08-15-25 - Penile Surgery Reactions - It's John's Dad's BDay We Should Call Him - Theory That Hot Girls Have The Most STDs And Watching ASU Retro News Story Proves It - Is Arcadia The Gilbert Of Central PHX w/Food And Attitude?

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona (#1 Morning Radio Show on 98KUPD)
Date: August 15, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Main Theme:
A wild ride through penile surgery horror stories, John wishing his dad a happy birthday, satirical social commentary on hot girls and STDs, nostalgia via a retro ASU news clip, and irreverent takes on Phoenix neighborhood snobbery—especially Arcadia vs. Gilbert.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Penile Surgery Reactions

No direct transcript provided for this, but is referenced as a running callback.

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2. John’s Dad’s Birthday (05:00–10:45)

• Listener Reminder: Listeners chime in to wish John’s dad, Dan, a happy 78th birthday, prompting John to reflect on his dad’s remarkable health (no daily meds, regular check-ups).
  • “He has never—and this is a statement on our health—my dad does not have a single pill he has to take at all.” – John, (07:34)
• Colorful Family Stories: John tells about “Hi, Yella” and “Yellow Hand”—eccentric figures who worked on his dad’s property and in the past, with sitcom-level nicknames and backstories.
  • “My dad bought this property, and [Hi, Yella] came with it, and they became best friends. It’s like Brokeback Mountain, only gayer.” – John, (06:44)
• Temptation to Call Dad Live: The hosts debate calling Dad on the air but fear he’ll say something too unfiltered for broadcast.

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3. Hot Girls, STDs, & Urgent Care Realities (11:07–16:50, 31:09–34:56)

A. Listener Urgent Care Theory:

• A listener claims his friend who works at urgent care swears, “Any time he saw a hot, hot, hot girl walk in, it almost always was an STD or something wrong down there.” (11:07)
• John expands the theory: “Hot girls tend to only have sex with hot guys. What do we know about hot guys? Hot guys have loads of sex because they can. So they’re spreading all the diseases…”

B. Blunt and Comedic Sex Ed:

• John, joking about the advantages of average-looking guys:
  • “The benefits, Brady, you and I and Brett, to a certain degree, of being disgusting and ugly is that we are protected from STDs by just our natural look.” (12:00)
  • “For hot guys, it rains pee on them, then they take that to another hot girl.”
• Memorable Anecdote: John’s own STD scare—two days of pain and an unnecessarily “thorough” doctor’s exam—gets retold for laughs.
  • “The doctor fingered me … you don’t give a prostate exam to a 21-year-old kid. He did. Very thorough.” (13:39)

C. Love Island, F-Boys, and the Modern Dating Petri Dish:

• Reality shows as proof all beautiful people “just want to bang each other. And you can’t blame them. But that’s an STD factory.” (15:36)

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4. ASU Retro News Story—Campus Life in 1977 (16:54–21:48)

• Channel 10 Throwback Segment: John describes seeing a vintage “moving day” news story from 1977 at ASU. The nostalgia prompts observations:
  • “They only interviewed the hot freshmen… the cameraman just eyeballing her every clip.”
  • “It was authenticity of self. None of them were artificial, you know, None. It was the anti-filter. It was just. They were just running with what they had been given.” (24:05)
• Differences from Today: Natural looks (no implants, no exaggerated eyelashes, “just human”), and on-screen attitudes more candid and real.
• Camera Creepiness: John notes the pervy camera work that kept following the hot girl—“I guarantee you that dude definitely beat off to her in the editing bay.” (19:14)

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5. Plastic Surgery Through the Decades (25:10–31:09)

• Evolution from subtle enhancements (“you’d have to guess”) to today’s badge of obvious surgery.
  • “Now it’s so, No, she had work done.” (30:40)
• Michael Jackson’s look now viewed as “the standard” for housewives and Instagram models.
  • “Everything we laughed at with Michael Jackson is now the, the achievement that’s the norm.” (28:44)

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6. Is Arcadia the Gilbert of Central PHX? Food & Attitude (35:56–53:27)

A. Phoenix Neighborhood Stereotypes:

• Arcadia: True wealth, snobbery, and insularity. “They kind of run the higher class events, you know, and it’s annoying. They love getting dressed up and playing house.” (37:13)
• Gilbert: A mix of genuinely wealthy and “a bunch of people pretending.”
• Arcadia Light: South of the canal is literally signed “LITE” to distinguish from the main Arcadia area.

B. Diversity & Ethnic Food Satire:

• Ethiopian Treats in Arcadia:
  • Mockery: John riffs on the idea of an Ethiopian bakery in one of Phoenix’s whitest, wealthiest neighborhoods.
    • “Ethiopia is not known for any sort of delightful treats that Arcadians are gonna love. And if they’re strong with coffee. Colombia up a little Ethiopian. Get us those beans.” (39:07)
    • On menu expectations: “I don’t think of Ethiopian treats unless they’re being dropped from the sky and I have to fight somebody for it.”
    • “An authentic Ethiopian restaurant? The waiter comes by, scared, what do you want? We have bowls of rice. That is it. And then they have a little drone come over and drop the food onto your table. And then warlords come over, and you have to fight them for it.” (47:09)
  • Social Posturing: Arcadia moms and their need to display ‘worldliness’ by trying “Ethiopian croissants.”

C. Arcadia’s Keeping Up with the Joneses:

• Home Improvement Arms Race:
  • “I got a new Jeep … within a week, seven, eight, nine new cars just on my street. These people can’t let you have a moment for yourself without climbing on. It’s weird.” (51:02)
• Arcadia Light & Arcadia Orchards, etc.: Neighborhoods around Arcadia inventing taglines to boost property values.

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7. Running Jokes & Memorable Quotes

• On Doing Brady Impressions in the Bedroom:
  • “Do it when you're gonna reach climax and see if she even notices.” (01:11)
• On Arcadians:
  • “Enjoy your Ethiopian treats, you horrible women.” (53:15)
• On Mom’s Being Friends with Their Daughters:
  • “No, you can't [go to a sorority party]. You're a bag of wrinkles. Get out of here. This is a hot group. I’m going to learn a tic tac dance.”
• On the Hot Guy/STD Problem:
  • “Keith was like a trip to India. You were coming back needing shots.” (31:20)

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• Why hot people are a health hazard:

  • “Hot girls tend to only have sex with hot guys. … So they’re spreading all the diseases.” – John (12:00)

• On average looks as STD protection:

  • “The benefits … of being disgusting and ugly is we are protected from STDs by just our natural look.” – John (12:00)

• ASU 1977 News Coverage:

  • “It was them in color, which was really strange. Except for the microphone which looked like a hand grenade… the cameraman just followed her around every time.” – John (19:14)

• Plastic surgery culture shock:

  • “Everything we laughed at with Michael Jackson is now the achievement that’s the norm. Like a sliver of a nose and these weird, bulging ghoulish eyes.” – John (28:44)

• Arcadia vs. the world:

  • “Arcadian people are from another planet. … If you lived south of the canal, the people wouldn’t stop talking to you.” – John (37:13)

• Ethiopian food in Arcadia:

  • “When I think of Ethiopia, I think delicious sandwiches.” – John (39:06)

• About raising property values through branding:

  • “Neighborhoods around there now have new signs up that are nicknames. Arcadia Light, Arcadia Orchards, Arcadia West…because their house property goes up if anybody sees the word Arcadia.” – John (56:33)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------| | 05:00 | John’s Dad’s Birthday Retrospective | | 11:07 | Listener Urgent Care/ “Hot Girl STD” Theory | | 16:54 | ASU Retro News Story/ 1977 Dorm Move-In | | 24:05 | Observations on Authenticity/Natural Beauty in 70s vs Now | | 31:09 | Ugly Guys’ Inbuilt STD Protection/Keith the Bartender Anecdote | | 35:56 | Arcadia vs Gilbert: Class, Money, Snobbery | | 39:06 | Ethiopian Cuisine in Arcadia Satire | | 47:09 | Satirical Authentic Ethiopian Restaurant Experience | | 48:38 | Arcadia Light and Neighborhood Name Branding Mania | | 51:02 | Arcadia’s Keeping up with the Joneses, Housing Trends | | 56:33 | Real Estate Branding and Absurdity around Arcadia |

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Tone, Language & Style

• The episode is irreverent, fast-paced, and riff-heavy, with the hosts frequently mocking local social dynamics, suburban pretensions, and themselves.
• Language is blunt, blue-collar, with a strong dose of dark, satirical humor.
• There are recurring references to pop culture, local institutions, sexual taboos, and 80s/90s nostalgia.
• John’s storytelling dominates, with the rest of the crew riffing along and adding their own perspectives/banter.

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Summary Takeaway

This episode covers:

• The built-in brutality and comedy of “morning zoo” style local radio.
• An irreverent mix of Arizona-rooted observational humor on topics as random as family, sex, health, plastic surgery, neighborhood privilege, college nostalgia, and what happens when a wealthy suburb tries to get “cultured” via Ethiopian pastries.
• Buried under the raucous jokes are social truths about self-image, wealth, and generational change in the Valley of the Sun.

If you missed the episode, this write-up delivers the key laughs, social jabs, and best barroom stories you’d want to repeat—and a few zingers that cross the line, as always.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Hey everybody, it's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time once again for the pick of the litter. Brought to you by our friends at turf Monsters a dot com. This week's pick the litter is a special little guy surrendered by his family because financial woes made it so they just could not give little manufacturer a great life. A little bit older. It's a Bichon poodle mix. Smart as a whip. Check it all out. Lost our home.org or 98kupd.com it's the pick of the litter. Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from AMCO.

[C]

Let's talk about back to school TLC for your car.

[B]

Larry, the last thing anyone needs right now is to start the school year with car troubles. Yeah, makes sense.

[C]

What should people do?

[B]

Head to your closest amco. We specialize in back to school auto repairs for the busy school season. Plus we have a back to school discount for students and teachers. Yeah, but do you need to make an appointment? Not at all. Just pop into your nearest Amco or book online. Now that's convenient.

[C]

Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco double A MCO transmissions and.

[B]

A whole lot more. And remember, AMCO proudly supports Operation Hydrations. Still streaming Homburg's morning sickness [e-mail] that's enough of that. It's true. Thank you, Katie and the Hobbs. It's miles to nowhere getting you through the next few minutes of your day. What are we talking about? I don't know. This guy Kyle says I'm already smiling at the fact there will be thousands of women absolutely confused as hell this weekend. At some point when those of us listeners that are funny enough to throw a Brady impression in at the right time when they're about to reach climax. It's good to. You know what? Do it when you're gonna reach climax and see if she even notices. Oh, yeah. Here I go. Here I go. I'm gonna. What happened to your voice? I don't know.

[A]

You may not finish though yourself if you're doing that.

[B]

Yeah, you gotta wait till you're really closing shop. Yeah, you don't wanna. You don't want to stump your own progress. I'll get that one in a second. This one says, I'm already planning my Brady impression for when the wife and I are in one of the throes of passion at some point this weekend. The obvious low hanging fruit would be only fans Brady. But that's too easy. Black lady Brady's a funny one. I might go with that one. I think it's my favorite. Or maybe Indian Brady. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not yet, not yet. No, no, no. You do it first. What are you doing, Kyle? Victor. It says. This one says you hit the nail on the head, John, with your observation as a female. I listen to this show because I have fallen for you and Brett and Brady Toledo's. All right. I guess I can't make it through my day without listening every morning. And the Saturday recap. Signed Nadia Abanada. Nadia Abenada? Sounds a little foreign for my taste. I don't know what's going. What language do you speak? She's either incredible and like exotic or has like nine kids. Nadia Abanada. I can't really place a judgment on your name. I'm trying.

[A]

Or it's Kevin from Discover Cards.

[B]

Don't be emailing those jackasses, please, anymore. No, no. Why are you telling the jackasses that you are in love with them when you clearly have all you need at home here, baby, why don't you go down on me anymore? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You've had a tampon in there for over 30 days. It smells like my hometown. Maybe I should shower. Don't you dare. Don't speak that language in my house. Don't you say those curses in my home, please. Why did you have the shower removed? To be more like our home. We do not like those things. That is disgusting. Never. And it's my dad's birthday today. Thank you to a listener for reminding me. Don't forget to wish your dad happy birthday today. You guys remember more than I do. It's like having a Hundred thousands of personal assistants just firing away at you. Thank you very much. I will. I'll call Danny. 78 years old today. Dad is. And, you know, probably doing something insanely physical. The guy is nuts, so. Happy birthday to Dan.

[C]

Getting spanked by Yellow Hand.

[B]

Good. Not Yellow Hand. Hi, Yellow. Yellow Hand, I worked with at Tony Rome.

[C]

That's right.

[B]

Yellow Hand was our Indian worker that we made clean the tampon box. He was Native American. He had to put that big yellow glove on. And we named him Yellow Hand. Well, we didn't. Bill Osborne did. Yellow Hand. The box is full. Shut up, Osborne. As long as the sun rises in the east and the buffalo roams the prairie, Yellow Hand will dabble in the tampon box at the Roma rib hunt and all will be right for yet another summer. Many moons have passed since Yellow Hand has cleaned out the box. That's Yellow Hand. High Yellow is my dad. Maybe Ayala made him a cake. And Ayala comes up to my dad's. The big house. And what do you need? Hi, Yellow. I made this for you, so.

[C]

Oh, Jesus.

[B]

That's right. Give me that cake. Now go back to your quarters. I don't know what's. I've never been to his property, but he's got a man named hi, Yellow. That and I still. I even asked him, like, what's his real name? I don't know. Hi, Yella. I'm like, nobody names their kid that. What's his name? Trevor? I doubt it. Dad.

[A]

Braden.

[B]

Kaden Braden. I don't know. How old is he? He's either 35 or 75. I can't tell. And I've seen pictures of him. I can't either. He's. He's either.

[C]

He's a mystery.

[B]

He is a complete miss. And he came out of nowhere, like Bagger Vance. He just showed up. My dad bought this property, and he came with it, and they became best friends. It's like Brokeback Mountain, only gayer. I think. I never thought. I'd. Never thought I'd meet you. Hi, Yella. I never thought I'd have a friend like you, sir. Let's go lift donkeys. Yes, sir. And that's what they do together. That's probably what he's doing. Probably doing some donkey lifting today with high yellow 78, though. Proudest moment my dad and I shared was just about three months ago. And I hope that I can. He has never. And this is a statement on our health. RFK Jr would be so proud. My dad does not have a single pill. He has to take at all.

[C]

It's amazing.

[B]

It is. It really is. I have no friends that don't wake up and have, like, the mtwtfss, the little box. I. My. My dogs, they get pills every day. That is an amazing achievement, being 78. And, like, I've been pill free the whole time. And then he told me the afterwards, I'm like, you get checked out a lot. No. You might need a pill. He does. No, he does go. He does go in for, like, full body exams, but he lets that go and he's like, I'm not doing it. His blood pressure, it's amazing. So good for him. And then his worst fears are going to come true. He's going to live to be, like, 100, but 78. Happy birthday, Dan. Nice job, kid. We could call my dad, but I wouldn't. I wouldn't risk that. Well, we'd have to tape it. Why?

[C]

You think you'd cuss?

[B]

Ah, he'd say something real stupid. It would. He'd probably. They'd probably retroactively cancel his retirement.

[C]

No, he wouldn't.

[B]

Yeah, you would. You don't know him that well. Yeah, you would. And I'd call him. I'd be like, hey, Dad, I guarantee this would be like, hey, dad, we're on the air. What the are you doing? Like, you don't cuss. Ah, Jesus Christ. Really? Let's call him.

[A]

See if he remembers you and Mark riding around your shirt.

[B]

So he. I'm not talking about any of that. I thought you two. No, because he said, I could have sworn you two were together. Like, okay, we gotta go.

[A]

Let's go.

[B]

It's not worth it. We'll lose our jobs. We'll lose our jobs. I don't have enough of a dump hut. It would have to reset.

[C]

One dump. He's out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You got a checkbook? It's all good.

[B]

Don't worry about it. Would be one dump and be like, hi, how the are you? I'm like, we're done. And it would be.

[C]

He's a professional.

[B]

The game we would play with my dad on the phone would be, how long till he mentions Aunt Connie, his sister, who is the most lovely woman alive.

[A]

That's the one. You.

[B]

No, Joan is the one. I misspelled aunt. And I. My phone did it. My phone replaced the word aunt with a C instead of an A. And he was very upset with me that I kept calling his sister that name. I'm not going over to Jones for Thanksgiving. It's too far. That's My sister. I don't care. I don't want to go to Jones House. Why do you keep saying that? He thought I was saying I wasn't going because of that, but I was not going because she lived in Queen Creek.

[A]

Right?

[B]

And also she. You know, the last time we were there, she started to tell me that I was going to go to hell and stuff.

[C]

Wanted to pray over you?

[B]

Yeah, she. During the prayer, over the dinner, she said that there are certain people at table who don't believe in Jesus and their lives are not good. And I'm like, all right, that's enough of this.

[C]

And we know who that is.

[B]

I was the only one, like, all right, come on. They don't bow their heads during prayer. I'm like. I'm participating by being quiet. Don't single me out. And we all know the bald. The bald one. We're talking about the bald one. I'm like, it's me. Just say my name. Have the courage. Jesus knows.

[A]

Say my name.

[B]

Actually, he doesn't, because he's not real. We're wasting about eight minutes of valuable eating time, but fine. And, Lord, if you could help him find you, well, just show up. How about that? How about.

[A]

Let me.

[B]

Let me just expedite this prayer. If you want me to find you, pop down on the table right now and reveal yourself. There's enough of the games. If you were a chick, I wouldn't call you. You're playing too many goddamn games. I'm gonna show myself to you. Not really. All right, enough. Jesus. I'm gonna go play with other people who are actually hanging around and being real.

[C]

Spirit tease.

[B]

Weirdo. Yeah, it's a very strange thing, but, yeah. The guy said, talking about the girl who had the tampon in there for a month said my friend used to work at an urgent care and said anytime he saw a hot, hot, hot girl walk in, it almost always was an STD or something wrong down there. He said he doesn't like hot girls because they're walking petri dishes. You have to think about that. There's a reason why. This is why an insanely hot girl Scottsdale type is someone you don't want anything to do with. Count how many times a hot girl's told you that she's got, like, a UTI or a kidney infection. Pigs don't ever talk about that. They never get them. And the reason why is hot girls tend to only have sex with hot guys. What do we know about hot guys?

[A]

Twinks.

[B]

They have no.

[A]

Oh, sorry.

[B]

I don't know what you're. We're gonna go down that road in a second. By the way. Call a therapist because that was telling. Hot guys have loads of sex because they can. So they're spreading all the diseases because hot dudes get laid. It's the benefits, Brady, you and I and Brett, to a certain degree of being disgusting and ugly is that we are protected from STDs by just our natural look. We are not having multiple sexual partners at any given time because it's too hard for us. For hot guys, it rains pee on them, then they take that to another hot girl. And a hot girl wanders into the urgent care going, he said I was. He said he wasn't having sex with anyone else. So of course hot girls have sex with hot Scottsdale guys. They go to clubs where dudes who get laid hang out. And they probably got laid earlier that night. They're pigs. They have names for them. They're fboys. And hot chicks love fboys. I've never been or never will be an FBoy, so I've never had the threat of an STD, ever. The only time I did it was because that girl was drinking Boone's Farm. That's the kind of class operation I was running.

[C]

That was your closest to Love Island.

[B]

The closest. It was in the back of a car. There was nothing good about it. Boone's Wild island, because I don't like strawberries. So Strawberry Hill was out and she decided to go down and play the game. Caused a massive amount of urinary issues for two days. I let that go. I was peeing, coffee was hot and it was black. I'm like, what is this?

[C]

And you got assaulted by the doctor.

[B]

And then the doctor fingered me. And as time goes on, I realized that that was totally unnecessary. You don't give a prostate exam to a 21 year old kit. He did. Very thorough. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group. And Doug hopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this, though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd have just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house and he makes an offer for your house, cash as is. You don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1-800-sale now.

[A]

Hey Byron, I was looking at mmpguns.com's website. You have everything and the prices are Incredible.

[D]

Yes sir. MMP Guns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys and more. The best part is if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[A]

Wait, there's no bag back orders?

[B]

Nope.

[D]

We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[A]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to mmpguns.com.

[C]

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[B]

Homburg's morning sickness so yeah, that's why hot girls are always going to have more problems down there because they have sex with hot guys and hot guys just for the sake of, you know, the possibility are having sex with a ton of people. Why wouldn't you? You're a dude. You want to do that. Hot dude. That's like, no, no, no. I turn it down. I only want to be with one. That's not what a hot guy thinks. I watch those reality shows. Those are incredibly good looking people all wanting to have sex with each other and you can't blame them. But that's an STD factory. It would be fun to hang out at an urgent care. I guess nobody's ever said that, but it would be fun to hang out in urgent care in Scottsdale and just watch the burning itching sensation. Women come in with their ponytails and they're thinking that they've got like a kidney infection. I got a kidney infection because they want it to be serious. But really all it is is I got blasted by Rocco at the Bottle Blonde last night in the back of my Kia. He wouldn't show me his apartment. He's having it fumigated because he's poor and he's got three roommates. He just. He fell for it. I got a kidney infection. No, you don't.

[C]

University Hospital.

[B]

Oh my God, could you imagine? Yeah, they're all moving back in. So this weekend. I wonder what weekend it is that the STDs flow the most at ASU. It's got to be this one because the move in day was yesterday and rush happening. Yeah, Last night channel 10 did a great thing. Is a great. This is. This will make me watch Channel 10 more at their 9 o' clock news. I just flipping through at the end of the. They do have archives because Channel 10's been around forever. They're like, let's go back to what moving day it is. Because it's moving day. They move all got their boxes and their parents dropping them off. Remember in Revenge of the Nerds, same thing happens every year, right around now. It happens every year. They did it yesterday. And they're like, but you just saw the story of all the. The new freshmen and all the new people moving into the dorms. He goes, let's go back to 1977. And they break into their archives and Show Moving Day, 1977. And man, it was Trump's right. It was a better time. They only interviewed the hot freshmen, like it was. And the dudes were like. And the one guy's like, what are you going to do for the weekend? He goes, I've been known to tip back a few good ones. So I'm going to knock myself out this week. And was like, it wasn't like, bro, it's just some guy goes, it's a great question. It was very classy. And then I realized that dude's 72 now. And then the girl that they were interviewing, she was so hot. And the cameraman just eyeballing her every. Every clip she was in it. So he just followed her around the campus. But it was really neat. And then I realized the cop they interviewed is dead. No question. He was like 40, he's dead. And all these people that are on there are probably almost dead. They're in their 70s, just over. That was so quick. And then you go back in this archive. But it was really interesting to show how times haven't really changed. It's just a pain in the ass to get in and out of the dorm and that and that the Cameraman who can't really. And he was chasing this girl around every time her. You know, all this braless and no boob jobs. That was the other thing. 1977. All the girls were natural. Tiny, little. But it looked good.

[A]

No limp implants.

[B]

No. None of this ass thing. And, like, their eyelashes were human sized. They didn't look like Palm fans in a bad Elvis movie. Yeah, that was. It was a crazy like. And then John Hook's like, that's neat. And the girl with him said, this is the best segment we do. I love why. And it is because it's. It's literally grandparents now.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And it was them in color, which was really strange because it didn't look that old. Except for the microphone look like a hand grenade. And they're just like, you know, what are your plans? And the dudes all look like they were about 52. Well, being a freshman at Arizona State is a. We got. I'm like, jesus Christ, the guy's 19. They interviewed some other dudes. We've got 500 people on a waiting list. And the reporter had no problem going, why the f. Would you do that? You know how many rooms you have? Why would you overbook it? Well, it is a waiting list. And we are. You know, we do this every year. Well, that's not good. Probably not. Yeah, you're probably right. And then they just moved on to the hot girl again. It's taking forever to get. And she had a little white tank top. Like, this is pretty great. It was just clear cut that the cameraman had a favorite. And they just followed her around. They interviewed her twice. And then later in the story, she's just sitting in the grass with friends. And you didn't really realize it was her. But the cameraman scoots over to the left and gets a shot of her again. I'm like, that dude definitely beat off to her in the editing bay.

[A]

It's like the old Cubs games when Arnie and Harry. Arnie and Harry would get together with.

[B]

The camera work director, Arnie. Yep. Hey, let's take a look out there. Arnie found a couple of fans. Wowee, that one looks pretty heavy into her fandom. I bet she never drowned. Steve. Inappropriate. Harry. I bet it's true, though. Those things are buoys. All right, Just call the game, Harry. I already found a bunch of folks from Joliet. Let's. Holy moly, look at that fan. I only find that girl again. I loved it. When being a Cubs fan growing up, the best thing about it was when it was 8 to 1 Mets because Harry was drunk. We're going to lose. And Arnie was searching for ass.

[A]

Well, there's nothing to watch in the field.

[B]

Nothing at all, though.

[C]

Yeah, commercial. You know when they go to commercial breaks. Harry's got that monitor there. Ernie scanning around.

[B]

Look, I knew as a teen boy. As a teen boy, I knew when I heard the words Cubs taking on the Braves today. Braves are gonna throw out. Got a great pitcher named Greg Maddox. Remember him as Cubs fans. And we're gonna have Dick Ruthven on the mound. I'm like, oh, we're just gonna be looking for ass all day. Ruthven sporting a 5 and 11 mark with a 6.3 ERA. Arnie, let's go to the crowd in the first inning. This one's already over. And he would. But leeches are leechers just or fest. By the sixth inning, when Harry started to get a little dizzy, that's when they'd go to the bleachers because the crowd was dizzy too.

[A]

You remember when they would have a broadcast from the bleachers here and there?

[B]

Oh, God. I want to know there's a girl out there somewhere and she's in her 60s or 70s now who was in one of those games where Harry was out there, was saying out there in the left center field. Broadcasting live on wgn. Harry and Stoney, we're with the fans today. Stoner. All right, Harry, keep your hands to yourself. I'll have a hard time doing that there, Steve. And one woman, I guarantee you, has the story of the time Harry threw fingers in during the game or did something wildly inappropriate or banged her at the bar. I heard she meet us after the bar there, dawg. That she won't be home till seven. I guess so. Don't do this to yourself. Quiet down, Stone. You see? Black and piece of garbage. I'm gonna get some honey on my fingers.

[C]

Stoney was the quiet one.

[B]

I know. Oh, Stoney did the job. Look, Stoney closed up when Harry's like, I am gonna her rotten Stone. Get me over to Murphy's and we're gonna nail that bitch. Looks like I have to come to the rescue. Harry's asleep in the car, but I'll do it. And the next thing you know, you're under Steve Stone. There's a woman out there with that story. One of your mothers or grandmothers has that story. It needs to called I Harry Carry. And I bet you it just ended the same way every time. Hey, I'm very tired. You should go home. There's cab fare on the dresser, though. I want that book so bad. Anyway, yeah, and that's the other. The thing that the guy said that worked at the urgent care. So the hot girls, you can identify them because they're always in sweatpants when they come in. A hot girl in sweatpants going to the urgent care. Rocco from Bottle Blonde got her. He gave her. He gave her his itchies. And the itchies happen. It's a thing.

[C]

Those throwbacks that channel 10 does. Pretty cool. The two and two together. Like back then at that move in day. And the guys, what's your. Yeah, I noticed your nickname is Go Daddy. Oh my God.

[B]

That's the guy. That's what they call me. Oh my God. That's Parsons. He did it. Yeah, it'd be pretty neat. But it was. It was. The thing that I noticed most was the authenticity of self. None of them were artificial, you know, None. It was the anti filter. It was just. They were just running with what they had been given. And that girl was like makeup free and cute. She had freckles and she was adorable. She's 70 now, so it's gross. But her eyelashes were human sized. I don't know one. By the way, ladies, I don't know one man who likes them to go past your forehead. Sometimes it's good. Like eyelashes are hot. You put some of the real kind of fakies on there. But the ones that are above your eyebrows. What are you doing? Like, what is that? I like a nice attempt, you know, if you don't have much and you put them on there, that's fine. Some of it's getting out of hand. You'll think a Venus fly traps coming at you. I don't even see eyes anymore. They're just. And they look like a glove. They're bent backwards.

[A]

Jurassic park pterodactyl hanging off your eyelid.

[B]

That weird thing make it really thick. Yeah, yeah. Every time they. Well, at least she's cooling the room down. But it was. And not, you know, humongous fake cans or an ass that looks like. I don't know what. I don't know what. You're doing it for each other. You're not doing it for us. Dudes. Don't. We're not liking that. Like you think we are. Maybe the boobs, but it still can't be clown cans, right? It has to be somewhat proportionate. A lot of. A lot of ladies in the. In the. They look poorly drawn. They look like this isn't real. Like you can't what's going on with you. And you know. Yeah, but if it's happening when they're 20, oh, my God. The future is just. Because you see every discretionary penny you earn is going towards modifying that woman's body. It never ends. And the lips, like, everybody's lips were normal. It was kind of a weird thing to see. Like an old news story where everybody was just kind of normal. Their lips were normal. Nobody had drawn on anything or puffed them up with some sort of weird look like I stung by bees. Just kind of normal. I don't know. It's neat. I liked watching that. And somewhere in between that. Somewhere between the very natural and what we got going on today, I guess the 90s are what I'm talking about. That was kind of a. There's some boob work going on Baywatch. The girls were still sort of natural.

[C]

It was the taint of surgery.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know if it was the taint. It was the infancy, not the taint of surgery. Yuck. That's my friend Dr. Brink's nickname. He's the taint surgeon. Brink is amazing. He just pulls livers out of people and stuffs them in other people. He does it like. It's like he's pulling transmissions too. Way he talks about it. No, but the 90s were the Pamela Anderson thing and that's when it went haywire. Is because it, you know, remember Nicole changed? Yeah. It got somewhere around 96. It's like, okay, everybody's gone too far. And then somewhere when the Kardashians started doing stuff and every woman started to look like Michael Jackson at the end. There's a thing with the Russell.

[C]

The next level.

[B]

I don't know. Just cut your face off. There's a. The Real Housewives were just on TV doing something and one of them, I don't even know, has her lips. It doesn't look human. And then she's got no nose whatsoever. Her eyes look like almonds. Like, she tried to. She looked at Pixar or something and said, make me look like that. And then I'm like, that's hideous. And then they showed the girl next to her and it was worse. And the two of them had attitude. And it's like, you two should be laughed at, like, publicly. But this is like. This is the standard of beauty for a lot of people. And I just don't see it. I like it, like, normal looking. Like, I understand. A little work here and there. That's fine. But moderation, ladies. It's getting crazy. But everything we laughed at with Michael Jackson is now the, the achievement that's the norm. Like a sliver of a nose and these weird, bulging ghoulish eyes.

[C]

He's middle of the road.

[B]

He's. Yeah, Michael would fit right in with these housewives. I hadn't seen it for a while but the housewives are all like, what are they doing?

[A]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to M and P Guns?

[D]

The choice is simple, Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact, right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have ammo ink 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[A]

Well, it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[D]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at m&p guns.com.

[A]

All right, HMS podcast time again to.

[B]

Let you know where to go for.

[A]

Some great comedy in the valley this week. Lots of entertainment coming to town with.

[B]

Vinnie Guadagnino of Jersey Shore fame coming.

[A]

In Friday and Saturday to stand up live at the Desert Ridge Improv. Up north you have the Sklar Brothers.

[B]

Thursday, Friday and Saturday and easts at the Tempe Improv it's Steve O Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups.

[A]

And for tickets go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com.

[B]

And tempeimprov.com it's John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the core. He's not going to be back on the court immediately but in a few months time he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain you've been living with the core Institute celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives. Lies for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do again. Go to the Core Institute.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness the the whole idea before with plastic surgery and back when it was good was that you didn't know someone had had it. It was a guessing game. It was a facelift. Maybe a little work here and there, some eyes. But you had to like, I think she might have had some work done. That was it. Now it's so. No, she had work done. Like, that's the. It's almost like a badge of honor.

[C]

Can you imagine if Michael's around and he jumped into the reality?

[B]

Oh, my God. Michael would be this week on Neverland. Oh, my God. I'm getting my lips done. And some Botox. Yeah. This guy says, I'm a hot guy, John. And I exclusively bang ugly girls. No STDs for me. Yeah, exactly. Ugly ones don't carry. The pretty ones do. Because they're dumb.

[A]

I mean.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, it's still though. If I was hot, I'd be banging pretty girls.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I'll take my chances.

[B]

STDs don't scare. AIDS is scary. That's the only one. And we cured that.

[A]

But you still with the ugly broads. You still got those 2am ones where.

[B]

You'Re like, yeah, you can't be ugly and have the announcements like, I've got hepatitis. Like, then you're ugly and useless. But if you're still hot, a girl will still bang you with the hepatitis. All you have to do is wrap it up because hot girls don't want to date guys. Like, and they're right. Like, really, like, that's not a thing. Smart ones, we're. Yeah. It's never been a problem. It's never been. I've never. I had friends in that could do it, like every day. It was like, oh, did you close with that girl? Yeah. How do you do it? Like, closers are. But it was just because he was good looking. There was a dude named Keith at Tony Roma's that banged everyone. Everyone. Unbelievable. And then, like, girls started quitting and stuff. And I think it's because Keith was just spreading the. Spreading the germs. Keith was like a trip to India. You were coming back needing shots. Yeah, that's the only one I was ever afraid of was aids. And I wasn't doing anything to catch aids. Aids. They tried to tell you, you know, you can get it normal now you can't. Not with what I'm doing. Nike. You cannot catch AIDS unless you're doing some AIDS catching stuff. And that is intravenous drug use and a lot of dirty poo play. That's a fact. You weren't catching. And still kids to this Day. Let me be. You're not going. You're not doing biblical sex and getting aids. It's just not a thing. Don't let people fool you. It's like those meth posters. This person tried it once and they're just a big human squ. It's like. No, it takes forever. Takes a long time. It's designed to scare. Don't do methane. But still have to lose a house. Yeah, yeah. Don't do meth. But it's. Look, the first few times you're gonna be fine. But now there's fentanyl. So don't take your chances. Just don't do drugs. You're an idiot if you do drugs. That's all. It's been easy to avoid that. I avoid drugs like hot girls avoided us. It was simple for them. And they never really had the. Yeah, it's pretty amazing. But yeah, I had friends who were great looking guys every day.

[C]

But then you have the one that is. Fits all of that but has no idea the power that they.

[B]

Oh, for a dude. Yeah, that's his.

[C]

And that's probably. Yeah, it's gotta be that way, Elsa.

[B]

And he ends up with something. And then dudes just go get shots. Girls, let's have it like soak in them for days and then go to that urgent care and a pair of sweats with an itch they can't touch for another few minutes. So they go to the bathroom. Yeah, hot girls bang hot guys and hot guys bang everything. So it makes sense to me that hot girls would be the ones that have STDs more often than me. The pigs. And that's the. That's God's cruel joke.

[A]

Was Keith the Chippendales dancer guy or something?

[B]

That was Brad. Brad was. Dude, that place was. There was no possibility of me ever touching a girl. At Tony Roma's we had Brad, the Chippendales dancer And Keith, the 6 foot 5 inch bartender that he dabbled at the gym a little. Keith nailed all of them and never once asked for ID. Who's the new hostess? Dude, Keith, she's 16. Who's the new hostess? Damn it. He's gonna have sex with her this weekend. But I bet you STD weekend it is. It's at ASU this weekend because it's cutting loose. You haven't unpacked first month back. Oh, you don't really have tough stuff going on. The fruit and then you just go to bars. You got your own room for the first time. Oh, that. Yeah. Welcome back parties. Where the seniors take advantage of the timid, scared freshmen, and they bring them over to the.

[C]

It's our first house. The guys living with six guys in a house.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

My parents bought the house.

[B]

Yep. It's just. It's std. The urgent care is probably staff extra over in Tempe this weekend.

[A]

All the broads are at that Fat Tuesdays, drinking those 151 slushies and all that kind of stuff.

[B]

This is fun. I've never actually ever been out of Missouri before. You don't say. Well, you know what? I could show you around a little bit, starting with my house, but it's being fumigated, so we got to go back to your place.

[C]

But what we hear is generations not like this.

[B]

Yeah, whatever. I know. I think that's. You know what? We keep seeing those reports. This generation doesn't have sex or drink. You know what I hear? Dumb parents that want to be. That won't admit their kids are dumb. Every. Every parent I've talked to is like, my kid doesn't drink, but all the. All of her friends do. She's a good kid. Oh, yeah. Is that her over there on the front lawn puking and laying down? Yeah. She's got the flu. No, she's drunk. You just. You parents don't like to admit their kids do stuff anymore because the moms.

[A]

Were whores back in the day. They don't want to see their little daughter that way.

[B]

And also, they want to be friends with them. Yeah. So they want to go out. They actually are hoping someday that mom will get invited to one of the sorority parties. I could still be in this. No, you can't. You're a bag of wrinkles. Get out of here. This is a. This is a hot group. I'm gonna learn a tic tac dance. Stop it. You're 46. Knock it off. Go put some adult pants on. What is this? Are you in a half shirt? I can see your Pringles tummy. Go put a shirt on. Ate a mommy makeover. They left a little Pringles tummy. Well, go put some of that horse balm or whatever that is. Clean that up. I can rub hibiscus on that. I don't know what you do. Just fix it. Here's another thing I don't think should happen anymore. Arcadia is. The guy emailed me earlier, and he's right. It's the Gilbert of Central Phoenix. However, the difference between Arcadia and Gilbert is it's actually people with tons of money. Gilbert is a good group of people. With money and then a bunch of people pretending that they fit into that mix. So it's like it. It's the Joneses and then the Joneses. But Arcadia is more annoying because I would say rich and they're jerks.

[C]

I'd say the profile is pretty even. The difference is more lds.

[B]

Well, there's a lot. But the. There's money in Gilbert. I'm not saying there isn't. I'm just saying that there's a lot of people who orbit around it. Arcadia is more insulated. Trust me. I lived there. If you lived south of the canal, the people wouldn't stop talking to you. And they couldn't pretend to have what the Arcadians have. Arcadian people are from another planet. And also they're all. They do kind of run the city pv Arcadia. They kind of run the. The. The higher class events, you know, and it's annoying. They have a ball at Monte Lucia every weekend. They love getting dressed up and playing. Playing house. The wives, the housewives do that. And they celebrate.

[C]

Global Ambassador.

[B]

Yeah, the one. Exactly. They. But they don't build those in Gilbert. They're building them around there for those Arcadians that can't wait to use the ballroom. Gilbert does this to a certain degree. Although I think Gilbert is different when it comes to celebrating diversity. Gilbert's afraid of it. You know, Shaq's Chicken Shack opens up in Gilbert. People get nervous of the clientele in Arcadia. They open things and just. Oh, both. I know, but they get so excited.

[C]

I think is closed.

[B]

Sure, sure. But there's not going to be a Lolos in Arcadia. It's not happening. They just know. But they have. They have their weird Arcadia stuff. And on the news the other day they were celebrating and some. Some woman was on there going, we're just so happy to have this kind of diversity in Arcadia. You have no diversity in Arcadia at all. It is. It is disgustingly Caucasian. But they get real happy. And then they celebrated this thing. It's an Ethiopian drinks and treats shop. What? Yeah. It's the opposite of what my brain does. I can't think of Ethiopian treats unless they're being dropped from the sky and have to fight somebody for it.

[C]

Known for their baked goods.

[B]

Yeah. Ethiopia is not known for any sort of delightful treats that Arcadians are gonna love. And if they're strong with coffee. Colombia up a little Ethiopian. Get us those beans. But it's this Ethiopian. It's going to close once they realize how bad Ethiopian food is. Eritrean. Eritrean cultures. Drinks and treats. From Ethiopia. Yeah, because that's what I think of when I think Ethiopia. I don't think flies and distended tummies. I think delicious sandwiches.

[C]

They're there to Correct.

[B]

Oh, my God. Yeah. And the best place to do Ethiopian food. Arcadia. Fly back home and give your people these treats. What are you doing in Arcadia? Why are you on 44th and Camelback? There's a global ambassador and a Jack in the Box. And by the way, Arcadia is so snobby, the Jack in the Box closed, so they could open something more Artesian.

[C]

Yeah, but where can you open up a place that gets the most guilt?

[A]

What's it called?

[C]

Arcadia.

[B]

It's called. I don't even know if they put the name in because I can't pronounce it. It's at Oasis Coffee. The teas are imported from Ethiopia and carefully selected by owners Asha and Abdul to provide authentic and unique experiences for Valley customers. Complemented by Aisha's homemade Ethiopian treats, which is air and begging. That's all I know. For Ethiopia's food, empty hands is what you pay for. There. Two cupped empty hands. That's an Ethiopian delight. You can't say that Ethiopia doesn't have food. It's the whole point of Ethiopia in America is that we're supposed to think they're foodless. You know what this place does on Thomas? This place hurts Ethiopia. Because if I see that Ethiopian restaurants are opening up, I assume All's wife. Those commercials that tell me Ethiopia's got a hunger problem. No, they don't.

[C]

You don't hear much snacks.

[B]

Did we fix it? Shouldn't there have been a parade? Look at those delicious treats. That's not. That's not the Ethiopia I was taught about. Oh, it already closed up. The website.

[A]

What's going on here?

[B]

What is this? I don't know about you guys, but Somalia and Ethiopia are close together. And I didn't see anybody looked well fed in Captain Phillips. Just saying.

[C]

Maybe it has changed.

[B]

I'm walking in there first thing. I'm the captain now, and I'm gonna eat a burger in front of him and watch him drool all over.

[A]

I don't think a hummus. When I think of Ethiopia and turkey sandwiches and chicken sandwiches, I think you.

[B]

Go there and there's pictures of the food, and you're like, I'll have the turkey sandwich and the hummus. We are out of that. Oh, you don't have any food, do you? No. We are an Ethiopian restaurant. We talk about food, but we have none now. I Don't want to come across as a bigot. But what I think you guys are doing is killing the donation jar over there for Ethiopia. Ethiopians aren't happier opening restaurants here in Arcadia. I know my friend Jani is from the Sudan. He's probably happy there's some African treats. Although I have had African food with him at that festival.

[C]

And that's our Ethiopian experience is a lot of terrorism. Okay. Sending money and.

[B]

But isn't that the point?

[C]

And that's all they show is this is what we're.

[B]

But it's basically saying it's cured. I've been told since I was a little kid they have no food and now they've got specific foods, baked goods.

[C]

And when they had the resources, they had them. So maybe.

[B]

What kind of Ethiopian again, make the trip. You made enough money to afford rent in Arcadia. If you really cared about Ethiopians, wouldn't you be serving a lesser community in the area? Just going. Look, we've been there. We know what it's like. Here's some. Here you go, Maryvale. You guys should have some food too.

[C]

Not my problem, Mark.

[B]

Right? Well, I think it's just bad branding. Ethiopian treats. It's a good band name, but it's also myth. It's a myth.

[C]

I've always heard the kind of. The bragging on the coffee side of it.

[B]

Yeah. Because they're all wired up. They love coffee. That's why their tummies are so expensive. Their tummies are so blown out. All I have is this coffee. It makes my stomach hurt.

[C]

Does make me picture like you go to a. An Italian restaurant or whatever, and they got all the ingredients stacked up like the tomatoes, the cans, the pastas there are their white bales. Squares stacked up.

[B]

You're telling me, though, that the tummies are distended just because of gluten? I thought it was because they were hungry. And it has nothing to do with it. There's too much gluten in our food. I cannot have this much gluten. Look at my belly. I am crazy bloated. Hallberg's morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness. 28k egg.

[A]

Hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.

[D]

Brett.

[B]

I sure do.

[D]

It's MMP Guns customs. MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[A]

Well, can you do this to my.

[D]

Gun, we can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no wait.

[A]

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[B]

ActionRideshop.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness and then people from here went over and said, I think they're starving to death. Like, no, they're just bloated. They've eaten too much. All those pictures of kids drinking out of that same silver cup, looking at the camera like, I haven't had food since I got here. Now they got Ethiopian treats in Arcadia. That's insensitive. I'll get the one. I'll get the letters. I'll be writing checks. The Ethiopians are mad. I'm like, oh great. Well, I won't have to write a check. I'll just get him like a gift card to AJ's. A gift card to AJS. This is better than money. But yeah, that's just. Look, I'm the only one who's Standing up for him. I think it's insensitive at best. Yeah, it's like saying, you know, cancer is cured to people with cancer. It's like, no, it's not. Brady would hate that if they opened that. Don't worry about that cancer store. It's cured. I'm like, wait a second. Not yours, though. Like, oh, I'm actually still Ethiopian, so I don't get any. And that's what Arcadia moms will go over and just brag about it. Well, I'm so worldly. I had some Ethiopian croissants this morning.

[C]

Spot to open up.

[B]

Well, it's for them. And it is smart because they'll think that they're. But isn't that bitchy, too, for the lady in Arcadia to get up, doll herself up, and run over and have food from Ethiopians when no Ethiopians are actually eating?

[A]

Oh, they don't see it that way.

[C]

You feel cultured.

[B]

Yeah, that's right. Fly to Ethiopia. You've got the money. Go have some real Ethiopian delights.

[A]

Nobody's doing that.

[B]

Of course they're not. They have to have it open up next to global ambassador for them to actually recognize Ethiopians. Have food. And I've said this for years, too, an authentic Ethiopian restaurant. The waiter comes by, scared, what do you want? I'm like, what do you got? We have bowls of rice. That is it. What do you want? And then whatever you serve. And then they have a little drone come over and drop the food onto your table. And then warlords come over, and you have to fight them for it. And then you run out later with gunshots and screaming and, like, babies crying. That's that.

[C]

To me, that's an adventure dinner.

[B]

That's an authentic Ethiopian restaurant. How is your day going? No, don't do that. Treat me like we're in Ethiopia. If I came here, I want the experience. I want some kid covered in flies with his stomach stuck out coming and asking me for some. Are you going to finish that? Yeah. Get out of here. Take the flies with you. Your health hazard. I want. That is Ethiopia. And I'll get a call. Ethiopia is actually a beautiful country. No, it's not. It is not a beautiful country. Anyway, Arcadians, they're as bad as Gilbertians with their pat themselves on the back moment moments. The news covered it. Have you ever wondered what an Ethiopian treat tastes like? Yeah. Let me have one real quick. Delicious. It's air.

[A]

So south of the canal is like hillbilly Arcadia, or what they call it?

[B]

Arcadia Light. They won't even let them have it. There's signs on the street. Signs that say Arcadia Light. Don't fool yourself into thinking you're in the heavy part. Oh wow. They go over by go one street south off of the canal as Campbell. And the houses are nice and stuff, but the signs remind you you're not in it. You're in Arcadia Light. L, I, T E. They made it cute.

[A]

The sign.

[B]

Even signs say Arcadia Light. Wow. You're the diet Arcadia. You don't have all the calories or money. Arcadia is annoying. I moved out because if you. I, I. When I put a sports. I was mowing my grass and dialing up the house a little bit and my neighbor came over and said, are you selling? Like, how did. Why do you think that? And I'm like, oh, you're doing some extra work. And I like, you're selling your house, aren't you? And I'm like, I'm thinking about it. I'm not kidding you. There were six for Sale signs on my street the day before mine went up. And I was trying to jump ahead and get the most because I knew these people can't. They can't see a new car in a driveway without getting a new car. They can't watch somebody out in their front yard without getting out in their front yard too and talking. They. They're. It's this weird Stepford Wives thing. Beautiful, beautiful homes and stuff. But it is weird.

[A]

Over there is Arcadia Light. Like Gilbert, then Gilbert is the.

[B]

Gilbert is Arcadia Light Light. Oh yeah. Because now Arcadia Lights houses are million and a half dollars for 1800 square feet. Because you're close to Arcadia. You can smell it. Yeah, it's. It's nuts there. And Arcadia is just priced itself. It's 4 million bucks. My old house is probably $3 million now. It was 2600 square feet. It's crazy.

[C]

But now aren't they, I mean, scraping and rebuilding houses all the way down to Thomas.

[B]

Oh yeah. Cuz they're. Cuz it's close to Arcadia and you can't get in there anymore. It's. That's for, that's an elite status now. Get some heavy money in that area. But they, they still pat themselves on the back. And if you put a, if you put, you know, Arcadia Plumbing, that's the only ones they'll use. If you put the word Arcadia over your business in that neighborhood, that's all they'll use. Arcadia hates when there's. What they hate is something that was theirs scooching over to Gilbert. Hate it. This was ours. And now they have one in Gilbert. Never mind. Now, that's.

[C]

Once they find that out, now it's a chain.

[B]

Yeah. It has to stay theirs. Little Woody's is a perfect example. Dude, Tucker, your buddy Tucker opened Little Woody's. And it is a small warehouse with a couple pinball machines and drinks. And the place packs up every day. It's not even a dive bar. It's just a small. And it's. You know what the cool thing about it is? Own. The Arcadians know there's no sign. So they think that they're leading you in there. Only I know about this. And then you go in there. It's like. It's like. Remember when Bugs Bunny used to. You get a peek into his hole and there was like a huge. Like a ball. Yeah. Like hundreds of people. That's what this is. Like. You go in there and you think, oh, it's a little hole in the ground. It's the most popular bar in the world. And it's really. It is kind of a cool spot. But the people inside are the problem. Arcadians. I had to get out of there. I get a car. I got a new Jeep or something. And then I'd look around, like, within a week, seven, eight, nine new cars just on my street. I'm like, these people can't. They can't let you have a moment for yourself without climbing on. It's weird. Really weird. Enjoy your own life. Quit peeking into everybody else's house. You get a new tree. Everybody's getting new landscaping. I got some new pavers put in my front. Everybody's doing pavers. Like, Jesus. Go down my old street. Street. And the houses that have been redone are all the same. They. Oh, the neighbors did it. Okay. I'm gonna do the exact same house across the street. And it was a company called Rafter House. Come in and just plop down the exact same home over and over and over again. And they all remember the big Trent.

[C]

They were doing the front yards. Your front yards were backyard. Basically putting a fire.

[B]

Oh, fire pits in the front. You had a little place in your front. Which I'm fine with. As long as it's not. Yeah, that's my old place. I think they've redone. No, that's pretty much. And they're just sold again. 2.1. Yeah, it's pretty good. It's not a huge house by any stretch. It's 2.2.2 million. And they'll get more than that. That's nuts. Says 3, 200 square feet. I think they added on a little bit. I know that they took up. There's no backyard anymore at all. It's crazy. Nuts. And they haven't done much since I left. See all the pictures? That's pretty good, though. Yeah. Arcadia. Enjoy your Ethiopian treats, you horrible women. Crazy 7 26. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there?

[A]

Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop, of course. And now's the time. It's a nice day today so far. So now's the time to get out there and get on the trails. And no better place to start than at Action Ride Shop. Get that bike tuned up, pick up a new bike, or you can even rent a bike if you're not sure you want to do that thing yet. So Action Ride Shop, two locations right there on Gilbert Road and Southern. Yeah, Southern Gilt Road.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

COG plus the brand new one right there, and McDowell and Power Road.

[B]

So. Actionrideshop.com I'm in an argument with my friend Winston online. He goes, sudanese or Ethiopian women are the prettiest women in the world, you crazy Sudanese. I had those. I had that party at my house of Sudanese people. The Sudan. I've never seen anything like it. The women, the white women were like. I've never seen anything prettier than what I'm seeing right now. Especially because the ones that were asking for money for Sudan were the Lost Boys. Janney and his friends were all there, and they're probably all in their 40s at the time. And then all their kids showed up, and they were all at asu, and the Lost Boys had families. And these women came in, and they're all like, six two and toned. And it's a skin color I've never seen in my life. And it was so pretty. I remember Megan look at me going, these are the most beautiful people I've ever seen in my life. I'm like, get away from me. You're gonna think I'm married. Get out of here. I'm working on this. Whatever this girl's name is. I can't say it. My tongue doesn't click that hard. Yeah, the Sudanese are better. Yeah, Ethiopian women who escaped and got some food. Maybe Winston. But even you, Winston, aren't going to any Ethiopian restaurants. You keep asking me to go to Eric's Family Barbecue. I know, I know. What? You laugh. If it was a toss up between seeing Ethiopian ladies at the Ethiopian Treats Cafe or Eric's Family Barbecue, I can guarantee You. We're hopping in Winston's giant truck and we're rolling over together. We're taking the long rap. Don't start to fool me into thinking Ethiopia is a quality destination. Winston over barbecue from get out of here. You crazy? I'll use his words against him. You crazy.

[A]

All right. On the list, Metallica Ride Lightning for the storms last night and then Most. Megadeth. Hangar 18 because he announced his last album yesterday. But most of it's going along with the tampon broadcast. So System of A Down toxicity. Summer Breeze from Typo. Negative. If you want Blood ac DC Blood for Blood from Hell. Yeah. Bleeding Me from Metallica. The Runaways. Cherry Bomb for the Vampire Tea Bag. That's what the guy said. And Skinner. That smell. We had a couple requests for that for Tampon Broad.

[B]

That's disgusting. All right, I'll let you ride this one. I don't want anything to do with it.

[A]

I don't know. I like the typo. Or the Skinner, actually. For our conversation earlier.

[B]

All right, go. A little typo. Negative. Summer Breeze, the COVID of the. Is It America who sang Summer Breeze?

[A]

Seals and Croft.

[B]

Seals and Croft, that's right. And Typo. And Peter Steele decided to break out of Dracula. Sang it. Summer Breeze Makes me feel fine. Take me to Death Tones. Winston said, all right, next time we're going to Ethiopian food, then Eric's barbecue. Yeah, because after Ethiopian food, I should be starving. I guess I have Ethiopian food every day because I breathe. I'm inhaling Ethiopian food. I'm exhaling Ethiopian food. It's the only thing I've ever known that they get. I'll take your word for it. It. Let's go to Eric's Family Barbecue instead. I know for sure I'm going to be satisfied there. My pool guy said, man, I. I work over there. I live by. At Oasis. The Ethiopian thing. He said all the neighborhoods around there now have new signs up that are nicknames. Arcadia Light, Arcadia Orchards, Arcadia West. I don't even know about Arcadia west. But yeah, they. They all try to tag it in there because their house property goes up if anybody sees the word Arcadia places bananas.

[C]

And is it even considered a city? It's just self.

[B]

No, it's just a neighborhood.

[A]

It's Phoenix.

[B]

It's Phoenix. Yeah, it's the neighborhood. What are you gonna do? Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.

[C]

It's Brady from the HMS Crew for Game Day Men's Health, the valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations you should do what I did and schedule a complimentary appointment which is quick and easy. You'll meet with a certified medical director and figure out what treatments that can help you, whether you need more energy, medical weight loss or sexual health treatments. Game Day Men's Health Clinic is a true game changer. Go to gameday phoenix.com and schedule your complimentary appointment today. Get back in the game with Game Day Men's Health.

[B]

It's John holmberg here for turfmonstersaz.com if that yard of yours doesn't look great all of the time, if it is work all of the time, it does not have to be. Turf Monsters can come to your house and make your yard a beautiful showcase place for you, your family, your pets. Yeah, it's pet friendly as well. Anything you can dream up in that backyard they can do. Tell them Homeburg sent you. Get 10% off Turf Monsters. Az.com It's John Holmer here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk again about my friends at Trajan Wealth. I always talk to you about the will and trust, the estate plan plan that I put together with Kent at Trajan Wealth. Kent was unbelievable and man, you want to make sure medical power of attorney and power of attorney are established because if something bad happens and you don't have anybody speaking for you, somebody you don't know will keep control of your life even when you're not in control. All you have to do is get it done. Today at Trajan Wealth 480-990-3300 Trades & Wealth legal services are offered through trades in the state law firm LL.