08-14-25 - Thursdays w/Former Dallas Cowboy OLineman Dale Hellestrae - w/The Sklar Brothers But Does Dale Know Who They Are?

Summary

---

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Thursdays w/Former Dallas Cowboy O-Lineman Dale Hellestrae & The Sklar Brothers

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD
Date: August 15, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Guests: Dale Hellestrae (Former Dallas Cowboy O-Lineman), Randy & Jason Sklar (The Sklar Brothers), HMS Crew (Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo)

---

Overview

This lively, joke-packed episode centers on comedic sports commentary and nostalgic television riffs, as the irreverent HMS crew welcomes NFL veteran Dale Hellestrae and the Sklar Brothers. The group banters about sports culture, showbiz memories, sitcom oddities, and upcoming NFL storylines—punctuated by friendly roasts, quick wit, and unscripted, genuine laughs.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Circus: The Sklar Brothers Meet Dale

• Dale's “Hellustrator”: The Sklar Brothers tease Dale about his telestrator struggles during sportscasts. Jokes abound about Dale's inability to use touchscreens, with John and Brady riffing on how the telestrator “just draws a cat and the word ‘cat.’”

  • "It's a thing. It's a telestrator that he does not know how to use." – Dale Hellestrae (02:24)
  • "No, you don't even need a pen. It's really easy. Even I can do that. It's a finger and it's a button." – Sklar Brother (02:34)

• Dale Fills in for Jim Rome: The group discusses the Sklar Brothers’ experience filling in as hosts for Jim Rome, poking fun at Rome's devoted fanbase (“the clones”).

  • "His audience is great in terms of... he's got his clones." – Dale (04:11)

• Dale Hating Ozzy Osbourne: Hellestrae’s notorious, unpopular Ozzy Osbourne take resurfaces with much ribbing from all sides.

  • "Let's not go back there." – Dale, dodging past outrage (04:50)

2. 80s Sitcom Satire & Dark Humor

• Different Strokes and Sitcom Trauma: A lengthy, darkly funny breakdown of old sitcoms focusing on the abundance of “dead parents” and traumatic plots masked as comedy.

  • "Somebody had to go in and go, okay, two young kids, parents are dead…Then the funny start, like there’s no traumatic scarring at all." – John (07:36)

• Wild Tales About Rick James and Celebrity Interventions: Dale shares an anecdote about Rick James being called upon to stage an intervention for Todd Bridges, adding humor about James’s reputation.

  • "How many drugs do you have to be doing to have Rick James come in on your lifeline?" – Dale (05:30)

• Famous "Special Episodes": They reference infamous “very special episodes” of sitcoms (“Gordon Jump raped Dudley and never brought up again”) with a blend of shock and satire.

3. Age, Looks, and Self-Deprecation

• Who Would Attract More Older Women?
  The guys create a hypothetical scenario involving 1,000 single 60-year-old women and hilariously debate how many would be interested in each of the crew/guests.

  • "Less than 5 would turn and have interest in me." – John (11:09)
  • "I said at least 800 to 900 would look towards me and go, yeah, that's an all right looking guy for 63." – Sklar Brother (11:34)

• Dale’s Aches and Pains: Hellestrae jokes about going in for a “back shot,” prompting plenty of innuendo and “old man” humor.

  • "You're going in for a back shot? That's a good porn search." – Dale (14:51)

4. Sports Talk & Upcoming Football Season

• Performing for Michigan Football:
  The Sklar Brothers describe the nerves and excitement of being invited to perform comedy for the University of Michigan’s football team (16:05).

  • "Which will either be great or terrible. It’s like 105, 18 to 22 year old, predominantly African American young men... So, like, your normal audience." – Sklar Brother & Holmberg (16:32)

• On Cards’ Will Johnson:
  The Sklars praise Cardinals rookie Will Johnson, predicting stardom.

  • "He is going to be a star. He is going to be a star. He’s a stud." – Sklar Brother (17:02)

• Super Bowl Predictions & Sympathy for Perennial Losers:
  The group expresses wishes to see underdog franchises like Detroit or Buffalo win the Super Bowl, with nostalgia for the lost St. Louis Cardinals.

  • "I would love to see Detroit win the Super Bowl… I'm all for a franchise that has not won to step up." – Sklar Brother (18:16)

• Chargers, Rams, and Harbaugh Stories:
  The Sklars discuss their mixed loyalties in L.A. football and share stories of Jim Harbaugh’s quirks.

  • "He can be a real… Yeah, he’s prickly." (19:43)

• Quarterback Roulette:
  The hosts riff on the QB situation in various teams (Steelers, Browns, Cardinals), with jokes about odd picks and surreal scenarios ("even Dana Plato is going to throw a pass").

  • "If the Browns even make it to the AFC championship... I will build the bomb shelter in my backyard. Because it's the end of the world." – John (23:09)

5. Dallas Cowboys & NFL Culture

• Jerry Jones and Cowboys Dysfunction:
  Dale criticizes Jerry Jones’ infamous micromanagement of the Cowboys, calling it a circus.

  • "Jerry Jones micromanaging that team is a problem." – Dale (25:27)

• Cheerleaders & Changing NFL Sidelines:
  Playful commentary about the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders’ influence and the introduction of male/fat cheerleaders elsewhere.

  • "Nobody goes to nobody... there’s been no picketing... to make sure that we have more boy cheerleaders." – John (27:02)
  • "The last thing I want to be reminded of while I’m drinking beer is that he can dance better than I'll ever even dream of." – John (27:19)

6. NFL & NBA Season Anticipation

• Rising Hype for New Football and Basketball Seasons:
  The panel expresses excitement for the return of football, analyzes schedule releases, and jokes about attending NBA games.

  • "The fact that it's back in the air. Can you feel it?" – Dale (29:35)

• Vikings’ New Hope – J.J. McCarthy:
  Inside info from Hawksinson and Phillips about their faith in rookie QB J.J. McCarthy.

  • "He is the guy." – Sklar Brother (28:13)
  • "He's magnetic. People love him. He's got the talent… He’s got the arm." – Sklar Brother (28:56)

7. Audience Oddities & Life in Sports

• Jersey Faux-Pas:
  Riffs on fans who wear random team jerseys to games they’re not involved in.

  • "The only thing worse... is you go to a Cardinals game, and someone wears a Bears jersey." – Sklar Brother (30:34)

• Stadium Announcer Story:
  Sklar recounts his daughter being invited to play the organ at a Cardinals game, getting to do the "charge!" theme for 21,000 fans (31:17).

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Dale's technology troubles:
  "It's a telestrator that he does not know how to use. The whole time is like, 'I can't get pen to work.'" – Dale (02:24)

• On sitcom pitches:
  "Somebody had to go in and go, okay, two young kids, parents are dead...Then the funny start, like there’s no traumatic scarring at all." – John (07:36)

• On Rick James doing interventions:
  "How many drugs do you have to be doing to have Rick James come in on your lifeline?" – Dale (05:30)

• On football misery:
  "When the Steelers lose, it ruins your weekend." – John (19:10)
  "If the Browns even make it to the AFC championship... I will build the bomb shelter in my backyard." – John (23:09)

• Super Bowl underdogs:
  "I would love to see Detroit win the Super Bowl… I'm all for a franchise that has not won to step up." – Sklar Brother (18:16)

• Dale on going to the doctor:
  "You're going in for a back shot? That's a good porn search." – Dale (14:51)

• On cheerleaders:
  "The last thing I want to be reminded of while I’m drinking beer is that he can dance better than I'll ever even dream of." – John (27:19)

• On J.J. McCarthy's charisma:
  "He's magnetic. People love him. He's got the talent. Hawkinson's like, he's got the arm." – Sklar Brother (28:56)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Time | Segment/Topic | |--------|--------------------------------------------------------| | 01:53 | Sklar Brothers join, Dale’s “Hellustrator” jokes | | 04:40 | Dale’s Ozzy Osbourne take | | 05:26 | Rick James/Todd Bridges intervention story | | 07:36 | 80s sitcom tropes, "Different Strokes" breakdown | | 11:03 | The "who would older women pick?" debate | | 14:51 | "Back shot" innuendo | | 16:05 | Sklar Brothers to perform for Michigan football | | 17:02 | Cardinals’ Will Johnson praise | | 18:16 | Super Bowl picks – rooting for underdogs | | 19:43 | Stories about Jim Harbaugh | | 23:09 | The Browns as Super Bowl contenders – apocalypse jokes | | 25:27 | Dale on Jerry Jones and Cowboys dysfunction | | 27:02 | NFL cheerleaders and sideline spectacle | | 29:35 | Excitement for NFL season return | | 28:13 | J.J. McCarthy endorsement | | 30:34 | Audience jersey faux-pas | | 31:17 | Stadium announcer/organ anecdote |

---

Tone & Style

The episode is quick-paced, irreverent, and improvisational, blending sports commentary with stand-up sensibility and pop-culture nostalgia. The guests and hosts riff naturally, sparring and poking fun in a way that’s accessible to both diehard fans and listeners dropping in for laughs.

---

For New Listeners

This episode exemplifies HMS at its best: sports blended with left-field humor, a touch of inside baseball (and football, and NBA), and regular digressions into the absurd. You don’t need to be a sports fanatic to enjoy the banter—just come ready to laugh at the wild stories, fast quips, and the willingness of the crew to roast anyone and anything.

---

Transcript

[Brett Vesley]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Hooters Announcer]

Touchdown deals are happening now at hooters starting at $10.99 per person. You can grab a Hooty's Pick 3 your choice of an appetizer, entree and a drink. Dig into crispy fried pickles, juicy wings or a cheeseburger and wash it all down with an ice cold fountain drink or upgrade to a cocktail or buzz balls for just a few bucks more. Don't forget to pick your player with big daddy drafts of Michelob Ultra or Bud light for only $4 or DOS Equis for just 5 do dollars. Hooters has the food, drinks and game day vibes. Hooters, where the party always kicks off.

[John Holmberg]

Hey everybody, it's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time once again for the pick of the litter. Brought to you by our friends at turf Monsters a dot com. This week's pick the litter is a special little guy surrendered by his family because financial woes made it so they just could not give little manufacturer a great life. A little bit older. It's a Bichon poodle mix. Smart as a whip. Check it all out. Lost our home.org or 98kupd.com it's the pick of the litter.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from Amco. Let's talk about back to school TLC for your car.

[Wayne from Amco]

Larry, the last thing anyone needs right now is to start the school year with car troubles.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Yeah, makes sense.

[Brady from HMS Crew]

What should people do?

[Wayne from Amco]

Head to your closest amco. We specialize in back to school auto repairs for the busy school season. Plus we have a back to school discount for students and teachers.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Yeah, but do you need to make an appointment?

[Wayne from Amco]

Not at all. Just pop into your nearest Amco or book online.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Now that's convenient. Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco double A MCO transmissions and.

[John Holmberg]

A whole lot more.

[Wayne from Amco]

And remember, AMCO proudly supports Operation Hydrations.

[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homburg's morning sickness [e-mail] all.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

I got a PT Barnum this entire deal. Now the Sklar brothers are here. It's going to be a circus. It's a. The Sklar brothers are here. And speaking of circuses, three rings are with him as well. Dale Hellastray has joined us as well. Three time world champ.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Let's go to the Hellustrator.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

There you go. Hey, by the way, I require a phone call on Wednesday night if somebody's being infringed upon my. I don't care what movies they're in.

[John Holmberg]

First off, never gonna call you. Quit begging. Second, the Hellustrator is a really good idea.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

I brought four years to games for Fox.

[Dale Hellistrator]

So. The Hellustrator.

[John Holmberg]

You called it the Hellustrator.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Can I talk about the Hellustrator? It's a thing. It's a telestrator that he does not know how to use. So he. The whole time is like, I can't. I can't get pen to work. It maps the movements.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

No, you don't even need a pen. It's really easy. Even I can do that. It's a finger and it's a button. Sometimes you forget to click it off.

[John Holmberg]

The same words his dad used for sex education.

[Dale Hellistrator]

It's a finger and a button and it's easy. It is a thing you close. Find it. And I can't find the damn button. Tell your. Tell your mother to turn it on.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Say that much.

[Brady from HMS Crew]

You'll never find my room.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Sophomore year in high school. And he said, walking around my room, you know, my mom made him come in there. And finally he goes, do you have any questions?

[Dale Hellistrator]

That was it.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't even know the topic.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

I said, no. And he goes, good. And he walked out. That was my sex act.

[Dale Hellistrator]

And then it was questions. And he's like, who is Emmitt Smith? Oh, Jesus.

[John Holmberg]

A little later.

[Dale Hellistrator]

It's unbelievable. That is a very long snapper.

[John Holmberg]

I thought I've seen Dale do. He does Arizona Rattler games and he does use the Hellustrator but it usually is just a picture of a cat and then the word cat. And he's trying to find a line like which one is what? And it's like, perfect. I got it all. So Dale is. Dale is here because you guys have a sports background.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Having had ESPN shows and shows on espn. Guest hosted Jim Romes radio show forever. And we just did a week of it this summer. Did you? Yeah. So we're in it. Let's. Let's. Let's get deep.

[John Holmberg]

Great show to host. If it isn't by me, it doesn't matter. But I do enjoy having these Gwar brothers involved.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Squar brothers.

[John Holmberg]

When they call you and said, hey, Randy and. Or Jason, I do not know who I am talking to.

[Dale Hellistrator]

This is.

[John Holmberg]

Can I get you to fill in for a week? I am going to Cancun.

[Dale Hellistrator]

I'll be in Wisconsin. I am going to Cancun.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's got to be awesome.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Oh, yeah. No, he's amazing. And his audience is great in terms of. They just, you know, he's got his clones. We've got the clones. Stale.

[John Holmberg]

What would your listeners be called? Anyway, we moved on.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Don't think that they're on your side.

[Dale Hellistrator]

By the way, dishonorably discharged Marines. That's his audience.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. I like that. But Dale is. Dale is knowledgeable about certain things. Yes.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Just not. Not rock music.

[John Holmberg]

Not music. Not.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

I got hammered for my take on.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Ozzy Osbourne, which was.

[John Holmberg]

He hates him.

[Dale Hellistrator]

You hate Ozz.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Well, people were, like, really upset about him.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Let's not go back there. Let's not go. Let's not go back there.

[John Holmberg]

The day after he died, Dale comes on the show and starts telling us that. What's this? This? He was like a loser. A hippie. Couldn't sing.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Dale comes on the show. Guys, Sharon Osborne's husband died.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

What?

[Dale Hellistrator]

No. Did you. He was really broken up when Randy Rhodes died, so that was just a.

[John Holmberg]

Finger and a button.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Just a finger and a button. Where's. How can your mom keeps hiding it.

[John Holmberg]

Now, you said something about long snappers or something in the past.

[Dale Hellistrator]

No, I was just talking about. There was a moment we were talking about, you know, Brady, and we're talking about tumors.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, sure. The fun stuff, the comedy basics.

[Dale Hellistrator]

I was just talking about how Gary Coleman and you had mentioned that. Isn't that crazy that Gary Coleman and Malcolm Jamal Warner were outlived by Todd Brid? And I just read a thing that Eddie Murphy had Rick James do an intervention on Todd Bridges. How many drugs do you have to be doing to have Rick James come in. In your lifeline? Yeah, just be, like, the sensible one. Rick James is, like, putting order to the situation. Jay and I were up in Buffalo, and I know you played Buffalo when you were playing, but we were up in Buffalo, and I don't know if, you know, drafted by Buffalo, so. Did you know that Rick James is buried in Buffalo? I did not know that. That should be on the airport, right? Rick James is like, welcome to Buffalo. Rick James is buried here. That should be what it is. So we go to the grave. We go. And it's just like a normal headstone. I mean, you think of. No, there was, like, a image of him on that. Totally. And of course, what's sitting in front of it is like Mardi Gras beats. Mardi Gras beats, lays. Because no one repped Hawaii more than Rick James. Beer bottles. Empty beer bottles. We're like, what just was what was artfully placed here. And what just blew in from what.

[John Holmberg]

Movie was Don Hoffalo as well.

[Dale Hellistrator]

But then we're like, that's the most F tribute for Rick James ever. Because like any party of his was who was artfully invited and who just blew in from the highway. I mean, what better way to Rick James to save Todd Bridges life? And he's the one who survived.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's the one who saved.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Yeah, he took half. He outlasted Dana Plato.

[Brady from HMS Crew]

He took half of Todd Bridges drug stand.

[Dale Hellistrator]

That's right. Is it true? He's like, you know what? He's got halfway though. I'll take this for you. It's gonna hurt me more than it's gonna hurt you. That's right, Rick. It is.

[John Holmberg]

Todd is the only remaining cast member of different struggles.

[Dale Hellistrator]

I thought Philip Drummond was still alive.

[John Holmberg]

Mr. Drummond. Worst television dad maybe in the history of television.

[Dale Hellistrator]

He was. I was like 70.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. And also like his. All of his kids.

[Dale Hellistrator]

That was like a weird period of time where it was like, let's focus on rich dads and their kids like silver spoons and that. It was like a period of time.

[John Holmberg]

Where like the pitch meeting is the thing that gets me. Somebody had to go in and go, okay, two young kids, parents are dead.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Yeah. Right.

[John Holmberg]

And they get adopted by a rich guy.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Then the funny start, like there's no traumatic scarring at all. And so big dead parents.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Then.

[John Holmberg]

Then ABC said, we need this. Yeah, find me a small black kid. We're going to kill his parents and.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Give him actually a man who's actually at least grown adult.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to deal with and.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Probably shouldn't be talking to Dana Plato. They're in between takes.

[Brady from HMS Crew]

And was she the biological dollar?

[Dale Hellistrator]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. And there was no mention of a mother. She had also lost her mother. So many deaths in sitcom, children's lives, the Brady Bunch. Dead family everywhere lousy with dead parents and their kids are fine.

[Dale Hellistrator]

You shall know us from the trail of our dead.

[John Holmberg]

The streets will flow with the blood of dead parents.

[Dale Hellistrator]

On sitcoms Friday.

[John Holmberg]

Do you remember different strokes at all?

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

I remember the show. I was not a big tv. I remember the little guy and the old dad. I remember a little bit.

[Dale Hellistrator]

By the way.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Refresh my memory, Jo.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Little guy in the old dad. He could have just been describing Fantasy Island. Little guy in the old dad was the 80s chico.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Why have I heard that the Dana Plato's name recently?

[John Holmberg]

Well, cuz they just said it. This is how bad The CTE is.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Oh, Lord.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

I read about it somewhere. Did something happen?

[John Holmberg]

You can't read.

[Dale Hellistrator]

She washed her hair with acid rain and it turned green.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. She did Playboy. She went away.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Yeah, she did.

[John Holmberg]

I think Rick. Rick James killed her on his way to Todd Bridges house.

[Dale Hellistrator]

He just held her hostage. There's nothing wrong with that.

[Brady from HMS Crew]

He had to drop.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

You don't quit doing drugs, the bitch gets it.

[John Holmberg]

That's how Rick James interventions were.

[Dale Hellistrator]

That was my favorite episode of Different Stories.

[John Holmberg]

That's very special. I think Nancy was on it.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Two parter, chained to a radiator. Two parter. Fantastic. They did have that episode though where.

[John Holmberg]

Gordon Jump raped Dudley. Never brought up again.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Never touched Dudley.

[John Holmberg]

Came back a week later still afraid of the Gooch. I think he would have had a different fear.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Terrible.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, terrible.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Terrible. You don't remember that?

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

I have no idea what you're like.

[John Holmberg]

He ran a bicycle.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

And Dudley and Arnold doing things I was doing.

[Dale Hellistrator]

We were not.

[John Holmberg]

I was with Randy and Jason. We were watching sitcoms about kids being abducted.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

It's true though.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

It was.

[John Holmberg]

It was a comedy tonight.

[Dale Hellistrator]

How do you do that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

How old are you two?

[Dale Hellistrator]

How do you think we are again?

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

When you get dolled up a little bit. You guys look up this morning. You didn't shave. Yeah, you look like you have bedhead. I'd say you're 55.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Oh, my God. Jesus. 53. He put two years on us. 53. We're almost 54, so. He's exactly right. He's a clairvoyant.

[John Holmberg]

That hurts.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Hey, I'm not trying to pick up on you too.

[Dale Hellistrator]

No, it's okay.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

I'm not gonna say 42.

[Dale Hellistrator]

I was gonna say you look like you're. Here we go, here we go.

[John Holmberg]

You died years ago.

[Dale Hellistrator]

No.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Are you gonna be honest?

[Dale Hellistrator]

Honestly. Think Dale is 63? Hot dog, 66.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

You guys googled me.

[Dale Hellistrator]

How old are you? How do I guess?

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty good, I guess.

[Dale Hellistrator]

And you were being nice, trying to make it better.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that is pretty nice. They hit it right on the head. Dale thinks he's an eight. He thinks in this room there's no way. A woman.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What was the thing I told you like of a thousand women?

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

A thousand sixty year old women from all walks of life were in a room.

[Dale Hellistrator]

How many of them are husbands?

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Everybody's single.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Okay.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

All the women. 60 women for all walks of life?

[Dale Hellistrator]

Yeah.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Good, bad, ugly, pretty. Whatever John Sundays. Less than 5 would turn and have interest in me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they would Turn and look now by saying interest not in, like, holy.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Cow, I want to go on a date with you.

[John Holmberg]

That interest, not the, oh my God, what did the scientists do?

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

I said at least 800 to 900.

[Dale Hellistrator]

800 to 900 out of a thousand.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Would look towards me and go, yeah, that's an all right looking guy for 63. Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Don't agree with Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd have just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house and he makes an offer for your house, cash as is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online at Doug hopkins.com.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Or sing Hopkins 1-800-sale now.

[Brett Vesley]

Hey Byron, I was looking at mmpguns.com's website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.

[Byron from MMP Guns]

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys and more. The best part is if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[Brett Vesley]

Wait, there's no, no back orders?

[Dale Hellistrator]

Nope.

[Byron from MMP Guns]

We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[Brett Vesley]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP.

[Brady from HMS Crew]

Guns.Com it's Brady from the HMS crew for game Day Men's Health, the valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations. You should do what I did and schedule a complimentary appointment which is quick and easy. You'll meet with a board certified medical director and figure out what treatments that can help you. Whether you're in need, more energy, medical, weight loss or sexual health treatments. Game Day Men's health Clinic is a true game changer. Go to gameday phoenix.com and schedule your complimentary appointment today. Get Back in the game with Gameday, Men's health.

[John Holmberg]

Homberg's morning sickness.

[Dale Hellistrator]

No. But I don't know if they'd come over and have the interest.

[John Holmberg]

No. 5 to 7.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

No. They'd be giving me the vibe, you know, they'd be looking at me.

[Dale Hellistrator]

What is that?

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Hold on. They look like Brady. He's 60. Or they looking at me.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Yeah.

[Brady from HMS Crew]

I would have at least 10.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Brady has like. Are you talking about a kidneyless Brady down a kidney? Kidneyless Brady?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Is Brady bringing his dialysis machine? Is that.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Who's got one kidney and ready and two thumbs and ready to party? This guy.

[Brady from HMS Crew]

The problem on the machine behind me.

[Dale Hellistrator]

That is chick magnets.

[John Holmberg]

I think you have.

[Dale Hellistrator]

My oxygen is really a great pickup line.

[John Holmberg]

All you guys are describing to me is as Brady and Dale walk in is a thousand women who want their money back. Yes. That's all I'm thinking. That's like if they came there to meet a man.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Yes. And you guys were the options.

[John Holmberg]

And these two rolled in post 60.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

They're like, nah, it's we.

[John Holmberg]

Lesbianism would rise in that room.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

We asked a woman who's in her 50s, and she said at least 900.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Would turn at least 900.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

And you know that you heard it and you tried to poo poo.

[John Holmberg]

Because she was being kind. And women can't count past 900. I think that's the thing I was getting at.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

I'm not sure.

[John Holmberg]

I had to say something atrocious to this.

[Dale Hellistrator]

He brought it around. Was that woman Dana Plato? Yeah. Rest in peace. May she rest in peace. And I want Dale to rest in peace. Not because he's dead. I just want him to get a good night's sleep. He's got some aches and pains.

[John Holmberg]

He looks beat up.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Yeah, a lot of aches and pains. Going in for a back shot today.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Are you really going in for a back shot? That's a good porn search. Back shots.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

A pain shot in my.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Oh, we get it. Don't.

[John Holmberg]

Don't get graphic.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Oh, no. He was going down the highway here that I didn't like.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you have a name for that highway.

[Dale Hellistrator]

You need to say in your back, not on your back.

[Brady from HMS Crew]

Big fan of back shots.

[John Holmberg]

Evidently, you get your shots. Why are your shoulders and knees touching? That's weird.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Dale will come in there. They're like, sir, you do not need to get completely naked for this. Dale, put your W at Ohio State.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

You go in for a straight shoulder. You drop your drawers.

[Dale Hellistrator]

As Michigan guys, we can. I will allow. I Will allow that. I will allow that. I'm now on Dale's side. You know what? 700 women. I just changed my tune, Dale. Because you'd walk in and be like, who wants a back shot? I got him. I'm Dale. I got back shots all around. My doctor's at pornhub. He's right down the street.

[John Holmberg]

The Sklar brothers are at desertridgeimprov.com Dale's just in the room. We're hanging around here, doing this. And sports in general. Football season starting a little bit. You guys, can we talk about the thing you're going to do or is that off limits?

[Dale Hellistrator]

So we get to. So we're connected with the University of Michigan. We went there. Both of my daughters are going there. I'm taking both of them up to school on Monday. And you know, one of the guys we're connected with, Shiron Moore, the coach of the team, they asked us to do comedy in front of the team. Yeah, really huge comedy in front of the team. Which will either be great or terrible. It's like 105, 18 to 22 year old, predominantly African American young men who have only played football and don't sort of.

[John Holmberg]

So look your normal audience.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Right. This is.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

I would not build your comedy routine around Dana Plato.

[Dale Hellistrator]

No, no, keep the references. We'll keep the references to Lil Yachty. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If you can break out as much.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Lil Yachty as little Yachty. But I'm excited. It's. It's very cool. We, we love Michigan, obviously. We're big fans. I think for you guys, if I can make it local. You guys are very lucky to have Will Johnson on this Cardinals team. I think he is going to be a great guy. He's a star. He is going to be a star. He's a stud.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

As long as he stays healthy, he will be healthy.

[John Holmberg]

You can guarantee this?

[Dale Hellistrator]

I guarantee he'll be healthy.

[John Holmberg]

They're like Merlins.

[Dale Hellistrator]

I gotta tell you, he is going to be a star. Cast the spell this city. You will fall in love with him. He is going to be fant.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

He's got the look. He's got the.

[Dale Hellistrator]

He's everything size, great look, great instincts. He's going to have a lot of interceptions. He's a tough physical back. You guys are going to love him.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Love him.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. I don't care about the Cardinals. I'm a Steelers fan, so it doesn't bother me at all.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

But I do live in Michigan.

[Dale Hellistrator]

No, we live in la, but went to Michigan and go back all the Time the Steelers are going to have also Shadur Sanders, like doing the most Shadur Sanders thing ever. Like an incredible preseason game and then breaks his oblique. Like screws up his oblique. Yeah. Throwing like just, I don't know, his keys to someone.

[John Holmberg]

To have that happen to them. The good thing is they've got six quarterbacks.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Got Dylan, Gabriel, you got Tim Couch is coming on Gabriel.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Brian.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Brian. Wonderful.

[John Holmberg]

Even Dana Plato's gonna throw.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Dana Plato's got a couple reps in there.

[John Holmberg]

Why not? At least it's somebody she runs the.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Wildcat as we know. So hey.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So who's gonna win the Super Bowl? Go that far right off the bat. Brothers make the pick.

[Dale Hellistrator]

What do you think, Ran? I mean I would love to see Detroit win the super bowl because I'm all. Or Buffalo. I'm all for a franchise that has not won to step up when I'm. I. Look, we grew up in St. Louis, so we rooted for the St. Louis Cardinals for years and years and they never won. They were 5 and perennial. 5 and 11. Like our highlight was when Neil Lomax.

[John Holmberg]

No, no.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Novo Boyovic, the kicker who came over, kicked a field 52 yard field goal, ran in the end zone and spiked it and then injured himself and injured himself spiking it like Martin Gramatica style.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dale Hellistrator]

So that's so. And then they left and then we left and then the rams came to St. Louis and we were happy for them and really loved that team. It was a fun. The greatest St. Louis. And they left. They came back to LA. So we don't really have a team, which is actually makes me enjoy the sport more. I can actually watch all of it.

[John Holmberg]

And you don't have the down days.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Right.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Because if your team loses, when the Steelers lose, it ruins your weekend. You're done.

[John Holmberg]

Week, week, week, it's over. I got to sit and watch.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Well, that's how you know you're a true fan. Okay. But when your team wins, you're going to start listening to podcasts, you're going to start listening to this. Are reading the stuff online. It's actually. It fills your whole week. That's the way you feel about Michigan sports.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

So are you a Rams fan out in LA though?

[Dale Hellistrator]

I like the Rams, but if you made me choose, since we know Harbaugh from Michigan, I would probably root for the Chargers in la. Charges are going to be fun. Charges all. Defense. Actually the defense is going to carry the Chargers.

[John Holmberg]

Not a fan of the Harbaugh.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

You don't like Harbaugh Well, I personally know him and I've done games of his, and he can be a real.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Yeah, he's prickly.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

No, no, no. Not prick, please. So stop with.

[John Holmberg]

Don't make it an.

[Dale Hellistrator]

It's a shot. It's a shot in his back, not on his. He's getting one. He's getting the distinction. You have to make the distinction, though, whether someone's on the spectrum or not. You got to understand who the guy is. So Harbaugh, when we were talking to Harbaugh, he was like, you're on his podcast. And he said, every time I try to. How do you be funny? He's like, every time I try to be funny, nobody laughs. But when I'm not trying to be funny, people laugh. And we laughed at that. And he was like, I wasn't trying to be funny. I don't know what to tell you. It's like an instinctual thing.

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't have it.

[Dale Hellistrator]

You can see it. Well, but he loves football and he loves a co. I don't think the Chargers are going to win the super bowl this year.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Left tackle after giving them a hundred million dollars.

[John Holmberg]

That's the risk you take. Yeah.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Kansas City, every year. Of course they'll be in the mix because they're just. But.

[John Holmberg]

But you'd rather see a Detroit, Buffalo, Super Bowl?

[Dale Hellistrator]

I would love to. To me, then I'd be like, some. One of those fan bases is going to be really happy. That to me, would be most bowl.

[John Holmberg]

That'S possibly ever that I. I ordered that and I'm like, oh, this is it.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Well, that was the Indiana Pacers, Oklahoma City Thunder, Super Bowl.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

I think. I think it. It would draw a lot of attention.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Well, there's a story. Josh Allen is a. Josh Allen is a star. Buffalo is a city with all of its bad luck. Like, there is a story that rises above the sport. I mean, when you're in the sport. Like, do we want to see the Eagles again? Do we want to see. No.

[John Holmberg]

Both teams uniforms look like they bought them at Ross.

[Dale Hellistrator]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

Like, they don'. They both look.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Jared Goff. One of his sleeves is longer than the other.

[John Holmberg]

It's got irregular on the tag.

[Dale Hellistrator]

I don't.

[John Holmberg]

You know, it just.

[Dale Hellistrator]

It's that I. I do. I agree with Jay. Like, another Eagles, Chiefs, Super Bowl. Nobody wants that. Unless you're from those cities. Just nobody wants that. I'd love to see new people in there. I mean, look, I'd be excited if Joe Burrow took his team again and you were like, all right, fine. Another one. You're picking all of them. What if Aaron Rodgers suddenly. Was Aaron.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty awesome, right?

[Dale Hellistrator]

That's pretty.

[John Holmberg]

Now we're talking. Now you guys know what you're talking about.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

So there we all the way back there and lose.

[John Holmberg]

Well, why would they lose?

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

The NFC's are much more powerful if.

[John Holmberg]

They get to the Super Bowl. I'm happy.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

You just told me you were. When we beat you, you said no, that was miserable.

[John Holmberg]

But I'm saying if you're telling me right now, John, you're going to.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Based on the recent history you get.

[John Holmberg]

To the Super Bowl, I'm like, oh.

[Dale Hellistrator]

My God, give me the shot.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I would pay for.

[Dale Hellistrator]

I mean, is it.

[John Holmberg]

Is it give me shot in the back?

[Dale Hellistrator]

Is it on the back? Is it the Ravens year this year? I am sorry to do this to you, but I'm asking you, Dale, is it the Ravens year again?

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

I think it's one of those things where they're to going. Going to be there again, of course. And then what's going to happen in the playoffs?

[Dale Hellistrator]

Who is Lamar Jackson going to be when you need him to be the quarterback, not just the guy who runs around.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Exactly.

[Dale Hellistrator]

And can he step up and make three throws that you need?

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

And. And that breaks it right down to big trust.

[Brady from HMS Crew]

Will get big trust.

[John Holmberg]

Cannot do it. Yeah. I, I get more joy. I have shirts of him crying because after he lost the playoff game, he started to cry. And I took a screenshot of that.

[Dale Hellistrator]

And gave it to us.

[John Holmberg]

I've got T shirts, yellow and black with crying Lamar. It was my screensaver for about seven months.

[Dale Hellistrator]

I get that. No one understands that more. No one understands you hate the teams. I think it's the Browns here this year.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Hilarious. And if they didn't stop watching football, Deshaun Watson is going to be the quarterback and it's going to be a happy ending.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going to make this promise to you right here.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Brown Bears. Browns. Bears.

[John Holmberg]

9:42Am on 14 Aug 2025, I will build the bomb shelter in my backyard. If the Browns even make it to the AFC championship.

[Dale Hellistrator]

They will not.

[John Holmberg]

Because it's the end of the world.

[Dale Hellistrator]

They will not. Let's be honest.

[John Holmberg]

No question that Putin is going to launch nukes.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Morning morning sickness radiate.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Kupd.

[Brett Vesley]

Hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett.

[Byron from MMP Guns]

I sure do. It's MMP Guns customs. MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Byron from MMP Guns]

We can new it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no wait.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, there you at MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at MMP gunscustoms.com.

[Comedy Announcer]

All right, HMS podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Lots of entertainment coming to town with Vinny Guadagnino of Jersey Shore fame coming in Friday and Saturday to stand up live at the Desert Ridge Improv. Up north you have the Sklar Brothers Thursday, Friday and Saturday and Eastside at the 10:00pm Pro, it's Steve O. Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups and for tickets go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com.

[John Holmberg]

And tempeimprov.com it's John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the core. He's not going to be back on the court immediately, but in a few months time he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain. You've been living with the Core Institute celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do again. Go to the core institute.com homeburg's morning sickness.

[Dale Hellistrator]

I would like to see the Bears. I think Denver's gonna make some noise again. I do think they're, you know, don't Cowboys. I don't. I just think that the cowboys always have talent, but I think Jerry Jones micromanaging that team and I'm sorry. No, I. Jerry Jones micromanaging that team is a problem.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Are you guys gonna watch the Netflix thing?

[Dale Hellistrator]

Oh, the.

[John Holmberg]

I got stage four cancer and I cured it with money. It was amazing. And also it's a circus down here and I think that's fun. I think it's fun. It's controversial.

[Dale Hellistrator]

We love.

[John Holmberg]

I'm an oil man. Yeah.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Are you gonna watch it?

[Dale Hellistrator]

No. Friends with Gary Hogaboo. I was talking to Gary Hogaboo we were out on Lake Grapevine. Me and Genie. Me and Genie.

[John Holmberg]

Genie and him get all their advice from Hoga.

[Dale Hellistrator]

We were on a pontoon tune boat.

[John Holmberg]

I hired him as my life coach. He's my hugaboom life coach. He's a good man.

[Dale Hellistrator]

You gotta do the facial.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

You gotta do it.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Listen to his podcast. Hoga Boom goes to dynamite.

[John Holmberg]

If you pull the face page, it automatically just comes a better jazz.

[Dale Hellistrator]

I'm just trying my best.

[Brady from HMS Crew]

The miracle drug, the PD1.

[Dale Hellistrator]

He loves PD1. Oh, he was. By the way, I great on land, man. I drink PE alive.

[John Holmberg]

That was amazing.

[Dale Hellistrator]

They're like, we got to make this guy cry. Just tell him he has to actually pay the cheerleaders. He just started crying. Guy spends $16 million. This guy spends $16 million on his hall of Fame. Literally on his hall of Fame party. The party for him afterwards. $16 million. And literally the cheerleaders are like, I can't. I can't.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

75 a game.

[John Holmberg]

Used to be. It's probably 120.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Yeah. Come on. It's got to go.

[Dale Hellistrator]

They were a franchise. People would come just for them.

[Brady from HMS Crew]

TV show.

[John Holmberg]

They're their own love bo. Own business.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

They're the only cheerleaders. And that's why they're making this big deal about these two boy cheerleaders in Minnesota.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And it's like, nobody goes to nobody. There's been no picketing and no marching to make sure that we have more boy cheerleaders. Fans of the NFL is not screamed.

[Dale Hellistrator]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You know what's missing here.

[Dale Hellistrator]

But all the fat guy, like, the fat guy cheerleaders. That. That. That whole group is. I love it. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We want that to be a thing.

[Dale Hellistrator]

That's a great one.

[John Holmberg]

The last thing I want to be reminded of while I'm drinking beer is that that he can dance better than I'll ever even dream of. And.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I don't want to be.

[Dale Hellistrator]

He's gonna take your wife. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That guy. Definitely.

[Dale Hellistrator]

You mentioned the Minnesota Vikings. I actually think the Minnesota Vikings are going to be fantastic. He is the truth. He is the truth.

[John Holmberg]

You got him going.

[Dale Hellistrator]

He is the truth. Oh, my God. 100. Yes. So we're hanging out with J.J. we're doing Adam Ray Rays, Dr. Phil Live in Minneapolis. We're hanging out with J.J. tJ Hawkinson and Harrison Phillips. Right. We're hanging out with these guys who's part of Wilson Phillips. Know that. Yeah. Things are going to go your way. So he and all Hawkinson and Phillips took us aside as we're talking to. And they're like this. I mean, obviously we love this guy. We love this guy. He's a Michigan guy. One national championship for us. And they're like, he's the truth.

[John Holmberg]

He's the real dude.

[Dale Hellistrator]

He is the guy.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Really.

[Dale Hellistrator]

All the players last year and so. So, I mean, this is how great JJ is. I. I'm like, dude, we were at the Rose bowl game. We saw that. Probably the best Michigan game we've ever seen in our lives. Michigan beating Alabama and overtime. Big, big moment. Rose Bullets where the team for the Big Ten.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Here we go.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Brady, I know it's been a while since you've been there, but he's national champion. J, show some respect to him. So he's a pantsless national champion. They can't. He couldn't put the gold pants on. Michigan beat him. And. And J.J. mcCarthy's like, I was like. I was there with my son. He's like, FaceTime him right now. I FaceTime my son. He's like in his bed. He's like, I don't know what. God knows what he's doing. He's getting shot on the back, shot on the front. And I'm like, hey, man, someone say hi to you? And I turn to JJ and he's like, hey, man, I heard you cheering in the stands. Thank you all. Your support meant the world to me. And I'm like, holy crap. He's like hyping up my son. I'm like, this guy is legit. He doesn't have to think about it. He's magnetic. People love him. He's got the talent. And Hawkinson is like, he's got the arm. Hawkinson's like, he's got the arm.

[John Holmberg]

To make the Vikings way beyond their.

[Dale Hellistrator]

I think they're going to be better than people thing.

[John Holmberg]

I think they're going to be good.

[Dale Hellistrator]

They did it with Sam Darnold last year and I think JJ's better than Sam Division.

[John Holmberg]

They're going to get pounced on.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Well, maybe.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Who by who?

[John Holmberg]

Detroit and Green.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

I think Detroit's going to take a step back.

[Dale Hellistrator]

I think they do too.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Without take a step back. Green Bay, who knows knows what the hell's going to.

[Dale Hellistrator]

We don't know what Green Bay is going to be and obviously what is the Bears. It's not going to be the Bears.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't it great football?

[Dale Hellistrator]

The fact that it's back in the air. Can you feel it?

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Did. Did you guys not see that they released the Emirates Cup, NBA schedule.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's awesome. That's crazy.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Yeah. And. And the Celtics are not on Christmas, nor are they playing. And they're like, not even playing. I mean, I think because Jason Tatum's out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Oh, that could be.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they took his knees out. Come on. Nobody wants to watch that team this year. I'm gonna. I got season tickets and I don't.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Want to go to the Suns. Yeah.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Rooms. You re up.

[John Holmberg]

I'll reopen that. That'll be.

[Dale Hellistrator]

I think you're actually playing.

[John Holmberg]

I actually. Yeah, no, I'm on the bench.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Tickets give you access to four games.

[John Holmberg]

So they said you're the 12th, man. I'm like, what's that mean? And I'm like, we have 12 players. You're our guy. I'm like, oh, my God.

[Brady from HMS Crew]

Literally two weeks, open tryouts.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistrator]

My favorite is you go to an NBA game and there's like a guy in the stands wearing jeans and a jersey with no shirt on underneath it. Like if. What are you expecting? Like if everyone got injured on the. On the court, coach would be like, hey, get that guy out there who just works out his upper body. Bring him down.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

The only thing worse than that is you go like the Cardinals game and say the Cardinals are playing the Seahawks and somebody wears a Bears jersey.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They wear a jersey of neither team.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Who are you and why do you. He's like, well, my friend invited me. I'm a Bears fan. I'm gonna check it out. I gotta let people. Thanks for letting us know.

[John Holmberg]

I was gonna let people know I was in the Sweets at a Diamondbacks game, cuz that's how I roll.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

And somebody had a glove. And I'm like, well, this was just a waste of everyone. Like, this isn't happening. Like, this is. You're gonna. So much more than a ball will be given to you.

[Dale Hellistrator]

You ruined it and you signed it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I did.

[Dale Hellistrator]

I picked that ball.

[Brady from HMS Crew]

I said, look, Michael Jackson, get out of here.

[John Holmberg]

I had a busload of children at a spring training game. Think I was. What was his name? Rick. Yeah, Rick James. I was there. I was doing an intervention.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Talk to my son about drugs.

[John Holmberg]

These little drug addict kids pulled up and like, I' no, they thought it was a pitcher for the Diamondbacks. So I signed baseballs. They were all gathered around. I'm like, okay, this is easy.

[Dale Hellistrator]

So this is kind of an old bit. It's been spoken of before, but I was at a baseball Cardinals game in St. Louis with my daughter a couple weeks ago. And we know the guy who does the in Stadium announcement. PA announcement. John Ulic John Dust Radio in St. Louisiana. Classic Morning Zoo. CAISHY 95. Great radio stations. So we go up and we start talking to him. But I in just talking to him, I forget that he also has to be doing the game. So I'm like, hey, man, what's going with you? He's like, I got this prostate thing. Hang on a second. Up for the Diamondbacks. Julio Garcia. And he's like. And it's causing this kind of. And he's showing the pain on his side. Hang on a second, Michael. I mean, he literally to the microphone. I'm missing a beat. Does not listen. No, but the best part is that the guy. So the organ is in that same area. Okay. In the same room as the guy was in. We're talking, and the guy says to my daughter, do you play piano? And. And my daughter's like, yeah, I've taken four years of lessons. And he's 11. Eleven. And he's like, come over. And he starts teaching her like a move on the organ. And she's like, is this going out there? And he's like, no, no, no. And then when she gets it right, he takes off her headphones and she plays a da da da da da charge to a whole stadium. Oh. I was like, you're 11. You performed in front of 21,000 people. We're only going to have 10,000 people at the Desert Ridge Improv this weekend.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

That's right.

[Dale Hellistrator]

He said you performed in front of 21,000 people. To which I then said, the Cardinals got 21,000.

[John Holmberg]

20,000 sold.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Who's in attendance here? Sold tickets. Not putting a great product. A lot of dead people. Take a break.

[John Holmberg]

The Sklar brothers are at Desert Ridge improv.com Dale's doing absolutely nothing with your time.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

I might crash. Crash.

[John Holmberg]

You go to the show.

[Dale Hellistrator]

It's a great show. You'll love it.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Square a lot.

[Dale Hellistrator]

No, not really. I mean, you see what we do.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Wrong with you act different here than you do there, don't you?

[Dale Hellistrator]

I mean.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

I mean, you get cleaned up a little bit. You take a shower, grown man. You take a shower.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Dale really wants me to get dolled up. You know why that get dialed up?

[John Holmberg]

This is the thing. He's. He's, he's attacking their manliness. And they're, you know, they're. You're, you're, you're.

[Dale Hellistrator]

You're going to love the show.

[John Holmberg]

The reason I'll tell you exactly what you're doing. You're telling him oh you guys going to be the reason he's asking if you cuss is cuz his wife won't let him go if you do.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Oh come on.

[John Holmberg]

That's.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

I want to bring my wife but she hates those.

[Dale Hellistrator]

I'm going to say don't bring your wife because there's going to be a thousand six year old eligible women and I say six or six you go home with 700 of them.

[John Holmberg]

Let me speak for the Sklar brothers. Don't be bring that.

[Dale Hellistrator]

Wow. Don't, don't.

[John Holmberg]

But I just had to throw it out there.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Is your wife free?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she'll go with you. She'd love to.

[Dale Hellistrator]

She loves us. She's seen us.

[John Holmberg]

She loves the Scar brothers and also loves a night guaranteed no sex. So it's perfect that you take her. We'll take a break. Sky Brothers and Dale Hellister are here this morning.

[Guest (likely Randy or Jason Sklar)]

Arizona's most powerful rock radio station.

[John Holmberg]

He said fully erect 98 can you.

[Brett Vesley]

We're here with Byron from M and P Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to M and P Guns?

[Byron from MMP Guns]

The choice is simple, Brett. M and P Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have ammo, ink, 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Byron from MMP Guns]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th and Indian School or online at M&P guns.com It's.

[Brady from HMS Crew]

Brady from the HMS crew for game Day Men's Health, the valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations. You should do what I did and schedule a complimentary appointment which is quick and easy. You'll meet with a board certified medical director and figure out what treatments that can help you. Whether you need more energy, medical, weight loss or sexual health treatments. Game Day Men's Health clinic is a true game changer. Go to gameday phoenix.com and schedule your complimentary appointment today. Get back in the game with Gameday.

[Brett Vesley]

Hey, it's Brett Vesley. Look, your AC's been working hard for you all summer long so give it some love with Patrick Riley. Heating, cooling, plumbing and drains. Right now you can get a 59H VAC system check, which includes a full equipment inspection, refrigerant level check and free electronic leak detection. And that's a 99 value. Need a new system.

[John Holmberg]

No problem.

[Brett Vesley]

Score 1500 dollars off right now. Hot and stuck. Well, they offer emergency same day service. And before you commit, get a free second opinion with no pressure. Go to Patrick Riley services dot com. That's Patrick Riley services dot com. Patrick R. Riley. One call does it all.