08-18-25 - FULL SHOW - MONDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show

Full Show Recap – August 18, 2025

Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
(Note: Ads and non-content sections omitted—content begins around 01:00.)

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Main Theme

This spirited Monday episode dives into the intersection of politics, pop culture, generational attitudes, personal relationships, and good old-fashioned absurdity. The crew begins by breaking down recent US–Russia events, contemplates America’s generational shift toward viral video gratification, riffs on relationships and gender roles, then explores intensely debated conspiracy theories and the everyday struggles of midlife men. The tone is irreverent and quick-witted, mixing current events, biting sarcasm, and signature Arizona radio banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. US–Russia Flex-Off: Trump vs. Putin in Alaska

(01:00–16:00)

• John is fascinated by the recent U.S.–Russia summit in Alaska.
• Describes Trump’s display of military power—B-2 bombers and fighter jets roaring overhead as Trump met Putin.
• Focuses on "man flexes"—body language, the infamous Trump handshake, the ‘Vlad walk’ (Putin’s gunslinger strut).
• Compares the international spectacle to Scottsdale ‘flexing’ at a valet stand.
• Notable Quote:
  “I want to be more like Vladimir Putin. …There’s nobody with a cooler walk. That’s the KGB walk, gunslinger style.” —John Holmberg (02:20)
• Panel jokes about the tiny stature of Putin vs. Trump, the strategic staging, and the showmanship as “ultimate America.”
• Notable Quote:
  “No one else has access to fly a B2 bomber over the valet, which is pretty much what this was.”—John Holmberg (05:15)
• Observations on the ‘manly handshake’ and visual one-upmanship.
• Panel agrees: regardless of political views, the spectacle was “cool as hell,” bringing out a moment of united pride.

2. On War, Generational Cynicism, and “Viral Video Nation”

(10:47–13:59)

• Debate about whether world peace is possible or even a mainstream priority anymore.
• John argues today's younger generations are focused on “cool videos and facial surgery,” reflecting a deeper resignation about endless global conflict.
• Emphasizes the new American spirit: “Did you get it on video?”
• Notable Quote:
  “The future looks bright. Bring on AI… While we’ve got it, practice your Vlad walk.”—Brett Vesely (12:03)

3. Social Change & Relationship Roles: “Man Keeping”

(23:52–32:43)

• “Man Keeping” is the term for women feeling burdened as both emotional caretakers and therapists for their male partners.
• John and the panel lampoon the evolution: women once complained men were stoic; now, emotional men are a “burden.”
• Classic sitcoms and nostalgia invoked: from Mad Men’s Don Draper to Leave it to Beaver—“strong, silent type” glorified.
• Notable Quotes:
  “Communication is the number one problem with divorce. I guarantee you.”—John Holmberg (30:46)
  “It used to be called kin keeping. Now it’s man keeping. You talk too much, you realize you don’t really like that person.”—John Holmberg (27:08)
• Tongue-in-cheek advice: stop over-communicating, and maybe talk less to save marriages.

4. Outrageous Birth Story: The “Poop Baby at the Holiday Inn”

(44:29–55:00)

• Story: 45-year-old woman in Toronto gives birth in a hotel room toilet, never realizing she was pregnant (“cryptic pregnancy”).
• Panel goes to comedic extremes imagining the scene, the marital fallout, and the logistics ("That’s a divorce sound.").
• Dissect economics and other details (“Holiday Inn is never the destination, only an emergency option!”).
• Comparison to personal experiences and a humorously skeptical breakdown of the woman’s plausibility.
• Notable Quote:
  “If you can look at a woman and say, ‘I don't know if she’s pregnant or not,’ get out. Get out right now!” —John Holmberg (48:24)

5. Conspiracy Theories: Taylor Swift, Satanism, and Secret Cabals

(64:48–76:25)

• Panel discusses outlandish theories, courtesy of guest Dave Nash:
  • Taylor Swift as a “Satanist,” signaling via “black cube” trophies
  • Celeb cabals controlling population, connections to the Illuminati, Tom Hanks & Oprah ‘eating babies,’ etc.
• Deep skepticism but much laughter at the immense reach of such conspiracies.
• Consistent punchline: If these dark forces are real, why are they so slow and bad at their job? (reference to global population growth)
• Notable Quotes:
  “If Satan has all that power, why is he slow-burn? Just take over!” —John Holmberg (71:11)
  “I’d gladly start doing that. Show me the money.” —John Holmberg (73:46)
• Shift to Taylor Swift’s appeal: Men don’t find her overwhelmingly sexy—she’s called a “white Asian” and “beetle ass”—but women see her as relatable.

6. Pool Tables, Hobbies, and Midlife Frustration

(39:20–41:32)

• John recounts his recent obsession with playing pool—excelling at 7-ft tables, but failing on “the big-boy” 9-ft tables.
• Relatable take on the frustration of new hobbies after age 50.
• Jokes about making excuses (“it must be the balls!”).

7. Morning Sickness Audience: Baby Bottle Alcoholics

(97:04–108:11)

• Hilarious exchange after John muses: Anyone with airplane-size alcohol bottles in their car is an “alcoholic.”
• Flood of emails: listeners defending themselves, justifying “football roadies,” wives hiding drinking, etc.
• “If you’re angry about being called an alcoholic, you’re probably an alcoholic.”
• Notable Quote:
  “If you leave your house in the morning—keys, wallet, gum, fireball shooter—you’re an alcoholic.” —John Holmberg (108:05)

8. Plastic Surgery, Lip Fillers, and Self-Image

(144:39–153:39)

• Listener asks for advice: His 36-year-old wife wants multiple surgeries. The guys mock “giant lips” and the addictive spiral of cosmetic procedures.
• Philosophize: “When plastic surgery is good, you don’t know they had it.” (144:39)
• Notable Quote:
  “If you notice plastic surgery, it’s bad plastic surgery.” —John Holmberg (144:49)
• Banter about aging, gender expectations, and the perils of doing “just one more thing.”

9. NFL Cheating, Tom Brady, and Sports Conspiracies

(131:02–138:48)

• John voices suspicion over Tom Brady—Raiders co-owner and Fox broadcaster—being allowed in other teams’ walk-throughs: “That’s cheating!”
• Panel recalls Deflate-gate, “Brady Rules,” flaws in the NFL’s approach, and predicts another scandal will emerge.

10. Wild Viral Videos—Brady’s “Entertainment Drill”

(117:59–128:49)

• Reviews of the World Humanoid Robot Games: AI robots tripping and fighting to comic effect.
• Other segments: Mario Kart targeted by PETA, woman launches pasta ingredients from her face, mishaps in playground slides, and a series of over-the-top, crass viral clips.
• Laughter, disgust, and marveling at how the world just keeps getting weirder.

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Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• Putin’s Walk: “Vladimir gets out of his plane... nobody with a cooler walk than Vladimir Putin ever.” – John Holmberg (02:20)
• About the B2 Bomber Flex: “No one else has access to fly a B2 bomber over the valet, which is pretty much what this was.” – John Holmberg (05:15)
• On Generational Change: “The future looks bright. Bring on AI… practice your Vlad walk.” – Brett Vesely (12:03)
• On Relationships: “Communication is the number one problem with divorce. I guarantee you.” – John Holmberg (30:46)
• On Cryptic Birth: “If you can look at a woman and say, ‘I don't know if she’s pregnant or not,’ get out. Get out right now!” – John Holmberg (48:24)
• Conspiracy Skepticism: “If Satan has all that power, why is he slow-burn? Just take over!” – John Holmberg (71:11)
• On Taylor Swift: “Taylor Swift is a white Asian. She’s got frog butt.” – Listener Matthew, read by John (72:47)
• On Drinking in the Car: “If you leave your house in the morning—keys, wallet, gum, fireball shooter—you’re an alcoholic.” – John Holmberg (108:05)

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Segment Timestamps

• Trump/Putin Alaska meeting analysis: 01:00–16:27
• US military flex & American psyche: 16:28–18:52
• Gen Z, viral video culture: 10:47–13:59
• Social commentary on ‘man keeping’: 23:52–32:43
• Hotel Room ‘Poop Baby’ Story: 44:29–56:33
• Taylor Swift Conspiracies & Satanism: 64:48–76:25
• Pool Hobby Rant: 39:20–41:32
• Baby Bottle Alcoholics & Listener Email Storm: 97:04–108:11
• Plastic Surgery Advice Column: 144:39–153:39
• Brady’s “Entertainment Drill”/Viral Videos: 117:59–128:49
• Tom Brady NFL Conspiracy: 131:02–138:48

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Summary Highlights

Energy & Tone:
Irreverent, rapid-fire, and full of cultural references, the show blends current events with deep Arizona-centric humor and sharp observations. The recurring theme is: Life is complicated, people's priorities are shifting, but at least we come together to marvel at the absurd.

For the Uninitiated:
If you missed the episode, expect to laugh at the world’s madness, question your own pop culture hot takes, and hear a refreshing (if occasionally controversial) perspective on everything from world diplomacy to your own kitchen table.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Brett]

It's John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the Core. He's not going to be back on the court immediately, but in a few months time he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain. You've been living with the Core Institute celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're. You're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do again. Go to the Core Institute dot com. What do you think makes the perfect snack?

[Brady]

Hmm, it's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.

[Brett]

Could you be more specific?

[Brady]

When it's cravinient.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Brady]

Like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter, available right down the street at AM pm. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can grab in just a second at a.m. pM.

[Brett]

I'm seeing a pattern here.

[Brady]

Well, yeah, we're talking about what I.

[Brett]

Crave, which is anything from am pm.

[Brady]

What more could you want?

[Brett]

Stop by AM PM where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's Cravenience ampm. Too much good stuff. Morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Monday. It is 5:45. The morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's to ready to go on a glorious Monday here in paradise. As we stock up the race. Get a little warmer each and every day. I. I've been practicing all weekend long since Friday afternoon. I'm going to say it. I'm going to say it loud. I'm going to say it proud. I want to be more like Vladimir Putin. That's right. I watched that almost in its entirety. If I had access, I'd want to be more like Trump because I've never seen. Look, you can hate Trump all you. I've never seen a human flex on another human as hard as Trump did on Vladimir up in Alaska. I don't Know if you saw that? But they get out of the planes. They park their planes. It was so awesome. It was such a movie. There's Air Force One. There's whatever they call Russia's plane. Not as good, but okay. Air Force One's a badass on a Runway. Trump gets off of it. Feel how you do about Trump. He walks off there, kind of meanders down the red carpet. Big whoop. Waits for his. They have a red carpet going north and south and one going east and west that meets Vlad at his plane. Vladimir gets out of his plane and he starts his walk. I'm like, all right, one. Nothing. Vladimir. Or actually, it's one. One if you count the planes. Planes. America wins. Walk on red carpet. There's nobody with a cooler walk than Vladimir Putin ever. And I couldn't figure out why.

[John Holmberg]

Just strutting like George Jeff.

[Brett]

No strut up. Dead right arm. Left arm swings. It's gunslinger. And I'm like, what's that about?

[Brady]

What's he doing, watching Westerns?

[Brett]

No. KGB trained you to never move your right arm. Keep it close to your gun at all times. He's KGB trained. Coolest walk I've ever seen. So cool. It was. So I'm walking around the house.

[Brady]

Told you that.

[Brett]

Or is that how. Why does he walk that way? It's such an obviously different walk. He lets it go every once in a while and looks around like we're good. Right hand in. And he just keeps that thing tight. Walk is cool. Walking around the house all week and practicing my Vlad walk, which you may notice is my new awesome walk in the hallway. Vlad walking. That's what I'm going to be doing. And you guys should do it, too, because it's cool. So Trump's like, all right. Nice walk. Two of them meet on the red carpet, start walking together. Can't believe you guys didn't see this. They get to.

[Brady]

I noticed, too.

[Brett]

They get to the. They get to the part where they're going to do a little stage pose. They have a little stage set up for them. Oh, by the way, there's a B2 bomber and four F35s, I think. I don't know what. They were just going to go overhead real quick. Oh, yeah, sorry about that. I forgot we were flying some B2s over our little meeting. At about 140ft, there's another barely above them. Vlad kind of stops and looks up. He's like, I see what you did here, Mother. Nice move. Nice move with the things we don't have. And you do practice. That was us. Sorry about that, Vlad. I forgot we were running some drills with the four coolest fighter jets in the world. And, oh, yeah, the B2 bomber, the Stealth. And you don't see or hear it till they're right over them, and they look at each other like, all right, mother, it's on. And then it's just a thing. They're shaking hands. Trump. Trump, I think, won the whole, like, let's watch this battle after the B2S one. You ever see it down in, like, Bottle Blonde or Scottsdale, a dude rolls out in valet, and he's got, like A, you know, McLaren comes in the valet and everybody's like, pops out of it. It's gonna make me look like a moron. Well, he's worse is when he's standing there waiting for the valet to bring it back, and he's got the McLaren to heavy flex on all the other guys. He might have $20,000. He might be renting that for the night. But it's a heavy flex because then when my Jeep rolls up behind it, it's like, he's poor. And it's immediately a loss. Even though my Jeep's nice, it's not that heavy flex. I've never seen a flex like that because no one else has access to fly a B2 bomber over the valet, which is pretty much what this was. Got my own plane. It's already better than yours. Oh, and by the way, when we're about to float over 38 hours in the air, clobbered. I ran in a day. Remember them? Haven't heard them for a while. And then came home. Yeah, that's mine. Awesome.

[Brady]

The thing I noticed.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Was the. When they came in to talk to the press and they had podium set up.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And you had adult podium and little boy podium.

[Brett]

And that's the difference, too, is there's a size difference. It's about a foot. Vlad's not a tall man. And Donald is.

[Brady]

Donald noticeably up and over.

[Brett]

Trump read about this by request. Each guy got their podium exactly as they wanted. Yeah. Because had Vlad stood behind a podium that's the same size as Trump, it would have been his shoulders and his head.

[Brady]

Very.

[Brett]

So he wanted his chest up. They asked like, what do you need? They have their Very specifically designed for TV setups. Trump wins the end battle, though, because he does that. Give me. Give me you big boy handshake when he grabs your hand and pulls you.

[Brady]

In and tops it.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's. It was awesome. It was great.

[John Holmberg]

It was like, it was like the Barry Wood memes in the back in the day. It was like, Trump just showed up and there's that huge Berry Wood hog.

[Brett]

And the B2 stealth. Might as well had a hog. I've never been a prouder American, except for my big takeaway, personally, is I gotta start doing that Vlad walk. That is one of the coolest things ever. When he's on it.

[Brady]

I got to see it.

[Brett]

It's so cool. And you hardly. When you notice it, you're like, what's he doing? Like polio. Nope, you're not.

[John Holmberg]

Crip walking. Your Vlad walking.

[Brett]

Vlad walking. I'm strong. Vlad walking from here on out. And people won't know why they're intimidated, but they will know. Yeah, it's BG song. It's the Russian Staying Alive. Moscow, Saturday Night Fever. It. Be careful of the hair. Don't touch my hair. That's exactly what it's going to be. But I. Yeah, I walked. I watched him walk, and I've been practicing the Vlad walk all week. And I'm like, that has to be a thing. That's too unique now. He was soft on it at the Alaska thing, even though I noticed it. He was soft on it. I went back and watched some. Some real Vlad walks up in Russia especially, really likes to do it, because they know that that hand is just. It sticks to his. It's such a gunslinger move. It's so cool. So, yes, politically, you're gonna. You dick. You terrorist. I don't care if he's a dictator or anything else. You can be a dictator and have the coolest walk in the world. And he happens to have. It was. It was a smooth, cool thing. If you had. If I want our. I want. And Trump's walk was terrible, but he zigzagged. And I guess if somebody's tried to shoot me, I'd start zigzag walking, too. But, yeah, he'd walk in that red carpet. He was like. He was going to leave it for a second, and it was like he was bouncing off the rails. It was like one of those bowling alleys with the. The bumpers. Yeah, it was this red carpet, and he's kind of all over the place. And he finally gets to a spot and he stands and then Vlad comes out, and I'm like, all right, the plane. We win that plane battle. But, my God, is that a walk? And then they showed him afterwards, sitting there talking with each other with some interpreter. Vlad's knees were given out, so he's, like, shaking and Barely standing up and like, you'd have to bend him and stand up. It was this weird kind of knee quiver.

[Brady]

Wobbly.

[Brett]

Yeah. Well, I don't know if he was wobbly. I don't know if he was just. Or he had to pee. I was like, something was going on. Anyway, big meeting on Friday, Another one today. But that flyover, I mean, if you didn't have an ounce of America left in you, and I'm talking to you lefties, if you didn't have an ounce of America left in you, you should be ashamed of yourself because that was awesome. Even Toledo was probably like, all right, we got to stop on the Trump bashing around the house. And probably took his no King shirt off for a second and thought to himself, I gotta be better about this. Because that was ultimate America. Ultimate. I'm getting all amped up. I wanted a B2 to go over just for no reason. Every house in America for some reason. That war beast. That's why we love it at baseball games. That's why nobody boos that Democrat or Republican. You know what? We unite over kick ass stuff. We should make Amazon delivery drones shaped like the B2. Because every day we'd feel like the best you US citizens we can be. You can hate Trump all day if he's like, hold on a second, I've got a little surprise for you. When that goes over, you're like, all right. That was awesome. I hate you. That was awesome. Rosie o' Donnell would like allow that. Maybe not her. She's a complete. But still, that was pretty great. So I was, I was pretty proud of America on Friday. You guys didn't watch any of the. It was pretty great.

[Brady]

I watched a little bit of it.

[Brett]

It was pretty great. Just the arrivals and Alaska. That's theirs. It's theirs. It's awesome. We're, you know, 40ft away from each other at the closest tip. And that's what Vlad kept saying, we're neighbors. We're neighbors. We gotta be better neighbors. Yeah. Remember when we bought this for like 7 cents an acre? I think we got it for like 6 million bucks. Great deal. I make deals. You did not do that. Yeah, but I took you to it. Remember it? That's awesome. Like showing. It's like showing. You know, your ex wife comes back to see what you did with the house and it's better. It's like, damn. Was pretty great. So USA won. I've been thinking about it all week. And USA won. Russia 0. On the big grand scale, he won a couple battles But I highly recommend strut like Vlad. And I think the.

[Brady]

I can just hope something comes out of it. Something happens.

[Brett]

Great. I don't care. Just so long as it's cool. Videos. That's all this world's about anyway. Look, Brady, we've lost touch with America to the point where it's like, yeah, golly, I hope for peace, blah, blah, blah. It's never gonna happen. I'm 53. This will. It's whack a mole. Wars are whack a mole. He might fix this one and another one will pop up somewhere else. I'm done with that. Cool videos. That's all the I'm. I'm all on board what the next generation is about, which is awesome videos and facial surgery. I think that's basically all they care about. And that's implants. Yeah. And because I'm telling you, they've got the right idea. The way your rose colored glasses work is the way the next generations. Who cares? Is my TikTok getting clicks? That's the way they work too. They have no real. They're oblivious to the idea of peace in the world because they're the first generation to accept that's not happening. It isn't either. And you can say, oh, we've got to get a deal. And golly, I hope that happens. It does matter. You'll say, they're wasting so much money in this war, another one will come up. You don't even know about them. I didn't even know that Cambodia was at war for a while this year and we stopped that. Or Uganda and what? Look, they're everywhere. So blah, blah, blah, to your gosh, I hope peace happens. Waste of time.

[Brady]

The sky is falling. Just live your life.

[Brett]

The sky's always been falling. It's really not. It's just the way things work. This next generation's got it figured out. The one coming up, the one that's too sensitive. A little bit too sensitive, I'll tell you that. But you know, so long as the videos are cool, I guess the future looks bright. Bring on AI. We won't need people soon. But while we've got it, practice your Vlad walk. That's what I say. Thank you. It was pretty great. But in as much as we all hate people under the age of 25 now because they're just brutally bad. Really awful. They do have that part figured out, which is. Yeah, here's. Here's Vlad getting off the plane. Brett found it. Now when he first. This is. This is the weakest version of what I saw him do trying to find it. So now Trump. Trump getting off his plane. And by the way, Air Force One especially parked next to Russia. And by the way, the Russians had to refuel with cash.

[John Holmberg]

There it is.

[Brett]

Because they're not allowed. That's. Watch that right hand when he gets it in. It's such a cool strut. He keeps it tight. Trump is all over the road on his watch. He's just barely banging it. Like, he. He zigzags up and down this rug like there's no tomorrow. It's the weirdest walk like Trump. And he looks. He looks like he's a little bit lost. He starts moving the other side of the rug. No, Biden would have made that. Biden would have never made this strut. He's got that left arm swinging, right arm tight to the right. Vladimir's gotta walk.

[John Holmberg]

He is shorter.

[Brett]

He's tiny.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't notice that.

[Brett]

Yeah, wait till he gets. And then Trump grabs his hand and says, that's it. And then I just. I just Google search. Vladimir Putin walking, and it's everywhere. Trump starting to lose a little interest. We're getting a little wobbly. He gets to the end of date. Now, originally, they showed his whole walk. He zigzags on that carpet like something's wrong with him. Then. Then Vlad finally gets to the end of the Runway here. This is a different video. Oh, it's okay. This is good stuff. He waits for Vladimir all the way down like they're about to get married. Hurry up, Vlad.

[John Holmberg]

Let's go.

[Brett]

Vlad strutting, man. There's nothing you can do. He's got that tight arm. So I get applause there, kgb. There you go.

[John Holmberg]

Nice walk, Vlad.

[Brett]

Great walk, Vladimir. God damn, you're all mad, except you've met your match, my friend. Look at you walking. And he's clapping for him as he shows up. Look at that.

[Brady]

No wonder he's going to walk so tight. And then he only's got one.

[Brett]

He's got a tight carpet. Yeah. And then he tightens up and he pulls his arm in because Trump always wins the handshake.

[Brady]

How you doing, little man?

[Brett]

I can't hear you from down there. Do you need a soapbox to get up to, big boy Ears where mine live. There it is. Look at that strut. Right arm tight. Trump's walk is terrible compared to that dude. He's a gunslinger. That's old west stuff right there. Look at that thing. Left arm swings, right arm bobs. And you should see him when he's doing it fully because it is tight.

[John Holmberg]

That big of a dude. Or is Trump's a big man.

[Brett]

Just Trump's a big man. Combination. Both things are right. I think Vlad's probably about Brady size. And then Trump's a gigantic version of Brady. Yeah, that's cool. That's just that left arm swing. I would. I'd pay that man. Teach me to wander. Checking out his watch this. Oh, sorry, I forgot to tell you. The B2 bombers just went over the other video. The cameraman gets surprised and shoots the planes for a second sloppily. That was right when it happened. When Vlad looked around like, what was that? Oh, yeah, sorry. Stealth bomber. You don't have those. We've got loads of them. We would kill you in a war. That's a. Essentially what he just said. You can't even beat Ukraine. We've got those. We would kill you in a war. Pull that rim. Pull that hand in. Vlad has to hate that. They have to warn him, too. All right, sir, when you get off the plane, the giant red man is going to try to pull your hand towards you. Be strong. Pull back. But he's not stronger than Trump. So Trump brings that arm and they have a little tug of warfare. Half second. It rips his hand in. Oh, that is such a walk. Look at that. Tight to the right. And what a cool reason Casey's gonna draw on your ass.

[John Holmberg]

Jumping my new lack, Vlad.

[Brett]

Here's my new Cadillac. It's the beast. It weighs about 10 billion pounds and it's more money than your country has. That's for sure. That's what this is worth. It was such a cool meeting. I don't even care about the piece part. These two hopped in the limo together. I love that.

[John Holmberg]

It's just.

[Brett]

It's great.

[John Holmberg]

A ridiculously huge Cadillac just. Just flexing right there.

[Brett]

He's like, look at this. Do you have one of these and have one of those Russian made. Nobody knows the name of that company cars. This is a Cadillac.

[Brady]

Have you ever felt like, I want one of these?

[Brett]

Have you ever felt blacker in your life than what you're doing right now? Vladimir, this is as cool as it gets. We have street cred. I like this.

[Brady]

I'll get you one.

[Brett]

Turn up the gunna. I want to hear more. Gunna. Bring some gunna into the Caddy, baby. But it was. Yeah, it was America on display there Friday, and we won it. I'm gonna start walking like Vladimir. No, I'm not going to start taking on his political views. Just because I like the way the dude moves. I knew it. This guy says you skipped the part where Trump blew him in the Beast. All right, I know you hate Trump. He didn't blow Vladimir Putin. But I would have on that walk, that walk alone, just riding that Cadillac, I might have. Putin knows Trump a hummy for being inside of that. At least. A handy.

[John Holmberg]

Very, very least.

[Brett]

Got no problem. And again, going back to what Brady. Very peaceful and kind way of thinking. Whatever it takes to make people stop dying by the thousands, I'm fine. I'm fine with any concessions there. So everybody's saying, oh, he blew. He blew. It's better than not talking to him at all, which is what we've done for years, so I guess that's better. Don't care what happens, though, honestly. Hope it stops. But I know better. I'm old enough to know better that this is a waste of my time to try to sit and worry about what needs to happen in Ukraine. Because, okay, that stops. What's next? Something will come up and it'll be dumb. It'll be people slaughtering each other over dumb stuff. It'll happen all the time. I'm just aware of it. So I've stopped those moments where I actually waste time of my day going, gosh, I hope that war stops. I hope Trump doesn't give up too much. Come on. Terrible. You're not doing anything about that. It's just a weird thing. But, yeah, Start walking cooler and life will change for you. I think if everybody had a cool walk in a B2 box, there'd be no wars. I'm pretty sure that's a fact. Wouldn't it be great to be on a date? You wanna sit inside or outside? You know, we should sit outside. Yeah, but it's kind of hot. We should sit outside. Okay, so you're gonna get a nice. Sorry I called it B2 bomber to fly over our date. Is that you? Yeah. That's why it's got a hello John on the bottom of it. That's the thing. I do.

[Brady]

The Beast pulls up.

[Brett]

The Beast? Yeah. I didn't. Did we get a Waymo? Sorta. I got a ride. Do you want Uber XL or. Or do you want me to. I'll just call my guy. I'll call the Beast. That's how it works. Is this gonna. I don't think we're allowed to do this. Is it clean? You don't want to try Gunna out there, Brett, we might be.

[John Holmberg]

I think this might have been blasting, actually, in the car.

[Brett]

Sorry, Vladimir. The Cadillac grill sauce. We'll just sit quietly until we get to our destination. This is Mad Beats S. We're in a Cadillac in Alaska. We're the only Cadillac in Alaska, I'll tell you that.

[Brady]

Digging that song.

[Brett]

This is tight, Mother tight. I know. I agree. It's wildly tight. We should go pick up some hoes with bbls. I'm all about that. After our talk, we'll go get BBL hoes in the Cadillac. You can swing a lot of in these, Vlad. This is a badass ride. And by the way, no one in Anchorage has a hoopty like this, so when we pull up, it's going to be raining. That's all I'm telling you.

[Brady]

Reach out and grab.

[Brett]

Reach out and grab one. There, yours. Technically, this is Russia. I mean, there's a heritage here. That was cool. So you can hate Trump all day long. I'm not a huge fan. I'm not a huge hater, but I'll tell you this. That was cool. Watching that was cool. And it's mostly our stuff. That handshake, though, most men need to adapt to that. You win immediately when you rip a guy's arm off to get it closer to you and then tap on it like, that was cute. Peace, shmees. Start walking around cooler. This guy says, are all Trump haters gay now? See, this is where we get into trouble. It says, what about that person that just emailed and said he blew him in the back of the car? I've heard the same thing from deranged liberals. It had to be Trump having sex with Putin. There's no other option. Like, those guys really fantasize about some weird gay. Yeah, I mean, it's funny to think of. To go back to that guy's email. It's hilarious, actually, to think of Trump blowing a guy in the back of the beast. I mean, that's a funny visual. Or vice versa. All right, here we are in the Beast, and nobody rides for flee free, Vladimir. So get to work on the other beast, the little beast down here. This is the. The beast inside the beast. You just want me to get down on you? Yeah. Get down on that action right there. Give old daddy a blow. You're in my country. If I ever go to Moscow, I'll blow you. But we're here in Alaska. It was great. It was great. I. I enjoyed it beyond belief. And then you wait like three hours for them to have. And that was. That's a good sign, I suppose, that they. They came out of There three hours later, talking about, all right, I'll talk to Zelinsky on Monday. It's just more of a flex, too, that we're not even really involved in that war. And we get. Everybody pays attention to us on how we're going to end it.

[Brady]

When they got out of the Beast to go into the meeting room, just that plume of smoke when the door opens.

[Brett]

Yeah. Puff, puff, give, lad. Puff, puff, give. That's good chronic. I don't even know if that's a thing anymore, but that's what I call it, the chronic.

[John Holmberg]

It was like the bus in fast times of Ridgemont High when they opened it up.

[Brett]

I understand you guys legalized this stuff. Of course we did. We're very. We're very cool country. Very cool. Got the weed. Got a lot of weed. We did not legalize weed. We don't want our pim. Yeah, I know. You gotta. You gotta relax, Vlad. This is the way to do it. Let's. Let's fill this thing with smoke. Let's make this beast a bomb. We'll get out and contact everybody in Alaska. But, yeah, watch it. Watch it again. And then do the gunslinger walk. It's pretty cool. Pretty darn cool. Now, having said all the nice things about the next generation that just doesn't care, and everything has to be a cool video. That's all that really matters. I also hate them still because. And by the way, bring on AI. Bring on the AI. Women, starting right now, let's just. Let's put a fast track. Fast track that. Let's go Operation Warp Speed with that. Let's go faster with that. Because I read an article this morning. I told Brady about it. There's a new problem women have, and they're trying to make a word out of it, and they're just tired of it. They call it man keeping. Man keeping. It's a big deal, Brett. It's the unfair burden women take on in a relationship. To also be a man's therapist and hear about his day and all this stuff. And, like, he comes home and emotionally, I've got to support him. Now. Not only do I do housework and take care of kids and things, now I've got to emotionally support this guy. Hey, remember back in the day when you guys said, you don't talk to us? We need to know more about you? Tell me more about your day. Tell me stories about what happened. And remember when grandpa used to come home, open the paper and sit there quietly, and he never talked to anybody. That was a problem.

[Brady]

Now we'd listen to your day.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's it. That's all we did was listen to you blab about nothing. And now that you. All right. A new modern man is emotional. He tells his feelings. He talks to you about things. Now they've made a word. Oh, it's man keeping. It's too hard. I don't want to hear his problems. We'll go back to the old way. You'll tell us we don't talk enough. You're crazy.

[Brady]

I don't want to hear your problems. You just listen to mine.

[Brett]

Beyond that, we used to not tell you anything, cuz we thought. That's none of your business. You're a woman anyway. You won't solve these. That's the old way of thinking, like, all right, I got to give her credit for having a brain. And maybe she'll give me some good ideas.

[Brady]

Thanks for offering that.

[Brett]

53 years later, no good ideas. None. And now you're just bitching that we talk to you. Come on. I don't want to, man keep this relationship anymore. It's just an unfair burden emotionally to have to hear you. Okay, no problem. Why don't you talk to me anymore? But you told me it was hard. Not that much. All right? This is too much. You're out of your minds, man keeping. Don't worry about it. You think men don't have an inordinate amount of pressure on them to make sure the house is up, keep, you know, paid for and all that stuff for all these years? Now we come home and tell you, oh, it was a rough day. Brady was a real asshole. He punched a kid. What? I don't have time for all of your work day issues, all right? I'll tell my goomar.

[John Holmberg]

It's called pussy keeping because that's about what it is.

[Brett]

Come on, man keeping.

[John Holmberg]

Tell all about your problems.

[Brett]

Well, you know, talking to them. They bitched about it the whole time. Your dad didn't do it. Now, your dad never came home from a tough ride in the truck for four days. No comes home and then starts going, oh, I'm telling you, I had an emotional breakdown out there. Because that's what they were asking for in the 70s and 80s, men to be more emotional, softer.

[John Holmberg]

No, he was a man. He didn't.

[Brett]

He's a man. He came home, he's like, what's for dinner?

[Brady]

But that's why maybe your mom, you know, they. They split up a couple times because she felt too much man keeping was happening.

[Brett]

I'll tell you, you're dad. He tried and he's like, no, I don't need to talk to you about things. We're good for three things. Your dad never came home and told Bunny about H vac stuff. That was just. Oh, it's driving me bananas. Maybe once in a while. And women beamed when a guy opened up because it was rare. Strong, silent type. That's what we used to be as men. We used to be strong and silent. We took our problems and we pushed them down. We dealt with them with alcohol and abuse.

[Brady]

I don't want to throw my burdens.

[Brett]

Onto you, but it isn't burdens.

[Brady]

I know.

[Brett]

It was talking. They begged us.

[Brady]

That's how you're conditioned, in a way.

[Brett]

Like, I'm a man. I'll solve my own problems. Please talk to us. We're here for you. Help. We need you to be more emotional. Guys got started dressing like chicks and being more emotional and stuff. And now women are like, ugh. Which tells me one thing.

[Brady]

Something happened.

[Brett]

We're an accessory. We're in and out of style. That's all we are. I like the men, like the old men. Now, wait a minute. We just all changed for you guys because that's what we do to be more caring and open and emotional and communicative and all that. And now it's man keeping. You want us to be quiet again? We'll have no problem going back to that. It used to be called kin keeping. It was a word back in the 80s. They tried that. It was like she had too much burden to make sure the family was okay because she felt she wasn't getting any help because her man never talked to her. So then the dude started to talk to him. She's like, oh, wait. Terrible mistake. Don't need you talking to me. That's no good. I think the leading cause of divorce. I think therapists have been wrong. I think leading cause of divorce is communicating. I think you talk too much. You start getting to realize you don't really like that person.

[John Holmberg]

And bitching too.

[Brett]

Well, that's what it turns into. Yeah, but communicating and talk like divorce never used to happen because they never used to talk. They used to have dinner. They'd look at each other apartments. Yeah, exactly. How was your day? Great. Is Fred still at work? He works there. Yes, Fred is still at work with me. Oh, that's wonderful. Anything to go to? No. The kids alive? Yes. Okay. I'm going to bed.

[Brady]

Martini?

[Brett]

Better not ask. It better be ready. Yeah. Thank you. There was a lot of thanks. There was A lot of. Go get that for me while you're up. Turn the channel. That was it? That's all you heard from a guy? And then they asked for more. We gave him more. And they're like, go back to the old way. That was better.

[John Holmberg]

Don Draper had it figured out.

[Brett]

Don Draper is the ultimate man.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, absolutely.

[Brett]

Came on. Betsy was begging him to tell her about stuff, trying to get communication. He'd just go, bets, not today. And he'd leave the room, and she couldn't do anything about it. And it was like, wow.

[John Holmberg]

The drink was already ready when he got.

[Brett]

She looked like a million bucks the second he came home.

[John Holmberg]

No gray sweats.

[Brett]

And I don't blame women for fighting that one. Getting ready for a guy to come home and not talk to you had to be rough. That had to be because I even Leave it to Beaver, which was a comedy. Ward came home. June met him at the door. Oh, Ward, how was your day? Fine, honey, thanks. He disappeared into some weird masturbation room and look at Sears ads, and nobody could talk to him for an hour. Leave your father alone. He's unwinding. Remember that one? Leave your father alone. It was awesome for my dad. Come home at, like, 6 or 7 at night. Leave your dad alone. All right, I will. No problem. He's kind of tense. Not really looking forward to running over there and chatting with him. I wasn't gonna get much conversation. I used to go up to my dad, like, can you want to play catch? No. Do you want to do it? No. Just got home from work, and I get the message like, oh, all right. I go do something else and find something else. That I wouldn't be all upset or emotionally abandoned. I like, the dude's busting his ass. But now they want that back, and we will do that in a second. Guys used to have to sit and listen to women when they first started working about all the women at work they hate. Terrible. That's really all it is. Women come back with work stories. It's never about work. It's about the other women at work, how much they don't like them.

[John Holmberg]

Did you see what Jennifer was wearing today?

[Brett]

I've never liked her in the first place, but my God. Oh, and listen to this. Oh, God. Meanwhile, that's why the newspaper was better than the phone or the iPad, because you could bury yourself in a newspaper and roll your eyes a lot easier. You can't roll your eyes when you have the phone. Put your phone down for a second.

[Brady]

You're always on the phone.

[Brett]

You're always looking at your phone when I'm talking. Cause it's more interesting.

[John Holmberg]

Cause you're talking.

[Brett]

Communication is the number one problem with divorce. I guarantee you. Divorce all comes from the fact that people talk to each other too much. The olden day. Keep mystery alive in the house. I wonder what he's been doing all day. Don't care what she's been doing all day. And then you go to bed together, and it's like, ah, this just popped up. Let's get to work.

[Brady]

Apple, we need the I newspaper.

[Brett]

Yeah. We need, you know, unfold in front of us. Just gigantic so we can roll our eyes constantly. Oh, God. Going to post Dino with the girls. Oh, really? Is that okay? Well, absolutely. Take the whole evening. Yeah. Pretty true. But there's my credit card tuts. Yeah. Keeping, man. Nobody asked her for that. Please talk to me more. Spend more time communicating. We get a therapist popping up all over. What's the number one thing you have to communicate? You have to communicate. You do. And the divorce rates went up. Communicating led to. I don't like this person, and she doesn't like me at all, man. Keeping Bretzway is right. Kind of a mouth he brought. She'd. So what Sean Connery said in that Barbara Walters interview that goes around all the time, and he says, she goes, you said that it would be okay sometimes to hit a woman. Yes. In an argument. It wouldn't be such a bad thing. See, women like to talk too much, and they. Even when the issue is settled, they still want to have the last word. And sometimes you have to let them know, that's enough. And then Barbara Walters, great line at the end when she said, you're gonna get a lot of mail. And he said, a lot of female. And then the interview was like, da, da, da, da. I'm like, oh, this guy gets it. I don't advocate whacking people, but that was pretty cool. Anyway, what are you gonna do? It's Monday. Don't, man. Keep. Stop talking to each other. Take mine. Take my advice. That's a good idea. Just don't. Don't chat as much.

[Brady]

It's 007's version. There's good ones and there's some bad ones.

[Brett]

Listen to this. This is Sean Connery talking about, he said, not the worst thing to slap a woman now and then. As I remember, you said, you don't do it with a clenched fist. It's better to do it with an open hand, like Bren. Yeah. Remember that? Yeah. I didn't Love that. I haven't changed my opinion. You haven't? No, not at all. You think it's good to slap a woman? No, I don't think it's good. You don't think it's bad? I don't think it's that bad. I think that it depends entirely on the circumstances and if it merits it. Yeah. What would merit it? Well, if you have tried everything else, and women are pretty good at this, they can't leave it alone. They don't want to have the last word. And you give them the last word, but they're not happy with the last word. They want to say it again and get into a really provocative situation, then I think it's absolutely right. That's the one where they. They throw in a slap. But the way it really ended was, you're gonna get a lot of mail. I'm gonna get a lot of female. And that's the. Like, I've never seen. Basically told her, you. It's great. Oh, it's at the ending of it, I think. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The real uncut.

[Brett]

Oh, geez. Get to the end then.

[John Holmberg]

Is it coming through?

[Brett]

Yeah. You did an interview in which you said, no. Here we go. Give them the last word. Happy with the last word. Here we go. Get into a really provocative situation, then to give her a good slap. Yeah, absolutely. What if she gives you a good slap back? Well, then you get into another area. I mean, then maybe she's going to like it. Then it becomes something else. I don't know. But no, no, seriously. I think that you have sex with her, essentially do it because he wants to do it. Huh? Wait till people see this interview. Are you gonna get mail? Might get some female. He's awesome. I miss him. And you know, he banged Barbara right after that. The dude's too cool. Might get some female, huh? Hey, what if she smacks you back? I guess that means you should start. She's into it. Oh, it's so good. The olden days. I don't think hitting people's right, but it is cool when a dude talks about it like that. So many things can be true at once. Nuance. Remember at 6. 19. And maybe I'll get some mail. Ah, yes, Brett. And perhaps maybe a little female to go along with that. And let's get a wake up song. Five eight five nine, eight hundred. That's the number. You give it to us good and strong, and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. It's not weird.

[Brady]

It's Pretty cool, actually.

[Brett]

No membership fee. I have heard of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Ah, thank you, Katie and the hobs. That's miles to nowhere. We got a burp on deck. Hang on. There we go. I kept it out of your ears because I'm a gentleman here in the morning sickness and emails that come flying in. It says John, he thought that flex that Trump had over Putin with the B2s was cool. You're not that far behind, my friend. Once you get that billiards instructor with his plane, you'll be able to have him fly over a single engine Cessna while you and Vlad are walking into tactical black. That's true. Have that. If I. That's where you start. You start with a prop plane fly do. That's still a pretty good flex. If you could have a prop plane fly over that, you know, you didn't hire. It just happened because. Maybe get my man Dr. Brink to shoot his Lear over once or tw. Get a couple. All right, I know. That's what I'm saying. I can start with the Lear rather than a prop.

[John Holmberg]

Can you imagine, like if somebody flew a Cessna over Putin, he'd just start laughing.

[Brett]

By the way, don't hang out with a dude with a plane. I had dinner with Dr. Brink on Friday and it wouldn't have been much to twist his arm to get that thing fired up and go up to Vegas like that. It's not right. It's not fair. Because he's like, I can get it. I can get ready in an hour and a half. And everybody, all of us at the table are like, oh, no. Yes. See if you can arrange that. And he's like, yeah, I can get it gassed up and ready to go. We'd be out of here by 11. I'm like, oh, man. Okay. If it wasn't for my. Our friend Jordan, who had baby duty. He had his three year old girl's soccer game the next morning. He's like, it's a big game. Well, yes, it's meaningful when a three year old's playing soccer. You know, it was her first one ever. And he's like, I'll get killed if I. And he was still. He was still considering it, but he was weighing the options of. Is it worth it?

[Brady]

Nope.

[Brett]

Yeah, it is. It. Absolutely. I totally, yeah, totally worth it.

[Brady]

Why? It's Good. You don't have kids.

[Brett]

Yeah, totally worth it. But in the end, he just didn't want to hear it. One was so much better than the other. He admits that. And then. But you know, other people would say, oh, I just wanted to see a three year old girl soccer game. And I said, I even told him, like, she's not even gonna remember that because I know, I know. He goes, ah. And he was considered. We almost had him into it. And then all of us are kind of like ass. It's probably getting a little late, you.

[Brady]

Know, like the musketeers.

[Brett]

It's all or none kind of. Yeah. And also, you know, it just seemed so excessive at the time. And the dude with the plane was like, I'll gas it up. This is a terrible idea. And we started thinking about it and we're like, no, smart, let's be smart. Because you know the flight back's gonna suck. That we flew up there for no reason at all and then threw money all over the place and then came back like, why did we do this? I missed my daughter's soccer game for this. And you're down ten grand. It's not. It's a dumb move. It's nuts, man. But man, hanging out with a dude with a plane is different. And it's a flex and it makes you like love him a lot more. It makes his. Whatever he lacks in personality goes away when you realize about the plane and really. And brings fun, which doesn't help. You'd want him to kind of be a dick just so. The only thing that, like, he's cool and he has a plane. Like, that's a tough combo. Ladies should be falling all over themselves completely. But yeah, maybe I'll get that. By the way, the billiards thing, the pool. So I've been playing at the rental house. It's a seven foot table. At my house, it's a nine foot table. And I've been really getting good at this.

[Brady]

You're improving your game.

[Brett]

Oh. Found some tricks that I've been, man. Not trick shots, but like little hints and things like, oh, this is gold. So I've been knocking this thing around on the set. Move to the nine foot table. I'm as bad as I've ever been. Again, I don't know what the difference is, but I can't play on a nine foot table. I'm terrible at it.

[Brady]

What's the size of the seven?

[Brett]

There's sevens and nines. So they, you know, they're. It's a bar size Is it only.

[Brady]

Length or is it.

[Brett]

No, no, it's just.

[Brady]

It's.

[Brett]

It's a. I don't know how they work it, but it's. It's bigger all the way around. Like, everything about it. You'll notice you've seen a bar pool table. Yeah, they're smaller. And then you see the tournament tables. They're. It's. There's more. More space on the. More felt and your angles change.

[Brady]

It's like a football field and a.

[Brett]

Soccer field kind of. Yeah. But the game is much more fun on the seven footer because I'm like, man, I got this one down. I'm chipping these things. I'm hitting the ball right where I want to, and I'm like, damn it. Now, I'm also learning about. Like, I have a really good pool cue, but I think it might be too heavy because I can't. I've got no touch. Oh, it's tough. This game sucks. I should have never gotten interested. But moving a nine foot, like moving on to that nine foot table and playing at the house, like, because I've been. Every time I'm at that rental thing, I'm like, I'll get like five or six games in because I'm waiting. I'm usually waiting for somebody to come drop something off or a package or whatever so it doesn't sit outside. And then trying it at home has been totally different because I got real good at the one over. And now I'm like, all it takes, like three or four games a day. And then it moved over and I'm like, all right, big boy table. Terrible. Just absolutely. I've started to blame the balls. It was so bad. I'm like, something's wrong with these balls. Like, they're weighted differently. This ain't there. Terrible.

[John Holmberg]

Get you a new stick.

[Brett]

Well, I got a whole bunch of them. I just got to find the one that's right for me. I got a really good one, but it is a little heavy. And then when I touch the ball, it goes shooting off there. So I gotta learn. I'm not doing that. It's. But, man, don't get just. You know what, don't start new hobbies like that. It's frustrating. You don't need this kind of frustration that you start getting this age, like 50s and stuff. You start new things. No wonder people in their old. People never start anything new. Just like set in their ways. This is hard.

[Brady]

When they retire, they jump into dumb.

[Brett]

Stuff with other old kids.

[Brady]

Like, I got time.

[Brett]

Yeah, but you're competitive by yourself. That's more just get out of the house, get away from people. But it's not easy. It's a tough one. So tip of the cap to dudes who have done this for a while. Just have to also throw this in there. Tyler, who emails all the time, says, unfortunately my wife and I had to put our almost 14 year old Maltese down this weekend. Ellie Mae, First Dog. Together. We were just 19 years old ourselves when we got her, so this is one of the hardest things we've ever had to do. Ellie was also an avid listener of the morning sickness every morning for the last four years while we got ready and commuted to work. The sweet little girl was able to go to work with my wife every day. Inseparable. Oh, this is tough. Initially had the home euthanasia scheduled. So I was going to ask if you boys could recommend some songs we could play to see her out. That's personal. That's up to you. I wouldn't, I wouldn't because it'll turn into jokes and yeah, it's a good idea. Things took a turn for the worse so we had to take her in Saturday night. Anything can help the grieving process. If you can think of it musically, be appreciated. Thanks for always being an amazing activist for the animals. And please remind folks to love their furry babies every chance they get. We don't have them long. That's from Tyler, Brittany and the late Ellie May. So tip your cookies down to your doggies today and give a hug to them for Ellie May. We all go through it. It's a commonality all us dog owners have and it's a bonding moment. And all the time of division and political nonsense, we can all bond over one thing. Those dogs and cats make life better. Period. End of story. Don't care what side of the aisle you're on, yelling at your neighbors and everything else, else, that's something we all deal with. So sorry for you guys. Tyler, Brett, another high five. Bring it on. Biggest fear you and I probably have. I'm about to talk about it. It hits right home with age. It hits right home with where our lives are. It's amazing. Helen and Michael Green were 45 years old. They're both on vacation in Toronto, Canada on a road trip. Now they did have a 6 year old kid with them. They had, I know, ruining the road trip. Six year old daughter Darcy was along with them. Helen got up in the Holiday Inn hotel. So if they didn't have kids, they'd have been in a much Nicer place. But they stayed in a dump because they've got it. Who's paying for a six year old's hotel room? Nobody. They don't appreciate it. Everybody was tucked into bed about 10:30, 11:00', clock, two, three hours later, Helen gets up with some stomach pain. She'd been eating wrong. Ain't good. Gotta share that Holiday Inn hotel bathroom. Like when Brady used to gas out Caitlin and Kirby in that. I'm sure he paid. It was probably a red roof in or something like that. You didn't pay top dollar for those ladies. You had two beds, a bathroom and a tv. Right. Maybe a couch in the corner.

[Brady]

There's a couch.

[Brett]

Yeah but you had, you had that one single room. Yeah, it was a.2 beds right across from. From you and was your daughter and her friend Caitlin who was quivering and crying in fear. She sleep cries and Brady would go use the shared bathroom, take huge night. Caitlyn would have to. She just put her face in that pillow and bury it. Well that's what's going on here with this whole family. But at least they're family, no strangers. Lady gets up in the middle of the night, she's got some paints like, oh, this is gonna be a big one. She goes, my whole body wants to just push. She said I had no idea what was happening and I thought I was constipated. Two big pushes later. Look in the toilet, there's a baby toilet. Baby. She didn't know she was pregnant. What kind of tube was this? That's what I'm wanting. It's cryptic pregnancies. Yeah, she said after two massive pushes, I looked down, there was a baby. Picked her up out of the loo, held her in my arms. Imagine my husband's shock when he woke up to the sound of a crying infant. Them's divorce Sounds to me that, to me that there's a divorce sound. You getting railed in the bathroom and moaning and groaning. That might be a divorce sound, but a guaranteed divorce sound. Baby sounds coming out of nowhere. Yeah. So she had what's called a. I think it's cryptic. It says, I was in such a daze we could hardly work out what was going on. We didn't know if the baby was. Well, we didn't even check to see if it was a boy or a girl. The paramedic had to tell us later. A cryptic pregnancy is a woman who has no idea she's pregnant for the entirety of the pregnancy and then the baby just falls out of her. Now she's 45. So she's blaming like no periods on menopause. Like she's thinking that she's kind of clocked out of periods, so she's not really having them anyway. No reason to go to the doctor. She's not putting on any weight now. There's no pictures of her.

[John Holmberg]

That's probably because she was already at weight.

[Brett]

Well, there's one of her. There's none that make you realize if she's huge or not. She's in a hospital gown here, so you can't tell. Face looks thin.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but she's got some broad shoulders there.

[Brett]

That's exactly what I saw. And the daughter's face ain't keeping it together. Like the family ain't eating right.

[Brady]

No, the ones in the bed.

[Brett]

Yeah, the big lady in the bed, she's.

[Brady]

Oh my gosh, that looked like a dude for me.

[Brett]

No, well, she just brain. She just had a crip. She woke up at three in the morning and had a baby. She didn't know yet. You wanted her to doll up.

[Brady]

Okay, that's three in the morning.

[Brett]

Dump.

[John Holmberg]

And well, she really.

[Brett]

Let's give it to Brady for his 1950s ways. Didn't put any makeup on on the way to the hospital.

[Brady]

Take pictures.

[Brett]

Wow, Brady. Yeah. The daughter's got a little cherub cheek thing going on, which means there's an awful lot of chick fil a flowing through the house. An awful lot. And they're not getting the grilled chicken, so. Yeah, I thought big arm too. I don't know what to think of her, but I can't imagine a regular sized lady being cryptically pregnant with something that comes out of her seven or eight clients.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I'm not noticing. I mean, like, well, I didn't know I was pregnant.

[Brett]

What are you talking about? They kept asking me in the hospital, she said about the pregnancy and I couldn't answer them. I just kept saying, I don't know any of this. She has an 18 year old son. Claimed she had massive bumps during her two previous pregnancies. Like when she was pregnant with Harry, the 18 year old, she's like, I used to get big giant belly from him. And then together then her other kid, Darcy. Big. Yeah, Back again. That was when she. 20 years ago. And then about six years ago she had Darcy. And like that's it. Grace, what you're telling me is a few years ago you had a body shape where it was noticeable that you were pregnant. Now you. You ballooned up a little bit. You complained about bloating so much that you just, you know, your body is not. You could be pregnant, maybe. Who knows? Who knows? Never. A good sign said huge shock. They enjoyed the lovely surprise of now 11 week old daughter Olivia. They named after one of the nurses at the hospital. Can you imagine, Brett, how horrible that would be? And the guy has to play pretend it's fine. How horrible it would be if she pooped a baby at the Holiday Inn. And you're trying to be like, oh yeah, no, I'm thrilled with this. I'm so happy about it. You're already on a road trip where the only thing you can afford is a Holiday Inn. Things didn't just get better. Sure, you have this emotional bond with your turd baby, but things did not just get better in your life because your wife pooped a child out at the. Keep in mind the Holiday Inn. It's not like you were at the, you know, two bedroom penthouse suite somewhere in Toronto's nicest, you know, Ritz Carlton Holmberg's morning sickness. You pulled over and checked rates. You didn't even make a reservation at the Holiday and you saw a glowing sign that said vacancy and pulled in. You were saving money. Your family vacation was Toronto. This baby just broke your ass. That dude. I give him two weeks before Toledo's dad kicks in and it is over. For the fear this happens again. You're married to somebody who's. If you look at your wife right now and you're like, I don't know if she's pregnant or not. Get out. Get out right now. If you can look at a woman and say, I'm not sure what's going on, you could be pregnant and I wouldn't notice. Get away from that immediately. And you know what, ladies? Same with a guy. If he looks like he, he might be pregnant, he's quit too horrifying. Poop babies. Brett, give me a timeline on this, on how long you have to stick around after she poops a baby at the Holiday Inn. Is there like a thing like when she finds out she's dying, you have to. Or like she, she gets her arm cut off or something like that and you're like, you have to stay 90 days of sympathy.

[John Holmberg]

For what?

[Brett]

Well, I'm just asking for a cutoff arm. You wouldn't stick around for a little while.

[Brady]

Oh, for.

[Brett]

Cut off.

[John Holmberg]

I thought you were. I was talking for poop baby.

[Brett]

No, no, no. Poop baby's different. Different, yeah, but cut off arm, you got to stick around. She gets in a fire or something, you got to stay For a little bit, right?

[Brady]

That's a two hundred thousand dollar fine.

[Brett]

For what? Poop baby, whatever.

[Brady]

To raise a kid now.

[Brett]

Oh yeah, it's a tariff. Like people about tariffs. Everything's going to be more expensive. Oh yeah, that's a huge one. Poop baby, I think is a maybe a week. Still gonna pay for it? Why? Well, no, you do have to pay legally. They're gonna get you, they're gonna garnish your way.

[John Holmberg]

I totally don't doubt it.

[Brett]

I.

[John Holmberg]

Make a deal, it's worth paying for it. You take the L and bounce man Holiday Inn.

[Brett]

You put that up for adoption immediately and you have a nice talk with her going, I know you're probably kind of attached to this, but you didn't even know you're pregnant.

[Brady]

It goes the other way for a lot of people. That's a miracle baby.

[Brett]

No, no such thing. If you had miracles in your life, you wouldn't be sleeping at Holiday Inns, that's for sure. The only time you need a Holiday Inn is in an emergency. You don't plan that Holiday Inns there for you if you need it. It isn't. Nobody ever goes on Trivago and says, find me a two bedroom president suite at the Holiday Inn. It's there in case. That's for road trips. And.

[Brady]

Well, and they're also, you know, you.

[Brett]

And Randy available in small towns. Sure. They're. They're everywhere. Yep. They're. They're the McDonald's. They're very useful. They're nobody's vacation destination.

[Brady]

You get a Holodome, you might get a little something to it.

[Brett]

I don't even know what that is. Is that a thing?

[Brady]

It's where they had indoor. The outdoor pool they used.

[Brett]

Oh, the big thing. Yeah. In Ohio. That's right. In Ohio they covered their pools because.

[Brady]

You can swim during the winter.

[Brett]

Is that a real thing they called them or did you make that up?

[Brady]

That's what they called them.

[Brett]

Are you sure you've gone through this before? Holodom just wasn't a cool boat.

[Brady]

I don't think they use that term anymore. That was from like the 80s.

[Brett]

Okay. I remember we get stuck in Toledo sometimes and we'd pull out of the house, the Holiday Inn. Because we'd be driving from Indiana to Pennsylvania and my dad would get tired every time around Toledo. And then he discovered, hey, we all fit in the car. We don't need a room. Let's park here and sleep. The cops woke us one night and said we had to leave because we Were a vagrant.

[John Holmberg]

No, he's right.

[Brett]

Yeah. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Particularly in the 70s and 80s, there were large climate controlled indoor spaces that often included swimming pools, tiki bars.

[Brett]

There's a lot of things. Like Brady felt Toll House cookies were something his mother made. Like you're like. A lot of times you got confused. Yeah. Branding versus the reality. So I did. I've never heard Holodom, but Beggars Night for Halloween. Yeah, that's not a four. Yeah. That doesn't make any sense. Nobody does.

[John Holmberg]

Look at this. Yeah, there's a Holodom.

[Brett]

The pictures of the Hollow. I've been there and I've been inside of a Holodome. Didn't know I was in it, but.

[Brady]

I stayed at a Holodome in Warsaw, Indiana.

[Brett]

Well, you stayed at the Holiday Inn. You didn't stay in the pool. Or is it all called a Holodome?

[Brady]

It's called the Holodome.

[Brett]

The whole thing.

[Brady]

So they have the rooms and then they have the Holodome which has.

[Brett]

And it's a Holiday Inn with an indoor pool.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Looks like the rooms all face the Holodom too.

[Brett]

All right. If they're staying at a Holodom in Toronto, not bad. Still though.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's outdated. They don't do it anymore.

[Brett]

So. Yeah, so you got some high end holidays. It's Toronto. It's. It's the biggest city in Canada. It's their New York. This thing has probably a Falcon bleu. Exactly. There's probably. Yeah, they're Frenchies too. Fontainebleau. Yeah. So a baby comes out of a lady in the middle of them. And plus, by the way, your marriage wasn't going great in the first place where you're willing to have 3am with each other. She didn't even have the decency to go down to the lobby and not wreck the room. She doesn't care about you anymore. She was going to do a Brady and take a huge right in the bathroom and then wander back to bed with rust butt. Yeah, exactly. That was her intention. If you don't hear a shower running right after a 3am unexpected, your partner doesn't care about you anymore. If that wafts in behind. And Brady, there's a lesson to you. If it wafts in behind and you get right back in bed and strap that CPAP on and she's gotta suck in your for the next 35 minutes while you rust butts fart all night long next to her. Ugh. Your marriage is toast.

[John Holmberg]

Call Sean Connery.

[Brett]

Toast at the Very least, go down the hall, go to the lobby. If you have a shared tiny Holiday Inn bathroom, I think it would be worse to poop in it. This is a difference that you pooped it and you kept it because it had to name it and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

So you got to pull it out and clean it off and everything.

[Brett]

It's tied to her.

[Brady]

She's gonna get that. You can't swim too long.

[Brett]

No, I don't think it was down there. You know, doing laughs in the baby holodome. Kind of gave birth to nalidome in the bathroom.

[John Holmberg]

Bungee corners.

[Brett]

Yeah, well, that's what it is. You just kind of pull it up by its rope, then it's by the belly button, and they hang onto its head and stuff. I guess that's important. And you look at it and go, well, I don't want this. I'm wondering how much of a discussion there was of, like, well, nobody even knows. We don't have to do anything with this. And then, like, clip that cord, stuff that stuff. Pack her up again, and then just find a place for this thing.

[Brady]

That's where they find those.

[Brett]

Every once in a while, that happens. There had to be a discussion. What do we do with this? I think we have to keep.

[Brady]

Is that real?

[Brett]

Yeah, the guy had to, like, three times. It's amazing. What a. Oh, crap. Holiday Inns got, like, a chute, right? We're not doing that. Damn it.

[Brady]

That's what they named him. Crap.

[Brett]

We call the paramedics. For what? We're keeping this thing? Yes. Oh, my God. Well, there's a fire department right on the road. I think Canada's got the same rules. Draw it. You can't surprise me with this and act like it's a gift, like you didn't even know either. You weren't attached to the pregnancy. You're as surprised as I am. So you're not close to it. You don't have any emotional bonds to this right now. It was a poop eight minutes ago. I love her. Oh, crap. I thought it was just gonna take a huge. And ruin the family's vacation here at the holodome.

[Brady]

Hey, look, buddy. It's a tiny hoser.

[Brett]

This lady just pooped out a baby, eh? We got to do something about it, eh? Olivia. Oh, that's a beautiful name, eh?

[John Holmberg]

Sounds like another vacation.

[Brett]

Yeah. Oh, it's a disaster at 45. That's what this menopause thing starts getting scary. Broad start. You know, they're. That's why Dr. Lynn. High five. Kill the sperms. Before she starts dropping off periods and having her alarm system not work anymore. That's like what black people do. They unplug all the fire things in their house. That's the same thing a period is. It's just basically every month it gives you a test. It still works. But you go to your black friend's house, you see all the wires hanging out of the ceiling, it beep, beeps and they quit. Same with a woman in menopause. Those periods stop working, your alarms don't work anymore. You don't know when to react. Poop babies may be my biggest fear. Dude's gonna be 65 at high school graduation. Brady, you're pushing that. You're not gonna be 65, but you'll be awfully close. We're assuming Brady's actually going to make it to the graduation. Let's just not get ahead of ourselves.

[Brady]

College be close.

[Brett]

There's no way in hell Brady makes it to that. But let's play. Yeah, that'd be fun for you. Wait. She had two kids and she didn't know what it was like to be pregnant? She had to have hogged out Toilet Baby for the win. Joe Gross emails that over. It's this guy says Holiday Inn kicks ass, bro. Don't talk trash about the Five Star Holiday Inn. That's where we take our classy hoes. They have a complimentary breakfast. Ask Brady. That's from Chingy and Ludacris. I didn't know that they were. I know they listened. That's a tough one, though. But this guy says Toilet Bowl Baptism or Roto Rooter Resurrection. These are good band names. Yeah, for Marcus Meng's show. Toilet Bowl Baptism is a fantastic band. Anyway, if it happens to you, you can go to the news immediately and say it's a miracle. But ask your husband. Husband. His initial feeling. I guarantee you there isn't a man on the planet who embraces that.

[Brady]

It is amazing how that's tipped off that whole story.

[Brett]

Well, the. It goes to the hospital and then it becomes a thing, and the hospital tells the story and next thing you know. Okay, that's. I can understand why those dominoes fall. The girl who had the rogue tampon in her for 30 days. I don't know how that got out, but there isn't a man alive on this planet.

[Brady]

She put that out there.

[Brett]

Guaranteed. Guaranteed. Not one man alive who hears his wife go, come in here real quick. And there's a surprise. Baby.

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't go in there.

[Brett]

Not one man is happy about that. If you're asleep and you don't have a baby, and your wife gets up and goes to the bathroom, and you hear, wake up going, my life just drastically changed because I'm single now.

[Brady]

You're gonna get some connery therapy.

[Brett]

I don't know. If you go beat her up. She's been through a lot. I go in the bathroom, start whacking her around. That's awful.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, to me, if.

[Brett]

Put some makeup on. We gotta go to hospital now.

[John Holmberg]

If Matthias in the bathroom, can you.

[Brett]

Come in here real quick?

[John Holmberg]

And she was in there dropping a deuce to begin with. First of all, I'm not going in because she's dropping a deuce. Or I'm not going it because she just dropped a baby.

[Brett]

Either way, I'm out. There's no reason for me to go in the bathroom while you're in there.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely not.

[Brett]

You screaming, come in here real quick to the bathroom. You better be half dead.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brett]

And they're buying. There shouldn't be anybody else in there. No. New rule. Marriages end. If you go to the bathroom and there's a second person in there you didn't expect. That's a new rule. If I catch you in the bathroom with somebody that shouldn't be there, it's over. That includes infants.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, especially infants.

[Brett]

Come in here. I want you to meet this guy. Nope. I shouldn't be shaking hands with anybody in the bathroom ever. At three in the morning in my own room. I got this room. There was one, two, three of us. And now you've popped out of fourth. That person ain't getting in the car. This road trip was for three. That's what I budgeted. Ugh. Oh, my God. This guy makes a good point. So the whole other nightmare that begins if they're from America, that kid has to get a passport in Canada in order to get back home. Well, I guess they got to leave it. Oh, couldn't get him a passport. We got to get back to work on Monday.

[John Holmberg]

It's actually the best part of the story.

[Brett]

It's a Canadian citizen. I don't want to break any law. Those Canadians. Jails are tough up there, I hear. I don't have any interest in going to Toronto's jail for some baby I just met a day ago. I've got no real ties to that. You swaddled it awesome. We weren't expecting. And it also goes back to my theory. This whole pregnancy thing, it's pretty easy. Ladies make a big deal out of it because they like Attention.

[John Holmberg]

There we go.

[Brady]

It's just hard to believe that she didn't know it's. Which is why.

[Brett]

Well, 8 billion people on the planet. Pregnancy is not hard. You know, it's like somebody coming home complaining about having to make McDonald's hamburgers because they work at McDonald's. It's sort of easy. And it's. I get it.

[Brady]

You're gonna get smacked by someone that's trying to have a baby.

[Brett]

Good luck. It's burdensome to be pregnant, but it's not that hard. Oh, I thought you meant getting pregnant. No, no. Getting pregnant. That's the guy's fault. I'll tell you that. If you can't get pregnant because the dude's not man. Fact. You heard Steve O. 50 million swimmers per shot. None of you guys are strong enough to break one egg. Come on. That's a weak man. If you're trying to get pregnant and you're a man, you will. Especially if the lady's going to like doctors that are saying, oh, she's. Her fertility is low and she's not real, and you still put one in there. You feel like more of a man than you could ever feel like. I'm just giving you trouble. I'll tell you right now, pregnancy is not that hard. We make a big deal out of it. Go over to Africa. It's the only continent that actually has a population that's growing right now. Like, African nations are the only ones that are seeing population increase. All the other first world countries are going the other way. America's in decline. Japan's in decline. All the other. Europe has a lot of countries that are going the wrong way. Africa is the only one. And they just drop babies out like nobody's business. No prenatal care. There's no, you know, they just like, yeah, there's nothing to it.

[John Holmberg]

They got some catching up to do. The rest of us knowing that you shouldn't be increasing it. Come on.

[Brett]

No, I agree with that. We need to be going. I'm with the idea. Going the other way. But anyway, they have surprise babies all the time over in. Africa's like, well, there's another one. It's not about.

[Brady]

India is still growing too, right?

[Brett]

India has. Yeah, I think Africa and India, I think. But it's. Yeah, I'm not so sure. I think Asia as a whole is not. And India is part of that. As far as continents, maybe as a country, India is still even up or going higher. But Africa is like, it's on the.

[Brady]

Up pants, throwing out reward money.

[Brett]

Japan's, like, in the next 60 years, be down to, like, a third of where they are right now. It's insane.

[Brady]

Get paid to have a kid.

[Brett]

Yeah, I know. That's not worth it. Not at all worth it, but have fun with that. I think it could be a treat for everybody to get paid to not have one. I think that's even better. Even though, to get the conspiracy theorists all warmed up, I spent time with a man named Dave Nash this weekend. And Dave is a conspiracy theorist. And he brought up, or someone brought up the idea of Taylor Swift being on the Kelsey podcast. And I never thought this was the angle we would take, but we're like, yeah. And I actually said, you know, she's a basic woman. Like, there's nothing about her that's stunning to me. Nothing about her that's overly talented. Like, she's really good at what she does. But I don't get the hype. I don't get the crazy. Like, I get that she's famous and she's good at it, but she's not. To me. She's not.

[Brady]

She's got that following.

[Brett]

Yeah, she's not the Beatles because she's safe to women. She's not big, giant lips and big bbls. And, like, she's. She's an attainable feature of. Like, you could. Most women would look at her and go, she doesn't intimidate or scare me. No.

[John Holmberg]

She's walking down the street. You're like, man, she's pretty.

[Brett]

She's a pretty lady right there.

[John Holmberg]

But you wouldn't do a second look.

[Brett]

You're not. Yeah. You're not like, oh, my God, she's amazing. She's good. But, you know, that's usually the conversation men have about Taylor Swift. Women lose their minds like, she's the greatest thing in the world. And I get it. Younger women especially. But Dave Nash hits me with, you know she's a Satanist, right? I haven't heard that yet. Yeah, she's all for the population declining. And I'm like, she wants to kill her fans. Like, yep, she does. She does. And I'm like, that's interesting. I've not heard that. I'm like, what gave you that? She goes, she's got a black cube on her desk, and that's the sign that you've been. I'm like, there's a trophy. When you enter this world of, you.

[Brady]

Made a deal with the devil.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You get the cube.

[Brett]

This weird sort of group, the. The. I don't know what you Call them, but they're like this. The Tom Hanks and Oprah eat Babies group. Yeah, that. You go in there and you. They plop down a black cube, like, congratulations, you remember. And not one celebrity has ever said, no, we discussed this. I'm like, it's a strange conspiracy for me on that is Taylor Swift wasn't always, if he's right, wasn't always a Satanist who wanted to be a globalist and have one world government that oversees the population and crushes it down with vaccines and such. We got into that. He went down the rabbit hole and I started laughing because I've always thought, like, did they, like, at one point, did they have a meeting and go, you know, Ted Danson's pretty hot right now, like in the 80s. Like, maybe we should get him on this cabal. Like, you know what? Let's ask him. They run the risk of asking a celebrity that goes, are you out of your mind? No, not doing that. And I go, boy, dancing is not joining up. And now he knows about us. Wouldn't there be a leak at one point? All the celebrities or immediately like, oh, thank God, I'm in it. I got to be part of it.

[Brady]

Whatever the group's called.

[Brett]

Yeah, a cult, a cabal. It's something. But they all seem to, like, join right up and for the right price. You know, we got a pretty successful show here in Phoenix. If you want to drop a couple million my way, I'll join your Satanist death cult. I don't care.

[Brady]

Put a cube on my desk.

[Brett]

I don't have to kill anybody. Right. All I have to do is like, like do vaccines, commercials and like, try to make everybody die in a hundred years. I could do that.

[John Holmberg]

There's a Taylor Swift Satanist conspiracy.

[Brett]

It's a real thing. Says the claims that Taylor Swift is a Satanist are rooted in the conspiracy theories that have amplified on social media. They are symbolic interpretation. Some people interpret the snake imagery Taylor Swift used during her reputation era. So snakes. Automatic ding count. That one music video imagery she did in her song Willow. Her and her dancers are doing stuff that is interpreted as witchcraft. Boyzone star Shane Lynch's accusations. Former Boyzone singer Shane Lynch, I don't know, a devout Christian, has openly accused Taylor Swift of performing satanic rituals during her show. Is it working, though? Because she's got like a lot of Swifties. 70,000 jillion Swifties. But are they all. Are you noticing they're a bit Satanist?

[Brady]

Are they picking up some influence?

[Brett]

But if you have to be Told what you're watching is a Satanic ritual. Is it working?

[John Holmberg]

She's converting Arrowhead Stadium. I don't know.

[Brett]

That's true. Counter arguments and alternative interpretations. Critics of the Satanist theory argue that these interpretations are oversimplified. Which I'm saying. She has a Christian background. Swift has publicly stated she's Christian, has referenced her faith in interviews and directly in her lyrics. She was raised in a Christian home. Some other conspiracies. The Swift is part of a larger trend of conspiracy theories targeting her. Linking her to secret societies like the Illuminati or Psyop, which is a government psychops. They're using her to like brainwash kids.

[Brady]

We're in trouble. But it's gonna happen.

[Brett]

Okay?

[Brady]

She's gonna convert hundreds of millions when she does the super bowl halftime this year.

[Brett]

Could be. But I thought Beyonce was also a Satanist. That was good. And I didn't. I watched it. I didn't feel any different about population control or Satan. I just thought she had a nice ass. That was about as far as I went with it. Oh, and Beyonce, my Christ called Dr. J. Schwartz right now. Taylor Swift does not have a nice day. Let me go on the record and say that is not, thank God, a nice act.

[Brady]

I'm still wondering about this black cube.

[Brett]

I don't know what it is, but if you have one on your desk, just know that people will find something. Do that. But. Yeah, so I didn't expect that. But we did a podcast together. It'll come out later in the week. And at the end of it we just let Dave have his theories. Like just the end of it. Just say, okay, go ahead, Dave, five minutes.

[Brady]

What do you got today?

[Brett]

Yeah, it was then it was pretty interesting. Like it was.

[Brady]

He knows a lot of them.

[Brett]

Okay. But the problem I have with it, and I don't mind conspiracies that make sense. But. But Taylor Swift being a Satanist, what is the end game? Tom Hanks and Oprah eating babies. And the end game is, according to him, that the population dies off and gets down to like half a million. I think there's the. Well, the pillars of globalist world. I've known about those. They're in Atlanta and on there. Says that they want the population to be this very specific number because that's the number that they feel they can control.

[Brady]

Control.

[Brett]

Yeah. Yeah. And that's it. And you can't control a population that's this big. However you go, not one celebrity has been invited into this and then said, no, you Point to celebrities that have died. They weren't big enough to be asked to be part of that. Like Brittany Murphy and like, who else? Tupac, I guess. Maybe we're in it or we're not saying. Like, maybe they said, where do you make the cut? Yeah, maybe they said, no and they got killed. But, I mean, those guys weren't going to. They weren't going to make any. Like, Taylor Swift makes sense to me. She's got a massive audience. Tupac had a big audience, but it isn't, let's get him to control the world size. This one says, how much are they paying you to hide the truth? I watched Taylor Swift and now I'm gay. Well, that could happen anyway. I think it might have been before. It was interesting. I do find that fascinating because he's such a normal person. And then we hit that Taylor Swift thing, and I'm like, wait, what?

[Brady]

He did?

[Brett]

She is a Satanist, and her goal is to help control the earth with a globalized government. And you have this based on. She's got that black cube on her desk. And I'm like, how have you seen her desk? Like some picture of her. She's standing next to some black orb. And now Travis Kelce, also, his thing was, look what happened with Travis Kelce. Next thing you know, he's trying to kill everybody too. He's a Satanist as well. I'm like, travis Kelce is. And he said, yep. Up he got the two shots. Remember he was doing the commercials for the shots?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

So if you were at all involved in vaccines, and he doesn't believe vaccines in any way, shape, or form, he's nuts. Matthew Smith, you may have the greatest phrase I've ever read in my life. I have been trying to succinctly describe how I feel about Taylor Swift for years now. My friend Bryan Rendle had the best one up until right now, which was no man has ever taken the time to masturbate to Taylor Swift. She doesn't appeal to men that way. She may be okay and we may think she's pretty, but she is not a sex goddess. She is not a drool all over her type. So when Brian said that to me, I'm like, you know what? You're right. Matthew just nailed exactly why it says Taylor Swift is a white Asian. She's tall, but the is very much white Asian. It's got that. Not a butt, but it's a. It's there, but it's not like, very.

[John Holmberg]

Well, she must have put a spell on Kelsey because this is the first white broad he's been with. You look at all his old girls.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, he was. They were all cur into the second. So there is some arguments going towards the Satan that she has these types of powers. But again, not one has ever said, I don't want to be part of this. You go back and everybody who achieved amazing success, Madonna, I Remember in the 90s, she's part of the cabal. She's gonna. She does this, that, and the other, and she's in a cult. Whole design is to indoctrinate your kids into believing that they need to, you know, die off.

[Brady]

Need to be careful, because look what happened to Blake Lively when she was friends. And they.

[Brett]

Here's the thing. If this is Satan's plan, if it is, you know, part of the whole Satanist movement, it's slow. At the very best, it's slow. Evidently it started with the polio vaccine. When I was born, there were 2 billion people on the planet. That was 53 years ago. There are 8 billion now. It ain't working. This whole thing ain't working. So Satan needs to shift gears because his whole. It's like what the Democrats did. Let's have celebrities on our team, and that'll win people over. And then it kind of moved them the wrong way. Satan using the celebrities is not working at all. Maybe in first world countries like the U.S. japan, a couple places in Europe where our population's on the decline. But I think that's more the Internet. Satan's plan is taking too long. And if he's all powerful and all this, that and the other. You don't need Taylor Swift. Just do it yourself. But I don't mind spreading the idea that she's a Satanist because it is funnier that way. I would like for along the way, one of these conspiracy theories to be correct. And then one of the celebrities that's involved gets clumsy and lets it out. And then just to watch them all scramble, you know, because they're pretty. They're pretty organized and buttoned up. You know.

[Brady]

The documentary, you know, about Miscavige or whatever his name?

[Brett]

That's. Yeah, that's an actual cult, though. They're not fooling around with Scientology. It's. That's a cult. But look, a couple of people fell out, tattled on him. Hasn't happened in the Satan cult that everybody goes on and on about that. Nobody's ever gonna. Yeah, I was in it for a little, like if, you know, Taylor Swift came out and shook her head and went, you guys won't believe this, but. But for the last few years, I've been in the Satan cult and they're trying to take over the world. Like nobody's broke ranks. Not once. Even Scientology. It took like an hour before somebody's like, hey, wait a minute. This is crazy.

[Brady]

Yeah. I've been a high priestess for years, right.

[Brett]

It took the girl from King of Queens to go on and go, I'm going to do a documentary about how nuts this is and interview other people who've left. The Amish can't keep everybody in. The Mormons, they have a whole TV show of helping them escape from the Colorado city. So there's always somebody who's like, I'm sick of this. Every religion has a breakaway. How come Satanism seems to be so tight and buttoned up? Because you know why? Because he's running a tight ship. The consequences are real. But it is fun to think about. And I kind of hope she is. And then it comes out said, here's my take on Taylor Swift. I've seen John Holmberg's ass in person. And when a fart joke radio show guy has a nicer ass than you, that makes you three at best. That is true. I do have a nicer ass than Taylor Swift. And that does drop her from high level nine to about a four.

[John Holmberg]

High level nine, Whoa.

[Brett]

Well, I'm just saying, if you even thought of her as a nine. We didn't think of her as a nine. It drops her down to at least a two or a three. Fact. Holg's morning sickness. He says, I think you're overlooking Dave Chappelle, John. The top of his career. He pretty much explained it. He said some stuff that was pretty damning on the. I saw that on the Inside the Actor Studio. I think it was more. There was some. There's definitely powers to be. Powers and control. I don't know. It was Satanism. There's some people who are into it. It. But Chappelle still didn't really break ranks and give details. He just said, you know, it drives people crazy. There's a lot of stuff going on that'll make these. But all actors are fragile weirdos. Remember the actors in high school. There weren't any normal people in drama ever. I was in drama and I was the normal one. That's crazy right there. I did some drama stuff. I stayed away from it. I wanted to get into that. I'm like, this will be fun. I got into that room and I just looked around. And I saw crazy. A lot of gay. A lot of kids cutting themselves, a lot of emotional strangeness, a lot of people who wanted to sing everything they said. And then me, like, oh, I don't really want to do this with you guys.

[Brady]

I want to do it all.

[Brett]

And then constantly you go, drama at Dobson High is a different building. Just put them over there. Because people didn't want to hear all the singing. And then the second you open the doors to go into that building, everything's coming up roses. Like some gay guy is in the corner singing with a fat lady. That's. And then you discover that's every drama department in every high school in America.

[Brady]

Okay, John, you're gonna be with James.

[Brett]

Yeah. Then there's the brooding kid. Kind of cool. Something's wrong with him. And he's the one that the acting teacher loves the most. He's his James Dean. Matthew Lindley says, if Taylor Swift is, in fact, a Satanist, it would make her far more interesting. And that I completely agree with 100%. Okay, here we go. Another one that you guys are really getting it together on. This one. Taylor Swift is built like the iPhone that I am emailing you this on. She's got what I call frog butt. I call it beetle ass. Frog butt and beetle ass are the same. I know what you're talking about. It kind of goes. And it swoops under itself. It kind of makes a move in at the bottom where it doesn't come out. It goes whoosh. And it. Like a frog's ass. It's a very good description. Frog butt. Frog butt automatically drops you like you coming at me like an 8. And you got a frog butt 5. I'd have good jumping skills, maybe. Got some springs on her, but what good is that? Now she can block my shot, too. Not interested in this.

[Brady]

Good.

[Brett]

No, I don't need that. I don't need her hitting the rim before me. Can you get up there? Oh, yeah, I got frog butt. Damn it. Anyway, Brett, what do you got in the big board of musical treats this morning? Whether or not Taylor isn't Satanist. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No training.

[Brett]

Wake up.

[John Holmberg]

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[Brett]

Yeah, it's.

[John Holmberg]

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[Brett]

This guy says, john, your drama skills were on display. No wonder you tried painting your pubes on for that neighbor girl. Yeah. You guys remember everything. That was before drama. I was in a play in sixth grade, but that was before drama. That was seventh grade. I was publess. She wanted to see it down south, I thought, so I drew some on. Luckily, never pulled my pants off for. Because it was summertime. It was Labor Day weekend. We're coming up on the anniversary. Let me think back. This could very well be the 40th anniversary of me putting pubes on. Only in seventh grade. Thirteen, right.

[Brady]

When the Smurfs were out.

[Brett]

Yeah, it was like, 13 blue. Just turned 13. No. Yeah. Smurfs were coming to the end. There they were. That was fourth, fifth. Sixth grade. Seventh grade. Summer. Just turned 13. So it was 85. Yes. Yeah. This is the 40th anniversary of the pube draw blue one.

[John Holmberg]

But here you go.

[Brett]

Here's a. I don't want the black one. I like it to be weird. It was a Sunday. No, actually, it was Monday night. Because the next day we were going to. The first day of school was Labor Day, in fact.

[Brady]

And you'd start on that Tuesday.

[Brett]

And we started school on the Tuesday. Yeah, day after Labor Day. And I pubed up. And I was very excited about it because I was going into seventh grade, she was going into eighth grade. She went to Powell, and I went to Rhodes. Because we were in a gray area. You got to pick. I know.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you should have known better.

[Brett]

Her name was Vasquez. That's true. She wouldn't go into Rhodes. They didn't let him in there.

[John Holmberg]

Then she went right over to Westwood.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. She was a Westwood girl. Yeah, exactly. Where she got along just fine. Where she not only had pubes, she had babies by the time she got there. Yeah. So she kept showing me her cans every day in the. We'd play baseball in the cul de sac, and then she'd show me her boobs. She was very athletic, by the way. Very. She one of those girls that would come along. You're like, she wants to play football and stuff with us. And you didn't even roll your eyes. Like, she's good, but she developed these massive cans and started to show me her cans a lot. And then she started to want to see my action. And I'm like, mm, mm. I said, I'll be right back. Grabbed the first pen I could find, went in the bathroom, scrubbed on some pubes just in case I got naked from a distance. I think I could have fooled, but I took a blue pen and I did it. That wasn't drama. That was just quick thinking. Till laundry day when my mom asked how come my pants were. My underwear was blue. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Why were your Fruit of Balloons?

[Brett]

Yeah, they were blue. Like electric blueberry. What did you have? I think I had a pen break in your underwear. I don't know, Mom. It's all on the inside. I have no idea what happened. When did it take you to the doctor? You're inking. I didn't tell her if she's not. I don't know that she ever knew why my underwear was blue. For a day. Just one. Just one pair. Loads of blue. She probably knew it was loaded with blue. Pew. Hilarious. Anyway, that has nothing to do with drama. It's just a good story. 40th anniversary this weekend, Brady. I'm pretty proud of it. That's pretty good stuff. Pretty good.

[Brady]

Amazing.

[Brett]

You're hacking up some nasty. Are you all right? No, you're not good. Yeah, no, I'm salt. I wasn't a proper. Oh, he's eating so much. I'm sure. Garbage.

[Brady]

There's a cube.

[John Holmberg]

It's getting it all in.

[Brett]

You're piling in a bunch of junk, aren't you? You're not feeling well.

[Brady]

I went heavy.

[Brett]

Yeah, I bet you did. This guy. One more week. Next week. Next Tuesday. Rip away. You're not all water and taking it easy and making sure your body's from tip top. Getting in there.

[Brady]

No, I'm. I'm lubing up.

[Brett]

I don't know what that means. That's not medical hydrating. Okay, that's good, but are you eating a ton of crap?

[Brady]

No. Try not to.

[Brett]

You're trying not to, but you are. What'd you have at. How. How much of the nacho plate did you eat at the Improv?

[Brady]

Didn't have it.

[Brett]

You didn't have. What'd you guys order?

[Brady]

Ordered the hummus plate.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Brady]

And.

[Brett]

Not bad.

[Brady]

Some fries. So I had.

[Brett]

That's not good. Salt. Heavy processed foods. You got to get rid of the processed foods. And you probably went to dinner before. No, after.

[Brady]

No.

[Brett]

Really?

[Brady]

Yep.

[Brett]

What'd you have for dinner?

[Brady]

It was light.

[Brett]

We didn't really.

[Brady]

That was it.

[Brett]

All right. There you go, Brady. That's a start. Still picked garbage. Turn our eyes on him. I don't believe you.

[John Holmberg]

He doordashed via chat.

[Brett]

Yeah. You guys didn't have anything after?

[Brady]

Oh, no.

[Brett]

Didn't stop by a drive through? No, no. Swear. I went right to bed.

[Brady]

I could have.

[Brett]

I know you could have. Of course. Everybody could.

[Brady]

The thought crossed my mind.

[Brett]

Sure. Sure. No dinner before you had a little hummus and some French fries? Yep, that was it. How soon before you guys left for.

[Brady]

The Emperor in an ultra?

[Brett]

What did you eat in the daytime? You have a big lunch?

[Brady]

Not really. I had. That day. I had some soup.

[Brett]

No kidding. Salty soup?

[Brady]

No, it was ginger with a little bit of coconut.

[Brett]

I'd rather die of kidney cancer than eat that. All right. That's better. I don't believe somewhere in there was a brisket or a bite of something. The french fries aren't good. We're gonna keep an eye on you. Did Ronnie slap it out of your mouth ever? No, she let it go. Do you have an insurance policy?

[Brady]

Yes.

[Brett]

Okay. That's why she's. She's. She's rooting for the other way.

[Brady]

She's bringing food out.

[Brett]

She's probably got that grill on. Oops. I left the grill on again. And I happened to defrost these steaks. Now what should we do? I'll take care of it.

[John Holmberg]

On the list, Prodigy. Smack My Bitch up for Sean Connery. Lamb of God, The Warning Mud Vein, Faith no More, the Hives, Sammy Hagar for some reason, Queens Reich Soil, White Zombie. Back to the hotel from N2D for poop mom. Lindsey Buckingham, Holiday Road for Poop mom. And Iron Maiden's number of the Beast for Taylor Swift.

[Brett]

That is true. The Road Trip, Lindsey Buckingham's Vacation song. I mean, they. At least they just got stuck with Aunt Edna.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

They didn't have something that, like something was going to live with them for the next 22 years. Oh, poop baby. I like Iron Maiden's number of the Beast for Taylor Swift. I think that's good stuff. Cool. Iron Maiden. Get that out of the way.

[Brady]

I wouldn't have guessed that. Drinking the celebrities, drinking baby blood and all that.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Ends up Taylor Swift. Being into that crew, it's as easy.

[Brett]

As asking, I guess. I don't know where they make their money. Mostly through celebrity stuff. But again, here I am. Low level. But Some local notoriety. Pretty powerful radio show. I believe it's number one in the country as far as a rock station. I guess you can just make those numbers up. It is balloons. Yeah, I agree. And I mean, we're number one in Djibouti. Number two. We were number two. We fell off in Somalia. Didn't do well there. But Djibouti, we did good. But I mean, where's my offer? I'd be a good soldier.

[John Holmberg]

I'll have a party for you. Don't worry about it.

[Brett]

No, we put some balloons up. But I want to.

[Brady]

You know, you might have gotten that call early on. Didn't know. But one of the political aspirations.

[Brett]

The guy just wanted me to run for city council.

[Brady]

Put the feelers out.

[Brett]

Just told me if you're interested.

[Brady]

It could have been Satan himself.

[Brett]

Okay. Why didn't he then? He's terrible at his job. I had to guess. I wasn't. That wasn't on my mind. Doesn't he have some sort of a beam of, like, I'm Satan? He can shoot into my head without saying it. Like, can't he manipulate my brain waves? Come on.

[Brady]

He's already got you.

[Brett]

Does he?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I don't believe that to be true. I don't believe he exists.

[Brady]

His goal is not to have you believing in God. In a God.

[Brett]

That's his goal.

[Brady]

Yeah. So he's got you.

[Brett]

You know who did a better job of that God? Satan. Didn't have to do much. Yeah, I don't believe he exists either. So where's my offer from the lunatics? Where's my millions just to stay quiet? I don't understand it. I don't know what level you have to be.

[Brady]

That fiddle of gold.

[Brett]

I absolutely would be. Yeah. I am that John. And I'll play that fiddle hard as the devil. Come down to Phoenix. Why? Why can't he be here? He revealed himself to Johnny that. Do I have to learn how to play the violin? Marry my sister?

[John Holmberg]

He showed up during the ERAS tour over there at the stadium for Taylor.

[Brett]

Yeah. Devil's doing a terrible job. Just reveal yourself. You've got me, right? Like, if his goal is to make it so you don't believe in God. I don't believe in God. So why wouldn't he come to me and go, now you're a soldier. Let's do some stuff together. I'm like, you got it, man.

[Brady]

Spread the word.

[Brett]

Yeah, but if he shows up, that's proof there's God. Because otherwise there'd be no reason to have Him. And now they got to swing it all around.

[Brady]

Which is interesting because everybody's crazy being the Satanist. If Taylor Swift is.

[Brett]

Yep.

[Brady]

Is she converting people? Doesn't she want it the other way?

[Brett]

I don't know.

[Brady]

What's the call the herd?

[Brett]

I don't know. She wants her fans to die. It doesn't make any sense. Which is why it's a great thing. What does make sense is that I want to believe it. And I am available. Any Satanist out there that are like, willing to pay for my services, I will do it. I'll gladly start doing that. It's extra money. A normal company comes along, I'm like, I want to know what you're about. They have a fee. But if you want me to, like, tout Satanism, like real stuff, where's my money? Because I do it, it's no big deal to me. Because it's like saying I believe in spaghetti monsters and flapjacks that talk. It's. It's not a thing. It is the number of the beast, though maybe I am already in it and my whole little deal is to let you wonder. No, I'm not. It would have been better. I would have said something better there. It's the number of the beast. It's iron maiden. It's 98 for Taylor. It's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Brett]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. A lot of emails about people with the Satan stuff, and I think I turned one of them said, I never really thought of that. If Satan has all that power, why is he slow burn and just take over? Exactly what I've been saying. You a guy named Bruce? Yeah. If his plan is to 100 years from now to have. It's fine. Scott has emailed in and says Satan is like DirecTV. They only care about the new members. Yeah, it kind of seems that way. They don't really. They. They don't give the deals to the people have been around for a long time in Satanism. It's always. It's like phone companies. It's just the new deals.

[Brady]

Where's my Red Zone package?

[Brett]

Why don't I get NFL Network for free? I'm switching. I'm cutting the core. Ah, that's good stuff. Anyway, I. I don't understand the Satan thing either.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. This. This one here goes along with. It's coming up in the printer. Oh, and the printer goes along with the song we just played for Tay Tay.

[Brett]

We've got paper. We're good. Here it comes. I think they put the printer in the lease. Can you see the studio? The printer is like 14 miles behind me. I'll get it. So Eric, Eric Chilcott says, how did you miss the opportunity to correlate Iron Maiden's number of the beast with Taylor Swift's bust? Six, waist six. Hips. S. Six. Yeah, she's a 666.

[Brady]

There you go.

[Brett]

Yeah, not a 36. 24, 36. But she's 666 as well. My God. Satan has hold of her. Her figure. Amazing. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report is brought to you by all pro shade. Allproche.com find a spot in your house that's outside that you're like, boy, we'd use this a lot more if it wasn't so directly sunny. Throw some shade on that the good way, the old fashioned way. 20 years of them doing this is the best in the business. They've been doing it this long because they are really good at it. I'll give you that free estimate. Go out there, point out your area and they'll say, here's what we'll do. Beautify your home and enhance your property value. All pro shade.com Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[Brett]

Hi.

[Brady]

Happy National Fajita Day. All right, a couple of basic fun facts. Singapore has a government agency to promote marriage and romance, and it fosters opportunities for single singles to interact in social settings.

[Brett]

Wait, it's just teaching government programs at all? A government program that takes you from being in like you're not a. Yeah, you're a person who can't get a date, so they put you in a room. Isn't that just love on the spectrum? Isn't that the same thing?

[Brady]

Close.

[Brett]

Speed dating. Government operated speed dating. If you wanted that, why do you need the government? Wouldn't you be. I guess they'll probably pay you if you get married. They'd be like, hey, if you go through our program and you actually get hitched, we'll give you some money. That might be Dave Nash. It before that. Yeah, but he's all about blowing the population up to like 100 billion. Interesting. I'm wondering why the government? I mean, I know that they want more people. That means more taxes. Nobody's really interested in the population being on the increase because of us. It's more taxes. It's more people for wars. It's more. It's just more money up and down. It's just better for commerce if your population is going the right way. Plus it pays for the future. Most governments, like the United States especially, rely on the next generation to pay for the current dying generation. Like we are currently paying me for my dad's generation. The people behind me are going to pay for my. And we go lower.

[Brady]

That means Alex is paying for us.

[Brett]

Oh, no, no. We're all going to starve. Well, at least he can doordash us some stuff when the Alex apocalypse happens. Too hard to not door dashing.

[Brady]

You know why the Colorado Rockies mascot?

[Brett]

This one's too far. But I do.

[John Holmberg]

Like I know I had a printed angle.

[Brett]

That's a good one. Sorry, say what?

[Brady]

Why the Colorado Rockies mascot is a triceratops dinger.

[Brett]

Because they found it when they were doing the construction.

[Brady]

Yeah. They found a rib bone.

[Brett]

Good opportunity.

[Brady]

They wanted the triceratops.

[Brett]

This is the most famous Dinger moment in mascot history. Danger. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We just apologized. Heard some horrible language. Doesn't belong anywhere on our broadcasts as far as I'm concerned. Totally agree. When you yell dinger, not with a hard R, you yell that mascot Dinga. Dinga. You throw that hard R on it. People are getting offended. They announced it during a Rockies game because he thought he heard something else. Still hilarious.

[Brady]

A new study looked at how much people scroll on their phones and they converted the distance that you move through feeds into miles.

[Brett]

So each scrolls like 3 inches.

[Brady]

According to their data, the state that scrolls the furthest.

[Brett]

Like New Hampshire someplace.

[Brady]

Arizona.

[Brett]

No kidding. We're. We're scrolling like crazy.

[Brady]

We scroll 115.4 miles a year.

[Brett]

Number one, 115 miles.

[Brady]

Miles a year.

[Brett]

So they're counting. Let's say you've got a Samsung.

[Brady]

Phoenix to Tucson.

[Brett]

Okay, so we've got. I've got this, which is the. I don't even know what. It's seven inches long. Yeah, I know that. For other reasons. And you just scroll up. So each time I do that, it's seven inches I'm moving. Yeah. That's how they're doing the math.

[Brady]

That also is the equivalent of almost nine hours of screen time per day.

[Brett]

That also means they know too much about what's going on with your phone.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brady]

Washington is second at 108 miles. Kentucky third, 105 miles. And Missouri. Then New Mexico.

[Brett]

It's a lot of scrolling. A lot of what?

[Brady]

A bottom five. Kansas, Maine, Nebraska, Minnesota, Massachusetts.

[Brett]

They scroll the least.

[Brady]

Yeah, but overall, the average American spends 6 hours and 35 minutes per day on screens.

[Brett]

It's a lot, a lot of that going on.

[Brady]

Got a middle school teacher in Spring Hill, Florida, facing charges after he apparently got drunk between classes, crashed his car into the fence of the school's parking lot.

[Brett]

Where'd he go?

[Brady]

Campus police officer found the 32 year old English teacher passed out behind the wheel.

[Brett]

Wait, he left for a little bit. Yeah, you can do that.

[Brady]

It happened around 11:45am so maybe he left, was able to take a little lunch. He was caked before.

[Brett]

Yeah, this dude didn't start off sober. He didn't just go. He was a little bit tipsy and went to go get more.

[Brady]

They thought it was some kind of medical issue at first, but then they saw a bunch of single serving alcohol bottles.

[Brett]

We had airplane bottles.

[Brady]

He's in a car.

[Brett]

Like you're an alcoholic.

[Brady]

He refused to have his blood tested.

[Brett]

Didn't need to at the hospital, but.

[Brady]

A cop noted that he smelled like alcohol.

[Brett]

Yeah. If you have. This is for all of you right now, and I'm going to hit you in the guts. If you're in your car right now and there's one empty or one full, just one airplane bottle of alcohol, you have a massive problem. And I mean it is astronomical. No grownup up has little tiny bottles of alcohol in their car, Brett.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brett]

Unless you're coming from Total Wine. Right. Unless you just purchased some and you're taking them home. That's the only time. But an empty one, I don't think they're.

[John Holmberg]

Hope if you're taking them home, you're usually not getting the little travel bottles either.

[Brett]

You're buying travel bottles for a party. It's very unique to have little tiny airplane bottles. It's.

[Brady]

You had like a gross of a month.

[Brett]

Not in the car. Somebody did. Nobody had them in it. Well, they have to deliver them. Deliveries don't count. You know what I'm talking about. You're on your way to work and you have a couple airplane bottles nearby. Empty or full, it's over. Especially if they're empty in the car. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You fling them out the window while you're drinking. What's wrong with these people?

[Brett]

That's right. Jesus. You litter them. So when you get pulled over, there isn't like that's what I see on OP live. I'm like, it's a couple Empty bottles in there. This isn't my car. It's like, oh, boy. You fling them out the window, you have a better chance.

[John Holmberg]

My eyes may cry a little bit, but it's fine.

[Brett]

Exactly. So Greta Thunberg gets her feelings. Then he threw out his little tiny plastic. Butters. Shut up, Greta. I was trying to get out of a dui. It was from two days ago. I forgot I was drinking in there. Yeah, little tiny airplane bottles are your go to. That means your wife or husband knows and you've got to keep it quiet. You can't go buy giant flasks and carry them around. If somebody thinks you're an alcoholic because you are.

[Brady]

Screw you, Homeberg. You know how well those things fit.

[Brett]

In my golf bag. Golf bags are different. In the car is not in the golf bag. Your golf bag in your car full of those. And you didn't drink them. They're rotten away anyway. It's a thousand degrees in there, so you're not an alcoholic. But if you can see or reach an airplane box bottle in your car.

[Brady]

You got some problems.

[Brett]

You got a massive problem. It's like beyond most people's problem. Like heroin addicts are like, dude, you need to stop.

[Brady]

God damn it, John. I feel seen. I have right now an empty pint, bottle of vodka.

[Brett]

A pint. My car. What does that make me? You're Rick James. An empty pint in the car. Unless you're driving it to a recycling center. There is no reason for that. Do what Brett suggests and just chuck it out the window. Right?

[Brady]

Come on, John. They're right there to let the candy bars at checkout. If I buy a 12 pack and I get four airplane bottles with it, what am I doing?

[Brett]

Just snacking. You're not snacking. You're not a fan. Yeah, you're an alcoholic.

[Brady]

In vernon, Connecticut, this 40 year old man was at a playground and has those tube plastic slides. You know, he got stuck in the middle and it was pretty hot. It was middle of the day.

[Brett]

Playground slide.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

How fat are you?

[Brady]

He wasn't that big. You can. But somehow he got stuck in there for over a half hour.

[Brett]

You can't figure out a slide down further.

[Brady]

Somehow he was going through that tube and he.

[Brett]

Tube? Isn't it just a hole in the ceiling?

[Brady]

It looks like he tried to fold himself up. Oh, there's the fire rescue team. You know, they cut.

[Brett]

Not a little tube.

[Brady]

They cut the midsection in order to get them out. Then they had to pry them out of there.

[Brett]

That's just a Lard ass.

[Brady]

Okay, dumb Holmberg, you'd never had a pregnant wife. Those airplane bottles got me through, brother.

[Brett]

Right. Alcoholism. I'm not saying it doesn't happen and you don't have reason for it, but it is alcoholism. Like Brett said, you don't go to Total Wine for the baby bottles unless you're trying to keep it from somebody. You don't buy baby bottles unless somebody's up your ass about how much you drink. Right, because it's pockets, it's ins. I'll give you some tips in the toilet tank. This is where Homer used to hide his beers on the Simpsons. I used to laugh hysterically. It opened one up and grab a beer out of there. And weren't allowed to have them in the fridge. He caught too much heat. And you put. And you can put them in the medicine cabinet. I remember at Tony Romas I went to a girl's house, I went to the bathroom. You always opened the medicine cabinet. It was mostly little tiny bottles of alcohol, was it not? Her parents house. Her apartment. Her apartment.

[John Holmberg]

At least it wasn't Valtrex or something.

[Brett]

Oh God, I have been to that too. And I wasn't even trying to get with her. It was. We were just having a little party, but I opened up her thing. I'm like, this chick's got a huge problem. Her name was Dana. A huge problem.

[John Holmberg]

Gotta go, Bumpy. I'm outta here.

[Brett]

Oh no, she wasn't the Valtrex one. Valtrex one was a different one. Hol's morning sickness man. And the weirder thing about Valtrex girl was she left it on her sink. I didn't know what it was at the time. I went and told my buddy James Pearman. And I said, hey, Pearman, she's got a thing on her. I think it's for like warts or something. He goes, what? He went in there. He goes, oh, yeah, she's got pills in the cabinet too. This girl's all over the place. Like, oh my God. And I don't think it was Valtrex at the time. It was like a. It didn't look like you bought it over the counter.

[John Holmberg]

It was one of those great value version.

[Brett]

It had like a medicine name on it, like Prehapadupa Lapis Hopadin at xl. And it was in one of those silver tubes that when you squeeze it, it looks like it's crumpled newspaper. And it had been used up and the cap was all waxy. How you investigated. And from that day on we knew. Yep.

[Brady]

Stay away.

[Brett]

She put out Shannon head bumps, man.

[Brady]

We hit the nerve with our audience.

[Brett]

This morning because they're baby alcoholics. A.

[Brady]

Damn it, Homeburg. I threw out six fireball shots this morning. From the weekend to a day after.

[Brett]

Work in your car.

[Brady]

What's up?

[John Holmberg]

Jesus.

[Brady]

What's up?

[Brett]

What are you talking about? You're blowing up to me on this. What's up?

[Brady]

You don't take baby bottles full of liquor to football games.

[Brett]

No, your kids.

[Brady]

Football game.

[Brett]

They serve it there.

[Brady]

God damn it.

[John Holmberg]

Those little botters are cheaper.

[Brett]

So if you are a drunk and.

[John Holmberg]

Broke and need a fix, it's cheap.

[Brett]

What? Football games?

[Brady]

Yeah, your kids.

[Brett]

You have. Yeah, and that's the only one. Brady's not wrong.

[John Holmberg]

You need a 750 at that point.

[Brett]

High school. You need a hand to a kids.

[Brady]

Yeah. Football game. I'm heading over.

[John Holmberg]

You want 7, 5 handle.

[Brett]

You have 6 in your car right now and you're blaming going to football games? Games. There aren't any. Those are two different texts. Oh, okay. I was gonna say I didn't differentiate either way, but I like how you combine them. You shouldn't be. They serve alcohol at good football games.

[John Holmberg]

He's going to a kids.

[Brett]

That's what. Yeah, like, the only way to stock up is if you're still going to like Pop Warner. Lighten up, John. You're so hoity toity.

[Brady]

You're saying you never had a roadie before?

[Brett]

Yeah, I've had a roadie, but I've never, like, gone out of my way to have, like I said, within reach. A full. A refill or an empty in the car.

[Brady]

Oh, roadie on the ready on his way in the morning.

[Brett]

And most of the time I'm going someplace and I'm gonna drink.

[John Holmberg]

The roadie's in a Styrofoam cup. You're not doing shooter bottles.

[Brett]

And roadies are also. Usually. You've got, like, a driver. And we did it when we went to Metallica. We got that van and we stopped at a liquor store and we loaded up. Those were roadies. I didn't want the driver loading up.

[Brady]

It's after work, bro.

[Brett]

I'm not even gonna get fired for. Yeah, you are.

[Brady]

Stop judging me. It's not why I listen to this show.

[Brett]

This is all this anger is your alcoholism yelling at me. I've worked with this guy before. I know what this is. Hey. And I'm not judging you. Go be an alcoholic. There's plenty of you. There's groups.

[Brady]

Don't kill anybody on the way Hang.

[Brett]

Out in a room. There's good coffee and free donuts.

[Brady]

Just making the point that if you have it.

[Brett]

Just letting you know. And if you're okay. Okay, let's. Let's substack this a little bit. One little baby bottles, full or empty, within reach in your car. Alcoholic. 2. If you're angry about that. Alcoholic. If somebody says, what are you? An alcoholic? And you go, shut up. Like you've never had a roadie. Jesus Christ. He's an angry alcoholic. I take baby bottles to the football game all the time. What am I supposed to do? I go to football games. I gotta have six, seven of these. Bro, are you poen. Are we gonna fight over your alcoholism? Stop calling me that. You call me an alcoholic, Brett.

[John Holmberg]

Alcoholic.

[Brett]

Nah. See how easy it is? I'm not even angry. Yeah, don't ask me how I know.

[Brady]

This, but in Tennessee, it's completely legal for the passengers to drink as long.

[Brett]

As the driver is not okay. Then what do they need hider bottles for? Right?

[John Holmberg]

I like that rule.

[Brett]

This guy says, back off, F face. I have a box of wine securely fastened to my passenger seat and belted in signed Bunny Bogan. They remember everything. Yes, they remember everything. Bunny likes the box wine. Thanks, Hunter. Yeah, I'm just saying, you got baby bottles. If you have a need for baby bottles, that means you hide your drinking. Yeah, that's what alcoholics do.

[Brady]

Time for an intervention.

[Brett]

Right? If you can't get through your work day without a couple fireballs. Two a day after work, bro.

[Brady]

Pick me up. It's my five hour energy drink.

[Brett]

It's not. It's the opposite of energy. It is not.

[Brady]

I take turns wide and it clanks in my car.

[Brett]

Yeah, and I like drinking, too, but I don't have one in my pocket just in case things get hairy. That's alcoholism. If I start sweating or shaking and I have to reach in my pocket, good thing I came prepared. If you leave your house in the morning, keys, wallet, gum, fireball shooter, you're an alcoholic.

[Brady]

Does that dude's wife.

[Brett]

Here you go. You forgot your drink. Thanks. Oh, yeah. Thanks.

[Brady]

Does that dude's license plate read D N I A L?

[Brett]

What is that? Denial I see? Yeah, and usually your wife isn't handed to. She's the one that forced you into a lifestyle of baby bottles.

[Brady]

The one that drove you.

[Brett]

She's the one a. She drove you to it, and then she told you she doesn't like how much you drink, so now you got to find ways around it. Baby bottles are for Alcoholics also Homeburg. Not for nothing, but if you have.

[Brady]

To drink two fireballs after work, you're a.

[Brett]

Well, and now you're. Now there's real judge. What's up, bro?

[John Holmberg]

I bet the empty pint in the car guy also listens to Slayer too. Now he's naked.

[Brett]

Oh, he's an Indian. He's a native. Look at swipes. That is some passive aggressive racism right there. You're not wrong.

[John Holmberg]

But still, I get baby bottles. So there's no commitment to be a nasty alcoholic.

[Brett]

How could you get yelled at by whoever you live with if they see real bottles? You people.

[Brady]

Volkswagen just debuted a new subscription plan for their electric cars.

[Brett]

And when I say you people, I mean Indians.

[Brady]

They're making people pay extra to unlock a full amount of horsepower. It's only happening in the UK for right now, but the ID3 electric car has 228 horsepower. But if you pay the fee.

[Brett]

Which.

[Brady]

Is about 20 bucks a month, you'll get that 228 horsepower. If not, wait, it only has 201 horsepower.

[Brett]

Who's doing this 27 horsepower through the computer stuff? Since I'll tell you this.

[Brady]

Volkswagen.

[Brett]

Okay, I'll tell you not to do this for a reason. I had the pedal commander, which is a. An aftermarket thing you can attach to your gun or something. Yeah, yeah. And it basically takes your computer and amps up your horsepower. And it works. I will tell you. It absolutely works. Until it stops working and then it just decides, I'm gonna drive for you. What? And I was on the freeway and the car started going. I was on my way to Tactical Black. I had to call Jay. I'm like, I don't know what's going on. Car's doing what it wants, and I'm filming it. I took. My feet are off the gas. I was going 80 before I hit the brakes on the freeway driving Christine. Or I was driving Christine, and I hit. Hit the brakes and it would still fight. And I'm breaking and I'm like, oh. And then it would stop. I'm like, okay. Then it just. So these. You toy around with this stuff. The computer gets confused. I have. And on the heels of that, my Jeep is right now at a dealership because of that. They told me a while ago, you did some damage with that thing. It jacks around with your whole, it's $6,000 you got to replace. Oh, yeah. Lot.

[John Holmberg]

Because of that, Volkswagen's turning into a streaming service now. It's like, it's a la carte everything.

[Brady]

There's also an option of paying a one time fee of $880.

[Brett]

Don't do it.

[Brady]

Volkswagen says the option keeps it unlocked even if you sell the car.

[Brett]

Don't mess around with the computer. The way it's set up, it just causes nothing but trouble. Your car gets confused and it wrecks parts. It seems like a good idea to get a little more horsepower. And trust me, that pedal commander is sport mode. I don't know what we jumped up to, but it was probably close to a hundred more. It was hard to control the car because you're just not used to that kind of jump. But it wrecked a lot of stuff. It made me drink tiny little bottles while I was driving and let the car. I just let. Suddenly I had a Tesla. It was doing. It was driving itself. I tried to set the cruise control. Every light on the dash went, no, we don't know what that is anymore. We're. We're. We're doing what we want. John.

[Brady]

When they make it like candy, I mean, I like a little peanut butter, whiskey and some chocolate or 99 bananas.

[Brett]

And I'm full alcoholic, but 99 bananas, that's. That stuff at the desk.

[John Holmberg]

Have some taste buds.

[Brett]

That's the one with the fruit on the. And they're like the dollar. It's like 100 proof. Oh, 99 bananas. That's.

[Brady]

You make bananas foster.

[Brett]

All right, you buy anything? All right, you calm down. We got to keep you away from, from that stuff. If you buy any of the alcohol that's at the desk as you're checking out of the liquor store, you're an alcoholic, you're already at a liquor store. Why are you buying the little bottles?

[Brady]

We got a Florida man who was upset, a landscaper mowing the neighbor's lawn, making too much noise. The guy, his Name's Anthony Marzola, 51 years old. He was upset at the noise. He went to his car, pulled out a dagger, and went after the guy on the standing mower. Guy's name was Brian Hanson, not sure we know him. Went there with a dagger, and he threatened to take his life unless he stops cutting the grass, making too much noise. He's charged with aggravated assault. Oh, and by the way, he was also fully decked out in a jester's outfit.

[Brett]

Came over as a court jester. Yeah, I would. I would mow the grass every day.

[Brady]

Two together. Well, he just left the Ren Fair.

[Brett]

He worked at Bobby McGee's.

[Brady]

He's wearing a jester outfit in the middle of the Day. It's likely it's a get up that's related to the operation that he's the manager of the Psychedelic Jester smoke shop. Probably at St. Petersburg.

[Brett]

Pretty good detective work there.

[Brady]

They had him out front like the Statue of Liberty during tax time.

[Brett]

So he kept the mask on too because court jesters wear the big hat with the bells on.

[Brady]

Oh yeah, he's got the hole. If you look at the guy, he looks like a jester to begin with. Even outside the I demand you stop.

[Brett]

Playing this game with your lawnmower. Nobody loves a Charlie in the box. You look like Charlie in the box from the island of Misfit Toys. I would have my lawnmower going 24 hours a day and I'd have friends come up. Hey, Brett, come here. What, you gonna mow the grass with me? Sounds terrible. I'm not doing no, no. Wait till you see what happens. Oh, what is this cacophony? Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding ding. Thief. What you're doing? The jester's out. I told you this would be awesome.

[Brady]

Did you see PETA's latest target? Their latest beef is with the video game Mario Kart.

[Brett]

Okay, calm down, Peter.

[Brady]

They want Nintendo to remove turtles mumu cows nose ring because they believe it's a sign of animal abuse.

[Brett]

So there's gonna be kids who go out and like put nose rings in cows because of this. I think they're called farmers or Asians who have oxen.

[Brady]

Nintendo has not responded yet.

[Brett]

Here's the I don't know how PETA makes me pay that animals. How does PETA go out of their way to make someone who loves animals so much make me want to be against them. Everything they do is annoying and awful. PETA calm down.

[John Holmberg]

They got start tricking shooters. And if I had to hang out.

[Brett]

With Peter oh all day long. God. The nose rings on cows is a low level fight. Help out some real stuff. Peter and I don't. The cows are. I've seen seen women with those in there and they don't seem like it's ruining their lives. Maybe the day it happens, the cow's like what the is this? And then a couple days later my nose still hurts, but I'm okay.

[John Holmberg]

It's a goddamn video game.

[Brett]

Yeah, and also pulling around a cow by a nose ring looks awful. Ever seen that?

[John Holmberg]

It's 2am at the bar.

[Brett]

Well, yeah, if you grab her off her stool and get her in the car. If you can stuff her in the car. Mind the baby boss bottles mine Does. Look out. You gotta push those off the seat before you put your. Your ass in here. All right. Yeah, I guess that's what fat girls put it in for. So you can tug them home. Yeah. Follow me. You gotta hook up my nose thing. God, that would be funny if you had a little key clip. Just walked up to one of them coming home with me.

[Brady]

Former Russian Miss Universe contestant dies after an elk smashes through the windshield of her car. It was a Porsche Panamera. She's with her husband driving. Kya Alexandrova, 30 years old. End up dying of a head trauma. The elk went through the windshield. There. On the canine highway, there's a Dog Highway. K9.

[Brett]

I heard you.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah. Here she is.

[Brett]

Jesus, she's beautiful. The elk got her. Huh? Wait, she's a WNBA player's mother. No, that's what the headline says. Oh, no, that's a different headline. Ex WNBA player's Mom Dies in Crash Involving Illegal Immigrants. Then that's just above the story of this hot rod.

[Brady]

She wasn't as pretty.

[Brett]

We don't care about her. Yeah, we only covered pretty girls have been attacked by things that cross illegally. Elk, deer, Mexican.

[John Holmberg]

Putin should have brought her over.

[Brett]

Oh, man. Yeah, for sure. That's Miss Russia. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, 2017, Miss Universe.

[Brett]

What are we so mad at them for?

[Brady]

It's now possible to give yourself the flu vaccine at home. AstraZeneca's flu mist has been approved. It's a nasal spray.

[Brett]

Don't get Dave Nash started on that stuff. By the way, this guy says, we drove my personal truck a few years ago after a weekend of hunter hunting. We had shooters in the door, center console. Wife said I had a problem. I told her, we're drunks, we're not alcoholics. Back home. It's a good. Yeah, differentiate.

[Brady]

Finally, the World Humanoid Robot Games kicked off in Beijing with AI powered robots. It played soccer, kickboxing, track.

[Brett]

See the one. The video, the one that face plants. Oh, my God.

[Brady]

There's multiple.

[Brett]

A couple of gems on there. They struggle getting up.

[Brady]

The. The other guy's running with the dude on the track.

[Brett]

The soccer thing screws with your brain because it's moving around, and after a second, you're like. You know what it reminds me of? Like, in television, like, you can tell it's soccer, but it's not quite right and it's moving. Or they had a stadium and all that, but the running of the first. Yeah, it looks okay, and then you're used to it, and now it's normal. The Soccer game was so weird.

[Brady]

It's funny how they boxing.

[Brett]

I didn't see boxing.

[Brady]

Oh yeah. Watch this knockout.

[John Holmberg]

Oh man, that's some artario.

[Brett]

That one ate it. And then when they get up, the other one just kicks him and then it falls. That was me in the hotel at the Aria learning how to stop gymnastics. Oh, yeah. Oh, his leg broke. Oh, he shattered his leg. The poor little guy.

[John Holmberg]

Guys, these shooter bottles.

[Brett]

But by the way.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I'll tell you this. That's the first time we've seen that. And I'm impressed.

[Brady]

Right?

[Brett]

Imagine what that's going to be like in 10 years.

[Brady]

That's going to be crazy in three months.

[Brett]

Yeah, no, yeah, good point. That's a goal for you to stick around, Brady. Just check out.

[Brady]

Yeah, I want to see it.

[Brett]

You eat healthier and you can see robot Olympics. On the flip side though, like you said when I showed you that lady who just broke the record for largest lip fillers in the world and she put red lipstick on. And all the comments are like fierce fire. The red is hot. This woman Brady even said, what planet am I on? I'm with you. I don't get it. But her lips are bigger than her face now. And she's. And people were like, this is awesome. You look great. She looks crazy.

[Brady]

So I want to stick her to a side of a shark.

[Brett]

Yeah. Oh my God.

[Brady]

Around the ocean.

[Brett]

And even the other like lampreys would look at her like, what's going on with your lips? Little big for a lamprey. Don't you think the. Maybe Brady's got the right idea. Maybe checking out about now is not such a bad idea. Just before it all goes crazy. Just, you know what? Take the nap.

[Brady]

Got a couple more Sleep. Sleep.

[Brett]

I say it about my friend Kevin who ran in front of a cab and got killed. Maybe. Maybe he was right.

[Brady]

This is a new new one in the bull ring. You know, we've seen him where had a bunch of people standing around. This one is the challenge. The bull.

[Brett]

There's hundreds of people in the bull ring.

[Brady]

They're trying to get them to the.

[Brett]

Bulls kind of staring at him.

[Brady]

So we got one guy that's gonna step out here and try to get things going. There he goes.

[Brett]

He's running right at the bull. And the bull's like, no, you're not. Just chested him. Oh. And he picks him up with a horn and chest shocks him.

[Brady]

He was trying to jump over him.

[Brett]

I don't know what he was trying to do. Trying to. Yeah. But he Did. His timing was a little off. Well, he got hit in the chest, so he didn't jump that high. He was trying to, like, spring over him. He just does the leap. Like. No, we're not doing that. Like, he almost. Like he leaped right into it. Well, you're asking for it. Where are they? And kudos to the bull for keeping it so cool. There's.

[Brady]

You can't read the writing on the arena. Miguel de la Cruz Assadorius.

[Brett]

Dump. Yeah, Espanol dump. Mexico or Central America or someplace.

[Brady]

Next one. Next one's for Brett. Oh, get your pasta served to you.

[Brett]

Girl's got a, like a. Oh, she got like a wine glass. She just. Oh, she had a little. Oh, gross. Okay, so she had. Oh, come on, man. All right, I'll explain this. She's got a wine glass filled with, like, spiral noodles. She's got some parmesan cheese on top of it. Turns it over. She undoes the glass, Parmesan drops off. She shoots broccoli out of her mouth onto the. Onto the parsley. Parsley, whatever. And then fires some salt at it. It's all AI, but it's. Salt comes out of her nose. And you've got a delicious. Thank God it's AI.

[Brady]

That's not AI.

[Brett]

Yeah, you can't. You can tell when the parsley comes out of her mouth. Like, it. That smells. That's AI. I'm impressed, though, because it's getting to the point where nobody knows.

[Brady]

Next one. It's just a drop person.

[Brett]

Couple. Oh, a couple dudes.

[Brady]

Gotta watch the guy from the side.

[Brett]

Yeah, always. They're velociraptors in that country. The guy you think you're fighting, that's Africa. The guy you think you're fighting is not the guy you're fighting. The guy in the Buffalo Bills World Champions 1993 shirt is. Is the guy you're actually needing to pay attention.

[Brady]

Like a double breasted coat.

[Brett]

Yeah, it is over. That's right. Thank you. You're the Jim Lampley of Uganda. Thank you.

[Brady]

You're trying to stop somebody here on the. This last one from. From jumping.

[Brett]

Oh, there's a guy. Oh, he. They failed. He jumped. He left.

[Brady]

Naked or she?

[Brett]

Is that a girl? I think it's a girl. Oh, yeah, she's totally nude. Is that a real person?

[Brady]

I don't know that. We've seen other ones that have made a bigger mess.

[Brett]

That's a real person. Midway through. It looks like a big plastic person. That noise. Mannequin. Unmistakable, though. There's no Blood, like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's no splat, though. There would have to be.

[Brett]

You'd think so. Nude. A lot of people running towards it. Yikes. I don't like watching that. That even though we watched it eight times. All right, Brett, what do you got?

[John Holmberg]

I got more goofy stuff than anything else.

[Brett]

Keep it goofy. It's early in the week.

[John Holmberg]

Try this one. Things you see in the middle of the street.

[Brett]

Oh, my God. A lady performing oral sex in the center lane of A. And this how you up traffic. This is how you mess up traffic. This is exactly how you f up traffic.

[John Holmberg]

What's your name?

[Brett]

That's the biggest flex since the B2 went over Putin and Trump the other day. Asking a girl who is actually performing oral sex on you, what's your name? That's phenomenal.

[John Holmberg]

More signs in the street here.

[Brett]

All right. What is that? Oh, my God. That's a guy putting his digging in hand in another person's butt at a bunch of bus stop. Male or female? That's a female Think. Yeah. He's laying across the bus stop and she's giving a moral. And then he put his hand at her behind and looked around for something. Jesus.

[Brady]

Starting off strong.

[Brett]

Wacky stuff. What is this? Oh, all right. Okay. I know how this works. Sadly. I know what just happened. That's Snoop Dogg's body, but it's. It's somebody's B hole. And a man is performing gay sex on it to the best. And then when he pops out, all the smoke comes out, because prior to that, they hot boxed his butthole. Sure, Birdie, you can put your phone down. You don't have to. You don't have to research that. Here's.

[John Holmberg]

Here's a broken from Brian.

[Brett]

Don't Google that. Don't Google. Google that. All right. Oh, we're going mountain biking. Oh, jumpy goes. Oh, the front wheels that can't control it. Goes over the next and then goes face into the next.

[Brady]

Oh, that wasn't intentional.

[Brett]

He lost control and was leaning forward. He needed to go back a little bit. Got on the front wheel after a jump and then hit the next jump and went face into the back of the wall. That dude definitely has spinal condition. All right, I'll save that one for more nudity. Okay, we're at the Eiffel Tower. There's a beautiful girl at the Eiffel Tower. She pulls a balloon down. She's got humongous breasts.

[John Holmberg]

That's the only reason.

[Brett]

Bending over, I think she's gonna shoot a dart out of her butt. At the balloon. At the Eiffel Tower. No fire. She just shot fire out of her bottom and blew up a balloon in front of the Eiffel. Eiffel Tower.

[John Holmberg]

But great cans.

[Brett]

Everything about that was great for some reason. What? I need details. Like, that's like a magic trick. Am I not allowed to know how that works? Okay, come on. This is a mentally challenged Asian person finally violently fiddling her bean on a subway.

[John Holmberg]

Is that a her?

[Brett]

I don't know. I think so, dude. The way it's working, it looks for the music, though. Now the fiddling part is. I think that's a woman. That's not good for the community. What is going on, Brittany? All right. Oh, okay. We got somebody bent over a table. And there's multiple hands going through something here where they're. They're removing something from behind a person. Is that a butt? It's like, got a rope on it.

[Brady]

Oh, it's a rat.

[Brett]

Is that a rat or a bat?

[Brady]

Mouse. Is it? Yeah.

[Brett]

Is that a mouse inside a man's butt? Who is screaming? What kind of hospital are we in? What is that out of there?

[Brady]

Why?

[Brett]

What are you fiddling around with?

[Brady]

Opening it back up on the person.

[Brett]

Is somebody having a. A cocktail with this?

[John Holmberg]

Looks like it's coming out of the belly button.

[Brett]

It is the stomach. I can't tell if it was a bent over. It's a gut mouse. That's a thing.

[Brady]

Gut mouse.

[Brett]

Gut mouse is a great baby. Yeah. This isn't sanitary. There's somebody who.

[John Holmberg]

And look at Dr. Patel there with just no gloves, got his Rolex on.

[Brett]

And. And the other person has a blue curacao. They've got a grasshopper or something in there. Like somebody's drinking while this operation is happening.

[John Holmberg]

That's all we got.

[Brett]

Holy smokes. Yeah. The world's coming to an end.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, thank God.

[Brett]

Yeah. Brady, no anesthesia next week. Let's just go in dry and try to get you out of this mess. You don't need to see anymore. You've been through, but a nice long.

[Brady]

Naval rat comes out.

[Brett]

Yeah. If they pull a rat out, too. It's just. I'm gonna pillow you. There's no reason for this. You know what? Cancel the surgery. Just coast until this getcha. I think you're all right. I think getting out of this. I'm envious now of Brady's condition. It's 8:38. There you go, everybody. My God. So many questions. A. Why did you go that way to get the mouse out of your tummy? There's obviously a way in. Either swallowed it or stuffed it up. Something that doesn't belong. It didn't burrow. So when you go through the other way. Of course, then again, you wouldn't have been doing it with a. At a bar. I'm throwing up.

[Brady]

It was on a dare, I guess.

[Brett]

You find the mouse, win a thousand dollars. I don't know how it works. That's it. There goes your Brady Report. I'm gonna puke now. It's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Brett]

No membership fee. I have hoodies. Enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Goodness. Today's going fast and we have to. I don't know who won the Pantera thing. Did you have a name?

[John Holmberg]

I don't think it was ever called out.

[Brett]

Nobody told us. One of you guys won the Pantera thing and we have not been told.

[John Holmberg]

Find out. I'll hit up Ben.

[Brett]

Find out right away. Did we make the call?

[John Holmberg]

That's a good question.

[Brett]

It's a great question. No one knows. Anyway, congratulations to whoever. We'll get a name eventually. See, that's the danger. We pass it on to the promotions department for this awesome promotion, and then nobody talks to us ever again. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Is it in the book or anything? I doubt it. The book of 100%.

[Brett]

The book of all the information. Congratulations. Station info this week? Yeah, No, I got nothing. We're giving away some Breaking Benjamin tickets.

[John Holmberg]

I guess I'll text Ben right now and find out.

[Brett]

We do have the Native Grill and Wings. You get to meet Toledo at Waddell and Litchfield. My God. We are pushing him to Waddell and Litchfield.

[John Holmberg]

He's just going out there. The cartel lives out there.

[Brett]

That's right. His friends from the cartel stay at their house, Waddell and Litchfield. He'll be out there on Thursday. More chances to win $979 just for cramming wings in your gullet. Handle the heat. It's a hot wing eating contest out there at Native Grill and Wings.

[Brady]

Last.

[Brett]

Yeah. How your guy was Thursday?

[Brady]

The guy did almost, I think, close to £4.

[Brett]

£4? Similar. A good crowd. Good, good. Eight participants.

[Brady]

They're signing up early.

[Brett]

Oh, boy.

[Brady]

It was full at 2pm no kidding. Yeah.

[Brett]

All right, so you got to get this. First come, first served.

[Brady]

So get over there.

[Brett]

And repeat offenders from last year no.

[Brady]

But I, no, I didn't recognize any. We had a father son battling. Oh, and the father was the second qualifier.

[Brett]

Okay. All right. So we got a couple going in. All right. And do it again on Thursday. That's the thing. I want to get to this because it's preseason football time. We've been talking a little bit about it. I, I, I've gotten involved in a podcast with Dale Hellas. Trey and his friend Dave Nash talked a little bit about earlier. So I, I joined in yesterday and was part of it and just started to bring some things. It's, I think they're calling it at this sports thing. And that'll be the podcast. It's not available yet, but it will be probably end of the week, I would guess maybe even sooner, but we'll let you know about that. But I did bring this up on the thing and they said I was crazy. But then I think I talked him into it. And I want your guys thoughts on this preseason football's going on. I watched, I watched a little coverage of, you know, little bits here and there on the Internet and stuff. And I saw the clip of Tom Brady walking into the Las Vegas Raiders facilities with the old satin Al Davis Raiders jacket, the white one, Remember the white one? He always used to wear that thing. He's wearing glasses. Didn't have the grandma chain that attached to his ear like Al Davis's old grandma glasses. But he's doing some sort of a tribute to Al Davis. He's got the coat. He's a Raider now. He's the owner of the Raiders.

[Brady]

So that was approved.

[Brett]

He's been the owner for while. Here's the thing I'm saying. Do we not all outside of Patriot Village recognize that Tom Brady's second best achievement in the professional sports ranks was cheating constantly and getting away with it?

[Brady]

Michigan guy, what can I tell you?

[Brett]

Brady Brady's not wrong at Michigan and he couldn't even cheat his way to be the starter there. He kept losing to Drew Henson. He gets into the pros, they start rattling around tapes for four or five years. Get caught, don't go to any Super Bowls for a little bit. Deflate gate, shows up, get caught. He's bad at cheating. He gets caught doing it all the time. Here he is with the Raiders relationships. He's broadcasting for Fox now. Part of the rules are he's not allowed to go to the team. Most of the broadcast teams go to the facilities during the week. Thursday, Friday, they'll let you sit in as the broadcast team talk to the coaches, watch a walkthrough. The most important practice of the week, by the way, is Friday because that's when you've installed everything. You do the walkthrough of your first 15 plays, stuff like that. And, you know, there's. Tom Brady's no longer allowed to do that. But I posed this question. If Jerry Jones was broadcasting games for CBS and had, let's say, the Bengals on their schedule this year here and four weeks earlier, Jerry Jones is sitting there talking to Zach Taylor, watching your walk through, getting some information, it would be. No, the whole facility would shut down. If the owner of a team came on to another team's practice, they'd all be like, what's he doing here? This is bad. Get him out. Like, I don't. I. I don't even. I know we're not even doing anything that special, but I don't want to see a wrinkle in this. I don't want him to notice anything. We're doing personnel, what he's got an eye on. So, okay, they made the rule. Tom Brady's not allowed to do that or interview the coach. He could pay one of the scrubs that's on the broadcast team. You don't think Kevin Burkhart, his broadcast partner, leans over and goes, give me a couple million dollars under the table. I'll tell you everything you need to know about what they're doing when you play the Broncos. If the, if the. If they're calling the Packers Broncos game and the Raiders and Broncos are in the same division. If I'm the Broncos, I'm like, this MFER isn't allowed anywhere near any practice or game that we do all year long. He can't call a game against the team that is eventually going, they're cheating again. Tom Brady's known for it. Nobody's saying anything. If the Bidwells were in the Eagles practice, they'd stop practice. Why is Tom Brady. Have anybody, underlings or otherwise allowed in?

[John Holmberg]

He's Tom Brady.

[Brett]

It's one or the other.

[Brady]

I don't know. I think he'd be okay with the Bidwells going to the.

[Brett]

Well, they wouldn't pick it up. They don't know football very well. You're right. That's true. Okay, the Bidwells are allowed to all the practice. Maybe they'll pick something up. But bottom line is any other owner, that's that close. Former player, doesn't matter.

[Brady]

He knows the game.

[Brett]

He's getting insight no one else gets. If you. Again, maybe former player let's say Jason Kelsey decides to go to the. He might have some loyalties back to his real team, but Tom has a vested interest in the Raiders doing well financially immediate. It's not like two. Two places removed. He is an owner of the Raiders if they happen to beat the Broncos. And two weeks earlier, he was watching a walkthrough, or they're practicing an onside kick or something and discover that Jerry Jeudy lines up different in the onside kick, and he's like, that's coming. There's definite advantages. No other owner would be allowed to do this. Why is he. And I know what you say. He's Tom Brady. Well, Tom Brady has a history of cheating, does he not? Shouldn't we have an extra eye on him? Him when it gets a little sideways?

[John Holmberg]

Well, isn't that up to the team to say, all right, all right, Brady.

[Brett]

Get him out of here. He's not allowed in, but all of his broadcast guys are. And if you're. If. If I'm.

[Brady]

And his assistant stallions is allowed in.

[Brett]

If I'm sitting there and I'm like, look, I'm not allowed to go, but the kid that keeps my notes is. And it's you. And I'm Tom Brady. And I'm like, hey, Brett, when you're in there, 100 grand, videotape some of them. This we need, boss. Yeah, exactly. Each week, I give you another 100,000 for 17 solid weeks.

[Brady]

The two guys that got blown out.

[Brett]

During flight gate, it's a million seven. It's a million seven a year for you to do a little, you know, taping accidentally or give me some info that you heard. Be my eyes and ears, because we got to play this team twice this year, and I want a little extra if you can get it. There might not be any in it. Might not be, but you might glean some thing and that. And nobody's thinking about that guy, but it might be because he's got a direct tie. You either are the owner of a team or you're a broadcast. You cannot be both. There were strict rules about this a few years ago that they just kind of go, oh, okay, never mind. And it's not like Tom Brady's that great at it. I'm just a Tom Brady. Like, I am a conspiratorial person towards Tom Brady. He's the flake gate thing. Still, to me, statistically, there's some stats with that that lined up in the Patriots favor. They didn't lose a game at home for, like, two years. Their fumble ratio was double that of any other team. They never fumbled at home. And they were number one in that statistic for five straight years where all the other teams were jumbled up and switched back and forth. The Patriots, the only consistent ones that never fumbled. And it was because they were flattening the footballs at home. It's true. And who told on the other team when they got hold of the ball? They're like, this isn't right. Because they knew. There were rumors. They do a little something special. The football's here that's different than everybody else. We all scuff them. We all do. Anyway. Tom Brady's cheating. Mark my words. You heard it here first. 8, 18, 25. There will be trouble with this. There will be trouble with this. A week and a half before the season starts. Tom Brady's cheating again. That's my conspiracy for the 2025 season. And you know who should be most upset? The Chiefs, the Chargers. And the Broncos. The division rivals.

[Brady]

You can get a couple more rings.

[Brett]

Guy can load up his whole hand. He's got seven already.

[Brady]

That's the goal.

[Brett]

And if the Raiders win a championship. Come on. And you know who his head coach is? USC's Pete Carroll. Remember that guy?

[Brady]

Yep.

[Brett]

Before he went to Seattle.

[Brady]

He good?

[Brett]

He cheated his way all the way through USC to a championship. And when the crap hit the fan, he was gone. Get a whole gaggle of him. Raiders cheating again. It's the only way they know how to win. It's 904. Just throwing it out there. Discuss it amongst yourselves. Don't bother me with it because I have my opinion. I'm sticking to it. We got what Would Brady Do? Coming up next. It's 98.

[Brady]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[Brett]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98, the eve of PT. What? What? This damn thing's still not fixed.

[John Holmberg]

You're surprised?

[Brett]

Blew out everybody's speakers with that one. Did what it wanted anyway. Hi, everybody. It's time for what Would Brady Do? The most moral man in all of Phoenix is joining us once again. And maybe for the last time. Could be starting next week. We're going to remove what the original Bible thought were his brains. Talked about the kidneys being the thought center. Taking one out next week. We're all wishing Brady the best. But before he goes, he fixes your problems. And it's brought to you by M and P Guns, 12th street and Indian School. If you want to head on over there, you can grab yourself all the stuff they've got inside. It's in Mo Money Pond, so you can't miss that. Wander around, do some shopping, hop in there to M and P Guns and start your collection. Or continue your collection with anything you can imagine. If you want it, they can get it. They probably already have it. And it's right there on that back wall with some of the smartest people in the world of ammo you'll ever meet. They know their stuff. They'll help you build one. They got classes for that as well. Check it all out. MMP Guns. It's at Mo Money Pawn. Just mowmoneypawn.com, right? Yeah, right. Why does that sound wrong all of a sudden?

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, it's MMP guns dot com.

[Brett]

Oh, they have that. Oh, that's right. It's their own thing. That's why. Because I was saying Mo Money Pond, but you can go to Mooney pond.com.

[John Holmberg]

I'M sure there's a link on that.

[Brett]

There'll be a link. Same place. Thank you to them. Are you ready, Brady?

[Brady]

Ready.

[Brett]

Only got a couple today and one came just a little bit ago. It says my wife. I just heard you mentioned the lip filler lady this morning. Yeah, I forgot her name. I think I have it in here. Her lips are ridiculous.

[Brady]

That picture you showed me just.

[Brett]

Yeah. I don't know if.

[Brady]

Didn't look.

[Brett]

Oh, it's not human. Real, simply not human. Yeah. Oh, here she is. Look at this. How did I miss that? Where's she at? Damn.

[Brady]

It looks like. She looks like one of those stress dolls. Dolls that you squeeze.

[Brett]

She looks like. Yeah, it does. It looks exactly like that. It also looks like. Look at this. Brett, her name is. I'll tell everybody to go look at Andrea Ivanova. Brett, you do not have in your brain pictured the proper, like what you consider the biggest lips of all time. You would never imagine a woman did this to herself. Oh, my God, that's her without the lipstick.

[Brady]

Then she puts the lipstick on.

[Brett]

In this day and age, you'd think to yourself, everybody'd be like, okay, put her in a long jacket because that's her lipstick on. Oh, Jesus Christ. And all the comments on this are favorable. I clicked on this because I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. The comments show up roses. You look gorgeous.

[John Holmberg]

Looks Like a rosebud.

[Brett]

Heart. Heart. Heart. Beautiful. Unbelievable. Perfect lips. Love the red. Most beautiful lips ever. Fire. Red is so hot. Your red lips are popping.

[Brady]

Yeah, they are.

[Brett]

Red is a sexy color for nice big lips. Put some gloss on that. And glossy red, too.

[John Holmberg]

These all broads, girls.

[Brett]

If you want a man to stand at attention, that's how you do it. That's from Jack Tech Tips, of course. And this one says, check your private messages, baby. And then Finally, Debbie Morrison, 160, says, that looks disgusting. She's right. Charlotte says, you're right. That looks stupid. What's wrong with her then? Awesome. Red lips, hot tongue. I love you and I can't wait to pump you bigger. Yeah, that's what it is. But this lady is absurd. Look her up, Andrea Ivanova. Anyway, we talked about her world's biggest lips, and evidently that's a thing people are shooting for. I don't know. I miss the days when being a human was the. Was nice. This one says, heard you mention the lip filler lady this morning. My wife wants to get her lips done and is talking about an eye lift and. Or a facelift. I'm all for some personal beautification, but I am the one who has to pay for this. And frankly, I told her not real sure I'm a fan of it. I don't like the big puffy lips. And most plastic surgery looks funny on people. People she swears she's not going to overdo it. Then I saw her plans in her bedroom for a neck surgery and something called a lid lift. Oh, yeah, that's more eye work. She also has a friend who talked her into Botox, but it made her one eye droop down like she was dying, so she's scared to do it again. She's only 36 years old. Is this something as the payer I should encourage or discourage? Ryan?

[Brady]

Discourage?

[Brett]

Yeah, you know, when plastic. Oh, completely agree. When plastic surgery is good, you don't know they had it. Yeah, but if you notice plastic surgery.

[Brady]

And lips are the first one swing the other way. Now people want you to realize, yeah, they had it.

[John Holmberg]

What's this broad look like ahead of time? Does she look like a Shar Pei? I mean, she may need that eyelid.

[Brady]

Well, the blepharoplasty plasti, I think they call it.

[Brett]

Oh, what's that? Oh, that's the eyelid.

[Brady]

Yeah. Because if you have that overhang.

[Brett]

Have you had that block?

[Brady]

No.

[Brett]

Oh, wow.

[Brady]

But I did work with a Southwest eye Center. They would do that.

[Brett]

The Southwest Eye center did the one I went to a long, long time ago.

[Brady]

Long time ago.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Brady]

Got into that a little bit.

[Brett]

I don't know that I like that kind of plastic surgery. Huh?

[Brady]

Yeah, the. Because for some people, it blocks their vision.

[Brett]

Oh, for. Yeah, for that kind of thing. That's different. That's almost a medical procedure more than it is a physical. Like, looks better. It does look better.

[Brady]

Better, though.

[Brett]

36 is awfully young. But Brett's right. Maybe she needs it. And. But you're right, Brady. It used to be you did surgery, and people would guess whether or not you had work. Now it seems like women do it. Like, look, I had work, and they're doing it on the lips are the worst ones. Ladies, when you get your lips done, there's a. Here's a dead giveaway. And I don't know if they see it. There's a spot in the corner of your mouth that is where your lips just start and it's in the wrong place. There's like a little piece of your lips that don't inflate. It's like a balloon knot, and it doesn't look right. And when you overdo your lips, you look crazy. And also, you start flapping a little when you talk. I noticed. Yeah. The first few days. Yeah. You turn into release. Ithaca. I just came to save you.

[Brady]

I gotta let them settle in for a couple of days.

[Brett]

Yeah. Don't go to work for, like, do it on a Friday. But if you get it done on a Monday and you show up the next day, it's clear what just happened. You look crazy.

[Brady]

And the filler and Botox excitement.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

You want to look excited.

[Brett]

Oh, I like Botox. I've had that done. It makes me feel good. You don't got the same when they.

[Brady]

Do it to the point.

[Brett]

Oh, it's different when they're freezing.

[Brady]

You look excited.

[John Holmberg]

You look like Reba McIntyre. Now smile.

[Brett]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Perma.

[Brett]

Smile. Reba can't move.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Brett]

She's always looked like a. Like one of Jeff Dunham's puppets to me. She always has that weird. Like, she should have two hands drawn down like her. Like those old mannequins. What are those things called? It's a mannequin or a dummy. What do they call them? What the dummies called? I can't remember the name of the puppet. Yeah. What are they called, though?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Brett]

Search with them, doesn't it? Yeah, I can't think of it.

[John Holmberg]

Mana.

[Brett]

Mana Shavitz. No, Mana Skin. Ah, yes.

[Brady]

Ventriloquist has a marionette marinette.

[Brett]

Marionettes are on strings. Marionettes are on strings.

[Brady]

I think it's a dummy.

[Brett]

No, dummy works. It's a ventriloquist dummy.

[John Holmberg]

Depends on what she looks like. Her name, dummy.

[Brett]

Anyway, she's going to look like that is what we're saying. Do you pay for that, though, or do you just pay for one? Pick the one you think she needs the most. Pay for that and tell her if you want anything else, get a job.

[Brady]

It doesn't. Some of that happen, but once. Once they start, like you start the fillers and Botox, you it. I've never heard someone cut back from that.

[John Holmberg]

I always go too far.

[Brett]

Most of the time when you're hearing about it, it's because they went too far. So you. There are women who have, like, cut back, I'm sure, who are like, I'm not doing this anymore. It's just a bad idea. Because they're the ones that didn't get crazy in the first place, but they saw it going down a bad path. So I think you only hear about, like, oh, it went crazy. So, like, they always go too far. Here's one thing I do also know. Women are never happy with it. Look at your wife's closet.

[John Holmberg]

Now, they're never.

[Brett]

And count how many times they say they don't have anything to wear. Now imagine that's their face.

[Brady]

But once they start.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, it's.

[Brady]

It's on. It's an addiction.

[Brett]

That's my point. They say I don't have anything to wear. So they buy more clothes even though they got a full closet of them. So they'll look and go, oh, this didn't fit. Now my nose looks funny. So it's always going to domino into other stuff.

[Brady]

But I think once, you know, like you said, they start on those fillers and. And the Botox.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

It's hard not to start because if you feel good, it makes you feel good.

[Brett]

Right. And it is our job as men to go, you've gone too far and take the risk of being the dick. Like, your lips look crazy. We get excited when she comes home with inflatable doll lips for like a day or two. And then you're like, this looks nuts. But you want to use them the first couple days. Not that big a difference. Holmberg's morning sickness. So, yeah, I would say discouraged. There's the big lipped lady next to a presenting baboon, I guess I don't know what that thing is. And it looks just like the Ass of a primate trying to let the other primates know it's mating season. Her lips do look like over inflated bike tires that you turned pink and people think it's hot.

[John Holmberg]

Just go to Action Ride shop and get those on.

[Brett]

Oh yeah, they wouldn't fit on most bikes. Likes you got that 4 inch gap in your. Well, so to speak. Anyway, you say do not encourage this but you don't give him any advice on like would you let it. Would you pay for one? Well, like what if her eyes are like goofy, droopy. You're like that. Yeah, that might look. Yeah, a little bit. Nothing wrong with that.

[John Holmberg]

But then you're a dick because then you're pointing out her flaw. Oh, so that's what's wrong with me, huh?

[Brett]

Well, you got to dance around with that and then she's going to want to do that thing, right? So. Okay, so what you have to do is pick the thing you want do to want done the least and say I'll pay for that. What's wrong with that? Like, oh, that's the one you need the most work on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

You don't like my lips at all? No, you need, you need bigger lips. Like big time. They're awful. What about my eyes? Oh, don't touch those. Oh, really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Then she's gonna do her eyes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's reverse psychology.

[Brady]

Guess what?

[Brett]

They hate you.

[Brady]

Get your checkbook out.

[Brett]

Yeah. You're gonna pay for it. You know, as much as you're saying.

[Brady]

No, it's not gonna happen. It's going to happen. They'll figure it out some way or another.

[Brett]

Well that's fine as long as it's not. You're not. It's not cutting you 10 grand a time, you know, because it's not gonna stop at I and next thing you know their neck. Like he said she other two other things in her. She's got pamphlets all over the house.

[Brady]

Who's she hanging out with now there's.

[Brett]

Another things like find out who the girl is that's talking her into this.

[Brady]

The gaggle gets together.

[Brett]

They said it's all right. You just start doing. Just get a little work done on your chin so you don't have that waddle. No girl should have a waddle. And the next thing you know, she's getting her neck done and her ears are behind her head. She looks like a pin cushion or a voodoo doll. She's getting. Her forehead's getting bigger. Like what's walk around the Biltmore. Oh, it's so fun to walk into biltmore and see 80 year old arms. Yeah, 80 year old arms and 48 year old faces. Their necks are all wobbly and wrinkly, but their faces are tight as a snare drum.

[John Holmberg]

You got the 570s, five year old cans, 70 year old body.

[Brett]

Yeah, she's like an old Oldsmobile. It's an old mobile 570. What does that mean? She's old and she's got five year cancer warranty on. That's pretty good. Cans are fine. Go put in the cans. They've pretty much mastered that. So if your wife needs new cans, that's the plastic surgery you're willing to pay for, right? This lip thing, I don't get it. Especially if you didn't have lips before. And that goes for ladies who didn't have breasts. If you've got a really flat chest and you go have implants put in, do it tastefully. Otherwise it looks like they shoved a couple of softballs into your chest and it looks funny. You gotta have a little meat there and then just add meat. It's like what Brady does to a burger. This could use one more patty. Just a little bit more. Round it out. But nothing to something with lips and breasts. Horrible butts too, when they do those bbls. Hilarious.

[Brady]

I think those are going down.

[Brett]

Thank God. God. Yeah. So Brady says, you're going to pay for it. You might as well break out your checkbook. So you say, go ahead, encourage away.

[Brady]

And I would encourage. I always try to shoot for like anything. Moderation at first.

[Brett]

Not going to happen.

[Brady]

I know, but you can only try.

[Brett]

What would you get done on Matthiah?

[John Holmberg]

Nothing.

[Brett]

That's a perfect answer. The best lie. Gum. One. Of course. They're perfect. As we see.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely.

[Brett]

But if she said, I want to get like size Cs, you'd be like, oh, okay, whatever you want to do.

[John Holmberg]

You paying for them.

[Brett]

Oh, that's. That's a strong Italian right there. Because I would have already written half that checkered. Like we make this out too. Dear Brady, the wife and I drink, and now she wants to quit. And she said that she's going to quit starting Monday, meaning today. And if she quits, I have to. All the liquor has to get out of the house because she wants to get healthy. Why the f do I have to quit? She said, it's me being supportive. When does this end? What would Brady do? Jason Clizon. There's no way that's your real last name. She's got to quit. So you got to quit. That happens with food. With women a lot too. I had a friend whose wife got healthy with food and his house was just all. All gluten free grains and weird stuff where it used to be food. Like they had actual food in the house, your house.

[Brady]

But it's like, you know, you turn into a marine kind of that you adapt and overcome those situations.

[Brett]

You just find ways to drink without her.

[Brady]

Fine. Yeah.

[Brett]

Baby bottles. We're back on the baby bottles.

[Brady]

But it only helps, like, you know.

[Brett]

You know, I disagree. A man should be able to come home to his house, pour himself a stiff drink after hard day's work if he wants to. And if she's got to stop drinking, she needs to show a little willpower, right? I mean, there's a vagina in the house all day long. Doesn't mean it's yours all the time. You got to show some control. You can't just go to, you know, attack city constantly. You got to show some willpower. Even though you want it. Can't have it all the time. Time. So you gotta, you know, be smart.

[John Holmberg]

This guy's gonna have many bottles all over.

[Brett]

Oh, he's gonna be covered in many bottles.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing but fireball, little shooters.

[Brett]

Take a stand.

[Brady]

If it's that bad, I'd be.

[Brett]

Well, it's not bad. Nobody's saying.

[Brady]

I know.

[Brett]

She just wants to be healthy.

[Brady]

Okay. Just the fact that it's around.

[Brett]

Yeah. She's like, if I gotta quit drinking, we can't. Yeah. It's like if you got a drinking problem, if. If Ronnie says, no more meats in the house.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

And you're like, what the hell do I have to quit for now? Obviously right now she's probably. That would be a right thing. But let's say you're in a normal medical condition and she takes away meats or disconnects the grill. No more grilling. I don't want it. Why do you have to not do it? Because she can't control herself in the house.

[Brady]

It's a slightly inconvenient for the time being, but I have access to many.

[Brett]

Seven brothers is right down the road. I know. We all have access to other stuff.

[Brady]

It's called willpower. It depends on what it is. Like, you know, you're asking me so for drinking. Well, drinking, you know, a person can't, you know, like, if it's around there and they can't.

[Brett]

But you don't drink and Ronnie does. But if you said no drinking in this house anymore because I don't want It. She'd be like, screw you. I'm an adult. I can do what I want.

[Brady]

How dare you?

[Brett]

That's wrong.

[Brady]

It is interesting how it works. I'm sorry. It just doesn't work that way.

[Brett]

Way. But that's not fair.

[Brady]

I know.

[Brett]

And so say so. If your wife's trying to put her foot down because she doesn't want chocolate in the house anymore and you happen to like it and you can control yourself, and she can't say, all right, well, you need to understand that chocolate exists in this world, and I enjoy it. Just because you've made this proclamation doesn't mean I can.

[Brady]

How long. How long do you want to do this?

[Brett]

Where is this? Forever.

[Brady]

Does this mean, like, you don't want me to drink around you? Is that the main reason? Because it'll upset you that I'm enjoying myself?

[Brett]

That's really the big thing, because how can you do that in front of me? Like, people who try to quit smoking and they make the person who doesn't want to quit keep doing it. You're just gonna. What you're doing is creating a liar.

[Brady]

And those situations I kind of go into. I answer that question that the wife is asking him to do. It's like, would I do this to her? What? I asked this of her.

[Brett]

And that's the kind of.

[Brady]

If the answer is yes, then okay. But if you're saying no, I wouldn't do that to my. I wouldn't make my right wife have to do this.

[Brett]

The flippity flop for me is always the thing that makes the argument easy. And it really doesn't have any bearing of going would if we flipped roles, would this. It doesn't matter. Like, those things. Those aren't real. But the problem is, to me is that, like, remember our buddy Doug who worked here? And his wife said you and he. She was right. He had, like, stuff that when he ate wrong, his stomach went sideways. Crazy. And so he lied to her. She created a liar. He'd come to work with McDonald's all the time. She'd pack him some beautiful lunch, and he had, like, an egg McMuffin or something. This is a long time ago. He's over this. But remember that, you know? Well, yeah. You know what? Maybe he started and he started telling me some tales, but fact of the matter was, she was dictating how the food was going to be in his life. And he's like, it's not that big a deal to me.

[Brady]

She's trying to help him.

[Brett]

So she cracked down at Home saying, this is the way it's going to be. And he's like, no, now. So what you did was create a. A really good liar, and then you're going to catch him in lies and be mad at him for that. But you made it.

[John Holmberg]

But this guy said it wasn't a problem, so it shouldn't matter.

[Brett]

So he should be able to drink all he wants.

[John Holmberg]

He should walk in with this playing on the stereo as soon as he walks in the door.

[Brett]

This is a man's world. Damn right. This is a man's world. Well, what if she counters with the Beyonce women? We own this mother. Hey, just turn it up. I guess Just get around her own. Trying to compare Beyonce to James Brown. That's right. There's a man. I think we should all say that. If you're in the middle of a fight with a woman. And she starts now. From here on out, no more beer in the house. There's a man. What'd you just say? There's a man.

[John Holmberg]

Preach on, brother James.

[Brett]

Did you just sing to me? There's a man. Well, you're just. There's no talking to you. There's a mess. She'd storm off.

[Brady]

How long do you want to stop this dream? I want to do it for three months. I'll see you in 90 days.

[Brett]

Don't you do it. Don't you do it. Don't make me do it. Don't you do it. I swear to God. I know. We gotta go. I got excited about that. Have it on your phone at all times. And from now on, no sugar or sweets in the house. I hate you and James Brown. Give me a little knee bit. Make it. Tired of this sugar and Twitter. No, it's mad. What? Anyway. All right. Sorry, Toledo. Stop staring at me. There you go. That, my friends, is what Brady did. And it's a man's world. We solved another problem. Damn right. It's 98. It's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership feed.

[Brett]

I've heard enough of this for you. P.D. hornberg's morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Rude? It's official. Golf talk is interesting to me, and I. Not sure. Oh, I don't want to do that yet. I'm not sure. That's good. I missed the golf tournament. I feel like I missed something. Brady and Tripp started to talk about the golf. Evidently, Scotty Scheffler had a shot yesterday. That was ridiculous.

[Brady]

It was a BMW.

[Brett]

Was this. The $10 million win next week is okay. So I don't know how that only.

[Brady]

The top 30 got to qualify. And then the same thing on the. The. The other side that live.

[Brett]

Yeah, that was a big.

[Brady]

Their big one is next week, too.

[Brett]

Problem with golf right now, it's too many white guys.

[Brady]

Fact, boring sprinkled in there, you know, like the JJ spawn.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. But still, you got to have a dominant person. Yeah, fine. You got to have it. Scotty Scheffler is the current Tiger woods. And that's. We've seen that before, so it's nothing new here. It's like Rocky 4. Like, I know what to expect, but what he's doing. Oh, he's amazing. But if he was a different color, it would be better because we've seen white guys be great at this. In fact, if another black guy showed up and started to be great at golf, it wouldn't be as interesting.

[John Holmberg]

It's like Rocky 5.

[Brett]

Yeah, exactly. You start getting. We've seen this movie. What we need is a. Like, a ridiculous tiny Asian to just start mashing. No, like, dominate. You've seen good Asians.

[Brady]

I know.

[Brett]

Don't conflate. This is, like, Tiger woods version Asian. We've never seen it. What Scotty Scheffler's doing what Nicholas did, what Tiger did. You need, like, another color. We can't have whites doing this over and over. It's boring. Nobody's gonna watch Scotty Scheffler dominate golf. Whites have dominated. There's nothing new. You need something weird. Like a dude with one eye or like something weird. Can you believe this guy's doing this with. With six fingers? That kind of thing.

[Brady]

So you don't want to see Maverick McNeely step up?

[Brett]

I like the name, but he's probably white. No, he made the cut. But he's, like, ultra. Like, he's a white dude. Yeah.

[Brady]

And his brother scouts on the back.

[Brett]

Okay. Maverick and Scout already pissed me off. That's the paradise family. Paradise Valley. Our kids went to pv, but we sent him to Brophy. Who? Maverick and Scout. Go yourself. Jason. Jason and Amanda named their kids Maverick and Scout. You make me sick. I hate your family. Here's another picture of us at Scott still in front of the love thing. Okay, gross.

[Brady]

I gotta get a photo of it.

[Brett]

I gotta play these. We're play these. We'll do the entertainment drill next. I don't know. How you guys got me off on this. Maverick and Scout. It's 90. Holmberg's Morning Sickness can't be right. We got an idea here. We'll get you later on that one.

[Brady]

I like it.

[Brett]

Larry just came in and reminded us that next Wednesday, the 27th of August, starts our 25th year on the air at CUPD. So we gotta. We're coming up with some ideas for maybe taking a little trip with you guys again, like we were trying to do for our 21st birthday. Go to Vegas. Yes. But it ended up being our 22nd because stuff got screwed up. Cause of COVID Still not sure how that happened because it was 2022, but we still managed to Covid screw up. It's okay because we're going to celebrate on our 21st birthday. We end up doing 22. That's fine. But 25 starts August 27th. Boom. And hopefully Brady makes it through next Tuesday so we can actually be part of the 25th year. But it's been a fun 24, kid. Nice job. Way to hang in there.

[Brady]

We got a trip in or two.

[Brett]

Yeah, you did. All for 24 years. Checking out now is not such a bad idea. It's time now for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] that's the home of tactical black self defense training. And if you'd like to get involved in that, you can just go to their website, reactdefense.com and be part of it all. We had a blast doing that last week. The hostage stuff, I really enjoyed that. Which I still have a little scar on my knee from the zip tie. Breaking that through because it kind of cracked through. Didn't even feel it. Got into an immediate fisticuffs right after that. You know, it's just such an awesome event that when you're training or you're like, Larry just said he watches the Sopranos when he walks on a treadmill. Treadmills are boring. They're such a drag. Every time I go to react defense, they're doing something new that's exciting and fun and I want to do it again. And I got to wait till the next time because whatever we're doing is usually different. So it mixes it up. It keeps you on your toes the whole time. And also while you're training, meaning you're getting smarter, which very rarely happens on a treadmill. Check it all out. Reactdefense.com that's the home of tactical black self defense, Brady Entertainment.

[Brady]

Quentin Tarantino recently Appeared on the Church of Tarantino podcast. Okay.

[Brett]

Just sounds like Larry Mack. Okay, okay.

[Brady]

And he was asked which films is his favorite.

[Brett]

My favorite movie. The one who was born to make Brady. Okay. The one who's born to make. Okay. Was Killville. This one was born to make my favorite film. Okay. Right. Favorite film. Are you with me? Okay, okay, okay. It is Inglorious Bastards. Guessing I'm going once.

[Brady]

Incorrect.

[Brett]

Okay. There was Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. My favorite. Inglorious. Once upon a time favorite. It's my opus.

[Brady]

Inglorious Bastards is my best.

[Brett]

That's his opus.

[Brady]

But I think Kill Bill is the ultimate movie because nobody else could have ever made it.

[Brett]

The one I was born to make.

[Brady]

Yep, you nailed it.

[Brett]

Flip flop, though. I got the three movies, but I didn't necessarily get them in the right place. Okay. We used to work with the guy in Larry Mack. Okay, okay. You guys know. Okay, okay.

[John Holmberg]

But Pulp Fiction's the one that made him his money.

[Brett]

Pulp Fiction's. Well, Reservoir Dogs put him on the map. Pulp Fiction made him a superstar. You and I both agree Jackie Brown is better. So much better than it. Than it gets credit for. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood has rapidly become one of my favorite movies. So good. And now they're making the thing. I just read this and you talked about it last week, but Quentin talked about how he's letting. Who's the guy directing it? He handed it over to somebody. He goes and he actually said the words, the only way I would allow this is if I gave it to David Fincher.

[Brady]

David Fincher?

[Brett]

Yeah. He said he's allowed to direct the Cliff Booth series because we're the two best directors by far.

[Brady]

He'll do the follow up in the Once Upon a Time.

[Brett]

Yeah, because he said, I wrote it. And what? And actually, Quentin's right because in the article I read, he said, I don't think I get the credit for being as good a writer as I am because I direct my own movies. So now putting it in the hands of another great director and seeing what he will do with my words is interesting to him.

[Brady]

The movie Critic is the title of the.

[Brett]

Well, that. No. Is that the Cliff Booth one? The movie critics on the shelf. Cliff Booth is a different animal. Okay, so Quentin's writing it then. He wrote it.

[John Holmberg]

He's writing the Booth. Okay.

[Brett]

Cliff Booth thing's getting kind of getting worried, right? Fincher's going to direct it. Cuz Quentin's like. He's the only other director that's good enough to do this. But the movie critic is one he's. He's working on.

[John Holmberg]

Is everybody back in? Do we know Star.

[Brett]

Yeah. Brad Pitt is for sure.

[John Holmberg]

Leonardo's back too.

[Brett]

I don't know what they're going to do with him because he doesn't need to be in it. Although he was his stunt double the whole time. So maybe hopefully Bruce Lee's back. Oh, get Bruce Lee back in there.

[Brady]

Celebrity death. We had Terence Stamp.

[Brett]

Huge. Terence Stamp is a monster.

[Brady]

Played General Zod and Superman movie there.

[Brett]

Go down the laundry list of. Of movies that Terence Stamp was in in TV shows.

[Brady]

The Star Wars Episode one.

[Brett]

Amazing. He's been in a couple TV shows. He's amazing.

[Brady]

And the other one was Tristan Rogers.

[Brett]

Why do we know that name? Who?

[Brady]

There you go. Robert Scorpio on General Hospital.

[Brett]

Oh, my gosh. John Gordon.

[Brady]

79.

[Brett]

When did you ever work at KDKB? How did you know the answer to that?

[Brady]

Pipe up on that one.

[Brett]

He fired off the Robert Scorpio. Yeah.

[Brady]

You recognize when he kind of see him. If you ever watch.

[Brett]

I would have never known. Known his name.

[Brady]

Sister used to watch the tar.

[Brett]

My mom loved General Hospital. I didn't. Yeah, I'd watch every once in a while. And I knew. I knew Scorpio didn't have a patch for a while. There was a guy on Days of Our Lives that had a patch, and I think General Hospital was that Luke? No. Luke. Luke might have had a patch, too. Well, no.

[Brady]

Did have a.

[Brett]

No, but it was Bow was Days of Our Lives. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There's no word.

[Brett]

Bo didn't have a patch. General Hospital. No. Yeah. But Days of Our Lives had a patch guy and it wasn't Bo. It was Bo's buddy. I think it was a guy. And then they switched him. His name was John. And then another actor came. Didn't look anything like him. Was the original John Nolan multiple storylines with eye patches? No, but the funny thing was that the John that showed up, that took the place of the guy that took his name, didn't look anything like him. And then they realized that he'd stolen his identity. So the other dude had to go like, pirate. And then he lost his eyesum.

[John Holmberg]

Man, are we flaming out?

[Brett]

And because he had the eye patch in real life, the actor who played the patched guy started to have vision problems because every day he had to wear an eye patch. And it was screwing up his good eye because it was fighting so hard to work all the time. So they had to build an eye patch he could see through. I Watched that because Jack and Jennifer I was. I had such a hard on for Jennifer back in the late 80s. I thought she was beautiful.

[Brady]

Luke and Laura never did much for you.

[Brett]

Luke and Laura. I was seven years old, Brady. That's beaten off to Luke and Laura. Yet Laura was okay. I like the Christopher Cross song about that whole thing. Think of Laura, laugh, don't cry. She'd want it that way. She was only 19. Her name was Genie something. Right in real life. Okay, yeah, that was a big deal. The Luke and Laura.

[Brady]

David Lee Roth claims Eddie Van Halen's ghost visited him and told him that he was messing with Sammy Hager.

[Brett]

Up. Bit up.

[Brady]

And a while back, Sammy said that Eddie's ghost visited him for a songwriting session.

[Brett]

Yep.

[Brady]

There's no word on when the ghost is visiting Gary Sharon, but you guys hear that?

[Brett]

There's that clock. We're gonna lose David soon. Talking to ghost man. All right, David, quiet down. No more singing. Oh. Now Gina has emailed in Roman Brady and John Black. That's right. And that.

[Brady]

Name.

[Brett]

John Black back. And Roman Brady had to swap up. It was very confusing because they didn't look anything alike, but one was evidently the other. And the wife didn't know. Like, she didn't. And like, I was 12 or 13. I'm like, that's a different dude. No, no. And Deidre hall was the wife.

[Brady]

He had a power mullet.

[Brett]

John Black did. Yeah. Yeah. Roman Brady had dark hair, looked a lot like the dude who just died on General Hospital. Those days of our lives, all I cared about was Jack and Jennifer. I don't remember who played Jennifer, but I had a massive crush on Jennifer. Like one of those dream at night, think you're gonna meet her? Kind of. Maybe shoot her on her doorstep. Crushes one of those it's getting too far kind of things. A bit stalkery. Strange. I've had a couple of those. Jennifer was one where I'm like, if I let this keep going, I'm going to jail. The other one was Jesse Spanoff from Saved by the Bell. I had a dream about her, that we were meant to be together. And I almost got in the car and tried to find her.

[John Holmberg]

Is that until you watched Showgirls and then I.

[Brett]

No, Showgirls didn't help. Although her ass was so disappointing in Showgirl. I wanted her to be so much hotter than she was.

[John Holmberg]

Gina Gershon was better in that by a long shot.

[Brett]

A couple of those dancers should have gotten the job. Anyway, that's it. We're done. That's it. This is your 1988 update. Flaming out, bro. Flaming out of our lives. 25 years on the air starting next week. Can you believe is 10? 10? Larry's coming up next. He's been on for 30. He must know everything about soap operas. We're done. We'll catch you guys tomorrow on the Morning Sickness. Hello.

[Brady]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[Brett]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.