08-19-25 - Emailer Says She's 30 And Her 56yo Husband's Ex Wife Is Always Correcting Her On Parenting - Latest Brady Family Revelation Is That His Grandmother Had A Lobotomy And Was Institutionalized For A Time

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 08-19-25

Main Theme/Overview
This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness blends irreverent humor, listener stories, and personal revelations in a classic, freewheeling roundtable. The hosts, John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, dive into topics ranging from the decline of baseball fandom, generational family quirks, unconventional blended family dynamics, to jaw-dropping confessions about lobotomies and family secrets. Frequent ribbing among the hosts and off-the-wall banter make for an engaging, unpredictable listen.

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1. State of Baseball & Banana Ball (00:14–11:10)

• Baseball Nostalgia and Decline

  • Holmberg opens with a lament for his fading passion for baseball:

    "I was a humongous baseball fan... It's hard for me to want to go to a baseball game now. And I'm not alone. This game is dying." — John Holmberg (03:11)

  • The hosts discuss reasons for disenchantment: lack of grit, emotion, and fun in modern MLB. Even diehards have grown indifferent.

  • Example of Ketel Marte, Diamondbacks star, leaving for the Dominican Republic after his house is burglarized, sparking jokes on “where you go to feel safe."

• Savannah Bananas/Banana Ball as Salvation

  • Exploration of the Savannah Bananas’ style: showmanship, entertainment, breaking baseball “rules” to reinvigorate the sport.
    • Notable rules: every fielder must touch the ball on walks, fans catching foul balls count as outs, in-game dancing and stunts.
    • Emphasis on why “purists” hate it but it connects with today’s audiences, especially families and younger fans.
    • “Suddenly there’s 40,000 people watching a bunch of guys doing backflips and dancing... The tradition of baseball will never come back.” — John Holmberg (06:09)
  • Hosts suggest MLB should incorporate “fun” elements, but worry about stat integrity and culture change.

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2. Emailer’s Conundrum: Blended Families and Exes (11:10–21:35)

• Listener Email: Young Wife & Overbearing Ex-Wife

  • Email from Hannah, 30, married to a 56-year-old man, whose ex-wife is constantly “correcting” her parenting of grandkids.
    • “I need her gone. Suggestions, Brett?” — Email read by John Holmberg (13:20)
  • The team offers candid advice, heavily teasing the complications of marrying into established families.
    • “Sorry, Hannah. You gotta have to deal with that. You married it.” — Chris (13:54)
    • John and the crew joke about “human Samsonite”—the emotional and literal baggage in relationships involving children from previous marriages.

• Wider Discussion: Stepparents, Step-Grandparents, and Age Gaps

  • Warnings about marrying into families with children/grandchildren, unavoidable continued relationships with exes.

    • “You're stuck with that ex wife for the rest of your life. It’s birthday parties, graduations, grandkids, you name it.” — Brady (16:11)

  • They riff on old vs. young step-relationships, jealousy, skin care (“decolletage”), generational beef, and impending awkwardness if Hannah wants her own kids.

  • Notable Quote:
    “When the grandkids are there, the ex has to show up... she hates you, by the way. She might say she likes you, but you’re everything she isn’t anymore.”
    — John Holmberg (17:19)

  • Jokes about being “Dateline” material if complications turn ugly.

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3. Brady's Family Bombshell: Lobotomies & Institutions (21:34–40:23)

• Revelation: Brady’s Grandmother Had a Lobotomy
  • Brady shares that his grandmother, Ruth, was institutionalized and had a lobotomy. The hosts react with disbelief and black humor.
    • “You’re the only one I’ve ever met in my life that’s got a lobotomized grandma. Awesome.” — John Holmberg (25:01)
  • The conversation spirals into speculating if Brady’s grandfather had ulterior motives, referencing One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest and tongue-in-cheek murder theories.
  • The hosts tease Brady about not recalling details of his family timeline, meeting his "new grandma" (after Ruth's death), and the secrecy/shush culture around family traumas.
    • “If you had to lobotomize Mathias, what’s the time limit before you’re like, all right—pillow over the face?”
      — John Holmberg (26:08)
  • Ongoing family secrets, odd memories, and generational weirdness.
    • “Season three: Who’s grandma Billy?” (39:35)

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4. The “Normal” Family Myth – More Listener Stories (40:23–47:00)

• Comparing Dysfunction: Listeners and Hosts
  • Listeners write in about their own eyebrow-raising family legends (suspicious deaths, step-grandparents appearing after quick remarriages, secret “cover-ups”).
    • “My grandpa showed up at my house one day and said my grandma had to go to the hospital because she ate too many peanuts... He was remarried by May, moved in with the new wife in February.” — Listener Melanie Garcia (45:44)
  • Discussion: Is this a Midwest/old-school thing? The hosts and listeners bond over their family weirdness.

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5. Outrageous Anecdotes – The "Brady's Revelations" Montage (47:00–55:20)

• Recap and expansion on past bizarre family stories:

  • Brady’s aunt exposing herself in a hot tub, family members with unexpected “beard” marriages (cover-ups for sexuality), and a grandmother rumored to be a brothel owner.
    • “Your uncle was a homosexual with the lands crew... Your dad helped free Cuba and become communist...” — (42:43–43:20)
  • Emphasis on how every family has skeletons—some bigger or funnier than others.

• Quote Highlight:
  “This is a series of insanity. It is.” — Chris (34:38)

• Meta-Humor:
  The hosts mock their “normal” credentials, comparing their own “stabilizing” households to the surrounding dysfunction.

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6. Memorable Closing Moments & Quotes

• The group gently interrogates Brady about his missing memories (“you don’t remember meeting new grandma?”) and theorizes about repressed trauma—with tongue firmly in cheek (35:00–38:00).
• Ongoing encouragement for listeners—and Brady himself—to “ask questions” and dig into family legends for more wild stories (41:27).

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Notable Quotes and Time Stamps

• On Baseball’s Decline:
  “It's a nerds game now... Savannah Bananas sell out stadiums for a reason.” — John Holmberg (08:01, 08:32)
• On Step-Relationships:
  “Never date a single mother... you’re gonna have emotions for a kid that isn’t yours.” — John Holmberg (14:06)
• On Family Secrets:
  “You guys put on a hell of a show... You were the original reality show, but a lobotomy in your family?” — John Holmberg (25:01)
• On Ongoing Inquiry:
  “Ask just for the sake of Brett... No, no, no. Ask questions like, was Hitler ever at our house?” — John Holmberg (52:16)

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Key Segments & Timestamps

• Baseball Talk & Savannah Bananas – 00:14–11:10
• Email/Blended Family Discussion – 11:10–21:35
• Brady’s Lobotomized Grandma & Family Revelations – 21:34–40:23
• Listener Family Stories & Midwest Tales – 40:23–47:00
• Montage of Family Anecdotes/Banter – 47:00–55:20

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Tone:
The whole episode is packed with irreverent, often dark humor, affectionate ribbing, and a casual, conversational style. The hosts don’t shy from poking fun at themselves, their co-hosts, or their listeners, yet always keep things playful and surprisingly insightful about human nature and family.

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Summary Useful For:
Anyone looking for sharp, unfiltered humor, real talk about family dysfunction, and uniquely memorable personal stories, even if they’ve never heard the show or know the hosts. The banter is quick, the laughs are big, and the stories... well, not everyone has a lobotomized grandma.

Transcript

[Brady]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the Core. He's not going to be back on the court immediately, but in a few months time he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain. You've been living with the Core Institute celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're. You're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do. Again, go to the Core Institute. Dot Comberg's morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Hey there, Miles to nowhere. Thank you very much, Katie and the Hobbs and I got an email about a guy who said baseball and stuff, talking about baseball. It is a man. Did I love baseball when I was a K and talking to Coach Marty yesterday, I was like, it doesn't get better than somebody who loved the game. When you loved the game and they were involved in it, you know, a few years older than me and he was a coach and saw a lot of guys coming up, met a lot of people. He's just great. Talking old baseball now. And I noticed this last night, even, even he was like. I said, who's, who's the closer for the. I said, Indians. Sorry. And he goes, oh, I don't know. Like, oh, you don't follow anyone. Nope. Don't care anymore. This game's lost me. He goes, there's no passion for it. It's weird. Now it's, you know, so there's no more grit in the game. And I'm like, is that cuz Ktel Marte is actually crying right now in the field? Is that why you say that we should try to make him cry? That's easy. Everybody can do that. You know, the thing about Catal Marte is his house was burglarized in Scottsdale. So after the All Star game, he had. He left. Now he's. He's arguably the best player on the, on the field for the Diamondbacks. They had, you know, Carroll and him. And he just didn't show up for two days. He went. And you know where he went? I just found this out. He went to the Dominican Republic. And Scott Haynes makes a good point. He says, isn't that like. Like leaving a small town after there was one crime to go relax in Baltimore? I'm like, why would I go to the doctor after somebody burglarized my house in Scottsdale? The only place. Call me down now is the Dominican Republic. Like, that's where everybody. Like, David Ortiz got shot eight times at dinner there. That is not.

[Chris]

That's at home.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but that's not a place I'd go after Scottdale.

[Chris]

You go to your mom.

[John Holmberg]

One burglary. You're an adult.

[Brady]

You can't go to your mom.

[Chris]

I'm just telling you, go to Mommy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what he did. Random army, which is more.

[Brady]

The White Sox told him about that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what that kid was yelling at. I robbed your house. And also, by the way, I. Your mom and his mom. His mom had passed away. I forgot about that. So that probably couldn't go. He couldn't go to his mom. You're right. I forgot. That's why that guy was yelling. I made him cry.

[Brady]

Nothing screams safety like going to the doctor.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm saying. I should go visit the prison. I feel really unsafe. Like, what are you doing? So he had to apologize the other day about why he didn't show up and all this other. It's just. It's just so emotional and everything else, and it's. I was a humongous baseball fan. That was my sport growing up. That's what I cared about the most. It wasn't close. My love for the Steelers was all baseball. Cubs first. And the game. I played it every day. You couldn't. Like, it's hard for me to want to go to a baseball game now. And I'm not alone. This game is dying. And they have. You know, they're like, oh, our ratings are on an uptick. And they're trying as hard as they can to wind the baseballs tighter, get some more home runs, get a. They've got more superstars in the game than they've had in years, and it still just doesn't. And that's where a guy emailed me, and he's like, I wanted your take on banana ball, the Savannah Bananas. And I told you guys when I went to that about five years ago, I'm like, hey, this is where it's at. This is the fun of the game. This made me feel like I was 7 or 8 years old. And that was when I saw him at Peoria Sports Complex. They just sold out the White Sox stadium three nights in a row. Yeah.

[Brady]

Burley Przeinski played. Ozzy Guillen showed up old players in.

[John Holmberg]

Because they're having fun. Then you go, they sold out Fenway park four nights, Philly two nights. These are. And you got to sit there.

[Chris]

If you're at where I watched where they were playing, but it was back to back, sold out.

[John Holmberg]

Unreal.

[Chris]

That's fun.

[John Holmberg]

And they show them on ESPN now. And if you're. If you've ever been to a Savannah Bananas game, you know, purists of baseball roll their eyes. I am a purist of baseball and I realize one thing, it's dead. The modern. It's a bunch of people who love the look at me factor. They're. This is a TikTok generation of 21 year olds that are in the game. And now you're supposed to be, you know, quiet, you know, do your job. There's no flash. There's. If you're flashy, you're annoying, if you're loud, you get yelled at. Excuse me, I got another one on deck. But, you know, so you put the Savannah Bananas out there. Suddenly there's 40,000 people watching a bunch of guys doing backflips and dancing on still. There's music. And now that's the circusy aspect of it. You take some of that and put it in Major League Baseball. I love what they do with walks. Ball four, go. You have to start hauling ass. And everybody in the field has to touch the ball. So they go around the horn the whole way. If anybody makes a mistake, there's a chance that walk turns into a run. It's huge and it's exciting. And so people are like, what. What would happen to baseball if you started to incorporate some of that? The clock. They have a clock, a countdown clock. You start getting to the end of that thing and there's a mad scramble and the pitches have to come out.

[Chris]

Catches the foul ball out.

[John Holmberg]

It's amazing. And leave it alone. If you're the home team, you're like, I'm not catching any of these foul balls. These guys stay alive.

[Brady]

I didn't know that part.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If a guy catches a ball and the danger is if there's. There's a. Like, let's say the Diamondbacks are playing the Royals and the Royals are here. And, you know, the Diamondbacks hit a Foul ball here at Chase Field and a Royals fan gets up and catches it. He's out too. So you can have the opposing team, have people in the crowd, get your home guys out and it's just a boo fest. They do a lot of fun stuff. It's. It's because the game is a drag that you can't. And Savannah Bananas is saving it. And they're going to be too stubborn to understand that the tradition of baseball will never come back.

[Chris]

It can't even know if that would save baseball.

[John Holmberg]

It would because they're. The guys that are on the field for every major league team are better than the guys on the Savannah Bananas.

[Brady]

Because they're a bunch of retired guys and guys that didn't make it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, dudes. You had injuries or almost made it. Yeah, they played well. A lot of these guys were AAA players. Some of them were cup of coffee.

[Chris]

They give the background. They said from University of Georgia.

[John Holmberg]

All of them played college. All of them were close. They were, you know, there's that fine line between being a pro ball player and a double a triple A guy. And they're good, they're really good baseball players. These guys that are on the field for the Diamondbacks are a lot better. So if you just allowed them to be flashy, you know, you get extra credit for a trick play, doing a spin or get in between your legs or catching. These guys do backflips and that's fly balls. And remember when Jim Edmonds played and he would get like, people would give him grief for like making a routine catch look like it was a diving incredible play. But it was always fun. I hated Jim Edmonds, but it was always fun. Like it was like he could have just gotten to that, but he'd slow down a little bit and then dive for it because he was that good. All of them are. But you got, you know, all this.

[Chris]

You know, catch behind the back fly balls all the way back to the warning trail.

[John Holmberg]

People would go nuts if, like Aaron Judge made a behind the back catch. And you have these great players doing great things to entertain us right now. It's just fundamentals, math. Let's talk about war rates. Let's talk about, you know, all the statistics. It's a nerds game now. Nobody likes that. And it's proof the Savannah Bananas sell out stadiums for a reason. And last night I could have used some Savannah Banana action on that field because it was what used to be a great baseball game. But there's no excitement at all. There's no Players out there seemingly having any fun. They're robots.

[Chris]

New revamped stadium. Fix that.

[Brady]

That park is.

[John Holmberg]

Nope.

[Brady]

Bad, too, though.

[John Holmberg]

The park is not fun.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's a boring part.

[John Holmberg]

A lot of times you go to a baseball stadium for the park.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The game is secondary at this point, and I love the game. Well, playoff baseball's fun. I. I would still love that because the stadium's full. There's a difference on the line.

[Chris]

Exciting. I mean, they got something that you're. You're in the hunt.

[John Holmberg]

There's teams in the hunts. Look, in 2023, in September, I went to a Cubs Diamondbacks game. Two of the three games I went to. Both of those teams were the last wild card team. They were going back and forth through September. It was a playoff game. Essentially, these two were. The winner of that series was more than likely going to go on to the playoff. Diamondbacks went to the World Series that year. There were 12,000 people there. It was a morgue. It's. That is a. That is a dead stadium. Even when it's great. Even the World Series to me, had less energy than it should. I went to the one. And granted, it's not a fair comp, but going to Wrigley Field, when they were in the World Series in 2016, every. Everything that happened felt like somebody was like, you were on Molly the whole time. Diamondbacks think, yeah, it's all right.

[Chris]

It'll never change. But one of the things that I think do is always shorten the season up.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. If you're going to start.

[Chris]

People have been saying that for years.

[John Holmberg]

You're going to start messing with the.

[Chris]

But that messes with.

[John Holmberg]

But if you're gonna start. Yeah, but if you're gonna start messing with the game altogether, you can shorten it, but they can't just shorten it and keep it the same, because then statistically that takes away from the fans. Because if a guy's hit 50 home runs and they're only playing 135 games, like, he would have broke the record. Like when you. Let's get him back in that 162 and see how many he could have done. So that kills that. But you can still do that 162 games. If you add fun, you know, just add some fun and then get rid of the old stats and up.

[Chris]

They tried to do that a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

I've never seen them try to do that.

[Chris]

I mean, as much as they can in game skits. And.

[John Holmberg]

You want the game to be entertaining. You don't Want the idiots in between that. That's proof your game sucks. As if you have to have little movies between innings to keep people interested.

[Brady]

I do like the pitch clock.

[John Holmberg]

Love it.

[Brady]

Like you can't keep replacing relievers every, every batter. Yeah, they used to drive me crazy. Yeah, like you hate the ghost man on second during, during extra innings. Extra innings.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just like, this is, it is a little annoying. But yeah, they gotta fix it. That's all they got to do is just try and fix it. I still, yeah, I still love that. You know, it's still the game I loved as a kid, the game. But it's impossible to watch. It really is. Then it's the nerd festival. Even the, the scoreboard has too many stats on it. I got this email from this person and I, I enjoyed it very much. So I'm going to read it says, I want to know what you think. I've been married for six years. My husband is 56 and I'm 30. First off, I think awesome job.

[Brady]

Nice kill, kid.

[John Holmberg]

The Jim Jeffries special is very funny because he talks about erectile dysfunction and he says, is it, is it your penis that breaks or is it just because you're, you're women who are 50 years old now? And he goes, because he said, I know that if you're 75 and you go into the doctor and your wife's like, you can't get an erection anymore. And he's like, yeah, can't get it hard. And he just gives a head nod to the. It's her, it's her. Because you're trying to get hard for an old lady. And he said, and then some, you know, 22 year old nurse's assistant comes in and suddenly he's cured. He's like, I think it's just because he said he had a problem with premature ejaculation in his 20s. And he goes, and I don't have that problem anymore. He goes, and you know why? It's because I'm not 20 year olds anymore so I can last longer. So to this guy, 56 and 30, whatever. But she's the one emailing. She says my husband's ex wife is always around and acts like I don't know what I'm doing. Now keep in mind, I just realized this as I, she was 24 when they got married. They've been married for six years and she's 30. So how long?

[Chris]

48.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but how long did they date before he locked it down?

[Brady]

Long enough when she seen his bank Account?

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, she was all in, but he's divorced. She had what he like, hey, probably.

[Brady]

Divorced some 50 year old broad and then now he's. Now he's got the 24 year old of his daughters.

[John Holmberg]

May have overlapped. Yeah, now that I'm thinking about it. All right.

[Chris]

Could have been an overlap.

[John Holmberg]

Could have been an overlap. But then the ex wife being around all the time doesn't make sense because if there was an overlap, she's never going to show up.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Interesting. Your dynamic is fascinating. Anyway, she says the ex wife is always around and she acts like I don't know what I'm doing with her grandkids. Which I guess are kind of mine too. I need her gone. Suggestions, Brett? I love you guys. Been listening since I was little. You're still little. And my dad would laugh all morning. You've got daddy issues. Thanks for the joy, Hannah. The palindrome.

[Chris]

Sorry, Hannah. You gotta have to deal with that.

[John Holmberg]

You married it.

[Chris]

Yeah. You got to know what you're getting into.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Chris]

You marry someone that has an ex.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Or shares kids.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I've always said.

[Chris]

Be part of that mix.

[John Holmberg]

Never date a single mother. Holmberg's morning sickness. Because if you start to fall for. You're not only getting involved with her, you're gonna have emotions for the kid that isn't yours.

[Chris]

That's for you. I mean.

[John Holmberg]

But then there's some dude in your life now. You got to accept all that.

[Chris]

You have to.

[John Holmberg]

And if you don't, and it's a lot to take on. Don't date them.

[Chris]

You're gonna have a tough, tough time.

[John Holmberg]

Find one that didn't show up with human Samsonite.

[Brady]

That's tough these days.

[John Holmberg]

Of course it is. Everybody's pumping them out.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Chris]

You have to. I. I think that you nailed it, Brad. I mean the big thing is, is everyone comes in to a relationship to begin with with luggage. So you got to figure out how.

[John Holmberg]

Much of that can you personality realize that is different than another person. Luggage. Luggage. Luggage that's actually going to school and stuff.

[Chris]

But again, it's something that you have to deal with.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Chris]

You have to realize this is part of the deal.

[John Holmberg]

It's intolerable. And everybody should just join my team on this one. Never date. Look at you. Look what you did. You went through your divorce, you cycled through some weirdos. A couple of them probably had kids. You're like, that ain't happening. And then you find Madea.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Childless.

[Brady]

A unicorn.

[John Holmberg]

A unicorn. Pretty. Yeah. In her 30s. Yep. Earner.

[Brady]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

It's possible there's patience involved because there's nothing worse than falling for a lady and her kid. And then the lady's like, I don't like you anymore. Now you're gonna break up with a whole family.

[Brady]

Well, it's like Brady said, too. You're going to be stuck with, you know, that significant other or ex other. Yeah, that was the great thing about my, you know, getting divorced. We didn't have any kids, so, like, I never have to see her again if I don't want to. Yeah, you know, that is completely done. But like, these dudes with, you know, kids with other wives and stuff like that, you're stuck with. You're stuck with that ex wife for the rest of your life. It's birthday parties, graduations, grandkids, you name it. You know, you're stuck.

[John Holmberg]

Grandkids. Christmas is terrible.

[Chris]

And by the eyes. When. When she cycles out.

[John Holmberg]

She said she might not. Brady. This could last a lifetime. You stop it. You sound like a woman.

[Chris]

And the new 24.

[John Holmberg]

You'll be scorned. Listen to this broad over. They put you on estrogen before your surgery. What are you doing? You do not. You do not tear apart this man's trophy and say that she'll cycle out the point. I heard what you said. You were making the point that you're not going to last forever. You. He'll move on to some young chippy again later.

[Chris]

Maybe like the way the existing.

[John Holmberg]

But you treated your. Shut up about. By the way, you are 30. You have no idea what to do with kids or grandkids. It would be like me if some other person showed up and said, let me handle the kids. Okay, that seems great.

[Brady]

Maybe she better listen to some Beyonce.

[John Holmberg]

Let me. Let me upgrade. Yeah, this dude might have 15 or 20 years left. You're going to be fine.

[Chris]

It's the mother and slash mother in law vibe.

[John Holmberg]

She'll write rarely because she's of the age of mother in law. Yeah, but she's over there all the time. When the grandkids are there, the ex has to show up and be part of the grandkid parties like birthdays and things like that. You're 30. She hates you, by the way. There's nothing about. She might say she likes you because.

[Brady]

You'Re 30 and tight.

[John Holmberg]

You are everything. Yeah, you're everything she isn't anymore. And maybe she still looks good, but she looks at you and your skin and hates you because your skin hasn't Quit on her yet nothing better. And I've said that I don't. I never knew this till now. This is great old man advice to women. Take care of that skin. Because you see it like when women don't. Oh, not only does their skin go south, they start getting really mad at young people for no reason at all. And it's because of their skin. And mainly the. This is a great word I learned from Cindy Crawford. Decolletage. Decolletage. That's today's word of the day. Look it up. Because ladies, you need to keep an eye on that. That turns into Pringles on you real fast. So you can keep your face skin all smooth and then you like move and suddenly from your neck to your cleavage.

[Chris]

You gotta wear a dicky.

[John Holmberg]

It's Pringles.

[Brady]

Well, and turkey neck too.

[John Holmberg]

Turkey neck? Forget it. Oh, no wonder they hate these young with your tick tock accounts. Getting along with the grandkids because you got more in common than she does. The birthday parties, they all like you. This old hag comes running in, starts yelling at him the whole time. But you married into it when you were 24, which makes you stupid. So the ex wife is right for coming in there going, you don't know what to do with these kids. Get out of the way. Move. Why do you want to be a good grandma anyway? You're 30. What's going to be really weird is when your your clock gets going, Hannah. And you ask this 56 year old guy to put one in you. And now you've got kids younger than his grandkids and that starts to circulate around the ex wife. There's going to be. You're a dateline but you're going to be on the ID channel. Give me last names because I want to look you up the day it.

[Chris]

Happens when somebody handful of people that will do that. Call Al Pacino. He'll put one.

[John Holmberg]

No, Pacino will put. The dudes do it all the time. I just thought, you know, and you knew that when you got married that I probably would want a child someday. Now Brett and I would have that same reaction. It's been lovely knowing you. Here is your check for $10,000 and your parting basket. Goodbye. Is that the deal we signed? Yes. You get $10,000 of my money for just time spent in a parting gifts. Well, there's DVDs in it. I know they're useless. I just wanted to get rid of them myself. So off you go. Go find somebody to put a baby in you. You've wasted the last seven years of my life. Nope. You knew. You knew Hannah. But. Yeah, you. You 30 and 56. There's the perils of getting involved. And he's got kids and grandkids. Oh, man. Oh, also, Hannah, his kids hate you. They're nice to you because they have to be. They hate you.

[Chris]

I knew you were friends with his daughter.

[John Holmberg]

They hate you. Oh, yeah, that's.

[Chris]

That's a tough friendship.

[John Holmberg]

Now, remember when you used to be friends with his daughter and now it's different? Isn't when you were in the sorority together? Time of your lives. Then he came out for parents weekend. You find out Dad's bone and Hannah on the side. Next thing you know, the marriage is over. Hannah and dad are getting married. She cut you off emotionally. You are not friends with her. Oh, yeah, sure. He's still talking. Have fun. She hates you. Every night she lays her head on her pillow and bitches to her husband about how much her dad screwed up her. Hannah.

[Chris]

Your step grammy hates her step grandma.

[John Holmberg]

Hilarious. Yeah. It's decolletage. Hannah, start on that now, because it's probably why the last guy left. You got to keep that skin fair. Too much sun ends up in that crusty, pringly. Decolletage. Decolletage. Cindy Crawford's got a whole line of meaningful beauty products designed specifically for the deglotage. Because she knows. And if you look at Cindy's smooth, she's been taking care of it. She knows.

[Chris]

But you had a step grammy.

[John Holmberg]

You had. Was she a child?

[Chris]

Because my original grandma Ruth died when I was like 5 or 6, so.

[John Holmberg]

He had to move on. Was that the crazy one? No, no, that was a different one. But. So Ruth died and then papa led Grandma Billy and Grandma Billy was crazy or Grandma Billy showed up.

[Chris]

Ruth was the one that had the mental illness.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she. So the one that died was bananas. Yeah. Okay. And then he was like, put her in a home, she croaks, and he brings home a 30 year old. Or was Grandma Billy age appropriate?

[Chris]

Billy was a little bit younger, but.

[John Holmberg]

Like a lot or a little.

[Chris]

Maybe 10 year.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty good. That's okay. So Pop Pop brings home brand new squish.

[Chris]

You're the governor's secretary.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Do you remember meeting the new grandma?

[Chris]

I do not. Like, I can't recall, like, the first day that.

[John Holmberg]

But your grandma died when you were five.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So when did he marry Billy?

[Chris]

Like a year or two.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he knew Billy when grandma was in the hospital, when Grandma Ruth was actually really.

[Chris]

I Think so? Yeah, I think he knew. I. Yeah, he knew who she was.

[John Holmberg]

Again, Brett, no questions. You don't suppose.

[Chris]

There'S a crossover?

[John Holmberg]

No, he might have. Let's get rid of this. Grandma Ruth in the mental institution.

[Chris]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You don't think he had something happen. Easy. A year later, he's married again.

[Chris]

I think it maybe. Maybe it was a little bit easier to look on after the lobotomy.

[John Holmberg]

She had a lobotomy. So here we go. Brady again. He cleared that he had medical power of attorney. He's the one who got her the lobotomy.

[Chris]

By the recommendation.

[John Holmberg]

Doctor probably said, well, there's a couple of options if you wanted to go that route. Nobody said, I'll take that one recommendation of a lobotomy. That has to be family that says, yeah, do that. So he lobotomized his wife. Make America great again. He could do that. You guys didn't ask any questions about. Hey, hey, grandpa, how come you lobotomized her before? None of your business.

[Chris]

I got to get the story.

[John Holmberg]

You got to get. Well, that's pretty awesome because you don't just remember.

[Brady]

You got to get the story. You've never gotten the story.

[John Holmberg]

You've never gotten this. Yeah, I'm getting it for you. This is good stuff. Yeah. Get this one before Tuesday.

[Chris]

You try to recall these things because I was so young when that happened. But after the fact, knowing that. Yeah. She had to spend some time in a home. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And they. They pulled their frontal lobe.

[Chris]

Got out. She got out of there.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they let her out after the lobotomy, I think.

[Chris]

I mean, I just. I remember going the. To the house and she was always just very nice.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She had no options. Her brain only worked in one gear.

[Chris]

I don't think she did much.

[John Holmberg]

She was. She couldn't. She's like a four wheel drive in low one. She's got. She can only go like two miles an hour and it's like, hi, everyone. This is all I do. So you knew her post lobotomy?

[Chris]

I had to.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, right. Because she died when you were five. So she got that lobotomy and like just functioned around on lobotomized.

[Chris]

Just was happy in the 60s.

[John Holmberg]

You saw her as happy, but what she was was blank. This is fantastic, Brad. I didn't know grandma Billy had a lobotomy. Your family is a disaster.

[Brady]

It's funny. He learns it on this show.

[John Holmberg]

I know. He just thinks it was a Rockwell painting and it's a disaster. You guys put on a hell of a show. Let Me tell you that you guys were the original reality show, But a lobotomy and your family? You're the only one I've ever met in my life that's got a lobotomized grandma. Awesome. There's a few family members probably get lobotomies in Brett's family, but it was not by choice. And there was no doctor involved. Nope.

[Brady]

22 behind the ear.

[John Holmberg]

A lobotomy, Brady. They took out her frontal lobe because it was driving grandpa nuts. And you never once said, then she died. What'd she die of?

[Chris]

I'm getting the story straight.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know what your grandma died from? No, no, she just died. Grandpa killed her. He had her killed so he could marry the governor's secretary a year later. You don't lobotomize a woman and stay with her forever. You look, Brett. You look for a way out.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If you had to lobotomize Mathias, what's the time limit before you're like, all right. Pillow over the face. In fact, that's how Cuckoo's Nest ends. Chief goes over to the lobotomized Jack Nicholson, pillows his face, throws the water fountain out the window, and runs away. Which is exactly what Brady's grandpa probably got the idea from Cuckoo's Nest.

[Brady]

He stuck somebody in there.

[John Holmberg]

It was before it was a book, before the movie.

[Chris]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

And your grandpa probably read more than he went to the movies. And the end of that book was like a light bulb over his head, like he was Edison. Your grandpa killed your grandma. I stand by it. No man's hanging around a lobotomized broad and then looking over at the governor's secretary, getting winks and like, oh, no kidding. And I gotta get rid of the dead weight over here and. Hmm. Lobotomy. She's not gonna be able to fight back too hard. She's gonna smile through the whole damn thing. You don't know how she died at all?

[Chris]

No, I just. I bet you it's a little brother and my mom.

[John Holmberg]

Is it your mom? It's your dad's family.

[Chris]

It's my dad's family.

[John Holmberg]

A little suspicious. I bet you the death was a little suspicious.

[Chris]

She fell down a lot in front of a car.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he. People saw him with his. His cane. Yeah, she got Gary Cole. His cane was, like, stuck out.

[Chris]

She tried Toledo.

[John Holmberg]

You don't even have anybody in your family who's been lobotomized?

[Chris]

Jesus, I hope not.

[John Holmberg]

Man, this is amazing. You say this with a little smile on your face, like, yeah, what's the big whoop? Your grandma had a lobotomy.

[Chris]

Like, I know I could be wrong on this too, but I don't.

[John Holmberg]

How do you just pull. How do you carry that story for 65 years and not get corrected?

[Chris]

65 years.

[John Holmberg]

Sorry.

[Chris]

60.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're pushing him a little bit. He's not gonna make it to 65. We're getting all the stories we can get now.

[Chris]

King Casey released One Flew over the cuckoo's nest in 1962.

[John Holmberg]

When did she die? 70 if you were five.

[Chris]

Yeah, that's probably around.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he read the book. Hol's morning sickness probably in 67.

[Chris]

He did call her Chief.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's where you got it from. And then. That's right. That's where it all began. That's why you hate chief so much. That's why you hate. That triggers you when somebody goes, what's up, Chief? My grandma killed my grandma. And he called her Chief.

[Chris]

Look, you've been taking the pickaxe to the ore of his world forever.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody has. Careful what you stop mining away for. He's. Yeah, well, it's all manifested into his kidneys. They're going to remove all these terrible memories on Tuesday. And you're going to be better. Yeah, you will.

[Chris]

It's going to be a crystal ball on my kidney.

[John Holmberg]

You're just going to hear dog tired, boss. You're going to sleep Green Mile. How about that? A lobotomy in the room. Boys, this is. You are amazing. You keep coming up.

[Chris]

No big deal.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brady]

It is when we go on.

[John Holmberg]

Craziest family I've ever.

[Chris]

I can run a full week of Brady's Revelations. Things that you learned on this show.

[John Holmberg]

Like that's nothing. Everybody's. Uncle John slept with the gardener for nappy times. What?

[Chris]

Your dad was in the revolution.

[John Holmberg]

Your dad helped free Cuba and become communist.

[Chris]

You found that out here?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. You found out your dad was part of the communist revolution.

[Chris]

Went there the year before and after.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody else was allowed to do that. He was in something with like. Something about Castro was like, come on down.

[Chris]

Man. There's some cool pictures.

[John Holmberg]

Your uncle was a homosexual with the lands crew.

[Chris]

Now, now, that's your assumption.

[John Holmberg]

Come on, your assumption. You go to bed.

[Chris]

It's not.

[Brady]

You saw your aunt's cans.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, your aunt showed your her cans in the hot tub at a family event.

[Chris]

She called you Tubs. A good core memory.

[Brady]

It's a different one.

[Chris]

Oh, that was a different one.

[John Holmberg]

The worst part of the ant show in the can story. As we go down Brady Lane and it's been. Let's eulogize them early. Is the. When you said the words that were ultra creepy. And I don't think you realized that when she goes. Then my aunt got. And she took her top off. She had a nice figure. I remember hearing that. And I remember my whole butt went. What did he just say about his aunt's cans? She had a real nice figure. Yeah. And he and a guy were in a hot tub with his naked aunt, and he was okay with it.

[Chris]

Her son.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Chris]

And Uncle Fred. Frank.

[John Holmberg]

Who was, by the way, half hard. Was Uncle Frank her husband?

[Chris]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my.

[Chris]

Uncle Frank was her sister.

[Brady]

Another thing we learned.

[John Holmberg]

It was a sister's husband.

[Chris]

Oh, Sister's husband. The whole family was there.

[John Holmberg]

So would you be comfortable if your sister hopped into the hot tub with Ronnie and dropped top with Kirby? Yeah. You wouldn't. That's terrible. Call cps.

[Chris]

Hilarious.

[John Holmberg]

It is. Was Lobotomized Granny out there picking apples off of an orange tree. These are fantastic tales from the Bogan history. That lobotomy story might be the best. I knew she was in a nut house. You told me that.

[Chris]

Yeah. And again, I'm from what I was told, even after the fact, which is very little, because I just. You know.

[John Holmberg]

And that's not.

[Chris]

I just knew she had, you know, mental problems either. She was bipolar. Whatever.

[John Holmberg]

But that was your dad's real mom?

[Chris]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. And they.

[Chris]

You know, during. When they were married. They're married for years. Years.

[John Holmberg]

And then he got.

[Chris]

She went in and out of the nuts like she. My dad would live with my great grandfather on the. On their ranch that they had in town for a couple of years until my.

[John Holmberg]

Until Grandma got straight. Yeah, until Billy started to. Yeah, because stuff was going crazy, which is why John was sleeping with the gardener.

[Chris]

Why Jack? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Sorry. Jack. He had some stuff going on, too. Your dad came out of that pretty normal.

[Chris]

It was called the Columbus Riding Ranch for one reason.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, because Pedro got to hop on top of Jack at the riding ranch. Oh, my God. So you're telling me they're married for what, 40, 50 years? 40 years.

[Chris]

Pretty close, right? Well, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She dies, and he's got a wife again a year later.

[Chris]

I could be wrong on the timeline, but Billy was around.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Grandma Billy showed up.

[Chris]

I mean, junior high. She's Grandma.

[John Holmberg]

You know, probably pretty soon after. And you said it could be eight years after.

[Chris]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Jeez. It was either one or eight years. You don't remember from five until 13, meeting a new grandma. Those are members. Those are years. You don't remember meeting new Grandma. That would be a huge one for me if Alvar showed up with new grandma. That's a core memory. I'm not. That day is going to sink in.

[Chris]

But existing grandma, I didn't see that much anyway.

[John Holmberg]

Did you go to. Yeah, I know, but did you go to. Did you go to new Grandma and grandpa's wedding?

[Chris]

I might have been younger when.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. But still. So what you're.

[Chris]

Because Ruth passed away and my great grandfather Amer.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Chris]

Also passed away, like right around.

[John Holmberg]

Let's ballpark about the age Grandpa married new grandma. Yeah, right. Ten for you, right?

[Chris]

Probably.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, about right. Nine, ten years old. Those are some memories.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Grandpa shows up with the new lady.

[Chris]

I probably went to the wedding.

[John Holmberg]

You don't remember if you were at your grandpa's wedding?

[Brady]

Is this like Bewitched where a new Darren just shows up and Brady's just.

[John Holmberg]

Like, okay, this dude needs to be.

[Chris]

Hypnotized by so much therapist. I had so much stuff going on.

[John Holmberg]

You were nine. You had a lot on your mind.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Why are we wasting our time in radio? We should be writing this for hbo.

[John Holmberg]

It's a series of insanity. It is.

[Chris]

Am I going to make the all star team playing on Seneca?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, I get it. You had the Seneca team and you guys were close to the local playoffs and, oh, grandpa has got a new grandma now. They know her later.

[Chris]

And then 1975, I think they moved to Naples.

[John Holmberg]

I got to tell you this. I'm pretty sure. And I don't want to tell you this.

[Chris]

So that was.

[John Holmberg]

You were 10.

[Chris]

Yeah, I was. So they were married before.

[John Holmberg]

So seven or eight. You still should have. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and I'm gonna say you need to see somebody because I'm pretty sure you were raped and you've black you block. Because my ex wife.

[Chris]

No, I would remember that.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, you wouldn't. Yeah, that's what repressed memories are. My ex wife got touched a little bit too often by some family members and blanked out a lot of the 80s, like, similar to this conversation. And then would never confront the fact that I think something happened. I think he got thumbed by Uncle Jack or something like. All right, we're just going to delete. You don't remember new Grandma? That's huge. New grandma is. Every kid remembers new Grandma. Every kid. Did you ever get a new grandma?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Chris]

Why are you Saying that. Then you've never gotten a new grandma before, right? It would be my grandma.

[John Holmberg]

Mind blowing.

[Chris]

New grandma Billy was, but just showed up, came out to.

[John Holmberg]

And you don't remember if you were.

[Chris]

At their wedding to Naples and.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you don't remember.

[Chris]

And I'd go down there and visit.

[John Holmberg]

I was three or four. I went to my uncle Donnie's wedding and he tried to get me to kiss aunt Ella for the first time. And he said, give her a kiss, that's her new aunt. And I'm like, no. He's like, why? And I'm like, she's ugly. I told a woman on her wedding day she was ugly when I was like three. And I remember it. I remember her weird dress. I remember the awful church in Lowell, Indiana. You don't remember if you were at your grandpa's wedding? That's just a funny phrase.

[Chris]

Yeah, I don't remember much of it.

[Brady]

I'm telling you, it's a witch. The new Darren just shows up and he just accepts it.

[John Holmberg]

You cannot remember meeting new grandma, but remembers every meal he's ever eaten and what restaurants are on every street corner. Chris. That's true.

[Chris]

Went to some great restaurants.

[John Holmberg]

Now you got some Grandma Billy course flowing.

[Chris]

Eddie's and Marco Island.

[John Holmberg]

That sounds nice. But you do not remember meeting the day Grandma Billy.

[Chris]

The first time I met grandma Billy.

[John Holmberg]

Or the or around that. I'll give you the fact that the day you shook hands with her might not have registered. But like after a while I was like, grandma Billy's gonna be here for a while. And also you started to have to call her Grandma Billy at a certain point.

[Chris]

Yeah, I mean it was always. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's just Billy. For a while it was pretty much Billy. But he married her and you were probably there.

[Chris]

I don't know if I was.

[John Holmberg]

That is blindingly crazy.

[Chris]

But it was the second. They might have just gotten a small ceremony. I maybe. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But you don't also don't remember like the announcement that grandpa married Billy? Yeah, that would be mind numbing to me. You do remember them being married.

[Chris]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

You remember when they were married? You don't remember when, but like the exact year? No, yeah, I'm saying exact. But like the core memory of the wedding should be a thing.

[Chris]

Yeah, there wasn't. So I don't know if I even went. That's why I was saying that's John.

[Brady]

Give Brady a break. He's had a lot on his plate since he was a little kid.

[John Holmberg]

Since he was 4. That's true. He's been dealing with a lot for the last 60 years. You do hear that that's crazy though, right? That not remembering new grandma in your life. She just was there. It's new. Darren. You're right. Don't ever talk about it. It's just there just happened. She just there. And nobody asked questions about grandma Billy or grandma Ruth suddenly dropped.

[Chris]

Yeah. I'm sure my parents. Because they knew.

[John Holmberg]

She never passed down the information.

[Chris]

They knew Billy's ex and you know, and that family. That side of the family.

[John Holmberg]

So it was well known.

[Chris]

And I do. I knew Billy's daughter and.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Well, I would hope you would know Billy's family. She was your grandmother.

[Chris]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Chris]

So.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We made sense that you mingled together. Yeah. That's not in question. It's the timeline and the fact that you never said whatever happened to grandma Ruth after the lobotomy and then a year after that. Grandpa's got a new gal. 40 years of marriage and he's got.

[Chris]

And so that timeline's probably not all right.

[John Holmberg]

But still it usually takes after 40 year marriage that ends with death a while before the dude's back on the ball. Married again and moving to Naples.

[Chris]

He stayed with her a long time after the fact that she went through all this stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Chris]

Because my dad was going through that when he was a kid.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Chris]

With.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So he killed her. Brady, your grandpa got rid of your grandma to move on to grand.

[Chris]

Did the right things.

[John Holmberg]

And everybody in the house was like, do not question what is happening. Grandma Ruth is gone. This is grandma Billy. Here's the script for the next episode and it shall never be mentioned again. Okay.

[Brady]

Season three.

[John Holmberg]

Season three. Who's grandma Billy? The Hogan family just turned. The Bogan family just turned into. It was Valerie. It was called Valerie. And then they killed her. And then they said the Hogan family don't talk about it says you're not asking the right questions. Ask what food was served at grandpa's wedding and you'll get a date location, how good the food was, exactly how fully. That's true. Do you remember the spread at grandpa's wedding?

[Chris]

Schnitzel.

[John Holmberg]

And it was a German wedding. It's a nice German wedding. That's fascinating. You're fascinating, man. Toledo's story and your story are neck and neck for who's got the goofier background. That's nuts. Lobotomy has this hold my beer moment to Toledo's Grandma was a hooker. We're the normal ones, man.

[Brady]

I never would have guessed that One.

[John Holmberg]

You and me are like, yeah, we. This was Rosie. I remember my friend Mark told my dad a couple years ago. He comes over and he goes, I just wanted to thank you, Dan. My dad's like, for what? My dad always liked Mark a lot. And Stebbing says, I used to go to your house because my house was so chaotic and you guys were so normal. And I'm like, no, you're confusing us with another family like that. And he goes, no, no, I come to your house to feel good because my house was so, you know, weird. And I'm like, yeah, I think you're going to Burkhart's place. I don't think that was my. I think you're confusing my dad for Glenn Burkhart. I don't think that's a real thing. And he's like, no, your dad was like a real stabilizing force. I'm like, well, at least one of us got that out of him because that. You weren't afraid of him. He was crazy. No, he was an awesome. He was an awesome dad. Like, I know he was a good dad because I'm still alive, but that was really goal one and goal two. He didn't care about anything else. And if I was throwing hard and I look like a boy on the field, that's all he cared about. Does he run like a girl? That was really my dad's biggest concern. Man, Brady, these are fascinating tales. You need to.

[Chris]

Yeah, now I want to.

[John Holmberg]

Of course you do.

[Chris]

I got to.

[John Holmberg]

I hate that. I hate that I spark your curiosity.

[Chris]

I hate that I like it.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. No, I'm glad it happens. But I wish you had that on your own. You would come with the stories without having to be.

[Chris]

You know, sometimes that's. You know, because at one time I was curious and asking questions. My dad telling about Ruth.

[John Holmberg]

Then he beat it out of you. No, he.

[Chris]

He kind of told it. It was just one time.

[John Holmberg]

He can't be the one you asked.

[Chris]

Though, Because I really didn't.

[John Holmberg]

Because your dad's not gonna.

[Chris]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Your dad's not gonna be real quick to say, my mom was nuts and my dad might have killed her. And, ah, we don't talk about.

[Chris]

I remember he was pretty open on saying she had mental.

[John Holmberg]

Your mom. Yeah, but your mom's the one to get the details from your dad. There's no hiding the mental problems. Your mom's the one that knows the deep down dirty. And she's kept that quiet because, you know, out of respect for your dad and his history and not bringing up, you know, not hitting that beehive. My goodness, you'd think you'd remember new Grandma. New Grandma's a good band name, by the way. Yeah. This one says I get Brady a little on this one. My biological grandma died right after my parents were married. My grandpa got remarried in two or three years. I never knew my old grandma. That's different. If you only had one grandma. Not that you knew her, but you knew of her and you were aware of her and you had met her and you do have memories of that. Of meeting happy crazy Ruth. You said so. Like you'd go over there. She was always happy.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You knew her. Are you okay?

[Chris]

I'm just trying.

[Brady]

He's. The wheels are spinning over there.

[Chris]

Like really, like. I. I don't know if I. I'm just trying to. You know, initially I'm thinking I did. Did I hang out with Ruth? I don't remember. There's some pictures, but I just can't.

[John Holmberg]

You had memories of her about 13.

[Chris]

Minutes ago in the house he built. Yeah, he built a duplex and they lived in the second half of. Was a really cool setup. So you do remember staying over there and then having, you know, breakfast with her in the next.

[Brady]

So you were.

[Chris]

Yes, I remember that.

[John Holmberg]

So you were with Ruth and you had surrounded meal again. Sure, sure. You had breakfast with the lady who just stared at the light bulbs going fascinating. So you were there for her. So it isn't like just a concept. She was a reality.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like this guy emails. His grandma was a. Was a. He didn't get to meet her. He says it was. My grandpa got remarried two or three years. Never knew old grandma. It was weird. No one talked about it. My grandpa was really high up in the army and secret stuff he used to do as a civilian. He wasn't even around when she died at 50. Howard Hughes sent him to Illinois in his private jet for a funeral and stuff. He goes, we never questioned it. My dad pulled strings not to get an autopsy done. My family is rose colored glasses too. I'm on Brady's team. Yeah, it's weird. How do you. Sorry. This is the family story and don't question it. Brett's family isn't as secretive and they've murdered plenty of rats and snitches. My family's jinx. What a dragon. We'll find out. No, I ask all the. You know why I. Oh, my grandpa probably killed his dad. Even though I just went on some ancestry site and searched Augustus Holmberg, and he died. Like, now the story doesn't make any sense because he died when he was, like, 70. And they said it was of complications, but we all know for a fact that I. That my grandpa burned up the guy that used to beat his mother. Which, you know, it was weird, but that was when he was really young. So I'm not sure what the story is there, but. Oh, yeah. Circulates all around that. We're pretty sure my grandpa murdered either his stepdad or his real dad, and we don't know. And again, because that was the generation that said, this is what happened. This is what you need to know. And then the story gets passed down and then there's some holes in it, and anybody with an inquisitive nature gets involved and says, hold on, that wasn't your real dad. There's plenty of people that find that stuff out that's not your real dad. Like, later in life, because the family tells that story for years. It's harder to do now with DNA tests and stuff. Brady, this is fascinating.

[Brady]

This is a long one, but kind of along the same lines.

[John Holmberg]

So thanks for making us feel like my family is normal. My grandpa showed up at my house one day and said my grandma had to go to the hospital because she ate too many peanuts. And she was in the hospital for two months and died. My family says he killed her because he took her to a different hospital than normal. So it wasn't a regular doctor and let them give her medication. She had allergies to and she died in December. He was remarried by May, moved in with the new wife in February. I guess it's more common than I thought. Melanie Garcia. Wow. I like Melanie Garcia's grandpa. Yeah, your grandma's pretty sick. She was eating nuts or something. Did you take her to the hospital? Yeah, I took her to a hospital in Show Low. They said they got the best nut doctors there. Anyway, this is your new grandma now. And we're just gonna erase old grandma, okay? Because she didn't die from me or anything. It was nuts. I hate that planters guy. If I see a monocle and a top pad, I'm gonna stab him. Sorry, Mrs. Garcia. I just assumed that's how that went down, you know, from the old country. All right, Brady, keep. Keep digging. If you need me to ask a few questions for you, I will.

[Brady]

You need to.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I need to get involved, get you some truth. My great grandma was the whore of Vincennes. I found that out later in life. She had. My grandma had five Brothers and sisters, and none of them had the same dad. Everybody was a step brother. And that's in like the 30s. Women didn't have babies. There was no NBA, is what I'm saying. There was no. Like, you didn't have like five dads and one mom or vice versa. She was a baby mama to five different dudes, man. And. And ran an old folks home and somehow or another was just rolling in dough. And it was because I think she was taking money to bone some of the patients. That's the rumor. And it's a better story than Grandma Thornberry just being Grandma Thornberry. And their dog, Scout or Badger or whatever his name was. He was an awesome golden retriever, but had a Siamese cat. I don't know if you can still call him that. I think it's a conjoined cat now. I'm not sure. Named Mingi. That tried to kill my sister. Tried to cut her eye out with Hilarious. That was my first dance with 9 11. Is that if that cat was just a little more accurate, my sister would have to wear a patch. It would have been even funnier for Gray. Would have made my dad's life a lot easier. If my sister had a patch on her eye, she wouldn't have been interested anyway. She wouldn't have seen all those dudes to have sex with out of the right side of her head. Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats?

[Brady]

Nothing after that?

[John Holmberg]

No. I don't know what to do from here on. That's. Thank you for sharing. Nothing but getting to somewhere. Brady, are we getting scrambling for answers? Nobody's giving you answers.

[Chris]

Not yet.

[John Holmberg]

You think they're going to keep it under. They always say John's crazy. I've noticed that. When it's like, oh, this happened. They're like, oh, John's crazy. Plenty of grandma's had lobotomies and passed away a couple years ago.

[Chris]

We haven't heard that one yet. Now, if we hear that one, then I'm like, okay.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's crazy. You mean you're comfortable with Uncle Jack sleeping with. With the landscape? Oh, they were just having a nap. He got married a few years later. Yeah, because it was. You know, those were the olden times when if you were gay out loud, you got drugged behind a truck. He wasn't gonna make that loud. He got married to cover up your other family member that got married and had babies with the other guy. And they just. The kids just found out that the doctor was the real dad.

[Chris]

That Was Jack's wife.

[John Holmberg]

That right? Jack was a homosexual, and his wife got pregnant by someone else.

[Chris]

That's why I was, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Chris]

She was a nurse, and it was the doctor that she worked.

[John Holmberg]

Jack wasn't having sex with her. They had an arrangement. She got knocked up by the doctor, and Jack's like, this is great. My beard looks incredible right now. You're putting babies out. We'll just call them mine. Okay, Jack, I'm gonna go blow a guy. Do you mind? I have no interest in you and these kids. This is gross.

[Chris]

He kept that cover for a long time because, you know, got remarried two more times after.

[John Holmberg]

Look, he came from a generation where that's what you did. Uncle Jack dabbled with the ball sacks. There's nothing wrong with that.

[Chris]

Now, back then, he would have been both ways, or the next two wives were the same thing. They just wanted the companion beards.

[John Holmberg]

Plenty of women were beards back in there. And it also was a time when women who were unmarried, in their 40s were old maids. It looked bad. So they found a guy, showed him some interest, and gave him some interest.

[Chris]

That would have been in the 70s, 80s.

[John Holmberg]

Their generation didn't change.

[Chris]

He picked wisely.

[John Holmberg]

Look, if you watch Brokeback Mountain, they were married. They were hiding something. That's the truest of true tales. That's why Brokeback Mountain resonated so well with people. It's like, my God, he had to pretend to be something he wasn't to the point of actually faking a marriage. And the wives knew.

[Chris]

Jack always did go on a trip once. No, I'm just kidding.

[John Holmberg]

I bet he did. I bet he had a couple hunting trips. That Jack hunts. Sure.

[Chris]

Heading out to the West.

[John Holmberg]

God damn it, if I had a time machine, I'd go to your house, screw Hitler. Not screw Hitler at Brady's house. You know what I mean? Like, period.

[Brady]

I wouldn't die.

[John Holmberg]

You never know. Jesus. They probably had Hitler in the attic for a while. Just shush, shush, shush. Thank you, Tom and Bunny, for keeping me here. We'll keep you safe there, Adolph. Don't worry about it. I gotta go to Cuba for a little bit.

[Brady]

He thought he was in South America.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Charlie Chaplin, can you come out and play? Just. That's right, little boy. I am Charlie Chaplin. Tell all of your friends you met Charlie Chaplin today. Can you imagine? Brady just swings the door open to the bathroom and there's Hitler taking a piss. Yeah. Get out, little boy. Ah, Charlie Chaplin's dick. That's right. You saw Charlie Chaplin's dick? Yeah, it was a exchange program with some German kid. He had bleached blonde hair. You gotta ask questions. Ask just for the sake of Brett.

[Chris]

And I. Yeah, I'll get more details.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. Ask questions like, was Hitler ever at our house? Just make sure. Why not? At this point, it's possible. Go ahead. What do you got?

[Brady]

All right. Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. A little overcast today. Time to hit the trails. And no better place to get that bike serviced. Or if you don't have a biking, go rent one too. They got a full rental fleet as well. Solid. Action Ride Shop, Power Road and McDowell. Brand new location. Or go to the old school one right there on Gilbert Road. And Southern Josh and the boys are going to take care of you.

[John Holmberg]

Actionrightshop.com this guy says it's a Midwest thing. I also have a family similar to that. He said my uncle was married and had a beautiful wife. They got divorced. We never talked about the old aunt anymore. And then Uncle Gary starts hanging around this other guy named Gary. Next thing you know, Gary's at his house almost all the time. And some of Gary's stuff's in there. Time goes by. Next thing you know, I have two Uncle Gary's. They're asking me to call him Uncle Gary and occasionally jokingly, Aunt Gary. I never asked any questions. Family didn't speak about it much more than that. I was about 10. Never thought about it. And then when we got older, I'm like, holy, Gary was a homosexual. That guy he was with all the time was his husband. They weren't just golfing every day. They were in love. That's awesome. I've got drug addicts and lunacy, but no lobotomies or hookers. That's pretty awesome, man. I never saw my aunt's breasts on purpose. She bent over once and I got a glimpse of one and I started crying. It was like four. It was weird.

[Brady]

All right, on the list, Metallica, AC DC Slayer, Avenged, Sevenfold, Beastie Boys, Kill Switch, Engage Parkway Drive Damage plan. But Jerry Cantrell's in town tonight over at the Marquee, so I figured.

[John Holmberg]

Great song. Dickeye by Cantrell. And he's at the Marquee Theater tonight. Was it like six months, seven months ago? He was playing over at the the Nile in Mesa. Yeah.

[Brady]

And before that he was with. Was it Bush and Candle Box?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right. I forgot he opened that one.

[Brady]

He's been here a lot.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, it's gonna maybe look for some real. I'll get Doug Hopkins to call Jerry, and we'll get him here permanent. We'll get him in a little place. But Dickeyes are. Great song. Do you have it?

[Brady]

I'll pull it.

[John Holmberg]

Load that up, Dick. Guys, I forget. That's his first solo album. Yeah.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Brady]

First track on it, too.

[John Holmberg]

That was a great song. And Jerry Cantrell are rolling out there. That was after Lane died. Yeah, right.

[Brady]

I believe so.

[John Holmberg]

Or.

[Brady]

Or Lane was still alive, but they weren't doing anything.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It was in that time when Allison change was like, what's going on? Yeah. Jerry Cantrell put this out. This album was fantastic. And it was stuff that you kind of hear where Lane would go. Yeah. Like, that's what I loved about this album the most, is that it's Jerry. And you realize Jerry was the nuts and bolts of Alice in Chains because of this album. Was like, oh, I get it. He just needs that second guided drone along with him and do that weird harmony. And it's not there, but you can hear where it goes. This is Dick act. Great stuff. Jerry Cantrell tonight at the Marquis Theater. Head on over there. Tickets still available, and that would be a great place to go see him. I don't know if he's doing Alice in Chain stuff or not, though.

[Brady]

Four or five tracks. I looked at the set list.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty cool. All right. It's Cantrell. It's your Wake up song. It's 98.

[Chris]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.