08-19-25 - BR - TUE - Brady Calling His Sister For Grandma's Lobotomy Confirmation - Humans Have Largest Junk Of Any Primates - French Woman Suing Her Company For Paying Her To Do Nothing - Costco Now Has 60lb Buckets Of Honey

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: 08-19-25 - BR - TUE — Brady Calling His Sister For Grandma's Lobotomy Confirmation, Humans Have Largest Junk Of Any Primates, French Woman Sues for “Doing Nothing” at Work, and Costco's 60lb Bucket of Honey
Date: August 19, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

Episode Overview

This episode of Arizona’s #1 morning radio show, Holmberg's Morning Sickness, is an energetic and irreverent blend of outrageous family lore (Brady’s possibly lobotomized grandma), odd global news (giant buckets of honey, French worker’s lawsuit), science trivia (human anatomy), and the crew’s signature offbeat banter. As always, tales from the hosts’ lives mix with weird news, listener questions, and plenty of sharp-edged jokes—all delivered at breakneck pace.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Lobotomy Legacy: Brady’s Family Mystery

[00:00–06:00, 31:19–34:13]

• John introduces the “greatest unresolved movie”—Brady’s revelation that his grandmother may have had a lobotomy, but no one in his family is really sure.
• Brady’s sister, Amy, is cast as the “protector of the image”; John insists, “She’s not gonna talk!” (01:47), framing the family’s hush-hush attitude about mental health and taboos.
• John recounts archaic lobotomy procedures in graphic detail: “There’s an ice pick in the nose and they just twist, ramble it around…” (03:28)
• Brady’s family’s evasiveness is lampooned: “If you don’t even know… You protect the image. You never let it out in the neighborhood.” (01:55–01:57)
• Brady attempts to contact his sister and brother for confirmation, sharing the response on air: “Ruth… was institutionalized for a while at Harding Hospital… Still have a ceramic alligator she made…” (31:27)
• John’s deduction: “Your grandpa killed your grandma. He choked her... You don’t choke to death at the hospital.” (32:07)
• The mystery closes with the hosts in disbelief at the family’s vagueness and John amused by “the lobotomized Brady report.” (34:13)

“To not be sure grandma had a lobotomy is mind blowing to me. I have to ask. It’s like a thing. Fascinating. Flat. Amazing.” — John Holmberg (04:12)

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2. Bizarre Fun Facts and Debates

[08:25–13:02]

• Celebrating National Potato Day, the panel critiques “boring” survey questions (“What’s your favorite potato dish?”) and riffs about mashed versus cheesy potatoes. (08:25–09:02)
• Music trivia: “Alice Cooper once babysat Keanu Reeves when he was six years old”—to which they joke about it being “at the mental health center, probably getting lobotomies.” (09:17–09:46)
• Offbeat statistics: If all 8 billion people played in a rock–paper–scissors tournament, 33 straight wins would make you world champion. (09:52)

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3. Science and Size: "Human Males Have the Largest Junk of Any Primates"

[10:10–12:22]

• John and crew take childish delight in this trivia, discussing animal anatomy with their classic mix of curiosity and crudeness.
• Multiple athlete references (Sam Cassell, Shaquille O’Neal, Yao Ming): “Does Shaquille O’Neal have the same size penis as me? Because if he does, it’s small on him...” (11:03)
• Running joke comparing animal and NBA player proportions.
• “I’m gonna go with that. I like that.” — John on humans’ anatomical achievement. (12:17)

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4. Odd News Stories: Glitter Attacks, French Lawsuits, and 60lb Buckets of Honey

A. Car Vandalized with Glitter

[13:13–15:53]

• Kentucky woman wrecks her ex’s car (“filled the vents with glitter, poured salt in the engine…”), sparking speculation about future “glitter attacks in the Melrose district.” (14:02)
• “They’re going to be tons of strippers, weird women and gays who are glittering their vents. I actually kind of want to see that... if I was a homosexual, probably every month… I’d pour more glitter into the vents.” — John (14:59)

B. French Lady Sues for "Psychological Torture" at Work

[16:04–17:45]

• Woman sues telecom giant Orange for being paid to do nothing for 20 years; claims it’s “psychological torture.” (16:06)
• “What a self-starter she is.” — John, mockingly (17:04)
• “Twenty years, she didn’t do anything. She didn’t self start one day and start a project on her own.” — John (17:29)

C. Costco’s 60lb Bucket of Honey

[23:41–25:40]

• Costco is now selling a 60-pound bucket of honey for $114.
• John marvels at the impracticality: “If you’ve ever had a 60-pound bucket of honey and you’ve got a piece of bread in your hand and you’re scooping the bottom out because that’s all you can—kill yourself. You’ve eaten 60 pounds of honey.” (24:11)
• Reflection: “In my lifetime… I will not have consumed 60 pounds of honey in that timeline.” (24:36)

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5. Viral Oddities & The Brady Report

[07:14–34:13]

• Brady Report: Brady brings news-of-the-weird: from French employment lawsuits to modern etiquette surveys (toilet seat liners—useless), and eye-popping listener videos.
• The hosts lambaste habits around public restrooms, “pooping at a Diamondbacks game,” and endless toilet trivia, always circling back to a core theme: “Humans are gross, and we’re all a little weird.”

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6. Shock Videos and Absurdity

[25:40–31:19]

• From tongue disorders to “human urinals” and creative sex toy bowling, the crew reacts to online shock videos—mixing true horror and comedic revulsion.
• Standout: The “human urinal” video (28:02–29:04), where a woman’s head is built into a urinal and the hosts narrate the bizarre display with disbelief.
• “Her hair is soaked, but she’s not really even blinking… He’s squeezing it out because he doesn’t want dribbles.” — John (29:04)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “[Grandpa] got rid of the problem and the expense. Grandpa killed Grandma Ruth. There’s the hospital here Grandma was in. Man, it looks scary.” — John (32:16)
• “Twenty years, she didn’t do anything… she didn’t self start one day and start a project on her own.” — John (17:29)
• “If you’ve ever had a 60-pound bucket of honey… and you’re scooping the bottom out because that’s all you can… kill yourself.” — John (24:11)
• “Go sit, put your ass on the ground and see if your penis touches the ground. And then think of Sam Cassell…” — John (12:54)
• “Ladies, if ever presented with a urinal with a face hole in the back of it, run.” — John (29:15)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:08–06:00: The “lobotomy mystery”—family secrecy and evasiveness about Brady’s grandmother
• 08:25–09:46: Potato Day, mashed potato debate, and odd celebrity babysitting trivia
• 10:10–12:22: “Largest junk of any primate” science discussion, NBA appendage talk
• 13:13–15:53: Glitter vandalism story and wild speculation about “glittering vents” trend
• 16:04–17:45: French woman sues for “getting paid to do nothing”
• 23:41–25:40: 60-pound Costco honey bucket—why and who?
• 28:02–29:15: Human urinal video reaction
• 31:19–34:13: Family finally responds about the lobotomy, John concludes “Grandpa killed Grandma”

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Tone & Language

The episode is high-energy, irreverent, and at times shockingly blunt. Jokes are rapid-fire and often dark, but always with a strong undercurrent of camaraderie and local Arizona flavor. The hosts thrive on crossing lines, confronting taboos, and weaving their own lives into the madness of daily headlines.

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Perfect for listeners who enjoy:

• Unfiltered humor about news, science, and personal stories
• Edgy banter and recurring in-jokes
• Offbeat yet relatable takes on the weirdness of modern life

Skip if you’re easily offended or dislike “too much information” moments about body parts, family secrets, or public bathroom etiquette.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[B]

It's John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the Core. He's not going to be back on the court immediately, but in a few months time he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain. You've been living with the Core Institute celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do again. Go to the Core institute dot com. Morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. I don't think so. I think she's gonna hide it. Boy, this lobotomy thing has me going. I love it. Just tuning in. Brady just announced that his grandma possibly had a lobotomy and he's not sure. That's awesome. This is a great. I would sit through this movie just shoving popcorn in my mouth. Joseph says, after hearing that hot tub story with Brady's naked aunt and all the other Brady stories that we've gotten, I'm pretty sure his kidney just wants out. Yeah, there's body parts. Like that's enough. I can't take it. Yeah, Amy. His sister just called right as we were going on the air, so he has to call her back. We'll find out more about. I don't think Amy's. I think Amy's a protector of the. Protector of the image. I don't think she's.

[C]

My grandfather always said, a bottle in front of me is better than a frontal bottom.

[B]

Okay, so it. Was that a big thing he said a lot. Yeah, he lobotomized. No, wait a minute. You're. That's true.

[C]

No, it's not true.

[B]

Amy's going to protect the image. Amy's going to keep. Amy's not going to talk.

[C]

There's nothing.

[B]

That's a big protect. If it has been.

[C]

I don't know what.

[B]

Because if you don't even know.

[C]

Protecting the image.

[B]

Oh, you protect the image. You don't. You never let it out in the neighborhood. Look, you didn't call the cops on the naked neighbor. There was a big insulation bubble over where you guys grew up. That's a fact. We don't let people think that we are haywire. Jack with the gay landscaper was a quiet story. That this is how we're going to tell it from the rest. And it's going to be confusing. And we don't ever say Jack was gay. Yeah. It was the landscape. It wasn't jacked. Landscaper forced him to do it. Couldn't possibly be that. I have families do that. That's not a bad thing. But when it comes to lobotomizing and killing real grandma and then Grandma Billy shows up out of nowhere. That's a. That's a family protection thing.

[C]

It's called moving on.

[B]

That's what you call it. Or denial.

[A]

I'm going with the latter of the two there.

[B]

The other one's better. Awesome stuff, man. You have been a great guest for the last 24 years. I really appreciate it.

[C]

It's only gonna get better.

[B]

Says John Brett's got it figured out. You ain't got no story to tell. You ain't got no worries. It's true stories. Words, words, words. Look what it's doing. That's what got Grandpa Ruth to have that ice pick shoved up her nostrils. Ever seen how they used to do that frontal lobotomies back in Grandma Ruth's day?

[C]

No.

[B]

There's an ice pick in the nose and they just twist, ramble it around. And then they put two probes on your head.

[C]

Isn't there like. I thought there was a scar.

[B]

Yeah, because they cut it out after they scramble it back.

[C]

What's that?

[A]

They got to peel the cap back.

[B]

I bet she went through electro therapy too.

[C]

That's what it was. More so than.

[B]

That's what they do before lobotomies.

[C]

Yeah. So I don't know. The lobotomy happened.

[B]

There's a. That's more.

[C]

And I'm gonna find out.

[B]

Like the fact you're not sure you're growing.

[C]

I remember my dad was talking about electrotherapy and I was thinking, oh, but.

[B]

She liked, you know. Toasters. No.

[C]

No. But that was the treatment.

[B]

And my dad was saying it's very controversial. Even that. Yeah. Yeah, man. But to not be sure grandma had a lobotomy is mind blowing to me. I have to. I have to ask. It's like a thing. Like what? Fascinating. Flat. Amazing. Give me the phone. While you're doing the Brady Report, I'm going to go talk to Amy For a little while, you're going to get the real story. See, I don't think so. I don't think Amy will give up the story. Bunny might. Amy won't. Yeah.

[D]

Bunny's. Bunny wants to leave a legacy.

[B]

Yeah, Bunny. Bunny is okay with it. Like, Bunny will spill the beans.

[C]

She had to spend more time, obviously, with Ruth.

[B]

And Amy's just going to go with what she was told and the family story. Tom would look at me out of the side of his eye before he told the lie about what's been the story. Cuz I'm the type of person that screws that stuff up. So Grandma Ruth, like, okay, go on, Tom. Tell the truth. No, no, she was. She passed away and then grandma Billy showed up. Nobody has. Nobody knows why I went, damn it, I love it.

[A]

Apparently, before they cut it out, they. They drain what they can through the nose. This coming from Sanjay. He's an Indian. He's basically a doctor.

[B]

That's right. Yeah. They were born with the knowledge. Yeah. They drain it out your nose first and then they go in and they plunk out the big chunks. That's crazy.

[D]

It's like one of those bulb things for babies. They go in there and they go, yeah, yeah.

[B]

They suck out all the juices and then they scramble it. They abort the front of your brain and then crack you open and take the chunks out. They try to get as much out of your nose as possible. Awesome. And you're not sure whether or not grandma had that, but maybe. Anyway, moving on.

[D]

Doesn't see here.

[B]

It's awesome. You're not even like. You don't even seem a little bit fascinated by your own situation. Oh, that's. There it is. That's why. Okay, I see. I see. There he goes. He's wandering around the new Indian rest. You seen the new Ethiopian joint up here on McDowell? Have you guys seen that place? They found a building on McDowell in like 50th Street, I guess that might be considered one of the worst buildings in Ethiopia. They opened an Ethiopian restaurant in it. It's right up here. That's right there. Right there. Huh?

[A]

That's not the Arcadia.

[B]

No, the Arcadia one is nice. That's up by the global ambassador. This thing is castaways. Yeah, it's across the street and over a little bit. And I drove by and I'm like, what's that sign? Crazy. Colors. Colors. I didn't say what you think I said.

[A]

I. I even kept quiet in that one.

[B]

Wow. Yeah.

[C]

We were like, wait a minute. Is he Going to catch it.

[B]

Colors. Because they've got a wacky flag up there. I'm like, what are those crazy colors? Careful. And then it said Ethiopian restaurant. And I'm like, what?

[A]

Oh, is that the one on the south side right up there? Yeah, that used to be the club when I would come to. When I'd come to work on the overnights back. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Okay. So now it's in Ethiopia. And that building is. It's. It's a hazard.

[A]

It should be condemned.

[B]

Yeah. Well, now it's serving Ethiopian food, which means it's empty. There's no danger of a patron getting hurt because nobody's in there. Anyway. It's time for the Brady Report. Give you all the news that only Brady knows, brought to you by our [e-mail]. put some shade on a space in your house and make that space better, more livable. 20 degree drops in a lot of cases out there when they put those shades up. Gets those UV rays out of the way, too. Those are the bad ones. And also it's electric and it's got a sensor on it, so if it starts raining or getting windy, it brings itself home. It's beautiful. It's a glorious thing. And it makes your house better. More valuable and just better to look at.

[C]

Give you another reason? Well, yeah, that my. If I put mine out, which has been out pretty much all summer, unless the wind kicked up. Not only that, the degrees on the patio. Cooler.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It helps on the ac.

[B]

Yeah. Because it's covering up that part of the house. Save money in the end. Beautiful thing. All prochet.com. that's where you go. Brady reported.

[C]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix.

[B]

Hello, world. Hi. He's. Give Brady a break. He's got a big week coming up and today has been a real eye opener. Not like, not the way Grandma Roo's eyes were open when that ice pick went up. Or snoz.

[C]

But happy National Potato Day.

[B]

Like Grandma Roo. That was her nickname in the house.

[D]

Dovetail is just awesome this morning.

[B]

Damn it.

[C]

A new poll just asked people what the most popular homemade potato dish is, and it wasn't even close. Mashed potato.

[B]

You are. You might as well have had a lobotomy if you're getting that question. What's your favorite potato dish? I'm gonna go kill myself. How am I in this conversation? That's the most boring conversation of all.

[A]

Brady.

[B]

What's yours?

[C]

Cheesy potatoes. Cheesy.

[B]

Those are gone. Yeah. Those are out of your life.

[C]

No more but in order, the top four.

[B]

Moving on.

[C]

Mashed potatoes, potato salad, baked potatoes.

[B]

Okay, stop saying breakfast. Okay. Potatoes, potatoes.

[C]

A couple of basis fun facts. Alice Cooper once babysat Keanu Reeves when he was six years old.

[B]

Good parenting on the Reeves family. Wow. Was that Christopher Reeves son? I don't even know who Keanu's parents were. How did they know Alice Cooper? And was it here?

[C]

It was at the mental health center. Probably getting lobotomies.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. It's on your mind. I understand. You know, it wasn't on grandma roots mind. Anything?

[A]

Nothing.

[B]

Blank slate. He was a whiteboard.

[C]

Music?

[B]

Not sure. She was just a whiteboard with a scribble on it. A question mark.

[C]

If all 8 billion people on the planet played a single elimination rock, paper, scissors tournament, you'd only need to win 33 consecutive games to become the champion.

[B]

Yeah. Because the world would eliminate itself. Yeah.

[C]

Human males have the largest junk of any primates.

[B]

You're welcome. Ladies back.

[C]

The average chimpanzee is only half the size of the average human.

[B]

And chimpanzees have little ones. Baboons have real skinny ones. I've seen one beaten off at the zoo before.

[C]

It actually display them every now and then?

[B]

No, they'll throw them out and stretch them and stuff. They're not. There's nothing to write home about there. And you'd think a gorilla would walk by in a zoo cage and you'd see a dangler. You never do. They've got. You know, they're so much like us. Now. Is that in proportion or are we actually bigger?

[C]

Yeah, we're.

[B]

Well says we're bigger in proportion or bigger like 6 inches versus 7 inches. Or are we 6 inches because of our size? They should be if it was proportionate. 12 inches.

[C]

Not sure.

[B]

But they might be 6 inches also. You know what I mean?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, does Shaquille o' Neal have the same size penis as me? Because if he does, it's small on him because he's a giant man. You know, if Yao Ming had a.

[C]

Like if you get to a full, you know, like lowland silver silverback has.

[B]

Like if it's got a 600 pounds. But if it's got a six inch penis, it's actually really little for him. So technically I would have a bigger penis based on the ratios.

[E]

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[B]

Hol's morning sickness. So I don't know if it's. If we have bigger ones than them or just based on ratios and body size what they should be compared to us, what we are with our. Like the bat.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

The bat has three times its body.

[C]

The largest junk of any primates. So that would be ours get bigger than theirs.

[B]

There's only hopefully true. I'm going to go with that. I like that.

[A]

Well, I mean, you know you were talking about back in the day seeing Sam Cassell swinging the helicopter and he's the same height as you, just about.

[B]

He's not that solid technically. Yeah, yeah. And he has the penis of what should be on a seven and a half foot man. Jacques Vaughn had the nickname Anteater because he would sit at his stool at his locker room and it would touch the ground. Now NBA stools are low. I remember that being in those locker rooms. They didn't. They sat with their knees up to their shoulders. But still.

[A]

Yeah, but are you still dangling if you're sitting there?

[B]

I sit on the ground. It doesn't touch the ground. I'm not kidding. Go sit, put your ass on the ground and see if your penis touches the ground. And then think of Sam Cassell who's on a two foot stool. I'm not kidding. People were scared of him. It would hang down there and like he'd bend over to tie his shoes and the thing would tap this carpet.

[C]

We got this 31 year old woman and Lexington had. Kentucky is facing charges after she damaged her ex boyfriend's car so bad she totaled it.

[B]

Oops.

[C]

Her name's Stephanie Carl Whist and they got in some sort of fight early last month. She slashed one of the tires. But then the real damage came later that month after a second fight on July 15, he says she smashed the windshield, cracked the rearview mirror, destroyed his radio, filled the vents with glitter, poured salt in the engine.

[B]

That's a good idea.

[C]

Car had to be towed. Insurance totaled it out after the mechanic said it would cost 12,000 over $12,000 to fix.

[B]

By the by, every gay listener just heard one part of that which was filled the vents with glitter. And that's going to start happening a lot. There's going to be a glitter attack on car vents in the Melrose district that you can't even imagine.

[C]

For some reason Stephanie was there when the tow truck driver showed up and told him she was the one who.

[B]

Did it, then glittered the tow truck.

[C]

She Also fessed up and texts to her boyfriend later on claim she did it because she's stressed out and pregnant. It's not clear if she. If he's the father or not.

[B]

Oh, she.

[C]

She admitted to the police she broke the windshield, put glitter in the vents, and then tried to claim that some of the other damages were because the X was over. It was overdue for an oil change.

[B]

Sure. That's how you fix that. And I also guarantee you that you've said it twice now, and I brought it up in the middle, that Amazon is seeing an unusual amount of searching for glitter right now to be delivered by 2.

[C]

Check her mug shot out.

[B]

She had. Yeah, there are going to be tons of strippers, weird women and gays who are glittering their vents. Because I actually kind of want to see that, to be honest with you. I think that would be neat to watch. I don't want to do it in my car because the cleanup stinks. But if I was a homosexual, probably every month, every time I got gas, I'd pour more glitter into the vents. That would be amazing. You imagine getting in my car and I'm like, brady, you want some air?

[C]

Yeah, it's hot.

[B]

It's raining, man.

[D]

Whoa.

[B]

Oh, there she is. Gorgeous. Oh, he put a baby in her. She's five. Three cans. Huge cans. No primate has those either.

[C]

Happy to assault the car.

[B]

Face is a little cavemany. It's good. It's good mug shot. She's got a little caveman face.

[C]

Kentucky. That's a Kentucky, good.

[B]

Kentucky caveman face. Yeah, she's. She's got some trailer park in there, but those cans are insane. And when she has her brother's baby, it's going to be okay.

[C]

Again, this lady in France is suing her company that she's been working for for over 20 years. Her name is Lawrence Van Wassenhove. She's suing the company Orange, which is the largest telecom company in Europe. One of the largest. Anyway, she's been on the payroll for 20 years and does absolutely nothing. She's claiming that since they don't give her any assignments.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no.

[B]

He's abroad at work.

[A]

Well, I think I didn't want to take the low hanging fruit there.

[B]

I go down to the sales department all the time. I see this kind of, you know, activity every day.

[C]

She's claiming that since they don't give her any assignments and she doesn't have to do anything, it's psychological torture to.

[B]

Sit and do nothing.

[C]

Yeah, no, she's suing them for.

[B]

Yeah, for not giving her enough to do.

[C]

That'd be a reason why.

[B]

What a self starter she is. Good Christian relations. She's not getting out there. Well, if I was her, I would comb the back of my hair over my face and just start over with the back of my head. I draw a face on that. 20 years. She didn't do anything. She didn't self start one day and start a project on her own.

[C]

She did. Typical.

[B]

Oh my own Jesus. I am Rhys Brett. The sales staff is lazy and feminine. That starts with you more than a hand in hand.

[A]

I'm jealous of Brady's grandma getting a lobotomy after seeing that picture.

[B]

How come all these women in my sales staff aren't doing anything? I look at you, Ed. I wonder why. Susan. Susan. Hitler is one of my favorite things in the world.

[C]

In a new poll about age 38% of people admit to lying about their age when meeting someone new. And 62% of the people say it's a deal breaker if someone lies about their age.

[B]

If they're going to do that right off the bat, they're not abroad. Yeah, yeah, that's. Guys that lie about their age though are insane. Women. Women do it.

[C]

It's almost like twice as likely as women to do it.

[B]

Men are twice as likely to lie about their age than a woman. Well, because they're talking to 24 year olds. Yeah, they're trying to get back out there. Yeah, that's true. Women lie about their age because they're self conscious. Men do it to try to not scare away. Yeah. The child they're talking to. Oh yeah. No, I'm 38. I just look terrible. Oh wow. Got a lot of money though. Want to get in my Maybach? Yes, I gotta rent a Maybach.

[C]

Someone conducted a poll about using the toilet seat liner before you poop or squat in a public restroom.

[B]

Don't do that.

[C]

A poll found a few years back. 9% of us just avoid public toilets. Completely smart. 21% hover. 63% just go for it. Half the people in the go for it group do use those thin paper liners. According to a new BBC article. Those liners might not do anything. Are pointless.

[B]

They are pointless. They're a mental comfort for you. Who? You're another one wrecking the bathroom. You know why? You know who puts those down? People who wreck bathrooms. And they just assume everybody's like them. So they're like, there's probably poop and pee all over this toilet seat because that's what I do.

[D]

How about the sales guy on the commission for that for four, 40 years getting every building to buy at least a case of those.

[B]

And the company that keeps pushing out those stupid things just laughing themselves to.

[D]

Sleep sold another one.

[C]

Experts say hovering isn't great either.

[B]

No, because it's brave all over.

[C]

Fully empty your bladder. Gross. For women, it can potentially cause uti.

[B]

You're a mess. If that's. If hovering once makes you have urinary tract issues. Come on. The splash. The plop splash. How about you just go home and take a dump like a human being? Sometimes you can't help it. Oh, so you're gay. Why do you say that? Because you broke your ass. Like it's wide open. I have a thing I call a sphincter and I can close it up. Sometimes you can't do that. Then you're sick and you need to go home.

[C]

Most STDs can't survive on the toilet seat. Most HPV and herpes technically can.

[B]

You can catch it off a toilet seat. That's a true.

[C]

It doesn't happen under real world conditions.

[B]

I'll tell you.

[A]

Excited about that?

[B]

I'll tell you right now. The dude who wrote this has hpv and he's just trying to. He's trying to facilitate.

[C]

You're way more.

[B]

Yeah, that's what he told his wife. So even in. See, honey, I even put it in the news article. If it wasn't true, I wouldn't be allowed to do this.

[C]

You're way more likely to inhale germs in a bathroom or get sick from touching stuff with your hands.

[B]

Yeah. Like other dudes.

[C]

They say. Here are some good tips. Touch as few surfaces as possible when you're in there.

[B]

Sure. Who's wandering around?

[C]

Flush and run. Who's.

[B]

Who's running around?

[C]

The guy says from the, like the uk. He's like. His strategy in bathrooms. Flush and run.

[B]

Go home. We should eliminate all toilets from men's rooms. It should be all urinals. And if you have to take a dump, you gotta race yourself back to whatever thing you live in or wherever hotel room you're staying at, whatever. And if you're sick and you poop your pants, you're sick and you poop your pants. But this whole pooping in public thing has got to stop. There's a dude last night at the Diamondbacks. You're at a Diamondbacks game.

[D]

Every game I go to, there's more than one.

[B]

Peeing in the urinal and the dive. Like really? Like you're taking a break from the ball game to go drop five pounds of turds. You couldn't have done this before you left?

[C]

Just threw down a Dogzilla.

[B]

Okay, then you're sick. Because if you. I don't know if you process probably. But if you're processing food that fast, you aren't interested in a baseball game. First off, you went for the Dogzilla. Second, you're willing to miss an inning or two pooping out the Dogzilla because you missed the first two innings getting a Dogzilla.

[D]

They bring.

[B]

That's half the game.

[D]

They bring that thing by. When we were at one of the games with the company. That Dogzilla thing.

[B]

I don't know.

[D]

Gigantic monster problem.

[B]

I just have a problem with people so cozy with wrecking bathroom. They're packed with poopers. No. And there's usually one or two poopers.

[C]

The other ones, it's just airport.

[B]

The airport's disgusting. That moves people. Like it's supposed to constipate you. But some people go the other way. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[D]

Did Scott the bot use the one in the sweet that we had?

[B]

I think so. Scott poops 14 to 15 times a day.

[A]

He needs to get that checked out.

[B]

Yeah. He's in the bathroom. Go with Megan. Huh? Yeah. Get. He should get rooted out. Maybe a twofer special. Yeah. Every time I go in there and I see his wing tips and he lifts him up.

[C]

Floor shimes.

[B]

He lifts them up, tries to get him. So there's looks like. But then his pants are hanging around his ankles and. See that? I saw you in there, Scott. The bottom. Damn it. What do you got, Mr. Ed in there with you? What is that.

[C]

Good news? Costco is selling a 60 pound bucket of honey.

[B]

That is good news.

[C]

You can get it for 114 bucks.

[B]

Because you know what? I'm running through 70, 80 pounds a week right now. So it's good that they finally. Because I got. You know, that's 20 jars, man. So 60 pounds in one hit's really convenient. I get all the bread and finally I need. Finally my tea will have a accompaniment.

[A]

Say Dunn Edwards on the side of that bucket. My God.

[B]

It should say diabetes on the side of the person that buys it.

[D]

If you need one of those jacks.

[B]

Yeah. To get out your. If you've ever had a 60 pound bucket of honey and you've got a piece of bread in your hand and you're scooping the bottom out because that's all you can. That's all that's Left, kill yourself. You've eaten 60 pounds of honey.

[A]

You're gonna die soon anyway, so don't worry about it.

[C]

That'll last forever though, right?

[B]

If you don't eat it, why buy it? Honey doesn't spoil.

[C]

Yeah. So I got one real quick Brady video.

[B]

I'm venturing a guess here. That in my lifetime, even what's remaining if I live to be a hundred. Oh, you haven't. I will not have consumed 60 pounds of honey in that timeline.

[D]

When's the last time you used some honey?

[B]

I put it in tea. Okay, so. But you put every year teaspoon. Maybe every year I might dabble with a tenth of a pound of honey. Right? So every ten years it's a pound. So currently I'm at 5.3 pounds of honey. I don't think I'm gonna. I think I'm gonna need £60 at any given time. Unless I'm opening a. A beehive or something.

[D]

46,000 teaspoons and 60 gallons of honey, John.

[C]

46,000.

[B]

I haven't had that much tea in my life. English people don't have that much tea.

[C]

Your survival bucket of honey. Yeah.

[B]

Dumb. I don't want to live in a world where all I have is spoonfuls of honey. It sounds lovely, Herb. Albert. Like that.

[C]

Only one video. Not sure what's going on with this guy's tongue.

[B]

Okay, It's a tongue sticking out of a mouth, and that tongue is busted up. Oh, God. And he's wiggling around. There are cracks and holes in his.

[C]

Tongue like he's scraped from the teeth.

[B]

I don't know. That's an illness. Because when he relaxes it, it looks like a regular tongue fills back in. Do not kiss him. He's having an episode. He's also got no chin, so no chicks are interested in him either. Wow.

[C]

That's all I got. Core memory of. Of that tongue.

[B]

Oh, yes, he'll remember that. But you know, Grandma Billy getting Dyson brain.

[C]

No, no, Ruth.

[B]

Grandma Ruth, you're right. Grandma Billy just showed up later and nobody remembers when. Brett, what do you got? All right.

[A]

They wanted me to show this one for Brady.

[C]

I did get a response from my brother.

[B]

Hold on. We'll get that in a second. It's a mentally chall. What song is it? I don't even know.

[C]

He's nailing it.

[D]

Linkin park or something.

[B]

Is that Grandma Ruth after? That's what Brady remembers. Hey, Grandma Ruth, what's for breakfast? She's a pleasant lady.

[A]

Here's one of Toledo's vacation videos.

[B]

Okay, we're in Thailand, and some surveillance overhead video people walking around, a lot of motorcycles. That means it's a bad country because it's not Sturgis. Oh, here's a guy, just had it with traffic, took his car. It's just pushing other things out of the way, including, oh, he's parked on the guy. Oh, he's parked on a guy's head.

[C]

It's a fresh mount.

[B]

Oh, my God. Oh, get it off. He drove away. The passenger got out and just left. Done. And then he drove away. Traffic in that area is people, cars and motorcycles, and there's no lines in the road. Wow. Enjoy your next trip, Toledo, because that is. There's a. There's a apartment for rent, that's for sure.

[A]

This one's entitled Found Toledo's Halloween Costume this Year.

[B]

Okay, no talking about Halloween. Okay, we have a woman with a giant pole between her naked thigh. She's nude, and it looks like the pole is attached to her head and it's a toilet seat. Is this gonna end with somebody using this? She's laying down. What now? It. Oh, is that it? Oh, no. She's a human urinal. She's a human urinal, and now her mouth is open, and a guy is walking up to the human urinal. Naked lady up against a wall in a public restroom. They pixelated his wiener, and off he goes. He's peeing right into the urinal that does have a drain. It is attached to the ground, and her face is sticking through it like one of those joke things, like when you pretend to be Steve Nash at a Suns game. Put your head on his body. Or like an old Western at the Rawhide. This dude's got a good stream. He's healthy. There's nothing wrong with his prostate at all. Oh, he's finishing up. She didn't budge or close her eyes once, by the way, while he peed on her face. Her hair is soaked, but she's not really even blanket the dramatic music. He's squeezing it out because he doesn't want dribbles.

[D]

Is this R. Kelly?

[B]

It's an R. Kelly tune at the end.

[A]

All right, this is, by the way.

[B]

Ladies, if ever presented with a urinal with a face hole in the back of it, run.

[A]

Well, we all talk about the happenings at the WNBA games. Well, it's happening in bowling now, too.

[B]

The dildos. Okay, there's a. I'm gonna make this work. Oh, God. A naked lady using a giant dildo in a room, and she's got bowling pins set up by the bed. Wow. She just got five on her first roll. Oh, my God. She's going for the spare. She threw it out of her vagina. It was. It's. It's in her. And then those do not affect anything.

[D]

Of your sex life, because how to.

[B]

Be able to do this. That's right. Now she's going for the spare here. She leans forward, throws it. She picked up the spare, which is awesome. Good for you. Very impressive, lady. Very impressive. And father would be so proud.

[A]

We'll just end with this one.

[B]

All right. Oh, boy. All right. There's a thing, something coming out of a lady's naked butt. It's dark. Oh, my God. Her ass is huge. This is. Is this a bowling ball or an eggplant? That was my guess, too, Freddie. It was an eggplant. It looks like Cubert's nose. If you remember that, if you grew up in the 80s. What's in there? It's a. It's some sort of cone or cup. Magic. Look at that. It's her asses O. Oh, she's pretty. She's actually pretty. And she's a little bit manufactured. Oh, my God.

[C]

I'm not going.

[B]

Pretty and not pretty. No. At first glance, she's blonde, you know, lit makeup, nice boobs, but kept herself in shape. Except that back door, which shot out, I don't know, a can of paint. I don't know what the hell size that thing was, but it was big. All right, we got a special guest coming in a little bit. Riley, I'm so glad that we transitioned from this to that. He can tell us about 911 stair climb. Well, he's probably been on a few calls as a firefighter, needed a lobotomy or had one or not a lobotomy that's had something that size stuck in the bone.

[C]

So I asked my brother this morning, oh, yeah, did Ruth get a lobotomy? He responded, not sure.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Bonnie might know. She was institutionalized for a while at Harding Hospital in Worthington. Not sure if it's around still. I still have a ceramic alligator she made in art class.

[B]

What's wrong with you people? The question was simple and it ends with, she gave me a ceramic alligator, which is funny because she was an adult who made ceramic alligators for people.

[C]

Because she was in a labor ward and choked and died. Yeah, nobody around. Nose lobotomy.

[B]

Did you hear that? Choked and died. Brady. Nobody saw it. Your grandpa killed your grandma. He choked her.

[C]

Nobody around.

[B]

Nobody saw it. Your grandpa killed your grandma.

[C]

At the Harding Hospital.

[B]

Your grandfather killed your grandmother. No one at the hospital was around. For a woman choking to death. You're in a hospital. Exactly.

[C]

But no lobotomy.

[B]

Okay, fine. Your grandpa killed your grandma.

[C]

No.

[B]

Yeah. Or had her killed. You don't choke to death at the hospital.

[C]

That maybe. But he wouldn't.

[B]

He might. Oh, I don't know. If he went hands on.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But he got rid of the problem and the expense. Grandpa killed Grandma Ruth. There's the hospital here. Grandma was in. Man, it looks scary. Yeah, it does. So hospital. Your grandma's hanging in a hospital. Keep. Just. Nobody's keeping an eye on the lady in there. The nut bag. What was she eating? Somebody had to have fed her. And she choked to death.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Your grandpa killed your grandma.

[D]

Hey, there's.

[B]

There's a class photo.

[C]

Thank you for finding the words.

[B]

If you can find the Harding Hospital.

[C]

Big staff.

[B]

What year is that? Is that the staff? If there was that many people in there, no one ever choked alone.

[D]

They were loaded.

[B]

400 people in a 5,000 square foot house. Your grandma was murdered. Wow. There's a staff. Anyway, there's too many people. This is nuts.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh, that's the Oregon. No lobotomy, though. But a lot of electrotherapy.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. The fact that you're so gray on this tells me that there's definitely more.

[D]

Northern Ohio Lunatic Asylum.

[B]

Awesome. That's a great band name to check out the Athens. Anyway, we'll talk to. We'll talk to Riley from the stairclimb in just moments. 911 stairclip. Yeah. Some awesome charity. I did it last year. We're going to talk about it. My experience with having done it last year, the questions I got about it last year. I'm telling you right now, we'll get rid of it all. And this place is going to be packed up. Can't wait. So we'll talk to Riley next. There goes your lobotomized Brady report.

[D]

It's not weird.

[B]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[C]

No membership fee.

[B]

I have heard enough of this.