Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – August 21, 2025: “Perfect Salary, Saturn Storms, and Unwatchable Eating Videos”

Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, hosted by John Holmberg along with Brady Bogen and Brett Vesely (filling in for Dick Toledo), delivers their signature blend of comedy, commentary, and irreverence. Highlights include a discussion on the latest salary survey and why Americans’ salary expectations seem so low, unusual scientific trivia, the ongoing Operation Hydration charity drive, and a review of bizarre and disturbing viral videos, notably triggering John's aversion to watching Asians eat odd foods.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Shane Gillis Tickets and Ridiculous Fees

• Shane Gillis pre-sale tickets are available at 10:00am with a special code (“LIVE”), but John laments the “kick in the balls” from extreme service fees.
• Quote:

  “Wear a cup when you hit buy because you’re getting kicked in the nuts… One ticket, it was like $85 just for the fees. I didn’t even see what the final number was.”
  — John Holmberg (03:16)

• Tone: Laughably frustrated, warning listeners about the costs.

2. Operation Hydration and Team Shuffling

• Brett is covering for Toledo due to a family situation, so Braden and a new guy are out at Dysart & Indian School collecting water for charity.
• “Drop it off and make Toledo’s situation better. That’s what she would’ve wanted.”
  — John Holmberg (04:53)
• Listeners are encouraged to greet and support the stand-ins, even if they aren't well-known.

3. Fun Facts & Science Nuggets (The “Brady Report”: 07:03–08:23)

• Saturn's Enormous Spinning Hexagon:
  • It's about twice the size of Earth and 50 times bigger than a hurricane.
  • “One scientist refers to it as the belly button of Saturn.”
    — Brady (07:19)
• Shortest English Word with All Vowels:
  • “Eunoia” means beautiful thinking.
• Ladybugs vs. Ladybirds vs. Ladyboys:
  • In England, ladybugs are called ladybirds. Vesely jokes, “In Thailand, they’re lady boys.” (08:02)
• Average Cloud Weight:
  • The “average” cloud can weigh 1.1 million pounds, leading to skepticism from John and Brett.

  “One of those fluffy clouds is a million pounds? No way.”
  — John Holmberg (08:23)

4. Salary Survey: What is “Perfect”? (08:56–10:46)

• Survey says Americans think the “perfect salary” is $74,000—a figure the crew finds oddly low.
• John critiques the “worker bee brain” limiting people:

  “Why are you limiting yourself? One of these days I’m going to make an inordinate amount of money you can’t even imagine is the answer. Dream big.”
  — John Holmberg (10:33)

• 19% say they need at least $100k.

5. America’s Obesity Problem—Including Pets (10:46–14:41)

• 60% of US dogs and cats are overweight; vet bills are on the rise.
• John and Brett blame overfeeding and sedentary lifestyles:

  “Fat lazy people don’t walk their dogs, so their dogs get fat and lazy, too.”
  — John Holmberg (11:03)

• Brief comparison to animal eating habits (snakes/rabbits) vs. human meal frequency.

6. Pumpkin Spice Mania & Seasonal Creep (16:58–18:43)

• Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice Latte is back (Aug 26 this year)—four days later than last year.
• West Virginia is the #1 pumpkin spice-loving state; Hawaii the least.
• General dismay at early Halloween/pumpkin spice product rollouts in Arizona’s heat.
• “The last thing I want is the flavor of fall in my gut ever. Let alone in 111 degrees.”
  — John Holmberg (18:19)

7. Regional News & American Geography Rants (19:21–22:56)

• Indiana school district cancels class after 20 bus catalytic converters are stolen.
• John bemoans the “failure” of several midwestern states and shares a wild story about a meth-fueled zombie lifting an air conditioner.

8. Viral/Disturbing Videos Segment (23:08–32:57)

• Gender Reveal Gone Wrong (23:17): Fire and chaos as a pink smoke bomb accidently ignites a mother.
• Miss Italy Crowning (24:23): Presented for Brett, not much action, but a celebratory, slightly crude appreciation of Italian pageants’ “hot outfits.”
• Bizarre/Eating Videos:
  • Indian man eats egg mixed with animal feces (25:48): Disgust all around.
  • “Asian Lady with Frog” (27:24): John’s noted disgust at watching “Asians eat odd foods,” as a woman prepares and devours stuffed frogs.

    “When they eat, I get sick. It’s what they eat and how much they enjoy it.”
    — John Holmberg (29:06)

  • Naked Cake-Eating Lesbians (29:17): Noted without condemnation, humorous banter on body positivity.
  • Human Centipede Pool Party (30:13): Nine attractive women in a sexual formation; John celebrates the “genius” who came up with the idea.
  • Girls playing pool, throwing balls at a naked guy (31:08): More incredulous laughter.
  • Woman “upgrading” herself with computer parts (31:43): Since the content gets increasingly bizarre, there's shock and comedic confusion as the woman inserts circuit boards into herself.

    “Was she putting those in there ‘cause she thought she’d be better at math?... so I built myself into robot.”
    — John Holmberg (32:47)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Service Fees:
  “Wear a cup when you hit buy because you’re getting kicked in the nuts.” — John (03:30)
• Perfect Salary Dream:
  “One of these days I’m going to make an inordinate amount of money you can’t even imagine is the answer. Dream big.” — John (10:33)
• On Pet Obesity:
  “Fat lazy people don’t walk their dogs, so their dogs get fat and lazy and they throw burger chunks at them.” — John (11:03)
• The Pumpkin Spice Outrage:
  “The last thing I want is the flavor of fall in my gut ever. Let alone in 111 degrees.” — John (18:19)
• Watching Asians Eat:
  “Oh my God. When they eat, I get sick. It's what they eat and how much they enjoy it.” — John (29:06)
• Celebrating “Human Centipede” Pool Party:
  “That made me proud to be a human. Who’s the genius that put that together?” — John (30:55)
• On Trying to Build a Computer vs. Viral Video:
  “I tried to build a computer once and there were several times I put that in the wrong slot. But not that bad.” — John (32:59)

Important Timestamps

| Time | Segment/Topic | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------| | 03:16 | Shane Gillis ticket discussion & complaints about fees | | 04:53 | Operation Hydration—Braden and the new guy | | 07:03–08:23 | Brady’s fun science facts | | 08:56–10:46 | Salary survey & money mindset discussion | | 10:46–14:41| Obesity in pets and human feeding habits | | 16:58 | Pumpkin spice season & states most obsessed with it | | 19:21 | Pickle order statistics, school bus catalytic converter theft | | 23:08–32:57| Viral/disturbing video segment |

Episode Tone

The episode crackles with the HMS team’s familiar blend of brash humor, local Arizona flavor, gross-out gags, and social commentary. John’s quick wit and Brett’s rejoinders keep the show moving, with Brady often providing strange facts or the straight man’s reactions.

For New Listeners

Even if you missed the episode, this summary brings you directly into the morning zoo chaos—touching on relatable workplace gripes, the strangeness of American obsessions (salary, pumpkin spice), and the collective horror and laughter generated by the internet’s weirdest video clips. If you want camaraderie, comedy, and the sense that nothing’s off-limits, this is your show.