← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
08-14-25 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD
02:59:44
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- [00:00]
John Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
- [00:09]
Brett Vesely
Touchdown deals are happening now at hooters starting at $10.99 per person. You can grab a Hooty's Pick 3 your choice of an appetizer, entree and a drink. Dig into crispy fried pickles, juicy wings or a cheeseburger and wash it all down with an ice cold fountain drink or upgrade to a cocktail or buzz balls for just a few bucks more.
- [00:25]
John Holmberg
Don't forget to pick your player with.
- [00:27]
Brett Vesely
Big daddy drafts of Michelob Ultra or Bud light for only $4 or DOS Equis for just 5 do dollars. Hooters has the food, drinks and game day vibes. Hooters, where the party always kicks off.
- [00:38]
John Holmberg
Hey everybody, it's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time once again for the pick of the litter. Brought to you by our friends at Turf Monsters a.com this week's pick the Litter is a special little guy surrendered by his family because financial woes made it so they just could not give little manufacturer a great life. A little bit older, it's a Bichon poodle mix. Smart as a whip. Check it all out. Lost our home.org or 98kupd.com it's the pick of the litter. It's Larry McFeely.
- [01:09]
Randy Sklar
Just had my annual Mission Beach San Diego vacation. Full of sand, sun and yes, Toyota trucks.
- [01:14]
John Holmberg
Mission beach lifeguards don't mess around.
- [01:16]
Randy Sklar
They roll with Toyota Tacomas, Tundras and four Runners as their official lifeguard vehicles. Why? Because they need serious capability, dependability and.
- [01:23]
Dale Hellestrae
The power to protect the coast.
- [01:24]
Randy Sklar
And right now, it's the national sales event at your Valley Toyota dealers. Which means it's the perfect time to grab a Toyota TR built for adventure.
- [01:31]
John Holmberg
Whether you're hitting the beach or the.
- [01:32]
Randy Sklar
Arizona backroads, visit your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadeealers.com toyota let's go places.
- [01:38]
John Holmberg
Hey Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.
- [01:42]
Randy Sklar
Brett I sure do.
- [01:42]
Dale Hellestrae
It's M and P Guns customs. MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsman. You can select our designs or make up your own.
- [01:57]
John Holmberg
Well, can you do this to my gun?
- [01:58]
Dale Hellestrae
We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no wait.
- [02:05]
John Holmberg
Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscustoms.com It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness, and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group. And Doug hopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this, though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd have just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house, cash. As is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online at doug hopkins.com or sing hopkins1,800, now still streaming Homburg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com I have way too much meat in my mouth to start the show. 93.3 old easy. I'm sorry. Take a bite of a delightful meat stick.
- [03:11]
Dale Hellestrae
That's how you start it.
- [03:13]
John Holmberg
All right? So good morning, everybody. That should be how they start every show. It's time to stuff meat in your mouth. Oh, yeah.
- [03:21]
Randy Sklar
93.
- [03:21]
John Holmberg
Three old easy. Anyway, here we go. Hi, I'm John. There's Brady, there's Brett, there's Toledo. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We were just talking about that on the song Fuel. I've met several people who think the lead singer of Fuel actually wrote the words blee blah blah blah down thinking that's what it's. I watched it once. I think it was on VH1 where they called it the blee blah, blah, blah song. Really? Yeah. It was just in a thing I said, and I. It's one of those songs that I remember playing it back in 2000 at the zone that I. At that radio station. I'm like, it's clear as a bell to me. I think he over enunciates that line. But people hear blee blah, blah, blah. I didn't hear it until you just brought it up.
- [04:01]
Randy Sklar
And I'm like.
- [04:01]
John Holmberg
And then you can hear it now?
- [04:02]
Randy Sklar
I can hear it.
- [04:02]
John Holmberg
But it's weird because you would assume, like in your brain, you're like, why would any guy who writes music or has music important to him get to the Chorus of a song and go, I have no English words here. Blee blah blah blah in my hands. Blee blah in your hands. But love lies bleeding like I hear it.
- [04:20]
Dale Hellestrae
I never knew what the words were that he was singing. Yeah, I just assumed that, you know, you're looking at the lyrics and go, oh, that's what he's saying. But I think he's singing it lazy.
- [04:29]
John Holmberg
He's just going, it is completely. To me, it is over enunciated. Like, I think he's overdoing that line. I just hear. The reason I think people hear bleed blah blah is because he's so on the words. But it's. And it's weird. People hear things completely differently. Our ears are not built the same at all, which is crazy. But sing it how you want. Blee blah blah blah's fun, but don't think that's actually it. Don't think you're right because there's no way anyone wrote down blee blah blah blah. Like you said. Bruce Springsteen did not write. See, man, blinded by the light. Wrapped up like a douche. Another. That's good stuff. America's gonna eat that up. Like, nobody gets wrapped up like a douchebag.
- [05:13]
Dale Hellestrae
Although that thing that does it is maybe I think in there a Red Hot Chili Pepper song where he kind of just. He's not saying words. He's.
- [05:22]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, no, there's word. There are times when bands just.
- [05:25]
Dale Hellestrae
It's like. But it makes you think. Is he trying to say something there or is it.
- [05:29]
John Holmberg
Yeah, no, there's times when, when like dopey lyrics get thrown in there, but when it has a follow up line like, in my hands. You can't, you can't imagine the dude saying blee blah blah blah in my hands. And then the producer's like. You ever come up with a phrase there? Nope. All right, we'll just leave that. We'll release. We'll release it with blee blah blah blah.
- [05:47]
Dale Hellestrae
Yes.
- [05:47]
John Holmberg
Think of it, you know, when it's too late. We recorded it. I mastered it. Blee blah blah blah. It is blee blah blah blah in my hands. Blah blah blah blah. No, not what he's doing. Anyway. Sing whatever you want. It doesn't matter. We've all seen the Internet and the memes of Asians trying to sing Oasis. I mean, they don't know what's going on either. I watched one the other day. I think it was China, maybe Korea. And they don't know what the hell the words are. But they were singing an Oasis song. It was a man and a woman and they can barely. They don't speak any English. They're just going on what they think is being said. And they're standing in a desert in like karate outfits or some sort of ninja. They're missing the point of they have no idea what the song's about at all. And it's Wonderwall, I think. I don't know what it. But it's hilarious because this dude and his wife, I assume his wife, maybe sister, could be anyone, could be a brother, I don't know. But it was like missing the point completely on some Asian television show and it's hilarious to watch. The music strikes you how it strikes you. That's all. No big deal. I got an interesting email. It's got me thinking all morning. What? What in. Because I, you know, I lament the, the management and handling of radio affairs in, in every aspect from the day I started in 1995 to today and how I witnessed sort of the peak and demise of how this thing could be run. And it got me because the other day at the Windsor with Doug Hopkins, a woman who was probably in her 30s, just dismissed the entire industry with I'm too young for radio. Like, it was taken. Like it was not ever built for that. And that's, that's the fault of programming and, and you know, over analysis and management and the way that when. And I think we all were around in the early 2000s when giant companies like CBS and I Heart at the time, they were called Clear Channel and all these others came in and just absorbed everything and homogenized it down to like, this is what people want. This is the only thing we can give them. And this is. And we watched radios kind of life die with a few exceptions.
- [07:57]
Dale Hellestrae
It was all about the ratings.
- [07:59]
John Holmberg
It was all about the money. It didn't even matter about ratings.
- [08:01]
Dale Hellestrae
They were just, they were in oriented ratings.
- [08:04]
John Holmberg
But they milled that system, they milked how to do it so you'd have one station that did well and then you just make that station in 30 different markets. Nothing was original. Everything was overanalyzed. Everybody on the air was told to shut up. Everybody on the air was told that they were unnecessary. And meanwhile all you guys said, one thing we don't care for in mass are ads. Do something about it. And they didn't. They just said no and they didn't. And for some reason an entire generation grew up saying, why would anyone do that, listen to multiple ads in a row? I don't. It doesn't bother me because I grew up with it, so it's not a thing. But I could see where a whole group who had options would say, I'm not doing that. But we dismissed it to the. Then I started to think, what did they. What has been. What has been taken away that I missed the most? That was kind of the question about radio. What's the thing in this business been kind of taken away the most? And you know what it is? Huh? Fun. Well, no, I still have fun.
- [09:00]
Randy Sklar
No, not us. Not us.
- [09:02]
John Holmberg
Oh, for listening. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think. Yeah. You know what? Got it. And this kind of falls in that phones. We can't play with you anymore because of the Internet. We can't like do like at least like the blee blah, blah, blah. Thing got me thinking about it again is because we used to do things like what are the lyrics and what do you know? Like if you know just basic trivia stuff and think it has to be so hard, it has to be Google proof that it stopped being fun and it became this cheat code that it was just weird things. So yeah, kind of the, the aspect of interaction went away because you guys cheat. You guys are liars and you're cheaters and you try to come up with stuff that's like interesting but it gets so convoluted because it. It. You can't use your phone and you know, you call up and start spewing off politics. So I think the Internet beyond.
- [09:56]
Dale Hellestrae
I think, I mean I think we interact with.
- [09:59]
John Holmberg
We interact with. But we're not like we try more than because of.
- [10:02]
Dale Hellestrae
There's three people on, you know, the email.
- [10:06]
John Holmberg
But we don't play with them anymore. We don't play with them anymore. Yeah, you don't go outside and play with these people anymore because we can't. Like you try to and somebody will cheat it and then the next thing you know you got hundreds of people who are angry. I didn't Nick. I used to be like, of course he did. We can't monitor that. So those are the things that kind of pull back on. It's like, well, we can't have as much fun as we used to because you guys cheat the games. Like you take game shows away when everybody starts cheating on them because you can't do it. So I do. I don't miss it completely. I still like this a ton. But that's one thing like, oh, that used to be a blast. That used to be like the dopey contestant trying to figure something out on their own. Is over. Because the second somebody gets stuck, they go to their phone.
- [10:45]
Dale Hellestrae
Oh, yeah.
- [10:45]
John Holmberg
You know what I mean?
- [10:46]
Randy Sklar
Yeah.
- [10:46]
John Holmberg
Yes. We still interact, but we don't interact on that level. We interact on who. What we pick and choose to interact with. It's not a random pull. And so that question that the gene asked me was like, what do you. What do you think that, like, is different from day one to today? Like, oh, it was completely. Whenever we did something that was fun, jump right on the phones and have people jump on with us instead of. Instead of, when we get a call, go. I saw a meme that did exactly that same thing. It's like, oh, I saw that once on a meme. I'm like, okay, thanks. And people destroy the Internet.
- [11:16]
Brett Vesely
Makes every guy.
- [11:17]
John Holmberg
Right?
- [11:18]
Brett Vesely
Seen it already.
- [11:19]
John Holmberg
I saw that. Oh, you guys are talking about that one time. I saw. Because everybody's got an answer rather than a comment.
- [11:24]
Brett Vesely
But also, that's how we found Tom 38.
- [11:27]
John Holmberg
Oh, sure. People. And that's still alive. You can still do that.
- [11:31]
Randy Sklar
Oh, yeah.
- [11:32]
John Holmberg
It's just a little harder. So what. Just asking, does it change? Does it make things suck? No, but the thing that I missed the most about that was, I guess not the interaction part, but the blind interaction. Like, I don't know where you're going to go, and you don't know where I'm going to go. And we can still do that on the phone, but it's a lot harder. We used to do with fireside chats. Now that is too political. Like, people will inevitably call and go, I want to talk about Trump talking to Putin. I don't know. We got to. So, yeah, that, you know, and answer that question. And the 30 years of doing this. That was at one point. But you know, who ruined that, too? Radio executives. Phone calls are the death of radio. Don't. Because a lot of people can't do it. A lot of people don't know how to interact. And I still listen to shows. That fake one with like a salesperson calling up, hey, what was that thing you just did? Stay tuned because at 5 o', clock, I'm gonna do it again. And then Madonna starts playing and you're like, oh, my God, it's disgusting.
- [12:24]
Brett Vesely
Not only that, they did the national contests where call this 800 number and think that you're. You're playing locally and you're playing.
- [12:30]
John Holmberg
You got no chance. Ye. Oh, they've done. Look, we go down a laundry list, things they've done wrong. Oh, yeah, but that's, you know, for me, that's the. Probably the thing I think of. And I'm like, yeah, we used to. We used to be able to play.
- [12:40]
Randy Sklar
So I'm saying, have fun.
- [12:41]
John Holmberg
Have fun.
- [12:42]
Randy Sklar
And.
- [12:42]
John Holmberg
Yeah, and it got kind of wrecked by the Internet. And that's not the radio people's fault. That's, you know, that's not. That's just. That's the fault of the Internet being so readily available at all times that if, you know, if you were on who wants to be a millionaire and they let you have a phone, it would go off the air, like, in a day. We can't do this because the first person we talked to, that used to be, like, a struggle. The best game we've ever played on this show ever was sending people to Vegas with us on that. And we had unanswerable questions about us that couldn't be Googled. What high school did Brady go to? God damn it. These jackasses have taken away my abilities. And we. And people ate it alive because it was challenging to an individual not to, like, I'll just dance. I'll just ask my phone. It puts you on your toes.
- [13:26]
Brett Vesely
I thought you said our peak was going to be what's your name?
- [13:29]
John Holmberg
And what's your name was a game for a while, people struggled with what's your name? We took four or five calls to go. Bucky. What's your name, though, on your belt? Oh, it's Timothy. That's not. Never mind. You lose.
- [13:40]
Dale Hellestrae
Yeah, there's just a handful of games that, you know, 5 and 10.
- [13:42]
John Holmberg
5 and 10. We can do stuff like that. Yeah, but you can only do that so many times.
- [13:47]
Randy Sklar
Right?
- [13:48]
John Holmberg
But yeah, that's only.
- [13:49]
Dale Hellestrae
Do you know song sound bites where they name, like, seven in a row.
- [13:54]
Brett Vesely
And that's that anymore because of Shazam And. And Soundhound and all that.
- [14:00]
Dale Hellestrae
You got to be really quick on that.
- [14:02]
John Holmberg
This guy says, good morning, John, but please realize your audience, especially at this time, they don't know what these words mean. And how many of them have googled those two words alone. Lament and convoluted. Stop saying them. See, and that's the other thing. Everybody, because of their phone, thinks everybody else is dumb.
- [14:20]
Dale Hellestrae
I like those.
- [14:21]
John Holmberg
Dud, lament and convoluted.
- [14:24]
Randy Sklar
Yeah, yeah.
- [14:24]
John Holmberg
They're the starting backcourt for the Charlotte Hornets now. Lament ball and convoluted ball. That's their good team. I'm sorry. It's quality team. It's. Yeah. So you ask and I answer. So it was just one of those things that kind of Stuck to me. I got another one. Plus, back in the day, our phones actually worked. Well, that's so. I mean, that's another thing. Well, don't get me started on that because the phones being digital are great for office workers. They're amazing. But for this, the technology doesn't work. But we won't let that go and admit that the old technology is better. Because if you admit old technologies, better people go, you're still using that. And it makes, it makes engineers and smart computer guys go, I have to be at the head of the curve or I'm going to look like I don't know what I'm doing. Rather than just have something that work. You have, you have the latest tech that doesn't. But it's still impressive to the people that you want to impress.
- [15:13]
Dale Hellestrae
And to bring someone here and just.
- [15:14]
John Holmberg
Get the old switchboard going, man, it would work. It would work so much better with the cords plugging in and stuff. Transvania 5, can I help you? Yes, let me plug you in. Thank you. An operator. Are there even operators anymore? Can you dial 0 and get a person? I don't even think there are. I don't think there's telephone operators anymore. I don't think you meet a kid and go, what's your mom do? It's like she's an operator. And yeah, I didn't say dad because it was a girl's job. Yeah, it's not like, it's not like hearkening back to an old better time. It's just something that over time disappeared. And it's kind of interesting to see that. I mean, and it doesn't hurt that they didn't, you know, help any up and coming radio people learn how to interact on the phone. They just took it away from like, don't do that. Phone calls are terrible. The people. Even talk radio doesn't do it anymore because they hardly ever go, let's go talk to people. They do real quick, like recorded stuff. Most of the time it's different. It's weird. I got another email from a guy who Brady. It's about you and I. It says, john, this is, this is the power. When you talk about loving Brady and what he's going through, I see deep into your childhood, it's your dad coming out. And it's effective. It's revealing that when trouble or bad news hit you and you ran directly towards it as a family or at least as a dad. Am I right? I bet you hear your dad when you show Brady your love. Because I hear my dad when you do it, and honestly, it makes me cry. I lost my dad in 2019, and anytime we had adversity, he powered through it. If it went sideways in life, he sort of brought a mean realism to it and made us all stronger. So I guess what I'm saying is, Even though I'm 46 years old, will you be my dad? Because you reminded me so much of him. He said today, but yesterday, aaron, I will. I'll be your father. Because a 46 year old is exactly the age of a child I want in my house. I don't want anything younger than that. That's the youngest. I'll go. Thank you very much. Yeah, that is very much my dad. Don't be a jackass. Let's go. You've got a problem. Let's face this. Let's knock it down. You make an error, you pick it up. You throw a pick, you go back in and throw again. You get told, don't eat salt. Don't eat goddamn salt, mother. That's the thing. But enjoy via shack today. That's what it is. I worry about the kid. And that's love, damn it. That's all it is. Speaking of love, also, football season, right around the corner, saw a story that brought tears to my eyes. A widow. Did you see that? Yeah. Yeah. It's a beautiful thing. A widow of a Steelers fan. Her husband died at age. Well, we'll get to it. Jesus Christ. Toledo gets to dies at 55. She wants to keep a little piece of me. Had sleeve tattoos. He had tattoos all over his body. She's like, what's it cost to keep one of those? So she cut out the Steelers logo that he was so happy with. This is pure fandom. No Cardinal fan's gonna do this to their dead husband. Carves out the part of his skin, goes through some sort of a weird process to, you know, keep it forever. Frames it, has it on her wall, and it's gorgeous. It's this dead man. She skinned. Her husband right there, took his tattoo by his request, and he asked for it. That's the best part. He's like, hey, when I die, frame this part. Do not let this logo go into the earth. This does not. This is good stuff. Carved it right off. He had hundreds of tattoos. The one he cared the most about, the Pittsburgh Steelers. And that's how fandom works. That's the way it is, baby. That's. That's what you're supposed to do as a fan. Your kids. Nothing creepier than Having your kids faces tattooed, your body, I'll tell you that, that's gross. But Steeler stuff, forget it. You never put that dumb cardinal logo on your body. And anybody wants to save that, they're happy to bury it if you want it done.
- [19:19]
Dale Hellestrae
Save my ink forever.
- [19:21]
John Holmberg
Yeah, there's. There's a place that's like, you know what? This is the thing. 30 million views on TikTok of this process. She put it up there and how this happened and how they preserved the dude's tattoo. And damn it all, that's fantastic work, man. It's the only tattoo I would ever get. I don't want it because I want to decorate myself with just one. If I'm going to do it, it would just. I'd cover them. I'd put it. I just have a Steelers uniform just tattooed to my body. Almost had a D backs one. Almost had a Brady in the center of my chest. And usually it would have to be a punishment for me to do a Steeler tattoo. It's the only one I've ever thought I would do. And I almost did it once, but the guy said I was too drunk. The tattoo artist had some sort of moral obligation to not make that 85 bucks that day. It was a long time ago. And I said, I'll give you extra. It's like, I'm not tattooing you. You're too drunk. You'll bleed. Like, I'm gonna lay down on your chair and you're gonna tattoo it. And my idea was to have. This is how bad it was, and I. I should go back and find this guy. It was Jack Nicholson in the Shining cracking through the door. Yeah, right. And he was supposed to come out of my calf for some reason. No reason really whatsoever. Also, he had a shirt, like, at a Steelers logo on it. Like, as you see, here's Johnny coming out of the. And it was the dumbest idea of all time. But when I saw the him coming out of the calf, I'm like, I want that. And let's include some Steeler stuff in it too. I considered having just a Steelers logo on my calf. And then I started to think to myself, what if they move? They probably won't. But that's what people in Cleveland said. That's what people in Baltimore said. So people in Houston said, what if they move and you're stuck with a Steelers tattoo? And now they're the, you know, Nashville Steelers. You have a White Sox. They talk about moving all the time. Yeah, you can't get a White Sox tattoo and have them move down and become the Memphis. Well, they won't even be the White Sox anymore. I don't know why they even try that. I'd have it removed. And I know that's more painful than me, but I would have it removed. Totally agree with you.
- [21:37]
Dale Hellestrae
Redskin helmets.
- [21:39]
John Holmberg
Oh, Redskin helmets are gold. That's that. Keep that frame that even if you're still alive. Cut that out and get that. Same with Chief Wahoo if you got that too. Oh, you're an Indians fan. I might get a Chief Wahoo. Anyway, I'm not even an Indians fan, but Chief Wahoo is awesome. Yeah, you can't do that kind of stuff, man. You gotta gotta be smart about it. And Steelers nation, tip the cap. Football season's right around the corner. It's tough to top that fandom. Cowboy stars, stuff like that gay bar.
- [22:08]
Dale Hellestrae
I learned something about the Buffalo Bills. The name.
- [22:10]
Randy Sklar
Yeah.
- [22:11]
Dale Hellestrae
And it was watching this documentary on when America was expanding west. So one of the reasons the people of the United States were clashing with the Indians going through there, they had a problem. And the Indians, the main tribe, Shoshone. The.
- [22:32]
Randy Sklar
Land.
- [22:33]
John Holmberg
The damn plane. What are you doing? This is Larry McFeely and we all know August in Arizona is brutal.
- [22:45]
Randy Sklar
We're talking triple digit temps that'll melt your flip flops. But Toyota trucks, don't sweat it.
- [22:49]
John Holmberg
The tacoma tundra and 4Runner are built.
- [22:51]
Randy Sklar
To handle that kind of heat.
- [22:52]
Dale Hellestrae
I've taken tundras across the valley and.
- [22:54]
John Holmberg
Up into the mountains. No issues, no drama, just pure performance.
- [22:57]
Randy Sklar
In the blazing sun. Right now is the national sales event at your Valley Toyota dealers. So it's the best time to gear up whether you're escaping the hot weather.
- [23:04]
John Holmberg
Or working in it. These trucks are made for the Arizona heat.
- [23:07]
Randy Sklar
Visit your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com.
- [23:10]
John Holmberg
Toyota let's go places. We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to M and P Guns?
- [23:16]
Dale Hellestrae
The choice is simple, Brett. M and P Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection. Handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact, right now all pre own firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have ammo ink 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.
- [23:35]
Randy Sklar
Well, it sounds like MMP Guns is.
- [23:36]
John Holmberg
Committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.
- [23:40]
Dale Hellestrae
That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian school or online at m and p guns.com It's Brady from the HMS crew for game Day Men's Health, the valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations. You should do what I did and schedule a complimentary appointment, which is quick and easy. You'll meet with a board certified medical director and figure out treatments that can help you whether you need more energy, medical, weight loss or sexual health treatments. Game Day Men's Health clinic is a true game changer. Go to gameday phoenix.com and schedule your complimentary appointment today. Get back in the game with Game Day Men's Health.
- [24:17]
John Holmberg
Morning sickness.
- [24:19]
Dale Hellestrae
They lived off of buffaloes.
- [24:20]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah.
- [24:21]
Dale Hellestrae
Sherman. General Sherman, who was vice president time, sent American buffalo hunters and said the only way we can get them to get off this land is decimate.
- [24:32]
John Holmberg
Kill the buffaloes.
- [24:33]
Dale Hellestrae
Kill the buffaloes.
- [24:33]
John Holmberg
Take their food away.
- [24:34]
Dale Hellestrae
So they're named after the buffalo hunters that were contracted over there to slaughter buffaloes.
- [24:39]
John Holmberg
The buffalo slaughtering crew. Yeah.
- [24:41]
Dale Hellestrae
Sweet and Buffalo Bill Cody. Yeah, Nicknamed getting killed over 4,000 buffalo.
- [24:46]
John Holmberg
He was the one that was. So basically we treated the Indians like we do scorpions. If you take away their food, they'll leave.
- [24:53]
Dale Hellestrae
That's what the plan was. So don't you think. I mean, if that's the history of the name.
- [25:01]
John Holmberg
I mean, it's worse than Redskins.
- [25:03]
Dale Hellestrae
I think so.
- [25:04]
John Holmberg
But does it make it worse? Well, I mean, the Redskins won in the end because they beat the Bills in the super bowl back in the early 90s, so I guess that's even. Now I bring up the tattoo thing, Brady, mainly because I'd like you to get a Steelers tattoo just in case. Then we can carve it out and I can get it put up on my wall. If you wouldn't mind.
- [25:24]
Dale Hellestrae
Get it tanned.
- [25:25]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I would like that. Like a. Well, we get you tan first and probably in a spot that's not like moly or hairy. I don't want to shave it off or see like a skin tag for the rest of my life. A smooth part of your body, maybe a thigh, you know, arm perhaps.
- [25:40]
Dale Hellestrae
Yeah, he had it on his sleeve on his right arm.
- [25:42]
John Holmberg
I don't care about him. I'm looking at you. That's not gonna remind you of Brady. I know. I don't care about. You need a brisket tattoo and then I don't want him. I don't care if it reminds me of Brady. Oh, I want Steeler Skin stretched out from a human being on my Dexter style. I want that up on my wall. Okay. And he's the closest one to, you know, the thing. And we could carve it off. Skin's pretty fresh. It would be the ultimate act of love for you to get that for me as you, you know, Viet Tong yourself into tomorrowland. It's up to you. I'll pay for everything, including. What do you care? Once you're gone, let's just carve that part out and then we'll shove you in the oven and all is good. And we'll go slow and low in your honor. Once we. When we start to cremate, I think that's slow and low for Brady. I think we'll. We're not going to do that. 1875. We're just going to crisp you. How about we just throw you in there at about 580, roll about 580 for about 12 to 13 days. I think that'd be really nice. I think that's good. Instead of that 2 hour 1900 degree oven that just come on. Nobody's interested in that. That nice smell that you're gonna. You're gonna. It's gonna. You're gonna let out a nice stink, but you're gonna have one chunk of your arm missing.
- [26:57]
Dale Hellestrae
Is that how long it takes? 2 hours at 1900 degrees?
- [27:00]
John Holmberg
Yeah, like an hour and a half.
- [27:02]
Dale Hellestrae
I think it'd be quicker.
- [27:04]
John Holmberg
You would think so. But they got to get it down to nothing. Bones and stuff. Bones take a while to. And that temperatures, you know, it's pretty good. I think they, they. Some places will try to cut corners into the 40 minute burn. Still got a mortician show, remember? Yeah. Yeah. Putting 12 people in there, it would take a little longer. But you get them in there and then you. And then you got to sweep it all out, clean it for the next guy. It's. It's a process. So this guy said. I would have bet my wife that Brady was heading towards the direction of the Bills being named after Buffalo wings. Because there's only one thing heavy on his mind right now. Things he can never eat again. That's probably true. But you got him tonight. You can watch people eat. Brady's gonna go out there tonight to native, which is ironic that they serve buffalo wings. Now that your story's been told and.
- [27:53]
Dale Hellestrae
We'Re gonna destroy some tonight.
- [27:55]
John Holmberg
Something called native. I mean, we. You're not supposed to do that. No, you're not getting any of those. Brady gets none. And everybody who Goes tonight. Keep smack it out of Brady's hands like it's poison. Tonight, signal business. No, don't mind your own business. Don't mind your own business. Smack it out of his hands. Signal. But in baseline tonight with Brady. He's going to be out there Native grill and wings. And after Brady told the story about how he got rid of the natives by using buffalo bills, we're gonna celebrate the wings and the natives all back together again. It's. It's, you know, it's 979 bucks getting handed to you by the folks over at Native. That's pretty good. And you get out there, handle the heat, eat the wings, go crazy. I believe two and a half pounds was pretty much the common number. And then you. You win all sorts of stuff. You get free food. And again, like I said, go to the Native tonight. Say you want to be part of the contest, get yourself five pounds of wings for the weekend. And slow by slow, eat a couple of them, tell them you got a tummy ache, and walk out with a bunch of wings. It's great. So you don't win. Good chance to say goodbye to Brady. Just in case all of it applies tonight. So head on over there. Signal butte and baseline with Brady tonight as he watches you eat wings. You are now the Toledo of food. The way Toledo cuck sex. Brady now has to cuck food. You get to watch people eat things you love to do, and you're not allowed to have it anymore Strong. And if there's a tattoo artist, maybe bring your equipment down there and throw a Steelers logo on Brady's arm so I can. I can stretch that out and put it on my. And then at your name underneath, just say Brady d. Brady Bogan. 1835. 2025. And it'll be stretched out on this big shadow box. Would be beautiful. Beautiful stuff.
- [29:37]
Dale Hellestrae
Could just put it like. It's just sewn through, like a thread. Almost like the.
- [29:43]
John Holmberg
You want me to go with it?
- [29:44]
Dale Hellestrae
Like a dream catcher. You know, they web it up.
- [29:47]
John Holmberg
Do you want to do that instead?
- [29:48]
Dale Hellestrae
Yeah, we could.
- [29:49]
John Holmberg
You would like to have it thread sewn into your arms. I don't want a Southwest Steelers thing. I want the real one. But I like the idea that we could get some sort of tapestry sewn into your skin that I could have.
- [30:02]
Dale Hellestrae
You know, you could have a Steelers drum. It could be the top of the skin on the drum.
- [30:06]
John Holmberg
Oh, there's just enough of you that we could do that. A big enough Steelers logo on your back, stretch you out and make Some sort of a weird tribal drum out of you. Okay, good idea, man. I didn't expect pushback, but I certainly didn't expect brainstorming, man. Oh, man. All right, we'll do that. We'll stretch you out. That'll be good. Also got to find out where Brett's going a little bit for the operation Hydration, the penultimate. I believe this is the second to last one you'll be doing. You'll be doing. I think we got three left, right? And we're going to break the million bottle mark for sure. Account yet? Well, yeah, well, not account right now, but the people over at Phoenix Rescue Mission. Sean has been on a little media tour telling everybody this is a knockout and 91,000 bottles a week are going out the door. That's how many they use. So we've done this. Think about that. That's insane. We've gone for. And a lot of times you don't even realize that it's for the person. It's. They wash with it sometimes because they got no other option. I know that sounds terrible. That's the way it is. And these people are trying to make their lives, but they still work. They're homeless and they work. So they're like. They'll go behind a tree with one bottle of water and try to make themselves at least a little bit cleaner to go to work, to wash their hands in the sink there. But they can't just go wandering in with a night of sweating in the park stink. It's crazy when you start talking to them, it's like, man, these people are. There's a lot of them that are just doing the best they can, trying really hard, sleeping in their car, and it's 100F outside. So 91,000 bottles a week is what the rescue mission's doing it. We started this memorial day. That's four weeks of June, four weeks of July. Here we are two weeks into that. That's ten. That's a million, right? We're at 990, 910,000 bottles out the door already. We've given them 950,000. That's nothing left. Isn't that unreal?
- [32:09]
Dale Hellestrae
And we provide them basically with 11 weeks of water. If they're going through it at 91,000.
- [32:14]
John Holmberg
Well, that's what I just said. Yeah. You go through the whole. We're at week 10 right now. Yeah. And if we hit a million, we get two weeks. They're going to be right on pace because 910,000 at this point, with 91,000 going out the door every week. They've got a few weeks left, tops. And, you know, it goes on all year. They use it for other things. But that's mind blowing because we're sitting here watching this much come in. You're gonna have water for years. Nope. They're already, like, almost out. Every. Every week, you guys bring us 50,000.
- [32:43]
Dale Hellestrae
It's getting used.
- [32:44]
John Holmberg
They're 40,000 down. That's crazy. And we shouldn't have that issue. We should not have. At the very least, you know, there's arguments for homelessness and all sorts of stuff and drugs and how. Look, I'm with you. Like, it's. It's nuanced. A lot of things can be true at once. But water, the basic necessity being at a supply like that is unreal that we go through that much. 91,000 a week they use. That's huge. So, Brett, your job today. 91,000 bottles. Does that include all the bottles Dale's jacked from us since he's been here? No kidding. Yeah. I wonder how many have gone without. Because Dale steals it a case every once in a while, but he's got to stay hydrated, too. And that's a lot of wasted body space to stay hydrated. That's a thick man. Anyway, thank you, guys. Because when you think about charitable endeavors, every one of them, and I say this about all of them, when I do stuff with the dog rescues and humane society, things like that lost our home, I always tell them, I'm like. It's like you guys are constantly climbing an ice mountain. You're going up an ice mountain.
- [33:55]
Randy Sklar
It's.
- [33:56]
John Holmberg
You're never going to see the top at the pace we're currently on. And that's them too. It's like this never. And it's amazing to put yourself in the brains of the people that are like, I don't care that my job has no ending, that it's the cyclical, constant climb that we're not going to. We're not going to see the mountaintop because the problem won't go away. It's amazing. And so you guys are helping that in a huge way.
- [34:20]
Dale Hellestrae
Huge way.
- [34:21]
John Holmberg
Massive. This Guy said at 6:11am, John, this is the phrase you used. The person I was expecting pushback from, but not ideas. We're gonna stretch Brady out.
- [34:38]
Randy Sklar
Yeah.
- [34:38]
John Holmberg
All right. We'll stretch Brady out before he dies. That's for sure. We'll let all the audience do it, too. Tattoo artist, I need you tonight. Let's get a wake up song, find out where Brett's going for that. Another 91, 000 out the door today. You call us 585-9800. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.
- [35:00]
Randy Sklar
98 KUPT.
- [35:05]
John Holmberg
Still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online@98kupd.com. Alrighty there. It's Miles to nowhere getting you through Thursday morning already. Geez Louise. Flying by. And here's something that I think we can all as, as a group of. Before I get to that, I want to say my pool, my trying to learn how to play pool thing. And I've been asking, like, I need somebody who's good at it. And that Carrie lady emailed, and she said her husband would help. He's really good, but she volunteered him. And he's got two planes. And I really started to think, these are people I should be friends with. And then her husband's like, no. Like, he doesn't listen to the show. He does his. He's flying around too much. And so she listens all the time. And he's like, I'm not doing that. I don't want to meet a new friend. Don't. Don't do that. He's like, us. Yeah, exactly. And that's why I said. I say, your husband and I would get along great. That's the cr. I would say the exact same thing he said. So she starts telling me. She goes, my husband doesn't want to do it. And she goes, but here's what you got to do. And she starts breaking down, like, things about pool that she knows she can just stance or wing your elbow. You do this, and I'm like, wait a minute, what about you? Like, you sound like you know what you're talking about. She fires back, and, Brett, you're gonna appreciate that. She goes, I would, but I'm abroad. So.
- [36:19]
Brett Vesely
I was just gonna say that.
- [36:20]
John Holmberg
I was like, okay, you're gonna take lessons from abroad. I'm gonna take pool lessons from abroad. Says, I'm sure your on air personality closely resembles your real one. And after listening to you for years, I'm pretty sure neither of your personalities are keen on relying on an unwashed person for anything you find worthwhile. Get some of your friends together. Host a class taught by actual instructor instructors. You'd learn more doing that than you ever would from whatever pudrucker I like that who's able to convince you he's safe, but has actually just been itching to Tell you about his favorite butt plug. You know I'm right. Don't subject yourself to these peasants, John. I'm not saying all of them are bad, but there are some who would definitely be questionable. And questionable. It's not enough. Tactical. Black taught you that the general public is a frightening public indeed. She's right. Stop being cheap Jewish. Hire somebody.
- [37:09]
Randy Sklar
I like this broad.
- [37:10]
John Holmberg
I do, too. Google Billiard University. I'm sure they could get you in a private class at your house or alone with your friends. That's a good idea. She says, by the way, I've been trying to make the word broad popular since I moved here in 2002. Brett using it is proof that what I've done is working. Not all women are broads. But I tell you what, all broads are most definitely women. There you go, Kerry. Everybody in this room loves you. You're great. That guy's a lucky guy to have her. Yeah, you know, I mean, wonder she got. Not often I say that, but guy's lucky.
- [37:41]
Randy Sklar
Why?
- [37:42]
John Holmberg
She married a guy with a couple of planes that. Well, yeah, that's not so bad. And it's because of her attitude.
- [37:49]
Randy Sklar
She knows.
- [37:49]
John Holmberg
She knows her place. I'd teach you, but I'm abroad, so.
- [37:58]
Dale Hellestrae
Her husband.
- [37:59]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah.
- [37:59]
Dale Hellestrae
What are you doing?
- [38:00]
John Holmberg
What are you doing? Telling people I'll come over? No, I don't know this guy. And he was right. That's the answer I would have given you. Don't volunteer me. But I did ask. She's right. Stop. And that's the answer. Now stop being a Jew. Hire a guy like I do with, like, my stance on food trucks and restaurants and things. You hire someone from a company so if it goes sideways, you can at least sue the company. You got somebody to go after. Some random schmo comes by and starts clubbing you with a pool cue. It's like, well, I asked for this. That aside. Thank you, Carrie. That was very nice. You're a good broad. She's a good broad, Brett.
- [38:38]
Randy Sklar
There you go.
- [38:39]
John Holmberg
Good broads. Thanks, toots. All right, now that we've heard from Sweet, let's get to. Let's get on with the show. Brett's heading out today and he's going to leave soon.
- [38:50]
Randy Sklar
Yeah, yeah.
- [38:51]
John Holmberg
You got to go to Signal. Butin. I'm right in the hood here. They're on the same day you were right down the road. 48th street in Indian school. If you remember last year, this is the one where Kristen went to Goodyear instead. That's right. Is she doing it Again, I don't. I hope so. Me too. I hope that she fails. I literally sat there for two hours drinking coffee, looking at Arcadia moms walking in and out. That's a good Safeway. Yeah. Oh, it is. They hop up early. They take those kids over to that. That elementary school that no kid's allowed to walk at. They're all floating around with moms picking them. I think. I think their moms actually come and pick them up for recess and drive them around. I don't think those kids ever touched.
- [39:26]
Dale Hellestrae
The ground about the driveline.
- [39:28]
John Holmberg
Oh.
- [39:28]
Dale Hellestrae
Oh, my God.
- [39:29]
John Holmberg
They don't bitch about it. They love it. Because it's better than the option of their child ever walking anywhere. That elementary school is. That's got to be the house of the laziest. You know what? I'll never. I make the prediction. No professional athlete ever comes from that elementary school because They've spent age 5 to age 12 never walking anywhere, ever. That Arcadia Elementary. Is that Kiva. I don't remember which one it is. I used to live over there, and I was blown away at how happy people were to go pick their kids up a quarter mile away. I'm like, he lives. I can see the school from here, so I gotta go pick him up. Why? Somebody's gonna kidnap him. And the kidnap, they get human. I'm like, I've seen your fat little kid. They're not picking that thing up. That's. Your kids are too fat to pick up nothing but Escalades and Range Rovers with hot moms over there. Yeah. The last thing a child abductor wants to do is go out and buy a weight belt to try to get your kid off the ground. He's not doing it. It's bad for his back. It's those skinny hot ones that get kidnapped. You're not. Don't worry about it. Chunks McGee needs to walk it off, get him a fudgical, and have him fatten up and walk a little bit at the same time. And that way he's. You know. Your kids aren't abduction worthy. I see most of them. Trust me, nobody's eyeballing your kid like you think. But those Arcadia moms, they're getting eyeballed. Oh, yeah. Big way. And then they shoot over to Little O's next to Oso and have their breakfast because they don't have jobs. We're in their Lululemons, and we're talking about their next charity event that they're. They're on the board. So that's an awesome safety Big ball.
- [41:02]
Randy Sklar
Got a big ball.
- [41:03]
John Holmberg
They got something putting together. They're doing it over on their house on Exeter, and it's going to be amazing. 48th street in Indian School. That's where you go and you eyeball those Arcadia moms. Oh, yeah, that's a good stuff. That's real money over there, too. Those people are. That's no joke. 48th street in Indian School. Get the water out. Get Brady. Get. Not Brady. Let's not say Brady there. Get Brett. All taken care of. He's got falling in reverse tickets a day to remember. You're going to help people out. Yeah, you're right. Down the road. You're fine. You can stick around. Leave at the last second. It's enough already. I think I'm going to speak for everybody in the world. Enough. Enough. Enough with the mother Minnesota Vikings. Male cheerleaders. That's enough. That is enough. They are not groundbreaking. They're not breaking any sort of glass ceiling that men have been trying to achieve. This is just twinks they hired to be cheerleaders and that's it. There's nothing more to this. That's fine if you want it. But no fan of football. I'm gonna say it out loud. Not a single fan of football has ever looked at the cheerleaders and said, be better if there's a couple guys out there. This is. This is appealing to no one. This is. Gays can enjoy it if they want to, but there aren't enough of them to necessitate gay male cheerleaders. Unless it's like in college when they're toting around the girls, when they actually have a purpose. These dudes are dancing the same cheer routines as the girls are. And because everybody's afraid to say no one wants it, by the way, it's Hopi Elementary. You're right. Thank you, Craig. And no one wants it. Then they're going to keep doing it. The Rams started this a couple of years ago, and everybody looked past it because it was L. A Minnesota, which people think is the heartland, which it's not. It's a wildly woke, liberal, crazy town is throwing gays up there to do the skull dance. Nobody wants to. You know, Mark did this in the.
- [42:55]
Randy Sklar
Early 80s with the Broncos.
- [42:57]
John Holmberg
So this isn't groundbreaking at all. No one. And they're there. And I'm fine with it. I don't care that there's male cheerleaders. I don't care that there's cheerleaders. I happen to watch football for football. And I also know with pornhub now. When I had Cardinals season tickets, I used to take binoculars. I had good seats on the 40 yard line. Upper deck, first row was great seats actually. It's like excellent. But I would bring binoculars to look at the cheerleaders asses because there was no pornhub. This was an. This was a strange environment. So on off times I would. And they. The Cardinal cheerleaders used to have their pants used to crawl up and by the third quarter, second quarter, a lot of times they were in thongs. And that wasn't common then, but now I know for a fact the NFL is not going to put these girls in sexy outfits. Not sexy enough. They're basically old school lingerie, like big granny panties and you know, pantyhose and skirts that cover everything and big shirts. It's not hot. The cheerleaders are pointless. I was at the Raiders game last year when the Steelers played the Raiders and the Raiderettes even are pretty, but they're pageant girls. They're just move, move out of the way. You're in the way. I can't see. Mike Tomlin. We're football fans. We're not there for you at this point. So the cheerleaders could go away altogether.
- [44:15]
Dale Hellestrae
But do you think they'll get more coverage? The Vikings?
- [44:17]
John Holmberg
Oh, of course. They're already getting it.
- [44:18]
Dale Hellestrae
It's all over the news when the season starts.
- [44:20]
John Holmberg
No, because nobody cares about the cheer squad.
- [44:22]
Dale Hellestrae
Every once in a while they go down and show the cheer squad. Now no. What about your experience that you had with the Suns?
- [44:30]
John Holmberg
Oh no, I'm not. Look, Brady, I'm not saying they're not possibly going to be really good at it. I'm saying there's no call for it. There's no reason. No football fans go to that stuff. We laugh at the cheerleaders for the Suns. And then we noticed that the one gay guy was the best dancer I may ever have seen in my life. That was different. Since then. They're hilarious again. It's just girls who are unafraid to like too scared to be strippers. They want to dance like strippers, but they want respect at the same time. It's just not going to happen. The cheerleading thing in professional sports is. Is hilarious. Unless you're Cowboys or Raiders. It's hysterical. Like you're just sad. The Dolphins have a couple of outfits and stuff, but for the most part your pageant girls who won't let go, adding guys to the mix. They're trying to act like this is some sort of societal moment.
- [45:19]
Dale Hellestrae
Cutting edge.
- [45:20]
John Holmberg
It's not. It's terribly stupid, and it's time we just eliminate it. I say, I personally think eliminating cheerleaders from football in the pros is. If you're. Because there's too much sexy in the world. They're up against it. They don't have. They can't. They got no weapons. You got pornhub. You got. Every girl at the beach wears a thong now. Like, you know, it's normal. Tmz, for crying out loud, is more salacious than, say, it's not getting the pop that. Well, you're also not allowed to act like it's sexy. There's too many eggshells you got to walk around on. If you start talking about how hot the cheerleaders are off these two, you know, I start talking about how hot the cheerleaders are, you sexualize them, and suddenly the NFL's gotta be like, it's.
- [46:01]
Jason Sklar
Not why the women are there.
- [46:02]
John Holmberg
They're talented dancers. I'm like, okay, there's too many eggshells. At least girls on the beach flashing their ass know that they're there to flash their ass. These girls are, like, trying to get credit for being dancers. And now there's two dudes in Minnesota that. I mean, it's a twink festival. And they may be incredibly talented female cheerleaders. These guys might actually be. Exactly. But they're. Look, that's the reaction. Just because gays infiltrated something doesn't mean it's groundbreaking. Sometimes it's annoying.
- [46:33]
Dale Hellestrae
Can we at least go full mean machine? Get a squad.
- [46:36]
John Holmberg
My solution.
- [46:37]
Dale Hellestrae
Tracy Morgan. Headley.
- [46:38]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Oh, I'm. Yeah. Look, if you're gonna do it, like, the longest, give me a D. Give me. Yeah. All I want is a D. I'm fine with it. Here's what I say you do. Don't mingle them much. Like, we're trying to have no men and women sports. Let the ladies have this. Let the cheerleaders be ladies and then have a male cheer squad of just all dudes over in a corner for the gays. Don't mix them together.
- [47:04]
Dale Hellestrae
Double it.
- [47:05]
John Holmberg
Don't mix them. The ladies are the ladies and the men are the men.
- [47:08]
Randy Sklar
I like that.
- [47:08]
Dale Hellestrae
Two squads, right?
- [47:09]
John Holmberg
Two squads, and then for a quarter. And I'll tell you exactly what's going to happen. For a quarter of the football game, the ladies take off, and it's all fellas cheering out there. The laughter will bring these twinks to tears, I guarantee it. Because it's funny.
- [47:24]
Dale Hellestrae
It'll get competitive.
- [47:26]
John Holmberg
It's funny. Like, a guy in a dress will always be funny to me. A dude doing cheerleading dances is funny to 90% of men. We do not find it entertaining. And when we do, it's because it has to be extraordinary. It's still funny. It's still hilarious. But these two dudes are on news, and it's like, how do you feel about being these types of pioneers? Lewis and Clark and these guys are in the same. We're defining them the same way. It's just amazing what we can do. Like, yeah, you're a good dancer. Now do what you do with dancing. Take it to a gay club and, you know, start blowing dudes with it. That's why you learn to dance. Go to Broadway. It's chock full of you guys. But putting it on a football field. And I'm not saying it. It's because I want to be bigoted towards that. I'm saying it because I'm speaking for the masses. And this is going to end weird. Somebody's going to say something they shouldn't say. The NFL is going to be like, all right, stop calling our male cheerleaders. We've had it. Any fan that calls a male cheerleader will be removed from the thing. And then you're like, all right, so now we got to work. Get them off the field. Help. Don't invite the problem. Hey, Byron, I was looking@mmpguns.com's website. You have everything, and the prices are incredible.
- [48:49]
Dale Hellestrae
Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys, and more. The best part is, if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.
- [49:01]
John Holmberg
Wait, there's no backorders?
- [49:03]
Dale Hellestrae
Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.
- [49:14]
John Holmberg
Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP.
- [49:16]
Randy Sklar
Guns.com all right, HMS podcast time again.
- [49:19]
John Holmberg
To let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Lots of entertainment coming to town with Vinnie Guadagnino of Jersey Shore fame. Coming in Friday and Saturday to stand.
- [49:29]
Jason Sklar
Up live at the Desert Ridge Improv.
- [49:31]
John Holmberg
Up north, you have the Sklar Brothers. Thursday, Friday and Saturday at east side.
- [49:35]
Randy Sklar
At the 10:00pm Prob, it's Steve O.
- [49:38]
Jason Sklar
Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's.
- [49:48]
John Holmberg
John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the core. He's not going to be back on the court immediately, but in a few months time he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain you've been living with the Core Institute celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do. Again, go to the Core Institute.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness and I've said it for years, get the ladies off the field. They're no longer we can't sexualize them and we don't care about them. They don't add to the game. They cheer when the team's down. They don't even know when. They're like they're just dancing out there for no reason. Get them outside. As a true fan of football, a Pittsburgh Steelers fan, one thing the Rooneys have never done and it has a lot to do with the fact that the Pittsburgh audition would be brutal. They've never put cheerleaders on the field. Never done it. Steelers have an oh really? Never ever. There's it's twofold open auditions for Pittsburgh Steelers cheerleaders would cause an earthquake on the east coast. Second, they're like, you're here to watch that. You don't need extra. That black and gold thing that's going on in the middle of the field is why you're here. We don't need to entertain you on the side. How long till it turns into a WNBA and they start throwing things on the field? Well, Brett, you're making my point for me. You're inviting Jack Asery and oh by the way, NFL, quit acting like we're supposed to behave ourselves when every advertisement in your stadium is beer. You want us to get a little bit drunk and behave. Meanwhile, warriors on the field that get our our emotions going more than the love of children and please behave. Oh by the way, here's a couple of twinks dancing for you. Don't say anything about it. It's like, oh no, you guys are trying to make us get kicked Out. And these two. One of them was crying on the news the other day. It's like, who asked for that? That's my point. I don't even know that gays have been screaming and yelling that they wanted to be on the cheer squad. Have they? Has that been a big movie? A little bit, maybe. But nobody's listening because they're like, nope, no, no. Start your own cheer squad. Like what we say to women all the time. You like golfing. You like Augusta. We don't want you on there. Go build your own course. There goes Brett. Quit trying to. You know, they pick it. They stood outside of the masters. We wanna play. And they're like, we don't want you. We wanna play. But no. And then pressure happened. I'm like, all right, ladies can play instead of building their own. Same with gay cheerleaders. Go ahead. Have your own cheer squad. It's hysterical. Or be like college male cheerleaders, kind of strapping young lads in a pair of pants and a sweater, lifting up broads by their buttholes. I think that makes everybody go, that'. Think if they started that in Ohio State. Brady and all the guy cheerleaders were like, we're not gonna lift the girls up anymore. We're gonna dance with them.
- [52:58]
Dale Hellestrae
Just dance.
- [52:59]
John Holmberg
It's weird. And it's not weird because it's not progressive. And you can get mad at me and say, why can't they? I'm not saying they can't.
- [53:08]
Dale Hellestrae
Stuff is sometimes pretty impressive, sometimes amazing.
- [53:11]
John Holmberg
Sometimes what they're doing on a. On a college football field is like, whoa. They're chucking those chicks all over the place. And normally it's because Ohio State is leading Fresno Junior College 77 to nothing. You're like, what else is there to do here? I already knew this was gonna happen. It's week three, right? But for the first few weeks, you're like, what else is going on around here?
- [53:31]
Dale Hellestrae
I mean, if that. Even if the cheerleading went away in.
- [53:34]
John Holmberg
In college, nobody would care. They're cheerleaders. Probably not, because it's a scholarship. It's a. It's a cheap scholarship. No one would care if cheerleading went away. Do you think that you'd see any difference in sales? At Ohio State? We're eliminating the cheer squad. People like, oh, it's part of the tradition. I'm not.
- [53:52]
Dale Hellestrae
I'm not re upping myself.
- [53:53]
John Holmberg
I'm not re. Upping my season tickets until you bring this.
- [53:55]
Dale Hellestrae
I don't think it would.
- [53:56]
John Holmberg
Not a soul. Yeah, cheerleaders. I hate to Break it to you, you do not matter. You've never mattered.
- [54:04]
Dale Hellestrae
There's a little enhancement to the college football experience.
- [54:07]
John Holmberg
Nope. If they're gone, it doesn't matter. And that's the quintessential. That's the litmus test for whether or not you're actually useful. If you disappear, it's. It's business model one. If that guy goes away, do we lose anything? Nope. Get rid of him. Save time, save money, save energy, save bus rides, save planes, save tickets. If they go away, does it. Does it cost us money? And the answer is no. Absolutely not. The only ones are the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders because they still move calendars and. And they sell stuff and they show up at events, and actually, there's a few that. The Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders are their own company. That's a thing. Raider rats to a certain degree, but this Minnesota thing, and I know why they're doing it. And this is the other thing. It's like the wnba. The WNBA is the least feminist thing that's ever happened to the feminist movement. This is the least LGBTQ positive thing. They're using the gays to get attention for the Minnesota Vikings cheerleaders, which never got attention before. So it's. It's. It's basically, let's use these gays. We don't really care about their movement, but let's make some. Let's make a little hay off of this real quick. So these cheerleaders that are flying around and, you know, doing stuff in the city that we pay for, let's get our money back. But it isn't a thing that those.
- [55:28]
Dale Hellestrae
Fans are getting school left.
- [55:29]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [55:30]
Randy Sklar
Yeah.
- [55:30]
John Holmberg
There's no. There's no. There's no guy. Yeah, you're right. They're, like, clapping his hands.
- [55:35]
Randy Sklar
Skull.
- [55:36]
Jason Sklar
Skull.
- [55:36]
John Holmberg
I'm so glad the cheerleaders are. Skull. He doesn't care. He doesn't care at all. He just wants J.J. mcCarthy to be good. That's all. He'd be gay with J.J. mcCarthy before those cheerleaders. Male cheerleaders. And they're acting like it's some sort of a Martin Luther King's dream. Knock it off.
- [55:55]
Dale Hellestrae
I need to prepare you this year. I want to apologize up front for college football. Not that you're gonna watch, but every now and then, you.
- [56:04]
John Holmberg
I'll tune in, see what's going on. On.
- [56:06]
Dale Hellestrae
The athletic director at High State decided because you. You talk about. Hang on, Sloopy.
- [56:12]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah. The band's going away.
- [56:13]
Dale Hellestrae
It's only played one time.
- [56:14]
John Holmberg
It's too Many.
- [56:15]
Dale Hellestrae
It's the beginning of the fourth quarter.
- [56:16]
John Holmberg
I don't care. Right. It's.
- [56:18]
Dale Hellestrae
He said he wants to stop that.
- [56:19]
John Holmberg
Tradition of Hang On, Sloopy or the band. Oh, please, say the band.
- [56:23]
Dale Hellestrae
No. Hey, I thought just the one song. He's like, hang On, Sloopy. I don't want to do play to the beginning of the fourth quarter. I want you to play it more in key moments.
- [56:34]
John Holmberg
Yeah, great.
- [56:35]
Dale Hellestrae
But the I State fans are like, this is a Hang On. Sloopy's good the one time. That's it.
- [56:41]
John Holmberg
It's not, though. It's fourth quarter. It's never good. No. No song now.
- [56:46]
Dale Hellestrae
Pounded.
- [56:47]
John Holmberg
No song that I don't know it's gonna work out. I do. It's gonna sound just like all the other times they tootle. All I hear is Hang On, Sloopy. It all sounds. Doesn't matter. It all sounds exactly the same the second that band starts tootling and ruining the sport. I hate the bands, too. This guy says, if they don't matter, why throw a fuss about it? Because they're starting to throw a fuss. It didn't before. I've never thrown a fuss about cheerleaders before. Go out there, do their thing. But the fact that they're acting like this is some. So Jesse asked me that. The fact that they're acting like this is some sort of social progression.
- [57:18]
Dale Hellestrae
That's what I thought when I first saw it. I'm like, what? This had male cheerleaders.
- [57:23]
John Holmberg
12 teams have male cheerleaders. Stop acting like something good happened here. Nobody cares. It's not like social progress is not gay cheerleaders. It's just not. But they make it so you have to be careful talking about it because, like, yo, he hates all gays. That's not true. Dance your hearts out. But what I'm complaining about isn't that there's gay cheerleaders. I'm complaining that they're trying to make it seem like it's a thing I see down the road. I am an oracle, Jesse. I see things in the future. Drunk football fans, gay twink cheerleaders. There's gonna be a clash of some sort that's gonna create a fuss where somebody says something terrible. It'll either cause a fight in the stands or it'll cause some sort of a guy to get kicked out of the game, or there'll be fines or something else. And it's gonna make people cry and we're gonna have some big to do about how homophobia runs rampant with the NFL fan. And it isn't that. It's gaslighting. Here's some gay cheerleaders. What do you football fans think of this? Like, am I allowed to say what I really think? No, I'm fine with it. But there's going to be jokes, there's going to be drinking, there's going to be somebody that goes there, those gay cheerleaders. And somebody will say something stupid. It's football, it's not basketball. Basketball's different. Basketball doesn't. Like, nobody's like, we like, like the in game entertainment is hilarious all the time. Football doesn't need it.
- [58:47]
Brett Vesely
When Paul Allen bought Seahawks and he put season tickets on sale, they made the Seagals visit like every section.
- [58:56]
John Holmberg
See, right there. It's sexist. I mean, they try to act like this is some sort of a movement. It's all bad.
- [59:02]
Dale Hellestrae
Yeah, I didn't know that.
- [59:04]
Brett Vesely
So they made the Seagulls visit every section at a certain point during the game. And so you would look forward to.
- [59:10]
Randy Sklar
Hey, here comes the Seagals.
- [59:12]
Brett Vesely
And you get your pictures, you do.
- [59:13]
John Holmberg
Whatever you need, whatever you do.
- [59:15]
Brett Vesely
And the game's going on. Yeah, but people are like, all right, time. Well, team was crap then too, but.
- [59:19]
John Holmberg
You know, oh, and you're looking for something else to do if you got some girls want her. But look, you got pornhub now. They're not. And you're not allowed to sexualize it.
- [59:26]
Brett Vesely
My point was I don't see the dude cheerleader team coming through in a situation like that, stopping down the game point going, hey, here comes the sea.
- [59:37]
John Holmberg
Guys, it's 34. Well, he's still a Seagal and 34 to 7. And now, you know, Kevin and Trevor are the guys you're taking pictures with your kids with. It's gonna. It's a stir waiting to happen. All I'm saying is you're asking for it.
- [59:50]
Dale Hellestrae
Did you see the Seahawk get caught in the net? The preseason?
- [59:53]
John Holmberg
Yeah. What grocery store in Seattle is going to be like, hey, come visit Kevin and Trevor the from the cheer squad at 7 o'. Clock. It's not going to happen.
- [60:02]
Brett Vesely
Well, it'd be Whole Foods, because Amazon owns Whole Foods.
- [60:05]
John Holmberg
I don't care. I'm making my point being who's showing up to this?
- [60:08]
Brett Vesely
It's Seattle, John.
- [60:09]
John Holmberg
They're not showing up for the two gay cheerleaders.
- [60:12]
Brett Vesely
No, they're not at all.
- [60:13]
John Holmberg
Giant Eagle and Capitol Hill. They will happening maybe. Yeah, you got to pick and choose.
- [60:18]
Dale Hellestrae
It's got to be a smack in the face for San Francisco fans.
- [60:21]
John Holmberg
Yeah, how have they missed the boat?
- [60:22]
Brett Vesely
On purpose?
- [60:23]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that same thing. But how in the world have they missed the boat on this? How have they not had an all gay male cheerleading squad?
- [60:32]
Brett Vesely
Some would argue it's on the field.
- [60:35]
John Holmberg
Seahawk fans speaking, that the 49ers are all homosexual. And that is what I'm talking about. Football fans say your team's gay. I said it yesterday. I had my Steelers shirt on, a tactical black. And Tony, one of the trainers up there, is a cowboy fan. And he goes, oh, gay. Immediately, that was the thing. I'm like, not gay. I said, I'm not the one who runs around and says, I love Cowboys. Okay, strong point, strong point. And we went back and forth on who's gayer but who we liked. Now you add, like, real gay to that, somebody's gonna lose their job. Guy can't even hug the HR lady at a Coldplay show, he loses CEO. You think you could call one of those guys in the male cheerleaders a name they don't like? You're not gonna lose your gig, and they're not gonna get called out on social media. So you got drunk and started to say weird stuff to the gay cheerleader. Hold on.
- [61:22]
Brett Vesely
Toledo's team has the Seagals and the Seamen.
- [61:25]
John Holmberg
Yeah, the Seamen are now part of it. I think the Bengals girls are the Bengals. And they're all transvestites. They used to be. They used to be girls, but they're now men. See, that's what you do to guys. You don't like their team. The Bengals used to be gals. Now it's just a bunch of trannies.
- [61:44]
Randy Sklar
Skull. Skull.
- [61:47]
John Holmberg
That guy's got a nice ass. Goal. And you're just asking for it because Green Bay doesn't have. And Chicago doesn't have packers, and that's all. And the Lions don't have. So now the Vikings, you know, you go up to Minnesota and it's like, oh, well, enjoy your gay chair later. Yeah, all of Seattle probably does show up for the male cheerleaders, though. It's kind of a town that would do that. Either way, they're on. My point is, putting it on the news and making it this big. Social advancement is ridiculous. And so people like me can say, enough of the cheerleaders. That's it. If we're not allowed to sexualize them, we're not allowed to do that. And now it's going to be dudes, too. Just eliminate it. That's silly. Because next thing is, what. What about age? What about, like, kids what about old people? Like, why aren't we just, you know. If it's all about the dancing skills, there's plenty of good old people. Dancers like 50 plus. They would never put them out there. But we're not. They're supposed to be pretty and sexy, but we're not supposed to say so. Stop it. You get all those Broadway guys out there, they put a hell of a show on sidelines of a Giants john.
- [62:57]
Brett Vesely
I've been living in Minnesota for the past almost seven years, and I've never heard a guy say they care about the Vikings cheerleaders. I just asked four people right here at work if they care and they all said no. They want football, not those Midwestern frozen brain second string dancers.
- [63:11]
John Holmberg
Eggs. Thank. Thank you. Thank you. I'm calling for the elimination of cheerleading in the NFL ranks. I've been screaming about getting rid of bands in college football, but for some reason people think that's something. There is nothing worse. And I've made my point and no one's ever argued it. Have you ever bought tickets to a college marching band concert? No. The reason that they shoehorn them into football is so they can still have music scholarships and give them something to do. Because if they had their own concerts, not a soul would show up. They think they're part of it. It's dangerous. Just get rid of them and people. You know What? You'd have 400 new seats to sell. But it's part of the tradition. Have a march out at halftime in Spell Ohio. It's a four letter word. Not that impressive. Buckeyes.
- [64:11]
Dale Hellestrae
As I was saying, the beginning of the game. Awesome opening.
- [64:14]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [64:15]
Dale Hellestrae
They're doing script Ohio before the game.
- [64:16]
John Holmberg
Good. Script Ohio is the most overrated thing in the history of sports.
- [64:19]
Brett Vesely
Really is.
- [64:20]
John Holmberg
It's four letters. Four letters.
- [64:22]
Randy Sklar
Yeah.
- [64:22]
John Holmberg
People were. You were crying. I watched you weep. You had a thing or a opener.
- [64:27]
Dale Hellestrae
And they come out in the drum line, people cried.
- [64:30]
John Holmberg
Nobody even knows them. Like, all right, I guess there's something here. These people are brainwashed into believing that spelling Ohio was hard. I got 500 people. We need to spell the word Ohio. I'm like, I can do it. Have you ever done it before? No, but I know I can do this. Two of the letters are the same and they're the easiest letter to make.
- [64:46]
Brett Vesely
You don't know the pattern.
- [64:47]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I. Give me 10 minutes. I'm going to ice this. You think you can get 500 people to spell the word Ohio on a football field? You've never done it before? Are you out of your mind? Yeah, I can do it. It's not like I'm trying to spell Washington.
- [65:01]
Dale Hellestrae
We can do it with four crews.
- [65:03]
John Holmberg
What?
- [65:04]
Dale Hellestrae
Four Ohio's. They'll do the.
- [65:06]
John Holmberg
Huh?
- [65:06]
Dale Hellestrae
They'll do Ohio in each end zone and Ohio on each sidelines.
- [65:10]
Brett Vesely
That's even more.
- [65:11]
John Holmberg
Man. Wow. That's spelling a four letter word multiple times. What a college. What a college. You know, they should spell another four letter word there, rape. Because they're prolific. Go Buckeyes. Yeah. That's a huge thing. Yeah, that's got to go to that, that. Especially in basketball. You get in those small arenas and that band starts tootling away, It's a nightmare.
- [65:33]
Brett Vesely
Speaking of, listeners are asking if you've been aware that the 2025, 2026 Suns cheerleading squad has been announced. There's Nate and Phil. Phil, are either one of these the guy that you.
- [65:46]
John Holmberg
No, no, no. Hard Times moved on to Broadway.
- [65:49]
Brett Vesely
Oh, nice.
- [65:49]
John Holmberg
Hard Times was so good at it. Moved on to be a real dancer.
- [65:53]
Brett Vesely
Just hearing you talk about him, I'd go see his Broadway show.
- [65:56]
John Holmberg
Hard Times was amazing. There's certain people who do something, you're like, all right, he's not going to last much longer because this is way beneath him. Cheering for the Suns and all that. And then, you know, and they just do pole dancing and then say, don't sexualize us. And their asses are in the air and they're. There was a move they made last year to Sons game where the girls would run their hands to their hair, bend over straight legged and give their buttholes a tap and then slide their hands up their butts. And I'm like, did they just butthole, tap and crack, slide? Don't sexualize it, but solid move. It was a solid move. But I'm like, if this is what we're doing, I should be able to, you know, scream out. I want to you like we should if you're putting it out there that way. Anyway, I saw it on cnn, I saw it on fox. I saw it on the Internet. I said multiple times on the Internet. NFL breaks boundaries, barriers. Now 12 teams now have male cheerleaders. John.
- [66:58]
Brett Vesely
At Texas A and M, the males are called yell leaders.
- [67:01]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's good. Those dudes have bullhorns. Go, all right, watch this. I'm gonna throw this spinner up in the air. I'm gonna catch her. Do you dance? No, I don't dance. I'm straight.
- [67:11]
Brett Vesely
I'm in a sweater. At Texas A and M, I wear.
- [67:14]
John Holmberg
A sweater and pants and I throw girls for a living. I'm a chick chucker and I got a scholarship for it. I get to put my thumb in every hot girl's butt at Texas A and M questions. You should be president someday. But the dude who's out there learning the. The straight leg bendo. That's the weird thing is when you see the gay cheerleaders and the straight legged bend over and then they reach back and do the butthole tap crack slide. You're like, oh, God.
- [67:44]
Dale Hellestrae
Takes it to a new level.
- [67:45]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Again, not supposed to sexualize it. And that's hard to not do when somebody's touching their butthole at a Sun's game. Why is that guy seemingly seductively tapping his own B hole here at the Sun's game? Oh, don't talk about it that way, okay?
- [68:01]
Dale Hellestrae
Is the design to make you cheer harder?
- [68:04]
John Holmberg
I don't know. Makes me laugh. Did that dude just touch his butthole and do a crack slide? Yeah. Yeah, It's Go Sons. No, no, I'm not thinking Go Sons right now. I'm thinking, what the hell was that?
- [68:15]
Brett Vesely
Brady, be honest. Is half the crowd. No, this isn't true. At Ohio State. But is half. Isn't half the crowd just the marching band's parents for the.
- [68:23]
John Holmberg
For the Ohio State.
- [68:24]
Brett Vesely
Not for Ohio State, for other bands.
- [68:26]
John Holmberg
Have you seen them? The only bands worth watching are the black colleges. Oh, yeah, because they're amazing.
- [68:33]
Brett Vesely
They have their own national competition.
- [68:35]
John Holmberg
White nerds stomping around spelling Ohio is unimpressive.
- [68:40]
Brett Vesely
I know. I followed one in my own house.
- [68:43]
John Holmberg
You had one there and it's good. Musically, he's great, but it's not impressive.
- [68:48]
Brett Vesely
No, he quit the marching band because he said, you know, John's right. There's nothing about this that's about performing.
- [68:55]
John Holmberg
No, it's not a musical performance. It's scholarship. I don't think. I don't think ever. During a timeout like, you know, Mike Tomlin's been talking to Ben Roethlisberger and said, man, we don't have a chance, Ben. It's like, why these Eagles cheerleaders, that team, they're so motivated by their cheer squad and this fan fan base going crazy. The Jumbotron. That's why we cheer. You know, when there's no game going on, they put something on the Jumbotron. We start going, we don't care about the cheerleaders unless they make them dirty. That's what football fans really want, is a dirty set of sluts dancing around. But we're not allowed to have that. That would be wrong. Evidently.
- [69:35]
Dale Hellestrae
Gotta throw in fillers during those commercial breaks.
- [69:38]
John Holmberg
Sure. Tons of games televised. Tons of them. Devin Booker's never gone. All right, guys, you see how hard our cheerleaders are. We gotta get out there and fight for them. They don't care. They're not allowed to actually. The team isn't even actually allowed to interact with the cheerleaders, technically, because, you know, you can't start boning one of the cheerleaders and then have that go sideways. If Booker started to nail one of the cheerleaders and then they get into a fight and stuff. Now she's crying and doesn't want to. Like, it's trouble. They don't let them really interact with the players that much. I'm sure it still happened. Either way. One thing in sports we do need to be talking about is former ASU manager Pat Murphy up there in Milwaukee winning every goddamn game there is. They're 12 in a row now. And you know what he does that's different than any other manager? Eats pancakes out of his pockets. You seen this?
- [70:29]
Dale Hellestrae
Pocket pancakes.
- [70:30]
Brett Vesely
He's a man after my own heart.
- [70:32]
John Holmberg
He keeps food in his pockets of.
- [70:34]
Brett Vesely
His uniform and in a cup like.
- [70:35]
John Holmberg
Mine while just in there. And he just reaches in, he has snacks, waffles, pancakes, hot dogs. He just puts them in his pocket.
- [70:41]
Brett Vesely
Did he do that when he was here?
- [70:42]
John Holmberg
I don't think so. He said he just started it a few years ago, and it's impressive. Now they're selling to fat Wisconsin food you can shove in your pocket.
- [70:50]
Dale Hellestrae
No selling needed.
- [70:52]
John Holmberg
No, no. Yeah. Just mention. Wait. You can put food in your pockets? It's acceptable now, this is a dream of the Midwest to be like, well, that's still frowned upon now. That's a real social advancement. But they're. They're selling ballpark flapjacks because Pat Murphy.
- [71:07]
Dale Hellestrae
They're on a 12 game.
- [71:08]
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, they found. They watched this guy just reaching his pocket, and they're like, what's he doing? He was eating. I remember when Jim Leland used to smoke in the dugout and he'd hide it. They never gave away cigarettes to the kids. But it's just as dangerous as giving pocket cigarettes. Pocket pancakes. It's unhealthy to want to reach into your pocket and find a meal. I think. I don't think that's necessarily the best thing to be teaching your kids. But Pat Murphy's out there doing it, and they're giving it. The fans crushing it now. And everybody just keeps food in Their pockets, which is the next advancement of our amazing society is that you'll be talking to somebody. Yeah, I agree. And he reached into his pocket and pulls out a pancake and just shoves it in his mouth. And you're looking at him like, this whole thing, this human experiment is over. Did you just eat a pancake out of your pocket? I did. I'm not friends with you anymore. So he has him. He has hoodie. He has food in his hoodie pocket and then some in his pocket and his pants for his baseball pants. He does both.
- [72:10]
Dale Hellestrae
Just seems messy.
- [72:12]
John Holmberg
He said, I've been doing this since 2017. I guess I never did it during an interview and stuff. Used to be bagels. Mostly. I'd have bagels in my pockets and then I get one at a game. Then it moved into waffles. I'd roll up a pancake during day games and stuff. I just take them because, see, like.
- [72:27]
Brett Vesely
Craig Counsel, does he have the.
- [72:29]
John Holmberg
The hoodie with hoodie with the pocket in the front. And he keeps.
- [72:31]
Brett Vesely
Not, like, pulling it out of his.
- [72:32]
John Holmberg
But he would like waffles and pancakes in your pocket. That's gross. But it's so Milwaukee. And everybody in Milwaukee's like, what took you so long? They have cheese melting in their pants.
- [72:45]
Brett Vesely
It's gonna be sponsored by Tim Hortons.
- [72:47]
John Holmberg
Yeah. All the donuts and sprinkles. Pretty soon they'll just have. Your clothes will have a plastic lining inside or a cooling vest.
- [72:53]
Brett Vesely
Oh, that's what it'll be.
- [72:55]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Because fat America wins every time. So fat America is gonna have, like, those silver pockets that keep things hot.
- [73:01]
Brett Vesely
Does Under Armour stay in that game, then?
- [73:03]
John Holmberg
Under Armour, Yeah. I don't know if Under Armour does like tight clothes with a food pocket.
- [73:08]
Dale Hellestrae
No. IHOP will come out with its own.
- [73:10]
John Holmberg
Line, and the Midwest will devour it. Like, edible clothes can't be far behind. Your clothes are made of pancakes. And as the day goes on, you just know it's time to go home when your shirt's missing because you ate it all. Tripp, I gotta go home. Gotta go home. I'm nothing but a T shirt. Did you eat your shirt already? It's only noon. Yes, sir. Dammit, Brady. All right, fine. Yeah, it's a matter of time. But pocket pancakes. And everybody just started laughing. I'm like, this is. This is a shining example of what's wrong with our country, not what's right with it. That guy's got waffles in his pocket. That's called being homeless. If you ever met some have you ever met a CEO sitting there in a nice suit? So what are you guys up to? And he pulls out, like, a cocktail wiener from his pocket. Did you just pull out food from your pocket? I sure did. That's disgusting. What raised you? Nothing. I raised myself. Me and some wolves. Me and some wolves out in the desert. And so I just put survival. What are you, a kangaroo? Stop it. I just don't like walking over to those plates and pick it. I just keep it out of my pockets.
- [74:15]
Dale Hellestrae
Rolled up. It's game time.
- [74:17]
John Holmberg
Yeah. He's got rolled up pancakes. He keeps two or three of them in there. He's now packing it for extra. How many pancakes do you need? Toledo does the grossest thing I've ever seen, which is those pancake in a cup mush buckets. I've done one in a while, but they're so gross. That is. That looks like vomit in a cup. And he stirs it up. It's not a pancake. It's not a pancake. It's just pancake batter.
- [74:40]
Brett Vesely
Pancake, like.
- [74:41]
John Holmberg
No, it's not a pancake is a pancake. It's called pancake. Yours is a cup.
- [74:48]
Dale Hellestrae
It has all the smells of pancake and syrup.
- [74:52]
John Holmberg
All right, calm down. We'll get you a pocket full of food in a second.
- [74:54]
Brett Vesely
You can't have those anymore.
- [74:55]
John Holmberg
But little fat kids, you got your pencils and stuff from your backpack. What's in your pocket?
- [75:00]
Randy Sklar
Pancakes. Good boy.
- [75:02]
John Holmberg
All right, time to go to school.
- [75:03]
Randy Sklar
John.
- [75:03]
Brett Vesely
I'm a Padres fan. Pat Murphy briefly managed the Padres. I'm gonna go back and look at old footage to see if he's munching on a.
- [75:09]
John Holmberg
If he reaches into his pocket and side eyes everybody and then goes. That's what. That's what happens to people who've been, like, hostages for a long time. And then they give them food and they're just like. And then they put it in their pockets. It's theirs. It's what an animal would do. They bury it, and they give them free food. You've been in a locker room in a professional baseball game. Before a game, there's a buffet for everybody if they want. And afterwards, there's food everywhere. The players kind of lay off because they know better than to, you know, lower themselves.
- [75:46]
Dale Hellestrae
They go through, like, millions of uncrustables or crustables.
- [75:52]
John Holmberg
Yeah, they have tons of those laying around. They go through those bananas, fruits, things like that.
- [75:56]
Dale Hellestrae
Cheeseburgers.
- [75:57]
John Holmberg
The coach. I don't know if they throw cheeseburgers out to the Team before grills just.
- [76:01]
Dale Hellestrae
Go on like crazy after.
- [76:03]
John Holmberg
Before the game. You're not loading the team up on burgers and stuff. You give them fruit and things.
- [76:07]
Brett Vesely
That's your fever dream.
- [76:08]
John Holmberg
But the coach. You can have pancakes, Josh.
- [76:11]
Brett Vesely
25 years of hilarity just continues today. You think Brady's shirt would make it till noon?
- [76:17]
John Holmberg
That's a good point. Yeah. Brady wouldn't make it through the 10 o'. Clock. Sorry about that. It's eight. I gotta go home. I don't want to sit here topless. I ate my entire pancake shirt. Pancake shirts. It's gonna be a thing.
- [76:30]
Dale Hellestrae
The worst day would be it's half shirt day.
- [76:32]
John Holmberg
What? What? I said I cut my diet. Low sodium half shirts.
- [76:38]
Brett Vesely
Don't forget John the jerk had pizza in a cup.
- [76:41]
John Holmberg
Yeah, pizza in a cup was in the jerk but not in your pocket. But that's common. Once they make it so it's washable, you can stuff food in here. When they combo up those lunch like your lunchbox is now part of your shirt. Just stuff your food in there. And it's plastically plastic lining. It's got a hot side side. It's got a cool side.
- [77:03]
Brett Vesely
Oh, I had Hong Kong phooey as a kid. If I had.
- [77:06]
John Holmberg
Oh, if you had a Hong Kong phooey shirt and you unzipped it and inside were pancakes. Fat America would start. Well, they wouldn't do backflips, they'd roll down hills. But it's disgusting.
- [77:17]
Dale Hellestrae
Your dryer smells like they open up that subway. Fresh bread. Yeah, they put.
- [77:23]
John Holmberg
Well, then there's the next thing is that your dryer will then cook the crumbs and then you can put them in cups and give them to the kids later for more.
- [77:29]
Brett Vesely
Taking the lint pile out.
- [77:30]
John Holmberg
Yeah, the lint pile is also food just. And kids will start eating lint because that'll just be part of it. Like plastics and everything.
- [77:37]
Dale Hellestrae
Cotton candy.
- [77:38]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's what it would be. We'd call it cotton pancake flavored cotton candy and we'd save the oceans because we don't put our lint in the trash anymore. Kids eat it now. It's a bad trend. It's funny, but anytime I see somebody reaching in their pocket and pulling out food something, they're poor. That just means you're really poor.
- [78:03]
Randy Sklar
Sickness.
- [78:06]
John Holmberg
It's John Holberg and Brett Vesley from the morning sickness coming at you. For our pals at action Ride shop. It's summertime. But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the outdoors here in Arizona. You just have to be smart about it. That's a fact, Bert. Action Ride Shop is step one in the smart department. They've got awesome deals on all their E bikes right now. They also have specials on their mountain bikes and neighborhood commuters. And just because it's hot out doesn't mean you can't grab a light and ride the glorious Arizona trails. With an awesome setup from outbound lighting and night rider. Get to Action Ride Shop on the 60 and Gilbert or their new LOC on McDowell and Power. Actionrideshop.com It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk again about my friends at Trajan Wealth. I always talk to you about the will and trust. The estate plan that I put together with Kent at Trajan Wealth. Kent was unbelievable. And man, you want to make sure medical power of attorney and power of attorney are established. Because if something bad happens and you don't have anybody speaking for you, somebody you don't know will keep control of your life even when you're not in control. All you have to do is get it done. Today at Trajan Wealth. 48 up 990 3300. Trades and wealth legal services are offered through trades and Estate Law Firm LLC. Hey, it's Brett Vesely. Look, your AC's been working hard for you all summer long, so give it some love with Patrick Riley. Heating, cooling, plumbing and drains. Right now you can get a 59H VAC system check which includes a full equipment inspection, refrigerant level check, and free electronic leak detection. And that's a 99 value. Need a new system. No problem. Score 1500 dollars off right now. Hot and stuck. Well, they offer emergency same day service and before you commit, get a free second opinion with no pressure. Patrick Riley, services.com. that's Patrick Riley services.com Patrick Riley. One call does it all. Holmberg's morning sickness. And I can tell you the one thing that I do think is being called poor that isn't or being called trash that isn't. This is the most American thing I've ever this UFC thing that's going to happen next July 4th over at the White House might be the coolest thing ever. They're saying tickets for this are going to get around 100 grand.
- [80:05]
Brett Vesely
Oh, easily.
- [80:06]
John Holmberg
Like not, not just front row, maybe 500 people. How can you sell tickets?
- [80:12]
Dale Hellestrae
Yeah, all chin.
- [80:13]
John Holmberg
Oh, the pay per view will be huge. Yeah, but they're saying it's white trash.
- [80:17]
Brett Vesely
And it's classic no pay per view. It's on Paramount plus now, why is.
- [80:22]
John Holmberg
It white trash to have a like. I meant kind of disparaging the entire fan base.
- [80:30]
Brett Vesely
Go to a different genre. What if Muhammad Ali. If we had a Muhammad Ali or a Mike Tyson match on the White.
- [80:36]
John Holmberg
House grounds now, I don't know if they're. Are they going to do it to where it's like people who Americans only beaten up like international stars or is it just American versus American Bring on the. Bring on the Ruskies tomato camp. Yeah. You can't have like strong Russian fighters that could potentially knock our Americans out and have an all Russian win card of dudes who are going to fly back to Leningrad afterwards. We have to have. You're right. Tomato cans have to go rolling up. We have to start knocking Russians out like crazy China. Oh, yeah. We're going to beat the tart of a Chinese fighter who's probably never done it before. It almost has to all be rigged. Maybe a Canadian gets in there and wins. We'd be kind of okay with that. But it's the 4th of July, 250th birthday of America. It has to be all Americans kicking the living out of international fighters. Otherwise they got to put a special card together. But they said that tickets, if they, if they sell them and I don't think they will. Hundred thousand dollars. So they'll do and they'll give it to some sort of weird charity. But that's amazing. And I don't know. I like the Easter egg roll is just as white trash as a UFC event.
- [81:44]
Dale Hellestrae
You're going to get your trust fair play tickets from Trump directly.
- [81:47]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah. He's going to hand them out just like he did.
- [81:51]
Brett Vesely
Well, you're going to have to buy some crypto first and then you'll maybe.
- [81:53]
John Holmberg
Well, he gave the Kennedy center honors. He got to pick that and kiss, which is just awesome. Yeah. Stallone and Kiss and Gloria Gaynor. I don't know why she's there. She's got like a song.
- [82:06]
Dale Hellestrae
Disco queen.
- [82:09]
John Holmberg
So I'm all for next year's super UFC White House event. I don't know how you're getting the white trash. I don't know why. I guess because if you thought of it as a normal front yard and there was a fight on would be a little trashy. But this ain't a normal front yard and it's not a normal day. And our president happens to absolutely love the ufc. I don't know what Biden was into, but if they had like a tennis match, everybody be okay with it because that's a high end sport. Like people. Only people with tennis courts on their. Well, if you have a tennis court in your yard, you've got money most of the time. You got a UFC ring in your backyard. You are pretty much the devil of your neighborhood, and you are the trashiest person. The White House is different. And you're not having real UFC events in your yard. You're just having neighborhood kids fight like Brady used to. Right. America, if you had a UFC ring in your backyard, and Dana White came over and said, we'd love to have this as one of our venues. Suddenly it's not white trash anymore. But if you have a ufc, if you have a boxing ring in your backyard. My dental hygienist said that to me the other day. She goes, I used to date a guy who had a boxing ring in his backyard, and they'd have fights. And I'm like, he's trash. And she started laughing and she goes, well, he was. It was weird. I'm like, yeah, that is weird. To have a boxing ring in your backyard and have neighborhood fights is weird.
- [83:27]
Brett Vesely
Our neighbors, the Durhams in Three Forks, Montana, had a pole vaulting pit.
- [83:31]
John Holmberg
That's just strange. But that's.
- [83:33]
Brett Vesely
That's the weirdest thing I've ever seen in your backyard.
- [83:35]
Dale Hellestrae
They get scholarships out of that deal.
- [83:37]
Brett Vesely
They did not.
- [83:38]
John Holmberg
Was the data pole vaulter didn't quite make it. And he made his case.
- [83:41]
Brett Vesely
He might have been. Marinovich became a dentist.
- [83:44]
John Holmberg
Think he was a pole vaulter who became a dentist and then told his kids, you're trying pole vaulting first, we're.
- [83:50]
Brett Vesely
Keeping it in the backyard.
- [83:51]
John Holmberg
We're gonna keep pole vaulting. Top of mind until we can't. And then you'll go do something else. That's what your dad had to do. That's what you're gonna do. That's the secret to success. You pole vault until you can't pole vault no more. And then we move you on to a career. That's weird. Yeah, I've never heard of that one, but I guess you got a lot of room. Yeah, you love pole vaulting. You have the big mattress. Mattress. What else are you going to do with it?
- [84:13]
Brett Vesely
Giant cedar fence that everybody would crash into when you, I don't know, over vault.
- [84:17]
John Holmberg
Yeah, you, you know, miss the pit. If you spent money on pole vaulting mattresses, you might as well finish the job.
- [84:25]
Brett Vesely
They're like the bales of hay that.
- [84:27]
John Holmberg
Oh, he didn't have any Oh, I figured he had, like, professional stuff. Oh, no, this is full hillbilly. That's the most.
- [84:32]
Dale Hellestrae
The actual stat. The pit where you could stick the pole vault in.
- [84:36]
John Holmberg
We just dug a hole.
- [84:37]
Brett Vesely
Just a hole. It might have been a bucket, actually. That was okay.
- [84:41]
John Holmberg
This is not a pole vaulting thing. You're. You. This is a hillbillies fever dream is what it is. He saw it in the Olympics once and built it.
- [84:48]
Brett Vesely
We could do this in our backyard.
- [84:50]
John Holmberg
He was not qualified for any of that. I thought he built, like, a real one. I had actually, what I was picturing was a beautiful ranch with a Runway over in the corner. Yeah, it had the Runway. No, it was hillbilly with.
- [85:00]
Brett Vesely
I bring up the house, the Home.
- [85:02]
John Holmberg
Depot bucket and some bales of hay, and they'd throw their kids over a stick.
- [85:05]
Dale Hellestrae
We had a sand volleyball court. My dad. Dad did.
- [85:08]
John Holmberg
That's pretty cool. The full size.
- [85:10]
Dale Hellestrae
Full size.
- [85:11]
John Holmberg
That's pretty cool. Yeah. And you lived in a nice neighborhood, so it's like. It's a home.
- [85:16]
Dale Hellestrae
I still.
- [85:16]
John Holmberg
I was.
- [85:17]
Dale Hellestrae
I was thinking about that as you were talking. I'm like, I wonder. I mean, it wasn't. Everything was nice. It was a real net.
- [85:23]
John Holmberg
As long as you kept it nice.
- [85:24]
Dale Hellestrae
Like.
- [85:24]
John Holmberg
No, that's pretty good one. Ufc, boxing. Any sort of ring or octagon in your backyard?
- [85:32]
Dale Hellestrae
Little different.
- [85:32]
John Holmberg
What are your plans with that? Is that. Is. That's not a nice neighborhood game. Guys want to get in an octagon and fight? We're at a barbecue. Tom. I don't. That's the house.
- [85:42]
Brett Vesely
I mean, this is, you know, 40 years later, but this is the house. Pole vaulting pit was back here.
- [85:47]
John Holmberg
Right there in the middle of the back, where that rectangle was a pretty nice house.
- [85:50]
Dale Hellestrae
Yeah.
- [85:51]
John Holmberg
And they would pole vault in a Home Depot bucket in that space that you're.
- [85:55]
Brett Vesely
No, Like a pan.
- [85:56]
John Holmberg
Like, this is not good.
- [85:59]
Brett Vesely
Like a 5 quart saucepan in the. That they buried in the.
- [86:02]
John Holmberg
How did they not get sued from the first death? Because there had to be. There's lawyers in Three Forks at that time. There is Yellowstone. There's lawyers up there. Well, that's pretty. That's. That's pretty heavily hillbillied right there. Strong hillbilly behavior on that one anyway. But the White House lawn, having a UFC fight on it, that's pretty cool. And I know people like, oh, what's it coming to it? We've been watching it halfway happen.
- [86:34]
Brett Vesely
Is that what Trump's building that new ballroom for so he can host, like, arena style? Events in there.
- [86:38]
John Holmberg
I think he saw it when he went to another country and went, why don't we have one of these? Like, he's been to a couple of houses.
- [86:45]
Randy Sklar
Yeah.
- [86:46]
John Holmberg
And he's like, we need this. And so he wants to have that. If it was wwe, you got an argument if, like, he did SummerSlam at.
- [86:55]
Dale Hellestrae
The White House that he does, like, the. The military parade or whatever. He just wants the other countries to see.
- [87:00]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [87:01]
Dale Hellestrae
Here's how we're celebrating our 250th year.
- [87:03]
John Holmberg
I mean, you could have, like, Field of Dreams in the front yard. You could have. You get a baseball, maybe a football game would be pretty neat there. The only one that really can't fly is wwe. That would be. Then. Then the White Trash Screamers would be. Right. A boxing match would be amazing. This UFC thing, I think, is fun. It doesn't take up a ton of space either. John.
- [87:22]
Brett Vesely
My neighbors had a cockfighting ring in their backyard.
- [87:25]
John Holmberg
That's.
- [87:26]
Brett Vesely
Know what part of town you live in?
- [87:27]
John Holmberg
It's illegal. I do. Where you hear roosters crow in the morning, and you're like, there's no farms. There's like, 40 roosters going nuts, and there is not a farm in sight. Anyway, Toledo. What do you got on the big board of musical treats?
- [87:45]
Brett Vesely
Let me pull up up here. It's brought to you by giving the.
- [87:48]
John Holmberg
No, it's brought to you by our friends at Action Ride Shop. If you want to head on over there again now. Beautiful. Like last night, that rain that came through, man, it went right down the 51. Just poured all over the 51. The West Valley got crushed, so it was just a nice cooldown. Afterwards, you hop on your bike and do a night ride. They're doing night rescues and stuff of people who still. So you still got to hydrate. They've got all the hydration stuff you'd ever want at Action Ride Shop, too. They're loaded up with that kind of stuff. So if you're an active person and you don't want the weather to stop, you make sure you're taking care of yourself, and they'll take care of you. Action Ride shops got you covered. 60 and right around there on Gilbert Road, you can find it. And of course, their new shop up on Power and McDowell, if you want to get out there. Action Ride Shop. What do you got?
- [88:29]
Brett Vesely
Porn star dancing from my darkest days. Mexican Radio by Wallavudu. Or we could do the hard rock version, I suppose. Little Piece of Heaven by Avenged Sevenfold, Velvet Revolver. She builds quick Machines, acdc. Have a drink on me. For the water drive this morning. Judas Priest, Priest. Turbo lover for the Vikings.
- [88:48]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I like that one. We'll go with some priest this morning. A little turbo lover. They can dance that. My cop buddy Ben just texted me a picture of himself in 1995. Pole vaulting since a badass sport. State champion, 4A. That's me. It's a picture of Ben doing it. I only wonder when I see that stuff is. How do you practice that? How do you like the first day?
- [89:09]
Dale Hellestrae
It's gotta be. Yeah, I mean the high school, you gotta.
- [89:12]
John Holmberg
That's it. Yeah, like the first day you're holding the stick.
- [89:15]
Dale Hellestrae
There might be facilities now that. That have it, but I don't know of any.
- [89:19]
John Holmberg
I don't know any. Because there's.
- [89:20]
Dale Hellestrae
There are separate swim like guys that go to the next level.
- [89:24]
John Holmberg
Well, that's swimming. There's pools everywhere. You can practice at home. You can't pole vault practice at home.
- [89:29]
Dale Hellestrae
You can't practice.
- [89:30]
John Holmberg
You can't go to the. Yeah, you can. You can swim at home.
- [89:32]
Brett Vesely
You can take the pool necessarily run.
- [89:33]
John Holmberg
You know, but you can get good at swimming in a pool at home. You can say, I'm pretty good at swimming. Maybe I should try this in a big pool. Pole vaulting, I think you learned that the first day. The track coach goes, what do you want to do? I don't know. That looks fun. Like, here's a stick, give it a try. I don't think there's any like pre training to pole vaulting until you get to a place that has it.
- [89:54]
Dale Hellestrae
That's not until high school.
- [89:55]
John Holmberg
Right. And I think those kids are doing it for the first. Freshmen are doing it for the very first time. I can't imagine. I don't know. Ben, tell me, how did you. How do you get into it? Like your dad doesn't go, all right, we're going to the pole vaulting park. It doesn't exist.
- [90:09]
Brett Vesely
Alex went stapley. There was no junior high track team.
- [90:11]
John Holmberg
Where do you get all the equipment? There was no Internet in 1995. How do you buy pole vaulting?
- [90:16]
Dale Hellestrae
You got two options, pole vaulting or javelin.
- [90:19]
John Holmberg
You pick javelin, you can practice. You can go to the park and chuck a javelin.
- [90:23]
Dale Hellestrae
Never.
- [90:24]
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, you never see it, but you could. Where do you pole vault to get good enough to go? I'm going to try out for the high school team.
- [90:30]
Dale Hellestrae
Yeah, you need a school.
- [90:31]
John Holmberg
You just show up at school and go, I'll do it. You're the guinea pig. All Right. I'm not fast enough. But I want to be out here. I'll try it. And they give you the pole and they go, just. Good luck.
- [90:41]
Brett Vesely
Just plant it, keep running.
- [90:44]
John Holmberg
Massive insurance liability. Good luck.
- [90:47]
Dale Hellestrae
Our buddy, Rod McConnell, he pole vaulted his daughter got a full ride. Ole Miss.
- [90:52]
John Holmberg
That's hot. Tell me more about that. It's pole vaulting.
- [90:56]
Randy Sklar
Yeah.
- [90:58]
John Holmberg
I don't know. I don't know how you get good at that before you start tournaments. What do you have, like a three week training program before there's a tournament? I got pole vault. How long you been doing it? I don't know. When did school start? Four weeks ago. This is brand new to me too. You have to be scared to death the first few times. You gotta find out you love it.
- [91:21]
Dale Hellestrae
I mean, yeah. Before high school or. I guess it's gotta be club sports. I mean, like, they travel around these tournaments.
- [91:30]
John Holmberg
Why would your parents pay for you to be a pole vaulter if the first time you do it is after the check clears? You can't. You can't buy. You can't buy the stick. There's no way kids quit everything. No way.
- [91:41]
Dale Hellestrae
What's a poll running?
- [91:42]
John Holmberg
I don't know.
- [91:43]
Dale Hellestrae
It's gotta be.
- [91:44]
John Holmberg
But that's my point, Brady, the Internet. We can now buy a pole for pole vaulting. How did this start? Where did you ever go? I grew up here. We didn't have pole vaulting facilities. Never, ever.
- [91:59]
Dale Hellestrae
But they had it at your. At Dobson.
- [92:01]
Randy Sklar
Yeah.
- [92:01]
Dale Hellestrae
Yeah. And they.
- [92:03]
John Holmberg
Two people died. Of course they provided the polls. You can't byo poles.
- [92:07]
Dale Hellestrae
Nobody had one at certain time. Then you buy your own pool. Where at Dick's?
- [92:13]
John Holmberg
Yeah, Dick's doesn't have a pole vaulting section. They'd lose their ass if they were focusing on the stocking up on pole vaulting.
- [92:19]
Brett Vesely
Yeah, you'd have to have, you know what, 10 foot ceilings.
- [92:23]
John Holmberg
10 foot people are going 19, 20ft in the air just for the pole polls. Oh, yeah. Just to lay it down, Dick's doesn't have poles. Dick's has poles. There's poles at Dick's, but not for pole vaulting. I don't think. I think they can order them now.
- [92:34]
Brett Vesely
For $830 for that pole vaulting pole. There's one for a thousand.
- [92:39]
John Holmberg
Yeah, you can get good polls on the Internet. I don't know how it works. Doesn't make any sense. It says, I think pole vaulters start out as high jumpers. And then they're like, you're pretty good at this. This you Ever think of adding a stick?
- [92:56]
Randy Sklar
No.
- [92:57]
John Holmberg
Here, hold the stick and then run at it and jam it into the ground and. And fling yourself over.
- [93:01]
Brett Vesely
Get you a shot put, too.
- [93:02]
John Holmberg
Shot put makes sense. You can practice with grapefruits until you, you know. Anyway. It's all crazy. This is for those Minnesota cheerleaders that are breaking the bank. Is that the girl? Rod's daughter's beautiful. Ask her how it started. How did it start for her? And you know what? Kudos to her, Rod, and the whole family for tolerating having a girl who works a pole so hard that she got a scholarship. The jokes are easy. Female pole vaulters. My God. Oh, she can handle a pole. Let's do it. It's Turbo lover, everybody. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.
- [93:40]
Randy Sklar
98.
- [93:46]
John Holmberg
Still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com Brett's out on a Thursday morning doing what Brett does. And he's got himself right there on 48th street in Indian School. You're right down the road in the arc in the heart of Arcadia, at the safe way of doing beautiful things, looking at beautiful people, and collecting that water, getting over the million bottle mark. Amazing, amazing. Operation Hydration this year. Brett, Brett. Close it strong. Last couple weeks. Give us what you got. Yeah, we are hanging out here collecting that water. We want to make that million dollar mark, or million bottle mark, like you said. And, you know, we've had a lot of people rolling through, a lot of people, you know, like some of these Arcadia moms swinging by. I don't got time for this. But just handing over the money. So, like, you don't got time to go in and go shop? No problem. Hand me over some cash, some envelopes. We'll go in and do the shopping for you. But we want to take care of the Phoenix rescue missions. We're pushing hard here at the end. And while you're out here checking it out, if you got time, swing by the tent. We're gonna. We're gonna sign you up for tickets for a Day to Remember. And Falling in Reverse. I think I got some Five Finger Death Punch CDs to handy and of course, the normal KUPD swag. So it's all happening. We'll be hanging out here till 9 o' clock or so. There you go. All right. And a beautiful spot and a nice morning. It's not so bad out there. And. And some glorious views. Yeah, the visuals are great. Yeah, it's a good spot. A Lot of we also, I also, yeah, I, I also got to thank Amco, of course learner and row and you know, Safeway Albertsons for hooking us up out here. Of course. And you're going to see a lot of ladies with five year old faces and. And 66 year old necks. Oh yeah, it's nothing but escalades and range rovers rolling through here. So awesome. All right, Brett, we'll talk to you a little bit. 48th street and Indian school at the Safeway this morning. Morning. Right there in the heart of Arcadia. If you're in the area and you want to drop off a couple bucks for Brett, he'll take that money, he'll do the shopping, he'll grab the water, we'll fill the trucks, we'll get out of Dodge and we'll be over a million. Hopefully today we'll see how all that goes. In the meantime, Brady will give us all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady report and it's brought to you by our friends at all pro shade. Add that shade on a beautiful day like today, you start thinking yourself, oh, it's better when the temperatures are lower. Well, you can lower those temperatures at your house house up to 20 degrees with all pro shade. They'll pick the spot. You guys come up with a plan and you drop that temp, get rid of those UV rays and sit and have nice outdoor space in your yard. It actually is like adding square footage. It's like a new room without all that hassle. All Prochade.com is where you go. Brady reported.
- [96:19]
Dale Hellestrae
Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix.
- [96:21]
John Holmberg
Hello world. Hi.
- [96:22]
Dale Hellestrae
A couple of basis fun facts. Oh, actually, happy national tattoo removal day.
- [96:27]
John Holmberg
Hey, hey. You gotta. You got that scuzzy ex boyfriend on your arm or slutty ex girlfriend on your leg or penis like flip orly.
- [96:37]
Dale Hellestrae
Get rid of it couple basis.
- [96:39]
John Holmberg
Are they offering discounts at tattoo parlors for removal today or wherever they remove those? I don't know.
- [96:43]
Dale Hellestrae
Be smart.
- [96:44]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I don't know where you go for that.
- [96:49]
Dale Hellestrae
This week, Shohei Ohtani hit into the 740th triple play in Major League Baseball. And it's 140 years.
- [96:57]
John Holmberg
It's amazing.
- [96:58]
Dale Hellestrae
149 years. Sorry. There are around three or three to four per season. Unassisted triple plays are more rare. That hasn't happened since 2009.
- [97:11]
John Holmberg
Geez, I don't remember who did it. Was it a twins don't have that. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. You catch, you step on the bag and you tag a guy out.
- [97:21]
Randy Sklar
Out.
- [97:23]
John Holmberg
It's pretty outstanding.
- [97:25]
Dale Hellestrae
NSYNC didn't just get its name because the boys were in sync. It uses the last letter of each of the five original members first names.
- [97:37]
John Holmberg
Oh.
- [97:40]
Dale Hellestrae
Justin, Chris, Joey, Jason and J.C. but Jason was replaced by Lance Bass later on.
- [97:47]
John Holmberg
Screwed it all up.
- [97:47]
Dale Hellestrae
Yep, they didn't change it. Macaulay Culkin was the first child actor to ever get $1 million for a movie paid. And that was Home Alone 2 my girl.
- [98:02]
John Holmberg
Oh, it's a terrible movie. He dies in the end.
- [98:04]
Dale Hellestrae
He got 4.5 million for Home Alone 2.
- [98:08]
Randy Sklar
Spoiler alert.
- [98:08]
Dale Hellestrae
And 8 million two years later for Richie Rich.
- [98:13]
John Holmberg
My girly dies from obesity Sting, doesn't he?
- [98:16]
Dale Hellestrae
Was that the other.
- [98:18]
John Holmberg
Oh, he dies.
- [98:19]
Dale Hellestrae
Yeah. Because the girl lives. That's right.
- [98:23]
John Holmberg
Yeah. It's like the last thing you see coming. And it's also weird because it was early 90s kid romance. Yeah, it's a strange movie. Anna Klumsky. Anna Klumsky. And then little McCauley gets nailed by a bee and he's out. He's done toast. What was the one with the kind of challenged kid who got. Was it when he got hit in it? Mom got hit in the head with a baseball and died at a Little League game. You're like, remember that? He was a little bit mental. Fouled one off and killed his mother. Simon Burch. No, Simon Burch was the dance. No, Simon Birch was that one. You're right. Yeah. Simon Burch is. He's a little bit mental now.
- [99:03]
Brett Vesely
He was the. He was the Wee Man.
- [99:05]
Dale Hellestrae
He was tiny.
- [99:06]
John Holmberg
Didn't he have mental stuff?
- [99:08]
Brett Vesely
I don't think so.
- [99:08]
John Holmberg
Anyway, he was all screwed, physically. Messed up. Chips went off. Makes contact chips.
- [99:13]
Brett Vesely
That was Ashley Judd.
- [99:15]
John Holmberg
Was it Ashley Judd? I thought it was Naomi. It was Ashley Judge. No, you're right. I was right. No, I was gonna say Naomi. John. I was kidding.
- [99:22]
Dale Hellestrae
A new Gallup.
- [99:23]
John Holmberg
One of the Juds. Holy cow. I gotta go watch that again. I'd forgotten it was Ashley Judd. But he chips a foul ball and kills his mom. Yeah. And then what does he. He goes back out and I think he hits a home run in the World Series or something stupid.
- [99:34]
Dale Hellestrae
Did you watch that in the theater or on.
- [99:36]
John Holmberg
Good Lord, no, I didn't go watch it.
- [99:37]
Dale Hellestrae
Okay, good.
- [99:38]
John Holmberg
I wasn't a big one for plopping down my cash for don't have Simon Birch baseball. But when I found out he killed his mother with it. There he is. That kid don't have mental problems. He's just A munchkin?
- [99:47]
Brett Vesely
No, he's a genius munchkin.
- [99:50]
John Holmberg
Not that big a genius. Couldn't save his mom. He fouled it off and he killed Ashley Judd with it. And then he's got to live with that for the rest of his life.
- [100:01]
Dale Hellestrae
That's where Happy Gilmore, too.
- [100:03]
John Holmberg
Well, that don't. No, because he didn't go on stunted 15 minutes later in the movie. He wasn't chipping foul balls into people on purpose. Oh, Happy Gilmore. So bad.
- [100:15]
Dale Hellestrae
A new Gallup poll found fewer Americans are drinking alcohol than any time in the past 86 years. Only 54 say they drank at least.
- [100:26]
John Holmberg
Sometimes this next generation is lame.
- [100:28]
Dale Hellestrae
The previous low was 55 in 1958. Gallup's been tracking it since 1939.
- [100:38]
John Holmberg
Is it because they're all on drugs from their doctor that they don't want to drink? They're already all high.
- [100:46]
Dale Hellestrae
One reason for the decline is more people see it as a health risk. Now, young people are a big part of that trend.
- [100:53]
John Holmberg
Yeah, they don't drink much. Well, they don't go to bars like they used to because they're all cranked out on Adderall at home.
- [101:00]
Dale Hellestrae
53% of Americans, according to the poll, now think even moderate drinking is bad for your health. That's up from 28% a decade ago. In 2022, 67% of Americans said they're drinkers.
- [101:17]
John Holmberg
Good. I'll tell you this.
- [101:19]
Dale Hellestrae
And that's how much so it dropped.
- [101:20]
John Holmberg
Basically, we knocked that curve out of the box Saturday night at the Rooster, that's for sure. Not a whole lot of folks there teetotaling. And it was more fun. A bunch of sober people trying to have fun at a bar. What's the point? That's just a restaurant, isn't it?
- [101:37]
Dale Hellestrae
Two teens were arrested in South Carolina after stealing a train for a joyride.
- [101:42]
Brett Vesely
A full size train.
- [101:43]
Dale Hellestrae
Yep. Miners broke into the railroad facilities in the evening, started an engine that was connected to two others, and drove it around the yard before taking it down the rail toward a neighboring town.
- [101:58]
John Holmberg
I gotta say, if I knew they started with a key like that, I think I'd do it, too. I would have assumed it would have been like 20 buttons and some sequence like nuclear codes. Yeah, but if it's just, hey, I started it. This. Can you imagine how fun that would be if you're just around at a rail yard and you're like, I accidentally started it. Yeah, we gotta drive it now.
- [102:18]
Dale Hellestrae
Well, they went on YouTube to learn how to start the train.
- [102:21]
Brett Vesely
YouTube can teach you anything get that video.
- [102:25]
Dale Hellestrae
The one thing they didn't finish on the video was how to stop the train. Pull the pull delivery the way back from the joyride. The train switched and they ran into several cars.
- [102:36]
John Holmberg
Oh boy.
- [102:37]
Dale Hellestrae
On the line, forcing one of them to derail, causing some that's not good damage.
- [102:43]
John Holmberg
I would, I would be in this pickle. I'm not gonna lie. If you get me in a train engine and it starts starts, I'm driving it a little bit.
- [102:50]
Dale Hellestrae
You're thinking we're just going.
- [102:52]
John Holmberg
I figure if whatever I do to make it go forward, I do the opposite to make it stop. Right? Yes. I don't know how to stop a train, but I also don't know how to drive it.
- [103:03]
Dale Hellestrae
Isn't it just a push button start?
- [103:04]
John Holmberg
You'd think at this point it's probably pretty like go and stop or button easier than handling a full train.
- [103:11]
Randy Sklar
The actual controls were simple enough. No more complex than a car. Really.
- [103:15]
John Holmberg
Really. And considerably less complex than a such a button that just says start is not a car.
- [103:21]
Randy Sklar
And this thing is chock full of safety features that you have to stay alert for.
- [103:25]
John Holmberg
You might have heard of the dead man switch. That is a pedal that has to.
- [103:29]
Randy Sklar
Be kept pressed down so that you.
- [103:31]
John Holmberg
Know there's a driver at the controls. Well, not only just let that go, let that go and I bet you the train comes to a stop. Either way, I'm not driving it out of the yard. I'm gonna do it like when I used to find my dad's keys and I'd back up in and out of the driveway. I'm not going on the road. That's crazy. It's John holmberg here for turfmonstersaz.com if that yard of yours doesn't look great all of the time, if it is work all of the time, it does not have to be. Turf monsters can come to your house and make your yard a beautiful showcase place for you, your family, your pets. Ye it's pet friendly as well. Anything you can dream up in that backyard they can do. Tell them Homeberg sent you. Get 10% off Turf Monsters. Az.com It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness for life. Changerloan.com A guy I know is going through a divorce which stinks for him. He's trying to figure out how much it's going to take to pay off the future ex wife. You got bills you want to consolidate. You got some stuff you want to take care of. Go ahead and do it. Or if you're just really good with money and you want to get out of that mortgage as fast as possible. Life Changer Loan is the way to do it. Average Customer saves about 200 150,000 in interest. House is paid off in about 5 years. Life changer Loan. It's not magic, it's just math. Lifechangerloan.com hey, what's up? It's Mo and my friends at the University of Advancing Technology has been ranked the number one best college for computer science for not one, but two years in a row. Which makes total sense because UAT are always on the lookout for those who don't just embrace technology, they live it. From advancing computer science and robotics to cybersecurity, gaming and artificial intelligence, UAT is where innovation thrives. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution, visit uat.edu mo. And don't just study tech, live it. Holmberg's morning sickness. Yeah.
- [105:27]
Brett Vesely
Put it in neutral. Make sure you're on a hill.
- [105:28]
John Holmberg
But if you get me in, if Toledo and I are in a train car and I hear like, we're driving it, we're driving it. I don't care. We'll take the jail time. This is. It's a sign.
- [105:41]
Dale Hellestrae
The dude with the largest crank, Matt Barr. Lives in England.
- [105:47]
John Holmberg
Used to kick for the Steelers back in the 70s and 80s. He had a brother too.
- [105:51]
Dale Hellestrae
His junk is 14.4 inches when fully engorged.
- [105:55]
John Holmberg
Jesus.
- [105:56]
Dale Hellestrae
He's in the news again. After his massive crank caused him to slip and fall in the shower. One of the issues was being so large, it's, you know, it's hard to see his feet.
- [106:09]
John Holmberg
He says that's not true. It can be 14 inches long.
- [106:13]
Dale Hellestrae
You can still see my feet. He added that the sudden movements can also mess up with his balance.
- [106:21]
John Holmberg
Oh, he's got one of those. It's swinging.
- [106:22]
Dale Hellestrae
It says when he's rushing. He was rushing to get ready for work. Didn't see the shower gel in his tub because his junk was the only thing that was in his eyeline. He slipped on the soap. He slipped, fell out of the shower, land on his shoulder. Ended up with two fractures.
- [106:40]
John Holmberg
You Brady? This has nothing to do with the size of his dick. The dude slipped in the shower.
- [106:44]
Dale Hellestrae
It says that the latest way is extra large goods have caused him trouble.
- [106:51]
John Holmberg
Boo hoo.
- [106:52]
Dale Hellestrae
He says becoming aroused, he can keep him become lightheaded.
- [106:56]
John Holmberg
Sometimes we all dream of your problem. Move on. I only get to use half of it on a woman. That's awesome.
- [107:05]
Dale Hellestrae
He recently went on vacation, wanted to swim at a pool at the resort. So he wore board shorts with compression shorts underneath to try to keep it tucked down. Still wasn't enough.
- [107:18]
John Holmberg
What is he, new to it? It didn't just happen yesterday. Come on, you still don't have problems with the tip falling out of the shorts. You've adapted. I don't want to hear this guy's problems. He's been blessed.
- [107:29]
Dale Hellestrae
Here's Matt Barr. Areas in long pants with the slate.
- [107:32]
John Holmberg
Look at the size of that thing. Yes, it's Bruce St. James with a huge dick.
- [107:38]
Dale Hellestrae
Yeah. Oh, my gosh.
- [107:40]
John Holmberg
He's got. Oh, he's got a broken arm because he fell in the shower. Is that what the picture's about? Oh, boohoo.
- [107:45]
Dale Hellestrae
But look at that.
- [107:46]
John Holmberg
It's so hard for me. You got no. You got no understanding of what it's like. It's like having a 15 pound pendulum swinging about. It sways me to and fro. I can't take showers. It's a run of risk of breaking bones, man.
- [108:02]
Brett Vesely
Get yourself in shape. Earn some money.
- [108:04]
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, jogging's impossible. You get smashed in the face.
- [108:08]
Brett Vesely
Yeah, there's other ways to get in shape. Swimming 14.
- [108:11]
John Holmberg
It's 14 inches. I can't use it on ladies. They hate it. No, they hate the last six inches. They'll love the first eight. I can only use little bits of it. Right, Go on.
- [108:24]
Brett Vesely
Yeah, to the base is something.
- [108:25]
John Holmberg
He can't go to the base or kill her. Have you tried? Oh, yes, I've tried.
- [108:30]
Brett Vesely
Although we've seen some ladies in Brett's videos.
- [108:34]
John Holmberg
There's some ladies that can take you, by the way. They're gonna get a kidney infection, but they can take you. That's all they complain about UTIs and bladder infections. It's because of me. I'm empathetic, Brady.
- [108:47]
Dale Hellestrae
I see that.
- [108:47]
John Holmberg
I've got to stuff it in there all the way. They won't let me. I thought you said I'm from England. I like the accent. Either way, it's good. Good. Look, I have to warn you. I know this date's going well, but if we've planned on making more of an attempt to solidify or consummate this relationship, I got to warn you, I'd be better off using my foot than my willy because it's going to kill you. Oh, it's worth it. You say that now. I'm going to split you like a bone. Tommy Hook.
- [109:18]
Dale Hellestrae
I'm going to send this to Bruce St. James. He can change profile.
- [109:22]
John Holmberg
It does look a Little like me. You give me 14 inches of dick and I'm 38 years old. I'm not gonna start going, I can't figure out how to keep it in pants. You're just showing off board shorts.
- [109:35]
Dale Hellestrae
Couldn't see the shower gel.
- [109:37]
Randy Sklar
Come on.
- [109:38]
John Holmberg
Her dick was in the way. My willie was in the way. I couldn't see the shower gel. Down I went.
- [109:42]
Dale Hellestrae
My John Thomas.
- [109:43]
John Holmberg
John Thomas blocked the shower gel on the ground. You're not aware as an adult that there's possibilities of shower gel that that you might slip on. Not with his huge dick swinging about.
- [109:54]
Dale Hellestrae
It's not a wee todger.
- [109:56]
John Holmberg
No. How can I get my huge dick swinging about? I'm gonna tumble. Gotta be careful of slippy eyes. Put it got Brady. Tomorrow come over to the house, help me put down little sticky flowers. And I bought my shower like poor people have. Poor dumb people. Little gummy suction flowers for poor dummies who don't realize that water and porcelain gets slippery. Oh, down I went. And the only thing to blame here is my huge todger.
- [110:22]
Dale Hellestrae
How many dates has he been on? And he's fainting.
- [110:24]
John Holmberg
I'm gonna call. Oh, I'm getting a little aroused because your breast is so knocked out. Your knockers had me going, ma. Oh, I'm going down. Oh, no, it's cause you knock us.
- [110:38]
Dale Hellestrae
He's constantly in a sling.
- [110:39]
John Holmberg
Oh God, I'm always got. His arm is always broken. And this time it's cause her tatties were so awesome. Couldn't believe it. I'm back in hospital. Did I pass out again? Is it because of my huge dodger? I better call the news and let everyone know about it. Oh yeah, it's such a tragedy.
- [110:58]
Brett Vesely
So much of the blood from your body.
- [111:00]
John Holmberg
14 inch dick doctor, give it to me straight. You fell in the shower, mate. Yeah, but it was because it became a huge todger. I know what you're talking about. No, of course not. You fell down. Is it cause I got this thing down here with this perpetual motion machine I call a dick? No, there's nothing to do with that. He just fell down. Another broken arm for me because it's John Cook. I can't say that word you until.
- [111:24]
Dale Hellestrae
Tomorrow at 9pm to vote on America's best restroom, go to restaurant best restroom dot com.
- [111:30]
John Holmberg
Mine.
- [111:31]
Dale Hellestrae
There are nine finalists right now in my house. Nope, they go around to public restroom restrooms.
- [111:38]
Brett Vesely
Yeah, there's a restroom on the like the 80th floor of the C first building in Seattle that got it one.
- [111:44]
John Holmberg
Year it'll be that Madonna in On Pismo beach has it. This is beautiful. This is the most amazing.
- [111:50]
Dale Hellestrae
Got one in San Diego. The rest seemed to be. That was the only thing kind of on the west coast.
- [111:56]
John Holmberg
I couldn't even use it if I wanted to, Brady. I. I get jammed into the sewer line sometimes. I haven't figured this thing out yet. Well, they call that a ballast. That's what I have.
- [112:08]
Brett Vesely
A ballast counterbalance.
- [112:10]
John Holmberg
I can't counter it. I'm not a crane. Out of control crane. Not a bird, mate. The ones that build buildings. You have to counter on the back or a tip over. Break me arm. Oh. Is that at the Amangiri?
- [112:23]
Brett Vesely
I think so.
- [112:24]
Randy Sklar
Yeah.
- [112:24]
John Holmberg
There's a beautiful resort in southern Utah called right there. Those are some beautiful bathrooms right there. That one has a soda.
- [112:31]
Brett Vesely
Kansas.
- [112:34]
John Holmberg
Nothing special about these.
- [112:36]
Dale Hellestrae
Some tile work there.
- [112:37]
John Holmberg
That's a cow. That's dark. This guy says, I just got in the car and all I caught was a British man saying I've got 14 inches of dick. What the alt az is happening over there? You got to get involved earlier there. Vincent. Come on.
- [112:58]
Dale Hellestrae
Domino's has become the first company ever to deliver a pizza via submarine.
- [113:09]
John Holmberg
Okay.
- [113:10]
Dale Hellestrae
They did on the Loch Ness.
- [113:12]
John Holmberg
That's stupid.
- [113:15]
Dale Hellestrae
Pretty cool.
- [113:16]
John Holmberg
No, it's not. Just walk it around.
- [113:18]
Brett Vesely
Unless they delivered it underwater.
- [113:21]
Dale Hellestrae
No.
- [113:21]
John Holmberg
2 Loch Ness to the. To the monster itself.
- [113:23]
Dale Hellestrae
So they set up some people camping and they got in this little mini sub and the delivery guy.
- [113:30]
John Holmberg
Brady. It happens to say dominoes on the sub. This is.
- [113:33]
Dale Hellestrae
Yeah, they built a sub.
- [113:35]
John Holmberg
This is not going to be a normal thing. This is a huge promotion to look for the Loch Ness monster with the Domino's pizza.
- [113:41]
Dale Hellestrae
They're going to start delivering them on the rig.
- [113:43]
John Holmberg
They didn't set up anyone camping on the side of Loch Ness. They would still. It's not cost efficient to deliver pizza via submersible.
- [113:51]
Dale Hellestrae
That's that little. That's just like a jet.
- [113:54]
Brett Vesely
Does it actually go under the water?
- [113:56]
Dale Hellestrae
It does. And then it keeps a little periscope or whatever that thing is just above. Love it.
- [114:02]
John Holmberg
Just walk up the shore. Asia Pizza, mate. I thought was to be delivered through the. Oh, you out your mind? It would cost us millions. Where's the pie is $30. What are you complaining about? Here's your pie.
- [114:14]
Brett Vesely
Where's my tip?
- [114:16]
John Holmberg
How bad is Domino's in Scotland? Their food's already dirt. I bet you they've screwed.
- [114:21]
Brett Vesely
It's got to be the best thing.
- [114:22]
Dale Hellestrae
It's better.
- [114:23]
John Holmberg
Scotland has got to have ruined pizza. Too. Guaranteed.
- [114:26]
Dale Hellestrae
I told you. When Thomas said hey, we would go to. We went to a fish and chips place. He's like, order the pizza.
- [114:31]
Brett Vesely
Pizza at the fish and chips place.
- [114:34]
Dale Hellestrae
And they deep fried it.
- [114:36]
John Holmberg
Of course they did. Scotland can't leave anything alone. They screw up all foods.
- [114:39]
Dale Hellestrae
It's not even.
- [114:40]
John Holmberg
You're not allowed to have that anymore. Never again with the deep fried pizza. 10 days away.
- [114:46]
Dale Hellestrae
I'll skip out on.
- [114:47]
John Holmberg
The pizza's pretty much done with you too.
- [114:48]
Dale Hellestrae
Nope.
- [114:49]
Randy Sklar
It is too.
- [114:52]
Dale Hellestrae
Nope. Let me ask you that.
- [114:54]
John Holmberg
Sugar? Salt.
- [114:55]
Dale Hellestrae
You went through your throat problems?
- [114:57]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I stopped doing everything. Yeah. I stopped. Everything the doctor told me to do. I did.
- [115:02]
Dale Hellestrae
Yeah, but the doctor said, you know what? Once it heals, then you can go back to making 16 cases.
- [115:07]
John Holmberg
No, I overdo it. I admit it. And if the doctor said it's gonna kill me, I would stop.
- [115:11]
Dale Hellestrae
Yeah. I'm not gonna overdo it.
- [115:13]
John Holmberg
You're not in an overdo it situation. Mine was. Brady. Mine was precautionary. You're having organs removed. There's a difference.
- [115:20]
Dale Hellestrae
Yeah, but it's not because of pizza.
- [115:22]
John Holmberg
It will be. Once you have only one kidney. It goddamn will be. It causes heart disease. Is the number one problem after kidney removal. Have you read that part?
- [115:31]
Dale Hellestrae
Yeah, but my kidneys are going to be working better.
- [115:34]
John Holmberg
It doesn't matter. Hold on. Your body's going to be under an amazing. Why do you do this? Your body's going to be an incredible amount of stress after this surgery. Your kidney's going to be working double fine. Not if you do what you're saying. Did you.
- [115:47]
Randy Sklar
You don't know what I'm thinking is going to be.
- [115:49]
John Holmberg
What are you doing? Are you killing salt? Are you killing pizza? Are you killing protein?
- [115:52]
Dale Hellestrae
We're going to lower salt.
- [115:54]
John Holmberg
Lower or get rid of. Because that's what a doctor means when they say lower your salt intake means don't eat.
- [115:59]
Dale Hellestrae
Lower that down.
- [116:00]
John Holmberg
No. From what you're doing to what a normal. No. No.
- [116:04]
Brett Vesely
How are you going to lower it down?
- [116:07]
Dale Hellestrae
Like you have to take a scale and I'll. I'll just put a salt lick in my backyard.
- [116:11]
John Holmberg
You're not gonna do it.
- [116:12]
Dale Hellestrae
Listen, Dr. Toledo.
- [116:14]
John Holmberg
None of us are doctors. And we're still more knowledgeable than you are.
- [116:18]
Dale Hellestrae
It is. You know, I. I did get a nice call from Fitz.
- [116:21]
John Holmberg
You. Of course you did survive. I care about you. Of cancer.
- [116:24]
Dale Hellestrae
He goes, are you tired of hearing advice from people like, of course I can take it for the most part.
- [116:29]
Jason Sklar
But.
- [116:29]
Randy Sklar
Brady.
- [116:30]
Dale Hellestrae
Yes. Everyone in the brotherhood. What did Fitz do what he told me to do. Got no what off whoever telling you you're not well. It's not that bad. You're not hearing, but he had good advice. He's just saying, you know what?
- [116:43]
John Holmberg
Keep eating the piece.
- [116:44]
Dale Hellestrae
Get through it.
- [116:44]
Brett Vesely
No, no, no. We didn't ask.
- [116:45]
Dale Hellestrae
What?
- [116:46]
Randy Sklar
We didn't ask.
- [116:46]
Brett Vesely
Advice he gave you. We asked what he did.
- [116:48]
John Holmberg
He got in great shape.
- [116:50]
Brett Vesely
He got in shape and dropped weight and got rid of his thyroid cancer.
- [116:55]
Dale Hellestrae
Yeah, but he eats what he wants.
- [116:57]
John Holmberg
No, he doesn't fit sure, does he? He wasn't told not to do it anymore. He doesn't have an organ that can't take it.
- [117:02]
Dale Hellestrae
He's a foodie.
- [117:03]
John Holmberg
He's a foodie. But Fitz has dropped what he used to do. Fitz used to be a gigantist and he's lost a ton of weight. And he keeps an eye on what he eats. And they didn't tell him we have that in common. The filter I keep an eye on. Oh, I know. You got your eye on the prize. Your filtering system's broken. His wasn't.
- [117:20]
Brett Vesely
His heart was his regulation system.
- [117:23]
John Holmberg
Your filter is busted. You can't go chucking leaves into a pool filter that doesn't work. Stop throwing leaves in the pool. Yes, you're tired of the information, but it comes from a place of love. People care about you. And when you say stupid stuff. Stuff. People are going to keep giving you more advice. Lie to us. No. I'm going to kill sodium. I'm going to not eat protein ever again. Good. You get no more people getting nervous for you.
- [117:46]
Dale Hellestrae
Okay.
- [117:49]
John Holmberg
I don't know why you don't want to. That's the bigger thing.
- [117:55]
Dale Hellestrae
Because I love it.
- [117:56]
John Holmberg
I know.
- [117:57]
Dale Hellestrae
Well, we love you enough to know that I like. I gotta cut down on.
- [118:01]
John Holmberg
Cut down. You have to get rid of it and then build back easily. Easily.
- [118:04]
Dale Hellestrae
We're gonna build back better.
- [118:08]
John Holmberg
Dead by Christmas.
- [118:10]
Brett Vesely
Mark it down.
- [118:13]
John Holmberg
A lot of salt water.
- [118:14]
Brett Vesely
August 14th. This son of a. Brady's got a plan.
- [118:18]
John Holmberg
I hope the Bengals win the super bowl this year. By the way.
- [118:22]
Dale Hellestrae
They'Ve got kill him.
- [118:24]
John Holmberg
No, he won't be here for it.
- [118:26]
Brett Vesely
Oh, okay.
- [118:26]
John Holmberg
There you go.
- [118:27]
Dale Hellestrae
Yeah, I'm not worried about that.
- [118:28]
John Holmberg
I'm not either. Neither. I'm both are going to happen. They'll blow the super bowl and you won't be there to see that either. God damn it, Brady. It's love. That's all it is. You don't see it. You see it as nagging. You see it as nagging, but it's love.
- [118:42]
Brett Vesely
You don't appreciate it.
- [118:43]
John Holmberg
You don't appreciate it.
- [118:44]
Dale Hellestrae
I sure do. But if you appreciate that, I mean, it's like telling you again, a guy that poisons every one of us, poison our body every day, but none of us are.
- [118:54]
John Holmberg
Okay, fine. That's great.
- [118:55]
Dale Hellestrae
You know, that's a good point. And wait until you make a decision. 60.
- [118:58]
John Holmberg
Oh, no.
- [118:58]
Dale Hellestrae
I got seven years on.
- [118:59]
John Holmberg
I know, but it doesn't mean that's going to happen.
- [119:02]
Dale Hellestrae
60 years old with these kidneys. And it wasn't because of pizza. Cause.
- [119:06]
John Holmberg
All right, listen. Nobody's yelling at you while you have it. What?
- [119:09]
Dale Hellestrae
You can't. I mean, if it was. What if it was caused by water.
- [119:13]
John Holmberg
Timeout, sons.
- [119:14]
Dale Hellestrae
Which is a good.
- [119:15]
John Holmberg
It has nothing to do with why you have it. It has everything to do with what's going to happen now.
- [119:19]
Randy Sklar
Yeah.
- [119:20]
John Holmberg
And it's clear cut.
- [119:21]
Dale Hellestrae
I understand. And I'll.
- [119:22]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [119:22]
Dale Hellestrae
I'm telling you that. I mean, I will need another kidney, of course.
- [119:29]
John Holmberg
Right. But we're all.
- [119:30]
Dale Hellestrae
It always helps to, you know, if you can eat better.
- [119:34]
John Holmberg
You always say that we're poisoning. I do. With the coke. And I admit it. Now, if I was dying from it and someone said, you got to kill.
- [119:40]
Dale Hellestrae
That dying from two pieces.
- [119:42]
John Holmberg
You're not in a good condition.
- [119:46]
Dale Hellestrae
Right.
- [119:46]
John Holmberg
To sit back and say it's going to be normal.
- [119:49]
Brett Vesely
When's the last time you had only two pieces?
- [119:51]
John Holmberg
You'd think I was. You'd think I was do. Yeah.
- [119:54]
Brett Vesely
Okay.
- [119:54]
John Holmberg
You'd think I was an idiot. If a doctor said, you need to get rid of this because we're doing a surgery and they.
- [120:00]
Dale Hellestrae
And they probably have. But you're not your choice.
- [120:03]
John Holmberg
If I had organs removed because in the future this is not going to hurt me, I would stop doing it.
- [120:09]
Dale Hellestrae
Marathons with grass ankles and say, you know what? Probably not the best.
- [120:13]
John Holmberg
None of what you're talking about is life threatening.
- [120:15]
Dale Hellestrae
But did I come to you and.
- [120:17]
John Holmberg
Say, hey, if none of what you're talking about is life threatening threatening, that's just me hurting myself. None of what you're talking about is life threatening.
- [120:26]
Dale Hellestrae
But there's nothing that I can do about.
- [120:29]
John Holmberg
Yes, there is.
- [120:30]
Dale Hellestrae
No, it. I'm just saying the cause of the thing was nobody cares about why you have.
- [120:34]
John Holmberg
What's going forward is the thing. Yeah. Oh, for Christ's sake.
- [120:39]
Brett Vesely
You've got this beat up car that you're taking to Shane Orlando and you're saying it's just fine. Just give it a new paint job.
- [120:44]
John Holmberg
You paint it?
- [120:45]
Dale Hellestrae
Yeah, it works.
- [120:48]
John Holmberg
It doesn't. In two weeks they're taking parts out.
- [120:51]
Dale Hellestrae
I'm just kidding.
- [120:52]
John Holmberg
No, you're not the scary part. Good Christ, man. Go on with your videos.
- [121:02]
Dale Hellestrae
I wish Bright could see this. First Brady video.
- [121:04]
Brett Vesely
We've seen this one, but it's a good one. God damn it, John. Why can't you see what Brady's trying to do? He just won't come out and ask you for one of your kidneys.
- [121:13]
John Holmberg
He's not getting one. I've already told him no.
- [121:15]
Dale Hellestrae
He's made that clear.
- [121:16]
John Holmberg
I met it. Very good. I said, I love you, I'll do anything for you, except I'm not giving you a kidney. It's not happening. Because I don't want to have to change my whole existence on my 90 power kidney.
- [121:28]
Brett Vesely
According to him, you won't have to.
- [121:29]
John Holmberg
Well, you do.
- [121:30]
Brett Vesely
No.
- [121:31]
John Holmberg
Got one. You gotta be careful for a little while. Make sure you're doing stuff right.
- [121:34]
Brett Vesely
Pizza. And so do you want, John.
- [121:35]
John Holmberg
Protein will knock you on your ass. It starts your heart into the red line.
- [121:38]
Dale Hellestrae
But that's what you're. That's what you're hearing. All the pizza and soda you can have. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying you have to eliminate it completely.
- [121:48]
John Holmberg
You can never have a really good idea, though.
- [121:51]
Dale Hellestrae
No.
- [121:53]
John Holmberg
And this is a horrible idea. It's a really, really good idea. And your condition. Really good. Stay off dialysis. Keep that kidney running at a better level. You do great kidney things. That's what I'm saying. You do great things for your kidneys.
- [122:06]
Dale Hellestrae
Even on dialysis. I'll be plowing things.
- [122:08]
John Holmberg
I know. Because you're a moron. That's what morons would do. Say, well, we just won the pyramid. What a would say the confetti flies. Go ahead.
- [122:20]
Dale Hellestrae
Little motorcycle accident, man.
- [122:25]
John Holmberg
He's right down the middle of the road and he hits the. Oh, my God. Then his friend. Oh, man.
- [122:28]
Randy Sklar
Oh.
- [122:28]
John Holmberg
Somebody runs right over him. Oh, my goodness. The dude hits the curb because it's a street divider.
- [122:36]
Dale Hellestrae
If he wasn't. If he thought that was just.
- [122:38]
John Holmberg
He didn't see it. It wasn't there before. And then it was.
- [122:40]
Randy Sklar
There was.
- [122:41]
John Holmberg
There wasn't a street divider.
- [122:42]
Brett Vesely
There was some of the hardest bikers you've ever seen. Spongebob backpack man.
- [122:53]
Dale Hellestrae
This one's guy that takes the law into his own hands comes in and helps out a guy that was stealing something.
- [123:00]
John Holmberg
Randy Orton. Boom. Tackles him and body slams him right to the ground. Oh. Puts him into a leg lock. Or that's an arm bar. He's got him in a big time arm. I thought he was going around and.
- [123:12]
Dale Hellestrae
I think he busted it because.
- [123:13]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, well, no, he broke. He broke his elbow. It's really easy to break it and it goes on. Yeah, well, it's a credit. How about that?
- [123:23]
Brett Vesely
Heads up tackle too, John.
- [123:25]
John Holmberg
Pretty nice.
- [123:26]
Brett Vesely
Put his shoulder into it.
- [123:27]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Wrapped up. He busts his elbow right there. And then he gets up and he goes about his business because it's got to be a cruddy country where you can just tackle a criminal and leave. All right, next one's a little police.
- [123:41]
Dale Hellestrae
One police guy against two guys that were up to no good.
- [123:45]
Jason Sklar
Yes.
- [123:46]
John Holmberg
Okay. He's fighting two guys. He said one guy's wrapped around his back. Gets him up on the. Throws him to the ground. Now the cop is up again. These two guys are bowed up to him. Cop squares up, he's gonna fight one. Well, he takes a swing. He takes the one guy to the ground. Ground. He's got one of the boys to the ground. The cop has got another guy on his back. Oh, he slams the kid. Here comes a truck, a Jeep compass. That's never good. A dude gets out of a car to break it up. Now we've got three on two. The bad guys have two, the good guys have three.
- [124:15]
Dale Hellestrae
Comes the Taser.
- [124:15]
John Holmberg
Taser's out. Down goes the. Oh, the one criminal is out with the taser. He gets up to fight. He pulls the taser out. This is an amazing. Hits him again with the taser and he goes dead stiff in the middle of the road. Oh, that's a solid hit right there. Excellent video there. Scary. Oh, it's not over. Wait, there's more. Now some of the passers by have gotten to a fight with the second criminal while the first guy has been incapacitated. Okay, that started over. Fantastic work. One cop held him off until a couple of buddies came by. That's fantabulous. Excellent stuff. Beautiful.
- [124:55]
Randy Sklar
I don't know.
- [124:56]
Brett Vesely
It's funny every time, but when they stiffen up when that.
- [124:59]
John Holmberg
Oh, when that thing hits and your body just goes dead electric. Oh, I love it. Pays more people on video, I say. And there you go. We'll check in with Brett one more time. He's over there at 48th street in the Indian school this morning. And we'll be shouting at him, finding out how Operation Hydration is going. The Sklar brothers are here, too. We'll chat with them next. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98 this is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. It's still over 110 degrees outside and the political climate is just as hot. If you've lost your right to possess a firearm due to a criminal conviction, we can help at Restore My Civil Rights. We help Arizonans restore all of their rights because constitutional rights shouldn't depend on the next election results. To book a free consultation, call 855 GUNRIGHTS or visit restoremycivilrights.com today. That's restoremycivilrights.com it's John Holmberg here seeing clear as a bell. Thanks to my friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Let the experts at the Schwartz Laser Eye center do that. Book your complimentary consultation with the gang at the Schwartz Laser Eye center and have Dr. Jay Schwartz talk to you about the best plan to make it so you don't need contacts or glasses ever again. Great eyesight is something you should not procrastinate getting and all you have to do is go see the team at the Schwartz Laser Eye center today. Schwartz Laser Eye center, the official eye center of your Diamondbacks and Sun what makes work Beautiful at lhh, we believe it's when recruitment, development and career transitions are more than just a set of talent solutions. They're part of something bigger. It's when the people you hire become the people you admire. When daily conversations become lifelong connections. When one journey ends and a new one begins. When leaders want to be learners, LHH is your single talent partner across the entire professional journey. Journey LHH helps businesses build strong teams, develop inspiring leaders, and guide careers through every transition with empathy, clarity and confidence. Our solutions are powered by data, science and over 50 years of experience crafted to align with your culture to drive measurable results and lasting impact. Ready to discover how LHH creates a beautiful working world, visit LHH.com beautiful beautiful recruitment development career transition LHH a beautiful working world still streaming. Homberg's morning sickness online@98kupd.com look who we found. It's Randy and Jason. The Sky Brothers.
- [127:38]
Randy Sklar
We made it.
- [127:39]
John Holmberg
The Sklar brothers are here. Finally. They were here the whole time. But their handler Alex was too busy looking in the mirror at his new haircut.
- [127:45]
Randy Sklar
It looks good hair. He's got good hair. We're here and we're happy. And I'm so happy that we're here because we can tell this story of what happened to us the last time we came post. The last time we came here.
- [127:57]
John Holmberg
Now you're at Desert Ridge Improv Again this weekend, Correct? Yes.
- [127:59]
Randy Sklar
Desert Ridge Improv. Five shows. One tonight, two tomorrow, two on Saturday. And the shows will be fantastic.
- [128:04]
John Holmberg
Killer shows always are. So tell us what happened last time you were here.
- [128:07]
Randy Sklar
So last time, they're like, you guys want to go to brunch, like, or just get some breakfast after this? We're like, sure. So the guy who was taking us around took us to the hash house. Have you ever been there? Hash house. Hash house.
- [128:17]
John Holmberg
Have you ever been there? Hash baker. You mean hash. Hash kitchen.
- [128:21]
Randy Sklar
Is that.
- [128:21]
John Holmberg
It's a hash kitchen.
- [128:23]
Randy Sklar
I thought it was the hash house. Yeah, it's like a hashtag and then the.
- [128:27]
John Holmberg
Yep.
- [128:28]
Randy Sklar
So we go there, and it's like 10 on a Friday morning or a Thursday morning. There's like a hundred people waiting outside to get in, and we're like, what is this? What it. There's like, bachelorette parties. DJ full blast. Like, full. Like, K Tronada playing full blast. Like, bro, you can't even be liking this right now. I can't. No way. You're into this. I can't hear myself over here over the corned beef, you know? Like, it's like. It was just insane. It made us feel very old.
- [128:56]
John Holmberg
But, like, DJ corned beef is a good.
- [128:59]
Randy Sklar
So we're mixing it up. He's mixing it up.
- [129:01]
John Holmberg
He's mixing it. He's mixing it all.
- [129:03]
Randy Sklar
So we. So we go, and Jay and I are sitting there, and it's like. We're like, anything's possible. There's a line outside. There's eight bachelorette parties. The DJ's full blast. We're waiting for our skillets to come, and Randy looks at me and looks at me and says the phrase I never thought. Thought anyone would ever say in my life. He said, is that Diana Taurasi? Okay, so WNBA star is a question favorite, and.
- [129:29]
John Holmberg
No, it was a busboy.
- [129:30]
Randy Sklar
No, no.
- [129:34]
John Holmberg
Thank you. Thank you. I'm allowed to say it. You guys can go down your road. Save your souls for your TV show. I'll do the best.
- [129:41]
Randy Sklar
So we. So we do think it's her. I think it's her, but we're not. She's with a woman, and I'm like, check all. She is in athletic. She's, like, in athletic shorts. So then, like, we're, you know, forensic scientists trying to solve. I'm trying to walk behind her and be like, man, I love those Yukon huskies. Like, to see if she would turn. I'm checking the circumference of her calf just to be like, is this a Is that an athletic. Is that a professional athlete? Then I'm looking at the quality of her footwear, and I'm like, like, is she wearing just some really, like, crappy shower shoes or is she wearing, like, really good slides? And then I'm, like, starting to sort of think about what is the WNBA pay scale? And then I'm, like, getting mad that they're not getting paid. What they should get paid. It turns out it was definitely not her. I'll tell you why. Because we're like, this could be Diane Taussi until she ordered, like, a Bloody mary at, like, 10 in the morning. Like, it's not Diane. That ain't her.
- [130:47]
John Holmberg
She's got a game at three.
- [130:47]
Randy Sklar
Yeah.
- [130:49]
John Holmberg
It could explain some of the performances.
- [130:51]
Randy Sklar
From the wnba, some of the erratic passing.
- [130:53]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's hilarious.
- [130:55]
Randy Sklar
You know, So I threw a green dildo at the bar, which was a weird call. Weird call.
- [131:00]
Dale Hellestrae
They put it in the Bloody Mary.
- [131:01]
Randy Sklar
It did, yeah. Very Bloody Mary. Very special celery stick.
- [131:08]
John Holmberg
I have been a fan of the dildo toss. I have specific rules about the. Because I don't think even at a funeral, somebody throwing a dildo doesn't break. Everybody's gonna laugh. It's never not funny funny. It's always gonn be funny. But throw it. When the girls are on the other side of the floor, throw it at the floor and try to land it. You can't suction cup down because then the referee trying to get it off the thing is going to be hilarious.
- [131:30]
Randy Sklar
The harder he pulls, the funnier it.
- [131:33]
John Holmberg
Gets for all of us.
- [131:34]
Dale Hellestrae
Shake weight.
- [131:35]
Randy Sklar
I'm here for the sheep pulls. Let's not assume that it is a male referee, but the. You could do, like, the. It's like the water bottle challenge that, like, every. Like, Millennial Kit or every.
- [131:45]
John Holmberg
I said that our company will give $10,000 to the first person that sticks one.
- [131:48]
Randy Sklar
Stick it. It's called stick the landing.
- [131:50]
John Holmberg
You imagine Marv Albert calling that game.
- [131:52]
Jason Sklar
Yes.
- [131:53]
Dale Hellestrae
Yes.
- [131:54]
Randy Sklar
Bite me on my back now.
- [131:55]
John Holmberg
Yes. He's totally into it. He'd run out there and get it for later.
- [131:58]
Randy Sklar
He would get it out of there.
- [131:59]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I like that.
- [132:00]
Jason Sklar
I like.
- [132:01]
Randy Sklar
I like. Can't believe that that hat, like, just walking out of here after doing, like, a lovely.
- [132:07]
John Holmberg
Yeah, you just have a Diana Taurasi moment.
- [132:10]
Randy Sklar
That potential Diana. It was like a fake Diana Tarasi. Anything's possible. We're like, we could bring the coyote babies back. We could bring the cat. I don't know if that's possible.
- [132:18]
John Holmberg
My dad had a racist Boss for a while. Yeah. And when I was a kid and we would do stuff with the racist boss and he was.
- [132:25]
Randy Sklar
Everybody had a race.
- [132:26]
Jason Sklar
Everybody.
- [132:26]
John Holmberg
Well, it was the 80s.
- [132:28]
Randy Sklar
Everybody was.
- [132:29]
John Holmberg
Let's be honest, my dad was probably right there with him, which is why we went to dinner with him. So.
- [132:33]
Randy Sklar
Yeah. All right.
- [132:34]
John Holmberg
So we went to. Every time we'd go to dinner as an eight or nine year old boy, as a huge sports fan.
- [132:39]
Randy Sklar
Yeah.
- [132:39]
John Holmberg
Jimmy Richards from DK to Georgia would go, johnny, you see that over there? Like, what is that? I believe that is. And he'd throw a name out.
- [132:47]
Randy Sklar
Yeah.
- [132:47]
John Holmberg
That's Lester Hayes from Oakland Raiders. Go get his autograph. Any black guy in any restaurant. I went up and said, may I have your autograph? Like, what? I'm an engineer on the train. Right. And he laughed. And dumbass me would fall for it every day.
- [133:02]
Randy Sklar
It's a trick on a kid. Our dad. Our dad used to do this with us. He would. When we were really little, like two or three years old, he. If he saw someone at a restaurant.
- [133:10]
John Holmberg
Too, like four or five, messing with the kids.
- [133:13]
Randy Sklar
He sold us into slavery.
- [133:17]
John Holmberg
He was a human trafficker. He thought it was hilarious.
- [133:19]
Randy Sklar
So, guys, we spent Nikes. Listen to me. We spent several years in Curacao.
- [133:24]
John Holmberg
You're making Gucci purses.
- [133:25]
Randy Sklar
We made the new iPhones. All right, so. So Randy and I, I don't know, we were four, maybe four or five. We were young enough to not really know. Young enough to not to turn him down on this. So he would see someone in a restaurant far away. He'd see any. And he'd see that the person didn't see him. And he'd be like, go over to that table over there. There. And go over to that guy in the shirt. And you describe the shirt. And he'd say loudly say, daddy at a restaurant. Which we would do. And like, this guy's like. His wife is like, wait, is there something you want to tell me? And there was always like an awkward moment because it was only funny to our dad, who was not at that table. Entertain your dad. We just did what he did. And our dad would be falling out of his seat, waving from around a pole. And he's the only one who thinks that funny. Everyone at the table, this guy. That is a great life.
- [134:14]
John Holmberg
Bit funnier still to do it now.
- [134:16]
Randy Sklar
Do it now.
- [134:16]
John Holmberg
Let's get up to like a guy in his late 70s and just enjoying his last meal.
- [134:20]
Randy Sklar
And we walk out.
- [134:21]
John Holmberg
Daddy.
- [134:22]
Dale Hellestrae
They wheel them in.
- [134:23]
John Holmberg
Yeah. And if you've got Papers, like just waving him. He would be convinced.
- [134:27]
Randy Sklar
We talked about this in our act about secret second family. Oh, dumbest idea. Secret second family. Dumbest idea ever. That is the. Not a mistress, not a. Not a side piece. A whole other family. What are you doing? Even the people who were in the submersible were like, that's a dumb idea. Stupid idea. Give me that Nintendo controller. That is a dumb idea. Secret family. Because no amount of sex with a new partner is worth seven back to school nights. It's just not. You gotta go to all of them. I don't care if three of them are on zoom. It doesn't matter. Like, what a dumb idea. It's so dumb. And I think that that plays into that. Us showing up as secret, secret children from another. It is secret.
- [135:10]
John Holmberg
So good, though. And I want to be part of.
- [135:11]
Dale Hellestrae
That documentaries where the guys that had a separate.
- [135:15]
Randy Sklar
A whole other family. My architect. My architect. Great documentary. I just want. Guy just want to find out about his dad and starts doing some research and all of a sudden, like, oh, got another family. Got a whole. Oh, that's why Dad. I mean, it is funny because we talk about this in the act too. Just about how, like, I love our kids so much. Like, I'll never, like, go out for a pack of cigarettes and never come back. Like, which was the first producer had to have.
- [135:37]
John Holmberg
We call him Baba Bastard because that's exactly for dads.
- [135:42]
Randy Sklar
A lot of 70s, 80s. Then I'm like, I do think find my iPhone's gonna, like, put an end to that. You know what I mean? Makes it tougher, you know what I mean? You're like, dad's been gone. He's been gone for a little. He's up in Flagstaff right now tooling around. But I can see where he's going. If your dad comes home suddenly with a Samsung Galaxy, he's gone. He's out of town.
- [136:02]
John Holmberg
He's out.
- [136:02]
Randy Sklar
That's his way of saying, I'm gone. Why are you right? Why are all my texts to dad coming up green?
- [136:10]
John Holmberg
Yeah, he stopped caring.
- [136:12]
Randy Sklar
We. We all have that friend on our text chain who's ruining every one of our text chains with the green thing. And, like, you can't get out of it now that they're on. Now you're in it. You're ruined it. Like, it's. I can't get off your Android time anyone. Like, you've ruined everything.
- [136:25]
John Holmberg
It's the hierarchy. It is the. The. The proletariat and the bourgeoisie. It's the green and the blue and the blues win the blues win.
- [136:32]
Randy Sklar
You poison the water green. Stop it.
- [136:34]
Dale Hellestrae
They are teasing. They're saying they trying to work it out to say it's all blue.
- [136:38]
John Holmberg
Send as text message because half the time yours don't go to them. And it says that little red exclamation point ruins everything.
- [136:44]
Randy Sklar
I'm in Europe. You're not in Europe.
- [136:46]
John Holmberg
Yeah, just check.
- [136:47]
Randy Sklar
Find my iPhone.
- [136:48]
John Holmberg
You're not roaming. Don't lie to me, Tiny. The little baby grainy pictures. Sam Suners. That should be. That's gonna be a slur someday.
- [136:57]
Randy Sklar
One of the S words, I'm hanging out. I'm hanging out. Out with his Samsung. You know. You know they're saying something bad when they bring their voice down. So I'm downtown and I'm hanging out with two of these Samsung. And your dad's boss is like, take a look at that man over there.
- [137:19]
John Holmberg
That's Samsung over there. Plays for the Raiders.
- [137:22]
Randy Sklar
His name is Samsung. He's the first Asian player to play for the Raiders. Daddy Brady gets it wrong.
- [137:33]
John Holmberg
The guy's like, come on, kid. The Skar brothers are at Desert Ridge this weekend. You want to head on up there? It's Desert Ridge. Improv.com. grab your tickets for that. Anything else in your world. Like, the kids are got to be like 30 or 35.
- [137:45]
Randy Sklar
So I'm about to drop both of my kids off at college. So they've got. So the older one's a junior at Michigan. The younger one got into Michigan. I'm going to drop them both off off on Monday. So we finish this weekend of shows and then we go to Ann Arbor and I'm gonna. On Monday, empty nester. I'm gonna be an empty nester. Which is.
- [138:02]
Dale Hellestrae
You think there'll be tears?
- [138:03]
Randy Sklar
Yeah. Oh, definitely. I mean, I love these kids. It's more like just because, I mean, the older one is. I'm dropping her back into an ecosystem that she loves. The older one is like, if she could have been a third of me and Jay. She's really funny, does like improv and sketch comedy. And it's like, wants to, you know, as a writer, she's very, very fun and can hang with this. The young one is my daughter. Like, the younger one is my daughter. I mean, I got mocked the other day for buying the wrong apples, which I never thought was anything anybody could ever get mocked for. My 17 year old, 18 year old came up to me with like an apple that was all brown and wrinkly on one side and she's like, do you even know how to buy apples? Yeah, when I was your age, I was turning that thing into a pipe. So, yeah, I know how to buy apples. You know how to buy apples. Which was really fun to say to no one because the second I started talking, she just left the room. Oh, yeah, she's gone. So that is my daughter and I. And she has never really been away from home, so that is it. But I do welcome the empty nestery that is kind of about to happen.
- [138:59]
John Holmberg
And she keeps this attitude up. She's going to find out what dad does with apples and she's going to start getting some green text.
- [139:04]
Randy Sklar
Exactly the green text. Where is dad? He's at Burning Man. Yeah, he's never coming back. So crazy. So on Monday, he drops him off and then the Michigan football team asked us if we would come and do comedy for the team, which is simultaneously the best and potentially the worst thing ever. Like, it could be terrible.
- [139:22]
John Holmberg
You can't strike out with the Michigan. Like, with you.
- [139:24]
Randy Sklar
This is huge material about it. Finally we can do the joke about, you know, like, you do Ryan Day jokes all. Oh, we're going to do T. Ryan Day.
- [139:32]
John Holmberg
Oh, it's Ohio State raped for two hours. That's all.
- [139:35]
Randy Sklar
I'm going to be just straight up.
- [139:36]
John Holmberg
I would just reenact the documentary as a comedy for the Michigan kids.
- [139:40]
Randy Sklar
Just Ryan Days.
- [139:41]
John Holmberg
Ryan Days.
- [139:41]
Randy Sklar
He's busy getting his beard dyed. Yeah, that's a natural color dying inside.
- [139:46]
John Holmberg
He goes to the the Walgreens and picks out Chinese black for a beard. I don't think that's a real.
- [139:52]
Randy Sklar
It's not even. I don't want to say the carpet doesn't match the drapes. The drapes don't even match the drapes. Ryan Day.
- [139:59]
John Holmberg
He's manufactured. Yeah. Did you guys enjoy the Ohio State documentary? That destroyed them thoroughly. Top to bottom. About that doctor that touched everybody's.
- [140:07]
Dale Hellestrae
Strauss gave the best physicals there was.
- [140:09]
Randy Sklar
Stop it.
- [140:09]
John Holmberg
He's an Ohio State fan.
- [140:11]
Randy Sklar
I know.
- [140:11]
John Holmberg
Had to be the greatest moment for Michigan fan.
- [140:14]
Randy Sklar
Well, you know, Michigan, I feel like every school had a doctor that they didn't that. That did that stuff. So. Yes. That's horrible. I mean, look, I mean, Penn State.
- [140:22]
John Holmberg
We know it's horrible.
- [140:23]
Randy Sklar
Was the defensive coordinator.
- [140:24]
John Holmberg
So I mean, Michigan State.
- [140:26]
Randy Sklar
It was the gymnastics doctor. So coach. So, like, I mean, we. Yes, you can go down the line. I wasn't happy that it happened. Look, I just am psyched that Michigan keeps beating Ohio State. Like, it is kind. Right now we're trying to think about how long it's been since Ohio State has beaten Michigan.
- [140:40]
John Holmberg
It's like four years, right?
- [140:41]
Randy Sklar
Five new iPhones have come out.
- [140:43]
John Holmberg
Five new iPhones.
- [140:44]
Randy Sklar
Michigan State has had five new coaches. I mean, let's be honest. That's it. I mean it's, it's a lot of time. So I. So wait. So my wife. For our. For Father's Day, I was like, is she gonna. You know. Cause my kids don't really. I mean they're fine, but like, you know, really. My wife surprised me and took me to like a hotel in la. In la. Like a staycation just for Father's Day. And I wasn't. She's like, let's go to this lumberyard. I'm like, in Pasadena. She's like, just wear your swimming suit. I'm like, wait, what? I might wear your swimming suit. Do the lumberyard. Takes me to the hotel and we go and like immediately eat some mushroom chocolate. Because that's what you do when your kids get older. You act like, you know, never had kids. And that's the funny thing is that I'm watching Randy have like zero patience for any children. I have no patience. None. So we go to the hotel. You like hear a kid at the hotel pool. You hear a kid peeping, you're like, get him out here. Shut them up and get out. But it should be seen and not heard. I've always said that. It's like I've never had kids in my entire life. So we get. This is the craziest thing ever. We're there and it's all kicking in and we're in the pool and we see a kid in the pool.
- [141:48]
John Holmberg
Pool.
- [141:49]
Randy Sklar
Who is naked now at a public pool. I'm like, what is the age at which, you know, where do you draw the line? Where it's appropriate for a boy to be. Where do you draw the line, Brady.
- [142:00]
John Holmberg
For naked child under 2.
- [142:03]
Randy Sklar
Okay. This kid was probably 7 years old and his parents are picking up and throwing him around. I'm like, my wife was like, I never thought I'd see like a. Because we have two daughters. I never thought I'd see a seven year old kid. Junk. Kid junk. And it is junk. It is no longer a wee.
- [142:20]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [142:20]
Randy Sklar
A ppp. It's official.
- [142:22]
Dale Hellestrae
Legitimate junk.
- [142:24]
Randy Sklar
Legitimate.
- [142:25]
John Holmberg
She.
- [142:25]
Randy Sklar
I never thought I'd see it. Kid has an icloud account, right? She said someone's junk if they have an icloud. Right. In cursive. Okay. If he was around when the hotel was built in 1960 you would have been the foreman on the project. Right. You would have had three kids of his own. Tell me she would be looking at his junk. She's like, I never thought I'd see a seven year old penis in my life. And I was like, yeah, you're not Kevin Spacey. Which, by the way, was such a trust. That's a good joke. When he's so. I'm like, what do we. What do we do in that situation? Because what can you do? It's not like you can. There's no lifeguard on duty. The second you approach the parents, they're gonna bristle, they're gonna go harder. They'll probably take their bathing suits off. Right.
- [143:02]
John Holmberg
Careful with that phrase.
- [143:03]
Randy Sklar
Right. I don't want to see that. So this is our solution. I think if you go to a nice hotel, you should be able to pay a little bit extra. Just a little bit. It's like a little bit more of a service fee. Service fee for more naked kids? No. Know to be able to hit two kids that aren't your own.
- [143:19]
John Holmberg
Oh, my God.
- [143:20]
Randy Sklar
It's better than just rough them up a little bit.
- [143:24]
John Holmberg
Strike fee is. I mean, it makes sense, right? You're gonna make me cry. I think this is the greatest idea I've ever heard.
- [143:30]
Randy Sklar
There will be a moment where you're checking out. I'm like, honey, I hit one kid. Did you? Oh, I didn't hit anyone. Okay, watch the luggage. Check us out. There'll be kids messing around. We leave our luggage up here. Or the flip side, when you show up and you're looking at your bill and you're like, this says, we hit three kids. We hit two, we threatened a third. A said, don't look under your bed for two years charge for that. That's like taking something out of the mini bar. Picking up, putting it down. Open it.
- [143:54]
John Holmberg
There's a time stamp on that. Thank you.
- [143:56]
Dale Hellestrae
But you moved the kid.
- [143:57]
John Holmberg
I'm sorry? You made contact.
- [143:59]
Randy Sklar
We moved him aside to threaten him. How is that bad?
- [144:03]
John Holmberg
Battery, technically.
- [144:04]
Randy Sklar
But him by his ear. I pulled him hard, but I mean, that's not part of the.
- [144:09]
John Holmberg
I would be all over that.
- [144:12]
Randy Sklar
Can we do that?
- [144:13]
Dale Hellestrae
Let's have the result. This is this strike fee. Parrot Resort. What's that mean?
- [144:18]
John Holmberg
The resort fee includes two smacks.
- [144:21]
Randy Sklar
Two smacks. Two. You're not in the face, you're not gonna, you know, neck.
- [144:25]
John Holmberg
Neck and chest area. Maybe throat. The throat is a two shot.
- [144:29]
Randy Sklar
Quick chop, shove a kick to the back, a chop to the solar plexus.
- [144:34]
John Holmberg
That Counts as one. That's not a double. Even though he can't breathe, I love it. If you knock the wind out of him, you lose your second.
- [144:40]
Randy Sklar
I'm not advocating for kidding kids, but I do think the hotel pool is like the end of civilization.
- [144:45]
John Holmberg
I'm not sure that's true. I think you advocated for it for a good five minutes.
- [144:49]
Randy Sklar
How. How about this? How about the threat of it? Like the. We don't have the threat of it anymore. Obviously none of us are doing that so the threat isn't even there. But if the threat's out there at hotels, you can ball your fist and make a kid flinch.
- [145:01]
John Holmberg
The five across the face being I.
- [145:03]
Dale Hellestrae
Like this gives you the rundown.
- [145:06]
Randy Sklar
Smacking. Non smacking. Yeah. Is this a non smacking resort?
- [145:09]
John Holmberg
He didn't check Trivago. You have to look for the deal.
- [145:14]
Randy Sklar
They have us in a non smacking room. I got to go down and take talk. I got to go down and talk to somebody.
- [145:19]
John Holmberg
Real problem. That's phenomenal. What a great idea. I knew you guys would come up with something.
- [145:23]
Randy Sklar
Come on. We're here. We're here. We here for everyone's benefit and we worked it out.
- [145:29]
John Holmberg
Do you guys want to hang around with Dale H. He's. Are you kidding? You don't know where he is, do you? Don't remember him at all.
- [145:33]
Randy Sklar
Dale Hillistrate. He's a.
- [145:35]
John Holmberg
He's a long enough.
- [145:36]
Randy Sklar
If I. If I'm Dale Hellscape.
- [145:40]
John Holmberg
The hellscape of Dale. Yes.
- [145:41]
Randy Sklar
He's the reason why the Cowboys want all those. He.
- [145:44]
John Holmberg
He will love.
- [145:45]
Randy Sklar
Are you talking about long snapper and backup guard D? Yeah.
- [145:49]
John Holmberg
I don't know where you got this information, but this is pretty amazing you guys can pull that out.
- [145:53]
Randy Sklar
I mean, look, we know our 1990s Cowboys special interior lineman, specialty players and backup lineman. I mean if anybody walks around, they ask us this stuff, you probably it.
- [146:04]
John Holmberg
Triggers the poster you had. Everybody had the day we did of.
- [146:07]
Randy Sklar
Him just completely soaking wet on a night street called fire and Ice. Yeah, we got it. We got it.
- [146:14]
John Holmberg
All right. Randy and Jason, the Sklar brothers are here at Desert Ridge Improv this week. And we'll talk with Dale and the Sklar brothers coming up next.
- [146:20]
Dale Hellestrae
98.
- [146:21]
John Holmberg
Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.
- [146:27]
Randy Sklar
98.
- [146:30]
John Holmberg
Why choose a sleep number? Smart bed.
- [146:32]
Randy Sklar
Can I make my sight softer?
- [146:33]
John Holmberg
Can I make my sight firmer? Can we sleep cooler Sleep number does that cools up to eight times faster and lets you choose your ideal comfort on either side. Your Sleep number setting it's the sleep number biggest sale of the year. All beds on sale up to 50% off the limited edition smart bed plus free home delivery with the purchase of any smart bed ends Monday. All sleep number Smart beds offer temperature solutions for your best sleep. Check it out at a sleep number store or sleepnumber.com today. Searching for a romantic summer getaway escape with Rich Girl Summer. The new audible original from Lily Chiu, the exquisitely talented Philippa Su. Returning to narrate her fifth Lily Chiu title. This time Philippa is joined by her real life husband Stephen Princess Pasquale. Set in Toronto's wealthy cottage country, AKA the Hamptons of Canada, Rich Girl Summer follows the story of Valerie, a down on her luck event planner posing as a socialite's long lost daughter while piecing together the secrets surrounding a mysterious family and falling deeper and deeper in love with the impossibly hard to read and infuriatingly handsome family assistant, Nico. Caught between pretending to belong and unexpectedly finding where she truly fits in, Valerie learns her summer is about to get far more complicated than she ever planned. She's in over her head and head over heels. Listen to Rich Girl Summer now on audible. Go to audible.com richgirlsommar limu and I always tell you to customize your car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. But now we want you to feel it. Cue the emu music. Limu Save yourself money today. Increase your wealth. Customize and save. We say that may have been too much feeling. Only pay for what you need@liberty mutual.com.
- [148:18]
Randy Sklar
Liberty Liberty Liberty Liberty Savings Very unwritten.
- [148:22]
John Holmberg
By Liberty Mutual Insurance Company affiliates excludes.
- [148:24]
Randy Sklar
Massachusetts.
- [148:27]
John Holmberg
Still streaming Homburg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com all right, I got a PT Barnum this entire deal. Now the Squire brothers are here. It's gonna be a circus. It's a. The Squad brothers are here. And speaking of circuses, three rings are with him as well. Dale Hellestray has joined us as well. Three time world champ.
- [148:50]
Randy Sklar
Let's go to the hell.
- [148:51]
John Holmberg
Yes.
- [148:52]
Jason Sklar
There you go. Hey, by the way, I. I require a phone call on Wednesday night. If somebody's been infringer palm I don't care how what movies they're in.
- [148:59]
John Holmberg
First off, never gonna call you. Quit begging. Second, the hellustrator is a really good idea.
- [149:06]
Jason Sklar
I brought four games for fox so.
- [149:08]
Randy Sklar
The hellrator.
- [149:09]
John Holmberg
You called it.
- [149:09]
Randy Sklar
The hell Can I talk about the hell? Absolutely. It's a thing. It's a telestrator that he does not know how to use. So he. The whole time is like, I can't. I can't get the pen to work. It maps the movements.
- [149:20]
Jason Sklar
You don't even need a pen. It's really easy. Even I can do that. It's a finger and it's a button. Sometimes you forget to click it off.
- [149:28]
John Holmberg
This was the same words his dad used for sex education. It's a finger.
- [149:31]
Randy Sklar
Finger. And it's easy. It is a thing you push. Find it. And I can't find the damn button. Tell your. Tell your mother to turn it on.
- [149:38]
Jason Sklar
Say that much.
- [149:39]
Dale Hellestrae
You'll never find my room.
- [149:41]
Jason Sklar
Sophomore year in high school. And he said, walking around my room, you know, my mom made him come in there. And finally he goes, do you have any questions?
- [149:50]
John Holmberg
That was it. You didn't even know the time.
- [149:51]
Jason Sklar
I said. I said, no. And he goes, good. And he walked out. That was my sex.
- [149:56]
Randy Sklar
And then it was questions. And he's like, who is Emmett Smith? Oh, Jesus.
- [150:03]
John Holmberg
A little later.
- [150:05]
Randy Sklar
It's unbelievable. It is a very long snapper.
- [150:08]
John Holmberg
I thought, I've seen Dale do. He does Arizona rattler games and he does use the Hellustrator, but it usually is just a picture of a cat and then the word cat and he's trying to find a line like, which one is what? And it's like, I got it. All right, so Dale is. Dale is here because you guys have a sports background, having had ESPN shows and shows.
- [150:25]
Randy Sklar
ESPN guest hosted Jim Romes radio shows forever. Literally. We just did a week of it this summer.
- [150:30]
John Holmberg
Did you?
- [150:31]
Randy Sklar
Yeah. So we're in it. Let's. Let's. Let's get deep. Great show to host.
- [150:36]
John Holmberg
If it isn't by me, it doesn't matter. But I do enjoy having these Clar brothers involved.
- [150:42]
Randy Sklar
Brothers.
- [150:43]
John Holmberg
When they call you and say, hey, Randy and. Or Jason, I do not know who I am talking to. Can I get you to fill in for a week? I am going to Cancun.
- [150:52]
Randy Sklar
I'll be in Wisconsin. I am going to Cancun.
- [150:55]
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's got to be awesome.
- [150:57]
Randy Sklar
Oh, yeah. No, he's amazing. And his audience is great in terms of. They just, you know, he's got his clones. We've got the.
- [151:07]
John Holmberg
What would your listeners be called? Anyway, we moved on.
- [151:13]
Jason Sklar
Don't think that they're on your side.
- [151:15]
Randy Sklar
By the way, dishonorably discharged marines. That's his audience.
- [151:20]
John Holmberg
That's right. I like that. But Dale is. Dale is. He's knowledgeable about certain things. Yes.
- [151:27]
Jason Sklar
Not rock music.
- [151:28]
John Holmberg
Not music. Not.
- [151:29]
Jason Sklar
I got hammered for my Take on Ozzy Osbourne, which was.
- [151:32]
John Holmberg
He hates him.
- [151:32]
Randy Sklar
You hate.
- [151:34]
Jason Sklar
Well, people were, like, really upset about him. Died.
- [151:36]
Randy Sklar
Let's not go back there.
- [151:37]
Dale Hellestrae
Let's not go back there.
- [151:38]
Randy Sklar
Let's not go back there.
- [151:39]
John Holmberg
The day after he died, Dale comes on the show and starts telling us that. What's this? This? He was like a loser. A hippie couldn't sing.
- [151:46]
Randy Sklar
Dale comes on the show. Guys, Sharon Osborne's husband died.
- [151:49]
John Holmberg
What?
- [151:50]
Randy Sklar
No. Did you hear that? He was available. He was really broken up when Randy Rhodes died.
- [151:54]
John Holmberg
So that was just a finger and a button.
- [151:57]
Randy Sklar
Just a finger and a button. Where's. How can your mom keep hiding it now?
- [152:00]
John Holmberg
You said something about long snappers or something in the past.
- [152:04]
Randy Sklar
No, I was just talking about. There was a moment we were talking about, you know. You know, Brady and we're talking about tumors.
- [152:12]
John Holmberg
Yeah, sure. The fun stuff. Yeah. No, the comedy basics.
- [152:16]
Randy Sklar
I was just talking about how Gary Coleman and you had mentioned that. Isn't that crazy that Gary Coleman and Malcolm Jamal Warner were outlived by Todd Bridges? And I just read a thing that Eddie Murphy. Murphy had Rick James do an intervention on Todd Bridges. How many drugs do you have to be doing to have Rick James come into your lifeline? Yeah, just be, like, the sensible one. Rick James is, like, putting order to the situation. Jay and I were up in Buffalo, and I know you played Buffalo when you were playing, but we were up in Buffalo and I don't know if, you know, drafted by Buffalo, so. Did you know that Rick James is buried in Buffalo? I did not know that. That should be on the airport, right? Rick James should be like, welcome to Buffalo. Rick James is buried here, bitch. That should be what it is. So we go to the grave. We go. And it's just like a normal headstone. I mean, you think of. No, there was, like, a image of him on that. Totally. And of course, what's sitting in front of it is like Mardi Gras beats Marty Grabeats Lays. Because no one repped Hawaii more than Rick James. Beer bottles. Empty beer bottles. We're like, what just was what was artfully placed here and what just blew.
- [153:21]
John Holmberg
In from what movie was Don Ho buried in Buffalo as well?
- [153:25]
Randy Sklar
Highway. But they were like, that's the most fitting tribute for Rick J. Because like, any party of his was who was artfully invited and who just blew in from the highway. I mean, what better way to Rick James to save Todd Bridges life? And he's the one who survived.
- [153:39]
John Holmberg
Yeah, he's the one who left.
- [153:42]
Randy Sklar
Yeah, he took Half outlasted Jaina Plato.
- [153:44]
Dale Hellestrae
He took half of Todd Bridges drug stand.
- [153:46]
Randy Sklar
That's right.
- [153:47]
John Holmberg
Is it true?
- [153:48]
Randy Sklar
He's like, you know what?
- [153:49]
Dale Hellestrae
He's got halfway though.
- [153:50]
Randy Sklar
I'll take this for you. It's going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you. That's right, Rick. It is.
- [153:54]
John Holmberg
Todd is the only remaining cast member of different struggle.
- [153:58]
Randy Sklar
I thought Philip Drummond was still alive.
- [154:04]
John Holmberg
Mr. Drummond. Worst television dad maybe in the history of television.
- [154:08]
Randy Sklar
He was. I was like 70.
- [154:10]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Yeah. And also like his. All of his kids.
- [154:13]
Randy Sklar
That was like a weird period of time where it was like let's focus on rich dads and their kids. It was like silver spoons and that. It was like a period of time.
- [154:21]
John Holmberg
Where like pitch meeting is. The thing that gets me is somebody had to go and go, okay, two young kids parents are dead.
- [154:28]
Randy Sklar
Y. Right.
- [154:28]
John Holmberg
And they get adopted by a rich guy.
- [154:30]
Randy Sklar
Right.
- [154:30]
John Holmberg
Then the funny starts like there's no traumatic scarring at all. And so big dead parents. Then. Then ABC said we need this. Yeah, find me a small black kid. We're going to kill his parents and.
- [154:42]
Randy Sklar
Give him two football actually a man actually.
- [154:45]
John Holmberg
At least I don't want to deal with the.
- [154:47]
Randy Sklar
Probably shouldn't be talking to Dana Plato. There is between takes.
- [154:52]
Dale Hellestrae
And was she the biological do?
- [154:54]
John Holmberg
Yes. Yes. And there was no mention of a mother. She had also lost her mother. So many deaths in sitcom children's lives. The Brady Bunch. Dead family everywhere just lousy with dead parents. And their kids are fine with it.
- [155:08]
Randy Sklar
You shall know us from the trail of our dead.
- [155:10]
John Holmberg
The streets will flow with the blood of dead parents on sitcoms.
- [155:14]
Randy Sklar
Dead of basket this Friday on the field.
- [155:16]
John Holmberg
Do you remember different strokes at all?
- [155:17]
Jason Sklar
I remember the show I was about to big tv. I remember the little guy and the old dad. I remember a little bit. But by the way refreshing my memory.
- [155:28]
Randy Sklar
Little guy in the old dad just been describing Fantasy Island. Little guy in the old dad was the 80s chico.
- [155:39]
Jason Sklar
Have I heard that the Dana Plato's name recently?
- [155:43]
John Holmberg
Well, because they just said it. This is how bad the CTE is.
- [155:46]
Randy Sklar
Oh my Lord.
- [155:48]
Jason Sklar
Somewhere. Did something happen to her?
- [155:50]
John Holmberg
You can't read.
- [155:51]
Randy Sklar
She washed her hair with acid rain and it turned green.
- [155:54]
John Holmberg
That's right. She did Playboy. She went away.
- [155:57]
Randy Sklar
She did.
- [155:57]
John Holmberg
I think Rick James killed her on his way to Todd Bridges house.
- [156:00]
Randy Sklar
He just held her hostage. There's nothing wrong with that.
- [156:02]
Dale Hellestrae
He had to drop.
- [156:02]
Jason Sklar
You don't quit doing drugs. The gets it.
- [156:04]
John Holmberg
That's how Rick James's interventions were.
- [156:06]
Randy Sklar
That was my Favorite episode of different stories.
- [156:07]
John Holmberg
That's very special.
- [156:09]
Randy Sklar
I think the two parter chained to a radiator. Two parter. Fantastic.
- [156:14]
John Holmberg
They did have that episode though where Gordon jump raped Dudley. Never brought up again.
- [156:19]
Randy Sklar
Never touc.
- [156:20]
John Holmberg
Dudley came back a week later still afraid of the gooch. I think he would have had a different fear. Terrible. Yeah, terrible.
- [156:26]
Randy Sklar
Terrible. You don't remember that?
- [156:27]
Jason Sklar
I have no idea.
- [156:29]
John Holmberg
He ran a bicycle shop.
- [156:30]
Jason Sklar
And Dudley and Arnold doing things I was doing.
- [156:34]
Randy Sklar
We were not.
- [156:36]
John Holmberg
I was with Randy and Jason. We were watching sitcoms about kids being abducted.
- [156:40]
Randy Sklar
Come on.
- [156:41]
John Holmberg
It's true though. It was a comedy tonight.
- [156:43]
Randy Sklar
How do you do that?
- [156:44]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [156:45]
Jason Sklar
How old are you two?
- [156:46]
Randy Sklar
How old do you think we are again?
- [156:49]
Jason Sklar
And when you get dolled up a little bit. You guys look dolled up this morning. You didn't shave.
- [156:54]
Randy Sklar
Yeah.
- [156:55]
Jason Sklar
You look like you have bed head. I'd say you're 55.
- [156:58]
Randy Sklar
Oh, my God.
- [156:59]
Dale Hellestrae
Jesus.
- [157:00]
Randy Sklar
53. He put two years on us. 53. We're almost 54, so. He's exactly right. He's a clairvoyant.
- [157:08]
John Holmberg
That hurts.
- [157:09]
Jason Sklar
Hey, I'm not trying to pick up on you too. No, it's okay to say 42.
- [157:13]
Randy Sklar
I was going to say you look like you're.
- [157:15]
John Holmberg
Here we go.
- [157:16]
Randy Sklar
Here we go.
- [157:16]
John Holmberg
You died years ago. No. Are you.
- [157:18]
Jason Sklar
No. Are you going to be off?
- [157:19]
Randy Sklar
Honest, Honestly.
- [157:21]
John Holmberg
Think Dale is 63? Hot dog.
- [157:24]
Randy Sklar
66.
- [157:24]
Jason Sklar
You guys googled me.
- [157:26]
Randy Sklar
How old are you? How old are you?
- [157:28]
John Holmberg
63, I guess. That's pretty good.
- [157:30]
Randy Sklar
I guess.
- [157:30]
John Holmberg
And you were being nice, which I appreciate.
- [157:32]
Randy Sklar
Trying to. Trying to make it better.
- [157:35]
John Holmberg
That is pretty nice. They hit it right on the head. Dale thinks he's an eight. He thinks in this room there's no way a woman.
- [157:40]
Randy Sklar
Yeah.
- [157:41]
John Holmberg
What was the thing I told you like of a thousand women.
- [157:44]
Jason Sklar
A thousand sixty year old women from all walks of life. We're in a room.
- [157:48]
Randy Sklar
How many of them are husbands died.
- [157:51]
Jason Sklar
Everybody's single.
- [157:52]
Randy Sklar
Okay.
- [157:52]
Jason Sklar
All the women. 60 women for all walks of life.
- [157:54]
Randy Sklar
Yeah.
- [157:55]
Jason Sklar
Good, bad, ugly, pretty. Whatever. John Sundays. Less than 5 would turn and have interest in me.
- [158:03]
John Holmberg
They would turn and look now by saying interest not in like, holy cow.
- [158:06]
Randy Sklar
I want to go on a date with you.
- [158:08]
John Holmberg
That interest, not the. Oh my God. What did the scientists do?
- [158:13]
Jason Sklar
I said at least 800 to 900.
- [158:16]
Randy Sklar
800 to 900. Out of thousand.
- [158:19]
Jason Sklar
Out of a thousand would look towards me and go, yeah, that's an all right looking guy for 63.
- [158:24]
Dale Hellestrae
Yeah.
- [158:24]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Don't agree with this. No.
- [158:26]
Randy Sklar
But I don't know if they'd come over and have the interest.
- [158:29]
John Holmberg
No. 5 to 7.
- [158:30]
Jason Sklar
No. They'd be giving me the vibe, you know, they'd be looking at me.
- [158:35]
Randy Sklar
What is that? Hold on.
- [158:36]
John Holmberg
Are they looking at Brady?
- [158:37]
Jason Sklar
He's 60. Or they looking at me?
- [158:39]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [158:40]
Dale Hellestrae
I would have at least 10.
- [158:41]
Randy Sklar
Brady has like a. Are you talking about a kidneyless Brady down a kidney? Kidney less Brady?
- [158:49]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Is Brady bringing his dialysis machine? Is that.
- [158:52]
Randy Sklar
Who's got one kidney and ready and two thumbs and ready to party? This guy.
- [158:56]
Dale Hellestrae
The problem on the machine behind me. That is chick magnets.
- [158:59]
Randy Sklar
I think you have my oxygen. Is really a great pickup.
- [159:02]
John Holmberg
All you guys are describing to me is as Brady and Dale walk in is a thousand women who want their money back.
- [159:07]
Randy Sklar
Yes.
- [159:08]
John Holmberg
That's all I'm thinking. That's like if they came there to meet a man.
- [159:11]
Randy Sklar
Yes. And you guys were the options.
- [159:12]
John Holmberg
And these two rolled in post 60. They're like, nah, we are.
- [159:15]
Jason Sklar
We.
- [159:15]
John Holmberg
Lesbianism would rise in that room.
- [159:17]
Jason Sklar
We asked woman who's in her 50s, and she said at least 900 would.
- [159:22]
Randy Sklar
Turn at least 900.
- [159:24]
Jason Sklar
And you know that you heard it and you tried to poo poo.
- [159:27]
John Holmberg
Because she was being kind. And women can't count past 900. I think that's the thing I was getting at. I'm not sure. I had to say something atrocious to this.
- [159:36]
Randy Sklar
He brought it around. Does that woman, Dana Plato, rest in peace? May she rest in peace. And I want Dale to rest in peace. Not because he's dead. I just want him to get a good night's sleep. He's got some aches and pains.
- [159:47]
John Holmberg
Beat up.
- [159:47]
Jason Sklar
Yeah, a lot of aches and pains. Going in for a back shot today.
- [159:50]
Randy Sklar
Are you really going in for a back shot?
- [159:52]
John Holmberg
That's a good point, sir.
- [159:53]
Randy Sklar
That is back shots.
- [159:55]
Jason Sklar
A pain shot in my.
- [159:57]
Randy Sklar
Oh, we get it.
- [159:58]
John Holmberg
Don't. Don't get graphic. Oh, no.
- [160:00]
Jason Sklar
He was going down the highway here that I didn't like.
- [160:02]
John Holmberg
I have a name for that highway.
- [160:04]
Randy Sklar
You need to say in your back, not on your back.
- [160:07]
Dale Hellestrae
Big fan of back shots.
- [160:09]
John Holmberg
Evidently, you get your shots. Why are your shoulders and knees touching him? That's weird.
- [160:15]
Randy Sklar
Dale will come in there. They're like, sir, you do not need to get completely naked for this. Dale, put your.
- [160:24]
Jason Sklar
At Ohio State, you go in for a straight shoulder. You drop your drawers.
- [160:28]
Randy Sklar
As Michigan guys, we can. I will allow that. I will allow that. I'm now on Dale's side. You know what 700 women were killing. I just changed my tune, Dale, because You'd walk in and be like, who wants a back shot? I got him. I'm Dale. I got back shots all around. My doctor's at pornhub. He's right down the street.
- [160:51]
John Holmberg
The Sklar brothers are at Desert Ridge. Improv.com Dale's just in the room. We're hanging around here, doing this and sports in general. Football season starting a little bit. You guys, can we talk about the thing you're going to do or is that off limits?
- [161:04]
Randy Sklar
So we get to. So we're connected with the University of Michigan. We went there. Both of my daughters are going there. I'm taking both of them up to school on Monday. And, you know, one of the guys were connected with Shiron Moore, the coach of the team. They asked us to do comedy in front of the team.
- [161:18]
John Holmberg
Yeah, really?
- [161:19]
Randy Sklar
Comedy in front of the team. Which will either be great or terrible. It's like 105, 18 to 22 year old, predominantly African American young men who have only played football and don't sort of.
- [161:30]
John Holmberg
So look your normal audience.
- [161:32]
Randy Sklar
Right. This is.
- [161:33]
Jason Sklar
I would not build your comedy routine around Dana Plato.
- [161:39]
Randy Sklar
We'll keep the references to Lil Yachty.
- [161:41]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Break out as as much Lil Yachty as well.
- [161:45]
Randy Sklar
Lil Yachty. But I'm excited. It's. It's very cool. We, we love Michigan, obviously. We're big fans. I think for you guys, if I can make it local. You guys are very lucky to have Will Johnson on this Cardinals team. I think he is going to be a star. He is going to be a star. He is a stud.
- [162:01]
John Holmberg
As long as he stays healthy, he will be healthy.
- [162:03]
Jason Sklar
He will.
- [162:04]
John Holmberg
You can guarantee this.
- [162:05]
Randy Sklar
I guarantee he'll be healthy.
- [162:06]
John Holmberg
They're like Merlins.
- [162:07]
Randy Sklar
I'm telling you, he is going to be a sarge.
- [162:09]
John Holmberg
They've cast the spell.
- [162:11]
Randy Sklar
This city will fall in love with him. He is going to be fantastic.
- [162:15]
Jason Sklar
He's got the look. He's got the.
- [162:17]
Randy Sklar
He's everything size, great look, great instincts. He's going to have a lot of interceptions. He's a tough physical back. You guys are going to love him.
- [162:23]
John Holmberg
All right, there you go. I don't care about the Cardinals. I'm a Steelers fan, so it doesn't bother me at all.
- [162:27]
Jason Sklar
But I do live in Michigan.
- [162:29]
Randy Sklar
No, we live in la, but went to Michigan and go back all the time. The Steelers are going to have also Shadur Sanders, like, doing the most Shadur Sanders thing ever. Like an incredible preseason game and then breaks his oblique. Like, screws up his oblique. Yeah. Throwing like, just. I Don't know his keys to the Browns.
- [162:47]
John Holmberg
They have to have that happen to them. The good thing is they've got six quarterbacks.
- [162:52]
Randy Sklar
Got Dylan Gabriel, you got Tim Couch is coming. Gabriel. Wonderful.
- [163:01]
John Holmberg
Even Dana Plato is going to throw.
- [163:02]
Randy Sklar
Dana Plato's got a couple of reps in there.
- [163:04]
John Holmberg
Why not at least at somebody she.
- [163:06]
Randy Sklar
Runs the Wildcat as we know. Yeah.
- [163:10]
John Holmberg
So who's going to win the Super Bowl? Go that far right off the bat super bowl brothers make the pick.
- [163:15]
Randy Sklar
What do you think, Ran? I mean I would love to see Detroit win the super bowl because I'm all. Or Buffalo. I'm all for a franchise that has not won to step up when I'm. I. Look we grew up in St. Louis so we rooted for the St. Louis Cardinals for years and years and they never won. They were 5 and perennial. 5 and 11. Like our highlight was when Neil Lomax.
- [163:34]
John Holmberg
No, no.
- [163:35]
Randy Sklar
Novo Boyovic, the kicker who came over, kicked a field 52 yard field goal, ran in the end zone and spiked it. That's injured himself and injured himself spiking him like Martin Grammatica style.
- [163:44]
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah.
- [163:45]
Randy Sklar
So that so. And then they left and then we left and then the rams came to St. Louis and we were happy for them and really loved that team. It was a fun. The greatest St. Louis and they left. They came back to LA so we don't really have a team which is actually makes me enjoy the sport more. I can actually watch all of it.
- [164:02]
John Holmberg
And you don't have the down days, right.
- [164:04]
Randy Sklar
Because if your team loses, when the Steelers lose, it ruins your weekend. You, you're done.
- [164:09]
John Holmberg
Week, week, week, it's over. I got to sit and watch.
- [164:11]
Randy Sklar
Well, that's how you know you're a true fan. Okay, but when your team wins, you're going to start listening to podcasts. You're going to start listening to this. You start reading the stuff online. It's actually. It fills your whole week. That's the way you feel about Michigan sports.
- [164:22]
Jason Sklar
Are you a Rams fan out in LA though?
- [164:24]
Randy Sklar
I like the Rams, but if you made me choose, since we know Harbaugh from Michigan, I would probably root for the Chargers in la. Chargers are going to be fun. Chargers all defense. Actually the defense is going to carry the Chargers.
- [164:35]
John Holmberg
Fan of the Harbaugh.
- [164:36]
Randy Sklar
You don't like Har?
- [164:37]
Jason Sklar
Well, I personally know him and I've done games of his and he can be a real.
- [164:41]
Randy Sklar
Yeah, he's prickly.
- [164:43]
Jason Sklar
No, no, no, not prickly. So stop whisper.
- [164:48]
Randy Sklar
It's a shot. It's a shot. In his back, not on his.
- [164:52]
Dale Hellestrae
He's getting one.
- [164:53]
Randy Sklar
He's getting the distinction. You have to make the distinction, though, whether someone's on the spectrum or not. You got to understand who the guy is. So Harbach, when we were talking to Harbach, he was like on his podcast, and he said, every time I try, how do you be funny? He's like, every time I try to be funny, nobody laughs. But when I'm not trying to be funny, people laugh. And we laughed at that. And he was like, I wasn't trying to be funny. I'm like, I don't know what to tell you. It's like an instinctual thing.
- [165:18]
John Holmberg
He doesn't have it.
- [165:19]
Randy Sklar
You can see it well, but he loves football and he loves. I don't think the Chargers are going to win the super bowl this year.
- [165:27]
Jason Sklar
They lost their left tackle after giving them $100 million.
- [165:31]
John Holmberg
That's the risk you take. Yeah.
- [165:33]
Randy Sklar
Kansas City, every year. Of course they'll be in the mix because they're just. But.
- [165:37]
John Holmberg
But you'd rather see a Detroit, Buffalo, Super Bowl?
- [165:40]
Randy Sklar
I would love to. To me, then I'd be like, some. One of those fan bases is going to be really happy. That, to me, would be most of.
- [165:46]
John Holmberg
The most Teemu super bowl that's possible ever. That I. I ordered that. And I'm like, oh, this is it.
- [165:52]
Randy Sklar
Well, that was the Indiana Pacers, Oklahoma City Thunder, Super Bowls, maybe.
- [165:57]
John Holmberg
They're great teams.
- [165:58]
Jason Sklar
I think it would draw a lot of attention.
- [166:02]
Randy Sklar
Well, that story. Josh Allen is a. Josh Allen is a star. Buffalo is a city with all of its bad luck. Like, there is a story that rises above the sport. I mean, when you're in the sport. Like, do we want to see the Eagles again? Do we want to see. No.
- [166:15]
John Holmberg
Both teams uniforms look like they bought them at Ross.
- [166:17]
Randy Sklar
That's true.
- [166:18]
John Holmberg
Like, they don't have. They both look.
- [166:19]
Randy Sklar
Jared Goff. One of his sleeves is longer than the other.
- [166:22]
John Holmberg
It's got irregular on the tag.
- [166:24]
Randy Sklar
I don't.
- [166:24]
John Holmberg
You know, it just. It's that.
- [166:26]
Randy Sklar
I. I do. I agree with Jay. Like another Eagles, Chiefs, Super Bowl. It. Nobody wants that. Unless you're from those cities. Just nobody wants that. I'd love to see new people in there. I mean, look, I'd be excited if Joe Burrow took his team again and you were like, all right, fine.
- [166:40]
John Holmberg
Another one. You're picking all of.
- [166:42]
Randy Sklar
All the ones.
- [166:42]
Dale Hellestrae
Now you're talking.
- [166:43]
Randy Sklar
What if Aaron Rodgers suddenly was Aaron.
- [166:46]
John Holmberg
Pretty awesome, right?
- [166:46]
Randy Sklar
That's pretty.
- [166:47]
John Holmberg
Now we're talking. Now you Guys know what you're talking about there.
- [166:50]
Randy Sklar
We.
- [166:50]
Jason Sklar
Do you want to get all the way back there and lose?
- [166:53]
John Holmberg
Well, why would they lose?
- [166:54]
Jason Sklar
Because the NFC's are much more powerful.
- [166:56]
John Holmberg
If they get to the Super Bowl. I'm happy.
- [166:58]
Jason Sklar
You just told me you were. When we beat you, you said, no, that was miserable.
- [167:02]
John Holmberg
But I'm saying, if you're telling me right now, John, you're going to.
- [167:04]
Randy Sklar
Based on the recent history you get.
- [167:06]
John Holmberg
To the Super Bowl, I'm like, oh.
- [167:07]
Randy Sklar
My God, give me the shot.
- [167:09]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I would pay for.
- [167:11]
Randy Sklar
I mean, is it. Is it.
- [167:12]
John Holmberg
Give me shot in the back?
- [167:12]
Randy Sklar
Is it on the back? Is it the Ravens year this year? I am sorry to do this to you, but I'm asking you, Dale, is it the Ravens year again?
- [167:21]
Jason Sklar
I think it's one those things where they're going to be there again.
- [167:23]
Randy Sklar
Of course.
- [167:24]
Jason Sklar
And then what's going to happen in the playoff?
- [167:25]
Randy Sklar
Who is Lamar Jackson going to be when you need him to be the quarterback, not just the guy who runs around.
- [167:30]
Jason Sklar
Exactly.
- [167:30]
Randy Sklar
So can he step up and make three throws that you need?
- [167:33]
Jason Sklar
Yes. And. And that breaks it right down to.
- [167:36]
Dale Hellestrae
Big trust will get done.
- [167:37]
John Holmberg
Big trust cannot do it. Yeah. I. I get more joy. I have shirts of him crying because after he lost the playoff game, he started to cry. And I took a screenshot of that and gave it to our shirt. I've got T shirts, yellow and black with crying Lamar. It was my screensaver for about seven months.
- [167:54]
Randy Sklar
No one understands you hate the teams. I think it's the Browns here this year.
- [167:58]
John Holmberg
Oh, man. Hilarious.
- [168:01]
Randy Sklar
And if they didn't stop watching football, Deshaun Watson is going to be the quarterback and it's going to be a happy ending.
- [168:06]
John Holmberg
I'm going to make this promise to you right here.
- [168:08]
Randy Sklar
Brown spares.
- [168:09]
John Holmberg
9:42Am on 14 Aug 2025, I will build the bomb shelter in my backyard. If the Browns even make it to the AFC championship. They will not, because it's the end of the world.
- [168:18]
Randy Sklar
They will not. Let's be honest.
- [168:20]
John Holmberg
No question that Putin is going to launch nukes. Morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness.
- [168:33]
Randy Sklar
I would like to see the Bears. I think Denver's going to make some noise again. I do think they're, you know, don't.
- [168:39]
Jason Sklar
About the Cowboys.
- [168:40]
Randy Sklar
I don't. I just think that the Cowboys always have talent. But I think Jerry Jones micromanaging that team and I'm sorry. No, I. Jerry Jones micromanaging that team is. Is a problem.
- [168:52]
Jason Sklar
Are you guys gonna watch the Netflix thing?
- [168:54]
Randy Sklar
Oh, the.
- [168:55]
John Holmberg
I got stage four cancer, and I cured it with money. It was amazing. And also, it's a circus down here, and I think that's fun. I think it's fun. It's controversy we love. I'm an oil man. Yeah.
- [169:07]
Jason Sklar
Are you gonna watch it?
- [169:08]
John Holmberg
No.
- [169:08]
Randy Sklar
Friends with Gary Hogaboo. I was talking to Gary Hogaboo. We were out on Lake Grapevine. Me and Genie, me and Genie, Genie.
- [169:18]
John Holmberg
And him get all their advice from.
- [169:19]
Randy Sklar
Hoga Boom on a pontoon boat.
- [169:22]
John Holmberg
I hired him as my life coach. He's my Hugab Boom life coach. He's a good man. You got to do the face.
- [169:28]
Jason Sklar
You got to do it.
- [169:30]
Randy Sklar
Listen to his podcast, Hoga Boom Goes to Dynamite.
- [169:34]
John Holmberg
If you pull the face, it automatically just comes a better Jerry.
- [169:38]
Randy Sklar
Trying my best. I'm just trying my best.
- [169:40]
Dale Hellestrae
The miracle drug. The PD one. He loves the PD one.
- [169:43]
Randy Sklar
Oh, he was, by the way, great on land, man. I drink Pe?
- [169:46]
John Holmberg
L. That was amazing.
- [169:47]
Randy Sklar
Great on land. They're like, we got to make this guy cry. Just tell him he has to actually pay the cheerleaders. He just started of crying. Guy. Guy spends $16 million. Guy spends $16 million on hall of Fame, literally on his hall of Fame party. The party for him afterwards. $16 million. And literally the cheerleaders are like, I can't. I.
- [170:09]
Jason Sklar
$75 a game.
- [170:11]
John Holmberg
Used to be. It's probably 120.
- [170:13]
Jason Sklar
Yeah. Come on. It's got to go.
- [170:14]
Randy Sklar
They were a franchise. People would come just for them.
- [170:17]
Dale Hellestrae
They're on Love Boats, TV show.
- [170:20]
John Holmberg
They're their own own business. They're the only cheerleaders. And that's why they're making this big deal about these two boy cheerleaders in Minnesota.
- [170:26]
Randy Sklar
Yes.
- [170:27]
John Holmberg
And it's like, nobody goes to nobody. There's been no picketing and no marching to make sure that we have more boy cheerleaders. Fans of the NFL has not screamed.
- [170:34]
Randy Sklar
No.
- [170:34]
John Holmberg
You know what's missing here?
- [170:36]
Randy Sklar
But all the fat guy, like, the fat guy cheerleaders. That. That. That whole life is. I love it.
- [170:41]
John Holmberg
Yeah. We want that to be a thing.
- [170:43]
Randy Sklar
That's a great one.
- [170:44]
John Holmberg
The last thing I want to be reminded of while I'm drinking beer is that that he can dance better than I'll ever even dream of. And. Yeah. And I don't want to be.
- [170:53]
Randy Sklar
He's gonna take your wife. Yeah.
- [170:55]
John Holmberg
That guy is definitely interesting.
- [170:56]
Randy Sklar
You mentioned the Minnesota Vikings. I actually think the Minnesota Vikings are going to be fantastic. He is the truth. He is the truth.
- [171:04]
John Holmberg
You got him going.
- [171:05]
Randy Sklar
He is the Truth. Oh, my God, A hundred percent.
- [171:09]
John Holmberg
Yes.
- [171:09]
Randy Sklar
So we're hanging out with JJ. We're doing Adam Ray's Dr. Phil Live in Minneapolis. We're hanging out with JJ, TJ Hawkinson and Harrison Phillips. Right. We're hanging out with these guys who's part of Wilson Phillips. Know that, yeah, things are going to go your way. So he and all Hawkinson and Phillips took us aside as we're talking to, and they're like this. I mean, obviously we love this guy. We love this guy. He's a Michigan guy. One national championship for us. And they're like, he's the truth.
- [171:37]
John Holmberg
He's the real dude.
- [171:38]
Randy Sklar
He is the guy.
- [171:39]
Jason Sklar
Really?
- [171:39]
John Holmberg
Okay.
- [171:39]
Randy Sklar
And all the players last year. And so, I mean, this is how great JJ is. I. I like, dude, we were at the Rose bowl game. We saw that. Probably the best Michigan game we've ever seen in our lives. Michigan beating Alabama and overtime. Big, big moment. Rose Bolts. Where the team for the Big Ten.
- [171:54]
Jason Sklar
Here we go.
- [171:54]
Randy Sklar
Brady. I know it's been a while. He's national champion, James. Show some respect. So he's a pantsless national champion. Oh, they can't. You couldn't put the gold pants on. Michigan beat him and. And J.J. mcCarthy. McCarthy's like, I was like. I was there with my son. He's like, FaceTime him right now. I FaceTime my son. He's like in his bed. He's. I don't know what. God knows what he's doing. He's getting a shot on the back. Shot on the front. And. And I'm like, hey, man, someone say hi to you? And I turn to JJ and he's like, hey, man, I heard you cheering in the stands. Thank you. I all your support meant the world to me. I'm like, holy crap. He's like, yeah, hyping up my son. I'm like, this guy is legit. He doesn't have to think about it. He's magnetic. People love him. He's got the talent. And Hawkinson is like, he's got the arm. Hawkinson's like, he's got the arm.
- [172:37]
John Holmberg
To me, the Vikings, way beyond.
- [172:39]
Randy Sklar
I think they're going to be better than people think.
- [172:41]
John Holmberg
I think they're going to be good.
- [172:41]
Randy Sklar
They did it with Sam Darnold last year. And I think JJ's better than Sam's division.
- [172:45]
John Holmberg
They're going to get pounced on. Well, maybe.
- [172:47]
Jason Sklar
By who?
- [172:48]
John Holmberg
Detroit?
- [172:48]
Jason Sklar
I think Detroit's going to take a step back.
- [172:50]
Randy Sklar
I think they do, too, without.
- [172:52]
Jason Sklar
Take a step back. Green Bay. Who Knows what the hell is going to be.
- [172:55]
Randy Sklar
We don't know what Green Bay is going to be. And obviously what is the Bears. It's not going to be the Bears.
- [172:59]
John Holmberg
Isn't it great?
- [173:00]
Randy Sklar
But the fact that it's back in the air. Can you feel it?
- [173:03]
Jason Sklar
Hold on, hold on. Did you guys not see that they released the Emirates Cup NBA schedule?
- [173:08]
John Holmberg
Yeah. That's awesome. That's great. Yeah.
- [173:10]
Randy Sklar
And the Celtics are not playing on Christmas, nor are they playing. And they're, like, not even playing. I mean, I think because Jason Tatum's out.
- [173:18]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [173:18]
Randy Sklar
Oh, that could be.
- [173:19]
John Holmberg
Yeah, they took his knees out. Come on. Nobody wants to watch that team. I'm gonna. I got season tickets and I don't.
- [173:26]
Randy Sklar
Want to go to the Suns rah, rah rooms.
- [173:28]
Jason Sklar
You re up.
- [173:28]
John Holmberg
We'll re up in that. That'll be fun.
- [173:29]
Randy Sklar
I think you're actually playing, actually. Yeah.
- [173:32]
John Holmberg
No, I'm on the bench.
- [173:33]
Randy Sklar
Tickets give you access to four games.
- [173:35]
John Holmberg
They said you're the 12th, man. I'm like, what's that mean? And I'm like, we have 12 players. You're our guy. I'm like, oh, my God.
- [173:41]
Dale Hellestrae
At the literally two weeks open tryouts.
- [173:44]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [173:45]
Randy Sklar
My favorite is you go to an NBA game and there's like a guy in the stands wearing jeans and a jersey with no shirt on underneath it. Like, if. What are you expecting? Like, if everyone got injured on the. On the court, coach would be like, hey, get that guy out there who just works out his upper body. Bring him down.
- [173:59]
Jason Sklar
The only thing worse than that is you go like the Cardinals game and say the Cardinals are playing the Seahawks and somebody wears a Bears jersey.
- [174:05]
John Holmberg
Yeah, they were a Jersey of neither team.
- [174:07]
Randy Sklar
Who are you and why do you. He's like, well, my friend invited me.
- [174:10]
Dale Hellestrae
I'm a Bears fan.
- [174:11]
Randy Sklar
I'm going to check it out. Letting us know that. Thanks for letting us know.
- [174:15]
John Holmberg
I was gonna let people know I was in the Sweets at a Diamondbacks game because that's how I roll.
- [174:18]
Randy Sklar
Sure.
- [174:19]
John Holmberg
And somebody had a glove. And I'm like, well, this was just a waste of everyone in the Sweets. Like, this isn't happening. Like, this is. You're gonna. So much more than a ball will be given to you.
- [174:28]
Randy Sklar
You ruined it and you signed it.
- [174:30]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I did.
- [174:30]
Randy Sklar
I picked that ball.
- [174:31]
Dale Hellestrae
I said, look, Michael Jackson, get out of here.
- [174:34]
John Holmberg
I had a busload of children at a spring training game. Think I was. What was his name? Rick. Yeah, Rick James. I was there for. I was doing an intervention.
- [174:41]
Randy Sklar
Talk to my son about drugs.
- [174:42]
John Holmberg
These little drug addict kids up and like, I'll do it.
- [174:45]
Randy Sklar
All right.
- [174:45]
John Holmberg
No, they thought it was a pitcher for the Diamondback.
- [174:47]
Randy Sklar
So I. Oh, Really?
- [174:48]
John Holmberg
I signed 12 baseballs. They were all gathered around. I'm like, okay, this is easy.
- [174:52]
Randy Sklar
So this is kind of an oldie, old bit. It's been spoken of before. But I was at a baseball Cardinals game in St. Louis with my daughter a couple weeks ago. And we know the guy who does the in. In Stadium announcement. PA announcement. John Ulich. He does radio in St. Louis. Classic Morning Zoo, Catia 95. Great radio station station in St. Louis. So we go up and we start talking to him. But I. In just talking to him, I forget that he also has to be doing the game.
- [175:18]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [175:18]
Randy Sklar
So I'm like, hey, man, what's going on with you? He's like, ah, I got this prostate thing. Hang on a second. Up for the Diamondbacks. Julio Garcia. And he's like. And it's causing this kind of. And he's showing the pain on his side. Hang on a second, Michael. I mean, he literally, to the microphone, does not listen. The best part is that the guy. So the organ is in that same area, okay. In the same room as the guy was in. We're talking and the guy says to my daughter, do you play piano? And my daughter's like, yeah, I've taken four years of lessons. And he's 11. Eleven. And he's like, come over. And he starts teaching her like a move on the organ. And she's like, is this going out there? And he's like, no, no, no. And then when she gets it right, he takes off her headphones and she plays a da da da da da da da charge to a whole stadium.
- [175:59]
John Holmberg
Oh.
- [176:00]
Randy Sklar
I was like, you're 11. You performed in front of 21,000 people. We're only going to have 10,000 people at the Desert Ridge Improv.
- [176:06]
John Holmberg
That's right.
- [176:07]
Randy Sklar
He said you performed in front of 21,000 people. I then said, the Cardinals got 21,000.
- [176:13]
John Holmberg
20,000 sold tickets. Amazing.
- [176:16]
Randy Sklar
Who's in attendance here? Sold tickets. Not putting a great product rolls a lot of dead people.
- [176:22]
John Holmberg
Take a break. The Scar brothers are at Desert Ridge improv.com Dale's doing absolutely nothing with your time.
- [176:29]
Jason Sklar
I might crash. Crash.
- [176:30]
John Holmberg
You go to the show? It's a great show.
- [176:32]
Randy Sklar
Love it.
- [176:33]
Jason Sklar
Square a lot.
- [176:34]
Randy Sklar
No, not really. I mean, you see what we do?
- [176:37]
Jason Sklar
You. You act different here than you do there, don't you?
- [176:40]
Randy Sklar
I mean.
- [176:40]
Jason Sklar
I mean, you get cleaned up, grown man. You take a shower.
- [176:44]
Randy Sklar
Dale really wants me to get dolled up. You know why get dolled up?
- [176:48]
John Holmberg
This is the thing. He's, he's, he's attacking their manliness and their, you know, their, your, your.
- [176:53]
Randy Sklar
You're going to love the show.
- [176:54]
John Holmberg
The reason I'll tell you exactly what you're doing. You're telling him, are you guys going to be you? The reason he's asking if you cuss is cuz his wife won't let him go if you do.
- [177:00]
Randy Sklar
Oh come on.
- [177:01]
John Holmberg
That's.
- [177:02]
Jason Sklar
I want to bring my wife but she hates those.
- [177:05]
Randy Sklar
I'm going to say don't bring your wife because there's going to be a thousand six year old eligible women there. And I say six or six, you go home with 700 of them.
- [177:15]
John Holmberg
Let me speak for the Sklar brothers. Don't bring that.
- [177:20]
Randy Sklar
Wow. Don't, don't rub up.
- [177:22]
John Holmberg
I just had to throw it out there.
- [177:23]
Jason Sklar
Is your wife free?
- [177:25]
John Holmberg
Yeah. She'll go with you. She'd love to.
- [177:26]
Randy Sklar
She loves us. She's seen us.
- [177:28]
John Holmberg
She loves the SK brothers and also loves a night guaranteed no sex. So it's perfect that you take her. We'll take a break. Squar brothers and Dale Hellister are here this morning. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect at the age of. Still streaming. Homberg's morning sickness online@98kupd.com I screwed that up. I'm gonna turn that off. Sorry everybody. I just. I've. I've got buttons all in front of me. I don't know what's going on. Let's. Let's close this thing out before we get to that though. Let's get to. Did I screw it up again, Rich? How does that happen? I hit the button on the thing wrong and that screws.
- [178:10]
Randy Sklar
I love, I love the of Spanish Flea.
- [178:12]
John Holmberg
It's pretty great. It's the entertainment drill. It's the beautiful thing. And the Scar brothers are joining us for the entertainment.
- [178:17]
Randy Sklar
Is it wrong that I played this when Chuck Mangioni died over and over? Wrong that I'm going to play this when Bill Cosby dies?
- [178:23]
John Holmberg
Cuz it's Herb.
- [178:24]
Randy Sklar
Alf Little is perfect for his funeral.
- [178:29]
John Holmberg
As they march the casket. The Paul bear.
- [178:32]
Randy Sklar
I'm just going to go to Bill Cosby's funeral and knock drinks out of people's head. Don't take that.
- [178:36]
John Holmberg
Don't do it. It.
- [178:37]
Randy Sklar
Don't do it.
- [178:37]
John Holmberg
He's not really sleeping. He's just making it. He's luring us in.
- [178:42]
Randy Sklar
How bad do you have to be as a human being. To ruin, like, the colorful sweater as a genre. I can't even wear like, a colorful sweater. That's how bad Cosby was. He literally put the. The clothier structure out of business. Yeah. He put him to sleep.
- [178:56]
John Holmberg
He knocked them out.
- [178:57]
Dale Hellestrae
Coogi's done.
- [178:58]
John Holmberg
They woke up with pruny toes. Which is the weirdest part of that. No one talks about.
- [179:02]
Randy Sklar
Stop.
- [179:03]
John Holmberg
It.
- [179:03]
Randy Sklar
Is the weirdest part. Dear God.
- [179:05]
John Holmberg
He sucked on their stuff. Sleeping feet. Horrible, man. You want to sleep on awake feet?
- [179:09]
Randy Sklar
He wasn't. He wasn't an honorary captain like we were.
- [179:12]
John Holmberg
That's right. You were an honor. I know. We'll get to that. No. You were honorary captains at a Michigan. Minnesota game.
- [179:16]
Randy Sklar
Oh, Michigan game. Minnesota game. And we got to give a speech to the team on the Friday night before. They're like, be inspirational. We're like, what? Funny. So we're like. We came in and we're like, we're going to talk about haters. People are going to hate you. Hate on you. We've dealt with it our entire lives. People saying, you guys can't do it. You guys are too short. You guys are too ugly. You're too Jewy. And we're like. And that's just from people in our own family. We got them. We got them with that.
- [179:44]
John Holmberg
That's huge. Did they win?
- [179:46]
Randy Sklar
They did win. And we won the coin toss. And we won the coin toss. So you're welcome. You're welcome.
- [179:50]
John Holmberg
You have the video of you walking on the field?
- [179:52]
Randy Sklar
I have it.
- [179:53]
John Holmberg
Play that up on the mic real quick.
- [179:54]
Dale Hellestrae
Do you get to keep the coin?
- [179:56]
Randy Sklar
No. They said they took.
- [179:58]
John Holmberg
This is your announcement.
- [179:59]
Randy Sklar
Come on.
- [180:00]
John Holmberg
Going on to.
- [180:01]
Dale Hellestrae
It's buffering.
- [180:01]
John Holmberg
Is it a Samsung buffer? Sam Sungers are all the same.
- [180:05]
Randy Sklar
Oh, this is gonna take a minute. All right.
- [180:08]
John Holmberg
I'm not in your wi fi.
- [180:12]
Randy Sklar
Get him in the WI fi. I know. Exactly. Jay's on a Android. When they introduce us. Hopefully. Okay, Give it a second. We'll buffering that badly.
- [180:22]
John Holmberg
How old is your phone?
- [180:23]
Randy Sklar
My phone's new.
- [180:24]
Dale Hellestrae
Ish.
- [180:25]
John Holmberg
But it's not good. This is University of Michigan alumni, the.
- [180:31]
Randy Sklar
Comedy duo of Randy and Jason. Okay.
- [180:35]
John Holmberg
And then there was just dead.
- [180:38]
Randy Sklar
Is that enough applause? I have to say, I'm Jason Squ. All right.
- [180:45]
John Holmberg
I think.
- [180:47]
Randy Sklar
I think that's a Dale.
- [180:48]
Jason Sklar
I'm. I. I'm going with cheers.
- [180:50]
Randy Sklar
Thank you. Did I say 700? Dude. 750 women.
- [180:56]
John Holmberg
My God, these women are falling for daily.
- [180:57]
Jason Sklar
Hey, that stadium for as big as it is, cuz. I broadcast a couple games. I do national radio.
- [181:02]
Randy Sklar
Okay.
- [181:02]
Jason Sklar
It's a little more quiet than you'd think it would.
- [181:05]
Randy Sklar
It is, but they got. They got up. They got up.
- [181:09]
Jason Sklar
You thought it would be an older alumni crowd there. The tailgates are a little more distinguished than you when you go to some of these other places.
- [181:18]
Randy Sklar
Exactly. No one's jumping off and falling into tables. Right? Sure.
- [181:21]
John Holmberg
In fairness, he was in the press box and the last time he was that high, he was guarding his beanstalk. So we have to really realize. Sorry. That's a lot. That's a long way to go. Let's do the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by reactdefense.com the home of Tactical Black Self Defense Training. Stop being a sheepdog. Start being a sheep and do it with personal training. That is not going to break you. I was there yesterday, did a bunch of gun def. You guys should come with me.
- [181:43]
Randy Sklar
Let's go. Let's do it.
- [181:45]
John Holmberg
Just gun defense, knife defense. We did all sorts of stuff yesterday with drills and I am. I'm in achy pain today. But it's all good because it showed I worked. And that's what you can do to get in great shape and start being smarter. It's React Defense Dot com. The home of Tactical Black. Brady and Company Entertainment.
- [182:00]
Dale Hellestrae
Got a list of celebrities that collect stuff. Do you guys collect anything?
- [182:05]
John Holmberg
No, I mean the bones of their fans.
- [182:07]
Randy Sklar
Yeah, maybe.
- [182:09]
Dale Hellestrae
You collect anything?
- [182:10]
Jason Sklar
I don't.
- [182:11]
Randy Sklar
No.
- [182:12]
Dale Hellestrae
Nicholas Cage, he collects shrunken pygmy heads.
- [182:15]
Randy Sklar
Of course.
- [182:16]
Dale Hellestrae
And he Haunted properties. He's big.
- [182:19]
Randy Sklar
Where do you go to haunted properties?
- [182:21]
Dale Hellestrae
He like, owns that.
- [182:22]
Randy Sklar
To me. If you told me that was the name of his band, I'd be like, yeah, or his next movie.
- [182:27]
Jason Sklar
Hold on. Are we just gonna bypass the shrunken pygmy heads?
- [182:30]
John Holmberg
Sure.
- [182:30]
Randy Sklar
I mean, they're already pygmy heads. They need to shrink more. Yeah, it's already a small head. Why you shrink them even further?
- [182:36]
Dale Hellestrae
Where do you get them? Amazon.
- [182:38]
John Holmberg
Welcome to Mo Money Pond. Can I help you? Yeah, baby girl, I'm looking for your pygmy head.
- [182:43]
Randy Sklar
Yeah, yeah. Good, good. That's his version of Labubus.
- [182:48]
John Holmberg
And now I know how to sell a house to him. It's like, I don't really care for the floor plan. It's haunted.
- [182:52]
Randy Sklar
It's haunted.
- [182:53]
John Holmberg
I'll take it.
- [182:55]
Randy Sklar
There's a wine cellar. You can store all the pygmy heads you want.
- [182:57]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Yeah.
- [182:58]
Randy Sklar
Let's do it.
- [183:00]
Jason Sklar
Sold, Baby girl.
- [183:03]
Dale Hellestrae
Johnny Depp. What do you think he collects?
- [183:05]
Randy Sklar
It's enormous. He's the beyond in bed Bath.
- [183:11]
Dale Hellestrae
I don't know. No, like, if you told me he.
- [183:15]
Randy Sklar
Collect whips, I'd be like, yeah, right. Whips and harmonicas.
- [183:18]
Dale Hellestrae
He has an enormous Barbie collection.
- [183:20]
Randy Sklar
Oh, my God.
- [183:22]
John Holmberg
That's creepy, because those are not being.
- [183:24]
Randy Sklar
Used, and those are just his girlfriends. He's a creeper.
- [183:28]
Jason Sklar
It's one thing to collect him is another thing to tell people that you collect them.
- [183:32]
John Holmberg
Somehow or another, they smell like BO2.
- [183:34]
Dale Hellestrae
Rod Stewart.
- [183:35]
Randy Sklar
Oh, yeah.
- [183:36]
Dale Hellestrae
Well, he has a massive model train city.
- [183:39]
Randy Sklar
Of course he does.
- [183:40]
John Holmberg
Collects pumps. 30 years and he has shelves. Oh, that was 97. That was a good pump. I'm keeping that. That was mine. That's the Maggie May of my pumps.
- [183:50]
Randy Sklar
That's my Maggie. That's from the fake Aces pump. Right. So I love when Rod Stewart. I love when Roger is like, I'm opening up the American songbook. We're like, no one asked you to put it down.
- [184:01]
John Holmberg
Put it down.
- [184:01]
Randy Sklar
I'm Maggie May, and that's all I want.
- [184:04]
John Holmberg
Where did you find that? And put it back.
- [184:05]
Randy Sklar
Do the thing from the office. Aunt's hairstyle. Oh, my God.
- [184:09]
John Holmberg
We all know.
- [184:10]
Randy Sklar
Come on. You did pumps. Wait, did you. Did you see on online, someone made this? Like, it was fantastic. It was like, when did Rodster become Lady Elaine for Ms. Mr. Rogers? He's literally more morphing into that. Yes, yes.
- [184:22]
John Holmberg
On stage.
- [184:23]
Randy Sklar
Yeah.
- [184:23]
John Holmberg
Boomerang, zoomerang, tumorang. Hello, toots.
- [184:27]
Dale Hellestrae
Tom Hanks. Tom hanks.
- [184:32]
Randy Sklar
World War II dog tags. If you told me he collects. Yeah, like, Detonated minds, Nazi memorabilia.
- [184:38]
Dale Hellestrae
He owns a bunch of different leg braces. No, he owns 300 vintage typewriters.
- [184:43]
Randy Sklar
Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah.
- [184:45]
Dale Hellestrae
And he types letters to people.
- [184:46]
John Holmberg
Does Aikman collect anything? You're Troy. Does he have, like, a room?
- [184:50]
Randy Sklar
Not that he can remember.
- [184:51]
John Holmberg
You've been to his house.
- [184:52]
Jason Sklar
Not recent.
- [184:53]
John Holmberg
He didn't take you into the room?
- [184:54]
Jason Sklar
No, he just has pictures of all our championships and.
- [184:57]
John Holmberg
Yeah, so he collects super polls. Yeah, that's the answer.
- [185:00]
Jason Sklar
That's what I collect, I guess.
- [185:02]
Dale Hellestrae
Angelina Jolie.
- [185:03]
Randy Sklar
Oh, my God. Billy.
- [185:05]
John Holmberg
Billy Bob. Tony.
- [185:06]
Randy Sklar
Billy Bob Thornton's blood.
- [185:07]
Dale Hellestrae
Collects custom knives.
- [185:09]
Randy Sklar
Of course she. Custom knives. Custom knives. Are we talking about Cutco knives, or.
- [185:13]
John Holmberg
What are we doing here?
- [185:14]
Randy Sklar
If they're customers, they're custom. Like, I don't want to go over to Angelina Jolie's house again and watch her, like, cut through, like, a tin can.
- [185:23]
John Holmberg
Right?
- [185:23]
Randy Sklar
Like, great, buy these and then sl. Hey, you know, I'm gonna do. I'm gonna collect a bunch of knives and then adopt a bunch of young kids.
- [185:30]
John Holmberg
She does collect international children. What would suck is you think you just gotta. You invite. You got invited to Angelina Jolie's house. You're like, this is pretty good. And it turns out she's just selling nice people. It's like.
- [185:41]
Randy Sklar
Like I don't want to be like her neighbor and hear her shouting to some. Someone who's leaving the house. So I can just send you the butcher block. Send you the butcher block too. We'll put them in there.
- [185:51]
Dale Hellestrae
The sklars have a story.
- [185:53]
John Holmberg
Read your story.
- [185:54]
Randy Sklar
Taylor Swift's appearance on the Kelsey Brothers podcast yesterday broke the damn Internet biggest news. She was pretty funny, right?
- [186:00]
John Holmberg
Yeah. She had a couple of great ones.
- [186:01]
Randy Sklar
She had some good ones. She's like, yeah, that's what sports fans want to see more me on their screen. Which I thought was funny. She shared the COVID track list and release date of the life of a showgirl, which is the Elizabeth Berkley story that she's right. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so scared.
- [186:18]
John Holmberg
Is she gonna do. Is she gonna do her tour as Nomi malone?
- [186:21]
Randy Sklar
Please. Yesterday, 1.3 million fans tuned into the Kelsey Brothers podcast New Heights Taylor.
- [186:27]
John Holmberg
So you know I've masturbated to showgirls too much that I remember her name from the movie.
- [186:30]
Randy Sklar
How dare you bring up a character's name that she played. How dare you? It's not Jessie Spano. I mean, I just. I'll never walk into a pool ever again. About an hour and 45 minutes of the screen, the screen went black. The New Heights social media account had to inform fans that they experienced a glitch. That's how many people were tuning into this. You know, things are. Break the Internet, right? She just broke it.
- [186:51]
Jason Sklar
I think she had five over 5 million likes on a post about that. She has.
- [186:56]
John Holmberg
She has some fantastic people.
- [186:59]
Randy Sklar
People love her. I went and saw her. I saw it at Sofi Stadium with my two daughters who had grown up with her like this.
- [187:05]
John Holmberg
So if you went by yourself. Weird. Yeah.
- [187:07]
Randy Sklar
And I just looked at people and asked them. First time I looked at people and asked them if they would take pictures of just me. Is that weird? No. I was there and watching your daughters. Something that was their whole lives, really telling their whole childhood up to this point was truly awesome. I'm like, I know five of these songs. That's it. But I'm watching someone else enjoy crying. It was beautiful.
- [187:33]
John Holmberg
It's how we feel about Rod Stewart, right? Exactly the same. Dale Lady Lane.
- [187:38]
Randy Sklar
That's my stomach pump from the song I did for the Office.
- [187:43]
John Holmberg
Dale's got a music story that was from My my. We did the Three Way Song with Brian Adams and Sting. That's my pump from that video.
- [187:50]
Jason Sklar
I come in here on Thursdays and usually it's me and the fellas. I have two guys hogging all my time.
- [187:57]
Randy Sklar
This is good radio. This is good radio. Great.
- [188:00]
John Holmberg
Final horrible story.
- [188:03]
Jason Sklar
Usually something I have no interest in, which is this one.
- [188:05]
John Holmberg
Almost everything.
- [188:07]
Jason Sklar
The front man for Motley Crue.
- [188:10]
John Holmberg
Do you know who that is?
- [188:10]
Randy Sklar
I saw the video. We posted the video on our. On our thread.
- [188:14]
John Holmberg
Do you know who Motley Crue is?
- [188:16]
Jason Sklar
I've heard the name, yeah. I don't know anything. Can you name one?
- [188:19]
Randy Sklar
Can you name one Motley Crue song?
- [188:20]
Jason Sklar
No.
- [188:20]
Randy Sklar
You're of age. You should definitely.
- [188:22]
John Holmberg
You should be all over this. Why does it happen?
- [188:25]
Randy Sklar
Sweet home, sweet home.
- [188:27]
John Holmberg
Shout at the devil.
- [188:28]
Jason Sklar
Come on.
- [188:29]
John Holmberg
That's what you love doing.
- [188:30]
Randy Sklar
That's right. He does it anyway.
- [188:34]
Dale Hellestrae
But super freak.
- [188:36]
John Holmberg
No, no.
- [188:36]
Jason Sklar
Different freak.
- [188:37]
John Holmberg
No, that's not a. Don't confuse him any further.
- [188:40]
Randy Sklar
Don't cross the streams as Rich. Sure. James. He's from Buffalo.
- [188:45]
Jason Sklar
Vince Neil is back on stage. The fans were not impressed. No, he's 64. He looks a hell of a lot worse than I do.
- [188:52]
Randy Sklar
He does. He's taking more. Somehow taking more hits to the head than you.
- [188:57]
Jason Sklar
He underwent a medical procedure earlier. Shoot. You guys know what the medical procedure was?
- [189:01]
Randy Sklar
Tummy tuck.
- [189:02]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Probably taken out, maybe.
- [189:06]
Randy Sklar
All I know is like a brief period of time where he. He was on like Skating with the Stars, didn't he?
- [189:11]
John Holmberg
Like, he got into some weird stuff like renew who he is and he like got.
- [189:15]
Randy Sklar
Speaking of Nick Cage, like, he lives in Vegas and he got into a fight outside of a building that Nick Cage broke. Had to break up. Broke up a fight. You'll find it.
- [189:26]
John Holmberg
Really.
- [189:26]
Jason Sklar
He appeared low energy, struggled getting through the August 3rd show.
- [189:30]
Randy Sklar
Oh, yeah. I mean, we posted a video on.
- [189:33]
Dale Hellestrae
For like a couple years. It's.
- [189:34]
John Holmberg
Yeah, he's been struggling.
- [189:35]
Randy Sklar
Oh, I mean, there's the great. I mean, there's the David Lee Roth video that's going around of him and you're like, he's switching from. Like he's Jiminy Glicking from high to low. He's doing a little bit of this. He's talking. He's not talking. He looks like you're talking.
- [189:50]
Dale Hellestrae
I thought it was Rod Stewart.
- [189:51]
Randy Sklar
Really? Rod Stewart's like, you do look like my aunt to David Lee Roth. And look, we honor David Lee Roth. We love what he did all the time. He was a burn bright. He brought probably right now, what do you need money for?
- [190:03]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [190:03]
Randy Sklar
How bad were you with your money? Isn't he a paramedic?
- [190:06]
John Holmberg
He's doing some EMT stuff, which would be the worst way to find out you're gonna live. Talking about drugs. Got on top you, brother. We're all good here. You're bleeding out, man.
- [190:22]
Randy Sklar
You're bleeding out.
- [190:27]
Jason Sklar
Brady. Do you know what they're talking about?
- [190:30]
Randy Sklar
Roth did a solo album in the mid-80s. Like post. It was kind of. He covered California Girls by the Beach Boys, a group I'm guessing you've heard of.
- [190:39]
Jason Sklar
I do know that and I know David Lee Roth.
- [190:41]
Randy Sklar
Right? So David Lee Roth did that. But then he went like he's did I Ain't got no body.
- [190:46]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [190:46]
Randy Sklar
Which is like an old kind of standard. And he starts scatting in the middle of the song.
- [190:55]
Dale Hellestrae
Only reason it was big, mtv.
- [190:57]
Randy Sklar
I mean, video and the video.
- [190:58]
John Holmberg
But now that he's in the mt, if you've got, you know, if you're looking down in your legs, facing, you're like, don't worry about it. I got this.
- [191:07]
Randy Sklar
If I was in pain and had the ability, though, to make a joke, I. If he pulled up, I would ask, is there any way that Sammy Hagar could come in halfway through that would get him.
- [191:17]
John Holmberg
Bring me Gary, Sharon. Anybody but you.
- [191:19]
Randy Sklar
Hey, that's a little too extreme.
- [191:22]
Dale Hellestrae
Here we go.
- [191:23]
John Holmberg
A pun. Are we ending on a rock and roll? Puns.
- [191:27]
Randy Sklar
That's more than words.
- [191:28]
John Holmberg
All day. Rock and roll. Hoochie coo has been replaced. Dale, always thank you for showing up and doing whatever the hell you did today.
- [191:35]
Randy Sklar
Literally nothing.
- [191:36]
John Holmberg
Sklar brothers, thanks for sticking around. We love having you.
- [191:39]
Randy Sklar
Desert Ridge Improv. I want everybody. You guys, you have the best fans. They come to our shows and we meet them afterwards and they say they heard us on this show and it warms our hearts. Do the same. Come up and say, I heard you on this great show and I love you guys. It's just fun hanging out with you.
- [191:53]
John Holmberg
So we'll say goodbye to Brady. That's probably it.
- [191:55]
Randy Sklar
I love you.
- [191:58]
John Holmberg
Notice there was no hesitation.
- [192:00]
Randy Sklar
That's probably the best hot sauce I've ever had. These have been the best years of my life. That I've got to hang with you. Break bread. Break bread with you and your daughter.
- [192:09]
John Holmberg
To say goodbye to Brady. Anyway, that's it. Let's get out of here. Larry's next. We'll see you guys tomorrow. Bye. Arizona's most powerful rock nature radio station. He said fully erect.
- [192:27]
Dale Hellestrae
It's Brady from the HMS crew for Game Day Men's Health, the valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations. You should do what I did and schedule a complimentary appointment which is quick and easy. You'll meet with a board certified medical director and figure out what treatments that can help you. Whether you need more energy, medical, weight loss or sexual health treatments. Gameday Men's Health Clinic is a true game changer. Go to gameday phoenix.com and schedule your complimentary appointment today. Get back in the game with Game Day Men's Health.
- [192:57]
John Holmberg
It's John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the core. He's not going to be back on the court immediately but in a few months time he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain. You've been living with the Core Institute celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do. Again, go to the Core Institute.com Mr.
- [193:28]
Dale Hellestrae
Gecko, you're a huge inspiration to us all.
- [193:31]
John Holmberg
But who was your muse?
- [193:32]
Randy Sklar
My dear old Nan.
- [193:33]
John Holmberg
She would tell me, always remember to be true to yourself and to use that fast and friendly claim support on the Geico app. I follow her advice to this day.
- [193:40]
Randy Sklar
Get more than just savings.
- [193:41]
John Holmberg
Get more with Geico.