08-14-25 - Vikings Seem To Be Trying To Make Their Male Cheerleaders A Big Deal - Former ASU Coach Pat Murphy Keeps Snack Pancakes In His Shirt Managing The Brewers - UFC At The White House Sparks Discussion On Pole Vaulting

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode Date: August 15, 2025

Episode Theme/Overview

This episode features John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, and Craig (Dick Toledo) riffing on the latest in sports and culture. The main theme revolves around the Minnesota Vikings highlighting their male cheerleaders, sparking a debate about the role of cheerleaders in pro sports. Side tangents touch on topics ranging from snack pancakes in MLB dugouts to the surreal prospect of a UFC event on the White House lawn and backyard pole vaulting pits. The crew’s trademark irreverence, sarcasm, and blunt honesty run throughout, offering listeners both laughs and sharp commentary on changing American sports culture.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Vikings and the Rise of Male Cheerleaders

Timestamp: 08:20 – 29:00

• Topic Introduction:
  The Vikings are spotlighting their new male cheerleaders, following a trend started by the Rams and other teams. John Holmberg is openly skeptical and critical of the move.

• Main Points:

  • John claims, “Not a single fan of football has ever looked at the cheerleaders and said, ‘You know what would be better? A couple guys out there.’” (09:00)
  • He argues this shift is more about chasing media attention and forced wokeness rather than genuine demand from fans or the LGBTQ community.
  • Discussion about why male cheerleaders were traditionally present (as “toters” in college, lifting female cheerleaders) versus today’s explicit integration into dance routines.
  • NA: The guys see this as a PR grab, likening it to other supposedly “progressive” changes in sports.
  • John’s solution: If you must have males, “don’t mingle them. … Let the cheerleaders be ladies, and then have a male cheer squad in a corner for the gays. Don’t mix them together. Double it, and for a quarter, let the ladies take off, and it’s just fellas out there. The laughter will bring these twinks to tears, I guarantee it.” (13:10)
  • The group ridicules the impact, with John comparing the storyline to being treated “like a Martin Luther King’s dream.” (22:00)
  • Ultimately, the consensus is football cheerleaders—regardless of gender—have become “pointless” to the pro game.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “This is just twinks they hired to be cheerleaders and that’s it.” – John Holmberg (09:10)
  • “Nobody’s ever re-upped their season tickets for the cheerleading squad.” – Craig (20:32)
  • “If they go away, does it cost us money? … Absolutely not.” – John (20:46)
  • “We’re not allowed to sexualize ‘em anymore, so what’s the point?” – John (13:55, summarized)

2. Broader Rant: Cheerleading, College Bands, and Useless Traditions

Timestamp: 16:56 – 34:00

• Cheerleading Philosophy:

  • John champions the “Pittsburgh way,” noting the Steelers never had cheerleaders and focusing strictly on football.
  • Craig adds, “How long ‘til it turns into a WNBA and they start throwing things on the field?” (17:53) highlighting the risk of inviting unwanted attention or mockery.

• College Marching Bands:

  • John rails against the tradition of college marching bands: “Have you ever bought tickets to a college marching band concert? No. … They shoehorn them into football so they can have scholarships.” (29:51)
  • The team jokes about the “difficulty” of spelling O-H-I-O, mocking the reverence for Script Ohio.

• Memorable Moments:

  • John's recurring line: “If you disappear and no one notices, you weren’t valuable.” (20:46)
  • The show’s running joke becomes suggesting the next step is “what about old people dancers, or kids?” (28:10)

3. Snack Pancakes and Midwestern Pocket Food

Timestamp: 38:03 – 45:30

• Pat Murphy’s Pocket Snacks:
  • John introduces the story of Pat Murphy, former ASU baseball coach (now Brewers manager), who keeps snacks like pancakes and waffles in his uniform pockets during games.
  • The group both marvels and recoils at the concept.
  • Brady: “He’s a man after my own heart.” (38:53)
  • John: “That’s called being homeless. If you see somebody in a nice suit pull food from his pocket, he’s either nuts, homeless, or both.” (41:49)
  • Jokes about turning this into a Midwestern trend, with ideas for edible clothes and fast food-embedded apparel.

4. UFC at the White House: Americana or White Trash?

Timestamp: 48:06 – 55:00

• UFC Coming to the White House Lawn:
  • UFC is planning a mega event for America’s 250th birthday, possibly on the South Lawn, with tickets rumored up to $100,000.
  • The hosts debate whether this is “white trash” or peak American spectacle.
  • John: “If you have a UFC ring in your backyard, devil of your neighborhood… But if it’s the White House, suddenly it’s classic.” (51:05)
  • The panel discusses parallels with other odd backyard sports setups, leading into discussion on pole vaulting.

5. Backyard Pole Vaulting and Miscellaneous Antics

Timestamp: 51:51 – 61:30

• Backyard Sports Oddities:

  • Brady tells a story of his Montana neighbors with a pole vaulting pit made with makeshift, hillbilly equipment.
  • The group questions how kids even get into pole vaulting, considering the lack of access to facilities and expensive gear.

• Tangents:

  • “Your dad doesn’t go, ‘Let’s go to the pole vaulting park!’...It doesn’t exist,” John quips. (58:19)
  • Series of jokes about transitioning from high jump to pole vault, or buying a $1,000 pole, leading to a bonanza of innuendo about “girls who work the pole” getting scholarships.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Male Cheerleaders:

  • “They’re not breaking any sort of glass ceiling… this is just twinks they hired to be cheerleaders.”—John Holmberg (09:10)
  • “If you’re going to do it, do it like Mean Machine. Get me a squad of Tracy Morgans—‘Give me a D!’”—Craig and John (13:12)
  • “It’s not that we hate gays. Dance your hearts out. Just don’t act like it’s a social movement!” —John (24:02)

• On Cheerleaders’ Relevance:

  • “Cheerleaders, I hate to break it to you—you do not matter. You never mattered.” —John (20:37)
  • “If you disappear and no one notices, you weren’t valuable.” —John (20:46)
  • “The only ones [that matter] are the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders; they’re their own company.” —John (21:05)

• On Pocket Food:

  • “Anytime I see someone reaching in their pocket and pulling out food—something’s wrong. That just means you’re really poor.” —John (46:01)

• On White House UFC:

  • “If you have a UFC ring in your backyard, you are the devil of your neighborhood… but if the White House does it, it’s suddenly Americana.” —John (51:05)

• On Backyard Pole Vaulting:

  • “This is a hillbillie’s fever dream! He saw it in the Olympics once, and built it.” —John (53:12)
  • “You can practice shot put with grapefruits, but where do you even get a pole vault pole?” —John (61:04)

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Important Segments with Timestamps

• Vikings' Male Cheerleaders/Pro Cheerleading Rant: 08:20 – 29:00
• College Band and Cheerleading Traditions: 16:56 – 34:00
• Pat Murphy’s Pocket Pancakes: 38:03 – 45:30
• UFC on the White House Lawn: 48:06 – 55:00
• Backyard Pole Vaulting & Sports Antics: 51:51 – 61:30

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Conclusion: Tone & Overall Take

The episode is a perfect blend of biting satire, classic morning radio banter, and genuine sports fandom. Holmberg and crew are unfiltered and unapologetic, successfully blending topical rants with unpredictable asides and running jokes. For listeners, the big takeaway is that many of America’s long-time sports traditions—cheerleaders, marching bands, or even summer backyard pole vaulting—are open for ridicule and re-examination, especially in a world saturated with “progress” for progress’ sake.

If you enjoy sports radio that doesn’t pull punches—and a crew that says what many fans are thinking—this episode hits the mark.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[Brady]

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[John Holmberg]

Hey everybody, it's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time once again for the Pick of the litter, brought to you by our friends at Turf Monsters a dot com. This week's Pick the Litter is a special little guy surrendered by his family because financial woes made it so they just could not give little manufacturer a great life. A little bit older. It's a Bichon poodle mix. Smart as a whip. Check it all out. Lost our home.org or 98kupd.com it's the pick of the litter.

[Craig]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my.

[John Holmberg]

Friend Wayne from AMCO.

[Craig]

Let's talk about back to school TLC for your car.

[John Holmberg]

Larry, the last thing anyone needs right now is to start the school year with car troubles. Yeah, makes sense.

[Craig]

What should people do?

[John Holmberg]

Head to your closest amco. We specialize in back to school auto repairs for the busy school season. Plus we have a back to school discount for students and teachers. Yeah, but do you need to make an appointment? Not at all. Just pop into your nearest Amco or book online now that's convenient.

[Craig]

Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A MCO transmissions and.

[John Holmberg]

A whole lot more. And remember, Amco proudly supports Operation Hydrations. Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com Alrighty there. It's miles to nowhere getting you through Thursday morning already. Geez, Louis, please. It's flying by. And here's something that I think we can all as as a group of Before I get to that, I want to say my pool, my trying to learn how to play pool thing. And I've been asking like I need somebody who's good at It. And that Carrie lady emailed, and she said her husband would help. He's really good, but she volunteered him. And he's got two planes. And I really started to think these are people I should be friends with. And then her husband's like, no. Like, he doesn't listen to the show. He does his. He's flying around too much. And so she listens all the time. And he's like, I'm not doing that. I don't want to meet a new friend. Don't. Don't do that. He's like, us. Yeah, exactly. And that's why I said, I think your husband and I would get along great. That's the crazy. I would say the exact same thing he said. So she starts telling me. She goes, my husband doesn't want to do it. And she goes, but here's what you got to do. And she starts breaking down, like, things about pool that she knows you just stanch or wing your elbow. You do this. And I'm like, wait a minute, what about you? Like, you sound like you know what you're talking about. She fires back. And Brett, you're going to appreciate that. She goes, all right, I would, but I'm abroad. So.

[Brady]

I was just going to say.

[John Holmberg]

That I was like, that's good. You're going to take lessons from abroad. I'm going to take pool lessons from abroad. Says, I'm sure your on air personality closely resembles your real one. And after listening to you for years, I'm pretty sure neither of your personalities are keen on relying on an unwashed person for anything you find worthwhile. Get some of your friends together. Host a class taught by actual instructor. Instructors. You'd learn more doing that than you ever would from whatever pud rucker. I like that. Who's able to convince you he's safe, but has actually just been itching to tell you about his favorite butt plug. You know I'm right. Don't subject yourself to these peasants, John. I'm not saying all of them are bad, but there are some who would definitely be questionable. And questionable it's not enough. Tactical. Black taught you that the general public is a frightening public indeed. She's right. Stop being cheap Jewish. Hire somebody.

[Brett Vesely]

I like this broad.

[John Holmberg]

I do too. Google Billiard University. I'm sure they could get you in a private class at your house or alone with your friends. That's a good idea. She says, by the way, I've been trying to make the word broad popular since I moved here in 2002. Brett using it Is proof that what I've done is working. Not all women are broads, But I tell you what, all broads are most definitely women. There you go, Kerry. Everybody in this room loves you. You're great.

[Brett Vesely]

That guy's a lucky guy to have her. Yeah, you know, I mean, wonder she got often I say that, but guy's lucky.

[John Holmberg]

Why she married a guy with a couple of planes that well. Yeah, that's not so bad. And it's because of her attitude. She knows. She knows her place. I'd teach you, but I'm abroad, so.

[Craig]

Her husband.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Craig]

What are you doing?

[John Holmberg]

What are you doing? Telling people I'll come over? No, I don't know this guy. And he was right. That's the answer I would have given you. Don't volunteer me. But I did ask. She's right. Stop. And that's the answer. Now stop being a Jew. Hire a guy like I do with, like, my stance on food trucks and restaurants and things. You hire someone from a company, so if it goes sideways, you can at least sue the company. You got somebody to go after. Some random schmo comes by and starts clubbing you with a pool cue. It's like, well, I asked for this. That aside. Thank you, Carrie. That was very nice. You're a good broad. She's a good broad, Brett. There you go. Good broads. Thanks, toots. All right, now that we've heard from Sweet, let's get to. Let's get on with the show. Brett's heading out today, and he's going to leave soon. Yeah, yeah. You got to go to Signal Butin.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, that's the brain. I'm right in the hood here.

[John Holmberg]

They're on the same day you were right down the road, 48th street in Indian school.

[Brett Vesely]

If you remember last year, this is the one where Kristen went to Goodyear instead.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Is she doing it again? I don't. I hope so. Me, too. I hope that she fails.

[Brett Vesely]

I literally sat there for two hours drinking coffee, looking at Arcadia moms walking in and out.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good, safe way. Yeah. Oh, it is. They hop up early. They take those kids over to that. That elementary school that no kid's allowed to walk at. They're all floating around with moms picking them. I think. I think their moms actually come and pick them up for recess and drive them around. I don't think those kids ever touch.

[Craig]

The ground bitching about the driveline. Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

They don't about it. They love it because it's Better than the option of their child ever walking anywhere. That elementary school is. That's got to be the house of the laziest. You know what? I'll never. I make the prediction. No professional athlete ever comes from that elementary school because They've spent age 5 to age 12 never walking anywhere, ever. That Arcadia Elementary. Is that Kiva? I don't remember which one it is. I used to live over there, and I was blown away at how happy people were to go pick their kids up a quarter mile away. I'm like, he lives. I can see the school from here, so I gotta go pick him up. Why? Somebody's gonna kidnap him. And they get human. I'm like, I've seen your fat little kid. They're not picking that thing up. That's. Your kids are too fat to pick.

[Brett Vesely]

Up nothing but Escalades and Range Rovers with hot moms over there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The last thing a child abductor wants to do is go out and buy a weight belt to try to get your kid off the ground. He's not doing it. It's bad for his back. It's those skinny hot ones that get kidnapped. You're not. Don't worry about it. Chunks McGee needs to walk it off, get him a fudgical, and have him fatten up and walk a little bit at the same time. And that way he's. You know. Your kids aren't abduction worthy. I see most of them. Trust me, nobody's eyeballing your kid like you think. But those Arcadia moms, they're getting eyeballed. Oh, yeah. Big way. And then they shoot over to Little O's next to Oso and have their breakfast because they don't have jobs wearing their Lululemons. And we're talking about their next charity event that they're on the board. So. That's an awesome safety.

[Brett Vesely]

Big ball.

[John Holmberg]

Got a big ball. They got something putting together. They're doing it over on their house on Exeter, and it's going to be amazing. 48th street in Indian School. That's where you go and you eyeball those Arcadia moms. Oh, yeah. That's the good stuff. That's real money over there, too. Those people are. That's no joke. 48th street in Indian School. Get the water out. Get Brady. Get. Not Brady. Let's not save Brady there. Get Brett. All taken care of. He's got falling in reverse tickets a day to remember. You're going to help people out. Yeah, you're right. Down the road. You're fine. You can stick around. Leave at the last second. It's enough already. I think I'm going to speak for everybody in the world. Enough. Enough. Enough with the mother. Minnesota Vikings. Male cheerleaders. That's enough. That is enough. They are not groundbreaking. They're not breaking any sort of glass ceiling that men have been trying to achieve. This is just twinks they hired to be cheerleaders and that's it. There's nothing more to this. That's fine if you want it. But no fan of football. I'm going to say it out loud. Not a single fan of football has ever looked at the cheerleaders and said be better if there's a couple guys out there. This is appealing to no one. This is. Gays can enjoy it if they want to, but there aren't enough of them to necessitate gay male cheerleaders. Unless it's like in college when they're toting around the girls, when they actually have a purpose. These dudes are dancing the same cheer routines as the girls are. And because everybody's afraid to say no one wants it, by the way, it's Hopi Elementary. You're right. Thank you, Craig. And no one wants it, then they're gonna keep doing it. The Rams started this a couple years ago and everybody looked past it cuz it was LA Minnesota, which people think is the heartland, which it's not. It's a wildly woke, liberal crazy town is throwing gays up there to do the skull dance. Nobody wants this.

[Brett Vesely]

You know, Mark did this in the early 80s with the Broncos. So this isn't groundbreaking at all.

[John Holmberg]

No one. And they're, they're. And I'm fine with it. I don't care that there's male cheerleaders. I don't care that there's cheerleader. I happen to watch football for football. And I also know with pornhub now, when I had Cardinal season tickets, I used to take binoculars. I had good seats on the 40 yard line, upper deck, first row. It was great seats actually. It was like excellent. But I would bring binoculars to look at the cheerleaders asses because there was no pornhub. This was an, this was a strange environment. So on off times I would. And they, the Cardinal cheerleaders used to have their pants used to crawl up and by the third quarter, second quarter, a lot of times they were in thongs. And that wasn't common then, but now I know for a fact the NFL is not going to put these girls in sexy outfits. Not sexy enough. They're basically old school Lingerie, like big granny panties and, you know, pantyhose and skirts that cover everything and big shirts. It's not hot. The cheerleaders are pointless. I was at the Raiders game last year when the Steelers played the Raiders and the Raiderettes even are pretty, but they're pageant girls. They're just. Move. Move out of the way. You're in the way. I can't see. Mike Tomlin, we're football fans. We're not there for you at this point. So the cheerleaders could go away altogether.

[Craig]

Do you think they'll get more coverage? The Vikings?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, of course. They're already getting it.

[Craig]

It's all over the news when the season starts.

[John Holmberg]

No, because nobody really cares about the cheer squad.

[Craig]

Every once in a while they go down and show the cheer squad now.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Craig]

What about your experience that you had with the Suns?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, I'm not. Brady. I'm not saying they're not possibly going to be really good at it. I'm saying there's no call for it. There's no reason. No football fans go to that stuff. We laugh at the cheerleaders for the Suns. And then we noticed that the one gay guy was the best dancer I may ever have seen in my life. That was different. Since then. They're hilarious again. It's just girls who are unafraid to, like, too scared to be strippers. They want to dance like strippers, but they want respect at the same time. It's just not going to happen. The cheerleading thing in professional sports is hilarious. Unless you're Cowboys or Raiders. It's hysterical. Like, you're just sad. The Dolphins have a couple of outfits and stuff, but for the most part, your pageant girls who won't let go, adding guys to the mix. They're trying to act like this is some sort of societal moment, cutting edge. It's not. It's terribly stupid. And it's time we just eliminate it. I say, I personally think eliminating the choose cheerleaders from football in the pros is if you're. Because there's too much sexy in the world, they're up against it. They don't have. They can't. They got no weapons. You got pornhub. You got. Every girl at the beach wears a thong now. Like, you know, it's normal. Tmz, for crying out loud, is more salacious than say, it's not getting the pop that. Well, you're also not allowed to act like it's sexy. There's too many eggshells. You got to walk around Right. If you start talking about how hot the cheerleaders are off these two, you know, start talking about how hot the cheerleaders are, you sexualize them, and suddenly the NFL's gotta be like, it's not why the women are there. They're talented dancers. I'm like, okay, there's too many eggshells. At least girls on the beach flashing their ass know that they're there to flash their ass. These girls are, like, trying to get credit for being dancers. And now there's two dudes in Minnesota that. I mean, it's a twink festival. And they may be incredibly talented female cheerleaders. These guys might actually be. Exactly. But they're. Look, that's the reaction. Just because gays infiltrated something doesn't mean it's groundbreaking. Sometimes it's annoying.

[Craig]

Can we at least go full mean machine? Get a squad.

[John Holmberg]

My solution.

[Craig]

Tracy Morgan, head.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Look, if you're going to do it, like the longest, give me a D. Give me. Yeah. All I want is a D. I'm fine with it. Here's what I say you do. Don't. Don't mingle them much. Like, we're trying to have no men and women sports. Let the ladies have this. Let the cheerleaders be ladies and then have a male cheer squad of just all dudes over in a corner for the gays. Don't mix them together. Double it. Don't mix them. The ladies are the ladies and the men are the two squads, right? Two squads. And then for a quarter. And I'll tell you exactly what's going to happen. For a quarter of the football game, the ladies take off, and it's all fellas cheering out there. The laughter will bring these Twinks to tears, I guarantee it. Because it's funny.

[Craig]

It'll get competitive.

[John Holmberg]

It's funny. Like, a guy in a dress will always be funny. To me. A dude doing cheerleading dances is funny to 90% of men. We do not find it entertaining. And when we do, it's because it has to be extraordinary. It's still funny. It's still hilarious. But these two dudes are on news, and it's like, how do you feel about being these types of pioneers? Lewis and Clark and these guys are in the same. We're defining them the same way. It's just amazing what we can do. Like, yeah, you're a good dancer. Now do what you do with dancing. Take it to a gay club and, you know, start blowing dudes with it. That's why you learned to dance. Go to Broadway. It's chock full of you guys. But putting it on a football field. And I'm not saying that it's because I want to be bigoted towards that. I'm saying it because I'm speaking for the masses. And this is going to end weird. Somebody's going to say something they shouldn't say. The NFL is going to be like, all right, stop calling our male cheerleaders. We've had it. Any fan that calls a male cheerleader will be removed from the thing. And then you're like, all right, so now we got to get them off the field. Don't invite the problem. Holberg's morning sickness. Holberg's morning sickness. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd have just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house, cash as is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1-800-Sale Now.

[Brett Vesely]

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[Byron]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[Byron]

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[Craig]

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[John Holmberg]

Day Men's health, Holmberg's morning sickness and I've said it for years, get the ladies off the field. They're no longer. We can't sexualize them and we don't care about them. They don't add to the game. They cheer when the team's down. They don't even know when. They're like, they're just dancing out there for no reason. Get them off sidelines. As a true fan of football, a Pittsburgh Steelers fan, one thing the Rooneys have never done, and it has a lot to do with the fact that the Pittsburgh audition would be brutal. They've never put cheerleaders on the field. Never done it.

[Brett Vesely]

Steelers have an app.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, really? Never ever. There's, it's twofold Open auditions for Pittsburgh Steelers cheerleaders would cause an earthquake on the east coast. Second, they're like, you're here to watch that. You don't need extra. That black and gold thing that's going on in the middle of the field is why you're here. We don't need to entertain you on the side.

[Brett Vesely]

How long till it turns into a WNBA and they start throwing things on the field?

[John Holmberg]

Well, Brett, you're making my point for me. You're inviting Jack Asery and oh, by the way, NFL. Quit acting like we're supposed to behave ourselves when every advertisement in your stadium is beer, you want us to get a little bit drunk and behave? Meanwhile, warriors on the field that get our emotions going more than the love of children and please behave. Oh, by the way, here's a couple of twinks dancing for you. Don't say anything about it. It's like, oh no, you guys are trying to make us get kicked out. And these two, one of them was crying on the news the other day, like, who asked for that? That's my point. I don't even know that gays have been screaming and yelling that they wanted to be on the cheer squad. Have they? Has that been a big movie?

[Craig]

Maybe a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe. But nobody's listening because they're like, nope, no, no. Start your own cheer squad. Like what we say to women all the time. You like golfing, you like Augusta. We don't want you on There, Go build your own course. There goes Brett. Quit trying to. You know, they pick it. They stood outside of the masters, but we want to play. And I'm like, we don't want you. We want to play. But no. And then pressure happened. I'm like, all right, ladies can play instead of building their own. Same with gay cheerleaders. Go ahead, have your own cheer squad. It's hysterical. Or be like, college male cheerleaders kind of strapping young lads in a pair of pants and a sweater, lifting up broads by their buttholes. I think that makes everybody go, that's something. What would you think if they started that in Ohio State? Brady and all the guy cheerleaders were like, we're not going to lift the girls up anymore. We're going to dance with them.

[Craig]

They just dance.

[John Holmberg]

It's weird. And it's not weird because it's not progressive. And you can get mad at me and say, why can't they? I'm not saying they can't.

[Craig]

Stuff is sometimes pretty impressive, sometimes amazing.

[John Holmberg]

Sometimes what they're doing on a. On a college football field is like, wow, they're chucking those chicks all over the place. And normally it's because Ohio State is leading Fresno Junior College 77 to nothing. You're like, what else is there to do here? I already knew this was going to happen. It's week three, right? But for the first few weeks, what else is going on around here?

[Craig]

I mean, if that. Even if the cheerleading went away in.

[John Holmberg]

In college, nobody would care. The cheerleader, probably not, because it's a scholarship. It's a. It's a cheap scholarship. No one would care if cheerleading went away. Do you think that you'd see any difference in sales at Ohio State? We're eliminating the cheer squad. People like, oh, it's part of the tradition.

[Craig]

I'm not. I'm not re. Upping my season.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not re. Upping my season tickets until you bring this.

[Craig]

I don't think it would.

[John Holmberg]

Not a soul.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Cheerleaders. I hate to break it to you. You do not matter. You've never mattered.

[Craig]

There's a little enhancement to the college football experience.

[John Holmberg]

Nope. If they're gone, it doesn't matter. And that's the quintessential. That's the litmus test for whether or not you're actually useful. If you disappear, it's. It's business Model one. If that guy goes away, do we lose anything? Nope. Get rid of him. Save time, save money, save energy, save bus rides, save planes, Save Tickets. If they go away, does it. Does it cost us money? And the answer is no, absolutely not. The only ones are the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders because they still move calendars and they sell stuff and they show show up at events. And actually, there's a few that. The Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders are their own company. That's a thing. Raiders. Raiders, to a certain degree. But this Minnesota thing, and I know why they're doing it. And this is the other thing. It's like the wnba. The WNBA is the least feminist thing that's ever happened to the feminist movement. This is the least LGBTQ positive thing. They're using the gays to get attention for the Minnesota Vikings cheerleaders, which never got attention before. So it's basically, let's use these gays. We don't really care about their movement, but let's make a little hay off of this real quick. So these cheerleaders that are flying around and doing stuff in the city that we pay for, let's get our money back. But it isn't a thing.

[Craig]

Instead, those fans are getting Skull left.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. There's no guy. Yeah, you're right. They're, like, slapping his hands. Skull. Skull. I'm so glad the cheerleaders are Skull. He doesn't care. He doesn't care at all. He just wants J.J. mcCarthy to be good, that's all. He'd be gay with J.J. mcCarthy before those cheerleaders, male cheerleaders. And they're acting like it's some sort of a Martin Luther King's dream. Knock it off.

[Craig]

I need to prepare you this year. I want to apologize up front for college football. Not that you're going to watch, but every now and then, you.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tune in, see what's going on.

[Craig]

The athletic director at High State decided because you. You talk about Hanging on Sloopy.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. The band's going.

[Craig]

It's only played one time.

[John Holmberg]

It's too many.

[Craig]

It's the beginning of the fourth quarter.

[John Holmberg]

I don't care. Right? It's.

[Craig]

He said he wants to stop that.

[John Holmberg]

Tradition of Hang On Sloopy or the band. Oh, please say the band.

[Craig]

No. Hey, I thought just the one song. He's like, hang On, Sloopy. I don't want to do play to the beginning of the fourth quarter. I want you to play it more in key moments.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, great.

[Craig]

But the I State fans are like, this is a tradition. Hang On Sloopy's good. The one time. That's it.

[John Holmberg]

It's not, though. It's fourth quarter. It's never good. No. No song now pounded no song that plays.

[Craig]

I don't know how it's gonna work out.

[John Holmberg]

I do. It's gonna sound just like all the other times they tootle. All I hear is Hang on Sloopy. It all sounds. Doesn't matter. It all sounds exactly the same the second that band starts tootling and ruining the sport. I hate the bands too. This guy says, if they don't matter, why throw a fuss about it? Because they're starting to throw a fuss. It didn't before. I've never thrown a fuss about cheerleaders before. Go out there, do their thing. But the fact that they're acting like this is some. So Jesse asked me that. The fact that they're acting like this is some sort of social progression.

[Craig]

That's what I thought when I first saw it. I'm like, what this? They've had male cheerleaders.

[John Holmberg]

12 teams have male cheerleaders. Stop acting like something good happened here. Nobody cares. It's not like social progress is not gay cheerleaders. It's just not. But they make it so you have to be careful talking about it because like, oh, he hates all gays. That's not true. Dance your hearts out. But what I'm complaining about isn't that there's gay cheerleaders. I'm complaining that they're trying to make it seem like it's a thing I see down the road. I am an oracle, Jesse. I see things in the future. Drunk football fans, gay twink cheerleaders. There's gonna be a clash of some sort that's gonna create a fuss where somebody says something terrible. It'll either cause a fight in the stands or it'll cause some sort of a guy to get kicked out of the game or there'll be fines or something else. And it's gonna make people cry and we're gonna have some big to do about how homophobia runs rampant with the NFL fan. And it isn't that it's gaslighting. Here's some gay cheerleaders. What do you football fans think of this? Am I allowed to say what I really think? No, I'm fine with it. But there's going to be jokes, it's going to be drinking. There's going to be somebody that goes there, those gay cheerleaders. And somebody will say something stupid. It's football. It's not basketball. Basketball is different. Basketball doesn't like. Nobody's like, we like, like the in game entertainment is hilarious all the time. Football doesn't need it.

[Brady]

When Paul Allen bought Seahawks and he put season tickets on sale, they made the Seagals visit like every section.

[John Holmberg]

See, right there. It's sexist. I mean, they try to act like this is some sort of a movement. It's all bad.

[Craig]

Yeah, I didn't know that.

[Brady]

So they made the Seagulls visit every section at a certain point during the game. And so you would look forward to, hey, here comes the Seagulls. And you get your pictures, you do whatever you need. What do you do? And the game's going on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

But people are like, all right, time. Well, team was crap then too.

[John Holmberg]

But, you know, oh, and you're looking for something else to do if you got some girls want her. But look, you got pornhub now. They're not. And you're not allowed to sexualize it.

[Brady]

My point was, I don't see the dude cheerleader team coming through in a situation like that, stopping down the game, going, hey, here comes the sea guys.

[John Holmberg]

It's 34. Well, he's still a sea gal and 34 to 7. And now, you know, Kevin and Trevor are the guys you're taking pictures with your kids with. It's going to. It's a stir waiting to happen. All I'm saying is you're asking for it.

[Craig]

Did you see a Seahawk get caught in the net?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What. What grocery store in Seattle is going to be like, hey, come visit Kevin and Trevor, the from the cheer squad at 7 o'? Clock? It's not going to happen.

[Brady]

Well, it'd be Whole Foods, because Amazon owns Whole Foods.

[John Holmberg]

I don't care. I'm making my point being who's showing up to this?

[Brady]

It's Seattle, John.

[John Holmberg]

They're not showing up for the two gay cheerleaders.

[Brady]

No, they're not at all.

[John Holmberg]

Giant Eagle and Capitol Hill. They will happening maybe. Yeah, you got to pick and choose.

[Craig]

It's gotta be a smack in the face for San Francisco fans.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. How have they missed the boat on purpose? Yeah, that same thing. But how in the world have they missed the boat on this? How have they not had an all gay male cheerleading squad?

[Brady]

Some would argue it's on the field.

[John Holmberg]

Seahawks fans Speaking at the 49ers are all homosexual. And that is what I'm talking about. Football fans say your team's gay. I said it yesterday. I had my Steelers shirt on a tactical black. And Tony, one of the trainers up there is a cowboy fan. And he goes, oh, gay. Immediately, that was the thing. I'm like, not gay. I said, I'm not the one who runs around and says, I love Cowboys. Okay, strong point, Strong point. And we went back and forth on who's gayer but who we liked. Now you add, like, real gay to that, somebody's gonna lose their job. Guy can't even hug the HR lady. The Coldplay show, he loses. CEO. You think you could call one of those guys in the male cheerleaders a name they don't like? You're not gonna lose your gig. And they're gonna get called out on social media because you got drunk and started to say weird stuff to the gay cheerleader. Hold on.

[Brady]

Toledo's team has the Seagals and the Seamen.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the Seamen are now part of it. I think the Bengals girls are the Bengals. And they're all transvestites. They used to be. They used to be girls, but they're now men. See, that's what you do to guys. So you don't like their team. The Ben gals used to be gals. Now it's just a bunch of trannies. Skull. Skull. That guy's got a nice ass. Skull. And you're just asking for it because Green Bay doesn't have. And Chicago doesn't have packers, and that's all. And the Lions don't have. So now the Vikings, you know, you go up to Minnesota and it's like, oh, well, enjoy your gay cheerleaders. Yeah, all of Seattle probably does show up for the male cheerleaders, though. It's kind of a town that would do that. Either way, they're on. My point is, putting it on the news and making it this big. Social advancement is ridiculous. And so people like me can say, enough of the cheerleaders. That's it. If we're not allowed to sexualize them, we're not allowed to do that. And now it's going to be dudes, too. Just eliminate it. That's silly. Because next thing is, what. What about age? What about, like, kids? What about old people? Like, why aren't we just, you know, if it's all about the dancing skills, there's plenty of good old people. Dancers, like, 50 plus, they would never put them out there. But we're not. They're supposed to be pretty and sexy, but we're not supposed to say so. Stop it. You get all those Broadway guys out there, they put a hell of a show on sidelines of a Giants game.

[Brady]

John, I've been living in Minnesota for the past almost seven years, and I've never heard a guy say they care about the Vikings. Cheerleaders. I just asked four people right here at work if they care and they all said no. They want football, not those Midwestern frozen brain second string dancers.

[John Holmberg]

Eggs. Thank. Thank you. Thank you. I'm calling for the elimination of cheerleading in the NFL ranks. I've been screaming about getting rid of bands in college football, but for some reason, people think that's something. There is nothing worse. And I've made my point and no one's ever argued it. Have you ever bought tickets to a college marching band concert? No. The reason that they shoehorn them into football is so they can still have music scholarships and give them something to do. Because if they had their own concerts, not a soul would show up. They think they're part of it. It's dangerous. Just get rid of them and people. You know What? You'd have 400 new seats to sell. But it's part of the tradition. Have a march out at halftime in spell Ohio. It's a four letter word. Not that impressive. Buckeyes. Morning sickness. Morning sickness.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, Byron. I was [e-mail]'s website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.

[Byron]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[Byron]

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[Brett Vesely]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to mmpguns.com.

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS podcast time again. It'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week.

[Brett Vesely]

Lots of entertainment coming to town with.

[John Holmberg]

Vinny Guadagnino of Jersey Shore fame. Coming in Friday and Saturday to stand up live at the Desert Ridge Improv. Up north, you have the Sklar Brothers. Thursday, Friday and Saturday and Eastside at the Tempe Improv. It's Steve O. Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com It's John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the Core. He's not Going to be back on the court immediately. But in a few months time, he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain you've been living with. The core Institute's celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do again. Go to the Core Institute.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Craig]

That's what I'm saying. The beginning of the game. Awesome opening.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Craig]

They're doing script Ohio before the game.

[John Holmberg]

Good. Script Ohio is the most overrated thing in the history of sports.

[Brady]

It really is.

[John Holmberg]

It's four letters. Four letters?

[Craig]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

People were. You were crying. I watched you. We had a thing on a opener.

[Craig]

And they come out in the drum line.

[John Holmberg]

People cried. Nobody even knows them. Like, all right. I guess there's something here where these people are brainwashed into believing that spelling Ohio was hard. I got 500 people. We need to spell the word Ohio. I'm like, I can do it. Have you ever done it before? No, but I know I can do this. Two of the letters are the same and they're the easiest letter to make.

[Brady]

You don't know the pattern.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, give me 10 minutes. I'm gonna ice this. You think you can get 500 people to spell the word Ohio on a football field? You've never done it before? Are you out of your mind? Yeah, I can do it. It's not like I'm trying to spell Washington.

[Craig]

And we can do it with four crews.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Craig]

Four Ohio's. They'll do the.

[John Holmberg]

Huh?

[Craig]

They'll do Ohio in each end zone and Ohio on each sidelines.

[Brady]

That's even more.

[John Holmberg]

Man. Wow. That's spelling a four letter word multiple times. What a college. What a college. You know, they should spell another four letter word there. Rape. Because they're prolific at it. Go Buckeyes. Yeah. That's a huge thing. Yeah, that's got to go too. That. That. Especially in basketball. You get in those small arenas and that band starts tootling away. It's nightmare.

[Brady]

SPE listeners are asking if you've been aware that the 2025, 2026 Suns cheerleading squad has been announced. There's Nate and Phil. Are either one of these the guy that you.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. Hard Times moved on to Broadway.

[Brady]

Oh, nice.

[John Holmberg]

Hard Times was so good at it. He Got discovered and moved on to be a real dancer.

[Brady]

Just hearing you talk about him, I'd go see his Broadway show.

[John Holmberg]

Hard Times was amazing. There's certain people who do something, you're like, all right, he's not gonna last much longer because this is way beneath him. Cheering for the Suns and all that. And then, you know, and they just do pole dancing and then say, don't sexualize us. And their asses are in the air and they're. There was a move they made last year at a Suns game where the girls would run their hands to their hair, bend over straight legged and give their buttholes a tap and then slide their hands up their butts. And I'm like, did they just butthole tap and crack slide but don't sexualize it.

[Craig]

But solid move.

[John Holmberg]

It was a solid move. But I'm like, if this is what we're doing, I should be able to, you know, scream out. I want to know like we should. If you're putting it out there that way. Anyway, I saw it on cnn, I saw it on fox, I saw it on the Internet. I said multiple times on the Internet. NFL breaks boundaries barriers now 12 teams now have male cheerleaders.

[Brady]

John. At Texas A and M, the males are called yell leaders.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's good. Those dudes have bullhorns. Go, alright, watch this. I'm gonna throw this spinner up in the air. I'm gonna catch her. Do you dance? No, I don't dance. I'm straight.

[Brady]

I'm in a sweater. At Texas A and M, I wear.

[John Holmberg]

A sweater and pants and I throw girls for a living. I'm a chick chucker and I got a scholarship for it. I get to put my thumb in every hot girl's butt at Texas A and M questions. You should be president someday. But the dude who's out there learning the. The straight leg bend. Oh, that's the weird thing is when you see the gay cheerleaders and the straight legged bend over and then they reach back and do the butthole tap, crack slide. You're like, oh God.

[Craig]

Takes it to a new level.

[John Holmberg]

It's. Yeah. Again, not supposed to sexualize it. And that's hard to not do when somebody's touching their butthole at a Sun's game. Why is that guy seemingly seductively tapping his own B hole here at the Sun's game? Oh, don't talk about it that way. Okay. Yes.

[Craig]

The design to make you cheer harder.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Makes me laugh. Did that dude just touch his butthole and Do a crack slide. Yeah. You know, it's Go Sons. No, no, I'm not thinking Go Sons right now. I'm thinking, what the hell was that?

[Brady]

Brady, be honest. Is half the crowd. Well, this isn't true at Ohio State, but is. Isn't half the crowd, just the marching band's parents.

[John Holmberg]

For the. For the Ohio State.

[Brady]

Not for Ohio State, for other bands.

[John Holmberg]

Have you seen them? The only bands worth watching are the black colleges. Oh, yeah, because they're amazing.

[Brady]

They have their own national competition.

[John Holmberg]

White nerds stomping around spelling Ohio is unimpressive.

[Brady]

I know. I followed one in my own house.

[John Holmberg]

You had one there, and it's good. Musically, he's great, but it's not impressive.

[Brady]

No, he quit the marching band because he said, you know, John's right. There's nothing about this.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady]

About performing.

[John Holmberg]

No. It's not a musical performance. It's scholarship. I don't think. I don't think ever during a timeout like, you know, Mike Tomlin's been talking to Ben Roethlisberger and said, man, we don't have a chance, Ben. It's like, why these Eagles cheerleaders, that team, they're so motivated by their cheer squad and this fan fan base going crazy. The Jumbotron. That's why we cheer. You know, when there's no game going on, they put something on the Jumbotron. We start going, we don't care about the cheerleaders unless they make them dirty. That's what football fans really want, is a dirty set of sluts dancing around. But we're not allowed to have that. That would be wrong, evidently.

[Craig]

Gotta throw in fillers during those commercial breaks.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Tons of games.

[Craig]

Televised.

[John Holmberg]

Tons of them. Devin Booker's never gone. All right, guys, you see how hard our cheerleaders are. We got to get out there and fight for them. They don't care. They're not allowed to actually. The team isn't even actually allowed to interact with the cheerleaders, technically, because, you know, you can't start boning one of the cheerleaders and then have that go sideways. If Booker started to nail one of the cheerleaders and then they get into a fight and stuff. Now she's crying and doesn't like it's trouble. They don't let them really interact with the players that much. I'm sure it still happens. Either way. One thing in sports we do need to be talking about is former ASU manager Pat Murphy up there in Milwaukee winning every goddamn game there is. They're 12 in a row now. And he's. You know what he does that's different than any other manager? Eats pancakes out of his pockets. You seen this?

[Craig]

Pocket pancakes.

[Brady]

He's a man after my own heart.

[John Holmberg]

He keeps food in his pockets of.

[Brady]

His uniform and in a cup like.

[John Holmberg]

Mine just in there. And he just reaches in and he has snacks. Waffles, pancakes, hot dogs. He just puts them in his pocket.

[Brady]

Did he do that when he was here?

[John Holmberg]

I don't think so. He said he just started it a few years ago, and it's impressive. Now they're selling to fat Wisconsin food you can shove in your pocket.

[Craig]

No selling needed.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Just mention it. Yeah, Just mention Brady used to live there. Wait, you can put food in your pockets? It's acceptable now. This is a dream of the Midwest to be like. Well, that's still frowned upon. Now. That's a real social advancement. But they're. They're selling ballpark flapjacks because Pat Murphy.

[Craig]

They're on a 12 game.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, they found. They watched this guy just reaching his pocket, and they're like, what's he doing? He was eating. I remember when Jim Leland used to smoke in the dugout and he'd hide it. They never gave away cigarettes to the kids. But it's just as dangerous as giving cigarettes. I'll get pancakes. It's unhealthy to want to reach into your pocket and find a meal. I think. I don't think that's necessarily the best thing to be teaching your kids. But Pat Murphy's out there doing it, and they're giving it. The fans crushing it now. And everybody just keeps food in their pockets, which is the next advancement of our amazing society, is that you'll be talking to somebody. Yeah, I agree. And he reached into his pocket and pulls out a pancake and just shoves it in his mouth. And you're looking at him like this whole thing, this human experiment is over. Did you just eat a pancake out of your pocket? I did. I'm not friends with you anymore. So he has him. He has hoodie. He has food in his hoodie pocket and then some in his pocket in his pants for his baseball pants. He does both.

[Craig]

Just seems messy.

[John Holmberg]

He said, I've been doing this since 2017. I guess I never did it during an interview and stuff. Used to be bagels, mostly. I'd have bagels in my pockets, and then I got one at a game. Then it moved into waffles. I'd roll up a pancake during day games and Stuff.

[Brady]

I just take them, see, Like Craig Counsel. Does he have the hoodie with the.

[John Holmberg]

Hoodie with the pocket in the front? And he keeps.

[Brady]

Not, like pulling it out of his.

[John Holmberg]

But he would like waffles and pancakes in your pocket. That's gross. But it's so Milwaukee. And everybody in Milwaukee's like, what took you so long? They have cheese melting in their pants.

[Brady]

It's gonna be sponsored by Tim Hortons.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They'll have donuts and sprinkles. Pretty soon they'll just have. Your clothes will have a plastic lining inside or a cooling vest.

[Brady]

Oh, that's what it'll be.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because fat America wins every time. So Fat America is going to have, like, those silver pockets that keep things hot.

[Brady]

Does Under Armour stay in that game then? Under Armour.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if Under Armour does like tight clothes with a food pocket.

[Craig]

No. IHOP will come out with its own.

[John Holmberg]

Line and the Midwest will devour it. Like, edible clothes can't be far behind. Your clothes are made of pancakes. And as the day goes on, you just know it's time to go home. When your shirt's missing because you ate it all.

[Craig]

Tripp.

[Brady]

I gotta go home.

[John Holmberg]

Gotta go home. I'm nothing but a T shirt. Did you eat your shirt already? It's only noon. Yes, sir. Damn it, Brady. All right, fine. Yeah. It's a matter of time. But pocket pancakes. And everybody just started laughing. I'm like, this is. This is a shining example of what's wrong with our country, not what's right with it. A guy's got waffles in his pocket. That's called being homeless. If you ever met somebody, ever met a CEO sitting there in a nice suit. So what are you guys up to? And he pulls out like a cocktail wiener from his pocket. Did you just pull out food from your pocket? I sure did. That's disgusting. What raised you? Nothing. I raised myself. Me and some wolves. Me and some wolves out in the desert. And so I just put survival. What are you, a kangaroo? Stop it. I just don't like walking over those plates and pick it. I just keep it out of my pocket.

[Craig]

Roll it up. It's game time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He's got rolled up pancakes. He keeps two or three of them in there. He's now packing it for extra. How many pancakes do you need? Toledo does the grossest thing I've ever seen, which is those pancake in a cup. Mush buckets.

[Brady]

And done one in a while.

[John Holmberg]

But they're so gross. That is. It looks like vomit In a cup. And he stirs it up. It's not a pancake. It's not a pancake. It's just pancake battery pancake.

[Brady]

Like.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not a pancake is a pancake. It's called pancake. Yours is a cup.

[Craig]

It has all the smells of pancake and syrup.

[John Holmberg]

All right, calm down. We'll get you a pocket full of food in a second.

[Brady]

You can't have those anymore.

[John Holmberg]

But little fat kids in real life, you got your pencils and stuff in your backpack and what's in your pocket? Pancakes. Good boy. All right, time to go to school.

[Brady]

John. I'm a Padres fan. Pat Murphy briefly managed the Padres. I'm gonna go back and look at old footage to see if he's munching on a.

[John Holmberg]

If he reaches into his pocket and side eyes everybod. And they go. That's what happens to people who've been like hostages for a long time. And then they give them food and they're just like. And then they put it in their pockets. It's theirs. It's what an animal would do. They bury it and they give them free food. You've been in a locker room in a professional baseball game before a game, there's a buffet.

[Craig]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

For everybody if they want. And afterwards, there's food everywhere. The players kind of lay off because they know better than to lower themselves.

[Craig]

They go through, like millions of uncrustables or crustables.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they have tons of those laying around. They go through those bananas, fruits, things like that.

[Craig]

Cheeseburgers.

[John Holmberg]

The coach. I don't know if they throw cheeseburgers out there after. Before the game. You're not loading the team up on burgers and stuff. You give them fruit and things.

[Brady]

That's your fever dream.

[John Holmberg]

But the coach. You can have pancakes, Josh.

[Brady]

25 years of hilarity just continues today. You think Brady's shirt would make it till noon?

[John Holmberg]

That's a good point. Yeah. Brady wouldn't make it through the 10 o'. Clock. Sorry about that. It's eight. I gotta go home. I don't want to sit here topless. I ate my entire pancake shirt. Pancake shirts. It's gonna be a thing.

[Craig]

The worst day would be. It's half shirt day.

[John Holmberg]

What? What? I said I cut my diet. Low sodium half shirts.

[Brady]

Don't forget, John, the jerk had pizza in a cup.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, pizza in a cup was in the jerk, but not in your pocket. But that's coming. Once they make it so it's washable. You can stuff food in here. When they combo up those lunch like your lunchbox is now part of your shirt. Just stuff your food in there. And it's plastically plastic lining. It's got a hot side, it's got a cool side.

[Brady]

Oh, I had Hong Kong Phooey as a kid. If I had.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, if you had a Hong Kong phooey shirt and you unzipped it and inside were pancakes fat America would start. Well, they wouldn't do backflips, they'd roll down hills. But it's disgusting.

[Craig]

Your dryer smells like they open up that subway.

[Brady]

Fresh bread.

[Craig]

Yeah, they put.

[John Holmberg]

Well, then there's. The next thing is that your dryer will then cook the crumbs and then you can put them in cups and give them to the kids later for more.

[Brady]

Taking the lint pile out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the lint pile is also food just. And kids will start eating lint because that'll just be part of it. Like plastics and everything.

[Craig]

Cotton candy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what it would be. We'd call it cotton pancake flavored cotton candy. And we'd save the oceans because we don't put our lint in the trash anymore. Kids eat it now. It's a bad trend. It's funny, but anytime I see somebody reaching in their pocket and pulling out food something, they're poor. That just means you're really poor.

[Brett Vesely]

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[Byron]

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[Brett Vesely]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Byron]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no wait.

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

No problem.

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holberg and Brett Vesley from the morning sickness coming at you. For our pals at Action Ride Shop, it's summertime.

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

That's a fact, Bert. Action Ride Shop is step one in the smart department. They've got awesome deals on all their E bikes right now.

[Brett Vesely]

They also have specials on their mountain bikes and neighborhood commuters.

[John Holmberg]

And just because it's hot out doesn't mean you can't grab a light and ride the glorious Arizona trails. With an awesome setup from outbound lighting and night rider gets Action Ride Shop.

[Brett Vesely]

On 60 and Gilbert or their new location on McDowell and Power.

[John Holmberg]

ActionRideshop.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness and I can tell you the one thing that I do think is being called poor that isn't or being called trash that isn't. This is the most American thing I've ever. This UFC thing that's going to happen next over at the White House might be the coolest thing ever. They're saying tickets for this are going to get around 100 grand.

[Brady]

Oh, easily.

[John Holmberg]

Like not, not just front row.

[Craig]

Maybe 500 people.

[John Holmberg]

How can you sell tickets?

[Craig]

Yeah, all it's in.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the pay per view will be huge. Yeah, but they're saying it's white trash and it's classic.

[Brady]

No pay per view. It's on Paramount.

[John Holmberg]

Plus now, why is it white trash to have a spelling? I meant kind of disparaging the entire fan base.

[Brady]

Go to a different genre. What if Muhammad Ali. If we had a Muhammad Ali or a Mike Tyson match on the White House grounds.

[John Holmberg]

Now, I don't know if they're gonna. Are they gonna do it to where it's like people who Americans only beaten up like international stars or is it just American versus American? Bring on the Ruskis tomato camp.

[Brady]

Be the Pakistanis.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You can't have like strong Russian fighters that could potentially knock our Americans out and have an all Russian win card of dudes who are going to fly back to Leningrad afterwards. We have to have. You're right. Tomato cans have to go rolling up. We have to start knocking Russians out like crazy China. Oh, yeah. We're going to beat the tart of a Chinese fighter who's probably Never done it before. It almost has to all be rigged. Maybe a Canadian gets in there and wins. We'd be kind of okay with that. But it's the 4th of July, 250th birthday of America. It has to be all Americans kicking the living out of international fighters. Otherwise they got to put a special card together. But they said that tickets, if they, if they sell them, and I don't think they will. Hundred thousand dollars. So they'll do and they'll give it to some sort of weird charity. But that's amazing. And I don't know. I like the Easter egg roll is just as white trash as a UFC event.

[Craig]

You're going to get your trust tickets from Trump directly.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, he's going to hand them out just like he did.

[Brady]

Well, you're going to have to buy some crypto first and then you'll maybe.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he gave the Kennedy center honors. He got to pick that. And kiss. Just awesome. Yeah, Stallone and kiss and Gloria Gaynor. I don't know why she's there. She's got like a song.

[Craig]

Disco queen.

[John Holmberg]

So I'm all for next year's super UFC White House event. I don't know how you're getting the white trash. I don't know why. I guess because if you thought of it as a normal front yard and there was a fight on would be a little trashy. But this ain't a normal front yard and it's not a normal day. And our president happens to absolutely love the ufc. I don't know what Biden was into, but if they had like a tennis match, everybody be okay with it because that's a high end sport. Like people. Only people with tennis courts on their.

[Brady]

It's a hoity toity.

[John Holmberg]

Well, if you have a tennis court in your yard, you've got money. Most of the time you got a UFC ring in your backyard. You are pretty much the devil of your neighborhood and you are the trashiest person. The White House is different. And you're not having real UFC events in your yard. You're just having neighborhood kids fight like Brady used to, right? America, if you had a UFC ring in your backyard and Dana White came over and said, we'd love to have this as one of our venues, suddenly it's not white trash anymore. But if you have a ufc, if you have a boxing ring in your backyard. My dental hygienist said that to me the other day. She goes, I used to date a guy who had a boxing ring in his backyard and they'd have fights. And I'm like, he's trash. And she started laughing and she goes, well, he was. It was weird. I'm like, yeah, that is weird. To have a boxing ring in your backyard and have neighborhood fights is weird.

[Brady]

Our neighbors, the Durhams in Three Forks, Montana, had pole vaulting pit.

[John Holmberg]

That's just strange. But that's.

[Brady]

That's the weirdest thing I've ever seen in your backyard.

[Craig]

They get scholarships out of that deal.

[Brady]

They did not.

[John Holmberg]

Was the data pole vaulter didn't quite make it. And he made his case.

[Brady]

Might have been Marinovich became a dentist.

[John Holmberg]

I think think he was a pole vaulter who became a dentist and then told his kids, you're trying pole vaulting.

[Brady]

First, we're keeping it in the backyard.

[John Holmberg]

We're going to keep pole vaulting top of mind until we can't. And then you'll go do something else. That's what your dad had to do. That's what you're going to do. That's the secret to success. You pole vault until you can't pole vault no more. And then we move you on to a career. That's weird. Yeah, I've never heard of that one. But I guess you got a lot of room. You love pole vaulting. You have the big mattress. What else are you going to do with it?

[Brady]

Giant cedar fence that everybody would crash into when you.

[John Holmberg]

I don't over vault. Yeah, you missed the pit. If you spent money on pole vaulting mattresses, you might as well just finish the job.

[Brady]

Like the bales of hay that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he didn't have any. Oh, I figured he had like, professional stuff. Oh, no. This is full hill dilly.

[Craig]

That's the most actual stab. The pit where you could stick the pole vault in.

[John Holmberg]

We just dug a hole.

[Brady]

Just a hole. It might have been a bucket, actually. That was okay.

[John Holmberg]

This is not a pole vaulting thing. You're you. This is a hillbillies fever dream is what it is. He saw it in the Olympics once and built it.

[Brady]

We could do this in our backyard.

[John Holmberg]

He was not qualified for any of that. I thought he built like a real one. I had actually. What I was picturing was a beautiful ranch with a Runway over in the corner. Yeah, it had the Runway. No, it was hillbilly with a. I bring up the house, the Home Depot bucket and some bales of hay, and they'd throw their kids over a stick.

[Craig]

We had a sand volleyball court. My dad. Dad did.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty cool. The full size.

[Craig]

Full size.

[John Holmberg]

That's Pretty cool. Yeah. And you lived in a nice neighborhood, so it's like. It's a home.

[Craig]

I still, I was, I was thinking about that as you were talking. I'm like, I wonder. I mean, it wasn't. Everything was nice. It was a real mad.

[John Holmberg]

As long as you kept it nice.

[Brady]

Like.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's a pretty good one. Ufc, boxing, any sort of ring or octagon in your backyard.

[Craig]

Little different.

[John Holmberg]

What are your plans with that? Is that. Is. That's not a nice neighborhood game? Guys want to get in an octagon and fight? We're at a barbecue. Tom. I don't. That's the house.

[Brady]

I mean, this is, you know, 40 years later, but this is the house. Pole vaulting pit was back here.

[John Holmberg]

Right there in the middle of the.

[Brady]

Back where that rectangle was a pretty nice house.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And they would pole vault in a Home Depot bucket in that space that you're.

[Brady]

No, Like a pan.

[John Holmberg]

Like, this is not good.

[Brady]

Like a 5 quart saucepan in the. That they buried in the.

[John Holmberg]

How did they not get sued from the first day? Yes.

[Brady]

Because there had to be Forks, Montana.

[John Holmberg]

There's lawyers in Three Forks at that time. There is Yellowstone. There's lawyers up there. Well, that's pretty. That's. That's pretty heavily hillbillied right there. Strong hillbilly behavior on that one anyway. But the White House lawn having a UFC fight on it, that's pretty cool. And I know people like, oh, what's it coming to it? We've been watching it halfway.

[Brady]

Is that what Trump's building that new ballroom for so he can host, like arena style events in there?

[John Holmberg]

I think he saw it when he went to another country and went, why don't we have one of these? Like, he's been to a couple of leaders houses. Yeah. And he's like, we need this. And so he wants to have that. If it was WWE, you got an argument. If, like, he did SummerSlam at the.

[Craig]

White House that he does, like the, the military parade or whatever. He just wants the other countries to see.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Craig]

Here's how we're celebrating our 250th year.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, you could have like Field of Dreams in the front yard. You could have. You get a baseball, maybe a football game would be pretty neat there. The only one that really can't fly is wwe. That would be. Then, then the White Trash screamers would be. Right. A boxing match would be amazing. This UFC thing, I think is fun. It doesn't take up a ton of space either.

[Brady]

John. My neighbors Had a fighting ring in their backyard.

[John Holmberg]

That's illegal. I do where you hear roosters crow in the morning and you're like, there's no farms. There's like 40 roosters going nuts. And there is not a farm in sight. Anyway. Toledo. What do you got on the big board of musical Treats?

[Brady]

Let me pull it up here. It's brought to you by. Give them the.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's brought to you by our friends at Action Ride Shop. If you want to head on over there again now. Beautiful. Like last night. That rain that came through, man, it went right down the 51. Just poured all over the 51. The West Valley got crushed. So it was just a nice cooldown. Afterwards, you hop on your bike and do a night ride. They're doing night rescues and stuff of people who still. So you still got to hydrate. They've got all the hydration stuff you'd ever want at Action Ride Shop too. They're loaded up with that kind of stuff. So if you're an active person and you don't want the weather to stop you make sure you're taking care of yourself and they'll take care of you. Action Ride shops got you covered. 60 and right around there on Gilbert Road, you can find it. And of course, their new shop up on Power and McDowell. If you want to get out there. Action Ride Shop. What do you got?

[Brady]

Porn star dancing from my darkest days. Mexican Radio by Wallavudu. Or we could do the hard rock version, I suppose. Little Piece of Heaven by Avenged Sevenfold Velvet Revolver. She builds quick machines. Acdc. Have a drink on me. For the water drive this morning. Judas Priest. Turbo lover for the Vikings.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I like that one. We'll go with some priests this morning. A little turbo lover. You can dance that. My cop buddy Ben just text me a picture of himself in 1995. Pole vaulting since a badass sport. State champion 4A. That's me. It's a picture of Ben doing it. I only wonder when I see that stuff is. How do you practice that? How do you like the first day?

[Craig]

It's got to be. Yeah. I mean, the high school you got to.

[John Holmberg]

That's it. Like the first day. You're holding the stick.

[Craig]

There might be facilities now that's that have it. But I don't know of any.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know any.

[Craig]

There are separate swim like guys that go to the next level.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's swimming. There's pools everywhere. You can practice at home. You can't pole vault practice at home.

[Craig]

You can't practice, you can't go to.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you can. You can swim at home.

[Brady]

You can take the pole.

[John Holmberg]

Necessarily run, you know, but you can get good at swimming in a pool at home. You can say I'm pretty good at swimming. Maybe I should try this in a big pool. Pole vaulting. I think you learned that the first day the track coach goes, what do you want to do? I don't know. That looks fun. Like, here's a stick, give it a try. I don't think there's any like pre training to pole vaulting until you get to a place that has it.

[Craig]

That's not until high school.

[John Holmberg]

Right. And I think those kids are doing it for the first freshmen or doing it for the very first time. I can't imagine. I don't know. Ben, tell me, how did you. How do you get into it? Like, your dad doesn't go, all right, we're going to the pole vaulting park. It doesn't exist.

[Brady]

Alex went stapley. There was no junior high track team.

[John Holmberg]

Where do you get all the equipment? There was no Internet in 1995. How do you buy pole vaulting?

[Craig]

You got two options, pole vaulting or javelin.

[John Holmberg]

You pick javelin. You can practice. You can go to the park and chuck a javelin.

[Craig]

Never.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, you never see it, but you could. Where do you pole vault to get good enough to go? I'm going to try out for the high school team.

[Craig]

Yeah, you need a school.

[John Holmberg]

You just show up at school and go, I'll do it. You're the guinea pig. All right, I'm not fast enough. But I want to be out here. Here, I'll try it. And they give you the poll and they go, just, good luck.

[Brady]

Just plant it. Keep running.

[John Holmberg]

The massive insurance liability. Good luck.

[Craig]

Our buddy, Rod McConnell, he pole vaulted his daughter. Got a full ride. Ole Miss, that's hot.

[John Holmberg]

Tell me more about that. It's pole vaulting. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know how you get good at that before you start tournaments because what do you have, like a three week training program before there's a tournament? I got pole vault. How long you been doing it? I don't know. When did school start? Four weeks ago. This is brand new to me, too. You have to be scared to death the first few times. You gotta find out you love it.

[Craig]

I mean, yeah, before high school or. I guess it's gotta be club sports again. Like they travel around these tournaments.

[John Holmberg]

Why would your parents pay for you to be a pole vaulter if the first time you do it is after the check clears. You can't. You can't buy. You can't buy the stick. There's no way kids quit everything. No way.

[Craig]

What's a pole running?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Craig]

It's gotta be.

[John Holmberg]

But that's my point, Brady. The Internet. We can now buy a pole for pole vaulting. How did this start? Where did you ever go? I grew up here. We didn't have pole vaulting facilities. Never, ever.

[Craig]

But they had it at your. At Dobson.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And two people died. Of course they provided the polls. You can't BYO poles at a certain.

[Craig]

Time, then you buy your own pool. Where, at Dick's?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Dick's doesn't have a pole vaulting section. They'd lose their ass if they were focusing on the stocking up on pole vaulting. Yeah.

[Brady]

You'd have to have, you know what, 10 foot ceilings.

[John Holmberg]

10 foot people are going 19, 20ft just for the pole. Oh, yeah. Just to lay it down.

[Craig]

Dick's doesn't have poles.

[John Holmberg]

Dick's has poles. There's polls at Dick's, but not for pole vaulting. I don't think. I think they can order them now.

[Brady]

For $830 for that pole vaulting pole. There's one for a thousand.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you can get good polls on the Internet. I don't know how it works. Doesn't make any sense. It says, I think pole vaulters start out as high jumpers. And then they're like, you're pretty good at this. This. You ever think of adding a stick? No. Here, hold the stick and then run at it and jam it into the ground and fling yourself over.

[Brady]

Get your shot put too.

[John Holmberg]

Shot put makes sense. You can practice with grapefruits until you, you know. Anyway, it's all crazy. This is for those Minnesota cheerleaders that are breaking the bank. Is that the girl? Rod's daughter's beautiful. Ask her how it started. How did it start for her? And you know what? Kudos to her, Rod and the whole family for tolerating having a girl who works a pole so hard that she got a scholarship. The jokes are easy. Female pole vaulters. My God. Oh, she can handle a pole. Let's do it. It's Turbo lover, everybody. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.

[Craig]

It's Brady from the HMS Crew for Game Day Men's Health, the valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations. You should do what I did and schedul complimentary appointment which is quick and easy. You'll meet with a board certified medical director and figure out what treatments that can help you, whether you need more energy, medical, weight loss or sexual health treatments. Game Day Men's Health Clinic is a true game changer. Go to gameday phoenix.com and schedule your complimentary appointment today. Get back in the game with Game Day Men's Health.

[John Holmberg]

It's John holmberg here for turfmonstersaz.com if that yard of yours doesn't look great all of the time, if it is work all of the time, it does not have to be. Turf Monsters can come to your house and make your yard a beautiful showcase place for you, your family, your pets. Yeah, it's pet friendly as well. Anything you can dream up in that backyard they can do. Tell them Holmberg sent you get 10% off turf monsters. AZ.com it's John Holmer here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk again about my friends at Trajan Wealth. I always talk to you about the will and trust. The estate plan that I put together with Kent at Trajan Wealth. Kent was unbelievable. And man, you want to make sure medical power of attorney and power of attorney are established because if something bad happens and you don't have anybody speaking for you, somebody you don't know will keep control of your life even when you're not in control. All you have to do is get it done. Today at Trajan Wealth 480-990-3300 Trajan wealth legal services are offered through Trajan Estate Law Firm llc.