08-20-25 - BR - WED - w/Frank Caliendo - Man Orders Multiple Anvils On Amazon Just To Return Them

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness - 08-20-25 (Wed)

Special Guest: Frank Caliendo
Main Theme:
A raucous Arizona-flavored morning featuring comedian Frank Caliendo, riffing on everything from the quirks of the collapsing radio industry to bizarre Amazon purchases, and spiraling into wild video reactions, local news oddities, and the anatomy of modern media stupidity.

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1. Opening Banter & Frank’s Local Ties

• [01:16] Frank Caliendo joins the show, introduced as a local and "officially a fella," performing at Desert Ridge Improv that weekend.
  • Holmberg: “You’re officially a local guy.”
  • Brady: “And a fella. Officially.”
• The team teases Frank, joking about supporting local comedy and imagining a sex robot raffle at his shows.

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2. The State of Radio & Media Evolution

• [03:04] - [06:07]
  • Lamentation over National Radio Day and the apparent "death spiral" of the industry.
  • Brady: “Maybe the last one. As the executives… continue to chop away at the moorings…”
  • John blames radio’s decline on executives with cookie-cutter ideas:
    • [03:30] John: “Too many chefs in the kitchen giving too many bad ideas that worked in one place. It’s not one size fits all.”
  • Only three hosts ever succeeded nationally: Stern, Rush Limbaugh, Dave Ramsey.
    • Brady: “Dave Ramsey just runs an infomercial nobody listens to.”
  • The team pokes fun at media’s misunderstanding of localized success and their failure to let shows grow organically.
    • Reference to "Suits" finding new life thanks to streaming.
    • Podcasts’ global niche appeal: “People in different countries listening to Bobby Lee right now.”

Quote Highlight:

• [03:57] Brady: “The media of radio is the locality. Yes. And when you try to steal that from it...”

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3. Random Facts & Astrology Riffing

• [07:20] - [09:12]
  • Frank delivers odd trivia (e.g., Taco Bell started as a hot dog stand).
  • Korean fairy tales: “In the old days when tigers used to smoke.”
  • (Astrology Debunked)
    • Study: No astrological sign correlates to marriage success.
    • Brady: “That’s right. Because it’s not real.”
    • The crew riffs on Sedona crystals and “vortex” tourism.
    • John jokes about being accused of pushing his wife off a cliff at the Sedona vortex.

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4. Feature Story: Multiple Anvil Orders on Amazon

• [09:13] - [10:59]
  • Man orders and returns ten 110-lb Acme anvils from Amazon “just to make the workers miserable,” showing off his order history on TikTok.
  • Brady’s take: “For free, just to make the workers miserable.”
  • The man trolls critics by posting Obama’s address as his own.
  • Jokes that journalists asked what anvils are for: “Dropping on roadrunners.”
• Amazon Still Sells Anvils…
  • The cast is shocked that one can buy an anvil online.
  • They roast the absurdity of needing a new anvil: “Normally people who need an anvil start with the anvil.”
  • [12:08] Brady: “I think anvils come with it… look at that, different color anvils, you want to be a sassy anvil owner.”

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5. Fun with (and Disgust at) Bizarre Video Clips

• [19:46] - [28:30]
  • Variety of viral and graphic videos, escalating from TikTok fails to explicit content.
    • [19:46] Frank: “First one’s a TikTok fail.” (girl twerking, phone drops)
    • [20:40] Frank: “Father get the hang.” (Dad gives loaded handgun to toddler, who shoots him)
    • [21:27] Frank: “This last one has some cussing in it.” (student fighting teacher, wild crowd)
    • Series of shocking and explicit videos, with escalating reactions from disgust to humor.
  • Frequent meta-commentary about the absurdity and normalization of viral content:
    • Brady: “You can do that at home. You get a good enough one, they’ll let you do that.”
    • John: “That thing could take a Louisville Slugger, man.”

Notable Quote:

• [23:05] John: “That is the dream of every junior high and high school resource officer: to body slam one of those pricks.”

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6. Local & Offbeat News Highlights

• [13:37] - [16:13]
  • FDA warning: Don’t eat Walmart’s Great Value raw frozen shrimp due to possible radioactive contamination (cesium-137).
  • Florida mom packs a handgun in child's backpack as a custody feint:
    • Brady: “Here’s your pencils, your Trapper Keeper, and your Glock… woof. That’s brutal.”
  • Missouri: Truck with 40,000 lbs. of ribeye steaks catches fire.
    • Brady pretends he’s there as the “cleanup crew.”
  • Wild, stereotypical street scene observed from studio window:
    • Brady: “Black guy running as fast as he can, dribbling a basketball… now a Chinese guy in a rickshaw…”

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7. Running Jokes, Outrageous Bits & Ending Riff

• The group frequently riffs irreverently on local Arizona culture, internet behaviors, and physical humor—especially around the anvil story, turning it into an absurd sex-toy bit and drawing wacky parallels to sports drafts.
  • [30:21] Brady (mock-draft voice): “Mel Kuiper’s horror draft 2025. This would only cost a dollar. Mel, what do you think of her work?”
  • [30:30] John (analyst voice): “Tremendous value. Low ceiling—you know, high ceiling, low metrics. Incredible. At the combine took 114 inches…”
• Explicit content disclaimer:
  • As usual, the team dances gleefully past the boundaries of taste, with explicit sexual and bodily humor, culminating in extreme video descriptions and a persistent eye for the grotesque in American culture.

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Memorable Quotes

• [03:57] Brady: “The media of radio is the locality. Yes. And when you try to steal that from it…”
• [09:00] Brady: “Nobody tries to push their wife off and fails. You either do it or you don’t.”
• [12:08] Brady: “You want to be a sassy anvil owner.”
• [23:05] John: “That is the dream of every junior high and high school resource officer: to body slam one of those pricks.”

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Timestamps for Notable Segments

• [01:16] — Frank Caliendo intro & Arizona comedy plug
• [03:04 - 06:07] — State of radio/media industry
• [07:20 - 09:12] — Factoids & astrology jokes
• [09:13 - 10:59] — Amazon anvil prank story
• [13:37 - 16:13] — News: radioactive shrimp, gun in backpack, ribeye fire
• [19:46 - 28:30] — Wild viral and explicit video reactions
• [30:21] — Mock horror draft riff (absurd sports-analyst style)

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Summary Tone and Style

The entire episode blends quick wit, local color, dark humor, and irreverent digs at pop culture, with the guests and hosts bouncing off each other in a manner that's both engagingly abrasive and unmistakably “morning radio.” Frank Caliendo’s improvisational energy fits right in, amplifying the show's trademark chaos.

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For listeners:
This is an hour of relentless banter, insider Arizona jokes, bonkers viral news, and jarring comedic visuals, with a sharp satirical edge about the decline of “old” media and the rise of absurdity in the internet era. It's not for the faint of heart, but absolutely signature Holmberg.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Brady Bogan]

It's John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the core. He's not going to be back on the court immediately, but in a few months time he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain you've been living with the Core Institute celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do again. Go to the core institute.com I'm here on the job site with Dale, who's a framing contractor. Hey, good morning. Dale traded up to Geico Commercial Auto Insurance for all his business vehicles. We're here where he needs us most.

[John Holmberg]

Yep, they sure are.

[Brady Bogan]

We make it easy for him to save on all his insurance needs, all in one place with coverage that fits his business and bottom line.

[Frank Calando]

Oh, I shouldn't have looked down.

[John Holmberg]

It's all right.

[Brady Bogan]

We're so far up here.

[John Holmberg]

Look at me. Take a deep breath.

[Brady Bogan]

No, I'm good. So good. Get commercial auto insurance quote [e-mail] and see how much you could save. Get more with Geico Morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, he's not.

[Brady Bogan]

He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. We have Frank Calando joining us this morning hanging out. He's at the Desert Ridge Improv this weekend. Desert Ridge improv.com you want to go see our friend Frank and support one of the arms of the show that comes in every once in a while, A local fella. Yeah, you're officially a local guy.

[John Holmberg]

And a fella.

[Brady Bogan]

And a fella. Officially. Finally, Bob. Fella. You got it. But yeah, that's, you know, support local comedy, I guess.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, why not, right?

[Brady Bogan]

It's up and comers gonna be over at Desert Ridge and you can get in there. Desertridgeimprov.com you sit there giving away a sex robot that looks just like your wife. Phenomenal. All of our dreams get.

[John Holmberg]

Ruin it.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, okay. It's a raccoon, right? You're always better.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Sex furries at Frank show We'll sit through the Brady Report. Yeah, right. You get to watch the videos with us today, which is fun. Do them every day. And then afterwards we'll let you just have the show for 30 minutes. How's that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, whatever.

[Brady Bogan]

Is that okay?

[John Holmberg]

I don't really want to.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, yeah, we do. Oh, you're our guest. Yeah. We're going to take off for a little. We're going to last on Her Mind and a couple meetings. I need you to come in here and let Frank take over for a minute.

[John Holmberg]

I just want to hang out.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. All right. Well, it's time for. Don't do that. Just give you your turn, big fella.

[Frank Calando]

Give me the guns.

[Brady Bogan]

It's time now for all the news that only Brady knows. We call that the Brady Report. And it's brought to you by our friends at allpro shade. Allprochade.com 20 years of doing the best shading in the business. They'll put one of those shades up at your house. Electric or manual, you choose it. And it is a beautiful thing that adds property value and glory to your home. And it drops the temps up to 20 degrees. Get it done. Allprochade.com Brady reported.

[Frank Calando]

Good. Wednesday morning, Chief Phoenix. Hello, world.

[Brady Bogan]

Hi.

[Frank Calando]

Happy National Radio Day.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, maybe the last one. As the executives in this business continue to chop away at the moorings to destroy this incredible thing. But we're still hanging in there.

[Frank Calando]

Frank, couple of bases.

[Brady Bogan]

Do you find that across the country that you see radio in its death spiral?

[John Holmberg]

I hear about it from all the hosts.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's usually because of what they feel. And I tend to agree. Too many chefs in the kitchen giving too many bad ideas that worked in one place. It's not one size fits all. Whatever works in San Diego, California, doesn't work in Phoenix, Arizona. It's not the same thing. You can't just create. People are different. The glory of different.

[Brady Bogan]

The media of radio is the locality. Yes. And when you try to steal that from it. And there's been three people who have had success on radio. Stern, Rush Limbaugh and Dave Ramsey. Those are the three that can be everywhere all the time, that are like, okay, and Dave Ramsey just runs an infomercial nobody listens to. No.

[John Holmberg]

Three of them debt free.

[Brady Bogan]

That's right. They did their debt free screams. I gotta tell you what, Dave. I did a debt free scream the other day. Beth finally. Finally got her off the Amazon. Ramsey and debt free.

[John Holmberg]

See, I think what they do is they make. They make force correlations. So they'll take podcasts and what works for podcasts and go, we need to apply this to radio. And you're like, no. The reason that podcast has as many viewers as it does is because there are people in different countries listening to Bobby Lee right now.

[Brady Bogan]

Unbelievable. That one doesn't make any sense. Yeah. He's fun.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And Andrew, what's an Anderson Santini or the Great Santini? He is like, what he does to Bobby is what makes that brilliant. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

But the fun of it is, is that would never work because radio executives would not see that working. Right. So they would say, oh, I don't know, this is not going to be a thing.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, it took. It took seven, eight years for it to become what it is, and then it became massive.

[Brady Bogan]

But everything that's the opposite of what these television to executives see is working.

[John Holmberg]

Because they almost canceled Seinfeld.

[Brady Bogan]

Exactly. Because there's nobody overlording it. So it has a chance to block.

[John Holmberg]

Just take a. Take a look at the. The show suits, which in its first run didn't do that. Well, then on. What's it on Netflix.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Whatever it was, whatever it became came on, people started watching it almost as though it were reruns. And it was like it was new to them. Some people didn't even know that way.

[Brady Bogan]

It had been out for six years.

[Frank Calando]

Four years, I think, when I.

[John Holmberg]

Crazy.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, so it's now that you can watch things after the fact or listen to things after the fact. They can grow. The old school situation was you did it once and it was done.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, now things can build an audience over time. If you're willing to put that much time into it. It's just hard to put that much time into.

[Brady Bogan]

You have to put the time in. It's weird, though. Yeah. But you only pick shows in cities that are succeeding. Not the cities, but the shows. Like, you go to. Like, you're going to Pittsburgh, you're going to Bauman.

[Frank Calando]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You go to a couple around it just to, you know, answer, like, you.

[Brady Bogan]

Have it just to cover, like, whoever's winning. Like, you're not going to be dumb enough to go, okay, wherever you put me, you know, you keep an eye on.

[John Holmberg]

I go. I go. I'm going to go to the Sports Nation show. I'm going to go to the main shows first, and I'm going to pick that. If they'll have me on drive time, that's what I'm doing it. Everything else can be around that. So if you're going to put me on the lady station. I'll do it because you buy advertising there all the time. Whatever. It's not going to do that great for me. Yeah, but I'll do it. But put me on at 9:15, 9:30.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Not at 7:00 o' clock when I could be on the big show where they play the Steelers games.

[Brady Bogan]

No, that's a. I wish.

[John Holmberg]

That's a. I think you just had a robot.

[Brady Bogan]

I did Rogasm. The Randy Bauman's the only job in radio that I want.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I told him. I'll tell him.

[Brady Bogan]

I would kill him. No, he's great. He does a great job. Him and Elliot and D.C. yep. Great guys. And I haven't been on Elliot in years. Go over there. Sorry. Brie, go ahead.

[Frank Calando]

Taco Bell originally started as a hot dog stand called Bell's Drive In.

[John Holmberg]

No, it didn't. I'm just going to deny everything he says.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I thought. Well there's a good chance we do that every day with his facts instead.

[Frank Calando]

Of once upon a time Korean fairy tales usually start with in the old days when tigers used to smoke.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, that one's probably not true. A study of you didn't look further into that. Why did tigers used to smoke in Korea?

[Frank Calando]

Yeah, let's call Bobby. They loved it.

[Brady Bogan]

No, take your shirt off. Bobby. I've got a question.

[Frank Calando]

A study of try to prove you're strict impossible. A study of 20 million married couples.

[John Holmberg]

Couples I know.

[Frank Calando]

I like copies found no astrological signs are more likely to wind up with any other astrological sign.

[Brady Bogan]

That's right. Because it's not real. Are you a believer of astrology?

[John Holmberg]

I'm going to start to from. Is that right of this bit?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. It's not a bit.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

I want it to be question to a man.

[John Holmberg]

I wanted to. What would my wife.

[Brady Bogan]

You have a. Is she an astrology person? Oh, there's a little of that though.

[John Holmberg]

Just rocks from Sedona, I think.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, she's. Oh no.

[Frank Calando]

Yeah, some crystals.

[Brady Bogan]

Sign one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, crystals.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a few signs.

[John Holmberg]

Crystal meth, I believe.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, is that the one Crystal she likes? Yeah, she brings the crystals back and gives them fake powers. Yeah, well, they had some powers, yeah. Is she taking on any sort of. Does she ever go to the vortex in Sedona?

[John Holmberg]

We went to the vortex.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We also went on that cliff and she. She said I tried to push her off.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you? Okay.

[John Holmberg]

We went there for our anniversary a few years ago.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh yeah, she's still here. So you didn't try to Push her.

[John Holmberg]

Off because no, she did claim I did, but I.

[Brady Bogan]

But you know how I'd know if you tried, she wouldn't be able to talk about it, Right, because you'd have pushed her off. Nobody tries to push their wife off and fails. Yeah, you either do it or you don't. Right, Brett? You don't know what you're talking about. My own.

[Frank Calando]

A few weeks ago, a man named John Stockwell on Tik Tok claimed he'd been repeatedly ordering 110 pound cast iron anvils from Amazon from the Acme and immediately return them. The anvils cost more than $225 each. But with his prime account, John has them shipped and he'd ship them back.

[Brady Bogan]

For free just to make the workers miserable.

[Frank Calando]

Yeah, he shows his Amazon order. Page scrolls down. Prick shows 10 anvil order said there. It's unclear why he's doing this for the past six months.

[Brady Bogan]

In the time it takes you to actually board that flight. From Group 8, now boarding Premier Altitude Elite club members. You could have bought a Hyundai on Amazon. Yes, that Amazon, where you buy everything else. Mid tier Altitude Elite. Feel free to board now. So while you're waiting for them to make up new boarding groups, you can order your dream car and the dealer will have it ready in no time. Now boarding groups one through seven.

[Frank Calando]

So close.

[Brady Bogan]

Visit Hyundai USA.com or call 562-314-4603 for more details. Limited availability pick up through participating Hyundai dealer and select markets.

[John Holmberg]

Homberg's morning sickness also has pet coyotes.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Frank Calando]

He does joke about that, but he says, I'm going to keep doing this until somebody does something about it. And then some commenters were criticizing him, call him a bad person. And he responds, he laughs at him. And on the video he says, the haters want to come over to my house. And he puts his address up. It's Barack Obama's address.

[Brady Bogan]

Does it say mud at all anywhere in the address? My name is mud. Yeah.

[Frank Calando]

He also talked about how the media reached out to him and he jokes around that they asked him, asked him what anvils are used for and he says dropping on roadrunners.

[Brady Bogan]

So he did go that route. He got it from that. Not from blacksmithing or anything, actually.

[Frank Calando]

Just wants to make Amazon still making.

[Brady Bogan]

Anvils enough that you can order them on Amazon.

[Frank Calando]

110 pounds.

[John Holmberg]

I think that ended with Iron Man 1.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I think that's it stopped it. He didn't need that anymore. And also, hmm. If you need an anvil, don't you already have one? Like, people don't, like, go, you know, what's missing from this is like, I was putting a tv. Yeah. I, I, I, I hung a TV on a wall and I put the mount up, and I needed a couple of things, and I ordered some bolts. Amazon delivered some bolts that would fit the TV mount.

[Frank Calando]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

But if I was doing some work around the house and an anvil was necessary, I'm not gonna go, ah, I got an Amazon. One of those. Normally people who have a need for anvil start with the anvil. Right.

[John Holmberg]

You think they're born into an anvil?

[Brady Bogan]

I think you. Yeah, I think anvils come with it, is what I'm saying. Be big money. Look how many Amazon carries. Look at that. They're different color anvils because you want to be. Wow. A sassy anvil owner.

[Frank Calando]

Sassy.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. The blue one. Look at the blue one. That's like a sex toy. Yeah, yeah.

[Frank Calando]

Brett's gonna have that video.

[John Holmberg]

Some of them look like bird heads.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. 132. There you go again. What's the matter with you? Can you bang them, paint little eyes on it, and then drill a hole in the back? Yeah, they're kind of like a toucan breaking out of a. Like a toaster. Interesting. And I never knew you could just get them on Amazon. For people who are like, you know, what I want to do is more work with an anvil, but I don't have one. Does an old anvil go bad? Once you have one, you've got one for life, right?

[Frank Calando]

Yeah. I mean, there could be some scratches on it, maybe the top surface, but I don't think so. You're. You're pounding, you know, you're shoeing horses. You're smithing.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, you're smith. You're doing some smithing, man. But you've got your anvil.

[Frank Calando]

Most times, people buy, you know, like, you're. The anvil is there. Like, that's what people just bother to move.

[Brady Bogan]

You have it?

[Frank Calando]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

So I think it's the chicken in the egg. Grandfathered into homes and. Yeah.

[Frank Calando]

I don't know. I, I, My house, in guilt when I bought it, had a big clamp.

[Brady Bogan]

One of those vice clamps for your grandma's head.

[Frank Calando]

Oh, vice. A vice. Yeah, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

That was just to keep grandma, you know, she started running around a little.

[Frank Calando]

Bit, clamping her hands. They left it.

[Brady Bogan]

You know how he dodgy. He deflects those moments because he probably went down there and saw grandma in a vice for A little bit.

[Frank Calando]

Hopefully he scraped it for DNA.

[Brady Bogan]

Papalad just thought I was getting a little rambunctious, so he viced me.

[Frank Calando]

It's straightened Ronnie a little bit. Straightens her out.

[Brady Bogan]

You put her in the vice?

[Frank Calando]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You learned from Grandpa?

[Frank Calando]

Yeah. From the past couple years. I think it's the other way around. I think Ronnie puts your hand in there.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. I don't think you. My point being. Anvil talk ending. It's not like a pool table. You don't get one and learn pool. You have an anvil and you learn anvil stuff. You don't desire an anvil.

[Frank Calando]

And your dad might leave you an anvil.

[Brady Bogan]

No, he does.

[John Holmberg]

There is definitely a parallel to Pulp Fiction here somewhere.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a Tarantino movie.

[Frank Calando]

Five years.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Frank Calando]

And the quietest one in the room.

[Brady Bogan]

Is Brett because he knows anvil in my ass for five years.

[Frank Calando]

The Food and Drug Administration is warning Americans not to eat, sell or serve Walmart's great value raw frozen shrimp.

[Brady Bogan]

Does that go without saying.

[John Holmberg]

Raw frozen shrimp.

[Frank Calando]

Possible contamination.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[Frank Calando]

Of cesium 137, which is A. Radioactive.

[Brady Bogan]

Radioactive shrimp. From India. Here we go. From India. I heard that this morning. Indian shrimp.

[Frank Calando]

Bullpol Shrimp.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Nuclear shrimp. Jesus. By the way, Ronnie just text me and said she's ordered six anvils for. In case you don't make it through next Tuesday, because she's going to use them as a body pillow to make you feel like you're still there.

[Frank Calando]

You see, we've got this Florida woman who's facing charges after she packed a handgun in her child's book bag during the first week of classes. Dropped them off and says she said she put it in there to hand to her dad. They're divorced.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh.

[Frank Calando]

So basically the kid went to school with a backpack with a gun in.

[Brady Bogan]

It, and this is a. She's gonna try to blame the dad.

[Frank Calando]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. No, Maryville High, they don't care. They don't check those book bags.

[Frank Calando]

It backfired a little.

[Brady Bogan]

The gun?

[Frank Calando]

Gun didn't go off, but she's in trouble.

[Brady Bogan]

Wow. Man. Trying to get him sent to jail for that and using the kid as a prop. Here's your pencils, your Trapper Keeper, and your Glock. Don't look in your bag. Your dad packed it, by the way, if anyone asks. Woof. That's brutal.

[Frank Calando]

We had tragedy strike Doolittle, Missouri. A tractor trailer carrying £40,000 of ribeye steaks caught fire Monday morning on Interstate 45.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a barbecue. Yeah.

[Frank Calando]

That's what they're called?

[Brady Bogan]

Did you not know about this? Why are you here?

[Frank Calando]

Too late now.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I heard about it. I better go do some on scene investigation.

[John Holmberg]

Too far away, Brady.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm Brady Bogan, investigative reporter. I'd like to take a look at this freeway spill, if you don't mind. These road stakes look like somebody needs. I'm the cleanup crew.

[Frank Calando]

There's just.

[John Holmberg]

Any sauce.

[Brady Bogan]

They only sent one of you. Does anybody have any sauce? Kicks him out of his holster. Well, anything missing here? A little fire. Looks like we're gonna have to close these roads and light it up. I'm seeing the most stereotypical thing I've ever seen in my life out the window.

[Frank Calando]

What you got?

[Brady Bogan]

Black guy running as fast as he can, dribbling a basketball at 50 seconds. Like we can't have that with Brett in the room.

[Frank Calando]

Why would you point that out there?

[Brady Bogan]

You can't not point it out. Why is he doing that? There's no basketball courts within miles of this place. Did you just mentally. Did you just mentally conjure that image to run up the street? Damn you, Brett. And he's in a sweatshirt.

[Frank Calando]

You don't think he's heading to the National Guard?

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe they got a basketball hoop over there?

[Frank Calando]

I think so.

[Brady Bogan]

That was just awful. Oh, God. There's a Chinese guy. There's a rickshaw. What is happening on 52nd street again? There's a plumber just threw a turtle at a guy and. Oh, my God.

[Frank Calando]

26 year old Alton Oliver was on trial in Georgia last week facing murder charges. He was accused of killing an off duty cop in 2022, but claimed it was self defense. The trial lasted three days, wrapped up on Friday after the jury quickly came back with a verdict. They handed it to the judge, everyone was on the edge of their seat, and I guess we got.

[Brady Bogan]

I won't spoil the video.

[Frank Calando]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Please hand this to case council and pass it over.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, what?

[Frank Calando]

You already read it.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, we read the. Hang on. We the jury find the defendant guilty as to all six counts of the bill of indictment, Sheriff. And please hand this to council. Wait, what the jury is saying. Hold on. What? Didn't I say not. No, he said guilty. Was supposed to say not guilty. Six counts. Oh, man.

[Frank Calando]

And watch what he calls up.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't shush the judge from my mispronunciation. Mispronunciation? Christ. Hey, Judge Brady. Hey, Judge Brady. That wasn't a mis. He's just a white guy so used to saying guilty when he sees two black people in court. I think That's Michael Che, isn't it? That's the guy from snl. Man, talk about tightening your butt pretty hard at the. Ain't that a. I thought we won. We did. Judge still says you're guilty and must have done something wrong.

[Frank Calando]

Got a couple of pretty videos to.

[Brady Bogan]

Judge for a reason. He knows what he's doing. That's terrifying.

[Frank Calando]

First one's a tick tock fail.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, it's a hot girl in a. In a pool and a song. And she's. She's watching glass twerking. And she looks great doing it. Well, her phone went in the wall. Her video went into the water. That's it, Brady. This was it. Okay. All right. There's Brady.

[Frank Calando]

I wanted you to enjoy the twerking part of it.

[Brady Bogan]

Brady. I have porn. I don't need that stuff. Something awesome had to happen. Really racy to breathe. Yeah, that was like.

[John Holmberg]

What the heck was that?

[Brady Bogan]

You guys aren't gonna exactly. Hopped in the water.

[Frank Calando]

TikTok failed.

[Brady Bogan]

Like Carson Levels. I expected like something horrible to happen. Or at least something sexual.

[Frank Calando]

All right, well try this one.

[Brady Bogan]

A hot girl's butt shaking. That's called the Internet. I don't need that. All right, try this.

[Frank Calando]

Father get the hang.

[Brady Bogan]

He's got a handgun. He hands it to a kid. He's at some sort of like reception or something. Kids. Oh, he shot his dad right in the tummy. Cuz he gave a gun to a two year old. My goodness. Oh God. Is there a guy in a Steelers jersey?

[Frank Calando]

Kid, I think. Isn't it?

[Brady Bogan]

No, he's not in a Steelers jersey.

[John Holmberg]

It again.

[Brady Bogan]

Might be tj. Tj? W. I think he swear he's. He's riding the tj. Antonio Brown. It's an old one. He's got a name. Well, that makes sense. Maybe that's AB's. Like. There's a get together for AB's new rap release. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Frank Calando]

This last one has some cussing in it. So.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay. I'll be careful.

[Frank Calando]

So much. But it's a kid in high school and he's getting in the face of a teacher.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay. At an assembly. And he's in his face and they're yelling and the kids are filming it. Nobody's trying to help the teacher or the kid. They just sit and film it. Hands off. The boy in the hat is yelling. He's in the teacher's face. Teacher tries to push him away. Kid knocks his head. Oh, he takes a swing. Little right hand like the shaggy da. Oh. The teacher holds his arm. Cuz he can't hit a kid. But he wants to. They're down. They're down on the court now in front of everyone. Still no one really helping from the crowd. Another teacher has the boy. He's got something in his backpack. This is not gonna end well. Oh, his pants are coming in. Boy. The other teacher that could be stopping this is allowing it to continue.

[Frank Calando]

Now here comes the office.

[Brady Bogan]

The cop comes and puts the kid on his head. Nice. Why didn't the first guy knock him out? Because you're a teacher. You can't hit the kids. But the cops can.

[Frank Calando]

You can see he's walking down. As he's dragging the kid down, he's walking away. He kind of smiles like, oh, wow. He's not really hurt.

[Brady Bogan]

He's like a 14 year old, but still he's taking a swing. His lesson got learned. That's the home of the zebras.

[John Holmberg]

They needed a zebra. Zebra on that one.

[Brady Bogan]

What is a referee? Like a real one? Like. What is it again? You with the animals. For what, Frank?

[John Holmberg]

Whatever they need.

[Frank Calando]

Here we go.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, this dude has been. By the way, that kid's not going back to class that day. They've had that. Resource officer's been dying to do that to kids for years.

[Frank Calando]

Comment on there. If you don't have a father, one.

[John Holmberg]

Will be provided for you.

[Brady Bogan]

That is the dream of every junior high and high school resource officer. It's to body slam one of those pricks. Finally, one of the kids is fighting A teacher spits out all his lunch and runs to that. I have not been this excited for anything. It was already over too. There was no need for it. But we all enjoyed it. Every kid deserves a slam now and again. Brett. What do you got? Scare Frank. They're not too bad today. Yeah, we'll start off easy. All right. Yeah. Brock and Big Mike is showing rivers. All right. Some drunk. Some drunk broad. The lady getting questioned. Body camera. Excuse me.

[John Holmberg]

No, she's a robot lady.

[Frank Calando]

You look hot.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, she's trying to. Oh, there she is. So they cut directly to her after arrest. And her shirt's off in the. She's about to go into it. All right. That was nothing too. Come on.

[Frank Calando]

What in the world?

[Brady Bogan]

Come on. That was worse than Brady. Okay, no problem. All right.

[Frank Calando]

Unbelievable. That's embarrassing.

[Brady Bogan]

The danger of telling Brett he did an embarrassment. Come on, he's setting you up. We're speed bagging a set of nuts here. There's two girls. Talk about the shaggy D.A. this dude's got a Beanbag like me. And there are women who seem to know what they're doing with a speed bag, by the way, they had good technique.

[Frank Calando]

They practiced.

[Brady Bogan]

Holy Christ. All right, all right. How about some fist bumping? Another naked lady. Lady with her fist. So deep.

[Frank Calando]

Ready, you prick.

[Brady Bogan]

Take that. Twerk in the water. Wow. Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

That can't be real.

[Brady Bogan]

You can do that at home. You get a good enough one, they'll let you do that and. Yeah, and then they got that. Yeah, okay, that's real. And we'll.

[John Holmberg]

We'll end belly dancing without using your own muscles.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, you're using muscles already. We'll end with this one. Jesus. I'm sorry. I turned that up. There we go. All right. There's a finger in a urethra. Oh, my God. There's a ring finger going inside a urethra. And a penis all the way. All the way. And it's popping over the knuckle. Oh. Oh, my God. It's his own finger, as it turns out. I thought someone else was doing this. And he didn't glove up, which is like that. He's. This penis has been through a lot. Oh, my God. Knock it off.

[John Holmberg]

That thing could take a Louisville Slugger, man.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, it made him finish too. I never saw the ending. Finish me. We could show Frank the one from yesterday. Okay. Yeah. This is going on in a city of 5 million people. My guess is that there's a certain percentage that are doing this probably as we speak. Right? It's a big city.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, this is.

[Brady Bogan]

So this lady's out there right now. Somebody else has this going on too. And then it turns into cubert. Something in this girl's butt. And then it turns into Cuber. Wow. We don't know what it is, but her butt is. Now it's about 4 inches out of her. And then it looks a Magic 8 ball. No. Wait till you see what comes out.

[John Holmberg]

And there's the insides.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, look, Frank, Look. It's not over. There's more. There's more to come. More to come. So to speak. Like when. When Carson used to go to break. More to come.

[John Holmberg]

Holding back.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, you gotta. You got one on deck there, Frankie. It's new to the party. Those are pretty tough to hit a guy with. First day.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta make noises to stop. From the noises actually happening.

[Brady Bogan]

We're numb to it. I've thrown up twice. One was watching an Asian. I can't get. It was just an Asia and lady eating flies off of fly paper, not fries. Not Asian flies. They were Real flies off. All right. No. Oh, wait a minute. Hold it, hold it. I just had a late entry. Literally.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brady Bogan]

One more from our anvil conversation. Oh, there's a lady with an anvil, and she is using it as a sex toy. Oh, yeah, look at that. There's two of them in a field. Like when you have an anvil, you.

[John Holmberg]

Know, you can't even make a. No wonder there's something without it being real.

[Brady Bogan]

Look, that's real.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I did.

[Brady Bogan]

That's in her bottom, too. That's her butt.

[Frank Calando]

Is that smithing?

[Brady Bogan]

And then the other one doesn't even wipe it. Oh, they're licking the anvil after I was in her. God. Pigs. Another kissing each other. Oh, my God. Where is this field? Oh, my gosh. Another lady. Now we've moved on to a lady who's orally pleasing a fella. And that. Probably that same anvil field. We were just. There's that other girl that was on the anvil. She's now got. She's got something going on with WNBA toy, and she's playing WNBA with the. With the bottom of a girl, and they're doing all sorts of stuff to her and she's. She's performing. Well, no, we've cut to another scene now. There's a lot going on in this one. Where's that? Okay, there's a girl on her side, a girl in her front, a guy from behind. Another guy. I've got another guy just showed up. Well, wouldn't you. I'd pull over if I saw this on the side of the road.

[John Holmberg]

The most important thing is you can download the full video for only $1.

[Brady Bogan]

That's right. Well, they got to make money. They're professionals. Frank, come on. For a dollar. You're not getting these prices anywhere else. Most people are charging at least two bucks for that. This girl is not going to have a proper bowel movement for a while. And she's just going to town in the middle of a field. All right.

[John Holmberg]

It happens.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. That's pretty good stuff. City of five million people, Frank. There's two people out right now in a park outside doing that somewhere.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Brady Bogan]

I. Absolutely. I would probably venture to guess. And Brady usually thinks I shoot high. 250, 000 at this very moment having public sex. Somehow or not.

[Frank Calando]

No, That's a little high, Bob.

[Brady Bogan]

Come on. How many do you think?

[John Holmberg]

4.

[Brady Bogan]

1.

[John Holmberg]

4.

[Brady Bogan]

4. You're out of your mind. You see how many parts there are? You think so higher, Bob. Homeless.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I didn't think About. At least.

[Frank Calando]

Unhoused.

[Brady Bogan]

When you said people I omitted, I assumed. Yeah. And that doesn't even count who's here legally and illegally. So city of 5 million could be closer to 6.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I guess I didn't understand what public. Yeah, okay. Yeah, probably about. You're right. 250.

[Brady Bogan]

250,000. Yeah. I told you. I told you. And probably somewhere safely in the range of 10 to 15,000 women with something in their bottoms right now.

[John Holmberg]

All on Onlyfans.

[Brady Bogan]

That's not medical. Yeah. And there's only fans. There's the other thing. There's girls waking up and that's their job and they're doing stuff like that. Yeah. You might have bumped the number up a little bit there. Plugs, all sorts of stuff. Nobody likes to think of that, but I do.

[Frank Calando]

Plugging for a living.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. There's only fans. I don't know how many Girls are on OnlyFans right now, but there's tons of them, like, doing terrible stuff to their bodies for a dollar.

[John Holmberg]

Plug and play.

[Brady Bogan]

Plug and play is right. That's what you want in the draft. You want to plug and play player. It's 827 there.

[John Holmberg]

Tremendous ability to take an Anvil. Incredible job.

[Brady Bogan]

Shiftiness.

[John Holmberg]

Take a look at. Ready to play, day one. Open it up. Spread the legs. Anvil's going down.

[Brady Bogan]

Mel Kuiper's horror draft 2025. This would only cost a dollar. Mel, what do you think of her work?

[John Holmberg]

Talk about tremendous value. Low ceiling. You know, a high ceiling. Low metrics. Incredible. I mean, you're talking about something. Actually, at the combine took 114 inches. Just the ability to, you know.

[Brady Bogan]

Thank you, Melkite, for everybody. This Horror draft analysis. There goes your Brady Report.

[John Holmberg]

It's not weird.

[Brady Bogan]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Frank Calando]

No membership fee.

[Brady Bogan]

I have heard enough of this.