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John Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
Brett Vesely
Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from AMCO.
Brady Bogan
Let's talk about back to school TLC for your car.
Brett Vesely
Larry, the last thing anyone needs right now is to start the school year with car troubles. Yeah, makes sense.
Brady Bogan
What should people do?
Brett Vesely
Head to your closest amco. We specialize in back to school auto repairs for the busy school season. Plus we have a back to school discount for students and teachers. Yeah, but do you need to make an appointment? Not at all. Just pop into your nearest AMCO or book online. Now that's convenient.
Brady Bogan
Google AMCO for your nearest location. That's AMCO Double A MCO transmissions and.
Brett Vesely
A whole lot more. And remember, AMCO proudly supports Operation Hydration.
John Holmberg
Hey, Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett, I sure do.
Brady Bogan
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John Holmberg
Well, can you do this to my gun?
Brady Bogan
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John Holmberg
Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscustoms.com.
Brett Vesely
Hey, what's up? It's Mo and my friends at the University of Advancing Technology has been ranked the number one best college for computer science for not one, but two years in a row. Which makes total sense because UAT are always on the lookout for those who don't just embrace technology, they live it. From advancing computer science and robotics to cyber security, gaming and artificial intelligence, UAT is where innovation thrives. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution, visit UAT Edu Mo. And don't just study tech, live it. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and doughns.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new Realtor all the time. I do know this though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house, cash as is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1-800-tail now. All right, HMS podcast. Time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Eastside and Tempe at the Improv Catch the always hilarious Carlos Mencia. Funny Marco will be performing his sets downtown at Stand Up Live and at the Desert Ridge Improv. You've got the one and only Annie Letterman entertaining you all week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. That's a lot of Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Wednesday. It's 5:45. This is the morning sickness. My name is John Holmberg. How are you? There's Brady, there's Brett, and there's big Dick Toledo as we celebrate yet another day of Brett's five years. Yesterday we started calling it Cinco to Brett. But a much better idea has come in through a guy on the emails calls it Cinco de Wapo. And I think that's pretty solid too. I think that's where we're gonna go with it for today at least. Cinco de Guapo five years ago, five.
Brady Bogan
Across the morning sickness.
Brett Vesely
And you never know when that's gonna come to an end, my friend. Thanks. Look forward to. Well, everybody's emailing me this texting this morning with the Stern thing. If you're seeing that Howard's not coming back. And I find it almost hysterical. Look, everybody knows. Well, I've been accused. When anyone gets mad at me, they think it's an insult to say you're a poor man's Howard Stern. Which I always think, look, geez, that's not so bad. If you're even thinking about Howard Stern and me, it's. I'm not copying him. But if you think I'm a poor man's Howard Stern, I guess that's not bad. I always equate that back in the day, it's like, ah, he's nothing more than a weak ass Johnny Carson. Well, if I'm reminding you of him at all, I'm doing Something. Right? So Stern is, in my opinion, the best interviewer that's ever had a job doing that. I think him and Mike Wallace, totally separate reasons for. But Stern's always been great. But, you know, like most people, I think it wasn't so much that we grew out of Howard's humor. It just stopped being humor, like, years ago. I don't know what happened. Maybe it's a guy thing. Maybe when you become 60, 64, 5 years old, you. You stop being funny and you start caring about, like, only about politics and weird stuff that, like, just. You feel like the world's passed you by, so you just get mad at the people running it. I think that might be an actual thing because Howard got so political, and before it was just for the sake of the joke, like, everything was. Nothing was off limits, everything. And then a year ago, he says out loud, if you voted for. If you voted for anything, I didn't vote for. I don't want you listening to the show anymore if you don't agree with me 100% across the board, as far as not even, like, topics, just voting, just generalization, tribal stuff. If you're not on my team, at least on the surface, I don't want you to listen. And evidently that had a major effect. There were a lot of cancellations. But I find it hysterical, though, and this is radio and XM ownerships and stuff like that, that they act like they're. I don't know that there's no other option for Howard now. It's a. Probably a blessing for him. I mean, if he wants to keep going. Howard Stern's podcast, although less interesting than ever because of his mental swing, he goes on and just interviews everybody on a podcast. He gets everything that. I mean, he's. He just quits. He's 71 years old. I don't know why he wants, like, Larry King. Yeah. I don't get why people want to keep doing that. 71 seems like, and I guess maybe to just take care of the other people on a show and stuff like that. But I can promise you this. If you boys aren't settled by the time I'm done, I'm not going to think about you one second. When I'm done, I'm done. That's it. And that's, you know, you should. You're an adult. You can figure it out from there. And I, you know, I'll. I'll definitely try to help, but, yeah, they act like when they're, oh, Stern show's canceled. No, it's not. It's just gonna move. It'll move off a platform that is, is, you know, didn't really make the waves that they thought it would when it came out. They time the radio was freaking out when satellites showed up.
Brady Bogan
It's over.
Brett Vesely
It's over. It was over. And the big move that dumb radio executives who were still in charge of things, by the way, and every one of them should have been fired for this, was XM forced terrestrial radio to invest millions and millions of dollars into hd. I mean, radio always complains, it's always known as a cheap business, always complains it didn't have any money for anything. Suddenly forced to buy hd, everything. And then what you guys may or may not know is each radio station then became seven radio stations. There were seven KUPDs, seven KDKB's, which was like San Francisco exploded. There was seven. Seven of everything. Seven KTARS, seven mountains. And those idiots didn't think for a second, oh, there aren't enough people to do 7 radio. We have to, we have to program them. We have to put people on them to have them make any money. There aren't enough advertisers to buy seven radio stations. And so it just sat there on.
Brady Bogan
Top of having the proper radio.
Brett Vesely
Oh, yeah. And then, and then, yeah, a lot.
Brady Bogan
Of cars wouldn't pick up the hd.
Brett Vesely
Rely on everybody else to go out and buy a HD radio.
Brady Bogan
Yep.
Brett Vesely
And that was in order to combat just the volume of stations on xm. So radio got into a dumb battle, surprise, surprise, with xm. And again, these are the. The very same people that are in charge of radio today are still in charge that made that choice. And that's when the whole thing should have gotten flamed out. Not one person stood up and said, this is the worst idea of all time.
Brady Bogan
On steroids from Amazon.
Brett Vesely
It was horribly stupid. And whoever stood up and said it was dumb probably got fired by the people who are still here today. Who would do it again, by the way. They would do it again. They just. They don't get it. But yeah, so, I mean, Howard will go do a podcast if he wants to. It's not over. And then, you know, that's the glory. That's the curse and glory of today is that you can just start your own show. You don't have to have anybody hire you. You don't have to have anything. You just do it yourself. It's a laptop and a couple microphones and it is basically neutered management of all media and entertainment. And you can See the benefits, right? You can see it. Yeah, I know. It's not such a bad plan, really. If I weren't so lazy, I'd have done it myself. Just want to pay your insurance. That's the big thing. That's scary. Then you start getting into that. Is that any fun? Running a business out of your house where Brett and Brady have to come over every day? Ugh. And you guys aren't going to leave anytime soon. I'm going to listen to you afterwards, build another bathroom. Yeah, I got to build a whole new bathroom because Brady had used the toilet the wrong way. And then you'd be buying toilets every couple days.
Brady Bogan
Expensive.
Brett Vesely
Well, it's too much. Just let Hubbard piss me off the whole time and do it. Yeah, but I just. You know, Stern show was. You know, it is what it was, I think to discount how brilliant and amazing that thing was for at least. I don't. What would you say? 30 years?
John Holmberg
He went over in 86 to XM, but I think he came around in, like, 82.
Brett Vesely
Oh, yeah. Well, he got national prominence in the early 80s, and then probably, like, 2011 or 12, you started to go, not sure he's doing the same stuff. Interviews are still amazing. NBC blew it when they didn't make him the host of the Tonight show, but evidently his. His show is going to be stopped. Actually, Cranston makes a great point. When your dick stops working, your anger gets directed at other things. Maybe that's it. Maybe when you stop slowing her down. Yeah. And you start having more estrogen than you do testosterone, you start becoming an emotional broad. And maybe that. Because that's kind of what he's become. It's like, I haven't listened to him in a long time, but just clips and things. I'm like, this isn't the Howard Stern I knew when I was in college and excited for him when he came here in the mid-90s when Phoenix got it finally. I'm like, this is great. I worked at a radio station and listened. Then he wasn't there, and I listened to him, and it made the morning guys furious. And I'm like, you're not as good. It was Jim Sharp and Ted Simons. Ted Simons works for PBS now, and Jim Sharp works at KTAR News. Do you think they were gonna be funny together? They weren't. Not even a little bit.
Brady Bogan
They did a couple of pies in the face on.
Brett Vesely
Did they? I don't remember that. Well, that would have been their best day. And I liked both of them. If you don't count Ted. And you know, but they just weren't going to be. So I listened all the time. But yeah, it's a hundred million dollar contract XM's basically. So then what does XM do? They. They gotta. That's gonna be close to them. Just kind of like, I guess they just go. I was in the NFL Network and MLB every once in a while on xm, but that's the only reason I have.
Brady Bogan
Which could be changing up maybe a little. I don't know.
Brett Vesely
The NFL Network just got bought by espn. Yeah. Everything kind of stinks. And everybody wants to blame Howard Stern's wife. That's true too.
John Holmberg
Well, she's been there since like 08 or something like that. So I mean she's been there a minute now.
Brett Vesely
She's been there for a while. Yeah.
John Holmberg
So you can't really blame her.
Brady Bogan
And how is the first time I'm.
Brett Vesely
Sticking up for abroad? But yeah, no, you can stick up for abroad sometimes they're all right. Brett. I was gonna get Carri.
Brady Bogan
And doesn't he. Does he do it out of his house?
Brett Vesely
Well, he. I don't know if he still does for a while. He wouldn't leave. Yeah, he wouldn't leave the Hampton. I just became kind of unrelatable around that time.
John Holmberg
But I, I. Springsteen. He's just like us.
Brett Vesely
He's. Yeah, he was like us. He spoke for the common man. He was mad at. Like he found celebrity to be the. The crazy part about it is, and I say this after I went to a therapist two days ago because I just a bitch about this place for an hour and a half. That's essentially all I did. But it was. Yeah, he used to be the guy that said the things we thought about how silly being a celebrity was. Like, he mocked celebrity. And deep down, after he started to go to a therapist and like got in his head, he realized that's really all he ever wanted to be was there. Like he wanted acceptance from celebrities. It's weird. We're eulogizing him like he's dead. But it's a strange thing because you can hear that transition. When he started to. He used to make fun of all those people go on those talk shows, make fun of the talk show he was actually on. And you would love it because it was. Now he's like, oh, Jimmy Kimmel and I are.
Brady Bogan
Then he finally got into the crowd. He got it.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
And invited into the clubhouse.
Brett Vesely
Once he was in, he changed. Like he definitely did. I haven't heard anything from Stern show where people are like, you gotta hear this. This is hilarious. What I have read or seen or heard, when people send me anything is some asinine, crazy political comment. And I don't know, I. You guys can. Brett, I look at you because you're probably going to be more apt to be in my future than Brady. No offense, Brad, but you're not going to make it. The. If I start doing that kind of stuff, even as friends, like John, you're doing that thing that uninteresting. All you talk about is politics. I watched two guys in a parking lot at my dentist's office. I didn't hear the whole conversation, but I walked by and two guys probably in their late 60s, and one was saying, you just can't gerrymander. It's wrong. And I'm like, how can you be fired up in 110 degree day outside about gerrymandering? How if it ever happens, hit me in the back of the head with a stick. Because if we're ever talking about gerrymandering, not getting paid for it, and standing in a parking lot upset about like, literally mad at your friends about Texas gerrymandering, kill me. Just kill me right there on the spot. I'm no longer an interesting person at all. I am boring. But they've been gerrymandering. Did you hear yourself? I have. The last time I heard that word and cared about it was on a test in eighth grade. And like, that's a funny word, gerrymandering. Okay, I'm never gonna have to deal with this in my life. Sure are. And I'm gonna get emails for him. You know how important it is.
Brady Bogan
We don't.
Brett Vesely
These poetry. I'm like, stop. You can't be this mad at gerrymandering. Live your life. If you know they'll figure it out. They're gonna. They're gonna find ways around your ass.
Brady Bogan
I think a little bit of the change of perception of things that would bother you at a certain age as you get older. Yeah, you learn to almost deal with it. Like one. As you get older, you feel like I don't have the say anymore.
Brett Vesely
I don't think you have ever had that. I think you've always been. It's a good thing. I think you've always been a person that's like, I'm not gonna let that bother me. Even things that probably should.
Brady Bogan
Well, even if I'm telling you, like saying when you ask Brett, go, Brett. If I ever do this, do this, a lot of times your. The Reaction to the friend of saying, hey, you're. What are you doing?
Brett Vesely
Oh, no, I'm not saying verbally. I told him to hit me in the back of the head with a two by four end.
Brady Bogan
I'm saying on the verbal side of it, usually you'll get snapped at back because that's the reaction from all of.
Brett Vesely
Us because you've lost your mind. And that's when Brett has to come in and hit you with a 2x4. Because if you're going to fight somebody, that's. That's basically giving you the best advice anyone can give you, which is, oh, my God, you're dull. Now. That's the worst thing you can say to a human being. In my opinion. If you're dull, that's the worst thing you can possibly be as a person. So if Brent leans over and gives me. Because Brett's very good at my. He's my. He's my bullpen guy. He's my pitching coach. So if I'm in a situation where something I look and I'm like, I'm with a dull one, Brett usually gives me the sign. I give him a little let's go to the pen. He comes over and saves me. If I'm ever doing it. Lean over and go. We're hitting that dull button pretty hard right now, boss. I think, well, maybe. Maybe we should take that two by four out of the car just in case. I'm like, am I doing it? Am I being okay? That's the worst insult you can give me. I'm ugly. I know that. That's easy, big nose. Yeah, sure. Okay too. I'm not, but okay. Hit me with it. You call me, say, man, you dull. That stings. Being dull is.
Brady Bogan
That's a fear.
Brett Vesely
Oh, it's not even a fear. It's like. It's a. It's a terrifying horror movie of. It's not just little. Because I see dull people and I'm like, God, how did you do it? Like, it's just. It's dull. Like, have an interesting. It doesn't necessarily have to be constantly entertaining. It's not tap dancing. But don't be dull. Don't be an energy vampire.
John Holmberg
Oh, got enough of those.
Brett Vesely
There are plenty of those living in the world. Gerrymandering as a topic absolutely is dull. Even if you find a person who is interested in it, you're both being dull. You Both need Brett's 2 by 4 Cinco Dewapo. It's coming your way. One of these days. Hitching the dull Head. But you gotta think that Howard Stern's career, if it's going to end this way, if this is the last of it at the end of the year, is going to be judged off the last 10 years because we don't have that. Rather than what he actually really did do.
Brady Bogan
I think he'll probably end up doing, like, similar Seinfeld or what Letterman's doing interviews every now and then.
Brett Vesely
He should. He should have been the host of Tonight Show. He should have absolutely changed the game of late night television. But he would have gotten political, too. I'm with Cranston. Cranston, you're onto something. His dick stopped working probably at a certain age the way he wanted it to, and he just. He got angry and he started getting mad at the tv, started yelling at tv.
John Holmberg
That seems like, you know, people go to, like, Stern show or whatever to unplug from the political thing. Yeah, of course we make fun of it here and there, but, like, we don't, you know, just. We don't dig our heels in on anything.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And seem to be, you know, opinions are bad for business, as far as that can be, because one side's gonna hate you.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. And I don't mind that, but everyone has one. Yeah, I look. Strong opinions. Strong, interesting opinions.
John Holmberg
Yes.
Brett Vesely
But. But politically bashing someone else for not thinking the same way. And I'll bash it for not if you're a dick about it. Like that one dude that emailed over and said I was a white hating f tard. I'm like, that's not the way to start a conversation. You can go after individuals can definitely go off. I mean, that's a thing. But I'm not going to take a whole group of people and say, I did this. And if you don't like it, leave. And it's just my vote. That's it. And there's no possible way you can agree with every single thing a politician says. If you. If you do, you're. You're dumber than anybody you're mad at. I voted for this guy. And that means nothing he does can be questioned, and nothing he does can be wrong. And if you question it, I don't want you in my life. I have to live in an insulated bubble. I mean, this is the truth. I don't think without Stern, the LGBTQ community exists the way it does today. They thought he bashed him the whole time. He brought that whole community to light by making lesbians okay and joking around with gays as much as he did. And like, just. And then slowly but surely, it became part of his show, and it was, like, as acceptable comedy. Kind of let it into that guy's fun, and then look at what's going on. If it wasn't for Stern and kind of Jerry Springer, half of Bravo network isn't there. All the stuff that we tolerate, it wouldn't have happened as quick. I think he. He made their movement go faster through just spotlighting it, even if it wasn't in the most positive way all the time. I think that dude, the gay community owes him a ton because he was like, I'll put you on the air. No one else would. Everyone was just afraid of it. He'd put him on there, and whether he made fun of it or not, he did stuff no one else did when it came to that. So there's a lot of things you look back on, and you're like, man, that dude, for all it was. For all it was crazy at the time about it. He helped advance a lot more things in different ways. Rather than just bark and yell. He made it fun. He made it fun to have two gay guys on your, you know, party. And then he would, you know, tease him and stuff about things we weren't on, and he'd ask questions nobody else had asked. And then that just ended. And then it all became about, you know what? I just. I can't believe anybody's listening to this. That doesn't vote the same way I do. I just can't. Look, Beth and I had a talk last night. We had 52 cats on the bed, and I thought, you know, this is the way it's supposed to be. In other words, if you voted against anything I believe in, you're out. Where's the fun in that?
Brady Bogan
Went all in on that last election for sure.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. Robert Gregg says, think about Howard Stern. He did it all. He was great. Interviews are awesome. But then he never thought he was going to get old, and he started flipping the narrative against everything that made him great. Yeah, that's the weird thing. It feels like. It feels like today's Howard would fight yesterday's Howard. Like, he'd be standing outside with picket.
John Holmberg
Signs, and Willie Will says Stern used whores and sluts to get popular. As soon as that stopped, we stopped watching, kind of.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, maybe it's sort of like male menopause. Your dick stops working, you start getting mad at gerrymandering. God, I don't look forward to that at all.
Brady Bogan
You got to focus your attention to.
Brett Vesely
Something else, or you just don't Your body just goes, yeah, this sucks. You know what they shouldn't be doing? Drawing new lines in districts in Texas while I stand here in Scottsdale at the dentist's office in a parking lot, 111 degrees, and yell @ my buddy. I just don't. I don't know how that conversation goes from dentist office to parking lot, where it's like, all right, that's it. We're in a fight over gerrymandering. Like, stop it. Go have some pizza, have a beer, talk about sports the way it used to be, smile, shake hands, and leave. Gerrymandering is not a fun conversation at all for anyone ever.
Brady Bogan
But then you hear about stuff like the villages and these senior communities that are.
Brett Vesely
And all they're doing is boning. Yeah, well, they invented pills for them. But you still.
Brady Bogan
You think that would change?
Brett Vesely
Yeah, but it's. You know, it's the origin of that. Your dick still doesn't work. Yeah. You know, it's still not what it was, and it's not giving you the guidance it used to. It's like having your therapist die. It's like, where'd you go, buddy used to always be around? I'm tired. Oh, maybe if you give me a little cocaine and you give him a dick. Cocaine, a Viagra, and he comes to Life for, like, 25 minutes, and then he dies again. It's like having a Teddy Ruxpin. It's almost like having to put batteries in your penis. Ah, the batteries are dead. All right, I'll be right back. And you put batteries in. It works for a little bit more prepping involved.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I'll throw an energizer in. I'm in.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, and it's kind of. Oh, look, while it's still working, I highly recommend it. Just whacking off is great. Lives up with the pill. However, deep down, when you know it's broken, your whole life is no good. It's. It's just Brady's. God's way of saying it's time to go. If you got to put batteries in every time you use the remote, you'd probably start reading. Sickness medicate.
John Holmberg
Hey, Byron, I was looking@mmpguns.com's website. You have everything, and the prices are incredible.
Brady Bogan
Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys, and more. The best part is, if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.
John Holmberg
Wait, there's no backorders?
Brett Vesely
Nope.
Brady Bogan
We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.
John Holmberg
Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP. Guns.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Brett Vesely
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John Holmberg
Reading.
Brett Vesely
I'm not gonna read it. Yeah, it's time to start reading things and focusing on gerrymandering and things like that. But if you had to think about it, if you had to put batteries in the remote every day you wanted to watch tv, you'd be like, I'm not doing this every time. And you get up and you do stuff around the house and you get mad that things used to do, you can't do anymore. Cranston's onto something. That's a powerful statement, Cranston. Well done. But I don't know, you know, they act like, they act like xm. So Howard's worried about it. Uh, he'll be if he wants to keep going. I don't think it'll have the impact that it would 15 years ago if XM decided not to pay him. If Howard had a podcast 15 years ago, it would have been, it would have been Rogan.
John Holmberg
Like, wasn't he a hundred million?
Brett Vesely
100 million. That's the new contract's number. And he had stock in XM. And I mean he, he bamboozled XM back in 2005 when they gave him all the stock options. And once his show started, it like exploded for a minute. And he sold all of his stuff. Sold it right away. I mean, they didn't count on him to do that. And he made like $187 million in a day. That's pretty good move.
John Holmberg
Says his current contract is 100 million per year.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, but that's not bad.
John Holmberg
Nice change.
Brett Vesely
That's getting it done. And you know, you know, look, I'm 71 years old. I don't have to keep Breadle Juice and Red Robin around anymore. Bubba Bastard can go find a job. I don't know at Taco Bell. I like do what you do. It's interesting though. So congratulations to a great career. Except for the last eight or nine years.
John Holmberg
Are they losing subscribers? I haven't looked at their numbers or anything.
Brett Vesely
I mean, is it after the. Evidently. And I don't know how true it is. After he said the thing about if he voted for Trump, leave. I don't want you to listen anymore. There was a massive fall off. Oh, wow. According to an Internet thing I read, actually just even this morning after is like after he started to say, just go away if you don't agree with me 100%. Which is exactly the opposite of what he used to be. And people did because that's, that's, that's a dividing line. That's that political dividing line.
Brady Bogan
And the struggle with it as far as XM is if it wasn't for the new car sales.
Brett Vesely
Oh yeah. Which gives you that they added in.
Brady Bogan
Six months or a year and then.
Brett Vesely
Automatically renew the re upping is not. Yeah, well, accent was a be.
Brady Bogan
That's, that's the battle.
Brett Vesely
XM is a bunch of bad radio executives that got hired there. Everybody who failed in radio ended up doing xm. It was no like superstars of radio going, I'm, I'm jumping ship. It was a bunch of dudes who couldn't like didn't get gigs here anymore. And some of them were okay and some of them weren't, but.
Brady Bogan
And the original thing was, hey, we're going deeper in music.
Brett Vesely
No commercials.
Brady Bogan
No commercials.
Brett Vesely
And now they have to do all of it anyway. They don't do it like radio does, but still. Anyway, what are you gonna do? This guy says you did take on a group of people, the WNBA and all soccer fans and Ravens fans. Yeah, but my way's right. See, that's the difference. That's. Howard was way too big a brush. I'm pinpointing the people I hate. I know for a fact, and that's my flaw, that if you're a Ravens fan, we probably can't be friends. You're like a summer home. If you're a Ravens fan, I can tolerate you from like April till mid August. And then we start seeing football come back and I see you in that ugly ass purple uniform with that dumb buzzard on it. That's poorly drawn Hanna Barbera. I can't be friends with you and you probably feel the same about me. So let's just say what it is beforehand. It's like a bumble date or a coffee date. And you sit down and you're like, so what do you do? I love the Ravens and children. Like, this isn't going to work. Like, you know, immediately talk to you in March? No. Probably never going to see you again. I don't even want to deal with it. God forbid your team wins a Super Bowl. I kill myself. So I know that if you come, if I look, if you go on a date. Toledo. I always think of him with those coffee dates, those five minute dates. Most brilliant idea of all time. You sit down, you just get the first couple things out of the way. So what'd you do last night? We went over to the Mercury in Connecticut. Sun, game check, we're done.
Brady Bogan
That's great.
Brett Vesely
Why? Why can't I? I. We're just not. It's not gonna work out, hun. Cause I'm gonna immediately start saying things that you are gonna hate. Are you a huge WNBA fan? I think it's the most talent you'll ever see in a basketball court. Oh my God, I gotta go. This isn't gonna work. And you know right away, soccer fans, if somebody. If I met a guy who's like, I'm the biggest. All I like to do is think about soccer and talk. If you watch Wrexham and like Wrexham's entertaining. If it wasn't for soccer, I watched Ted Lasso. Other than the soccer parts. It was fun. I love soccer. We can't be friends. You've got different interests.
Brady Bogan
So that's what that scarf is.
Brett Vesely
Why are you wearing a scarf? It's July. Cause the Rising are playing. Yeah, but you don't have to dress like you're in Tottenham. Put on a T shirt and shorts like the rest of us and make your own traditions. This is my beef with the wnba. They keep trying to do things the NBA, to have your own world. When I see those guys at rising games, it's 114 and they're in scarves. It's hilarious. Morons. Okay, so in my own stern way, if you like the WNBA a lot, or soccer or the Ravens. Yeah. Go ahead and. Go ahead and get the. Get the. Off my radio program. You don't belong here.
John Holmberg
I guess we're not gonna lose anybody now.
Brett Vesely
You're gonna. No, we're gonna lose nobody because I'm picking on things that don't have popular. It's not like I'm saying, hey, everybody who loved American Idol? No, it's. If you listen to Joe Rogan, don't listen to this show. I hate you. Like, that's just. That's way too broad a brush to make. You're gonna lose a lot of people. My enemies are everyone's enemies. I make enemies with things that are already known to be really, really products. The wnba, soccer, and Ravens. I'm not losing any fans. If I do good, those two Ravens guys can go blow each other at Papago park with their priest. I don't know what you do when you're a Ravens fan. I assume, I don't know sex with people who don't want it with you. That's what I would assume. I'm gonna say it's rape, but I'm gonna say the person under you isn't happy. You're a gross Ravens fan. Browns fans are right behind it. But I find you amusing. I think you're funny because you guys are just clueless. At least Ravens fans support something that has a chance. Browns fan, and you're proud of it kind of life are you living? This is terrifying. Yeah. Yeah. You're Browns fan. Your friendship with anyone who isn't a Browns fan is basically a pity. You're. You're kind of a.
John Holmberg
Well, they're special.
Brett Vesely
You're. Yeah. You're mentally challenged. We feel sorry for you, so we're friends with you.
Brady Bogan
That's how they bond.
Brett Vesely
Well, Browns fans can bond all they want, but I'm saying how Browns fans have friends who aren't Browns fans. We just think of you as Caleb from Shriners. Like, it's like, oh, don't be mean to him. He's going through enough. And they did it. They browned again this week. I don't know if you saw that. They browned again and signed Tyler Huntley. They've got five quarterbacks. Six. Because DeSean is still on the roster. And none of them are good. They got six quarterbacks, and Joe Flacco is still going to start. That's. Look, how can you be mean to a Browns fan? He's got to live with that.
Brady Bogan
I thought they announced that. Kirby told me, hey, shoulder starting.
Brett Vesely
I'm like, well, because everybody else is hurt. No, because Flacco isn't going to start. Kenny Pickett's hurt. Dylan Gabriel has been called the worst quarterback in the history of camps. Like, they're saying he's not ready for the pros in any way, shape or form. And then desean's on the. On the beach. Cause he's, you know, his legs hurt still. So they went out and got another guy. Like, let's try someone else. Like, didn't you draft two quarterbacks? Yeah, we struck out on both of those, and we know it already. Like, oh, my God. You can't be mean to Browns fans. You've got a safe place here. I'm going to tease you, but you're used to that. Browns fan is a guy who's impotent in his teens. Like, he has to use Viagra in his 20s. And it's still not good. He's still stuffing. Yeah. You can alienate certain groups, like disgusting, criminal Ravens fans. And every sport, like, you have yours. Like, you look at packers fans, but you understand they support the Packers. It's like, that's pretty good. Yeah.
John Holmberg
I mean, you're the one that's the one every morning.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. You're the one in that division that people like, why do this to yourself? I know they haven't been. They were good once.
John Holmberg
Super bowl shuffle.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
John Holmberg
40 years later.
Brett Vesely
Prior to that, they were good in the 50s. Track record's not great. Nope. You get hopeful being a Chicago fan. You got one. Brady's a bungle.
John Holmberg
That's right. Yeah.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. And right now, it's hard to tell. People being a Bungles fan is stupid, but it is. I mean, anybody who supports that. I mean, anybody who supports that uniform by itself is nuts. The gear that they sell you is the. The ugliest thing I've ever seen. You look like a Spirit Halloween store every day. Hilarious. There's a lot of people who are wrong, but they're tolerable. Ravens fans, WNBA Fervent supporters. They can off. Stern was right about that. If you like that stuff, don't listen. I don't want you here. It's disgusting. Get out of here. Am I right, Red Robin?
Brady Bogan
Yum.
Brett Vesely
Am I right, Brell? Juice? Bummer. Bastard. Nah, he's not here. He's looking for his D anyway. And of course, to all my horrible friends who got up early to do this to remind me that's the 80th anniversary of when we first knocked Japan down with a bomb. I had like, seven or eight. I woke up to them, like, these dudes waited for midnight last night to hit me with happy anniversaries, which in a weird way, we should celebrate as Americans. The nukes that we threw in Japan, when we gave them a little sunshine, it calmed the world down immediately. Now watch a couple of documentaries, and you watch some things and realize we didn't have to do it. It was more just kind of like, this war is going to end. But watch this Russia. See what we made. And then to scare other countries into thinking, oh, man, they got good.
Brady Bogan
Stepped it up to the next level.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, we did it. And we didn't. We certainly didn't have to do two of them, especially because when you. I didn't realize, like, on August 8th, we did it again to Nagasaki. And it wasn't the original target. It was too cloudy to bomb the original target. So they just went, there's a city over there. Just throw it at that.
John Holmberg
Close enough.
Brett Vesely
That's. There's Japs down there. Pretty sure that's still Japan, right? Oh, yes, sir. All right. Yeah, throw it at that.
Brady Bogan
And to learn a little bit after that, like, on the documentaries or whatever, they talk about it like, we don't need to do this.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. Oh, no.
Brady Bogan
There's a lot of people are like, hey, that was good. That was good.
Brett Vesely
But Russia was marching all the way over China. They're coming in. We'll help you out with Japan. And they're walking over there. Won't be there in a minute. We gotta get there before we're done. Let's close the door on this thing. Yeah. Give us another day or two. We'll be there. Right. It's August 3rd, and, like, almost there. They stopped off for some Chinese, and they did. And then we're like, we got this. Don't worry about it. And then from a distance, they see some Sunshine fall on Japan. And Russia's like, damn it, they got one. Well, we're still coming. We'll take care of the south end of Japan. All right, get that second one. Throw it at him, too.
Brady Bogan
80 years ago, and we've had, you know, 79 years of threats after that.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, well, I mean, pretty. Pretty memorable. Pretty close go. Pretty memorable. Tick to go. Remember that. We still got them. So it's a good threat. It's a good threat.
Brady Bogan
Also.
Brett Vesely
Happy 80th anniversary to America. All these people that are screaming America, America all the time. You should be celebrating those bombs. So what? The human cost. It's something we should throw our hands in the air and say, we won. We do it for, like, the Civil War, the Revolution. Those were equally as bloody and nasty.
Brady Bogan
It's also the 135th anniversary of the electric chair first used on this day.
Brett Vesely
The first time they used it 135 years ago. It's been a long time. But I watched a thing online about how they tested that, and they would strap dead animals to it. And then they tried a cow, and it did not go well. It was a good barbecue. The cow didn't know what was happening. And they had at him, and they kind of, like, had him standing there being a cow and stuff, and they just put that thing on his head and strapped him up and turned it on. And that thing just goes. It didn't. It was. They didn't have video, but it was just screaming and yelling.
John Holmberg
Percy didn't wet the sponge or anything.
Brett Vesely
Roll on one. And the cows looking around like, what I do. I didn't murder anybody. Why is this happening? Just to see how fast they could kill something huge? Because they figured at the time, if we can knock a cow down with this thing, didn't they do a person heartbeat?
Brady Bogan
Tesla or whatever was an elephant.
Brett Vesely
Did they do an elephant Tesla, invent the electric chair?
Brady Bogan
No, they're zapping. Running the electricity sale.
Brett Vesely
Oh, they used to test. Yeah. It's disgusting. Everything they did, they try to blow up.
Brady Bogan
So it was rolled on a guy named William Kemmler. He was an ax murderer. Killed his girlfriend with an ax.
Brett Vesely
There you go.
Brady Bogan
Auburn, New York. And they botched it. Kind of. They had to zap him twice.
Brett Vesely
And back then, they didn't care, you know, they were just mad at that guy enough to do it. And botching it meant that dude just sat there and sizzled while they. You know.
Brady Bogan
Did they know to bag the head?
Brett Vesely
Yeah. They probably had a learning curve there. Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Because I don't know, because you always hear that eyeballs. The fires.
Brett Vesely
Eyeballs leak out. Yeah. It doesn't like your whole. It cooks. Your eyeballs go. And they gush out. That's why they put those patches over their eyes now and then. Bag it.
John Holmberg
Oh, man.
Brett Vesely
Anyway, yeah, it's kind of gross, but, yeah, they test. Back in the day, they used to test, you know, find the closest animal and test it. They did all that stuff. They're disgusting. Our forefathers or grandparents were miserable pricks.
John Holmberg
It's invented by a dentist.
Brett Vesely
Wow. Well, they were sadists back then. What the hell was he trying to invent, is the question. I don't know.
John Holmberg
I'm just reading up on it now.
Brett Vesely
He took that colander out of his kitchen and strapped it up to the TV and just started to blow everybody up. Anyway. Human humanity, it's a quality thing. Guy said, john, I can't believe you did that this morning. Wnba, the Phoenix Rising, the Ravens. You're gonna lose at least 47 listeners this station. Cancer. But you might be right. You might be right. You don't want to. You don't want to lose those Ravens fans. I assume there's no Ravens fans listening anyway, because we speak in. Well, other than Brady. We speak in complete sentences, and we maybe Ravens fans are like Brady Wright. Me, like. And a lot of times I don't.
Brady Bogan
That's why we keep them.
Brett Vesely
I also don't know that they have a radio in the child predator wing of jail, so there aren't any Ravens fans probably listening anyway. Unless they've got one there. It's on family radio because all Ravens. All Ravens fans are child predators because that's why they have that weird Hanna Barbera cartoon dolour in the chillin's cartoon helmet. And then their spokesperson, Lamar Jackson. I just want big trust. I have M's and bi's and going to family. No one can understand you, Lamar. No one knows what you're saying. Boy, I hate those Ravens. Hate them. Hate them. Tell people that if they like the Ravens, they can leave. Yeah, he's right. Howard's right. If you're a Ravens fan, go listen to Beth. No. She's too manly for you.
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. When the best PR your city's ever had are the Ravens and the Wire, your city sucks the Wire. And there's a documentary called Sinners really spotlights Baltimore being an awesome place. Baltimore sucks. End of story. Smells like brackish water and crab meat. And that's just the women. I go on. Somebody just asked what's the worst of the three. Wnba, soccer or the Ravens? There's no question it's the Ravens. It's disgusting. Close second is soccer, and WNBA is the third worst in that group. So there's a step in the right direction there. Wnba, by the way. Wnba third dildo one hit Sophie last night during the Sparks Fever game in Los Angeles. Hit her in the leg. And to their credit, they laughed it off. Sophie was giggling, had the time of her life, got the dildo off the court, never mentioned it again.
John Holmberg
So she was laughing.
Brett Vesely
She was having a time, Dave. It was great fun. Get banged in the leg by a dildo. And the announcers were go, no, they're gonna have to deal with it. And I'm sure they've had meetings like, if a dildo flies at the girls, don't bring it up. And cameramen, no close ups. Everybody knows what it is when it flies. Now we know. So they got hit again and again. I go back to it if you're gonna do that. Throw it away from the girls side of the court. They're not using. You have plenty of opportunities during a game to hit the half that they're not on. And make sure you can get it there. Because if you hit someone in the crowd, that's just mean. They didn't deserve it. And again, happy anniversary to all the weirdos out there who are, and I'm one of them. I think that one of the best things America did was drop those bombs. Awesome.
John Holmberg
I said Ravens fans aren't that bad.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, they are compared to others. Well, who's his says I'll tolerate a Ravens fan. Have you met a 49ers fan? Well, that's the West Coast Ravens. Yeah, I'm with you on that. Although at least they're pretty. They're the worst. They're either gay or Mexican. Well, I don't know if that has anything to do. Come on.
Brady Bogan
Travis makes a great point there.
Brett Vesely
And then he said, what's em? Well, here's where we're dealing with the intelligence. His next sentence is, what's a more worse combo than that? Your sentence structure is a more worse combo. Go hot. He's a Seahawks. Oh, he's one of Toledo's players. He's one of them lib cucks up there from Seattle. Can't get enough T Mobile and Microsoft in his life. What's more worser than that? That sentence. Mexican gays. Jesus Christ. You hit the pinata and a bunch of hit you in the face. Yuck.
Brady Bogan
I just want to Throw a fish.
Brett Vesely
At him, he's gonna huck giant salmon in their direction. Idiots. Yeah. Don't fire off how dumb another group's fan base is with the phrase, what's more worse than that? I'm not perfect for that, but I like those sentences. Crush me. That's hilarious. Gay and Mexican. You can't be mad at Niners fans for being gay and Mexican. You just have to. Well, I guess you can, because it's hard to argue. You go to the Cardinals Niners game and it's a lot of Mexicans. They're not the gay ones. You go in San Francisco and it is just super duper gay. And because it's San Francisco, it's assumed when you meet a gay person, if they do like football, they're going to like the Niners. That's just. That's the first thing you think they're going to say. Like, when Michael and Troy told me they were Broncos fans. Well, Michael did. Troy just goes, yay, sports ball. But Michael, Michael. Michael has them all dressed up in Broncos gear. And they came over when the Steelers played the Broncos, and Troy had orange shorts on and a blue shirt with orange dots on, a collared shirt like he was going golfing. But it was color appropriate to Broncos. And Michael had a Broncos. Like it was a nice shirt and a pair of slacks. And then they said, hey, we've got some friends coming by. Do you mind if they come over? I'm like, no. And I remember Skip Katera, who's an 80 year old heterosexual white, and the place when the gays showed up, there were like eight of them and they were dressed to the nines in this football thing. Like they had trouble walking on my tile floors because their shoes were so slippery. They were Spartacus from Birdcage. Skip looks at me and he goes, what the is this place turning into? And I'm like, it's just one game. It's just this one. He goes, jesus Christ. And then Skip goes, they smell delicious. Like, they do. They're an amazing smelling group. Skip loved it. Flitting around in the backyard, watching the dogs play. No interest in the game at all. Sports ball. And we won, so home run. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Wait a minute.
Brett Vesely
What then? God knows what happened when they went across the street and stripped off all that velvet because a lot of them were wearing it.
Brady Bogan
A lot of other smells.
Brett Vesely
Oh, there was some smell. Look, they masked it at first. Everything smelled good at first. I'm sure it blended with something that I'd would have not necessarily liked as much. Let's get a Wake up song 585-9800 a good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 Kup Wake Up.
Brady Bogan
Hey, it's not weird.
Brett Vesely
It's pretty cool actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.
John Holmberg
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Brady Bogan
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Brady Bogan
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Brett Vesely
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John Holmberg
They're about the same amount of time, so you're stuck either way.
Brett Vesely
Damn it. Somebody just asked, would you rather go to a Ravens game or a 311 concert? I can go to a Ravens game and boo and hate and get enjoyment out of that. I can't at a 311 concert because it's just infuriating.
Brady Bogan
I would see the Ravens game would be.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, it would be more fun.
Brady Bogan
You like the game?
Brett Vesely
I like football. Yeah. There's. There's one thing about it, and I don't know, they're playing a team I can root for because.
John Holmberg
Not the Steelers.
Brett Vesely
I'll root for anybody who plays them. Yeah, that's a tough one. That's. Yeah. Some guy says, have you ever listened to 98 Rock in Baltimore? That's the crappy Raven station. He goes, for a while, they had good guys. And he said, but it's just been a. I said, are the. Are the hosts that would make that probably be the best way to talk to people of Baltimore is to have a couple of incredibly intelligent Baltimore onions. I think if you live in Baltimore, you're a Baltimore on. Right? Is that how that works? You're a Baltimorean?
Brady Bogan
Yes, that's.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, you're Baltimorean. They even call themselves that. But. Yeah. And so I said, just a couple of retarded guys. And he goes, you know what's funny? He goes, the whole time since they've been hiring guys, it's just one, you know, another pair of retards, and they come in and do another. But you gotta imagine how hard that, like, radio executives are idiots, all of them, across the board. Zero wins on that. But there is one guy I feel sorry for who is a suit in radio, and that is the guy in Baltimore that's got to try to find people that want to work and live in Baltimore. There's no possible way you can drag me out of any other. Maybe Cleveland, but other than that, like, you have to find a Toledo morning show and have it. Want to move to Baltimore, which is maybe the only place worse than Toledo. I'd live in Tucson. No, it's tough, man. Baltimore and Tucson. I'd live in Nagasaki 80 years ago today, waiting for two days from now before I live in Baltimore. If I had a time machine and they're like, you could go back to Baltimore or Nagasaki. Baltimore 10 days ago, Nagasaki 80 years ago. But you gotta stay there for a weekend. Starting today, August 6th, where would you go? I'm like, Nagasaki. At least something fun's gonna happen. Probably smells better. Even after the. You know, the thing. It happens. Yeah. People are. You know, people are all on the Stern things. Very strange. But when you start talking about gerrymandering and being dull and topics that Stern went off, went crazy, and we brought up sports. So hate things that. That are okay. It's okay to hate certain things. Stern told everybody who voted for Trump to not listen anymore. And so, you know, in, like, very wisely, I only go after people who do things everyone hates, like being a Ravens fan. That guy says, oh, John, if there's a West Coast Ravens, it isn't the Niners. It's the Seahawks. Ugly colors, cartoon bird logo. City of Sasquatch, broads and libcocks. San Francisco's got a lot of gays, but at least they own it. Seattle pretends they're not gay. Why do you think they love their 12th man so much? It has nothing to do with loudness. Victor from SoCal. Go Niners. See, now this is. This is the kind of hate I can get behind. Tribal sports hate. That's the fun of it all. Browns. This guy says Brown's fans are further proof that everyone in Ohio is retarded. Sorry, Brady. Also quickly remind Brady it's been 2075 days since Ohio beat Michigan. Hashtag, go blue. They're gonna wave that natty at you. But Michigan got one the year before. So the two year now, in a standoff, this guy says, john, you took on the entire Gilbert community at one point and told them not to listen. And their shoes. You made fun of them, too, and you won. There was a trick to that one, though. When we attacked Gilbert, I happened to. Well, it was a gut feeling that all of Gilbert wasn't feeling the way that the Gilbert moms and the Gilbert Goon haters were feeling. Like everyone there was rational thinking in Gilbert. I attack when I go after an entire town like that, it's because somebody is being illogical. Like, usually it's a woman, and there's like. There's the illogical. Screaming and yelling is like, all right, calm down. And then they try to make it so the whole community's on their page.
Brady Bogan
And you're representing the entire.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, you don't represent an entire city. You represent you. And a few people you talk to at Postinos. That was an easy one. The little trick to that was most people in Gilbert were like, yeah, this guy on the radio is right. I don't want to say so because my wife's all fired up. But I like what he's talking about. And as it turns out, they were just going crazy for a minute. And because it's an insulated section of town with no confrontation from neighbors at all, they're usually all on the same page. They just kind of let them go. It got out of hand fast. So, yeah, you can attack Gilbert all day long and their shoes because usually Gilbert isn't as united as like you'd think of them. There's a reputation Gilbert has of being, you know, 40 year old women who are dressing like their 13 year old daughters to be friends with them and sipping wine and having bland mayonnaise, like sex with some guy that they don't love anymore. That's the reputation Gilbert's got.
John Holmberg
That's why I like Brady lives.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, well, that's not saying Brady likes that though. Hey, mayonnaise is good. I put mayonnaise on everything. Now. Sean says, john, you're right concerning the politics and Stern and stuff says Jay Leno was discussing on Colbert's firing. Said he never got into politics because he knew it would ruin the show. Remember Rosie O' Donnell show in the 90s? My sister and I watched her every day when she started out and we liked her. She was good at interviewing, she was entertaining. A couple years in, she just started going crazy, became unlikable and crappy. We turned her off. And that's the funny thing. I think if you're coming from a place of like misery and doom, it's not funny. You could even be angry and funny, but you can't be a doomsdayer and still be funny. And I think that's what happened. Like Rosie, especially Chicken Little, like the sky was falling because politically things were happening she didn't agree with and she couldn't understand why anyone else agreed with it. And she got doomsday. That's why that doom goblin from Sweden, Greta Thunberg, runs around. Everybody's like, I don't like her. She said there's no joy in her world. Even when she's angry. You're like, ah, give me a smile, toots. Like, you can't have a moment with her. She's just mean Greta Booby.
Brady Bogan
It's not worth it.
Brett Vesely
I think mad can be hilarious. I've lived off that. Like, you can be grumpy and irrational about certain things, but at least you're doing it with like a little wink and a twinkle in your eye. The doom goblins and Greta's the Biggest one right now. Rosie's another doom goblin. Alec Baldwin turned into a doom goblin. Like, they just come at you with like, if you don't believe like me, your life would and should end.
John Holmberg
About the broads from the view.
Brett Vesely
Doom goblins, all they do is tell you how your world is collapsing. Nobody wants to hear, yeah, Kimmel. Kimmel tries, but he's. Yeah. And to people who don't agree with Kimmel, he's the the doomiest of doomers. And he's also got this thing that it feels like he thinks he's making a difference and he's just yelling into the void. We all are. But he shouts about personal things and everything. Yeah, Jimmy, get him. And then the next day, it doesn't matter at all. It's self satisfying too. It's a click for his radio.
Brady Bogan
Throw it into the the doom platform of social media and it magnifies everything.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. But then again you have to seek that out at the very least. Like doom goblins are. Doom goblins exist. And it's again, it goes back to that idea. Are you coming at it with a. With an intent to entertain or be malicious? And even being malicious is funny. If you have. If you know for a fact you've got logic on your side. You can be angry at something when you're being logical because what you're doing is yelling at illogical people. The flat Earthers, they don't deserve your logic and your kindness. When they start arguing with you, they need to be met with a fierce fight of wall that is also just riddled with jokes and funny because they're idiots. So when you're arguing with a, it's easy to have fun with it. But when nobody's arguing and you bring up doom and gloom and then somebody goes, hey, this is a little depressing. How dare you. Like, then you're now, now you're just boring. And I think that's kind of what happened to Stern. People would go on a show, used to be able to talk about it. Now that was the big thing I told. I talked about that was Doug Hopkins and I don't know who we were talking and I said, biggest problem with Stern show was it used to be a free for all. Now it's eggshells. If you went on there and started to say Trump rules. I love Donald Trump. I think he's the best thing in the world. You're gonna get killed. And it isn't gonna be funny. It's just gonna be, how dare you? And he wouldn't even have you on.
Brady Bogan
The show be five minutes max.
Brett Vesely
It used to be unless you were insane and a Trump fan. But if you just were on there and make, you know, made some sense, he's. He'd kill you. You're not welcome there. There's a lot of topics you can't go down on his show now, and that's what used to make him so great. He ain't going anywhere, though. I'm not. If he. I don't think Howard can just drift off into the sunset unless he wants to. Right.
John Holmberg
At this point. You know, he's 71.
Brett Vesely
I don't think he's built for that.
John Holmberg
I think Brady's right, though. I think he could do the Letterman thing and just do interviews now, which I think should.
Brett Vesely
Well, that's kind of what he got. That new producer, Craig Gas, used to be on his show, and Craig told me goes. This new producer came and sat everybody down. And then that viral video that went out that one of his employees taped, Howard telling everybody that they were lazy and they sucked and they dressed like it was a college dorm and this is a goddamn business. And it was like, whoa. He gave him this big, you know, like, horrible speech about what? How unhappy he was with everybody. Everybody's like, oh, this isn't the fun Howard Stern that we know. And, you know, I understand that he's the boss, and if that was going on, but he said that there was a producer that came in and said, we're changing everything. You're getting rid of all this. Howard's going to do interviews. We're not going to talk about this. We're not doing that. You're not going to have your silly, wacky, you know, goofball moments like you used to. It isn't going to be a free for all. It's going to be very structured, and it changed everything. And you know what? That's okay to try to change. He's still the best interviewer I've ever heard. Ever. No, no question. Two hours with a person, and to make almost all two hours good, that's. I haven't heard him for a long time, but that's what I remember. That's impossible.
John Holmberg
He gets the big headers, too. I mean, McCartney and.
Brett Vesely
Huge, huge.
Brady Bogan
Do a couple of songs.
Brett Vesely
I said, I remember when you first came on 98 KUPD. I called you and said you were trying to be like Stern, and after all these years of listening to you, I like that you stayed true to being funny and staying away from the political side. Keep grinding. You Guys make my mornings keep making me laugh. I remember that call. You son of a bitch. Never listen to this again. You. Robert Cassias. How dare you say I'm trying to be like Stern. Get off my radio. Thanks, Robert. So, John, you and Brett constantly attack Maryvale, but they're lucky they can afford radios. They can't. They don't. Look, Maryvale has to be very careful when they listen because especially now, it's early in the month. They can't waste those minutes.
John Holmberg
No.
Brett Vesely
So they've got, like, all their time on their phone has to be really monitored and. Yeah, they don't have radios.
John Holmberg
I can't tap that app.
Brett Vesely
No, they can't. The only radio they've got is probably a police scanner to let them know when those guys are getting close. Don't worry about it. We got Maryville under wraps. And besides, you don't. We don't really. Honestly, Maryville. We don't really care about you. I know that sounds really bad. And Brady. Brady's brought this up a lot. I talked to Brady about the other day. I said, maybe we should be nicer to Maryville. And Brady goes, why? I'm like, I don't. I just. I think listeners, possible listeners out there for years. Are you kidding me? They live in Maryvale. They'll be dead in a couple of days. I'm like, that's probably Brady's. Probably right. Stabbed her shots. Brady brought a real, real logic to that. Real. You cleared the clouds for me. I appreciated that moment we had when you said that all the people in Maryland.
Brady Bogan
I forgot about that moment.
Brett Vesely
Probably be dead in a couple days anyway. Why. Why invest in that dump? I'm like, you're right. Not gonna say this on the air, but I hate Maryvale. Like, wow, I would French kiss Hitler before I'd spend one minute in that dump.
Brady Bogan
I was on a roll then.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, you were. Well, you were just being you. We were just being the you we know off the air.
John Holmberg
His character you're playing, Donovan, says SNL got the same way, got mean, and now it sucks.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, it's. It was doomy and mean and I don'. Mean comedy. I just. It has to be comedy. It can't just be, you're wrong, I'm right. Comedy, that's different. Like, in a mean way, you can do a. You're wrong, I'm right in a funny way. Especially if you're, like, probably kind of wrong with thinking you're right. That's fun. Remember when Brady walked down the hall the other day? Saw Amy and I said, hey, Brady. Amy. And he. Hold on a second. Hey, Amy, Meet you in the bathroom for a quick. Your ass is looking tight, Mike. Brady can't say that at work. I'm Brady goddamn Bogan. I can say whatever the I want. Come after me, bro. This guy, he's a different man in the hallway. Brady, step into my office. Why? You want to take a look at my dick? No. Then I got no time for you. You flip, RIP. Anyway, bye, Brady.
John Holmberg
I saw Brady walking Banana's office and threw a green dildo at it.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, I saw that today. I was like, jesus Christ. Chugging green dildos down. Yeah, Yeah. I didn't like that Sophie got hit last night by the dildo. I mean, that goes against all funny.
John Holmberg
I do. Because she was laughing.
Brett Vesely
Oh, she had a good time.
John Holmberg
She took it in stride. She didn't get mad and angry.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Almost stumbled over it.
Brett Vesely
She took that surprise dildo stride. I like it. I like the idea of it landing harmlessly on the court. Yeah. I don't like the idea of getting, you know, somebody taking one of the chops.
John Holmberg
They want Maryville Brady in the squares.
Brett Vesely
Oh, Maryville Brady. Oh, yeah. I don't know if we want to take the curtain off of that one.
John Holmberg
Hey, jberg, you and Stern are similar. He's got a big ego and you got a big nose.
Brett Vesely
My nose is bigger than his ego. That's saying something. I don't know. I give that a run for its money. Tell that guy he disagrees with his job. Get him off our radio. We need less listeners. I watched a little Hard Knocks last night. Did you watch? The Hard Knocks are. Bills are a team. Not like the Ravens. The Bills are. I know Chiefs fans and I know Bengals fans, and there's just a hard team to hate because they've become that synonymous with the hard luck Bills. You know, I think maybe I have a soft spot for the Bills because I'm a Cubs fan for most of my life, up until the last couple years. And they're just that team. You're like, man, I feel for their fans. A they live in Buffalo. They don't have a lot going for them. They love one thing, it's the Bills, and they are incapable of getting over the hump. I mean, I've never felt more sorry for a team I had no ties to. Then when they took the lead on that touchdown to Gabe Davis four or five years ago against the Chiefs and had 13 seconds on the clock and Patrick Mahomes drove in two plays and beat him. It was a remarkable arrow to the chest last year on the was it third or fourth and long, dropped back to pass down three. Somehow or another the Chiefs got him again. Or down two, maybe. I remember the score was 32, 30 or something like that. And the pass goes. Josh raises his arms and the guy dropped. I was like, oh, that's it. I I On the flip side, when the Ravens threw that pass to Mark Andrews and it bounced off his chest at the goal line, I've never I e Jack, I was, it was a crazy moment in my life. It was a no touch finish for me. It was like Mark Andrews dropped a touchdown and then their kicker went off and started manhandling a bunch of people. I just love it. But the Bills on Hard Knocks last night was, it was pretty good. One of their linemen likes to drift race in his spare time. And that was kind of a fun little segment on the Hard Knocks. Josh Allen seems incredibly likable. He's an imp. He's one of those guys just impossible to hate. I know Chiefs fans, but you've been won over on him the whole time. And the Bills are a team that you're like, all right, I'm not rooting for you, but I get it. But my takeaway from the whole thing is they brought, they've had their cornerback. Trudevius White has been there and then he left for a couple years ago, the Rams and Ravens and he came back, he's back this year and Trudevius is, you know, been a mainstay in Buffalo. He got a couple injuries. They showed him running up a hill. Walter Payton used to do that all the time. So a lot of football players find a hill and they run up and he's running up this hill, comes back down and his wife's down at the bottom of the hill and she goes, how many is that? And he goes, that's two. It's a big hill. And he starts running up the hill again. And then it says Trudevius's wife. And she has the greatest name I have ever heard in my life. Ikea Perrier. Wow. And her husband's name is Tredavious. I don't know if they've got kids, but those names are gonna be awesome when Trudevius and Ikea Perrier name those kids. My God, you met her.
Brady Bogan
They're like, it's destiny.
Brett Vesely
If that was still old fashioned TV where everybody had to watch at the same time, I think Richter scales would have registered in all white commun of laughing at that IKEA Perrier. And it's spelled I, K, E A. She's named after the Swedish story and then Perrier IKEA Perry. They never said her name. They just put it on the screen and white America just went, you can't help it. And tip of the cap to the African Americans. Where you come up with this kind of stuff is beyond me. Naming your child after a Swedish furniture store is unheard of. The bravery to go to the. Did you not notice at the hospital when they said, okay, what are we gonna name her? Let's write it down. And one of you turned and said, ikea. I know. The next words were like the furniture store. Yep. Spelled exactly the same.
Brady Bogan
It'd be like, john, this is my wife, Vanilla Hellman.
Brett Vesely
Wow, you got flavor. Wow, is there Vanilla Hellman's.
Brady Bogan
The mustard's a mayo and ice cream.
Brett Vesely
Oh, Jesus Christ. Well, I'm not saying Trudevius married her because he loves IKEA so much, but he does. I love you, ikea. He says it a lot.
John Holmberg
I got she wasn't a dude, she'd Billy Shelf or something like that.
Brett Vesely
And it also made me think that nurses in hospitals in the inner city have to have a tough time. Because when they go in and say, what? What's the name? And they write down the ikea, their next question has to be, where do I put the apostrophe? And that can be touchy. Is there an apostrophe? And I I apostrophe. K I A. No, no. Like the blue and yellow stores. All right. And last name is, of course, Perrier. So this works out. Hyphen, White. Ikea Perrier White. Okay, we'll go with that. What are their kids names gonna be? Ikea Perrier is like, strippers are jealous that you get to walk around being called IKEA Perrier. Let's welcome to the stage IKEA and her Billy. Shelves of breasts.
Brady Bogan
Their son, Kuka Corve.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, yeah. Start naming them Swedish meatballs. Billy Scarngen. We named after table from ikea, Perry's favorite place. Let me guess, ikea. How'd you know? Greatest name I've ever seen on tv. And she just stood at the bottom of the hill being IKEA Perrier while Trudevius busted his ass up that hill in uniform. Like, he left practice in uniform. And IKEA was there for like dinner or whatever. And she just stand at the bottom of the hill and she took off, off, and it was great. And then Dawson Knox, the tight end for the bills. HBO is very wise. They went in and found Ikea Perrier. And they said, we got to get her on. That's just. Just for the. Just to put the graphic on screen. So white America giggles. Even black America had to laugh at Ikea Perry. Why name it after a Swedish furniture store? But Dawson Knox and his wife were on. And they go through, like, who they have to follow. And Josh Allen's one you have to follow. And he's got a pretty wife, so that's okay when they do home life stuff. Remember when Ryan Tannehill was on there and we got introduced to his gorgeous cheerleader wife when he was with Miami? They did this again with Dawson Knox. And they're in the house of Dawson Knox and his wife. And his wife is absolutely stunning. I forgot her name, but it was. It was an impressive thing. And she's all packing him up and stuff and doing all this stuff, walking around. I think it was Dawson. It might have been the other guy, now that I think about it, but she was. She was ridiculous. And they basically don't have to follow this guy around. But HBO's like, let me see their wives. Let me take a look at their wives. She's. She's hot. That might not be her. That's a different one. That's not. Oh, that's Ikea Perrier. Yeah, you got pictures of Ikea Perrier out there. But all in all, that formula for hard knocks is just outstanding.
Brady Bogan
I dove into that SEC one that Toledo did during premature releases.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, Hot releases.
Brady Bogan
The SEC football deal.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. Did you watch that?
Brady Bogan
Yeah. There were a couple of quarterbacks and seeing the coaches and everything. And a couple of Hellcats were in there too.
Brett Vesely
Oh, they rolling Hellcats. That's pretty good. Well, nil money. I'll get you a Hellcat. Morning sickness Medicate. Can't you pd? What do you think makes the perfect snack?
Brady Bogan
Hmm.
Brett Vesely
It's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient. Could you be more specific? When it's cravenient. Okay.
Brady Bogan
Like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter, available right down the street at a.m. p.m. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can grab in just a.
Brett Vesely
Second at am pm. I'm seeing a pattern here.
Brady Bogan
Well, yeah, we're talking about what I.
Brett Vesely
Crave, which is anything from am pm. What more could you want? Stop by AM pm where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's craving. Yance Ampm. Too much good stuff. Holmberg's morning sickness. Alexandra Knox is her name.
Brady Bogan
Quarterback car.
Brett Vesely
And the worst part about The Knox family is that they were acting like she's in it for her Instagram and she got some Instagram followers, I guarantee you that. But she. There was. There's going to be some clicks and she knew it. So she was very TV aware, like, not looking at the camera. Look at this. Like, this is Dawson Knox's wife. She's. She's a workout maven. Bunch of videos of her on stairs, you know, drinking turmeric and things like that. Oh, yeah, she's very pretty and she knows it and HBO knows it. And they decided, you know, we should. We should kind of follow the Knox family around a little bit. Maybe get into their house.
Brady Bogan
They do that on that quarterbacks with Jared Goff.
Brett Vesely
Well, they knew that going in. Like, they. They picked guys you just watch and.
Brady Bogan
Yet watch the other players. Wives just like, oh, they hate her.
Brett Vesely
Well, that's the fun of it, though, because with Hard Knocks, you got the whole team, so. And Dawson Knox is an important player, but you got the whole team, so you need to find someone with an interesting story and somebody with a smoking hot wife they can follow around. And he doesn't even have to be that important a player. Her, you got a hot wife. Hard Knocks is going to follow her around. And boy, are they. And they're not wrong. She's got those grasshopper thighs. Yes. She just climbs stairs all day long because she doesn't have to do anything else.
Brady Bogan
Should be a great Sherpa.
Brett Vesely
Oh, she'd get you up the mountain. She should help Ikea Perrier's husband Tridavius climb that hill. Yeah. So it was fun, though. That is such a good show. And it's so basic. It's. It's such a strange thing. Yeah. Oh, he's amazing. Whoever writes the narrative is just perfect. And the amazing thing is, is they do it in a five days.
Brady Bogan
The music.
Brett Vesely
The music's great. The timing's great. They did so much stuff. Was good. It's just such a good show. And it's back. And it makes you feel like football's right around the corner. It's even better. It's good stuff and it takes your mind off of gerrymandering, which evidently dudes in the dentist's office parking lot couldn't get enough of. Oh, I forgot I had a dentist appointment and had some left. No, I left some. I had leftover chicken wings in the fridge and I hammered those and I kind of did some stuff around the house. My phone alerts me that I got a thing and I'm like, oh, crap. So I'm in there just flossing as hard as I can start. There's chicken in there for sure. Brush, floss. Brush some more. Try to get all the blood from the floss, because, you know, nobody does that every day. That's insanity. So I go there, and I warned her. I'm like, look, I. I did the best I could, but I had chicken wings for lunch. I should have just had soup or something or, like a protein shake. There's no way I should be. Have. I. I came here. I can't imagine you deal with this, Earn your money. Yeah, that's kind of how I felt like, you get her. You're gonna earn it today. So she's flossing away. She's doing a great job. You gums look great. I'm like, thanks. I work real hard on that. I don't. I'm getting lucky with the gum thing. And so she hits it, and I've got this bridge in the back, and she gets in there and. And she goes up. She took the chicken that she found. I know.
Brady Bogan
I'm gonna yak.
Brett Vesely
I know. And she put that. That stuff, that pricky stick thing. I don't know what that's called. And she scooped it and showed it to me, like, ah. And then wiped it on my chest on that little napkin they put on your chest. So just peripherally, I could see the string of chicken that was between my teeth on my chest the entire visit.
Brady Bogan
With a wing chest.
Brett Vesely
So I made her sick. And I picked it up and I ate it again. Winner chicken dinner. That's what that means.
John Holmberg
He's not wasting food, Brady, For God's sakes, Brady.
Brett Vesely
It was on my chest. You do it all the time. You look down at your chest and start eating what's left. I've seen you do it. Yeah, I've seen you lick a shirt after a thing of be cheetoed, you know, combos. You'll eat that dust. Yeah, it was gross. And then I just got to thinking of what dental hygienists have to do. Like, it's. It's almost the gynecology of the mouth. Like, gynecologist guys will use me a guy to call us. That used to be a joke. And then you realize all the things those dudes see that aren't good on a good day. A gynecologist sees, like, nine patients, and they're all paper cuts. They're all perfect. No RB sandwiches rolling in, nobody going, it itches. It itches like, just A perfect day of exams of girls who are right on the money. I knew a girl years ago who was just. This was. Geez, this had to be like, 2004. And she came back from lunch. It was here. She came back from lunch, and she goes, I had the best day ever. I'm like, what'd you do? She went to the gynecologist. Like, no kidding? She goes, yep. And the gynecologist thanked me, and I said, for what? She goes, for having a perfect vagina. And I'm like, what's your gynecologist's name? Like, Robert. Oh, it was a dude. He's been seeing some stuff. Oh, yeah. Like, I don't know if you've got a pristine one or not. He's just happy. Didn't find another surprise. A woman's vagina is like a box of Cracker Jacks to a gynecologist. You have no idea what the prize is going to be, but it's in there. The mouth is the same way. Those hygienists get involved, thinking they're just going to be dealing with nothing but pearly whites. Floss, brush, get them out of here. Uh, at dudes like me who had chicken wings for lunch. Bring that to your party.
John Holmberg
I like when you go in there and did. The hygienist is already digging in there. So, have you been flossing?
Brett Vesely
Come on.
John Holmberg
You know you're right here.
Brett Vesely
Come on.
John Holmberg
You want me to lie?
Brett Vesely
Do you floss every day? You're covered in blood. You look like OJ's wife right now. Of course I don't floss every day. No one flosses every day.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, I do.
John Holmberg
Every day.
Brady Bogan
I don't understand why it's so hard.
Brett Vesely
To get the floss every day. Floss goes right in. She hits a couple of those spots that just. It's just a geyser of blood. She had a jugular in. What? I didn't know I had veins in there. You should probably floss a little better here and here. Yeah. The places that are aching and in misery.
John Holmberg
Yes, use an electric toothbrush. No, we both know I don't.
Brett Vesely
Look, you're the one. You're the expert here. Quit asking questions.
John Holmberg
I'm paying you, for Christ's sake.
Brett Vesely
Rumor has it you can tell if I've blown someone in the last 24 hours. So let's not act like you don't know if I floss. I do. Here and there. When I get chicken wings stuck in my teeth. I did it today. The reason I'm not bleeding real hard today is because I bled out already. I had already done it earlier. For the last three days, I've been flossing like crazy, knowing I was gonna see you trying to scab over.
Brady Bogan
Let me pick your feelings here a little bit with that spike.
Brett Vesely
To all you people out there. I don't. Yeah, don't put anything metal in your mouth. The first thing they do is jam a spike in your face. Anyways, all the people out there who floss every day, get off my radio. I don't want you listening anymore. You. You're a weirdo. You're the weirdo. I floss periodically. I floss when I need to, but not everybody does it every day. That seems impossible. And it's gross. If I eat chicken or something gooey or weird like that. Yeah, meat. But if I had soup or spaghetti that night. I'm skipping the string.
Brady Bogan
Little chicken broth stuck in your teeth.
Brett Vesely
That can't happen. I can brush that off. It's like, you don't detail the car every time. You should floss twice a day. Why? If I floss before bed and I don't eat and wake up, I don't have to floss in the morning. Nothing got in there. It's good for gum health, blah, blah, blah. You're good for gum health. That's why I pay you. But it is bad when you don't because you've been through it. I have not deep cleaning. Those deep cleans are evidently a nightmare, and I'm in great shape in that department. They're like, you're not even close. I. I'm scared of that. I'll ask them. Like, I'm nowhere near deep clean, are you? And they're like, nope. They go through your teeth. And they start going by going, 1, 2, 3. Like, I'm like, high. So that's all good.
John Holmberg
You had a four, you start sweating.
Brett Vesely
Like, mine are all like, excellent, excellent, excellent. Like, thank you. Got. And then you get one. She's like, three. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Not paying for a single two. We'll just pull that one out, stick in a fakie. But, yeah, she put chicken on my chest. So if you got a dentist appointment today, just think of the hygienist and what she deals with. If you got a gynecologist appointment. I bet you women brush their vaginas before they go to the gynecologist. The way we do our teeth.
Brady Bogan
The last time I was. I had half a pizza on my chest.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, she rebuilt an entire Piece. You can almost finish the circle. Who olives? I bet you that is. I never thought of that for a woman, I would be like. Because if you knew you were getting a prostate exam, I assume Brady would wash his ass, right? Yeah. You definitely like Scout. And that's one time you're getting in there.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
Brett Vesely
You're going knuckles in.
Brady Bogan
Yep.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. You don't do that every day. But you should. But you don't. Just in case you get into a car wreck and you need your prostate looked at. That's one thing about flossing that's different than keeping your ass clean, is that you're never going to get in a car wreck to where they floss or brush your teeth. They don't care about that. But they might have to go in rectally. Something might happen down there. The last thing they want is a bunch of poo or you get knocked out. What's the first thing to do? Start cutting your clothes off. Off. I watch a lot of those shows where getting a car wreck and you're laying on the road for no reason, all you just take scissors and cut your clothes in half, and the last thing you want is dirty ass. Like, I'm okay. I just can't really feel my feet. Sorry. We got to get all your clothes off.
John Holmberg
Why mine off in that accident.
Brett Vesely
They did?
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah.
Brett Vesely
They cut them all off. They. With scissors.
John Holmberg
I think they left my drawers on. That was about it.
Brett Vesely
Did they? Probably because you had mud butt.
John Holmberg
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Brett Vesely
You might have had mud butt in that rack after it happened. I bet your body just went cut off. His regular clothes, keep the undergarments on. He's got mud butt. I'm not touching that. They cut your clothes. That's why I'm. You know, that's what mom always said. They put on pair of clean underwear just in case you go to the hospital and see mud butt and think you got bad parents. Always wash your ass. But women, when they go to the gynecologist, they never really thought of the pressures you must feel. And that's when you really have to come to grips to whether. Because when you go to the dentist, you know, when you've got teeth issues, you're like, oh, they're going to talk about it. You go to the gynecologist when you got something going on. I'm sure you're down there just scrubbing away, putting that car buffer on it, waxing it up. Brillo pad, trying to put on a good show for the guy. Emery cloth Or a girl. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Got the Maguires out with the chamois and everything.
Brett Vesely
And make that thing shine. Maybe they won't notice that war. Oh. He reaches into his water and pulls a piece of ice out and goes, this should help. What? I see it. You tried to polish around it, but it is. It's like a dent in a Ferrari. Are those ladies that have the big Montanas and they. That has to be a nightmare for them to go to the gynecologist and.
Brady Bogan
Because they got a lady from yesterday.
Brett Vesely
Oh, that thing yesterday with that. Well, she's not going. She's that unicorn that was falling out of that woman. No, that a gynecologist isn't seeing that.
John Holmberg
Imagine the gynecology.
Brett Vesely
Jesus Christ. No, that's. That's. No, that's gotta. That's gotta go to one of those import. You know, like, you take a Volkswagen to a very specific place. She's not going to a regular gyno for that. She's got.
John Holmberg
She's going to Tijuana for.
Brett Vesely
She's got a special Mexican doctor in a day's inn that's like, will you take a look at this? And all he does is just get close to it and go. I think it's fine.
Brady Bogan
Just. Just keep it polished.
Brett Vesely
I'm not going in there. I'm not touching that.
John Holmberg
There's a days in a Maryville, room 1255. Talk to Dr. Gonzalez.
Brett Vesely
It's okay. I think it's okay. Here's some Turtle Wax. See you.
Brady Bogan
He just takes a couple of white naps. Wet naps.
Brett Vesely
Here it is. You see the wet. The wet wipe after I brush across it. If it comes up a different color, you're sick. I hope you wash this thing today. Oh, God. She's a back to fronter. Yeah. You know what? Apologies to women on the whole gynecology thing. That's got to be a tough couple days. You know, I've seen the commercials. I know sometimes you don't feel that fresh and you gotta get down there and start working it. But if you've got an ugly one, that's like having really bad teeth and going to the dentist. You go to the gynecologist and open up. Open wide. He says, same as the dentist. And he looks at it and he's just like, blech. Looks like somebody punched a hole in a wall. Anyway, sorry, ladies. That's got to be tough. Can't imagine my ass is always ready for an exam and ironically, never gonna do it. Don't you want to catch it Early. I don't want to catch it at all. If it happens. Fine. Nobody's digging around back there. Multiple times I had to pick my friend Jim up from his colonoscopy and dude had like a Bible sized book of the exam. They were in there forever. He's got pictures of the outside, pictures of the inside. He's thumbing through it. I'm like, you mind not doing that while I'm driving? I can see the glossies you just had your agent took of your asshole. It's perfectly clean.
John Holmberg
Like glamour shots.
Brett Vesely
It was. They were like super clear, wet pink.
Brady Bogan
Inside the bedroom?
Brett Vesely
Yeah. What are you gonna do with those?
John Holmberg
What about the fireplace?
Brett Vesely
This is an inch in. They took a picture two inches through. How deep did they go? How deep is your love? It was weird. So I'm like, well, that's off the top. That's off the top table for me. I'm not interested in that. If my anus kills me. It was meant to be. They catch it early. You'll be fine. I'm not interested in the. People are arguing at the dentist office over gerrymandering. I don't think the future is that bright. Thank you. 7:29. Oh, don't forget our Pantera thing this morning. We got more of that coming your way. So again, real quick, we'll go through the rules here. Real quick again, game off. If you hear this. How about that one right there? If you hear that or you hear this. Game on now. Starting now. It would result in you making a phone call. 585-9800. And the 10th caller will get themselves two tickets to go see Pantera and be qualified to hang out and become Pantera's security detail. You will then walk Pantera from their dressing room to the stage. You get your security gear, you get a flashlight, you get your shirt, you get all that stuff, you get to keep all that. And they're gonna stick you in the photography and video pit right after you walk them off. So you're not allowed to take a bunch of pictures while you're walking them up there. But once you get in the pit, which is the closest you're ever gonna see a show in your life, guaranteed. No question. Very possibly. Hanging out with Randy Johnson. If he's in town, he'll be in that pit. He loves taking pictures of those bands and he takes great pictures. So you get up there, you do the whole thing. And then the first few songs of that, you get to watch Pantera. Then you can go get drunk again. The rule We've made this very clear. You must be sober to escort Pantera to the stage. We can't have any boozies. So if you. If you're an alcoholic and you're gonna. If you're even in your head, it's like, that's crap. Don't play and don't call now. Doesn't count yet. And evidently, Brett, yesterday, some experts in the field came and finally fixed the phones. They broke officially yesterday. They all shut down. I'm with you. Yeah. And you know what? I found out yesterday that these phones that have been broken for 10 years here, because it's technology, so it means more, so it must be better if it's technology. It's. You know, it's four different steps to do the same thing we were doing that wasn't broken. Broken. They turned these digital phones off and plugged them into the old line, the 260-9800 line, which we still have, evidently. Yeah. And it worked just fine as that. But no, no, we got all this digital equipment. It's so much better, but it doesn't work.
John Holmberg
So.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, but it's on paper. It's so much better.
John Holmberg
So the question is, do you call the old number?
Brett Vesely
Call the new number? They got it back at 585, 9800. The other one, the 261 that we used to have, have still lives here as a landline and would work just fine if we put the old phones in, but these new phones have to be here because we paid for them. And the technology is ridiculous. Even though it doesn't work. It's like buying my Jeep. And the guy's like, the technology on this thing's amazing. You know it can fly, right? Like, holy cow. It can. Yeah. Well, I can't get it started. Yeah, it doesn't start. It hardly ever works to start. But if you ever get it started, it can fly. Well, that's not technology. That's a thought of technology. They're all ringing now.
John Holmberg
I was calling the 260-9800.
Brett Vesely
Oh, that's. That's. That's the old. It still rang. I'm pretty sure that you're gonna get Alexander Graham Bell. He'll pick it up and go, ahoy, Hoy. Watson. Watson, come here. I need you. That's the one thing about telephone invention I wish would have stuck. When they first happened, people answered with a hoy. Hoy. That's how we were supposed to answer the phone back in the day. And then some idiot went, hoy. That's better. Ahoy hoy. That's the way you answer a phone. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there?
John Holmberg
All right. Wake up song brought to you by Action Ride Shop, of course. Getting you guys ready for the bike season because it's going to be around. I know it's 118 degrees now, so. But the deal is go get those bikes serviced right now and Action Ride Shop is the place to do it. Gonna take care of you. Two locations right there on Gilbert Road and Southern, the OG and the brand new location right there at the Hawes trailhead on Power and McDowell. Doesn't matter if you bought it there or not, if it's one of their brands or not. They got the best wrenches in town. They will fix it and get you on the road. And if your time's ready to upgrade, well, Action Ride Shop's got the full line of the brand new pivots in stock. And of course, Santa Cruz, Rocky Mountain, you name it, they got it. Or they'll get it for you. It's actionrideshop.com.
Brett Vesely
I just had a friend's female companion. I'm not going to use names. Text me and say, my gyno told me everything looks great. And to get past that uncomfortable moment, I said, will it make the COVID of Vagina magazine? And then in a last ditch effort of too much information, she finishes with, I'm a C section. Mom, stop it.
John Holmberg
Is there Vagina magazine? Instead of highlights in the doctor's office, you got vagina magazines.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, we've never been in, but yeah, it's like Gynos of the world. International Vagina.
Brady Bogan
It's clamor.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, good pun, Brady. That's rare. Wasn't bad. Although GQ doesn't stand for Gentlemen's quarterly anymore. It's like God, no. Yeah, rhymes with chief. What do you got on the list?
John Holmberg
Slipknot. Ride the lightning for the electric chair. Two minutes to midnight for the big bomb. Bombshell from power man. Slipknot. Before I forget. Disturbed Anthrax, Skid Row Ozzy. Fire in the sky for Hiroshima.
Brett Vesely
Do we celebrate this? I think we do.
John Holmberg
Destroy everything from Hate Breed for Hiro Shima. Which kind of fits.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, I like that. I mean, we won that war. It was over. We were all happy about it. Let's celebrate. It's an American pride moment today, right? Yeah. I mean, to destroy everything. Japan was asking for it, right? It was a counterpunch.
John Holmberg
They were asking for it.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. You asked for it and you got it. Nippon. Yeah, I like that. We'll go destroy everything. This is a great. This is a great day for America. We should celebrate it. I mean, it was horrifying what we did, but I mean, no more horrifying than what went on in Normandy and all the other war battles that were fought in World War II. It's just. Just in one day, in like a minute. And look what happened when we dropped those bombs. I've had this claim for years. Japan straightened right up. Next thing you know, within 10 years, they're building cars and TVs for us and just bowing and hello, sorry. Like they say sorry all the time. Still, three generations later, sorry, like, oh, you're good. You made us all TVs. Korea, just in case we got weird, started building Samsungs. Those are two crows. Beautiful. Zimbabwe televisions. You drop little. Little, you know, little drops of the surface of the sun on countries, and next thing you know, they're building you electronics like crazy for cheap. It worked is what I'm saying. The human toll was horrible. But.
Brady Bogan
And I mean, yeah, the fact that the. The tactic was different from a lot of battling. I mean, you're talking about Normandy. Oh, sure, guys are actually fighting, right? This is going. We're taking.
Brett Vesely
We're taking civilians. They didn't know.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
Brett Vesely
Two days later. Didn't have that excuse anymore. But still, that was back in the day before we had computer guidance. And those bombs were just kind of pushed out of the back of planes. And clouds played a part that drives me, like, my brain won't wrap around that. Like today. Could you imagine if we had that bombing run on Iran to blow up their nuclear facility? Like, there's too many clouds. Where's Tehran? We'll just put them there. Like they just came up with an alternative. It's like driving around with your wife trying to figure out where to eat.
John Holmberg
No.
Brett Vesely
You want to go to Ocean 44? No, no, no.
Brady Bogan
Because then I've never gotten dry.
Brett Vesely
That's. That's a good point. You'll just be driving around.
Brady Bogan
I don't know.
John Holmberg
What do you want?
Brett Vesely
Whatever. Whatever. I'm good for whatever. How about sushi? No. The pizza? No. Chicken? I had chicken for lunch. What do you want for dinner? Anything's. I'm not that hungry, but I could eat something. Worst phrase ever. Because that means that you're gonna be in a bind.
John Holmberg
I like the dentist lines here. When was the last time you flossed? You should know, you were there.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, that's the old Daniel Tosh. Things like, when's the last time I flossed. I don't know. You were there. All right, let's do it. Destroy everything for America's big winning day. I know it's not cool to celebrate it, but if it wasn't for that, what would have happened happen? We win. Let that be a lesson to you, world. It's hate breed. It's 98. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership feed. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Blazing through Wednesday, which will probably be the hottest day in Phoenix in August's history. Go get him, kid. That's hot. Don't forget. Also, the Pantera thing looms. If you hear the two sounds that are supposed to get you there, don't forget, all you gotta do is call, win tickets to go see Pantera, meet him, hang out with them for a second, walking from the dressing room to the stage, be part of that whole deal and get your security gear. They'll bag that up for you. You go pop down into that photo. God, that is such a great. That is such a great spot. People don't get to be in there. It's just incredible. Ah, I'm jealous of whoever wins. Nice job. And I've seen Pantera. I saw him at the Metallica thing, and I was wildly impressed with how tight and good that band sounded, considering all the issues they've had that with drinking and not being tight.
John Holmberg
In the last tour or two that they did as Pantera, Phil was a mess, a disaster.
Brett Vesely
And Zach has had his history. Zach Wild is their guitar player, has had his history of being like, oh, boy, he's going off the rails. And he plays that song a lot. But they're all together good now. And that's why you have to be sober around them. If they had to do all that work to do a show for you, you can't show up drunk. That's the only rule. So keep it in mind while you're sitting there waiting to make that phone call. If you hear those sounds, Pantera is in your hands. Stay sober for a day. It's easy. Good luck. It's time now for the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends at all Pro Shade Concepts, offering free installation on every product. How about that? Free estimates as well. So if you've got an idea, they'll come out to your house, point out the thing, the guys will be like, maybe you do this, maybe you do that. They have a guy come out and they give you an estimate of what it's going to cost if your idea comes to fruition. And you'll probably go, whoa, that's really good deal. Make that shade happen again. Like I told you, it's the hottest day August has ever had in Phoenix. Wouldn't it be great to have extra shade around your house in that place that you would love to get shaded? Maybe a window that lets in too much sun, east, west, you know, you got the exposure coming in when the sun sets. I got one of those. That window just eats it up. The room gets so hot. All you got to do is call them up. All Pro Shade Concepts AllProche.com Brady Reporter.
Brady Bogan
Good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix.
Brett Vesely
Hello world.
Brady Bogan
Hello, happy National Root Beer Float Day.
Brett Vesely
Been a long time since I bloated myself up with one of those. I think the last. That's when you realize, oh, those days are behind me. You drink one can of root beer and you're like, I'm gonna explode. What's in this? I feel like a zot.
Brady Bogan
Didn't you do two of them and.
Brett Vesely
Yak in the parking lot? I had. Well, that was two milkshakes.
Brady Bogan
Oh, that was a milkshake.
Brett Vesely
I was at a the when the Redskins. Yeah, that used to be a set. And the Bills played in the Super Bowl. My dad's co worker had a Super bowl party and we all went up there and I was probably at that time, I guess I was like 20. And the kids, I was the oldest of which had a football game at halftime outside. It was a really nice day and I remember they had this big front dirt lot and we're playing football and the only thing there was to drink was root beer. And so I'd go over and pop a root beer and then we'd play a little football. Pop another night, like four of them. Because I came can I can guzzle. And by the fifth one I'm like, this is not right. I'm drinking too much root beer. And I went out to play football again and I threw up foam like I was one of those car wash things.
Brady Bogan
You could put out a fire.
Brett Vesely
It was insane. Yeah, you could have dropped me from the sky. It was retardant. Sorry, everybody. Who's retardant? It was complete foam. All of it. Like in a. In a tube.
John Holmberg
Like those bee attacks. You could have just went over there.
Brett Vesely
And just covered the area. Yeah, bees flew away. Never seen anything like it. And it piled up like soap in a bathtub. Just made A big foam pile on the ground. It was vomit. So I don't drink root beer anymore.
Brady Bogan
Couple of basis fun facts. A pair of identical twins. Marrying identical twins is called a incest quaternary marriage.
Brett Vesely
Oh, quato.
Brady Bogan
Genetically, their kids would technically be considered first cousins, but their DNA would be that of siblings.
Brett Vesely
So if twins marry twins and they identify twins.
Brady Bogan
Yep.
Brett Vesely
Wow. So their DNA would match like they were brother and sister. Just because the DNA of the double twins banging out and making. Yeah, twin. Twin kids. Oh, that's neat.
Brady Bogan
Wonder twins.
Brett Vesely
That's. I wonder if they have anything special going on in there we don't know about yet. Yet. That's cool.
Brady Bogan
Red Solo cups are a popular souvenir for European tourists to take home after they visit the U.S.
Brett Vesely
They don't have hillbilly cups in Europe?
Brady Bogan
I guess not.
Brett Vesely
What do they use?
Brady Bogan
I don't know.
Brett Vesely
I. I never been. It's.
Brady Bogan
It's a third world.
Brett Vesely
It's always been class.
Brady Bogan
I don't know.
Brett Vesely
I don't say third World.
John Holmberg
Thurnberg.
Brett Vesely
They called the Europe a third world. My. Like Toledo's coming around. Third world Europeans, well, they probably just have those little snow cone cups. He's right. So it's all environmentally sound and stuff.
Brady Bogan
You'll drink from a real stein or nothing.
Brett Vesely
You'll never.
Brady Bogan
Glass or nothing.
Brett Vesely
Drink from this knock on cap or a real glass like a man.
Brady Bogan
Even the To Go cups are glass sacrament.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. What do they put things? Styrofoam, I guess. That's worse. But they don't put. I guess To Go's aren't in red Solo cups.
Brady Bogan
Food would have to.
Brett Vesely
I mean, Europe would push that away.
Brady Bogan
There are McDonald's, but those are.
Brett Vesely
We're not saying they're against plastic. They just don't have red Solo cups. That's weird.
Brady Bogan
The average fast food burger contains meat from around 55 different cows.
Brett Vesely
Okay, I just got this email based on the dental hygiene story I told earlier. Guy said, my wife's a hygienist. And I'm not kidding. She regularly finds pubes in people's teeth. No, regularly.
Brady Bogan
Nice try.
Brett Vesely
Even if she does, what kind of dentist office is that? What kind of clientele do you have that come in? I think. You know, I think he answered your question. Who bites down on the pubes to get it in between their teeth?
John Holmberg
Is that Roosevelt Road dentistry or what?
Brett Vesely
Well, no, because they don't even have teeth.
Brady Bogan
If you get to get up on.
Brett Vesely
The Strip or whatever in Glendale.
Brady Bogan
What's that place called?
Brett Vesely
You could floss With a bridge rope. If those people. That's not a thing. You leave me alone with it. You know what? Stop listening to my show. I'm gonna. I'm gonna Stern. Everybody that does stuff like that. I'm tired of these people. Red Robin. I'm sick and tired of these people that email in and make me feel uncomfortable stuff. Stop. Stop listening to the. To the Stern show. Poor man Stern can't deal with that kind of stuff.
Brady Bogan
Illinois just became the first state to ban AI therapists. People could still use chat GPT like on their own if they want, but licensed therapists just can't use it to make therapeutic decisions.
Brett Vesely
Nobody should use it to make a.
Brady Bogan
Decision or communicate with patients.
Brett Vesely
Should do it to educate. Why not?
Brady Bogan
If they do, they get fined $10,000 per violation.
Brett Vesely
That's dumb. When you do, don't be like Warner Brothers and Columbia and everybody else back in 1999. A better technology has shown up. Embrace it. Don't fight it. My therapist talks about AI all the time, and I'm grateful for that because she did all that study and all that book learning, and now it's all in the palm of her hand by just asking. It would be like asking a person who knows anything for real.
Brady Bogan
Some of it stemmed from last year. They had a therapy chat bot talk to a fictional patient, including a former addict named Pedro, and it ended up telling Pedro, it's absolutely clear you need a small hit of meth to get through this week.
Brett Vesely
Well, that's a bad therapist that just said it. No, that's a goof. And you have to. You can look through. I'm all for my therapist using AI all day. And if AI gives a good suggestion, run with it. If it doesn't, that's where your human brain should come in and go. I'm not sure I agree with that. It doesn't mean it's the end all. If you're black and white in AI, then you're going to run into these problems, but very rarely. I'm guessing AI isn't like rampant about, you should try meth.
John Holmberg
That Apache Junction AI.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, like that Grok thing might tell you that Hitler was right. Try some math. But you have to be discerning with how you use it. But it is a great techno. We're telling. We talked about that the other day. Kids aren't allowed to use AI in school. Why? That's their future. Teach them. That's changing. That's changing. It has to change.
Brady Bogan
Especially because teachers are using it.
John Holmberg
Their teachers are learning how to incorporate it.
Brady Bogan
It's the future.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like telling people, no, you can't use it is stopping them from learning how this thing's going. I think that's it. You hit on it. You're just trying to figure out how to make kids learn from AI and not have it do the work for you. Use it to do the work for you and learn. It's going to do the work for you. How do we adapt to that? The next generation has to learn it. They can't dismiss it. Our generation and the one underneath us can't act like, oh, this is not how we learned. No, it isn't. I don't get it. It's. And having seen it with Napster in the smallest kind of comparison, and watched the music industry and radio and everybody else crap on an idea that was clearly better. And then Apple came along and said, not only is it better now, it's streamlined and it's going to change everything. You guys fought, and it did. And the industries that fought it are dying, and the ones that embraced it are thriving. AI is the exact same thing. And I don't understand why people don't understand that. Oh. Oh, God. It happened right on the hills of an awesome talk. Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. All right, that'll be the real test. There we go. They said our phones got fixed yesterday after you guys broke them.
John Holmberg
Yeah, right.
Brett Vesely
602-585-9800. Tenth caller. Ho, ho, ho, ho. Right in the middle of it. There it is. Pantera. The walk on stage. You get to do it as long as you're sober. You will be breathalyzed by Brett Vesley. And we'll get you up there with Pantera walking from the dressing room to the stage. Plop you down there in the photo pit. Get to watch an amazing show. Get some. Get some swag on your way out the door and have a story for a long time that most people don't have. Emailer just fired in said man, the old days of getting backstage with rock stars, you had to have a bag of cocaine. Now you got to know Brett Vesley. That's all it takes. And win a contest. So good luck. Tenth caller, right now. Brett o' man, the first phones.
Brady Bogan
A Gen Z's Gen Z intern's email to her boss is going viral. Because she didn't ask. She told him that she was taking a few days off. And the reason was my energy feels a little off.
Brett Vesely
That's not a reason to go to stop anything.
Brady Bogan
Said she'd be out from July 28th to the 30th and end it with. We'll talk to you soon. Bye.
Brett Vesely
Where'd she go? Vegas.
Brady Bogan
Super long weekend.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Who knows?
Brett Vesely
But she had plans.
Brady Bogan
The guy who posted it titled the post, Corporate world is not ready for Gen Z.
John Holmberg
These goddamn things don't work.
Brett Vesely
I knew it. Because we switched back to this terrible technology.
John Holmberg
One call through and then the rest of them. Yeah, so.
Brett Vesely
All right, well, we'll keep trying. Taste your time. Yeah, Brett will keep going and he'll get to you. Eventually. I'd have to go to text. No, it. They're ringing. It just doesn't. It's the same problem it was before. I know. That's what I'm saying. Essentially, yesterday, when they broke completely, our IT wizards came up and our phone wizards came up and they're like, oh, they're down completely. Let's fix them back into the unworking piles of. They used to be they actually somehow or another shut off were as effective as they are now. You'll get there, Brad. Don't worry about it. Unbelievable. Reset the whole thing and let it breathe. Yeah, you got it. Yeah, you gotta.
John Holmberg
It's not digital anymore. What the hell?
Brett Vesely
No, it is digital. We went back to the digital.
John Holmberg
I thought we went back to analog.
Brett Vesely
No, that was just while they were fixing it.
John Holmberg
Well, go back to that.
Brett Vesely
Which made me realize we still have access to the old working phones, but because the technology isn't cool, we don't use it. It works.
John Holmberg
Why don't we use Morris code at this.
Brett Vesely
You know what? If you can skyright. 10th caller. In the next few minutes with your plane and some smoke.
John Holmberg
Yeah, you win.
Brett Vesely
Contrail the words 10th caller. Yeah, Brett's gonna. Brett's gonna break something. You know what would be good? What? If you just broke it. If we had a whoopsie. I'm turning my head right now.
John Holmberg
Phone systems are whoopsie.
Brett Vesely
Brett, I'm gonna look to my left over here where Brady is. And if anything happens, them phones. I can't see nothing. Don't get so loud about it, though. Turn your mic off. This is ridiculous.
Brady Bogan
We got a Catholic priest in trouble, probably South Carolina. At St. Ann Catholic Church, he was busted for soliciting a prostitute. It was outside the church.
Brett Vesely
Oh, yeah, that's where the hookers are.
Brady Bogan
He's placed on leave. The Catholic Church can investigate further.
Brett Vesely
Hey.
Brady Bogan
Father Clemente.
Brett Vesely
This is growth in the Catholic Church, Brady. They used to nab kids in Bangam, and now they're actually going to the professionals.
Brady Bogan
He Was approached or he approached. Actually it was at 1am on Monday. Jaquavius Brinson, 20 years old.
Brett Vesely
That's the priest, that's the prostitute. Oh, it was a boy prostitute. Well, he's got a long ways.
Brady Bogan
20 years old.
Brett Vesely
All right, so it's. Maybe they haven't grown as much as I thought. Still better than 8 though. At least it's legal. Still gross. But yeah, by the way, this guy emails in and says, preach on, John Advocate. Teaching the kids the AI before AI starts to teach them. That's an excellent way to put that because it's going to be the easiest way to fool them if you don't teach them how it works early and what the warning signs are of when they're. When it's indoctrinating you. Teach them to have the ability to reason with AI but dismissing it completely is going to make it the all knowing, all powerful Oz. And everything it says is going to be fact. Until you teach it that that's not the case, your kids are going to just be slaves to it. What's in my back of my brain. So the conspiracy theory in me believes kind of its design to enslave its own generation. Like if we don't keep an eye on that and stay ahead of that, it will very quickly take over our brains because we're lazy.
Brady Bogan
Starting next Tuesday, McDonald's will have an adult Happy Meal called the McDonaldland's Meal, which is a throwback from 30 years ago. It comes with your choice of a quarter pounder or ten piece chicken nugget fries and a collectible souvenir for an adult, like postcards, stickers, other treats, lame stuff. McDonaldland is the place where the characters come from. It was originally introduced in 1971 but was phased out in the early 2000s. The other thing, one of the McDonald's advertising execs confirmed previous, previous reports that Grimace is not just a random purple blob. Did you know what Grimace was or represented?
Brett Vesely
I think we've gone over this before.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, I didn't really. You know, obviously the purple milkshake is one thing, but Grimace is supposed to be a taste bud.
Brett Vesely
That's. Oh, that's right. Right. I knew that.
Brady Bogan
The other last thing in food news is there's an ice cream company, Frida is the name. It's a parent company and they've got Odd Fellows ice cream. They made a small batch of breast milk tasting ice cream.
Brett Vesely
Oh, it tastes like breast milk. It's not made of breast.
Brady Bogan
No, they couldn't actually use that yes, they could. They could, but.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. Why not?
Brady Bogan
I don't. I don't know if it'd be if the USDA would approve that or. I don't know.
John Holmberg
I hear what you're saying, but, I.
Brady Bogan
Mean, they've approved some other.
Brett Vesely
Is it because. Because some people might have the AIDS or something? Yeah, yeah. Cows don't have AIDS because they didn't dabble in that kind of behavior. Oh, they didn't. Bulls don't do that. They don't.
John Holmberg
Okay.
Brett Vesely
They'd fight. One might get a poke in, but, yeah, that gay bull would be handled later. Not saying that's the way we need to handle. I'm just saying that's how bulls are. Are. There's no gay bulls, and you can't milk a bull anyway.
Brady Bogan
They say the.
Brett Vesely
Well, you can, but it's different. Milk.
Brady Bogan
The breast milk is sweet, a little salty, smooth with hints of honey and sprinkles of colostrum.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, it tastes great. Tastes like. I've said it before. It tastes like Sugar Pops. The milk at the end of a bowl of Sugar Pops.
Brady Bogan
It's got a yellow tinge to it. It looks like it's, like, French phenolic.
Brett Vesely
You call it what you want. It does. It has, like, a little bit of a. Off. Yellow fires right in your mouth. By the way, yesterday was the anniversary of the 20th anniversary of me taking that milk shot from that lady right here in the studio when she shot it. August 5, 2005. She fired over milk right into my throat. And now that one has. And now that baby. Yeah, and she wants to bring that in here. We're trying to. We still have the number. We got to get hold of that. I gave it to you. Call her. You didn't give it to me. Yeah, I did. That guy that dropped off all that water gave it to us. Oh, for crying out loud. He lost the milk lady. I thought Brady had it. Why would he talk to her? Well, he did talk to her. Do you still have it?
Brady Bogan
I might.
Brett Vesely
Off the. Look. Christ's sake. I need AI Priorities. What you got, Brett?
John Holmberg
We finally got one.
Brett Vesely
Who is it?
John Holmberg
Bronson Mitchum of Phoenix.
Brett Vesely
Does he sound like an alcoholic? Not yet, okay?
John Holmberg
But he's got the potential, all right.
Brett Vesely
Bronson Mitchum. Some guy just sent me some skywriting that says 10th calling. You're using A.I. i appreciate that, Tanner, but it doesn't work. Bronson won. He has now got the golden ticket and possibly will be marching Pantera on stage. He's got tickets to the show. We might do it again. There's a chance that happens again before 10 o'. Clock. I know because I like to watch Brett Workar. Hey, they just got fixed yesterday.
John Holmberg
Yeah, they work real well.
Brett Vesely
I think that's a ruse. I think they told you they were. Yeah, did you hear them? Fixed technology isn't always better.
John Holmberg
You unplug it and reboot it. A Commodore 64 reboots faster than these phones. This is ridiculous.
Brett Vesely
Well, ironically, that's what we're using.
John Holmberg
I wouldn't doubt it. Unbelievable.
Brett Vesely
Oh, they're so excited about these phones. For 10 years they haven't worked right once. But because the technology is so much better.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, but is it?
Brett Vesely
No, because it doesn't work. If it worked, it would be better. No, because that's what they say. It's annoying. No, it's the future of phones. Like, the future of phones is that they don't work again. I always go back to this. Al Qaeda planned 9, 11 in caves in Afghanistan on cell phones. And we can't get these phones in Phoenix in 2025 to even come close to working. And they. They try to. They try to patch it in the ego and go. It's because you get so many callers, it shuts down. I'm like, it never used to happen before. Our phones never just broke because we had too many calls. That's its only job, is to take a lot of calls. Calls and it can't handle it.
John Holmberg
Guadalupe phones worked real well and we.
Brett Vesely
Had tons of calls then too. Yeah, this is like a hooker that's allergic to dick. Like, you're useless to me.
Brady Bogan
How can we take pledges, right?
Brett Vesely
That's right.
John Holmberg
Can we do a GoFundMe for our phones?
Brett Vesely
No, because we couldn't get any calls. You have to do it online. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Technology, the real one that works versus the thing they're trying to fix up. Dummies. I getting calls at home yesterday, they're fixing the phones. I'm like, is this cuz I was bitching about it? No, they actually shut down completely. But they'll be up tomorrow. I'm like, will they. Will they work or they'll be up tomorrow doing the exact same thing I was bitching about. They'll be fixed tomorrow. Okay. So they're doing exactly what they're designed to do, which is not work very well.
Brady Bogan
Got a couple of Brady videos. First one's A two. Taking a punch in slow motion.
Brett Vesely
Okay. These are always. Oh, and the side of the temple. Holy smokes. Guy just threw us straight into his temple. His eye should have popped out. Oof. His whole face got. That's a real punch.
Brady Bogan
I think so.
Brett Vesely
Well, yeah. No, there's no questions. There's no way a face would do that without. And that's the worst place to punch a guy who's not expecting it is in the temple. It can kill him. Hol's morning sickness. Yikes. Wow.
Brady Bogan
Next one is the Spirit. Halloween stores are open pretty special.
Brett Vesely
It's a corpse. It's a woman who's a. She's been the dead. Kill it. Kill it again. It's singing to us. It's singing some.
John Holmberg
That's the reason for hijabs there.
Brett Vesely
Yes, exactly. Yeah. Move her over to a country that requires a hijab. 98. KUPD brings you Hailstorm. I've never seen something as deformed as this. Stomp it out. Oh, great. Taylor Swift isn't done yet. That is Taylor Swift. Before the makeup, though. I'm gonna have bad dreams.
Brady Bogan
Last one's barnacle hands.
Brett Vesely
And you still believe in God? All right. Oh, my God. What is that? What's on them ticks? He's got barnacles. Are they real barnacles? Yeah, he's got. And they're, like, breaking free. And there's bugs. All he's got a hand loaded with some sort of strange C Tick. Yuck. I don't know how that even happens. Well, he's got a whole bag of them. It's no wonder.
Brady Bogan
Puts his hands in there.
Brett Vesely
Oh, it is ticks. It's ticks. Those are ticks? Yeah, they're all fat ticks. And he put his hand in a bag of ticks. Dumb. The Internet.
Brady Bogan
Undefeated.
Brett Vesely
A lot of views. We're looking at him. Bago Ticks. It's a great Halloween costume. All right, Brett, what do you got?
John Holmberg
All right, let's start out with some Maryvale action here.
Brett Vesely
Okay. Going to Maryvale for a second. Him. Oh, Jesus. Just fight. A guy just starts punching abroad. She's punching him back. The girl has got the upper hand. It's Asians. So they're about the same size. Asians do not grow much bigger. Man or woman. They're almost all the same.
Brady Bogan
Thailand. Maryville.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, same thing. It's the Maryvale of Thailand. The woman has the upper hand here. Or at least the lady. Boy, she is pounding on the guy who's wearing shorts I think I used to own when I was in sixth grade grade. Terry cloth, green and yellow.
John Holmberg
She is effing him.
Brett Vesely
She beat the crap out of that man. And again, in that country, they all weigh 121 pounds, so. Men and women.
John Holmberg
All right, that's. We talked about gynecologists earlier.
Brett Vesely
All right, here's a man. Jesus Christ.
Brady Bogan
I can't watch that again.
Brett Vesely
Oh, one more time. Brady's against Cunningus. So he didn't like that part.
Brady Bogan
That kind.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, that game. Well, no, he threw up after. He didn't throw up on it.
John Holmberg
We going to play by play?
Brett Vesely
I'm trying. That means he's in there chowing down on a broad. And then, I mean, I think you hear what happens. He throws up all over. She needs to wash that. Okay, I told you the story of the old busboy Bronson. He worked at Tony Roma's, and he came to me. He had a very funny voice. John, what do you do with a girl besides, you know, sex? My God. He was. Oh, you got to get down there, man.
John Holmberg
Nothing.
Brett Vesely
Chow down and you get all excited. I could tell what to do. Just go down there and just, like, spell your name with your tongue or something. Just go. Just do something sick.
Brady Bogan
Philly.
Brett Vesely
Okay. Took her hiking up Camelback Mountain, and he took her back to the house. He's like, I'm gonna try that thing John was talking about. And he went down there, and then I see him the next time, he goes, I don't know how you do that. I'm like, why? We hiked Camelback Mountain and then had dinner and went back to her house. And I tried it. I got up immediately and brushed my teeth. I'm like, oh, I'm sure she was thrilled with that because I had to throw up. I'm like, well, you don't do it after a nice long hike. It was disgust. Disgusting. Yes. That thing is a swamp. If it's not clean, it's stagnant water in a Walmart parking lot if you don't scoop it up. He didn't go back down there for a while. He's the same one that I. He. He asked me what sex felt like, and I'm like, it's like. It's like if you just had a warm tube of lotion. Like, just. You know that. Oh, he took his sleeping bag, he squirted lotion all over it, rolled it up, put a hair dryer in the other end of it.
Brady Bogan
That's the dude.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. And then squirted more lotion in the spot he was. And he started to bang his sleeping bag, but he was hitting it so hard that he got too close and his tip went into the end of the hair dryer, onto those hot coils, and he. He toasted his wiener. Bronson wasn't smart like a glue gun. Ronson also had the. His brother ordered a male order bride. I told you that one. Yeah, that's good. She shows up, mows the grass, does all the stuff, has sex with him every day. And Ronson's like, I got get one of these orders, one up. And on the 90th day when she becomes able to leave, she was gonzo, like, couldn't find her. And Ronson was 10 days away from his delivery. So they just took a. Another 90 day maid, banged her into oblivion. Spent 10 grand to have a maid for three months. That was great. Yeah, Ronson did a lot of dumb stuff. And Ronson, he lived with his parents when they ordered Thai to come over and be their wives. And the dad was totally fine with it. I went over to the house once and saw the. He had a dog named Bridget. Bridget was the fattest dog I've ever seen. And I'm like, your dog is so fat. No, no, no. And every day for lunch, they'd go to McDonald's or Burger King and get Bridget a burger. And the Asian got a time for Go get Bridgie Burger. What the hell is she saying? Gotta go get Bridgie Burger. It was on her schedule to go get a Bridgie Burger. And she jetted out of there, I think on a bicycle, and then rode all the way to the burger.
John Holmberg
Stereotypes are right.
Brett Vesely
Oh, it was 100%. She showed up with a coolie hat, a rickshaw. She was all of it. She just had two bags like, are those your clothes? And she put them down. It was just rice, Nothing but rice. And she was a. And she just slaved away, mowed the grass every morning outside doing yard work, cooking, cleaning Bridgie Burgers at noon. And then 90 days later vanished without a trace. And her sister was on the way. I don't think they ever found her either. I don't know where she went, but it was great. I miss Ronson.
John Holmberg
Here's one. Mess around the hood. This is what happens.
Brett Vesely
All right. Oh, we've seen this one.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I'd love.
Brett Vesely
I don't know.
Brady Bogan
Oh, yeah.
Brett Vesely
Oh, geez. Somebody. Oh. Reaching through the mail slot of the front door.
Brady Bogan
Broken wrist.
Brett Vesely
And then James Harrison comes in and hits the hand that's reaching. Timing. And is it a machete or a bat?
John Holmberg
It's a bat club.
Brady Bogan
It's like a club looking machete at first, but yeah.
Brett Vesely
Oh, he breaks this dude's arm that's reaching through the mail slot. That's. That needs to be a scene in.
John Holmberg
The next Friday f around and find out. This is the best tattoo artist ever.
Brett Vesely
All right, we are.
Brady Bogan
Oh, what a glorious thing.
Brett Vesely
Oh, it's a tattoo on a PP and it's a pitchfork. And the best tattoo artist is doing that. Yeah, singing that. Singing the blowjob song from South Park.
John Holmberg
But she had to do it to get it ready.
Brady Bogan
She's still.
John Holmberg
She is going to tattoo it.
Brett Vesely
She is. You're right. She's got to make it hard to tattoo it.
Brady Bogan
Gotcha.
Brett Vesely
Is this. Does this go for all clients? Because I suddenly might want to tattoo.
John Holmberg
Maybe Flip was right.
Brett Vesely
I can still see a little bit of the COVID up poking out between the feathers. How about that? And she's putting a pitchfork on there. For come devils. They're up in town. And now this must be. This must be Sam Levitt's penis and Heisman candidate.
John Holmberg
We'll end with this one.
Brett Vesely
All right.
John Holmberg
You'll love this one.
Brett Vesely
The lady on down, squatting down close to the ground, naked nasty. Who needs my ass? All right. Thank you for that. She's a nasty who needs things done to her bottom. And the guy's doing it and he's going in there. All right. I don't know what we're looking at here. All right. This is going to be bad. All right.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, watch.
Brett Vesely
It's. You'll love this. All right. Oh, God, she just took his penis out of her butt and she's rubbing it around in her eyeball. I didn't know that was gonna happen. Oh, it's going in her eyeball. Oh, it's gonna. Oh, no, he's gonna finish. Oh, she's getting a sty. There's no. Oh, God, he's finishing. Right in the eye socks. I've seen this. Oh, my God, she's got the poop eye. She's poop eye. She's got the poop eye.
John Holmberg
So we'll end with that.
Brett Vesely
Come on, man. That's just dumb.
John Holmberg
I know you like eye stuff so.
Brett Vesely
You don't go ass to eye. Ass to mouth's bad enough, but ask the eye. We're 20 years away from that being something. Please, let's not leap from ass to eye. What's next, weirdos?
Brady Bogan
Band name.
Brett Vesely
What are you ask to. I is a good band name. What is next? You got to do it like it's.
John Holmberg
We got the snorting earlier, remember? That was a new Thing like it's.
Brett Vesely
A Philly soul thing where it's ass 2. And the letter I asked to I back up doing a little east coast swing. As to I going off, that's too much for me. I hate eye stuff. Anyway, congratulations to our champion. What was his name? Grayson something.
John Holmberg
Bronson.
Brett Vesely
Bronson. It was Bronson and I told the story of Ronson. Not same guy. Bronson. Congratulations. You are a winner. Winner. All the rest of you are winners every day thanks to the Brady report. It's 98. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I've heard enough of this.
John Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
Brett Vesely
Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. We must be having a lovely time this morning. It's flying by and we can keep this going. Brady's Saturday night celebration. Cinco de Wapo. Five years of Brett. Cinco de Brett. Brett's birthday is tomorrow. My birthday was two weeks ago. Toledo's was the 20th of January. And you're still here. So we are celebrating for no reason whatsoever. And the show's 24th anniversary is on the 2026th or 7th of this month. There's a lot going on, so we might as well raise our glasses and have a good time. We're doing it at the Rooster and here's what I found out yesterday. I knew this, but I forgot this. Slipped my mind. I'm gonna tell everybody. Just show up. They are shutting the bar down for us.
John Holmberg
Thanks.
Brett Vesely
And they got the Humane Society involved because they know the show and they're like, we're gonna charge people 20 bucks ahead to get in and get Humane side is getting them money. I'm like, that's not going to stop anybody. So rooster Saturday at 9. No, there's a. There's a cover charge at the door of 20 bucks. And they're going to knock out the Humane Society with a big check at the end. So it's technically all for a great cause. I'd forgotten that they'd talked about that. So I've been saying just show up because it's kind of how I feel about this whole night. It's just going to be a free for all. Goof, goof off. They are charging 20 bucks at the door, which is great because it only holds like 100 and something people. Rooster's going to be a party center Saturday. Cinco De Brett, Cinco de Juapo, and Wapo. Spanish means handsome.
John Holmberg
Well, there you go.
Brett Vesely
So there you go, Brett. Congrats. I'm not necessarily talking about you. I'm just saying, five of handsome. I don't know if that's a thing. And then, of course, we're gonna play. Van's gonna play songs from movie soundtracks. Vision Quest. You're gonna like that. Lunatic Fringe is in there breaking stupid stuff. Kenny Wagin. Never in a movie.
John Holmberg
Surprisingly, man.
Brett Vesely
And then the more you go on, the more you realize that we could have done it. And we don't want to hear it, by the way. You should have done. You should. There's. We'd be there for days if we were picking up, you know. Oh, my God, it would be never ending. There's so many. So we picked ones we just kind of wanted to goof with. But we got some fun ones up there, too, so head on down there. Roosters on Saturday, celebrating my belated birthday, Brett's birthday, Brett's fifth anniversary, the show's 24th anniversary. Toledo. And of course, Brady still being here. Another year of Brady.
Brady Bogan
We call it Pop Pops Alive.
Brett Vesely
Anya, what is that? Uno de anos el Brady. I don't know. Why does it have to be Spanish? One year of Brady. One more year of year Brady. But I can't wait. We're gonna have a good time out there, so prepare yourselves for a drunken disaster. That's what we're preparing for. How about this? Kellen Cooper. This is one of those life hacks emails in. We had the little discussion there of, like, when you're driving around with your. It can be a guy, too. Most of the time, it's the woman. When you're trying to figure out where to eat dinner. Even if you're just door dashing and you say, I don't care. Wherever. Yeah, and then the argument of, well, I don't care either. It's like. Well, just pick something. It's like. You say pizza. No, I had pizza for lunch. Oh, okay. Like sushi. No, I don't want any of that to. Okay, well, what do you want? I don't care. Chicken wings. No, I don't like. I don't want anything messy, make my stomach hurt. Soup. Come on, be serious. What do you want? Kellen has a brilliant fix to this.
John Holmberg
I hope so.
Brett Vesely
Ladies, turn your radios off. I don't want the ladies listening anymore. Turn them off.
Brady Bogan
I did have something happen on Saturday when we were talking about the door dash for dinner, Ronnie and I, first time it's ever happened.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Don't know if it'll happen again. She said, just pick something and order and hand it to me and I'll find something. On that same. You pick the.
Brett Vesely
Oh, you just pick the place. And she'll find something. She did exactly what normally they say, I don't care. That's outstanding. I'm usually on the other end because women are the ones that have all this.
Brady Bogan
Usually it's going down the line.
John Holmberg
Usually it's a trap.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, they've got, like.
Brady Bogan
They know what they don't.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, yeah. This one's got, like, cauliflower issues or can't have sauce on Tuesday, my doctor said that my eyes will explode if I eat noodles. Like, they've got all the food needs. They're the ones who bloat. They're the ones who get weird. Yeah. You know, we all have heard. I never once heard Brett go, I can't do that. Bloated guys don't do it. And I know that's not fair, ladies, but enough with the bloating. Stop it. Didn't your mother teach you anything? That this was part of your future? Like, you all do it. How come you don't have a plan? You know Chipotle? No, Chipotle is too heavy. Like, so Kellen's idea is brilliant.
Brady Bogan
Take a swig out of your pro.
Brett Vesely
Listen to this. Yeah, yeah. Get it. Drink some probiotics, take 6,000 pills that some healer gave you, and still later, I'm about it. Like, it doesn't work.
John Holmberg
Go to your goddamn life coach.
Brett Vesely
Nothing he's doing is working. Nothing you're doing is working.
Brady Bogan
Life coach. Rub your belly.
Brett Vesely
I had a salad and there was a shrimp in it. You had 6 million pills. Maybe they make you bloat. Bloating. This one says, the secret is you just tell her you have a surprise for her and say, I'm taking it at a dinner night. Guess where we're going. And the first thing she says, say, yep, genius. I'm gonna take you to dinner. I got a surprise for you. Where do you think we're going? Oh, my God. Hellstone. Yup. And then you go to dinner with her. It's over. Whatever she says, take her there, you'll get no complaining. If she bloats later, it's her fault. This is great. Now it might be a problem if she always picks super expensive places because no dude ever goes. Got a surprise for you tonight. Gonna take you to dinner. Guess where. Hillston Panda Express. Like, that's not. Not on her menu. That's a great move, Kellen. Very smart. You manipulate the situation where she actually makes a decision and she doesn't even know that's what just happened. What? Wait.
Brady Bogan
Oh, wait.
Brett Vesely
We're going out tonight. Oh, my God. It's gonna be special. I've got reservations. What? Oh, my God. Where you guess? Oh, my God. This is amazing. Taco Madeira? Yep. Yep. Just John C. Riley. Yep. That's where we're going.
Brady Bogan
Oh, wait, I don't.
Brett Vesely
I'm going to wreck it. We're going to Toca Madera and we're going to have dinner together like I planned. Oh, my God, you're so thoughtful. Yep. Did we just become best friends? Yep. And then on the other conversation of the gynecologist, this guy says, john, we all knew a gynecologist, a friend of ours, and we told him, come on, man, how many of them are nice ones? Give me a number, because you got to see some nice ones. He said 80% of them are not fresh or clean. Oh, the bigger women, especially. Evidently, the dude didn't answer right away. I've been waiting for you guys to ask me that. 80%. 8 of 10. Not fresh or clean. It's. He said, especially the bigger women. They sweat and have bacteria in the folds, and it wafts out if they don't.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I think I'd be a teacher now.
Brett Vesely
Yep. If they don't shave it, it holds the sweat and stench. He said that. Think of a woman whose house is a mess and she wears the same sweatpants at least four days a week. She doesn't clean up properly in her house or down there at all. No way. Way. So we went from excited to hear Holy Bread. Yeah. We went from excited to hear his stories to horrified and sad. Have a great one. To my favorite boys. And Toledo. I just thought of this. I'm wondering if gynecologists name them Sweatpants, cuz when a woman quits, that's all she wears. If you got a wife, that's all she wears. She's quit. She wears sweatpants. And the gynecologist is like, oh, God, she wears sweatpants. She's quit. And the reason he calls him sweatpants is because that's what he's got to deal with now. It's the swampy nature of alligator Alcatraz that's living down there.
John Holmberg
Does he put the Old Spice in the rag like Roy Scheider and Jaws when he's chumming?
Brett Vesely
That's actually probably a good idea. He just got it on a stick and a washcloth. What are you doing, doctor? Don't worry about it. There. Sweatpants. We got you.
Brady Bogan
Too expensive. Just a clothes pin.
Brett Vesely
All right, we're going in. We're going in. Yeah. If you're wearing sweatpants. Same sweatpants. More than four days in a week. Your gynecologist named your pants. I did. I always wondered why they were called sweatpants. That doesn't seem because of gynecologist sweating those pants. It's a gynecologist pants.
Brady Bogan
Regular pants.
Brett Vesely
No, because it's for women who've quit on their lives and they only wear sweatpants. And it's four days a week of swamping out in those things and then dropping that bomb on their gyna. Oh, she's wearing those pants. Well, you know, the ones that they sweat in all week. They're. They're. I guess they wear them. Their sweatpants and then it took off.
Brady Bogan
All because of the sweatshirt.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, I don't know. I guess sweatshirts probably.
Brady Bogan
They're always a calm.
Brett Vesely
Gynecologist didn't name that. Not always. You can use sweatpants by themselves. I know when women wear sweatshirts and sweatpants that. That's a dude. But if she's. Yeah.
Brady Bogan
The sweat of the same material.
Brett Vesely
But the gynecologist named the sweatpants for sure. There's no question. It's no question. This one says, john, you fixed something in my life. You introduced me to life from a hat. That was my plan years ago. Is to have several scenarios in a hat. A top hat, preferably place somewhere in your house. And then when you're like, you want to play life from a hat Hat. You reach. It's. It's from Whose Line is It Anyway? Life from a hat. Except for it's your wife and you doing fun stuff. And you reach into the hat and you pull out an idea for the night. Sometimes it's like sensual massage. And sometimes it's barbecue at Brady's house. It's. It's always barbecue.
Brady Bogan
It's nine. Nine out of the ten.
Brett Vesely
And each of you write down ten different things you want to do and you plop them in there. And all the sexual ones are the guy and all the like, let's make a candle are the girl. And sometimes you get lucky. But you gotta reach into life from a hat. And hopefully it's like blowjobs with two fingers in me or sipping wine and painting. I wonder who wrote that. So you kind of get an idea of which one is what. Sometimes you win, sometimes you Don't. But it's chance, he said. My former wife loved it. A couple of the girls I've dated have enjoyed it as well. Well, it ain't working for you, Nicholas. I'm hearing a lot of breakfast hiccups I've done and see things I would have never done. Expanded on this, expounded on this one hat has a running hat of restaurants. We want to try another hat. I have get new times and write down all the events that are happening that day. Then you pick a place and you eat. And then one of the events that's happening. That's a pretty good idea too. And then you got to have a sex hat. Right? You got.
Brady Bogan
What's this?
Brett Vesely
Dirty, dirty sex hat.
Brady Bogan
Title 9 WNBA.
Brett Vesely
That'd be fun watching. I'd be all over that viewing party. You married a lesbian. You didn't even know it until you drew her. Title 9 viewing party.
John Holmberg
And you draw to your head, it says, call Cordell and Cordell immediately.
Brett Vesely
Divorce lawyer chats. It's fun. Mine. Reach in. It's like, change your sweatpants day.
John Holmberg
Burn your sweatpants.
Brett Vesely
Let's burn all of our sweatpants. Some of those guys out there would be like, that is a great idea. Things to do today. Life from a hat. It's a good idea. Although it sounds like, Nicholas, that your ex wife and a couple of girls you've dated. Life from a hat might only be working for you.
Brady Bogan
But he's, you know, he had a good run with it.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. Brady has the right idea. When asking what his wife wants for dinner, he usually just says, time for dinner. I'm going to Seven Brothers. What? Cars running.
Brady Bogan
If you want in, you want something, text me.
Brett Vesely
That's probably it. Yeah. You probably don't have a lot of those conversations. I don't care. What do you want to eat? Everything. Seven Brothers pie. That's a good idea. Anyway. That's good stuff right there. Thank you to your life hacks from the listeners. How about that listener life hacks X still might do another Pantera. I'm in the mood to maybe double down on it. We'll see. We'll see. Possibly. In the meantime, we got a Rock wars coming up next. It's 98.
Brady Bogan
It's not weird.
Brett Vesely
It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this. Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. There you go. Thank you. Drowning pool. Not doing that one on the birthday celebration. The Cinco Dew up cinco de Brett Five years of Brett, 53 years of.
Brady Bogan
Me, even though it wasn't Triple X.
Brett Vesely
I know we talked about this. Trust me, it was in there. Like, have we done it, man? We might throw it in there at the end if we're drunk enough. People are asking me where Roosters is. It's in North Scottsdale. It's like Tatum and Thunderbird area.
John Holmberg
I don't know Scottsdale Road. I think it's right by the Shane Company and stuff.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, okay, you're right. That is okay. It is Scottsdale. Yeah, you're right. Okay. Yeah, Scottsdale. And the only time I was there, I don't remember it.
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, that's a good night then.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, we had a good time, but I do not remember that night very well at all. I know Kevin Ray was there. I know we had some chats. A lot of money got thrown around, and then it was over. And I'm like, I don't know what happened, but we'll go back and do it all over again if I can find it because I forgot where it is. It's Scottsdale. And, yeah, it's a coma, thereabouts. It's right by the Shane Company. So head on up to Roosters. That'll be fun. Saturday night. Get on it. Brett, you won Rock wars last time. Do you have a topic for us right. Right now?
John Holmberg
Yeah, sure.
Brett Vesely
Why not? All right, go ahead.
John Holmberg
All right, let's. Let's do. Let's do a song that describes.
Brett Vesely
Do.
John Holmberg
Talking about what you want for dinner with the wife.
Brett Vesely
Oh, my God.
John Holmberg
Like something that just kind of like.
Brett Vesely
A theme song for the never ending husband, wife battle of what's for dinner?
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett Vesely
Where do you want to go? Okay.
John Holmberg
It's kind of the whole mood and everything, you know, Set that theme.
Brett Vesely
Put it to work like, once this argument starts. Just start the song. Yep. Let her know. Okay, here we go. I gotcha. We're playing the game. I kind of like that idea. If you want to help out. Holmergate98kupd.com I'm banning Pantera, obviously. Metallica, Slayer, Closer for some reason. And then also all Weird Al Yankovic. Brady, put your phone down. All Weird Al Yankovic is gone. Eat it cannot be used. Don't have do it. I'm fat. Not a thing. So you can help us out. H9008kupd.com you can text 97936. Don't bother calling. It's just a. Yeah, it's a waste of time. The phones are a mess. But you can. You can try if you want 585. 9800. Probably not going to work. And we'll find out what our Rock War selections are. My brain is spinning. It's 98K upd. Morning sickness. 98. Can you. Morning sickness. It's time for the weekly battle of musical supremacy known as Rock Wars. And it's brought to you by our friends at mo Money Pawn, 12th street and Indian School. Mo Money Pawn shorter long term collateral loans from $10 to over 100,000American dollars. No credit needed. Top dollar paid. The entire process. Just take moamoneypawn.com 12th street and Indian School. Brett's topic this week, based on the conversation we had about that never ending age old argument of what do you want to eat? I don't care. Pick a place. Sushi brokers. No. Hillstone? No. Blue Water Grill. No. Aftermath? No. Gonna kill you.
Brady Bogan
Persian ruin room.
Brett Vesely
No. But you know what? You should lead with the person room, because you know what? Nobody ever wants Indian food first.
Brady Bogan
I don't care. That's what I. I come back with restaurants like, what do you want?
John Holmberg
I don't want to take it.
Brett Vesely
A mirror.
John Holmberg
Now.
Brett Vesely
Persian room. Right? If you hit him with the Persian, we're like, all right, I better start making some choices. This dude's nuking the conversation. Good idea. There actually is to hit him over the head with something absolutely no one wants, which is Persian food. No. White. At least. Least. I mean, if you're married to, like, Amir K. He'll go with you, but outside of that. Yeah, you got. That's a good one. Could you imagine that if you told Mathias, where do you want to eat tonight? And you're like, I don't care. And then she goes, persian room. All right. We're getting pizza like you. Somebody's making a choice. Here. Let me give you Brady's number. By the way, you can meet Brady over there. I want to talk to Poon. Toppy. Top Top. I understand he's running the grill back there. You ever see Brady sitting on his Instagram page with seven plates of. Of mush from that dump?
Brady Bogan
Soon.
Brett Vesely
I know that's the word. Nobody wants to meet you there. I run a thing called Brady's Morning Cup. We do not care, my friend. Take a table and get out. I just thought maybe I could meet the owner and get some of your slop for free. What do you have to trade, my friend? Barbecue. So get out. All right, Brett, who would you like to go first?
John Holmberg
Brady was so quick on the gun today. He's never that Fast. So we'll start with Brady.
Brady Bogan
It just reverberates in my mind. The first song that came to my was Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. I need to know.
Brett Vesely
There'S urgency.
John Holmberg
That's pretty good though.
Brett Vesely
For him.
Brady Bogan
I'm hangry. And every time we go, what's we gotta do something for dinner.
Brett Vesely
Urgency, making me wait. Even me. A great song. It is a great. You know, Tom Petty was 35 in the traveling Wilberries. Was he.
Brady Bogan
Was he the youngest?
Brett Vesely
Yes. Of that crew?
Brady Bogan
He might have been.
John Holmberg
And he looked like one of the oldest.
Brett Vesely
I think the oldest one was Roy Orson. At the time he was like 52. We had. We're all older than the Traveling.
Brady Bogan
He was the youngest dude.
Brett Vesely
That's a good one, Brady. Nice job. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Sometimes we could say we look better than the Traveling.
Brett Vesely
My God, so true. True. All right. That was. I like that one, Brady. Well done. The urgency. The. The meaning behind. Hey, where do you want to eat? And still I don't know. Well, I need to know. I need to know. You're making me wait. You're driving me seven brothers like the door slam. You can't. Can't get out of there fast enough. All right, you want me to go next? Yeah, go ahead. All right. Mine is just a thing. Just like. Let's just go. You know how I like to look at you. I like to pick this band because it makes people upset. Nickelback. Something in your mouth. If it isn't food, it's gonna be something else. You better start making choices, lady. I'll feed you. I like Nickelback. I'm a fan. I say it proudly. It's like coming out of the closet. It's almost like you have to tell your parents. Guys didn't sit everybody down. Happy Thanksgiving. I love Nickelback. Oh, not that. No. Yeah, no, I do. I can't let you know. I knew this would happen. I told you, honey. I told you. Yeah, sure knew you was life boy. All right, Brett, go ahead.
John Holmberg
Nice Christmas story.
Brett Vesely
Thank you. All right.
John Holmberg
This is. This has been an age old problem. I mean, in the Gibb brothers, you know, sang about it in the 70s and the DG's. Oh, you're the Foo Fighters did. Tragedy.
Brett Vesely
Cuz. It's a tragedy.
John Holmberg
The whole situation is a tragedy.
Brett Vesely
The Foo Fighters, great stuff.
John Holmberg
You're going nowhere because you're sitting there.
Brett Vesely
Arguing the entire time. All right. It is tragic. It is the whole situation, the whole event that in the history of man. We still haven't solved this problem. Nope. Imagine caves. They'd be like burp for dinner. Don't care, dear. No. Had deer for lunch. Damn it. I need to know this tragedy put something in mouth. They're all winners. Yeah. All right, now you vote Holmberg@98kupd.com or text 97936. You can call 585-9800. Who? Yeah, yeah. We'll decide it in moments. Who will win Rock Wars? Brett chose Tragedy by the foo DGs. Brady chose Tom Petty. I need to know. And I chose Nickelback. Something in your mouth. Let's fix this. It's 98. Morning sickness. Medicate morning sickness. Clary's just gonna yell at us for something. Poked his head in and left. He never does that. It is time 9:45 for Rock wars to commence. And the choices for the topic that Brett chose this week, which is a theme song for the age old argument between husband and wife, or husband and husband or wife and wife. Who knows? Nowadays I wonder if lesbians have that. What do you want to eat? Blue Water Grill. Me too. I bet you they never fight over what to eat each other. Gays probably have this talk a lot, but the heterosexual couples have been doing it since the beginning of time. And we need a theme song for that argument about where do you want to eat? And then the 10 minutes of deciding that the words I don't care you choose will be narrowed down to a very specific choice. Brett chose Tragedy by the dj. Jeez. Just tired of it. It's tragic. Brady chose I need to know by Tom Petty. Still great. There's a lot of Brady in that answer right there. And I chose something in your mouth by the Canadians of Nickelback. This one says, I don't know what the hell happened here. Brady actually picked a good one today. I'm going to give him credit. It's a food related topic, so I guess that's sort of the wheelhouse. And that's when he takes things seriously. So I vote for big food. This one says, I'm voting for you, John. That's one for me. This one says, in the words of my very own mother, when we were in the studio together, Brady's my favorite. Don't keep him waiting on dinner. That's from Sean Rockefeller. This guy says, all of I all these choices. What happened to the rock of Rock Wars? I'm going to choose Brady because it represents the topic closely. But you and Bert. Reached this week. Signed Kevin. All right, so it says, put my vote down for Pop Pop. Please scroll says I missed the texting instructions because of My stupid job. No, you didn't. You vote. What, you couldn't text in, so you emailed. It's your job. Didn't get in the way of that.
John Holmberg
It's broad.
Brett Vesely
Broad. Someone must have slipped Brady an Adderall. He won today. I'm confused. This one says, tell Brady his glucose monitor. Did a great choice today.
Brady Bogan
It is getting close.
Brett Vesely
God damn it. Great choices today, boys. I'm with you, Chancellor. I, too, like Nickelback. That's why you get my vote. It's also good to see Brady does, in fact, remember how to play the game. Alfina says great songs, but I pick Brett's because it is tragic. How the hell did Brett fumble his own topic? Brett became Brady. Brady became Brett Schuberg and the Canadians for the winter. I think that's me. Yeah, probably. I think that might be me. And people like you're still avoiding the fact that Sophie took a dildo last night. No, no, come on. Don't say it that way. She's. That's wrong of you. I know. You're right. But anyway, something just happened to my. My. My emails just exploded. So, Anyway, Brett has two votes, I have eight, and Brady has 14. Damn. That has never happened. Happened. What do you got over there on yours? Running away with it on tax Brady. It's a great choice.
John Holmberg
No arguments here.
Brett Vesely
John Gordon's here. John, picking number between one and five. Yeah. Number one again. He goes with one. And that is trivia. We haven't done trivia in a while. For the win, the leader will have to ask us a question. Buzz in with your names, contestants, and we'll see who wins Rock wars off of a basic trivia question. Because, you know, this is. We just don't care. Hair. This is the flame. This is the flaming out portion of the show. All right, good luck, all of you. Good luck. All right, hang on.
Brady Bogan
Okay.
Brett Vesely
In a marching band, the members who play this instrument have always marched to a different beat, especially with £50 of brass round. John, the tuba. Wrong. Oh, no.
John Holmberg
Brett, the sousaphone with the wind.
Brett Vesely
Oh, he's gayer than me. He knew about marching. Great.
Brady Bogan
The Super Bowl.
Brett Vesely
Very weird. All right, so the guy that had the least amount of votes has won this week. And that's the danger of what we do here when we screw around with trivia for no reason at all. All right. I do like this version, though. I got no problem with this. It is tragedy. Here we go. And you started. You know, just start playing the song, and I don't care. What do you want to eat. Then just start the song. Now we're in it. You're about to start the tragedy. Yep. As our emailer said, wars have been started over less from you dicking around with I don't cares and then telling me how you care. Be like Brady Seven Brothers. It's the DG's. The foo doing tragedy. I like this one. Congratulations, Brett. It's his birthday. He deserves this one. And he's gay. He knows what sousaphones are and how heavy they are. It's 98.
Brady Bogan
It's not weird.
Brett Vesely
It's pretty cool, actually. No.
Brady Bogan
Members of me.
Brett Vesely
I have heard enough of this. Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Can't beat that song right there. Great job, Barry and the boys. Dave, covering it up. Well done. The DG's dumb fun. This guy says. I take back what I said about you and Nickel Back Mountain John. The gayest thing on today's show is Brett knowing what a sousaphone was.
John Holmberg
I like to win.
Brett Vesely
I don't care. I like you. An average straight man immediately shouted the word tuba as well, only to be out gayed by someone who knows more about marching bands.
John Holmberg
Oh, I'll take it.
Brett Vesely
What happened? Well, got bad news for you. What happened? I played the sousaphone when I was in grade school. Come on, it's bigger than you.
John Holmberg
He's gayer than me now. Good.
Brett Vesely
Larry. Thank God. Wraps around you and all.
Brady Bogan
Thank God.
Brett Vesely
Congratulations.
John Holmberg
It was horrible.
Brett Vesely
Hey, you can listen to Larry coming up just a little bit. Was Trip gonna say that he played the suphone? I was a sousaphone for a while. Yeah. And you can. You can hear Larry coming up in just moments on 933. That's right. You played the sousaphone. Were you coming in to just support Larry? Say it again. I couldn't hear you. Couldn't. Couldn't you have done like an edit on that song and made it like a minute instead of the full time? These. These radio executives with their 305. Didn't Billy Joel write a song about that? Has to be 305. And then he got fired. For God's sakes. That's a great song. You didn't like Tragedy? Did it trigger you? It was back. Yes. Back to the suit and dance days. Did you ever go to Studio 54 when you were in New York? Never. You lie. He was there. You didn't ever do it. You were there right when? That was huge. I was? Yeah. And no reason. No. Why? You had all the Cocaine you needed at the station. Yeah. No kidding. Yeah, it was too weird. Okay, interesting. I don't believe him, but all right. Well, thanks for popping in. Yeah.
Brady Bogan
He didn't like to travel for the powder.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. No, yeah, the powder was in the state in the 70s and 80s. You didn't have to go to Studio 54 at a radio station. It was built on soda anyway. And they call that the good old days when everybody was on coke. Trip wasn't. I'm not accusing him of that. Yes, he was. Probably. But I want to hear Larry's new Sousaphone show, 93. 3.
John Holmberg
What happened to the ending?
Brett Vesely
Oh, yeah, sorry. I'll do it again.
John Holmberg
Jeez.
Brett Vesely
93. 3. Old DZ. That's better. Funny. Come on. That's too funny. I didn't finish. It's time now for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our friends@reactdefense.com the Home Tactical Black self defense training. All the seminars, all the classes, everything they've got. I got a guy who just emailed me and said I'm ready to go. And I believe he's taking his daughters as well. I've had a couple people say they're gonna do that, and I'm like, all right, we'll get on it then. Quit saying you're gonna do it and do it. Do something about it again. I don't like to have fear lead. The day. Headline just popped up on my phone. Another active shooter situation. Now they call everything an active shooter. When somebody shoots. There's been plenty of shooting going on for years and years, but it seems like the news pushes it in your face face that at any given time, they might just aim one at you. It's all random now. It's still FBI. Statistically true shootings are very rarely random. That's even scarier. Most of the time, it's someone you know that's going to do terrible things to you. You're close to them. Most of the time. You're in the same house or building with them most of the time. Do you know what to do if that situation bursts out at work? It can help yourself an awful lot by being prepared for. For tragedy, as the DGs would say. 4 minutes and 18 seconds worth. It's an awesome thing to do and to have that in your back pocket. Just be a little more confident in your life. Confidence carries the day from being a victim to being a person no one's going to mess with. And you don't even really have to be a badass. Walk up and down the streets being confident. Bad guys see that first. You wear it like clothes. When you're not confident, you're not paying attention. They see that first and they go after you. So don't be a target. Be a sheepdog. Stop being a sheep and get in great shape while you do do it. React defense.com is where it starts. Two months for 199 bucks. That can't be beat for personal training. It's the home of tactical Black Brady Entertainment.
Brady Bogan
Josh Brolin is down for a gooney sequel. But he doesn't want to do anything that will taint the memory of the original.
Brett Vesely
Then don't do the sequel. Well.
Brady Bogan
He's like, I'm still in. Because Corey Feldman Spielberg's in. They've already had five pro scripts proposed. Turn them all down, he says. But since the the final approval is Steven Spielberg, I'm not worried about quality.
Brett Vesely
He wants to work with Feldman again. Something out of his mind. He's saying he does by saying, I would do it if they promised to kill Feldman on the first page. First page.
Brady Bogan
That's why they turned down the first five scripts.
Brett Vesely
Sloth kills Feldman. Oops. Is Ma Fratelli dead?
Brady Bogan
That's who film.
Brett Vesely
Okay, fine. Yeah. They burned. He touched him and caught it. And he's new Sloth and you wouldn't know the difference. Okay, I'm fine with that. No matter what. I still say kill off the Feldman. Don't even put him in costume. It'll be even more difficult to deal with.
Brady Bogan
Sharon Stone wants to star in a Phyllis Diller biopic. It's a perfect match.
Brett Vesely
People forget get well people forget Phyllis Diller. But she was actually sort of pretty. But she did herself up to be crazy looking.
John Holmberg
She was.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. She actually. Her facial features are not ugly. She just painted herself up to be nuts. Her big hair.
Brady Bogan
Put it over the top.
Brett Vesely
Wanted. Yeah, but she was. She wasn't hideous as far as her features. She just made herself that way.
John Holmberg
That was a good picture of her.
Brady Bogan
And Combo. Com that with the laugh.
Brett Vesely
If she's a. She wasn't an ugly woman. But the hair and the goofiness and the eye makeup. Yeah. I mean she went out of her way to be. To make herself ugly. But when she was. You know.
John Holmberg
It's hard to find those non pictures of her.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. Oh no. Because she was. That's what she became known for. Sharon Stone would fit right in on that. Yeah, that. That's that. That those pictures are actually. She looks pretty when she's given It a try, but nobody. She wasn't pretty enough to. People would pay attention to her. So she went nuts.
John Holmberg
She figured it out.
Brett Vesely
Yep.
Brady Bogan
Jamie Gertz from the Lost Boys and Sixteen Candles and is the richest woman in Hollywood.
Brett Vesely
Huh.
Brady Bogan
Her husband has a net worth of 13.8 billion.
Brett Vesely
Who'd she marry?
Brady Bogan
She married a guy named Tom Wrestler. Tony. Tony Wrestler. They got married in 1989. And she said I basically was making the money when we first got married. Did all this. Well, now they're. They own two sports franchises. They're minority owners of. Brewers. Milwaukee Brewers. And Tony bought the Hawks for 720 million.
Brett Vesely
What did he do to get that? You didn't read this?
Brady Bogan
No, I didn't. He's just. They said he's an entrepreneur. I didn't. Looking to see what the business is.
Brett Vesely
You just wanted to let us know.
Brady Bogan
What's his name again?
Brett Vesely
Tony. What?
Brady Bogan
Tony Ressler.
Brett Vesely
With an R. A W R E.
Brady Bogan
S S L E R. I found it.
John Holmberg
He's an equity investor.
Brett Vesely
No, he's okay. Apollo Global Management. $13.8 billion off investing. Good job. He's owned the Hawks for 10 years. Five had crypto for six years. I'm nowhere near that. I guess I'm not as good as. It's just waiting for a pop. I guess it is. I really have done well. But nobody's. Nobody's 13.8 billion in my world.
Brady Bogan
Paris Hilton's husband gave her little present. A Pink Gulf Stream G450 nicknamed SLI Air, which is after her. Her word. Sliving, which is combination of slaying and living.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. I was thinking. No. Well, yeah. Slit. Yeah. There you go. Sl.
Brady Bogan
Pictures of the jet. She finally.
Brett Vesely
No, I got it. I just. You're an idiot. You thought I wasn't following along. That's wrong. Somebody asked me the other day, speaking of $13.8 billion, if you were single. Let's say you're single, you're 30, and you come into $13.8 billion. Wow. That's gonna piss off wives across. Would you. And women too. Would you ever get into a relationship. Oof. And the reason I ask. He made a great point to though you're never. You're. You're going to be a bad partner because you will not put up with. Very true, Darren. Sir. You wouldn't be a good.
Brady Bogan
No, I would get into multiple relationships.
Brett Vesely
That's the. That's what?
John Holmberg
There you go.
Brett Vesely
Oh, yeah. I'm not saying would you be a. A monk. I'm saying would you ever lock it Down. I don't think you'd be a very good partner if you made the money without someone first. Yeah, well, you know, I agree with you. You can't establish a base when you've got. When you literally have you money and somebody, she starts giving you grief. It's like, like I'm out. Like I'm not dealing with anything. Yeah. I don't think you do enough around the house. Bye.
John Holmberg
I'll be in Jackson Hole on my sliver.
Brett Vesely
Right. I'm gonna get on my jet. Seven bros. That's the Brady's key. Yeah, I don't. And he, he said that. And I'm like, sure. And then I started thinking, man, I don't think I. I don't think that's a good idea for anyone. To have established yourself with that much money at the same time, at 13, and then bring somebody to it. Billion. You're not going to be a very good partner.
Brady Bogan
I think you could find a partner that said, you know, things don't work out right. Oh, you get a billion, you can.
Brett Vesely
Make everything go away is his point. Anthony asked me that. I'm like, that's kind of. You're not wrong. And it did it.
John Holmberg
Talking about Stern earlier today. Got rid of the OG and it's.
Brett Vesely
A little n. I guess maybe they get rid of Beth, too. Here's the thing. People do their best. Well, no, here's the thing, though. He had already established himself as someone who's been through the beginning and end of a relationship. If you were single and had never done that.
John Holmberg
Oh, okay, I gotcha. I gotcha.
Brett Vesely
Do you have years old? Do you have the foundational ability. Yeah. To start a relationship. Like right now, all of us could, like, come in a ton of money and be fine because we understand how those work.
Brady Bogan
30.
Brett Vesely
Maybe, but not like when you're.
John Holmberg
I'll look at DiCaprio. He's never done it. He's like, nah, I'm good.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. Because he's got go away money. It. I, I'm. That's an interesting thought, though.
Brady Bogan
There's not enough. He hasn't had to do the go away money necessarily.
Brett Vesely
But you're 24.
John Holmberg
Get out.
Brett Vesely
It's the mic. It's the Derek Jeter thing. It's like, look, I, I can. I know for a fact that I can move on to something as good as you. And that sounds horrible. And that's what makes me a bad partner. So I can't get involved because right now my brain's just going to be like, I'm not tolerating any from anyone.
Brady Bogan
I'm sorry, this is over. You can't make your mind up for.
Brett Vesely
What you want for D. Maybe that's.
Brady Bogan
Time to move on.
Brett Vesely
Maybe that's. Here's your gift basket. Off you go. Seven bros. That's Brady's goodbye. That's. There's the Irish goodbye and the Brady goodbye. Seven bros. It was an interesting thought though because it's like it's a. It's a wise person that says I'm going to be a bad partner because I'm a commodity as well. I have value. I understand. I have value people. I am in demand hand. And that at least in my mind is going to keep me from ever being good all the way to the end. I just. I won't be reasonable with you.
John Holmberg
Seems like athletes do it though. Like you're saying Jeter.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, that's a very wise thing.
Brady Bogan
The relationships that they're in, they have that arrangement more or less.
Brett Vesely
Sure.
Brady Bogan
Look, this is, this is.
Brett Vesely
You have to understand that I just like there's a piece of me missing because of the way wealth that's going to make me less than what you would expect from the traditional man. It's a self awareness that's actually really important. Tiger woods tried to be normal and realized I'm not. And I'm trying as hard as I can to just plug into a Toledo lifestyle and I just don't have that life.
Brady Bogan
I go to Perkins, next thing you.
Brett Vesely
Know, next thing you know some lady's pulling out her tampon and TMZ's picking it up and you're running into trees.
Brady Bogan
Getting hit with dubs.
Brett Vesely
And Brett, how dare you bring me into this conversation. Look, I'm, I. Look, Brell Juice has his ways. You're not allowed to listen anymore, Brett. Even in the room. Even though you work here. You can't listen to the show anymore. I ban. I banned Brett from listening. He can talk but you can't listen. Okay. Is that a good rule there, Red Robin? Yum. I think so too. In other words, we're putting John Gordon where you are cuz he listens you just bout. Anyway, goodbye to Howard Ster. Evidently that's a real thing. Be around till the end of the year and then he'll start his new thing and maybe it'll be over at Dave Pratt's Worldwide pants. All right, buddy. I make podwebs.
Brady Bogan
They're good buds.
Brett Vesely
Come over and come do a podweb at my place. I know the future. I make podwebs. On the Internet. We're all done. You guys have yourselves a fantastic Wednesday. We'll see you tomorrow in the morning. Sickness.
Brady Bogan
It's not weird.
Brett Vesely
It's pretty cool, actually.
Brady Bogan
No membership fee.
Brett Vesely
I have heard enough of this.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: August 6, 2025
Howard Stern and the Evolution of Radio
The episode kicks off with a deep dive into the career trajectory of Howard Stern. Bret Vesely expresses admiration for Stern's interviewing prowess, stating, “[Howard Stern] is the best interviewer that’s ever had a job doing that” (03:39). However, the hosts critique Stern's recent shift towards political commentary, arguing that it has alienated a significant portion of his audience. Brady Bogan laments, “Howard’s always been great... Now it's all about politics, nothing's off-limits” (06:47). They discuss how Stern's stringent stance—refusing listeners who don’t align with his views—has led to a decline in his show's popularity.
Radio Industry Challenges and HD Radio Failure
Transitioning from individual personalities to industry-wide issues, the hosts critique the radio industry's failed investment in HD radio technology. Bret Vesely criticizes radio executives for their misguided decisions, saying, “Radio got into a dumb battle, surprise, surprise, with XM” (07:48). He highlights the inefficiency of splitting radio stations into multiple channels without sufficient listener and advertiser support, leading to operational failures. This discussion underscores the broader challenges traditional radio faces in the digital age.
Sports Fanbase Satire: Ravens, WNBA, and the Browns
A significant portion of the conversation satirizes various sports fanbases, particularly targeting fans of the Baltimore Ravens, WNBA, and the Cleveland Browns. Bret Vesely humorously mocks the Ravens’ fan loyalty, stating, “If you’re a Ravens fan, I can’t be friends with you” (33:08), and continues to deride the Browns’ performance and their fans’ unwavering support despite repeated losses. The hosts use exaggerated stereotypes to lampoon the passionate, yet often irrational, loyalty of sports fans, blending humor with sharp commentary.
Personal Anecdotes and Comedic Tales
Throughout the episode, the hosts share a series of personal stories laced with humor:
Dental Hygiene Fiascoes: John Holmberg recounts a visit to the dentist where Bret humorously describes having chicken wings stuck in his teeth, leading to an awkward encounter with the dental hygienist who "put that stuff on my chest" (24:30).
Gynecological Jokes: The conversation takes a comedic turn towards gynecological examinations, with Bret making exaggerated and inappropriate jokes about the experiences women face during such visits. He quips, “She was fumbling around... It's like a gynecology exam” (84:53).
These anecdotes serve to entertain listeners with relatable yet exaggerated mishaps, showcasing the hosts' penchant for crude humor.
Technology Glitches and Contest Troubles
A recurring theme is the frustration with outdated or malfunctioning technology:
Phone System Breakdown: The hosts explain their ongoing struggles with their phone system, which impedes their ability to run contests smoothly. Brett Vesely sarcastically remarks, “If you hear those sounds, Pantera is in your hands” (76:40), referring to their Pantera ticket giveaway that’s hindered by technical issues.
Transition Back to Analog: In a twist, the hosts humorously contemplate reverting to older technology like Morse code or analog phones to circumvent the digital failures, highlighting their exasperation with modern tech (108:57).
Historical References and Dark Humor
The hosts intersperse their banter with dark humor and historical references:
World War II Bombings: Bret Vesely controversially remarks on the 80th anniversary of the Hiroshima bombing, using it as a twisted point of national pride: “We should celebrate those bombs... the human cost was horrible, but it worked” (93:10).
Electric Chair Trials: They discuss the gruesome early experiments with the electric chair, blending historical facts with crude humor: “They strapped dead animals and then a cow, and it did not go well” (39:07).
These segments reflect the hosts' inclination towards shock value, using historical tragedies as fodder for their irreverent humor.
Contests and Listener Engagement
Despite technical setbacks, the hosts maintain engagement through various contests:
Rock Wars: A recurring segment where listeners vote on rock song battles. In this episode, Brady Bogan selects Tom Petty’s "I Need to Know" as a thematic representation of marital dinners, while Bret Vesely chooses Nickelback’s "Something in Your Mouth," sparking lighthearted debates and listener participation (144:00).
Pantera Ticket Giveaway: Although plagued by phone issues, the hosts continue to promote their contest for Pantera concert tickets, underscoring their commitment to listener interaction despite logistical challenges.
Closing Thoughts and Upcoming Events
As the episode wraps up, the hosts tease upcoming events and reiterate their commitment to providing entertaining content. Bret mentions the 24th anniversary of the show and upcoming birthday celebrations, encouraging listeners to join future festivities at local venues like Roosters in Scottsdale.
Notable Quotes:
Bret Vesely: “Howard Stern is the best interviewer that’s ever had a job doing that.” (03:39)
Brady Bogan: “If you’re a Ravens fan, I can’t be friends with you.” (33:08)
Bret Vesely: “Radio got into a dumb battle, surprise, surprise, with XM.” (07:48)
Bret Vesely: “She was fumbling around... It's like a gynecology exam.” (84:53)
John Holmberg: “That's the formula for hard knocks is just outstanding.” (116:11)
Conclusion
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of sharp industry critiques, humorous personal anecdotes, and satirical takes on sports fandom and historical events. While the hosts navigate through various topics with their trademark irreverence, they maintain a focus on entertaining their audience through candid discussions and comedic storytelling. Despite technical hurdles and controversial jokes, the show continues to engage listeners with its unique blend of humor and commentary.