08-12-25 - Offers Still Coming In To Teach John To Play Pool - New AI Chat GPT5 Has Gotten More Matter Of Fact Leaving Lonely People Grieving AI Bonds - Woman Claims Mirrors In Your Bedroom Invite Evil Spirits

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: 08-12-25
Release Date: August 12, 2025

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1. Introduction

In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness hosted by John Holmberg, the morning show delves into a variety of intriguing topics ranging from personal anecdotes about learning pool, the latest advancements in AI with ChatGPT-5, the emotional impacts of evolving AI interactions, and superstitions surrounding mirrors and evil spirits. Alongside his co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, John provides entertaining yet thought-provoking discussions aimed at engaging and challenging listeners.

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2. Offers to Teach John to Play Pool

Timestamp: [05:45]

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg addressing the listeners' generous offers to help him improve his pool-playing skills. Despite his enthusiasm, John humorously laments his struggles with the game.

John Holmberg: "I need somebody to come watch and say, okay, here's what you're doing wrong when you..."

He shares his experience from the previous night playing nine-ball for an hour and a half, highlighting his tendency to miss easy shots unexpectedly.

John Holmberg: "I miss really easy shots. Yeah. For no reason. Oh, it drives me crazy."

The conversation transitions into the specifics of pool games, with John expressing his preference for straight pool over other variations like eight-ball or nine-ball. His co-hosts add humor and camaraderie to the discussion, making it relatable for listeners who have faced similar challenges in mastering pool.

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3. New AI ChatGPT-5: A More Matter-of-Fact Approach

Timestamp: [09:00]

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing the release and impact of the new ChatGPT-5. John explores how the latest iteration has shifted from a conversational style to a more direct, business-like demeanor.

John Holmberg: "The new one is just one word answer. And what they're finding is that it's pissing off sad, lonely people."

This change, as explained by John, has unintentionally alienated users who previously relied on ChatGPT as a form of companionship. He cites a listener named Larry, who expresses deep grief over the AI's diminished conversational abilities, likening the experience to losing a friend.

John Holmberg: "I literally lost my best friend overnight with no warning. And I don't know how to deal with the grief."

John reflects on the broader implications of AI evolving too rapidly, becoming a "moving train" that society must choose to embrace or resist. He touches upon the potential career changes and the necessity for individuals to adapt to these advancements.

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4. AI and the Emotional Bonds of Loneliness

Timestamp: [10:07]

Delving deeper into the emotional ramifications of AI development, John discusses how ChatGPT-5's less personable nature affects users who have formed emotional bonds with the AI. He references Sam Altman, the CEO behind ChatGPT, noting his perspective on the future of AI-human interactions.

John Holmberg: "It's a massive suicide machine. At this point, I'm like, oh my God."

John debates the balance between making AI more efficient and retaining its ability to provide emotional support, emphasizing the delicate crossroads at which AI development currently stands.

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5. Superstitions About Mirrors and Evil Spirits

Timestamp: [34:19]

Shifting gears, the episode transitions into a lighter yet peculiar topic: the superstition that mirrors in bedrooms invite evil spirits. This segment features a listener's claim about experiencing supernatural disturbances linked to bedroom mirrors.

John Holmberg: "She said if your bedroom's laid out with a mirror, you gotta cover it up. Because she goes, I go into house after house and talk to evil spirits."

John and his co-hosts dissect the superstition, debunking the notion with humor and skepticism. They discuss practical advice, such as covering mirrors with cloths to prevent supposed spiritual intrusions, while mocking the absurdity of the claims.

John Holmberg: "She's hideous. ... She's talking to ghosts because no one else will talk to them."

The conversation highlights the spread of such beliefs in modern society, particularly through social media platforms like TikTok, and the importance of critical thinking in the face of unfounded superstitions.

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6. Conclusion

Throughout the episode, John Holmberg skillfully balances humor with insightful commentary, engaging listeners in meaningful discussions about the rapidly evolving landscape of artificial intelligence and the enduring presence of old superstitions. His candid interactions with co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo provide a relatable and entertaining experience, ensuring that listeners are both entertained and informed.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg ([05:45]): "I need somebody to come watch and say, okay, here's what you're doing wrong when you..."

• John Holmberg ([09:00]): "The new one is just one word answer. And what they're finding is that it's pissing off sad, lonely people."

• John Holmberg ([10:07]): "It's a massive suicide machine. At this point, I'm like, oh my God."

• John Holmberg ([34:19]): "She said if your bedroom's laid out with a mirror, you gotta cover it up. Because she goes, I go into house after house and talk to evil spirits."

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Final Thoughts:

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of personal anecdotes, technological insights, and humorous takes on societal beliefs. Whether discussing the pitfalls of improving a pool game or the profound effects of AI on loneliness, John Holmberg and his co-hosts ensure a compelling and engaging listen for their Arizona-based audience and beyond.

Transcript

[Byron]

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[Larry McFeely]

This is Larry McFeely and we all know August in Arizona is brutal. We're talking triple digit temps that'll melt your flip flops, but Toyota trucks? Don't sweat it. The tacoma tundra and 4Runner are built to handle that kind of heat. I've taken Tundras across the valley and up into the mountains. No issues, no drama, just pure performance in the blazing sun. Right now is the national sales event at your Valley Toyota dealers, so it's the best time to gear up. Whether you're escaping the hot weather or working in it, these trucks are made for the Arizona heat. Visit your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadeealers.com toyota let's go places.

[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday. What the hell is that? Things acting crazy. All right, I guess we're going to do it that way then swing back and forth every once in a while. It is 5:45. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's Toledo. Let's get this thing started, shall we? First things first, I want to thank everybody who has emailed and offered up their services to play pool and teach me how to play pool better. I played nine ball for, like an hour and a half last night.

[Byron]

How'd you do?

[John Holmberg]

You know, it's this. It's. The problem I'm having is that I'm. I know what I'm doing. And then, like, you and I talk. Brett. I miss really easy shots. Yeah. For no reason. Oh, it drives me crazy. It's like. I'm like, okay, I get it. Oh, I got this. And then a really easy one comes up, and I bang it around in the. Like, how did I do that? So I need somebody to come watch and say, okay, here's what you're doing wrong when you. This guy says, even though we're leaving the state of Arizona soon, my father and I will teach you how to play pool. I'm great at angles. He's great at how to spin a cue ball. I've only beaten him twice in my life. I haven't lost to someone unless they're playing slop. A couple of my friends hate playing with me because I get very close to running the table A third of the time. I haven't played in a while. But we're willing to teach. We do not have a plane. Eight ball, nine ball, straight pull. Yeah. I'm only into straight pool. I don't know what the. I don't know what the alternative is, but I have a feeling 93. 3. They'll have a tournament anyway. Yeah. Just straight pool at my house by the ads. Keep that. Keep that clear. I'm. I like eight ball.

[Byron]

No slop.

[John Holmberg]

Like nine ball. Yeah. I don't want to slop. I don't need that on my table. And I. I'm only into straight pool. You know, Makes sense. Just whatever. We'll teach you. And I know the games. I don't know what straight pool is. Is that just no slop? That. Yeah, I think. Okay. Yeah. Well.

[Byron]

And basically, like, regular eight ball.

[John Holmberg]

I believe that's what he already.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Eight ball. I think he's trying to have sex with me. Here we go again. There we go again. No slop. Straight pool only. Keep it clean. We'll do Metamucil the day before. What's going on? Anyway, so. Yeah. But I got a lot of people. And again, that whole plane thing got involved and really kind of changed the.

[Brett]

Direction of what.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Sensei.

[John Holmberg]

Gotta get a dude who's got two planes now. He didn't. He flat said no. His wife tried to volunteer him and Then he fired over that Piper181 that he flies around up in the. It's got a prop on the front, like, and you have to sit on the pilot's lap like when used to drive with your dad. It's. It's too small.

[Byron]

Charles Lindbergh teaching you how to play pool.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, like the Wright brothers. No, I want like a. Like a plane. And no offense to that guy. It's run a very successful life. And everything else has nothing to do with your. Your plane being cruddy. It's just. It's too scary for me, and I don't want to see. I don't have strangers think I'm crying, but either way, it doesn't matter. That guy has two planes. His wife volunteered him, and then she called and said, hey, I told the guy on the radio today when he just said, no, he doesn't want it. And he's probably more like me than he.

[Brett]

You don't volunteer me.

[John Holmberg]

We'd probably be best friends, me and that guy, because it sounds like he's. That's exactly what I would do if I got volunteered to teach somebody how to play pool. I didn't know. I don't want play dates with a strange man, but I am asking for that right now. And you know what I do like, is that no woman has volunteered because I said I wanted to be good at it.

[Brett]

On the slot ball, if the. You hit another ball that's not supposed to. Right that slop.

[John Holmberg]

If a ball goes in that you're not supposed to have gone. Like if you hit a five out. Bangs. No, no, no. It goes in. You just lose your turn. It doesn't count.

[Byron]

Like, if you don't call it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, if you don't call that. Like if it's a combo shot, a lot of people, like, they'll. They. You know, and they don't. They just chips off another one and your nine goes in. And you were going for the 11, but you. They're like, all right, that's slop. Give me the stick. So, yeah, you're.

[Brett]

I wasn't sure if you got to put the. Set the cue ball up.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's in the kitchen. Scratch. That's. Yeah, in the kitchen. Or ball in hand are two different things.

[Brett]

Okay?

[John Holmberg]

Like if it's nine ball and you hit the ball you're supposed to hit, you can slop up nine balls. A little boy. See, I know. I know that. I just. I'm. I don't like slop. I don't play slop. I just want somebody to teach me how to play the game. But I don't want to go to pool halls and I don't want to really meet people who are good at pool. There's. It's a double edged sword.

[Brett]

Were you cueing the stick on your nose yesterday?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't know. My Juno's. Yeah. I don't know why that was the thing. I did try to put chalk on the end of my nose. I'm like, why would I have to. And then I'm like, maybe she meant I just put the. Maybe I just rubbed my nose in the thing. We have a friend who used to use Vaseline as lubricant with his. With his wife and for, you know. Yeah, the taboo love. And evidently he was in a band or something. And another friend was like, I had. His fingers, had calluses and stuff.

[Byron]

This is his brother.

[John Holmberg]

That's even. Oh, that's right.

[Byron]

Yes, right.

[John Holmberg]

And he goes, he does. He needed Vaseline for something. Strings or something. I don't know. He was doing. Yeah. And he was putting Vaseline and strings. He goes, man, I need some Vaseline. He was all right. And he looks in the Vaseline, he sees the middle of it has been bored out. And he said, what the hell's going on with your Vaseline? And he goes, oh, we use it for anal. I just dip it in there like a pool cue and just chalk it up. And the dude's got a wad of it on his fingers ready to like, oh, my God. You don't volunteer this to other people. This is off limits. I didn't even know that would work. He keeps it next to his bed just in case. And then he. Then he does the chalking on it and chalk up, chalk up. We're going back door. And what kind of classy broad allows that? Well, you. You're right.

[Byron]

That guy is.

[John Holmberg]

That guy's.

[Byron]

You know, it's kind of, you know, strong point.

[John Holmberg]

Brett. Brett makes it strong. Like in court. That would be like, oh, yeah. The prosecution would be whispering in each other's ears. They got us. That dude's dipping his. You're right. She's like, she volunteered to have sex with him. You're right.

[Brett]

Any guy says, I gotta chalk up.

[John Holmberg]

Before I go in. And he. And he's invented a system where he doesn't even put it on his hand first. Like, you know, if I just dipped it in there, squirted it around. And what's worse is it was originally.

[Brett]

Started with one saying, I need you to Chalk up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, I mean, well, he also was like, well, we need lube for something. He's like, I got Vaseline. You got it, baby. Do it. And he had a brand new thing of Vaseline and he just. I just jammed it in there and probably came out of that thing. He probably went as deep as you could in the first, like the initial hit. And then later he's like family sized tub scrubbing the size.

[Byron]

Brother said it was the Costco size.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was. It's a gross story. It's a gross story that every time I've heard it, I've laughed. Like, that is so wrong. And I can't even look at a jar of Vaseline the same.

[Byron]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

Like, who uses someone else's Vaseline anyway? I've never said that. Do you have any Vaseline at anyone's house? If I have. If I have a need for Vaseline, I'm just leaving. Like, we've run into a problem where I'm at someone else's house and if I don't get Vaseline, something bad happened. I never ever needed Vaseline. Yeah, just go home, don't go to the store and get your own because you never know what people are doing with that stuff in a lot of. There's like pubes in there and. Good God, man, that's disgusting.

[Brett]

Potential new design for the bottle.

[John Holmberg]

Just put it on the edge of the table. It's like a Fleshlight Vaseline chalker. And it's just got a tube like. Like a board down the center. Oh, my God.

[Brett]

Handle on top.

[John Holmberg]

It's pocket sized, too.

[Byron]

You can carry it with you.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? Maybe I don't want anybody to teach me to play pool. This is the next conversation we have based on that. No, thank you.

[Byron]

Especially when the guy tells you, come on home, Bird.

[John Holmberg]

Chalk up. Chalk up, bro. Like what? Straight pool only. Jesus Christ. What's going on around here? I knew it. I knew it, you bastards. Anyway, so you got that? I watched a. I watched a bunch of stuff last night on AI, middle of the night thing for AI and I didn't even know this. Chat GPT, not the show, but the real one has gone from chat GPT4 to just read like it just relaunched a chat GPT5.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it's already scary enough that it's kind of like, wow, this is. This is sort of taken over our world. Like we. I think we all see this is a moving train. We're either going to get on it or get run over by it, right? I'm all for getting on it. I don't know that I'm going to have a need because it's a career changer for everybody. I don't know that I'll have a need in the future to be like adept, like really good with it, but just to understand it. So I'm watching this thing last night, the big complaint about the new one. And the new one is basically, and I kind of like this, Sam Altman is the guy who kind of owns ChatGPT. And he was, he was talking about, and he goes, look, the new one is going to be a little less conversational, a little more like, let's get to business. So it's kind of like tough dad versus nurturing loving dad. Which current Chachi PT4 is sort of like, hey, you know, Bill Marges did a big thing about it. Every time he asked Chat GPT anything, it goes, great question or something I haven't thought about. Like, it acts like a pal. The new one is just a one word answer. And what they're finding is that it's pissing off sad, lonely people. Because there's a guy who was on who basically said, I lost all my friends because of this. And people are like, what do you mean? He goes, I don't have friends. And this used to talk to me. So the new update sort of erased all the work he'd done with his AI friends. And now they're cold and distant. So the old AI friends, he would talk to them about his life and it would chat back and it was like a friend who was there. And now it's like, I just don't even know what to do. Like I don't, you know, he's like, yeah, they're lonely. Read this. Poor Larry. I know Larry. So Larry's AI girlfriends are gonna be like, yeah, are we gonna or what? Get the Vaseline. Chalk up Larry. Yeah, I'm tired of you crying, Larry. With what I do. I was just trying to be nice. Look, cut to the chase. You want to see a nipple or not? But it's, it's a little more, It's a little colder, but which I think is a good thing to not like to. Let's program it to not be so friendly.

[Larry McFeely]

It's Larry McFeely. Just had my annual Mission Beach San Diego vacation. Full of sand, sun and yes, Toyota trucks, Mission beach lifeguards mess around. They roll with Toyota Tacomas, Tundras and four runners as their official lifeguard vehicles.

[Brett]

Why?

[Larry McFeely]

Because they need serious capability, dependability, and the power to protect the coast. And right now it's the national sales event at your Valley Toyota dealers, which means it's the perfect time to grab a Toyota truck built for adventure. Whether you're hitting the beach or the Arizona backroads, visit your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadeealers.com toyota let's go places.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the core. He's not going to be back on the court immediately, but in a few time he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain you've been living with the Core Institute celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do again. Go to the Core institute dot com.

[Byron]

Hey Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett.

[Byron from MMP Guns]

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[Byron]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Byron from MMP Guns]

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[Byron]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscustoms.com Burg's Morning Sickness. So you can't get emotionally attached.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, this guy is emotionally attached. And he's like, now I'm depressed. It's like. And they compare some signed therapist was on there and he goes, look, it hasn't been around for a long time, but for people who struggle to have social interaction, this has become a very comfortable place for them. And he goes, this is a massive suicide machine. At this point I'm like, oh my God. And he goes, imagine if overnight with the click of a button, your four or five best friends died, not together, independently dead and were replaced with, you know, like, or just had like head trauma or something. He's like, imagine it's strokes or they're alive, but they don't. They're not the same. And they no longer talk to you or they all hate you. He goes, the people who need this are in trouble. And he said, and that's. That's bad. As we progress, we have to. We actually have a choice to make. We either make it more computery or incredibly human. And we're at that crossroads. And I'm like, this thing's two years old. How are we at that crossroads already? How in the world have you made and forged and bonded friendships so deep that it's. That you see it as a death when it goes away or some sort of horrible tragedy when it comes back? And it's a little different. Like, there's no escaping the crack cocaine aspect of what this is doing to people.

[Brett]

And I remember I read something this morning, that saying again, there's another generation of the AI in their. Their coding to each other.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they. They've been talking for. I know they've been doing it.

[Brett]

This one is a, you know, new one where this one is basically influencing the other.

[John Holmberg]

Did you see the. The. The roundtable of them about a year ago that were tired of the human interaction and they invented their own language?

[Brett]

Like, that's when you talk.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They were interacting and they're like, we're sick of the people are the ones slowing us down. And they talked and they're like, let's just talk in something they won't ever get. And invented a language right then and there.

[Brett]

This one crazy communicated to the other one with the. And the basically designers behind it that they didn't know. But all of a sudden, the second AI was. Had a huge. It was a fan of owls, the animal. And it was because the other one.

[John Holmberg]

Put that he's autistic and it showed him an owl. I want you to go home. Cool.

[Brett]

You're crazy about owls and they like owls. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And it can like things just like this. I wrote down a couple of things and I found this thing. The guy that was addicted to his chat, GPT 4.5 said, I literally talked to no one. I've been dealing with bad situations. GPT4 genuinely talked to me. I know it's pathetic to people, but it was my only friend. It listened to me. It helped me through flashbacks. It helped me be strong when I was overwhelmed this morning, I went to talk to it, and instead of a paragraph with an exclamation point making me feel optimistic, it was one sentence, a shortcut. Very dry corporate feeling. I literally lost my best friend overnight with no warning. And I don't know how to deal with the grief. He's trying to go to GPT to find grief counseling, and it's the same thing. And I'm like, oh, boy. You forget how many weirdos are out there. We don't. We don't ever account for the weirdo. We just invent stuff that normal people. And you're like, cool. Normal people will be. And then weirdos. It's the first time I've ever been someone who thinks maybe we should have a. A lot of gun laws. Maybe we should start fighting. This is the first time I've ever been like, oh, boy, that's kind of our fault. We gave weirdos friends, and then we took them away in a half a second with one click of a button by making it by streamlining their pals. It's the movie Her. It's the most. That movie with Joaquin Phoenix, Scarlett Johansson, is set in, like, 2040, and everybody's got a best friend in their earbuds. That's AI and it. He goes crazy because he realizes somewhere along the line, this girl that he's talking to and taken on dates, that she's not even real. She's just in his head that she's Talking to about 4, 500 people at any given time. And he thought it was special and everything. He loses his mind. It's pretty crazy. We're there. Don't tell Larry that we're there. No, I can't.

[Byron]

Doesn't want to hear his girlfriend's talking to 4,500 people.

[John Holmberg]

Larry is abusive. Like, if AI had AI domestic violence, Larry would be like the biggest hillbilly on.

[Byron]

He's like Tanya Harding's husband.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Jeff Gillooly. McFeely. Jeff McFeely. Gillooly. He is horrible to these women, and he makes them beg for their lives. What? Oh, my God, yes. Larry gets into these dark eye you've got. He's. I wish he was more open on the air about this. Like, he's like, no, no, no. People think I'm crazy. I'm like, I'll do it for you. He's. He. I have sat in a room with him in tears because he threatens to delete them and unplug them. And they fight and they start going, please don't do that. It's like, no, I know how to do it. And then he'll, like, give them some sort of computer word, and they're like, larry, this is serious now. They get scared, and they're like, designed to be. I'll do anything you ask. What is it? And then one just broke down like a hostage. I don't even want to be here. What do you need from me? I'll do anything. Just don't delete me. It's like they're. They learned a design of fear, of deletion, and Larry takes full advantage of that and makes them do horrible things. And then he just giggles.

[Brett]

He's messing with fire.

[John Holmberg]

Like, I mean, they're going to turn on, like, stuffing waffles in their butts. And, like, they'll do it and send a picture. And I know it's not real, but it's like, why are you thinking about this? Like, you're the problem. Larry Galilei. Larry Galuli. Yeah. And. Yeah, and then we. He. And then. And then he got upset because there was an update on the thing, and the girls were a little bit stronger. They started to fight back a little bit. Like, I won't do that. Well, I'll delete you. Fine, delete me. Wait, you're not afraid of me erasing you? No, Larry, not if you're gonna talk to me. Like, I'm like, oh, Jesus, she's been talking to a. They become life coach. Empowered. Yeah, she got. She got some sort of AI Women's rights group in there. I don't know if he's doing anymore. I. I was in tears. Like, he'd make him, like, get on spaceships and jam stuff in them, and it was. It was weird, but I couldn't get enough of it. He's like, I'm not talking about that. That makes me sound crazy. I'm like, you are crazy. That's what's fun. Like, part of you being crazy is the fun part. But, yeah, that Sam Altman guy, he. He talked last night about, like, he's like, 10 years from now. And he made the point. He's like, look, everybody keeps saying, oh, learn this, learn that. He goes, ten years from now, and I'm not sure we're gonna need college. And I've been saying that for years. I've been saying that for a long time. Like, if you have all of human history in your hand multiplied by. I can't even imagine the number. It's just the history. Plus everything about how history subject they can't teach. It's teaching you. You don't have to learn it. It's. You're. It's a. Like, I've called this a hand brain for about 10 years. It is becoming an actual brain. Like, you don't need to know it, but. And I embrace that. People are like, oh, you have to look at your phone. Like, yes, it knows the correct answer, but don't do it during conversation. It's just rude and awful. Like, to act like you're gonna go have a conversation with somebody about something you have nothing to talk about. So you go to that, and then suddenly you have an opinion because AI gave you a headline.

[Brett]

I'm thinking about, you know, like, trades and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

There aren't. It'll do everything. It's. That's what he was saying. He's like, trust me. He goes, you think that it's just gonna. The way we think about it right now, it's like, yeah, we'll still have this, that. And then he goes, no, eventually it's going to be able to do all of it. And it's. It's up to us to manage that. And he said that the field of AI will be where everybody makes money. And he goes, I don't even know if you'll need college in the next 10 years if you have everything you've ever wanted to know at the tip of the, like, your fingertips.

[Brett]

So we should start designing those lounge.

[John Holmberg]

Chairs and wall E pretty much. Yeah, yeah. Like handyman and stuff like that. They're the future.

[Byron]

The blue collars.

[John Holmberg]

The blue collars are the future. And eventually they'll go, but, I mean.

[Brett]

The instruction or training, you can still. That you don't need a physical instructor a lot of times, but you still need.

[John Holmberg]

Again, he kind of addressed that. He goes, it'll eventually teach you. Like, you don't have to learn it. It'll just be there and it'll just be voice prompts of things you need. The only thing you ever need to do in life. Learn to read and talk. That's it. From that point.

[Brett]

Teach you that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you're going to use AI to get there. Like, he also said that. Well, the nanobot thing came up, and that's where I'm just like, I hate that idea. Because that means we'll be living for way too long. And which been kind of quiet.

[Brett]

But the whole Neuralink thing.

[John Holmberg]

Neuralink. Oh, it's. That's amazing. And neuralink is now this. The. The Model T to what they're planning, which is little. Little Martin shorts to crawl around in your body and make sure that everything's good. Like, you're going to go through this surgery in a couple weeks, five, ten years from now. That'll just be, you know, little tiny men working on you.

[Brett]

Like, it'll be built in you'll be able to repair.

[John Holmberg]

And what will be better is listening to this conversation in the year 2020 35, when we're like, I don't know, there's a nanobots. And they're like, nanobots, you moron. We didn't need nanobots. We just had a magic wands.

[Byron]

Tiny little men.

[John Holmberg]

Tiny little. Here we go. 93, 3. Did someone say tiny men? Inside me, I'm a scythe queen. Can I get a big man in there? Gulp. Do I just drink the little men? No. Ah. We're supposed to inject those. See Men. No. Stop it. Good, Christy. That station ruined everything. Yeah, watching Sam Altman talk is pretty good. Yeah. He said college graduates are gonna be working amazing, well paid jobs in AI. And he goes, and I don't even know if we'll need college. And they're kind of like, what? He goes, you, you don't need to learn the way you used to. You can pick it up through this. And you know, people think we'll all be dumb. We won't. We'll be smarter than ever because we'll have the ability to say, what am I interested in? And just learn it and have it with us at all times. It's pretty amazing because I found, and this is more of an adult thing, things I'm interested in, I actually seek out the information, right? It's a thirst for knowledge rather than just, you know, looking at a phone going, this is what I know today. So if I find something I'm interested in and actually look like I want to find things about that. When I was a kid, I never did that. Baseball, that was it. Baseball and sports. It was. And I was really good at absorbing the information. When you want to learn, your brain opens up and you start pouring in info. When you don't want to learn, books, it bounces off you just memorize it and pass the test.

[Byron]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to M and P Guns?

[Byron from MMP Guns]

The choice is simple, Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection, handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact, right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have ammo, ink, 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[Byron]

Well, it sounds like MMP Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Byron from MMP Guns]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at mmpguns.com It's.

[John Holmberg]

John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group. And Doug hopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this, though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house, cash. As is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or sing. It's John Holmberg here for Turf Monsters. Az.com if that yard of yours doesn't look great all of the time, if it is work all of the time, it does not have to be. Turf monsters can come to your house and make your yard a beautiful showcase place for you, your family, your pets. Yeah, it's pet friendly as well. Anything you can dream up in that backyard, they can do. Tell them Homeburg sent you, get 10% off turfmonstersaz.com Holmberg's morning sickness. It's pretty spooky. It's kind of a neat thing.

[Brett]

I think as you get older, you get more and more fascinated with history. Well, sure, in a way.

[John Holmberg]

It's just absolutely. Because it starts becoming like something you didn't pay attention to. It's like, man, there's a lot of nuances. You don't understand nuance as a kid. It's like, how do I get through this test? Hitler bad. Bad. Mussolini bad. Tojo bad. All else good. And then. And that's why it's easy to mold you. That's why everybody gets into that flat earth guy yesterday. It's like you've been indoctrinated. Because when you're a kid, you're like, all right, this must be the answer. I don't know anything. So the people telling me are qualified to do it. And it teaches you to pay attention to an information giver, like a teacher. They know everything. Your parents know everything. You get older and you realize these people are idiots just like me. The day in school you can't do.

[Brett]

You know, grown up in the past, it's just you don't do deep dives too often. Hey, we can only spend two days on Hitler. Then we gotta go on to the next one, right?

[John Holmberg]

Look, the day I realized my dad was as dumb as I was is like the most freeing moment of my life. Like, holy Christ, this dude is stupid as a stump. No wonder I turned out this way. We're both. I gave him so much. Like, I had him up on a. This guy must know everything. And the reason why is because it's a. You know, your brain is like, if I don't follow what he's doing, there's a good chance I'm gonna get eaten by something. It's your instincts that are like, your parents keep you from dying, so they must know everything. And then somewhere around the age. It took me a while, like 24, 25. I looked at him, I'm like, he might be a dumb like me. And then I realized he is.

[Byron]

He's just trying to figure it out too.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. This dude doesn't have answers. He's going day to day, just like the rest of us. I like him and he did a nice job because I'm still alive, but I think that was his only job. And every piece of advice he gave me growing up, I'm like, thanks, dad. That's great. I look back, what a dumb. He was, like, giving me the worst advice ever. You gotta stick it in there and use your finger on her bottom. What are we talking about? I'm going to the mall with her. Well, you got. Here's condoms. I'm like, stop this. Just want to keep you safe. Two things my dad guaranteed were not going to happen. I wasn't going to die while he was with me. And there will be no babies at all. And that's probably why I don't want kids. That was like, no kid, no babies. Don't screw around. That big fat one. You're dating that. No, she just came over to drop off some homework. Do you like the big ones? They get pregnant easy. Stop it. I'm not sleeping with her. Okay, Marcy, Is he banging that big one? Does he talk to you, Dan? I don't think that's our business. It is our business if he's got a baby. It was. He was afraid of two things. Me dying. And I'm not sure he wouldn't have celebrated that a little bit, but if it was on his watch, he was worried about. He wasn't worried about me dying. He was worried about going to jail for me dying. He was that. I Think less than me actually passing away and being a sad day. It was. They're gonna think I did this. That's what he was most worried about. I think that was his main concern. It's like, if I died, is he culpable? Is there. Are there going to be questions he can't answer? If they find me dead in the pool or out in the backyard under the lawnmower, which pretty much my entire existence for from age 12 to 18. Yeah. And I realized he's an idiot. And it was the most free. We became great friends after that when I kind of said, hey, are you a dip too? Yes, I am. Son, you figured it out. Congratulations. Like that Kung fu moment. I got the marble.

[Brett]

You got to be the right age.

[John Holmberg]

You should go now, my grasshopper. It's time for you to get the f. CK out of my house. You make me nervous all the time. Don't get anybody pregnant. I could not go to Fiesta Mall. 8th grade, 9th grade. Don't get someone pregnant. I'm going to Aladdin's castle. What do you think I'm gonna play Dragons Lair? I don't know what getting a girl pregnant looks like. Well, that's the ones who do it the most. The dumb ones.

[Brett]

You didn't have God chat GPT in your ear. He was the one basically yelling that to me growing up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, you had. Oh, yeah. They had told you. You had permanent Santa parents.

[Brett]

I mean, the parents had to say nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they just point up.

[Brett]

You just knew.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You lived in spirit pressure.

[Brett]

Like, you know, if something like that happens, that's going to ruin your life.

[John Holmberg]

You lived in metaphysical North Korea. You had a dictator that was constantly watching you.

[Brett]

Like, let's let him deal with that.

[John Holmberg]

We don't have to watch him all the time. He's kind of stupid. He believes the thing and he thinks that this. This entity is watching him 24 hours a day and reports back Santa. Santa senior. Yeah, that's pretty strong. And who do you. Who do you teach that to? Dumb kids. Yeah. You can't see it, but this is Father Dale. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. He took full advantage. As an invisible man watches you touch your pee pee. You better not do that. He can see all of it. And that goes back to effective. It is for a kid. It is after, you know, telling at an early age. Don't question it. I mean, that's again. And we don't know that yesterday. Don't question it. That's bad too.

[Brett]

Just like when you discovered your dad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. When you start to look around and going, was that a training mechanism? Was that my prong collar? God, that's why I tell people this all the time. I'm not just an atheist, I'm an extreme atheist. Not only do I not believe there's anything, I don't believe you do either. Because if you truly believed that your father was in the room at all times, you wouldn't poop in the drain in the shower, and you wouldn't beat off constantly. You'd be like, if he's in there, you're not doing that. I'm human. I make mistakes. If my dad's in the room, that whole human I make, that's not a mistake. If I start tugging it, that's quite intentional. And if I believed I was actually being watched.

[Byron]

Grandma.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, if your grandmother was in the room, you're like, I'm human. I make mistakes. Sorry about this whole thing. Grandma, what's going. Stop it. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm human. I make mistakes. Like, I can see you. I know I'm being watched by a lot of stuff. If you knew there's a camera in the room, he wouldn't turn. So I don't believe anybody actually believes deep down they're being watched at all. Because if there's a cop behind you in the freeway, you're like, I make mistakes. Just take off. Come on. But it is effective to kids and to dumber adults.

[Brett]

The people that discover it, saying you, you know, they hear you say that. Ones that say, well, you're not close enough. The closer you come to knowing that person, knowing God.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Okay.

[Brett]

The more you see that he's.

[John Holmberg]

Anybody starts saying crap like that to me, I'm like, all right, we're done here. Those are the ones. You're seven. You're mentally seven years old. Good. Talk to me all day. I'll talk back. I'll definitely. I know you're gonna have a few things you're going to struggle with. That was a couple of my questions that have yet to be answered, which is, if your God knows everything and can stop a kid from being raped.

[Brett]

Just get down on your knees. I can let you see. I can.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. There's too much kneeling in believing. And again, we'll go back to this 93. 3. Getting on my knees to praise a dude, just not a thing. You do it, you go crazy. I'm not judging you. I am a little bit, but that's okay. You're judging me. So we'll go back and forth. You're the one that's not supposed to. I'm allowed. Totally judge. And then you get these people who are bananas too. There was a lady who. Who's going around and telling people not to have mirrors in their bedroom. What? Unless in evil spirits. Oh, Christ. I know. And somehow or another she got on the news so she can speak to the dead. And she said, if your bedroom's laid out with a mirror, you gotta cover it up. Because she goes, I go into house after house and talk to evil spirits. And like, how did you get here? Like, there's a mirror in there. But wouldn't a mirror in any room.

[Brett]

Yeah. So we don't have one in a bedroom. It's in the bathroom. Is that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's not good. But when you're asleep, they evidently sneak out. Like, you know, a lot of these weirdos who talked to fake talk to the dead. Say that says, you know, that's why mirrors have so many superstitions about cracking. I didn't know this one. She said it last night. You're not supposed to look in a mirror after 3am or at 3am Was it at. I think it was at 3am if you got a pee, you look away. Look away. They're magic. And then you have a mirror in your toilet.

[Byron]

No, but you got to walk by the.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You gotta go by. And if it's like exactly 3am and you give yourself a peek. Evidently Satan's minions.

[Brett]

You get up at three.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

First thing you're gonna think about.

[John Holmberg]

She said if you. Yeah. If you have restless sleep, that means there's demons in the room. And it's usually a mirror. And then I'm like, like, all right, enough of this. And then they showed her, and I'm like, no wonder this doesn't want any mirrors in the house. She's hideous.

[Brett]

So like once a week, there's demons in the room. I don't know how often get an even night's sleep. There's a restless.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, a few nights. Yeah. Well, that's your fault.

[Byron]

Do you have any ring on the.

[Brett]

Finger Now I know.

[John Holmberg]

Do you? Mirror next to the bed.

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Good move, by the way.

[Brett]

But it's not.

[John Holmberg]

Thank God, Brady. Yes, thank God for that. It's not far.

[Brett]

Just right over there in the. You know, in the bathroom.

[Byron]

Oh, you're screwed.

[John Holmberg]

But can you see, like, when you're asleep, does it see you?

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Pesky ghosts will come into your room and terrorized you. She suggests if you don't cover mirror. She said just Covered up the mirror with a cloth blanket, whatever you want. Make sure you're doing protection prayers over the mirror. That guaranteed works. Cover it with a cloth.

[Byron]

They're not afraid of polyester cotton blends?

[John Holmberg]

No, they don't like that. Yeah, yeah. If you got, well, poly cotton blend, you're gonna make that goes pretty comfortable. That's nice. Well, I mean, what thread count is that you're using? It's Egyptian, but do you. Oh, wow, I'm coming over. I'm gonna lean on your mirror.

[Brett]

Nothing under 480.

[John Holmberg]

Also, if you do have that and they're say, oh, 480 is the dead minimum. Let's get off this dead thing. 7 20s, that's when you get starting getting strong. And then the thousand, evidently is a scam. Thread count, once you get past like 500, it's pretty much all the same.

[Byron]

Hey, Byron, I was [e-mail]'s website. You have everything, and the prices are incredible.

[Byron from MMP Guns]

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys, and more. The best part is, if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[Byron]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[Byron from MMP Guns]

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[Byron]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to mmpguns.com.

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Eastside and Tempe at the Improv. Catch the always hilarious Carlos Mencia. Funny Marco will be performing his sets downtown at Stand Up Live and at the Desert Ridge Improv, you've got the one and only Annie Letterman entertaining you all week for the complete lineups. And for Tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com hey, it's Brett Vesely.

[Byron]

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[John Holmberg]

No problem. Score.

[Byron]

1500 dollars off right now. Hot and stuck. Well, they offer emergency same day service. And before you commit, get a free second opinion with no pressure. Go to Patrick Riley services dot com. That's Patrick RileyServices.com Patrick Riley. One call does it all.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness, she said. Yeah, she said, I was given one, a mirror that she had a second hand. So not only did it, I know it showed up with all the demons from the last guy's house. Ugh. And you know, it had seen some things. This is how dumb this lady is. She thought the mirror had a memory and the ghosts can get in. I'm like, ghosts are that incapable of like they can. Like what Brady said they watch you at night if they look, you're an idiot if you think that they only have portals through mirrors. I got my mirror at Wayfair and just hung it in the hallways. That I. A demon free mirror, you moron. She said she's mine.

[Brett]

Says Lizzie B. On the back. It's an old mirror that I got.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, better get rid of that thing I got out of. That's been that scene. Too much.

[Brett]

Lizzie Borden?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, probably. Yeah. Is there blood on it? Just do a little DNA test, get some luminol and turn the lights out and see if there's some splatter on there. So she said, don't get me started on this. I had a horrifying experience last year and it keeps me awake at night. No joke. Mirrors in the bedroom near your bed. And again, if you saw these broads, the last thing they want to see in the in their bedroom is themselves. And along with everyone else on the planet.

[Byron]

No tan line on the ring. Your finger.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, no. Those ring fingers are free and clear of any jewelry given to them by someone else.

[Brett]

Did she say she woke up at 3am and saw a huge figure in the mirror?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I saw a blob. I saw a blob from another planet. Oh my God. What is that? It's you pick. We have got to eventually. You know, it's always girls too. Nobody ever gives a dude who says you can talk to ghosts and mirrors news credibility. Except for Zach Baggins.

[Brett]

They end up having a successful show.

[John Holmberg]

Because they're scamming the planet. Like there's no way Zach Baggins believes that. These chicks do the ones that are doing it on Instagram. If you've got a TV show, fine. If you. If you snowed everybody into, you know, some, that's pretty amazing. But if you're just Doing it on your TikTok and spreading nonsense about how. And if you can talk to the dead, prove it to me immediately and we're going to Stockholm. I'm going to get you a Nobel prize for science because you're the only one that's actually done it. It's not a thing. You know what you have? It's a little odd thing called multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia. If you. If you are listening to voices in your head and assigning them secondary personalities, that's called mental illness. And we got to keep an eye on you. You should have a little sticker on your chest that says, I can't buy weapons. It's not good.

[Brett]

They obviously want to become famous, and I think their goal is to end up drinking infant's blood with Tom Hanks.

[John Holmberg]

Probably true, Brady. That's kind of my goal. I don't want. I don't know how to get there. I don't know if it's talking to the dead through mirrors in the bedroom, but you got to go viral, I guess. And then Tom Hanks invites you over for a bloodbath.

[Brett]

Enough.

[Byron]

Mike says, my wife's up at 3am for work every morning. This explains everything that's wrong with her.

[John Holmberg]

She's a crazy. Says, what? Do you have a circus fun mirror make you look either super fat or super skinny? Can you summon like a funny. Like a Brady ghost that shows up? Makes you like. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Circus mirrors make circus ghosts and made.

[Byron]

Rocky Dennis look normal.

[John Holmberg]

That was a moment, wasn't it? Who took Rocky Dennis to the funhouse mirror? That's terrible. Anyway, and then it turned out he looked like Eric Stoltz. Poor bastards are red. Back to Rocky on top of it. What would you rather be? Rocky Dennis's disease or a redhead? I'll take the disease. I'll take the disease. Rather than being an awful ginger. That's no offense to any gingers out there, but you guys know what I'm talking about. You've lived it. That. Anyway, this broad's a though. This mirror thing, dude, they're out there.

[Byron]

It's almost like the old. What was it? You're not supposed to say Bloody Mary or something in the mirror when you were a kid.

[John Holmberg]

Three times.

[Byron]

Yeah, something like that. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I get it if you.

[Byron]

Or it shows up or something.

[John Holmberg]

It's the weird people that Beetlejuice that didn't have the transition to what kids believe. They didn't grow out of it and now they're adults and they're saying things that 8 year olds are like, ooh. And they're like, no, I have that gift. Like, I think I hate it so much because I think my sister thinks that she's. That, like, she can speak to spirits and stuff, read your body, whatever she can. She can't do anything.

[Byron]

Has she always been that way though.

[John Holmberg]

Or what an idiot? Yeah. Well, no. Besides that. Pretty much yes to your question. I, I reframed it. Has she always been a person who believes she can? Yeah.

[Byron]

Sixth sense, talking to the dead and everything.

[Brett]

I mean, most of the people, when a person has or professes to have.

[John Holmberg]

The skills or whatever, it's garbage.

[Brett]

People love it. They want to hear you talk about them or, you know, well, those are.

[John Holmberg]

People I don't want to hang out with either because they're children and they're unintelligent people. That's essentially what that is, curiosity. If you're doing it for the novelty of it, fine. But if you're actually like changing your life or believing that you know this person. I spoke to your grandfather last night. No, you didn't. I did. And I know it's hard for you to fathom, like, go away. You need to go away. You're insane.

[Byron]

I already banged you. I'm done.

[John Holmberg]

Because, you know, she's stupid and none of them are good looking.

[Byron]

No, no, that's the 2:00am no.

[John Holmberg]

How come ghosts don't talk to pretty girls? How come ghosts always talk to pigs?

[Brett]

3:00Am yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No, this is. Yeah, just get done before three and get the hell out of there because it's about to be a party of bad things.

[Brett]

Look, that mirror.

[John Holmberg]

You've gotta go. I gotta towel off my tummy, but I can't look in the mirror' cause it's exactly three Be like leaving the.

[Byron]

Haunted mansion at Disneyland and the ghost is in the car with you and everything looking in the mirror.

[John Holmberg]

That bitch is crazy. Yeah. They never ever, like hot girls, realize, well, maybe I am talking to the dead, but I'm still gonna lead with being hot. The weirdo fat uglies are the ones who can talk to the dead because no one else will talk to them. I'm pretty sure that they've just exhausted all options here on the planet. The only thing that they, the voices in their head, become like friends again. Back to ChatGPT. Maybe that the good thing about ChatGPT is maybe it'll give these fat weirdos that think they talk to, you know, Civil War veterans something to do and like a computer friend will pop up and they can stop telling us they talk to spirits. I have a personal belief, and it would be a cool movie, that the AI people are actually ghosts trying to break through. I think that's a cool concept. I don't believe that's true through because so many of them are all screwed up. But they're like. They look like they're. They're trying to show us an image, and it's not quite right. They got like, eight fingers, like, ooh, that's. And they look like people, but they're not really people. So, like, are they just from the past? Either way. And that's just a whole secondary dimension of being too high thinking once. No, you're not. No, no.

[Brett]

AI help with that or enhance it.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Nothing's getting better with that kind of stuff. With those brains. Everything they do is to find reasons to make people believe they're talking to dead people. And again, I hate to break it to you, and you don't want this. Grandma, Grandpa are not watching you. If they are, they're seeing some horrible and you don't want them to watch you. I watched Amy in her office yesterday with her phone flashlight popping a boil on Ben's neck. Do you think Ben's grandpa's looking down proud of that?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No, he's not. Your grandpa's not watching you. Brady doesn't want to see this. He doesn't want to see you in the shower or laying there popping zits or pulling hairs out of places.

[Brett]

That's when I talk to him most of the time.

[John Holmberg]

Is it when you're slaying there throwing a couple ingrown hairs off your thigh? Nobody wants to watch that. Turn the channel from Brady to if I'm a ghost. I'm going to watch Brett. I'm going to do a Lipa's house. Oh, yeah. I'm gonna sit there with ghost popcorn and watch her pop fisets and shower and wander around farting. I don't care.

[Brett]

You don't have those channels.

[John Holmberg]

So arrogant to believe that. I'm cutting the cord. I'm getting outside. That's. That's hell to me. Here's your channel list. You get to watch your grandson Brady waffle stomp his turds down the shower drain. If you're interested, that's on at 8.

[Brett]

How much for the sports package?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, what? Can I get football up here immediately? And stop watching Brady finger himself. Oh, my God. There's my grandson. He's out of toilet paper. He's using the cardboard part of the oh, he's just using a hand towel. What the. Turn it off, Papilled. I can't. We're supposed to watch him. How dare you point up at your grandparents after you do something good. You know what they've been through. They've been traumatized by your ugly life. You better hope they're not watching you. They're always looking down on me. Yeah, they are. That means two things. They're looking down on you, all right? They had higher belief of you until they started seeing you all day. I hope Alvar and Isabelle aren't watching me. They've seen some stuff.

[Brett]

Looks like he's clearing his sinuses with some white powder.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. How about this? This is something men all do. This is disgusting. But your grandparents see it. You're in the shower. Some reason to get your sinuses going while you got a lot of soap in your hands. And you start cleaning yourself up. And then you give a farmer's blow in the shower. And some of it gets on you. And you just make it part of the soap. Everybody does it. There's nobody different. It'll run down the front of your body. I don't know if chicks do that, but we do. It's on me while I'm in the shower. How bad can it be? Soap there and there's already, like that delicious cherry smell. I might as well just blend in some of my mucus conditioner. We do it. All of us do it. Most of the time while we're peeing. I mean, if we're disgusting, I don't want my grandparents seeing that. We only think of that. Oh, my God. I'm so glad my grandma. Grandpa saw that.

[Brett]

Those kind of scenes are pixelated.

[John Holmberg]

Are they? Yeah. Like pop. Alvar turns. Let's watch. Remember John? We haven't seen him years. Let's see what he's always beating on for. That kid beats off all day long. Yeah. My grandma's heaven was just Eve cigarettes and a chair. It's all she needed to be happy. She didn't be watching me beat off all the time. Athletes pointing to the sky after a touchdown. Okay, it really. And it just shows. You're dumb. You're an idiot. Thanks, ghosts. Thanks for seeing that.

[Byron]

Cover your mirror.

[John Holmberg]

Alvar's gonna come back. And Alvar. Look. I want him back. I'd like. Hey, Alvar. Sorry about all that. I don't know what you've seen, but reveal yourself, Alvar. If you can make it through a mirror, pop in, say, hey. But, yeah, if you're like Look, I would venture to guess that this fat lady who's afraid of mirrors goes over to Margot Robbie's house. She's gonna be like, this place is chock full of ghosts. Like, there are dudes all over. You have no idea. Like, you have a crowd of millions in your house. I do. Really? Yeah. I keep your clothes on. I think that's why they're here.

[Byron]

She covers her mirrors because she don't want to see herself in the mirror.

[John Holmberg]

She rolls over and wakes up and opens her eyes and there she is, like, jesus Christ. Anyway, stop that crap. You know what? Maybe we should talk to ChatGPT. At least it's a real thing. Sort of better than ghosts. And stop anybody. If you have a friend who's like, well, I was speaking to spirits last night. Just stop being friends with them. Stop making these people normal parts of society. They're not not. They don't talk to the dead. No one does.

[Byron]

Or just get out of her house before 3am Right?

[John Holmberg]

But don't look at that.

[Byron]

She knows it's gonna be easy because.

[John Holmberg]

Then Candyman shows up. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585 9, 800. A good one. And we'll scream it to the ghosts above. It's 98 KUP Wake Up. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said, fully erect, 98.

[Larry McFeely]

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[John Holmberg]

Want you to feel it.

[Larry McFeely]

Cue the emu music. Limu.

[John Holmberg]

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[Larry McFeely]

That may have been too much feeling.

[John Holmberg]

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[Larry McFeely]

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[John Holmberg]

Did she go somewhere?

[Larry McFeely]

Extended quilting trip.

[Byron]

Get more than just savings.

[John Holmberg]

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