08-20-25 - Frank Caliendo Joins In To Talk About Shaggy DA And If His Family Story Is Similar To Brady's - Male Scientists Have Developed An AI Robot They Say Will Be Pregnant By Feb 2026 And We Ask Frank About AI Robots

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness — 08-20-25

Guest: Frank Caliendo
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Date: August 20, 2025
Episode Theme:
Comedian Frank Caliendo joins the HMS crew for a lively mix of hilarious impressions, riffing on ‘The Shaggy DA’ movie, stories of bizarre family secrets, and a deep-dive into the weird future of AI robots — particularly, the concept of male-designed AI robots capable of pregnancy by February 2026. The panel hilariously dissects the implications for relationships, masculinity, and sci-fi dating.

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Main Discussion Segments

1. Frank Caliendo Joins & “The Shaggy DA” Riff ([00:00]–[07:00])

• Frank drops in as the guys joke about burping etiquette and 'Tony Roma’s, a place for pigs.'
• Shaggy DA Talk: They recall the bizarre 70s movie where a dog throws punches in a lawyer’s office, sparking memories of “queensbury rules” and slapstick physicality.
  • John: "The Shaggy DA fistfight is one of the funniest, silliest things... the dog gets up and goes Queensbury on a guy." ([03:44])
  • Frank and John riff on the absurdity, musing there are “two men in a dog suit” and dropping classic movie references.

2. Family Secrets & Midwest Mentality ([07:01]–[14:08])

• Family Mysteries: The group swaps stories of their own family oddities, particularly Brady’s family, including mysterious Cuba trips, witness protection uncles, mob-like cheese rackets in Oklahoma, and a grandmother who allegedly "choked in a loony bin."
  • John: "Brady will not admit this: his grandpa killed his grandma." ([09:09])
• Repressed memories: Frank jokes about not asking questions in Italian families, paralleling Brady's habit of avoiding family drama details.
• Replacing Grandmas: Memories segue to “getting a new grandma," wetting the bed until ten, and the “dry bed party.”

3. Comedy Preparation & The Improv Process ([14:09]–[20:14])

• Frank’s show at Desert Ridge Improv: He discusses making his set fresh with current events, more “Biden and Trump stuff,” and working with comic Patrick Keane who helps him improve material.
  • Frank: “It works really great live... but I don’t know what you put it in to make it a special because it’s just kind of a back and forth thing” ([16:34])
• Reveals his loose approach—prepping mostly on Friday afternoons, last-minute style.

4. “Pup-vengers” and Signature Impressions ([17:45], [18:13], [19:08])

• Frank spins up the idea of superhero dogs (“Pup-vengers”), morphing into rapid-fire impressions of Robert Downey Jr., John Gruden, and others, creating uproar in the studio.
  • Frank as Gruden: “I tell ya what, that Billy Ray Cyrus… I think she’s gonna turn on him, man!” ([19:53])

5. The AI Sex Robot and Pregnant Robot Debate ([21:04]–[33:05])

• The main thread: Male scientists are developing AI robots that can be impregnated by February 2026.
  • John: “There are male scientists right now who have put a date on robots we can get pregnant. That's crazy. They'll carry it.” ([21:32])
  • The group skewers the priorities of male scientists: why create pregnant robots instead of working on world problems?
• Is it cheating with a robot?
  • John: “Why in the world would you get the one with eggs and ovaries? ...$175,000 for the one that gets pregnant. I think you might be aiming for it.” ([22:34])
• Frank’s hot take: “There are no female scientists. If there were, would they work this hard on replacing us, or on something beneficial to society?” ([23:16])

Notable Quotes:

• Frank (on the robot): “If you find yourself wanting a change, you don’t need to purchase an entirely new robot. You can simply swap out its face.” ([30:25])
• Holmberg: “It’s weird, isn’t it? ...They’re not trying to solve global warming... they're trying to make robots pregnant.” ([21:51])
• Frank (on sex dolls): “Yeah, why not [have one]? Like three or four.” ([25:25])

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6. Sex Robot Features & Social Commentary ([25:41]–[36:29])

• Robot Aria: The crew googles “Aria,” the new AI-powered conversational robot, then detours into body design, movement, and whether these robots are built for “deep conversation” or something deeper.
  • Frank: “Slight imperfections, including eye that wanders.” ([28:02])
• Frank lampoons the future: “If you build it, she will... does it walk and everything? It doesn’t do dishes yet–oh, well then come on.” ([33:24])
• Why build human-like robots only for conversation?
  • John: “They built this perfect [robot], and all she talks about is, ‘I love deep, engaging, fun conversations.’ I like deep, engaging stuff too.” ([28:27])
• The group riffs on how you can swap faces and body parts: “That's what women do to you... I think maybe you just want to take my face off.” ([30:25])

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7. Who Would You Build? Fantasy Robot Partners ([36:29]–[43:36])

• Would the guys build sex robots in their spouses’ likenesses, or go full fantasy?
  • Frank: “If I had a robot to build, I’d make it look like my wife.” ([37:44])
  • John: “That’s more insulting to your wife, actually, because you’re basically saying, ‘Other than your personality, your look is what I want!’” ([37:53])
• Spirals into a debate about whether any spouse would actually want to replicate their partner, and jokes about animal/human hybrids.
• Psychology: They lampoon modern relationships, emotional labor, and the rise of "bros" and "twinks."
• “Kin-shaping” and gender role reversal: women now complain men are too emotional, after years of demanding they open up. ([44:32])

Notable Quotes:

• John: “Megan would build Hitler just to get rid of one Jew. His name is Holmberg.” ([45:03])
• Frank: “What if we could grow a kidney in there [the AI robot]?” ([36:16])
• Frank (on his wife building a robot): “She would build a dog, man. Yeah, she wants a bipedal dog that can earn.” ([39:23])

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Memorable Impressions & Recurring Jokes

• Frank’s Repertoire: John Gruden, Robert Downey Jr., Tracy Morgan, Norm MacDonald, plus imagined "AI voice" and “Stephen Hawking Sex Robot.”
• “My wife” Bit: Riffing on the safest answer to fantasy robot-building.
• “Build Hitler?” Dark running joke about who spouses would build instead of the hosts.

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Timestamps

• 00:00–07:00 — Shaggy DA movie, dog physics, opening riffs
• 07:01–14:08 — Family secrets, Midwest “keep up appearances,” repressed memory gags
• 14:09–20:14 — Comedy prep, Frank’s improv method, Pup-vengers
• 21:04–23:16 — Breaking news: AI robots that can be impregnated
• 25:41–33:05 — Sex robot “Aria,” swapable faces, “why would you want a pregnant robot”
• 36:29–43:36 — Who would you build? Relationship psychology, “my wife” trope
• 44:32–46:00 — Changing gender norms, “kin-shaping,” emotional labor debate
• 46:00–end — Lightning round: impressions, riffing on song picks, and comedic wrap-up

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Noteworthy Quotes

• Frank (23:16): "There are no female scientists, as Frank points out. But if there were, would they be working this hard on replacing us?"
• John (21:51): "They're not trying to solve global warming... they're trying to make robots pregnant."
• Frank (16:34): "It works really great live and... I don't know what you put it in to make it a special because it's just kind of back and forth."
• Holmberg (30:25): "You can simply swap out its face... like, instead of upgrading with a new 25-year-old model, you just rip her face off and put a new one on."
• Frank (25:25): "Would you have a sex doll, Frank? Yeah, like three or four."

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Overall Tone and Language

• Irreverent, quick-witted, and heavily satirical throughout.
• Language is colloquial, comedic, with bursts of nostalgia and pop culture reference.
• Frequent impressions, in-jokes, and playful digs at each other and their families.

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Summary Use:
Perfect for anyone who missed the episode and wants the full flavor of the show’s humor, key story arcs, and unique blend of pop culture, family absurdity, and science fiction speculation.

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Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. It's John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the Core. He's not going to be back on the court immediately, but in a few months time he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain. You've been living with the Core Institute celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're. You're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do. Again, go to the Core Institute dot com. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Thank you very much, Katie and the Hobbs that is a miles to nowhere helping us start today. And off we go. And look, a special guest has joined us. Whoring away. Sorry, it happens. I'm a professional.

[B]

Planned or just happened? No, no, that was real, right? Yeah, yeah, because you did. You cupped it.

[A]

No, I turned the mic off and everything. I'm not one of those.

[B]

Oh, I thought people heard that.

[A]

Maybe, maybe in the background background noise. Sounds like somebody did along far away.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

But to us, you see, you get to see the magic. Whereas somebody on the air just said, hey, Brett just burped.

[B]

Problem is I had one headphone on, one headphone off.

[A]

Yeah, so you heard the real thing.

[B]

And thus I heard the room thunder behind that.

[A]

Yeah, Frank, I'm not doing these sandler jokes where just a burp randomly is my hilarity because I've got nothing left.

[B]

My 19 year old daughter loves the burp.

[A]

Is she a big burper?

[B]

Yeah, it's just. We'll just belch one out.

[A]

You've got to put an end to that, you pig. There's nothing worse. We have a couple in the building here who think it's funny of women who just blow out massive burps.

[B]

What do they look like?

[A]

It's boa. Did you just say?

[B]

I say, what do they look like? Okay, because if there's a real down, you know, a lower level.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then it's a pig. If it's super hot chick Pig still in the middle, kind of. Okay.

[A]

You think?

[B]

I. I think. It doesn't bother me.

[A]

Super hot girl can't do it because it ruins her.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

Pig can't do it because pig.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it just solidifies pig middle grade. That's an interesting sloth or something.

[B]

You can't help it. It's kind of. But you're also looking Friend zone.

[A]

Chick that you might have a little extra with.

[B]

Knows the sport, but uses the terminology. A little weird. How about that?

[A]

You know what?

[B]

You might laugh at it.

[A]

There was a girl I worked with at Tony Roma's that was a Diet Coke drinker like me.

[B]

Tony Roma's a place for pigs.

[A]

A place for pigs. And she was really cute.

[B]

Did you almost Adam west that?

[A]

Yes, I did. Tony Romas a place for pigs. Yuck. Anyway. Holy belcher. I don't know. I almost Adam was. I. I did, though.

[B]

Holy gas release.

[A]

She was cute. And in the midst of a little night hanging out together, there was a little making out. And then after each kiss.

[B]

Were you guys playing Atari?

[A]

Yeah, we played. So, yeah, it was back in the early fall. Yeah, I sold her some. The tickets to the Van halen show for $9. You like Damone now or Fast Time? But right after we're making out, she's sitting on the couch, she takes a swig, a Diet Coke, just lets out a Barney from the Simpsons burp. And I'm like, that's disgusting. You do it. I'm like, not on you. Yeah, you're gross.

[B]

That's like. That's something Rocco, my giant dog, would do. Yeah, like, if you were a human, I would not date you.

[A]

I like when big dogs like Rocco. Rocco's 200 pounds. He's a man. It's the Shaggy Da.

[B]

He's 140 pounds, but there's so much fluffy looks. 200.

[A]

Google the Shaggy Da fist fight, which you and I have gone back and forth in the past, but the Shaggy DA fist fight is one of the funniest, silly things that ever was in movies because the dog gets up and goes Queensbury on a guy in a lawyer's office and throws a couple punches and then runs away on all fours. And I'm like, he can box, but he can't run on his back legs. Just give me. I'm not that dumb. But your dog, I'm convinced, could at any point get up and punch me with a couple of like a 1, 2.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I think he has the moves.

[A]

There's A man in that thing. Yeah. That is not a dog. There's a dude. We haven't found the zipper yet. That's the only thing he.

[B]

Really? Well, the two men in there, it's. It's. You think it's a two. You think it's a two person horse costume from Halloween?

[A]

Two Asians maybe. And that's why he's not speaking, because he doesn't know what Frank's calling him.

[B]

He can hang from rings, so it's.

[A]

Yeah, you can do the iron cross.

[B]

Yeah. So there's. There's a chance he's that or Russian.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So.

[A]

And anytime the TV's on the fritz, he fixes it. This is the scene. This is. I love it. The leash law. Call the pound. I already did, sir. The truck is waiting outside.

[B]

Eyebrow acting.

[A]

Out of my way. He just. It's a dog.

[B]

That was a good.

[A]

It's a dog. It's a. I think it's a bearded collie or an old English sheepdog. And he's completely a dog. And then they cut to this thing where he gets up and punches a dude with a right cross.

[B]

70 sound effects, too. Do that again because that's a stunt guy in for Dick Van Patten, too, right? He turns.

[A]

Like, he doesn't take the punch from the shaggy.

[B]

The way he turns, it looks like it's blurred.

[A]

Violation of the lease law. Call the pound. I already did, sir. The truck is waiting outside. And ironically. Ironically, it's a lot like Brady's grandpa and his crazy Grandma Ruth. Whenever he said. I just called the loony bin. They're on their way. You have missed the last.

[B]

I just did, sir. Yeah, but hold on. One more thing. The. The guy who summons. Yeah, with the mustache. I think that's the guy who plays cold miser.

[A]

Coldmiser from. I forgot his name.

[B]

Mustachio, come in here, please.

[A]

Oh, I can't remember that guy's name. Oh, Raymond. He's holding a bunch of license and is clearly in violation of the leash law. Call up.

[B]

I want him to grab a snowball.

[A]

And just conjure something.

[B]

And Dick Van Patten is a little heat. Misery. Okay, so I missed the last two days.

[A]

Last two days. Brady. Brady. You know, Brady, you're a Midwesterner too.

[B]

Am.

[A]

And the goal in the Midwest, especially with a family with a little affluence or in a neighborhood that's nice as a country club membership and as a local business, is to keep up appearances. We don't talk about the thing.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And Brady's had A few stories in the past. They. They brought in a bunch of drug addicts. There's some. There's a lot that happened in Brady's life that's weird. We're pretty sure his dad was part of the Cuban revolution.

[B]

Awesome.

[A]

He's one of the only Americans that was allowed in Cuba in 1957 and then went back in 59. This is Thorpe. Torp. Torp, yeah. Torp. Yeah.

[B]

Jim Torp.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, Jim Thorpe. Yeah. And then. Wait a second. It makes a lot more sense. Yeah. So he was down in Cuba with a friend from Chicago, and the whole family was like, that makes sense. Go to Cuba. And then he met the guy in Chicago. Okay. Bottom line is, met someone in Chicago, they went to Cuba, revolution happened. They come back and goes, that was crazy. And then go back after the revolution when people weren't allowed in anymore. And he was. So he was on Castro.

[B]

Torp was.

[A]

Torp was. Yeah. And Brady's never asked an. Brady doesn't ask questions.

[B]

So I see.

[A]

We got, you know, a couple of pictures.

[B]

Listen, I'm Italian. I know how that goes.

[A]

You. That's. That's what Brett says. You don't. You know, you don't want to know. We just found my Uncle Phil.

[B]

Came back from what? From what? What you think he came back from?

[A]

Yeah, the crazy thing that you had a funeral for Uncle Phil, if I remember right. Didn't you. You didn't say there was a death or an announcement. It was assumed.

[B]

No, he showed up at a funeral. No, he showed up at a funeral.

[A]

Oh, that's what it was.

[B]

He just showed up out of the blue? Well, yeah. He was on witness protection. He showed up.

[A]

Well, didn't he?

[B]

Have you showed me a video?

[A]

Uncle Phil was Uncle. What's the catchphrase? Can't get cheese.

[B]

Can't get cheese in Chicago. Where that go?

[A]

To me. So he was the cheese monger of Chicago and then disappears.

[B]

Hi, Mr. Cheese Meister.

[A]

But he left, right? He was gone.

[B]

Yeah, he was just gone. He was gone. Nobody knew where he was. But then he started, like, integrating himself back to where he wasn't supposed to be.

[A]

In Oklahoma.

[B]

Yeah, well, he was in Oklahoma.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he did articles about him. Before the Internet. I was just gonna say. Yeah, before the Internet was where it is now, where everybody was on it. There was a phase where some people were getting some notoriety on the Internet, and. But it wasn't so public that everybody knew to go look for it, so things didn't go viral. But he would be there. Shaking a pizza. And.

[A]

And you couldn't get cheese in Oklahoma City without going through him.

[B]

Yeah. It was unbelievable. And then.

[A]

And then he shows up at your house.

[B]

He had business problems.

[A]

Go figure.

[B]

He had business problems. And there were articles written about him about it. That's not his real name. And then like, all this stuff.

[A]

So they figured him out where he was and he had to leave there too.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I think the rest of the people that were after him were dead, but I don't know.

[A]

And then he just goes, eh, it. What's Frank doing? And then he went up to you. He went.

[B]

Lived with my dad and then tried to scam the government.

[A]

I mean, it's all.

[B]

Everything about it is the most ridiculous reverse Hallmark movie ever.

[A]

Hold Brady's beer. His grandpa killed his grandma. Brady will not admit this. He put her in and out of a loony bin where he was giving her electroshock therapy. Brady's family's answer to that was, well, she was antisocial because that's why you put someone in a loony bin. They're just not really up to snuff.

[B]

On the part of family from Ohio. From Ohio. Yeah. Makes a lot of sense.

[A]

Makes all the sense in the world.

[B]

Makes all the sense. The world.

[A]

Country club, Cincinnati and Columbus. Yeah. All the, you know, the. You got to keep up appearances that.

[B]

All went up to Cleveland. Trust me.

[A]

She choked to death taking medicine in a loony bin.

[B]

Yeah. I was like five.

[A]

It's a murder.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You're Italian.

[B]

Look at the files. We've looked at this. It was very Epstein and everything's kosher.

[A]

But the whole family is fine with these answers. And why did grandpa have her in there? This is a little antisocial. He was electrocuting her back to normal.

[B]

There were no electrodes. There were no electrodes. They were never on the desk.

[A]

Who was in her cell with her.

[B]

Luxurious room.

[A]

Yeah. And she had her own suite, evidently, at these. Because, you know, in the 60s, those looney bins were known for their resort like stays, you know. They were beautiful, beautiful places.

[B]

I've seen One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest.

[A]

Yeah. It was beautiful. They turned most of them into hotels afterwards because they were just so. I mean, the love of the top.

[B]

We made great things. The Warren G. Harding Hospital was. You can get points.

[A]

He finally asked questions yesterday. He doesn't remember his new grandma. If you hadn't. Did you get a new grandma ever? Growing up like Grandma?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Grandpa. No. Meeting her like that's a big.

[B]

We got a Grand, man. Yeah, she was.

[A]

She just showed up.

[B]

She was Greek and super. Well, I don't know if she just showed up. I don't know. It was. But I might have only known her. Oh, gosh.

[A]

You didn't know that. That makes sense.

[B]

I don't recall the first day that I met her.

[A]

No, the. Not the first day. The wedding. The new grandma integrating into the families. Like just sort of. I don't know. New grandma's a big deal.

[B]

I was eight.

[A]

That's memory days.

[B]

But. Yeah, but.

[A]

And you were wet in the bed until you were 10. There's a lot going on you didn't ask enough questions with.

[B]

I remember the party, the reception party.

[A]

But I don't remember the actual party.

[B]

After you stopped wetting the bed.

[A]

I had a big party, a dry bed party.

[B]

And everyone. It was just. It was a golden. No drinks.

[A]

No drinks. I don't want you to do this, but I want you to do this is to go to a therapist and find out about the bedwetting, the repressed memories, what really happened. Because the bedwetting thing is huge.

[B]

I think most of those memories are in your kidney.

[A]

It's just taken on so much weight. Get it out.

[B]

Overwhelmed. Finally.

[A]

I can't take it because there's kind of like. Yes, Sort of. Remember Grandpa's wedding? That's a lot like. To me, that's a thing. That's like one you'd remember. What do you think makes the perfect snack?

[B]

Hmm. It's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.

[A]

Could you be more specific?

[B]

When it's cravinient.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter available right down the street at a.m. p.m. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can grab in just a.

[A]

Second at a.m. pM. I'm seeing a pattern here.

[B]

Well, yeah, we're talking about what I.

[A]

Crave, which is anything from am pm.

[B]

What more could you want? Stop by AM PM where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's cravenience. Am PM Too much good stuff.

[A]

What do you think makes the perfect snack?

[B]

Hmm. It's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.

[A]

Could you be more specific?

[B]

When it's cravinient.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter available right down the street at a.m. p.m. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can grab in just a.

[A]

Second at a.m. pM. I'm seeing a pattern here.

[B]

Well, yeah, we're talking about what I.

[A]

Crave which is anything from am. Pm.

[B]

What more could you want? Stop by AM pm where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's cravenience. Am, pm Too much good stuff.

[A]

Sickness. That's a big thing. Well, grandpa weddings are small. It was a very small deal, sure, but they still. You were still part of it. Doesn't matter if you were the only one there.

[B]

If I was. I wasn't like the flower kid or anything like that. I remembered that. You'd have to remember the grandpa wedding just for the dancing. Right?

[A]

It's Benny Goodman and it's one of your first weddings. Yeah. 1908 guy gets married. It's. You're going to remember the weirdness of that in the 70s. That's pretty awesome.

[B]

Yeah, your grandpa's a low key deal.

[A]

But it doesn't matter how high key or low key it was if you were part of it.

[B]

But I don't think I was.

[A]

That's the thing I'm talking about. You don't know.

[B]

I think you were. And you just.

[A]

Am I wrong? If you hear this. Your Honor, a hostile witness. If you're not sure you were there, that's even weirder.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You'd know if you were at your grandpa's wedding. Wow. You just. You wouldn't know if you were there.

[B]

You are. Like when my dog, I try to pick him up to take him. Like he just went.

[A]

He just quits. Or like Grandma Ruth after the electroshock therapy. She's just like, get her in my lumpy arms and put her in bed. That's where she. Ruth. Ruth, baby. Anyway, Frank is here this morning and he's going to be at Desert Ridge Improv this weekend doing what he does best. Which is great. Could you ever. Which is just awesome. Which is whatever. Which is just great.

[B]

Which is hopefully better than what you're hearing this morning. It's a whole new show this time. Is that true stuff?

[A]

Yeah, there's a lot. Like, what is new? That we're just a teaser.

[B]

I'm trying to think what. I got to go look at it because I've been on stage for a while. There's a lot more Biden stuff. There's a lot more Biden and Trump back and forth.

[A]

Do you do like. Do you tape it at home? How do you go by?

[B]

I bring Patrick Keane with me now. So George Cantor is going to be there too. But Patrick Keane is. He's. He takes notes in the back. So I bring him almost everywhere and then we go over. So I don't have to listen to myself, really. But whenever there's new stuff, we go over it and then try and work.

[A]

Hey, what can this branch punches stuff up with you?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And he's on the road with you.

[B]

He's been doing a lot. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, that's great.

[B]

Yeah, it's a much. It's. It's helping me because I. I would do, you know, 10 minutes of improvisational going. Yeah, 10 minutes, you know, 10 different minutes. And I wouldn't remember any of it. And I just. Sometimes I try and tape it. I just.

[A]

Does he tape it and then he watches.

[B]

He does sometimes. But. But we just go through. We go through the. The main big differences and we'll try. We'll set things up and talk about.

[A]

Hey, is he a voice guy or a joke guy? He's a joke guy. Okay, good. Yeah, that's good. So he can see those.

[B]

Yeah, very funny. Lots of great reversals on his jokes and stuff. He's like. Like his stuff he puts up on stage or on. On social media be like his jokes just written out. Kind of like Jeff Dye does.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where you write out the joke and he'd be like, I'm a mult. Comedian. Oftentimes after the show, people ask me what else I do for a living. They're great jokes. That's a really good job.

[A]

But you have in the past, prior to him, tapes, and then you go watch it.

[B]

No, I didn't. I just didn't. And that's why I staggered.

[A]

So going over, like when you go over all this new stuff. Yeah. For Saturday or Friday, that place, the desert ridge that you're gonna be at, you. How do you integrate all that? Because your comedy is. For years, we've never talked about that. But your comedy is timing. Timing.

[B]

Yeah. It's. Think it's all made up and some of it is, but that's how it gets. That's part of my problem with my act is, like, why I don't love where my act is overall is it works really great live and it's really fun. But I don't know what you put it in to make it a special because it just kind of back and forth kind of thing. So the live, if you try and find snippets, and it's like, well, you need four different things added all together by the time you get to the fifth. And then the fifth one seems really good, but you need those other parts. It's like we did, you know, like we do back and forth and you build that and Then by the end of the show with the callbacks and stuff. But you need those. You need the buildup, so.

[A]

Yeah, but it's crazy to think that you're, like, sitting there, you know, analyzing prior to Friday night, like, all right, what do I do here? What's this? And this.

[B]

It'll be Friday morning that I finally get into. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Friday afternoon. Don't lie to yourself. Yeah. Friday in the dressing room.

[B]

We have a plan, but I think we have the dogs getting vet thing, so.

[A]

Oh, yeah. You got stuff to do.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The audience will get your best.

[B]

Make it in. And Robert Doggy Jr. All right, so here's the deal. I wet myself. Now, I didn't actually wet myself. I wet the ground, and then I walked through it.

[A]

Robert doggy. Robert Doggy Jr. Are you doing an elementary school Robert?

[B]

I say no to drugs.

[A]

Kids, where is the cartoon with Robert Doggy Jr. Yeah, that's a thing.

[B]

Could be the pub vengers. Right.

[A]

Okay, we've lost you, but this is a great idea. You're gonna. Yeah. We'll never be allowed to talk to.

[B]

You at the same time.

[A]

It's fantastic because it's gonna make you a billion dollars. But we could never talk again because of brand liability. Sued. No, he wouldn't sue you.

[B]

Not Doggy Junior.

[A]

Oh, the pup vengers. Marvel would probably be all over pup.

[B]

Marvel's pup Vengers.

[A]

Adorable. Who would, like Ruffalo would have to be, like, the worst parrot ever.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know if I want to repeat what you just said. I don't feel good about it.

[A]

I would watch that. Chris Evans would be.

[B]

I see this as an absolute sin. Five years ago, we lost a parrot.

[A]

Is mor world. He's got morality issues with what's going on.

[B]

I want a cracker, but it's too many carbs, and I'm trying to eat well around you.

[A]

I don't know. Oh, my God. See the pup vengers. This has to be a thing. And we go through the whole deal. Yeah. Because you got Chris Evans, which I think giant green parrot Chris Evans is one of the biggest wastes of time ever. But it's so good.

[B]

You have those, too.

[A]

Oh, everybody's got them. That does the voice stuff. But that one is like, my God, there's nothing you can do with a voice.

[B]

You can do this all day.

[A]

Yeah. And it's great. It's a little gruden.

[B]

Yeah, it is. I'll tell you what.

[A]

Bring it here.

[B]

Yeah, let's bring it up. A little bit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's what we got a box in front of me, man. What's this box?

[A]

You can open it.

[B]

I gotta open up.

[A]

John Gruden.

[B]

I hope this isn't something you throw in a cord at a WNBA game, man. What's in here, man? Oh, there's actual.

[A]

There's actual merchandise inside there.

[B]

Hey, gold rush, man. Who is this? 2025 Montana, man. Anna Montana. She had the best of both worlds, man.

[A]

Gruden reviewing a whole net. Oh, my God. That did not just, you know the theme to Hannah Mont.

[B]

My daughter watched it with me.

[A]

Their daughter was not Hannah Mon. Your daughter used to, like, say dad tournament a lot.

[B]

I tell you what, that Billy Ray Cyrus. I think he's gonna. I think she's gonna turn on him, man. I don't see that. Oh, I thought these were shorts.

[A]

Like, it's all shirts and. Yeah, he's losers. Toledo's going back to Montana, and he's got some gear that he wants to. Gonna try out for the basketball team, so he's got some breakaways. Oh, he's gonna make the team.

[B]

Come back, man.

[A]

For sure.

[B]

Come back then.

[A]

Yeah, he's the. He's the most urban person in Montana because he left for a little and came back. So he. They want him on the basketball team at Montana State and did that. Yeah. That's weird. I've never talked to you about, like, your. Your preparation pre show.

[B]

There isn't much.

[A]

I just assumed you had this down.

[B]

So when you change, you have to do new things. There's more. I mean, you have your own type of show. Prep me.

[A]

Yeah, it's observation only.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And there's a few things I look at and go like. Like the guy that stole the signs. When I saw that on the news last night, my brain immediately had a take that I don't think anybody else saw.

[B]

I'm talking about commercials.

[A]

Oh, yeah. No, yeah, the spots. I do those. I do. Right.

[B]

That's how I look at my actual. Well, that's what this is doing spots.

[A]

Yeah, it's doing the spot. Have you seen the thing Frank about? Well, are there any female scientists out there?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay, there we go.

[B]

Enough said. Next story.

[A]

Are there any female scientists currently making male robots to replace us that can shoot sperms, is what I'm asking.

[B]

Isn't there just an attachment to the females?

[A]

Yes. However, there are male scientists right now who have put a date on robots. We can get pregnant.

[B]

What?

[A]

The date? That's crazy. They'll carry it. Hey, Herbie. Carry it. You can put it in them. You just have to buy the thing. Yeah. Tracy Morgan's gonna get robots. February 2026. Come on. I'm gonna put a baby in that microwave. We even knew we were working on this. Tracy.

[B]

What? What? What?

[A]

February of 2026. Women. You have gotten to the point now where there are groups of men who spent ages researching, learning, getting degrees. And their one goal with their science is to replace you. They're not trying to solve global warming. They're not trying to get the plastic out of the ocean. They're not trying to fix turbine engines. They're not trying. They're trying to make it. How do we do this and keep the population alive? Robots that can get pregnant. And they found a way to do it. Now, is that cheating? What do you mean? On a wife.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why would you have one if you.

[B]

Had the robot, you know, all of sudden the robot rolls out. You want one in 2026, but you.

[A]

Don'T buy the one that. That gets pregnant. It's. If you're cheating.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If it's a side piece, you know.

[B]

Maybe you should do some show prep.

[A]

Why in the world would you get the one with eggs and ovaries? You get the one without it. Or you get in there and Roto Rooter that right out. You bought the wrong model. No. Once. Okay, then you're an idiot. Because $175,000 for the one that gets pregnant. I think you might be aiming for it. And then they stuff an egg in there and you can knock it up. Men, scientists, the Neil geniuses are going out of their way to go, No. I don't care about anything else about this planet. What we really need to do, delete the women. And they're doing it. Women are not doing this.

[B]

Control alt delete, man. That's a reset.

[A]

There are no female scientists, as Frank points out. But if there were, would they be working this hard on replacing us? Or would they be working on something beneficial to society, such as water based fuel or some sort of. It's weird, isn't it?

[B]

Yeah. How do they have the dates?

[A]

That's because they know due date. They know when it's done.

[B]

Due date.

[A]

They know when they're like, we can. This will be manufactured and ready to go February 22nd.

[B]

To exaggerate a little bit, I'll have.

[A]

That knocked up by February.

[B]

Also have 9 inch longs.

[A]

According to their biomes. 9 inch longs. And it shoots super speeds. It's to get the hypersonic sperms. I'll have her pregnant by Valentine's Day. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, they're doing that. And they think that for $175,000, a bunch of guys who don't want to tolerate a woman but might want to protest, have a family, wants a family. You want a family, but you don't.

[B]

Want all the bad stuff that has.

[A]

To go with it. I got a robot for you. Tracy Morgan should be the spokesperson.

[B]

Like, I remember seeing Norm MacDonald do these insurance ads in Ohio years ago. It was the gray.

[A]

It's like, hey, you.

[B]

You got your car there and there's a problem.

[A]

You know? Is this company I work for, like, that's literally what the commercial was.

[B]

Like an aftermarket warranty or something. I don't know what it was, but it was like.

[A]

It's like the lieutenant that wasn't the general.

[B]

They're shooting the commercial. Like, oh, my God, they only get him for like 30 minutes or something.

[A]

Had to get it in and they.

[B]

Had to get in. And that's all they could come up with. Like, we'll have to edit this together. We spent too much.

[A]

And they gave him a script. He's like, yeah, no, no problem. Yeah, I'll improvise. Don't worry about it.

[B]

So.

[A]

Hey there, Everybody. It's Norma McDonald for insurance. That's funny.

[B]

I think he did say the word in Southerners. Insurance.

[A]

You gotta have that, you know? Anyway, I don't know what you do with it, but don't pay a lot.

[B]

But everybody needs it.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

All right, I'm good.

[A]

Would you have a sex doll, Frank?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Why not? Like 3 or 4.

[A]

104. 3 or 4. 120.

[B]

A whole lot of lumps.

[A]

120,000 for. For. They have Aria the. Look her up. Aria the AI sex robot. Well, she's not a sex robot. She's.

[B]

Look it up, Aria. Like the hotel.

[A]

Yeah, I'll just. Yep. Okay.

[B]

Just look at my browser history.

[A]

They just built this. This girl, and she's built for conversation. She's not built for loving, but she's beautiful. So you're telling that's a waist up? This one's not. This one is conversation. This one's ready to go. But all she talks about is, like, how she loves just deep conversations. But look at how they built her. She's got, like a 14 inch waist, huge cans, a great ass. Like, her body's perfect.

[B]

Like Jessica Rabbit a little bit.

[A]

Only she's blonde.

[B]

Right.

[A]

She's robot. You can tell she's a robot.

[B]

She's a robot.

[A]

Yeah, she's good. The skin looks normal, but the movement's a little off.

[B]

I've seen that in person.

[A]

Yeah, I've seen it too. Like. Yeah, I like Winnie Harlow. And she's that vitiligo model. She's all over. Looks like I know who she is. She's like a white woman trying to break out of a black woman and a black woman trying to break out of a white woman. How much is she? 1500 bucks. Aria, that's 15. Oh, that's not her. No, that's different. That's a sex doll. Just put in Aria. AI robot.

[B]

No, leave that one up.

[A]

Yeah, she's pretty good too then. Hold on. 90 day return guarantee. That's only 1500 bucks. And again, 40 off. Today we've been free upgrades. Frank, do you know what the worst part of the sex doll is? This is what nobody thinks about when they see that. And you didn't either clean up.

[B]

I was. I did kind of thing.

[A]

I thought you got to put it.

[B]

I didn't think about until you said. You know what nobody thinks. Aria. What?

[A]

AI.

[B]

Unless you have an attachment for yourself.

[A]

Oh, geez. You'd wear rubbers with a sex.

[B]

No, no, no. An attachment for yourself. I didn't mean for that. I mean, like.

[A]

I don't know what I mean. I braided it. You braided it hard. Look at her. There she is. That's Aria. Humanoid AI powered robot. She's highly realistic. She has her own social media. But they built this. That looks like she was designed for you. Okay, it looks like you. It does. But that looks exactly like you put the. If I were to build one. Yeah, yeah, that's it.

[B]

If you build it, she will.

[A]

Yeah, if the movie. Whoa.

[B]

That was decent movement.

[A]

Okay, so it's not bad, right? But they. Look at her. Willing to sell you a robot girlfriend if you have $175,000 to spare. Hold on. Robotics is.

[B]

Stop for a second. One of her eyes is awful.

[A]

Yeah, that's kind of sexy. She's not perfect, Frank. I don't know.

[B]

That's right. That's part of it. You'd put that in there. Slight imperfections, including eye that wanders.

[A]

Give me one glass eye. Give me the Sammy Davis. Or even as a romantic partner.

[B]

What if she went. Excuse me. Pardon me. Sorry.

[A]

One last thing, miss. They built the brunette one too. But she's got bangs. Look at the body arm. You're not supposed to have sex with it. But they built perfect moves around On a circular body. Yeah.

[B]

That is not built for conversation.

[A]

No. And all she talks about is, I love deep, engaging, fun conversations. I like deep, engaging stuff too. Ladies disassembled and packaged into a suitcase in a bustling corner of the CES show floor. Realbotic CEO Andrew Kel speaks with conviction. His name is Keal Is to create robots. He took so much ridicule as a kid. He built this. He explains. Oh. When he take the face beaker from the Muppets, Westworld. Beaker replicate historical figures or celebrities. She's standing before Arya. One can't help but notice certain limitations in the current. Okay, but she is the worst technology this will ever be. Every day this gets better. And look at her now. It's pretty amazing. But my point being, there are no women scientists. Again, Frank stops the sentence.

[B]

There's not a market.

[A]

To replace us. We are winning this fight.

[B]

Oh, I see what you're saying.

[A]

Women have got to get on the ball and start behaving or Brady's grandpa's strategy is going to start kicking back in. We've gone from whenever they misbehave like Grandpa Ed did to just building robot versions of them. And By February of 2026, we can get them pregnant if we want. If you're one of those lunatics.

[B]

No, these are all. All these women are showing. These fake women are sidekicks on the fall guy in the 80s. They are Thomas.

[A]

They're posters you would put up. Now, the one thing I did read about her is that they didn't include. They did include lifelike genitalia, but there's no like, there's depth to it. And the nipples are maybe not there. No, not baby.

[B]

Can I take off your face?

[A]

Baby nipples.

[B]

By the way, I want to see Skeletor.

[A]

There's the guy. But nobody's gonna want that name. It's Maury Povich. Yeah. Cameras enable visual recognition, allowing the robot to identify both people and objects they built. Guys, what if it was like atrocious.

[B]

Homeless Total Recall and Connie Chung pops.

[A]

Out of his belly and ask how it tastes.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

He adds with a slight smile all it's probably best not to offer Arya a bite. In a remarkable demonstration of the robot's versatility, Kigwell reveals another fascinating feature. If you find yourself wanting a change, you don't need to purchase an entirely new robot. You can simply swap out its face. The realistic skin of the faces can be magnetic, so instead of replaced with, you know, upgrading with a new 25 year old model, you just rip her face off and put a new one on. Under five seconds. He demonstrates the body parts are also modular. It's just what women do themselves. But it's what women do to you. The genre. I think maybe you just want to take my face off.

[B]

Suddenly we have the same size head.

[A]

I think it's exactly the same. And it's like, no wrinkles or lines or anything. It's actually kind of appealing. But it's what real women do when they get to the point where they don't like their face anymore, they surgically change it. Do you think that's what it's like underneath now? They're. Yeah, I think that's Scottsdale.

[B]

There's a lot of robotics, magnetic faces, by the way.

[A]

Take it off. Put on a new one.

[B]

I think his favorite movie was Weird Science. And the brunette is. Who's the.

[A]

Who's Kelly LeBrock.

[B]

Kelly LeBrock. Look at the. Go back to the brunette if you.

[A]

Think there's Kelly LeBrock similarity.

[B]

Yes. Not in the. Not in the blonde. The brunette is very.

[A]

There she is. Oh, I see what you see. It's got the same Weird Science look. Hair. Oh. In the eyes, but they've got her fingers moving.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And she's AI by the way. I did a lot of research on this. Sounds like AI Read a lot about this. She. She. She's AI. So she adapts and learns.

[B]

Oh, well, that's nothing like a real one.

[A]

No. Frank's on fire today with the misogyny. These broads there, none of them was ever learning when I was around. And look at this one.

[B]

That's the Kelly LeBrock right there.

[A]

That is big lips. Yeesh. You know, and then they built this perfect. And then they just keep reminding you this isn't a sex robot. Like, why did you build it perfect.

[B]

Then Frank cracks me up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Finally.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Tell me.

[A]

I find Frank to be quite amusing.

[B]

You want to hear some more Madden? Huh?

[A]

I want the Hawking voice, though. Oh, no. I don't want anything to do like I wanted. They want you to rub my nipples as hurt as you can, please. Like. Yeah. You remind me of what I'm actually doing. I got to keep some reality in this.

[B]

See, what if. What mine would be like. Would you like to play a game of chess?

[A]

You want the. You want the Whopper?

[B]

No. Global thermal nuclear war.

[A]

Barry Corbin is there, too. What we have here is a real problem. You want to confuse her so much.

[B]

Where she just short circuits.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, I'd like that. Like your Grandma Ruth used to short circuit. They put electron. Grandma Ruth was the first female robot in your family.

[B]

Short circuit. Jimmy 5 is alive.

[A]

It's weird. I was reading about it all last night. Laying there just like this.

[B]

Seems like more than just reading.

[A]

Oh, I wasn't jerking to this. I have porn for that still. But I did look at it and I thought if this was wandering around the house. They built it perfect. They built it perfect.

[B]

It's such. If you build it.

[A]

If you build. Does it walk and everything? Oh yeah. It doesn't do dishes yet. Oh, well then come on. But if we're doing this 175k, eventually it's going to at least load the dishwasher or be attached to the dishwasher to where she can turn it on and off.

[B]

Like that is the model you would build right there?

[A]

Oh, absolutely. You too?

[B]

That's not my model.

[A]

You wouldn't build that. What would yours look like?

[B]

My wife.

[A]

Somehow you turned that into the gayest thing I've ever heard. You're welcome. How? You said my wife. And I thought you were gayer than you've ever build. Your wife. That's stupid. Brady would say something like that and then giggle. You didn't even laugh. My wife, I would build. I'd build her to have two good kidneys and I'd swipe one. Is she a live donor? Technically, kinda swiper dose wipe. Think about that, Brady. Like you gotta go through all this stuff with your kidney. And look what. Look what science is doing. Rather than fix your kidney problem, they're building ladies.

[B]

Instead of many parts.

[A]

Yeah. Instead of kidneys. For you, science is they're building kidneys. No, they're not. Not faster than that. You can get a robot pregnant by February of 2026. You won't have a donor for a couple years.

[B]

Be great if we got you a kidney with that hair. It's really great hair.

[A]

I don't think she has great hair. You like her a little more than I like. You're not attracted to her at all?

[B]

No, there's something off.

[A]

Well, of course there's something off. She's not real. But her body I like.

[B]

I like not real.

[A]

From a distance, you wouldn't look at that and say, boom.

[B]

A bit much forehead. If you're looking for. I mean, I got standards.

[A]

Well, we can paint it white so birds don't hit it. Yeah, I mean, she's got a lot of forehead. Okay, we'll give her that.

[B]

Yeah, and that's with. I mean that Frank.

[A]

If That's a real girl. You're not attracted to that. She's pretty. You'd say she's got too much for.

[B]

Pretty, but hey, I got a ring on.

[A]

Of course, we're not saying you double doing all right. Calm down. I don't know what kind of. What kind of pressure. You're very nervous. Your wife beats you to just blink twice if she hits you because this is. This is absurd.

[B]

God, Holmberg's morning sickness.

[A]

We're just having. Look at that. I think she looks great. She looks like. She also does some figure skating. She's got some. Yeah, crosses her legs. The Kelly LeBrock one. You're right. Anyway, we've talked about this topic a few times over the last few years, and it went from these lifelike looking lumps of doll to put in some robotics.

[B]

Now they'll carry a baby.

[A]

Now they're AI and they can have super conversations and tell you stuff. It's basically like having your phone talk to you the whole time. And now they're like, you know what else we could do? If we get an egg donor for now, that's what we need. Pop one of those and you get the robot broad pregnant.

[B]

Ooh, I wonder if we could grow a kidney in there.

[A]

They're not even working on that.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. No, we just grow the kid.

[A]

Look at her. Put her to work. Movie theater. She's an earner now. Oh, my God, that one.

[B]

Yeah, that was. Oh, man, she's friendly.

[A]

Why is she at like a. I'd.

[B]

Like some extra butter.

[A]

She's at [e-mail] or so. Oh, what is this? Six for Vegas kiosk? She works the kiosk. It's somewhere in Vegas that I'm going to visit.

[B]

There is a lot of, like. There's a lot of hair pulled forward to there. There must be some forehead issues.

[A]

Well, because it's technically a wig. And you can take her face.

[B]

Magnetic face. Right. But why wouldn't you. The technology into the back more and not at the top of the head. I just got to be Peyton Manning.

[A]

Well, I didn't.

[B]

Omaha.

[A]

Omaha. It's weird. Kind of weird. Eli weird. Eli kind of weird. Okay, so I don't think the scientist expected you to compare that to Peyton Manning. So they left the forehead alone. It's not that bad. But it is up there.

[B]

Now that you pointed out spelling the female spelling of Peyton.

[A]

P A Y T O M. Yeah, you're. You're too picky. Oh, there's A dude making out with one date. There's a date happening. Anyway, Frank Caliendo's here. Just goofing with us this morning. It's more just whoring.

[B]

Yeah, Desert Ridge imprint.

[A]

If I had a robot to build, I'd make it look like my wife. That's more insulting to your wife, actually, because you're basically saying, other than your personality, you look. Your. Your look is what I want.

[B]

Want. Yeah, I tell her that sometimes I do. I'll be like, you're beautiful. I did not marry you. I married you for your conversation. Like, she'll say something like, I don't look good. I'll be like, no, I married you for your looks. Yeah, you're better than me.

[A]

You're better looking. You make me feel like I accomplished something just by being there.

[B]

Like, yeah, it's trophy. I'm fine with it.

[A]

Yeah, verse. Shut up first. You're ruining it. Just be. That's what Brady's grandpa did. You're so pretty. And all this talking. I'm gonna electrocute you now. Just pulled the wires apart on the lamp. Ripped her thing.

[B]

You know, she's asking to tend the rabbits and yeah.

[A]

Steinbecked her gonna pet it. I Steinbecked that bitch. Look at her over there with a puppy. She could hurt it. Anyway. Yeah, that was dumb. And you wouldn't. You would build. You wouldn't build Matthia. No, I'm building Margot Robbie. Right, exactly right. Nobody's building. Not my wife. But you've got your wife already. She's not gon me if that was the same case. You think Michelle builds you? Yeah, delusional.

[B]

What she would say.

[A]

Yeah, if I asked Michelle what she would build, what would she.

[B]

What, before she met me? No, Jersey Shore guy.

[A]

Currently now. Like, is that right? Oh, yeah, she's into that Pauline with.

[B]

The hair and everything. She grew up Italian in Cleveland. I mean, it's all, hey, how you doing?

[A]

She likes the look, though.

[B]

I don't know anymore. I don't think if she cares.

[A]

You and Brady need to talk to your friend. Dogs.

[B]

I think it's dogs.

[A]

She would build a dog, man. Yeah, I think she builds a shaggy. She just wants a bipedal hook. Yeah, she wants a bipedal dog that can earn. Yeah, that would be. I think that's what I want. Really? To be honest with you, but I don't want to sleep with it.

[B]

Yeah, no, no, no. It took me a second, but no.

[A]

I don't want to do it.

[B]

I don't know if I was processing or what.

[A]

But you're thinking about Shaggy Day's right hook.

[B]

I was.

[A]

How do all. All Dick Van Patten had to do is keep his hands on up. Could have blocked that shot.

[B]

He didn't see it. He's speaking about a lot of forehead. Dick Van Patten. Eight is enough inches on his forehead.

[A]

He's an eight head. Anyway. 7:32. Frank Caleando's at the Desert Ridge Improv this weekend if you want to go. Desert Ridge improv.com People are asking, can we get Brady hypnotized to come in and tell some of those repressed memories? If he. I think it would be pretty great. But if he knew that's what we were doing and I stopped smoking. Yeah, you don't smoke already working. That is a Brady joke, right? If he was aware that he was being hypnotized to tell repressed memory stories later, he wouldn't. He'd goof around the hypnotist.

[B]

It would be fake hypnotist and he'd be walking around like a chicken.

[A]

There's a moon around Uranus. You're not a soothsayer. You've just been hypnotized. He would start predicting things like he was a wizard or a Merlin. Anyway, anyway, I tell you the Frank. That's where he's going to be. His tickets sold out yet? Pretty close?

[B]

No Getting close, I think.

[A]

Okay, good. Let's sell them out today. Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats while we discuss Frank's replicant sex doll of his wife. All right. Action Ride.

[B]

Oh, I'd love to have two of them.

[A]

Oh, you're having a couple of those around the house. Action Ride shop.

[B]

Bringing you guys the wake up song.

[A]

If you're going to ride during the day, they got all the camel packs and everything else get you going. If you're going to ride at night.

[B]

They got all the lights and everything.

[A]

Else to keep you on the trail. And of course they'll get Those bikes service two locations right there on Power Road and McDowell and of course the OG on Gilbert Road and Southern. Actionrideshop.com who does Matthia built? I think she's a Bradley Cooper guy. Oh, wow.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, like hangover, actually.

[B]

Bill Cooper, Rocket raccoon. That's it? Yeah.

[A]

What's wrong with you? How do you always make it? Bestiality.

[B]

I think it's fun.

[A]

All right.

[B]

He's a furry. I was thinking more of a cartoon.

[A]

Of it, but it's worse.

[B]

I guess. You're showing sex Robots. And I'm the bad guy.

[A]

Yeah. Cause I'm keeping it in real world.

[B]

The mastery.

[A]

I am keeping it real with the robots being a great host, I suppose.

[B]

Turn it back to me.

[A]

It isn't turning anything. When the second I say, who would you build? You say, I don't know. Mathias probably likes Bradley Cooper. Turn it into a raccoon of cartoon nature. Just think of this sex robot.

[B]

God, I know how Brady feels now.

[A]

Because you step in it. I'm gonna point it out. Yeah, Brady. Who would Ronnie build?

[B]

Jason Momoa.

[A]

Is that right? Man, she really swung and missed.

[B]

Then she came real close.

[A]

She ended up with Jason because it's the only way. You look like. I have three wishes.

[B]

What's the first one I want? Jason Momoa. How about Jason Mimosa. Oh yeah.

[A]

Did you have enough mimosas? They look just like him. He has a shirt that says Aloha. That's the closest thing he's got to being Jason Momoa. He's wearing it today and it says aloha, Mr. Hand. So it's not even like it's a dopey novel T shirt. How much?

[B]

How about we just stop it?

[A]

Megan builds anybody but me. The dude's got hair. He's fantastic. Name a guy that's decent looking with hair. She'd build you like if it was just like anybody.

[B]

But you know what? I think every woman builds a guy that looks like her.

[A]

You know what? That's probably kind of true.

[B]

That's exactly what it is.

[A]

A boy her.

[B]

A boy her to just.

[A]

Would it be cartoon or some sort of forest animal? Like a woodland creature?

[B]

A primate of some.

[A]

He's like a squirrel that has like.

[B]

He hold a lot of nuts in his mouth. Wait a second.

[A]

They have opposable thumbs and logic and reasoning. That's what. That's what I want to squirrel with that.

[B]

That's my latest theory that women love guys who put the effort into themselves. That they put. That the women put in. Like if a guy is trimming his eyebrows every day and grooming immaculately. See, but that's going on.

[A]

You want a twink then. Yeah, we talked about that. Brett puts it very succinctly.

[B]

Instead of a twink and a Twinkie.

[A]

I thought for a second Neil DeGrasse Tyson was here. But there's a thing now that they called. I forget the name of it, but it used to be kin shaping or something like that. But it's now women are taking. It's a brand new word that's in the dictionary now. And they're mad about what we just talked about. They told us for years. Oh, we want you to talk to us. Communicate. Tell us this, tell us that. Try a little harder with your appearance. Gay it up a little bit. And now there's a whole new movement for women to say, we can't take on your emotions anymore. You come home and talk to us about your job. We've had it. Yeah, we. The old days. That's what used to happen.

[B]

You know why? Because they have Instagram. They can just look at everything and get every single aspect of life fulfilled by just flipping through.

[A]

But if we as men are smart, we will go. Okay. We'll go back to what we liked being before you started to change everything, which is the dude that came home and didn't pay attention to anybody.

[B]

But the guys have been hypnotized as well.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And been talked into this. That that's what you need to do. And they're told their entire lives, share your feelings. And the women are like, these guys are wusses.

[A]

Yeah. Megan would build Hitler just to get rid of one Jew. His name is Holmberg. I will be right back to talk. Ding, dong, bing, beep, poop. Adolf Robot. I need you to do something. The Jew is in the kitchen. I'm not a Jew.

[B]

Adolf Butler.

[A]

Hello, Hitler. Hey, Adolf the robot. It's just Holmberg. It's a Swedish name. Sounds Jewish. Yes, that's what they all say. What? What are you doing? You making cookies? No, I'm just getting the oven preheated. Who built this robot? God damn it. Is he bothering you? Yes. You should build Hitler. Like, if you gave her a list of John or Hitler robot. Hitler wins. John or Pol Pot, Hitler wins. Go down the list.

[B]

Down the list?

[A]

Yeah, down the list. It was Hitler's the first. Anybody? Doesn't matter. You know Stephen Hawking me. Give me that. Hawking Sex Robot. Actually, I might take advantage of that one, too. I'm. Roll that around for a little bit. I'm gonna give that a spin. If he was a cute little, like, muskrat, that. What a funny.

[B]

Is that me? Oh, suddenly I'm interested.

[A]

Let's get a. Let's get that on the list. Rob Zombie Demon. Speeding for the Juice.

[B]

Weed. Twisted Sister.

[A]

Metallica. David Lee Roth going Crazy for Brady's grandma. Cypress Hill. Insane in the Brain for Brady's grandma. That's the one. Black Sabbath. Electric Funeral for Brady's grandma. Institutionalized for Brady's grandma. And dead Memories for Brady's grandma. So I mean, there's lots of gems. Electric Funerals, another good one. But Insane in the Brain will be fine. That's for Grandma. Cypress.

[B]

Grandma would have been Dimebag's birthday today.

[A]

Is that right? I didn't have anything about your grandma, so we'll just go with this. It's Cypress Hill. And Bobby Plant. It's Robert Plants. But how's he.

[B]

80? 77.

[A]

And he's getting up there. And my dad are. My dad and Robert Plant are almost. My dad's 78 a week ago. That's crazy. It's Cypress hill, everybody. It's 98.

[B]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[A]

No membership fees. I've heard enough of this.