08-08-25 - Carlos Mencia - Tempe Improv - In Studio

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (August 8, 2025)

Podcast Information

• Title: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
• Host: John Holmberg
• Station: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio
• Description: Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show where John Holmberg, along with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, seeks to entertain and engage listeners through provocative and humorous discussions.
• Episode: Featuring Carlos Mencia at Tempe Improv - In Studio
• Release Date: August 8, 2025

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Introduction

The episode begins with the usual sponsorship segments, including advertisements for MMP Guns.com, Limitless TRT, Native Grillin Wings, Patrick Riley Services, and promotions for upcoming events and products. These segments are seamlessly integrated into the show's flow, setting the stage before diving into the main content.

Guest Appearance: Carlos Mencia

[01:27] John Holmberg welcomes Carlos Mencia to the studio, referencing a previous visit where Mencia's performance led to unexpected incidents, notably involving the microphone. Holmberg humorously remarks on the incident, saying, "We saved this microphone from the last time you were here. You threw up on our microphone last time."

Discussion Highlights

1. Carlos Mencia's Live Performances

   • Residency in Las Vegas: Carlos discusses his ongoing residency in Las Vegas, emphasizing his commitment with a signed deal extending through the end of 2026.
   • Show Structure: He outlines his typical show schedule, which includes performances at 10 PM, autograph sessions, and extended karaoke sessions until the early hours.

2. Karaoke Experiences

   • Favorite Songs: A humorous exchange ensues about favorite karaoke songs, with "Wicked Game" being a preferred choice due to its vocal range challenges.
   • Audience Participation: Both Holmberg and Mencia share anecdotes about audience interactions during karaoke, highlighting the unpredictable and often entertaining nature of these sessions.

3. Comedic Approach to Sensitive Topics

   • Humor and Boundaries: Carlos delves into his comedic style, particularly how he approaches sensitive subjects like disabilities. He mentions using personal family experiences as material, such as jokes about his aunt with cerebral palsy.
   • Controversial Content: The conversation touches on the fine line between humor and offense. Mencia discusses feedback from listeners, including criticisms about "punching down" in his jokes. He defends his approach by distinguishing between making fun of disabilities and addressing them without implying intelligence disorders.

4. Audience and Diversity in Shows

   • Inclusive Audience: Carlos emphasizes the diversity of his audience, ranging from young adults to the elderly, and spanning various ethnic backgrounds. He expresses pride in creating an environment where differences are set aside for the sake of shared laughter.
   • Impact of Comedy: He reflects on the unifying power of comedy, mentioning how his performances bring together people who might otherwise hold disparate views.

5. Personal Anecdotes and Experiences

   • Interactions with Fans: Carlos shares stories about interactions with audience members, including humorous and awkward moments that occur backstage or during performances.
   • Challenges in Comedy: He candidly discusses the challenges of balancing edgy humor with maintaining respect for his audience, especially when dealing with topics that could be sensitive or triggering.

Sponsors and Promotions

Throughout the episode, various sponsors are featured, promoting products and services that align with the show's audience. Notable mentions include:

• MMP Guns.com: Highlighting a vast inventory of firearms, ammunition, and accessories with over 400,000 products available daily.
• Limitless TRT and Aesthetics: Advertising non-surgical male enhancement solutions aimed at boosting confidence.
• Native Grillin Wings: Promoting their extensive menu and special deals, especially during game seasons.
• Patrick Riley Services: Offering HVAC system checks and emergency services.
• Handle the Heat Contest: An interactive with a chance to win prizes by participating in Holmberg's hot wing eating contest.

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with final thoughts from Carlos Mencia, who reinforces the importance of making people happy through comedy. He encourages listeners to attend his shows at the Tempe Improv, highlighting the inclusive and diverse nature of his performances. Holmberg and Mencia share light-hearted banter, concluding the episode on a humorous note.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [02:08]: "Carlos Mencia is here. He's at the 10pm Pro. He's going to be here tonight, tomorrow, and Saturday."
• Carlos Mencia [13:00]: "I have a niece who's hermaphroditic."
• Carlos Mencia [38:29]: "When you come to the show tonight, tomorrow, look at the diversity. Look at the age gap."

Disclaimer: Some content within this episode involves discussions that may be offensive or sensitive to certain audiences. Listener discretion is advised.

Transcript

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[Carlos Mencia]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[John Holmberg]

You cannot talk. You are not allowed to talk. Carlos Menci is here. He's at the 10pm Prov. He's going to be here tonight, tomorrow and Saturday. We saved this microphone from the last time you were here. You threw up on our microphone last time.

[Carlos Mencia]

We're not.

[John Holmberg]

We're not wrecking two of them. So I'm having Richard change yours out before you're allowed to say a goddamn word. We'll post the picture of that. Did you guys see it? The Drool infested disaster. Carlos was on a roll. We're all laughing and having fun. We leave and he's vomited all over the microphone and left it. I've never seen that kind of spit come out of a human being and get caught in what is a spit guard. It didn't stand a chance against you. So I give you the great Carlos Mencia, one of our favorite people. But that microphone has not been washed.

[Carlos Mencia]

Since you time to code it.

[John Holmberg]

It is yours. Don't you do it perfect. So that is the. Oh, don't do that.

[Carlos Mencia]

The essence of me.

Oh, yes, it's a year old. Yes, it's at least a year of Carlos me.

This is.

Oh, my wife would be sucking this.

Down like it's a pipe juice to get to heaven.

It be to.

[John Holmberg]

To drip. And we took photos like what did he do to this thing? There's like corn. And also it was.

[Carlos Mencia]

It was you know, like the night before I drank and you know, didn't brush my teeth that morning. A lot of stuff from, you know.

[John Holmberg]

That's yours. We want you to autograph that. That is your microphone.

[Carlos Mencia]

This is perfect.

[John Holmberg]

Stop touching it.

[Carlos Mencia]

You're making smells like me. It's DNA of me.

It is beautiful. It is beautiful.

[John Holmberg]

That's how Covid started.

[Carlos Mencia]

What did you think that I was going to be?

Oh yeah. One time I was in a China. You're a Chinese guy.

[John Holmberg]

They have spit.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah, but I do a show. It's a really good morning show in a outside it's a car Shing Shun Pao and I go to Xing Shung Power but I forget to brush my teeth. And it's just a come out. It's just a come out. You just about talking.

[John Holmberg]

You're allowed to destroy that mic all you want and we want you to take it with you. Put it in your pocket and next time you're here, bring it. Don't start coughing on it.

[Carlos Mencia]

Bring it back.

[John Holmberg]

Worse. Carlos is at the Tempe Improv tonight and tomorrow if you want to get there. Tempe improv.com. welcome back.

[Carlos Mencia]

Thank you, brother. Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

Good to have you. I saw we were talking about your. You're up in Vegas doing your residency there as well.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah, it's been great, man.

[John Holmberg]

It's been awesome.

[Carlos Mencia]

Great.

[John Holmberg]

How long. How long are you going to do that?

[Carlos Mencia]

Just signed a deal through twent the end of 2026.

[John Holmberg]

So next year too?

[Carlos Mencia]

All of the next year.

[John Holmberg]

And how often is it?

[Carlos Mencia]

Every Tuesday and Wednesday.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. So. And you're at Campbell's place.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah. So every Tuesday and Wednesday at 10 o', clock, we do a show. The show ends usually, sometimes between 11:30, 11:45. Going downstairs, sign autographs for about 15, 20 minutes. And then we do karaoke till 2 in the morning. After you do.

[John Holmberg]

What's your go to on karaoke?

[Carlos Mencia]

On this one, I don't have a go to because everybody wants me to sing with them.

[John Holmberg]

When you're done, does everybody just go home because the mic's ruined after, you.

[Carlos Mencia]

Know, because my mic is my own mic, but smart. But there it's different.

You know what I mean?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

Like I go upstair.

You know what I'm saying? I floss, I do everything and then.

I go downstairs and then it's, you know. By that time I'm not screaming. That's the difference.

[John Holmberg]

But, you know, I'm singing. And when you sing, you don't have a song. You go immediately to like Wicked Game or something.

[Carlos Mencia]

No, but I could do Wicked Game.

[John Holmberg]

Wicked Game's a good one.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah, Yeah.

I could do Wicked Game, but it's a good karaoke because it's low and then high. But you gotta learn, you gotta hit that note though.

[John Holmberg]

You can't go in there not hitting it.

[Carlos Mencia]

Do you know what I'm saying? Because there are people that try to do songs. I'm like, are you sure?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

And they're like, oh, I know this song. And then they're like, what a wicked love.

It's like, dude, come on, bro, that's. You know, or, or people think they can do Journey. And it's like, dude, you. Do you really. Do you realize how high pitched.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

That song is? Don't stop believing.

[John Holmberg]

I did Journey after a guy who did Journey poorly.

[Carlos Mencia]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm like, watch this.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Just being a jerk. And I knew the guy at the karaoke.

[Carlos Mencia]

Good for you.

[John Holmberg]

Throw it in there and watch this. And I did it myself. And the guy who did Journey left, which made me happy.

[Carlos Mencia]

Good for you.

[John Holmberg]

Because secretly.

[Carlos Mencia]

What? Karaoke boy left?

[John Holmberg]

Karaoke isn't fun. It's an internal contest.

[Carlos Mencia]

Correct.

[John Holmberg]

You're just trying to make other people feel like they're not as good as you.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And when there's a winner. And I watched a guy get up there and do all of Conte Party Ro by Andrea Bocelli.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And he stood. He was in a suit. He came to karaoke.

[Carlos Mencia]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Put his hand on his chest there to play. I'm like, oh boy, we're in for.

[Carlos Mencia]

He Was in. He was in.

[John Holmberg]

All right, let him go.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But he was kind of douche because he overdid it with the song.

[Carlos Mencia]

He overdid it with the high pitch. There was a lot of that. On Tuesday night we had a literally mariachi band come and see me perform.

[John Holmberg]

That's awesome.

[Carlos Mencia]

So then they each took a turn to sing some Spanish song. So it was just all Spanish music the whole time.

And, dude, it was hysterical because this.

One white guy is like, well, God damn it. I used to date this one chick and she made me learn this one.

Song and I'm gonna sing it in Spanish, bro. And he didn't know Spanish. You could tell that he had no.

Idea what Spanish was.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, all the words were in Spanish.

[Carlos Mencia]

He nailed that song, though.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah, he nailed like.

And you could tell the way he was singing it. Yeah, he wasn't like a guy that's like a light to. You know that light skinned Mexican guy that everybody thinks is some white dude.

[John Holmberg]

Canelo Everest.

[Carlos Mencia]

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that guy. And all of a sudden, you know.

You know, all of a sudden you hear him speak English and he's like, what's happening?

And you're like, wait a minute, wait, wait. Whoa, wrong accent. Shouldn't you be Irish, sir? Shouldn't it be a little leprechauny? Look like Bill Burr? A little leprechauny. Now he's. You know what I mean?

He's got an accent.

Yeah.

So that guy came. So it was the opposite.

Did he go, all right, everybody freeze?

He was like, no.

He goes, this is. I'm doing this. And then, then all of a sudden the song comes out and he's just hit pork. I was like, he's killing it, dude. He's killing was awesome.

We had a, a dwarf come, a little person who had achondroplasia. An acon. Like the.

Yeah, why?

[John Holmberg]

You can cuten it up.

[Carlos Mencia]

He's an acre. Yeah, he's an akon. Akons are, are the, the average looking ones. The ones that all kind of have the same hair. The facial structure. Those are.

[John Holmberg]

They all look alike. You're saying the same facial structure. I heard you.

[Carlos Mencia]

You know what I'm talking about.

[John Holmberg]

These were the ones that we used.

[Carlos Mencia]

To toss back in the day.

Because they're not as fragile as the others.

[John Holmberg]

Those ones, the strong boned.

[Carlos Mencia]

The strong boneded ones.

[John Holmberg]

The milk drinking.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yes. Like if you shrunk him. Yes. Perfect body type.

Right there'.

There's.

See, those are all icons.

[John Holmberg]

They Just look like they've been like a shrinky dink humans. They're. They're still Brad.

[Carlos Mencia]

The Brad Williams.

[John Holmberg]

Williams.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

And then, dude, we played the video.

On one screen because there's two giant screens. And then on the other screen we.

Played the Unans, if you want to. And then I. I would chase him around, like in the video while we were singing the song. Dude, it was. It was. And he was running and I'm chasing him, bro. And it was old schooly, know what I mean?

Kind of rapey.

Like way back in the day for.

The Pirates of the Caribbean.

Do you know what I mean? Don't. You don't remember when it was?

[John Holmberg]

When we used to rape midgets?

[Carlos Mencia]

Well, not midgets, I'm saying.

Yeah, but do you remember. Do you remember when.

When we were kids and you would go to the Pirates of the Caribbean.

Ride the pirate was chasing the chick. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

To bang her.

[John Holmberg]

That's all.

[Carlos Mencia]

Absolutely.

Then it turned into the fat chick chasing the guy. Then it turned into the fat chick chasing the bone.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

And.

And now it's like nobody chasing nobody.

Because nobody chases anybody anymore. And you're not allowed to do that anymore.

[John Holmberg]

Nowhere in that comparison was a man chasing a small person.

[Carlos Mencia]

No, no, no.

But I'm saying we did it the.

Way they did it.

[John Holmberg]

Comparatively, you're bringing into an area where raping little people is your goal, pretty much.

[Carlos Mencia]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

That's all I'm getting.

[Carlos Mencia]

What I'm saying is, had you not known what we were doing and that we were comedians doing a show, you walked in, you would have been like.

Oh, my God, if he catches him, he's gonna pay.

You understand what I'm saying? My face had that look of like, if I catch you, you little son of a bitch. If you don't have a pot of gold, you got a nice ass. You know what I mean? That was the whole.

[John Holmberg]

They all have a big ass.

[Carlos Mencia]

I was going for.

That was the look I was going for.

And the midget was running like, oh, my God. Like, at first it was like, this is fun.

And then I was like, I think.

Carlos is gonna rip this. No, it just got real. It just got real.

[John Holmberg]

And if you did catch him, you gotta follow through because you've set it in expectation.

[Carlos Mencia]

Well, at this point, you know, we might have to disappear for a second.

[John Holmberg]

Throw him against the wall, at least dry hump him. Let them know you mean this.

[Carlos Mencia]

Just something.

[John Holmberg]

Beat him up for the next performance.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah, yeah.

It's fun. And then four lesbian Chicks showed up and literally said, we're singing the anthem.

And I said, they're singing Four Non Blondes. What's going on? And they came in and did Four Non Blondes, bro.

[John Holmberg]

They did.

[Carlos Mencia]

And I was singing with them, and. Because I hit the high pitches and they couldn't.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So they're lesbians.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yes.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

And so they were like, hey.

And I was like. And I hit the high notes and.

They all kissed me during the song. Wow. Yes, bro. You have the same haircut or lesbian.

[John Holmberg]

They're very attracted. Very attracted to your type.

[Carlos Mencia]

Ever since I gained weight, I just kind of look like a chubby lesbo. Put a little weight on.

[John Holmberg]

You got your hair cut real tight. You start singing Four Non Blondes. I'm pretty sure.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah. You know, that's pretty one.

You know what? That's probably what it was. They didn't kiss me.

They kissed that version of me. That look later like, oh, my God. I think he has a nice vagina.

I think we had so much fun singing with Carlito. Carlita.

Carlita.

[John Holmberg]

They liked you. At the 10pm Pro this weekend. Friday, Saturday, and get it at 10pm prov.com. what else is going on in your life? Last time you were here, when you were puking on our mic, you said something about testing out some sort of weird sex thing you were doing.

[Carlos Mencia]

Testing out sex things.

[John Holmberg]

I'm sort of. New lifestyle.

[Carlos Mencia]

I don't remember a new lifestyle.

Is that what you were doing?

I have no idea.

You make me talk about crap. I should never talk about raping. So this is you. This is what happened to Rock Hill, bro. I just didn't know if that was no other morning show, do I end up going, oh, I was gonna rape a midget? No, don't. No, dude. You tap into my darkest secrets, bro. It's because you talked to me nicely right before, and then as soon as this comes out, I make you midgets. And then it just goes there.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I talk nicely. You bring up a topic, I listen.

[Carlos Mencia]

No, right now, what's going on is a lot of people with disabilities are coming to my shows.

[John Holmberg]

All right, I hear what you're saying a lot. Seriously, Is that your new sex thing?

[Carlos Mencia]

No, what it is, is. So I started doing jokes about my aunt. Okay? So my aunt has cerebral. My godmother has cerebral palsy.

[John Holmberg]

Okay?

[Carlos Mencia]

Right. So I have 11 sisters, six brothers, three people don't know, 78 nephews and nieces. This doesn't include uncles, aunts and everything.

Right?

So whatever disease or genetic abnormality you've ever heard of.

[John Holmberg]

It's in there.

[Carlos Mencia]

It's in my family somewhere.

You know what I'm saying? Whatever it is, it's in.

So I have a little bit of everything.

We.

I even have a niece who's hermaphroditic.

No kidding. Wow.

And I swear to God, she's the only person in my family that I've never said, go f yourself.

Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, that's the one. Like, I'm a human being, dude. I'm not an. Yeah, yeah. She's the one person.

[John Holmberg]

I've never said that to 138 family members.

[Carlos Mencia]

And it's come up sometimes.

[John Holmberg]

She might.

[Carlos Mencia]

She might.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Have you seen it?

[Carlos Mencia]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta ask?

[Carlos Mencia]

No.

[John Holmberg]

If you're gonna bring her up to strangers, you have to at least give us some detail.

[Carlos Mencia]

Well, I've never seen it. Like, I couldn't ask now.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Carlos Mencia]

Because I. It's weird. She's an adult, dude.

[John Holmberg]

So it's better than when she was a kid.

[Carlos Mencia]

What are you talking about?

[Unknown]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Carlos Mencia]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness. That would have been better. Like, so when she was like one year old.

[John Holmberg]

Let me tell you this. I can say from watching a lot of crime shows, uncle asks niece to show his vagina and penis together. Automatically bad. An adult, it's more medical.

[Carlos Mencia]

No. Yeah, one, it's fine. I don't think it's ever. Yes, one, it's fine. Once you get to three or four.

And they start talking.

Okay, that's creepy. Yeah. But when you're asking, you're grooming a baby that can't even talk.

Hey, let me see the penis and vagina.

[John Holmberg]

So you just don't want it to be able to talk in court, really. So prior to speech, let's take a look at that thing.

[Carlos Mencia]

I'm just.

What it is, is the stage liberates me to say whatever, because I know you should know that it's a joke.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

And if you don't, that's on you. So I started talking about my aunt who has. My godmother who has cerebral palsy.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

And it morphed because somebody was like. So somebody goes, you're punching down. And I'm like, see, this is the problem. That right now you're acting like I'm the bad guy, when in truth, you're the ass.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

And she's like, what do you mean? I said punching down. That means that you see them beneath you and I don't. That's the difference. I'm not making fun of people that are mentally retarded or have down syndrome. On the spectrum, that's different. I'm making some fun of people with cerebral palsy.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

People with cerebral palsy have a neurological disorder. They don't have an intelligence disorder.

Right.

And my aunt, she takes advantage.

Right? She's a person. I swear to God, dude, When I.

Bring people over the house that she's never met before to get them to do things for her, she's a little.

More than she really is. You know what I'm saying?

[John Holmberg]

She plays the part.

[Carlos Mencia]

She has one good.

I can milk another. Like, she'll tell you I can play the piano with this one, but not with this one. She'll tell. Yeah.

But then all of a sudden, I.

Bring my friend Tina over, and all of a sudden she's like, can somebody help me get my coffee mug? And I'm like, use your good hand, Tina. Use your good hand. And you could tell that she's playing me when she grabs the cup with.

Her good hand, looks at me and.

Goes, playing me, bro? Playing me.

Yeah, she made me. She. When I was 19, guilted me for the first time into having sex with somebody with palsy.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. And I'm the bad guy.

[Carlos Mencia]

Well, what do you do, bro, when somebody with palsy is saying to you she wants to have sex with you? And I'm like, this feels like you're pimping her out. It doesn't feel right. And she's like, oh, so you won't have sex with somebody with palsy? What's wrong with us?

Nothing's wrong with you.

Then why can't you. Okay, fine, I'll do it. Swear to God. That's how it happened.

[John Holmberg]

Does not make you a better man.

[Carlos Mencia]

Well, you're trying to get. No. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And the answer is because she has cruelty.

[Carlos Mencia]

She came out and was like, what's wrong with me? I'll tell you exactly.

[John Holmberg]

The doctor said so.

[Carlos Mencia]

There was nothing wrong with her. She just has palsy. There's nothing wrong with her.

[John Holmberg]

That's where I draw the line.

[Carlos Mencia]

And they say, not me, bro. So I go, okay, is there a way to have sex with somebody with palsy?

[John Holmberg]

Doggy style?

[Carlos Mencia]

No. And my. My aunt goes, just lay down on your back. She'll get on top and shake a lot. I swear to God, that was your pants still there.

And that's exactly what I did, bro.

And it was incredible. The weird part was when I. When I had my OG for about 15 seconds, we had the same face. That was very creepy, dude. I'm not gonna lie to you, dude. That was creepy.

That was weird.

That really was weird, because for literally 10 seconds, she was like, oh, my God. And I'm like, oh, my God face. And I'm just like, wow.

And so what happens is people with palsy.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

Especially a lot more. But others as well. Hear that. And they come to my show and they let me know before the show starts that they're there.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

Because they want me to know we're here. You have to do all your palsy.

[John Holmberg]

Do your palsy bits.

[Carlos Mencia]

Because they want. And I asked like, why do you want me to do it? And they were like, it normalizes things. Because here's what one guy said to me.

When I go out, I see his people tell leave their kids not to look at me. Yeah. I only see people looking away. But when we come to see you, you see us for people. Good. And. Yeah. And sex objects. And I'm a pimp and I have some hoes for you.

[John Holmberg]

When she had the orgasm, did she suddenly just go, oh, Carlos, this is fantastic.

[Carlos Mencia]

She flips. That's what I thought. Dude, I swear to God, you and I are on the same page, bro. When I went, I was expecting her to be like, this is fabulous. I was expecting the same thing. I have arrived. And then, oh, God, I'm back. I'm back. You know what I mean? Almost. Yeah, exactly. No, give me that. 15 second. I literally was going, man, wouldn't it.

Be awesome if for 15 seconds, she's just completely normal? And I took her place and she took mine.

You swap it? I did. It would have been like Freaky Friday. I know, right?

[John Holmberg]

I go to that Freaky Friday.

[Carlos Mencia]

But.

But they. But they're coming to the shows and they're hanging out. And they're hanging out afterwards.

[John Holmberg]

Did you give the bad hand a run?

[Carlos Mencia]

What was that?

[John Holmberg]

Did you give the bad hand a run?

[Carlos Mencia]

No, only the good hand. Not allowed the bad hand there.

[John Holmberg]

Just flop it in there and see what happens.

[Carlos Mencia]

I just.

I could not go there. There's your line.

Is palsy my line? You can't touch me with that creepy hat. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[John Holmberg]

So you are a bigot.

[Carlos Mencia]

It's not that it's creepy. It is. No, it's just that I'm afraid that.

She'S gonn out my penis and try.

Left and jerk right, and it's gonna break or something.

You know what I mean?

They don't have good control of that.

Walks in like a channel lock. You know how many times my aunt told me she's gonna punch me in the face and then she kicks me.

Because she has palsy.

Do you know what I'm saying? So I don't know if I can trust this hand.

[John Holmberg]

All right, I gotcha. I'd still give it her. I just hit it in there once and let's see what goes on with my fist back just in case I gotta.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Knock her out or something.

[Carlos Mencia]

Because, Because I, I, I, I'm.

I get the feeling that sex options are going to happen really soon for me.

No. Girls that are coming to see the.

[John Holmberg]

Show because your new target audience and.

[Carlos Mencia]

Because I'm talking about having sex with them. And now they know that I've been.

With three of them, so I'm sure.

[John Holmberg]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Carlos Mencia]

Well, that wasn't. She'd only killed me once.

[John Holmberg]

There were two.

[Carlos Mencia]

Guilted me three times.

[John Holmberg]

How many palsy friends does she have?

[Carlos Mencia]

I don't know, man.

[John Holmberg]

Keep them coming.

[Carlos Mencia]

She was pimping them.

She was pimping them and I just, I felt so.

Well, first of all, they were sexy. Let me be honest with you.

[John Holmberg]

Stop it.

[Carlos Mencia]

They were, bro. I'm telling you.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, I'll give it to you.

[Carlos Mencia]

All right.

Two of them, Two of them were bangable. And one of them was like, wow, she was in a bikini. You'd be like, nice body.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah, for real. She was.

[John Holmberg]

But she had like a little bit.

[Carlos Mencia]

Of a. Yeah, she had a little.

Bit of like a, like a sheet. But it made her sucks here because it made her walk sexier. Like a pimp walk a little pimp.

Walk a little side to side dish.

And her ass would like swish sideways to the left.

Once she Watch it, look out. Damn. Yeah, it looked like she was kind.

Of like hipping her left.

Boom.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's, she's strutting, but she was.

[Carlos Mencia]

She, she didn't have like. She was mild palsy.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Carlos Mencia]

Do you know what I mean? Like, you could be. You'd have to really look to see.

[John Holmberg]

Kind of the mild palsy is the one you can flip around.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The other ones, you just let them do the work.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Three of them now.

[Carlos Mencia]

Three of them.

[John Holmberg]

What's your goal? I don't do 10 by Christmas.

[Carlos Mencia]

To not offend these women.

My goal is to not have one of them crying in a bath going, why didn't he want to bang me? Like, that's my goal. How about a three?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, hell, you got two good hands.

[Carlos Mencia]

Oh, hell yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This would be awesome.

[Carlos Mencia]

Hell yeah. He's on the mission for. This is fabulous. Yes. If I do it, if I got.

Two palsies, that mean I got one.

Good one and one full palsy. So I don't know what the math is going to be on that one.

I'm either going two palsy full one or you know. Yeah, that's what I would do if. If I had a threesome, I would tell both of them, you're going with.

Your bad hands on this one. We're doing full palsy tonight, baby. Full palsy. And I want a back rub from.

One of you, because I know it's.

Gonna be the weirdest back rub ever right there. Oh, wrongful swat.

[John Holmberg]

You know, just stop sleeping with all the palsy people.

[Carlos Mencia]

I. I couldn't stop, bro.

It was intriguing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it is intriguing.

[Carlos Mencia]

It was really.

[John Holmberg]

I might chuck it. I don't think I could be involved in. I might watch.

[Carlos Mencia]

It was intriguing, bro. It was fun. And to see the look on their faces in. In all honesty, bro.

[John Holmberg]

And when you get tired, what's next?

[Carlos Mencia]

You know what I mean?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

So I. Well, here's the thing. Every single tease, every single person done that already. Every single. Yeah. Every single person that I've ever met in comedy with a disease or a genetic abnormality has opened for me.

Every single one.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah. Like, from Josh Blue to Chris von Zeca to every single one. So I'm that kind of person like this because my kid. My. You know, my cousin Benji in a wheelchair, so I used to hang out with him at the hospital all the time. So I got to hang out with all these people all the time. So it's. And then we had.

[John Holmberg]

We had a contest earlier this year, and one of our contestants has als.

[Carlos Mencia]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

We call him ALS Matt.

[Carlos Mencia]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

And it's. It's progressed to the point where he's hard to understand and all that. He's in his contest with four other people at the end of it, because we just. We played it up like we had fun with it. At the end, he just said, thanks for treating me normal.

[Carlos Mencia]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

That's. That's it. And then we had sex with him.

[Carlos Mencia]

That's what that.

[John Holmberg]

Which was fantastic. That's exactly.

[Carlos Mencia]

How did you bang him?

[John Holmberg]

Well, from behind, I couldn't look at his face. It was horrifying. Is it all. You know, he's melting, basically. I didn't want to see that.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah, but.

[John Holmberg]

But from behind, it's just like getting anyone else.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah, yeah. They shake as well, Brad. You could just stay there and let them shake their way through it. Shake. I. I. So.

But what's happening, too, is, like, people with other disabilities are coming, and now they're getting pissed.

[John Holmberg]

Brett has found a website of palsy.

[Carlos Mencia]

See, there it is, baby. There it is.

[John Holmberg]

Are you in this?

[Carlos Mencia]

There's the. I might be, bro. I might be. I might be. Look for 1988 stuff. It's going to be square box in 480p.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, this was 1988 when you first did this?

[Unknown]

This?

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah, I was 19 years old.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. I thought you had some sort of notoriety where these people would be. This was just some random guy.

[Carlos Mencia]

I was a very special person even back then.

[John Holmberg]

Not as special as she was. And you were average, like just Joe, Right? You're just some 19 year old guy. Your. Your aunt's pimping you out.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

I thought it would be like, hey, you want to bang Carlos Mencia? And I knew who that was.

[Carlos Mencia]

Oh, no. These were girls that were not, you know, that had hit. Hit their horny space and nobody wanted them. And they came to a regular guy who didn't look at them as if they were just a disease.

Wow.

He's got the star status.

Yeah.

And now that I got the star status is when I haven't done it.

You know what I mean?

[John Holmberg]

Wow, that's crazy. All right, well, we got him in the audience tonight. If you've got palsy, you're getting free. All you have to do is climb the stairs to get into the 10pm problem. If you get up those stairs, you get a free ticket challenge.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No elevators for you tonight. Tonight and tomorrow at 10pmpref.com other than, I don't know, ransacking through the handicap community. What's going on?

[Carlos Mencia]

I'm not. It just happens, dude. Oh, sure.

[John Holmberg]

Just you, though. Raise your hands if you're in the room. You bang somebody with a disability. Just you, my friend.

[Carlos Mencia]

I'm a curious human being, bro.

[John Holmberg]

You're Neil Armstrong.

[Carlos Mencia]

When I saw the chick with the amputee come to see me perform and she took her leg off during my set and rubbed the nub, I was like, I'm gonna bang this chick, Ton.

I swear to God. That is my mentality, bro. I will never forget.

I am at the Comedy Store. She's sexy. She takes off her fake leg and rubs the little nub above the knee.

And I looked at her and I.

Told her, I go, I'm banging you tonight. And she smiled and said, okay. And that was it.

You did Morning sickness.

[Unknown]

All right, HMS Podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. East side and Tempe at the Improv catch. The always hilarious Carlos Mencia. Funny Marco will be performing his sets downtown at Stand Up Live and at the Desert Ridge Improv. You've got the one and only Annie Letterman entertaining you all week for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com.

[Brett Vesely]

And tempeimprov.com hey, Byron, I was looking at mmpguns.com's website. You have everything, and the prices are incredible.

[Byron]

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys, and more. The best part is, if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[Brett Vesely]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[Byron]

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[Brett Vesely]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP.

[Doug Hopkins]

Guns.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness Podcast is sponsored by Better Health Help Back to School. Workplace upheaval, Relationship stress, Deadline anxiety. We all go through these moments in our daily lives that leave our mental health and wellness on shaky ground. It's Dick Diluteo from Holmberg's morning sickness for BetterHelp. I personally have felt the benefits of therapy to get through a rough patch and to give me a way to navigate that tough time and a strategy to recognize when I'm not handling situations my best. And with over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform. With BetterHelp, you can join a session with a therapist at the click of a button button and switch therapists anytime to help you fit therapy into your life where it's best. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a broad array of expertise. So give yourself a helping hand and talk it out with better help. Morning Sickness listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com Holmberg that's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com Holmberg Holmberg's Morning Sickness and I did, bro.

[Carlos Mencia]

I did.

[John Holmberg]

How'd she lose her life?

[Carlos Mencia]

The leg without the leg.

I did it all.

[John Holmberg]

You put it back on for a little while.

[Carlos Mencia]

I strapped it back on for a while.

I licked the actual, actual fake leg.

Oh, I just thought. Filled it up, drank out of it.

Well, here was the weird part.

Like, I thought she was gonna be.

Like, oh, that's sexy.

And she was like, why are you.

Licking that fake leg? I was like, I thought you Know what I mean? I thought that she would appreciate it.

[John Holmberg]

But Halsey lady liked it. Like she probably didn't feel everything.

[Carlos Mencia]

We took it off and I was playing with the nub and the one leg up here and then up. Down there.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, bro, you touched the nub tub. Oh, where the knot is. Where it's all tied back on.

[Carlos Mencia]

Oh, yes.

[John Holmberg]

Couldn't do that.

[Carlos Mencia]

If.

Bro, look, here's gonna get hard for any. If you're gonna pee with a chick.

Yeah, right.

Or a dude, whatever you are, who has some kind of a physical disability entailment or whatever.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Carlos Mencia]

The whole point is to make them feel normal. You know what I mean? That's the whole point. Unless you're gonna marry him and.

[John Holmberg]

But if you're just sexing it, then you don't.

[Carlos Mencia]

That's it.

It that. That's the point. Probably makes you feel good about it.

You know what I mean? And I'm sure that they don't want.

The memory of you being like, I'm love this.

You know what I mean?

[John Holmberg]

I like that noise. I think that noise is something that I like. If starts happening, we're doing something, right?

[Carlos Mencia]

Well, yeah, usually, but they're. They're body parts and all this other stuff involved in that noise.

[John Holmberg]

Your advice to someone with somebody who has it is to sexualize the disease?

[Carlos Mencia]

Sexualize the person, the illness.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Like rub the nub.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's sexualizing the thing.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yes.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

Make them feel like they don't.

You know what I mean?

[John Holmberg]

You finish on it. You finish on the nub.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yes, you do.

See, every goddamn time I'm here, man. Every goddamn time, bro, there's something that comes out that I didn't want.

[John Holmberg]

That's what she said.

[Carlos Mencia]

You had to. Come on, bro. There was only one way to end that thing. Of course I'm eyeballing it the whole time. Face. No, no, your face is fine. There's a reason I took off your fake.

[John Holmberg]

And then I'm gonna put it back on and it's gonna let it.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah, mush it around.

[John Holmberg]

I'm with you on that one. You're talking me into this now?

[Carlos Mencia]

I'm telling you, bro, I'm gonna go.

[John Holmberg]

Home and cut Megan's legs off.

[Carlos Mencia]

I'm telling you, bro. It's.

It's.

It's been fun, dude. It's.

It's. Yes, I've. I've had a lot. A lot of diseases. The only one I've.

I've never.

[John Holmberg]

Well, this is why you have your own microphone.

[Carlos Mencia]

Never Gone to Down syndrome.

[John Holmberg]

Never, never done of downs. I think that's wrong. I think that's illegal.

[Carlos Mencia]

I believe that anybody with the. With the mental disability. Mental. That's like that. That, you know, affects them that way.

[John Holmberg]

Because you can manipulate them into doing things.

[Carlos Mencia]

Of course, dude. Of course. That's not. That's not even cool. That's. That's on a whole different level. So you don't have a. A disability or disease that doesn't affect your brain.

[John Holmberg]

What about like Stephen?

[Carlos Mencia]

I would have banged him so hard, I would. Oh, bro.

I would have. Yeah. Give me that math theory, you little. Like, oh, I would have been in there, bro.

[John Holmberg]

You just stick it in by black hole.

[Carlos Mencia]

Ye.

I want you to come in into the back door.

I would have. Oh my God.

I would have been making him hit that. Yes, yes.

[John Holmberg]

Get me on top of you and work me like a Cabbage patch kid.

[Carlos Mencia]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But.

[John Holmberg]

But part of me is so wildly handicapped. Paralysis. You're throwing that down.

[Carlos Mencia]

So long as they somebody that has paralysis.

Shut Your disgusting.

Because of my cousin Benji who's in a wheelchair.

Well, look, here's the problem.

When you hang out with them, right.

[Brett Vesely]

More of them roll up.

[Carlos Mencia]

And then what happens is if you don't treat them like you treat every other person.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

They know it. And then they feel bad. And I'm just not that kind of part. Like, what makes me really good as a comedian is I want people to be happy.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

Like that's really a part of who I am. That's a part of my being. And so when these girls were basically like, hey, if you bang me, it's gonna make me feel normal.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

Because if a dude like, exactly, bro.

[John Holmberg]

No, I've got a question. That's just.

[Carlos Mencia]

You know what? I've hang out with the Mencia family. You're gonna get laid.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly. By Carlos. Probably. Here's the thing.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What if you found out that sex with a Down syndrome person cured it?

[Carlos Mencia]

I would bang every person with down.

Syndrome that I could find, bro. That's a horrible thing, dude. I would be walking around going, listen, my jizz will make you normal. That'd be like a snake oil salesman showing up from town to town to be in line of women. And I just. You just be. You just have a little.

[John Holmberg]

Actually, the answer to that was, what's wrong with you, John? But Carlos decided to go. I'll tell you exactly what I was doing.

[Carlos Mencia]

I will.

[John Holmberg]

And that's where we get along. Because the correct answer from a Normal person is what's wrong with you? When I ask that.

[Carlos Mencia]

Correct.

[John Holmberg]

You had an answer.

[Carlos Mencia]

But this is what I tell people.

Like, listen, I start my shows off by telling people, well, here's what it is. I've been, I've. I've begun to. So on Saturday, somebody called in a bomb threat at 3 o' clock in the afternoon hoping that they could stop my shows from happening. All right. It's happened before, by the way.

[John Holmberg]

Holy cow.

[Carlos Mencia]

So they'll call in a bomb threat so that, you know, no people can.

[John Holmberg]

Go and is it a metaphor, is it a joke that you're going to bomb that night? No, they, they really want me not.

[Carlos Mencia]

To have a show. Like, there are people that hate me that much.

Wow.

That they're literally stopping me from having a show.

Literally.

That kind of hate. I don't know why. I don't know what it is.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

I have no idea what Joe Rogan.

Said during those years.

Yeah. But whatever it was, it had to have been so. Just. I don't know what it is that.

These people 20 years later are like.

[John Holmberg]

It'S 20 years ago.

[Carlos Mencia]

Like, dude, I swear to God, I.

Have a friend who, when all that stuff went down, went into jail for gta. Okay. He went to jail for Grand Theft Auto.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

He's been out for 15 years. Years. I'm still in Comedy Jam.

[John Holmberg]

Would you ever go on Rogan's show? Would you ever go on there and go, let's ask this out?

[Carlos Mencia]

Well, first of all, I don't have a problem with it. Like, people start yelling out negative stuff. Like almost every show now I have to tell people not to do that.

[John Holmberg]

Don't do that.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

I'm like, dude, that's not what I'm not. I'm not about that.

Two decades.

Tell people what you saw tonight. Tell people what you experienced. Don't put somebody else down. In order for me to feel better about myself, not who I am, not where I live, not why I grew past all this stuff. So no, I, I don't, I don't care any. But. But what I'm saying is somebody. But this idiot called it in at 3. So by the time it was 5, we were cleared.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

And the show started little bit early, dumbass. At 6:30 or 7 for a 7:30.

Show, you know, so I'm doing a video like, stupid. You should if you want me not to do a show, like, telling them game time to get my stuff.

But yeah, so. So for me, it's like, like, I just want to make People. I just want to make people happy. And it's him. And it's. It's what?

Good.

But I start off by telling people, like, look, comedians don't try to be edgy. Yeah, that's like me. I'm not. I don't come on this show to try to be edgy. I'm just talking about my life.

[John Holmberg]

Just you.

[Carlos Mencia]

It just happens to be that I'm a guy who's experienced all this stuff because of the family that I have, because of where I grew up. Dude, I grew up around Mexicans that hate white people, but only shot Mexicans.

That's literally who I grew up with.

I grew up around this guy. How come you don't make more fun.

Of white people, bro?

You know I hate white people, right? And I'm like, but how come you only shoot Mexicans? And I swear to God, this was the answer. Because they live far.

Seriously, dude, It's a lot of gas, you know?

You know how far it is to drive from Guadalupe all the way to.

Gilbert, man, Bro, you have to take, like, four freeways right now. One of them, you have to pay. Nah, bro. Not paying a toll. Shoot a wero. Like.

I grew up around a lot of stuff like that. Like, and so I tell people, I'm not trying to be edgy.

[John Holmberg]

No. It just happens.

[Carlos Mencia]

I literally have had sex with three women, cerebral palsy, because my aunt slash godmother guilted me into doing it. And I'm the right guy to guilt into stuff like that. I'm the guy that you could go, do you want to make him feel normal?

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You have. Yeah. You're a people pleaser.

[Carlos Mencia]

I'm a people pleaser. And, you know, and it was good, dude.

[John Holmberg]

All right, that's enough of that.

[Carlos Mencia]

It was good. Good.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Carlos Mencia]

Because with regular women, there's a rhythm.

You know what I'm saying?

That rhythm. With them, you can get into a rhythm. With a regular chick, they. Chaos.

And then you kind of go. And then you go with them, and.

They go with you. This is chaos theory.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

You start going, yeah, yeah, she went left up. She went right up. Unpredictable. She's unpredictable. Quaking, right? Oh, there's the word. I'm gonna say. She's quaking. She's quaking. What is that? You never know, bro. You never know.

[John Holmberg]

She's chicken on hot plate. Carlos MC is at the 10p improv tonight and tomorrow. Carlos, leave us with words of wisdom. And while people are Getting tickets at 10pm prev.com.

[Carlos Mencia]

Everybody right now needs to see a Carlos Mencia show, but you need to experience it in its entirety. So first, when you get there, please look around to the age gap and.

[John Holmberg]

Make way for the wheelchairs and the diversity.

[Carlos Mencia]

All right, seriously, when you come to the show tonight, tomorrow, look at the diversity. Look at the age gap. So you could see that there's 20 year olds all the way to, like, 80 year olds.

[Unknown]

No kidding.

[Carlos Mencia]

And the ethnic diversity is incredible. Everything, it's a melting pot. And then at the end of the show, when you've laughed at everything you laughed at, look around again and remember that for the first time, probably in a long time, you were hanging out with people that believe differently than you, feel differently than you, live differently than you. And yet you were all able to get along and laugh at the exact same thing at the exact same time without having a fight over whether you're red or blue or trump or whatever. You were just human. For that one hour, we were on stage and enjoying life. That's the gift that I'm giving to people right now. It's amazing, man.

[John Holmberg]

So you say that, and the current time is 9 11.

[Carlos Mencia]

How about that? And if you have a disease, I'm probably gonna bang you tonight.

Yeah, you're gonna come out feeling good. You better roll that wheelchair.

[John Holmberg]

You know what I think the worst thing you could ever hear is?

[Unknown]

What?

[Carlos Mencia]

I'm pregnant.

Yeah, that would.

That would be bad. Like, you literally took me to a really dark place for a second there. Cuz. Cuz. Yeah. Yeah.

You can't tell that girl to plan B it.

No.

[John Holmberg]

Or no? Let me take you to Plan Parent and waddle you in there.

[Carlos Mencia]

No, that's when I go, do you like Jamba Juice?

Oh, I gotta stop by CVS really quick.

[John Holmberg]

Would you take her to the Planned Parenthood and just let her go? Would you go in with her?

[Carlos Mencia]

Oh, no, I would just plan B.

It the next day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If it was like a month later.

[Carlos Mencia]

Well, that would know.

[John Holmberg]

But she would know she's pregnant the next day.

[Carlos Mencia]

Oh, no, but I would know if I. If I actually had an orgasm. If I. Yeah, but you're not. I didn't.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. You're not that good at it. You don't know when you're. When you're. When you've hit the goal.

[Carlos Mencia]

Well, but my whole point is if you don't, you plan B.

[John Holmberg]

You plan B no matter what.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What if something happened you didn't realize?

[Carlos Mencia]

And all I'm saying is there's this. There's this one thing they make. That's a carrot juice blend that. When you put a plan B into it and mix it, you can't take taste it.

So I hear.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. It's Bill Cosby's secondary plan.

[Carlos Mencia]

You knock them out and then you put it in and give him the vitamin C. But that's.

Don't see the cows.

The whole weird part about that Bill.

Cosby thing was this for me, here's a dude who had women in his room who wanted to bang him.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

They were ready to bang him.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Carlos Mencia]

Who literally said, I want to ride you like the stallion. And my dad bought me when I.

Was eight years old. I.

And. And his response was, but I want you to be asleep.

Wait, what? What? What? What? Wait a minute. No, I. You know what I mean. Like, how weird is that? That's weird part.

[John Holmberg]

Pruney toes. That's the weirdest part. He would suck their feet till they pruned while they slept.

[Carlos Mencia]

Oh, so see, that's real.

So that might have been like his fetish. But he was afraid for women.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody just said something.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah, like I would. I do have to spend some time.

Yeah, I would just tell a chick.

See, I'm the kind of guy that if I was a footy guy, I'd be like, I'm gonna suck on your.

[John Holmberg]

Toes until they prune. Keep it down up there. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna keep going. Now your words mean nothing.

[Carlos Mencia]

And if you're. If you're not into that, that's my thing.

This is.

This is my thing.

[John Holmberg]

There you go.

[Carlos Mencia]

Yeah, I would. I would say something.

[John Holmberg]

Which is why he should have gotten a Hawking. Yeah, he should have sucked the Hawking.

[Carlos Mencia]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

It's a good band. Suck the Hawking's a good band name. Carlos. It's always good to see you, brother. Carlosmancy at Tempe Improv. That's where you go.

[Carlos Mencia]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

No membership fee.

I have heard enough of this.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.

[Carlos Mencia]

Brett.

[Byron]

I sure do. It's MMP Guns Customs MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Byron]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where live. You can ship it to us or. We already have completed firearms in inventory. Daily with no wait.

[Carlos Mencia]

Well, there you have it.

[Brett Vesely]

MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscustoms.com.

[Limitless TRT]

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