08-05-25 - Reacts And Emails On Brady Report Zoo Story - Details On Pantera Backstage Promotion Giveaway - Billy Is Pissed He Can't Be Drunk At Pantera If He Wins

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: August 5, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Release Date: August 5, 2025

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1. Introduction and Promotions (00:00 - 02:20)

The episode kicks off with brief promotional segments from sponsors, including MMP Guns.com and Valley Toyota dealers.

• Brady Bogen promotes Game Day Men's Health Clinic, encouraging listeners to schedule complimentary appointments for various health treatments (00:38).

• John Holmberg introduces Doug Hopkins of DougHopkins.com, highlighting his efficient service in purchasing homes for cash, bypassing the usual stress associated with selling (01:09).

2. Listener Emails and Reactions (02:20 - 09:47)

John Holmberg delves into a series of listener emails, primarily reacting to a story Brady reported about people donating pets to zoos. John expresses strong opinions against the practice, advocating for euthanizing pets instead of sending them to zoos.

• John Holmberg (03:15): "Why in the world would you take pets from people's homes? Shetland ponies. Euthanize them and then throw them to lions to make them feel like they're in the wild."

A notable email from a listener criticizes John for encouraging dildo throwing at WNBA games. John defends the idea humorously, suggesting practical methods to ensure the dildos stick to the court and remain safe.

• John Holmberg (05:45): "I can offer prizes for my company, Hubbard Broadcasting, of upwards of $10,000. If you get one of those dildos, you throw it backflip style and it sticks like these dart guys..."

However, this segment also highlights frustrations with the station's phone lines being overwhelmed, a recurring joke among the hosts.

3. Pantera Backstage Promotion Giveaway (09:47 - 19:07)

The main feature of the episode is the Pantera Backstage Promotion Giveaway. John announces that Marcus Mape has won the contest, securing Pantera concert tickets and a chance to escort the band on stage.

• John Holmberg (11:28): "Marcus Mape is the champion. He got today's Pantera tickets and will be now qualified as one of the 10 people that could possibly be part of Pantera's security detail."

The discussion includes a detailed description of what the winner will experience, emphasizing the exclusivity and excitement of walking Pantera on stage and receiving band merchandise.

However, the promotion comes with a unique stipulation: participants must remain sober during the event.

• John Holmberg (17:48): "You must be sober. You must be sober to meet Pantera. They will not tolerate anybody who's had a couple pops."

This rule sparked a heated debate among the hosts, especially addressing a disgruntled listener, William, who vehemently opposes the sobriety requirement.

• John Holmberg (13:39): "William, I would say, hard pressed if a dude with a suitcase with $3 million rolled up plopped down in front of you and said, jerk me off."

The hosts humorously discuss alternative methods to fulfill the promotion's requirements, including creative (and absurd) ideas like parachuting dildos onto the court during WNBA games.

• John Holmberg (18:27): "If you saw a slow parachute with a dick falling onto an NBA court, I might have to go home because the tears and the tummy ache would be ridiculous."

4. Additional Promotions and Announcements (19:07 - 20:59)

The episode wraps up with more promotional segments:

• Brady Bogen reiterates the offer from Game Day Men's Health Clinic, urging listeners to take advantage of the complimentary appointments (09:47).

• Larry McFeely emphasizes the durability of Toyota trucks, ideal for Arizona's extreme heat, during the ongoing national sales event at Valley Toyota dealers (10:17).

• Byron from MMP Guns announces MMP Guns Customs, showcasing their range of firearm customization services, including polishing, plating, bluing, and laser engraving (20:35).

  • Byron (20:35): "MMP Guns is your one-stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection of handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre-owned..."

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Key Takeaways:

• Listener Engagement: The hosts actively engage with listener emails, addressing both serious concerns and humorous criticisms, fostering a dynamic and interactive atmosphere.

• Promotional Strategy: Multiple segments are dedicated to promoting sponsors and their offerings, seamlessly integrating advertisements into the content.

• Controversial Humor: The episode leverages edgy humor, particularly around the Pantera giveaway and dildo throwing antics, aiming to entertain and provoke reactions among listeners.

• Exclusive Giveaways: The Pantera Backstage Promotion is a central highlight, offering fans a unique opportunity while enforcing rules that generate spirited discussions.

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Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg (03:15): "Why in the world would you take pets from people's homes? Shetland ponies. Euthanize them and then throw them to lions to make them feel like they're in the wild."

• John Holmberg (05:45): "I can offer prizes for my company, Hubbard Broadcasting, of upwards of $10,000. If you get one of those dildos, you throw it backflip style and it sticks like these dart guys..."

• John Holmberg (11:28): "Marcus Mape is the champion. He got today's Pantera tickets and will be now qualified as one of the 10 people that could possibly be part of Pantera's security detail."

• John Holmberg (13:39): "William, I would say, hard pressed if a dude with a suitcase with $3 million rolled up plopped down in front of you and said, jerk me off."

• Byron (20:35): "MMP Guns is your one-stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection of handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre-owned..."

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This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully blends listener interaction, humor, and promotional content, delivering an engaging experience for its Arizona audience. Whether it's debating the ethics of pet donations to zoos or orchestrating elaborate giveaways with rock bands, John Holmberg and his co-hosts ensure the show remains both entertaining and unpredictable.

Transcript

[Brett]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Larry McFeely]

It's Larry McFeely. Just had my annual Mission Beach San Diego vacation. Full of sand, sun and yes, Toyota trucks, Mission beach lifeguards don't mess around. They roll with Toyota Tacomas, Tundras and four Runners as their official lifeguard vehicles. Why? Because they need serious capability, dependability and the power to protect the coast. And right now, it's the national sales event at your Valley Toyota dealers. Which means it's the perfect time to grab a Toyota truck built for adventure. Whether you're hitting beach or the Arizona back roads, visit your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com toyota let's go places.

[Brady]

It's Brady from the HMS crew for game Day Men's Health, the Valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations. You should do what I did and schedule a complimentary appointment which is quick and easy. You'll meet with a board certified medical director and figure out what treatments that can help you. Whether you need more energy, medical weight loss or sexual health treatments. Gameday Men's Health Clinic is a true game changer. Go to gameday phoenix.com and schedule your complimentary appointment today. Get back in the game with Game Day Men's Health.

[John Holberg]

It's John Holberg here from the Morning Sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new Realtor all the time. I do know this though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd have just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house, cash. As is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online at Doug hopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1800 now. Hberg's Morning Sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Beef stick in my mouth. Hold on. I'm going to stop having all these delicious snacks laying around.

[Brett]

Play that KB drop now.

[Brady]

Constantly have a beef stick in your mouth.

[John Holberg]

That is true. It is a KDKB moment, isn't it? I've got a beef stick in my mouth. 93. 3. There we go. Making all new drops. Damn it. That'll do.

[Brett]

Too much beef in your mouth.

[John Holberg]

More sticky. Man, that's not good. All right, I took a bite right as I thought the crescendo to the ACDC song was a little longer than it is. It weren't. I'm a lot of emails of people who are like, and you're 100% right. This Josh guy has got me going. He says, Brady's story about people donating their pets to this stupid zoo so the animals can feel like they're in the wild. Here's an idea. Put them back in the wild. Euthanize the pets that you want to make feel like they're in the wild instead of euthanizing more house pets to feed these bigger house pets. Total truth right there. Total, absolute truth. Why in the world would you take pets from people's homes? Shetland ponies. Euthanize them and then throw them to lions to make them feel like they're in the wild. That isn't anything. I don't get it. I'll never get it. I get the looky loo factor. But don't act like you're seeing them up close in their natural environments. It's like going to jail and taking a look at prisoners wandering around looking, oh, there's Jodi Arias. Ooh, this isn't how she acts normally. You're not seeing them in their normal anything. They're just laying there looking at you like, I hate it. I hate this. Making them paint and stuff. Never once have you been on a safari in Africa and the elephant's got a brush with a chain around its back leg hucking out paintings so somebody can make 50 grand for conservation. You want conservation? Stop stealing them. Simple stuff. I don't understand. But Josh, I'm with you. And he's got me all fired up here on my emails. Also got one lady that was mad at me about me encouraging dildo throwing at WNBA games. And again, in the safest possible manner. She said, I just think it's funny. But you can't tell people to throw things. You're going to get in trouble. No, I'm not. I can tell people to throw things. If they do it, they're idiots. But I can tell you to do it. And I can offer prizes for my company, Hubbard Broadcasting, of upwards of $10,000. If you get one of those dildos, you throw it backflip style and it sticks like these dart guys and put it on the court and have it stick for the simple fact that it's going to take at least three tugs for somebody to get it off the. Off the wood. And that right there is worth it for all of it. So I've recently learned that you can go and just volunteer people's money for any reason whatsoever. And I found that out through work. And so I'm going to do it back. You don't even have to talk to him about it, evidently. Just do it. And then. Is it true? You've seen it? It's the rumor. You don't have to say a word to him. You just go, hey, by the way, I promised this to. Oh, I'll do that too. So they'll give you ten grand if you stick one on the court. But you got to stick. It can't just land. Just land. Tripp's going to love cutting that shot. Well, he's got to. You have to do it. It just stick. And then that guy's got. And it comes off the court. And that is the way things work in the world. So, lady, no, I'm not encouraging anyone to throw it. I do find it hysterical when dildos get what just happened. We gotta figure something's going on. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You know what that means? 585-9800 is the phone number. If the phones work, there's nothing here does. We're busy giving money away to other things other than the goddamn phone company fix. These phones have been broken for 10 years. But when you guys call too much, it overloads the phone. So this is. There they all go, Brett. So far, so Good. Let's see. Tenth caller, 585-9800. You, my friend, will qualify to escort Pantera on stage at their show coming up here on August 26th. That talking stick Resort amphitheater by the by, that walk on stage from the dressing room to the stage is pretty cool. And when you get on that, it is a pretty neat walk. Well, it depends on which one they're coming from because it can cut you through that side thing. Still a nice walk, though. So you get to go from their dressing room out that little weird hallway. You're going to walk kind of inside out for a second if you go that one way or you just cut right across that side, I guess. Yeah, they have. And then you're going to do the flashlights for them. You'll walk Pantera on stage. You'll feel that booming energy. No performers Rush feels better than the initial pop of a crowd 10,000 strong for sure. I mean, that's going to be a big crowd and talking. Stick a load up. You're going to get yourself one of the security flashlights as you are a security detail member as you escort them up there. You get your flashlight, you give it back. You get on down there. They give you tickets, and they say, hey, hop into the photo pit, which is right in front. You will be standing with Phil and the gang from Pantera right there on stage. Beautiful thing. If you are our grand prize winner right now, you'll qualify. We'll give you a pair of tickets and get this thing going. How about that? Also going to get Pantera shirt stuff. Like, they're going to give you some swag. Maybe even get the boys to autograph it. Now, the one rule that they have in Pantera's rule, not our rule, we don't normally care, and this is almost in a weird way, banning all Native Americans. You must be sober. You must be sober to meet Pantera. They will not tolerate anybody who's had a couple pops. Don't risk it. Got that guy emailing this morning. Don't. We don't know, but I don't think it's a good idea. Go in. Do you know what sober means? Unaffected by substance. Don't do it.

[Brady]

I have to bring them a sobe.

[John Holberg]

Woman Adderall, and I take, like, two. No. Do not change the chemical makeup of your body that day. Till after you get into that photo pit. Drink, like, a whole bottle of Baron Jaeger. I don't care what you've got. Crush on a bear.

[Brett]

Jaeger's a tough, especially in that heat.

[John Holberg]

Tough choice to go to. Right there. That made me a little sick, too. When it fell out of my mouth. I'm like, ah, it's not one I would go to.

[Brady]

And a minimum of three songs, I think, in the photo pit, if you behave.

[John Holberg]

Oh, yeah. If you start acting good and you're.

[Brady]

Not probably there, it could be there longer.

[John Holberg]

Nobody's gonna pay attention. All right, everybody out. Like, they're probably gonna get to stick around the whole time anyway you look at it. This is awesome. And thanks to Larry, our humble but lovable boss man who got this whole thing put together. And, man, oh, man, has he been doing some handshake deals with these guys at Q Prime to get you guys backstage in cool ways. We've been complaining that backstage is nothing for years. Start doing stuff like this. This is great. Get to be part of it instead of just standing there getting pushed up against walls. Love it. 10th caller 585-9800 that is what we're looking to do right now. Good luck to all of you. Somebody's going to Pantera.

[Brady]

It's Brady from the HMS crew for Game Day Men's Health, the valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations. You should do what I did and schedule a complimentary appointment which is quick and easy. You'll meet with a board certified medical director and figure out what treatments that can help you. Whether you need more energy, medical, weight loss or sexual health treatments. Game Day Men's Health Clinic is a true game changer. Go to gameday phoenix.com and schedule your complimentary appointment today. Get back in the game with Game Day Men's Health.

[Larry McFeely]

This is Larry McFeely and we all know August in Arizona is brutal. We're talking triple digit temps that'll melt your flip flops. But Toyota trucks don't sweat it. The tacoma tundra and 4Runner are built to handle that kind of heat. I've taken Tundras across the valley and up into the mountains. No issues, no drama, just pure performance in the blazing sun. Right now is the national sales event at your Valley Toyota dealers. So it's the best time to gear up whether you're escaping the hot weather or working working in it. These trucks are made for the Arizona heat. Visit your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com toyota let's go places.

[Brett]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Byron]

The choice is simple Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. And we have Ammo Inc. 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[Brett]

Well, it sounds like MP Gun Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Byron]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at MMP Guns.comberg's morning sickness.

[John Holberg]

It's who is our winner? Burt? Who won? We got a winner for the Pantera thing.

[Brett]

Marcus Mape.

[John Holberg]

Marcus Mape is the champion. He got today's Pantera tickets and will be now qualified as one of the 10 people that could possibly the only one out of the 10 qualifiers that could go up there and be part of Pantera security detail. Everybody seemingly very excited about this contest, save for one William Line fiber. William emails a lot and most time it's very funny. William's got a. He's sharp around the edges is what we'll say. I don't think you. He's got some. He's got some rough elbows. I think my. He comes at you a little strong sometimes. This one says, I'm trying to enter your gay ass Pantera promotion just to turn it down. No way I'm going to Pantera concert sober, then spending 25 bucks per beer to catch up after the show is basically over. Well, why take that away from someone else? You're gonna win just to say no. Yeah, because I want to be a dick to everyone. Then just don't play. He also emailed me yesterday when we had the contest of, you know, the what would Brady do? That guy was in debt to just about everybody. And his one friend he owes three grand to said, if you give me a hand job, we'll call it even. Humiliate him at the same time, get a little something out of it. And William emails goes, I hate when you guys play these stupid what if gay games, homo f word games. They get into our heads. I'm broke and I'm not jerking off. A homo F word for 3K. Not a friend, not stranger danger. I wouldn't even do it for 3 million. Now, 3 billion, where we meet and where's the cameras? I don't care. But you wouldn't pay me 3 billion to beat a guy off. You could do it. A chick would do it for free if you had that kind of money, Right? Your logic is proving my point, William. Every man has a price. Yours is ridiculous. But I'd be, I would say, hard pressed if a dude with a suitcase with $3 million rolled up plopped down in front of you and said, jerk me off. Most guys would pretty much put away all that homophobia for a second. We do it dry. You need lotion right into that hand. You want to spit in my hand? Go ahead, you do it.

[Brett]

Filming this.

[John Holberg]

Thank you. I'll use yours. But yeah, that's my point. And this dude's price is a lot lower than yours. It isn't to see what makes you gay, it's what makes you a millionaire. That's not such a bad way to get there. Think about it. Think about it all day, William. And I understand that there's a lot of people, you know, you might want to Consider that you have a bit of a substance abuse issue. Is if you're emailing me, a little angry that I said you have to go to the Pantera show sober to meet him, and you don't even have tickets to the show and you're already mad. That pisses me off. Were you gonna go? No. What are you mad about? And get drunk at home and play their albums. Yeah, but fighting for alcoholics everywhere. I don't like when people say stay sober, even if it's just metaphoric. It's crazy. Charles from Aftermath. Great restaurant, born and bred. He's got that one, too. Just says, I'm with two people right now. Says 30k will do the trick. All right, well, there you go. If you want to go over there, aftermath on 16th street in Bethany. Ask for Charles. If you've got three stacks of ten on my way. He'll introduce you to the sous chef, and then you go into his office. It could happen. Well, congratulations to our winner today, Marcus. Hopefully he isn't here to sabotage the entire Pantera thing for his own personal drunken needs. I don't understand that.

[Brady]

What's the victory there, backstaging him?

[John Holberg]

No, you just don't to say. Right. Like, I just. I'm turning it down. It's the. If I can't have it, no one can. Well, control all. We're all. I think it's a reasonable request. It's right here, written on the bottom of the page with the info on it. Must be sober, winner must be. And then in parentheses at the time of the event. It doesn't say all the time. In fact, if you want to really risk it and your alcoholism's just screaming at you, get drunk that morning, sober up during the day. Meet Pantera about 8, 9 o'. Clock. You should be good. I know that's pushing it. You know, walk them up on stage and then run to the bar after. The problem is, you're going to sit through three songs first. What am I going to do? You'll be all right. Yeah.

[Brett]

They're not telling you to go to AA or anything.

[John Holberg]

This isn't leaving Las Vegas. You're gonna make it.

[Brady]

Thought it was a reasonable request.

[John Holberg]

It's a wildly reasonable request. Please don't be drunk. You do it like your work has. I know you think this is dumb, but your work has that request every day. Every single day. Your work basically says, please don't be drunk. And for the most part, for the.

[Brady]

The amount of time you're working, even if you're part Time.

[John Holberg]

Don't show up drunk. Don't get drunk while you're here. Then when you're done, do whatever you want. It is a reasonable request. If they're asking you to do a little. Perform a little job for them, that's kind of important. Don't be drunk. We don't want you wandering around on the stage. We don't want to wrangle you or. It's a reasonable thing. At some point in your day, every day, somebody says, please don't be drunk for this. Like, without saying it. Like, it's an assumed, you know? You want to go to lunch with your dad? Sure. I hope I don't have to say this, but I'm going to, just in case. Don't show up drunk. I'm like, that's just a thing. Whatever. Whatever, dude. I already have a mother, you prick. Yeah. So it's a reason Pantera is not being unreasonable by asking you to not be drawn. I know William's going nuts right now at home. He's. If he can, you know, if he hasn't spilt his Jagermeister all over his keyboard and ruined it, he's pounding on it right now. An angry letter. And I suggest, William, that you send this letter through the WNBA fandom X Factor page. Just because they, like, when people yell about me.

[Brett]

Sherry will help you type it up.

[John Holberg]

Sherry will get it for you. Also had a suggestion that for the $10,000 that Hubbard is promising, the next person to stick a dildo to a WNBA court. He said, what about a parachute? Now, again, we've been over this. Flying dildos are funny no matter where they are. Parachuting dildos, the 181st or whatever. I don't know what you'd call that. 82nd Airborne. If I saw a slow parachute with a dick falling onto an NBA court, I might have to go home because the tears and the tummy ache would be ridiculous.

[Brady]

Especially if it gets caught in a draft.

[John Holberg]

You want to talk about an oblique workout? Especially because the people would see it go, all right, stop the game. As it slowly floats down, and then they wave at it in the air like it's a butterfly. They're not going to catch it the first few times. Just going to bat it around a little bit. Crowd would be losing their minds. That's corking a bat. We can't have parachutes on the dildo.

[Brett]

Plus, it would be coming down so slow, somebody could grab it before it sticks, too. So it might.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, well, that's the risk you run that's true. I still say you get that good old fashioned backflip and try to spin it and knock it on. It's like playing jarts if it sticks.

[Brady]

Oh, like a. Like you're doing with a water bottle.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, like. Well, that was the whole idea. The challenge was those kids that were flipping water bottles and trying to land them. Do that with one of those sex toys that they're chucking at the WNBA girls. And again, keep it safe. Do not throw those at the players. Wait for them to go down there and miss all their shots on the other end and then scramble around for the rebounds. You got plenty of time of them one on one end of the court because half of them are on the ground by the time the balls in the air. Look, it isn't even about missing. They all fall down. There'll be like three of them laying down. You'll have time to stick one on the unused portion of that and then the ref will have to get if you stick it, send us video proof at you to be bogan@98kupd b o g e n b [e-mail] fired over there and and then we'll make the request through our accounting that our company gives you money because that's how that works. Just go in there and go, hey, I promised you guys would pay here for my stipend. I. I need you to go ahead and give this away. I gave your money away. That's bad. Why are you upset when people do it to you? I don't get it. We got hot releases coming up in just moments. It's 98. It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fee. I've heard enough of this.

[Brett]

Hey Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.

[Byron]

Brett I sure do. It's MMP Guns Customs. MMP Guns is CR creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[Brett]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Byron]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no wait.

[Brett]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscustoms.com.