08-07-25 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: August 7, 2025 Host/Authors: John Holmberg, Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dale Hellestri, Dick Toledo Broadcasted on: 98.7 KUPD | Hubbard Radio

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1. Operation Hydration: A Race to a Million Bottles

The show kicks off with John Holmberg and his co-hosts discussing their ongoing fundraising initiative, Operation Hydration, aimed at collecting one million water bottles by September. As of the episode's airing, they've amassed 926,402 bottles.

• John Holmberg [04:03]: "We're very close. And thinking that we were going to hit a million at least by September. Set that bar, and we'll make a million our mark, and that'll be it."

• Brady Bogan [06:12]: "Google AMCO for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A, MCO transmissions and a whole lot more."

The team emphasizes the urgency and impact of the campaign, encouraging listeners to donate either by dropping off bottles or contributing cash.

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2. Local News Highlight: Bat Incident and Its Aftermath

The hosts shift gears to discuss a recent alarming news story about a woman from Massachusetts who was bitten by a bat while photographing at Horseshoe Bend, Arizona. This incident resulted in her receiving seven rabies vaccinations and incurring a $20,000 medical bill.

• John Holmberg [07:47]: "She was having a nighttime photo session... One of the bats swooped down... has to get seven rabies shots right away."

The conversation delves into the dangers of bat encounters, the severity of rabies, and personal anecdotes related to bats, highlighting the hosts' discomfort and humorous takes on the situation.

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3. The WNBA Dildo Prank: A Controversial Topic

A significant portion of the episode revolves around a humorous yet edgy discussion about the WNBA allegedly dealing with unwanted objects (dildos) being thrown onto the court. The hosts explore the implications of banning bags to prevent such incidents and brainstorm playful yet absurd solutions.

• John Holmberg [19:54]: "If we're going to throw dildos onto a professional sports arena's floor, we do it when the players are on the other side. Christ's sake."

• Brady Bogan [22:46]: "If we're going to throw dildos onto the court, we do it when the players are on the other side. It's too much for them."

While maintaining a comedic tone, the discussion touches on security measures, the absurdity of the situation, and the potential consequences of such pranks.

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4. Listener Spotlight: Ryan's Identity Struggle

The episode features an emotional segment where a listener named Ryan shares his struggles with being constantly misnamed as Brian at his workplace. This personal story opens a dialogue about self-identity, workplace dynamics, and the importance of addressing one's true self.

• Ryan [50:24]: "The other day I heard John say he goes and sees a therapist. Which makes me feel better because I do too."

• John Holmberg [51:03]: "So I'm asking you guys, do you think it's just easier to let this go? No."

The hosts offer supportive yet humorous advice, encouraging Ryan to embrace his true name and seek resolution with his coworkers.

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5. Brady Bogan's Health Battle: A Community in Support

A heartfelt segment centers on co-host Brady Bogan, who reveals his diagnosis of a softball-sized tumor on his right kidney and his battle with polycystic kidney disease. The discussion is laced with dark humor as the team rallies to support Brady through his upcoming surgery.

• Brady Bogan [83:03]: "I have a softball size tumor on my kidney. The good news is it's treatable."

• John Holmberg [84:35]: "You're gonna hate being around me because I'm gonna take your rose-colored glasses off now and again."

The community's response is a mix of comedic teasing and genuine concern, illustrating the close-knit and irreverent nature of the show’s camaraderie.

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6. Entertainment Announcements and Promotions

Amidst serious discussions, the hosts continue to promote upcoming local events and sponsored segments, including:

• Comedy Shows: Announcements for performances at various improv venues with comedians like Carlos Mencia and Annie Letterman.

• MMP Guns Custom Services: Brady Bogan [47:32]: "MMP Guns Customs is creating some amazing firearms... You can select our designs or make up your own."

• Self-Defense Training: Sponsored by React Defense promoting self-defense training and awareness.

These segments are interspersed with the primary content, maintaining the show's promotional aspect.

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7. Final Thoughts: Navigating Health and Humor

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on the balance between addressing serious health issues and maintaining their signature humor. They acknowledge the challenges faced by their co-hosts and listeners alike, reinforcing the show's commitment to blending support with entertainment.

• John Holmberg [144:47]: "It's crucial to consult with your doctor or registered dietician for personalized dietary advice."

• Brady Bogan [173:00]: "I'm not having the surgery."

The episode concludes with plans to pause the show for Brady’s surgery, signaling a temporary hiatus and expressing solidarity with their friend.

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Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [07:03]: "But these ladies on the floor seem interested in a dick. They're happy that there's a dismembered dick, but when they find out it's not real, they're probably fairly disappointed."

• Brady Bogan [24:10]: "They're Are why choose a Sleep number smart bed Can I make my site softer?"

• John Holmberg [28:38]: "If you do have a concussion, even slight, you can't go back in the game because that stuff will make you go, 'I'm fine.'"

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully intertwines humor with heartfelt moments, addressing both lighthearted and serious topics. From fundraising drives and local news to personal battles and community support, the hosts deliver a dynamic and engaging morning show experience, ensuring listeners are entertained while fostering a sense of camaraderie and support.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from AMCO.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's talk about back to school TLC for your car.

[John Holmberg]

Larry, the last thing anyone needs right now is to start the school year with car troubles. Yeah, makes sense.

[Brady Bogan]

What should people do?

[John Holmberg]

Head to your closest amco. We specialize in back to school auto repairs for the busy school season. Plus we have a back to school discount for students and teachers. Yeah, but do you need to make an appointment? Not at all. Just pop into your nearest AMCO or book online. Now that's convenient.

[Brady Bogan]

Google AMCO for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A, MCO transmissions and.

[John Holmberg]

A whole lot more. And remember, AMCO proudly supports Operation Hydration. Hey, Byron, I was [e-mail]'s website. You have everything, and the prices are incredible.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys, and more. The best part is if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[Brady Bogan]

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP guns.com it's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group. And Doug hopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this, though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd have just called TVs Doug Hopkins. Because he's more than a guy buying your house and he makes an offer for your house, cash as is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1-800-sale now. All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Eastside and Tempe at the improv catch. The always hilarious Carlos Mencia. Funny Marco will be performing his sets.

[Dale Hellestri]

Downtown at stand up live and at.

[John Holmberg]

The Desert Ridge Improv. You've got the one and only Annie.

[Dale Hellestri]

Letterman entertaining you all week.

[John Holmberg]

For the complete lineups and for Tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com hey, what's up? It's Mo and my friends at the University of advancing technology has been ranked the number one best college for computer.

[Annie Letterman]

Science for not one, but two years in a row.

[John Holmberg]

Which makes total sense because UAT are always on the lookout for those who don't just embrace technology, they live it. From advancing computer science and robotics to cybersecurity, gaming and artificial intelligence. Uat. UAT is where innovation thrives. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution, visit uat.edu.mo. and don't just study tech. Live it. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday. This is the morning sickness. It is 5:45. My name's John. There's Brady. There's Brett. There's Toledo. Here we are for now, hoping you guys are getting up and getting ready for what will be another hot, extremely hot day. And that's gonna lead us right into the operation. Hydration. I got an official count, Brett. Yeah. We're not over a million yet. You still haven't done it. That's. I want to recount. Don't worry about it. I believe the bottle count, which I didn't expect we'd be doing. So I'm going to still give Brett some credit for this because he's. He's extorting a lot of people. The bottle count right now as it stands? Yeah. 926,402 bottles. And I blame Dale for there not being an even number. Like why? Like the 402. Why is it not zero? Walking out cases get out bottles. How do we get 9 of 402? The people doing individual drops. I don't know. Is there an awkward. It has to be. One of the cases was light.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Or broke or heavy. Three time super bowl champion. Can't afford a case. He can afford four bucks. He just a cheap prick. Just. Yeah, he just steals. Yeah, but that's pretty good. So today, 73,698 are needed. How many is in a pallet? That's a great way to figure that out. Well, we had yeah, I've done the math a million times on that, and I still don't understand how it's there. But we're very close. And thinking that we were going to. We. By the way, we knew this last week. I thought we hit a million last week. We have surpassed already our biggest year doing this ever by 100,000 bottles. Awesome. Which is great. I expect. I truly expected and was in the meeting that I had about this way back in April, I said, we'll just lie and say we got close. Like we didn't. If we come up short, we'll just say I was close, and we'll make up that they get. You know, if we have a bad one, we could possibly just lie. And they're very religious organization. They didn't like my suggestion there. Why would we lie about it? Because we look like fools. But we're not gonna. You guys are making us look good in a big way. And better still, the people that need what we're doing are in good shape. And it's 117 degrees today, so that's going to be definitely necessary as they just keep churning through this stuff. And 926,000 bottles collected from just KUPD, just, you know, as a conduit, is way above and beyond. So we're going to hit that million at least by September. But set that bar, and we'll make a million our mark, and that'll be it. Everything else is gravy. And I'm not going to put us in some sort of weird Pat Riley situation in the future, saying we'll do a million one this year. No, that's it. No million. The number. Be happy with a million. That's where it is. But that's pretty great. So today, Brett goes out once again, and I think this whole Italian attitude of drop off some cash, I'll get you some water. I think that's been going really well. I think that's the playing on our listeners kind of philanthropy slash laziness is a great thing to do. Yeah. It's like, I don't want to go in.

[Brady Bogan]

They, like, sneak that in.

[John Holmberg]

A Costco pallet is 1920 bottles. 1728 in a regular pallet. So that's where the O2 comes from. Is there 1728 in a regular pallet? So there's like a. There's a couple hundred more in a Costco palette. And I don't even know if that's a good thing, bad thing. But 720.

[Brady Bogan]

Those are like, 35 bottles a case.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. All right. Oh, yeah, they're the bigger ones. All right, well, that's good. So either way, today, Brett, I think you can do this. I think today's the day. I think one big giant drop off today, and then plus what you're gonna bring in. No, you're not done. Go till Labor Day. Actually only go for a couple more weeks. Yeah. So that's. You're doing all right. You jumped ahead of the curve, kid. Well done. But does that count? Dr. Jay Schwartz, local legends, models. Local legends does count through us, right?

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Jay Schwartz does it on his own. Oh, it doesn't. Okay. Yeah. So, I mean, they're. Yeah, so they've got. Better put my wife to work. Yeah. Get that fraud working. That's exactly right. Brett turned to me the other day. Brady goes, hey, this water thing, what do I do for my taxes? I said, what? And he goes, look, it's a million bottles I donated. Like, you're not doing it.

[Dale Hellestri]

He goes, I am.

[John Holmberg]

And he lifted his hand, and I knew how Matthias felt. He tried to go five across the face on me. I'm like, all right, all right, all right. I'll get your receipt. I'll talk to the bosses if I get a receipt. They're good at that stuff. Tons of paperwork flying around about this. We'll make it up, for God's sakes. But anyway, we'll tell you where Brett's going in just a little bit. My stomach is still churning from the news story last night of the lady that was taking pictures here in Arizona and that bat fly in her mouth. Did you see that?

[Brady Bogan]

And got bit. Right?

[John Holmberg]

I know. She just had it go in. If a bat touches any mucosa in your body at all, you're getting rabies.

[Brady Bogan]

Still getting rabies.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's like those. I have bats. The reason why I have bats hanging around my house now, all like. I'm playing basketball in that backyard thing, and the bats are. They're acting different. I've had bats in my neighborhood before. They're getting really close. Like, really aggressively close. This lady said she was in northern Arizona. She had. Was that horseshoe bend. It's absolutely beautiful. If you've ever been there. It's stunning place. It turned into a nightmare. She said she's an out of state visitor. Erica Khan. Gone. She's from Massachusetts. She was having a nighttime photo session with her father. Says she was taking long exposure photographs, getting beautiful shots, when she noticed something kept buzzing over her head. Some stuff was flying overhead. Didn't think anything of it. And One of the bats swooped down in between the camera and her, got confused and hit her cave right in the mouth, right in the gob. And she's like. I didn't know if it was a wing or its head. I freaked out. It was gross. $20,000 for the radio station. Seven shots that series.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I knew.

[John Holmberg]

Crazy multiple said she had to get seven rabies shots right away. Medical bill was 20 grand. And that's just in case. I don't even know. I would drop dead if a bat flew into my mouth. I would die. I would. If one touches me, I might not ever go outside again. I can't. Those little freaky things.

[Brady Bogan]

That is a. That's a freak accident.

[John Holmberg]

My dad had a place in Palm Springs.

[Brady Bogan]

Shut your gob.

[John Holmberg]

Right? Yeah. Yeah. Well, first off, breathe through your nose. Conversation. Is it Horseshoe been pretty. Yeah. What are you doing there? He's just sitting there with your mouth wide open, like, you weirdo. Anyway, I was at. My dad. He had a place in Palm Springs on a golf course, and he was working there. So it was a temporary. It was like a work condo. And he was. He was in this place. It was nice. So I would go there every once in a while when he wasn't using on weekends. Just kind of plop down there and goof around with the dogs and stuff. I left and got a hotel room one time because I went. I was going in the front door and dragging my little suitcase. Going in. Nobody's there. There is hanging above the front door, this wrapped up brown thing upside down. And it's daytime. And he's just like. You can see that he knows I'm there, but he's not. Gonna. Don't bother me. It was daytime, so he's not going out. And he's just looking at me like, don't. And I stopped. I just stopped. I'm like, well, I can't. I can't stay here because I'm gonna want to go in and out at night. And if I know he lives there, I'm done. Called my dad and I'm like, hey, you got a bat on the porch. Goes knock it down. Like, I'm not touching it. That thing gets. I'm not making those mad. They've got friends. Ah, you're such a pussy. And where you gonna go? I'm like, I don't know. There's a hotel around here somewhere. It's Palm Springs. So I stayed at a. Actually stayed at the Ritz Carlton. It was very nice, but I was not going in that place ever bats. They're rare. But that is a deal breaker for me. That's a game changer. They're so creepy.

[Brady Bogan]

I think you ever seen that the nature film where they coming out of that giant cave?

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. They do it at Karchner Cavern. They do it over in the ones Carlsbad. And that's the attraction of Carlsbad Cavern. Outside of going through it is at dusk. At dusk just the sky turns black and they all the bats and they always turn left. Always know that they're gonna only turn left in the smell it is. And they stink and they're gross and they poop everywhere. They're just gross. That's a gross one. That's one of your God's mistakes. Like he would. That was. That's proof God's a teenage boy. As he made bats, bats, scorpions, he made a few animals. Like the annoying weird kids over designed. No, just. Yeah, well kind of in a way, I guess. Yeah. Because he's got. I'm gonna give it sonar and it's gonna be kick ass. And it's gonna eat bugs. Like its purpose is to eat bugs. And you made that thing? Yeah, yeah. God said that a lot when he was making. Oh yeah, check it out. Come here, man. Check out what I made. What is that? It's a scorpion. Yeah, yeah. It lives in the dark and it glows. I can write that down. It glows in the dark. What's its purpose? It eats crickets. Oh, okay. That's harmless. Yeah, but it's sting could kill a baby. Why would you do that? It stings. Does it have to sting to eat crickets? What's with the pincers? Let's just hold the crickets while it poisons it. This is awesome.

[Brady Bogan]

Being God, the design team just came up with it. What do you think?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The design team. Yes, a group. They started with dinosaurs which nobody can explain to me at all. The whole earth was based on. Look at that. Look at the bats bread found. That is awful. And they come beaten out of that cave and God knows where they go. Someplace evil. Jesus. That's gross. Ugh. Imagine one hitting you in the mouth. Oh yeah. So gross.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a cool statue.

[John Holmberg]

They got a statue of a giant one. No, it isn't. That's a dumb statue. That's in Bangkok. Probably gonna visit that next time. We'll probably sleep there in those caves.

[Brady Bogan]

It's being out of bat Kwana.

[John Holmberg]

It's so gross. They're so gross. So to that lady out there. Sorry that Arizona treated you to that, but man, I hate those things. That's one, that's one cringe worthy disaster. And they're still going, yeah, I'd like to talk to a theologian if they're out there about what the deal with the dinosaurs was.

[Brady Bogan]

It's just like technology just got a little bit better, you know, like, you know, pretty immediate.

[John Holmberg]

Let's update these for like 10,000 years though. He's like, let's just play dinosaurs. And then he's like, I'm done with these broads. And then he just invented broads. Like that's a pretty drastic difference in what's going to run the earth, like from them to us. And then what's weird is they did.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, they said from the get go at least when he finally designed man and woman, Adam and Eve, they're going to over, you know, rule over the animals.

[John Holmberg]

Why, why didn't he do that to start? That's what I'm wanting a theologian to explain to me, what's with the dinosaurs? And then when the dinosaurs bothered him, he floated them out or blew him up or whatever. And when we pissed him off, he did the same and then brought us back. Why didn't he have no other dinosaur, you know, Cool. It could have been if he'd have given dinosaurs our skills in those bodies. Totally better God made for better sequels. I would have made such a better God than the God you guys worship me being. God would have been so much better. I wouldn't have needed scorpions and stuff. I just wouldn't have invented crickets. I'd have come up with a better system to go, oh, we don't have these bugs in the ecosystem. No, we just make it to where every once in a while I come down like, or once a month I come out like hunter pest control. And I just make sure everything's working.

[Brady Bogan]

It just gotta, I think forgot. It just got out of hand because like the cell, the one amoeba came out of the ocean, whatever, and created.

[John Holmberg]

All these different species, like, oh, you're dabbling.

[Brady Bogan]

That one just turned into a scorpion.

[John Holmberg]

So you're dabbling there. You're, you're.

[Brady Bogan]

So he had to figure out. He had to.

[John Holmberg]

Don't thumb your nose at evolution, my friend. Don't you start with that.

[Brady Bogan]

He's like, oh, that popped up. That just created. Well, I better wait a minute.

[John Holmberg]

He's God. He should have had this figured out. Exactly. He saw it coming. There's no trial and error. He knew if you believe he wasn't Henry Ford. Exactly. He didn't just go, nailed it, Brad.

[Brady Bogan]

He's got the chart.

[John Holmberg]

Did he ever sit there and just go eureka and then go to a drawing board? No. He's supposed to have known everything.

[Brady Bogan]

He's got the answers.

[John Holmberg]

He invented the whole.

[Brady Bogan]

None of your business.

[John Holmberg]

All right, well, that's the problem I have with him. He's too private for. None of your business. None of your business. What are you doing now?

[Brady Bogan]

Just live your life.

[John Holmberg]

And it was. And we were created in him as his image.

[Dale Hellestri]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

But then he didn't make a bunch of hymns until the dinosaurs. He got bored with dinosaurs. He was seven. He was seven. But bats, I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

When you're a kid, dinosaurs are awesome, right?

[John Holmberg]

He's a child. He's a pet.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe he's a young guy.

[John Holmberg]

I'd have been such a cooler God. So much cooler. I invent those dinosaurs and be like, I'm put Brett's brain and a T. Rex. This is good. Do you imagine how cool the mafia hits would have been if the dinosaurs could think and do what we do? If a dinosaur and his little T. Rex are on. Watch your mouth. And he tries to smack his wife across the face. He can't reach her.

[Brady Bogan]

So frustrated.

[John Holmberg]

My world as God would have been so much better than this thing. Also, by the way, if you vote for me as God, no more cancer. I would have just said, no, we're not doing the especially for kids. Not doing that. You got my vote. Yeah, thank you. Not doing it. Dogs will live to be like 50.

[Brady Bogan]

I would probably, as God go around and just kind of boop bop people in the nose.

[John Holmberg]

Boop.

[Brady Bogan]

Cancer free.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I boop some people. Well, I wouldn't invent cancer in the first place. I'd be like, nah, that's a dumb one. And scorpions would just be bugs that ate crickets and left us alone. I'd put it in all bugs minds to just leave people alone. They're special. You do your job as a bug eater, leave the people. Don't go crawling in their beds and being all creepy. Yeah, me as God, totally different. Better, better world. But a theologian so as to explain dinosaurs to me. And they'll explain, oh, they lived at the same exact time. Like, well, then what happened? Did they die from a meteor or did they just croak? Like, what happened? And then what's with bats? Bats are an essential part of keeping down the mosquito population. So malaria. Why did you invent all that? You don't need all this if you didn't bring malaria to the party. Not to mention the Chinese flu that they started, too. There we go. Got another one of those. Brett, the Chinese are lying again. We got another one of those. So that bat that when that lady's mouth probably started yet another pandemic. They always do that to Trump. Always. The Chinese bringing terrible diseases onto the earth.

[Brady Bogan]

Found out she was at a wet.

[John Holmberg]

Market there in a horseshoe bend. Yeah. Then they open that up. That would be disappointing to go to horseshoe.

[Brady Bogan]

Ben, you bought that bath.

[John Holmberg]

The wet market up there, the bunch of Chinese people wrecking the views. Not that Chinese people wreck the views. The wet market would. Although sometimes Chinese people wreck the views because they're always in a better camera angle than you. And that just goes without saying. What are you gonna do? Tonight's the big night. Brady, over there at the arena, you got that Caitlin Clarkson town and she planned out.

[Brady Bogan]

Is it sold out?

[John Holmberg]

She's right. They're trying to get like a thousand bucks a ticket. They're out of their minds. They'll be a good crowd. They'll be a good crowd. And now no more bags. That's the answer to the dildo problem for the wnba. No bags allowed. They thought people were sneaking those in in bags. Hmm. Where can I hide a dick shaped item? Hmm? Oh, I know where my dick goes.

[Brady Bogan]

Gonna have to feel them up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you gotta feel them up and go, what's this? I don't know. Why don't you reach in there and find out? Now I want to go and have one in my pants and just see if anybody will reach and start to. No, this is now. I'll glue it on for a little bit. Man, we gotta take. Let's. That looks a little big for. Let's drop your drawers. And then you're gonna get a lawsuit. Wnba. No bags, you morons. But they're not allowed to have bags, so. And also, I watched a guy who has a very clever idea. Inside job. The dildo thing. You can bet on what color the next dildo that hits the court is on a couple of these betting sites. I don't think. Well, that's the going thing. But you can change it. So, like, blue was like a plus. 1400. So let's go get a couple seats, grab a blue dildo, throw it out there, put a big old bet. Put a couple thousand bucks on that, and you're covering your nut. Everybody does it. You rig the. You rig the deal, which is great. And then you know you right when.

[Brady Bogan]

You toss it, a green One hits the floor first.

[John Holmberg]

Son of a bitch. You bastard. And then that guy. Celebrate. Well, you know, that's the fun of gambling, that you take that chance. But, you know, you wait. You see if anybody's thrown one at an east coast game. If nobody has, you hold your blue, you hold your green. Whichever the odds are better, you chuck that out onto the court again responsibly. When the ladies are on the other end, I don't want them getting hit by these. How many times do I have to tell you? If we're going to throw dildos onto a professional sports arena's floor, we do it when the players are on the other side. Christ's sake. Are you children all right? Of course, John. Does that include Angel? Reese Got a lot to think about anyway. Damn it. Yes, it does. I'm gonna put her in the mix. Don't throw it. Even if she's there. Even though it's very tempting to throw things at her. And you put it down there and you win all the money. Now you're gonna have to pay for bail. You're gonna get banned from all WNBA future games, which I know, I know. Is it worth the risk? 100%. And let's say you put the guy had. I think he was putting five grand on a couple of them. He was making like 80 or 90,000 bucks per bet. I said I got a couple of buddies. They put five on it. We all do that. Everybody walks out of there with 90 grand. Maybe pay 10, $12,000 in fines. You're still leaving with 65,000. That's pretty good. Worth it. Bags are banned. Nobody was bringing dildos in. In a bag. The worst case scenario is they were hiding it inside them. You don't want that thing floating around. But that's probably where somebody.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, if you're looking to do that, I think you need to have someone else tossed it.

[John Holmberg]

Why so?

[Brady Bogan]

Because two and two together.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody's doing any of that in a bet.

[Brady Bogan]

And he's the guy that made it happen.

[John Holmberg]

And you get your friends to do it, you give them the money. And I'm just saying I don't think they're going to do that deep an investigation of the whole thing.

[Brady Bogan]

If you're wanting to pull it off.

[John Holmberg]

If you wanted to do. Yeah, if you wanted to go Real Oceans 11 on this thing, the due diligence is give your friend the money, have him do it. You're the ringer. You toss it out there. Now, there is a. There is a school of thought that the WNBA Is this is an inside job that they're chucking the dildos out onto the court because it is bringing eyes to the party. There's a lot of WNBA chatter for the first time maybe ever. And that's saying something because they've tried real hard and nobody cared. But now suddenly they're going to say the ratings are up. I. I watched a Fever and Liberty game in the hopes. I think it was the Liberty. I didn't even know who the other team was, to be honest with you. I think maybe not, but if a dildo hit the floor, I'd have been laughing. I watched the one with the sparks, but that was after the dildo already.

[Brady Bogan]

Flew category for your porn. Flying dildos throw down on the court, and all of a sudden they just start working on.

[John Holmberg]

It's just too much for them. It would be. And I know that this is. You've seen most of those players in all of those. I was gonna say, I don't think.

[Brady Bogan]

Many of them are just like the teacher stuff, you know, because you could.

[John Holmberg]

Get the Brittany Griners out there. You went back to the Bible again, Brady. None of these girls are interested in a dick. They're not gonna get excited when a dick hits the floor. They're happy that there's a dismembered dick, but then when they find out it's not real, they're gonna be probably fairly disappointed. Bottom line is they're, you know the ban on bags. And I'm like, they never kicked. I could get three or four of them in there and you wouldn't even know. Plus, they're rubber. So the only problem is.

[Brady Bogan]

So there's going to be some people that'll be checking their bags because not everyone.

[John Holmberg]

They won't allow them in.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. So they'll have to have a. Well, do a bag check where they'll.

[John Holmberg]

Hold it, I guess if you forget.

[Brady Bogan]

Or they make them go back to the car.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they do that in the stadium in Vegas for the Raiders games. If your bag's a little big, they have us building near the stadium. You got to go drop off and they charge you.

[Brady Bogan]

Put it in a locker.

[John Holmberg]

You got to charge you to buy a locker. You're going to Raiders game. Well, I don't know why, but my. My friend Brough wife and I'm like, first off, mistake there. Second. Then she brought a big old bag just big enough to be like a problem. They had to walk all the way across the parking lot, drop it off. And I'm like, I don't know what you were thinking bringing your money and stuff inside a Raiders game. But it was a Steelers game that was 90%.

[Dale Hellestri]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

Medicate Ku PD we're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Brady Bogan]

The choice is simple Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have ammo, ink 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it sounds like MMP Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpguns.com.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the Core. He's not going to be back on the court immediately, but in a few months time he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain you've been living with the Core Institute celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do again. Go to the core institute.com Holmberg's Morning.

[Toledo]

Sickness Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Back to school Workplace upheaval Relationship stress Deadline anxiety We all go through these moments in our daily lives that leave our mental health and wellness on shaky ground. It's dick Tolito from Holmberg's Morning Sickness for BetterHelp. I personally have felt the benefits of therapy to get through a rough patch and to give me a way to navigate that tough time and a strategy to recognize when I'm not handling situations my best. And with over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform. With BetterHelp you can join a session with a therapist therapists at the click of a button and switch therapists anytime to help you fit therapy into your life where it's best. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a broad array of Expertise. So give yourself a helping hand and talk it out with BetterHelp. Morning Sickness listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com Holmberg that's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com Holmberg Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't. I could have the. The. The. The bigger issue for this is going to be the wnba. We have the NBA. And the in the world outside of me has to pretend that the w. That the WNBA has some sort of weird relevance. So the NBA's got to pretend that, okay, it's a problem for them. It's probably going to be a problem for us. So the pat downs at Suns games are going to be longer. The security is going to be longer because they have to act like somebody wants to chuck dildos at an NBA game too, and they don't. They're being. They're being entertained by the game itself most of the time. Now, if anybody deserved dildos getting thrown at him last year, it was the Suns. 36 wins in a $400 million payroll. You out of here. Yeah, that's insanity. But still in all, nobody threw a dildo at them. Them so easy to hide it. I, I could be Brady. I could be hiding a dildo right now. You wouldn't know it. And you can pat me down and still not find.

[Brady Bogan]

I see you tremble or shake a little bit maybe you're going to have to.

[John Holmberg]

You're going to have to go index finger to my. My love button to make sure it's not full to see there's no suction cup there. What's this? Oh, shoot. You found me out, copper. None of those people at the door to Sun's arena. Come on. Station we listen to again. Oh, that's right. Well, I'm just saying, bro. I mean, you're talking about dildos. I'm talking about. I'll put those up there. 93. 3. Never forget. There we go.

[Brady Bogan]

I haven't heard the news talk about that.

[John Holmberg]

Finish, bro. Okay. What? What'd you say?

[Brady Bogan]

Are they throwing dildo out there, too?

[John Holmberg]

Who? The news? I think so. I think the news is doing it as well. What are you talking about? Is Troy Hayden basically saying. I thought you were accusing Troy Hayden of actually being the guy chucking the dildo. No. You're saying is the news reporting on this and saying. They're saying an object object and then they throw a censored bar over. Yeah, I've watched it a couple of times. They're being. They won't say dildo only in print and radio. That's right. In the dying mediums of print and radio, we can say dildo all we want. Thank you, radio executives, for effing up this entire industry. We can say dildo pretty freely now. And it's where the dirty, you know, special ed class. All right, well, yeah. So I. Yeah, I gotta pay attention. I don't think if Mark Curtis said dildo, I'd lose my mind. Right?

[Brady Bogan]

And I haven't.

[John Holmberg]

You know what, though? Channel 12's ratings haven't been great. Maybe if they started that.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll ask him to throw it out.

[John Holmberg]

There a couple times. Text him real quick. Let's see. I'll. I'll text Hayden, you text Curtis and go, hey, what's with dancing around the obvious here? You guys are newsmen. They'll show me a motorcycle on the side of the ground and tell me a dude died. They draw the line that's saying dildo. Are Ladonna and Jim Sharp using it or Ladonna's using one right now? Oh, you mean the word. Oh, I'm sorry. And probably on Sharp. Sharp. We got an eight minute commercial break. I'm gonna wreck your ass. Cue the Steely Dan peg Sharp. You're getting a little loose. We might have to go buy an extender. It's like we're going up a size. Son, you grew into your shoes. Yeah. I don't know what Ladonna does with her free time, but I imagine there's a wall. Are they using the word? It's like, it's like Brady's beer cans. He's getting the build shelves in the garage. I don't know this ladonna because I'm scared of her. But she works over there at the news station. Yeah. That is weird when you think about it. I've always had that strange feeling about the news. They'll give you some terrible information. They try to get as close as they can to horrible accident yesterday. Somebody. I don't know if the guy died or not. Motorcycle crash on the 202. There are close ups of the motorcycle on its side. And they're telling me about the injuries and the diet of death and that little girl that drowned and was killed by her parents. I give you all the details. Saying the word dildo, though. And it's not the news guy's fault. I've heard Troy Hayden say dildo. Not on the news when Troy is a human. But it would be some biddy who clutches her pearls if she hears the Word dildo and she'll listen to death and dismemberment and murder of children and whatever and that's fine. Say the word dildo and she's gonna call. Yeah, that's. You get a. You know, I'd much rather they were allowed to talk about dildos than they would about some 10 year old girl murdered by her parents and tossed in a ravine. I got way too much info on that one. That's terrible.

[Brady Bogan]

But yeah, stick to the bat in the mouth.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, bats and mouths and stuff. That's. That's fun. I honestly, I don't understand why traffic accidents from yesterday are on the news today. That's simply salacious. You know, look at this gross scene. There's no reason to tell us that the freeway yesterday had a problem and somebody's dead. And then they act like they're trying to. We're trying to protect the family so we won't identify them because they don't know yet. But they're showing the car and let.

[Brady Bogan]

People know to be safe on the roads.

[John Holmberg]

And I'll tell you this, if Brady just doesn't show up one day at home and then the cars. And then they show his car all mangled on the freeway and they're like, we're protecting his identity because his family might not know yet. Well, his family didn't love him that much. If he hasn't been home since yesterday and the picture of his car in the news has made him. He'll get around to it. We'll see him someday. They're not very nice at the news. They're showing you dirty stuff. That Saturday morning news when they do like a French toast segment and then tell you, like 10 kids were killed in the pool and they're flying a helicopter over the pool. And I'm like, jesus Christ, I was just eating the French toast. You guys just gave me a good idea for breakfast and then told me about a dead kid in the pool. And you can't say dildo. Our listeners would find that to be beneath us. You flew a helicopter over a family's house after their kid died in a pool. Dildo's back. Are they going to Jim Cross for any of this? Because, I mean, he's a fire. He's, you know, Jim's retired, the expert in the zone and everything else. He was pretty amazing. I miss Jim Cross. We should just call.

[Brady Bogan]

He hasn't gone, like I hear from him on the fire stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Well, maybe. Well, he says that that's his expertise, but it would be nice if they're like. We called in our biggest. Our super reporter Jim Cross to go down to the arena and see what's going on. Yeah, Jim, evidently they're tossing dicks around here like nobody's business. But none of the girls on the floor seem interested. I've asked, you want to see my dick? And they all said no. Jim Cross, retired ktar. Go F yourself. I miss him. I do too. I missed how much he hated his reports. Yeah, Jim, let's throw it out to Jim Cross, make it a long report. Cross, I got work to do on Sharp Sis. Ladonna. That's a name right there. Anyway, if you want to go to the WNBA game tonight, have at it and stuff right in there. Speaking of ban and stuff, the NFL banning smelling salts because first and foremost I've had that before. You ever had your bell rung and you smelling salts, that stuff is amazing.

[Brady Bogan]

Not the bell rung, but I've it lifted cures you not for anything, just to.

[John Holmberg]

To try it, man. I got someone had on the side boxing. Ray and I were in a thing and I took a guy, we had a good battle going and he got me a couple of times and then I tagged him. That was a liver shot that kind of was going to end him. And then I took a right to the. I popped him good. I know I got him on that. I. I dizzied the dude. And he was sitting there for a second and Ray's like, all right, all right, that's enough. You guys trying to kill each other out there. And I had my bell rung too. I wasn't 100%. This guy was. He knocked me good. We both got the smelling. I have never felt better in my life than going from floating around with bubbles popping out of my head. One. I was fine. I don't know what that stuff is, but they. It cures it. Which I guess is the danger if you've got a concussion that you completely. All your symptoms are gone. And to do it without a problem is cocaine. It is an. It is. And that's what George kittle of the 49er said. I do that every drive before every drive, I knock some of that out and I just.

[Dale Hellestri]

It.

[John Holmberg]

It is an energizer. It's a cheat code. And if you've ever had it because you got your head knocked, it's a cure.

[Brady Bogan]

And by the definition, I guess if it's, you know, enhancing.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, no, that's not a performance enhancing thing. That's not why they're banning it. They're not banning it for that. They're banning it because it masks concussion symptoms. Your brain's still damaged. Yeah, but it doesn't know it. After that stuff, the ammonia packs, they're kind of a 1A to the smelling, so they're. They don't get it done in the same way.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm just bringing that. I'm just mentioning that because really, you're thinking you're. You're using that over.

[John Holmberg]

That would be like banning caffeine, though. I mean, it's not a thing that's going to make you better. It's just going to give you, like, it just takes all the cobwebs. It's amazing. And you do juice, but you're not stronger or faster because of it. You just are out there feeling like you feel great. But. Yeah. So George Kittle's been doing, and I'm sure he's not the only one that takes a hit of that smelly sauce before every drive. And they're trying to ban it. Well, he went right over to the NFL, the league, and did a speech, and he's like, there's nothing about this that's bad. I understand you banning it. If somebody gets their head knocked in, we can't do it. But that's all boxers do. If you ever watch a boxing match, seventh, eighth round, a dude who's got knocked around a little bit, or if he just got knocked down, he comes back to the corner, they're hitting him with that stuff. And sometimes his. His head is so scrambled, it doesn't work. And if you've ever had it, you know how bad your head has to be scrambled or they can't inhale it. Well, there's a couple I've. I've watched. Well, the. Tim. The best fight I've ever watched in my life, Ruslan Provodnikov and Timothy Bradley. And I think that was 2013. It is the best fight I've ever watched in my life, but much better than Hagler Hearns. And that's amazing stuff. Yeah, these guys knock each other out on their feet multiple times in the fight and keep fighting. You've never seen anything like it. Mickey Ward and Gotti, they had their fights, and Mickey Ward said he got a concussion from the first punch and the second punch woke him. He said it was a 1, 2. And he goes, the first one hit me. I was out like a light, got drilled by the second one, woke me right back up. And he said, that's the only reason I stayed in that fight. And so this was one of those fights in the corner. Timothy Bradley's, I think it was his dad was his corner guy is just waving smelling salts under his nose and it's hitting him and then he's right back into the concussion. And they. Dude went out there and fought some more. And that's how bad your brain has to be for this, not to fix it. So they're trying to ban it in the NFL. So if you do have a concussion, even slight, you can't go back in the game because that stuff will make you go, I'm fine. Ask Troy Aikman, who still has massive headaches because he's like, I had a hundred of them. I can barely. And smell. Kept him in his pocket like hard candy or something. That was the old thing with trainers. They had them ready to go. Like, you got your head hit here. You break it. Yeah. And then it just. It's. It is. Honestly, I don't even know where you get it, but if you can order a ton of it on Amazon, do it. Do it. Yeah. They're not going to let players have anymore. They were. They were trying to, like they had initially said, and there's no change.

[Brady Bogan]

I thought you said maybe they.

[John Holmberg]

There's a change only in that. Well, now. Well, the one change I do think happened is that the players aren't allowed to have their own something around that. Like, they're not. They're not supplying players with it anymore. And if players get caught doing it, they'll get in trouble. But like, the. The trainers can still use it. But if you have a concussion, you can't. If. The second you go to that, it's over. They're pretty big on the concussion thing, so if you. If you wobble a little and that's. They're not fixing you to get you back in the game.

[Brady Bogan]

And Kittle's point is I'm not using.

[John Holmberg]

It right for concussions, but if you're using it before every drive, I get what they're.

[Brady Bogan]

Where they're coming.

[John Holmberg]

If you're using it before every drive, there might be a couple of drives where you got knocked around a little bit.

[Brady Bogan]

Got your bel.

[John Holmberg]

The ammonia packs are just as strong. And this stuff's amazing. It is. And it stinks. Yeah. Oh, okay. Clint. Clint cleared it up. He said the new clarification says this. They can use smelling salts during the game as long as it is their own and not supplied by the team. So they have to. Byo. I didn't know that part. Bring your own salt. Yeah. I didn't. Then.

[Brady Bogan]

It's not on the NFL.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, then they. We didn't do it. You brought your own. Well, wouldn't that apply then with cocaine as well? You're doing it yourself.

[Brady Bogan]

So you were supplying the roids.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's kind of what it says. We've been giving them drugs for a long time. We've stopped that. They were for a while supplying them. Well, then Toradol, which is equally as horrible. Toradol is. Cures broken bones for a couple hours. Put a needle in it. What is that? It's a painkiller. Oh, okay. That's when they say, put a needle in it, they're giving you Toradol. And Toradol is a. Your. Your ligaments are. That's. Ask Mark Malone about that stuff. Because Mark Malone, when he used to come in here all the time, would tell he. His rookie year, had to play receiver because the Steelers were down all their receivers. And he was. He was a decathlete. He was going to the Olympics in 1980, but we boycotted. And he came in, he blew his knee out on that turf, and they shot him up with Tortol and sent him right back out there, like, two plays later. And he had no ligaments in his knees, and he was running around like, I felt fine. That stuff's amazing. And then it wears off, and you realize, oh, I've done a lot of damage. Shouldn't have did that. Yeah. Nope. Then you just take more Toradol. That's why Dale walks the way he walks. That's Toradol. That's a dude who got an injury. Numbed it, played on it. Numbed it, played on it, numbed it. They never fixed anything back then.

[Brady Bogan]

Could still use it.

[John Holmberg]

Dale, now's the time. He needs it more than ever. The Tin man move better in the beginning of the wizard of Oz than Dale. Like, you could oil him up and still be like, a tin Man's better. Has better mobility. All right, let's find out where Brett's going and get over the hump. 926,000 bottles of water on the wall, and we have got. You know, the rest of it. I want today. I think, Brett, I think you can do this. I think your intimidation factor has been strong. And you're going out to our old haunts. You're going to the quad. Wonderful. Christ, is there a part of this valley you like? On my birthday, you're sending me.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. I thought it was tomorrow. It is today. It's Bert's birthday, man. This is the over the top day. Then we have to get you to a million. All right, everybody. Happy birthday. Brett. I feel bad that you had to passive aggressively remind us. For Christ's sake. Go to. We gotta go visit your past. This is a big day for reminiscing. That place sucked. It did suck. Larry's the only one. Yeah, he is. Larry's the only one.

[Brady Bogan]

Brett, you mentioned.

[John Holmberg]

Although the phones work better there. And also the. The idiot bigwigs didn't like going in, so they didn't come there. We'd have to go meet them somewhere else. Go back. Yeah, that.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I drove through it two days ago.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the glass.

[Brady Bogan]

Some change.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no, there's not. Yeah, no, there's not. He didn't say for the betters. New buildings, new prisons. And that's what they need.

[Brady Bogan]

They've doubled the restaurants.

[John Holmberg]

You are amazing. What too. I didn't know why even. Look.

[Brady Bogan]

The Yantera.

[John Holmberg]

It's a tire shop. That's not a restaurant.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Is now a restaurant. I think they scraped it and they put a restaurant in. It's like, great. What? There wasn't one.

[John Holmberg]

This dude drives through Guadalupe and assesses where to eat. Well, he went to El Centro for tacos at times. That's true.

[Brady Bogan]

On my way to be a shack that day.

[John Holmberg]

He was still looking at other restaurants. You realize that this is a six.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm looking at the hood.

[John Holmberg]

I know, Brady. I worked there the same amount of time as you. I don't know where anything is there. I kept my head down, eyes on the prize.

[Brady Bogan]

Remember the corner where it's like, here we go.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. At a restaurant.

[Brady Bogan]

Restaurant right there.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta stop looking for restaurants and places like that. You're gonna get stabbed. How many restaurants were down there? I thought there was only one. San Diego, which I didn't even know was a restaurant, to be honest with you. I thought that was like a social club. And then Debbie, like a mercado or our token Mexican over there for a while there. Debbie, like, no, that's where they serve all the fish. Like Guadalupe fish. Burn it down. Are you such an asshole? I'm like, I'm not the one who's an asshole. The dude who's serving fish out of Guadalupe is the asshole you have. You can't control yourself. Let me tell you right now, as a friend, I got to put a stop to this. You cannot. You cannot drive through Guadalupe or towns like that anymore. Because eventually you're gonna go. I'll give that place a try. And you are not going to get out and be okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Big food's gotta try it.

[John Holmberg]

Big food cannot control himself. If you're even eyeballing. What'd they put in there? What kind of joint is that? He likes saying the word joint. He likes to hip it up. But even though it's the least hip thing to say. Kind of joint you got in there used to be a tire shop. Now they're slinging beans. You thought about it. Knock it the off.

[Brady Bogan]

Might have to try that out.

[John Holmberg]

You're in no condition to go wandering around Guadalupe. Give that a run. See how good this is. There's an F in the window. Must be for fantastic idiot. So they turn the tire shop into a restaurant now. No, don't encourage him. He's gonna want to go. He can't keep his eyes. Like. That's why, you know, like, you just don't. You don't need to know anything about Guadalupe's restauranting. What do you. Mark Tarbell, Knock it off. Although I would encourage that if you got on that check please show on PBS and you took all those people, that was the one you chose. And that's a good joke right there. Brady, you joined us. Where did you want to go? Maurice Ghost de Ontara. The tire fish? Yep. So we went there, and it was good. And I made all these people on the show go to anyway. Stop it, Brady. Stop looking around for places to eat when you're going somewhere to eat. I am the prize man. And why shortcut through Guadalupe?

[Brady Bogan]

Because I. I need to get off on Elliot, and I wasn't paying attention. I got off on baseline.

[John Holmberg]

No, you goofed. I gotcha. All right. Well, that's acceptable. It didn't mean it was time to start exploring. Dora, we gotta keep an eye on him. Next thing, I was gonna go wandering in tring. Brady. They would know him immediately. We have your picture on the wall, Brady. What do you got? Beans. Of course we have beans. There's beans and a couple radials. Give me a tortilla.

[Annie Letterman]

While you're at it, give me a.

[John Holmberg]

Couple white walls for the old Lincoln. And a tortilla. You making chollas? What's that? Those sticks of cinnamon? Cinnamon? Oh, churros. Yeah. He means. Yeah. Call him what he wants. He's gonna.

[Brady Bogan]

Two chalapas.

[John Holmberg]

And tell you what. I know you people don't really need American money, so here's some sauce. You're a bartering culture. So am I. Go out to Brett today at 48th street in Elliot and Avoid whatever the hell Brady's talking about. Oh, that's on the other side of the. I know, but don't get lost. Get off on baseline and start eating tire fish. I am gonna roll through there. You're gonna look at the tire fish. I gotta see it now. What the. See what you did? You're gonna get Brett killed. We got out. We got out, and they keep bringing us back in. There are no. I'm gonna say it. There are no good restaurant options in Guadalupe, no matter what Brady says. Lot of new restaurants over there. Place to explore. Don't. And now, just out of spite, he's gonna drag his ass over there later today, and he's gonna eat it one. Oh, yeah. And he's gonna die. He's gonna. And you know what? You deserve it. I hope they carve a pentagram in your tummy and leave you for dead in front of the tires. Moriscos tires, please.

[Brady Bogan]

Lady of Guadalupe.

[John Holmberg]

I was dying, I looked up and.

[Annie Letterman]

Saw the statue of Lady Guadalupe.

[John Holmberg]

She had a tire on one arm and a chalupi in the other. Anyway, Brett's gonna be near this area, okay? Not for human consumption. I won't be at The Ontario. No. Safeway. 48th Street. And Elliott, he's gonna go out there in just a little bit, give us a wake up song. We'll scream it together. 585-9800. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this. Hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.

[Brady Bogan]

Brett, I sure do. It's MMP Guns. Customs MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsman. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[John Holmberg]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Brady Bogan]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live. You can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with.

[John Holmberg]

No wait. Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscustoms.com Since 1983, Nissan has been assembling award winning vehicles for you right here in America. And this size Summer. We're committed to keeping our lineup affordable and free from new tariffs. That's why we've lowered MSRP on our best selling Rogue and Pathfinder. So you can get the car you want at the price you want knowing Nissan is here for you for a limited time until supplies last assembled with us and imported parts why choose a Sleep number smart bed Can I make my site softer? Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler? Sleep number does that cools up to eight times faster and let you choose your ideal comfort on either side your sleep number setting. Get early access to sleep number's biggest sale of the year 25% off the i8 bed our most popular plus free home delivery limited time all sleep number smart beds offer temperature solutions for your best sleep. Check it out at a sleep number.

[Dale Hellestri]

Store or sleepnumber.com today.

[John Holmberg]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition mission was to throw him in jail where that water needs to be given out to first responders. Luckily we haven't had like some massive weird fire here. Locally we got that coolest name ever, the Dragon. Dragon Bravo, which is the Dragon Bravo fire. I saw it from the air when I came back from Vegas a couple weeks ago.

[Brady Bogan]

Not good.

[John Holmberg]

It's gigantic, but it's not really threatening anything yet. It burned up that one lodge, but outside of that it's just burning up a bunch of land. It's huge though. There's a natural break there. Once it gets to the canyon, we're fine. Push it the other way. But it isn't good. It is huge. When you fly by it and you see how much area it's taken up and you know exactly what it is. It doesn't look like clouds. It's weird. But they named it a cool name though. Dragon Bravo. Like that's a TV show I would watch when I was a kid. Time for Dragon Bravo with Johnny Dragon and Dave Bravo. Yeah, Dragon Bravo are awesome. Listen to this email. This is sad. You guys ready for a sad man, Sad listener?

[Brady Bogan]

Cue the music.

[Toledo]

Where's the.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe I should. Yeah, we should. I'm sad. I don't know if it's gonna make us cry, but it's certainly sad. Hey guys. The emails are still like found. Hey guys. I'm a passive person, so even writing this email is tough for me. The other day I heard John say he goes and sees a therapist. Which makes me feel better because I do too. For the last seven months, I've been working at a new place and I'm essentially the office manager. I haven't made any friends yet. My name is Ryan.

[Brady Bogan]

Hi, Ryan.

[John Holmberg]

Everyone at work calls me Brian. What? Come on. I've allowed it so long that now they Just gave me a new work email and it's Brian C at Company. Come on. My nameplate that they gave me for my desk says Brian. My therapist says it's a matter of self esteem, self worth, self value and respect to finally tell all these people what my name actually is.

[Toledo]

What's the name on his check? Is my question.

[John Holmberg]

That's. That's a great question. I was supposed to do this for the last two weeks. I just haven't mustered up the courage. So I'm asking you guys think it's just easier to let this go? No.

[Toledo]

Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

She'd be laughing. Should I just become Brian? I mean, I already feel like an outcast every day. Being Ryan hasn't worked for me. Won't this just make all my co workers feel bad and hate me? What's the harm? It's pretty close.

[Toledo]

Find Larry.

[John Holmberg]

I know. I can hear Brett already. I'm such a pussy. John. Thanks for saying you go to therapy. It actually made me feel okay that someone who seems to have such a strong and confident presence would admit to this. Signed Ryan or Brian. Poor bastard. You gotta grow a pair there, son. Really? Yeah, you grow a pair.

[Brady Bogan]

You're not gonna. And I don't think you're gonna get fired.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're not gonna get fired.

[Brady Bogan]

And if you do.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It would be tough though if you weren't a magnet magnetic person. Didn't have that giant personality to go wandering around desk to desk going, you guys have been doing it wrong. My name's actually Ryan. Can I get a new plate? Shut up, Brian. Sit down.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, if it's one of those places where they have fun with it too.

[John Holmberg]

Like, oh yeah, if it's us.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And we found out Thriller's name isn't Corey, it's Tori. And we've been calling him the wrong thing the whole time. Like, shut up. You're what we want you to be.

[Toledo]

Ah, Ryan.

[John Holmberg]

What's orange and sits on my porch? My Ryan. And I'll call him anything I want. It's. It's sad. Ryan, Brian. What's his name? Ryan or Brian. I forgot. I gotta look again. It's Ryan.

[Brady Bogan]

It's Ryan.

[Toledo]

So correct me if I'm wrong. DC has only been there for two.

[John Holmberg]

Weeks, or this is seven months. What was the two weeks that for the last seven months I've been working at a. Well, this therapist for the last two weeks is. Get your ass in there and tell these people. So for two weeks, he's gone in going, today's the day. Today's the day. Today's the day. Brian, get me some coffee. Yes, sir.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, this is awful.

[Brady Bogan]

I've done, you know, done it before where someone. You know. Oh, you're Grady or something like that. You're like. There's times you just let it go.

[John Holmberg]

Remember when Ray, that golf guy's coming to go. Brady Brogan? They call him Brady Brogan all the time. I get homegrown constantly. Yeah, but if everybody around here didn't know my name, I'd have like a. All right, knock it off. Like, this is pathetic.

[Brady Bogan]

And it's different if it's. You know, someone's like, hey, Mike, how are you? It's Michael.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And I go to a therapist to about work because it sucks. Like, I like you guys and I like this show, but I mean, for the most part.

[Toledo]

You're not going to therapy to no. Improve yourself.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, no, I am.

[Toledo]

Pick up your own self esteem.

[John Holmberg]

Hoping.

[Toledo]

Ryan, that's it. Yeah, that's.

[John Holmberg]

No, I Honestly, therapy helps with that too. Like there's. Oh, look.

[Brady Bogan]

Helps you understand.

[John Holmberg]

No one walks through this world with no doubt.

[Toledo]

100.

[John Holmberg]

No, except Blake Shelton. He's got the lead singer. No doubt. He can't help it. But I'm saying nobody walks through this world without a doubt in their mind about themselves. Everybody. Ryan, Brian, listen, listen. Lift them. Here we go. There are people who seem confident who aren't, and people who are confident who still have doubts. What I'm saying to you is everybody has a lack of confidence somewhere in their life. Everybody's fragile, but none of us are as big of pussies as to wander through work at seven months with being called the wrong thing. So you just gotta. There's no harm.

[Toledo]

How many interactions does he have in this office on a daily basis?

[John Holmberg]

He's the office manager. It's constant. They got him a nameplate.

[Annie Letterman]

Somebody comes up.

[Brady Bogan]

He might every minute.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but they got him a name. There it is. Brian.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the problem. His interaction is. It could be minimal. And so he's like, I'm just not gonna. I think it would be so liberating in a way. And the totally. You think that weight off your shoulder, if you just went in there.

[Toledo]

You know how it is here. Sometimes you think he's just dude to a lot of people. Hey, man.

[Dale Hellestri]

Hey, dude.

[John Holmberg]

I think he's Brian because he just deals with it. This guy says, God damn it, Ryan, speak up. You timid a hole. You're giving all us. Ryan's a bad name. We Always deal with this Ryan Brian problem. Being called Brian is a metaphorical backhand. It needs to be corrected. Yeah. Cause there are probably a few people who are like, is it Ryan or Brian?

[Brady Bogan]

He's gonna hear from the Ryan Bryans. He's gonna hear from the Craig Greggs.

[John Holmberg]

Craig Greggs, they have it just as bad. But Craig Greggs have gotten to the point where like, it's Craig with a C, it's Ryan. There's no B. That's all you have to say. And you don't have to be a dick about it. And I don't think he has the capabilities of being one. But you need to go into the office today and go, guys, this has been kind of funny. For seven months I've let this go. My name is Ryan. Make it fun. You're still going to be nervous because you're not good with people, but this is seven months of working at a place and they, they're getting you new emails. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's eating you a lot.

[Toledo]

John, I'm sorry to do this to Brian, but please, as a psa, please let everyone know that not all Ryan's are depressed.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, all Ryan's are pleasant. That's why we call you Brian because we just, we wish you were someone else.

[Toledo]

No, no, we're not gonna give you the info where he works.

[John Holmberg]

The worst part is. No, I'm not gonna tell you that. The worst part is, is that when people go, all right, what's your email? It's Bryan for no reason at all with an I, not a Y, B. Ryan at isoc, that's tough. There are people out there who are just non confrontational to, to a point of being afraid of losing their job or pissing off the wrong person or they're not, you know, like you said, I haven't made any friends.

[Toledo]

Oh, Ryan, John. It's a different generation. Ryan's story reminds me of my grandfather. He used to go to the little corner market at the end of our block nearly every day for almost 30 years. The owner of that store called him Roy every time. Grandpa never corrected him once in 30 years. His name is Don't. No idea why he never spoke up.

[John Holmberg]

I think I called me Mike for a while and I still don't know why he did that, but it was.

[Toledo]

You don't even look like him.

[John Holmberg]

Why do you? Yeah, I didn't think so either. I'm like, why do you call me Mike? For what? My name is John. And the guy goes, how did I miss so badly I'm like, I have no idea what you knew it for. Like, I thought you were kidding at first, but you need to go to Brady's.

[Brady Bogan]

A lot of guys.

[Toledo]

My man.

[John Holmberg]

My man. Magic man.

[Brady Bogan]

Take it from big food.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady Bogan]

Correct your name.

[John Holmberg]

Grady Brady. Happens a lot. But if the whole building that you worked. Bradley, thought your name was. Yeah. Was Grady.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You'd make a.

[Brady Bogan]

You can say Brady, and they'll say, you know, a name for your order or whatever.

[Toledo]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

And it'll be Bradley Brandy.

[John Holmberg]

Nicholas makes a good production every once in a while. Pretty awesome. And by the way, that's what I'm gonna call you now. And I don't care what you're correct. That's happening. This one says, and it's kind of true. Does he own. This is how active shooters are born. They sit quietly and tolerate. This is the Milton in the office. People get to bring the building down to. My name is. My name is. My name is not Brian. It's Brian, but nobody's paying attention. This is bad.

[Toledo]

I call bs. He's a manager.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he's an office manager. He doesn't manage people.

[Toledo]

He's a secretary. Receptionist.

[John Holmberg]

All right, let's not beat Brian Ryan up too much. He's got a girl's job missing the boat here, gentlemen. We're missing the boat on how sissiest job is to too. Let's not start bashing him around for having a pussy job as well.

[Brady Bogan]

This could be corrected.

[John Holmberg]

Like when they hired you, did you.

[Dale Hellestri]

Did he go, all right, you hired.

[John Holmberg]

Brian and you just go, ah, close enough.

[Toledo]

Jesus. Who's this guy's boss? PC Principal.

[John Holmberg]

That's a South park thing. This one says Ryan or Brian or whoever the hell you are. Go find your wife's purse. Find your balls and borrow them. Them? He doesn't have a wife. Are you kidding me? That would require talking to a lady. I'm worried about you. But it is kind of how active shooters start. And I don't want to get into that conversation again. That starts costing money. But yeah, just email me Brian Ryan. I'll look for your email. Brian C. He's got to make him change the emails.

[Brady Bogan]

It's almost tense, like you want to go. We'll call your company. Hey, by the way, you have an employee.

[John Holmberg]

That's not a bad idea. Yeah, give us your number. We'll fix this. Let me talk to your boss. You pricks have been calling Ryan Brian for seven months.

[Brady Bogan]

You know his name and.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and I know a couple. You Know like there's HR definitely somebody in, in the processing department that gets his check out every day. Why do we call him Brian?

[Toledo]

He had to show you paperwork to get the job.

[John Holmberg]

He had to fill out a paper, he had to say his name, show you his id and then when he left. All right, everybody, this is Brian. That's what had to happen. All right, you're hired. Let's go introduce you to the staff. Everybody, this is our new office manager. His name's Brian.

[Brady Bogan]

And for all they know, nothing is like. Well, his name's Ryan, but he likes to go by Brian.

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't seem to balk at it. The IT guy's gonna go what it changes now. Move. Great. Whatever brand man. This guy says my name's Otis. I've been called Owen, Oliver, Oscar, Otto, Opus, Rico, Iggy, and many more. I don't understand it. Otis is not hard to remember, but it is my name. And Otis, my man, Otis Redding. That's what I'm named after. Why can't they remember?

[Toledo]

You gotta have a good 70.

[John Holmberg]

You just have to have a good time with it. Yeah. Oh, that's the thing. This guy says. I once made this mistake with a friend of mine. I introduced him to another person. Is Brian. His name is Ryan. He quickly resp with. Yeah, it's, it's Brian, but the B is silent. It's a good line right there. Good one. Do that. You're screwed.

[Toledo]

Guys, this may surprise you, but I'm a Kyle and I get Tyler all the time. You need to correct people.

[John Holmberg]

I remember my corporate email is D. Bogan. Well, that's your name.

[Brady Bogan]

I know I'm the chick, but. But the station email has always been.

[John Holmberg]

Right because we go by Brady for the people. It'd be very confusing to have a date it.

[Brady Bogan]

But I didn't, I didn't know that when I was trying to get in.

[Toledo]

And it's D. Bogan also.

[John Holmberg]

Well, because that's his official name. So when he fills out papers, it's D. Like that's where your checks probably.

[Brady Bogan]

Say David Bogan and I. Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody understands why Brady is Brady. Even his parents don't understand why his middle name was the one they used. They named him David for no reason at all.

[Toledo]

John, I tell you what's happening. Somebody's holding a deep seated hate for all the Ryan's there at this company. They do this every time they hire a Ryan. I guarantee you there's five other Brian Ryan's. There's somebody's holding some deep seated Hatred, I don't know. Conspiracy theory.

[John Holmberg]

It's no. No harm, no foul. Today off of your email that says Brian CBLAH fire out a mass email to everybody in the company and just say, hey, guys, it's been seven months. I don't want to stir it up. But you might notice that this email is coming from someone named Brian. That is not me. My name is Ryan. You guys have all called me Brian for seven months and I just didn't correct it because it got out of here. Can hopefully we can all have a laugh about this and I won't shoot up the facility. Signed R Y A N Ryan.

[Toledo]

Tell Ryan, Brian, that the next time someone in the office starts getting a little too chummy with them, tell him to call them by the wrong name to let them know that he doesn't really care about them either.

[John Holmberg]

Or get involved when somebody comes in. I don't know what you do, but somebody comes into the building and then they're. And they introduce. Introduce yourself, hi, my name's Ryan. And have another co worker here. And then they'll go around going, do you know that that Brian dude is named Ryan? They'll fix it themselves. But the fact that you left the nameplate on your desk that says Brian and you just didn't throw it out.

[Toledo]

And not only that, this guy brings up a good point. Dude. Corporate email has signatures. So his signature says Brian in his email, but Ryan on his signature.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I don't know how much the office managers do with. And as opposed to like, he's got.

[Toledo]

To make orders, he's got to put in.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody's paying attention to that. But the guy you're ordering, he's ordering Sharpies. Yeah, but that's to the Sharpie guy. Nobody in the office is paying attention to Ryan Brian's orders.

[Toledo]

That's probably fair.

[John Holmberg]

No, you got to go in there and fix this. It is. Your therapist is right. It's a matter of self worth.

[Toledo]

Go to Office Depot immediately, grab a bunch of those name tags and say.

[John Holmberg]

My name is Ryan. Or scratch the bee out on that name thing. They. Here you go. We all chipped in. We thought this would be nice piece of black tape over who gives you. I've never been given a name thing for my desk.

[Toledo]

Yeah, yours has somebody from corporate on it.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I put Kara Rominski's on there just to give the office back when I was planning on leaving. That's really technically her office. But she's never here because she works somewhere else. Like she's only supposed to Be.

[Toledo]

Have we ever met her? Is she real?

[John Holmberg]

She's never been here. They gave her an office. She's never been in the building. I think maybe once when we first opened, open Covid made it so she doesn't leave her house. So that's my office for now. I got another email. This is a these people. I tell you what, Brian. Brian, get out there. And yes, if you're seeing a therapist, it doesn't mean you're all goofed up. So don't think that way either. You just get some stuff to sort out, and you want a stranger to help you who's got a little training. Katrina's amazing.

[Toledo]

Jesus Christ, Brady. I apologize. What the f did I missed? I've listened to you guys since 2009. You're telling me your name is David?

[John Holmberg]

We've been mispronouncing it this whole time. Hey, David Brady. That's the reason why Mouse always votes. He makes David sound like Brady, so we just run with it. D. Ryan.

[Toledo]

To be fair, John, do you know how many years I actually thought Eric's last name was Bergeron?

[John Holmberg]

Well, you know, that's a trick we play. This Michael says, tell the dude to man up and correct these people. I get called Mike all the time. Aware my email says Mike, but I'm Michael, and I will correct you every time. Especially people I don't like. To me, that's a little pricky. Michael and Mike are the same. But I do understand that if they don't know you, bothers them. Yeah, if they don't know you well, and they start calling you Mike right off the bat, you're like, no, it's actually Michael. Like, my name is John. But if it was Jonathan, and I made a point to be Jonathan, to differentiate. That's your name, is your moniker. It's your differentiation to anyone else House.

[Brady Bogan]

Let alone it's Greg. But they're calling you Greggy.

[John Holmberg]

It's Greggy.

[Toledo]

It's kind of what this guy says. I worked for a company that had another Ryan in the building. They called him DUI Ryan. I was non DUI Ryan.

[John Holmberg]

You're Dewey and you're Ryan. We got too many Ryan. Now that's an email Brian could put out in the office. We've got too many Ryan's here, so I'll continue going by Brian.

[Toledo]

Oh, no. And then there's this one. We had a guy from Africa named Mobutu that worked for us. Some people didn't even try to learn his Brian. They called him Bluetooth.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, don't do that. Bluetooth. I like that better. I like that a lot. And then eventually, you know what's gonna happen with my Bluetooth? He's gonna come into the office and go, I am the captain now. That one gets me in trouble. This other email I got, this is. We got another one.

[Brady Bogan]

You can't do that.

[John Holmberg]

I don't care. Says, boys. Woke up Tuesday to a note on the counter at home. The wife has left me. I am joining the ranks of als. Matt and that dude who died of cancer. What was his name?

[Toledo]

Gary and Gary.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. I was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in May. The note said, I love you, but you need someone stronger. I can't watch this anymore or be part of me it. And she moved in in her hometown with a guy from her high school.

[Toledo]

Oh, I get getting out, but jump right into somebody else's arm.

[Brady Bogan]

She's already out.

[Toledo]

She was already out.

[John Holmberg]

It says, sign Jonathan, the dying man. Who's okay with it? Not really. This does suck, but you guys keep me laughing. Then it says, this is the best P.S. i've gotten in a while. P.S. a couple years ago, I was a Nielsen meter guy. Guy. You're welcome. I know. I'll talk about whatever I want. Nielsen meter guys, they carry those meters around. And we get ratings from them. We're not allowed to talk about it. It's such a. It's such a dumb fight club rule in radios. Like, if you're one of the Nielsen family members and we meet you, we have to run the other direction.

[Brady Bogan]

Look at him.

[John Holmberg]

Don't look at him. Don't look him in the eyes, Marion.

[Toledo]

Hey, you hypocritical. You called a guy chuff for in three hours.

[Brady Bogan]

I was just gonna bring it up.

[John Holmberg]

But he was foreign. It was an easy out. And Chuck tried to correct I said his name. Well, he did try to fix it several times. It's Cha. We know. Hit your ball, Cha.

[Dale Hellestri]

No.

[John Holmberg]

We know. Hit the ball, Ch. Jesus Christ. This guy's pushing about telling us his name over and over. It was Joe. We didn't know. He had a thick Chinese accent. He just wanted blue jeans and Marlboros, that guy. To keep him happy with blue jeans. Marlboros. Brady can back me up on that dude. I've never seen anybody smoke like that in my life. That dude was a factory of cigarettes. Good shot, Cha. It's a Cha. We know. Hey, cha. Celebration of you 17.

[Brady Bogan]

That bag tag rolls around like there.

[John Holmberg]

I think Brady saw it. What is it? Look at the bag tag. Joe Chen. God damn it. What have we been calling him? Chuff. For the last three hours? We use these names so much, too, because we thought it was a dumb name. Excellent. Cha. Cha. It's Ch. Yeah, I know. Come here. It's right here, actually. Pretty good drive. Chich. Yeah, that's Chess ball. Quit it. Ch.

[Brady Bogan]

You want the flag in or out?

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Cha. Over here. It's Ch. Okay. You really love your name. We get it. Brian could take a lesson from Chuck. I mean, Ryan. I'm already calling him Brian. Anyway, this guy says, can you guys get me abroad? Who wants to bone a dude who has 10 months to live? I don't have time to be sad about this.

[Toledo]

Ten months?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Pancreatic cancer.

[Toledo]

Yeah, no, that's what got the swaz. Right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And he lasted a while. Got to Trebek, too. That. That one's the scary. Oh, boy.

[Toledo]

That one in prostate, right? Or is prostate the one you can.

[John Holmberg]

Easy peasy. Nothing to it. Like, 95 success rate. So catch it. Pancreatic's getting better, but it used to be that used to be like, I like 95.

[Brady Bogan]

It was, like, bad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That dude I met who got pancreatic. If you get cancer diagnosis, just be grateful it's not that one. Keep it out of there. And if you've got it right now, this guy's right. Right? No need to dwell on your stinking wife being a jerk. I'm not going to set you up with anybody.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, yeah. Can you get me a no?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know how much money you've got, but prostitutes seem to be the answer. And they're all over Instagram.

[Toledo]

My insurance was up to date.

[John Holmberg]

The good News is, In 2025, all young girls who look good are also prostitutes. As it turned out. I've learned that Escorts. Yeah, they're everywhere. I didn't know that, but I've learned that from a friend of mine. I'm like, is that a real thing? And he uses them like crazy because he's like, I don't like women enough to have them around. They just complain about everything and ruin your life.

[Toledo]

Conversation we had yesterday. If you're single and you've got money, why would you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. And he does. Yeah. And he's like, why in the world would I ever lock one in? She's just gonna want half of my stuff and. Or argue that she gets some no matter what. I gotta. I gotta file legal paperwork to divide things before we even get going. So he just hires him. He Gets the transactional part out of the way right away. And that's what I would do. If I had pancreatic cancer and I was this guy and his wife left. And by the way, your wife is a C word. All she had to do was stick it out for 10 more months. Yeah, well, like.

[Brady Bogan]

Like we were saying, that was. She was gone earlier.

[John Holmberg]

Well, sure.

[Toledo]

Maybe keep him in the fold. You could be there for 10 days.

[Brady Bogan]

She feels this would be the best exit.

[John Holmberg]

She's wrong.

[Brady Bogan]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

Best exit time is to whatever she was doing. Like, look, give me a year. He's not gonna be here in a year. I gotta watch this guy, you know, disintegrate in front of how much she was. No, that's what a coward she is. It has nothing to do with her liking the other guy more. Even if that guy. I wouldn't even say that. She probably. She might not have a relationship with another guy. She's just a coward. She can't be with somebody who needs them for 10 months. All he needs is somebody by his bedside, hanging out with him, being nice. Don't give me any guff. I got pancreatic cancer. You take the trash out. If I swear to God, if I got pancreatic cancer, that's all I do. Are you gonna ever get to that garage? I just point to wherever my pancreas is right now. I don't know, but if I had it, I would. And I just point right to my pancreas and go, mmm, no.

[Annie Letterman]

Are you gonna get this garbage out?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. Pancreas point. Is this your pancreas? It's under your ribs. The front, right. That's your gallbladder. The front left kidneys in the back. I know where those are.

[Toledo]

Funny you mentioned, John. I just dropped off a 19 year old prostitute. Uber driver.

[John Holmberg]

They're everywhere. I personally find it creepy and weird. Yeah, you know what? If I had pancreatic, it get.

[Toledo]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that part I find awesome. The prostitute part is gross. Yeah. Because it's just corona after corona. Scooping out the last. Well, it is.

[Toledo]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, now I'm not gonna set you up with anybody. And I know you can't go to the bars and stuff and pick up chicks. So my suggestion is you gotta pay to play dudes.

[Toledo]

I know you're not professionals, but on the cancer scale, is leukemia or multiple? Multiple myeloma Bacteria.

[John Holmberg]

Bad is not good.

[Brady Bogan]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

But you can get out of it. I think pancreatic is.

[Brady Bogan]

You need a lady too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the cancer whore program. We're putting together right after summer, and we get this operation hydration out of the way, and we're gonna unload some of that hydration onto you. Tell that dude with pancreatic cancer to sell everything. Pull your 401k. I just learned that about your 401k. You get a terminal illness, there's no penalty.

[Toledo]

You pull all it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I guess that's a benefit of getting pancreatic cancer. Bang everybody you want. Raw dog, Em. What's the worst case? You get the aids.

[Dale Hellestri]

Big whoop.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's true. You can bang gross chicks like crazy. Not worry about herpes or warts or AIDS to test out heroin. See how that feels. And I think I've talked to people. Dude I talked to a long time ago, had pancreatic cancer. His name was Charlie, and everybody called him Chuck. I don't know if he wanted to be called Chuck on the Ryan Bryan argument. I'm not sure he liked that. But he. Yeah, he just stopped smoking one day, and he smoked three packs a day. He's like, I'm just gonna quit next day. He was as yellow as the sun. Never seen anything like that color change. He goes, something's wrong. Jaundiced. Went to the hospital, diagnosed him pancreatic cancer, and was gone in 90 days. But the first 30 who's in the hospital, he came back for like 15 days. He was back at work, shell of himself, weak, just didn't look right. But, you know, he just wanted to be with people. We were all nice to him. And I'm like, hey, man. Because you start to accept it as a friend. And I'm kind of that blunt friend that goes, dude, reality is what it is. Let's play a little bit. And I'm like, why don't we go out and get you some dirty Haitian AIDS hookers and just put one to town and do some heroin. And he started laughing. He goes, the heroin's a yes. The hookers are a no. My dick will never work again. Like, really? He goes, I'm on so much stuff right now, I can barely pee me. Like, oh, all right. Well, you still got fingers, right? And he would just have a laugh. And then he was dead, like, 30 days later. I Pancreatic. Oh.

[Toledo]

They says, gentlemen, unfortunately, prostate cancer is bad too, because you lose the ability to use your penis.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

What's first is you can't have sex because they damage the veins down there in order to try and attack the prostate.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They make it impotent. And a lot of times you got to wear a diaper for the rest of your life. Oh, man. So that's why I'm not getting checked? Because if they find it, why would I do. Why would I want that life?

[Toledo]

Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

I've had. I mean, I know a couple people. One of my friends had, you know, prostate cancer. They treated it and he's.

[John Holmberg]

Sometimes. Yeah, sometimes you sail through.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, if it depends on where you're getting it. That's why they're always saying early detection.

[John Holmberg]

Sickness. 88. Searching for a romantic summer getaway escape with Rich Girl Summer, the new Audible original from Lily Chu, the exquisitely talented Philippa Sue. Returning to narrate her fifth Lily Chu title, this time Philippa is joined by her real life husband, Steven Pasquale. Set in Toronto's wealthy cottage country, AKA the Hamptons of Canada, Rich Girl Summer follows the story of Valerie, a down on her luck event planner posing as a socialite's long lost daughter while piecing together the secrets surrounding a mysterious family and falling deeper and deeper in love with the impossibly hard to read and infuriatingly handsome family assistant, Nico. Caught between pretending to belong and unexpectedly finding where she truly fits in, Valerie learns her summer is about to get far more complicated than she ever planned. She's in over her head and head over heels. Listen to Rich Girl Summer now on audible. Go to audible.com richgirlsummer what do you think makes the perfect snack?

[Brady Bogan]

Hmm, it's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.

[John Holmberg]

Could you be more specific?

[Brady Bogan]

When it's cravinient. Okay, like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter, available right down the street at a.m. p.m. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can grab in just.

[John Holmberg]

A second at a.m. pM.

[Dale Hellestri]

I'm seeing a pattern here.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, yeah, we're talking about what I.

[John Holmberg]

Crave, which is anything from AM pm. What more could you want? Stop by AM pm where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's Cravenians AM PM too much good stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes, Mr. Gecko, you're a huge inspiration to us all. But who was your muse?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my dear old nan. She imparted many wise words to me. She would say, never let the fame get to your head. Always remember who you are and let people get more than just savings. With Geico's fast and friendly claim support, I lived up to her advice. And now anyone can file a claim anywhere and anytime. I miss her so much. Did she go somewhere? Extended quilting trip. Get more than Just savings. Get more with Geico Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Toledo]

Hey, Ryan Brian. Listen to this, guys. I have prostate cancer, chronic lymphatic leukemia and multiple myeloma. It's a heavy load most days.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Ryan Brian's got nothing. Well, don't compare problems.

[Toledo]

I wasn't.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just saying.

[Toledo]

Ryan Brian.

[John Holmberg]

Ryan Bryan's name is his cancer. That's the worst thing he's going through. He's. You can't cop.

[Brady Bogan]

Call us with your disease.

[John Holmberg]

Read Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning and realize that when Victor Frankl said, someone complaining to me, I can't constantly compare their problem to what I've been through. And he went through Auschwitz. And he'd hear somebody going, oh, this hangnail's ruining my day. And he'd be like, you have no idea what pain is. And he realized it isn't about that. This is the worst thing this person's dealt with. That's their Auschwitz. As meaningless as it is, to me, that's the most they've ever felt. So don't discount that. Ryan Bryan's going through a thing. I know to someone with cancer it seems trivial and meaningless, but it's the worst he's been through. And maybe that's the worst he ever goes through. And he should be so lucky. That terminal illness 401k thing is good point. Batman says, don't we all technically have a terminal illness? The rule for your 401k, boy, this is a guy who's in his 50s. The rule for your 401k is trust me, I've looked at pulling it all out to see where I stand. Can I get out of this whole mess if I pulled it? What's the 10% plus the 40? You have to have a terminal illness that a physician says you will more than likely not last longer than seven years. Then you can pull your money.

[Toledo]

Multiple myeloma is different than melanoma. Melanoma is skin cancer. Myeloma is bone and organ cancer of the abdomen.

[John Holmberg]

It's time for cancer chat. Where's my slide whistle? Wahoo. Anyway.

[Toledo]

Oh, that was the wife who's telling me that the first prostate cancer is bad guys because you can't have sex. Trust me, I know. I'm leaving my husband because of it. It took six years of not doing anything, but I'm leaving you.

[John Holmberg]

Well, she stuck around till he, you know, was cancer free. His dick doesn't work and she needs some dick. She's kind of slutty. Yeah. Well, hey, let's get her with. With a pancreas. Boy.

[Toledo]

She says it's too hard when you lose intimacy between each other. I can't stay.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, then this. This lady needs to go over to the pancreatic cancer guy. Well, his dick still works before the medicine kicks in. And give him a couple of runs before it's all over. Yeah.

[Toledo]

How quick does that happen? Like, right away.

[John Holmberg]

Now, are you being fair, lady? Have you kept it tight, or are you kind of piggy, too? Have you let yourself go? Because it's hard enough for him to get a hard on? Especially if he's looking at a checkerboard cottage cheese machine on the backs of your thighs. If you're not tight, you can't yell that his dick doesn't get going anymore, no matter what. This is a sad, sad morning, man.

[Brady Bogan]

What happened?

[John Holmberg]

Said thanks for depressing the hell out of us this morning. John, the cancer dude, Brian Ryan, they need to find each other, make some sort of suicide pact. Don't say that. Brian Ryan will do it.

[Toledo]

This is giving me flashbacks to fight club. Guys. I want to just go and join a meeting that I'm not a part of.

[John Holmberg]

His name was Brian Paulson. His name was Brian Paulson. He had. Yeah. Anyway, what are you gonna do?

[Toledo]

Oh, 20 years total. Guys. She goes, no, I'm together. 5 11, 150.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, solid.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's good. Well, then you should go. This guy's not giving you the goods. He's not helping. Like, he's not like that. There goes that woman argument.

[Annie Letterman]

If I was in a wheelchair, would.

[John Holmberg]

You stay with me forever? This lady's like, screw that. If I'm not getting any D, I'm out. Women lie about stuff like that. Although they. They do show. They show up more often for those kind of things than men do.

[Toledo]

Man. John, if we were getting ratings for cancer people.

[John Holmberg]

Listen, we're killing it with cancers, man.

[Toledo]

Everybody texting in.

[John Holmberg]

You know why? Because their lives suck. And this is like an uplifting mom. Well, leading the league. It's crazy.

[Brady Bogan]

Such a topic.

[Toledo]

Hey, can we get.

[Brady Bogan]

So hard not to talk about.

[John Holmberg]

You can if you'd like. If you want to. We can bring it out. Yeah. But. Yeah, it's up to you. I would have waited, but you can do it. We've got it. We've got it hovering in the room. We talk about it very freely. If you.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I was diagnosed a couple of months ago.

[Toledo]

There she is.

[John Holmberg]

Let him talk, for Christ's sake. To was looking at pictures. Hold on this moment, Brady's having decides to show a picture of this letter. She's pretty hot. Yeah. You got to go. She's got to get some D. All right, go ahead, Brady, before Toledo interrupted. Hold on a second there.

[Brady Bogan]

I have a tumor on my right kidney.

[John Holmberg]

How about that cancer?

[Brady Bogan]

It's softball size tumor on my kidney. The good news is it's treatable.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I have to get my kidney removed.

[John Holmberg]

How about that back?

[Brady Bogan]

August 20th.

[John Holmberg]

We're all taking that week off in support and unity of Brady having to go through this. And he's been going through it for a little bit and kept it kind of quiet just to be, you know, like, well, let's just see where we're going with this first. But it's starting to look like treatable, all this stuff. It's treatable. A lot going on.

[Toledo]

How long have you known?

[Brady Bogan]

And there's more probably five months.

[John Holmberg]

You know where my guilt comes from with this is when you started to tell me you were going to the urologist and you had to go back the next day. And I'm like, oh, yeah, we talked about it. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And I jokingly talked about what, you know, with. I've met with multiple doctors on it and telling people like family members and stuff how it went down. I go, you know what's funny is we were.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You're like when I said I had to go that you don't go to.

[John Holmberg]

The three days out of four. Yeah. And it might be. Which is great. But the good news is sweet, sweet. Brady is going to get treatment and he's going to be on the right path.

[Brady Bogan]

And I can tell you from the experience of. It's just a. I get an ultrasound done every year because of kidney stones. Just checking that. And I also have cysts on my kidneys, which is called polycystic kidney disease.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And a lot of people can be. Have that. 80% people can live their entire life with cysts on their kidneys. Kidneys. Nothing happens. About 20%, it can.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Bother the functioner.

[John Holmberg]

It does.

[Toledo]

And that's where you're at.

[Brady Bogan]

And I, on top of the tumor. I do have that. Polycystic kidney disease in the functioning of the kidneys is not, you know, at right now 30%, which is fine. I don't have to go on dialysis. It's not fine. But I'm saying you don't. You could. I could live. You can live on 30% function.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna hate being around me because I'm gonna take your rose colored glasses off now and again. When you say stuff like that, it isn't fine. It's fine as well get you by correct. You gotta climb over that hill. Yeah. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And there's no real symptoms. But I'm. I'm saying it's a freak accident that we've. Not really accident. But I got to ultrasound in December and the urologist, Dr. Lynn said, hey, there's a little shadowing on the right kidney me.

[John Holmberg]

Let's take a look.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not sure what it is, but just in case, let's get an MRI on it.

[Toledo]

So the tumor. You said. So that's bigger than your kidney? The tumor is bigger than your kidney, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. So there's some weight on this. You know, not Brady. I wasn't making a fat joke. I'm just saying there's some weight on this.

[Brady Bogan]

Hopefully I'll be a little bit lighter.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I would hope so. Yeah. One kidney layer, whatever those weigh. And then a softball sized tumor, which is surprising that that can happen.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's just. That loads up in there like that. But yeah. So you know all this cancer talk and all stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

But when you know, it's kind of one of those things where people say I'll get this check like early detection. You hear stories all the time like I went in for this.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And they discovered it right there. And you know, you always say I'm not. That's fine.

[John Holmberg]

I'll check the other stuff. My buttholes. My buttholes. For me.

[Toledo]

You John Coffee. Brady Bogan. How dare you.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. You guys did it. He sucked up all your pain and it went right to his kidneys. You cancer havoc no more. What would Brady do? That's right. You took all your sinning and you John coffeeed him. Dog tired boss. That's what he's doing right now. All of your weirdness. All those videos Brett shows. By the way, Happy birthday, Brett. Real fun. Yeah, but what a celebration. What a celebration we're having today. That's crazy.

[Brady Bogan]

So I will need a kidney eventually.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Oh, there's the other things we're gonna have a big contest here in the air for. You guys can help Brady get a kid. Oh, that's the.

[Toledo]

The ghoul kidney search.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the pancreatic cancer guy's not using his.

[Brady Bogan]

There you go, Janet. You know what? You're gonna get a hundred dollar gift certificate.

[John Holmberg]

You selfish son of a. You're gonna.

[Brady Bogan]

You're gonna get a $100 gift certificate to organ Stop pizza.

[John Holmberg]

Is that true?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I would.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, you'd give him a C.

[Brady Bogan]

A buddy of mine suggested. Least you could do, give him a certificate to organ stop.

[John Holmberg]

A hundred bucks, though. I mean, you know, that's boosted at least $1,000. Party for the office.

[Brady Bogan]

Bring back that Porkopolis black card.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. This one says, biggest advice to you, Brady. I had almost a similar thing in recovery. You have to eat properly. No fast food, no burgers, strict diet. Last thing you want to do is be constipated, have digestive issues, or start messing with that again.

[Brady Bogan]

And I have not enough. I've had no symptoms, which is weird. Yeah, I mean, like, people are talking about that the main things, you know, on the kidneys, like potassium and ibuprofen are no no's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you can't do that. Your body can't process it. Right. It screws everything up. Well, we've. We've known this for a little while with braves like. Yeah, I would have figured you'd have waited till the actual surgery to make sure you get through it. But now with all these people this morning, everybody's got it. You're not alone. That's a good thing. On the sidelines going, yeah, you're not alone, my friend.

[Toledo]

You'll hate this comment, but thank you, guys. This morning has made me really, and I mean really appreciate my life.

[John Holmberg]

See, that's good. That's why we're here.

[Brady Bogan]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

Think about it. You could be Brady. Your life is not going so bad. Well, the good news is everybody loves Brady. We all love Brady. So it's going to be hard to lose him. But when we do, we'll all know that together, we loved him, but you'll be fine.

[Toledo]

I have to say, I've never looked more forward to a Brady report in my life than this morning.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, this morning could be the last. Last. That's what we keep. And that's the worst thing you're in a room with. Yeah. Brady's been taking a kidney beating since he. Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Toledo]

Brady, I have to ask. Oh, come on now. Since you're facing death, do you regret not drinking and enjoying life a little bit more?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's going to pick it up once that kidney's out. There you go. Yeah. So now we got to throw that in for Saturday celebration. Brett's birthday. Cinco de Brett. My birthday. And then Brady's possibly last one with us. Those last ones. Say goodbye to that kidney, Brady. All right? Cause we're getting rid of one of them, the dumb one. And you'll be fine on that. This email just says, what the hell just happened? So everybody goofing around about cancer. Then Brady says, I've got it too. I missed the lead to this story. Rest in peace, Grady Brady.

[Toledo]

If recent history shows, you'd better talk to Larry and see about all the new David Lee voices that he has ready to go for you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, Larry's. I actually made that joke when Ozzy died. You got any for Brady and me? Like, who else are you cursing with death? But yeah, the good news is we can joke about it because everything you've told us so far, the doctors have said, yeah, a little scary, it's not fun, but we'll get you through it. Yeah, we'll get you through it.

[Toledo]

How about this one, Brady? I don't know what kind of rate you're getting, Brady, but I'm a veterinary surgeon. I'll take out that kidney for a discount.

[John Holmberg]

Tell you what, do it. Because those guys are amazing. And all the doctor meds and vet meds and stuff. Having five dogs and knowing that every time I get medicine for my dogs, I go to the same pharmacist. I'm going over the CVS and it's the same thing. I have to go get needles for my diabetic cat. And I'm like, I need to get some needles. And they're like, oh, what's the name? And I'm like, elgato Holmberg. And it's. His name is on the thing. And I'm like, you guys just do. Vet meds are the same as people meds. He goes, it's the exact same people thing. Like, well, then why do we go to doctors all the time? Vets will be a lot cheaper. Take the. Take this guy's. Take advantage of this. Get his number.

[Brady Bogan]

Mine is laparoscopic surgery.

[John Holmberg]

Vets can do that.

[Brady Bogan]

AI.

[John Holmberg]

All AI.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They're going robots on you. Yep. Is that. Is it a discount to be a guinea pig?

[Brady Bogan]

No, I guess it's. They've been doing it for.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. That's what everybody says. And I. No, Kirby. Give Pop Pop your kidney. That's the thing. I'm an active 27 year old male. I rarely drink. I run every day. I'll give Brady a kidney for Pantera's grand prize. Oh, is that Platio? Is that Plugola?

[Toledo]

I don't think so. It's not money.

[John Holmberg]

It's life saving. Kind of overlooked by the FCC rules. I think that would be nice. I'd gladly give that guy the pantera stone. Wow, that's a good kidney. Doesn't drink. He runs. That kidney will go in your body and go, what the hell's been going on in here?

[Toledo]

God damn it. Once again, I'm typing this through some tears. Can we get back to counting how many goddamn bottles we have?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we're gonna need them all to tip them out for Brady because he doesn't drink. So. This one's from a homie. If he dies, we'll feel terrible about this conversation. But right now. And we could all die.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Just have to go into it with a positive outlook. Brady's rose colored glasses come in handy right here.

[Toledo]

Brady. I wish you luck. My husband had a tumor on his kidney bigger than his kidney in 2020.

[John Holmberg]

Don't say.

[Toledo]

Had it removed. I will tell you. Is rough. And then he went through chemo. He's doing great now.

[John Holmberg]

You don't have to do that.

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Because not anywhere else, at least as of now.

[Brady Bogan]

No. And the only reason that there is a. There was an option. You could just remove the tumor.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

But since I had the cysts on there and it's polycystic that he goes, you take it off, your kidney is eventually going to fail.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

So just.

[Toledo]

Jesus, guys. I was bummed out I blew a tire yesterday. I'm gonna shut the F up now and go. My new tire.

[John Holmberg]

Well, don't go to Guadalupe, cuz that tire shop's not there anymore. It's a restaurant. Old tumor. Tumor ass over here. Told you about it. Anyway, we all are in this corner. We're. Fix that. Don't stop it. It's too early. It says Brady expiring. Hey, Grim Reaper. If Brady dies before October, you have to sing Celebrate Me Home at Night of the Living Dead. You think we're still going to be doing a lot of like, wacky comedy? Of course we are. Like that week. He's not gonna die. He's gonna come back shorter with moon face from all the prednisone. No one will notice.

[Toledo]

Another texter. I join late. What's this about a free organ stop?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, free organ stop. Pizza cards. Brady's giving them out for people who are willing to donate. But there you go. And I told Brady this, and I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I would do anything except a kidney. And that's where we draw the line of our friendship. I'm not a match. Mine are for six footers and wouldn't fit. Probably just clog up the hitch in the lungs. You'd be breathing Funny. The whole. That's not good. It's not good. Well, thanks for sharing, Brady. I know that's not fun, but this one says, jesus H. Christ. I tune into this show to escape my problems, not hear yours. Where's the farts? Thank you for being so empathetic.

[Brady Bogan]

Give us five minutes, we'll get back to it.

[John Holmberg]

Don't worry about it. Can Brady say the phrase, must be nice to have a working kidney? Back to Cha Ching Chavez. That's true. That's a good point. Let's get them again. Cha Ching kidney.

[Brady Bogan]

I got two. Nice.

[John Holmberg]

Nice Cha Ching Chavez.

[Toledo]

Anyway, I think this guy got a kidney transplant. Brady, you cannot have any phosphorus, so that means no dairy and a lot of fruit ever again.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This isn't worth it. Man says that he's shaking his head already. That that is not. You can have dairy. Yeah. Why? Well, this guy's gone through it says you can't if you very strict again. Have you looked into this?

[Brady Bogan]

I've talking with the doctors right now. I mean, it just says you better ask.

[Toledo]

You cannot have anything greasy or you will constantly s your pants. And when you're not essing.

[John Holmberg]

I'm doing that now.

[Brady Bogan]

You'll be constipated by the medicine.

[John Holmberg]

I've been doing that for 20 years.

[Brady Bogan]

30 for a while.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you're. Yeah, but you. You know that it's going to be a little worse. Like right now. You've no sims by the time I'm.

[Brady Bogan]

Not planning on going heavier, Big Food's not going to be expanding more stuff.

[John Holmberg]

But Big Food shook his head at the dairy thing as if to say, you're out of here. Come on. I'll eat what I want. That's the danger of this. The same as the blood pressure deal. I know you're predisposed to it, but you decided to go ahead and step on the gas, too.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I have the feeling his doctors heard that, too. You know you can't have dairy anymore.

[Annie Letterman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Sure. You got it.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody's been telling me how bad food is. Come on. Yeah. The AI surgery makes decisions based on probabilities. That thing's gonna take one look at Brady's insights and so you back up. Stop it. The man just poured his heart and kidneys out onto the table.

[Brady Bogan]

Pull it out.

[John Holmberg]

Crawl. Be nice to him, for Christ's sake. I just tuned in. Is Brady dying? That would suck anyway. I'll trade him one of my kidneys for a truckload of that sauce. He's got a truckload. And the promise that he becomes vegan for one year.

[Annie Letterman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Toledo]

Everybody go to the cookie window today in Brady's memory.

[John Holmberg]

That's right, get cookie window. And give your pets a hug in honor of Brady. It's not fun. Guy says you make it sound funny, and that's what really helps. Truth of the matter is, when you're losing a body part, you're on your way out. I always thought it was funny. You people are not. Bedside manner of the KUPD audience is horrible. I thought we were rough on you with the jokes. Jesus Christ, Brady.

[Toledo]

I had my left kidney removed two years ago due to a cancerous tumor. The recovery sucked. They cut me next to my belly button. Felt like I was kicked in the stomach by a donkey for weeks.

[John Holmberg]

This guy, like, you know, Brady did not listen to that doctor 100% when he went over the post op diet, he downloaded the info he wanted to hear. That's a tendency of yours. And that's why tough love me is like, no. He said no dairy. He said no. He didn't say, put the ice cream down. And I don't want you pooping your pants in here. You're gonna eat nothing but celery. That's it.

[Toledo]

Leave it to Brady to one up on Brett's birthday day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you like attention, Brett? Hold my beer. And then my kidney anyway. All right, we'll get a wake up song.

[Toledo]

So homeburg is meatloaf this morning. I'd do anything for you, but I won't do that.

[John Holmberg]

I'm sorry. All my stuff's staying inset, but I'm too tall for Brady. Like, that's like. It wouldn't work. It's like lining up genitals.

[Toledo]

Hold on a second. Didn't we just go through a week of bull sessions? Shouldn't that have cured. Cured that cancer?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right. Or the bull.

[Brady Bogan]

I didn't though.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, that was busy eating ice cream. Final bowls of ice cream. He was making that bowl single by the end anyway. Yeah, another guy said I had it too. No dairy.

[Brady Bogan]

They've been telling me that for years.

[Toledo]

As I'm holding a pizza.

[John Holmberg]

This is the worst one I've read so far. It's a picture of Drago from Rocky 4. And it says, if he dies, he dies. And then it says, go blue. Wow, that's solid. I could guess Sergio. He's a Michigan fan.

[Brady Bogan]

It's relentless.

[John Holmberg]

If he dies, he dies.

[Dale Hellestri]

Go blue.

[John Holmberg]

What an. Well, I'm in your corner, Brady, for Everything except that whole transplant. That sounds crazy. I mean, if it came down to it, they're like, you're the only one. I'd probably give you one.

[Toledo]

I've seen this before. How long after Brady goes do we start calling the show John and Friends?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's happening. Yeah, it's. I'm Beth. I killed one of my own. It's incredible. Yeah. This one says, brady, you have the best job in the world to get through this. 23 years post breast cancer, tumor and mastectomy. I am a firm believer that laughter is the best medicine. John and the boy. Keep it up. Make him laugh. He'll be fine. Yeah, while he's still here. We'll try. It's not easy. He's a downer. He's a real downer. Wandering around with all these lumps.

[Toledo]

Seriously, Brady, how much info has Kirby given you on medical marijuana right now?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you should talk to her for a little bit. Hey, man, you don't need. Dare you, man. All you gotta do is hit the bong, man. Come on in here. Roll up the rug. Anyway, Brady, we tease because we love. And we've gotta get used to it. Gotta find the jokes now, because eventually we're gonna have to never stop. No, it'll never stop. We can't do it. What's the. Well, we got Action Ride Shop. Bringing you this incredibly upbeat. But that is big.

[Brady Bogan]

We got it out of the way.

[John Holmberg]

In all seriousness. Yeah, that was. That was a. That's a big moment. So you are loved. You know that? And we'll take care of everything we need to while you're not here. Actually, we are taking that week off because in solidarity, there's no way I could do this show while Brady's getting his kidney removed. And then he. Let's say he drops dead on the table right when we're in the middle of Brett, who can fart louder. Yeah. And then it's like, oh, Brady. Just like. We can't have that happen. So that week is going to be a quiet one for the show as we all sit back and.

[Brady Bogan]

Going to Labor Day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then goes right into Labor Day, and then it pops back and we'll probably do a Tuesday or Wednesday without you. And then you're going to come back and it'll be a big celebration of parade. I was expecting maybe to tell the masses of your masses, like the couple of days before we went out. This is fine, though. Whenever you're comfortable with it. That's how I feel, man. And it's.

[Toledo]

Thanks to our terminally ill listeners.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. For bringing it up. And Brady. I mean, you're terminally ill. He can be treated. Yeah. So winner, winner, kidney dinner. You don't get to keep it or see it. Have him take a picture at least. Right.

[Brady Bogan]

My. What is funny, in a way. I'm getting the operation on my brother's birthday. And I told him his breath will be in the Mail on August 27.

[John Holmberg]

Bloody lump of kidney. That's pretty.

[Brady Bogan]

And he's a science teacher, so if.

[John Holmberg]

I carve that right up. Yeah, that's good stuff. The Wake Up Song is brought to you by our friends at Action Ride Shop. It's over there on. Well, that's a transition, wasn't it?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I had to get to the billboard. It's over there on Gilbert and Gilbert Night 60. And then, of course, McDowell and Power. You get out there and grab all your stuff for biking. Brady's kid. But bike or, you know, go hiking. Brady can't hike anymore. There's an Action Ride Shop. Have wheelchairs. Maybe we can get a couple of.

[Brady Bogan]

Those out there and get you trikes.

[Toledo]

They do have trikes.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want you. Pedal. Electric trikes. Pedal shoots right out that hole. We don't want you. You'll crap your pants. Don't say that. No, you can't. For a little while, then you can. But don't start saying, I'll get.

[Brady Bogan]

I got a couple of weeks.

[John Holmberg]

Ride your bike over to the ice cream shop and screw this all up again.

[Toledo]

If anybody's attitude is going to power right through this, it's his.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What? You've got ice cream all over your face. No, I don't.

[Brady Bogan]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Toledo]

And you're gonna be here, Rooster tailing.

[John Holmberg]

Look who showed up. Rooster tailing up his back, looking at us going, I got the cancer. What are you gonna do? Stop eating all that ice cream.

[Toledo]

Must be nice to have two working kidneys.

[Annie Letterman]

I'm sorry.

[John Holmberg]

I don't walk around without crap in my pants. Must be nice, Rockefeller. I don't know what that means. Stop eating that ice cream. And Adam says, dibs on Ronnie after Brady dies. All right, that's enough. There's a lot of those. I avoided those. None of you bastards are allowed near us anyway. Give some kidneys to be sent to 1100 52nd Street.

[Toledo]

Well, the songs start out for Ryan Bryan. Say My Name by Destiny's Child. Ryan Bryan. Birthday Death Day by death clock. For Brett 2 Live Crew. Throw the D for Brady and Brett. For those about to rock. We Salute you. Shut up. A you face for Brett.

[John Holmberg]

Just thought of something. The way this company works. Brady, I'd like to volunteer Hubbard Broadcasting's money to pay for all of your stuff. Awesome. You know what? I think that's a good idea. There you go. Hubbard will take care of everything you need. In fact, I'm gonna give you DAV Bessler's kidney. I just volunteered that. If Bessler just gave you a kidney, I'll have him send that right over.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a powerful kidney.

[John Holmberg]

That's a nice thing to do to just. You can. He doesn't know it, but. Ah. It's the way it works. Sorry, buddy.

[Toledo]

We Die Young by Allison Chains.

[John Holmberg]

Don't do that. That's a great song. And he's not young, so it doesn't count. Oh, it's not fun. Yeah, I. I actually. I do like that song quite. I bet, though.

[Toledo]

Anything suicidal for Brett's birthday? Bullet for my Valentine? No. Easy Way out, the remake.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, Paula Proc, who's listened to us. I believe she was the one who. I was. Her daughter had cancer for like four years.

[Toledo]

Oh, jeez.

[John Holmberg]

That. And she says, and your show has had cancer a lot longer than Brady. Yeah, Here we go. It's been sitting across from me the whole time. It's very true. You pick one. I like the We Die Young. All right. We do. It's a great song. Allison, change. We're very late because Brady pushed the. And now we got to get commercial. Got to catch up. This is all. I'm getting texts from my friends going, so that week you're off. When Brady's getting to surgery, we head into Vegas. Yeah, I'm gonna take advantage of my time off. I mean, I'm fine. No, Jordan. Yeah, says Brady. You must hang on. Something happened to me this summer, and I need to spend more time with you, son. Caitlyn. Oh, my God. She's got that Munchausens.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

She's. That. She's the prisoner of her own captor and she's fallen in love with him. That's. What is. That's not Munchausen's. What's that one called? When you fall in love with your. Your captor. I forgot. It doesn't matter anyway. Caitlyn loves you. We all love you, Brady. That's the way it is. Be nice to Brady. Stop being dicks on the thing. Stockholm syndrome. That's right. It's Allison Chains. We die young. It's 98. It's not weird. It's Pretty cool, actually.

[Brady Bogan]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this.

[Dale Hellestri]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. It's Brett's birthday, and Brady ruined it.

[Brady Bogan]

I did.

[John Holmberg]

Brady ruined Brett's birthday and he. Hi, Brett. Happy birthday. Yeah, thanks. What a selfish prick. Yeah, what a selfish prick. Couldn't wait till tomorrow. Had to ruin your birthday with a big cancer report. Unbelievable. Yeah. By the way, I got an email from Nicholas that says, hey, Brian Ryan, you started this. This your stupid, sad email. F you for crying about your name. You gave Brady cancer. Yeah, we can look at it from that. Because prior to that letter, we didn't know about Brady's cancer. Idea says, I don't know the policy. And this is such a great email. It's from Andre, one of our black listeners. Brett, you're gonna like this. It says, I don't know the policy at Hubbard broadcast, and he spelled both words wrong. It's. It says, but if they allow black guys. Can I have Brady spot, please? Yes. My spot. You mean the shadow on his kidney or. Which kind of spot are we talking about? This is. Will there be a job opening as soon as Brady's gone? I'd like to read the news. I'm almost positive I can get through it as well as Brady does. Just kidding. I love you, Brady. Signed, Sean Rockefeller, your blind listener. Hey, could we probably get you ready? We're not gonna do any Brady.

[Brady Bogan]

Definitely read it better.

[John Holmberg]

This one says, I can't help but feel somewhat responsible for your diagnosis, and I serious sincerely apologize. I've been experimenting with a hait witch doctor, and I think something went wrong and it hit the wrong guy. We missed our target. Sincerely, Paula the Toledo hater. Yeah, she's been trying to witch doctor in a little bit of poison to Brady. Yeah. So there you go, Brett. A big plans for your birthday. You're gonna go see if your kidney's a match for Brady. That would be the ultimate gift, wouldn't it? No, I ain't doing that. You're not giving Brady a kidney. You already ruined my birthday. I'm not giving nothing. That's right. Selfish son of a bitch, this guy. I just got another one that says, man, countdown. There's only 12 Brady reports left. And, like, Jesus. Well, no, there's not, because surgery's on, like, a Tuesday. Yeah. Yeah. Then we're not coming in on Monday, So there's only 11 left. Really? And that's if we can get to the. We should play countdown to shutdown for Brady today. Every day's a gift. Every day's a gift. Brett, don't you pile on. What? Hey, buddy, I used to work there. Can I come in and have my job back? No, no. Brady's gonna be fine. Knock it off. Brad is out there this morning. He's. You're in worse shape than Brady. You're at 48th street in Elliott, for God's sakes. You're near Guadalupe? Yeah. It's unbelievable.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you travel through the quad?

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm gonna do that on the way back. I was running a little bit behind, so. But no, I'm gonna. I'm gonna see the tire shop restaurant that you keep raving about, so. Mariscos Yantera. Yes. Fish and Tires. It's a delicious new restaurant in Guadalupe. You're collecting that water? Like I said, 926,000 bottles so far. Looking to get a million before Labor Day. We've got a couple weeks to go. I think that's pretty good. We'll throw it in there, save Brady. It'll be on all the water towers. It's like Ferris Bueller. We do the million for Brady. How about that? And that'll be the thing. Yeah. He. He can know when he's laying on that bed and he holds my hand, he goes, at least we got Tim a million. And then, like, ah, we did it. You guys can help out with that. Brett, where are you at right now? How's it going? Yeah, we're 48th street and Elliot right here at the Safeway, and we're. It's going. So it's going pretty good so far, but of course, we can always use more. So come on out here, donate some water, and like we always say, if you don't got time, just drop off that envelope, drop off some cash. I'll go in there and do some shopping for you. And you know that. You know, it's my birthday. I'm out here struggling with this heat. Yeah. And some guy brings me a bottle of ragu for my birthday. I'm like, are you kidding, man?

[Brady Bogan]

Can't get any better than that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That sounds amazing. Congratulations. What a day. Yeah. Yeah. You're Italian. That's got to be a tricep. You should do. You should do ragu shots at the. At the van this morning. Pour them out in a little cups.

[Brady Bogan]

Great idea.

[John Holmberg]

Make the listeners pop some ragu shots. Now bring the sambuca off. Screw that ragu. Float some sambuca on top of it. Salute. There you go. That's not. But, yeah. Come on out here. Bring out that. Bring out that water for us. We are trying to hit the million. We will hit the million. I guarantee it. So. And while you're out here, we'll sign you up for Pantera tickets. I got some. I got some KUPD swag for you as well. Of course, we got to thank Learner and Row Amco and of course, Albertson Safeway for helping us out with this big shindig we're having out there. You go. And don't turn your back on Guadalupe. And hopefully Awatuki and Chandler show up and drop water. Yeah, that'll be a good thing. Safeway, 48th Street. And Elliot, that is where Brett is at the Safeway collecting more water. We'll talk to you in a little bit. Okay, See you. Ready? That's a nice thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Happy birthday.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Happy birthday. Get him some balloons. Got an email. It says, I'll take that spot. Everyone needs a token Indian. That's from San Sanjay. I don't think he wouldn't come in the building. There's a shower in it, and that's like Kryptonite, right? Yeah, they don't like showers.

[Toledo]

You can put a bucket of mud outside somewhere, right?

[John Holmberg]

No, they just like to see that. That's their beautiful vistas. They. He'll just poop in it. Oh, yeah. No Sanjay. Nobody needs to token Indian. We give him all sorts of heat about it. And I'm glad he's back because his daughter was wandering around the building for a while there without him, him for, like, days. What's going on around here? That's new. So that's a thing. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows as. He's done enough, by the way. And it's brought to you by our friends, allpro shade. Allprochade.com they'll get you started on making shady spaces in your backyard. So you. Or front yard, wherever you want some shade. If you want shade in the side yard, let's do that. All Pro shade will come out, give you an estimate. They won't charge you for that thing. You give them your idea, they expand on that idea and make you guys say, hey, we're getting shade. Gonna drop those temperatures up to 20 degrees, blocking all that UV, the dangerous sunlight, and making it really nice, livable space in your backyard. Even though today dropping at 20 degrees is only 100 degrees, that's still better than 117. That's for darn sure. AllProchade.com Get Shady today Brady. Report it.

[Brady Bogan]

Good Thursday morning to you Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Hello world. World. Hello friend.

[Brady Bogan]

Happy national cycle to work day.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't know that. I would have done it.

[Brady Bogan]

Couple of basis fun facts. Miller Light was originally called Gablingers diet beer when it was developed in 1967.

[John Holmberg]

A little long, a little wordy. Well, it is now.

[Brady Bogan]

But I have that beer can.

[John Holmberg]

They made it Gamblingers. Did they really made a Gamblingers? Oh, what year was it?

[Brady Bogan]

70 67.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Gablingers. Somebody suggested we melt down all those cans and make a casket. I think people are the worst.

[Toledo]

Like a tomb.

[John Holmberg]

The metal big. Neat enough.

[Brady Bogan]

But I'd make an urn.

[Toledo]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. The big ass urn with all those cans. We're gonna need it.

[Brady Bogan]

The estimated value of the 843 acres acres of land in New York Central park was estimated to be 529 billion in 2005.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. It's trillion.

[Brady Bogan]

Recent estimates.

[John Holmberg]

Three.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Three trillion.

[Brady Bogan]

40 trillion.

[John Holmberg]

40 trillion since. In 20 years.

[Brady Bogan]

In 20 years.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. It went from 500 billion 529 to 42 in.

[Brady Bogan]

In 20 years.

[John Holmberg]

Something's not right. That can't work.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know what it is on Zillow.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What happened there? Nothing's gone up like that in 20 years. That's.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean it's got to be based on, you know, stuff that's been selling around there and then saying. Okay, well if you're gonna put a building there.

[John Holmberg]

I can't even do the math on that. Like I can't.

[Toledo]

Like I can't footprint of one of those building.

[John Holmberg]

Like what's $500? What would it have to turn into to be. I don't even know how to get to 40 trillion from 500 billion. I guess that's half. So it's 80. I don't know. It's 80 times. It grew 80 times its value. Right. New York did.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

It's like if you've got a $500,000 home here.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but it would be 80 times. Then your house would be worth $400 million. That doesn't add up. Something's wrong with that. Not saying it's not right. I'm just saying there's a leak in the system.

[Brady Bogan]

The very last line.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe Luigi was right. Something's not right there.

[Brady Bogan]

The very last line of Marvin Gaye's Sexual Heat Feeling.

[John Holmberg]

I remember the ending.

[Brady Bogan]

Which you can barely hear as the song fades out.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gay.

[Brady Bogan]

Are you ready for this?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

I just said wake up, wake up, Wake Up.

[John Holmberg]

That's not the last one.

[Brady Bogan]

Please don't procrastinate. It's not good to masturbate.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I did know that. I've read that before. Yeah, because he wants sex. He doesn't want to beat it anymore. And then it turned out he was a homosexual.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That was why his dad was so mad. Mad at him. Marvin Gaye's story needs to be a movie. It would be a good one starring Terrence Howard.

[Brady Bogan]

This is my favorite one.

[John Holmberg]

It's not bad.

[Brady Bogan]

Baseless fun fact in a long time because there's a pro wrestling move, you know, called the choke slam where the wrestler lifts the opponent up by the throat. We've seen it.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brady Bogan]

It was invented during an amateur wrestling match by Abraham Lincoln.

[John Holmberg]

You can't. You can't prove that. That's. That's Brady's medicine talking right there. There's no way.

[Brady Bogan]

Fact.

[John Holmberg]

Abraham Lincoln a wasn't an amateur wrestler doing WWE stuff.

[Toledo]

It was real back then, John.

[John Holmberg]

Four score and seven years ago, I. Your mom cookies.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This new dude with the hat is awesome. Him. He's gonna be such a good heel.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a 31 year old lady in Los Angeles. She had to be rescued from a chimney on Tuesday evening. Witnesses say they she was dancing on the roof, waving her arms when she climbed onto the chimney and fell into it. Somehow she was stuck there three feet deep inside. Kind of folded her up. Firefighters were able to hoist her out safety with a rope system. She was alert and conscious but taken to the hospital in fair condition. Authorities haven't revealed what was going on. The building was an outbuilding from storage for storage and it was by a local parks and rec department. It was used by that department.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

They said. I'm not sure if drugs were involved.

[John Holmberg]

They were. Yeah. I got an email, by the way, says I'm a physician and it's a well known fact that kidney cancer is caused by special orders at McDonald's. All of those grilled cheeses. All those dudes that made you grilled cheese when you were a kid are like, ha ha ha. It also comes from eating semen and spit on McDonald's special orders. When you go off menu with the Mickey D these.

[Toledo]

So the captions actually have a loss.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they do.

[Toledo]

I don't know if you can.

[John Holmberg]

This is the end of sexual healing. You barely hear it now. Oh, you can't hear that at all. I got nothing. It's in there, but it has the.

[Toledo]

C. Has it in the captions.

[John Holmberg]

I guess. Closed caption fans of Marvin Gay, would you?

[Toledo]

You can find it.

[Brady Bogan]

Police in Seattle arrested a guy, 33 year old dude. He was a Trader Joe's. He humped a refrigerator and then threatened to kill everyone in there.

[John Holmberg]

But in the fridge or watching.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know if he was upset for them washing. He just, he copulated with the refrigerator and then decided I'm gonna hurt some people. The police got there in time.

[John Holmberg]

He did right. I thought he said he killed everyone in there. There were people in the refrigerator. Refrigerator. I didn't think about that. Yeah. But now the refrigerator and then killed everybody in there. Like what were they doing in there?

[Brady Bogan]

But it's going to be tougher on him because you now cannot come within 500ft of a refrigerator.

[John Holmberg]

Careful how you say that. Yeah, that's. That's when you want to bounce around that.

[Toledo]

It'd be 15 go within 500ft.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And we have this lady in England. It was a British woman but she was living in Spain and she had an Amazon deliverer come to her door and she thought he was just dropping it off. The door was open. She ended up going upstairs to the bedroom to get something and there he is in the bedroom masturbating.

[Toledo]

Wow, that's quick.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah, I could do it.

[Toledo]

72 year old lady trial and get to the top of the the and.

[John Holmberg]

Be if I have it on my mind. Heck yeah. Full staff. Yes. Yeah, in a second. By the way, somebody says Brady's right about Abe Lincoln and the choke slam. And incidentally the power bomb was created by Gandhi. That's true. Yeah. A lot of the lot of more major moves are the peace loving historical figures texter said.

[Toledo]

Yeah, but you can't choke slam a bullet, can you Abe?

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, Abe lost. Well you know people were getting tired of getting choke slam. Did it come up with the powerful defense to that? I mean Abe was walking around just lifting and dropping like crazy until finally John Wilkes Booth said enough people are confused.

[Brady Bogan]

That was his lead slam.

[John Holmberg]

No. Oh, that's Chris. You're right. So am I. Sorry. Go ahead.

[Brady Bogan]

A dude in Cincinnati, Ohio.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks.

[Brady Bogan]

Paul Rudell Saunders was convicted Tuesday because he was practicing medicine out of his house.

[Toledo]

Good morning, Rudel.

[Brady Bogan]

He was luring people into gentlemen mostly into the house.

[John Holmberg]

Don't do terrible jokes in a voice like that. People will think it's me. Did you hear that? Good morning, Rudel. He's doing grease references. Announced it as signature. Put his signature on that after people go like John's losing it.

[Brady Bogan]

He performed ultrasounds on the men's junk in his house. And he said he needed to have. He was being trained for it. Need to have so many hours of training. And he talked a couple of guys into. So he fondle the junk and the ultrasound on it.

[John Holmberg]

There's no real reason for that. To have your junk ultrasounded? No.

[Toledo]

Oh, a guy has done the math for you, John.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, okay.

[Toledo]

He says, now keep in mind my math is horrible.

[John Holmberg]

Mine too.

[Toledo]

But there are 843 acres of land in Central Park. That means one acre right now is going to cost you $750 billion.

[John Holmberg]

That, that. There's nothing right about that.

[Brady Bogan]

750.

[John Holmberg]

Well, if it's 40 trillion. Yeah, yeah. 42. You get into the billions and trillions, you've gone. You've gone 100 billion 10 times.

[Toledo]

Yeah, that's 40,000.

[John Holmberg]

Billion. Billion. Yeah, it's 400. It doesn't make sense that the value can jump that high. And I'm bad at math, but if we're talking like acreage is over a billion dollars, that doesn't make sense. That can't be right. That's insane.

[Brady Bogan]

In Colorado Springs, they had a little problem. Lady was like, I think I see some black bears out in the sewer.

[John Holmberg]

Wrong. Out.

[Brady Bogan]

She looked down, you know the curb has that break and sure enough there were a couple of black bears in there. One cub sure came. It wasn't a cub, it was adult. So the Parks and wildlife came out and they just took the lid off of a sewer. And the bear, eventually he was in there, worked his way out, lifted himself out of the sewer. They have a population of 18,500 black bears.

[Toledo]

And Colorado Springs.

[Brady Bogan]

That's. That's heavy.

[John Holmberg]

They did a census. How do they know?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, they said the largest population in Alaska.

[John Holmberg]

Sure did. Hey, somebody's at the door. Boo Boo. What do they want? They want to know how many people live here.

[Toledo]

Yogi, just sign Y.

[John Holmberg]

What's your approximate income, Yogi?

[Brady Bogan]

Let me, let me just clarify. It's 18,500 in Colorado.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Not just Colorado Springs.

[John Holmberg]

Well, we're largest.

[Brady Bogan]

The largest population is in Alaska. It's a hundred thousand.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Right there. We're everywhere. It's on New York City. We should get up there, Yogi. Hey, be nice to the census taker.

[Brady Bogan]

California and Maine all both have 35000 each.

[John Holmberg]

Approximately.

[Brady Bogan]

They're knocking on the den, remember?

[John Holmberg]

Hello.

[Brady Bogan]

How many people we got in this den?

[John Holmberg]

I got 1, 2, 3. There's a little girl counter names Goldilocks. No Just. Is she a dependent? I don't even pay my taxes. Oh, I shouldn't have said that. Whoops. Keep in mind, the same organization that said we were out of silverback gorillas started a foundation and when Anderson.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know if it's the same.

[John Holmberg]

It's the same group of people. They aren't. None of them are fighting. And they went down there and found 100,000 of them over a hill that they didn't. Look, Anderson Cooper was there to try to get money from us. All screaming and yelling, they're done. They've poached them all. They're almost killed going. And then some guy goes over here, over here. Went to the top of the hill, look down, there's 100,000. They had to count them with a helicopter. And then suddenly that mission went away. You didn't hear about the dying off silverback population when Anderson went down there, the old, you know, the silver fox found all the silver backs. Hundred thousand short in the count and you're trying to tell me you can count all the bears? 1, 2, 3. Ah, they all look alike.

[Toledo]

Racism market at 18, 000 color kid.

[John Holmberg]

He said we all look alike. Yogi. He's a racist. Alita's liver.

[Brady Bogan]

Skechers have helped helicopter parents with an added shoe. They got a new model just in time for tracker. It has a hidden spot in the shoe for Apple Air 2 pack.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're doing that with a lot of bikes and stuff now too.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a picture of it.

[John Holmberg]

That's perfect. That's great. Good idea for your stupid kids. Now do it to my keys. Make me an Apple Airtag keychain. Cuz I lose my keys.

[Brady Bogan]

Kirby has it on her key.

[John Holmberg]

She does. It's so smart. I lose my keys. I have. Yeah. Alex has no clue why I continually lose my keys, but I do.

[Toledo]

Oh, speaking of of my long 14 month parenting nightmare is over.

[John Holmberg]

What? You've killed him. He's got a job. What?

[Toledo]

An actual W2 paying job. Now I could be jinxing it cuz Yesterday was day one.

[John Holmberg]

But where?

[Toledo]

@ a restaurant.

[John Holmberg]

Where?

[Toledo]

I don't want to say.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. I don't want to say. Give him the place goes out of business.

[Toledo]

No, it's a good place.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Okay. You P.D. holmberg's morning sickness firebirds. No place just on the news for having no ac, right?

[Toledo]

No. East Mesa. Northeast Mesa.

[Brady Bogan]

So nice.

[John Holmberg]

Give it.

[Toledo]

Give it some time and I'll.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we'll get food on your mic or your not on your Face on your cord. Yuck. Like eggs on his headphone cord. What on? I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

Pacinos.

[John Holmberg]

That's what we'll say. Is it Pacinos?

[Toledo]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

Uncle Sam's?

[Toledo]

No. Red, White and Brew?

[John Holmberg]

No. Is it Hopkins Place?

[Brady Bogan]

Charcuterie place?

[Toledo]

No. He tried at the Hub, though. Charcuterie police. They're not gonna hire him.

[John Holmberg]

No. Come on, come on. What's the name of it?

[Toledo]

It's called Zona Cantina.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, nice. There you go. And he's busting. He's waiting. He's what?

[Toledo]

Bus an expo right now.

[John Holmberg]

Nice. All right.

[Toledo]

Gotta learn the menu. Yeah, once, hopefully. Maybe he can be a waiter someday.

[John Holmberg]

Dreams do come true. Yeah, exactly.

[Brady Bogan]

We're opening another one.

[Toledo]

It only took him 14 months to get a job.

[John Holmberg]

Good. He's got a gig.

[Toledo]

Eight months to.

[John Holmberg]

Don't get mad about it.

[Toledo]

No, no, I'm not mad. Trust me.

[John Holmberg]

Great. Super happy. You what? They're opening another one of those? Yeah, you know the.

[Brady Bogan]

You know the Greenfield and Warner?

[Toledo]

Unbelievable.

[John Holmberg]

Amazing. Amazing. Wow. You know the business plan of a place? I've never heard one.

[Brady Bogan]

It says zone.

[John Holmberg]

Wow, that's amazing.

[Toledo]

It's a good place. It's delicious.

[John Holmberg]

Amazing.

[Brady Bogan]

Just look at both kids in restaurants now.

[John Holmberg]

Just. Just unbelievable. He knows the business plan. He knows businesses before they're open. He knows the construction sites and what's coming when it's a restaurant, man. He's the one who pays attention to that fence that has a picture of what's coming. If it's a restaurant.

[Brady Bogan]

A couple of weeks, I'll only be able to look at him.

[John Holmberg]

Locks it down. Town.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't go in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're not allowed to be in there. Cuz you're. He's trying to tell me off. There he goes. It's no specific diet at all with this surgery. He's got to limit protein. She can't have alcohol. That's Brady. That's diet.

[Brady Bogan]

Huge restrictions.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but I mean, they said drink water and it clears all that out. No, they didn't say that. No diet restrictions at all. Except protein, salt.

[Brady Bogan]

Ch. And I'll be fine.

[John Holmberg]

Eat the celery and shut up. We're gonna keep an eye on you.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a family that was celebrating the. The life of their deceased grandfather. And then they did the ceremony where they pour the ashes in the water and they played Frank Sinatra's song, the Impossible Dream, because that's what he wanted. And they're using Spotify.

[John Holmberg]

The Sinatra version.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. And they did the Spotify Version, but they didn't have the commercial. Free.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

So the end, Right. Then you got to hear this.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you got an audio of it? Yeah.

[Toledo]

Hang on. Where is it?

[John Holmberg]

There it is.

[Brady Bogan]

So they're on the boat.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, just doing the thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Pouring the ashes out.

[John Holmberg]

Pouring it in there. Spotify. Nobody paid the extra few bucks. Jesus, there's a lot of old man there. Pouring. Look at all that ash.

[Brady Bogan]

Listen.

[Annie Letterman]

This is the quickest way to.

[John Holmberg]

Clear out stuck poop. What's the quickest way to clear out stuck poop? What commercial?

[Brady Bogan]

Super constipation.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

That's fantastic. I like that a lot. Says, if you have a healthy kidney remaining after removal of another, dietary restrictions are generally minimal and you typically eat a normal diet. However, this is the part Brady skipped. He saw the word however. He's like, I read enough already, damn it. If your remaining kidney is not healthy, Brady. If you only have part of a kidney, you may need to limit protein, sodium, phosphorus and fluids. What that guy said when Brady started shaking his head, I can eat as much ice cream as I goddamn well please.

[Brady Bogan]

I never said that.

[Annie Letterman]

By the way.

[John Holmberg]

They said that if I get this done, I'll be alive. You call that living?

[Annie Letterman]

Just take me out.

[John Holmberg]

It's crucial to consult with your doctor or registered dietician for personalized dietary advice. Brady, I'll be on a seafood diet. He read the whole first thing. And you did you read out loud that very same Wikipedia page.

[Brady Bogan]

What's the most important line?

[John Holmberg]

You read the first one.

[Brady Bogan]

The opening line is the most.

[John Holmberg]

Generally, there's a minimal dietary restrictions if you don't count dairy protein. Like you said, however. Yeah, but the word however made Brady go shut her down. However, that's never good.

[Brady Bogan]

My AIO review cut that part out.

[John Holmberg]

Made it all. It's redacted and blurry, like porn.

[Toledo]

That's your safe search.

[John Holmberg]

However. Anyway, I have two quick, pretty videos.

[Brady Bogan]

I go, the first one's. They want to make this a new Olympic sport. Blindfold treadmill. So the guy is blindfold walking.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. On the treadmill, you're barefoot. Oh, my God. And you don't see it. It's just Legos, plugs. And then. And then. Yeah. Wall plugs.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And you can't. You just have to hit some tax. Oh, tax. Down he goes from the trail. That's the worst thing I've ever seen. You know what's worse about it? They're doing it in a yard.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So the treadmill is just Tossing all this stuff into the grass. The tacks are going to be there for years.

[Toledo]

Looks like they've got a rug underneath.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, good. Yeah, because that was. Oh, my God, Those little gold walls. Tax for a cork board, but, yeah, you can't win. The Legos would have taken me out. That dude's a gold medalist. He had Legos and wall plugs. Good Christ.

[Brady Bogan]

We might have done this one before, but I'm not sure. It's a guy jumping out his window into a snow drift.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. He's on the second story. Snow drift is way high. He goes to leap out the window into the drift. Oh, it's. It's iced over. Knock the wind out. That's the funniest sound to the guy who has his wind knocked out. He's dying to. Everyone else. Hilarious.

[Brady Bogan]

Died of laughing.

[John Holmberg]

And by the way, that's what Brady's gonna look like the second he sees ice cream after his surgery. He's gonna jump out a window into that. Into that dilly bar that he's not supposed to make.

[Toledo]

You make the same sound.

[John Holmberg]

Doctor says if you drink water. That's what he was trying to tell me. Off the air. You were. Room doctor says if you hydrate, that's important. So it just kind of clears out all that stuff you're not supposed to eat. Yeah, that's right. All doctors say, yeah, you shouldn't have protein, but go ahead and pile that in there and then drink some more water, and it. It balances.

[Toledo]

One thing I know about you for 20 years, you are good at drinking.

[John Holmberg]

Water in this room. Well, by the way, you're also an idiot. Somebody's got a. I don't know if Ronnie's got it in her best interest to keep you around longer, but she was listening. I do. And I'm telling you right now, if I see you going, I'll just. Butcher's cut. I'm gonna hit you in the head with an oar.

[Brady Bogan]

She was listening.

[John Holmberg]

You're out on protein, dumbass. Thank you, Ronnie. Come on. This pinhead will wander around going, but he says if I drink water, it counteracts. No, it doesn't.

[Toledo]

It's a good thing you allowed her in the room with the doctor because at least she listened to everything.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Because you heard the first thing. There's generally no dietary restrictions. Awesome.

[Annie Letterman]

That's all I need.

[John Holmberg]

Seven guys.

[Brady Bogan]

If I drink 20 ounces of water, I can have a 42 ounce.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. If you balance the ounces of protein. Beef and meat. Meat along with Tons of butter on it because phosphorus to get the dairy going. You moron. You're eating lettuce and that's it. That's not living. Seven Brothers pinhead. Yeah, Toledo. When you were in the room, he went to the. Because he was concerned.

[Toledo]

Went to his handbrake.

[John Holmberg]

Well, when the guy.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I wanted to show you the opening.

[John Holmberg]

When the guy said, you should have seen the arrogance on your face. When they got. Said, no more ice cream. His eyes closed. He got smug closed eyes face. That guy shook his head. Then he goes to the phone like, God, I hope that guy's not right. First line, minimal dietary restrictions. I'm in the clear. Not one of my doctors ever said. And he said that, Ronnie. He said that to me. Not one doctor said I really have to change much if anything is about my diet. He's got to keep an eye on some stuff.

[Toledo]

Brady, you know that pinch you felt in your back every time you mention a new restaurant? That's your kidney wincing in pain.

[John Holmberg]

He's doing it again. You know what your kidney is every time you pick up steak? It's Jackie Kennedy heaven. It's Jackie Kennedy at MMP Guns. Look, I hate it in here. Yep, it's the dude on the 88th floor of the Trade center at the airport. That's what your kidneys are doing. Every time you're. Like I said, that butcher's cut. Why don't you pile on a little butter there? Ooh, Oscar style. You're done with that. Knock it off. Don't look at me that way either.

[Brady Bogan]

I see only once.

[John Holmberg]

No, only nuns. You're done with it. We have to tie him to a bed like Mommy dearest, Force feed him salads. Idiot. Anyway, it's 8:33. Is Annie Letterman coming in? Yep, she's here. All right. Annie Letterman's going to join us in just a little bit. We'll chat with her next. There goes your Brady report. Oh, Brett, too. We got to talk to Brad. He's out there on his birthday. 48th Street. And Elliot, we'll chat with Brett next. Actually, it's morning sickness. 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness. A big old pile of them bones Allison chains right there. We got Annie waiting in the wings. Gotta get going. But we have Brett out this morning. He's over by Guadalupe. It's birthday boy Brett. 48th street in Elliott this morning. Don't forget. Also, we've got our Pantera thing we gotta do sometime before the morning's over. Busy morning. While Brady's still with us. We gotta get it all in. Brett's out there this morning. He's at 48th street and Elliot at Safeway trying to get to that million bottle mark. Very close. How's it looking this morning, Bert? It's looking good so far. A lot of people dropping off some cash for us, you know, like, hey, I gotta get to work, but here you go. Throwing some hundreds and some twenties, everything. Our buddy Sanjay just stopped by. He threw in some money for us and we got my first bottle of Sambuca. So let's get to the important stuff. But. Yeah, I know. So I appreciate that. Guy just rolled in. He dropped off a bunch of cases of water. As a matter of fact, I'm waiting to go in. And the listeners have basically ran the shelves out. So they got to restock the shelves. That's how. That's how. Out of water. That's right now. Good job. Yeah. So they're. They're restocking right now, but don't worry about it. Come on. I still got time to be here for another 15 minutes or so. You need to drop that cash or you got time to go on his job. We will take those water donations. We need that million bottles. That's right. We done with it. We're getting close. Brady needs a million dollar bottles because he wants to wash away all that protein. He's not going to stop eating, so his doctor told him it washes it out. We're fighting with him already. It's day one. He announces it day one and he's already, already his wife, his kid. Everybody's even like, no, you didn't hear the doctor at all. You're making it up. Got to keep an eye on him. That's up to you listeners too. You see Brady out there at a steakhouse or Viet Shack crushing chicken and steak. Photograph it. Photograph it. He's got to eat salads now. That's all he can have. Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not having the surgery.

[John Holmberg]

Dairy. Yeah. Countdown. Countdown to shut down. Brett, get back here at 9 o'. Clock. You got about 10 more minutes out there with us. Brett. He's out at Safeway, 48th street in Elliott. We'll talk to you in a bit. Thanks, man. See you. There you go. Annie Letterman is here. Where's she? Playing standard Desert Ridge improv. We'll talk to her next. That's 98. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this. Morning sickness, the old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Look at this. It's already been fun. We've already sold tickets in the room. There's a microphone above your head. Jesus Christ. Your spatial awareness.

[Annie Letterman]

See me looking around?

[John Holmberg]

Never once looked up, though.

[Annie Letterman]

I don't like to be on my knees looking up, especially on YouTube.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you did. You did. Baby needs juice. I know.

[Annie Letterman]

I was like, milk more.

[John Holmberg]

Annie Letterman is here. She's at Desert Ridge Improv tonight, tomorrow and Saturday.

[Annie Letterman]

Oh, I can't wait. I got Josh Potter with me, too.

[John Holmberg]

That's cool. Desertridgeimprov.com it's hot. You're miserable. We found out Brady's got cancer. And then you show.

[Annie Letterman]

That's the best part.

[John Holmberg]

I think so, too.

[Annie Letterman]

The weather's horrible.

[John Holmberg]

I go, yeah, remember when you're here last time you left and you go, I want you to die of cancer. And then you walked out the door and like Annie. She's hilarious.

[Annie Letterman]

Well, I thought you. He was doing chemo this whole time with the hair.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I want him to wear a kerchief just to constantly. Just to cover the baldness, even though he doesn't have to do chemo. Would it be great if you just walked around and just pointed to it all the time?

[Annie Letterman]

So wait, are they going to do, like, a laser thing through your stomach or what?

[Brady Bogan]

They're removing it.

[Annie Letterman]

AI with AI. Oh, my God. They're gonna Waymo driver your thing out of your.

[John Holmberg]

They're gonna race us lapiscoping. They're gonna rock it out.

[Brady Bogan]

Just be two dots on one side and another dot on the other side.

[John Holmberg]

And they pull it out somehow, obliterate it. That's cool.

[Annie Letterman]

This is wild.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Annie Letterman]

Do you think they're just making up that you have cancer so they can try out this thing on you?

[John Holmberg]

That's what I. I think, knowing him, probably. They said, if we don't use real doctors, you get a discount. And he said, absolutely. Oh, you're gonna. You just put some lotion on. You want to heal Brady?

[Annie Letterman]

Him.

[John Holmberg]

Is this a healing thing? Can he catch herpes from you doing this? I don't know what you're doing.

[Brady Bogan]

Blood is flowing.

[Annie Letterman]

I have to get into the. I have to get through the anal cavity to get into that.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, I'll watch that. We'll wait.

[Annie Letterman]

Your wife has to okay this.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's gonna be fine. It's medical. This isn't dirty.

[Annie Letterman]

She's like, someone do this?

[John Holmberg]

I mean, I haven't done this in a while. She's not doing It.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's go to break.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's the thing. Annie Letterman's at Desert Regent Proud this weekend. You don't have cancer, do you?

[Annie Letterman]

No. I am a cancer, though.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay.

[Annie Letterman]

Well, my mom calls me.

[John Holmberg]

Is it because of when you were born or just a nigga nickname?

[Annie Letterman]

No, when I was born.

[John Holmberg]

Making sure you're not an absolute tumor on life.

[Annie Letterman]

That's what you know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And I'm gonna take. We don't get a girl in here a lot. And it's not because.

[Annie Letterman]

And he barely got one now.

[John Holmberg]

It's not like they're banging down the door, but it's also our choice, so shut up.

[Annie Letterman]

No, I love. I love coming. Yeah, I'm a pick me girl.

[John Holmberg]

Let me.

[Annie Letterman]

I can hang with the guys. I'm not like those other girls. I'm like those other girls that talk too much.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we don't need them. What is your opinion as a woman of this dildo situation for the wall NBA?

[Annie Letterman]

So funny.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, me too. Okay, good. So we all agree the whole thing is so funny. Is there ever a time.

[Annie Letterman]

But did you know that they come strapped on if they're just throwing lesbians onto the.

[John Holmberg]

See that? I missed that.

[Brady Bogan]

You missed the body part.

[John Holmberg]

So after the first bounce.

[Annie Letterman]

But who is doing. Who's throwing the dildos?

[John Holmberg]

Coolest people in the world, I think. Dudes. Cool guys. So they just banned bags. They just banned bags because they actually thought to themselves, that'll stop. Stop it. Like, they don't realize where you would actually.

[Annie Letterman]

Now women can't come because we need our purses. We can't go anywhere.

[John Holmberg]

So the only people that can't go are women who didn't have dildos. Yes. And the people who do are just going to stuff them back in their pants.

[Annie Letterman]

The women come with them inside.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly.

[Annie Letterman]

When we're going to the wnba, we're going to, you know, release. We're going. We're. We have our own things on what we're going to watch. It's like a lesbian.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're vibrators. You like watching the girls.

[Annie Letterman]

Yes. As a lesbian experience. Experience for us.

[John Holmberg]

Is it. Oh, I know it's a lesbian experience. I've been to them before.

[Annie Letterman]

It is funny that to be a good baseball or basketball player, you have to be kind of like pretty tall and the stature of like a lesbian. And then you could do the. Like you do your hair back and like you just. Are you just like you go to. Were you a lesbian chicken or egg? Do you know what I mean?

[John Holmberg]

It's chicken or egg.

[Brady Bogan]

And if you don't fit like someone like Caitlyn Car, they don't like her, then.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, she's not a lesbian. She's not doing like you said. She didn't go to the lesbian barbershop and get it all straight.

[Annie Letterman]

It is funny. They hate her, but she's bringing their.

[John Holmberg]

Like, not like these dildos, though. What's been more better. What's been better for the league is the Caitlin's ability to play. Or the dildos. Fine. Nothing's unfunny about a flying dildo.

[Annie Letterman]

And it's the perfect surface for a dildo to bounce on, too. But they are heavy.

[John Holmberg]

I've offered $10,000 if you can do the backflip and make it stick. So when the referee has to take it off the court, he's got to tug it a few times. Times. Wouldn't that be awesome? 10 grand. Pry it off. And then they'll sue us and say, you encourage this. I'm like, you're goddamn right I did. At Brady's upcoming funeral, dildos are going to be flying all over.

[Annie Letterman]

Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

And put the little hot tub in the center, and you throw them in there. I think we do content.

[Annie Letterman]

I think we do closed casket. Okay. And then we.

[John Holmberg]

We starts.

[Annie Letterman]

And then if you can get them on, you can pull it. You can pull it open. You pop it open with.

[John Holmberg]

With him. And then we reveal that Brady's in there or he's not. No.

[Annie Letterman]

Brady's gonna live a long life.

[John Holmberg]

I. I agree, but soon he'll die from this cancer, and then he'll live on in our memories. I see what you're saying, but the. We'll keep the cast.

[Annie Letterman]

His tumor, like, sitting. It's just his kidney is sitting on the.

[John Holmberg]

It lives. We can only.

[Brady Bogan]

That'll be AI you can talk to.

[John Holmberg]

That would be neat. You're so horrible to join us in on this immediately.

[Annie Letterman]

Well, I mean, it kind of couldn't be a more perfect day.

[John Holmberg]

It really is. Well, not for him, but what a treaty.

[Annie Letterman]

And you're like, ooh, cancer guy.

[John Holmberg]

O.

[Annie Letterman]

Delicious.

[John Holmberg]

This is an easy gift. Normally you go to a radio stat, talking about traffic, weather. We're talking about this dude's tumor. It's awesome.

[Annie Letterman]

I would have worn black.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe if you did.

[Annie Letterman]

My pants are not.

[John Holmberg]

So. You look a little like Run DMC and Nickelback blew up.

[Annie Letterman]

Yeah. Oh, thank you.

[John Holmberg]

It's kind of a good look.

[Annie Letterman]

Listen, I'm just here to support Nickelback.

[John Holmberg]

And you have a nickelback song.

[Annie Letterman]

And I'm gonna have Nickelback sing rock star at your funeral.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we should keep it open and then do the backflip and see if we can get one to stick right on Brady's genitals.

[Annie Letterman]

Oh, so he can find. He can.

[John Holmberg]

So he can have a big one for the first time ever. With a big. Buried with a biggin.

[Annie Letterman]

Are you scared?

[Brady Bogan]

Not really.

[Annie Letterman]

Cuz they're giving you good prognos. They're giving you like.

[John Holmberg]

Well, in all honesty, he only hears some of this.

[Annie Letterman]

You're going to be such a loser if you're. It's just you.

[John Holmberg]

It's probably true.

[Annie Letterman]

You're talking to yourself like a psycho.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you'll show up every year, right?

[Annie Letterman]

I'm the rib. The rib of a man shows up to hang out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you could pop by every August.

[Annie Letterman]

That actually would be so funny. If you just animated the.

[John Holmberg]

What are they called?

[Annie Letterman]

They caught the hole. We're not allowed to say that anymore. Right. But the radio. The woman on the radio is called the hole.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I've never called.

[Annie Letterman]

You've never heard.

[John Holmberg]

But I just say it. Slot. I use different words.

[Annie Letterman]

Wait, I saw the. What you're not allowed to say on the fridge in the kitchen here.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we have that. I don't. Yeah.

[Annie Letterman]

You guys are so screwed. It basically looks like it's an advertisement. The don't is like an advertisement for your show.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's for Brady, though. The only reason to put anything on.

[Annie Letterman]

But you get a cancer pass. Now it's a refrigerator.

[Brady Bogan]

Refrigerator. That's. Don't.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If the refrigerator. Refrigerator is like do not let the bear in it.

[Annie Letterman]

Yeah, exactly. So, okay, and what were symptoms? You just had a stomachache or what?

[Brady Bogan]

Nothing.

[Annie Letterman]

Nothing.

[Brady Bogan]

Just had an ultrasound because I had to check. Kidneys. Yeah, kidney stones.

[Annie Letterman]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

Every year I get it done. And this past year they saw a little shadowing on there and like, let's get an MRI just to double check.

[John Holmberg]

And he's actually really thin. This is all just a big tumor. I noticed years ago. I was like, something's wrong.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a £80 tumor.

[John Holmberg]

What if you.

[Annie Letterman]

You just come. You come back, he's just Brad Williams the whole time. He's not even.

[John Holmberg]

So when you come back next year, he's going to be in all that prednisone. He's going to that weird moon.

[Annie Letterman]

He's going to have no eyebrows.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, his eyebrows will be gone. He'll have that big orangutan moon face, and we're going to be ripping him like crazy Jeffrey Ross. What are.

[Annie Letterman]

Well, by the way, Jeff got alopecia and then like three years before he got cancer. And then he like announced it again. Like, we all kind of thought you had cancer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we. You jumped ahead of the game a little.

[Annie Letterman]

But there's a. There's this guy out, Alex at the Comedy Store, who. He's a funny comic. He's got a. I come in and they're like, alex just found out he has like cancer behind his eye. He's wearing an eye patch. And I go, I go, oh. And then they say something and I thought they said, don't make fun of him. And I went, oh, wait, don't make fun of him. And they're like, no, no, no. We're gonna do like a charity farm soon. And what are you doing? I go, oh, of course. And I'm like shoving people away. Cause he's Asian. And I had been watching. I'd been watching Squid games, the Dead, Walking Dead, and there's like an amazing death of an Asian guy where. Where they like bash spoiler. But this came out in like 1992. They like Bash his eye. So like his eye pops out. So I was like, oh my God, you look. I like could not run to him faster to be like, it's you.

[John Holmberg]

You had your phone out. Because your reference, your reference was so solid.

[Brady Bogan]

Look at this.

[Annie Letterman]

I was like, have you been watching the 2003 hit Walking Dead?

[John Holmberg]

And that one character that you don't.

[Annie Letterman]

Remember killed off the first season.

[John Holmberg]

And then of course, you could have picked any age. Asian.

[Annie Letterman]

I know, it's true.

[John Holmberg]

We all look exactly the same. Any one eyed Asian. One eyed Asian's a great card game.

[Annie Letterman]

I love a one eyed Asian.

[John Holmberg]

One eyed Asian is solid. Have you ever been with a one eyed Asian? Not so much.

[Annie Letterman]

You know, I'm marrying an Asian.

[John Holmberg]

Are you really? That was.

[Annie Letterman]

But he's half Asian. He's half Asian.

[John Holmberg]

So you just got tired. Got tired of the big ones.

[Annie Letterman]

Yeah. Yes, I was. I was too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Annie Letterman]

I was just.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're like, he's half Asian, half Mexican.

[Annie Letterman]

No, I'm saying he's half Asian, so he's Mexican.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I see.

[Annie Letterman]

I mean, everyone speaks Spanish and it's so funny. Funny? He gets. No, no one's.

[John Holmberg]

He just looks like a Mexican guy. Yeah, nobody. I don't think anybody's done that to any Japanese people in a long time.

[Annie Letterman]

You made him Japanese.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I went Asian, but the one, the one I remember the most.

[Brady Bogan]

Threw it out.

[John Holmberg]

Look, it's the anniversary of us bombing him. We got to keep him in.

[Annie Letterman]

Is it the anniversary right now?

[John Holmberg]

Well, tomorrow and Yesterday are the 80th anniversary of.

[Annie Letterman]

Oh, my God. Way to try to, like, steal the thunder.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Exactly. Exactly.

[Annie Letterman]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Mr. Cancer. We dropped two bombs 80 years ago. You want to know how long ago.

[Annie Letterman]

Did you tell him about this?

[John Holmberg]

He. I've known a couple months.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, a couple months.

[John Holmberg]

And we were. We were basically going to let it go until right before the surgery. And my philosophy was, you talk about whenever you're comfortable, but let's do it right before you get your kidney removed. Because if we start talking about it a little early, like we already have now, there's going to be jokes and stuff, and if he dies on the operating table, then it was like, really mean. Well, it'll be more later, but that's kind of mean.

[Annie Letterman]

No, you're going to get. People are going to pray for you. It's going to be cute.

[John Holmberg]

It is adorable.

[Annie Letterman]

You want people to pray for you. That feels good.

[John Holmberg]

Does it?

[Annie Letterman]

Yeah. You're like.

[John Holmberg]

Do you notice that? I think, what if they pray against you?

[Annie Letterman]

Well, that's. It's.

[John Holmberg]

Doesn't it work equally?

[Brady Bogan]

There might be one or two, but.

[Annie Letterman]

Against all odds, you've. You've. You've become quite successful for like, who you are as the most terrible person I've ever been.

[Dale Hellestri]

Thanks for.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks for noticing.

[Annie Letterman]

Such an awful, terrible guy. It's like you've been rewarded. So somewhere deep down, like, your. Your true self is actually sweet, but you're hiding behind being just this evil man.

[John Holmberg]

You know what is funny about that? Even through all of it, he's the one who gets cancer. So it doesn't matter how you act.

[Annie Letterman]

Imagine karma's not because he's evil on the inside and sweet on the outside.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. His true deep inner him is evil. Holg's morning sickness.

[Annie Letterman]

Wait. I'm having a very weird girly moment where I'm realizing that you guys both have gorgeous eyes that match your shirts.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, can you believe it?

[Annie Letterman]

And such hideous bodies.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just noticing.

[Annie Letterman]

But, like, the rest is so.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm just noticing you have eyes. It's funny you say that.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, my gosh.

[Annie Letterman]

I don't ever come in, like, being, like, if I just come in, like.

[John Holmberg]

With your cans up. Yeah, this one.

[Annie Letterman]

Sometimes I wear these. Like, I have these. Like, it's for trans women. And I. I can't imagine women that have, like, that had reconstructives or.

[John Holmberg]

I'm half heart already.

[Annie Letterman]

This really big fake boobs I'll wear. And I like, just do like, you know, I'll just go around.

[John Holmberg]

You wear the trans cans.

[Annie Letterman]

Oh, we go nuts. And I, I. When. Who's we? My fiance.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Does he wear them?

[Annie Letterman]

No, but he, I will say he's got a bunch of tattoos and he does look like the first pregnant trans man. Do you remember when the trans man got pregnant? It was like the Asian. It looks exactly like.

[John Holmberg]

No, it was a. It was something like that. It was baby. It was Jim Be. It was on Oprah and stuff.

[Annie Letterman]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Had a vagina and a beard and all that.

[Annie Letterman]

Which is. Listen, we're intrigued.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm still talking about him. I'm looking.

[Annie Letterman]

Listen, I don't mind.

[John Holmberg]

I love.

[Annie Letterman]

I think trans men are so cute. Bring your little wrists over here. They're adorable. Safe men. I call them safe men.

[John Holmberg]

Very safe men.

[Annie Letterman]

Very cute.

[John Holmberg]

Because they're not really gonna hurt you're.

[Annie Letterman]

Not gonna hurt you.

[John Holmberg]

And if they do, they're gonna go shopping with you.

[Annie Letterman]

It's like they might throw it to be cool. They might throw a dildo on the stage.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe a tickle rape.

[Annie Letterman]

Yeah, they might throw a dildo at the, at a WNBA player just to be a real man.

[John Holmberg]

But they wouldn't make it to the court. They'd have to be on like, they throw like women. They can't throw.

[Brady Bogan]

We had one ear. And by the way, the guy didn't make it to the court. He got arrested.

[Annie Letterman]

Oh my.

[John Holmberg]

He made it to the second row. A kid hit a kid. Father. Yes.

[Annie Letterman]

And you had him as a guest.

[Dale Hellestri]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Good lord. We should though, we should teach him to throw like a man.

[Annie Letterman]

If you found this guy like, you're like, he just got released.

[John Holmberg]

My guess is he could be listening. He was adopted by a couple lesbians. They don't know how to throw. And he threw it about four rows.

[Annie Letterman]

I did date a guy. Guy. I did date a guy that had two moms.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right? And he was very bad at throwing.

[Annie Letterman]

He was soft. He was soft. He was soft.

[John Holmberg]

He was like, he was sweet.

[Annie Letterman]

He was.

[John Holmberg]

Are we talking pink pony soft or like so emotional? Oh, we don't need that.

[Brady Bogan]

He cried a lot.

[Annie Letterman]

A lot of tears.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we don't need that.

[Dale Hellestri]

And what.

[John Holmberg]

But why'd you break up? Because of that?

[Annie Letterman]

Well, cuz I started to be like, am I a lesbian? Because I'm.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You know, banging a. A woman.

[Brady Bogan]

Super soft.

[John Holmberg]

A vagina.

[Annie Letterman]

A vagina.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you. We played charades.

[Annie Letterman]

I was like a p. Word.

[Brady Bogan]

That was a good one too.

[Annie Letterman]

I'm being so good at not cursing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you did the hand thing and this was too big, by the way. Next time you do it, just use a couple. Yeah, they're like paper cuts.

[Annie Letterman]

They're pretty tiny.

[John Holmberg]

You're breaking out the Arby's. We don't need that. We don't need a Big Montana.

[Annie Letterman]

Only fans. I. I banged 175 guys in one day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What's.

[Annie Letterman]

The poor girls. They're. And they're always like so. Like at the end they're so.

[John Holmberg]

They're out of gas.

[Annie Letterman]

They're very like, surprised, I think, at how sad they end up being.

[John Holmberg]

I like, dude, 325. Just like. Just gotta stand there and stroke like he's.

[Annie Letterman]

Are they virgins? What are they?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know who signs up for that. But if I'm not first five in line. I'm not standing. I don't stand in line for the bathroom.

[Annie Letterman]

Just thinking about, like, physically what would happen to a lady part after all.

[John Holmberg]

Well, exactly what your hands are insinuating. What happened? You turn into that diamond way. You catch a football.

[Annie Letterman]

Does it get cold? All of a sudd. Does it become. It looks like his liver, his kidneys.

[John Holmberg]

His liver's fine. Let's not jump ahead. It hasn't missed it. Yeah. You're putting it in all his other organs. The guy. Oh my God.

[Annie Letterman]

I'm being really gossipy. And spreading his cancer over his body.

[John Holmberg]

She spilled the tea and it metastasized.

[Annie Letterman]

Oh my God.

[John Holmberg]

Annie Letterman's at Desert Ridge Improv tonight. Tomorrow and Saturday. Tell us what you've been doing. We're in a hurry today because. Wasted all of our time with this.

[Annie Letterman]

We don't want. I know. We don't want to waste. He's. He's got to get up.

[John Holmberg]

He's got to hurry up.

[Annie Letterman]

Evening of life.

[John Holmberg]

Tik tok. Tik tok. He's got up and he's got to stay up till 9.

[Annie Letterman]

Speaking of tik tok, I've been crushing. No, I am. I've been meditating. I've been doing good stuff. I'm having fun. I'm learning. I did actually do a thing where we were like. You're doing healing hands Sound bows.

[John Holmberg]

Are.

[Annie Letterman]

You should start doing some.

[Brady Bogan]

My wife has them. Why?

[Annie Letterman]

Oh, really?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Annie Letterman]

Cuz it. It'll make you feel. It will raise your vibrations.

[John Holmberg]

That's dumb. So do the beach. The Beach Boys do that.

[Annie Letterman]

You're going to have a terrible death.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, probably but we don't just wither away. So you think you're just going to dying a bed of poppies? Yes. No, you're not. Heroin. Well, that's how I want to go out. That doesn't sound so. What. What does?

[Annie Letterman]

Poppy seeds made now when he.

[John Holmberg]

If he got to the thing where they're like, it's terminal. I'd be encouraging heroin. He's. He's lived a life without it.

[Brady Bogan]

You'd od.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what I know. Eventually, yeah, I do it on purpose. There's the worst thing you can do is tell me.

[Annie Letterman]

I don't think you're going to anyway, so.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I'm not. I'm not a drug addict yet, but I am willing to learn, and I have. If you said, you know, stage four, this, and there's no hope, I'd be like, all right. And they'd be like, here's the medicine you need to take. I'd take it all.

[Annie Letterman]

Stage four, you love. You love performing so much.

[John Holmberg]

A stage. Stage where? Lucky me, I'm on stage.

[Annie Letterman]

He's doing a cover band.

[Brady Bogan]

But they never say there's no hope.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they do. They.

[Annie Letterman]

Sometimes they do.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Haven't you seen that Shriners commercial?

[Brady Bogan]

You have just anywhere from one month to whatever. But I've never heard a doctor go, oh, there's no hope. How.

[Annie Letterman]

How is your family so freaking out? They must be freaking out.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe Brady Hospice is no hope.

[Brady Bogan]

My wife and daughter not.

[John Holmberg]

They have a whole facility.

[Annie Letterman]

Yeah, because it's not. Yeah. And you're not. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You'll see. Doctor will tell you no hope eventually.

[Brady Bogan]

The what?

[John Holmberg]

The doctor will tell you no hope eventually. Right now they're being nice.

[Annie Letterman]

Such a monster.

[John Holmberg]

So soon. I hate to do it to him. Let's not look at him and we'll talk.

[Brady Bogan]

He's not one. We don't want to tell.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No. I'm the one who wants to be the tough love because he thinks he can still eat steak and salt and ice cream and things like that, so.

[Annie Letterman]

Those days are over, our big friends. You do got to bully them.

[John Holmberg]

You got to bully them. Bully the bigams.

[Annie Letterman]

You got to bully the big.

[John Holmberg]

We should have T shirts. Bully the bigams.

[Annie Letterman]

Bully the bigams.

[John Holmberg]

Because, yeah, he's. He read the first line of the Wikipedia that says, ah, you don't have to change your diet too much after your kidney gets removed. And then the word. And then he skipped over the next line. It's like a.

[Annie Letterman]

A seek and find. You always find, like the word.

[John Holmberg]

That's the one you want.

[Annie Letterman]

Yeah, exactly.

[John Holmberg]

However. And then it said, avoid proteins, f. Ice cream, all that stuff. And he's like. He didn't read that part.

[Brady Bogan]

Moderation.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's saying, if I'm going to.

[Annie Letterman]

Have a terminal illness, I want to go out eating ice cream.

[John Holmberg]

It's not terminal.

[Annie Letterman]

It's such a mind. It's a mind.

[John Holmberg]

Ice cream is terminal. The tumor is gone. He just has a kidney that's about as useful as this piece of paper.

[Annie Letterman]

Now, what's going on with you? Because you're softening up. You're usually a little, like, more rock hard.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, what's going on with you? You're getting a little, like, have I got a can going? Is It Might be just the shirt. No, I'm still good.

[Annie Letterman]

Your mammy. You're a little mammy up here.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not mammon right now. Still, I'm fine. It might be just because I'm slumping.

[Annie Letterman]

You're very mammy.

[John Holmberg]

Here, come touch him. I'll let you.

[Annie Letterman]

I'm just teasing. I gotta take some of the heat.

[John Holmberg]

Off of our well. No, he's a good. Get it all out of your system. Now might be less best time.

[Annie Letterman]

I want to get the cancer out of his system.

[John Holmberg]

Dude, did you really want to touch? You really want to touch? No, no, no.

[Annie Letterman]

It's sending.

[John Holmberg]

Now you're making me sit up straight. That's your fault.

[Annie Letterman]

That's my ra.

[John Holmberg]

That was lump I gave you.

[Annie Letterman]

Good.

[John Holmberg]

I got to sit up. Pop the cans out again and make them tight.

[Brady Bogan]

See what you've done here?

[John Holmberg]

Damn you. Yeah, now I'm a mess. Now I'm the worst.

[Annie Letterman]

Isn't it funny to make fun of him? I'm fat like. He's like. But I have. I have my own fat. Nobody tells me I have a fat. You never call.

[John Holmberg]

You can't look at him and see me as fat. Knock it off. We all look thinner.

[Annie Letterman]

He's not even bald. You just made him shave his head.

[John Holmberg]

So?

[Annie Letterman]

So you're not the bald.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not the only one. I'm not the bald.

[Brady Bogan]

Me into that too.

[Annie Letterman]

He did. He usually has a bowl cut, which is very interesting.

[John Holmberg]

Annie's at the desert vimp. When's the marriage?

[Annie Letterman]

Oh, I.

[John Holmberg]

It's like you said, you're engaged. You're holding the ring up. Why? Who's holding it up?

[Annie Letterman]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, what does he do? Is he a teacher?

[Annie Letterman]

I paid for this.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that makes sense.

[Annie Letterman]

How dare you think I wasn't.

[John Holmberg]

I assumed math I'm the breadwinner and.

[Annie Letterman]

The yeast maker of my house. What.

[Brady Bogan]

What does he do?

[Annie Letterman]

He's a story producer and he works in post on reality TV shows. He was actually just out of the country for a very long time.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Annie Letterman]

He got deported. He's a little Cambodian boy. He's been. He was making shoes for all of us.

[John Holmberg]

That's cute.

[Annie Letterman]

He was making this beautiful Nikes that you.

[John Holmberg]

But he does work. He's like. You say he does these things, but he's not like a waiter who works. No, no, no. He's.

[Annie Letterman]

No, he's great. And he's like. He's moving up really fast in his field.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, good for him.

[Annie Letterman]

Yeah, he's done great.

[Toledo]

Great.

[John Holmberg]

He's.

[Annie Letterman]

He works on a show called Outlast on Netflix. It's getting its third season. It's very.

[John Holmberg]

There we go. Never heard of it. What is it?

[Annie Letterman]

It's a survival show. It's awesome.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay.

[Annie Letterman]

Should be on it. This has also become a survival show.

[John Holmberg]

People who have the illnesses on those shows. Yeah, like all. Every stage four.

[Annie Letterman]

I think we should have hot people. I think we should just have hot people trying to survive. Don't you think? Don't you want to just see.

[John Holmberg]

I love Survivor and stuff.

[Annie Letterman]

And I'm like, there's Love Island. Yeah, exactly. But make them like have to like know how to start fire.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you make them actually survive.

[Annie Letterman]

Yeah, like really make them.

[John Holmberg]

But we got to give them like a place to stay too because they got to shower, put the bikinis on.

[Annie Letterman]

We don't want them to be stinky. Stinky.

[John Holmberg]

Cuz otherwise it's that naked and afraid and that just gets gross.

[Annie Letterman]

Which they have.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Annie Letterman]

You know that they're. They don't win anything at the end of naked and afraid.

[John Holmberg]

They don't. I thought they got a million bucks. They just survived.

[Annie Letterman]

I don't think they get a date dollar.

[John Holmberg]

They have to get something. Who would put themselves through that?

[Annie Letterman]

Weirdos.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, weirdos. You're right.

[Annie Letterman]

Very weird people.

[John Holmberg]

That's very true. Annie, tell us something that will change the world. We have to run. I hate letting you go early because you're always fun.

[Annie Letterman]

Something that will change the world. These shows, these weekend. This weekend are going to be. We're going to cure cancer.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Brady, you should go. No.

[Annie Letterman]

It's going to be so fun though. I like to cultivate a hang. I like. I love doing meet and greets afterwards. It's so fun.

[John Holmberg]

It's the chemo of comedy. I always called chemo of Comedy.

[Annie Letterman]

It's like let's. Who knows? Life is short. Let's have some fun. Come to the Desert Ridge Improv. It's going to be party, party. And also I'm in Tucson on Sunday.

[John Holmberg]

What are you doing down there? Did you lose a bet? Yeah, you owed some.

[Annie Letterman]

I'm going to go buy some turquoise.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're going to get. You don't have to buy it. They just throw it at you like.

[Brady Bogan]

Dildos on the side of the road.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they just throw.

[Annie Letterman]

Guys, we need to go, we need to even it out. We need to go to the NBA and we need to start throwing some pocket peas. We need to throw some flashlights and just even it out. That's right, women. We need to take back our power.

[John Holmberg]

And I've been super responsible. I'm like if you're going to throw a dildo at wait till they're on the other end of the court. Throw it at the floor. They're not using.

[Annie Letterman]

It is. I'm going to be honest. It is violent. They're.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah you. They're not light.

[Annie Letterman]

They're not light.

[John Holmberg]

To get, to get a good throw you got to have some weight behind it, right?

[Annie Letterman]

And they, and a lot of the players have big like foreheads. So it's like you're.

[John Holmberg]

You calling them ugly. They got five heads. Brady and I have big forehead is.

[Annie Letterman]

Like a unicorn of sorts.

[John Holmberg]

A unideck. I don't think that's a thing. But I'd like it.

[Annie Letterman]

No, I do. I love women and I love. And I love.

[John Holmberg]

Boy, it's sounds like it.

[Annie Letterman]

And I love when you come to my shows, guys.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Annie Letterman]

Your booties there.

[John Holmberg]

And they will this weekend. Annie Letterman.

[Annie Letterman]

Love you guys. So fun to see you.

[John Holmberg]

Dot com. Grab your tickets. It's always good to have you. It's 98. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.

[Dale Hellestri]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail even though he ruined it. Dale Hellestre is here and I'm still going to say from prestige billiards AZ.com.

[Dale Hellestri]

Because how did you ruin that?

[John Holmberg]

You ruined that one.

[Dale Hellestri]

You ruined a wet dream. You know what I'm saying?

[John Holmberg]

Well, I would hope so. I hope you can't finish with me in your wet dream, Dale. That's disgusting. Three time super bowl champion Dale Hellistry joins us now. It's Thursday. Last week I got a text at 8:50.

[Dale Hellestri]

Sorry Johnny, not Going to be here.

[John Holmberg]

In Mantaho like you told us on Thursday at 10 minutes to 9.

[Dale Hellestri]

You know what?

[John Holmberg]

You. You weren't coming in.

[Dale Hellestri]

You don't take this, this segment seriously. That's whatever, right?

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. This is something I should start taking seriously. I don't think so. We've got Dale here to talk sports and whatever else he is. You've heard Brady's announcement this morning. That's right. Would you like to take some jabs at him like Annie Letterman and I have been doing all night?

[Dale Hellestri]

No, that is not. That's not very friendly or something.

[John Holmberg]

Can he.

[Dale Hellestri]

Shots.

[John Holmberg]

Reach. Reach from behind. A little rabbit punch.

[Dale Hellestri]

Could we give you kidney punches and just kill it inside you?

[John Holmberg]

I don't think that's a cancer.

[Brady Bogan]

I picture it popping more than anything.

[John Holmberg]

Leave it to Dale to caveman out the can.

[Brady Bogan]

And he's.

[Annie Letterman]

He was.

[Brady Bogan]

His eyes were lighting up to be able to do that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, when I had my hip go south, I went and told the guys up at the tactical black, I'm like, kick it. Like there's no tomorrow. And normally in a leg kick, you don't want to go up as high as the. It's bad technique to, to hit a hip. You want to get mid thigh. These dudes kick the living tar out of this hip. I'm like, it's coming out anyway.

[Dale Hellestri]

Well.

[John Holmberg]

And then the doctor's like, what the hell did you do that for? It's all bruised up. I can't do the surgery. I'm like, why? And he goes, the infection risk goes through the moon. I'm like, we're good here, Johnny. He cut my scars all seed up. He had to go in under the bruise.

[Dale Hellestri]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because I just. Because I didn't. I took your advice.

[Dale Hellestri]

You're stupid.

[John Holmberg]

Kick it out. You just tried to punch cancer out of a guy.

[Dale Hellestri]

Well, that's different than a half up.

[John Holmberg]

And it's good we had your one week suspension for your Aussie commentary. Which finally comes back to. Let's get to sports now.

[Dale Hellestri]

First and foremost, real quick. I, I, I on. On my way into the number one rated sports show, Steve McColla.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, thank you.

[Dale Hellestri]

The main event. I heard you guys talking about the, the Ryan Bryan thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. How about that dude? How about that guy?

[Dale Hellestri]

Obviously my last name is mispronounced a lot.

[John Holmberg]

Helestra.

[Dale Hellestri]

Any which way. And I. That's fine.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Dale Hellestri]

Hank Bullough, the head coach of the Buffalo Bills for about half a season. The biggest knucklehead I've ever been around.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Dale Hellestri]

He Called me Helstrom.

[John Holmberg]

Hailstrom.

[Dale Hellestri]

Helstrom.

[John Holmberg]

Helstrom.

[Dale Hellestri]

Okay, I can understand a lot of mispronunciation.

[John Holmberg]

There's no M in Hailstrom, New Jersey too. Helstrom. He just wasn't. He just didn't. He didn't think you were making. To you. You were the. You were the lumbering.

[Dale Hellestri]

Outlasted him. Get your ass out.

[John Holmberg]

Where's he now?

[Dale Hellestri]

Six feet under.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you killed him. Cancer. Cancer. Brady can hear you. Cancer. Oh, my God. This is the worst. We are the worst. We are the worst friends. Yeah, Brady's tough. We are the worst friends you could ever have. And happy birthday to Brett, by the way. Brady. And Brady goes on Brett's birthday and goes. But pay attention to me. Yeah.

[Dale Hellestri]

You couldn't wait till tomorrow?

[John Holmberg]

What a cb.

[Brady Bogan]

Let him.

[John Holmberg]

Holding it all.

[Dale Hellestri]

It's unbelievable.

[John Holmberg]

He's been holding it off for months. He finally breaks it out. They'll punch him. Get that thing out of there. Cure it.

[Dale Hellestri]

How are you celebrating tonight? You doing anything?

[John Holmberg]

I don't think so. There you go.

[Dale Hellestri]

This weekend?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. We'll get together with friends this weekend.

[Dale Hellestri]

Friends that. These two.

[John Holmberg]

The rooster. Oh, he'll be with us Saturday night. Oh, yeah. Saturday. That too. The band's plan. My birthday, his birthday. Brady's final cancer performance is gonna last days with the kidney. It'll be the last performance that you have with that kidney in your body.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then Toledo will be there. So. Your birthday's July 11th. You should come by.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Celebrate the rooster Worth. The roosters In Scottsdale. On Scottsdale Road. Nakoma? Thereabouts. Like, not far from you. Not far from you. Come on. Come on down, Dale. Have a good time.

[Dale Hellestri]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Watch the band play the songs from.

[Dale Hellestri]

So what do you play?

[John Holmberg]

What did I sing? Like an angel. Dale. And. And we will be singing songs from movies soundtracks.

[Dale Hellestri]

So, like, not. Not Ozzy Osborne.

[John Holmberg]

Not Ozzy this time. No. Ozzy's not gonna make it in this time. But we have, you know, like Kenny Loggins.

[Brady Bogan]

Could have been.

[John Holmberg]

We could. We've got a couple options for Ozzy. He's in there. We skipped it. But we've got songs that you know from movies.

[Dale Hellestri]

How many people are in your band?

[John Holmberg]

4.

[Dale Hellestri]

So you're the lead singer?

[John Holmberg]

I am the. Yes.

[Dale Hellestri]

Do you play an instrument?

[John Holmberg]

Like, no, I don't. I. This is my instrument. This is my gift. Yeah.

[Dale Hellestri]

Okay. Could use that. So many ways.

[John Holmberg]

You just asked. My throat is my gift, though, and I give it to you Saturday night at nine, if you're interested. Yeah, it's good stuff.

[Dale Hellestri]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

What do you think of the dildos thrown onto the courts? What's the worst thing anyone's ever thrown at you on a football field? Philadelphia had to throw stuff at you.

[Dale Hellestri]

They threw batteries. We had to keep batteries. We had to keep our helmets on the entire freaking game when we were in Philadelphia.

[John Holmberg]

Because they would hit you.

[Dale Hellestri]

Because they would just chuck batteries at the sidelines. Double A, triple A, whatever.

[John Holmberg]

The big.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah, the Ds, you know, and God forbid it comes from the second pack and you get hit in the back of the head.

[John Holmberg]

What about coaches and stuff?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, the guys in the stands.

[Dale Hellestri]

You usually had players standing around the coaches.

[John Holmberg]

Did you ever get hit with one?

[Dale Hellestri]

Never got hit.

[John Holmberg]

They never aimed it at you? Michael Irvin. Who, who Big got hit?

[Dale Hellestri]

Nobody. I don't know if anybody actually got hit, but you'd see him bounce and go wherever.

[John Holmberg]

And what would you rather get hit with, a battery or dildo?

[Dale Hellestri]

Dildo.

[John Holmberg]

That's all I wanted. Well, let's play. What would you rather with blank or a dildo? With Dale? Yeah, because the dildo is hilarious. Yes, the battery is scary, but if a dildo came flopping down and hit Emmett Smith, you guys would laugh for hours.

[Dale Hellestri]

I, I have not seen the actual dildo. Are they the, Are they three of them? Are they soft or they hard?

[John Holmberg]

Well, they're, they're getting there.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She, she's got a little work to do, but we can, we can make this go okay. But they're, they're rubber.

[Dale Hellestri]

I'm, I, I, I heard a little bit. Don't throw them at the player.

[John Holmberg]

You want to throw something on the.

[Dale Hellestri]

Other side of the court, that's fine.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's not fine, but if you're going to do it, that's the way you do it. We're not condoning it, but it is hilarious.

[Dale Hellestri]

You kind of are condoning it.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I'll give $10,000. First person that sticks one and lands it, and the guy has to pull it off the court.

[Dale Hellestri]

There's a suction cup on there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What you're designed to do with these Dales is stick them to a wall in the shell, one up for them so you can see, and then you back up into it.

[Dale Hellestri]

Oh, is that what you do?

[John Holmberg]

I would do that. That sounds fine. But most of the time it's the ladies or, you know, lonely people. Okay, lonely folks. Or pervert.

[Dale Hellestri]

And didn't our girl get hit with one?

[John Holmberg]

Sophie got bounced into her leg. Yeah. And she had the time of her life. Laughing it off.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She's got a good sense of humor. These other girls are losing her now.

[Dale Hellestri]

These aren't used dildos.

[John Holmberg]

How they get them in there? Unknown. How do you get them in there? How do you get them. Them in there? Because they just ban bags.

[Brady Bogan]

They put gloves on when they remove it.

[John Holmberg]

There's different places to hide them. There you go. That's what it looks like, Dale. That's. There's a suction cup. Put that up against the wall or on the floor or whatever. That way it doesn't scoot around.

[Brady Bogan]

Window of the oven.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the window. Yeah. A good woman will do it.

[Brady Bogan]

Dishwasher.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Brady's got to have something visual. So a casserole or something makes it so he wants to get banged in the.

[Dale Hellestri]

Make sure that casserole doesn't get burned.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The door of the oven.

[Brady Bogan]

I left the stuff station one on the side of my door.

[John Holmberg]

We stuck a two and a half foot black dildo on the side of his car and I moved the passenger side mirror to where he couldn't see. If he looked over, it was just the mirrors in a bad spot. It was dangling off the side of the car. Well, we'd assumed that he'd either fix the mirror or notice something. This thing was huge. And we watched him pull out of the parking lot with this giant. It had to be. It had to be five pounds. And he was about to hit the freeway. So I called him, like, hey, hey, hey, hey. If this thing falls off, it could kill somebody. Be careful. And all you hear is go anywhere.

[Brady Bogan]

You got shack.

[John Holmberg]

He pulls over now. Real nice. You slap jags. And the worst thing he could come up with was slap js. And it was hilarious. Yeah. So I, you know, and that would be one. I'd like to never meet the girl that wants that.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah. Who goes in and buys that?

[John Holmberg]

Lunatics. Yeah. Yeah. Or.

[Dale Hellestri]

Or maybe they just hang in their trophy room.

[John Holmberg]

Super tall.

[Brady Bogan]

We've seen videos.

[John Holmberg]

Well, we've seen people do it, but yeah, like a super tall gay would do it. I could have be like shack size. A homosexual. That's about seven, four.

[Dale Hellestri]

I don't care how big. Isn't. Isn't it. Isn't everybody about the same size back.

[John Holmberg]

There in the ass?

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I can't imagine that's true.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah, the whole.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta think Brady's is much more damaged than mine with all the food he's piling in there and the work it's gotta do. That thing's gotta have an escape. I don't know, Gene, You're.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You hemorrhoid it up.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You hemorrhoided up. It's not your escape hatch. Hasn't seen the side. Like, stuff tumbles out of it. I hate.

[Dale Hellestri]

The way you clean yours eight times a day. It's overused.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not. It's like a classic car. No, it's like a GTO in the garage.

[Dale Hellestri]

It's spotless, but wasn't taken care of.

[John Holmberg]

Degreased. It's got. No. Occasionally, you'll see a little dot. You gotta get rid of that. Scooch that out. Brady's just like, Katie, bar the door. It's like somebody opened up a. You know, when the bowling ball thing goes, just. Yeah. A lot of stuff can tumble out of him. Yeah, but you, too.

[Dale Hellestri]

But. But you start at the same. Yeah. Almost have the same size. I can't imagine that. Oh, you're seven foot tall. So your. Your butthole's eight inches wide.

[Brady Bogan]

I want to hear from a proctologist.

[John Holmberg]

I'm pretty sure. Sure.

[Dale Hellestri]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Smaller people have smaller buttons. No. Yeah.

[Dale Hellestri]

Johnny, you need to do your study.

[John Holmberg]

Remember in Planes, Trains and Automobiles when John Candy said, we're not getting out of here. This thing's tighter than Tom Thumb's butthole because he's a tiny man and it made sense to all of us. Nobody ever questioned that.

[Dale Hellestri]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

I'm right.

[Dale Hellestri]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

That's the argument I would like to.

[Dale Hellestri]

Hear from a proctologist.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You two have fun today. Your search sounds like a great.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm calling one right now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Brady knows a couple ducks doctors. He's got it when you talk. Yeah. Proctologist I don't want to ever hear from. I'm never going to one.

[Dale Hellestri]

You're not?

[John Holmberg]

No. There's no need for that.

[Dale Hellestri]

Why?

[John Holmberg]

Because all they do is find stuff wrong.

[Dale Hellestri]

That is the thing with doctors.

[John Holmberg]

You never go to a proctologist because everything's going great. And then they're like, we need to see you again. I'm like, no, this date is over. Like, we're not doing this every Tuesday. I found something. Of course you did.

[Dale Hellestri]

Well, you had a bad experience as a young man. You need to wipe that out of your mouth.

[John Holmberg]

Honestly, it was a great experience.

[Dale Hellestri]

A.

[John Holmberg]

It's a. Johnny dude went in there and made me.

[Dale Hellestri]

It's gross.

[John Holmberg]

It was awesome. I loved every second no control. But the more I think about that, the more that was a Ohio State situation. That was a rape. That dude did not need to check my butt at 23. At all. And he did.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, he did.

[John Holmberg]

Well, evidently. And it worked because I was like, oh. Oh, I love you. And then we wiped the table off, and he said I had a urinary tract infection. I'm like, how did you. Wasn't for a lack of looking. We found it. That's for sure. We.

[Dale Hellestri]

Did he say anything?

[John Holmberg]

A couple of times. It. He was so deep in me, he goes, I think your friend Brady's got cancer.

[Annie Letterman]

He.

[Brady Bogan]

He couldn't hear anything. He was too busy smoking a cigarette.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

A good checkout.

[John Holmberg]

You're all done here, angel. That's how it ended.

[Dale Hellestri]

That's got to be so embarrassing.

[John Holmberg]

No, I loved it.

[Dale Hellestri]

I mean, it's like, guys. They go get massages and. And that's.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Dale Hellestri]

That's got to be embarrassing. Embarrassing, sure. You know?

[John Holmberg]

For who?

[Dale Hellestri]

For the guy.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I suppose. I think it's a compliment to the massage therapist.

[Brady Bogan]

Crying.

[John Holmberg]

If she's. Yeah, yeah. I mean, this crying.

[Dale Hellestri]

Did you have tears?

[John Holmberg]

Probably. I probably had one of those, like. Not crying, but my eyes were really watery tears.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not crying.

[John Holmberg]

You're crying. I told you that. First time a girl ever decided to start kissing that area on me, I started to cry. Well, she pushed my legs up to my. My. My knees. Up to my shoulder. Shoulders.

[Dale Hellestri]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

And then worked her way down into that spot. And I didn't like it. That was. Look, I didn't know it was going to happen. I was spotless. Just in case, though, because rumor has it, she was into it.

[Dale Hellestri]

Really.

[John Holmberg]

And so she pushed. She took her hands in the backs of my thighs and pushed them up. And I'm like. And then she goes. And I was like, oh. And then I felt a tear go down my cheek, and I said, we need to stop.

[Dale Hellestri]

I don't.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think I like this. And I think it had more to do with the position.

[Dale Hellestri]

That.

[Brady Bogan]

Littering.

[John Holmberg]

Correct.

[Brady Bogan]

Commercial.

[John Holmberg]

It was. It was Iron Ice Cody. It was Iron Ass Cody. It just rolled down my cheek, and I almost started laughing, but it was so sad at the same time. And I just wanted my legs back into a normal spot. I was all balled up, and I was under her control. It's a rape. It was a rape.

[Brady Bogan]

Another one.

[John Holmberg]

That was right around the same time. Holmberg's morning sickness. I had a tough time. 1992 was hard.

[Dale Hellestri]

No wonder why you've turned out the way you turned out. What do you mean?

[John Holmberg]

Perfect.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Ridiculous. Suppressed. I talk about it all the time, but it was a weird one. That doctor, he did that pipe cleaner thing in my urethra and pulled some. Weird again.

[Brady Bogan]

Another procedure didn't need to be done.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that was the one where he got the culture and found everything. He was.

[Brady Bogan]

He's giving you pain. I'm mad.

[John Holmberg]

He hated me. Like, you know when you go to a doctor and you're like, this dude doesn't like me immediately. And you know, he told me I had a wide urethra and that was. And he goes, but it doesn't mean you have a big penis. And I was like, oh, Jesus. He's mad at me for everything because that pipe throat. And then he told me that the reason I had. What I had was the girl that was drinking giving me the oral. The alcohol got in there because my urethra is. It's like Brady's butthole. It's huge.

[Dale Hellestri]

I was going to say, I've always heard that buttholes are in direct correlation to the.

[John Holmberg]

Could be. Yeah. Massive.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But super attractive is what he said also. I forgot that part. But yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

So he went home and his mom's like, where'd you get the black eye?

[John Holmberg]

For sports sake? Yes, you are for or against flying Deltos at sporting?

[Dale Hellestri]

I think it's kind of silly. It is.

[John Holmberg]

But it's also very funny. Where do we draw the line at throwing dildos? Okay, that's a pretty good response. Pretty good answer. But how many more until we are tired of it, though.

[Dale Hellestri]

I get it seven more times again, I don't know. It never ended in Philadelphia.

[John Holmberg]

They still chuck.

[Dale Hellestri]

I know. I, I, it's kind of like here at the Cardinals. But once they moved to the new stadium.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestri]

I think they flushed out some of the.

[John Holmberg]

Got rid of the riff raff. Yeah.

[Dale Hellestri]

Because the ticket prices go up.

[John Holmberg]

The, the funny thing is, is like, like you'd have like the Bills had dildos thrown at them in that game. Remember that? Oh, yeah. That was during a. I don't know if it was a playoff game.

[Brady Bogan]

It was one that, well, they chucked.

[John Holmberg]

One on the corner. That's a dildo that's getting thrown. So they threw a dildo into the end zone and everybody in the crowds laugh and the ref kicks it over and you never really heard anything about it. More of an Internet thing. Throw it at these ladies. The next thing you know, like, you're going to kill someone. It's like, come on.

[Dale Hellestri]

Well, come on. Dildo at a football player with helmet shoulder pads.

[John Holmberg]

The referees got. They threw it at them. They deserve it.

[Dale Hellestri]

The girls.

[John Holmberg]

No, the refs. Is that what you're saying?

[Dale Hellestri]

Well, I did an Arizona Rattler game on Monday that. Yeah. The refs could have had a couple dildos.

[John Holmberg]

Can you do that? As a guy who calls the Rattler games, Where's the dildos?

[Dale Hellestri]

That would be great.

[John Holmberg]

Get a dildo on that. Like, go.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah, let's rain down dildos.

[John Holmberg]

Rain down Dildos is a great album. Yeah. I just, I, I, Yeah. I struggle with the idea that it isn't funny. It shouldn't happen, but because it is. Again, like at Brady's funeral coming up, if we're throwing dildos around, everything just gets lighter. The mood gets light. Told Annie Letterman in the hallway, if.

[Brady Bogan]

The two lighten the mood.

[John Holmberg]

If the two of us were at 911 and the second plane went right over our heads, hits the building, we start running and she just takes a dildo and throw. Throws it. We'd both go, what'd you do that for? We'd start laughing in 911 if a dildo was flying. Because you can't help but laugh at a flying dildo no matter what the circle.

[Dale Hellestri]

Now you say you don't go to funerals.

[John Holmberg]

No, I go to funerals. I don't go to weddings. Same thing.

[Dale Hellestri]

Whatever.

[John Holmberg]

I've been to plenty of weddings. They're all dumb. Not the end result.

[Dale Hellestri]

Two people madly in love start a new life.

[John Holmberg]

It looks just like the last one I was at. Let's stop celebrating these things.

[Dale Hellestri]

But the funerals are different. Doesn't look.

[John Holmberg]

No, you're paying respect to. It's the only time I'm. Nobody's going to fool me.

[Dale Hellestri]

Go.

[John Holmberg]

Getting married again. I'm having another funeral. No, you get one, you're done. And you know, there is the train of thought that sometimes. I'm not going to go to your funeral because you're not going to mine. Right.

[Dale Hellestri]

What I was going to ask is, would you be so crass as to take El Dale row and stick it on top of. Because they're going to be a close.

[John Holmberg]

On top of Brady. You think they'll close it for Brady?

[Dale Hellestri]

Oh, yeah. I mean, you don't want to look at that.

[Brady Bogan]

There's going to be no cash.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they might have a cat casket, like a. I don't think they. Yeah, just stick it.

[Dale Hellestri]

Stick a dildo on top of the.

[John Holmberg]

Earth or just have it as a dildo. Urn, just pour them into the.

[Brady Bogan]

Stick it to the. Usually I put the easel up with the big picture.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, I could put that right on his forehead.

[Dale Hellestri]

That's a good idea. I have two bats with two different gentlemen about who's going to die first. It's 100 bet. And. And the way that we both. We've all decided to do it is that I'm going to write a chance check and it's going to be stuck to the inside of my casket. I want to see number one. If you have the gall to.

[John Holmberg]

To do it. Yeah.

[Dale Hellestri]

Undo it. And then do you have the gall to go cash the check?

[John Holmberg]

I would do that. I would.

[Dale Hellestri]

You would?

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely. You.

[Dale Hellestri]

You have no feelings.

[John Holmberg]

What are you talking about? You're the one putting money in the casket. What a prick. You build up cash casket. I'm going to pull the money out. Absolutely dumb. Who would not like.

[Dale Hellestri]

And cash the check.

[John Holmberg]

Would you write Pay to the order of.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So then it's names on. He's like. He wrote this for me. He owed me this money.

[Brady Bogan]

But I don't think you could.

[Dale Hellestri]

But he. But he. But he said he's dead. But he.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean?

[Brady Bogan]

If it's his checking account. If it's just. You know.

[John Holmberg]

Now he really is a prick. Yeah. That's a prick move.

[Brady Bogan]

They freeze the account.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah, but.

[John Holmberg]

I know. But go cash.

[Dale Hellestri]

But my buddy. That's what he's gonna do. He's gonna put $100 bill. I said, well, that's easy. Just pull it off, put in your wallet, and nobody's the wiser.

[John Holmberg]

Cash a dead man's check. I would do that.

[Dale Hellestri]

That kind of tells a lot about YouTube.

[John Holmberg]

No, it tells a lot about all of us that you make. No, you don't. He makes these bets with people and then acts like he's morally above who's worse. You're the one making the bet. You're the. That's taping money to the inside of your casket. You're calling point. And I'm the immoral jerk for saying we had a. A deal. Yeah. I would make you look. I would make you look like an angel. Like, Dale is so funny. His la. He owed me 100 bucks and he.

[Brady Bogan]

I'd frame the check.

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't. I'd cash that cash in the heartbeat right as I'm asking his wife to dinner. Wow, man.

[Dale Hellestri]

We said that's off limits.

[John Holmberg]

Dinner's on Dale. You said that? Yeah. Hey, look, he wanted us to go to dinner together. He wouldn't have left us this money. Baby, step over that casket and come sit next to me. Yep, that's right. So.

[Dale Hellestri]

All right, let's get to Sports now.

[John Holmberg]

We already did all that. D hell is here. Anything in sports you want to talk? Football's coming up.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

We're getting close.

[Dale Hellestri]

I'm excited. I've seen some Aaron Rodgers interviews.

[John Holmberg]

Very excited.

[Dale Hellestri]

He seems rejuvenated, somewhat normal.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's. Well, he's under the guise he's got a couple coach that actually is in control and I think that's what Aaron needs.

[Dale Hellestri]

And he, he wants to meet Terry Bradshaw. He wants to.

[John Holmberg]

He wants to be. He's embracing the culture. Yeah. It's been great. And you know who? I think after watching a couple weeks of this, I'm going to go out and say it. I think this Cardinal team wins the division. I. I honestly think they have made so many good moves and Jonathan Gannon and, and, and Monty have put together a team. The more I'm looking, the more they are silently just really good.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah, they're. They're kind of being ignored.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. And that division wasn't great.

[Dale Hellestri]

No. You never know what San Francisco. They stay healthy and all that.

[John Holmberg]

Seattle's a huge question mark.

[Dale Hellestri]

The Rams, they always seem to be pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

Rams showed up a year or two early like they were rebuilding and ended up a playoff team. Almost beat the Eagles last year. They beat the Vikings here. But the Rams and Cardinals, I think I honestly, I'll go. I'll say it right here. August 7, 2025. I think the Cardinals are going to win the West.

[Dale Hellestri]

Here's the thing that scares me to death. And I was talking about it on our show earlier. Earlier today. As a longtime Valley sports fan.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestri]

Born and raised here. 7 years, 8 years old when the Suns came. And then obviously I got to the Cardinals and then got the Coyotes and Diamonds. I've always been a local fan. Except for the Cardinals. Really.

[John Holmberg]

All right. So not so much. But.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah, but we can't have good things here in the Valley. Think about, just think about this year. Suns going into the season garbage. Supposedly at least going to be a 3, 4 seed. Not maybe win a championship, but 50 wins. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestri]

Gone. 36 Diamondbacks spent the most money they've. They've ever spent on a team. They. They signed that Corbin Burns who's a stud of a pitcher. Blah, blah, blah. Boom. They. They implode.

[John Holmberg]

Snake bit.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Different on that than the. Than the Suns. The Suns were disappointment. The Diamondbacks just had. They had to have a perfect season to compete in that division and they lost their ace. They had guys get hurt. But I think they did the right thing trading everybody way And I liked your plan to get rid of Catal Marte, too. And they didn't do that.

[Dale Hellestri]

They did not.

[John Holmberg]

But Naylor and Suarez and letting the people go that Merrill Kelly got traded, like they let the right people go.

[Dale Hellestri]

Right. And now we're looking at football, and we have ASU coming off a magical season.

[John Holmberg]

I don't see that going.

[Dale Hellestri]

Name the last time ASU had back to back back. Really good season.

[John Holmberg]

Doesn't happen.

[Dale Hellestri]

It's once a decade.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestri]

So in my. In my gut, I feel, yes, they have. They have 17 starters returning. They got their quarterback going back. They should have a really good season.

[John Holmberg]

You don't see ASU doing it, but.

[Dale Hellestri]

History tells me I've seen it too often. And now you look at the Cardinals. Yes, I'm quietly optimistic about them. They got some depth. I think Kyler Murray's grown into that position.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I mean, mentally. Mentally. Mentally, he's 30.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah, but. Yeah, but he's seven, eight years in the league now. I think he's changed.

[John Holmberg]

Gannon.

[Dale Hellestri]

I love Gannon. Like Austin Ford, the general manager.

[John Holmberg]

Great setup right now.

[Dale Hellestri]

Because what they do is they. They are getting guys who like to play football.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestri]

Not the, hey, that guy's super talented. We'll work with him. He's.

[John Holmberg]

And they're putting people where they deserve. Deserve to be. They're not getting some super athlete and going, all right, you're our jack of all trades. Running them as safety and linebacker and defensive end and having one guy be great for everything. Buddha Baker plays a position, you know, like the guys that they've had, they're like, Gannon has been the guy that said, here's a dude who plays this spot, and if he fits it, we're going to make it great. What are you good at? Let's do that. Rather than trying to make him everything.

[Dale Hellestri]

They have tough guys.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're good.

[Dale Hellestri]

I think their offensive line, it was better last. Last year than people gave her credit for. I think it'll be better this year. And I'm excited to see Marvin Harrison. I.

[John Holmberg]

The dude say flowers.

[Dale Hellestri]

I mean, Marvin Harrison. It's almost like I'm looking in a.

[John Holmberg]

Mirror, you know, It's a very dark room.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah. He put on, what, £10, but it's.

[John Holmberg]

It's freaking muscle, just like you. And the receivers are good. Their tight ends are great. And the running game.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah. But still, you got the guy.

[John Holmberg]

Connor.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah, Connor's. I would say he's a top 10.

[John Holmberg]

Running back, like, eighth or ninth year now, at least.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Start getting into that and start seeing the, the dings and the knocks on him are going to be ankles and knees. That'll slow him down a little. Still a quality team. I think they're a 10 win team. I think they're, I think they're going to win 10 and get that.

[Dale Hellestri]

And I'm not, and I'm not going to argue with you, with you on that.

[Brady Bogan]

How about the, I've heard that a lot. Steelers are over the years with the Cardinals, so.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, I've heard it but this year it actually, like this year they've actually done, done something. They've actually done some things to go, whoa. This is, this is the smart moves, like what Dale's saying. Smart teams get offensive linemen, they get free agents that don't splash but make you better.

[Dale Hellestri]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

They don't go out and grab Micah Parsons for no reason. If they make that trade, they're idiots. I mean, he's a great player, but you're giving up way too much and you were on the right track. They're not that close, but they're close. Yeah, I think they're a 10 win team and I think this is, I think that's, that they're, that's where they fit. It's not overachieving or underachieving to get there.

[Dale Hellestri]

Last year, defensively, they played hard, but they brought in more talent.

[John Holmberg]

They're good, that team. I think they win that and I think the Steelers are a 10 win team. Not a threat for the super bowl. They'll win 10 games. You just got enough talent again. Injuries can change everything if Aaron Rodgers.

[Dale Hellestri]

Stays healthy the entire year. I, I, I think the Steelers might surprise a lot of people.

[John Holmberg]

I think they could be a huge surprise. It all depends on eight. That's it. But that's true of eight. Number eight. He's wearing eight.

[Dale Hellestri]

All the rest of Tyrod Taylor.

[John Holmberg]

No, thank God he's over the Jets. We can keep him there.

[Dale Hellestri]

Kenny Pickett coming back.

[John Holmberg]

Kenny Pickett is going to get cut and the Browns have five quarterbacks. This is the best thing ever anyway, Dale, don't get me started. Football's right around the corner. This is the reason I like Dale all the other weeks of the year. Good Christ. It's a, it's pulling teeth.

[Dale Hellestri]

So, I mean, hey, I put Annie Leisherman here.

[John Holmberg]

Letterman, come on. She's great.

[Dale Hellestri]

I put her to shame.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestri]

I should be at the Improv tonight.

[John Holmberg]

Football ended in February and it's no coincidence that your visits since then have given Brady Cancer. We gotta get back to football. Let's take a break. We'll do the entertainment drill. Dale joins Brady. More of an audition than you think. It's coming up next. It's 98.

[Brady Bogan]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.

[Dale Hellestri]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. All right, Dale Hellistry. Three time world champion Dale Hellray is here today. Well, that's. Doesn't that sound good? I do like saying that. I gotta be honest with you. That's. I would.

[Dale Hellestri]

Well, you got to see the trophy from the one we got.

[John Holmberg]

So much smaller than I thought. I was actually disappointed.

[Dale Hellestri]

You were not.

[John Holmberg]

I was. I.

[Dale Hellestri]

You were polishing that like it's your finest jewelry.

[John Holmberg]

I was spitting on it. Johnny there was like, the real Lombardi I've seen.

[Dale Hellestri]

It's not that much bigger than that.

[John Holmberg]

It's a lot bigger than that. Little. You could wear that around your neck. It's like one of Brett's Italian horns.

[Dale Hellestri]

You partially tore your bicep.

[John Holmberg]

You throw that dildo. By the way, before we move on, somebody said, does Dale understand how science works? And I think we all know the answer that question, but he said. So you're saying, Dale, that a Chihuahua has the same size butthole as a Weimaraner?

[Dale Hellestri]

No, I'm saying that Holberg has the same size butthole as Brady.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Why? Maybe we're close enough.

[Brady Bogan]

Based upon size.

[John Holmberg]

Like a little person and Shaquille o'. Neal. Yeah, mine would just be bigger.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe a little bit bigger.

[John Holmberg]

Do your neighbors have the same size as you? Good lord, no. Oh, the damage. Oh, the whole horror.

[Dale Hellestri]

Let's line them up and just measure.

[John Holmberg]

I already know for sure that there's a different thing going on there, but, yeah, tiny people have. Probably smell like. He's right. A Chihuahua's butthole and a Weimer. They're both dogs.

[Dale Hellestri]

I don't know what a weimer is.

[John Holmberg]

A weimer on her, it's a. Like a. Like a Doberman.

[Dale Hellestri]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Their poops are different. A woman's butthole is not the same as a man's butthole, is it? Well, maybe my neighbors. It's true, though.

[Dale Hellestri]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Am I wrong? I don't.

[Dale Hellestri]

I don't think it was. Well, we got. We have an expert.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Hey, Nash, come on in here. Tell us about your butthole expertise. Better not ever. Sit down. He's a company man. Yeah. So. No, Dale doesn't understand how science?

[Dale Hellestri]

I don't know. Science.

[John Holmberg]

Before we get to the entertainment drill, gotta say thank you to Ron Riddle of Eco Pan. He just emailed me as well. He said, got three more pallets dropped off in the front of your place. Let's get to that. Million. Thanks for being awesome. Well, thank you, Ron, for being awesome. That's pretty amazing. Dropped off three more. You got a good truckload today out there. Yeah. Nice little group.

[Dale Hellestri]

How close are we?

[John Holmberg]

Very, like, after today, I would guess we're probably at about969. I don't know how the math works. On what three pallets plus this few thousand more. So we'll be probably at 950 or 960 going in. Million was the goal. Thought we hit it last week, but then I overestimated. How much is it? Do it next week.

[Dale Hellestri]

Okay. So I. I guess I shouldn't take some out.

[John Holmberg]

Stop taking the waters now. We'd have been there already if it wasn't for timing. Over here. Jackass walks out with a case. Nobody's donating to you.

[Dale Hellestri]

They're sitting here.

[John Holmberg]

I thought that's. They're not just sitting. There's. They have a destination. And it isn't your house anyway. Ron Riddle will guarantee that Dale doesn't steal any of your water either. Jackass. It's time now for the entertainment drill.

[Dale Hellestri]

Were you gonna ask me about the Cowboys? Are we just gonna blow that up?

[John Holmberg]

We talked about it off there. Nobody cares about that. We. It's like the wnba.

[Dale Hellestri]

Everybody cares.

[John Holmberg]

What do you care about the Cowboys?

[Dale Hellestri]

I really don't. I. I don't cheer for him.

[John Holmberg]

What do you think of Shador Sanders up there in Cleveland?

[Dale Hellestri]

He's killing it, isn't he? Yeah, well, he's starting this week.

[John Holmberg]

He has to. Flacco is playing. Kenny Pickett's hurt. They said Dylan Gabriel's the worst quarterback they've ever seen in a camp. They brought in another guy, Tyler Huntley.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And they're like, all right, let's get him up to speed. Snoop. That's right. Snoop. And Snoop's going to be there, too. It's going to be Flacco. Snoop, probably.

[Brady Bogan]

Snoop's going to fit in Sudor and.

[John Holmberg]

Whatever, and they're going to jettison Kenny. I mean, Kenny, hilarious, tiny hand.

[Dale Hellestri]

No, but the Parsons, real quick. The one thing that I agree with Jerry is that we don't know what to offer. Offer is.

[John Holmberg]

Keep in mind no one asked Dale a question.

[Dale Hellestri]

We don't know what the offer is.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestri]

Is it fair? We don't know. Does he want to be paid one more dollar than TJ Watt?

[John Holmberg]

He said no one's contacted his agent.

[Dale Hellestri]

But they haven't even shown it with Mike and Jerry. I'm just saying, were the numbers fair or. It's just that it's. It is.

[John Holmberg]

It's just dumb. If he's playing a game to get attention, he's. It's costing him a guy against the cap $5 million that he didn't have to spend.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah, but he's getting all this air time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but still. Oh, that's true. He's there. So the team gets the attention. Yeah, he's. Something's wrong with Jerry. And you're in, though. You're in Al Davis mode with.

[Dale Hellestri]

Hey, the further they get away from the 90s, the better we become.

[John Holmberg]

The better your 90s team.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. All right, that's enough. There you go. I wish you were on that Bills team. They were chucking dildos. It's time for the entertainment drill is brought to you by our friends [e-mail] the host home of tactical black self defense training. Get on board. Hop on there and start making yourself a little bit stronger, a little bit smarter. Get your awareness up. Start becoming a sheepdog and stop being a sheep. The key to self defense is knowing what's around you at all times and having escape plans or having plans of what's going to happen if you can't escape. And that's what they teach up there. You'll get in good shape. Cardio is amazing. And you'll learn a lot about yourself, too. Price is ridiculous. 2 months, 199 bucks for person personal training. That happens nowhere else. And the training you get also happens nowhere else. It's the best in the world. It's reactdefense.com the Home Tactical Black Brady Entertain me.

[Brady Bogan]

Ed Sheeran says there are many professional singers who lip sync but would never admit it. He's like, he could never get away with it because it's just him and a loop pedal and a guitar.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Plus he's kind of not really forcing out upon. He doesn't sing so hard. It's going to hurt him. It would be dumb to lip sync yourself.

[Brady Bogan]

Someone did a list of songs that rock bands have performed over their touring time over the years. How many times have they played this song?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Like Aerosmith and Dream on Aerosmith.

[Brady Bogan]

They did walk this way.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

1761 times.

[John Holmberg]

That's low. I'd have figured it was a lot.

[Brady Bogan]

More than that TNT AC DC 1588 times.

[John Holmberg]

That's also the.

[Brady Bogan]

The highest one on the list of the tenant I have is schools out Alice Cooper 3,090 times.

[John Holmberg]

Yuck. And 3,089 of them nobody wanted to hear it.

[Dale Hellestri]

Now, why can you say that and you don't get any pushback? Alice Cooper is a rock and roll hero. The legend.

[John Holmberg]

All right. There we go. All right.

[Dale Hellestri]

You guys don't know music.

[John Holmberg]

See, I'll just let it rest right there.

[Brady Bogan]

Speaking of, Dale has a great story.

[John Holmberg]

Go ahead, Dale, tell your story.

[Dale Hellestri]

Still don't get it. Still don't get it.

[John Holmberg]

You talking about math?

[Dale Hellestri]

The flowers from Ozzy's memorial will be turned into mulch. It may seem like a pointless gesture to leave flowers at a public memorial for celebrity, but not for that dear, sweet Ozzy Osbourne. According to report, the flowers left for Ozzy at a makeshift memorial in Birmingham, in England, will be mulched and scattered by his private grave.

[John Holmberg]

That's nice.

[Dale Hellestri]

He's buried at his estate in Buckinghamshire. He was laid to rest last week.

[John Holmberg]

Can you do an English accent?

[Dale Hellestri]

Dale, why would you want to be buried? Or why, as a family, would you want a quote, unquote loved one buried in your yard? That's weird.

[John Holmberg]

Like your yard.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, he's got some acres, but, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He'S got some space. And in England, it's different. Like, you just used to stuff people in the. Like you were part of the. The plot of land. It's all yours. So it kind of makes sense. This was.

[Dale Hellestri]

The dedicated team is supposedly working around the clock to sort and process the thousands of items left by fans.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's nice.

[Dale Hellestri]

And the thousands of notes and memorabilia left behind will be preserved and cataloged. How many?

[John Holmberg]

You think you're just jealous? No, I mean, I'm sure I'll have.

[Dale Hellestri]

A bunch of flowers.

[John Holmberg]

No, they're gonna have to mulch all the dildos to get thrown at your casket. Do you want a big funeral?

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah, I want everybody there. I want everybody to cry, and then I want everybody to have fun.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, well, I hate to break it to you. It's not gonna be big.

[Dale Hellestri]

You'll be there.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not going.

[Dale Hellestri]

Are you going before me?

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm probably not gonna go to your funeral. Seems it's probably hot out.

[Brady Bogan]

Dale's tombstone will have cool. Two little metal towers with electric going across.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, and then it says Dale Hellray. It was alive. Frank and Dale. You do want a big funeral, though. For real. Do you want to get buried or Cremated.

[Dale Hellestri]

Cremated, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's the way to go. Where do I get to scatter you? I'll scatter you. Where do I get to throw you?

[Dale Hellestri]

Pelvic Beach.

[John Holmberg]

You want on the course or on the beach?

[Dale Hellestri]

No, on. On the court.

[John Holmberg]

I think that's illegal. I don't think they.

[Brady Bogan]

In the bathroom.

[Dale Hellestri]

Really? You can't. You can't. You can't. You can't put it in your golf bag and on the 18th holes you're playing.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not going to carry you around in my pocket in the sand.

[Brady Bogan]

In the sand trap. That'll be easy.

[John Holmberg]

You know what?

[Brady Bogan]

We'll fill our divots with the air.

[John Holmberg]

That's not a bad idea. Yeah, I. That's a good idea.

[Dale Hellestri]

You guys don't make divots.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, this critique we'll do. We'll get chunky that day. By the way, Brady, let's don't make plans that you're going to be on this trip. It's just in case I don't want to. I don't want to be disappointed.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm calling my shot.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna have so much sand in my pockets walking around with you two in each side. Brady's on the right.

[Dale Hellestri]

That's the other guy. I have a hundred dollar bet with.

[John Holmberg]

Nash is one. You have one. And he's.

[Dale Hellestri]

Look at him. I got him beat by a mile.

[John Holmberg]

Nash will outlive you.

[Dale Hellestri]

No, he won't.

[John Holmberg]

Unless he falls off a ladder or something. Nash will outlive you.

[Dale Hellestri]

Hypertension. Look at his.

[John Holmberg]

He does. He is kind of bright, right? Yeah, he's got a little bit of a Flintstone thing going.

[Dale Hellestri]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus. Is a tight battle between the three of you. I'm not taking any of these fans handles. Brett, you win.

[Brady Bogan]

Happy birthday, Brett.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks, Brady.

[Dale Hellestri]

Oh, right as we're leaving.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. 10th caller, 585-9800 is going to get the Pantera tickets that we talked about earlier. Oh, that's good stuff. CB Brady and his cancer now with this. Yeah, I know. Nobody cares anymore about your cancer. They got personal things to deal with now. There you go.

[Brady Bogan]

If you call us out, bigger prizes.

[John Holmberg]

Brett will get you in there, you get yourself the Pantera tics and then a chance to be a Pantera security and walk him on stage coming up here in a couple of weeks and then hang out in the photography pit and watch the show. That's amazing stuff. We're handed away right now. 5859, 800. They'll work if Dale keeps talking crazy about Ozzy. He's going to need a funeral a lot sooner than he thinks. Yeah, Dave's going to win that bet real fast. That's it. Anything going on for you Dale, this weekend?

[Dale Hellestri]

Got nothing going on. A little golf.

[John Holmberg]

All right. There you go. Brady. No going over. You going over? Just going to Roosters Rooster Saturday and we'll talk about that tomorrow. I'm just seeing if you guys anything today.

[Dale Hellestri]

What time is that?

[John Holmberg]

It's at nine.

[Dale Hellestri]

That's late.

[John Holmberg]

You should take a nap in the middle of the day. Pop over. I think K's going to try to go. Yeah, go with Kevin. Brady.

[Dale Hellestri]

Go back from Italy.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. He was. He texted me from Italy. I don't know when he's there and when he's not. I know he'll be back soon. That's it for us. We're done. Larry's coming up next. You guys have yourselves a fantastic Thursday. We'll see you tomorrow in the morning. Sickness all along. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.