08-13-25 - Reactions To Senior Assassins Game - HOA Bans Homeowner From Using Red/Blue Lights For First Responders - Ronaldo Gave His Fiance A 50 Carat Ring Proving Again How Normal Guys Can't Measure Up To A Woman's Ideal

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: August 13, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Release Date: August 13, 2025

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1. Realistic-Looking Fake Guns and Community Concerns

Discussion Highlights: The episode opens with a conversation about the growing issue of realistic-looking fake guns, such as squirt guns, in neighborhoods. The hosts debate the implications of these toys being mistaken for real firearms, especially by law enforcement and homeowners.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [01:50]: "Realistic guns will always be a problem. Realistic looking, fake guns. I don't get that."
• Dick Toledo [03:00]: "It's like playing ball in the house. It's fine until something goes wrong."

Key Points:

• Safety Concerns: The hosts express frustration over squirt guns without the traditional bright orange tip, making them harder to distinguish from real guns.
• Law Enforcement Perspective: A local cop's viewpoint is discussed, highlighting incidents where fake guns led to severe consequences, including a tragic case in Tempe.
• Community Regulations: The role of Homeowners Associations (HOAs) in regulating the appearance and modifications of such toys is debated, emphasizing the challenges of enforcing uniform standards.

2. Honoring First Responders: HOA Restrictions on Colored Lights

Discussion Highlights: The conversation shifts to a case where a homeowner was banned by their HOA for using red and blue lights to honor first responders. The hosts critique the HOA's decision, arguing that while the intent is noble, the method is flawed.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [04:00]: "What if the dude down the street wants to honor Chinese restaurants... anytime you want to honor something, you just change your light bulbs."
• Dick Toledo [06:00]: "It's probably good that you now know about it."

Key Points:

• HOA Policies: The restrictions placed by HOAs on the use of colored lights lead to a slippery slope where individuals might start honoring various causes, potentially leading to visual clutter.
• Authentic Appreciation vs. Symbolic Gestures: The hosts argue that direct actions, like volunteering or making donations, are more meaningful ways to honor first responders compared to symbolic light installations.
• Community Impact: Concerns are raised about the broader implications of allowing individual expressions of appreciation within tightly regulated communities.

3. Cristiano Ronaldo's Extravagant Engagement Ring

Discussion Highlights: A segment of the podcast delves into Cristiano Ronaldo's recent engagement, focusing on the extravagant 50-carat ring he gifted, sparking conversations about the significance and practicality of such displays of affluence.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [17:40]: "Did you see that thing? Look at this, Brett. It's insane. It's a car tire."
• Bret Vesely [27:18]: "Tell that story when you give it to her."

Key Points:

• Symbolism vs. Value: The hosts debate whether the value of the ring truly represents love or if it's more about impressing others.
• Relationship Dynamics: Personal anecdotes are shared about proposals and the expectations surrounding engagement rings, highlighting differing perspectives on what constitutes a meaningful gesture.
• Cultural Expectations: The discussion touches on societal pressures and the portrayal of wealth in relationships, questioning the real importance of such extravagant symbols.

4. Relationships, Proposals, and Gender Roles

Discussion Highlights: Throughout the episode, the hosts intertwine humorous and candid discussions about relationships, proposing ideas, and traditional gender roles within partnerships.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [23:15]: "Women should have screamed that. You imagine if you went home today and she said, that's it."
• Dick Toledo [35:37]: "I want to provide for you."

Key Points:

• Traditional vs. Modern Roles: The conversation often reflects traditional views on gender roles, with debates about men as providers and expectations placed on women within relationships.
• Humor and Critique: While much of the dialogue is laced with humor, there's an underlying critique of outdated stereotypes and the complexities they introduce into modern relationships.
• Personal Stories: Hosts share personal experiences and hypothetical scenarios to illustrate their points, adding depth and relatability to the discussion.

5. Community Engagement and Respecting First Responders

Discussion Highlights: John Holmberg shares a personal story about interacting with a Waymo autonomous vehicle, leading into a broader conversation about genuinely honoring first responders.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [06:00]: "We got that stair climb coming up, the 911 stair climb, which I did last year, which was awesome."
• Dick Toledo [15:30]: "The letters are on each knuckle."

Key Points:

• Authentic Appreciation: Emphasis is placed on meaningful actions, such as participating in community events like stair climbs, rather than superficial gestures like colored lights.
• Technology and Safety: The anecdote about the Waymo vehicle highlights concerns about emerging technologies and their interactions within communities, especially concerning safety and respect for emergency services.
• Community Unity: The hosts advocate for collective efforts to honor and support first responders, fostering a sense of unity and genuine appreciation within the community.

6. Audience Interaction and Humor

Discussion Highlights: Interspersed with the main topics are humorous exchanges and interactions among the hosts, providing entertainment and light-hearted moments throughout the episode.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [33:20]: "Rocco gave Brett's girl a black guy."
• Bret Vesely [46:34]: "You're up on that, aren't you?"

Key Points:

• Casual Banter: The hosts engage in playful teasing and humorous anecdotes, creating an engaging and relatable atmosphere.
• Relatable Humor: Topics range from pet mishaps to the quirks of daily life, resonating with the audience through shared experiences and laughter.
• Dynamic Interactions: The chemistry among the hosts adds depth to the discussion, making complex topics more approachable and entertaining.

Conclusion

In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, the hosts navigate a variety of topics ranging from community safety concerns and HOA regulations to personal relationships and societal expectations. Through a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and candid discussions, John Holmberg and his co-hosts provide listeners with both entertainment and insightful commentary on contemporary issues affecting their Arizona community.

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Note: All timestamps correspond to the provided transcript and are indicative of when specific topics and quotes occur within the episode.

Transcript

[Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Brady]

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[John Holberg]

It's John Holberg here from the Morning Sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and doughopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this, though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd have just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house, cash. As is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1-800-channel now. This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. It's still over 110 degrees outside and the political climate is just as hot if you've lost your right to possess a firearm due to a criminal conviction, we can help at Restore My Civil Rights. We help Arizonans restore all of their rights because constitutional rights shouldn't depend on the next election results. To book a free consultation, call 855- GUN RIGHTS or visit restoremycivilrights.com today. That's restoremycivilrights.com still streaming Homburg's Morning Sickness online at 98 KUPD Katie and the Hobbs there. Miles to Nowhere kicking off for you. Off we go. So I said those, those gun things are realist that I had two teenage boys outside my house last night both with guns and my first thought was, well, call the cops. What's going on? Then I went to go grab my AR and keep an Eye on it. Until I realized, oh, those are squirt guns. But at first glance, at Dusk doesn't look like a squirt gun. Yeah, see, that's what a cop just emailed me. Goes, dude, realistic guns will always be a problem. Realistic looking, fake guns. I don't get that. And I don't think it's a good excuse to say, oh, it's been going on for a long time. That cop that was on, I think it was out of channel 15 or something, and he basically said, it's like playing ball in the house. It's fine until something goes wrong, but usually something bad happens. Didn't they shoot a kid with an airsoft gun a couple years ago in Tempe? I think it was in Tempe they killed a kid who was walking around with an airsoft gun. Because those all. The only difference on those was the orange tip at the end.

[Holmberg]

Sometimes they remove them or they cover them up.

[John Holberg]

Cover them with black tape.

[Holmberg]

There's one email talks about that in Indiana or something.

[John Holberg]

Oh, this one said. This one here, this is. They've been doing it for years. They catch each other at stores. Only idiots are painting them black now. It says, you know, in case you don't remember, the squirt guns are usually bright colors. It's just a fun game for the kids and their parents. Plus, I heard it helped with places with actual gun violence. I doubt that. No. Just seems like, I don't know that it helps or hurts that I just don't, you know, I can't imagine Brett seeing a bear. Imagine a veteran sees a barrel of a gun come out of a car and aim it at somebody over at the Walmart and like, forget it.

[Holmberg]

Oh, imagine like, you know, like Kurt Vestley or Dan getting out of their car and seeing some little punk jumping.

[John Holberg]

Out, sneaking around and. Oh, my God.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. I mean, because they don't. They don't know about this kind of stuff.

[John Holberg]

Nope.

[Holmberg]

I'm finding out about it now.

[John Holberg]

So you just now knew not to shoot a kid who's got a gun? And what are you supposed to do?

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

There'S another thing.

[Toledo]

It's probably good that you now know about it.

[Holmberg]

It is. No, it is.

[John Holberg]

But it'd be better if the, like.

[Holmberg]

I just found out.

[John Holberg]

Isolate that to parks and stuff where you were supposed to, like where you're not supposed to just wander around parking lots and all other places.

[Toledo]

Right.

[John Holberg]

I never knew what the. I don't know. And I evidently wearing. God. And if it's for four grand Aren't the last two gonna end up pissing each other off? Like that's gonna end in a fight, right? If it's for a bunch of money.

[Toledo]

Or they'll split the pot.

[John Holberg]

Okay, well, then the last three, eventually you'll get down to the.

[Toledo]

I'll split it with you.

[John Holberg]

The last kid that didn't get paid is gonna come out of this thing pissed off. It's not fair. I hit Brett two weeks ago. You're gonna have those arguments, and the next thing you know, now you do have gun. Anyway, have fun with that.

[Toledo]

The commissioners are making money on it.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, well, if it's Toledo, be the commissioner.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Collect the money and skip town. Teenage commissioner. They're paying cash. That's great. There's another thing in the news last night. It's going to lead to somebody getting poked. Some dude put red and blue bulbs in his drive in his driveway to honor first responders and stuff. So he's got these red and blue light bulbs in his front, and he's like, it's for the first responders. I'm giving them a thank you. And the HOA is like, get him out. And so he calls the news. And I don't stand up for hoas too often, but you have to in these situations. And the reasons why is because there's better ways to do this than that. What if the dude down the street wants to honor, like, Chinese restaurants and he puts, like, a weird red and yellow bulb in, and then the guy up the road wants to do Mexican restaurants and he puts a red and green one in. And anytime you want to honor something, you just change your light bulbs. That's the whole purpose of living in a place with an hoa. Sure, noble cause to have to honor first responders, but if you allow one guy to do it, you got to let everybody do it. And the next thing you know, you got a series of goofed up purple light bulbs in honor of strippers named Alicia. Who knows what the hell. You're honoring everything. And I get it, but the dude was on the news last night. He was pissed off.

[Toledo]

Going to run into that more and more then with the. The forever light deals and.

[John Holberg]

Oh, that.

[Toledo]

You can, you know, program those.

[John Holberg]

Those are cool colors, but.

[Toledo]

Yeah, but I still go around, you know, the neighborhood, and there's people you're trying to figure out, oh, they've got this.

[John Holberg]

Who knows what you're. Here's the thing for me, this. This whole deal of these, like, our world is all about false gestures. Your light bulbs in the front yard to honor the first responders, go down to the fire department and then say thank you. Well, what is the. Like you're hoping they drive by your neighbor, your gated neighbor, they're driving by.

[Toledo]

They have no idea, no clue what's going on.

[John Holberg]

They're doing that for you. It's a pat on your own back. Like, oh, you've got blue and red lights on. You just look like a crazy person. Or you're super patriotic. I don't know what happened to us. Like. Like there's like, oh, I posted about it. I put up a post so the world knows that's for you. If you want to honor these people, take a day of your life and go over to firehouses and, you know, bug the cops for a minute. Just go, hey, just want to say thank you. I made you a cake. And you know what they'll do? They'll go, thank you, and they'll throw the cake away because lunatic would do that.

[Toledo]

But just go buy one.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

Don't waste your time here.

[John Holberg]

Just give them a gift card.

[Holmberg]

There you go. Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Office. I want you guys to buy yourself a cake. I didn't want to bring one because I know you'll toss it. But I just want to say thank you for all you do. Somebody in my neighborhood because we live close to a flag. We. Well, you're not allowed to do that with hoas either. And there's a reason why. Because you put up a flag for your thing and then now it's okay to put up, you know, Mark pies. Golden Gate flag is like, I love Chinese restaurants.

[Holmberg]

Don't start them again.

[John Holberg]

I know. And then you start going up and down. And then Brady's got his Viet shack flag up. You can't.

[Toledo]

It would look like a used car lot. I'd have so many flags up.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, but you got to the flag.

[Holmberg]

Inflatable guy with the arms and stuff, too.

[John Holberg]

I'm not a huge fan of all that stuff. I think on a sports day, you can put a sports flag up and take it down that night. I do that with my Steelers as I have a neighbor friend who's an Oregon guy. He puts his Oregon flag up. The gay neighbors, like the Broncos, the bucking kind, and you put they have their flag on Sundays and then we take them down and it's all good if it stayed up all the time. People like, what are you doing?

[Toledo]

My guess is our neighborhood, the American flag is allowed.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Year round.

[John Holberg]

Oh, there's people.

[Toledo]

Yeah, there's that Have A permanent poll.

[John Holberg]

That's fine. You can do American flags, but you can't do, like, a stein of beer.

[Toledo]

And then you see. You do see the. The team flags, but like you said.

[John Holberg]

They'Re not up the whole day for the game time. That's fine. And I think everybody's like, that's good, so long as it's not going to be up there all the time. But they're. They're coming down to the HOA. I hate HOAs, but they're right in this particular case, because you do one, you got to let everybody do it. And again, beyond that, what happened to us? What happened to us as a society? I want to honor these people, but I don't want to meet any of them. So I'll just do some weird false light bulb change out. And, you know, of course you're gonna get a rap on the door from the HOA guy going, what is this? What are you doing? It's for first responders. I'm gonna get it out. That looks stupid. And you're gonna mess it up, the whole neighbor. There's a guy down the street who loves mark pie, and he's gonna have Chinese lights, red lights up, just in honor of. So he could tell the Chinese delivery driver, hey, it's my house. The one with the red lights. Plus, it does look dumb. Let's go down there and honor. Do it the right way. Honor them. We got that stair climb coming up, the 911 stair climb, which I did last year, which was awesome. We got that coming up. You can sign up for that. And that truly does kind of, you know, it really does something and honors a thing. And you actually go through a whole rigmarole of things. And at the end, there's a beneficiary to it. There's like a charitable donation, but sticking a light in your front yard. No first responders. Don't stop and go, guys, thanks. This is pretty amazing what's going on here with this guy. Bought a couple light bulbs of color. Notice they didn't say colored light bulbs. It's not a thing. Go down there and say something to him. That's the way you honor first responders by saying thank you and getting hell out of their way the best way you can. Honor first responders. Pull over when their lights are on. Stop stopping in your lane. Get over to the right. I watched a waymo do it. I was in a waymo doing it. A fire truck coming at us. And I'm like, what the hell's this thing doing? Stopping and cutting off into the edge and going to the right the whole way. I didn't see the fire truck coming at us the other direction. I'm like, this thing, man. Does it get it? It went all the way to the curb, like, way across the road. Like, nice job, Waymo. One thing Waymo didn't do, which I absolutely found hysterical. There's a church up there by Rooster on Saturday. I left my car there to be responsible and took away my home and left my Jeep up there at Rooster. So it's Sunday morning to go get it. And there's a church called Impact Church next door to Rooster. You said it used to be like a grocery store years ago. Yeah, huge. And on Sunday morning, not thinking why, didn't even think about. They closed. Like, the road has to be like, they let the tractions and stuff. It's like, crazy. So I was going, evidently, right before the Safeway church services started. I didn't know what was going on. So, like, oh, this is a church. So the Waymo pulls into that parking lot for some reason and has to cut through to get to where my Jeep. I didn't know where my Jeep wasn't. It took a weird route to Roosters. And there's a dude doing hand signal traffic. Waymo doesn't. Wayman don't with that. He just like, nope. Move. And the dude's like, trying to stop the Waymo. And he's not in the Waymo's way. He's just standing in the middle of the road. And Waymo just blazes right by, like, nope. And the guy just throws his arms in the air. And the next thing you know, we're driving around in the Impact Church parking lot, dodging and weaving past. It looked like a Tyler Perry movie, I got to be honest. Like, the whole thing, like, just a bunch of Medea's running around. And it was weird. And then so it finally worked its way through. And I'm like, oh, they gotta work on that one. That's a. That's a Waymo nightmare right there. But, yeah, get out of the way for the first responders. When you see a guy in his EMT gear, say, thanks. A cop say thanks. Firefighter, say thanks. That's how you really honor them. Putting up lights at your house and getting in trouble. The HOA and then calling the news. Nobody ever thinks of that stuff. What if the dude down the road is like a Luigi Mangione fan and he wants to honor him and you're like, let's put up flags now. Okay, you put up a flag for that. He's gonna put up a flag for his thing. And then I know what would happen in those neighborhoods. That rainbow flag would go up somewhere in your neighborhood. And the next thing you know, we gotta stop this whole flag nonsense. Ken, have those things floating around.

[Toledo]

I can have my United Healthcare flag.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, and then the next door neighbor's gonna make. Because you can do that now. He calls the 4 imprint and gets a Luigi Mangione flag. Next thing you know, you got, you know, people fighting in the hood. Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from AMCO.

[Toledo]

Let's talk about back to school TLC for your car.

[John Holberg]

Larry, the last thing anyone needs right now is to start the school year with car troubles. Yeah, makes sense. What should people do? Head to your closest Amco. We specialize in back to school auto repairs for the busy school season. Plus we have a back to school discount for students and teachers. Yeah, but do you need to an appointment? Not at all. Just pop into your nearest AMCO or book online. Now that's convenient. Google AMCO for your nearest location. That's Amco double A MCO transmissions and a whole lot more. And remember, AMCO proudly supports Operation Hydration.

[Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast time again. It'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Eastside and Tempe at the Improv catch the always hilarious Carlos Mencia. Funny Marco will be performing his sets downtown at Stand Up Live and at the Desert Ridge Improv. You've got the one and only Annie Letterman entertaining you all week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com.

[John Holberg]

Wherever you go, whatever they get into, from chill time to everyday adventures, protect your dog from parasites with Cridellio Guatron. For full safety information, side effects and warnings, visit cordelioquattrolabel.com consult your vet or call 1-888-545-5973. Ask your vet for Cordelia Quattro and visit quattro dog.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Yeah, I just don't. I don't under these. These. These false gestures. These. Why are your lights red and blue? Oh, I'm honoring first responders. And then it's just so people go, oh, my God, that's so great. And you feel good about you. The only person getting honored in that situation is you. No, first responders are ever Gonna see that or care or. No, it's dumb. So many better ways to do it. The very least you can do is change your light bulbs to a different color. The second, and maybe it's a tie, is to post something on Facebook or Instagram saying, I really honor those people. Well, good on you. Do something about it. Find a charity. Be better. We kind of stink at that stuff.

[Toledo]

Even that. I mean, people still will put up a flag or a band, you know, like the cancer ribbon. You'll sure flags every now and then.

[John Holberg]

You know, but you got to watch flags in HOA neighborhoods, in all neighborhoods. Don't be the guy who puts up a flag, because you're just inviting other people to start supporting their stuff. And eventually, maybe everybody's perfect in your neighborhood. You're like, this guy's cop. Friendless guy's firefighters is emt. Oh, that guy loves. You know, he's got a breast cancer thing. And then that one, I guarantee, in neighborhoods are rainbow flag. Oh, I see. All right, Then the next one's like, oh, we're doing that LGBTQ plus. Then you get one that just says trans rights. And suddenly all these people who are, I'm supporting the U.S. i don't want that flag up. You're gonna find one flag you don't want eventually.

[Toledo]

I love unicorns.

[Holmberg]

I don't know if he's trying to scam a free meal or something, but Batman, our cop, he says, buy him lunch.

[John Holberg]

Buy them lunch. That's right. I've done that. I've seen guys in military outfits before sitting there. I'm like, grab your lunch. You just buy them lunch. It could have been some lunatic who just went over to the. You know, the surplus and bought himself a bunch of camouflage clothes and got a name tag.

[Holmberg]

What's it cost you? 15 bucks.

[John Holberg]

Exactly. And it was worth a shot. And you know who felt good in the end of that? Me. Deep down, we do that stuff for ourselves. That's a nice thing. But, yeah, this whole. And I'm. I never side with hoas, but take your stupid lights down because, you know, it's. You know, the dominoes start falling at that point. I'm gonna put up a flag that says, I absolutely stand by United Health Care. Uh, oh. Then Che Guevara goes up a couple houses over. Now you know who to hate. It breeds hate flags. Breed hate. God hates flags. I've said it once. I've said it a million times in my life. And another thing we got to get all over here is everybody needs to Start some sort of. Now that we have contact with celebrities and the fourth walls down, and you can just Instagram and slip into their DMs and do whatever. This Cristiano Ronaldo dude has ruined it for almost everybody. I don't know what you're thinking already. You're like the world's most handsome, successful, richest athlete ever. Did you see the ring he put on that girl's finger?

[Toledo]

Headlight.

[John Holberg]

Oh, my. My headlights on my Jeep are smaller. Like, I know that I could. Did you see that thing? Look at it.

[Toledo]

So it's $5 million.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. And that's low estimates. Yeah. That's like. People aren't sure. I don't know.

[Toledo]

Jewelers are chiming in, like, how many.

[John Holberg]

Slaves died mining that diamond? It's the biggest one I've ever seen. Here. Look at this, Brett. It's insane. It's a car tire.

[Holmberg]

What do you do wrong?

[John Holberg]

That's what I wondered when I first saw it. Yeah.

[Holmberg]

Because Kobe didn't even buy a ring that big and his brain was big.

[John Holberg]

I would like to see a woman.

[Toledo]

Turned down post nuptials, too.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Well, I know he already married.

[Holmberg]

Trying to hang out.

[John Holberg]

Get her another one. Yeah. Get a pink diamond. It was like the forgiveness diamond.

[Toledo]

Was it yellow? What? You want to.

[John Holberg]

I want to see a woman finally say, that's too big. Give it back. Never.

[Toledo]

And you won't.

[John Holberg]

You won't. Because it isn't about the string around your finger. It isn't about the unity circle. It's about whether or not their friends are gonna be impressed. And he's Ronaldo. So that carrots, he has how many?

[Holmberg]

50 carrots.

[John Holberg]

Jesus Christ. Yeah. Some dude in a swamp. Remember blood diamond, when he had to do the. He had to pick that one up with his toes and, like, hide it. Yeah. They're saying 3 to 5 million. I've seen a couple estimates that are like. It depends on where you get that. It's like, could be 8 to 10. Because he's Ronaldo and he's got a ton of money. He can't give her just a basic ring.

[Holmberg]

Good on him, though, you know?

[John Holberg]

I mean, she's not that hot, I'm going to tell you that. Oh, he. I'd bang him before her. He's perfect. That is. That is bad. And, you know, I feel most sorry for right there is like, school teachers and stuff, because women have the Internet and they see this stuff. And that's what I've. I've never understood it, ladies. I've never Understood it.

[Toledo]

You're saying he made 275 million last year.

[Holmberg]

So, Yeah.

[John Holberg]

I mean, it's dropping the bucket.

[Toledo]

Might have added to, like, I'll throw a little more at the ring.

[John Holberg]

Right. But still, isn't it about the symbol? It's not about the value. Or is it?

[Holmberg]

Oh, you're so cute.

[John Holberg]

I know. And I'm the one pointing this out, shining this big spotlight on it for the ladies. But that's who I feel sorry for. Like school teachers handing over a ring. Ladies. I've never understood it. You've got so much power and leverage, man. Again, I go through this room and I look at Brady and I look at you, and I think of me. I'm like, well, how in the world would anybody want to. Want to be with this at all when that's what really matters to them deep down? Who. It doesn't, or we wouldn't be with you. I know. And you're dumb. That's just dumb. If I was a woman.

[Toledo]

They're out there, John.

[John Holberg]

I know. And they're the dumb ones. If I was a woman, I wouldn't settle for either of you two knobs. And I like you both.

[Holmberg]

Well, neither. I mean, why would you and Ronaldo. Oh, please.

[John Holberg]

I would be working so hard on the local Ronaldo for me. Is it?

[Holmberg]

Yeah, I can tell.

[John Holberg]

I think she's saying, geraldo think you're very close to Ronaldo, but she thinks you're kind of a sensational television guy. Yeah. I would be working. I don't know who the local Ronaldo is, but I'd be. I'd be trying to find him. I'd be down there at the Diamondbacks. But I do what those girls do at the fall league. Baseball. Who's the biggest prospect. And then they parade around.

[Toledo]

Waste management.

[John Holberg]

Waste management. Open is exactly where you go.

[Toledo]

Barrett Jackson.

[John Holberg]

It's a woman's job to find that. It's a man's job to fool you. That's essentially what this is about. We have to make you think we're one of what you're looking for. You know, that's the. When you climb into my Lamborghini. But we can't go back to my house because it's getting fumigated. Then you know you've just been duped. Yeah. I got a issue. I'm getting it to painted. The whole house is painted. And so we can't go to my. Let's go to your place. Oh, I guess. All right.

[Toledo]

How much do you think that echoed with Annie Letterman? Who was here last week and she sewed her ring.

[John Holberg]

Oh, yeah. And I joked. I said, what's he doing? Teacher.

[Toledo]

Teacher line.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, it did hurt her. Oh, yeah. It's done. Because she deep down knows could be better. Things could be better. And then the Ronaldo ring flashes. I don't feel sorry for dudes because we know our lot. That's tough for women. Can you imagine being Ronaldo's wife's friend? And she walks in with that baseball diamond on her finger. Hi. Ronaldo and I are engaged now. Great. I see you got a ring from your. Well, I barely see that you've got a ring from your husband. Think about Toledo.

[Holmberg]

Cupid's Arconian.

[John Holberg]

One of the reasons Toledo is not going to marry with. And they're just. Imagine that the Tic Tac he'd put on her finger. It would be embarrassing. All of us.

[Holmberg]

Compared to that.

[John Holberg]

Compared to. Don't compare to Ronaldo. I mean, it's not helping. It just makes you realize what. Where the bread is actually butter. But Toledo's smart. He's like, nah, marriage is off the table, basically. He doesn't want to throw that out.

[Toledo]

He's done it before.

[John Holberg]

Right. But there's also a reason why we all have. Yeah. There's no reason for him to put another ring on her and have her friends giggle the whole time. Because that's what they.

[Holmberg]

You're the only first timer.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

We've all been around.

[John Holberg]

It's ridiculous. Yeah. The ring shouldn't. I think we should make. As men. We should be like. No. We should be the ones that conquer the idea of like, it should be a symbol and we should eliminate that. We should start going back to, like, strings or, you know, something tied to your finger. And then women wouldn't want it.

[Holmberg]

Elizabeth.

[Toledo]

The silicone band.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Something. Yeah. The rubbery kind of gummy band. Yeah. That's a nice idea.

[Holmberg]

The friendship bracelets.

[John Holberg]

Friendship. That's what it is. It's a. It's a ring of beyond friendship. It means more. Not to me. Where's the diamond? Where's the rock? Oh.

[Holmberg]

Women chiming in. Elizabeth said it's gaudy and asking to get robbed. Ridiculously ugly ring.

[John Holberg]

I think it's ugly too. But I think all big jewelry is. I'm not.

[Holmberg]

Ronaldo's not walking around by himself.

[John Holberg]

You can't. You can't put it.

[Toledo]

There's only so many settings that you could put.

[John Holberg]

Big blob is the one she chose like, oh, cool.

[Holmberg]

J's four finger ring.

[John Holberg]

Maybe yeah, Dan, you're right. Ronaldo's got security. So when they're out and about, she's not. Look, she's not running off to the Circle K real quick to grab milk.

[Holmberg]

No.

[John Holberg]

So if that ring's going to be pretty much only for the house and their. Their vacations to Ibiza.

[Holmberg]

John, have you ever seen any of Ronaldo's commercials? His underwear commercials are a little weird.

[John Holberg]

He's strange. But, dude, when he did that theragun and he started to hit his leg with it, and I looked at it, I'm like, wow. And then I realized I was half heart. I'm like, jesus Christ, what did I just watch? Perfectly shaped thigh muscle. Now, I'm telling you, if I was a woman and you handed me a 50 carat ring, I'm not gonna sit back and say, I don't want this. But, ladies, it's a mixed message because if Ronaldo had given her a string and said, this is a shoelace from my first soccer shoe, there'd be an awe. But she's walking around with a shoelace tied to her finger. After a while, people are like, well, that's Ronaldo. He should have bought her something huge. Like, it's all about what you buy. The fact. And that's why we should. I never said this in my life, so bear with me. We should all be more like Toledo. I know, I know. Hold on, hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. But he's smart. He and that Lisa, they've been together for years. No rings, no wedding. Why? Embarrassment. You don't want that. We'd tease him non stop. She walks in that dainty little finger and still it doesn't even cover up the bone. It's hilarious. I like when I see fat fingered ladies with rings that are smaller than their fingers.

[Holmberg]

The skin is just screaming off the circulation.

[John Holberg]

Like they've been putting on water weight since the day of the. Since the first bite of wedding cake. And then their fingers got fat and that thing is just dug in. They get to cut it off with, you know, landscape equipment. To get the ring off, you got to cut her finger off. That's what I like to see. But yeah, we should all think about that. Think about how wrong we've been. We should all be more like Toledo. And that's something you don't hear me say too often at all. Holmberg's morning sickness. Morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness. Try it. If you're about to get engaged, try it. Take something that means something to you. Make A gesture, and put it on her finger. And then my first wife, when I. When I proposed to her, I went and got a temporary ring because I was like, I'm going to do this, like, spontaneously, real quick. And I just told her, I'm like, this is it. She looked at it and she took it off, gave it back to me and said it was awesome. That was amazing. Now I need you to propose again with the real ring, though. Oh. And I'm like, what? I should have stopped right there.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

And she said, yeah, this was. This is. If this is not the permanent one, this. Then we have to do this again.

[Holmberg]

This is cute.

[John Holberg]

And all she was doing was putting pressure on me to ask her to marry her. And ask her to marry. Put the heat on. Put the heat on. Put the heat on. I finally did it. And she goes, I just want this to be. If this isn't the ring, then. Then it's then fake proposal. She needed a story, and the story was great, except for she couldn't show people that ring because it was just a temporary. It wasn't an engagement ring. It was just a temporary, like, symbol.

[Brady]

And I'll have you know the ring I purchased at mo Money pond from my first wife was incredible.

[John Holberg]

It was. Actually. You did get a great. And money pawn's the place to go. I mean, it may be a little bit of a black cloud over those rings.

[Brady]

Tell that story when you give it to her.

[John Holberg]

Did you tell her where it came from? Oh, I did not. Is she finding out today or. She knew eventually.

[Brady]

No, no, she knew eventually and she was okay with it.

[John Holberg]

It was a dead marriages ring. Yes. And you. And you brought it back to. Like Brady's doctors are trying to do. You brought it back to life and you told the ring low sodium, and it went, dad, it's nothing to do with why my last marriage ended. And then it was the exact same problem.

[Brady]

But they did tell me what the ring would have been at a new jeweler.

[John Holberg]

How much?

[Brady]

More than I could afford.

[John Holberg]

Okay. See, that's smart. Yeah. Mo Money Pond will take care of you. You're not getting one of them. Well, you might get a Renault.

[Holmberg]

No, they make brand new rings. They have a jewelry ring.

[Brady]

They can design it.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Holmberg]

You can place it.

[John Holberg]

Amazing.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Either way, you can design a Ronaldo ring there.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

The other thing is, you know, when you. After you buy the ring, it's just valued material.

[John Holberg]

Doesn't matter.

[Toledo]

The jeweler makes incredible design.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

No.

[Holmberg]

How much gold's in it?

[John Holberg]

How much Two carrots about it. Yep. You're gonna get nothing to do with what they do to it. Yeah. I have that one friend of mine whose wife got his grandmother's wedding ring and her friend started to talk about redesigning it and it got in her head and she just boiled that thing down to nothing and made a new ring out of it. And it. He infuriated him.

[Holmberg]

It should.

[John Holberg]

And it should. It was. It was a. It was a family heirloom. And she added like sapphires and moved stuff and put a new diamond in. He's like, that's not what I gave you. Yeah, but it's. This is more modern. Yeah. That's the whole point of giving you my grandma's ring. Didn't care.

[Holmberg]

Ma wanted my grandmother's ring. That's what she wears.

[John Holberg]

That's hers. She loves it. Is she Italian too? No, she loves it. Cuz that's what you told her to wear. That's right.

[Holmberg]

God damn right.

[John Holberg]

That's a good.

[Holmberg]

I've seen the one black eye that she's got now from the dog.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, that's right. I did see the pictures from the dirt. It was from Rocco.

[Holmberg]

It's from Rocco.

[John Holberg]

Brett's wife has a black eye and went out of their way to go on Facebook and Instagram to say, damn right.

[Brady]

I mean, the same eye that was blackened nine months ago.

[John Holberg]

Is that right? Dog's got it. Yeah.

[Holmberg]

The dog should have got the other eye. Give her a matching sex.

[John Holberg]

But yeah. Yeah. Dog leads with the right.

[Holmberg]

It was a different dog. It was the other Doberman.

[John Holberg]

Those dogs hate her.

[Toledo]

I train them good.

[John Holberg]

I got smashed in the head by Jack Ham once, my dog.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

And it blackened my eye. But not as often as happening at your house.

[Holmberg]

And clumsy. What do you want me to do?

[John Holberg]

And I didn't run off immediately and sort it out through social media.

[Holmberg]

Well, you should have.

[John Holberg]

I've had to cover the tracks. It doesn't look good.

[Holmberg]

I gotta explain it.

[John Holberg]

Sure. You can't just tell people, right? Yeah. Right away. But.

[Toledo]

She'S smart.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, that's right. This guy Lee says the more you talk about stories about your ex wife, the more I want to see her. She must have been pretty hot to get away with being such a miserable. Yeah, that. That. That night in the. That was a tough one. That was one where I think I rolled over and said, and you don't really want to do that on proposal night.

[Toledo]

Not good communication.

[John Holberg]

You really just want to be in the throes of passion and have candles instantly Light themselves. And all you hear is string quartets and stuff. You thought maybe this would be a good moment. And I did. I rolled over. I went, what a. That was a big move for me. She was screaming at me, you got to get married because of 9 11. She had mental problems from 9 11. She's like, I just need stability in my life. And all of a sudden I'm like, I get it. I know I've been kind of. But I need you to be in a good mental state. And you're currently having night terrors, so let's get you in the right spot before I say lock it down. And she goes, that would help me so much. It would help me so much. All right, so I think we're gonna get. So I did it. And my friend Mark's like, dude, everybody feels that way before. He's just gotta do it. Get out of the way. I'm like, you know what? You're right. I'm playing house. You might as well. And then, of course, I go through the whole thing. I think I said something amazing too. I'm pretty good with words. Laying in bed. I woke her. I don't want this to go another minute. This is something you've wanted. Something I definitely want. Plopped it on her. She's crying, Lights come on. And she goes, is this the ring? I know it's temporary. I got it this afternoon. Okay. And I watched her take it right off and hand it back to me, like, what? And she goes, do it again with the real ring. And I remember just like, from my toes to my eyelashes. I think I may have lit on fire. I think I may have actually been burning.

[Holmberg]

Should have married stubbings.

[John Holberg]

I should have married stabbings. That would have been amazing. Still together, by the way.

[Toledo]

You just lied to me about how important this is.

[John Holberg]

What do you mean? Oh, her. Oh, absolutely.

[Toledo]

Let's get together.

[John Holberg]

It was such. It was. And that was the thing. But here's the problem. She was on. On some sort of weird mental drugs from 911 to not have emotions, which was the one thing I was like, well, we're not getting married till you're off of those because. And rightfully so. 911 did a number on her. Haven't been at the buildings and stuff, so she was taken balancing pills. She had no emotions at all. It was a nice moment. And she's like this. No, thank you.

[Toledo]

She knows the crowd that she's running with. She can't put that on her face.

[John Holberg]

Well, at the time, she was running with my Crowd now maybe cigar ban you gave, right? It was beautiful. Actually. It was a nice little. But it was only like a hundred and. Oh, it was a thousand dollars, if I remember. It was 950something and went over a thousand. I'm like, yeah, the temp. I hadn't had time, but I wanted to expedite the process. No, this is a big deal.

[Toledo]

Two before. Well, I had it be so easy just to say, I don't know. Why can't you accept this?

[John Holberg]

Just take this one as a. As a beautiful gesture. It wasn't about that. But I was dumb. Yeah. Chicks are always asking. So let's see the ring. What do you get? You. Let's see the rock. I like that they call it the rock. They make it cute. And we. And it's our fault. It's not ladies fault. It's our fault for falling for that for years on it.

[Toledo]

Then they come home, just saw, oh, Danica's ring.

[John Holberg]

They see somebody else's ring.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah, look at theirs.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Sharpies. That's the key.

[Holmberg]

See them broads at Postinos showing their rings off and stuff.

[John Holberg]

The ones with big rings love to wave their hands around. Ronaldo's wife's gonna kill someone. She's gonna be waving that thing around. Knock a kid's head off with that. That's gigantic. It's like a. It's like an infant's head. It's. It's huge.

[Toledo]

Then the additional band.

[John Holberg]

Oh, then you gotta buy a second one.

[Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Toledo]

You're up on that, aren't you?

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

We had to put another band, though.

[John Holberg]

Don't do that.

[Holmberg]

But it's just a gold band, so it didn't. Wasn't crazy.

[John Holberg]

Megan didn't want that.

[Holmberg]

No.

[John Holberg]

She got the first one and get the second one, she goes. It's all clunky. Look how big it looks on my finger. And I'm like, yeah, no, we don't need this one. I'm like, okay, Lucky. Yeah. Rings are dumb. I think they look funny. I'm not a big fan of clunky jewelry anyway, but, yeah, Ronaldo kind of wrecked it for a lot of dudes on his soccer team. It's all your peer group. But now it's like, now the girls who are with Renault, I don't know who's like the third best player. Who's the. Who's the Scotty Pippen and Dennis Rodman of where Ronaldo plays. Whoever.

[Toledo]

That guy you got Messi.

[John Holberg]

Okay. But he's a big one. I'm just saying, like, who's the second or third one on his team? Oh, yeah. And then that guy's got a girlfriend, and she's looking like, oh, I should have boned Ronaldo. That's a good shirt. I should have boned Ronaldo. All women should have one.

[Holmberg]

Guys could wear that, too.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, every guy. Women should have that in their T shirt draw. I should have. That's a great shirt to get your wife for when she quits. And wear sweatpants in that same shirt every day with no bra. Just says, I should have. I should have boned Ronaldo. Because that's what they're really thinking. God, if I was a woman and.

[Holmberg]

They got the gray sweats on.

[John Holberg]

If I was a woman, there would be no way you two had a shot at all. I don't know what in the world ladies are thinking going, I'm gonna give Brady a chance. Or Brett or John. That's just dumb. Easy. Do nothing, wife. That's what you need to become. Why did you fight this, ladies? We. What were you thinking? I want to work and add stress to my life. No woman of mine's gonna work. You'll see. Why did you fight that? We as men were screaming that for centuries. No woman of mine will work ever.

[Toledo]

I want to provide for you.

[John Holberg]

I want to give you everything I've got. You're not getting it. You're not working. I need to. Idiots. No woman of mine's gonna work. We said it with pride. Other guys looked at you like crazy when your wife had a job because you weren't enough of a man to give.

[Toledo]

You're driven, and I gotta work.

[John Holberg]

I gotta have an identity. What the hell's wrong with you people? That's bananas. Bananas. I wish women would scream that. You imagine if you went home today and she said, that's it.

[Toledo]

Service and by request.

[John Holberg]

Right? That's it. And then they. Was that all I am to you? God damn it. Yes. Let me just answer that for all men. Yes, it is all you are to me. The. Could you imagine going home today? And Ronnie just says it. You know, I've been thinking about it. I want to. I want to provide every ounce of this for you. And you're not going to work another day in your life. I'd be crying for the tears. The tears would fall. And then you'd call me. You'd call me and I'd start crying.

[Toledo]

It happened.

[John Holberg]

We'd get on a chat, we'd all start crying. And then we look and go, brady doesn't have to work. Like we would fight the other way. Women fought to all go to work. What?

[Toledo]

She loves me.

[John Holberg]

He cares about me. This means something to a man.

[Holmberg]

Ward Cleaver was such a lucky guy.

[John Holberg]

Lord had it made.

[Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[John Holberg]

She didn't fight.

[Holmberg]

Nope.

[John Holberg]

She wouldn't talk to the other hens in the neighborhood. Dinner ready, dressed to the nine.

[Holmberg]

Jacket and slippers.

[John Holberg]

Crap on the floor.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Darren Bewitched.

[John Holberg]

Oh, that. They didn't even get married. Did. Oh, they were after a while. That's right. Holmberg's morning sickness. The one that I never understood was the I Dream of genie. I know Larry Hagman fought Marion that thing. I'm like, what in the world? This is. What in the world are you doing?

[Toledo]

He was pushing it on, playing hard to get.

[John Holberg]

Didn't start dating her till season six. What? Nelson and Healy would go out cruising for chicks when he had that genie at home.

[Toledo]

That genie's cuckoo, man.

[John Holberg]

She's nuts, man. So what this one says, I only asked my wife to marry me once, and she said she wasn't ready. So I told her after that, I'm not going to ask you again. If you want to marry you, you have to do it. But I'm not going to do this twice. We've been married for 13 years, and I hate that bitch more now than ever. Rocco gave Brett's girl a black guy. What Brett didn't tell you is Rocco is what he calls his left hand. Ms. Luigi and Rocco, which one do you want tonight? And get your Facebook post ready because it's going to leave a mark.

[Toledo]

The letters are on each knuckle.

[John Holberg]

This one. Dude, this is probably one of the most beautiful things I've ever read. So if I get emotional, bear with me. Thank God my grandma died. It's the only way I could afford a ring. Oh. Yep. Wow. Should be so lucky to have a dead relative.

[Toledo]

My brother's got the grandma ring.

[John Holberg]

This one says, turn the radio on and start driving to work. And all I hear is Homeburg talking about how he's in love with Ronaldo. You spelled it wrong. You're so gay, you'd have sex with Ronaldo. Still spelled it wrong. No, that's gay. I bet you shave every hair on your body. Not really an option. Kind of. Your God did that. And when you're watching porn, you probably slip over to the bisexual stuff. You guys rock. Thank you, bipolar listener. Yeah, that's pretty crazy, Brady. No friend of mine's gonna work. You're gonna live with me. I'm Gonna pay for everything in your life. Then I'm going to do it because you're not going to have to work ever.

[Toledo]

Well, there's a catch to this.

[John Holberg]

No, there's no catch. I just want you to be happy. And every once in a while, if you want to keep up with the house, that's great. You do some stuff around the house.

[Toledo]

My honor.

[John Holberg]

No, I don't like this at all. You got a job. No guy screamed that, you better get a job. Now we do. I don't understand that. I don't understand the 70s at all. Women should have fought. Women should be marching to go back. Like, Trump's right. Make America great. And women should be all over the make America great again thing. He wants to take it back to it. Black people shouldn't be. Because there's never really been a good time for you to go back to. Like. Like, black people should be like, no, it's going the right direction now. I'm not sure I want to go back in time. Women should be like, yeah, make America great again. What were we thinking?

[Holmberg]

Tony Soprano had it figured out.

[John Holberg]

It looked like a pretty good lifestyle.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

I think.

[Holmberg]

And normally else was always clean.

[John Holberg]

That's true. You say that about a lot of stuff, but I think you're right on this one. Tony Soprano was right. He seemed pretty okay, although he had a lot of anxiety.

[Holmberg]

He did.

[John Holberg]

But, you know, I mean, she's still going to give you guff, but there's.

[Toledo]

Some headaches with work, you know, but that's standard.

[Holmberg]

Yeah, it happens, you know?

[John Holberg]

Yeah. No woman of mine's gonna.

[Toledo]

Adventures, ladies.

[John Holberg]

Switch it back. You know what you are? You're right. It's time we gave you all the power. Start screaming out, no man of mine's gonna work and start providing for us. I think that's good. You said you heard that on Dave Ramsey yesterday. Some guy's wife has an inheritance coming her direction, and he called Dave Ramsey, like, I don't know what to do. She's keeping it. Like, the law says, it's all her. She's not gonna share it with me. He.

[Toledo]

He suggested that they together have a credit card debt. 25, 000, and she's inheriting 75 or 50 and says, why don't we just pay off the credit, rid of the debt and do that? And she's like, what? Why would you ask me that? That is my money.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, that's. You got to walk on that one.

[Holmberg]

Yeah, Cordell and Cordell.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, you got to walk and you Know what Cordell? And Cordell will tell you. She gets to keep that.

[Holmberg]

That's fine.

[John Holberg]

That's unsplittable.

[Holmberg]

You gotta keep it anyway. But the hell is it? I'm out.

[John Holberg]

And you get to be happy and.

[Toledo]

Get your other half.

[John Holberg]

Oh, she'll still get half your crap, but she gets to keep her.

[Holmberg]

Worth it.

[John Holberg]

Good. I think. Maybe. Worth it. I think you might be right.

[Holmberg]

Take the L. It's a winning.

[Toledo]

You're right on that.

[John Holberg]

It'll be the best money you've ever spent. Billy Thrall, who gave. He was the guy who did my first wedding. The. I don't know. What do you call him?

[Toledo]

Minister.

[John Holberg]

The minister, yeah. He did the first wedding. And he goes, yeah, it sounds awful, but your first wedding was so beautiful. It really was pretty. It's expensive too, Bill.

[Toledo]

That was a fun weekend.

[John Holberg]

It was a fun weekend. It was a nice time. It was pricey. And then, you know, she cut her dad a check for that too, before I was. Before I knew I was getting a divorce. She paid her dad back with my money for the wedding. I canceled that check, though. I made everybody really mad because that prick who raised that bitch when she said, I think I'm gonna leave. And he goes, I just spent a ton of money on that wedding. She goes, okay. And cut him a check for half and was gonna pay him back later. Luckily, her brother has some sense and he called me. Goes. I didn't like that at all. She wrote him a check right in front of us. I'm like, I'll just stop payment on that. I didn't know. Thanks for letting me know that I'm getting divorced, though. That's nice. I guess I'll find out when she comes back. Did you write your dad a check?

[Toledo]

Oh, my God.

[John Holberg]

Like I was the problem. Stupid 9, 11. Those terrorists, they had a right in her crosshairs and they missed her. How do you miss her with two planes? She was 6ft tall at first, that. She should have been right on the nose of that. That American one. Two planes, all the buildings, and she calls me at five. I mean, come on. I was happy that day. But in hindsight, you should be upset.

[Toledo]

At American Express too.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, that guy that was late for the meeting that made it so she wasn't up on the 83rd floor at the time. Son of a bitch. It all worked against me, Brady. I'm so mad at Al Qaeda for all the wrong reasons. Right in the crosshairs. How do you miss that? There she. I mean, how did they Miss that. Boom. There she was. No end up costing me tons of stuff. Thanks a lot, Bin Laden. I got a bone to pick with you, Bin Laden. No, I know. I know about the buildings and this. No, no, there's nothing to do with that. How'd you miss her? What are you talking about? Yeah, his ex was in there. Oh, I'm so sorry. No, that's the worst thing I've ever done. I apologize. I'd love to have a sit down with him and that number two that looked like Rosie o'. Donnell. You two morons. What a couple of failures. What are you saying? The buildings, they come down with success. Yeah, success. Let me show you success. She lives in Texas now. Oh, we missed one. Yeah, you missed one. Can we replace a few of those firefighters with her? And plenty fine with that. Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats this morning?

[Holmberg]

Wake up Stop. Brought to you by Action Ride Shop, of course. And, well, we've been talking about it for a while. I'll keep bringing it up. It is a little warm now. It's cool enough a little bit, but time to ride at night. Or at least at dusk. Wow.

[John Holberg]

Glorious.

[Holmberg]

Action Ride Shops can get you dialed in.

[John Holberg]

It's like 95 tomorrow and it's going to be great back out there, so.

[Holmberg]

Hit the trails early. Or if you want to do a little bit of night ride, Action Ride Shops got you all dialed in with all the lights, all the gear you're going to need. Pads, helmets, you name it, they got it. Plus if you need that old bike fix because it's been sitting there all summer, well, they got the best wrenches in town. In two locations, of course. The OG on Gilbert Road in Southern, a brand new one Raft. The Hawse trailhead at power Road and McDowell. It is action Ride Shop.

[John Holberg]

What you got up there, dope?

[Holmberg]

Die, mother Effort. Die. For the. The game that they're playing in Gilbert over there.

[John Holberg]

The Goons. It's the Goons theme.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Them running around with guns with each other.

[Holmberg]

Veruca salt for Brady. Denial for Brady.

[John Holberg]

Let's get Brady some more sodium.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. Nine Inch Nails. Discipline for Brady. Non point bullet with a name for the. For the game. Eat it from Weird Alpha Brady. Might as well the pizza song from System of a Down.

[John Holberg]

Great.

[Holmberg]

Hell yeah. I don't care anymore. For Brady, Dead and bloated. For Brady, Salt Shaker from Yin Yang Twins since they're playing in Gilbert. And for Brady.

[John Holberg]

And didn't you hear the doctor that told Brady, diet has nothing to do with your body's health. What's wrong with you, broad? It's.

[Holmberg]

I'm with him on this. And. And it's Dr. Miller, not Dr. Patel. So. I mean, come on. You gotta put something into that.

[John Holberg]

You got a white woman as a doctor. The only thing you took out was like, you're gonna be fine. Your kidneys were bad anyway. There's nothing you can do to slow this down, add to it.

[Holmberg]

And when push comes to shove from Jackal for Brady, I think I like.

[John Holberg]

Denial by seven Dust.

[Holmberg]

Okay.

[John Holberg]

And some of this still lays on you, Bert.

[Holmberg]

I'm going to make sure he doesn't.

[John Holberg]

Overdo it to go to Viet Viet shack tomorrow and watch him.

[Holmberg]

He's going to order this place, and we'll go to a different place tomorrow.

[John Holberg]

You need to watch, though, is his interaction with Tong when you're not around. And he orders the. To go. Tong booby. Yeah. Why? You mean to go. Shh. Calm down, Tom. Shut up.

[Holmberg]

Here's the keys to my car.

[John Holberg]

So here's what you need to do. Take it out like I got it to go. Say that. And then go out and put it in my car outside. It's the sky blue family truckster. It's outside right now. Go out there and put it in the. And I'll take it home. He's gonna Ralphie. These spring rolls are delicious. Dog Ross. Sodium like you said, Brain. Thanks, Tom. I have delivery to Sky Brew Truck Stop. Oh, crap. He said which car? You aren't driving a Scott or not. Is that still your sky blue truckster outside?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

The loner. Is that a loaner car? Okay. Because that might be the ugliest color I've ever seen on a car.

[Holmberg]

You've been on a loaner more than you've been in your car.

[John Holberg]

What's going on?

[Toledo]

Ac.

[John Holberg]

Your AC went out. Yeah. You. You literally have the sky blue one that Chevy Chase wanted originally in vacation. Remember the one he bought with sky blue and then. Then they brought him a green one because his wasn't ready.

[Toledo]

It's always good when you're at your car. And it's been across the board, 100 women. I love the color of that.

[John Holberg]

Of that blue car.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

It's a chick's car. You popping out of that thing goes with the outback. Yeah, it's very outbackish. I mean, it's a nice car. It's just not the color I. As a man, some testosterone in my body would have picked, but it's a loner. There's nothing to do. They just kind of throw one to you like. Great. I had to drive a one of those Dodge Caravan that was that color for a little while.

[Holmberg]

I'd have walked.

[John Holberg]

I almost left.

[Holmberg]

I mean.

[John Holberg]

And that was. That's what.

[Holmberg]

They didn't live in Gilbert. What are you doing?

[John Holberg]

That's the day I learned a Dodge Caravans have powerful engines.

[Holmberg]

It's fine.

[John Holberg]

Spin the damn tire.

[Holmberg]

That's fine.

[John Holberg]

The day I learned never tell a guy at a loaner rental spot. Whatever you got, just throw me something. It's only a couple of days because they'll give you the worst thing in the world. And he did. It was the. It was horrible. But I did also notice through that time that MILF's like a dude in a sky blue Dodge Caravan because they assume you've got like.

[Holmberg]

They already got kids, though. What are you doing with that?

[John Holberg]

She liked it? Yeah. Well, yeah. I didn't want. I didn't want anything to do with them. They're expired, but.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Wrecked again. I go right back to it. If Ronaldo liked my sky blue Voyager, I'd have been. Come on in here, soccer boy.

[Toledo]

Here we go.

[John Holberg]

Here we go. Them smooth ass, shaved legs, they're beautiful. It's denial for Brady. Get him some salt. It's 98KUPD, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98K UBT in the time it takes you to actually board a flight from Group 8 now boarding Premier Altitude Elite club members. You could have bought a Hyundai on Amazon. Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-603 for more details. Limited availability pickup through participating Hyundai dealer in select markets.