08-12-25 - BR - TUE - New App Allows Couples To Sell Tix To Their Wedding - Adult Pacifiers Are A New Trend - 2 Stories w/Italian Names Involving A Crossbow And Attempted Murder

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: August 12, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Release Date: August 12, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, John Holmberg, along with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, delves into a variety of engaging and provocative topics. The episode covers the emergence of a new app that allows couples to sell tickets to their weddings, the rising trend of adult pacifiers, and two gripping stories involving Italian individuals linked to crossbows and attempted murder. The hosts blend humor, critical discussion, and listener interaction to entertain and inform their audience.

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1. Family Estrangement and Middle Child Day [04:40 - 07:35]

Discussion Highlights:

• Middle Child Day: The hosts explore the concept of Middle Child Day, a day dedicated to acknowledging the unique challenges faced by middle children in families.
• Family Estrangement: John Holmberg and Brady Bogen discuss the increasing rates of familial estrangement, emphasizing that 24% of Americans are estranged from at least one sibling.

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen: “A poll found that 24% of Americans are estranged from at least one sibling.”
• John Holmberg: “If family is somebody you wouldn't hang out with if they weren't family, why do you keep doing it?”

Insights:

• The conversation underscores the emotional complexities of family relationships and challenges societal norms that pressure individuals to maintain connections regardless of personal well-being.
• The hosts advocate for setting healthy boundaries, even within family structures, to preserve mental health.

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2. Origins of "Nazi" and "Nacho" [09:09 - 09:55]

Discussion Highlights:

• Etymology: The hosts delve into the linguistic roots of the words "Nazi" and "Nacho," tracing them back to the Latin name "Ignatius."
• Cultural Evolution: They discuss how "Ignatius" evolved into different forms in German and Mexican contexts, leading to the modern terms.

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen: “The words Nazi and Nacho both come from the same Latin word. Ignatius.”
• John Holmberg: “Nacho. He was awesome. Ignacio. It's a great name.”

Insights:

• The segment provides an educational exploration of language evolution, illustrating how names can transform culturally and linguistically over time.
• It highlights the often unexpected connections between seemingly unrelated terms.

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3. New Wedding Ticket Selling App [09:55 - 12:11]

Discussion Highlights:

• App Introduction: The hosts introduce a new European app that allows couples to sell tickets to their weddings, aiming to reduce the average wedding cost of $33,000.
• Critical Reception: John Holmberg expresses strong criticism of the concept, questioning the practicality and social implications of selling wedding tickets to strangers.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: “What’s wrong with people? Nobody wants to go to those anyway.”
• Brady Bogen: “It's not for invited guests, family, and friends. They offer it to strangers.”

Insights:

• The discussion touches on societal pressures surrounding weddings and the commercialization of personal events.
• The hosts argue that selling tickets to strangers undermines the intimate and personal nature of weddings, portraying the app as a misguided solution to high wedding costs.

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4. Adult Pacifiers Trend [14:16 - 15:07]

Discussion Highlights:

• Trend Examination: The segment explores the emerging trend of adults using pacifiers, originating from China and spreading globally.
• Health Concerns: The hosts discuss potential health implications, including dental issues like buck teeth, and the psychological aspects of oral fixations.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: “I have veneers. I can’t. So I could use it all day.”
• Brady Bogen: “As an adult and you're sucking on a pacifier, you've got an oral fixation. You’re the most popular girl at the bar. You’re also crazy.”

Insights:

• The hosts critically analyze the trend, balancing between humorous takes and genuine concerns about the physical and mental health effects of adults using pacifiers.
• They highlight the social stigma and potential behavioral implications associated with this unusual trend.

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5. Stories Involving Italian Individuals and Violent Incidents [15:39 - 18:44]

a. Crossbow Incident in Italy [15:39 - 16:50]

Story Summary:

• An Italian man named Ignacio was found lying in his bed with a crossbow bolt piercing his head. Remarkably, he remained coherent for two days before seeking medical attention.

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen: “An identified Italian man living in Kona was found by a family member lying in his bed with a crossbow bolt through his head. He fired the old crossbow into his head.”
• John Holmberg: “I didn't know that. Is it new?”

Insights:

• The hosts express astonishment at the severity and unusual nature of the incident, discussing the physical and psychological factors that could lead someone to such a drastic action.

b. Tennessee Shooting Incident [17:15 - 18:44]

Story Summary:

• Decarlo Pitchford, a 51-year-old man in Tennessee, shot his wife after an altercation where he felt blocked from leaving the house. Despite the violence, he took his wife to the hospital, although he delayed aid by stopping for a beer.

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen: “He drove her to the hospital. And he took his time because he stopped for a beer on the way.”
• John Holmberg: “Cutting delays the seriousness of the situation. I love Italians. The more I hang out with Brady, the more I'm like, they're right.”

Insights:

• The narrative explores themes of domestic violence, responsibility, and the sometimes counterintuitive actions individuals take following violent incidents.
• The hosts dissect the psychological state and decision-making processes of the perpetrator, highlighting the complexities involved in such crimes.

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6. Additional Internet Stories and Viewer Submissions [21:00 - 31:36]

Discussion Highlights:

• Odd Videos: The hosts review and react to various bizarre internet videos, including a man in the Philippines catching a giant squid and a violent encounter involving a crossbow.
• Humor and Shock: These segments are characterized by a mix of humor, shock, and disbelief as the hosts navigate through the strange and often gruesome content.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: “You don't want to look at your beep. You won't miss the phone.”
• Brady Bogen: “That's a big mess for Haley Panthers. It just went all wrong.”

Insights:

• These segments serve as light-hearted interludes amidst the more serious discussions, showcasing the hosts' chemistry and ability to entertain while processing unusual content.
• They provide a window into the often chaotic and unpredictable nature of viral internet videos.

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7. Brady's EKG Appointment and Health Talk [33:00 - 37:46]

Discussion Highlights:

• Health Concerns: A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Brady Bogen's upcoming EKG appointment, with John Holmberg expressing skepticism about Brady’s health status and the necessity of his surgery.
• Personal Interaction: The hosts engage in a personal and somewhat contentious dialogue about Brady’s health decisions, medications, and lifestyle choices.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: “They’re making sure that your insides can handle getting knocked out without dropping dead from that.”
• Brady Bogen: “I need to know, will Brady be back tomorrow? This. Tell me this isn't the final Brady.”

Insights:

• This segment adds a personal and dramatic element to the show, highlighting the hosts' camaraderie and willingness to confront each other on sensitive topics.
• It underscores the show's dynamic nature, blending personal anecdotes with broader discussions.

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8. Conclusion and Final Remarks [38:27 - End]

Discussion Highlights:

• Comedy Events Promotion: The hosts promote upcoming comedy shows featuring Carlos Mencia, Funny Marco, and Annie Letterman at various venues in the Valley.
• Home Services Ads: Brief mentions of services like Patrick Riley Heating, Cooling, Plumbing, and Drains are included, promoting discounts and emergency services.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: “They make an offer for your house, cash. As is...”
• Brady Bogen: “Hot and stuck.”

Insights:

• The episode wraps up with a blend of advertisements and event promotions, maintaining the show's characteristic mix of content and sponsorships.
• The hosts maintain their engaging and lighthearted tone, ensuring listeners are left with information about upcoming local events and services.

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness effectively balances humor, critical discussion, and personal interaction to engage listeners. From dissecting societal trends like family estrangement and adult pacifiers to unraveling quirky etymological histories and recounting dramatic personal stories, the hosts deliver a comprehensive and entertaining broadcast. Notable for their candid conversations and dynamic chemistry, John Holmberg and his co-hosts ensure that listeners are both entertained and informed throughout the episode.

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Tune in or visit 98KUPD weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM to catch more episodes of Holmberg's Morning Sickness and stay updated with Arizona's favorite morning radio show.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

Touchdown deals are happening now at hooters starting at $10.99 per person. You can grab a Hooty's Pick 3 your choice of an appetizer, entree and a drink. Dig into crispy fried pickles, juicy wings or a cheeseburger and wash it all down with an ice cold fountain drink or upgrade to a cocktail or Buzzballs for just a few bucks more. Don't forget to pick your player with Big Daddy drafts of Michelob Ultra or Bud light for only $4 or DOS Equis for just five. Do Hooters has the food, drinks and game day vibes. Hooters, where the party always kicks off. It's Larry McFeely. Just had my annual Mission Beach San Diego vacation. Full of sand, sun and, yes, Toyota trucks. Mission beach lifeguards don't mess around. They roll with Toyota Tacomas, Tundras and four Runners as their official lifeguard vehicles. Why? Because they need serious capability, dependability and the power to protect the coast. And right now, it's the national sales event at your Valley Toyota dealers, which means it's the perfect time to grab a Toyota truck built for adventure. Whether you're hitting the beach or the Arizona Backroads, visit your Val Toyota dealer or valleytoyotadeealers.com Toyota Let's Go places.

[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homburg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com let's get Brady out of here. He's got a doctor's appointment and he's going to leave early today. But that doesn't mean he can't still give us all the news that we want from him. And don't forget Pantera looms. Car Game off. You're listening for it right there. You're listening for this as well, and we'll get you all settled in there. Game on you hear those two things Starting now at any time. 10th caller, 585-9-8800, is gonna get Pantera tickets coming up here in a few weeks and get qualified to be part of the security team for Pantera and get to march them right up on stage from the dressing room to the stage with the guys from Pantera. And then you're in the photography pit for. It's what a get. You get a bunch of security gear to prove you were that guy or girl. That chick we had there for the Guadalupe squares was so excited. I actually listened to the end of it again just to hear her emotion. It was amazing. Speaking of emotion, here he is, the most emotional man we've got right now. He's got a potentially. We'll find out what the. What, you're just getting an EKG to make sure they can knock you down? Yeah. Your blood pressure's okay. Your heart can handle it.

[Brady]

We'll find out.

[John Holmberg]

You're like, an old dog is about to get his teeth cleaned. Let's make sure we can knock down a blanket. And I'm like, well, not to euthanize you.

[Brady]

It's too shocked.

[John Holmberg]

What One in your hands. You're gonna. He's. He's resting. He's very comfortable right now. Is it Dr. Fixler? Yeah, we're having a Dr. Fixer's gonna come and do a little Happy Endings with Brady. No, but they always do. Like, Gordon is my old dog, and his teeth. He's little. His teeth get weird, and they're like, we could do a cleaning, but we've got to make sure he's a. Like, you can do it. That's what they're doing to you today.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They're making sure that your insides can handle it can handle getting knocked out without dropping dead from that. You feel pretty confident about that.

[Brady]

I think so.

[John Holmberg]

Me too. I think you're gonna make it. He's not. There's no way. There's no way he's passing this EKG test. The thing's gonna go off.

[Brady]

That'd be the worst.

[John Holmberg]

It's gonna go off like alarms at the airport when he gets in that thing. All pro Shade brings you this Brady report. You want some shade in your backyard, Your front yard, Somewhere in your house, Little awning, Something like, you got a little place you like to sit out back. You just want to make outdoor space a little more tolerable. That'll drop the temperature like 20 degrees in your backyard. You put that shade up and they're electric or they're Manual. If you got the electric ones, the wind starts whipping up, you got some weird stuff happening. They're just like, you know what? That's enough of that. And they'll suck themselves back in. Oh, if we could all suck ourselves back in, it would be a better world. All Pro Shade figured it out. And they can do it with your stuff. Add beauty to your home. Add value to your home. All Pro. Shade.com is where you go. Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brady]

Happy National Vinyl Record Day.

[John Holmberg]

John Gordon's gonna lose his mind.

[Brady]

Happy Middle Child Day. That's different than Record Store Day. Yes, it is. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That is a weird Record store day. Is just. They put out those weird releases and stuff like that. Like, that's when the DGS first came out, was like, Record Store Day. Yeah. But then vinyl record. Just appreciation of it. For all the nerds. It is dumb.

[Brady]

And Happy Middle Child Day. A poll found that 24% of Americans are estranged from at least one sibling.

[John Holmberg]

Good.

[Brady]

Many are willing to reconcile.

[John Holmberg]

Not me.

[Brady]

The top reason siblings are estranged are your sister's nuts. That's a personality conflicts, lies, or betrayal. And the person is just too manipulative.

[John Holmberg]

A whole lot of that going on.

[Brady]

And you checked off all three boxes there.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, the lies and betrayal thing isn't there. I'll say that. I don't think she's lying. She's just crazy. She's manipulative.

[Brady]

I guess you're right. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Betray you.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not a betrayal. It's just like, what the hell's going on? And you know what? You get to a certain. I've talked to people about this and everybody's like, but it's family. But if family is somebody you wouldn't hang out with if they weren't, why do you keep doing it? I don't understand that. But your family. Yeah, but if they. If they were my neighbors, I'd move. It's okay to not like someone in your family. And we got it. Like, if they're. If they're not good for your mental state of being, forcing yourself to be around them is not. I don't understand why people want to do. Doesn't make sense. If you've got someone in your family you don't like, and you're just like, I wouldn't.

[Brady]

Like, you have a son you don't really want.

[John Holmberg]

Right. If you have a son that like. And he just moved back from, I don't know, Tucson or something, and he's just sitting in your house, you're like, I don't want this. You should estrange yourself. Is that a thing? Can you verb that.

[Brady]

Estranging?

[John Holmberg]

I think it's an. I think it's a. You can.

[Brady]

You've been estranged.

[John Holmberg]

You've been estranged. I don't know. Maybe not.

[Brady]

I think so.

[John Holmberg]

Either way, if you've got someone in your family that you're trying to force a relationship with, there's no shame in pulling away. We've made people feel so guilty for horrible situations with family members, they have to lie. You don't have to take it from me. It's awesome.

[Brady]

Couple of basis fun facts. Cows don't automatically make milk. They have to have a calf first.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, is that.

[Brady]

Well I didn't know that makes sense know that either.

[John Holmberg]

I thought they were just milk cows. Yeah, so they're just constantly squirted.

[Brady]

Huh.

[John Holmberg]

So all those cows we get milk from have to get knocked up first. That's quite a process when you think about it. They have to get to a certain age, they have to get pregnant, they have to dump out new cows and then they're. And then from there on you just keep tugging, they keep producing.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

And you hope that's same with women, by the way. Yeah, that's.

[Brady]

They produce female cows.

[John Holmberg]

Right. You need more. Well, that's what a cow is.

[Brady]

Okay, you're right.

[John Holmberg]

But, but, but like a woman, if you keep tugging on it, it'll keep making milk.

[Brady]

Oh yeah, you can keep.

[John Holmberg]

I watched the Jerry Springer and learned that cuz she, this lady had an eight year old boy that she kept breastfeeding and it's like I keep producing because he keeps working them.

[Brady]

Then that one on the BBC, the kid was like 11 or 12. He's like, she's standing. He's standing at the tap, just.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah mom, that's good, mama. Yeah mum. I like a little bitty of some bitty.

[Brady]

There are more than 61 million people using pagers in 1994. That number's down to about 2 million today.

[John Holmberg]

All in India, mostly house.

[Brady]

They're all medical.

[John Holmberg]

That was third world. Why don't they just have phones?

[Brady]

Because you just need a, like a code. You gotta get it.

[John Holmberg]

Text me. I need a beeper for.

[Brady]

Because you don't want them looking at their phones.

[John Holmberg]

You don't want to look at your beep.

[Brady]

You won't miss the beeper.

[John Holmberg]

Why would you miss the phone? Just keep it on.

[Brady]

You can miss texts if you're an idiot.

[John Holmberg]

If you're a doc, you can miss beeps too. You turn it off. You turn it on.

[Brady]

Where do you go to get one? I haven't even seen one at like Verizon store.

[John Holmberg]

Incredibly sad. King of beepers. I used to be somebody.

[Brady]

He still has a warehouse.

[John Holmberg]

I would change a king of beavers. Now no one wants them.

[Brady]

Try to get in and out. He'll just.

[John Holmberg]

Here, keep it. I don't care.

[Brady]

The words Nazi and Nacho both come from the same Latin word. Ignatius. In Germany, Ignatius evolved into the name Ignates or Ignats, which was shortened to Nazi and become a generic term for German peasants before it was taken over by the Nazi party.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Brady]

Mexico. Ignatius became Ignatio Ignacio or. And that was the first name of the chef who had created Nachos.

[John Holmberg]

This is one of the best characters in Better Call Saul. Nacho. He was awesome. Ignacio. It's a great name.

[Brady]

The average wedding costs around $33,000. That's comes out to about $284 per guest. That there are a lot of hacks out there that claim to make things cheaper. But here's a new app. Taking off in Europe allows couples to sell tickets to their wedding.

[John Holmberg]

I'm with that guy. The hell's wrong with people? Nobody wants to go to those anyway. That noise was perfect for that.

[Brady]

So it's not for invited guests, family and friends.

[John Holmberg]

Anybody can buy.

[Brady]

They offer it to strangers. Well then who the hell's gonna go? Because people are like, you want to go out to a wedding? Sad.

[John Holmberg]

Get dinner, drink, just hang yourself. I agree.

[Brady]

Wedding date.

[John Holmberg]

You want to go to something? I'll go to a bar if I want drinks. Exactly.

[Brady]

But you have dinner drinks.

[John Holmberg]

You can go to restaurants. Dinner and drinks. I don't. Grandpa crying about his $20 ticket. If it's 20 bucks, I'm gonna get dry chicken and bad like lemon drop shots all night long. No thanks. And I gotta sit to him. I don't get a Catholic mass. They give you wine. Misery. Weddings are the worst. Never gonna go to another one in my life ever. Not a one.

[Brady]

They're saying the couples right now that are doing it or using the app are selling tickets for a hundred to two hundred dollars.

[John Holmberg]

Idiots.

[Brady]

My dad said you limit the amount of stranger tickets. Eliminate everybody.

[John Holmberg]

Look, 33 grand for a wedding. You're the most selfish person in the world. That is such a. That's just base. That's not like most people. And I'll say if you're like already established and you want to spend your own. But if your parents are paying and you're pushing the bill to 33 grand. You're a miserable human being to do that to people for your special day. It just go to the thing and get married and have a marriage that matters, not a wedding. That was impressive.

[Brady]

The app is called inviting I n V I T I n. We've DJed weddings.

[John Holmberg]

They've dropped 100k on them.

[Brady]

It's just happening in France right now, but if it continues to get traction, look out us.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No. Weddings have got to stop. It's a business. Weddings in college are the same. They're just giant businesses that we feel like have to look a certain way. Kirby gets married, I'm not going. I'll send a nice gift. I can't sit through another wedding. I'm older than that. I go to funerals now and Brady's trying to jump the gun on that.

[Brady]

This is Larry McFeely and we all know August in Arizona is brutal. We're talking triple digit temps that'll melt your flip flops. But Toyota trucks, don't sweat it. The tacoma tundra and 4Runner are built to handle that kind of heat. I've taken Tundras across the valley and up into the mountains. No issues, no drama, just pure performance in the blazing sun. Right now is the national sales event at your valley Toyota dealers. So it's the best time to gear up. Whether you're escaping the hot weather or working in it. These trucks are made for the Arizona heat. Visit your valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com toyota let's go places.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the core. He's not going to be back on the court immediately, but in a few months time he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain you've been living with the Core Institute celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do. Again, go to the Core Institute.com Hey Byron, I was looking at mmpguns.com's website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.

[Byron]

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys and more. The best part Is if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[Byron]

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP guns.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Brady]

Evidently, Bahrain is a little upset right now because there's something that's taking off adult pacifiers.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I saw that on the news last night.

[Brady]

So the members of the of Parliament are demanding action to stop this trend.

[John Holmberg]

Right now that adults suck on.

[Brady]

Binky started. Originated in China.

[John Holmberg]

Now I'll give it now. It gives you buck teeth, doesn't it? Isn't that the thing about pacifiers? Does it do it after an adult?

[Brady]

Yeah, I think so.

[John Holmberg]

I have veneers. I can't. So I could use it all day.

[Brady]

I don't think it's. I mean, it depends on how hard doing it, but I think, as you're adult. How hard you're sucking on it. Yes. Keep going.

[John Holmberg]

You make me so hard.

[Brady]

I don't think you. I don't know if you can buck out.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you don't know if you can or can't. Do you want to take. I'm saying you're going to go with try by your method and based on your criteria of gut. Yeah, yeah, I'll go with you on that one. Also, if Toledo said I think you can, I'd go with him too. I don't know. The answer is, who knows? But I also know that if you're an adult and you're sucking on a pacifier, you've got an oral fixation. You're the most popular girl at the bar.

[Brady]

You're also crazy. An identified Italian man lives in an Kona was found by a family member lying in his bed with a crossbow. Crossbow bolt through his head. He fired the old crossbow into his head.

[John Holmberg]

He fired it himself.

[Brady]

Yeah. And they found him two days later. They didn't know what happened. He was still alive. Got him to the hospital. Doctor said he was babbling incoherently.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he got an arrow in his.

[Brady]

Head, but he could still speak despite the. The injury. The bolt was removed. He wasn't drunk, but had the bolt in the head for two days.

[John Holmberg]

I thought you said it was a bow and arrow.

[Brady]

They call the the arrow in the crossbow bolt.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't know that. Is it new?

[Brady]

No, I saw.

[John Holmberg]

Why don't we call it a bow and bolt?

[Brady]

Because it's a crossbow. Bow is different.

[John Holmberg]

It shoots an arrow, though, right?

[Brady]

Shoots a bolt.

[John Holmberg]

Never heard that before. Shorter arrow. Did he really do it? Did you know that? No. No. It's a good question. It's in Italy, for God's sakes. There's. I don't know. Looks like he was cleaning his bolt. Something happened to him. What are you talking to me for? The guy so you get medical attention to that idiot over there. The bolt in his head. I thought it was called the arrow. What am I, comparative kiss over here? I don't know.

[Brady]

51 year old man in Tennessee named Decarlo Pitchford. He shot his wife last month.

[John Holmberg]

The Carlo got another.

[Brady]

Any details? But the wife told police he was blocking her from leaving the house when he tried to get past. She tried to get past, DeCarlo shot her in the abdomen, in the gut.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady]

He says, I. I told you to stop playing with me is all. DeCarlo said, Stop playing. She needed medical attention, so he drove her to the hospital. And he took his time because he stopped for a beer on the way.

[John Holmberg]

I love Italians. The more I hang out with a Brett, the more I'm like, they're right.

[Brady]

I'm telling you. Bleeding out in the car and stuff because you got hit in the gut.

[John Holmberg]

But I'm thirsty. I'm thirsty. I've never been this thirst. I need an ipa. I'm going to pull over here for just a second. I'm going to see some buddies. You're all right. Put a towel in the hole.

[Brady]

Let me rain on your parade.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady]

De Carlo in Tennessee. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

D. Carlo. You got to be clearer with your.

[Brady]

Your diction.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I like the. I like dict. Pull over an Old English. Oh, it is D. Carlo. D, E. I thought it was D. Apostrophe. Carlo.

[Brady]

I DeCarlo.

[John Holmberg]

I like the Italian. DeCarlo.

[Brady]

Charged with second degree attempted murder, domestic assault.

[John Holmberg]

Yo, yo, yo, yo. I like him better Italian. He can be both. I'm thirsty as a mother. I need to pull over and get myself an old English. Got some gin juice up in here. You've a shot before.

[Brady]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

You'll be all right now. Look at Brady. You're gonna make it.

[Brady]

You see, the world's ugliest dog was crowned.

[John Holmberg]

It's always the same looking dog.

[Brady]

Chinese crested this year it's a hairless English French bulldog.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, poor little fella. That's a disease.

[Brady]

Like that two year old pup named Petunia. Alopecia dog.

[John Holmberg]

That's not good. That's not a real dog.

[Brady]

Walked away with a five thousand dollar prize.

[John Holmberg]

Is his tongue hanging out? They always have their dry tongue.

[Brady]

No, he's just a hairless French bulldog. Let's see. This is just.

[John Holmberg]

Looks like he's got graves disease or something. He's kind of cute. Why is he ugly? Petunia's adorable. It's just all skin. I bet him.

[Brady]

Yeah, it is. It's like the Egyptian hairless.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's adorable. Looks like if I. If bus caught my disease and he looks cute.

[Brady]

Caught your disease? You have a disease?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I consider baldness a disease.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I called my dad and told him I have it.

[Brady]

Got a couple of quick videos, huh? But it missed your dad. Still got full.

[John Holmberg]

Not full, no. It's up there, but not full. All right, go ahead.

[Brady]

Marcy's losing her hair. That's.

[John Holmberg]

No, she's good. Marc has got a full head of hair. That side of the family's loaded with hair.

[Brady]

Sister got all her hair?

[John Holmberg]

I don't. Yes. What the hell kind of questions are these? These are the idiot questions. Go down the idiot row. Of course my sister's got her hair. She's a woman.

[Brady]

Idiots.

[John Holmberg]

Who are we talking to? Brett. Where are your people now?

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What's up, players? It's DiCarlo.

[Brady]

You know, the Italian black guy.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, I'm from Sicily.

[Brady]

First radio video is a guy in the Philippines catching a giant squid.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, this sounds bad. Like this sounds.

[Brady]

It's in the boat.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's on one of those little like, homemade rowboats. Yeah, he looks like Captain Phillips. What is that? Is it clapping?

[Brady]

She just got. Well, it's got those fins on the side.

[John Holmberg]

I've just inked the hell out of. Like, I don't even see where the animal is.

[Brady]

He's holding the bottom.

[John Holmberg]

Well, not like that. Where's its legs? In front of him. On top. He's holding him. I don't see it. I just. Look, he's holding a tube and it inks him. So gross. The video's choppy. That's why you can't see it, I guess. So Peter North. Yeah. I didn't know they squirted like that. Is he missing? No, I was sitting on his leg. One of those weird wooden boats where you immediately know you're in a poor person's country. Toledo loves to go there. They've Got like, mosquito nets on the boats, and they just lay under them and grab fish with their hands.

[Brady]

Next is a tactical black situation.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Quite literally, there's no sound. Okay. Two dudes in a parking lot. It's decarlo and dicarlo, too. Oh. Guy pulls a knife. He's got it behind his back. You can't see it, man. The guy's got it. Oh, here comes. Oh, Right in the gut one time. And that. At least. He only got hit once. And he's running away.

[Brady]

He's not.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's not. He didn't make it, huh?

[Brady]

No. He's coming back to the dude with a knife.

[John Holmberg]

No, this was over. You got out. What were you doing?

[Brady]

He knew his skills.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. And then he takes a punch at the guy and he knocks him out, but he's still bleeding out. He got stabbed in the guts. You're bleeding like crazy.

[Brady]

Woman pulls him away.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Brady]

The guy's gonna take a couple of extra bonus shots.

[John Holmberg]

The stabbed guy. And good for him. But you could have gotten out of there without the fight. Why run back to a guy with a knife? He already got you once.

[Brady]

It's amazing. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You got knocked up. Yeah. Lucky you won the fight. He did knock him out, though. Oh, for Christ's sake.

[Brady]

And the last one.

[John Holmberg]

Yikes. Off of Brady's multiple strange diseases site that he goes to.

[Brady]

This is why you have cancer.

[John Holmberg]

This looks like this is the nudist cruise. If somebody put Anderson Cooper in an oven. Yeah. They shrunk him. What. What does he have?

[Brady]

It's like back in the day.

[John Holmberg]

Who was that old gray haired guy that won American Idol? Remember him? The.

[Brady]

Oh, Taylo did.

[John Holmberg]

Taylor. I want to say Taylor Hicks or something.

[Brady]

We. We talked to him.

[John Holmberg]

No, we didn't. We didn't have Taylor Hicks on the show for what?

[Brady]

He did. Yeah, post. Post American Idol.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I'll have to dig it up.

[John Holmberg]

I don't remember that at all. He sounds good now, though. Look like Jay Leno. That's right. And this is what he looks like today. This is what Brady's gonna look like after the surgery.

[Brady]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Why go to the dentist when you have whatever the hell else is going on there? No, Charlie's in better shape than this guy. Unbelievable. Yeah.

[Brady]

Open up your mind.

[John Holmberg]

Open your mind. I can't. Yikes. All right, then, Brett. All right, Tell Brady. Close Brady out before he has to go to his EKG to find out he can't get knocked.

[Brady]

Good.

[John Holmberg]

All right, here's some morons at the Ocean all right, we're jumping off a pier.

[Brady]

All right, we're ready.

[John Holmberg]

Chubby guy jumping off a pier too.

[Brady]

Close to the beach.

[John Holmberg]

It is not good weather and this is not a very nice pier jump. Oh, it's about a 2 foot amount of water. I think he broke both his leg all the way through. Oh, my God. Oh, man. Oh, his foot's facing the wrong way and he's just rolling around in a brackish dirt, poop, water. Whatever country that is. It sounded like America, which makes me even more nervous. Morning sickness. Morning sickness. 28K Upd. Hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.

[Byron]

Brett.

[John Holmberg]

I sure do.

[Byron]

It's M and P Guns Customs. MMP Guns is creating some amaz firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsman. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[John Holmberg]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Byron]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with. No wait.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscustoms.com It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this, though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd have just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house, cash. As is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1-800-sale now. It's John Holmberg here for Turfmonstersaz.com if that yard of yours doesn't look great all of the time, if it is work all of the time, it does not have to be. Turf monsters can come to your house and make your yard a beautiful showcase place for you, your family, your pets. Yeah, it's pet friendly as well. Anything you can dream up in that backyard, they can do. Tell them home bird sent. You get 10% off turfmonstersaz.com Holmberg's morning sickness. There's some motorcycle for you. Oh, he's blazing down the shoulder of the road, and he's gonna hit another. Oh, oh, he just weaved around one motorcycle. He's flying down there. He's in the left turn lane goes around. He hits that guy. It's over. And it's over. It's over.

[Brady]

Motorcycle T boned.

[John Holmberg]

That's how I raced in gta when you had to race those motorcycles back. And that's it and everything. He T boned with his motorcycle. Another motorcycle. Okay, next one. Fat guy in China. I'm guessing this is Mark Pie. Oh, he's got a.

[Brady]

Is that a lighter?

[John Holmberg]

It's a lighter or a gun. What do they have? Put it. I don't know. His penis.

[Brady]

A stapler.

[John Holmberg]

I think it's a stapler. It's like squid games. He's got fatty as, and that penis is so small. That's a. It's a handgun. I think it's a pellet gun or a lighter like one of those. Oh, yeah, it might be a pellet gun. Could be a pelican. She's shooting pellets into his urethra. That's gonna. That's definitely gonna lead to an infection. Here's the Maryvale if you're. Oh, Brandon, why you want me do that, huh? What you mama's house. Don't. Don't break into your ex girlfriend's house when her new boyfriend. Sir. Oh, my God, that was horrible. Oh, move back, move back. Oh, he's got a shotgun.

[Brady]

He just blows the old bear spray or something. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

He had a gun.

[Brady]

That's a gun. Oh, that was a gun.

[John Holmberg]

You know what's the best part about that? He is not afraid to hit his new girlfriend. He shoots that.

[Brady]

He was firing bear spray from across the ring.

[John Holmberg]

She. He breaks into the house, his ex girlfriend's at the door, and the dude breaks. He's got his shotgun. Ready? Oh, it is. Oh, it is. Okay. It's just his body now.

[Brady]

I see the flesh.

[John Holmberg]

That's his arm. Yeah. Oh, geez. I don't think he caught one there. Oh, I thought. I thought before I took another paddy in my dick hole. Okay, here's a bang bus blooper. It's reverse cowgirls. Oh, she just slammed her hand in the car door. Oh, she's riding reverse cowgirl in the bang bus and somebody shut the door on her. The dude underneath was like, man, I'm giving it to her good. Oh, it's one of those sliding van. Oh, man.

[Brady]

Ben Bailey, the Wheaties are.

[John Holmberg]

Gonna be doing this now. All right. We gotta bong up someone's ass. Oh, my God. Yeah, bro. Man, asu's back in session. Wow. That sucked right into his ass. And now he's gonna fart the smoke. Somebody's gonna get a contact, and then we'll just end with this one. That is such an ASU thing. That just happened. All right, all right. Two dudes on their hands and knees with their asses aimed at. Dominatrix is sitting on a red couch. Today is the day for the battle. They say they have. They have bruised and beaten asses. Their stuff tied to their ball. Oh, it's a tug of war. And they have it tied to their scrotums. They are playing their ass to ass, pulling away from each other with their scrotums tied to their dog food there. And they have to. And if they pull hard enough, they get to get some food out of a bowl.

[Brady]

One guy's giving up one.

[John Holmberg]

Well, wouldn't you, Rich? Life is over only to win a car. Eat. You have earned your mirror.

[Brady]

You get more rice.

[John Holmberg]

You get mock pie number five in Japanese.

[Brady]

That's it.

[John Holmberg]

Who thinks of this stuff? It's a rope tied to two testicles.

[Brady]

That might have been the X rated version of bonsai. Place bets now.

[John Holmberg]

Scrotums were on some sort of a block, too. Oh, my God. Well, don't try that at home without, like, professionals. How do the balls not just rip off? I don't know, man. I. And I'd like to seen it. A real battle. One of the dudes wasn't even trying. The other guy crawled away like they were both scrambling pretty hard.

[Brady]

He curled.

[John Holmberg]

See a little back and forth on that. You might lose a scrote.

[Brady]

John, please tell me. I need to know, will Brady be back tomorrow? This. Tell me this isn't the final Brady.

[John Holmberg]

This isn't it.

[Brady]

No, it was a little lackluster.

[John Holmberg]

It was. It was a rough way to go out. If it was his last one, it was okay, you know, six out of 10. But today's the day they just find out whether or not he's healthy enough to get an ekg.

[Brady]

So, yes, he's back tomorrow.

[John Holmberg]

More than likely. The surgery that we have all decided to unify and take a week off, make sure Brady's okay, will be pushed back and we'll be here at the end of August anyway. There's no way he's healthy enough to do this. When's the last time you got knocked out? Been a while.

[Brady]

It's been a while. A year.

[John Holmberg]

A year.

[Brady]

What'd you had that navel hernia?

[John Holmberg]

And they put you under for that, right? That wasn't like a local. That was like a nine minute one.

[Brady]

Was that carved out? Yeah, they. They put me under.

[John Holmberg]

Taking EKG for that, too.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Were they worried about anything? Blood pressure is a big one for that.

[Brady]

Oh, that's what. Yeah. Yeah, but they weren't worried.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, were they or were you not worried?

[Brady]

Because there was nothing to be worried about.

[John Holmberg]

There's a lot to be worried about.

[Brady]

Well, I'm saying when I got the ekg, the them. You're good.

[John Holmberg]

You can. You'll. We can knock you out and you'll live. All right?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus. This guy. Is someone going with you to listen to the doctors today for the real information? No, you're going alone. He's bringing seven brothers with him. Rich, go with him. So when the doctor actually says your blood pressure is horrible, but the pills.

[Brady]

Have regulated, they'll tell me all.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but all you'll hear is that it's okay because of the pills. You won't hear that. It's terrible.

[Brady]

They tell you, but it goes through your filter. Yeah, they're the one that makes the call whether.

[John Holmberg]

I know. But they're telling you how it could be easier on you and you'll only hear the parts you want. For instance, there is no. No dietary changes with kidney surgery. The word however.

[Brady]

You stopped reading that today. Hopefully they tell me that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, hopefully they look at you and go, hey, this is. You're teetering on the edge of not being able to do this. What you'll hear is, I can do it, though, right?

[Brady]

I'm open. I hear you're good to go.

[John Holmberg]

You're just waiting for the cues. Yeah. Just me. We're not going to lunch on Thursday now or what?

[Brady]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. All right, all right.

[Brady]

I mean, what can I do if I don't.

[John Holmberg]

If they tell you the EKG is no good, your life has to change to get to a point where you can get.

[Brady]

Why do you try this with it?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Why am I wasting my time?

[Brady]

How many times have you told him he has to.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? I'm about to go cancer. If you don't want my help or anyone else's, then fine. We go to lunch on Thursday. If you can't get through the ckg, and they tell you, hey, we can't do the surgery. We're not going to lunch on Thursday day. You're gonna have a head of lettuce, and that won't have to go.

[Brady]

I can get that. I can get a head of lettuce.

[John Holmberg]

You're impossible. Does tong got a salad bar over there?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We're not going to tongs anymore. You know what you're gonna have to get used to? Place called Whole Foods Sprouts. What is that? We drove by sprouts once, and Brady was in the car. We were going golf, and we drove by sprouts. He goes, ah, I burned. What's the matter?

[Brady]

Ah.

[John Holmberg]

We passed the sprouts like, oh, I'm sorry. I'll go. I'll go around it next time.

[Brady]

Whole Foods has good pizza.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, stop. I'll share the story again. I had surgery. He came in and brought pizza to visit me. Had a large for himself and a medium for Megan. And I took my blood pressure. 119 over 70, which is perfect. And I had just had surgery, said, take his. It was like 180 over 120. And he's on pills and his excuse. Purr like a kitten. No, it wasn't purring like a kitten. That kitten is dying. The nurse said, are you okay? Yeah, I got pizza. That's not how blood pressure works.

[Brady]

Yes, it is.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not. What are you talking about? She goes, if I was looking at these numbers and not looking directly at you, I'd admit you for a stroke right now. Are you okay? Yeah, feel fine. Are you on medicine? This is with pills. I've got pizza. He's arguing with a medical professional over how pizza elevates your blood pressure to stroke levels. And he was fine with it.

[Brady]

Her incorrect reading.

[John Holmberg]

No, it wasn't. Because I know he was really nervous because he left the hospital and called me.

[Brady]

Just left the CVS.

[John Holmberg]

128 over 100.

[Brady]

We're gonna drop 60 points at the CVS.

[John Holmberg]

He stopped eating pizza because it's normal for Brady to think that when a pizza gets there, maybe get a little excited, you might have a stroke. That's reasonable. Will you listen to the doctor today and if anything. No, stop it. I'm not done talking. Don't interrupt.

[Brady]

I got questions.

[John Holmberg]

Stop it. You don't have questions. You're terrible.

[Brady]

I do.

[John Holmberg]

What are they? Let's practice.

[Brady]

I want to find, you know, find out about the surgery you're going to do. About the. What?

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brady]

Other than pain, drugs, are there any. Am I going to Be taking prednisone.

[John Holmberg]

You get that moon face. You're going to have to have that. Here's the thing. That's fine. That's if you can get the surgery.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Today, in the ekg. If he starts to say stuff like, this is close.

[Brady]

Yeah, we're in trouble.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady]

Trouble. You're dead.

[John Holmberg]

God damn it. Your pizza. Blood pressure so normal to have almost a stroke when pizza gets there. Who doesn't if he's worried about this even in the slightest? You need to go. What can I do to fix this so I don't have to deal with it next time? A very. I have to be very cognizant of what's happening to me.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Just yad me like I'm Paul telling him. Read that again. Read that again. Yeah, yeah, I got it.

[Brady]

You know what I'm gonna tell me. I'll find another doctor.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. The one that can't do it stays in. If they take your blood pressure today and it's ridiculous and they say, no ekg, we're not going to lunch Thursday.

[Brady]

What? Deal.

[John Holmberg]

We're going to lunch. Okay, all right. Okay. We're not going to lunch Thursday. He can't come with. Don't enable him. You're like an alcoholic. No, he doesn't have to eat like what you did.

[Brady]

No, I gotta go.

[John Holmberg]

All right, get out. Good luck. He's not gonna make it. There goes your Brady report. Literally, quite literally, right out the door to a doctor that's just sweating. He's got a towel over his head. Never had a guy work so hard in EKG in his life. Go get him. Brady. I hope you took all the blood pressure pills that you did so you could normalize this. Good, good move. That's smart. All right, we're rooting for him. Brady going to his EKG. There goes your Brady report. It's 98. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect, 98. We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Byron]

The choice is simple, Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection. Handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact, right now, all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have Ammo Inc. 9 millimeter hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Byron]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at the northeast corner of 12th Street Indian School or online at M&P guns.com.

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Eastside and Tempe at the Improv Catch the always hilarious Carlos Mencia. Funny Marco will be performing his sets downtown at Stand Up Live and at the the Desert Ridge Improv.

[Brady]

You've got the one and only Annie.

[John Holmberg]

Letterman entertaining you all week. For the complete lineups and for Tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com hey, it's Brett Vesely. Look, your AC's been working hard for you all summer long, so give it some love with Patrick Riley Heating, Cooling, Plumbing and Drains. Right now you can get a $59h vac system check which includes a full equipment inspection, refrigerant level check, and free electronic leak detection. And that's a $99 value. You need a new system. No problem. Score one $500 off right now.

[Brady]

Hot and stuck.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they offer emergency same day service. And before you commit, get a free second opinion with no pressure. Go to Patrick RileyServices. Com. That's PatrickRileyServices. Com Patrick Riley. One call does it all.