← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
08-08-25 - Emailer Breann Is Mad We Talked About Dildos When Her Kid Was In The Car - Making Sure Brady Knows What He's Facing After Surgery - Speeding PSA Has Us Questioning The State's Use Of Taxpayer Funds
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John Holmberg
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The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Throwing things onto the court. Obviously you guys know what the object is and I just want to comment on this has been going on for centuries. The sexualization. This is the latest version of that and it's not funny. It should not be the bug of jokes on any radio shows or in prints or in any comments. The sexualization of women is what's used to hold women down and this is no different. This is just its laid at school and we should write about it. In that way. And these people that are doing this should be held accountable. And we're not the butt of the joke. They're the problem. Yeah. Okay. That's Coach Reeve of the Minnesota Links having a press conference. She called during practice to tell everybody that the dildo throwing is not funny. And it's been going on for thousands of years. I've never seen it, never seen dildo tossed at anybody until recently. And then at the end, she reminds us, we are not the butt of the joke. Well, I'm watching the video. And a very. Of course, because they're doing it wrong again in the wnba. In the video, of course, her saying it's not funny while she's talking, someone has aied a giant dildo microphone right into her face. And it is outrageously funny. Yes, it is. And if they can, you, wnba, when. When will you hire me as your proper PR person? You sit down with all the coaches and you say you don't talk about it. The more you talk about it, the more the jokesters make fun of it. This is not the sexualization of our product. The more we talk about it, the more the jackasses are gonna thrive on it. Me, I'm a jackass. Hire me. I'll tell you what the jackasses think of your. That's the best thing you can do for your product. Hire someone who hates it to run the pr. Because he'll tell you what people who hate your product are thinking. There's a whole paper on the history of them. The history of. She's right. They've been around for years. The dildos have been around for years, but nobody's been throwing them at people. That's new. Your. Your people are responsible for the name A little bit back in the diletto, the latto used to be the name. All right, Brady's done some dildo research. This guy doing research. Guess that was on his bucket list. Before I go, I better know how dildos were invented. Either way, it's. They have to shut up. They have got to shut up about this or more dildos will fly and you'll become even. The more humorless you are about something somewhat funny, the more that funny thing's gonna start happening to you. You gotta shut up. Wnba. You just. They have. Every time if the media asks, you just go, ah, people can be jerks. I'm not here to talk about that. And squelch it. The more you go, I wanna talk about the dildo thing. Every troll in America goes, oh, right, Let me get my AI together. Let me put a green dildo mic flag up here. And one of the more famous tossings for the NFL with the Buffalo Bills game. Oh, it's great. What happened after that? Nobody talked about it and didn't happen again. But it's that moment if when a principal goes up to the school, paper airplanes flying through the air is not funny. It's immediate. Don't do that. Don't shout out what you think isn't funny. Because then it becomes super funny to funny people. Unfunny people. People will go out and try to protect. Don't worry, ladies. I'll protect you. I'll go out and tell everybody. It's the sexualization of women. Have you seen the Minnesota Links? Nothing about that's being sexualized by anyone. You are the butt of the joke, and it's because you keep doing dumb stuff like this. Now knock it off. The sexualization of women. Leroy Halliday. That's the email I just got. Leroy, welcome to the show. I don't think I've ever seen you before. The irony of a lesbian calling out others for sexualizing women. I don't even know what that means, but I think he's right. That's right. That's hilarious. And speaking of the dildo situation in the W, we in the W got this email yesterday. Larry got it, too. Oh, no. The W logo has been changed. Instead of a hook shot with a basketball, now the. Now the silhouette is a dildo. It's never ending funny. Oh, there was a crypto group that said that they were the ones who orchestrated orchestrated the dildo tosses the WNBA games. A cryptocurrency enthusiast told ESPN that he's part of a group that orchestrated the recent sex toy stunts that have disrupted three WNBA games in past 10 days. He spoke on the condition of anonymity. He didn't want to be known as the Dildo Deep Throat. He said the stunts were meant to market crypto coins in his online community. Created wall and throw golden palace on there. Whatever, genius. He has nothing to do with this. He just said that he's taking credit for it so he can have the news go, oh, this crypto company did who? It's a crypto company called blah blah, blah, blah blah. And so he's getting his name in the paper and it's like, yeah, that's us. More or less an opportunistic approach. You know, already had the controversy, so we thought maybe we should intercept some of that attention. The man who uses his name is Lt. Daldo Rain and his username on X. He said it's a tribute to the Inglorious Bastards character by Brad Pitt. That's his. I don't even Dall Doraine. What's his name? Dell Devin Delta. Either way, a couple people have done it. The crypto companies taking credit. I got this email. This was hilarious. Larry got us. Larry got a phone call or something. Same lady said I got in my car with my husband and my 8 year old son. 6am My husband starts the car and the first thing we hear is dildo, dildo, dildo. My husband tried to explain it away as just what these guys do. Meaning us. Uh, well, not as long as I'm around. Oh, here we go. You will be hearing from me and my mother's group and several of your advertisers will know exactly what's happening. And I won't rest until you're reprimanded or fired. This is against the decency of humanity. That's a stretch. Come on. There was an 8 year old in the car and I had to explain to him what a dildo is at 6am I guess this show of wannabe Stearns. Here we go again. Doing their best to get their slice of the filth pie. Band name. Band name. I'll be contacting your owners and management at. Well as well. Signed Brianne. Okay, well, dildos have been around for 30,000 years by the way. You know, don't forget to fire off a few emails to the news. They're talking about it as well. Yeah, but they don't say dildo. Do you like when they showed that dead baby pool that they just killed pulled a kid out of. Did you like that part? That's fun. Tell your son about that. Yeah, tell your son about how come the helicopter circling the house of a dead baby pool. If you're if what's against humanity, dildozer shouldn't be a concern. And by the way, not my fault your 8 year old heard it. It's your husband. Boop. Hit the button. And there's buttons all over there. As far as the wannabe Stern thing, we've been over this. I don't need this bitch up my ass the entire time. I just lost my job. And don't they understand? Red Robin? We're not even gonna have jobs a little bit. You know what she needs more than anything? Listen to me, Brattle Juice. This is what this is. Look, hear me out here. This is what this lady needs. She needs a bigger dildo of her own. You know that's what she needs. She's upset that she doesn't have a good enough size dildo on her husband's body or in her drawer that she can. That she can do this stuff. She needs to. You're so sexually repressed, lady. I don't even understand why you'd bother us with this. Am I wrong? Red Robin? Yep. Yep. Baba. Bastard. He said it. I heard. He's in the other room. He's doing whatever it is. He's probably playing with a dildo. Lady. Brianna, whatever your name is. You fire over these emails and all I think to myself is you haven't been pleased by a man properly in a long time. And that's something you probably need to rectify with ironically, a dildo. Will someone throw one at her? Anyway, I get all fired up about these things. Wannabe Stern is a very upset man. You don't wanna mess with me. Bretelchuse. I'll throw dildos at. And you know what? She should catch it with her mouth. In fact, lay down and open your legs. We'll throw em at you. We'll give prizes away for the first person that sticks one and finally pleases this broad and your eight year old in the car listening to this stuff. Think of it like a tool that you like. Look, I'm like a dildo myself. I'm a learning tool. You tell your kid what's going on and then you turn the station off. Your husband seemed to be enjoying it because he's been married to a dildo for the last 20 years. You got an eight year old kid. Turn the radio down for a second. Turn the news off if that bothers you. He can't even watch WNBA games. They're too sexually graphic. Am I wrong? Red Robin? Yum. Brittle juice Bubba. Bastard. Not that time. He didn't. He didn't respond. Give her a dildo if you know this guy like guy, the husband that's listening. Mr. Brianne, will you please go to the store? Will you please for God's sakes, get down Dukes. Do some oral on your wife and calm her down a little bit. And we've had it with these emails and these ladies, these frigid, dried up women. Get some WD40 in a crowbar and get in there. At Native Grill and Wings, we bring the big flavors to match the big moments. Our fresh never frozen wings come in over 20 bold flavors served up hot and ready for every game winning play. Football is back. Kick back with an ice cold beer or a handcrafted cocktail and Catch all the action at Native Grill and wings. Wings need to feed the fam. Get two large pepperoni or cheese pizzas for just 20 bucks. It's a whole lot of flavor for one unbeatable price. Cold drinks, great food, even better deals. Visit native grillinwings.com to find the restaurant nearest you. It's John Holberg and Brett Vesely from the morning sickness coming at you. For our pals at Action Ride Shop, it's summertime. But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the outdoors here in Arizona. You just have to be smart about it. That's a fact, Bert. Action Ride Shop is step one in the smart department. They've got awesome deals on all their e bikes right now. They also have specials on their mountain bikes and neighborhood commuters. And just because it's hot out doesn't mean you can't grab a light and ride the glorious Arizona trails with an awesome setup from outbound lighting and night Rider gets Action Ride Shop on the 60 and Gilbert or their new location on McDowell and Power. Actionrideshop.com It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug hopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this, though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd have just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house, cash. As is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you gotta do is start the process online@doughopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1-800-channel now Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Pry her open like an old cable box trapped in the car. They can't get away from you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she can't look, look, Brett Robin, your voice changes this weird sort of. Anyway, Red Robin had cancer. That's true. If you're following right in the footsteps of we're so wannabe. Stern, the co host got cancer, too. Anyway, you know, if her husband was doing his job, she wouldn't have time to sit and pound down on the email. She'd still be shaking. It would just be a bunch of thank yous. Jason emails and he says, tell that Brenda shut that filth Pie that's between her legs and her filth pie on her face. Shut the hell up. Totally agree. Tell that broad Brianna she's gonna get five across the mouth next time Brett sees her. F her. I don't want Brett to hit me. Breteljuice, don't hit the listeners, please. I mean, you know, threaten, but don't hit. Maybe if you see her and she's like, yeah, the dildo guy, just raise your arm up and let her know you mean business. But don't actually follow through and don't let her know I said that. Like, you know, make it. Make her feel it. Tommy says, should have told her son, it's what mommy has to use. Since daddy hasn't touched the filth pie in a while, that's probably a good idea. Don't email me that something's pissed you off and throw in the word filth pie. Come on, honey. Brace yourself. I'm going into the filth pie. Tony, go ahead and call all of my advertisers. Start with Doug Hopkins because he's gonna love hearing this. Do you know he talks about dildos? What's wrong with you? Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm sorry, lady. I thought you were kidding around. What's that? He wants to be part of the filth pie. We serve that at the Hub. Filth pie on special at the Hub. Now over at the Moose, too, you can get a filth piece. Doug Hopkins filth pie. We call it 1-800-filth-pie. Change the number. Call Doug Hopkins now. That poor bastard is sitting in his car right now listening to your show the way he does every day, thinking to himself, good God, I married a crazy bitch and she just did it. You're right, Mike and wannabe Howard Stern will be on the air even though the real Howard is out. Shane said, dildo's the worst thing that this broad has heard on this show. I know. Jesus Christ. Stick around for an hour, then you can write a real letter. Kyle cuts right to the chase. Brienne is a C word. Take a Midol and shut up. Brienne, your son was gonna figure out what a dildo was someday. Lord knows he's gonna go through your drawer and find a whole bunch of them like silverware laying around the house. Hopefully your son doesn't go through the drawer and then go to a WNBA game. Cause you got a few to spare. But they're not big enough as she wouldn't be emailing somebody. Satisfied? Brianne. It's her husband's fault. Michael says this. It's her husband's fault. I would always turn the volume down if I had one of my kids in the car while your wonderful show was on. And Andres. I know Alan Alden and Howard Stern are the same. One's just angry and the other one loves women. I'll be watching in the shower when Margaret's in there. Very close. All that broad needed to do was change the station. It's probably difficult with her big sausage sized fingers, though. I'll tell you, I disagree. If she had sausage fingers, she'd be more pleased. I'm laughing at the fact that all the Brienne's heading into work today. God damn it. I swear to God it wasn't me. If you know a Brienne, treat her like Ryan. Brian. Go up to invested and go, was that you, bitch? I won't. What did she say in the thing? She won't. Not as long as I'm around. She says, well, we can arrange that too. Brett Bettle juice will take care of that while you're around saying, next thing you know, we've made everybody happy, especially her husband because he's single now. I'm not condoning the death of this woman. I wouldn't frown or cry about it, but if it. I'm not. We're irresponsible people, but we're not that bad anyway. Brianne, turn the radio off. Can I get the email? Tyrus is right. He says, not Tyrus from Gutfeld. Tyrus from our show says, oh, my God, you got to ask her husband to email you guys so we can get their his opinion and their home address and then send her a little package in the mail. So when she opens it, that big black dildos in there and just says, from wannabe Howard Stern and crew. Tell you what, Hubbard Broadcasting will give you one free dildo. All you have to do is just go get like. We'll have one of our executives drop it off. I volunteer them to give you a charitable dildo. That's what happens. Rennie, just go. Someone else will do it as a punishment to me. They'll now give you a dildo. If you're upset, Brianne, come down and collect it today. Brett will be waiting outside. You say, I want to talk to wannabe Howard Stern's bread algers who'd be outside with your dildo. And then he'll, you know, like a good salesman. He'll show you how it works. You know, like when you get a car and they teach you all the stuff before you drive off the lot. Brett will get you in there and it'll teach you how to work this thing. In other words, he's gonna use the dildo on you. It's not the worst thing. You can see, I never understand that. We make jokes about a dildo and somebody gets upset and then she'll turn on the news, they'll do the exact same story. As long as they're not joking. She's okay with her kids seeing that. And again, I've always said, if you're going to complain about anything we do on this show, call channel 12, channel 3, channel 5, channel 10, channel 15 and say, stop flying helicopters over dead baby pools, please. That's the most graphic and disgusting thing you can do. Oh, by the way, I don't need footage of the most recent automobile accident where people died. I just don't need to see it. It's salacious and disgusting. You think what we're doing is bad? At least we're kidding. They're out there shoving cameras in the faces of people who just had someone die and asking them how they feel because you know why? We eat it up. So if dildos are bad, dead baby pool helicopters are worse, I think. But I guess it's all relative. I guess she gets off on dead baby pool helicopters and hate sex. I'm the other way. I think dildos can be fun. I think dead baby helicopters are always bad. I don't think I've ever seen the dead baby helicopter and gone. Great job. Great job with a dead baby helicopter. Do you realize there's newsrooms in this city where they listen to police blotters and the radios and they're like, got a baby drowning call out there and surprise. And the news goes, fire up the helicopter. We got an address. We're gonna be the first one on this. Maybe we can get there where the paramedics are doing life saving CPR and an infant. Wouldn't that be great? It's back in the day like the original Die Hard. I need a van. Yeah, we, I need to gas it up. I, I don't think that coming after the joke patrol is a smarter move than going over to the newsroom and the programmers of news and saying, stop flying helicopters over dead baby pools. They're the gross ones. We're not. We might make you uncomfortable a little bit. We've never once knocked on the door of a dead baby pool and said, can we talk to anybody in here? That's pretty bad. Not the program to sit and listen with your 8 year old. Probably not. And the news is there's plenty of stuff. Your 8 year old should be. Your 8 year old should be shielded from lots of stuff. He's not ready for anything yet. That's your job. But both of those items it talked about. Oh yeah, Dildos and dead baby pools. I could explain that to the kid to sir, it's. You don't need to go into huge detail on that. Yeah, something that she kept saying 6am like when is the appropriate time for an 8 year old to hear about dildos? Give him breakfast at least. I mean he hasn't even had his. He hasn't even had his Granimal snacks. What happened to adults? Like when Alex and Chris used to ask us what we were drinking, Lisa and I. It's an adult thing. Don't worry about it. Yeah, just say that. Well, one of the answers you had was your mommy's boyfriend's. Sorry about that, baba. Bastard. You made the joke for me. Okay, thanks. Yeah, I don't know. The adults used to be able to go to none of your business or it's adult drinks. Coffee used to be a thing. As for adults only, I would like reach for now adults drink coffee. Now everybody can have coffee. What compels her to have to explain everything to her friggin right year old once it's a dildo. Oh my God. Well, it's when your mom. When your dad doesn't give it to your mom properly and he goes to work, she usually just drives one up in there. Oh, thanks Mom. What if she pulled one out of her purse and. Well, this one is electric and that's what it is. Thanks, Mom. I'm never gonna be the same. Well, it's that stupid radio show's fault, honey. Look, a dead baby pool helicopter. Let's chase it. Kyle thinks dead baby pool helicopter is a good band name. I disagree. I don't think that's. It's too long. I've seen it be an album title. They have to. They have to clear the air so they don't crash into each other when there's a dead baby pool. They have to go. All right, 10. We're going to be flying about 400ft. You get the 600 foot. They have to stay out of each other's way. That because the sky's lousy with dead baby helicopters. Can't wait to see a paramedic running in the backyard. There's something that's gross. Make your complaints about that and then get in your room and work that dildo like there's no tomorrow and relax the filth pie. Anyway, thanks, Brianne. You don't realize, just like the coach of the Minnesota Links, when you go out of your way to tell everybody. I didn't like that. That wasn't funny. You just make 10 minutes of our show easier to do, that's all. Simple stuff. S morning sickness medicate. Kupd. Hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns. Brett, I sure do. It's M and P Guns Customs. MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own. Well, can you do this to my gun? We can new it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live. You can ship it to us or. We already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no we. Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at MMP GunsCustoms.com all right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Eastside and Tempe at the Improv. Catch the always hilarious Carlos Mencia. Funny Marco will be performing his sets downtown at Stand Up Live and at the Desert Ridge Improv. You've got the one and only Annie Letterman entertaining you all week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holmberg here for turfmonstersaz.com if that yard of yours doesn't look great all of the time, if it is work all of the time, it does not have to be. Turf Monsters can come to your house and make your yard a beautiful showcase place for you, your family, your pets. Yeah, it's pet friendly as well. Anything you can dream up in that backyard, they can do. Tell them Homeberg sent you. Get 10% off turf monsters az.com Homeberg's morning sickness. This guy says, john, you know how your epidemic is. Epidermis is your largest organ. Well, between your nose and your balls, you might be the Guinness Book world record holder. It's your skin. He's saying that I've got a lot of skin. There's a. There's a chance. I still don't think. I'm like, shaq's got more skin than me. I'm still. If I was 7ft tall with these balls and this nose I would. I would definitely check it. He says, we moved to Arizona in 2010 and listened to country music. Back then we were dumb as got turned on to your show, moved back to South Dakota. He's a Sodak. Still a huge fan. I tell all my friends to listen. At least the ones with senses of humor can't get enough. I'm a huge Brett fan. Oh, thanks. So you're still sort of dumb as a little bit. And then it says, hate Ohio, but I love Brady and Toledo's there. I listen to the podcast, try to keep up with one guy who shares the same views as me, which, if I have a right, is one. If it's funny, I'm in two. I don't care about your views. I'll make fun of them either way. And three, people suck. Anyway, love the show. Keep it up. Thanks for Micah Minka. It's Minka Fitzpatrick. He's a Dolphins fan. I see what he's doing. Ryan Grant's. Thank you, Ryan. It's nice. You're right in Orion. That's a good question. Well, it says Ryan and his email says Brian, so I'm not sure if he's willing to tell anybody. And after Brady's diagnosis yesterday, well, announcement of his diagnose diagnosis. Sean Rockefeller, a blind listener, says, the announcement of Brady's diagnosis made me nervous. I've had some kidney stones in the past, kidney infections. So I immediately went to the doctor just to get checked out. And the doctor asked me a strange question because he found some kidney stones. He said, you haven't been using expired barbecue sauce, have you? I'm like, oh, my God. Is that what causes Brady's problems? The expired bbq? You're not allowed to have that anymore. Don't look at me. That. No, you're not. I don't have anymore. I'm not talking about that. All barbecue sauce. Oh, okay. Sugary, no sweet. Baby rays, phosphor race or whatever that stuff is. No sweet beer. Done. No, no. Yeah, you can have that all you want. Although that's a little too heavy on the protein. Masterpiece. You can have some of Toledo's that's protein free. It's got a lot of estrogen in it. Anyway, just wanted to clear the air on all. I also heard a commercial this morning. You want to talk about wasting money and time and Brett, look this up when I talk about it, all right? I heard a PSA on the talk radio stations where they said speeding. Have you heard this one about speeding? They say speeding doesn't get you anywhere faster. In fact, it puts everyone in the car at risk and everyone on the road at risk. If you're thinking about speeding to work, don't look into it. Go to slowdownaz.com we have an entire website dedicated to people who are hemming and hawing over whether they should speed. And they're gonna let the Internet tell them that it's. Who put this together? It'll convert them. Who's that? Indecisive. The language. I was thinking about speeding. But that website, we don't need that website. Katie Hobbs can eliminate that immediately. Speed. Slowdownaz.com Speedupaz.com let's get everybody on the same page. Our whole goal is to get there. We don't leisurely stroll along. But if you're, if you're like, I was speeding around. I was speeding all over. And then a PSA came on and told me to go to a website and told me not to. I think speeders know the inherent danger of driving and if you drive a little faster, the crash is a little worse. Yeah. Like the guy that was on the Autobahn and got to ticket this week. 199 mph pretty good. 124 over the speed limit. But he wasn't on the Autobahn. He was. I didn't think they had speeding tickets on the Autobahn. They do. Well, how is he over the speed limit on a thing with no speed limit? Well, it's 75. They, they don't traditionally they don't pull you over the, you know, the left lane choice though. It's the anything goes. Like they said, under 99 is a little. Are you sure you read that right? That he was treating it like the Autobahn? No, he was on the Autobahn. Yeah. I've been on the Autobond. Yeah. They don't really pull you over like you're going 100 or so. You're allowed to go as fast as you want to see the police. But that's the fun of the Autobahn is that you're not supposed. You don't get pulled over. Evidently. Nine hundred and fifty dollar ticket. I'm thinking you read that wrong. He must have done something really wacky on what wasn't the Autobahn thinking he was on the Autobot? Because the Autobahn is like, I have friends who are like, we went like 155 in this portion. They post a speed limit on the Autobot when you're on it, but no one maybe just for like the right lane. The rest of it, it's definitely supposed to be over. Yeah. The thing is, you get a ticket if you're in the left lane and you're not going faster than the right. No, he's actually right. There are many sections that do have a speed limit. Yeah. I knew there's. There's spots that do and the spots that don't. Is a free for all. So he must have been going through one of those. If there's a speed limit, you're going 199. You're gonna. Well, if there's a speed limit sign that you're not on the part that doesn't have a speed limit. Yeah. So he wasn't on the good autobahn. He was on the part where they're like, look, it's monitor. Usually when you get closer to the city limit. Because what a pain in the ass it would be for the cop to sit there and go, the autobahn has no speed limit. I'm gonna go monitor that today and write some tickets. How do you know what to write a ticket for? So you have to be on the speed limit parts. Because I know that's true too. Like there's a sign that says it's open for business and people take off and it's like four miles and then it slows down again. I would never. I have no desire to ever be. Do you want to. You probably do your car. I never, ever, ever cared to be. That's pretty cool. There's. There's a couple of spots. You got to trust other people. Italy or France, whatever, where the fog comes in and they try to warn you on that. Yeah. There. And it's like every three months there's usually a death, but you don't hear. I mean, other than the fog. You don't hear a lot of deaths on the Autobahn. No. You know, it's because everybody's on the same page. We're all gonna fly and we'll stay out of each other's way. Yeah. Yeah. Speed limit is what? Yeah. Keep the left lane as fast. Yeah. 70% of the Autobahn has no speed limit. Unrestricted sections recommended. 81 miles an hour. It's recommended, but it's not punished. Third of the Autobahn system has speed limits. Typically in the urban areas or construction zones. Another sixth of network. That's just too much to figure out. How do you know where you are? It's got to have like giant signs and you're going 199. 199 is fast. You're going to hit. Hit one of those zones Pretty quick. By the way, a co worker of Brianne just emailed in and said it's. Actually, we just found out yesterday. It's Rhian. There's no B. She just didn't have the courage to talk. He's Brianne. And Rhianne, she had something from her work right to email. Filth pie. She came up with filth pie. Thank you for that, Brianne. That's all we'll remember from this. And your sheltered little boy who now's telling, you know what your kid did, too. He didn't take your advice. Your dad. His dad sounds cool. But I bet you that kid went right into the second grade and goes, do you guys know what a dildo is? Because my mom told me this morning. Come over here, Braden. What are you talking about? Yeah, my mom heard the word dildo and explained it to me in the car. CPS has got to show up to Brienne's house. It's gonna be great. Explain it proper. That's a term for someone that's dumb. Then he goes to school and it's like, you, dildo. You're a dildo. It's what daddies call women who are misbehaving. Oh, my teacher does that sometimes. Say, Mrs. Dildo. I hope it's Baby Brett. Oh. In 2023, by the way, 302 people died in traffic accidents on the Autobahn. That's a lot. Yeah, but how many in a small percentage of the total road traffic fatalities in Germany? So Autobahn actually has a relatively good safety record considering the lack of speed limits on many sections. Well, just. It's. Idiots. That's why I don't ever want to go on the Autobahn. I would never trust everyone else to be on board with my 140. Have you ever gone 120 miles an hour in a car on a highway? Yeah, I pushed it once with that little Nissan I had. And I tried to match the temperature and. And cruise control, the temperature all the way to San Diego once. And it was 112. They got to be 114. And I bump it up a little bit. Man, you. There's no evasive maneuvering. You better keep it straight. Because anything that goes in the road that you have to move right or left, you're going for a long. You're dying, you're not going to make it out. Because if I were to move right or left just a couple inches, that thing's spinning up. God forbid you try to hit your brakes. You're gonna fishtail it like it's it's a. That speed is scary. And I realized I'm not built for speed. I'm just not. I will do it on a racetrack with a. The, you know, the, the turns are banked. Yeah, but on the, on the eight. What was I thinking? It's crazy. It's not much different the autobahn from when you're on the, the freeway that has five lanes in it. It. Well actually feel pretty. You. Because between. Pretty safe. On 2011 and 2015, there were 123 fatalities on the 146 mile stretch between Flagstaff and Phoenix. There were 302 on the Autobahn in one year. This is five years and there were 123. And that's that two lane. Yeah, right. But think about 302 to 123 over five years and 302 and one year. You can call it a. Like I said, there's some death zones that they talk about. They're like, it's like every other. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing the Autobahn. Yeah, 17 is. That's much safer than the autobahn. Wildly to the west side. No. Oh, that's true. Well, no, they didn't count being shot. All right. Okay. There were 4,621 shootings of passers by on the 17th. That doesn't count. Not all of them died. Oh, all right. All right. And a lot of them actually just took the bullet and went to work. Well, work. I say work. They weren't going to work. They're going to their. They're getting their checks at that DES place. Sorry, west side. But that's what we think of the 17. The most dangerous segment within Phoenix city limits on the 17 is from Bell Road to Greenway Road and from Happy Valley to Loop 303. That's up where you're just tired of being. Wherever you're at, you got that Grand Avenue cutting through to mess. So. But go to. Go to slowdownaz.com if you're considering speeding. Well, what if I'm driving and I hear that. I heard it in the car this morning driving and I was speeding. I'm like, should I go to my website now and also be completely distracted while I think about speeding? Hey Byron, I was looking@mmpguns.com's website. You have everything and the prices are incredible. Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys and more. The best part is if you see it on our website. It's in stock and ready to ship. Wait, there's no backorders? Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up. Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP. Guns.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. 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Morning Sickness listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com Holmberg that's BetterHelp H-E-L-P.com Holmberg why choose a Sleep Number Smart bed Can I make my site softer? Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler? Sleep Number does that cools up to eight times faster and lets you choose your ideal comfort on either side. Your Sleep Number setting. Get early Access to sleep number's biggest sale of the year 25% off the i8 bed, our most popular plus free home delivery limited time All Sleep Number Smart beds offer temperature solutions for your best sleep. Check it out at a Sleep number store or sleepnumber.com today. Holmberg's morning sickness that's not a thing. Nobody's going to that website. Boy really got talked out of speeding. Megan May. She never had a threat of it. Don't worry about it. She'd listen to that and go, that's right. In fact, everyone should go 21 miles an hour under the speed limit. They talk too fast. Oh, for Christ's sake. I think that driving 12 is plenty. I don't know what the rush is. You know, I'm glad you're not Brady's ambulance driver. Loose sheets be flat. She don't know how she gets Parkinson's. Flat lock behind the wheel, she gets Parkinson's. I'm telling you, it's the weirdest thing you've ever seen. I'll film it next time. No, I won't, because I won't be in the passenger seat ever again with her ever again in my lifetime. Hands at 10 and 2. And then that head starts going bobbly, bobbly. And I don't know why that happens while she's driving, her head. Michael J. Fox. Yeah. Her head starts shaking. And I filmed it, and I'm like, what the is going on with your head? I don't know, but would you please put that camera down? You're making me nervous. You're making me nervous. Look, a rickshaw just passed us. No, I drive safe. Never been in an accident. Yes, you have. You hit our mailbox twice. And the guy at the well, he didn't go, right? He was in front of you. He didn't go. That means you don't go, dummy. Just because he should have gone doesn't mean you can. That doesn't count. What about the biker that you hit over there on Thomas? He popped out of nowhere. You know the happiest guy in the world is Megan's Speeds is that biker she hit a few years ago. Because there's no damage done. The car, Nothing. I mean, she's going one. Whoa. I get a call. I just ran over a man on a motorcycle or on a bicycle. Oh, God. He came out of nowhere. The cops say it happens all the time in this intersection. Okay. Is he okay? Yeah. Is the car okay? Yeah. Nothing happened. How fast you're going? 4. Oh. What did you call me for? I quit what I was doing. I thought you killed a guy. I was going the speed limit. Four. Yes. School zone. Should just get out and push the car. Come on, kids. Help me through the school zone. The kids are like, what is this doing, Stone? Her feet go through the floor. She'd go faster in Fred's car. There's no reason for that. What? Getting there. I guess you're right. It's ironic because she's always late getting ready, and then I've got to speed to wherever we're going. She bitches the whole time. You drive like a madman. Well, if we'd have left three hours ago like we were supposed to. I hate riding with you look. I'm going 58. Oh, it's insane. Have we broken the speed barrier yet? I can't hear you. Yeah, we broke the speed barrier at 49. Once you get over 50, your hair falls off. That's why you're bombed. Okay. Like Michael Phelps passed me today. Is that right? Yeah, he was in the canal actually swimming by us. Didn't even need the water. Just crawling around on the ground. Blue buyer, honked. Move. That's not my problem. It's just insanity. So. Yeah, don't bring that up. She's. Yeah, she probably is the webmaster of slowdownaz.com I can't imagine if she'd go to like a city council meeting, get speed limits dropped down to like five or ten miles an hour. Yeah, we can't get killed in an accident going five. That's true. If everybody went five, I'm sure the demeanor of most of society would be awesome. I'm sure. Remember those pictures before cars when everybody went. Went five or walked everywhere. You never saw a single human being that looked happy in pictures before we could speed. Every photograph of your grandparents is a pissed off. It's gonna take them forever to go anywhere they need to go. It's gonna take hours. Then we invented speed. Damn right. Anyway, slowdown AZ.com if you're thinking about speeding, the state has a website they've put together to talk you out of it. Brianna's on it right now. Now with hopefully some wet fingers, if you know what I'm saying. She just pleased herself. Calm down. I hope I get an email back from her going, you know what, you're right. I went to Fascinations. I got myself a two footer and I don't know what I'm so mad about. Everything's great. King Dong took care of King Dong. King Dong. Brianna's King Dong. That should fix everything. Brad, what do you got on the big board of musical treats? Wake up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And you know where to go for your bike needs. Action Ride Shop. It doesn't matter if you want to hit the trails. You want to ride the canals or ride the streets. What do you got? BMX? Well, I just found out if you misspell slowdownaz.com and add an S slowdownsaz.com Chris Burke from Life Goes on comes on and talks to you about mentally retarded people. Welcome to slowdownsaz.com. it's the official fan page of Chris Burke, the 50 Plus. Yeah, he's in a 55 plus, community of mentally challenged people. Welcome to Slow Downs. Wow. Beautiful manicured lines of jelly beans. Sorry, Brett. Go ahead. Actionrightshop.com. you know. All right, regroup. Get it together. On the list. Weird Al. I'm fat. For Brianna. Wow. Angry again for Megadeth. For Brianna. Yeah. My balls. From snot. From Brianna. Violent pornography goes the hives. Countdown to shut down for Brady. That's it. There it is. That's Brady's theme on his diagnosis announcement yesterday. Countdown to shutdown has to play. Do you have it? Toledo have it. Countdown. You should have it. But they're coming to town here. No, no. Gotta travel. Where are they going? LA, LA. Denver. I know they're in Sacramento because I was gonna head up there. But I'm not gonna make it that weekend. All right. We'll do a little countdown to shutdown for Brady. You feel good today? Yeah. No more salty snacks. We're gonna monitor this. And when we do our snack rebuild here. Yeah, in our little office, I think I'm the next one to buy, too. What do I gotta buy? No salty snacks. What do you buy then? Heads of lettuce. Oh, Christ. That's all we snack on. Thanks, Brady. Yeah, thanks a lot, Brady. Way to wreck it for us. Keep doing what you're doing. No, do not keep doing what you're doing. He'll blow. Imagine if he comes in here with that moon face from all the salt and prednisone he's gonna be taking. It'll just be hilarious constantly. I don't want him to get it. He's got a. Monitor his salt intake. He's got one barely functioning kidney left. I'm gonna inquire about that moon face. You're getting moon face. I'm gonna hit moon face. We're not doing the operation. No, you're gonna protect this beautiful thing you've been walking with. Now, don't worry about it. That's what I'm saying. You've been going after moon face for years. It moons up. Remember when Jerry went down to about a 7? Remember when Jerry Lewis had. Yeah, you're gonna go from 10 to 7, Dale. I mean, Brady. Jerry Lewis. Remember when that one telethoni came out? He had kidney issues. They gave him all that prednisone. He swells. He swell up. It adds a ton of water. And then if you eat salt, they'll do it. Keep an eye on that stuff. You should be doing the research on this, not me. That's not. No, that's the allergies. That's different one. Google moon face. All right. A kidney issue. Moon face. There was a girl in school, in high school that had her kidney. She had to go on to dialysis, and it. Moon faces you a little bit. Going to look like Schumer. Yeah. You're going to turn to Amy Schumer. It's not worth a break. Just keep. You know what it's best you just check out. Nobody wants to look like Schumer. But, yeah, Moon face is from cord of steroids. Oh, that's not funny. Somebody put a Korean on there, and he's not even sick. Don't do that to them. Yeah. And your body can blow up. Do Jerry Lewis. Moon face. That's the real scary one, because that dude evidently just abused the hell out of whatever steroid he was on. Remember that? I thought it was, like, from his drinking. No livers. No. Look at that. That one right there, that'll be you. He moon faced up because he was on all those corticosteroids from his kidney issues. And it goes away, but if you eat salt and stuff, you make it worse. So we got to keep an eye on you. You're going to go bouncing off on the air telling everybody you got this. Now you got to be bullied into behaving properly. No bullying. More bullying where? If I see you eating those powdery crap snacks with the French onion powder on top of harvest oats crackers, you're out. Just bat them right out of your hand. And there's a picture of Jerry Lewis's grave. And I think that says it all. From moon face to the grave, Brady and beyond. You, me, that wife of yours, we all yesterday listened to you lie to yourself right here on the air about how you don't have to change a thing. And do you go in your hand right now to try to back it up? We're worried about you, but you're going to be okay. And then afterwards, Brett, we're keeping an eye on your dad. Had his kidney taken, Right? It was a cancer, though. Yeah. Totally functioning kidneys afterwards, probably no dialysis. And not a lot of. No, because his other ones functioning. Not 100, but like 70 or 80. Totally. Yeah. He's fine. Yeah. Yeah. So he never had to go on. He didn't get moon face. Nope. Didn't even need the transfer plan. No. Just ripped it. Yeah, they're good. We're worried about Braden. We're going to keep an eye on him. Don't you worry. Phoenix. Don't you worry. No, I've got you you're terrible at this. We'll take care of him. He's in good hands. Firm, strong, calloused hands, nightly back rubs from Brett. That's happening. It's countdown to shut down. We don't know what's going to happen. It's the hives everybody. It's 98. It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough. We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns? The choice is simple. Brett M and P Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact, right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. 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