08-20-25 - FULL SHOW - WEDNESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 08-20-25 (FULL SHOW) Summary

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 98 KUPD
Date: August 20, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogan, Brett Vesley, Dick Toledo
Special Guest: Frank Caliendo

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Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into the outlandish and often uncomfortable family history of co-host Brady Bogan, unraveling a web of bizarre anecdotes involving institutionalized relatives, electroshock therapy, and mysterious family secrets. The crew uses these stories – partly as a springboard for humor, partly as genuine curiosity – to riff on generational differences, American family dysfunction, and their own willingness (or lack thereof) to ask uncomfortable questions. The episode is peppered with trademark HMS irreverence: jokes, analogies to pop culture, and rampant riffing, with a segment featuring comedian Frank Caliendo and a detour into sex robots, AI, and the ever-dwindling patience radio personalities have with changing media.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Saga of Brady’s Family (00:45–22:00)

• Brady’s Grandma Ruth: The show begins with an in-depth — and darkly comedic — exploration of the saga surrounding Brady’s grandmother.
  • Institutionalization and Electroshock Therapy (05:08–10:09): Brett lays out how his grandma, Ruth, received shock therapy and spent her later years in mental institutions, while John pushes for greater family honesty and history.
  • The Mystery of Grandma’s Death (06:11–10:56): The group speculates whether her death, which supposedly involved "choking on her medicine,” was actually suspicious, with repeated jokes about One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and Nurse Ratched.
  • Generational Marriages and Social History (10:10–15:35): The absurdity of young marriages and divorce norms of the past are explored, with humor around 15-year-olds marrying their teachers and what “fixing” a wife meant to their grandfathers' generation.
  • Deflecting Family Lore (14:32–17:06): Brett and Brady show a reluctance or inability to get direct family answers, much to John’s comedic frustration. John compares his own family legends, pushing for more transparency and less “rose-colored glasses.”
  • Norman Bates Analogies (18:15–20:49): They compare aspects of these family stories to classic horror/true crime (Norman Bates, Ed Kemper), keeping the tone dark and satirical.

“Like when somebody who's been raped as a child tries to tell stories about their childhood. And we were worried that... Brady had repressed memories.” – John Holmberg (04:03)

“Grandpa was charming with what? Electroshock therapy on grandma is something you guys weren't like. What the–” – John Holmberg (22:20)

【Timestamps: 04:03, 22:20】

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2. Family Dysfunction as Sitcom & Pop Culture Parodies (20:55–33:00)

• Nicknaming and Recasting Family Drama: The hosts envision the Bogan family as a sitcom, with “rose-colored glasses” analogies, mocking how Brady presents damaging family events as normal.
• Ancestry and Avoidance: There’s continued frustration at Brady’s refusal to get direct answers about family trauma — something John calls “pulling the string and seeing what really happened.”
• Analogies to Media & Crime: References to Norman Bates, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Ed Kemper, and pop cultural touchstones like Stand By Me and Shaggy D.A. punctuate the segment, blending humor and horror.

“You would have written some amazing stuff. Everyone in every, like, my family is like positive my grandpa killed my great grandfather.” – John Holmberg (17:06)

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3. Social Critique: Hypocrisy in Arizona News (33:00–41:00)

• Gilbert Moms vs. Maryvale Violence: John ridicules affluent, mostly white suburban outrage over local violence, contrasting media coverage in different communities and highlighting hypocrisy in public reactions based on geography and race.
• Outrage Fatigue: The group lampoons the selective outcry ("only our community that matters"), ugly optics of class bias, and performative activism (ring lights for Instagram).
• Photo Radar Story (41:00–48:25):
  • The hosts dissect a local news story where a man (“Sven Silverton”) attempts to thwart a photo radar camera by removing the warning sign — using this as material for comedic speculation and to vent against automated policing tactics.
  • Holmberg suggests deeper motives for the man's behavior tied to work pressure and anti-corporate defiance, tossing in “Swede Jews” (his tongue-in-cheek ethnic mash-up) and WWII jokes about Porsche dealerships.

“Our sweet Jews are—I'd say Jewish. Combine them that way, but that's the same thing. Swede Jews.” – John Holmberg (41:14)

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4. Frank Caliendo Joins: Comedy Craft, Prepping Shows & AI Robots (62:01–84:00)

• Stand-up Show Construction: Frank Caliendo discusses his unique approach to writing and organizing material for live performances at the Desert Ridge Improv. Preps are often last-minute, relying on notes, tapes, and collaboration with joke writers like Patrick Keane.
• On New Stand-Up Material (62:01–65:04):
  • Frank shares how political climate, current events, and improvisation shape his setlists.
• Robot Wives and AI (68:31–83:13):
  • Spiraling from a news item about male scientists working on pregnancy-capable robots (to “replace women”), the segment devolves into a deeply irreverent riff on sex robots, AI, and the future of relationships.
  • The crew debates robot aesthetics, cost, cleanup logistics, and the possibility of “robot pregnancy” by 2026 — all with jokes about Tracy Morgan, Robert Doggy Jr. (Downey), Marvel, and why women scientists aren’t working to “replace men.”
  • Extended visual gags over “magnetic faces” and customizable robot parts, with comparisons to Kelly LeBrock (Weird Science) and Peyton Manning, pepper the segment.

"February of 2026. Women, you have gotten to the point now where there are groups of men who spent ages researching, learning, getting degrees, and their one goal with their science is to replace you." – John Holmberg (69:12)

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5. Brady’s and Friends’ Relationships: Preferences and Insecurities (84:04–91:04)

• Who Would You Build?: The talk of robots segues into who the crew (and their wives) would design as their ideal partner, yielding jokes about bestiality, furries, and absurd animal-male hybrids.
• Twinkies, Eyebrow-Grooming, Gender Norms: Jokes about current standards of male appearance, "kin shaping,” and complaints about men being “too emotional” for women now.

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6. Classic HMS Bits: The Brady Report & Shock Radio Content (96:20–122:41)

• The Brady Report (96:20–101:50):
  • The team riff on National Radio Day, the decline of radio, podcasting, the locality of radio, and how corporate decisions often clash with real audience interests.
• Wacky News Bits:
  • Absurd stories about Amazon anvils, Walmart radioactive shrimp, school shootings, ribeye steak truck fires, and Peace Corps rejections for kidney stones, all mined for comedic gold.
• Classic “Shocking” Video Reactions:
  • The group reacts to bizarre and gross videos sent in by listeners, ranging from TikTok twerking to explicit adult material — a signature HMS shock-jock segment.

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7. Family Sitcom Challenge & Rock Wars (156:33–166:17)

• Rock Wars Segment:
  • Each co-host proposes a fitting theme song for “The Bogan Family” TV sitcom, triggered by the mounting bizarre details of Brady’s family.
  • Picks include:
    • Brett: “Institutionalized” by Suicidal Tendencies (winning track)
    • Brady: “Crazy Train” by Ozzy Osbourne
    • John: “Looking at the World Through Rose Colored Glasses” by Frank Sinatra

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8. Final Reflections & Standout Quotes

• The show returns continually to the theme of self-deception and the difference between how people remember/portray their families and the often-darker reality.
• John’s refrain: “When things don’t add up like that, you gotta go, nope, doesn’t make sense. Start over.” (172:25) typifies the show’s demand for honesty, comedic prodding, and relentless curiosity.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Brady’s Family Confusion:

• "You went yesterday and you did a little questioning. Yeah. And you asked about. And you showed me a picture. Crazy grandma sister and mom. Crazy Grandma Ruth." – John Holmberg (04:03)
• “My family is positive my grandpa killed my great grandfather. … Burned him in a barn with his polio. One arm. One dead arm and one good arm. … Everybody’s asking, how do we find out the truth?” – John Holmberg (17:06)

Sex Robots & AI:

• “February of 2026. Women, you have gotten to the point now where there are groups of men who spent ages researching, learning, getting degrees, and their one goal with their science is to replace you.” – John Holmberg (69:12)
• “I would build her to have two good kidneys and I’d swipe one.” – John Holmberg riffing on robot spouses (81:09)

Comedy Industry Real Talk:

• “Too many chefs in the kitchen giving too many bad ideas that worked in one place. It’s not one size fits all.” – Frank Caliendo on radio decline (96:47)

Pop Culture Parody:

• “You know One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest? It was beautiful.” – John Holmberg, mocking the myth of the “nice” 60s mental institution (58:54)

Social Critique:

• “We just want safe streets for our teens. OK, what about them? Well, not them. We don’t care about that. Just our streets.” – John Holmberg, on community activism (34:23)

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Additional Timestamps for Key Segments

• Brady’s Grandma Saga: 00:45–22:00
• Photo Radar Story: 41:00–48:25
• Frank Caliendo Joins: 62:01–84:00
• AI Sex Robot Segment: 68:31–83:13 (Notable for peak absurdity)
• Rock Wars (Family Sitcom Song): 156:33–166:17

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Tone and Style

The show is irreverent, darkly comic, and densely packed with pop culture references, self-deprecating humor, and sharp asides. The hosts lean hard into black comedy, interrogating taboo family history with relentless sarcasm and directness. The presence of Frank Caliendo brings an extra layer of improvisational, voice-driven comedic riffing.

If you want to understand why HMS is Arizona’s preeminent “disturb as many listeners as possible” morning show, this episode is a masterclass in the art of mining trauma for humor, resisting political correctness, and keeping the banter rapid-fire and boundary-pushing.

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For First-Time Listeners

This episode serves as both a deep-dive into personal histories (sometimes uncomfortably so), a mirror for wider social commentary, and wild morning radio, complete with explicit bits, pop culture callouts, and insider radio jokes. It’s a great crystallization of the show’s tone: chaotic, boundary-testing, and brutally honest—even when the hosts themselves refuse (or are unable) to push past their own family “rose-colored glasses.”

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Closing

To sum up, this episode is a riotous, often envelope-pushing survey of modern American familial weirdness, set against a backdrop of improvisational comic brilliance and spicy local color. Whether you came for laughs, shock value, or a sociological case study of Midwestern dysfunction, you’ll get your fill here.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady Bogan]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brett Vesley]

For your next big road trip.

[John Holmberg]

Don't miss out. The Labor Day Valley Chevy sales event is going on now at all 13 Valley Chevy dealers. Visit your Valley Chevy dealer today. It's John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the core. He's not going to be back on the court immediately, but in a few months time he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain you've been living with the Core Institute celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do. Again, go to the core institute.com all right. HMS podcast time again. It'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Well, just in case you haven't been paying attention or if you've been mia, we'll let you know that Frank Caliendo is going to be performing at the Desert Ridge Improv this Friday and Saturday night. So tune in. Frank's going to be in with the guys all week long and just maybe we'll have tickets for you to go catch Frank Live up north at Desert Ridge for the complete lineups. And for tickets go to standuplive.com Desert Ridge Improv and tempeimprov.com hey, you want to win? $979. Well, check this out. Handle the Heat is back with another chance to win and another chance to check out a Holmberg special on the menu at Native Grillin Wings. That's right, join the HMS crew at Native Grillin Wings during one of our 4U brews for a chance to participate in Handle the Heat. That's Holmberg's Hot Wing eating contest. For details on all the contest rules, head to 98kupd.com think you can handle the heat? Well, bring your appetite and find out. It's all brought to you by native GR Grilling wings. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group. And Doug hopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this, though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd have just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house, cash. As is. You don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1-800-sale now you've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Wednesday. It is 5:45. This is the morning sickness. My name's John Holmberg. There's Brady Bogan, There is Brett Vesley, and there's big Dick Toledo. We are ready to go for yet another glorious day here in paradise. Definitely. For sure. Those of you who joined us yesterday, I already email. First email of the day. I have to catch up on the app because of my job. But the reason Brady doesn't remember his grandma's and grandpa's wedding. People jump right into it. Grandma's grandma's Brady's new grandma. Then remember Brady's new grandma. Because nobody could find him in the streets. They went on without him. I said, tell Brady that he's got to get through the surgery because we here at Frito Lay almost certainly miss him. Mike the chip guy. Yeah. You can't. You can't put a ding in the Frito Lay stock, Brady. You got to stick around.

[Brett Vesley]

I got this, Mike.

[John Holmberg]

And you said you were just showing me pictures of yesterday. Brady told the stories about his grandma that seemed vague and strange. And lobotomies were mentioned.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Brady couldn't remember his new grandma marrying his new grandpa. But maybe he was there, maybe he wasn't there. A lot of weird. A lot of weird. I don't knows. Like. Like when somebody who's been raped as a child tries to tell stories about their childhood. And we were worried that. And then Brady had repressed memories. But you went yesterday and you did a little questioning. Yeah. And you asked about. And you showed me a picture. Crazy grandma sister and mom. Crazy Grandma Ruth. For no reason at all. On a Shetland pony or something. Was that a donkey? Tijuana. Where was that?

[Brett Vesley]

It might have been Hawaii.

[John Holmberg]

And you showed pictures of your family, Your mom and dad traveling with.

[Brett Vesley]

No, that was just. That was my grandfather and another couple.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. I thought one of them was your dad. Okay. It looks like your dad. All right, so just a couple pictures.

[Brett Vesley]

And then there was one of my dad, but he was a bachelor.

[John Holmberg]

I gotcha. But crazy Grandma Ruth, Grandpa. And a couple of pictures came up. And she's. You know, she seemed like she was, you know, the life of the party, maybe. I don't know. And also not good. But no lobotomy. You found answers.

[Brett Vesley]

Shock therapy.

[John Holmberg]

Shock therapy was a big deal.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Okay. And then what else?

[Brett Vesley]

And she was. When she was committed, at one time, it was at that Warren Harding, but when she died, she was at the walk in the public facility. She went there because my mom said she felt more comfortable told my grandfather at the facility than she did at home.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. That's.

[Brett Vesley]

But then I go, so she choked because I go, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

So John's got a theory that murdered.

[Brady Bogan]

Had her.

[John Holmberg]

Got her out. Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

And she goes. I was actually the first one contacted. It was right around lunchtime. The hospital called her because they're calling everyone. They called the business. Family business.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brett Vesley]

My dad's not there. Grandfather's not there. Grandfather's brother's not there because my mom says it's lunchtime. The men are out having lunch. Not like you have cell phones.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brett Vesley]

So they get a hold of me. Now I got to figure out how to get over there and find out.

[John Holmberg]

And tell everybody the news that Grandma Ruth just choked on a Sammy.

[Brett Vesley]

So my sister remembers it because she went to the funeral. She died in 1971.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. And you did not. Five. Okay.

[Brett Vesley]

My brother and I did not go. My sister said she wanted to go because she wanted to see a dead body.

[John Holmberg]

Cool. Stand by me now or what?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. And she said. She goes. That give me some nightmares for.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. Hot dog.

[Brett Vesley]

A little more surprised than I thought.

[John Holmberg]

But the whole theory that Papalad tried to kill her, at least. Yeah. Not by hand. I'm not saying he did it his physical self, but definitely said, you know, she starts to go, let's let her go. And also I don't buy ever the choice of institution a crazy person likes better than another. Well, one was cheaper than the other.

[Brett Vesley]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

She just felt more. It could have been that.

[John Holmberg]

Both, I'm sure, but.

[Brett Vesley]

Because the other one you can just go into.

[John Holmberg]

Right. But she wasn't volunteering. But crazy people don't usually say, I'm going to walk away from this. You know what? I'm going to. I'm going to test. It's not a retirement home where they're testing out which looney bin they're going to go to. Especially in the early.

[Brett Vesley]

I didn't mean it like that. It's just that she. It was almost like the security side of it. I think that's. My mom was saying she felt because she didn't, she could be there by herself.

[John Holmberg]

As opposed to what?

[Brett Vesley]

Having. My grandfather was very social. I mean, they went out and did an institution. Oh, you're in your own room. You can do an art class. You can keep it to yourself.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. She couldn't do that outside of the institution.

[Brett Vesley]

I guess not. I mean, again, this is a comment my mom.

[John Holmberg]

Because grandpa had too many people over all the time. Not listening to the fact crazy wife said, I can't handle people in the house going to put me in a loony bin. Yeah, that.

[Brett Vesley]

Get a board sister.

[John Holmberg]

And he did. That's my favorite part of the family story. She's like, I can't have Brett. I can't have all these people in the house. I don't know what you're doing. And then what does he do? He invites people over. Hey, do it again. What's going on? You know what? It's the sixties. It's a mad. I'm putting your ass in a loony bin. Oh, I bet. You let me. I'll do you a favor and I'll go see which ones are the best so I can check into one that was not around a long time. Yeah, that was a bad.

[Brett Vesley]

When they divorced, which was, you know, didn't happen too often back then.

[John Holmberg]

No. He couldn't escape it.

[Brett Vesley]

Born plus or 1908.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He was a guy who like, divorce was not an option. Yeah. And so he had to carry looney all over the place.

[Brett Vesley]

So my dad was 12 at the time when they. And then they end up getting back together.

[John Holmberg]

They got divorced, then got remarried.

[Brett Vesley]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Stuck her in a loony bin during that time.

[Brett Vesley]

I. I don't get the. The exact timeline of when they're like, okay, it's time to.

[John Holmberg]

To lunie around for you to spend some time. And so much so he was more than willing to throw a few bucks at shock therapy. This lady threw that in for free. He think so? I don't think so.

[Brett Vesley]

I think he was cutting edge at the time.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, we can run this if you. If you're. This is so much I need to be in on these conversations. You never ask the right question. How in the world was. There has to be two thumbs up coming from a family member.

[Brett Vesley]

And just so you know, the shocks. Shock therapy is coming from me more so than I felt. I talked to my dad and he had mentioned that but my mom, brother or sister didn't specifically recall.

[John Holmberg]

They don't want to talk about that either. But if you know it and your dad knew it. Grandpa was like get her, get her good. What man in the 60s wouldn't have shocked Therapized his wife? Like she's getting a little lippy. We got any treatments for that? And doctor like yes we do, sir. We can do anything we want to a woman in this day and age. If you'd like, we'd electrocute her head and kind of super brain up for a few days. And we could do that every. It was the Botox of the 50s and 60s. We can blast her back into normalcy and that. You know what? I bet she shapes up. It kind of nukes her for a second. And we saw what happened with Japan when we dropped a little nuke on them. Enjoy your car and television.

[Brett Vesley]

The other thing I found out is diving in the family tree on that side was the. My great great grandfather, 15 when he got married.

[John Holmberg]

Nice.

[Brett Vesley]

His wife 23.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, very nice. Oh, a little early. My grandpa was 27. My grandma was 16. They didn't have kids till they were 18.

[Brett Vesley]

Kirby was the one that saw that. Oh my go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She was 15.

[Brett Vesley]

She was 23. May married his teacher.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right?

[Brett Vesley]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Could have been. Yeah. That wasn't. He didn't shock her. That was somebody else. That was different people. Okay.

[Brett Vesley]

That would have been his grandfather.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe he did shock her. Be pretty great. I know if my grandpa had the money and time and option he'd have put. He'd have put a couple of electrodes on my grandma's forehead. That's for sure. Wow. Sure sort of answered a couple more questions. I would have then it brings up more. It brings up a lot more. You would have been a terrible lawyer counselor. It was like we've got. Yeah, I've got 10 or 12 more. I'm like, all right, let's pull the string and. Yeah. Oh, man. Let's get into the real, like, deals with it. It's like, how fed up was Grandpa with Grandma to drop her into an institution and had everybody else go. That's about right. And he's still social afterwards. Like, that's a huge question. Like, you. You right now. Put Ronnie in a mental institution and start having people over to the house afterwards. You look insane person. You look like Dracula. If Brett came in and said, well, put Mathia into a nuthouse last night. Having a party Friday. What? Yeah. She hates being social and I don't. So I took care of it.

[Brett Vesley]

He got an. He got. He was involved in all that, you know, Lions Club.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brett Vesley]

Shriners.

[John Holmberg]

He was a very Brady. It's like you having Sonic Ronnie in a loony bin and you still go about your business. Yeah, that's.

[Brett Vesley]

What are you gonna do? What are you supposed to do?

[John Holmberg]

Right. You're Dracula. You're Dracula. Yes, a little bit. There's some moping that should be time for moping. Put one of those fezes on and go out playing cards with the boys.

[Brett Vesley]

Look, if you don't want to talk to anybody or socialize or.

[John Holmberg]

You don't put them in a loony house for that. There was more of that. Well, there's. I mean, she had.

[Brett Vesley]

It was bipolar or something.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, but think about that. This is where the questions need to come. The answers are very like, oh, no, she just wasn't very social. And he was. So he put her in an institution, gave her electroshock therapy, possibly. There's more to it than that. Well, more to it than. She just didn't like parties. You don't go. You don't get your. You don't get thrown into a jail for lunacy just because you're like, man, my husband's a little more social than I am, and he thought this was the best place for me. There was a lot more to it than that.

[Brett Vesley]

I don't think there was much of a fight of going in there.

[John Holmberg]

No. He probably was, like, threatening.

[Brett Vesley]

She was trying to deal with it also.

[Brady Bogan]

She was social.

[John Holmberg]

Deal with being antisocial. There's more to it.

[Brett Vesley]

Came out of the house at Christmas a couple times.

[John Holmberg]

There's a lot more. The nightmare. Your grandfather was living in that house. Think of what men have tolerated in a house for ages. And you're saying it was trying to make her happy?

[Brett Vesley]

They moved, like, five times.

[John Holmberg]

He's trying to run away from. She kept finding him.

[Brett Vesley]

Here's a house with a pool.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna try and kill her. She probably wasn't. We'll have a little pool party. What do you say there, doll? Yeah. There's a robbery. He lived. Your grandfather lived in a nightmare for a long time at home. Those doors would close. That dude was miserable to the point of like, that's it. You're going to the loony bin. These. The stories are fantastic. Fantastic. It's. It's still super fishy. And there's not a lot of answers because I would be like, I see, here's what I would do. This is just me though. I'd be digging up like you know your aunts and uncles from that same relationship.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The. The. And like try to find friends who knew them like. Like the confidant of your grandfather and just say, I know he's probably way dead, but like you get a family member some writing something that you're. A letter to your grandfather. Your mother did the thing again. Like you try to find some stuff to just say. I. I couldn't live with this one. This would.

[Brett Vesley]

I do have a couple letters from him, my grandfather to his brother when they were selling the family business.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and was she involved or was.

[Brett Vesley]

She was long gone.

[John Holmberg]

Well, okay. Well. Well, none of that matters. He was living his best life at that point.

[Brett Vesley]

He got. When he got remarried was probably two or three years later to Billy was grandma 74. And that's when they decided to sell the family business.

[John Holmberg]

Was grandma Billy nuts too? A little bit. No, no, totally. She was social, normal. Yeah. Like as far as you know.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. Behind the doors.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you know, nobody knows that.

[Brett Vesley]

No, she was a very well respected person.

[John Holmberg]

And okay. Was your other grandma well respected in the community?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, but she was just quiet.

[John Holmberg]

She just. The electricity. Yeah, that's what that does to him.

[Brett Vesley]

Even before that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you're certain? Not so sure. A couple of bunks to the head.

[Brett Vesley]

She's very pretty. High school.

[John Holmberg]

Photos don't say the thing about her figure like you did your an.

[Brett Vesley]

It'll make you get a real nice figure that I can remember when I was five.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you're looking at pictures.

[Brett Vesley]

My sister. My brother says, I remember when. That night we went over to my grandfather's house when he found out the news and stuff to, you know, comfort him, whatever. And my brother says, I'll never forget you. You jumped up on his lap and said, hey papa chick, where's the Grandma's dead.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you were. You were really good at delivering the info. But it wasn't New Grandma. Right. He was already moved on. Happy with this new lady?

[Brett Vesley]

Not yet.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, but he knew her.

[Brett Vesley]

I don't know if they knew each other at that particular time.

[John Holmberg]

He drilled her. So Grandma died like right after the divorce, or was he already divorced from her?

[Brett Vesley]

No, she. They were married.

[John Holmberg]

And then you say a couple years later. Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

On top of 74, 75 is when they got married.

[John Holmberg]

And she died when they.

[Brett Vesley]

They did get married at this chapel at First Community Church.

[John Holmberg]

Did you go? You did not.

[Brett Vesley]

I went to the party afterwards.

[John Holmberg]

But you don't remember New Grandma?

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, I remember Billy, but I don't.

[John Holmberg]

Recall the way that's what we're getting at yesterday. All right, well, there you go. Thank you. Thank you, Brady, once again.

[Brett Vesley]

Got it. Kind of strange.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. You might need electroshock therapy because it's not really straightened out. It just said, here's seven or eight more new doors we've opened, but.

[Brett Vesley]

And they moved to Naples.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. And there was no reason to talk to them ever again. You were going to Naples?

[Brett Vesley]

Every summer, mostly spring break.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. All right. Man, oh, man. It just gets.

[Brett Vesley]

Kept a place up in Columbus.

[John Holmberg]

Steve. See, now this is like somebody who wanted to deal with this better would have best selling books about their family. Like, you would have written some amazing stuff. Everyone in every, like, my family is like, positive my grandpa killed my great grandfather. Like, or some guy who was with us. Like, we weren't sure who this dude is. Burned him in a barn, beat the tar out of him and burned him in a barn with his polio. One arm. One dead arm and one good arm, I'm pretty sure. And it's like legendary. And everybody wants the. Like, everybody's asking, how. How do we find out the truth? The newspaper didn't cover it, right. Nothing was like, there's a body inside a barn that burned, but big deal. It was kind of like he was like the town asshole. And we're not sure if it was his dad, if he found out it was his real dad, if it wasn't crazy stuff. My grandpa was a little nuts too. He used to think he's talked to this wardrobe upstairs in the house. Yeah. Because he thought his mother lived in there. Like her spirit. See, Norman Bates. There was some moments, and I don't.

[Brett Vesley]

Believe my grandfather threw it out of place for him.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, no, no. There was some moments that you. You weren't allowed to touch this. This wardrobe. Yeah, this. This was like hanging dress wardrobe. If you opened it, he'd Lose his mind, because I think she's in there. I, I. I used to theorize as a little kid there were parts of her in there. He loved his mother a lot.

[Brett Vesley]

Maybe that was his Narnia.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I thought, well, there were chunks of her in there. That's my feeling. But if you opened it, he would say, and there were some arguments to be made, that sometimes that room got weird. My mom still says, and I think she was drunk, that they came back from a party and there was a woman in there that told her, she doesn't need to drink that much. And then she went into that closet, shut the door. I'm like, you were drunk. You were young and dumb. No, there was a lady that walked right into that thing. It was full size. Like, it wasn't. You didn't have to step into it.

[Brett Vesley]

It was like.

[John Holmberg]

It was like a closet. She walked in there and never came back. And my mom told my grandpa, I was like, some lady upstairs was just up there talking to me. And he goes, you grabbed her by the arm. Said, you never, ever talk about what's going on. And that thing. Like, oh, what the hell? And my mom, of course, being a 70s woman, said, get your hand. She probably said it. Get your goddamn hands off me. Did she burn her brow right after? Yeah, probably. I should probably just march for now. Immediately after. But my grandpa grabbed her and told her, if you ever open those doors again, you're not allowed in here. And she's like, jesus. Did she open the doors and check it through? Yeah, I was in there all the time. There was a. I think he was storing old lady bits in there. I think, like, there was, like, her larynx, like, you know, Ed Kemper and stuff. Like, he had.

[Brett Vesley]

He'd bugle it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he would. He would probably just. Just to hear her vibrating tones again. Like, her vocal cords. Ed Kemper kept his mother's vocal cords. He cut them out, washed him, and put them in the sink before he called the cops and said, you're not gonna like what I did at all. That was his last kill. Just so happens that while he was slaughtering his mother, his mother's friend came over with some pie. Had to take care of her, too. Just stuffed her in a closet. But then he went right back to work pulling his mom's vocal cords out. Kemper's story is pretty good. Then he just drove away. Called the cops from payphone, said, go look in that house. You're not gonna. It's gross. And then they had to find him like two states over in Colorado. It's great stuff. And that's because people ask questions and then had follow up answers. None of this vague nonsense Brady comes back with. And a picture.

[Brett Vesley]

It's been a while since we talked about it.

[John Holmberg]

Picture of his looney granny on a donkey. Like she hated socializing. She's the life of the party.

[Brett Vesley]

These are the good days.

[John Holmberg]

With that thing when pop Papal chick would give her the eye like, keep it up. Keep it up, bitch. You know what happens when we keep it up. Okay, whoever. Keep it up, bitch. He's looking at me. Yeah, that's right. I'm going to turn you into Ben Franklin's kite in a second. You keep lipping at me. Get on the donkey. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Just don't. Don't attach me to the lamp again. You got it. Papaled was a beast. I wish I'd have met him.

[Brett Vesley]

That he was awesome.

[John Holmberg]

I bet. You better be awesome. You better like him because if you didn't, you realize how crazy that is. I don't think he does. He doesn't. Absolutely not. I don't think you get it. I think you're like, oh, that guy was great. Yeah. Ask grandma Ruth how great he was.

[Brett Vesley]

Trying to fix her.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. How you doing? Do it. I feel a little bit better. All right, let's go out. We're going to Lions Club. It's like Doug Hopkins got a clam bake. It's like Hopkins and Joy. Well, she's acting up a little bit, but I. I zapped her. And we're going to the moose. Okay, I'll get in the car. That's right. You'll get in the car. I'm gonna attach it to the battery in a second. Fantastic stories, though. I just don't think you. These Rockwellian glasses that are rose colored just don't see, you know, at the time. Lunacy.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. Stuff you just didn't.

[John Holmberg]

No. Grandpa was charming with what? Electroshock therapy on grandma is something you guys weren't like. What the.

[Brett Vesley]

No, me. At that particular time. My mom and dad, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But later in life, like you have.

[Brett Vesley]

The truth and I don't.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

The. The other thing is I gotta. You know, my mom was like, gosh, I'm. This is horrible because I gotta figure out the timeline too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, timeline less important than the buzzing. Find out about.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, that's what I'm saying. When. When did she go into the hospital? Was that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Before there.

[John Holmberg]

He had had it with her and he wasn't gonna Divorce. But he put her away so he could live his life.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, maybe after the.

[John Holmberg]

Faster.

[Brett Vesley]

After a few zaps.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

He's like, you know what? I want to remarry.

[John Holmberg]

Seems good again.

[Brett Vesley]

I got a controllable zombie.

[John Holmberg]

She's already got a couple ports like Frankenstein. Every time she acts up, he just wraps her up to the lamp. We get it done.

[Brett Vesley]

She loves Juicy Fruit.

[John Holmberg]

Did you guys have a cellar or a basement that you weren't allowed in? Because grandpa could go bring her back to life, pop some bolts on her neck. She looked like Dale. Grandma's down downstairs again. I'm gonna go check on her.

[Brett Vesley]

He had double kitchens.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I bet he did. And the lights dimmed every once in a while. Oh, don't worry about that. Grandma just got mouthy again. My grandpa was an F stick. He was an F boy. I didn't know that. Saw pictures of my grandpa and his leather. He was an airplane mechanic in the war. Hat on a little sideways, looked like. Looked like Art Gable. 27 years old, comes back from the war, just hosed all of. He was down in New guinea and Australia. He was in World War II. My grandpa was in Australia. That was a party that. That dude. I guarantee you I don't know this for sure, but I know it's true. My grandpa probably had the drippy pee pee 150 times and then married my 16 year old grandma when he came back home. Which, by the way, didn't meet her at 16. She had to be like 14, 15 when he started chatting her up at the movie theater.

[Brett Vesley]

He crabbed up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he crabbed up hardcore down there. Some Southern hemisphere crabs, too. Some of them are Aussie crabs. He probably blew through an aborigine or two and then knocked out a couple Aussie broads, went over to New guinea, whatever lives there. He was popping those two and comes back to Indiana and looks around like, who's that? Oh, she's in ninth grade. Yeah, I'm gonna knock that around too. And then. But he's of course, as you would say about your grandpa, because you're blinded by it. But I wasn't. He was just such a great guy. He was an F boy searching for a romantic summer getaway escape with Rich Girl Summer, the new audible original from Lily Chiu, the exquisitely talented Philippa Sue. Returning to narrate her fifth Lily Chu title. This time, Philippa is joined by her real life husband, Steven Pasquale. Set in Toronto's wealthy cottage country, AKA the Hamptons of Canada, Rich Girl Summer follows The story of Valerie, a down on her luck event planner posing as a socialite's long lost daughter while piecing together the secrets surrounding a mysterious family and falling deeper and deeper in love with the impossibly hard to read and infuriatingly handsome family assistant, Nico. Caught between pretending to belong and unexpectedly finding where she truly fits in, Valerie learns her summer is about to get far more complicated than she ever planned. She's in over her head and head over heels. Listen to Rich Girl Summer now on audible. Go to audible.com richgirlsummer limu gamu and Doug Limu and I always tell you to customize your car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. But now we want you to feel it. Cue the emu music. Limu. Save yourself the money today. Increase your wealth. Customize and save. We say that may have been too much feeling. Only pay for what you need@liberty mutual.com. liberty Liberty, Liberty. Liberty Savings. Very unwritten by Liberty Mutual insurance company and affiliates.

[Brady Bogan]

Excludes Massachusetts.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. Ed Bogan is big time amazing. Yeah, I know. He was probably amazing. You don't want to admit he had adult flaws. Especially that thing where he kept electrocuting his wife for pleasure. That's a pretty good flaw. I like that. It's a good guy. You don't understand. Not saying he wasn't. My grandpa was a good guy too, but he was also an F boy. And you know, I know that because his youngest son's an fboy and drunkle Dennis got something from him. And my uncle Doug was a I want to travel the world and bang everybody for a little while guy. It ran in the family.

[Brett Vesley]

Papilla's personality during the single, you know, like when they broke up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're divorced.

[Brett Vesley]

I'm sure there were some good times during that.

[John Holmberg]

Think about how crazy she had to be when in 1940 something, he goes, I gotta get a divorce, and nobody's doing this, but I gotta get out of this house with this bitch. And then a friend of his with a big stein of beer looked over and goes, you know you can electrocute him, right? What? Tell me more. Yeah, you don't have to divorce him and become the scourge of Columbus. You know, people will look down on your business if you do that, but you can electrocute her. Huh? I'll look into that. And he did. Awesome Papal Ed was a great guy, man. He's doing what every man would do today when it back went back, make America great again when you could look at your wife and go, that is enough. Where are the electrodes?

[Brett Vesley]

In the letter I was telling you about earlier about selling the business to his brother. He was upset because the brother did worked on the books and after the sale everything. My grandfather felt like he didn't get his correct percentage after the deal that it was set up in arts favor his brother.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

And he's basically scolding him in the letter.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, no cussing, little family fight.

[Brett Vesley]

It's like 19.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, yeah, they kept it, they kept it close.

[Brett Vesley]

You were a scout and your scouts are on. This business deal was not being there.

[John Holmberg]

That was back when a boy scout was more about being a scout than it was about telling anybody you were.

[Brett Vesley]

Raped and the oath that you took.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that too.

[Brett Vesley]

He goes, I. I golfed every Tuesday for this business.

[John Holmberg]

What a sacrifice.

[Brett Vesley]

Basically he was saying that every Tuesday was going. Taking clients out. And he goes, I brought the business.

[John Holmberg]

I'm the face and personality of the business. If it wasn't for me, these clients wouldn't have liked us. Because you're a dick is what he was saying.

[Brett Vesley]

But the way after it said and done and the way the sale went down.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

The advantage end up being art band up having to try to.

[John Holmberg]

But you got to read between the lines on that. He was writing a letter going, you are a dead personality. I'm the life of this party. I'm the fun one. Everybody liked being with me. And we hid you in a closet. You come to my house at 5:30 today and I'll take care of this. And he would have electrocuted his brother too. God, these stories are great. Guy just emailed says, forget the Epstein files. I want to know more about Brady's life. I know. It's like opening them. It's like the whole thing's redacted with love glasses. I want that letter because I'll find some stuff in that that you'd be like, no, that's not what that means. And then your brain will go, damn it. It's probably what that means. And you'll hate it. But Ed was. He threw some haymakers. Oh, I love that. Grandpa yours. Wouldn't you like to go back and see the day? He heard the doctor say we can attach it to a car battery and straighten her out a little.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, I'm curious about how.

[John Holmberg]

And just to see his face. You can what? Like he had to go from this is tough to the greatest joy of it. You can do what? Gotta shave her head. Then we're gonna put some Vaseline on It put these big troits. We'll put a rubber chunk in her mouth and we'll tie her up to a car and start it. Then what? I don't know. We'll see. Sometimes it works. Calm her down, because we can't take her here either. I don't know how. You're still married to it. And they electrocuted her. Oh, that's so good.

[Brett Vesley]

I go. I asked my mom, the choking, is that on food or something? She goes, no, it was. It was the medication.

[John Holmberg]

She was getting medication alone?

[Brett Vesley]

Dry throat, she said. But some of the medication. He goes, at the facility that she was at.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

You're not being. There's not so many attendants around there.

[John Holmberg]

You just had medication laying around. You could take any time.

[Brett Vesley]

No, she was giving her medication, and evidently they gave the medication.

[John Holmberg]

She walked away.

[Brett Vesley]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

I saw Cuckoo's Nest. You got it from Nurse.

[Brett Vesley]

Nurse Ratchet.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Or.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then he poured into her throat, and she had to check.

[Brett Vesley]

But this was. A lot of times they just go to your room.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but they had to make sure. If it's a loony bin, they have to make sure you actually take it. You're not giving it to other people.

[Brett Vesley]

Again, that was the story that she got.

[John Holmberg]

Your grandma was killed. None of it makes sense. If she was choking on her medicine, she was murdered. This is great. Brett. I can't keep up. I can't either. It's impossible. I need the Madden chalkboard out here. Here's a guy. Maybe she killed herself. There's the possibility of that. Yeah. Because she was tired of being, you know, part of the grid world. Old Grandma Buzzy over there, Ruth Buzzy, we call her now. Started to make a mockery of your family, but you started it anyway. We all have crazy families, Brad. Eventually, we'll get into your stories. When enough people pass away and the statute of limitations are up, you'll have a few stories about your family, too. But right now, you're not allowed to say a word. But I bet you your grandpa did his share of. They didn't electrocute in your family. They just did some. I mean, they didn't do anything. They did some.

[Brett Vesley]

They were left somewhere.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the women weren't, because women's families will talk. But they were definitely not going out for a few days. You know what I mean? Can't really be seen for four. You get a little mouthy with Brett's grandpa? Eh, you're gonna be. You know, we got a couple steaks in the fridge. We're not gonna eat. Those are for you. Go plaster those on your face and lay down for a little bit. And then a lot of the hand up. Go put your face on. I can barely cover it up. You want another? Oh, God, I have to go to the Lions Club with Giuseppe. You want another? Why don't you just electrocute me like Ed does? Ruth? It costs money.

[Brett Vesley]

Brett, were both sets of grandparents around when that mean that they hang out much?

[John Holmberg]

A little bit. Not. Not too much. Andy said when Brady tells a story about his family, it sounds like when a kid just starts making something up and then. Oh, yeah, and then. Yeah, they were. I was at the party and then this and then. Oh, yeah. Anyway, it's pretty good stuff though. Brady, thanks for following up a little bit on that because I did get a lot of emails from people who listened to the podcast during the day and said, I need more. We all need more. Like sans to the Hourglass, these are the days of Brady's lives. In regards to Brady's families, this is what white privilege sounds like. Is that a black guy? Hey, speaking of white. Yeah, he's definitely not. No white person names their child Abram. Hey, Gilbert moms, where the are you? Thought we were against teen violence. Yesterday was a national news story. Maryville had a couple stabbings going on and I didn't see any of those Postino broads on TV screaming to Mark Curtis that we needed to have another round table. So it's only your kids, you hypocrites. The sale of Jimmy choose, you know. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, she was busy at the. She was online, not reading news stories because her kid made it home okay that day. But it's just our community that matters enough to call the news teen violence. Teen violence. So I guess the Maryvale goons got to work yesterday. Isn't it every day with them?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, currently fourth or fifth story if you scroll on the Arizona's family is that there was a fight at Maryvale School and there was a stabbing. They had shut the school down for a little bit because the kid died and they stabbed him up. And then let's talk about whether it's. That's really what people care about around here. Maryvale stabbing violence is on the rise. No, no, it isn't. And I guess maybe the only argument the Gilbert moms have for being hypocritical and only caring about their kids when they scream about teen violence on the rise and we must do something. Only when it's in your neighborhood, you wretched hypocrite. However, Maryvale didn't even, you know, like you didn't see any roundtables or anything else in defense of the Gilbert moms who throw these types of fits. And remember the. The whole city was in a frenzy because of one fight in Gilbert that went really poorly and a kid died. And it was tragic and it's awful. Happens in Maryvale. They don't drive their Range Rovers over there to help out. They're not gonna. But in again, in defense of them, we're talking about teen violence. And this was Maryvale High School. So it's probably in their mid-20s when they. Not a lot of teens going to high school. Maryville. And it's under the story angry over ticket man steals Tempe photo radar signs. Oh, that dude lost his fender pot or silver pot or something or whatever his name was. He lost his. You know what the thing about this. And I hate this. Yeah. That that story now goes above Maryville. It is. Yeah. All right. Somebody stole a photo radar camera. I get so. I get so frustrated by the, the outrage that pours out of one story. And then it happens in a community that nobody cares about. And they're like, so what? These people are so self centered and disgusting that want to make these gigantic showings. And again, don't forget to turn your ring light on before you go on the Internet to complain because I noticed all of you did. And a campaign to get me fired for saying it. And then the thing that they were. Oh, I can't believe he's. He's making fun of us. And we've got real tragedy in our. I can't believe. We just want safe streets for our teens. Okay, what about them? Well, not them. We don't care about that. Just our streets. Yeah, this dude. False news that was put false or otherwise. They were the ones that couldn't wait to be on tv and they kept flipping that ring light on to look pretty when they complained about their lives. So this dude, Sven Silverstein. What was his name? It's in there somewhere. It's very. It's a. It's. It's like me. It's a Swedish Jewish name. Svend at Silverston. Silverston. Yeah. Sven Silverston is in his work truck in Scottsdale Road and he goes by and gets flashed. It's like, God damn it. Like we all do. When he noticed, ah, I got busted by those stupid cameras. The problem with those are he might have been having a day where his boss and I'm just, you know, hypothesizing speculating here where his boss told him beforehand, Sven, things aren't looking good. We might have to let you go to my best to save you. But we can't have any hiccups, man. None. Get out there in that truck and go. And so he's in his brain driving along and then some robot takes a picture of him and that's, that's going to end his career. That's. His job's over because the ticket comes back like, Sven, come on, I told you we're done here and there. So Sven decides in a very smart way. They didn't talk about this in the news because there's no journalism left. He goes over and instead of destroying the camera, he picked up the signs that say photo radar ahead. And he got rid of those. Now in my mind, I know what Sven's up to. He's basically saying if there's no signs, there can't be a photo radar, there can't be tickets. So if you just make a warning, it has to be. Well, that's the one rule in all of legal versus lawful is that there has to be posted signs. It can be a piece of paper, but they have. We have. We sign our driver's license to them basically saying, and the posted time was down if we wasn't there. Wasn't there? Yeah. If we post a sign, you have to, you've agreed by signing your driver's license to adhere to that sign without any sort of vote or hearing or whatever, you've signed away on your driver's license. The fact that if we post some sort of sign, we can do whatever we want. Now that goes all the way down to if they post a sign at city hall that says we're going to tear this neighborhood down and build two Walmarts. They wouldn't do that because it would be. Everybody lose their minds. But they're allowed to because all they have to do is say, we're gonna have a little city hearing on how we're going to blow this stuff up. That's a far fetched thing. But so photo radar, photo thing ahead. Signs where basically we all agreed when we signed our driver's list, Sven sees that thing and goes, well, I know very little about the law, but I know just enough to know that if they don't have something that warns me about that ticket, I can get out of it. And I'm on my last legs at wherever Sven works. You forget photo radar. People who like it. And I know I'll get to text and stuff well, he should have been speeding. He was in a work truck. Probably true. Probably true. Have you ever done it? I'm standing up for another Swedish Jew. That's all. I'm going down the road. I knew that's where this was going. Our sweet Jews are, I'd say Jewish. Combine them that way, but that's the same thing. Swede Jews. Yes, Our Nordic Jewish friends. Because I've got a Swedish. I'm very Swedish, but I've got a Jewish name. So these Swede Jews like me and Sven Silverton, I understand where his brain works. You people. Us people. How dare you? I'm telling you right now, these photo radar things are going to turn. They're Jim Crow against us Swedish Jews. But, yeah, that's what I think. That's what Sven was thinking. You gotta. You gotta dig deep. You can't just see a guy. Everybody just assumes. Dude went nuts over photo radar. There's a lot more to this. He'd probably just take this little misdemeanor ticket if it was normal and. Ah, crap. Talk to the boss. I got screwed. But he might have gotten in trouble, but might have wrecked the truck last time. And now this thing flashes me like I was going 53 and a 40. Damn it. I got to get rid of this. It's like getting rid of a body. He's going to lose his job. So what's he do? He sees the sign. He. Don Quixote. He's that you get pulled over later because he got caught by some camera on a. On a car dealership on Scottsdale Road ripping up the sign.

[Brett Vesley]

Porsche dealership.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but it was. It's one of those sandbag signs. It's temporary. Yeah, I was gonna say, because that thing, he just rips it right out of the ground. Well, they have them all over temporary.

[Brett Vesley]

So he could say, okay.

[John Holmberg]

I thought it was one of those permanent.

[Brett Vesley]

Saying it was knocked down.

[John Holmberg]

He was basically saying it wasn't there. Somebody took it. No, he walked away with it. He took it down. He took it. His goal was, if there's no sign, how was I supposed to know he was. He was setting up his argument in court. That's my guess for Sven, that's the only reason to go back and take the sign. A very wise Swedish Jew was about to go to a courtroom. He was setting up his case. He's got a little lawyer in him with that whole Silverton part. Well, yeah. I mean, the only time you see the name Silverton is usually next to hockey and Brown. It's like usually a law firm, Silverton is very rarely driving associates. And this poor guy, the Swedish part of him took over because he's working in a work truck. So the Swedish part is dominant. The Jewish part lives dormant in there, but occasionally pops up and these lawsuits pop in. It's a good move. If it wasn't for those. I'm telling you right now, this gets deeper. Riddle wrapped in an enigma. What was the dealership? What was the car next to the sign? He stole Porsche. Germans got him again. Got them again. They're after us. They'll never let go. And who ratted them out? The Porsche dealership. Silverton, eh? I believe we have some cameras that might have your assailant. Let's take a look. Yes, right over there by the nine. 14. Susan's cars in the spare time. Susan? Well, she gotta sell something. Yeah, Susan's over there selling cars. We had a man outside of the dealership, looked a little. You done stealing signs? I guess he thought it said free sign. And those people can't let that go. His favorite player, NBA, is the free throw. I'm just playing along. That's the German. Thanks, Brad. The German car dealership ratted out the Jewish guy who was taking the sign to try to forge a case in. In a court. Sven, I'm on your team if you need a witness. I was behind you and you were speeding because I was tailgating. I was pushing you.

[Brett Vesley]

They probably didn't mind him moving that sign because it's blocking all those beautiful.

[John Holmberg]

Cars as the Germans did. They like the sign. They like signs. Octung Yudin. They like signs. But I'm saying, that poor bastard, I saw that last night. And I'm like, man, get the backstory and give this dude a break. Give him the ticket. Let him go. He's probably under some heat. Those work truck deals, man. I know guys who run work trucks. I get emails from all the time. You get caught speeding, they'll put governors on them. Sometimes these poor pricks have to drive around with limited cruddy air conditioning in these giant diesels at 55 miles an hour maximum. Because if they speed, the company doesn't want the tickets. So Sven got a truck. Like, don't get caught doing anything. Don't. Don't wreck the. I knew a dude who bumped into something and got fired. Long day. You told us about it at the beer release a couple years ago. Yeah, I got fired. I'm like, oh, my God, what happened? He goes, I drive a work truck. I had a ticket a year ago. And then I bumped into another car, and they let me go. They don't. They don't tolerate it anymore. You can't speed in a work truck. This guy says, that's crazy talk, John. I speed because I'm in a work truck. I've got stuff to do. I'm at work. People always try to cut off the work truck, and then we speed up and flip you off. I'm speeding right now. Now. And texting you this. Yeah, see, that's how it works, Miguel, man. That's how man does a job. Sven got caught. Sven got caught. And then his inner juice said, I think we can fix this. All you got to do is go over there and take that sign. If there's no sign, there's no court case. You know what I'm saying? And then Sven's like, he's right. My inner Jew is right. And we're back there, and he got that sign, put this in the back of the work truck. And then he noticed, oh, crap, there's a second sign. Ah. Had to go swipe something else. And he's, well, I might as well just try to get this camera. I can't do that. And meanwhile, the Germans. What's going on out there? That very pale Juden is stealing signs. Can't be in the sun. Not long, because he's Swedish. So he's making it too sweet. Making great haste to get that sign off, kicking those sandbags. And then he had to get sandbags. Can't leave sandbags behind. That's proof. Probably had some sandbags signed. So now he's got felony charges against him. Poor Sven. And it's all because these stupid photo radar tickets. And I don't. I'm a fan of the police. I'm a fan of the cops in a big way. But that money grab needs to be stopped. You guys do your jobs without robotics and cameras and everything else. You're wasting taxpayer money with a whole working truck that you just put a camera in to do the job. Stop it. We've got Germans for that. Their cameras were up, too. We didn't need you. Let's see some. Let's see a little grace here for my Swedish Jew said, man, you Jews are protective of a couple bucks there, Silverton Holmberg. No, no, we were protecting our money. He's protecting this gig. Poor bastard got caught by a robot. It's one thing at least. If there was red and blues in his rearview mirror, he could have stepped on it, tried to get away. I don't know what he would have done. But there's talk his way out of it. There's pro photo radar people. Wow. Someone worse than Toledo. If there is anybody going, I like the radar. It keeps the streets safe. That's the mother you never want to meet. You know who that is? That's somebody who intentionally purchased one of those glow in the dark flag men to tell everybody else. I'm not really watching my kid that closely, so keep an eye out. If it goes in the road, they put glow in the dark men with flags. They're not watching the kids very well, but they're always out there to yell at you when you go flying by. Exactly. I'll tell you one of the biggest sources of joy you can have in your life. But I mean, this goes beyond any drug or anything else. If you're on drugs, replace it with what I'm about to tell you. Drive through a neighborhood in Gilbert and hit those things. Nothing Better hit the little green flag guys. Oh, that's awesome. They're running right over too. Tires and everything. Especially got a jeep. Destroys them.

[Brett Vesley]

You don't want to do that in Gilbert.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Brett Vesley]

You'll get shot.

[John Holmberg]

No, you won't. You'll get yelled at and they'll call the news. They'll turn their ring cameras on. You won't believe what I just.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, yeah, you won't get away with it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they'll have other ring cameras.

[Brett Vesley]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

But they'll have the ring lights and their Instagram post about how their lives have changed. And then they'll hold up the little yellow man with tire tracks on them. Meanwhile, you can still hear me laughing all the way down Gilbert road. I'm over by action ride shop at that point, just laughing my ass off. You believe that? I hit like four of those little yellow men. Because women don't want to watch their kids anymore. They let they empower the glow in the dark man with a flag.

[Brett Vesley]

That mother fudger. He ran over four of them.

[John Holmberg]

That's Gilbert. Dang it.

[Brett Vesley]

We're gonna get him.

[John Holmberg]

It's Gilbert. Strong talk. Brady, you be careful. Yes. Van, you have support from cupd. Which of us have can say we've never been guilty of wanting to kick those sandbags out of the way and throw one of those signs into the garbage? Who amongst us can say we've never wanted to get rid of photo radar makes the streets safe. Somebody electrocute that bitch. Where's Brady's grandpa when we need him? Let's get a wake up song. 5, 8, 5 9,800 and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this upt morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Thank you very much, Katie and the hobs. That is a miles to nowhere helping us start today. And off we go. And look, a special guest has joined us hing away. Sorry, it happens. I'm a professional. That was planned or just happened. No, I. It.

[Brady Bogan]

That was real, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Cuz you did. You cupped it.

[John Holmberg]

No, I turned the mic off and everything. I'm not one.

[Brady Bogan]

I thought people heard that.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe.

[Brett Vesley]

Maybe in the back.

[John Holmberg]

Background noise sounds like somebody did along far away. Oh, okay. But that was to us. You see, you. You get to see the magic. Whereas somebody on the air just said, hey, Brett just burped.

[Brady Bogan]

Problem is I had one headphone on one headphone.

[John Holmberg]

So you heard the real.

[Brady Bogan]

And thus I heard the room tone.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not doing thunder behind that. Yeah. I'm not doing these sandler jokes where just a burp randomly is my hilarity because I've got nothing left.

[Brady Bogan]

My 19 year old daughter, because that loves the bird.

[John Holmberg]

Is she a big burp? Yeah, it's just.

[Brady Bogan]

We'll just belch one out.

[John Holmberg]

You've got to put an end to that, you pig. There's nothing worse. We have a couple in the building here who think it's funny of women who just blow out massive birds. What do they look like? It's. Did you just say.

[Brady Bogan]

I say, what do they look like?

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Because if there's a real down, you know, a lower level.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Then it's a pig. If it's super hot chick. Pig still in the middle, kind of.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, you think?

[Brady Bogan]

I think. It doesn't bother me.

[John Holmberg]

Super hot girl can't do it because it ruins her.

[Brady Bogan]

That's what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

Pig can't do it because pig.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it just solidifies pig middle grass. That's an interesting.

[Brett Vesley]

Can't help it.

[Brady Bogan]

It's kind of. But you're also looking friend zone chick.

[John Holmberg]

That you might have a little extra with.

[Brady Bogan]

Knows the sport but uses the terminology a little weird.

[John Holmberg]

How about that? You know what?

[Brett Vesley]

You might laugh at it.

[John Holmberg]

There was a girl I worked with at Tony Romas that was a diet coke drinker like Me.

[Brady Bogan]

Tony Roma's a place for pigs.

[John Holmberg]

A place for people. And she was really cute.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you almost Adam west that?

[John Holmberg]

Yes, I did. Tony Romas a place for pigs. Yuck. Anyway. Holy belcher. Yeah, I don't know. I almost. Adam was. I. I did, though. Holy gas release. She was cute. And in the midst of a little night hanging out together, there was a little making out.

[Brady Bogan]

And then after each playing Atari.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we played. So, yeah, it was back in the early fall. Yeah, I sold her some. The tickets to the Van halen show for $9. You're like, Damone now or what? Fast time. But right after we're making out, she's sitting on the couch, she takes a swig of Diet Coke, just lets out a Barney from the Simpsons Burp. And I'm like, that's disgusting. You do it. I'm like, not on you. Yeah, but you're gross.

[Brady Bogan]

That's like, this is something Rocco, my giant dog, would do. Like, if you were human, I would not date you.

[John Holmberg]

I like when big dogs like Rocco. Rocco's 200 pounds. He's a man. It's Shaggy Da.

[Brady Bogan]

He's 140 pounds, but there's so much fluffy looks. 200.

[John Holmberg]

Google the Shaggy Da fist fight, which you and I have gone back and forth in the past, but the Shaggy Da fist fight is one of the funniest silly things that ever was in movies because the dog gets up and goes Queensberry on a guy in a lawyer's office and throws a couple punches and then runs away on all fours. And I'm like, he can box, but he can't run on his back legs. Just give me. I'm not that dumb. But your dog, I'm convinced, could at any point get up and punch me with a couple of, like, a one.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah. I think he has the move.

[John Holmberg]

There's a man in that thing. Yeah. That is not a dog. There's a dude. We haven't found the zipper yet. That's the only thing he does really well.

[Brett Vesley]

The two men in there, it's.

[John Holmberg]

It's. You think it's a two.

[Brady Bogan]

You think it's a two person horse costume from Halloween?

[John Holmberg]

Two Asians maybe. And that's why he's not speaking, because he doesn't know what Frank's calling him.

[Brady Bogan]

He can hang from rings, so it's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you can do the Iron cross. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

So there's. There's a chance he's that or Russian.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

So.

[John Holmberg]

And anytime the TV's on the fritz, he fixes it this Is the scene. This is. I love it. The lease law. Call the pound. I already did, sir. Dick Van Pat is waiting outside, eyebrow acting, out of my way. He just. It's a dog.

[Brett Vesley]

That was a good.

[John Holmberg]

It's a dog. It's a. I think it's a bearded collie or an old English sheepdog. And he's completely a dog. And then they cut to this thing where he gets up and punches a dude with a right 70. Sound effects, too.

[Brady Bogan]

Do that again because that's a stunt guy in for Dick Van Patten too.

[John Holmberg]

Right? He turns like he doesn't take the punch from the shaggy.

[Brady Bogan]

The way he turns, it looks like it's blurred.

[John Holmberg]

Call the pound. I already did, sir.

[Brett Vesley]

The truck is waiting outside.

[John Holmberg]

And ironically, ironically, it's a lot like Brady's grandpa and his crazy grandma Ruth. Whenever he said, I just called the loony bin. They're way on their way. You have missed the last.

[Brett Vesley]

I just did, sir.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but hold on. One more thing. The. The guy who summons.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

With the mustache. I think that's the guy who plays Cold Meiser.

[John Holmberg]

Cold Meiser from voice. I forgot his name.

[Brady Bogan]

Mustachio, come in here, please.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I can't remember that guy's name. Oh, Raymond. And it's clearly in violation of the leash law. Call the pal.

[Brady Bogan]

I want him to grab a snowball and just.

[John Holmberg]

Or something.

[Brady Bogan]

And Dick Van Patten is a little heat. Misery. Okay, so I missed the last two days.

[John Holmberg]

Last two days. Brady. Brady. You know, Brady, you're a Midwesterner too. I am. And the goal in the Midwest, especially with a family with a little affluence or in a neighborhood that's nice, has a country club membership and is a local business, is to keep up appearances. We don't talk about the thing. Okay. And Brady's had a few stories in the past. They. They brought in a bunch of drug addicts. There's some. There's a lot that happened in Brady's life that's weird. We're pretty sure his dad was part of the Cuban revolution.

[Brady Bogan]

Awesome.

[John Holmberg]

He's one of the only Americans that was allowed in Cuba in 1957 and then went back in 59. This is Thorpe. Torp. Yeah, Torp. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Jim Torp.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, Jim Thorpe. Yeah. And then. Wait a second. It makes a lot more sense. Yeah. So he was down in Cuba with a friend from Chicago, and the whole family was like, that makes sense. Go to Cuba. And then he met the guy in Chicago. Okay. Bottom line is he met someone in Chicago. They went To Cuba. Revolution happened. They come back and goes, that was crazy. And then go back after the revolution when people weren't allowed in anymore and he was. So he was on Castro.

[Brady Bogan]

Torp was.

[John Holmberg]

Torp was. Yeah. And Brady's never asked any. Brady doesn't ask questions.

[Brady Bogan]

So I see.

[Brett Vesley]

We got, you know, a couple of pictures.

[Brady Bogan]

Listen, I'm Italian. I know how that goes.

[John Holmberg]

That's what Brett says. You don't, you know. You don't want to know. We just found my Uncle Phil came back.

[Brady Bogan]

That's what from. What? What you think he came back from?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the crazy thing that you had a funeral for Uncle Phil, if I remember right. Right. Didn't you. You didn't say there was a death or an announcement. It was assumed.

[Brady Bogan]

No, he showed up at a funeral. No, he showed up at a funeral.

[John Holmberg]

He just showed up out of the blue?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, yeah. He was on witness protection. He showed up.

[John Holmberg]

Well, didn't he.

[Brady Bogan]

Have you showed me a video?

[John Holmberg]

Uncle Phil was Uncle. What's the catchphrase? You can't get cheese. Can't get cheese in Chicago. When I go to me. So he was the cheese monger of Chicago and then disappears.

[Brady Bogan]

I. Mr.

[John Holmberg]

Cheese Meister. But he left, right? He was gone.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, he was just gone. He was gone. Nobody knew where he was. But then he started, like, integrating himself back to where he wasn't supposed to be.

[John Holmberg]

In Oklahoma.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, well, he was in Oklahoma. Yeah, I've seen articles about him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I was just gonna say.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Before the. Before the Internet was where it is now, where everybody was on it. There was a. There was a phase where some people were getting some notoriety on the Internet, and. But it wasn't so public that everybody knew to go look for it, so things didn't go viral. But he would be there shaking a pizza, and.

[John Holmberg]

You couldn't get cheese in Oklahoma City without going through him. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

It was unbelievable.

[John Holmberg]

And then. And then he shows up at your house.

[Brady Bogan]

He had business problems.

[John Holmberg]

Go figure.

[Brady Bogan]

He had business problems and there were articles written about him about it. That's not his real name. And then, like, all this stuff.

[John Holmberg]

So they figured him out where he was, and he had to leave there, too. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, I think the rest of the people that were after him were dead, but I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

And then he just goes, ah, it. What's Frank doing? And then he went up to you.

[Brady Bogan]

He went, lived with my dad and then tried to scam the government.

[John Holmberg]

It's all.

[Brady Bogan]

Everything about it is the most ridiculous reverse Hallmark movie ever.

[John Holmberg]

Hold Brady's beer. His grandpa killed his grandma. Brady will not admit this. He put her in and out of a loony bin where he was given her electroshock therapy. Brady's family's answer to that was, well, she was antisocial because that's why you put someone in a loony bin. They're just not really up to snuff.

[Brady Bogan]

On the part of the family. From Ohio. From Ohio. Yeah. Makes a lot of sense.

[John Holmberg]

Makes all the sense in the world.

[Brett Vesley]

Country club, Cincinnati and Columbus.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the. All the. All the, you know, the. You got to keep up appearances that.

[Brady Bogan]

All went up to Cleveland. Trust me.

[John Holmberg]

She choked to death taking medicine in a loony bin.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, that's.

[Brett Vesley]

I was like, five.

[John Holmberg]

It's a murder.

[Brett Vesley]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

You're Italian. Look at the files. We've looked at this. It was very Epstein and everything's kosher. But the whole family is fine with these answers. And why did grandpa have her in there? That's a little antisocial. He was electrocuting her back to normal. There were no electrodes.

[Brett Vesley]

There were no electrodes.

[Brady Bogan]

They were never on the desk.

[John Holmberg]

Who was in her cell with her.

[Brett Vesley]

Luxurious room?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was a. And she had her own suite, evidently, at these. Because, you know, in the 60s. 60s, those looney bins were known for their resort like stays, you know, they were beautiful, beautiful places.

[Brady Bogan]

I've seen One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was beautiful.

[Brett Vesley]

Juicy Fruit.

[John Holmberg]

They turned most of them into hotels afterwards because they were just so. I mean, the love of the top.

[Brett Vesley]

We made great things. The Warren G. Harding Hospital was.

[Brady Bogan]

You can get points.

[John Holmberg]

He finally asked questions yesterday. He doesn't remember his new grandma. If you hadn't. Did you get a new grandma ever, growing up like, Grandma.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Grandpa. No. Meeting her like. That's a big.

[Brady Bogan]

We got a Grandma Ann. Yeah, she was.

[John Holmberg]

She just showed up.

[Brady Bogan]

She was Greek and super. Well, I don't know if she just showed up. I don't know. It was. But I. I might have only known her.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. So you didn't know that. That makes sense.

[Brett Vesley]

I don't recall the first day that I met her.

[John Holmberg]

No, the. Not the first day. The wedding. The new grandma integrating into the families. Like just sort of. I don't know. New grandma's a big deal.

[Brett Vesley]

I was eight.

[John Holmberg]

Eight. That's memory days. But.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, but you.

[John Holmberg]

And you were wet in the bed till you were 10. There's a lot going on. You didn't ask enough questions with.

[Brett Vesley]

I remember the party, the reception part of.

[John Holmberg]

But I Don't remember the party. I had a big party and everyone.

[Brett Vesley]

It was just. It was a golden.

[John Holmberg]

No drinks. No drinks. I don't want you to do this, but I want you to do this is to go to a therapist and find out about the bedwetting, the repressed memories, what really happened. Because the bedwetting thing is huge.

[Brady Bogan]

I think most of those memories are in your kidney.

[John Holmberg]

It's just taken on so much weight.

[Brett Vesley]

Overwhelmed. Finally.

[John Holmberg]

I can't take it because there's kind of like. Yes. Sort of remember grandpa's wedding. That's a lot. Like, to me, that's a thing. That's like one you'd remember. That's a big thing. Well, it was Grandpa, weddings are small.

[Brett Vesley]

It was a very small deal, sure, but they still.

[John Holmberg]

You were still part of it. Doesn't matter if you were the only one there.

[Brett Vesley]

If I was. I wasn't like the flower kid or anything like that.

[Brady Bogan]

I remembered that you'd have to remember the grandpa wedding just for the dancing. Right?

[John Holmberg]

It's Benny Goodman and it's one of your first weddings. Yeah. 1908, guy gets married. It's. You're gonna remember the weirdness of that in the 70s. That's pretty awesome. Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Your grandpa said it was a low key deal.

[John Holmberg]

But it doesn't matter how high key or low key it was if you were part of it.

[Brett Vesley]

But I don't think I was.

[John Holmberg]

That's the thing I'm talking about. You don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

I think you were.

[John Holmberg]

And you am I wrong. You hear this. Your honor, a hostile witness. If you're not sure you were there, that's even weirder.

[Brett Vesley]

Okay, no.

[John Holmberg]

If you were at your grandpa's wedding. Now you just. I wouldn't know if you were there. You are.

[Brady Bogan]

Like when my dog, I try to pick him up to take him for a walk. Like you just went, hey, just quit.

[John Holmberg]

Or like Grandma Ruth after the electroshock therapy. She's just like, get her in my lumpy arms and put her in bed. Bed. Baby. Ruth. Ruth, baby. Anyway, Frank is here this morning and he's going to be at Desert Ridge Improv this weekend doing what he does best, which is great. Could you ever. Which is just awesome. Which is good. Whatever. Which is hopefully better than what you're hearing this morning.

[Brett Vesley]

It's a whole new show this time.

[John Holmberg]

Is that true?

[Brady Bogan]

Different stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's a lot. Like, what is new? That we're just a teaser.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm trying to think what.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta go look at it because.

[Brady Bogan]

I haven't been on stage for a while. There's a lot more Biden stuff. There's a lot more Biden and Trump back and forth.

[John Holmberg]

Do you do like, do you tape it at home? How do you go about.

[Brady Bogan]

I bring Patrick Keane with me now, so George Cantor is going to be there too, but Patrick Keane is, he's. He takes notes in the back. So I bring them almost everywhere and then we go over so I don't have to listen to myself really struggle. But whenever there's new stuff, we go over it and then try and work. Hey, what can this brand.

[John Holmberg]

He punches stuff up with you.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And he's on the road with you.

[Brady Bogan]

He's been doing a lot.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's great.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, it's a much. It's. It's helping me because I, I would do, you know, 10 minutes of improvisational comment. Ten minutes, you know, 10 different minutes and I wouldn't remember any of it. I just, sometimes I try and tape it.

[John Holmberg]

I just. Does he tape it and then he watches?

[Brady Bogan]

He does sometimes. But, but we just go through, we go through the, the main big differences and we'll try, we'll set things up and talk about, hey, is he a.

[John Holmberg]

Voice guy or a joke guy? He's a joke guy. That's good. So he can see those.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, very funny. Lots of great reversals on his jokes and stuff. He's like, like his stuff he puts up on state or on, on social media be like his jokes just written out. Kind of like Jeff Dye does.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

We write out the joke and he'd be like, I'm a multifaceted comedian. Oftentimes after the show, people ask me what else I do for a living.

[John Holmberg]

So it's a great joke.

[Brady Bogan]

They're great jokes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's a good, really good joke. But you have in the past, prior to him, him tapes and then you go watch it.

[Brady Bogan]

No, I didn't. I just didn't. And that's why I stag.

[John Holmberg]

So going over, like when you go over all this new stuff. Yeah. For Saturday or Friday. What that place, the desert ridge that you're going to be at. You. How do you integrate all that? Cuz your comedy is. For years we've never talked about that, but your comedy is timing. Timing.

[Brady Bogan]

It's. People think it's all made up and some of it is, but that's how it gets. That's part of my problem with my act is like why I don't love where my act is overall is. It works really great live. It's really fun. But I don't know what you put it in to make it a special because it just. It's kind of back and forth kind of thing. So the live, if you try and find snippets, and it's like, well, you need four different things added all together by the time you get to the fifth. And then the fifth one seems really good. But you need those other parts leading up to. It's like we did. You know, like, we do back and forth, and you. You build that. And then by the end of the show with the callbacks and stuff. But you need those just. You need the buildup. So.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but it's crazy to think that you're, like, sitting there, you know, analyzing prior to Friday night. Like, all right, what do I do here? What's this? And it's Friday.

[Brady Bogan]

It'll be Friday morning that I finally get into.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Friday afternoon. Don't lie to yourself. Yeah. Friday in the dressing room.

[Brady Bogan]

Have a plan. But I think we have the dogs getting a vet thing, so.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. You got stuff to do.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So the audience will get your best.

[Brady Bogan]

Make it in. And Robert Doggy Jr. All right, so here's the deal. I wet myself. Now, I didn't actually wet myself. I wet the ground, and then I walked through it.

[John Holmberg]

Robert doggy. Robert Doggy Jr. Are you doing an elementary school Robert Doggy?

[Brady Bogan]

I say no to drugs.

[John Holmberg]

Kids, where is the cartoon with Robert Doggy Jr. Yeah, that's a thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Could be the pup vengers. Right?

[John Holmberg]

Okay, we've lost you, but this is a great idea. You're gonna. Yeah. We'll never be allowed to talk to you, but at the same time, it's fantastic because it's gonna make you a billion dollars. But we could never talk again because of brand liability. Sued. No, he wouldn't sue you. Not Doggy Jr. Oh, the pup vengers. Marvel would probably be all over pup.

[Brady Bogan]

Marvel's Pup Vengers.

[John Holmberg]

Adorable. Who would like. Ruffalo would have to be, like, the worst parrot ever. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know if I want to repeat what you just said. I don't feel good about it.

[John Holmberg]

I would watch that. Chris Evans would be.

[Brady Bogan]

I see this as an absolute sin.

[John Holmberg]

Five years ago, we lost. Parrot is moral. He's got morality issues with what's going on.

[Brady Bogan]

I want a cracker, but it's too many carbs, and I'm trying to eat well around you.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Oh, my God. See the pup vengers. This has to be A thing. And we go through the whole deal. Yeah. Because you got Chris Evans, which I think giant green parrot Chris Evans is one of the biggest wastes of time ever. But it's so good. Good.

[Brady Bogan]

You have those two.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, everybody's got them that does the voice stuff. But that one is like, my God, there's nothing you can do with a voice. Do this all day. Yeah. And it's great. It's a little Gruden. Yeah, it is. I'll tell you what, bring it here.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I spring it up a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's.

[Brady Bogan]

We got a box in front of me, man. What's this box?

[John Holmberg]

You can open it. I open up John Gruden.

[Brady Bogan]

I hope this isn't something you throw in a cord at a WNBA game, man.

[John Holmberg]

What's in here, man?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, there's actual.

[John Holmberg]

There's actual merchandise inside there.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, gold rush, man. Who is this?

[John Holmberg]

Montana, man.

[Brady Bogan]

Anna Montana, she had the best of both worlds, man.

[John Holmberg]

A whole not. Oh my God. That did not just, you know the theme to Hannah Montana. My daughter watched it with me. Their daughter was not animal. Your daughter used to like say, dad turn up a lot.

[Brady Bogan]

I tell you what, that Billy Ray Cyrus.

[John Holmberg]

I think he's gonna.

[Brady Bogan]

I think she's gonna turn on him, man.

[John Holmberg]

I don't see that.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, I thought these were shorts.

[John Holmberg]

Like he's all shirts and. Yeah, he's. Toledo's going back to Montana and he's got some gear that he wants to. Gonna try out for the basketball team. So he's got some breakaways.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, he's got me.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's gonna make the team in the Comeback man.

[Brady Bogan]

For sure come back then.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's the. He's the most urban person in Montana. Cuz he left for a little and came back. So he. They want him on the basketball team at Montana State and just that. Yeah. That's weird. I've never talked to you about like your. Your preparation pre show.

[Brady Bogan]

There isn't much.

[John Holmberg]

I just assumed you had this down.

[Brady Bogan]

So when you change, you have to do new things. There's more. I mean, you have your own type of show prep me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's observation only. Yeah. And there's a few things I look at and go like. Like the guy that stole the signs. When I saw that on the news last night, my brain immediately had a take that I don't think anybody else saw.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm talking about commercials.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, no, yeah, the spots. I do those. I do, right.

[Brady Bogan]

That's how I look at my act.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's what this is.

[Brady Bogan]

Doing spots.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Just doing the spot. Have you seen the thing Frank? About? Well, are there any female scientists out there?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, there we go. Enough said.

[Brady Bogan]

Next story.

[John Holmberg]

Are there any female scientists currently making male robots to replace us that can shoot sperms is what I'm asking.

[Brady Bogan]

Isn't there just an attachment to the females?

[John Holmberg]

Yes. However, there are male scientists right now who have put a date on robots. We can get pregnant.

[Brady Bogan]

What?

[John Holmberg]

The date? That's crazy.

[Brett Vesley]

They'll carry it.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Herbie. Carry it. You can put it in them. You just have to buy the thing. Yeah. Tracy Morgan's gonna get robots. February. February 2026.

[Brett Vesley]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna put a baby in that microwave. Who even knew we were working on this? Tracy.

[Brady Bogan]

What? What? What?

[John Holmberg]

February of 2026. Women, you have gotten to the point now where there are groups of men who spent ages researching, learning, getting degrees, and their one goal with their science is to replace you. They're not trying to solve global warming. They're not trying to get the plastic out of the ocean. They're not trying to fix turbine engines. They're not. They're trying to make it. How do we do this and keep the population alive? Robots that can get pregnant. And they found a way to do it. Now, is that cheating? What do you mean? On a wife?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Why would you have one if you.

[Brett Vesley]

Had the robot, you know, all of a sudden, the robot rolls out, you want one in 2026, but you don't.

[John Holmberg]

Buy the one that. That gets pregnant. It's. If you're cheating. If it's a side piece, you know.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe you should do some show prep.

[John Holmberg]

Why in the world would you get the one with eggs and ovaries? You get the one without it, or you get in there and Roto Rooter that right out about the wrong model? No. Once. Okay, then you're an idiot. Because $175,000 for the one that gets pregnant? I think you might be aiming for it. And then they stuff an egg in there and you can knock it up. Men, scientists, the Neil geniuses are going out of their way to go. No, I don't care about anything else about this planet. What we really need to do do is delete the women. And they're doing it. Women are not doing this.

[Brady Bogan]

Control, alt, delete, man. That is. That's a reset.

[John Holmberg]

There are no female scientists, as Frank points out. But if there were, would they be working this hard on replacing us, or would they be working on something beneficial to society, such as water Based fuel or some sort of. It's. It's weird, isn't it? Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

How do they have the date that's.

[John Holmberg]

Due to due date? Because they know. They know when it's done.

[Brady Bogan]

Due date.

[John Holmberg]

They know when they're like, we can. This will be manufactured and ready to go. February.

[Brady Bogan]

I tend to exaggerate a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

I'll have that knocked up by February.

[Brady Bogan]

Also have 9 inch longs.

[John Holmberg]

According to their bio. 9 inch longs. And it shoots super speeds. It's got the hypersonic sperms. I'll have her pregnant by Valentine's Day. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, they're. They're doing that. And they think that for $175,000, a bunch of guys who don't want to tolerate a woman. Woman, but might want a pro.

[Brett Vesley]

Must have a family.

[John Holmberg]

Wants a family. You want a family, but you don't.

[Brady Bogan]

Want all the bad stuff that has.

[John Holmberg]

To go with it. I got a robot for you. Tracy Morgan should be the spokesperson. Morning sickness Holiness.

[Brady Bogan]

Like, I remember seeing Norm MacDonald do these insurance ads in Ohio years ago.

[John Holmberg]

It was the grass. Like, hey, you.

[Brady Bogan]

You got your car there and there's a problem.

[John Holmberg]

You know, Is this company I work for, like, that's literally what the commercial was.

[Brett Vesley]

Like an aftermarket warranty or something.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know what it was, but it was like.

[John Holmberg]

Like the lieutenant that wasn't the general.

[Brady Bogan]

They're shooting the commercial. Like, oh, my God. They only get him for like 30 minutes or something.

[John Holmberg]

Had to get it in, and they.

[Brady Bogan]

Had to get in, and that's all they could come up with.

[John Holmberg]

Like, we'll have to edit this together.

[Brady Bogan]

We spent too much.

[John Holmberg]

And they gave him a script. He's like, yeah, no, no problem. Problem. I'll. Yeah, I'll improvise. Don't worry about it. So. Hey there, Everybody. It's Norm MacDonald for insurance. That's funny.

[Brady Bogan]

I think he did say the word in Southerners Insurance.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta have that, you know. Anyway, I don't know what you do with it, but don't pay a lot. But everybody needs it. That's crazy. All right, I'm gonna take. Would you have a sex doll, Frank? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Like three or four.

[John Holmberg]

One hundred and. Three or four. One hundred and twenty.

[Brady Bogan]

A whole lot of lumps.

[John Holmberg]

One hundred twenty thousand for. For. They have Arya the A. Look her up. Arya the AI sex robot. Well, she's not a sex robot. She's. Look it up, Ariel. Like the hotel. Yeah, I'll just. Yep. Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Just look at my Browser history.

[John Holmberg]

They just built this. This girl, and she's built for conversation. She's not built for loving, but she's beautiful. So you're telling me this one's not. This one is conversation. This one's ready to go. But all she talks about is, like, how she loves just deep conversations. But look at how they built her. She's got like a 14 inch waist, huge cans, a great ass. Like, her body's perfect.

[Brady Bogan]

Like Jessica Rabbit a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Only she's blonde, right? She's robot. You can tell she's a robot. She's a robot. Yeah, she's good. The skin looks normal, but the movement's a little off. Off.

[Brady Bogan]

I've seen that in person.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I've seen it too. Like. Yeah, I like Winnie Harlo, and she's that vitiligo model. She's all over. Looks like I know who she is. She's like a white woman trying to break out of a black woman and a black woman trying to break out of a white woman. How much is she? 1500 bucks. Aria is 15. Oh, that's not her. No, that's different. That's a sex doll. Just put in Arya. AI robot.

[Brady Bogan]

No, leave that one up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's pretty good too. Then a whole 90 day return guarantee. That's only 1500 bucks. And again, 40% off. Today we've been free. Upgrade braids. Frank, do you know what the worst part of a sex doll is? This is what nobody thinks about when they see that. And you didn't either. Clean up.

[Brady Bogan]

I was. I did kind of thing.

[John Holmberg]

You got to put a whole.

[Brady Bogan]

Until you said. You know what nobody thinks.

[John Holmberg]

Aria. What? AI.

[Brady Bogan]

Unless you have an attachment for yourself.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, geez. You'd wear rubbers with a sex. No, no, no, no.

[Brady Bogan]

An attachment for yourself. I didn't mean for that. I mean for like.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what I mean. I braided it. You braided it hard. Look at her. There she is. That's Arya. Humanoid AI powered robot. She's highly realistic. She has her own social media. But they built this. That looks like she was designed for you. Okay, that looks like you. It does. But that looks exactly like you put the. If I were to build one. Yeah, yeah, that's it.

[Brady Bogan]

If you build it, she will.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, if the movie. Whoa.

[Brady Bogan]

That was decent movement.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so it's not bad, right? Look at her. Willing to sell you a robot girlfriend if you have $175,000 to spare. Robotics is enough for a second.

[Brady Bogan]

One of her eyes is awful.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, that's kind of sexy.

[John Holmberg]

She's not perfect, Frank. I don't know. That's right. That's part of it.

[Brady Bogan]

475K that you'd put that in there. Slight imperfections, including eye that wanders.

[John Holmberg]

Give me one glass eye. Give me the Sammy Davis. Or even as a romantic partner, what if she went.

[Brett Vesley]

Excuse me.

[John Holmberg]

Pardon me.

[Brady Bogan]

Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

One last thing, miss. Well, they built the brunette one too. But she's got bangs. Look at the body arm. You're not supposed to have sex with it. But they built perfect moves around on a circular body. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

That is not built for conversation.

[John Holmberg]

No. And all she talks about is, I love deep, engaging, fun conversations. I like deep, engaging stuff, too. Lady disassembled and packaged into a suitcase. Downs in a bustling corner of the CES show floor, realbotic CEO Andrew Keagle speaks with conviction. His name is Kegel. He took so much ridicule as a kid. He built this. He explains. Oh. When you take the face off Beaker from the Muppets, Westworld Beaker. And replicate historical figures or celebrities. She's standing before Arya. One can't help but notice certain limitations in the current. Okay, but she is the worst technology this will ever be. Be. Every day this gets better. And look at her now. It's pretty amazing. But my point being, there are no women scientists. Again, Frank stops the sentence. There's not a market women scientists to replace us. We are winning this fight.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, I see what you say.

[John Holmberg]

Women have got to get on the ball and start behaving or Brady's grandpa's strategy is going to start kicking back in. We've gone from whenever they misbehave like Grandpa Ed did did to just building robot versions of them. And By February of 2026, we can get them pregnant if we want. If you're one of those lunatics.

[Brady Bogan]

No, these are all. All these women are showing. These fake women are sidekicks on the fall guy in the 80s.

[John Holmberg]

They are. They're posters you would put up. Now, the one thing I did read about her is that they didn't include. They did include lifelike genitalia, but there's no, like, depth to it. And the nipples are not there. No, not baby.

[Brady Bogan]

Can I. Can I take off your face?

[John Holmberg]

Baby nipples. By the way, I want to see Skeletor. There's the guy. But nobody's going to want that name. It's Mory Povich. Cameras enable visual recognition, allowing the robot to identify both people and objects. They built guys. Atrocious homeless Like Total Recall and Connie.

[Brady Bogan]

Chung pops out of his belly and.

[John Holmberg]

Ask how it tastes. Of course, he adds with a slight smile, it's probably best not to offer Arya a bite. In a remarkable demonstration of the robot's versatility, Kigwell reveals another fascinating feature. If you find yourself wanting a change, you don't need to purchase an entirely new robot. You can simply swap out its face. The realistic skin of the faces can be magnetic. So instead of replaced with a new upgrading with a new 25 year old model, you just rip her face off and put a new one on. Under five seconds. He demonstrates the body parts are also modular. It's just what women do. But it's what women do to you. The genre. I think maybe you just want to take my face off.

[Brady Bogan]

Suddenly we have the same size head.

[John Holmberg]

I think it's exactly the same and it's like no wrinkles or lines or anything. It's actually kind of appealing. But it's what real women do when they get to the point where they don't like their face anymore. They surgically. Oh, yeah, change it. Do you think that's what it's like underneath now? They. Yeah, I think that's Scottsdale.

[Brett Vesley]

There's a lot of robotics, Google magnetic faces.

[Brady Bogan]

By the way, I think his favorite movie was Weird Science. And the brunette is. Who's the.

[John Holmberg]

Who's Kelly LeBrock.

[Brady Bogan]

Kelly LeBrock.

[John Holmberg]

Look at the.

[Brady Bogan]

Go back to the brunette. You think there's, There's.

[John Holmberg]

Kelly. There's a similarity, yes.

[Brady Bogan]

Not in the. Not in the blonde. The brunette is very.

[John Holmberg]

There she is. Oh, I see what you see. It's got the same Weird Science look. Hair. Oh.

[Brett Vesley]

In the eyes.

[John Holmberg]

But they've got her fingers moving. Yeah. And she's A.I. by the way, I did a lot of research on this. Sounds like. Yeah, I read a lot about this. She, she. She's AI, so she adapts and learns.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, well, that's nothing like a real one.

[John Holmberg]

No. Frank's on fire today with the misogyny. These broads there, none of them was ever learning when I was around. And look at this one.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the Kelly LeBrock right there.

[John Holmberg]

That is big lips. Yeesh. You know, and then they built this. Perfect. And then they just keep reminding you this isn't a sex robot. Like, why did you build it perfect.

[Brett Vesley]

Then Frank cracks me up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Finally.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Tell me. I find Frank to be quite amusing.

[Brady Bogan]

You want to hear some more, Madden?

[John Holmberg]

Huh? I want the Hawking voice, though. Oh, no, I don't want anything to do like I wanted to. They want you to rub my nipples. This hurt is. You can. Please. I'm like, yeah. You remind me of what I'm actually doing. Doing. I got to keep some reality in this.

[Brady Bogan]

See, what if. What mine would be like. Would you like to play a game of chess?

[John Holmberg]

You want the. You want the Whopper?

[Brett Vesley]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

Global thermal nuclear war.

[John Holmberg]

Barry Corbin is there too. What we have here is a real problem.

[Brett Vesley]

You want to confuse her so much where she just short circuits.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, I'd like that. Like your grandma Ruth used to short circuit and they put electro. Grandma Ruth was the first female robot in your family.

[Brady Bogan]

Short circuit.

[John Holmberg]

Jimmy five is alive. It's weird. I was reading about it all last night. Last night, laying there just like this.

[Brady Bogan]

Seems like more than just reading.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I wasn't jerking to this. I have porn for that still. But I did look at it and I thought if this was wandering around the house. They built it perfect. They built it perfect.

[Brady Bogan]

It's such. If you build it.

[John Holmberg]

If you build. Does it walk and everything? Oh, yeah. It doesn't do dishes yet. Oh, well, then. Come on. But if we're doing this 175k, eventually it's going to at least load the dishwasher or be attached to the dishwasher her to where she can turn it on and off.

[Brady Bogan]

Like that is the model you would build right there.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, absolutely. You too.

[Brady Bogan]

That's not my model.

[John Holmberg]

You wouldn't build that. What would yours look like?

[Brady Bogan]

My wife.

[John Holmberg]

Somehow you turned that into the gayest thing I've ever heard. You're welcome. How? You said my wife. And I thought you were gayer than build. Your wife. That's stupid. Brady would say something like that and then giggle. You didn't even laugh. My wife, I would build. I'd build her to have two good kidneys and I'd swipe one. Is she a live donor? Technically, kind of swiper dose. Why? Think about that, Brady. Like, you got to go through all this stuff with your kidney and look what. Look what science is doing. Rather than fix your kidney problem, they're.

[Brady Bogan]

Building ladies instead of many parts.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Instead of kidneys for you. You.

[Brett Vesley]

Science is they're building kidneys.

[John Holmberg]

No, they're not. Not faster than that. You can get a robot pregnant by February of 2026. You won't have a donor for a couple years. Be great if we got you a.

[Brady Bogan]

Kidney with that hair. It's really great hair.

[John Holmberg]

That would be. She has great hair. You like her a little more than I Like you. You're not attracted to her at all?

[Brady Bogan]

No, there's something off.

[John Holmberg]

Well of course there's something off. She's not real. But her body like I like not real. From a distance, you wouldn't look at that and say boom.

[Brady Bogan]

A bit much forehead. If you're looking for standards.

[John Holmberg]

Well, we can paint it white so birds don't hit it. Yeah, I mean she's got a lot of forehead. Okay, we'll give her that.

[Brady Bogan]

But that's that and that's with. I mean that Frank.

[John Holmberg]

If that's a real girl, you're not attracted to that. She's pretty. You'd say she's got too much for she's pretty.

[Brady Bogan]

But hey, I got a ring on.

[John Holmberg]

Of course we're not saying you double. All right, calm down. I don't know what kind of. I don't what kind of pressure. You're. He's very nervous. You're wife beats you to just blink twice if she hits you. Cuz this is. This is absurd. God, we're just having. Look at that. I think she looks great. She looks like. She also does some figure skating. She's got some. Yeah, crosses her legs. The Kelly LeBrock one. You're right. Anyway, we've talked about this topic a few times over the last few years and it went from these lifelike looking lumps of doll to putting some robotics.

[Brett Vesley]

Now they'll carry a baby.

[John Holmberg]

Now they're AI and they can have super conversations and tell you stuff. It's basically like having your phone talk to you the whole time. And now they're like, you know what else we could do if we get an egg donor for now that's what we need. Pop one of those and get the robot broad pregnant.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, I wonder if we could grow a kidney in there.

[John Holmberg]

They're not even working on that. That's what I'm saying.

[Brady Bogan]

I know. We just grow the kid.

[John Holmberg]

Look at her. Put her to work movie theater. She's an earner now. Oh my God.

[Brady Bogan]

That one? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh man, she's friendly. Why is she at like a. I'd.

[Brady Bogan]

Like some extra butter.

[John Holmberg]

She's at [e-mail] or so. What is this? Six for Vegas kiosk. She works the kiosk. It's somewhere in Vegas that I'm going to visit.

[Brady Bogan]

There is a lot of like, there's a lot of hair pulled forward to there. There must be some forehead issues.

[John Holmberg]

Well, because it's technically a wig. And you can take her face. Magnetic face.

[Brady Bogan]

Right, but why wouldn't you build the technology into the back more and not at the top of the head. I just got to be Peyton Manning.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I didn't. Omaha. Omaha. It's weird. Kind of weird. Eli. Weird. Eli. Kind of weird. Okay, so I don't think the scientist expected you to compare that to Peyton Manning. So they left the forehead alone. It's not that bad. But it is up there. Now, the different spelling.

[Brady Bogan]

The female spelling of Peyton.

[John Holmberg]

He, A, Y, T, O, M. Yeah, you're too picky. Oh, there's a dude making out with one.

[Brett Vesley]

There's a date.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, Frank Calendo's here. Just goofing with us this morning. It's more just whoring. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Desert Ridge imprint.

[John Holmberg]

If I had a robot to build, I'd make it look like my wife. That's more insulting to your wife, actually, because you're basically saying, other than your personality, you look. Your. Your look is what I want.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I tell her that sometimes. I do. I'll be like, you're beautiful. I did not marry.

[John Holmberg]

Married you for your conversation.

[Brady Bogan]

Like, she'll say something like, I don't look good. I'll be like, no, I married you for your looks. Yeah, you're better than me.

[John Holmberg]

You're better looking. You make me feel like I accomplished something. Yeah. Just by being there.

[Brady Bogan]

Like, yeah, it's trophy. I'm fine with it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. First. Shut up.

[Brady Bogan]

First.

[John Holmberg]

You're ruining it. Yeah, that's right. It's just beat. That's what Brady's grandpa did. So pretty. And all this talking. I'm going to electrocute shoot you now. Just pulled the wires apart on the lamp. Ripped.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, she's asking to tend the rabbits.

[John Holmberg]

And, yeah, Steinbecked her.

[Brett Vesley]

Gonna pet it.

[John Holmberg]

I Steinbecked that. Look at her over there with a puppy. She could hurt it. Anyway. Yeah, that was dumb. You. And you wouldn't. You would build. You wouldn't build Matthia. No, I'm building Margot Robbie. Right, exactly right. Nobody's building my wife. But you've got your wife already. She's not gonna build me. If that was the same case. Case? Do you think Michelle builds you? Yeah. No way. Delusional lunatic.

[Brady Bogan]

What? She would say.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If I asked Michelle what she would build, what would she.

[Brady Bogan]

What, before she met me?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

Jersey Shore guy.

[John Holmberg]

Currently. Now, like, is that right?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She's into that Pauly D. With the hair and everything.

[Brady Bogan]

She grew up Italian in Cleveland. I mean, it's all, hey, how you doing?

[John Holmberg]

She likes the look, though.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know anymore. I Don't think if she cares.

[John Holmberg]

You and Brady need to talk to your friends. Dogs.

[Brady Bogan]

I think it's dogs.

[John Holmberg]

She would build a dog, man.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I think she.

[John Holmberg]

She builds a shaggy da. Shaggy da. She just wants a bipedal hook. Yeah, she wants a bipedal dog that can earn. Yeah, that would be. I think that's what I want, really, to be honest with you, but I don't want to sleep with it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, no, no, no. It took me a second.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to do that.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know if I was processing.

[John Holmberg]

Or what, but you're thinking about Shaggy Day's right hook.

[Brady Bogan]

I was.

[John Holmberg]

How all. All Dick Van Patten had to do keep saying ends up could have blocked that shot.

[Brett Vesley]

He didn't see it.

[Brady Bogan]

He's speaking about a lot of forehead. Dick Van Patten.

[John Holmberg]

Eight is enough inches on his forehead. He's an eight head. Anyway. 7:32. Frank Caliendo's at the Desert Ridge improv this weekend, if you want to go. Desert ridgeimprov.com People are asking, can we get Brady hypnotized to come in and tell some of those repressed memories? If he. I think it would be pretty great, but if he knew that's what we were doing and I stopped smoking. Yeah, you don't smoke already working. That is a Brady joke, right? If he was. If he was aware that he was being hypnotized to tell repressed memory stories later, he wouldn't. He. Oh, no. He'd goof around. The hypnotist. It would be fake hypnotist.

[Brady Bogan]

And he'd be walking around like a chicken.

[John Holmberg]

There's a moon around Uranus. You're not a soothsayer. You've just been hypnotized. He would start predicting things like he was a wizard or a Merlin. Anyway. Anyway, I tell you that, Frank, that's where he's gonna be. His ticket sold out yet? Pretty close.

[Brady Bogan]

No? Getting close, I think.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, good. Let's sell him out today. Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats while we discuss Frank's replicant sex doll of his wife? All right. Action rides.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, I'd love to have two of them.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're having a couple of those around the house. Action Ride shop. Bringing you guys the wake up Song. If you're gonna ride during the day, they got all the camel packs and everything else gets you going. If you're gonna ride at night, they.

[Brady Bogan]

Got all the lights and everything else.

[John Holmberg]

Keep you on the trail. And of course, they'll get Those bike service two locations right there on Power Road and McDowell. And of course the OG on Gilbert Road in Southern. Actionrideshop.com who does Matthia built? I think she's a Bradley Cooper guy. Oh, wow. Really? Yeah, like hangover.

[Brady Bogan]

Actually. Bill Cooper, rocket raccoon.

[John Holmberg]

What is wrong with you? How do you always make it? Bestiality.

[Brady Bogan]

I think it's fun.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brett Vesley]

He's a furry.

[Brady Bogan]

I was thinking more of a cartoon.

[John Holmberg]

Of it, but it's worse, I guess.

[Brady Bogan]

You're showing sex robots and I'm the bad guy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because I'm keeping it in real world.

[Brady Bogan]

The mastery.

[John Holmberg]

I am keeping it real with the robots being a great host, I suppose. Turn it back to me. It isn't turning anything. When the second I say who would you build? You say, I don't know. Messiah. Probably likes Bradley King Cooper. Turn it into a raccoon of cartoon nature. Sex robot. God.

[Brady Bogan]

I know how Brady feels now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, cuz you step in it, I'm gonna point it out. Oh yeah, Brady. Who would Ronnie build?

[Brett Vesley]

Jason Momoa.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right? Man, she really swung and missed.

[Brett Vesley]

Then she came real close.

[John Holmberg]

She ended up with Jason. Yeah, because it's the only way he looks like. I have three wishes.

[Brady Bogan]

What's the first one I want? Jason Momo. How about Jason mimosa. Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Did you have enough mimosas? That look just like him. He has a shirt that says Aloha. That's the closest thing he's got to being Jason Momoa. He's wearing it today and it says Aloha Mr. Hand. So it's not even like it's a dopey novel T shirt.

[Brady Bogan]

How much about.

[John Holmberg]

How about we just stop at this? Megan builds anybody but me. The dude's got hair. He's fantastic. Name a guy that's decent looking with hair. Hair. She'd build you like if it was just like anybody. But you know what?

[Brady Bogan]

I think every woman builds a guy that looks like her.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? That's probably kind of true.

[Brady Bogan]

That's exactly what it is.

[John Holmberg]

A boy her.

[Brady Bogan]

A boy her to just.

[John Holmberg]

Would it be cartoon or some sort of forest animal? Like a woodland creature?

[Brett Vesley]

A primate of some.

[John Holmberg]

He's like a squirrel that has like. He hold a lot of nuts in his mouth. Mouth.

[Brady Bogan]

Wait a second.

[John Holmberg]

They have opposable thumbs and logic and reasoning. That's what I want to squirrel with that.

[Brady Bogan]

That's my latest theory that women love guys who put the effort into themselves. That they put. That the women put in like if a guy is trimming his eyebrows every day and grooming immaculately.

[John Holmberg]

See, but that's going on. You want a twink gun. Yeah, we talked about that. Brett puts it very.

[Brady Bogan]

Instead of a Twinkie, get a Twinkie.

[John Holmberg]

I thought for a second. I thought for a second Neil Degrasse Tyson was here. But there's a thing now that they called. I forget the name of it, but it used to be kin shaping or something like that. But it's now women are taking. It's a brand new word that's in the dictionary now. And they're mad about what we just talked about. They told us for years. Oh, we want you to talk to us. Communicate. Tell us this, tell us that. Try a little harder with your appearance. Gay it up a little bit. And now there's a whole new movement for women to say, we can't take on your emotions anymore. You come home and talk to us about your job. We've had at it. Yeah, we. The old days. That's what used to happen.

[Brady Bogan]

You know why? Because they have Instagram. They can just look at everything and get every single aspect of life fulfilled by just flipping through.

[John Holmberg]

But if we as men are smart, we will go. Okay. We'll go back to what we liked being before you started to change everything, which is the dude that came home and didn't pay attention to anybody.

[Brady Bogan]

But the guys have been hypnotized as well.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And been talked into this. That that's what you need to do. And they're told their entire life lives, share your feelings. And the women are like, these guys are wusses.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Megan would build Hitler just to get rid of one Jew. His name is Holberg. I will be right back to talk. Ding, dong, bing, beep, poop. Adolf robot. I need you to do something. The Jews in the kitchen. I'm not a Jew.

[Brady Bogan]

Adolf Butler.

[John Holmberg]

Hello. Hey. Adolf the Robot. It's just Holmberg. It's a Swedish name. Sounds Jewish. Yes, that's what they all say.

[Brett Vesley]

What?

[John Holmberg]

What are you doing? You're making cookies? No, I'm just getting oven preheated. Who built this robot? God damn it. Is he bothering you? Yes. You should build Hitler. Like, if you gave her a list of John or Hitler Robot. Hitler wins. John or Pol Pot. Hitler wins. It's go down the list. Yeah, down the list. Hitler's the first. Anybody. Doesn't matter. You know Stephen Hawking me. Give me that. Hawking sex robot. Actually, I might take advantage of that one, too. I'm gonna roll that around for A little bit. I'm gonna give that a spin. If he was a cute little, like musk. Gratify.

[Brady Bogan]

Is that me? Suddenly I'm interested.

[John Holmberg]

Let's get a. Let's get that on the list. Rob. Zombie Demon. Speeding for the Jew. Swede, Twisted Sister. Metallica. David Lee Roth. Going Crazy for Brady's grandma. Cypress Hill. Insane in the Brain for Brady's Grandma. That's the one. Black Sabbath. Electric Funeral for Brady's grandma. Institutionalized for Brady's grandma. And Dead Memories for Brady's grandma. So. I mean, there's lots of gems. Electric Funerals. Another. Another good one. But Insane in the Brain will be fine. That's for Grandma.

[Brett Vesley]

Cypress Grandma would have been dimebag's birthday today.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right? I didn't have anything about your grandma, so we'll just go with this. It's Cypress Hill and Bobby Plant. It's Robert Plants. But how is he 80?

[Brett Vesley]

77.

[John Holmberg]

He's getting up there. And my dad are. My dad and Robert Plant are almost. My dad's 78 a week ago. That's crazy. It's Cypress hill, everybody. It's 98.

[Brady Bogan]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I've heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. We have Frank Caliendo joining us this morning, hanging out. He's at the Desert Ridge improv this weekend. DesertRidgeimprov.com you want to go see our friend Frank and support one of the arms of the show that comes in every once in a while? A local fella. Yeah, you're officially a local guy.

[Brady Bogan]

And a fella.

[John Holmberg]

And a fella. Officially. Finally.

[Brady Bogan]

Bob Fella.

[John Holmberg]

You got it. But yeah, that's, you know, support local comedy, I guess.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, why not, right?

[John Holmberg]

It's up and comers gonna be over at Desert Ridge and you can get in there. Desert ridgeimprov.com you sit giving away a sex robot that looks just like your wife. Phenomenal. All of our dreams. Oh, okay. It's a wreck. Booze. You're always better. Yeah. Sex furries at Frank Show. We'll sit through the Brady Report, right? You get to watch the videos with us today, which is fun. Do them every day. And then afterwards we'll let you just have the show for 30 minutes. How's that? Yeah, whatever. Is that okay?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't really want to.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, but we do. Oh, you're our guest. Yeah. We're gonna take off for a little. We're gonna laugh on our mind in a couple minutes. I need you to come in here and let Frank take over for a minute.

[Brady Bogan]

I just want to hang out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. All right. Well, it's time for. Don't do that. Just give you your turn, big fella.

[Brett Vesley]

Give me the guns.

[John Holmberg]

It's time now for all the news that only Brady knows. We call that the Brady Report, and it's brought to you by our friends at AllPro Shade. AllProchade.com 20 years of doing the best shading in the business. They'll put one of those shades up at your house, electric or manual, you choose it, and it is a beautiful thing that adds property value and glory to your home. And it drops the temps up to 20 degrees. Get it done. Allproche.com Brady reported.

[Brett Vesley]

Good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brett Vesley]

Happy National Radio Day.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, maybe the last one. As the executives in this business continue to chop away at the moorings to destroy this incredible thing. But we're still hanging in there.

[Brett Vesley]

Frank, couple of bases.

[John Holmberg]

Do you find that across the country that you see radio in its death spiral?

[Brady Bogan]

I hear about it from all the hosts.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

It's usually because of what they feel, and I tend to agree. Too many chefs in the kitchen giving too many bad ideas that worked in one place. It's not one size fits all. Whatever works in San Diego, California, doesn't work in Phoenix, Arizona. It's not the same thing.

[John Holmberg]

You can.

[Brady Bogan]

You can't just create. People are different. The glory of these are different.

[John Holmberg]

The media of radio is the locality. Yes. And when you try to steal that from it. And there's been three people who have had success on radio. Stern, Rush Limbaugh, and Dave Ramsey. Those are the three that can be everywhere all the time, that are like, okay, this is. And Dave Ramsey just runs an infomercial. Nobody listens.

[Brady Bogan]

Three of them, debt free.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. They did their debt free screen. I gotta tell you what, Dave. I did a debt free scream the other day. Beth finally. Finally got her off the Amazon. Ramsey and debt free.

[Brady Bogan]

I think what they do is they make. They make force correlations. So they'll take podcasts and what works for podcasts and go, we need to apply this to radio. And you're like, no. The reason that podcast has as many viewers as it does is because there are people in different countries.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Listening to Bobby Lee right now.

[John Holmberg]

Unbelievable. That One doesn't make any sense. Yeah. He's fun. Yeah. But.

[Brady Bogan]

And Andrew, what's an Anderson Santini or the Great Santini? He is like, what he does to Bobby is what makes that brilliant.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But the fun of it is, is that would never work because radio executives would not see that working. Right. So they would say, oh, I don't know, this is not going to be a thing.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, it's took it seven, eight years for it to become what it is, and then it became massive.

[John Holmberg]

But everything that's the opposite of what these television too executives see is working.

[Brady Bogan]

Because they almost canceled Seinfeld.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Because there's nobody overlording it. So it has a chance to block.

[Brady Bogan]

Just take a. Take a look at the. The show suits, which in its first run didn't do that well then on. What's it on Netflix.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Whatever it was, whatever it became came on, people started watching it almost as though it were reruns and it was like it was new.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

To them. Some people didn't even know that way.

[John Holmberg]

It had been out. Right.

[Brett Vesley]

For six years, four years, I think when I.

[John Holmberg]

Crazy. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, so it's now that you can watch things after the fact or listen to things after the fact. They can grow. The old school situation was you did it once and it was done.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, now things can build an audience over time. If you're willing to put that much time into it.

[John Holmberg]

It's just.

[Brady Bogan]

And you do hard to put that much time into.

[John Holmberg]

You have to put the time it. It's weird, though. Yeah. But you only pick shows in cities that are succeeding. Not the cities, but the shows like, you go to. Like, you're going to Pittsburgh, you're going to Bauman. Yeah. You go to D.C. a couple around.

[Brady Bogan]

It just to, you know, Ansel.

[John Holmberg]

Like you. But just to cover, like, whoever's winning. Like, you're not gonna be dumb enough to go, okay, wherever you put me, you know, like, you keep an eye on.

[Brady Bogan]

I go, I go. I'm gonna go to the Sports Nation show. I'm gonna go to the main shows first, and I'm gonna pick that. If they'll have me on drive time. That's what I'm doing it. Everything else can be around that. So if you're gonna put me on the lady station, I'll do it. Because you buy advertising there all the time. Whatever. It's not gonna do that great for me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

But I'll do it. But put me on at 9:15, 9:30.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

Not at 7:00 o' clock when I could be on the big show where they play the Steelers games.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's a. I wish the. That's it.

[Brady Bogan]

I think you just had a robot.

[John Holmberg]

I did. Real gasm. The Randy Bauman's the only job in radio that I want.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I told him. I'll tell him.

[John Holmberg]

I would kill him. No, he's great. He does a great job. Him and Elliot and D.C. yep. Great guys. And I haven't been on Elliot in years. Go over there. Sorry. Br. Go ahead.

[Brett Vesley]

Taco Bell originally started as a hot dog stand called Bell's Drive in.

[Brady Bogan]

No, it. Hmm. I'm just gonna deny everything he says.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I thought there's a good chance we do that every day with his.

[Brett Vesley]

Facts instead of once upon a time. Korean fairy tales usually start with in the old days when tigers used to smoke.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that one's probably not true.

[Brett Vesley]

A study of.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't. You didn't look further into that. Why did tigers used to smoke in Korea? Yeah, that's called Bobby Lee.

[Brett Vesley]

They loved it.

[John Holmberg]

Hell no. Take your shirt off. Bobby. I've got a question.

[Brett Vesley]

A study of 20 million prove you're straight.

[John Holmberg]

Impossible.

[Brett Vesley]

A study of 20 million married couples. A couple puppies.

[Brady Bogan]

I know.

[Brett Vesley]

I like copies found no astrological signs are more likely to wind up with any other astrological signs.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Because it's not real. Are you a believer of astrology?

[Brady Bogan]

I'm going to start to. Is that right of this bit?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's not a bit. No. I want a question to a man.

[Brady Bogan]

I wanted to. What would my wife.

[John Holmberg]

You have a bill. Is she an astrology person? Oh, there's a little of that though.

[Brady Bogan]

Just rocks from Sedona, I think.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she said. Oh no.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, some crystals.

[John Holmberg]

Sign one.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, crystals.

[John Holmberg]

There's a few signs.

[Brady Bogan]

Crystal meth, I believe.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, is that the one Crystal she likes? Yeah. She brings the crystals back and gives them fake powers. Yeah, well, they had some powers, yeah. Is she taking on any sort of. If she ever go to the vortex and Sedona.

[Brady Bogan]

We went to the vortex. Yeah. We also went on that cliff and she. She said I tried to push her off.

[Brett Vesley]

Off.

[John Holmberg]

Did you marry me? Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

We went there for our anniversary a few years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. Yeah. She's still here. So you didn't try to push her off? Cuz.

[Brady Bogan]

No, she did claim that did, but I.

[John Holmberg]

But you know how I'd know if you tried? She wouldn't be able to talk about it. Right. Because you'd have pushed her off. Nobody tries to push their wife off and fails. Yeah, you either do it or you don't. Right, Brett? You don't know what you're talking about.

[Brett Vesley]

A few weeks ago, a man named John Stockwell, well on Tick Tock, claimed he'd been repeatedly ordering 110 pound cast iron anvils from Amazon from the Acme and immediately returned them. The anvils cost more than $225 each. But with his prime account, John has them shipped and he'd ship them back.

[John Holmberg]

For free just to make the workers miserable.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. He shows his Amazon order page. He scrolls down, down anvil orders. Said there. It's unclear why he's doing this for the past six months.

[Brady Bogan]

Also has pet coyotes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

He does joke about that, but he says, I'm going to keep doing this until somebody does something about it. And then some commenters were criticizing him, call him a bad person. And he responds, he laughs at him. And on the video he says, the haters want to come over to my house. And he puts his address up. It's Barack Obama's address.

[John Holmberg]

Does it say mud at all anywhere in the address? My name is mud. Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

He also talked about how the media reached out to him and he jokes around that they asked him, asked him what anvils are used for and he says dropping on road runners.

[John Holmberg]

So he did go that route. He got it from that. Not from blacksmithing or anything actually.

[Brett Vesley]

Just wants to make Amazon still making.

[John Holmberg]

Anvils enough that you can order them on Amazon.

[Brett Vesley]

110 pounds.

[Brady Bogan]

I think that ended with Iron Man 1.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think that's it stopped it. He didn't need that anymore. And also if you need an anvil, don't you already have one? Like people don't like, you know what's missing from this is like I was putting a tv. Yeah, I, I, I hung a TV on a wall and I put them out mount up. And I needed a couple of things and I ordered some bolts. Amazon delivered some bolts that would fit the TV mount. Yeah, but if I was doing some work around the house and an anvil was necessary, I'm not gonna go, ah, I got an Amazon. One of those. Normally people who have a need for anvil start with the anvil, Right.

[Brady Bogan]

You think they're born into an anvil?

[John Holmberg]

I think you, Yeah, I think anvils come with it is what I'm saying. Be big money. Look how many Amazon carries. Look at that. They're different color anvils because you want to be. Wow, a sassy Anvil owner.

[Brett Vesley]

Sassy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The blue one. Look at the blue one. That's like a sex toy. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Brett's gonna have that video. Some of them look like bird heads.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. 132 pounds. There you go again. What's the matter with you? Can you bang them, paint little eyes on it, and then drill a hole in the. The back? Yeah. They're kind of like a toucan breaking out of a. Like a toaster. Interesting. And I never knew you could just get them on Amazon. For people who are like, you know, what I want to do is more work with an anvil, but I don't have one. Does an old anvil go bad? Once you have one, you've got one for life, right? Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

I mean, there could be some scratches on it, maybe the top surface, but I don't think so. You're. You're pounding. You know, you're shoeing horses, is. You're smithing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're smithing. You're doing some smithing, man. But you've got your anvil.

[Brett Vesley]

Most time, people buy, you know, like, your. The anvil is there.

[Brady Bogan]

Like, that's what I'm saying.

[Brett Vesley]

People bother to move them.

[John Holmberg]

You have it.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So I think it's the chicken in the egg. Grandfathered into homes and. Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

I don't know. My house in Guilford, when I bought it, had a big clamp, one of.

[John Holmberg]

Those vice clamps for your grandma's head.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, on the table.

[John Holmberg]

Vice device. A vice. Yeah. Yeah. That was just to keep Grandma Ruth at bay. You know, she started running around a.

[Brett Vesley]

Little bit, clamping her hands. They left it the fair.

[John Holmberg]

You know how he dodged it? He deflects those moments because he probably went down there and saw Grandma in a vice for a little bit. Hopefully he scraped it for DNA. Papalad just thought I was getting a little rambunctious, so he viced me.

[Brett Vesley]

It straightened Ronnie a little bit. Straightens her out.

[John Holmberg]

You put her in the vice, too? You learned from Grandpa? Yeah. Judging from the past couple years, I think it's the other way around. I think Ronnie puts your hand in there. Yeah. I don't think you. My point being anvil talk ending. It's not like a pool table. You don't get one and learn pool. You have an anvil and you learn anvil stuff. You don't desire an anvil.

[Brett Vesley]

Your dad might leave an anvil.

[John Holmberg]

No, he doesn't.

[Brady Bogan]

There is definitely a parallel to Pulp Fiction here somewhere.

[John Holmberg]

It's a Tarantino movie.

[Brett Vesley]

Five years, and the Quietest one in.

[John Holmberg]

The room is Brett, because he knows. Anvil in my ass. For five years.

[Brett Vesley]

The Food and Drug Administration is warning Americans not to eat, sell or serve Walmart's great value, raw frozen shrimp.

[John Holmberg]

Does that go without saying?

[Brady Bogan]

Raw frozen shrimp.

[Brett Vesley]

Possible contamination.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett Vesley]

Of cesium 137, which is A. Radioactive.

[John Holmberg]

Radioactive shrimp from India. Here we go. I heard that this morning. Indian shrimp. Shrimp.

[Brett Vesley]

Bullpol Shrimp.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Nuclear shrimp. Jesus. By the way, Ronnie just texted me and said she's ordered six anvils for in case you don't make it through next Tuesday. Because she's going to use them as a body pillow to make you feel like you're still there.

[Brett Vesley]

You see, we've got this Florida woman who's facing charges after she packed a handgun in her chop child's book bag during the first week of classes. Dropped them off and says she said she put it in there to hand to her dad. They're divorced.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brett Vesley]

So basically the kid went to school with a backpack with a gun in it.

[John Holmberg]

Blame the dad. Yeah, yeah. No, Maryville High, they don't care. They don't. Check those book backs. It backfired a little. The gun?

[Brett Vesley]

Gun didn't go off, but she's in trouble.

[John Holmberg]

Wow, man. Trying to get him sent to jail for that. And using the kid as a prop. Here's your pencils, your Trapper Keeper and your Glock. Don't look in your bag. Your dad packed it, by the way, if anyone asks. Woof. That's brutal.

[Brett Vesley]

We had tragedy strike Doolittle, Missouri. A tractor trailer carrying £40,000 of ribeye stakes caught fire Monday morning on Interstate 45.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a bar?

[John Holmberg]

Barbecue.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, that's what they're called.

[John Holmberg]

Did you not know about this? Why are you here?

[Brett Vesley]

It's too late now.

[John Holmberg]

I heard about it. I better go do some on scene investigation. Too far away, Brady. I'm Brady Bogan, investigative reporter. I'd like to take a look at this freeway spill, if you don't mind. These road stakes look like somebody needs. I'm the cleanup crew.

[Brady Bogan]

There's any song?

[John Holmberg]

They only sent one in. Does anybody have any songs? Boss shakes him out of his holster. Only thing missing here, a little fire. Looks like we're going to have to close these roads and light it up. I'm seeing the most stereotypical thing I've ever seen in my life out the window.

[Brett Vesley]

What you got?

[John Holmberg]

Black guy running as fast as he can, dribbling a basketball at 50 seconds. Like we can't have that with Brett in the room.

[Brett Vesley]

Why would you point that out?

[John Holmberg]

You can't not point it out. Why is he doing that? There's no basketball courts within miles of this place. Did you just mentally. Did you just mentally conjure that image to run up the street? Damn you, Brett. And he's in a sweatshirt. You don't think he's heading to the National Guard? Maybe they got a basketball hoop over there. I think so. That was just awful. Oh, God. There's a Chinese guy. There's a rickshaw. What is happening on 52nd Street? There's a plumber just threw a turtle at a guy and. Oh my God.

[Brett Vesley]

26 year old Alton Oliver was on trial in Georgia last week facing murder charges. He was accused of killing an off duty cop in 2022, but claimed it was self defense. The trial lasted three days, wrapped up on Friday. After the jury quickly came back with a verdict, they handed it to the judge. Judge, everyone's on the edge of their seat and I guess we got.

[John Holmberg]

I won't spoil the video. Yeah. Sheriff, would you please hand this to council and pass it over? Wait, what? You already.

[Brett Vesley]

You already read it?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we read the. Hang on. We the jury find the defendant guilty as to all six counts of deep Dillon indictment. Sheriff, will you please hand this to council?

[Brady Bogan]

Wait, what.

[John Holmberg]

The jury is saying. Hold on. What? Didn't I say not. No, he said guilty. Was supposed to say not guilty. Guy's life, six counts. Oh, man.

[Brett Vesley]

And watch what he calls up.

[John Holmberg]

Don't shush the judge. Mispronunciation. Christ. Hey, Judge Brady. Hey, Judge Brady. That wasn't a miss. He's just a white guy so used to saying guilty when he sees two black people in court. I think that's Michael Che, isn't it? That's the guy from snl. Man, talk about tightening your butt pretty hard at the. Ain't that a. I did what I thought we won. We did. Judge still says you're guilty and you must have done something wrong.

[Brett Vesley]

Got a couple of pretty videos to.

[John Holmberg]

Judge for a reason. He knows what he's doing. That's terrifying.

[Brett Vesley]

First one's a tick tock fail.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's a hot girl in a. In a pool and a song. And she's. She's watching last twerking and she looks great doing it. Well, her phone went in the wall. Her video went into the water. That's it, Brady. This is it. Okay. All right. There's Brady.

[Brett Vesley]

I wanted you to enjoy the twerking part of it.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, I have porn. I don't need that stuff. Something awesome had to happen. Really racy to bre. Yeah. That was like.

[Brady Bogan]

What the heck was that?

[John Holmberg]

You guys aren't gonna exactly.

[Brett Vesley]

Frank in the water. Tick tock. Failed.

[John Holmberg]

Like Carson levels. All right. Pathetic. I expected like something horrible to happen. Or at least something sex.

[Brett Vesley]

All right, well try this.

[John Holmberg]

Hot girl's butt shaking. That's called the Internet. I don't need that. All right, let's try this.

[Brett Vesley]

Father. Get the handgun.

[John Holmberg]

He's got a handgun. He hands it to a kid. He's at some sort of like reception or something. Kids. Oh, he shot his dad right in the tummy because he gave a gun to a two year old. My goodness. Oh God. Is there a guy in a Steelers jersey? Kid. I think. Isn't it? No, he's not in a Steelers jersey. It again might be tj. TJ W. I think he's we riding Antonio Brown. It's an old one. He's got a name. Well, that makes sense. Maybe that's AB's like it's a get together for AB's new rap release. Hberg's morning sickness.

[Brett Vesley]

This last one has some cussing in it. So.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. I'll be careful so much.

[Brett Vesley]

But it's a kid in high school and he's getting in the face of a teenager teacher.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. At an assembly. And he's in his face and they're yelling and the kids are filming it. Nobody's trying to help the teacher or the kid. They just sit and film it. Hands off. The boy in the hat is yelling. He's in the teacher's face. Teacher tries to push him away. Kid knocks his hand. Oh, he takes a swing. Little right hand like the shaggy DA oh, the. The teacher holds his arm because he can't hit a kid. But he wants to. They're down. They're down on the court now in front of everyone. Still no one really helping from the crowd. Another teacher has the boy. Boy. He's got something in his backpack. This is not going to end well. Oh, his pants are coming in. Boy. The other teacher that could be stopping this is allowing it to continue.

[Brett Vesley]

Now here comes the office.

[John Holmberg]

The cop comes and puts the kid on his head. Nice. Why didn't the first guy knock him out? Because you're a teacher. You're afraid you can't hit the kids. But the cops can.

[Brett Vesley]

You can see he's walking down as he's dragged the kid down. He's walking away. He kind of smiles like that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, wow. He's not really hurt me he's like a 14 year old, but still he's taking a swing. His lesson got learned. That's the home of the zebras.

[Brady Bogan]

They needed a zebra on that one.

[John Holmberg]

What is a referee? Like a real one? Like, what is it again? You with the animals. For what, Frank?

[Brady Bogan]

Whatever they need.

[Brett Vesley]

Here we go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, this dude is, by the way. And then boom. I mean, that guy. That kid's not going back to class that day. Day. They've had that. Resource officer's been dying to do that to kids for years. Comment on there. If you don't have a father, one.

[Brady Bogan]

Will be provided for you.

[John Holmberg]

That is the dream of every junior high and high school resource officer. It's to body slam one of those pricks. Finally, one of the kids is fighting a teacher spits out all his lunch and runs to that. I have not been this excited for anything. Anything. It was already over too. There was no need for it. But we all enjoyed it. Every kid deserves a slam now and again. Brett. What do you got? Scare Frank. They're not too bad today. We'll start off easy. All right. Yeah. Barack and Big Mike and showing rivers. All right. Some drunk. Some drunk broad. The lady getting questioned. Body camera. Excuse me.

[Brady Bogan]

No, she's a robot lady.

[John Holmberg]

You look hot. Hot. Oh, she's trying to. Oh, there she is. In. So they cut directly to her after arrest. And her shirt's off in the. She's about to go into it. All right. That was nothing too. Come on.

[Brett Vesley]

What in the world?

[John Holmberg]

Come on. That was worse than Brady. Okay, no problem.

[Brett Vesley]

That's embarrassing.

[John Holmberg]

The danger of telling Bret. He did an embarrassing. He's setting you up. We're speed bagging a set of nuts here. There's two girls. Talk about the shaggy DA this dude's got a beanbag like me. And there are women who seem to know what they're doing with a speed bag. By the way, they had good technique.

[Brett Vesley]

Practiced.

[John Holmberg]

Holy Christ. All right, all right. How about some fist bumping another naked lady with her fist so deep. Take that. Twerk in the water. Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

That can't be real.

[John Holmberg]

It is. You can do that at home. Yeah, you get a good enough one, they'll let you do that. And. Yeah, and then they got that. Yeah, okay, that's real. And we'll.

[Brady Bogan]

We'll end belly dancing without using your own muscles.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you're using muscles already. We'll end with this one. Jesus. I'm sorry. I turned that up. There we go. All right. There's a finger in a urethra. Oh, My God. There's a ring finger going inside a urethra. And a penis all the way. All the way. And it's popping over the knuckle. Oh. Oh, my God. It's his own finger, as it turns out. I thought someone else was doing this. And he didn't glove up, which I like that he's. This penis has been through a lot. Oh, my God. Knock it off. That thing could take a Louisville Slugger, man. Oh, it made him finish too. I never saw the ending. Finish me. We could show Frank the one from yesterday. Okay. All right. Yeah. This is going on in a city of 5 million people. My guess is that there's a certain percentage that are doing this probably as we speak. Right? It's a big city.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, this is.

[John Holmberg]

So this lady's out there right now. Somebody else has this going on too. And then it turns into Cubert. Something in this girl's butt, and then it turns into Cubert. Wow. We don't know what it is, but her butt is now. Now it's about 4 inches out of her. And then it looks.

[Brady Bogan]

Is that a Magic 8 ball?

[John Holmberg]

No. Wait till you see what comes out. And there's the insides. Oh, look, Frank, Look. It's not over. There's more. There's more to come. More to come. So to speak. Like when. When Carson used to go to break. More to come.

[Brady Bogan]

Holding back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you gotta. You got one on deck there, Frankie. That's new to the party. Those are pretty tough to hit a guy with. First day.

[Brady Bogan]

I gotta make noises to stop. From the noises actually happening.

[John Holmberg]

We're numb to it. I've thrown up twice. One was watching an Asian. I can't get. It was just an Asia and lady eating flies off of fly paper, not fries. Not Asian flies. They were real flies off. You're right.

[Brady Bogan]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, wait a minute. Hold it. I just had a late entry. Literally. Yes. From our anvil conversation. Oh, there's a lady with an anvil, and she is using it as a sex toy. Oh, yeah, look at that. That. There's two of them in a field. Like when you have an anvil, you.

[Brady Bogan]

Know, you can't even make a. No wonder they're being real.

[John Holmberg]

Look. That's real.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I did.

[John Holmberg]

That's in her bottom, too. That's her butt.

[Brett Vesley]

Is that Smithing?

[John Holmberg]

And then the other one doesn't even wipe it. Oh, they're licking the anvil after it was in her. God. Pigs. Now they're kissing each other. Oh, my God. Where is this field? Oh, my God. There's another lady now. We've moved on to a lady who's orally pleasing a fella. And that. Probably that same anvil field we were just in. There's that other girl that was on the anvil. She's now got. She's got something going on. WNBA toy. And she's playing WNBA with the. With the bottom of a girl. They're doing all sorts of stuff to her and she's. She's performing. Well, no, we've cut to another scene now. There's. There's a lot going on in this one. Where's that? Okay, There's a girl on her side, a girl in her front, a guy from behind. Another guy's. I've got another guy just showing. Showed up. Well, wouldn't you. I'd pull over if I saw this on the side of the road.

[Brady Bogan]

The most important thing is you can download the full video for only $1.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Well, they got to make money. They're professionals. Frank, come on. For a dollar. You're not getting these prices anywhere else. Most people are charging at least two bucks for that. This girl is not going to have a proper bowel movement for a while. And she's just going to town in the middle of a field. All right. It happens. Yeah. That's pretty good stuff. Stuff. City of five million people, Frank. There's two people out right now in a park outside doing that somewhere.

[Brady Bogan]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

I. Absolutely. I would probably venture to guess. And Brady usually thinks I shoot high. 250,000 at this very moment having public sex. Somehow or another, no.

[Brett Vesley]

That's a little high. Bob.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brady Bogan]

I almost.

[John Holmberg]

How many do you think?

[Brady Bogan]

4.

[John Holmberg]

1.

[Brady Bogan]

4.

[John Holmberg]

4. You're out of your mind. You see how many parts that there are.

[Brady Bogan]

You think so?

[John Holmberg]

Hire Bob. Homeless.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, I didn't think about at least a thousand.

[Brett Vesley]

Unhoused.

[John Holmberg]

When you said people. I omitted.

[Brett Vesley]

I assumed.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and that doesn't even count who's here legally and illegally. So. City of 5 million. Could be closer to 6.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I guess I didn't understand what public. Yeah, okay. Yeah, probably about. You're right. 250.

[John Holmberg]

250,000. See, I told you. I told you. And probably somewhere safely in the range of 10 to 15,000 women with something in their bottoms right now.

[Brady Bogan]

All on only fans.

[John Holmberg]

That's not medical. Yeah, and there's only fans. There's the other thing. There's girls waking up and that's their job. And they're doing stuff like that. Yeah, you might have bumped the Number up a little bit. Bit there. Plugs, all sorts of stuff. Nobody likes to think of that, but I do plugging for a living. Yeah. You. Yeah, there's only Fans. I don't know how many girls are on only fans right now, but there's tons of them. Like doing terrible stuff to the bodies for a dollar.

[Brady Bogan]

Plug and Play.

[John Holmberg]

Plug and play is right. Yeah. That's what you want in the draft. You want a Plug and play player. It's 827 there.

[Brady Bogan]

Tremendous ability to take an anvil. Incredible job.

[John Holmberg]

Shiftiness. Tell you I take a look at.

[Brady Bogan]

Ready to play, day one. Open it up. Spread the legs. Anvil's going down.

[John Holmberg]

Mel Kipper's horror draft 2025. This would only cost a dollar. Mel, what do you think of her work?

[Brady Bogan]

Talk about tremendous value. Look at that low ceiling. You know, a high ceiling, low metrics. Incredible. I mean, you're talking about. Can actually at the combine took 114 inches. Talking about just the ability to.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you, Melkite, for everybody. This horror draft analysis. There goes your Brady Report. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. You talking about the TV show? How'd you do that? I had all this other stuff in my brain and I was the other.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's go back.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I forgot.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you know that you have rights?

[John Holmberg]

The Constitution says you do.

[Brady Bogan]

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I can do. We were talking about. Yeah, television shows that kind of got off to terrible starts and then became the great Seinfeld's. Another one. Cheers. Another one. Yeah, but the Sopranos, because Larry's watching it again. Not good. When it starts.

[Brady Bogan]

I go back to watch it and I can't tell if it's. It almost feels like a cartoon. I mean, it's like a. It's. But it's.

[John Holmberg]

It's.

[Brady Bogan]

Because it becomes so great. I. I remember it more at the end. Going back and watching it just. Yeah, it was even a little hard to get through going like this. Is this a. Is it going for comedy here or straight drama? It was just. The timing was weird to me.

[John Holmberg]

They didn't have. They hadn't developed the characters yet. Right. And then going back and watching it again because they were so well developed. Seeing them so shallow is even harder.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's really weird when you watch the first season of Sopranos and you're like, tony is not. He doesn't even talk. Later we get you into the whole. You know. Come on, Camila. What are we doing around here Earlier. It's not that. Yeah. It's not. He hadn't. He hadn't figured that become a Muppet yet. Yeah. Right. He hadn't done it. What else is all about? It's the first seasons of the Simpsons. Yeah. When Dan Castle. Homer is Walter Mathaus. Right. It's not even close.

[Brady Bogan]

Bart flip. Like, what's.

[John Holmberg]

It's ridiculous. Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

And.

[John Holmberg]

And their roles are totally different. Yeah. He's actually a stern, get it done dad who steps in his own crap all the time because he's just so focused on making sure the family's okay. And then he becomes a bumbling moron. And Bart's the smart.

[Brady Bogan]

Like, is he Chevy Chase in Christmas vacation or Chevy Chase in Fletch? Like you don't know which. Like you're trying to figure out. Is he. Does he know what's going on and get lucky that everything? Or does he just not have any idea what's going on?

[John Holmberg]

I just remember all he used to say in the first few. It's the boy. And that's all he was like a totally different voice. Then he became dope. It was crazy.

[Brady Bogan]

And it was Walter Bath.

[John Holmberg]

It was. That's who he wanted it to be. Yeah. It's from Bad News Bears. Ah, Mad. We've got a game against the Athletics. And you can hear it when he starts saying, what's that mean for the Athletics? Bad news for them damn athletes. Athletics. You're goddamn right. That's Homer. I mean, it's the same thing in season one. That's weird. No shows ever start off great except for Breaking Bad and Better Calls. I was gonna say Frank TV and Frank tv, which started. You know what the good thing about Frank TV is?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

It never had a chance to develop. So you had. It's the same every time you watch it. Nothing ever.

[Brady Bogan]

I remember when I saw the first edit. I'm like. Of one of the shows. Probably the first show he did. I'm like, what happened? They cut out all the setups to just do punchlines. I'm like, but you have to have the setup. Otherwise you don't know. But we got to get to the last. I'm like, but there's no laugh in some of these things if you don't let it build and have a second to understand why There's a punchline.

[John Holmberg]

How much control did you have over.

[Brady Bogan]

That in the end? I felt like a lot until it was the very end where they were cutting it to together. Like then it was because I was just so stuck. We're, you know, shooting eight pages a day or whatever it was.

[John Holmberg]

Did the other cast members of Frank TV think to themselves, this is not going the way we want it to? Or did they?

[Brady Bogan]

No, I think we were having fun. And I thought it was while you're shooting, you're laughing and going, this is good. And then you'd see them cut all the air out of it because it was going to be in prime time as a sketch show and you're like. But you're cutting this out and then putting. I don't get what's happening here. It was not what I mean, they were still essentially similar to what was written.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

But then when you took all the air out of it, you're going, well, it needs the timing for its timing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's a, that's rough with.

[Brady Bogan]

Otherwise it looks like you're trying to.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you say that ESPN stuff used to do same thing. They would cut out all the breaths because funny people doing editing never happens.

[Brady Bogan]

That doesn't happen in sports. You don't, you don't, you don't. You cut, highlight to highlight to highlight to highlight. Maybe a little build, big highlight, highlight, highlight, highland. That's not how comedy works.

[John Holmberg]

No, you have to have that moment.

[Brady Bogan]

And you have to have, you have to have emotional connection.

[Brett Vesley]

Like you couldn't get that on the, on the editing side of it. Like, we don't have time.

[Brady Bogan]

I was too busy and I trusted everybody, which are. They were good people, but they were also just listening to what the network had to say. There's so many people in that stuff and you know, deciding how the final product. Product is going to look. And then it was, you know, I one thing I said I wanted it to have more of a film look and be not bright, not over the, the top bright. And by the time it got to TV was all bright.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Now it looks like cartoon.

[John Holmberg]

Do you have copies of Frank TV at the house?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't, I don't, don't have any of them. I probably have them somewhere.

[John Holmberg]

You have to. I don't like rough, like old, like outtakes and stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't, I don't really have any Frank. I don't save anything.

[John Holmberg]

I don't either, but that's one I would save. Yeah. TV show on TBS for a year. Two now year. The other year, nobody watched. Was it a year and a half? I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

No, it was. Got cut the first year. Got cut by the writers strike.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's.

[Brady Bogan]

Then the second year. Got cut by the public.

[John Holmberg]

Would you do it again?

[Brady Bogan]

No, not that kind of a show.

[John Holmberg]

What would you do?

[Brady Bogan]

I would do something more real based. I do something like we always talk about. Better Call Salt. I would rather do. I would rather be a small part of something really good.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I would rather be something interesting that can be. Be thought of as maybe funny, but different happening in a. In a drama. Because in real life, things aren't joke after joke after joke. It's awkward situations.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

It's. It's Larry Davidish.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, it's that. How do we get ourselves into this ridiculous moment? And somebody's always driving us into it. What's this all about? And why can't we stop it from happening?

[John Holmberg]

You would rather be in the Sopranos than curb your enthusiasm.

[Brett Vesley]

Lavelle Crawford.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Lavelle and Better Call Saul. And.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I like. I like that kind of stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, I don't mind. I would. I wouldn't not want to be on Curb, but I think in terms of doing a small part, especially if it. If it had moments of actual acting in it, I think that'd be more fun.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Like in Breaking Bad type of stuff. Or better Call Saul. Those things like when the Sklar brothers show up and Saul call. I'm like, ah, this is a dream.

[John Holmberg]

We're here last week. And they. I remember texting Jason or Randy. I don't know. I was texting Sclar is all it says on my phone, because I'm not sure I'm. They don't think I talked. I think they.

[Brady Bogan]

Which one of us has the mustache?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. You. I think they swap sometimes classes. But I was. I was texting with Randy, and I'm like, oh, my God. This is what you were telling me you couldn't talk about. He goes, yep. I wasn't even allowed to say I was on it. And I'm like, this is. This is in new. Like, my. Like, looking at you is different now because you're now part of.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. I don't ever get those where I have something that I'm in that I can't talk. I have the auditions that I can't talk about.

[John Holmberg]

Like, what I can't talk about. Well, you can now. You didn't get it?

[Brady Bogan]

No, there's. I'm trying to think about what's.

[John Holmberg]

Have you recently auditioned for anything?

[Brady Bogan]

I just did something yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding? Yeah. Is it serious?

[Brady Bogan]

No, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

No meaning. Not like a comedy. Like, is it serious that you could.

[Brady Bogan]

It's actually voiceover stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brady Bogan]

It's actually cartoons.

[John Holmberg]

That's why your brain's on that?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I think so.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. That's why when we were sex dolls, he brought up raccoons and squirrels. Well, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

What are you gonna do?

[John Holmberg]

That's why we'll say that's why.

[Brady Bogan]

Will Sasso. I thought you were gonna say lemon.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but Will Sasso's in that show with. That's a great.

[Brady Bogan]

He's got good stuff. He's been in some great.

[John Holmberg]

Really good stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

One of the things is, if you're around Hollywood and these guys are. He's a great. He's a very good actor. Great actor. And great comedically great impressions and all that kind of stuff, too. But you. You hang around Hollywood for a long time and people get to know you and they kind of will put you in little things eventually. If you're having me, I've been outside of it. You live in Hard Tempe.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody can tell.

[Brady Bogan]

It's on the border. One street over Chandler.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You go running across there all the time, but you just.

[Brady Bogan]

You got to be around people all the time. Just slinging it.

[John Holmberg]

Schmoozing. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You hate it.

[John Holmberg]

I just. That's why you're at the Desert Ridge Improv this weekend. What? Thursday or Friday through Friday, One show.

[Brady Bogan]

Because I demanded a single show.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right?

[Brady Bogan]

I won't. I don't. I hate you.

[John Holmberg]

Don't do.

[Brady Bogan]

If I can get out of two show Fridays, I do. Why I don't like the Late Show Friday? Because it's not fun.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean?

[Brady Bogan]

I need to have fun for the audience.

[John Holmberg]

Why is that not fun?

[Brady Bogan]

Because it's drunk or you're tired of just dealing? You know, we get good enough. You don't have to do second show Friday.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right? Yes.

[Brady Bogan]

And Saturday is always good because people have been off that day. But Friday, people go to work. Yeah, especially my audience. Mostly. Mostly people who work.

[John Holmberg]

You don't have a lot of unemployed fans.

[Brett Vesley]

The second show is the liquor show.

[Brady Bogan]

It's just not fun. It's just not.

[John Holmberg]

So it's the audience's fault. It's not fun.

[Brady Bogan]

And on a Friday late show.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no kidding.

[Brady Bogan]

You can make them good, but I.

[John Holmberg]

Don'T want to work that hard. I'm going to go stern on you. How much do you suppose what you just said is what, why? That somebody once told you if you're, if you're good enough, you don't have to do a late Friday show. So in your brain you're like, okay, that you made.

[Brady Bogan]

Because if it was good enough, if it was worth the money, I would.

[John Holmberg]

But you made. I'm that much of a you. Of course.

[Brady Bogan]

I just said, I just said. I just. That that's, that's like Chris Rock and.

[John Holmberg]

Keep it off the pole, you know.

[Brady Bogan]

That'S the same kind of thing.

[John Holmberg]

You're on the pole.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but. I know, but I mean in terms of you, you want the second show Friday. People, even the clubs, if they didn't have to do it, they wouldn't. But you have to for the economic model.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, but. So who's the late show Friday?

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not sure.

[John Holmberg]

You don't care?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You just don't care.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a drag show, but it'll be better for them because it'll be, it'll be whatever they have. It's the only show they probably have. It's you. I always say, well, get a tick tock star or there you go. Get somebody who's gonna do one show, come in and do a meet and greet for 600 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Have no act and oh, it's brutal.

[John Holmberg]

What would you be doing if it wasn't for the Frank Caliendo world you live in now? What's Frank's. What would you have done?

[Brady Bogan]

Only fans is out.

[John Holmberg]

You think you would have done anything that way?

[Brady Bogan]

No, no, there's. What would I have done? I used to tell people when I was a kid I want to be an architect. I had no interest in that.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know why.

[John Holmberg]

Just an Easy maybe.

[Brady Bogan]

Mr. Brady. That might have been the only reason.

[John Holmberg]

A lot of other reasons. You're very way to minute. Because he was homosexual in real life. No. Oh, I see. I didn't understand your follow up that.

[Brady Bogan]

One with those eyes. What twinkly go watch A Very Brady Christmas.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's when we all knew you could you. He was very gay then.

[Brady Bogan]

100%.

[John Holmberg]

The sweaters and the skinny and the like. He kept it together and he never, he didn't. He didn't turn into a heterosexual older man, tight architect. Yeah, he kept it tight with that family. So that's interesting. You.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, I what? What would I do?

[John Holmberg]

And what's Frank without comedy? What's comedy without teach. What? Yeah. No, no, I couldn't do. You wouldn't do that.

[Brady Bogan]

I wanted to teach, but I was going to. I was going to. Was enough money.

[John Holmberg]

Fiad. Who's that? Is that the. That's a middle. Oh, physical fad. You called it physical. I always called it fizz.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, we go f. You call it f Head.

[John Holmberg]

That's like a Middle Eastern kid's name name. Yeah. Fayed. I just teach Fayed.

[Brady Bogan]

That was our teacher.

[John Holmberg]

Give me your Fiat. I got something for you. I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

What would I.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know.

[Brett Vesley]

You've never thought Frank doing gym class?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Frank could do some gym. You. You were built like a gym teacher.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I got the bike shorts.

[John Holmberg]

You did the baby shorts, the whistle. Yeah, yeah, I can see you yelling at Donner. Yeah, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Like Mr. Pfeiffer used to.

[John Holmberg]

Who's that?

[Brady Bogan]

That was my gym teacher.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you had.

[Brady Bogan]

Mr. Pfeiffer was built.

[John Holmberg]

He was jacked and he had.

[Brady Bogan]

He. He was. He was the freshman coach for a year, then he moved up to the high. Like the. The up the ranks in high school. But he was strong. He was a powerhouse.

[John Holmberg]

We had. Brett went to the same junior high as I, and we had. He did. You did. Yeah. You're younger than me. And Coach Morgan was a bodybuilder. Chippendales dancer. And.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, coach Leanne Morgan.

[John Holmberg]

That's right, Leanne Morgan. That's right, Leanne. Number three on that Netflix. Holmberg's morning sickness and Chippendale. Remember that?

[Brady Bogan]

Michelle loves Leanne Morgan. Tried to watch that show and was like, it can't.

[John Holmberg]

You can't watch it.

[Brady Bogan]

Can't do it.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. People are talking about that show like it's great.

[Brady Bogan]

Like, there's double Amazons there.

[John Holmberg]

Well, beyond that, every single line, there's a laughter track. Like, they'll even.

[Brady Bogan]

Like, I didn't even see it. And that's why I predicted.

[John Holmberg]

Y. My grandma's dead. Stop it. No, I'm just saying lies. They're bathing the grandma. They never explain why they're bathing the grandma. I watched it. I hate watching. I'm like, what is happening here? It's like, we just gotta get her in the tub. No, that's not funny. That's horrifying. The whole show is. Every line is a laugh. Hi, I'm home.

[Brady Bogan]

Chuck Roh is involved.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's like a dude who knows what he's doing. Yeah, we're gonna get you. It's.

[Brady Bogan]

It's Netflix.

[John Holmberg]

It's.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, it's the world.

[John Holmberg]

The dumbing down of Everything all right. Tell us who you're working on. Who's something that. What are you watching? What in public. What in the public is a voice guy working on? I have found that I don't work on anybody anymore.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't really until it hits me.

[John Holmberg]

Because it has to like, until I get it like it used to.

[Brady Bogan]

We usually go back and forth.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We haven't done that in forever. Where you get a new guy and you're like, hey, I got this new. But I don't know that anything. Like I've said that AI killed him impressions because. And I also think that tick tock and stuff did too. Because makes impressionists who are good at it look at people are like, that's not very good. And people are going nuts over it. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know. Trying to think what's. I've been throwing lots of little things in there aren't even that. That aren't even that. It like the Mark Ruffalo finds its way into the act and the. The I. I find that I try to use them as sound effects now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

As a. Which was my goal at the beginning because I loved Robin Will. Jonathan Winters.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Jonathan Winters would more play as the character the whole time. But I always like to think of as like a radio producer. You do this yourself, John. But pressing the button at the right time. Like, I'll say I'm talking about watching Obama and how Obama would, you know, hypnotize you with the way he talked.

[John Holmberg]

In the slow at the beginning and speed up at the end.

[Brady Bogan]

And you're sitting there. It didn't matter what he'd say. We must rectify a difficult situation that we're contemplating in perpetuity. And then you're just sitting there going, yeah, yeah. And then you turn into Owen Wilson.

[Brett Vesley]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

That is really, really great. That is unbelievable.

[Brady Bogan]

So it's just using those little ones and then I can call it back and do this. But so much of my act is like walking around as Joe Biden aiming when people got mad. Like I was in Philadelphia the night. The day they. They came out and finally said something like, man, Joe Biden might not have been all there, you know, the whole time. And I'm thinking that that's news to whom.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. How did.

[Brady Bogan]

And I'm actually putting the M on who.

[John Holmberg]

And Joe wouldn't have. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I. I could have told you.

[John Holmberg]

I told you.

[Brady Bogan]

So the M. Your.

[John Holmberg]

Hands, not your mouth in. In whom's frosted place. Whom's mouth to the M's. Who's on first.

[Brett Vesley]

How many licks does it get to.

[John Holmberg]

The center of an Eminem? Three. Who? Who? Three. Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow. I could get to the center in one.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm already in the center.

[Brett Vesley]

I've got.

[Brady Bogan]

I drilled to the center of the.

[John Holmberg]

When you look to the center, you'll find me.

[Brady Bogan]

I just found out. I just realized we are impression Squad brothers.

[John Holmberg]

It's annoying, but it's so the.

[Brady Bogan]

So when I. My joke has become. Because some people get, like, upset about, like, you're making fun of Joe Biden. I'm like, no, I make fun of Joe Biden when he was president and completely healthy.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't see it. It's just the guy I'm doing. Yeah. People made jokes about it, and then they. They get upset when you trying to.

[Brady Bogan]

Figure out how to get. Because I can't get it right. I don't know if you've just started doing them or doing him, but the Elon Musk.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's a tough one. There's that thing that happens, you know.

[Brady Bogan]

You know.

[John Holmberg]

You know, he's got.

[Brady Bogan]

And it takes me a while to get into it, and then I can find it, but I can't do it.

[John Holmberg]

I've noticed the Elon Musk thing because I did it for a little bit. I tried to get one and I stopped when he was going crazy. And on TV every day is that he doesn't move his mouth. It's all tongue work, right?

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And so. Yes.

[Brady Bogan]

Ventriloquist.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He's not great at it.

[Brady Bogan]

He's not great.

[John Holmberg]

He's an amateur. Venturi. That's what it is.

[Brady Bogan]

Thank you. See how do I work on new stuff?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'm learning everything. I come see you guys. Elon Musk and. And Jeff Dunham puppet. Yeah. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And it's. And it's Biden.

[John Holmberg]

What the hell? Yeah. There it is. Walter. That's beautiful.

[Brady Bogan]

And I'm Peanut. Look at the size of my peanut. Peanut.

[John Holmberg]

That's a great idea. I'm a Fusel. The fact that he's a. That's perfect. He's a ventriloquist. He's not great at it.

[Brady Bogan]

He's just a. A beginner ventriloquist. He's just gotten the record albums.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brady Bogan]

He's been playing Edgar Bergen.

[John Holmberg]

He still struggles with V's and V's. V's and V's. Vs and V's are tough. V's and V's. It's amazing amount of waste. It's amazing amount.

[Brady Bogan]

It's funny how yours became a Nazi.

[John Holmberg]

Well, how you doing? He did the thing, the salute. Anyway. Oh, Frank is here goofing with us. But he's at the Desert Ridge Improv this week.

[Brady Bogan]

I gotta head out soon.

[John Holmberg]

I know. We gotta get you out. Desert Ridge Improv, that's where you go. We have a load of laundry.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh no, I put an alarm in.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, for what?

[Brady Bogan]

The house. Keep it safe.

[John Holmberg]

You live in a gated neighborhood.

[Brady Bogan]

Who do you think I'm trying to keep.

[John Holmberg]

Keep up? The other gated. The other gated people are trying to get into your house.

[Brett Vesley]

Double gate system.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, a gated neighborh. You have alarms? It's a waste of money.

[Brady Bogan]

No, it's not.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely no. Well that's like when they have. I always look at churches that have cameras. I'm like, you don't believe.

[Brady Bogan]

You think there's no alarms on places with gates?

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't think there's a need for it. I think that's a. That's a ridiculous amount of fear. How many break ins have you had?

[Brady Bogan]

Climbers. There. There are people all over.

[John Holmberg]

There's people having sex with raccoons. Squirrels burning around, walking out of that house.

[Brady Bogan]

Squirrels dropping their.

[John Holmberg]

There has never been a need for that.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh yeah, no there are.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What's the worst thing that's happened in your community?

[Brady Bogan]

Somebody put a pool in.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God. Well then there's some landscapers you have to worry about as well. That's really who you're trying to protect against is the people you hire to come do the work you want. Yeah, great people. Great people. I love them. Some of supposed to be some have disappeared too. They don't come to work anymore.

[Brady Bogan]

And I know why you talk about elite, Ellen, being a ventriloquist. Some of these workers, they're magicians.

[Brett Vesley]

They disappear.

[John Holmberg]

Did you see today that they're going to paint the border fence black to make it hotter? That's real? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. We're doing that by the touch. That's why Elon quit. It was waste and fraud and everything else. Then we're going to take. We're going to go to Benjamin Moore and paint the entire fence black just because it's too hot for Mexicans to climb. That's why they're doing it.

[Brady Bogan]

And does will the black paint absorb that much?

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, makes a difference.

[Brady Bogan]

We couldn't just put shards of something in it. Maybe just put shards of glass in the paint.

[John Holmberg]

Actually what a great idea would have put heating coils in it and just it's too bloody. Or fire. Just have it Fire. Fire all the time. Always.

[Brady Bogan]

I climbed up a wall of burning fire. No, you didn't.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't climb up it. You didn't make it.

[Brett Vesley]

You didn't make it.

[John Holmberg]

Hopefully you people can really jump. I've heard rumors and I hope you can make it over because right now got get. But yeah, so that's a. That's a real thing. Interesting. An alarm on your house. Yeah. You don't have one. Well, yeah, but I address. Well, I'll tell you, it's got.

[Brady Bogan]

No need.

[John Holmberg]

I've got no gates. There's no code. I can't. Cameras.

[Brett Vesley]

Why not just camera.

[Brady Bogan]

You can get into our neighborhood. You can get into our neighborhood without. You can crawl under the gate.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody would see that.

[Brett Vesley]

I know it all the time.

[John Holmberg]

Brady. If Brady can crawl under the gate. It's not a gate, first of all. It's. It's basically a house jump. But if that's beginners limbo, there's no camera at the gate to your neighborhood.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know. I don't think so.

[John Holmberg]

There has to be. What's the point of the whole gate?

[Brady Bogan]

Our neighborhood is more of a.

[John Holmberg]

It's paranoid white women.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes. No, it's.

[John Holmberg]

It's.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a privacy gate. Ours is a privacy gate.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

It's not actually a security. And that's probably for.

[John Holmberg]

Interesting.

[Brett Vesley]

But why all of a sudden.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, now you want.

[Brady Bogan]

No, we had an alarm. We're just updating the alarm because our alarm armed itself the other day and called the police.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it did.

[Brady Bogan]

And Michelle was not home and I was there eating an Rx bar. And the police officer comes up to me. He's like. And she had, she called. She goes, did you. Did you press a distress signal on the alarm? I'm like, no. But I walk out into the. Where the alarm is. I look at it. It says armed. Joey and I are the only one home. He's at the back house. He's not there and he wouldn't touch the. He hates the alarm.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Because he likes to steal. So he. I look at it and it says armed. And then I put in the code and it turns off. And I'm like, I don't know what happened. So while she was talking to me, I was hanging something in the closet or something like that. She calls me and says, did you set off the alarm? I said, no. She said, I'm on with the police right now. They're going to, they're going to come because can you. Can you look at it?

[John Holmberg]

Can you.

[Brady Bogan]

Can you give us the code word or whatever? She does the code word, and there's like, we have to come out. And I go out, and that's when I see it's still armed. And nobody had armed it, so it.

[John Holmberg]

Somehow called the cops on itself.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, and it had. And then I talked to the guy who's the alarm guy who's gonna eventually probably redo our alarm maybe today. He said, well, that's a totally different signal. That is the code you put in. If.

[John Holmberg]

Is it connected?

[Brady Bogan]

You're already broken in.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, when you're in distress and somebody's in distress. Yeah, no kidding.

[Brady Bogan]

So that's what it called, and that's why they couldn't call off, because it was still armed and that code had not been put in.

[John Holmberg]

So the only thing that has ever broken into your house that's caused distress is the alarm itself.

[Brady Bogan]

Possibly, maybe even the cops. No, I. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

And you're appeasing Michelle is what you're doing. She wants the new alarm. Yes. Yeah, that's pretty much all. I just say so that's okay.

[Brady Bogan]

But I think I don't mind having. I just don't like turning it on. And it's got a new app and all sorts of stuff. The app that it was on, because I asked her, I go, did you have the app open that it could have done that? And she's like, no, we got to go to break.

[John Holmberg]

And Frank's got to go, is it connected to your blood pressure? Perhaps Maybe that's there.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a very big possibility that your blood pressure improv. I'm doing this so Toledo will have me back.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Desertimprov.com as always, Frank Calendo is interesting, and we had. Interesting not good or funny. I hate when you honest. That's better. That's better. He was quite interesting today. That was a nice chat. I can't believe we're friends.

[Brady Bogan]

That's why. That's.

[John Holmberg]

You know what?

[Brady Bogan]

That's why people on the Internet don't.

[John Holmberg]

Believe we're friends, because they'll say, john said you're interesting. That means he didn't like thing.

[Brett Vesley]

No.

[John Holmberg]

What am I, Johnny Carson? I didn't give you the okay. I don't really care.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't really care. I just know it's gonna be.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna get hit with it. You're interesting. That was interesting. That's better. Everybody knows you're funny.

[Brady Bogan]

I believe better. Interesting's better.

[John Holmberg]

But this is a better word.

[Brady Bogan]

Funniest course. And I frankonstage.com to see what really happened today.

[John Holmberg]

Frank is present. Would have been awful. So I had to come up with something new. I got Frank's last visit. Yeah, well, for Brady, maybe. You know, Geez. Any final words for Brady?

[Brady Bogan]

I'll try and pop in Friday.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, for sure. Just say goodbye. Yes.

[Brady Bogan]

No, I just figured I'm the dick. You guys have been making that same joke for weeks. I came in the school. I know.

[John Holmberg]

That's like our N word. We're allowed to kill Brady. You're not. You're not here.

[Brady Bogan]

Brady with a hard arm.

[John Holmberg]

He said hard on first. His last one. Gotta get that in. Yeah. Anyway, all right.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm gonna try.

[John Holmberg]

We'll talk to you.

[Brett Vesley]

He won't be.

[John Holmberg]

Frank will be here. Yeah, he'll be here. All right. Good luck. Give him a hug. Goodbye, Frank. Caliendo Desert ridgeimprov.com hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this. You P.D. hberg's morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. There you go. It's Hooba Stank right there in the morning sickness. Frank was just here and Kyle emails in, says, I hope Frank doesn't think he failed on the radio today. I found him immediately amusing. What a. What a great review.

[Brett Vesley]

That'll be next time he's in here.

[John Holmberg]

He said, frank, you were amazing. Frank was amusing today. Thanks for being on NPR's Next. Look, we got the rock wars coming up in just a little bit, but. What are you doing? Is that okay? I was going to make sure we got. I wanted to point this out because it's a story that I've seen now twice this morning. Here's the fun thing. Ozempic is making everybody skinny, which is a good. I guess that's good. But I'm. I fear that if you don't do it the right way, there's going to be long term ramifications. You just look at what it does to your body and you start thinking to yourself, well, this might not be so great for you in the end. And a lot of people are struggling that once it's over and it's expensive, once it's over, the weight comes piling back on and it's in a really bad way. So hopefully most people change their lives and stuff like that after the Ozempic gives them a helping hand to lose weight. Here's something that's happening, happening though that they're discovering now. Ozempic's been around for about. It's been around for a while, but as a weight loss drug in this kind of volume that we've been getting, hasn't. Haven't had a lot of tests on what it'll do for people who don't need it for the diabetes stuff and are just using it for weight loss. One of the side effects they have to add in now is something called Ozempic Vulva. Great band name. So you get skinny, but you get something called. Sorry. Sagging Labia is the also great band name. Ozempic Vulva.

[Brett Vesley]

That's their single.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Sagging Labyrinth. It's Ozempic Vulva's first release. I don't like saying those words. So you get a body that makes people go, man, I'd that you have a vagina that nobody wants to. Sagging labia is different than like a girl who's got a biggin. It's the skin around it starts to kind of melt and it just starts. I'm out. I'm with you, I'm out. And it also causes dryness out and weakness, which means it can come tumbling out at any time on top of it all. So. So keep getting skinny, ladies. The risk is not worth the reward. The bigger problem, other than the sagging of the outer labia is the weakness of the vaginal muscles caused by Ozempic, which means this thing just becomes lazy. It's like somebody with down syndrome's mouth. It's just kind of hanging open with tongue sticking out. Anyways, this, you should be very careful. If you start to notice this, it's not going to get better, it's going to get worse. And stop using those Epic. Also, a lot of people who have it are already really big. So if you're already fat and you're losing weight, the skin and all that stuff has to go somewhere. And if you think about the way a body's built, right there in that center is where a lot of it'll sag out. Dudes have it. Dudes on those Epic. If your balls get longer, they're gonna get longer no matter what it says. It's also common for rapid weight loss to cause the labia to suddenly feel out of proportion compared to its previous feeling that seems to have hit the number or the nail on the head. For a number of ladies who have been complaining that zempic vulva and everything that comes with it. A lady posted that she was explaining she wanted to know if she was the only one left feeling seriously out of sorts by the change in her appearance of her private parts. She said, I've lost 30% of my starting weight. I have a significant change in my body shape. But one of the weirder side effects is that I'm far more aware now of what I have down there. And not in a sexual way. It gets in the way. Jesus Christ.

[Brady Bogan]

Flapping?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's like. It's like those weird paddles they use at Japanese baseball games in the crowd when they start. Hands. Yeah. They're like those two hands that are on the thing and you move them back and forth and they clap. That's what you got those used car balloons that are just waving around and stuff. I guess that's. Man, that would be the ultimate dream, though. I would actually like that.

[Brett Vesley]

I forget what they call flapping around.

[John Holmberg]

Like if a girl dropped trout and she had one of those used car lot fun guys down there and he's just. And you put a fan on it and it starts to do it. That's entertaining.

[Brett Vesley]

I'm buying.

[John Holmberg]

I'm buying too. It's gonna sound like a chopper landing at the 4077. No way. I'm out. What do you got going on down here, Hunt? This is. Yeah. Wow. I got in there, I got laid and I got a. I got a 2020 Prius. Yeah, I would, I. I would. If you had a. If you had a wacky, fun airman. When the air hit it and it started to waver out, that would work. At least I can use it for entertainment. If it's just laying there lazy, it's just all over the place like it's not the kind of entertainment you want down there. It's like somebody spilled a Yoohoo on the sheets. Strawberry. Anyway, that's not what I'm here to talk about. It's almost rock wars and we gotta go fast. Oh, God. Somebody. I just got things of John. Do not Google sagging, labia. It's worse than you can imagine. Oh, no. Brett will do it. In the meantime, we've got rock wars while Brett does the research for us. Because I didn't Google that either. I didn't think that they had pictures up already. Now I've seen some sloppy on the Internet, but I don't know that I've seen sagging. That just sounds sad. Like a Depressed vagina. We've had that before.

[Brett Vesley]

Said it. I thought maybe it's someone that is really big and they lost a lot of weight using those puffs.

[John Holmberg]

It way. Oh, God. It's all. There you go. Out of proportion. And one side hanging lower than the other. Good Lord. And those look like women who didn't have like a lot of weight loss. Sagging labia. Most of it's drawings because nobody wants to see the real thing. Remember the depressed vagina years ago and that women were suffering from depressed vagina?

[Brady Bogan]

Depressed.

[John Holmberg]

Looking at this.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

God, it was such a tough day.

[Brett Vesley]

Like this.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Oh, God. Well, that's just elderly. All right. Turn it off. That's Mr. Ed. Turn it off.

[Brett Vesley]

All fixed up with labia.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, said anybody using your pinky trick for your balls to keep their labia out of the water when they pee, you know you've got a problem, ladies, when your labia skin has to do my. If you feel it dip in the water. Like my ball sack. Man, was I deep in the water the other day. Righty. Went for a ride on a log. Hit it. Like, what am I? Oh. Oh.

[Brett Vesley]

I'm picturing.

[John Holmberg]

It's like when you went to like.

[Brett Vesley]

Z Gallery or somewhere on a picture place. And you're pulling the pictures.

[John Holmberg]

The.

[Brett Vesley]

The giant pictures.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, on the.

[Brett Vesley]

Pulling the. The sections. One of the. A time or rugs.

[John Holmberg]

Hanging my ball. Oh, Jesus God. That's too organized, though. At least they're squared off. These weren't even level.

[Brett Vesley]

It's on a rug rack.

[John Holmberg]

The bubbles way off to the right. Anyway, again, I just wanted to bring up the story and let people on Ozempic know that that's what's going on with your vagina. So lose all that weight, look great in clothes, but don't take your clothes off because it's just as bad as it was before. It's time now for Rock Wars. I have the topic. And we talked about Brady's family a lot over the years. And he brought us some more information about Grandma Ruth getting electroshock therapy and multiple trips in and out of loony bins, where she ended up inevitably passing away on medicine day. Brady had no questions about this. We all do. Definitely murdered or not cared for properly. A lawsuit should have ensued. However, Brady also has told us about how his Uncle Jack slept with the landscaper. That's dangerous. We had the napped. That's what I just said. They slept together. Yeah, they slept well. The guy should have been.

[Brett Vesley]

I don't know if they Slept Okay.

[John Holmberg]

What were they doing? Okay.

[Brett Vesley]

That's all I know.

[John Holmberg]

The landscaper and your Uncle Jack, who was young at the time, a teen boy was laying. Yes, somebody was laying some pipe. And of course, as most people have experienced in life, that the landscaper said, I'm tired. And Jack said, me too. Let's lay down together. A common worker of the yard. You don't cuddle up with Al. Yeah. No. Al and I never do that.

[Brett Vesley]

But the flowers made him drowsy, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because his poppies. And he put them to sleep with them and raped your Uncle Jack. And Uncle Jack had a thing. A lot of stories in Brady's deal. And I've often said that if. Had he ever chronicled any of this with any reality, instead of trying to fix it all by saying, oh, yeah, sure, Grandma Ruth was antisocial. She needed electroshock therapy. That's not exactly why she was put into a loony bin. You don't put people in looney bins multiple times for just not being fun at parties. Had Brady asked questions, had he done it, he could have written the greatest sitcom of all time. The Bogan Family. I want a theme song for the Bogan family. Knowing all the episodes we know, starting with the pilot episode. Hey, my aunts are awesome. Because he got to see his aunt's cans in a hot tub once because she decided to take her shirt off while she sat with Brady and a friend topless. Brady didn't get out of the hot tub. He actually said the phrase, my aunt has a nice figure. So there's a lot of, you know, deflection and denial. A theme song for the Bogan Family sitcom. Time to visit Grandma Ruth. You've got all sorts of. My dad is. His dad was in the Cuban Revolution. He's got a sister from the lunch lady that he doesn't talk about. Nobody talks about. No man has ever driven great distances to visit the lunch lady from school. Unless he knocked her up. Yeah. And then Henrietta answered the door. Hi, my name's Henrietta. Who are you? My name's Brady. I think we have a lot in common. Right away. I think we're best friends. Meanwhile, dad visited the lunch lady again. Lot of episodes. The episodes are never ending. AI would write a great episode. Give us the theme song. You can text [e-mail] or you can. What is that other thing? Well, that's the text line. 97936. You can email [e-mail] text 97936 we'll give us your suggestions. We'll find out what's next in rock wars. Morning sickness. Big bang, baby. Toledo good ad. Was a Toledo push. Even Larry said just big bang, baby. Larry came in a programmer. Big bang, baby. Nice job, guys. Yeah, doing a job you don't have to anymore. Just Toledo. Nice work. It's time for rock wars and got to do a quick one. So it's going to be on you, kid. More than likely. Theme song for Brady's family sitcom, which should be happening. It is a one story after the next phenomenon. Toledo's right there too. I might have that happen right on with. You know, the same night after the bogans hang around for Toledo's mad house. Does your grandmother. And the stories that went on with that and the dad leaving and the kid getting hit by the bus and all the crazy that went on up there in my Montana following what goes on over there. The country club that didn't allow blacks. The. All the house guests. I mean, you guys had a. It was like when Gilligan's island was a cartoon. They had guest stars every week. Had some new person from another country come in and ruin it. My cousins have different dads.

[Brady Bogan]

They found out in their 40s.

[John Holmberg]

Then he had that too. The. Yeah, that's the. What was it? One of it? Olive. The black lady you took to show and tell in your lily white weird neighborhood. Amazing.

[Brett Vesley]

It was a beautiful day.

[John Holmberg]

The guy standing naked in the windows. Yeah. Bob Ray next door. These are sitcom episodes that you get 10 years out of. Just the stories we know. If we could un. Meanwhile, Brady wakes up with wet pants every morning and nobody asks why. Left handed. Oh my God. Pissy the puff pillow. Pissy the puff pillow. Only to you it was puffy. Everybody else called it Pissy. The Bogan show is a hit. We need a theme song for it. Brett, I would like you to go first. All right. Well, this song. I mean, literally listening to these stories, it's crazy. From Brady. It's. It's insane. And this. This song could actually go for the Toledos too. Yeah. Because it's amazing that either one of you two came out semi normal. So the only way to go with it is institutionalized from suicide. You're bringing it up there. Okay, you know, I'll figure it out. I'll figure it out. You know, I'm just working on myself. This is Brady. I figured out myself. See the credits rolling. Yeah. Starring B. Poken. He doesn't want to talk about it. It's nice. Institutionalized. Because that's fitting. Grandma Ruth. Yeah. They'd have episodes where we got to road trip out there to go see Grandma Ruth. Get her Buzz buzz. Wondering how come the vice in the basement is always the same size as Grandma Ruth's head. For ease. Keys could be jumper cables and stuff, you know. Hey, yeah. Jumper cable keychains for the Grandma Ruth episode. That would be as famous as when KRP dropped the turkeys. Oh man, there's Grandma Ruth. Back to normal. Brady, what is the theme song for your family's TV show?

[Brett Vesley]

Kind of went along the same lines as Brett, but I went with azy Crazy Train.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Not bad. Something that family would say. We have to learn to love and forget to hate. Mental wounds that heal. I like what you both did. You both went the route of telling the audience everybody's crazy. But I think of the Brady sitcom as the chappelle sketch where the family had that nword for a last name. Everybody just kind of looked past it. Looking at the world through Rose Colored Glasses by the great Frank S. See it. Start looking at the world through rose colored glasses. Everything is rosy. Did you see a picture of Brady waving to the camera starring D.B. bogan. Grandma Rose.

[Brett Vesley]

He would be coming out the front door.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, every one of them. Grandma Rose has giant bruises on her temples. Fidel Castro just walks by.

[Brett Vesley]

There's a straight jacket hanging in the background.

[John Holmberg]

The drug addict on the roof in the window. There's a naked guy in the window next door.

[Brett Vesley]

As the beaver.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. And as the pisser, D.B. bogan. Howdy, folks. You'd have to have a catchphrase. I'm wet again. The lights dim. Everybody knows what it means after a while. Looks like Grandma got out of line again. Hey, hey. Yeah. Looking at the world through rose colored glass. Very real. It's 9:51. We only have one option here and that's you, John Gordon. Come on over here and pick a winner for this week's Rock wars. Will it be institutionalized for Brady's insane family? Will it be a Crazy Train by Ozzy? Or will it be Looking at the world through Rose Colored Glasses by Frank Sinatra and Count Basie? Oh, is he in the second? Count Basie. Wow, look at that. He wasn't allowed in the club though.

[Brett Vesley]

Guest artist.

[John Holmberg]

You know, when you get. Oh yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Featuring.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you hear his assignment?

[John Holmberg]

Say what?

[Brett Vesley]

You say it's a club.

[John Holmberg]

He wasn't allowed in Brady's club. That's true. That's right. It was a good point. If we have him Winning. We got to find a. We have to white face up Count Basie to do the live Kenny G in or something. Well, they might swear they're not crazy, but they definitely are, and they are institutionalized. There it is. Damn you. Yes. Thank you.

[Brett Vesley]

Jeez.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, guy says, let's talk about the episode where grandma Ruth in the furniture shop needed all the plastic. Plastic wrap, you know, for the squirting.

[Brett Vesley]

They didn't do that.

[John Holmberg]

Say, capellette, how come you got so much plastic on all the furniture in here? Hey, Grandma Ruth likes to walk around sometimes after a bowel movement naked. And we had to make sure we didn't have to get outside. I got something to do to your grandma. The home kit.

[Brett Vesley]

They didn't do that to the couches, but they did have the runner. That's right, the plastic runner on the.

[John Holmberg]

Which was also the carpet from grandma. Like her brain juice leaking out of her nostrils on the rug.

[Brady Bogan]

Those either.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, that's an expensive rug. I got that in the revolution. Get back here. Her nickname was the runner. Get her. All right. Institutionalized it is. We'll, after the break, knock the set out first. Okay, we'll knock these out. We'll play a little institutionalized for you next. There you go. Congratulations, Brett. It's not yet weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. All right. Thank you very much. Suicidal tendencies with the win, Brett. Nice job. Congratulations. Thank you. Brett's favorite band of all time. Pulling one off there. So many sprays. Telling us more stories about his family and how that neighbor who got naked in the window once evidently was naked, like five or six other times. Bob Ray, the naked neighbor, and you guys dealt with it, called him a flasher, but he'd just stand there totally nude.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, the two times.

[John Holmberg]

That's not a flasher. That's a sexual predator. Oh, you assume sexual predator when your neighbor is nude in the yard?

[Brett Vesley]

Well, they addressed it.

[John Holmberg]

Did it stop?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Are you sure?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. As far as you know.

[Brady Bogan]

As far as he knows.

[John Holmberg]

You just moved it to a different neighborhood.

[Brett Vesley]

Then we moved. Moved? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Then you guys moved.

[Brett Vesley]

We. My mom and dad, after 28 years, sold the house. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They intended to sell the house. Or was it because Bob Ray, naked next door, was.

[Brett Vesley]

They were selling the house because their intention was they wanted to go and do the Peace Corps thing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, so he was getting there years after you'd moved out.

[Brett Vesley]

No, I was. I was still. I would have been in high school.

[John Holmberg]

They went and did the Peace Corps and left you here.

[Brett Vesley]

They got rejected because my dad had kidney stones.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, is that why?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, that's what they told him.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. It wasn't nothing to do with the Cuban Revolution. Brett and his history. Yeah. You can't be in the Peace Corps.

[Brett Vesley]

With kidney stones with medical issues at the time they were worried about.

[John Holmberg]

Huh. Where is he gonna go to?

[Brett Vesley]

You know, anywhere from, like, Honduras.

[John Holmberg]

Horrible African nations that had no hospitals.

[Brett Vesley]

I think that's their thought process.

[John Holmberg]

So he had to go that place where if he had a kidney stone, no one could treat him. That was the problem. Or. Or it's just a lie.

[Brett Vesley]

They strung him along. Well, they said, oh, yeah, you're good.

[John Holmberg]

Like right away on the day one applications. Do you suffer from any medical thing that would.

[Brett Vesley]

That was the thing. Wouldn't that. If you knew this. That the whole time?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Why didn't you just let that. Because they were saying, oh, yeah, we're gonna be really good. And then they decided, no, we're not gonna let you.

[John Holmberg]

Those are those moments when you're having a conversation with your mom. You're like, mom, that doesn't make any sense.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Tell me what really happened. No, it was kidney stones. We tried for a year and they rejected us. No, they were like operatives in the KGB or something weird.

[Brett Vesley]

They were going to. To Cuba.

[John Holmberg]

Your parents were Mr. And Mrs. Smith. You don't even know it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, man.

[John Holmberg]

Mission got called off, and you can join the Peace Corps, do anything you want, but they would ask you right away, do you have any medical issues that'll keep you from having to go to these places?

[Brett Vesley]

And they go. You go through kind of like a physical. They check out like he had him at the time.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe he had kidney stones and they had to cancel that trip.

[Brett Vesley]

He didn't have them at the time, but he had them in the past, so it could happen. Happen again. Again. Like I said, I think the disappointing thing for them is why didn't you tell us from the get go? Rather than saying, that's what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

That should be one of their first questions. If it's going to stop the process, they're wasting their time. And evidently it wasn't, which makes me. No, evidently, the story is bull. Your mom lied to you, and that's what they. That's the Story they go with then.

[Brett Vesley]

My dad killed three people from the pizza.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know. You're just. See now you're doing that rose colored glasses thing to try to deflect. You don't know. But that's not a real story. Blocking. When things don't add up like that, you got to go, nope, doesn't make sense. Start over.

[Brett Vesley]

Makes absolute.

[John Holmberg]

No, it doesn't. If the Peace Corps. One thing is that you can't go to the next place if you've got a pre existing condition. They're going to waste their time. Then they didn't have a rule.

[Brett Vesley]

Obviously they. They kicked it down the road a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

They would.

[Brett Vesley]

Our final decision is we don't.

[John Holmberg]

We're not that. Because you had kidneys stones years ago. Yeah. I'm gonna take this risk going forward. Doesn't make sense.

[Brady Bogan]

This is insane.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't make sense.

[Brett Vesley]

It has to be five. It was like five years. Over five years.

[John Holmberg]

It adds up. It doesn't add up.

[Brett Vesley]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

No, it doesn't. It just doesn't. All right. Peace Corps are made up. It's a big. I'm not saying that's made up. I'm saying that's not a proper answer. There's a. Questions that have to be asked there. The Peace Corps wouldn't waste their time interviewing people if one of their prerequisites was. If you. If you've had any of these conditions in the last five years, don't bother us. So they wouldn't have hemmed and hawed over it for a long time. Nobody's. No family is worth that. They're not going to sit and go, well, it is the Bogans. We can. No, it just. It doesn't make sense. It just doesn't. You know, you got to see through them.

[Brett Vesley]

They made a mistake. Then who did and sold the house.

[John Holmberg]

And that's what I'm saying. You got to the point where you sold the house.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. They were ready to go. They're downsizing.

[John Holmberg]

And the Peace Corps never once said there's three or four things that are changing from this. You with me on this one. I'm trying. Yeah. That's. There's no way rough. You sold your home and then they're like, never mind. We forgot to tell you one of.

[Brett Vesley]

Our major again my. You know, I was out of college.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brett Vesley]

Everyone was out. It was just them.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. You're not getting the full story or something not true and something not right there. You don't see holes in that.

[Brett Vesley]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Brett Vesley]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You're surprised.

[Brett Vesley]

Turns you down last minute for something.

[John Holmberg]

That they would have asked day one.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, they asked right off the bat, but they're saying they decided no. We don't want to take that risk.

[John Holmberg]

But why did they at first.

[Brett Vesley]

Don't know. Wasn't there.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm saying. No, there's holes in the story.

[Brett Vesley]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

This is the entertainment troll. This is entertainment. Wow. That's why you're. That's why your family's so interesting. You just accept that. Doesn't seem like there. Seems like they accept when Peace Corps.

[Brett Vesley]

Says, sorry, you can't.

[John Holmberg]

I understand that, but I understand you're. See, you're doing it right now.

[Brett Vesley]

No, I don't understand. But no, it wasn't. You know, was I upset for them?

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brett Vesley]

I thought it was. You know, you're more mad at the Peace Corps. Why wouldn't they say that from the get go?

[John Holmberg]

Right. Because they wouldn't have considered it.

[Brett Vesley]

I mean, a government agency. Agency not being super efficient on stuff.

[John Holmberg]

The Peace Corps government. I don't think it's a government agency.

[Brett Vesley]

Isn't it financed by the.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I don't know where it's financed.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Kennedy started the Peace Corps.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I know he started it, but it was as a. Like, I don't know if it was a government maybe facilitated thing, but either way, there's holes in that story. Tons of them.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it's not the Peace Corps only that would just go. Yeah, we changed our mind. Sorry. Sorry about that.

[Brett Vesley]

You think it's something that my. That.

[John Holmberg]

No, I just think there's probably.

[Brett Vesley]

That was going on with my dad or mom.

[John Holmberg]

Don't know. That's where the questions come in. But I know them. Just saying. Yeah. Never mind. On the whole house sale and all the stuff we put you through. Forgot to ask you day one if there's any of these things. I mean, they were older, right.

[Brett Vesley]

But I don't think usually most, you know, you go Peace Corps right out of college or.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, sure. Something went on. I'm gonna ask Bunny. Next time I see or talk to Bunny, I'm gonna ask her a couple. Give you the number. Yeah, okay. I'll talk to her. Because it'll be like, finally, I'll do. Yeah, we'll drill her. Yeah. And she'll be like, I can't. I don't want to tell. And kidney stones click.

[Brett Vesley]

You'll come away with the same thing.

[John Holmberg]

There's holes in the I know, but I'll tell her. No, you never tell her. Mom, this doesn't make sense. Someone has to tell her. That doesn't make any sense.

[Brett Vesley]

They could have maybe asked some more questions.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Maybe. Or they just didn't.

[John Holmberg]

I sell my house to start a new. A new life with some group that has accepted me to the point where I've actually sold my home.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, I mean I'm pretty sure regardless. But this. Let's just do this now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I gotcha. Anyway, there's your entertainment drill. Reactdefense.com the home of tactical black self defense training. No questions. No problem. Just punch me in the head as much as you can. That's it? No, just. Yeah. Run. Run from everything when Brady goes. Did I tell you about the time? Just run. Just run. Runaway. It's incomplete. It's a story, but there's holes in it. But reactdefense.com will fill those holes. You can defend yourself in one of Brady's stories and all the questions you'll have afterwards. You'll need it. Actually, I think they're going to open a bar so you can drink these stories [e-mail]. it's the only defense. And that's a beautiful thing. Reactdefense.com is right there in front of you. Two months, one 99 bucks. Easy peasy. It's the home of tactical black. You got any good ones real quick? No, nothing. Come on, don't be a baby. Do you have any good stories or. Nothing as entertaining as what we just heard. That's probably true.

[Brett Vesley]

We. Austin Butler was preparing for his new movie role by looking at baseball players butts.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He had to do some squats to get. Baseball players have asses.

[Brett Vesley]

He's in a movie called Caught Stealing plays a former baseball player.

[John Holmberg]

I actually saw a preview for that. It looks pretty good.

[Brett Vesley]

He's like, yo. You know, he showed him pictures of baseball players. They have thick butts.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody train. You got to do some squats. Baseball players have big thick asses. Ron say. Ron say was a big fan. Yeah. There's that dude that plays first base for the Indians. The other night I was at the game guardians and I was at the game and he had a home run. He's 661-1-92. He's rounding first. Ass was huge. Huge. But he was tiny, skinny dude.

[Brett Vesley]

Kirby Puckett.

[John Holmberg]

No, Kirby was just a blob, but he would. Yeah, there's that. All these all you look at him, their asses and baseball Players are thick, sexy.

[Brett Vesley]

You see, President Trump doesn't. It's not sure if he's getting into heaven.

[John Holmberg]

He's not. If there is one, he's not.

[Brett Vesley]

He suggested yesterday that he's. He's not doing well when it comes to his chances getting into heaven. But he thinks it'll help if he can broker a peace deal between Russia.

[John Holmberg]

And Ukraine that might bang out a couple of the prostitutes that pissed on him. And Jesus might. Jesus might be like, you know what? We'll forgive that because you brought peace to the Ukraine.

[Brett Vesley]

On Fox and Friends yesterday. Said, I want to try to get to heaven if possible.

[John Holmberg]

Got a lot of work to do.

[Brett Vesley]

I'm hearing I'm not doing well. I'm really at the bottom of the totem pole.

[John Holmberg]

I got a lot of work to do. You know, a lot of people just have to say a couple Hail Marys. I have to achieve world peace to make good for the things I done wrong. A lot. A lot of infidelity, Brett. And an awful lot of urine. Also, I've killed a few people, and I made people sell their homes before I took the Peace Corps away from them.

[Brett Vesley]

Trump will let him in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Just a lot of questions. It's 10:14. That's it. We're done. McFeely is coming up next. You guys have yourselves a grand Wednesday, and we'll see you tomorrow in the morning. Sickness. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.