08-14-25 - The Sklar Brothers - Desert Ridge Improv - In Studio

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show

Episode: 08-14-25 - The Sklar Brothers - Desert Ridge Improv – In Studio
Date: August 15, 2025
Guests: Randy & Jason Sklar (The Sklar Brothers)
Host(s): John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Location: 98KUPD, Arizona

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Overview

This episode features comedians The Sklar Brothers (Randy and Jason) live in studio while touring at Desert Ridge Improv. The conversation is a rapid-fire, humorous look at their recent local experiences, growing up with practical-joking dads, the nightmare of secret families, empty nesting, Michigan football, and observations on parenting and modern etiquette – all delivered in irreverent, quick-witted fashion.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sklar Brothers at Desert Ridge Improv

• Standup Shows: Five performances over the weekend at Desert Ridge Improv ([02:15])
• Last Visit’s Brunch Story:
  • The Sklars recount their chaotic visit to “Hash Kitchen” ("I thought it was the Hash house") – overwhelmed by early-morning DJ, bachelorette parties, and wryly noting, “It made us feel very old.” ([02:34])
  • Mistakenly believing to have seen WNBA star Diana Taurasi, only to become obsessed with proving her identity through “forensic” sports nerd details, then realizing their mistake once she ordered a Bloody Mary at 10 a.m.
  • “I’m checking the circumference of her calf...looking at her footwear...thinking about the WNBA pay scale...then she orders a Bloody Mary at 10 in the morning. Like, it’s not Diana.” — Randy Sklar ([04:00])

2. Sports & Absurdity

• The Dildo Toss at Sporting Events:

  • Running commentary on the “dildo toss” at games, “It’s never NOT funny. Even at a funeral, if someone throws a dildo, everyone laughs.” — John Holmberg ([05:23])
  • They joke about incentivizing landing the dildo “suction-cup down” on the floor, including a $10,000 prize. ([06:00])
  • Imagining Marv Albert’s sports call: “Yes! Bite me on my back now.” — Randy Sklar ([06:08])

• Old and Odd Family Memories:

  • John’s childhood story of being tricked into asking random Black men for autographs, believing every Black man was a famous NFL player (a typical 80s story, they note, with discomfort and dark humor) ([06:33])
  • The Sklars’ dad’s own prank: sending them to yell “Daddy!” at strangers in restaurants, causing domestic confusion ([07:17])
  • Both describe these practical jokes as “only funny to Dad.”

3. Secret Second Families & Parenting

• The Absurdity of Secret Families:
  • “Secret second family — the dumbest idea ever. No amount of sex is worth seven back-to-school nights. Even people in the submersible think that’s a dumb idea.” — Randy Sklar ([08:43])
• Boomer Vanishing Dads:
  • Reference to the 70s/80s phenomenon of dads disappearing ("out for cigarettes") and how modern tech would prevent it.
  • “If your dad comes home with a Samsung Galaxy, he’s gone.” ([10:12])
• Text Chain Segregation:
  • Lamenting “green” vs. “blue” text bubbles, and how one Android user ruins every group chat ([10:26])
  • “It’s the hierarchy...the proletariat and the bourgeoisie. The greens and the blues. And the blues win.” — John Holmberg ([10:41])

4. The Realities of Empty-Nesting & Adult Kids

• Randy’s Kids Off to Michigan:
  • Randy shares he’s about to drop both daughters at the University of Michigan. The older is a funny, creative junior; the younger has “never been apart” before.
  • “I got mocked the other day for buying the wrong apples, which I never thought was a thing... When I was your age I was turning that into a pipe.” — Randy Sklar ([14:06])
  • Jokes about the threat of disappearing via “green texts” if kid attitudes continue ([15:01])

5. Comedy for Michigan Football & Rivalries

• Booked to Entertain Michigan Football Team:
  • Sklars discuss being asked to perform for the Michigan football players after drop-off:
  • “Could be the best or worst gig ever... Oh, we’re doing Ryan Day (Ohio State coach) jokes all day.” ([15:24])
• College Sports Scandal Jokes:
  • Roasting Ohio State’s “scandal” documentary and, in equal-opportunity fashion, including jokes about Michigan State, Penn State, etc.
  • “I wasn’t happy it happened, I’m just psyched Michigan keeps beating Ohio State... It’s been so many years, five iPhones have come out.” — Randy Sklar ([16:24])

6. Parenting Pet Peeves — Hotel Edition

• Naked Kids at the Pool:
  • The Sklars describe mushroom chocolate-fueled hotel adventures with hilarious horror at parents letting a 7-year-old roam the pool naked ([18:03]).
  • “If a kid has an iCloud account, it’s not ‘wee-wee’ anymore. It’s junk.” ([18:25])
• Proposed ‘Strike Fee’ Solution:
  • Their solution (in jest): Resorts should institute a fee for being allowed to hit up to two other people’s kids, likened to a minibar charge.
  • “The resort fee includes two smacks. Not in the face – neck, neck and chest.” ([20:20])
  • “Is this a non-smacking resort?” ([21:08])
  • “At the pool, I have zero patience for kids – I act like I never had any.” — Jason Sklar ([17:46])

7. Deep Cut Sports Knowledge

• Obscure Player Recall:
  • Holmberg challenges the brothers to recall backup Cowboys long snapper Dale Hellestra (“the hellscape of Dale”). Sklars immediately identify him and joke about their talent for “90s specialty interior linemen.” ([21:43])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the WNBA star sighting mix-up:

  • “I was checking the circumference of her calf just to be like, is that a professional athlete?” — Randy Sklar ([04:00])

• On practical-joking dads and secret families:

  • “No amount of sex with a new partner is worth seven back-to-school nights.” — Randy Sklar ([08:43])

• On text message statuses as class warfare:

  • “It’s the hierarchy. It is the proletariat and the bourgeoisie. It’s the green and the blue. And the blues win.” — John Holmberg ([10:41])

• On being an empty nester:

  • “I do welcome the empty nestery that is about to happen. If she keeps this attitude up, she’s gonna learn about the green texts.” — Randy Sklar ([14:06], [15:01])

• On the resort’s proposed ‘strike fee’ for unruly children:

  • “The resort fee includes two smacks. Not in the face – neck, neck and chest.” — Randy Sklar ([20:20])
  • “Is this a non-smacking resort?” — Sklar Brothers ([21:08])

• On obscure sports references:

  • “We know our 1990s Cowboys specialty interior linemen.” — Sklar Brothers ([21:56])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:15] – Sklar Brothers’ Improv Show Promo
• [02:34] – “Hash Kitchen” & Diana Taurasi Sighting Story
• [05:23] – Dildo Toss at Sports Games Discussion
• [06:33] – Childhood Stories: “Famous NFL Player” Pranks
• [08:43] – On Secret Second Families & Parenting Absurdities
• [10:26] – Android vs. iPhone Texting Jokes
• [14:06] – Empty Nester Realities / Randy’s Daughters
• [15:24] – Comedy for Michigan Football Team / Rivalry Jokes
• [18:03] – Rant: Naked Kids at Hotel Pools & Social Etiquette
• [20:20] – “Resort Strike Fee” Proposal
• [21:43] – Sports Deep Cuts: Dale Hellestra

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Tone & Atmosphere

The episode is consistently irreverent, quick-witted, and at times darkly funny. The hosts and guests riff naturally on real-life absurdities, cultural shifts, nostalgia, and sports. The chemistry is sharp, with the Sklars fitting seamlessly into the crew’s mischievous, boundary-pushing humor.

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For More

• Sklar Brothers at Desert Ridge Improv: desertridgeimprov.com
• Holmberg’s Morning Sickness: weekdays 5:30a-10a on 98KUPD

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A fast-and-funny episode — for fans of sharp sports commentary, observational humor, and the side of parenting and adulthood that most wouldn’t admit on the radio!

Transcript

[Brett]

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[John Holberg]

Hey, everybody, it's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time once again for the pick of the litter, brought to you by our friends at Turf Monsters a dot com. This week's Pick the Litter is a special little guy surrendered by his family because financial woes made it so they just could not give little manufacturer a great life. A little bit older. It's a Bichon poodle mix. Smart as a whip. Check it all out. Lost our home.org or 98kupd.com it's the pick of the litter.

[Randy Sklar]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from Amco. Let's talk about back to school TLC for your car.

[Larry McFeely]

Larry, the last thing anyone needs right now is to start the school year with car troubles.

[Randy Sklar]

Yeah, makes sense. What should people do?

[Larry McFeely]

Head to your closest amco. We specialize in back to school auto repairs for the busy school season. Plus we have a back to school discount for students and teachers.

[Randy Sklar]

Yeah, but do you need to make an appointment?

[Larry McFeely]

Not at all. Just pop into your nearest Amco or book online.

[Randy Sklar]

Now that's convenient. Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A MCO transmissions and.

[John Holberg]

A whole lot more.

[Larry McFeely]

And remember, AMCO proudly supports Operation Hydrations.

[John Holberg]

Still streaming Homburg's morning sickness [e-mail] look who we found. It's Randy and Jason. The Scar brothers.

[Randy Sklar]

We made it.

[John Holberg]

The Scar brothers are here. Finally. They were here the whole time. But their handler, Alex was too busy looking in the mirror at his new haircut.

[Randy Sklar]

Now we're here and we're happy. And we. I. I'm so happy that we're here because we can tell this story of what happened to us the last time we came post, the last time we came here.

[John Holberg]

Now you're at Desert Ridge Improv again this weekend, correct? Yes.

[Randy Sklar]

Desert Ridge Improv. Five shows. One tonight, two tomorrow, two on Saturday. And the shows will be fantastic.

[John Holberg]

Killer shows always are. So tell us what happened last time you were here.

[Randy Sklar]

So last time, they're like, you guys want to go to brunch, like, or just get some breakfast after this? We're like, sure. So the guy who was taking us around took us to the Hash house. Have you ever been there? Hash House. Have you ever been there?

[Brady]

You mean Hash Kitchen?

[Randy Sklar]

Is that it? That's Kitchen.

[John Holberg]

Hash Kitchen.

[Randy Sklar]

I thought it was the Hash house. Yeah, it's like a hashtag and then the.

[John Holberg]

Yep.

[Randy Sklar]

So we go there, and it's like 10 on a Friday morning or a Thursday morning. There's like, 100 people waiting outside to get in. And we're like, what is this? What it. There's, like, bachelorette parties, DJ Full Blast. Like, full. Like, K Tronado playing full blast. Like, bro, you can't even be liking this right now. I can't. There's no way you're into this. I can't hear myself over the corned beef, you know? Like, it's like. It was just insane. It made us feel very old.

[John Holberg]

But, like, DJ Corned Beef is a good dj.

[Randy Sklar]

Corn beef is gay. So we're mixing it up. He's mixing it up.

[John Holberg]

He's mixing it. He's mixing it all.

[Randy Sklar]

So we. So we go, and Jay and I are sitting there, and it's like. We're like, anything's possible. There's a line outside. There's eight bachelorette parties. The DJ's full blast. We're waiting for our skillets to come, and Randy looks at me and looks at me and says the phrase I never thought anyone would ever say in my life. He said, is that Diana Taurasi? Okay, so WNBA star is a question favorite, and.

[John Holberg]

No, it was a busboy.

[Randy Sklar]

No, no.

[John Holberg]

Thank you. Thank you. I'll be. I'm allowed to say it. You guys can go down your road. Save your. Save your souls for your TV show. I'll do the best.

[Randy Sklar]

So we. So we. We do think it's her. I think it's her, but we're not sure she's with a woman. And I'm like, check. All right. She's. She is in athletic. She's, like, in athletic shorts. So then, like, we're, you know, forensic scientists trying to solve. I'm trying to Walk behind her and be like, man, I love those Yukon huskies. Like, just say anything to see if she would turn. I checking the circumference of her calf just to be like, is this a. Is that an athletic. Is that a professional athlete? Then I'm looking at the quality of her footwear, and I'm like, is she wearing just some really, like, crappy shower shoes, or is she wearing, like, really good slides? And then I'm, like, starting to sort of think about what is the WNBA pay scale? And then I'm, like, getting mad that they're not getting paid, what they should get paid. And it turns out it was definitely not her. There's no way she's showing up. I'll tell you why. Because we're like, this could be Diana Taussi until she ordered, like, a Bloody mary at, like, 10 in the morning. Like, it's not Diana.

[John Holberg]

She's got a game at three. It could explain some of the performances.

[Randy Sklar]

From the wnba, some of the erratic passing.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, that's hilarious.

[Randy Sklar]

You know, So I threw a green dildo at the bar, which was a weird call. Weird call. They put it in the Bloody Mary. It did, yeah. Very Bloody Mary. Very special celery stick.

[John Holberg]

I have been a fan of the dildo toss. I have specific rules about the. Because I don't think even at a funeral, somebody throwing a dildo doesn't break. Everybody's gonna laugh. It's never funny. It's always going to be funny. But throw it. When the girls are on the other side of the floor, throw it at the floor and try to land it. You can't land suction cup down because then the referee trying to get it off the thing is going to be hilarious.

[Randy Sklar]

The harder he pulls, the funnier it.

[John Holberg]

Gets for all of us.

[Brady]

Shake weight.

[John Holberg]

I'm here for the.

[Randy Sklar]

She pulls. That's not a male referee. But the. You could do, like, the. It's like the water bottle challenge, like, every. Like, Millennial Kit or every.

[John Holberg]

I said that our company will give $10,000 to the first person that sticks one.

[Randy Sklar]

Stick it. It's called stick the landing.

[John Holberg]

You imagine Marv Albert calling that game. Yes.

[Randy Sklar]

Yes. Bite me on my back now.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holberg]

He's totally into it. He'd run out there and get it for later.

[Randy Sklar]

He would get it out of there.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, I like that. I, like.

[Randy Sklar]

Can't believe that that hat, like, just walking out of here after doing, like, a lovely.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, you just have a Diana Taurasi moment.

[Randy Sklar]

But a potential Diana. It was like a fake Diana Tarrasi Anything's possible. We're like, we could bring the coyotes back and then we could bring the coyotes. I don't know if that's possible.

[John Holberg]

My dad had a racist BO a while and when I was a kid and we would do stuff with the racist boss and he was.

[Randy Sklar]

Everybody had a racist.

[John Holberg]

Everybody. Well, it was. It was the 80s.

[Randy Sklar]

Everybody was.

[John Holberg]

Look, let's be honest. My dad was probably right there with him, which is why we went to dinner with him.

[Randy Sklar]

So.

[John Holberg]

So we, we went to. Every time we'd go to dinner as a 8 or 9 year old boy, as a huge sports fan.

[Randy Sklar]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Jimmy Richards from DK to Georgia would go, johnny, you see that over there? Like, what is that? I believe that is. I need to throw a name out. That's Lester Hayes from Oakland Raiders. Go get his autograph. Any black guy in any restaurant. I went up and said, may I have your autograph? What? I'm an engineer on the train, right? And he laughed. And dumbass me would fall for it every day.

[Randy Sklar]

That's a trick on a kid. Our dad used to do this with us. He would, when we were really little, like 2 or 3 years old, if he saw someone at a restaurant too, like four or five, I was gonna.

[John Holberg]

Say, it's too early to start messing with the kids.

[Randy Sklar]

He sold us into slavery.

[John Holberg]

He was a human trafficker. He thought it was hilarious.

[Randy Sklar]

So he said, Nikes. Listen to me. We spent several years in Curacao and.

[John Holberg]

You'Re making Gucci purse.

[Randy Sklar]

We made the new iPhones. All right? So. So Randy and I, I don't know, we were four, maybe four or five. We were young enough to not really know. Young enough to not to turn him down on this. So he would see someone in a restaurant far away. He'd see any, and he'd see that the person didn't see him. And he'd be like, go over to that table over there and go over to that guy in the shirt. And you describe the shirt. And he'd say loudly say, daddy at a restaurant. Which we would do. And like, this guy's like, his wife is like, wait, is there something you want to tell me? There was always like an awkward moment because it was only funny to our dad, who was not at that table. Entertain your dad. And we just did what he said. And our dad would be falling out of his seat, waving from around a pole. And he's the only one who thinks that funny. Everyone at the table, this guy called it a great life.

[John Holberg]

Bit funnier still to do it now.

[Randy Sklar]

Do it now.

[John Holberg]

Let's get up to like a guy who's late 70s and just enjoying his last meal.

[Randy Sklar]

And we walk up. Daddy, wheel them in.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. And if you've got papers, like just waving him, he would be convinced.

[Randy Sklar]

We talked about this in our act about secret second family. Oh, dumbest secret second family. Dumbest idea ever. That is the. Not a mistress, not a. Not a side piece. A whole other family. What are you doing? That even the people who were in the submersible were like, that's a dumb idea. Stupid idea. Give me that Nintendo controller. That is a dumb idea. Secret. Cuz no amount of sex with a new partner is worth seven back to school nights. It's just not. You got to go to all of them. I don't care if three of them are on zoom. It doesn't matter. Like, what a dumb idea. It's so dumb. And I think that that plays into that. Us showing up as secret, secret children. It is secret.

[John Holberg]

So good though. And I want to be part of that.

[Brady]

Those documentaries where the guys that had a separate.

[Randy Sklar]

A whole other family. My architect, great documentary guy. Just want to find out about his dad and starts doing some research and all of a sudden like, oh, got another family. Got a whole. Oh, that's why dad. I mean it is funny because we talk about this in the act too. Just about how like I love our kids so much. Like I'll never like go out for a pack of cigarettes and never come back. Like, which was a thing producer had to have.

[John Holberg]

We call him Baba Bastard because that.

[Randy Sklar]

Was an option for dads a lot of 70s, 80s. Yep. You're like, I'm like, I do think find my iPhone is going to like put an end to that. You know what I mean? Makes it tougher. You know what I mean? You're like, dad's been gone for a. He's up in Flagstaff right now tooling around.

[Brady]

Wait for cigarettes.

[Randy Sklar]

But I can see where he's going. If your dad comes home suddenly with a Samsung Galaxy, he's gone. He's out of the house. That's his way of saying I'm gone. Why? Red flag. Right? Why are all my text to dad coming up green?

[John Holberg]

He stopped caring.

[Randy Sklar]

We. We all have that friend on our text chain who's ruining every one of our text chains. Yeah. With a green thing and like you can't get out of it now that they're on. Now you're in it. You're ruined. It like it's. I can't get off your Android, anyone. Like you've ruined everything.

[John Holberg]

It's the hierarchy. It is the the proletariat and the bourgeoisie. It's the green and the blue and the blues win the blues win.

[Randy Sklar]

You poison the water green. Stop it.

[Brady]

They are teasing. They're saying they fly. Trying to work it out to say it's all blue.

[John Holberg]

Send as text message because half the time yours don't go to them. And it says that little red exclamation point ruins everything.

[Randy Sklar]

I'm in Europe. You're not in Europe. I just checked. Find my iPhone.

[John Holberg]

You're not roaming. Don't lie to me Tiny. The little baby grainy pictures Sam Sunger's Holberg's Morning Sickness. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins hopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house, cash. As is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1-800-Sale Now.

[Brett]

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[Brett]

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[Brady]

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[John Holberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. That should be. That's gonna be a slur someday. One of the S words.

[Randy Sklar]

I'm hanging out with this Samsung. You know they're saying something bad when they bring their voice down. So I'm downtown and I'm hanging out with two of these Samsung and your dad's boss is like, take a look at that man over there.

[John Holberg]

Get over there. That Samsung over there plays for the Raiders.

[Randy Sklar]

His name is Sam Sung. He's the first Asian player to play for the Raiders. Daddy Brady gets it wrong.

[John Holberg]

The guy's like, come on, kid. The Sklar brothers are at Desert Ridge this weekend. You want to head on up there? It's desertridgeimprov.com Grab your tickets for that. Anything else in your world, like your kids have got to be like 30 or 35 some.

[Randy Sklar]

I'm about to drop both of my kids off at college. So they've been. So the older one's a junior at Michigan. The younger one got into Michigan. I'm going to drop them both off on Monday. So we finish this weekend of shows and then we go to Ann Arbor and I'm gonna on Monday. Empty nester. I'm gonna be an empty nester.

[John Holberg]

Which is.

[Brady]

You think there'll be tears?

[Randy Sklar]

Yeah. Oh, definitely. I mean, I love these kids. It's more like just because, I mean, the older one is, I'm dropping her back into an ecosystem that she loves. The older one is like if she could have been a third of me and Jay. She's really funny, does like improv and sketch comedy and it's like, wants to, you know, is a writer. She's very, very fun and can hang with this. The young one is my daughter. Like the younger one is my daughter. I mean, I got mocked the other day for buying the wrong apples, which I never thought was anything anybody could ever get mocked for. My 17 year old, 18 year old came up to me with like an apple that was all brown and wrinkly on one side and she's like, do you even know how to buy apples? Yeah, again, when I was your age, I was turning that thing into a pipe. So, yeah, I know how to buy apples. You know how to buy apples. Which was really fun to say to no one, because the second I started talking, she just left the room. Oh, yeah, she's gone. So that is my daugh. And she has never really been away from home, so that is it. But I do welcome the empty nestery that is kind of about to happen.

[John Holberg]

And she keeps this attitude up. She's gonna find out what dad does with apples and she's gonna start getting some green text.

[Randy Sklar]

Exactly. The green text. Where is dad? He's a burning man. He's never coming back, so that's crazy. So on Monday, he drops him off and then the Michigan football team asked us if we would come and do comedy for the team, which is simultaneously the best and potentially the worst thing they ever could. Like, it could be terrible.

[John Holberg]

You can't strike out Michigan, like, with you.

[Randy Sklar]

This is huge material about it. Finally, we can do the joke about, you know, like, you do Ryan Day jokes all day. Oh, we're going to do tons of Ryan Day jokes.

[John Holberg]

Oh, it's Ohio State rape for two hours. That's all I'm.

[Randy Sklar]

It's gonna be just straight up.

[John Holberg]

I would just reenact the documentary as a comedy for Michigan kids.

[Randy Sklar]

Just Ryan Days.

[John Holberg]

Ryan Days.

[Randy Sklar]

He's busy getting his beard dyed.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, that's unnatural.

[Randy Sklar]

Dying inside.

[John Holberg]

He goes to the. The Walgreens and picks out Chinese black for a beard. I don't think that's a real.

[Randy Sklar]

It's not even. I don't want to say the carpet doesn't match the drapes, but the Dr. Drapes don't even match the drapes with Ryan Day.

[John Holberg]

He's manufactured. Yeah. Did you guys enjoy the Ohio State documentary that destroyed them thoroughly. Top to bottom. About that doctor that touched everybody's booty.

[Brady]

Yeah, Strauss gave the best physicals there.

[Randy Sklar]

Stop it.

[John Holberg]

He's an Ohio State fan.

[Randy Sklar]

I know.

[John Holberg]

Had to be the greatest moment for Michigan fan.

[Randy Sklar]

Well, you know, Michigan, I feel like every school had a doctor that they didn't that did that stuff, so. Yes. That's horrible. I mean, look, I mean, Penn State.

[John Holberg]

We know it's horrible.

[Randy Sklar]

It was the defensive coordinator, so, I mean, Michigan State, it was a gymnastics do, so coach, so, like, I mean, yes, you can go down the line. I wasn't happy that it happened. Look, I just am psyched that Michigan keeps beating Ohio State. Like it is kind of. Right now we're trying to think about how long it's been since Ohio State has beaten Michigan.

[John Holberg]

Like four years.

[Randy Sklar]

Five iPhones have come out. Five new iPhones Michigan State has had five new coaches. I mean let's be honest. That's it. I mean it's, it's a lot of time. So I so wait. So my wife for our. For Father's Day I was like is she going to. You know, because my kids don't really. I mean they're fine but like you don't really. My wife surprised me and took me to like a hotel in la. In la, like a staycation just for Father's Day. And I wasn't. She's like let's go to this lumberyard. I'm like in Pasadena. She's like just wear your swimming suit. I'm like wait, what am I wearing your swimming suit? Do you in the lumberyard takes me to the hotel and we go and like immediately eat some mushroom chocolate. Because that's what you do when your kids get older. You act like you never had kids. And that's the funny thing is that I'm watching Randy have like zero patience for any child. I have no patience. None. So we go to the, the hotel, like hear a kid at the hotel pool. You hear a kid peep and you're like get him out here, shut him up and get. Should be seen and not heard. That's why I've always said that it's like I've never had kids in my entire life. So we get this is the craziest thing ever. We're there and it's all kicking in and we're in the pool and we see a kid in the pool who is naked. Now at a public pool, I'm like what is the age at which, you know, where do you draw the line? Where it's appropriate for a boy. Where do you draw the line Brady.

[John Holberg]

For naked child under 2?

[Randy Sklar]

Okay. This kid was probably 7 years old and his parents are picking up and throwing him around. I'm like, my wife was like I never thought I'd see like a. Because we have two daughters. I never thought I'd see a seven year old kid. Junk. Kid junk. And it is junk. It is no longer a wee wee a ppe.

[Brady]

It's legitimate junk.

[Randy Sklar]

I never thought I'd see it. Kid has an icloud account. Right. She's someone's junk if they have an icloud. She's right. In cursive. Okay. If he was around when the hotel was built in 1960, you wouldn't have a foreman on the project. Right? You would have three kids of his own. Tell me she would be looking at his Junk. She's like, I never thought I'd see a seven year old penis in my life. And I was like, yeah, you're not Kevin Spacey. Which, by the way, was a great job. That's a good joke. When he's high on mushrooms. So I'm like, why do I. What do we do in that situation? Because what can you do? It's not like you can. There's no lifeguard on duty. The second you approach the parents, they're gonna bristle, they're gonna go harder. They'll probably take their bathing suits off. Right.

[John Holberg]

Careful with that phrase.

[Randy Sklar]

Right. I don't wanna see that. So this is our solution. I think if you go to a nice hotel, you should be able to pay a little bit extra. Just a little bit. It's like a little bit more of a service fee. Service fee for more naked kids? No, to be able to hit two kids that aren't your own at the kids.

[John Holberg]

Oh, my God.

[Randy Sklar]

It's better than just rough them up.

[John Holberg]

A. Oh, strike me is. I mean, it makes sense, right? You're gonna make me cry. I think this is the greatest idea I've ever had.

[Randy Sklar]

There will be a moment where you're checking out. I'm like, honey, I hit one kid. Did you? Oh, I didn't hit anyone. Okay, watch the luggage. Check us out. There'll be kids messing around and we leave our luggage up here. Or the flip side, when you show up and you're looking at your bill and you're like, this says, we hit three kids. We hit two. We only hit two. We threatened a third. We said don't look under your bed for two years.

[Brady]

Charged for that?

[Randy Sklar]

That's like taking something out of the mini bar, picking up, putting it down.

[John Holberg]

Time stamp on that.

[Randy Sklar]

Thank you.

[Brady]

But you moved the kid.

[John Holberg]

I'm sorry? You made contact?

[Randy Sklar]

We moved him aside to threaten him. How is that bad?

[John Holberg]

Battery, technically.

[Randy Sklar]

But him by his ear. I pulled him hard, but I mean, that's not part of the.

[John Holberg]

I would be all over that.

[Randy Sklar]

Right? Can we do that?

[Brady]

The result, this is this strike fee. Parent resort. What's that mean?

[John Holberg]

The resort fee includes two smacks.

[Randy Sklar]

Two smacks. Two. You're not in the face. You're not gonna, you know, neck, Neck and chest.

[John Holberg]

Maybe throat. Throat is a two shot.

[Randy Sklar]

Quick chop, shove a kick to the back, a chop to the solar plexus.

[John Holberg]

That counts as one. That's not a double. Even though he can't breathe, I love it. If you knock the wind out of.

[Randy Sklar]

Him, you lose your Second one, I'm not advocating for kidding kids, but I do think the hotel pool is like the end of civilization.

[John Holberg]

I'm not sure that's true. I think you just advocated for it for a good five minutes.

[Randy Sklar]

How about this? How about the threat of it? Like we don't have the threat of it anymore. Obviously none of us are doing that, so the threat isn't even there. But if the threat's out there at hotels, you can ball your fist and make a kid flinch.

[John Holberg]

The five across the face. I like this.

[Brady]

Gives you the rundown.

[Randy Sklar]

Smacking. Non smacking. Yeah. Is this a non smacking resort?

[John Holberg]

He didn't check Trivago. You have to look for the deal.

[Randy Sklar]

They have us in a non smacking room. I got to go down and talk to them. I got to go down and talk to somebody. Real problem.

[John Holberg]

That's phenomenal. What a great idea. I knew you guys would come up with something.

[Randy Sklar]

Come on. We're here. We're here. We're here for everyone's benefit and we worked it out.

[John Holberg]

Do you guys want to hang around with Dale Hellestra?

[Randy Sklar]

He. Are you kidding?

[John Holberg]

You don't know where he is? Dude, you don't remember him at all?

[Randy Sklar]

Dale Hill. He said he's a long enough. If I. If I mistaken Dale Hellscape.

[John Holberg]

The hellscape of Dale. Yes.

[Randy Sklar]

He's the reason why the cowboys want all those.

[John Holberg]

He. He will love.

[Randy Sklar]

Are you talking about long snapper and backup guard Dale?

[John Holberg]

Yeah. I don't know where you got this information, but this is pretty amazing you guys can pull that out.

[Randy Sklar]

I mean, look, we know our 1990s cowboy, his specialty interior lineman, specialty players and backup lineman. I mean, if anybody walks around, they ask us this stuff, you probably it.

[John Holberg]

Triggers the poster you had. Everybody had the day we did of.

[Randy Sklar]

Him just completely soaking wet on a night street called Fire and Ice. Yeah, we got it. We got it.

[John Holberg]

All right, Randy and Jason, the Sklar brothers are here at Desert Ridge Improv this week. And we'll talk with Dale and the Sklar brothers coming up next. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.

[Randy Sklar]

98.

[Brett]

Hey, Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.

[Byron]

Brett.

[Randy Sklar]

I sure do.

[Byron]

It's MMP Guns Customs MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[Brett]

Well, can you do this to my.

[Byron]

Gun, we can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no wait.

[Brett]

Well, there you have it. MMP guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and school or online at mmpgunscustoms.com all right, HMS podcast time again.

[Comedy Announcer]

To let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Lots of entertainment coming to town with Vinnie Guadagnino of Jersey Shore fame coming in Friday and Saturday to Stand Up Live at the Desert Ridge Improv. Up north you have the Sklar Brothers Thursday, Friday and Saturday and Eastside at the Tempe Improv, it's Steve O Friday, Saturday and Sunday. For the complete lineups and for tickets go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and Tempe Impro.

[Brady]

It's Brady from the HMS Crew for game Day Men's Health, the Valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations. You should do what I did and schedule a complimentary appointment which is quick and easy. You'll meet with a board certified medical director and figure out what treatments that can help you, whether you need more energy, medical, weight loss or sexual health treatments. Game Day Men's Health Clinic is a true game changer. Go to gameday phoenix.com and schedule your complimentary appointment today. Get back in the game with Game Day Men's Health.