Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode Date: August 15, 2025

Episode Theme/Overview

This episode features John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, and Craig (Dick Toledo) riffing on the latest in sports and culture. The main theme revolves around the Minnesota Vikings highlighting their male cheerleaders, sparking a debate about the role of cheerleaders in pro sports. Side tangents touch on topics ranging from snack pancakes in MLB dugouts to the surreal prospect of a UFC event on the White House lawn and backyard pole vaulting pits. The crew’s trademark irreverence, sarcasm, and blunt honesty run throughout, offering listeners both laughs and sharp commentary on changing American sports culture.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Vikings and the Rise of Male Cheerleaders

Timestamp: 08:20 – 29:00

• Topic Introduction:
  The Vikings are spotlighting their new male cheerleaders, following a trend started by the Rams and other teams. John Holmberg is openly skeptical and critical of the move.

• Main Points:

  • John claims, “Not a single fan of football has ever looked at the cheerleaders and said, ‘You know what would be better? A couple guys out there.’” (09:00)
  • He argues this shift is more about chasing media attention and forced wokeness rather than genuine demand from fans or the LGBTQ community.
  • Discussion about why male cheerleaders were traditionally present (as “toters” in college, lifting female cheerleaders) versus today’s explicit integration into dance routines.
  • NA: The guys see this as a PR grab, likening it to other supposedly “progressive” changes in sports.
  • John’s solution: If you must have males, “don’t mingle them. … Let the cheerleaders be ladies, and then have a male cheer squad in a corner for the gays. Don’t mix them together. Double it, and for a quarter, let the ladies take off, and it’s just fellas out there. The laughter will bring these twinks to tears, I guarantee it.” (13:10)
  • The group ridicules the impact, with John comparing the storyline to being treated “like a Martin Luther King’s dream.” (22:00)
  • Ultimately, the consensus is football cheerleaders—regardless of gender—have become “pointless” to the pro game.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “This is just twinks they hired to be cheerleaders and that’s it.” – John Holmberg (09:10)
  • “Nobody’s ever re-upped their season tickets for the cheerleading squad.” – Craig (20:32)
  • “If they go away, does it cost us money? … Absolutely not.” – John (20:46)
  • “We’re not allowed to sexualize ‘em anymore, so what’s the point?” – John (13:55, summarized)

2. Broader Rant: Cheerleading, College Bands, and Useless Traditions

Timestamp: 16:56 – 34:00

• Cheerleading Philosophy:

  • John champions the “Pittsburgh way,” noting the Steelers never had cheerleaders and focusing strictly on football.
  • Craig adds, “How long ‘til it turns into a WNBA and they start throwing things on the field?” (17:53) highlighting the risk of inviting unwanted attention or mockery.

• College Marching Bands:

  • John rails against the tradition of college marching bands: “Have you ever bought tickets to a college marching band concert? No. … They shoehorn them into football so they can have scholarships.” (29:51)
  • The team jokes about the “difficulty” of spelling O-H-I-O, mocking the reverence for Script Ohio.

• Memorable Moments:

  • John's recurring line: “If you disappear and no one notices, you weren’t valuable.” (20:46)
  • The show’s running joke becomes suggesting the next step is “what about old people dancers, or kids?” (28:10)

3. Snack Pancakes and Midwestern Pocket Food

Timestamp: 38:03 – 45:30

• Pat Murphy’s Pocket Snacks:
  • John introduces the story of Pat Murphy, former ASU baseball coach (now Brewers manager), who keeps snacks like pancakes and waffles in his uniform pockets during games.
  • The group both marvels and recoils at the concept.
  • Brady: “He’s a man after my own heart.” (38:53)
  • John: “That’s called being homeless. If you see somebody in a nice suit pull food from his pocket, he’s either nuts, homeless, or both.” (41:49)
  • Jokes about turning this into a Midwestern trend, with ideas for edible clothes and fast food-embedded apparel.

4. UFC at the White House: Americana or White Trash?

Timestamp: 48:06 – 55:00

• UFC Coming to the White House Lawn:
  • UFC is planning a mega event for America’s 250th birthday, possibly on the South Lawn, with tickets rumored up to $100,000.
  • The hosts debate whether this is “white trash” or peak American spectacle.
  • John: “If you have a UFC ring in your backyard, devil of your neighborhood… But if it’s the White House, suddenly it’s classic.” (51:05)
  • The panel discusses parallels with other odd backyard sports setups, leading into discussion on pole vaulting.

5. Backyard Pole Vaulting and Miscellaneous Antics

Timestamp: 51:51 – 61:30

• Backyard Sports Oddities:

  • Brady tells a story of his Montana neighbors with a pole vaulting pit made with makeshift, hillbilly equipment.
  • The group questions how kids even get into pole vaulting, considering the lack of access to facilities and expensive gear.

• Tangents:

  • “Your dad doesn’t go, ‘Let’s go to the pole vaulting park!’...It doesn’t exist,” John quips. (58:19)
  • Series of jokes about transitioning from high jump to pole vault, or buying a $1,000 pole, leading to a bonanza of innuendo about “girls who work the pole” getting scholarships.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Male Cheerleaders:

  • “They’re not breaking any sort of glass ceiling… this is just twinks they hired to be cheerleaders.”—John Holmberg (09:10)
  • “If you’re going to do it, do it like Mean Machine. Get me a squad of Tracy Morgans—‘Give me a D!’”—Craig and John (13:12)
  • “It’s not that we hate gays. Dance your hearts out. Just don’t act like it’s a social movement!” —John (24:02)

• On Cheerleaders’ Relevance:

  • “Cheerleaders, I hate to break it to you—you do not matter. You never mattered.” —John (20:37)
  • “If you disappear and no one notices, you weren’t valuable.” —John (20:46)
  • “The only ones [that matter] are the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders; they’re their own company.” —John (21:05)

• On Pocket Food:

  • “Anytime I see someone reaching in their pocket and pulling out food—something’s wrong. That just means you’re really poor.” —John (46:01)

• On White House UFC:

  • “If you have a UFC ring in your backyard, you are the devil of your neighborhood… but if the White House does it, it’s suddenly Americana.” —John (51:05)

• On Backyard Pole Vaulting:

  • “This is a hillbillie’s fever dream! He saw it in the Olympics once, and built it.” —John (53:12)
  • “You can practice shot put with grapefruits, but where do you even get a pole vault pole?” —John (61:04)

Important Segments with Timestamps

• Vikings' Male Cheerleaders/Pro Cheerleading Rant: 08:20 – 29:00
• College Band and Cheerleading Traditions: 16:56 – 34:00
• Pat Murphy’s Pocket Pancakes: 38:03 – 45:30
• UFC on the White House Lawn: 48:06 – 55:00
• Backyard Pole Vaulting & Sports Antics: 51:51 – 61:30

Conclusion: Tone & Overall Take

The episode is a perfect blend of biting satire, classic morning radio banter, and genuine sports fandom. Holmberg and crew are unfiltered and unapologetic, successfully blending topical rants with unpredictable asides and running jokes. For listeners, the big takeaway is that many of America’s long-time sports traditions—cheerleaders, marching bands, or even summer backyard pole vaulting—are open for ridicule and re-examination, especially in a world saturated with “progress” for progress’ sake.

If you enjoy sports radio that doesn’t pull punches—and a crew that says what many fans are thinking—this episode hits the mark.