08-05-25 - BR - TUE - No John Isn't The Voice On New Window Company Commercial - It's Natl Watermelon Day And A Viral Watermelon Vacuum Hack - Nebraska Man Busted Whacking In Public Toilet

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: August 5, 2025 Release Date: August 5, 2025

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Overview

In this lively episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's top morning radio show, host John Holmberg, alongside co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, navigates through a mix of humorous clarifications, trending viral hacks, and intriguing local news. The episode delves into the confusion surrounding a window company commercial, celebrates National Watermelon Day with a unique vacuum hack, and discusses a bizarre incident involving a Nebraska man. Rich with banter and sharp wit, the hosts deliver an engaging and entertaining morning roundup for their listeners.

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Clarification on Window Company Commercials

Timestamp: 03:00 - 08:41

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg addressing a recurring mix-up among listeners who mistakenly believe he is the voice behind a recent window company commercial. Holmberg clarifies, “I'm getting a lot of emails that I have to just clear this up. I don't know what the spot is. It's a commercial. Is it the window spot? That Puerto Rican guy. Everybody thinks it's me. It's not.” (02:40)

He elaborates on the confusion, explaining that the commercial features a character from California Deluxe Windows, not himself. The hosts humorously dissect the commercial’s quirky elements, including the use of playful accents and exaggerated claims about window installations. Bret Toledo humorously mocks the commercial by suggesting, “They built house out of potato chips. They are gentle. But if your house made of potato…” (04:02), highlighting the absurdity of the advertisement's content.

The conversation shifts to reminiscences about past advertising characters like Tasha and Jeannie, adding a nostalgic touch to the discussion. John reflects, “I miss Tasha and the Genie.” (02:46), while Dick Toledo comments on the memorable yet misleading nature of the current commercial.

National Watermelon Day and the Viral Vacuum Hack

Timestamp: 08:41 - 19:44

Transitioning to lighter topics, the hosts celebrate National Watermelon Day. Pat McMahon introduces a viral vacuum hack that has taken social media by storm: placing a watermelon on a vacuum cleaner to increase its suction power. “The video is racking up millions of views. The woman who posted says it does…” (18:07), Pat explains, citing Tom’s Guide’s positive review of the hack.

The crew engages in playful skepticism and humorously debates the practicality of the hack. John Holmberg humorously questions the effectiveness, asking, “Wait a minute. You put a watermelon on your vacuum and it makes it harder?” (18:10), while Brady points out, “Yeah, there's more weight.” (18:35), highlighting the absurdity of balancing a watermelon on a vacuum. Their banter adds a comedic layer to the discussion, making the segment both informative and entertaining.

Nebraska Man Busted for Public Indecency

Timestamp: 22:04 - 25:00

The episode takes a turn towards local news with Pat McMahon sharing a bizarre story from Nebraska. “This 65-year-old dude from Nebraska, Edward Sinner, got arrested on Thursday after cops found him sitting on the floor of a public bathroom with his junk out.” (22:56), Pat informs listeners about the incident involving public indecency and possession of meth.

The hosts dissect the bizarre nature of the arrest with their characteristic humor. John Holmberg quips, “I don't think that dude is big on rules. So banning him did nothing.” (23:58), while Bret Toledo adds, “Couldn't go to jail for going 47 on the freeway. So long, Megan.” (20:10), intertwining unrelated humor into the discussion. Brady and Dick Toledo further embellish the story with exaggerated and funny observations about the suspect’s appearance and behavior, creating a lighthearted yet engaging narrative around the serious topic.

Additional Highlights

Throughout the episode, the hosts touch upon various other topics, including:

• National Underwear Day: A brief mention of the day’s significance, though it quickly diverts into humorous exchanges about laundry and clothing habits.

• Juggling for Brain Health: Pat McMahon discusses studies highlighting the cognitive and physical benefits of juggling, adding an informative yet entertaining segment to the show.

• Animal News from Denmark: A humorous take on the Allburg All Borg Zoo’s unusual request for pet donations, leading to a comedic dialogue about the types of animals being sought and the logistics of their care.

• Pop Darts League: The crew explores the quirky new sport of pop darts, where participants throw suction cup darts aiming at a target, sparking amusing debates on its practicality and entertainment value.

• Viral Videos and Social Media Trends: The hosts review and react to a series of humorous and sometimes bizarre viral videos, providing their candid and witty opinions on internet culture.

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Notable Quotes

• John Holmberg:

  • “I'm not the voice on the window commercial.” (02:07)
  • “National Watermelon Day and that vacuum hack sounds wild.” (15:31)

• Pat McMahon:

  • “Edward Sinner was doing what he was doing, whatever that was.” (24:33)
  • “Juggling can boost brain health and even count as exercise.” (21:13)

• Bret Toledo:

  • “Maybe that's him.” (07:07)
  • “Couple of dough balls.” (37:07)

• Dick Toledo:

  • “They built house out of potato chips.” (04:02)
  • “It's called the pop darts league.” (30:32)

• Brady Bogen:

  • “We'll see it in a minute on Brad's video.” (26:32)

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Concluding Remarks

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully blends humor with topical discussions, creating a dynamic and engaging listening experience. From clarifying misconceptions about advertisements to exploring viral trends and dissecting odd news stories, John Holmberg and his team maintain a balance of entertainment and information. The hosts' chemistry and quick-witted exchanges ensure that listeners are both amused and informed, making it a standout episode in their morning lineup.

Transcript

[Brett]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Larry McFeely]

This is Larry McFeely and we all know August in Arizona is brutal. We're talking triple digit temps that'll melt your flip flops. But Toyota trucks, don't sweat it. The tacoma tundra and 4Runner are built to handle that kind of heat. I've taken Tundras across the valley and up into the mountains. No issues, no drama, just pure performance in the blazing sun. Right now is the national sales event at your Valley Toyota dealers, so it's the best time to gear up. Whether you're escaping the hot weather or working in it. These trucks are made for the Arizona heat. Visit your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com toyota let's go places.

[Brady]

It's Brady from the HMS crew for game Day Men's Health, the valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations. You should do what I did and schedule a complimentary appointment which is quick and easy. You'll meet with a board certified medical director and figure out what treatments that can help you. Whether you need more energy, medical, weight loss or sexual health treatments. Game Day Men's Health Clinic is a true game changer. Go to gameday phoenix.com and schedule your complimentary appointment today. Get back in the game with gameday Men's Health.

[Brett]

Hey Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.

[Byron]

Brett I sure do. It's M and P Guns Customs. M and P Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[Brett]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Byron]

We can new it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no wa.

[Brett]

Well there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscustoms.com.

[John Holmberg]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. I'm getting a lot of emails that I have to just clear this up. I don't know what the spot is. It's a commercial. Is it the window spot? That Puerto Rican guy. Everybody thinks it's me. It's not.

[Brett]

Yeah, Larry said the same.

[John Holmberg]

Larry thought it was too. Larry's like, did you do that? Like, that sounds like you doing an impression. It's not. That's just. That's a real. Dude, I think it's another window company. Is that the. The custom window? Yeah, it's California Deluxe Windows. And it's. I, I don't have it in front of me, but the guy does this. It's like an Italian, Puerto Rican thing. And people think it's me because at the endy system, I come on, man. I'm like, it would be exactly what I would do in this characters. That doesn't seem like real. That's real. And I'll start paying attention to their ads more and maybe we'll have another Tasha and Jeannie situation with Doors and.

[Pat McMahon]

Windows, a new drama.

[John Holmberg]

I miss Tasha and the Genie. I.

[Pat McMahon]

Great story.

[John Holmberg]

They, you know, I don't know if they're still advertising on the boring stations in the building, but I think that they were making hay over here. We were totally invested in the Tasha and Jeannie story. And then they went away. Toledo, just put it on. We're going to give him a free. This is. People think this is me. It's not.

[Aaron]

Hi, I'm Aaron, founder of Custom Deluxe Windows. Ever notice when your neighbors get new windows? There is a large, black broken stucco, uneven plaster, and even mismatched paint. At Custom Deluxe Windows, we never leave a ring around the window.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Aaron]

Because we are one of the only companies in Arizona that custom crafts every window and rush your home's exact measurements. Almost everyone else on the radio is a distributor. They grab a window from a warehouse, break open your walls, shove it in, and patch things up. At Custom Windows, we take pride in our work. Our installation technique is so precise. We do not break your stucco. Your house could be covered with potato chips and we wouldn't crack one.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody's getting cracked at that house either. Your house could be covered in potato.

[Toledo]

Chips and he wouldn't crack one.

[John Holmberg]

He is from a bad country where they make houses out of chips.

[Paul]

They built house out of potato chips. They are gentle. But if your house made of potato.

[John Holmberg]

Chips common in Ukraine, we won't crack your house of chips. What a weird thing to say. But no, that is not me. And people are like, are you that Puerto Rican guy? Are you that Italian guy? Are you that Russian guy? And I'm like, I gotta listen to this. Nobody knows who he is.

[Paul]

I don't care.

[John Holmberg]

I listened.

[Paul]

Look, your house is made of peanut brittle. We put windows in it. We do the frosting just so no crap. We make the little Lines out of white frosting. It gets harder in the sunshine. You did me get the A plus in fourth grade.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I wish we had to cover.

[Paul]

It in yogurt to keep 5 degrees cooler indoors. And don't get me started about Putin's drones.

[Brett]

Somebody said it sounds like Triumph the Insult dog.

[Paul]

What?

[Brett]

It sounds like Triumph the Insult.

[John Holmberg]

It does? Yeah.

[Paul]

These windows are perfect for me to poop on. I put in windows so strong, Putin's Thrones stand no chance and you're in mesa. What are you worried about Putin's Thrones for? Are you out of your mind? Anyway, I wouldn't.

[John Holmberg]

That the dude just kind of lose train of thought in the middle of a commercial in any way. Me?

[Paul]

You're out of your mind. You put in the windows. We do that for you. Why you do it yours? Anyway. Okay. Call us later. Custom windows.

[Pat McMahon]

I like this guy doing an Instagram post. Hope he has a cigar in his mouth. Yeah.

[Paul]

What are you looking at? Go look at your new windows.

[Toledo]

What's the company again?

[John Holmberg]

Custom Deluxe Windows.

[Paul]

Why are you looking at me? I just put in windows. Look outside. They're clear. The glass part in your wall.

[John Holmberg]

Jeez.

[Paul]

Anyway.

[John Holmberg]

It'S not me. I wish it was. I hope. I hope he's. I hope he's got a sense of humor. It's a new client. I'm thinking. I haven't heard this before. We probably said, hey, we can get Paul to do your commercials.

[Paul]

Why would they. Paul do commercials? I speak the language. I cover right on this. I'll do it. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway.

[Toledo]

Parents will know this and sound a little like Dr. Doofenshmirtz from.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Dr. DoofenshmirtZ is a thing. What was that? That was Finnish and Ferb. Yeah, that's right.

[Paul]

It's okay. Hey, guys, look at your windows. What do you think of them? Are they. Are they there? The first place. Let's start there. Are they. Do you have them? If you don't call me Lucky. If you've got cracky ones, put in new ones. If your house made of lace, I'll come over and they won't break one.

[John Holmberg]

He's not on the website? No.

[Toledo]

The only person is this little redhead down in the corner. Your little chat bot.

[John Holmberg]

Their chat bot. Is she the same?

[Paul]

Come on. What are you doing?

[Toledo]

Hope so.

[Paul]

Look, if you're here, clearly you're not satisfied with your current window condition. You don't go to a window website if your windows are okay.

[Toledo]

No potato houses, no chip houses on their own.

[Pat McMahon]

Pretty nice.

[Paul]

Hey, look, there's a bad guy peeking in one of the windows. Good news is Putin's throats will get in before he gets in your house.

[John Holmberg]

It's a. It's. I don't know what that accent is, but I like him. I'm gonna get some windows from him. I need new doors on a spot in my yard. I should call them up.

[Paul]

Your doors are a mess.

[Toledo]

Doors in your yard?

[John Holmberg]

Yes, I put doors in my yard because I'm. That's a Warhol. It's my sea of doors. If you want to come over and take a look. No, not doors in my yard, moron. I have a. What's wrong with him?

[Paul]

He put doors in the yard for. What are you doing? Do a portal to another dimension, you moron.

[Toledo]

Maybe that's him.

[John Holmberg]

I hope so.

[Pat McMahon]

It's like Monsters, Inc. Yeah, they got doors.

[Paul]

You just open the door and the next thing you're on. Pluto, you idiot.

[Brett]

It's a video gallery. Play it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, play.

[Toledo]

No videos. There's no videos.

[Brett]

There's no video in their video gallery.

[Toledo]

Yeah, none. There's nothing.

[John Holmberg]

We need to step that up a little bit. I thought our 2060 department handled stuff like that. Or do they just collect the cash? Run. Seems like that. You nailed it.

[Toledo]

You nailed it.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, we'll help you with your video.

[Paul]

You do that. If I give you money, will you?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, if you give us money, we're going to make some videos. Making it rain at a strip club.

[Toledo]

What is it you do?

[Paul]

What is it going.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway? It's not me. I got like 10 emails. Every time that thing runs, people think it's me. It's not me. Although I kind of wish it was. Maybe next time we'll be the custom Deluxe window brothers.

[Paul]

That's my brother. He's a guy to do the windows, too. I'm not as good as you at the windows. Let's be honest. You are good at windows. I am just a guy. Don't sell yourself short, friend. We both do good windows.

[John Holmberg]

Just them arguing over who's better at windows.

[Toledo]

Overly complimentary.

[Paul]

Favorite kind of windows.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I like the clear ones.

[Paul]

I like the ones that are a little bit frosted.

[Toledo]

Clear ones.

[John Holmberg]

Bougie.

[Paul]

Yeah, that's clear. I like to look out and see the other side. Frosted ones are neat, though.

[John Holmberg]

I tell you, we do both anyway. Not me, but I wish it was. And I do like that he said, I'll do the commercials because people are going to remember it. Custom Deluxe windows. If you're looking for windows right now, that's the place to go. Just try to meet that guy. Brady pointed out that that Kaiko Roofing is still using Monty, who's been dead for years, because.

[Toledo]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because his name is, you know, synonymous. So.

[Pat McMahon]

Heard it the other day.

[Toledo]

He's like Prince. He has all kinds of archives of his.

[John Holmberg]

I guess they just took a clip of him going, we're crazy about quality from the grave.

[Pat McMahon]

I didn't know he was gone.

[Paul]

And just listen to Monty from the other side. I can't communicate with him because I'm so close to death's door. Pat McMahon. I can see and speak to Monty. Follow the light. He says.

[Pat McMahon]

Haven'T been cracked.

[Paul]

I haven't been cracked in years.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Pat.

[Paul]

Pat McMahon hasn't gotten cracked in a long time. But you know what is cracked? The top of Monty's casket. And he says this. I'm crazy about quality. Quality. Quality from the grave.

[John Holmberg]

You can't use a dead guy's tagline 15 years later.

[Pat McMahon]

It's one of the best taglines.

[John Holmberg]

Cause you never forget the accent. We love accents. It's time now for Brady to give you his affect. It's the Brady Report. It's brought to you by all Pro Shade Concepts. You want some shade in your backyard? Hop on it. These are the guys to do it. Hottest day in August's history is coming this week. We've never had a day in August over 115. And we're gonna have two this week. Yeah, that surprised me too.

[Toledo]

When was the 122?

[John Holmberg]

June 26th or 7th. Something like that. Yeah. And I remember that because it was. The suns had to do their. They did their parade like the day before or something. It was like 120. People forget the day before was just miserable too. But yeah. 116. Frank Caliendo has a theory that the Earth's in the wrong spot and they haven't told us. And everything moved a month.

[Toledo]

That could be.

[John Holmberg]

And it starts to feel like this year's June felt a lot like May. July felt a lot like June. And August is rolling like the old.

[Pat McMahon]

July does mean it doesn't cool down until November.

[John Holmberg]

Right. But it stays a little better into June now. At least into May. He's been kind of kept my eye on that. I'm like, he's kind of right because I've lived here a long time. June used to be just miserable. Although last year it was. And now it's kind of okay. July sort of sucks. That used to be when the temperatures would dry. You lived here. Temperatures would drop. I don't know how many little league games I had forfeited because of the monsoons. Early July. And then my birthday was always ruined July 26th. Always ruined by a monsoon storm. Every time.

[Toledo]

July for Little league for Alex was like all star time.

[John Holmberg]

Always. Yeah, same. We get an all star. Well, I. I say Little league. I was always an all star. So that lasted till August. I mean, that was part of it. I signed up in February. I intended to be there till August. And I was. Morning sickness medicate KUPD It's Brady from.

[Brady]

The HMS Crew for Game Day Men's Health, the valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations. You should do what I did and schedule a complimentary appointment, which is quick and easy. You'll meet with a board certified medical director and figure out what treatments that can help you. Whether you need more energy, medical, weight loss or sexual health treatments. Game Day Men's health clinic is a true game changer. Go to gameday phoenix.com and schedule your complimentary appointment today. Get back in the game with Game Day Men's health.

[Larry McFeely]

It's Larry McFeely. Just had my annual Mission Beach San Diego vacation. Full of sand, sun and yes, Toyota trucks. Mission beach lifeguards don't mess around. They roll with Toyota Tacomas, Tundras, and 4Runners as their official lifeguard vehicles. Why? Because they need serious capability, dependability, and the power to protect the coast. And right now, it's the national sales event at your Valley Toyota dealers. Which means it's the perfect time to grab a Toyota truck built for adventure. Whether you're hitting the beach or the Arizona back roads, visit your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com toyota let's go places.

[Brett]

Hey, Byron. I was looking at mmpguns.com's website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.

[Byron]

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys, and more. The best part is, if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[Brett]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[Byron]

Nope, with all our distributors. So what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[Brett]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP guns.comberg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

But yeah, we Got ruined. It doesn't happen anymore. Nobody's kids games get rained out. And then August turned into like late August. September. That's when we'll get weird monsoon stuff. If Frank's theory's right and it's starting to kind of makes sense anyway. All pro shade. They can get that shade on your house for these hot miserable August days that used to just be 108 and windy. And if it does happen to whip up some wind, you get the automatic ones. They suck themselves back in like a belly on a beach. When the wind gets them, they'll do it themselves. They're kind of self trained to not be in the wind. Like one of those umbrellas you got in your backyard that can float away if you don't have it down or ends up in the pool. Nightmare. All pro shade. It's all done right. 20 years they've been doing it right. They'll do it for you. Free installation. Free estimates. All you got to do is go to allprochade.com Brady Report.

[Pat McMahon]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Pat McMahon]

Happy National Underwear Day. Hey, wash them up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, every day. And? And I saw something this morning about what national day it is. Do you have it?

[Pat McMahon]

I don't.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, never mind. I'm not gonna bring it up.

[Toledo]

Oh, is it a food one? Of course. How did you miss it?

[John Holmberg]

Well, more importantly, how did Brett miss it?

[Toledo]

Oh, lasagna gravy.

[Brett]

We already did lasagna.

[Toledo]

Pasta, cannoli.

[John Holmberg]

I think Brady. I think Brady knows I'm not saying it.

[Pat McMahon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Happy National Watermelon Day. Calm down. See, I knew it couldn't be done. Yeah, I kind of wanted this. I didn't expect it to be as big. I thought I'd get a snicker out of it. No snicker.

[Toledo]

That's an out loud stop it outburst.

[Pat McMahon]

Anywho.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. He's uncomfortable. Cinco de Bret.

[Pat McMahon]

Some basis. Fun facts. Ireland is the only country that has a smaller population than it did in 1840.

[Paul]

Hmm, good.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not upset at that at all. There are less Irish than ever before. We're winning, guys. This is great. Well, no, I mean, just generally. That's where they start. Toledo. That's the spring. The Irish spring. As to speak.

[Pat McMahon]

Kelsey Grammer has been nominated for an Emmy for playing Frasier Crane in three different TV shows.

[John Holmberg]

There was Cheers, Cheers, Frasier, Frazier, and then Friends.

[Toledo]

Second one.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what was the last one?

[Pat McMahon]

The spin off.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the new Frasier.

[Pat McMahon]

Wings.

[Paul]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He was on Wings.

[Pat McMahon]

I Forgot about this one episode. Cameo.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brett]

Spin off.

[John Holmberg]

Wings was. No, it wasn't. But it was in the area and because it was on a half. It was on Frasier, it says.

[Pat McMahon]

Which was a spin off.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Fraser's a spin off of Cheers, right? Yeah. Wings was on Thursday nights and they tried to boost it. It was on at 8:30 after Frazier. And so since it was. Well, it was after Cheers for a little bit.

[Pat McMahon]

Girl's name on Wings.

[John Holmberg]

Her real name was Crystal Bernard.

[Pat McMahon]

Yeah, Crystal Bernard.

[John Holmberg]

My dad always thought she looked like Elvis and it drove him nuts. And he wouldn't shut up about it. I'm like, she's cute. She's not cute.

[Paul]

She looks like Elvis.

[John Holmberg]

God, he's kind of right. Anyway, so that Frazier used this. The airplanes their airport once because they were up in Nantucket. Wings was a good show. Underrated.

[Pat McMahon]

Big Ben isn't the name of the clock or the clock tower in England. It's just the name of one of the bells hanging in the tower. The tower's name is Elizabeth Tower.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's a Big Ben. Sorry you lost that battle, Elizabeth. It's a Big Ben.

[Brett]

It's like the Sears Tower. It's the Sears Tower. It's not the Willis Tower.

[John Holmberg]

Willis Tower. Doesn't make sense.

[Pat McMahon]

All right, here's the latest tick tock hack. Supposed to help you. Your vacuum pick up more dirt by weighing it down. The item you put on your vacuum.

[Toledo]

Barbell.

[Pat McMahon]

A watermelon.

[John Holmberg]

Is that true?

[Pat McMahon]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute. You put a watermelon on your vacuum and it makes it harder.

[Pat McMahon]

The video is racking up millions of views. The woman who posted says it does get that video.

[John Holmberg]

Give me that video immediately.

[Pat McMahon]

You gotta balance it on there pretty good site. Tom's guide tested it out and said it does seem to help the vacuum pick up more dirt.

[Brett]

Yeah, there's more weight.

[Pat McMahon]

Really slow or the melon would roll off immediately.

[John Holmberg]

Right? Yeah. You got to tape it down.

[Pat McMahon]

Yeah. They said using watermelon up the fun factor of vacuuming. Yeah, sure.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there it is right there. Watermelon on a watermelon on a vacuum.

[Brett]

It's a Gilbert mom vacuum.

[John Holmberg]

I saw that. It's our hand manicured giant red fingernails. I need to see her ass to know who lives with her there.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I guarantee you that is a fully Mormon family because there isn't a single brother out there allowing that waste of good food.

[Paul]

What are you doing? Where to go? What are you putting that on the vacuum cleaner for?

[John Holmberg]

Dirty.

[Paul]

That's when the dirt goes.

[Brett]

Put that jar of mayonnaise on there. I use your.

[Paul]

Use your food. Here's your bland ass chicken and mayonnaise.

[John Holmberg]

Put that on the vacuum.

[Pat McMahon]

A new law just went into effect in Louisiana that bans people from driving below the speed limit in the left lane on highways. You can get cited for being just one mile per hour under the speed limit.

[John Holmberg]

Good.

[Pat McMahon]

Drivers will face 150 bucks on their first offense, 250 on their second, 350 on their third, and at that point, you could even be facing some jail time.

[Brett]

Good.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. You can go to jail for going 47 on the freeway. So long. Megan. I'm not bailing her out either. She's gonna learn this lesson. 47 would be a dream speed. I can ride my. Sometimes I pass her on the road, not realizing on my bicycle. They're gonna beat you to the restaurant.

[Pat McMahon]

The New York posted a story on how more and more studies have found juggling can boost brain health. And it can even count as exercise. It helps with everything from hand eye coordination to balance. A neuroscientist explained it changes how quickly you react to objects and how well you coordinate between two hands and how you keep your posture under control. Just juggling two balls can have a positive effect. But a study found in 2022 that all of the 20 seniors in a group were eventually able to juggle three balls. And it just took a little more practice.

[John Holmberg]

Most I ever got up to was 5 and I tried 4 the other day and it's. I. It's gone. That is a perishable skill. I can do three all day. I got to four, which is just kind of doubles. Five is a constant. Five. Five's tricky because you just got three in the air at once. But it's just a rainbow. You're making a circle. You're not really. Some people can do it. I couldn't do that.

[Pat McMahon]

You can burn up to 280 calories per hour. That's roughly what you'd get from an hour long walk.

[John Holmberg]

I used to all. All day baseball, sitting that dugout and just juggle when we weren't playing. Oh, two in one hands. That's the most fun. Doing two in both. Or you get two in each hand. Oh, then you can start doing fours.

[Pat McMahon]

I don't know if you saw this yesterday, but a pest control company in North Yorkshire, England, removed a rat from someone's house. From tip of the tail to the nose. 22 inches long, 2 foot size of a small cat. There it is, bagged up.

[Paul]

Oh, man, that's huge.

[John Holmberg]

That's a rat.

[Pat McMahon]

That's a rat.

[John Holmberg]

Where was this?

[Pat McMahon]

In Yorkshire, North Yorkshire, England.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the plague is coming back. That's a groundhog or a gopher.

[Paul]

Look at this.

[Pat McMahon]

I gotta see more. That's only in the bag. Pull that thing out.

[Paul]

What?

[Pat McMahon]

There's a guy.

[Toledo]

That's an otter.

[John Holmberg]

It does. It looks like an otter.

[Pat McMahon]

This 65 year old dude from Nebraska, Edward Sinner, got arrested on Thursday after cops found him sitting on the floor of a public bathroom with his junk out. Also had a bag of meth on him. It was a bathroom at a public park. Grand Island, Nebraska, about 90 miles west of Lincoln. Someone apparently found him and they're doing what he was doing. And then they called 91 1.

[John Holmberg]

He was doing what he was doing, whatever that was.

[Pat McMahon]

According to the police, there were also other items found next to him that had been he'd been using for sexual gratification. So lots of sinning going on with Mr. Sinner.

[John Holmberg]

Did you say pinecone?

[Pat McMahon]

No, I didn't say.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I thought you said.

[Pat McMahon]

They found all other items next to him on the floor that he was using.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Pat McMahon]

Turned out he had already been banned from all public parks in the area. He's facing charges for secondary trespassing, public indecency.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think that dude is big on rules. So banning him did nothing. If he's willing to whip his dick out and do meth in the park. Banning him from the parks and like, can't go in there. Got to follow that rule. What? He's way past like barriers.

[Pat McMahon]

What does Edward Sinner look like?

[John Holmberg]

What color is this crime?

[Toledo]

Edward Sinner.

[John Holmberg]

Edward, because he's clearly white. Naked, crystal meth. He's a white guy, balding, long hair, mullet. I'd say yeah. He looks a little bit like Trevor from Grand Theft Auto.

[Brett]

I'm gonna say John Gordon before he shaved his head.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. That's a skull. It.

[Paul]

Oh my God.

[John Holmberg]

What is that?

[Toledo]

Is that a white.

[John Holmberg]

One of Santa's elves laying naked in.

[Pat McMahon]

The bathroom floor with items coming out of the.

[John Holmberg]

Is that Danny Elfman? Who is that and what color is he?

[Toledo]

I was just gonna ask that.

[John Holmberg]

He looks a little like George Washington Carver. And he does Santa.

[Pat McMahon]

I mean, that's not a good mug shot.

[Paul]

Mugshot, Mug shot.

[John Holmberg]

Tin roof, rusted at the mug. Shotgun.

[Brett]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Byron]

The choice is simple, Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact. In fact, right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have ammo ink 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[Brett]

Well, it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Byron]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpguns.com.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd have just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house, cash. As is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1-800-channel now. Holmberg's morning sickness mug shot.

[Paul]

Sign says stay away fools, cause love rules at the mug shot.

[Toledo]

We'll see it in a minute on Brad's video.

[Pat McMahon]

There's a zoo in Denmark. It's in the news after asking people to donate their pets so they can feed the lions.

[John Holmberg]

I thought when I first read this.

[Pat McMahon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That it was pets who had already passed. It is not. The Zeus says they'll euthanize the pets peacefully for you.

[Pat McMahon]

The Allburg All Borg Zoo in northern Denmark. They made the appeal on Facebook Thursday. They said you donate your smaller pets.

[Toledo]

It needs to be a like a big, like a goat, though.

[John Holmberg]

People lost their minds.

[Pat McMahon]

But they said they don't want cats and dogs. Turns out they're just looking for pet rabbits, chickens, guinea pigs, small horses.

[Brett]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

You have a small horse to give away.

[Pat McMahon]

Don't worry though.

[John Holmberg]

They euthanize.

[Pat McMahon]

Put them down.

[John Holmberg]

But the thing I didn't understand was it's like we want the animals to feel like what it's like to eat in the wild again. But they don't find like euthanized horses, right.

[Pat McMahon]

Well, they Want the animals to be, you know, like fur and all. So they.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Pat McMahon]

It's better for them.

[John Holmberg]

That's up to them. Just because they've been pouring kibble, put some hair on it.

[Pat McMahon]

So if you're trying to go get.

[John Holmberg]

Your guinea pig, if you're tired of that guinea pig. Yeah, you're sick of it.

[Toledo]

If you, if you lost it in.

[John Holmberg]

The divorce.

[Toledo]

I don't know what the.

[John Holmberg]

Hell kind of sad divorce is that you keep the guinea pig that nobody's going, I'm digging my heels on the guinea pig. Come on, Toledo. Getting divorced and I'm gonna lose everything. That guinea pig is mine.

[Pat McMahon]

I didn't see this movie, but it was Marriage Story. It was with Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson had a big argument in it. Knock down, drag out argument. The U.S. department of Agriculture is using that argument. The audio to scare wolves away from livestock farms. The they have drones with thermal cameras that seek out wolves lurking in the darkness. And when they find one, a loudspeaker blasts alarming sounds like fireworks, gunshots, people arguing. It's where Adam and Scarlett come in. They also use ACDC's Thunderstruck. The USDA officials say it's been very effective.

[John Holmberg]

They just spin the wheel of what they're going to play next.

[Pat McMahon]

One location, Oregon. 11 cows were killed by wolves in a 20 day period after they sent the drones out. Only two cows were killed in the next 85 days.

[John Holmberg]

The cow seemed cool with it. They don't run.

[Pat McMahon]

No, but the wolves take off.

[John Holmberg]

Kind of the cow's fault, isn't it?

[Brett]

I should just play that. Japanese artist said Thriller went to go see Otto.

[John Holmberg]

Otto. I do Otto.

[Brett]

It's Otto or Yoko or whatever, you know.

[John Holmberg]

So it was like Otto Ado. I called her Adu too, but it's Otto. She's horrible. Yeah, just throw some Yoko at him. Just put Yoko scarecrows all over the place. The wolves won't go anywhere near it.

[Pat McMahon]

I got a couple of quick pretty videos. First one is someone's too big to be riding a bull.

[John Holmberg]

Oh God. It's a fat lady on one of those. On a baby bull. The bull dies, the bull dies.

[Brett]

This tries to get back on it.

[John Holmberg]

The poor bull's just trying to get away. She's a 400 pound Mexican woman on a small bull and the bull tries to run and it collapses under her.

[Toledo]

They padded up its horns.

[Brett]

How's she gonna complain she didn't get cracked?

[John Holmberg]

She get cracked. That bull needs a chiropractor. What kind of future does that bull have now. It was ridden to the ground like so many Mexican men by a big fat woman.

[Pat McMahon]

This is some WNBA practice. If you can do this.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Pat McMahon]

These are the new sport. These darts that you throw.

[John Holmberg]

They're throwing them from the crowd onto a table trying to stick it to a bald man's head. These suction cup darts.

[Paul]

You got him.

[John Holmberg]

That's the noise. Your handmade. When you smack the back of my head.

[Pat McMahon]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Throwing suction cup darts at a bald man from.

[Toledo]

It's called the pop darts league.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This is the greatest thing I've ever seen. Now if we could just make these dildos and land them on the WNBA court and stick them. That noise is unmistakable. As a bald man. As a bald man. I know when something's been smashed into the back of my head and stuck. And that noise is the noise that makes. That is a pop darts is a real lead.

[Pat McMahon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So they just.

[Pat McMahon]

I don't know how I think you try to get it close to it.

[John Holmberg]

Or try to land it on the.

[Pat McMahon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Cable. And that guy just did it.

[Pat McMahon]

There's like the. The jack dart right there in the center.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's what I'm saying. You got to land it on that dart. Right. Is that what they're trying to do?

[Pat McMahon]

Or close to it.

[John Holmberg]

I guess the closest one get a measure. So it's closest to the. Closest to the. To the jack. People attend this. And by the way, each one of those dudes, they each threw three darts. All of them stuck. Yeah. And it's not against a wall. It's on the floor table. That is awesome. Whoops.

[Paul]

Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

Homer didn't like it. Okay, here's a rare one. I want to watch this. They get this over on Katie us. That's place got a chance.

[Toledo]

Got to be on the Ocho.

[John Holmberg]

There's two.

[Pat McMahon]

First one underneath.

[John Holmberg]

He leaned it. It's leaning on the jack. The crowd goes crazy. They bring signs. Fender bender.

[Brady]

Good one, Mike.

[John Holmberg]

That's awesome. Is that coming to. Can we clear out the Phoenix arena tonight for their silly girl game and put this together.

[Pat McMahon]

Sounds like it's on the ESPN too. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The Ocho has a lot. They have a wiffle ball and they have that one greased up slide where people are gonna die before it's all over. But it is fun. They have to climb it. And it's a wavy slide and it's just covered in KY jelly and kids sometimes. And they're just getting. Somebody will get way ahead and then lose it. And they come down at 88 miles. An hour and just bowl, everybody. Awesome. All right, I'd watch that.

[Toledo]

See how much pop darts.

[John Holmberg]

That's worth buying for your house.

[Toledo]

Four player 34 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

All right, get on that, Brett. What do you got? All right.

[Brett]

Start here. A little bull riding, bull fighting.

[John Holmberg]

Fat Mexican on the back of this bull's just chasing the guy around a neighborhood. He falls down. Then the bull's got him up against a house. Oh, he's got. I don't remember this. It's taking his drawers off. It's pushing them all over the streets. The dirt streets of this cruddy town with bulls in the road. And he is just getting smashed. And again, grabbing the tail seems to be. Yeah, that seems to be the technique and of choice.

[Brett]

All right, remember this next time you're digging in Brady, all right?

[John Holmberg]

He's got a couple of dough balls. Those weird. Oh, God. Oh, God. Is that AI? He opened.

[Brett]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

He opened one of those gross Japanese dessert things. Those doughy, weird Japanese balls. And tons of spiders came out.

[Toledo]

Oh, that's crabs.

[John Holmberg]

Those are crabs. They're right. What in the world?

[Paul]

How did that happen?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's somebody's hand in the grinder.

[Paul]

We didn't even see that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's an Asian lady. She looks very concerned.

[Pat McMahon]

How do you back that out?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. Back that ass up. She got it all the way in there to the mid forearm. Oh, my God, that was horrible. All right, next one. Jesus, Brett, you're quick. Today, a gigantic fat lady eating the whole German chocolate cake. It's all over her face. She is gross. And she's being pleased by a thing you throw at a WNBA game. And did you notice that the thing that was pleasing her, the dildo, was attached to a ten foot pole? Because that's as close as a dude will get to her. Show that again. The guy didn't even have the decency to hand do it. He tied a pole to it and stood far away. Or they just. The machine. Oh, she's got the controls. Yeah, because nobody wants to be in a room with that. Look at the size of that broad. She did her hair. Why? Oh, she's eating a whole German chocolate cake. It's all over.

[Brett]

And they found footage of the Gilbert goons. This is Hayden, Braden, Caden, Hannah, and Hannah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Oh, geez, Gilbert. What in the world? All right, one of the dudes is banging another dude. One dude is. And then the girl in the middle is just kind of a. A spacer between the.

[Toledo]

She. Getting she.

[Brett]

No, no, she's Getting it from Braden.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. The other Braden's giving her one.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Little Braden's giving it to the girl in the middle, who's just leaning up the. It's guy, girl, girl, guy, guy. And the dude in the back is handing it to little Braden. Braden's not gonna be the same.

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

I would like position one in that. By the way, if that ever happens with us. I want the first spot. I don't want to be the guy in the back.

[Brett]

And here's a little spongebob stuff for you.

[John Holmberg]

There's a lady in the ocean. She's banging a Patrick starfish toy right there at the beach. Doing it from behind. Now Patrick's head is being used as a sex toy in public.

[Toledo]

That might be at Lake Pleasant.

[John Holmberg]

It does look like a lake. That's just wrong. The kids toy.

[Brett]

And we'll just end with this one.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Just don't that. All right.

[Paul]

Hi, lovely people.

[Brady]

I'm gonna make sweet and sour peppers.

[Paul]

Look at that.

[John Holmberg]

Real. There you go. I can't explain.

[Toledo]

It looks like an Anaheim pepper.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Paul]

Come on. Stop it. Stop it.

[John Holmberg]

We can't explain it. I can't explain this to you guys. Okay? It is a.

[Brett]

Let me play it again for you.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

People are going to make sweet and sour peppers.

[John Holmberg]

It's a big. It's a pepper where a woman's lady button should be. And it's about. Looks like a dog's red ride. It looks like a dog's pee pee. And it's sticking out of the top underneath. She's got a real girl part. And then some lady's face or guy's face that's got a little mustache on it. Starts to work.

[Pat McMahon]

This.

[John Holmberg]

It looks like it's skinned. It doesn't look like human skin. There's nothing about this. That's good. All right. I don't know what that guy's doing. Oh, that's the weirdest thing I've ever seen.

[Brett]

Here's your screensaver.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God.

[Brett]

I guess we'll just end with that one.

[John Holmberg]

You got another one? No, no, that's good. That's it.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I've never seen anything like that. That's a new one. I've never seen a lady button hard and six and a half inches long. That made dudes jealous.

[Larry McFeely]

Possible for that to prolapse.

[Toledo]

It's not right because that's what it looked like.

[John Holmberg]

The thing underneath could.

[Toledo]

Oh, the underneath.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She's got a hole. And then the. The lady button is like, right on top.

[Pat McMahon]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

Number two. Pencil on the pink. And then that thing that was kissing it.

[Pat McMahon]

Get the horn out of the way. Unicorn.

[John Holmberg]

It was Terrence. Trent. Darby. Okay, gross. That one's rattled me. It's 8. 19. Still got that Pantera thing looming? Haven't done that yet. Keep your ears open. It's your Brady report leaving. Thank God it's 98. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[Pat McMahon]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this.

[Doug Hopkins]

What makes work Beautiful? At lhh, we believe it's when recruitment, development and career transitions are more than just a set of talent solutions. They're part of something bigger. It's when the people you hire become the people you admire. When daily conversations become lifelong connections. When one journey ends and a new one begins. When Leaders Want to be learners. LHH is your single talent partner across the entire professional journey. LHH helps businesses build strong teams, develop inspiring leaders, and guide careers through every transition with empathy, clarity and confidence. Our solutions are powered by data, science and over 50 years of experience crafted to align with your culture to drive measurable results and lasting impact. Ready to discover how LHH creates a beautiful working world? Visit lhh.com beautiful recruitment development career transition LHH a beautiful working World.