08-21-25 - BR - THU - Survey Asks What Is Perfect Salary - SciNews On Saturn Storms And More - John Can't Watch Asians Eating Odd Foods In Bret's Video

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – August 21, 2025: “Perfect Salary, Saturn Storms, and Unwatchable Eating Videos”

Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, hosted by John Holmberg along with Brady Bogen and Brett Vesely (filling in for Dick Toledo), delivers their signature blend of comedy, commentary, and irreverence. Highlights include a discussion on the latest salary survey and why Americans’ salary expectations seem so low, unusual scientific trivia, the ongoing Operation Hydration charity drive, and a review of bizarre and disturbing viral videos, notably triggering John's aversion to watching Asians eat odd foods.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Shane Gillis Tickets and Ridiculous Fees

• Shane Gillis pre-sale tickets are available at 10:00am with a special code (“LIVE”), but John laments the “kick in the balls” from extreme service fees.
• Quote:

  “Wear a cup when you hit buy because you’re getting kicked in the nuts… One ticket, it was like $85 just for the fees. I didn’t even see what the final number was.”
  — John Holmberg (03:16)

• Tone: Laughably frustrated, warning listeners about the costs.

2. Operation Hydration and Team Shuffling

• Brett is covering for Toledo due to a family situation, so Braden and a new guy are out at Dysart & Indian School collecting water for charity.
• “Drop it off and make Toledo’s situation better. That’s what she would’ve wanted.”
  — John Holmberg (04:53)
• Listeners are encouraged to greet and support the stand-ins, even if they aren't well-known.

3. Fun Facts & Science Nuggets (The “Brady Report”: 07:03–08:23)

• Saturn's Enormous Spinning Hexagon:
  • It's about twice the size of Earth and 50 times bigger than a hurricane.
  • “One scientist refers to it as the belly button of Saturn.”
    — Brady (07:19)
• Shortest English Word with All Vowels:
  • “Eunoia” means beautiful thinking.
• Ladybugs vs. Ladybirds vs. Ladyboys:
  • In England, ladybugs are called ladybirds. Vesely jokes, “In Thailand, they’re lady boys.” (08:02)
• Average Cloud Weight:
  • The “average” cloud can weigh 1.1 million pounds, leading to skepticism from John and Brett.

  “One of those fluffy clouds is a million pounds? No way.”
  — John Holmberg (08:23)

4. Salary Survey: What is “Perfect”? (08:56–10:46)

• Survey says Americans think the “perfect salary” is $74,000—a figure the crew finds oddly low.
• John critiques the “worker bee brain” limiting people:

  “Why are you limiting yourself? One of these days I’m going to make an inordinate amount of money you can’t even imagine is the answer. Dream big.”
  — John Holmberg (10:33)

• 19% say they need at least $100k.

5. America’s Obesity Problem—Including Pets (10:46–14:41)

• 60% of US dogs and cats are overweight; vet bills are on the rise.
• John and Brett blame overfeeding and sedentary lifestyles:

  “Fat lazy people don’t walk their dogs, so their dogs get fat and lazy, too.”
  — John Holmberg (11:03)

• Brief comparison to animal eating habits (snakes/rabbits) vs. human meal frequency.

6. Pumpkin Spice Mania & Seasonal Creep (16:58–18:43)

• Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice Latte is back (Aug 26 this year)—four days later than last year.
• West Virginia is the #1 pumpkin spice-loving state; Hawaii the least.
• General dismay at early Halloween/pumpkin spice product rollouts in Arizona’s heat.
• “The last thing I want is the flavor of fall in my gut ever. Let alone in 111 degrees.”
  — John Holmberg (18:19)

7. Regional News & American Geography Rants (19:21–22:56)

• Indiana school district cancels class after 20 bus catalytic converters are stolen.
• John bemoans the “failure” of several midwestern states and shares a wild story about a meth-fueled zombie lifting an air conditioner.

8. Viral/Disturbing Videos Segment (23:08–32:57)

• Gender Reveal Gone Wrong (23:17): Fire and chaos as a pink smoke bomb accidently ignites a mother.
• Miss Italy Crowning (24:23): Presented for Brett, not much action, but a celebratory, slightly crude appreciation of Italian pageants’ “hot outfits.”
• Bizarre/Eating Videos:
  • Indian man eats egg mixed with animal feces (25:48): Disgust all around.
  • “Asian Lady with Frog” (27:24): John’s noted disgust at watching “Asians eat odd foods,” as a woman prepares and devours stuffed frogs.

    “When they eat, I get sick. It’s what they eat and how much they enjoy it.”
    — John Holmberg (29:06)

  • Naked Cake-Eating Lesbians (29:17): Noted without condemnation, humorous banter on body positivity.
  • Human Centipede Pool Party (30:13): Nine attractive women in a sexual formation; John celebrates the “genius” who came up with the idea.
  • Girls playing pool, throwing balls at a naked guy (31:08): More incredulous laughter.
  • Woman “upgrading” herself with computer parts (31:43): Since the content gets increasingly bizarre, there's shock and comedic confusion as the woman inserts circuit boards into herself.

    “Was she putting those in there ‘cause she thought she’d be better at math?... so I built myself into robot.”
    — John Holmberg (32:47)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Service Fees:
  “Wear a cup when you hit buy because you’re getting kicked in the nuts.” — John (03:30)
• Perfect Salary Dream:
  “One of these days I’m going to make an inordinate amount of money you can’t even imagine is the answer. Dream big.” — John (10:33)
• On Pet Obesity:
  “Fat lazy people don’t walk their dogs, so their dogs get fat and lazy and they throw burger chunks at them.” — John (11:03)
• The Pumpkin Spice Outrage:
  “The last thing I want is the flavor of fall in my gut ever. Let alone in 111 degrees.” — John (18:19)
• Watching Asians Eat:
  “Oh my God. When they eat, I get sick. It's what they eat and how much they enjoy it.” — John (29:06)
• Celebrating “Human Centipede” Pool Party:
  “That made me proud to be a human. Who’s the genius that put that together?” — John (30:55)
• On Trying to Build a Computer vs. Viral Video:
  “I tried to build a computer once and there were several times I put that in the wrong slot. But not that bad.” — John (32:59)

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Important Timestamps

| Time | Segment/Topic | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------| | 03:16 | Shane Gillis ticket discussion & complaints about fees | | 04:53 | Operation Hydration—Braden and the new guy | | 07:03–08:23 | Brady’s fun science facts | | 08:56–10:46 | Salary survey & money mindset discussion | | 10:46–14:41| Obesity in pets and human feeding habits | | 16:58 | Pumpkin spice season & states most obsessed with it | | 19:21 | Pickle order statistics, school bus catalytic converter theft | | 23:08–32:57| Viral/disturbing video segment |

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Episode Tone

The episode crackles with the HMS team’s familiar blend of brash humor, local Arizona flavor, gross-out gags, and social commentary. John’s quick wit and Brett’s rejoinders keep the show moving, with Brady often providing strange facts or the straight man’s reactions.

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For New Listeners

Even if you missed the episode, this summary brings you directly into the morning zoo chaos—touching on relatable workplace gripes, the strangeness of American obsessions (salary, pumpkin spice), and the collective horror and laughter generated by the internet’s weirdest video clips. If you want camaraderie, comedy, and the sense that nothing’s off-limits, this is your show.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the core. He's not going to be back on the court immediately, but in a few months time he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain you've been living with the Core Institute celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're. You're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do again. Go to the core institute dot com.

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

No problem.

[Brett Vesely]

Score 1500 dollars off right now. Hot and stuck. Well, they offer emergency same day service. And before you comm free second opinion with no pressure, go to Patrick Riley services dot com. That's Patrick Riley services dot com. Patrick Riley. One call does it all.

[John Holmberg]

Morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. All right. Don't. Shut up. Quit it. That kid's killing Brett. Knock it off. Must be a bus stop up there. Yes, I'm not so. I'm just saying some guy runs by our window every morning dribbling a basketball and it's like the world comes to an end. It's very funny to watch. I feel like I'm watching the. Remember the 1970s Sesame street where that kid would run to the store.

[Brady]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Dribbled the basketball, stick of butter and he had the, the grocery list he had to get for his mom. Milk sticker butter and he ran the whole way with the basketball. It's great. Anyway, that goes on. I was talking to Matt at the standup live. Here's the thing. Kind of a confusing text. Misread. The Presale starts at 10. We can use it until 9am tomorrow. The way it read it was you can use it till nine this morning. The pre sale today for Shane Gillis just for you guys starts today at 10 o' clock and you can go to Shane Gillis.com but don't do it till 10. I misread that. I misinterpreted the whole thing. We just went back and forth. So it's, it goes live at 10 this morning and the code word to see Shane is live. And you guys can get tickets to Shane Gillis's show before they go on sale tomorrow at 10am so we've got 23 hours to use the code. Tell your friends, tell everybody. Get the good seats. There are fees involved in this. That's not on Shane. That is. I just looked the service fees and the extra fees on this show just to let you know, wear a cup when you hit buy because you're getting kicked in the nuts. I these fees are getting ridiculous. But it's a one time only special event. They're taking their cut. I'm telling you that it is a kick in the balls. The one tickets, it was like $85 for a ticket per ticket. That's just the fees. I didn't even see what the final number was. I'm like damn, they're knocking you around so just be prepared. I, I picked some good seats to take a look to see what it would cost. It's. It's up there but it starts at 10 o' clock so you can start hopping on that deal and hopefully you could sell a Ford Tempo and get one ticket probably.

[Brady]

I'm guessing no way.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, our funniest listener Scott Haynes has nicknamed Brady the Wolf of wall to wall Carpeting. They used to go crazy at the parties at the carpet store snorting cool Cheeto dust off cardboard cutouts of Clara Wolf of wall to wall carpeting. Needs to be a movie with Brady and the Tempos. That's great. Anyway, so The Gillis tickets are going on sale. We'll keep you moving around on that. By the way, Brett's here with us today because of Toledo situation. So he's helping out with all the computer work that Toledo normally does. He's doing a job of two people, which means he can't be out in the van this morning. But that doesn't mean it's not out there and we're collecting. We have hit our mark, I'll tell you that. They're going to do a big celebration next week at the Phoenix Rescue Mission and do a big media blast of how many bottles were actually raised. Operation Hydration goes on this and next week. Brett's not out there, but who's out there again?

[Comedy Announcer]

Braden.

[John Holmberg]

Braden and new fella are out there this morning. Dysart and Indian school. Head on out there. And in honor of Toledo's family situation. You know what? This would be a nice thing to do. Just a little. This is. This is what. This is what she would have wanted. I'll say that. Drop it off and make Toledo's Toledo. Toledo's situation better. I think it's just a nice little way to say thank you to the whole operation and summer and everything else. So any excuse you've got to make it a good deal that you can help us out, you'd be helping us a lot today because there's a lot going on in this building, that is for sure. Braden's got mud vein and a day to remember. You can go out there, say hi to him, drop off your envelopes. Braden will do the shopping just like Brett normally does. If he was out there this morning. That is Operation Hydration Dysart, an Indian school at Albertson. So thank you for heading out there and helping us out. Even though you don't know who Braden and the new guy are, they still. They're still a part of the team. And we need to go say hi to them and be nice. It is time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and is brought to you by our friends at AllPro Shade. Allproshade.com get some shade in that backyard or front yard or sidey yard, wherever you need it. A lot of people have those shades now on the side for like an RV and stuff like that. You can do that, too.

[Brady]

Yeah, the canopies.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, little canopies. It's a nice thing. They'll take care of you. If you've got an idea, they'll come out and give You a free estimate and take a look at your idea and then maybe even make it better. Or just say, hey, brilliant plan. You get a job. Next thing you know, you're doing plans for them as well. Who knows what can happen? But I do know you'll have shade and that temperature is going to drop at least 10 degrees and probably up to 20 blocks out all those UV rays. Get it professionally done by the people doing it for over 20 years. All prochay.com Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Thursday morning to Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Hello, world. Hi.

[Brady]

Happy National Senior Citizen Day and National Hazy IPA Day.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, I like that.

[John Holmberg]

I do, too. I don't care so much for the senior citizen thing, but no, go have.

[Brady]

A pint with an old person.

[John Holmberg]

No, just hear about how. And then you got to hear racist stuff all day. It's like going out with Brett. I don't want to do it. Get a couple IPAs and Brett, and the next thing you know, we're laughing at diseases that have funny names and dinosaurs that shouldn't be called that.

[Brady]

A couple of basic fun facts on Saturn. There's an enormous spinning hexagon in the clouds at its north pole, which is about twice the size of Earth. It's a continuous vortex, similar to a hurricane that's about 50 times larger than a typical Earth hurricane. One scientist refers to it as the belly button of Saturn.

[John Holmberg]

But isn't Saturn's, like, monstrously big? Yeah, so it would make sense that they have bigger storms.

[Brady]

The shortest English word with all five vowels is yonoya, which is six letters long. It means beautiful thinking or positive mental state.

[John Holmberg]

O, E, I and an A.

[Brady]

It's E, U, N, O, I, A.

[John Holmberg]

Got them all. How about that?

[Brady]

Ladybugs are called ladybirds in England.

[John Holmberg]

That's dumb.

[Brett Vesely]

In Thailand, they're lady boys.

[John Holmberg]

Nice job, bro. Ladybirds and lady boys.

[Brady]

The average cloud weighs 1.1 million pounds, but the weight is distributed across such a big, big space, it still floats.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute. One of those fluffy clouds is a million pounds? You're talking about those big storm clouds, not these cumulus, wispy things? No way. Wouldn't planes match the average?

[Brett Vesely]

All right, how does a plane go through them?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know they're distributed over space, but that means they're not a million pounds.

[Brady]

Unless you're the amount of, you know, water accumulated in that.

[John Holmberg]

For sure. That's a. That's a storm cloud. Yeah, not a wispy cumulus. Those fluffy, beautiful clouds probably weigh much as a feather. For crying out loud. There's no there's moisture.

[Brady]

But according to a report, the average American says the perfect salary is billion dollars. I'll give you three A, 55,000. B 74,000. C 215,000.

[John Holmberg]

The average American says the perfect salary amount and they're going to shoot low 74,000. That's stupid. That's. They confuse the question, what's the average salary versus the perfect salary? Perfect salary. There isn't one.

[Brett Vesely]

It's unlimited.

[John Holmberg]

Unlimited. That number never stops. That's my perfect salary.

[Brady]

It's unclear why the perfect amount isn't higher, especially with low expensive everything. Right now it's possible they're just asking for the sweet spot where they'd be able to make ends meet.

[John Holmberg]

They, they got confused at the question and thought, what's, what would be a. What's a good salary that gets you by. And everybody's, I don't know, like 75.

[Brady]

19% of people said they need to make at least 100k. And about half of them employed Americans say they should be making more to support their lifestyle.

[John Holmberg]

That's worker be brain to me.

[Brett Vesely]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

That's worker bees that'll sit and go, I need at least this amount. And they limit themselves. And they're thinking, look, if a jackass like me can do okay, everybody can. It's just a matter of your brain stopping you thinking, I only make this amount. And you can be satisfied with the amount you make. But don't low ball. We had a guy who worked here told me one time, he goes, one of these days I'm going to be making 100k. I'm like, why shoot so low? What do you mean? I'm like, yeah, that's a good amount. But why are you limiting yourself? One of these days I'm going to make an inordinate amount of money. You can't even imagine is the answer to all of that. Dream big.

[Brady]

America's obesity crisis extends beyond humans.

[John Holmberg]

I know what you're going to say.

[Brady]

I saw this study suggest around 60% of dogs and cats nationwide are overweight.

[John Holmberg]

They look like they're owners.

[Brady]

So we're about two or three years away from puppy and kitty.

[John Holmberg]

Ozempic dog zempic. Yeah, because fat lazy people don't walk their dogs. So their dogs get fat and lazy and they throw burger chunks at them and everything that falls off their big fat chests and tummies rolls to the ground. Their dogs eat it.

[Brady]

But they're also saying, you know, vet bills have gone through the roof because, because of you, though.

[John Holmberg]

Not you, but you Know what I mean?

[Brett Vesely]

Well, you're feeding them Cheetos and Doritos and everything.

[John Holmberg]

When your dog is fat, overweight and needs veterinary care because of it, it isn't because the vet bills are so high is why that's bad. Dogs want to run. Dogs want to play. If you don't do it, they love to lay down, too.

[Comedy Announcer]

All right, HMS Podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Well, just in case you haven't been paying attention or if you've been mia, we'll let you know that Frank Caliendo is going to be performing at the Desert Ridge Improv this Friday and Saturday night. So tune in. Frank's going to be in with the guys all week long and just maybe we'll have tickets for you to go catch Frank live up north at Desert Ridge for the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com hey, you want to win? $979? Well, check this out. HandleThe Heat is back with another chance to win and another chance to check out a Holmberg special on the menu at Native Grillin Wings. That's right, join the HMS crew at Native Grillin Wings during one of our 4U brews for a chance to participate in Handle the Heat. That's Holmberg's Hot Wing Eating contest. For details on all the contest rules, head to 98kupd.com Think you can handle the heat? Well, bring your appetite and find out. It's all brought to you by Native Grillin Wings.

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[John Holmberg]

And also you're in control of everything they eat. Limit that. Ever see how much you're supposed to feed a dog? Yeah, it's not, it's nothing like a half a cup in the morning and a half a cup at night and that's it. And if you work them, you give them treats during the day and stuff like that. People are handing over pizza slices and.

[Brady]

Burgers and it wasn't that long ago. I mean, you know, you think about when humans even said, let's have three meals a day, breakfast, lunch and dinner. Really, you know, like in. Mostly you think about like other animals, like a snake or reptile, they'll eat a rabbit or whatever. Nothing for two weeks.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's their digestive systems.

[Brady]

Completely different. To slow up a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's. If they get food, it's designed to last for a long time. We pass through a lot of it, but yeah, we don't need to eat as much as we do.

[Brett Vesely]

Remember when the claim jumper was there by the old station? They. Oh, Jesus.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't go there ever after the first time because I'm like, I'll never need this much food in my life. This. They overdid everything.

[Brett Vesely]

Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

They brought that salad out for me and I thought it was for the whole table. I'm like, oh. I even said it to the waitress. I wasn't kidding. I'm like, oh, this is for everybody. No, that's your starter. Yeah, like this is all I'm gonna need for the rest of the week.

[Brady]

Thomas Allen McCartney is 37 years old. He's classified as a Tier 3 offender and is considered to be one of Louisiana's worst child predators. McCartney has agreed to be both physically and chemically castrated.

[John Holmberg]

Cool.

[Brady]

As part of a plea deal in order to reduce his prison sentence. Although he'll still spend 40 years in prison because of his last bit of trying to. Well, sexual. Abusing a seven year old.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, just kill him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, just kill him.

[Brett Vesely]

You're done.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you're just gonna have a lunatic without any balls rubbing up against kids. Now that doesn't make it better. It's his brain that's the problem.

[Brady]

Yeah, but I don't know if that. If that drives. Gone from the castration.

[John Holmberg]

You should go Brady's grandpa on this. I was just gonna say scramble some brain. Lobotomize that. Yeah, his brain's the problem.

[Brady]

Well, don't you think? I mean, again, if that drives taken.

[John Holmberg]

Out, no damage starts in your brain. Your brain. Yeah. Yeah, it's your mentality to want to be with kids. When you castrate, you, you're not going to have as much of. But it's not about a sex drive to want to bang kids. It's about a power thing. It's about abuse. It has nothing to do with, golly, I'm horny.

[Brady]

I thought that goes away for some.

[John Holmberg]

Reason, but evidently you're confusing it with a sexual act, which it is not initially. You know, dealing with kids is a mental disorder. First and misplaced sexual thoughts, which wouldn't go away.

[Brady]

So he'd still have those thoughts. But you're like, hey, he's okay. He can't do anything.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You basically cut the arms off of a guy who used to punch a lot.

[Brady]

He's like the bumble.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he'll figure something out. Yeah. You know what he can still do Diddle kids. He just can't use his balls and wiener to do it anymore.

[Brady]

The pumpkin spice latte hits Starbucks next Tuesday, August 26th.

[John Holmberg]

Like women diddle kids too, you know, Nothing to cut off. It's mental.

[Brady]

That rolls out next Tuesday. That's four days later than last year. The 22nd was the earliest they'd ever brought it back. New report from Instacart found that pumpkin spice season really is getting earlier and earlier. They looked at sales of pumpkin spice products over the past four years and no one buys them from February through July. But then the sales skyrocket. The peak of pumpkin spice season is usually late September.

[Brett Vesely]

That's every year.

[Brady]

I mean, every now it's creeping to mid month.

[John Holmberg]

It's ridiculous.

[Brett Vesely]

Like there's Halloween stuff already out, like the beginning of August. It's at Home Depot.

[John Holmberg]

My Jesus, it's. We're three months.

[Brady]

Halloween was like three weeks ago.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They start getting that stuff together for lunacy and it's just a spending spree.

[Brady]

West Virginia is, is more obsessed with pumpkin spice products than any other state.

[John Holmberg]

Because they hear the word spice. They think it's a synthetic weed.

[Brady]

Yeah. Pennsylvania is distant second, then Oklahoma, Ohio and Delaware. Folks in Hawaii are the least likely to think pumpkin spice.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because they're.

[Brady]

It's gross.

[John Holmberg]

Coconut. It is gross. Yeah, they like coconut stuff. I don't know how people drink it here now because it's hot. And the last thing I want is the flavor of fall in my gut ever. Let alone in 111 year degrees.

[Brady]

Maybe they hope it just takes you.

[John Holmberg]

To the fall weather where you're also an idiot. It does not take you away. It's still 111.

[Brett Vesely]

We were at Four Peaks a couple weeks ago, and they already had the pumpkin spice. I mean, they.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they just keep the beers flowing. Whatever. They've got 400 of them, so they just fill the tanks.

[Brady]

But still, Instacart released another. Some more data on pickle orders across the country. And the states that have the highest rate of pickle orders. The Dakotas, north and South Dakota. People just love pickles. Generally, though, the pickles seem to be the most popular in the middle of the country.

[John Holmberg]

This is a story straight from a guy who owns a Ford Tempo. Does this have a better ending than what you just said? Because I'm gonna hit you with. I'm hit you with a Tempo if this story is all you've got.

[Brady]

There's only one person out of a million that knows that pickles come from cucumbers.

[John Holmberg]

That was Dale Hell Astray Brady with your pickle news. And who likes them? Could have deleted that one, I think.

[Brett Vesely]

Riveting.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's a dude who. Who walked onto the lot and said, show me the brand new Tempos.

[Brady]

There's a school district in Indiana that was forced to cancel school on Tuesday, just the fifth day of the school year, because there are no school buses. The catalytic converters from around 20 buses.

[John Holmberg]

Were stolen overnight in southern Indiana.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

The Scott County.

[Brady]

It doesn't say that.

[John Holmberg]

Does it have the city?

[Brady]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

The lower end of Indiana. And all of Indiana's back. The lower southern end of Indiana is like running away with the statistics on meth heads and weirdos.

[Brady]

Jackpot there. 20.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

The districts say if the police didn't say if the police had any leads. No word if there's arrests yet.

[John Holmberg]

I tell you why. Everyone in the city's a suspect. And the police are probably all unmet. The cops might have done it. Southern Indiana, Cincinnati, Ohio area. And that Kentucky, that region down there. Burn it down. It's done. And start with the Bengals in two weeks because yuck to them and their horrible outfits. Then you can just burn all of Cincinnati down, save the KRP building.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That was an episode of that. And then. Yeah, and then get rid of my home state, too, and just burn it all the way. Just burn everything around Indianapolis up to Oprah's house up in northwestern Indiana. Just torch it. Start over. Indiana's a failure. Sorry, Brady. Most of Ohio, failure. West Virginia, failure. Mississippi, failure. We can start over. Why can't we just admit it and start over? It's time we got rid of Indiana. I think that's a good. There's a couple of pockets, but down there in that county by Kentucky. Kentucky is bled in Indiana. And it's Gary. Gary is awful as well. Got to be careful.

[Brett Vesely]

And Gary save the Jackson house. That's about it.

[John Holmberg]

Got to save the Jacksons. And I believe Diana Ross did some stuff up there to keep that. But we can do like we did Dodger Stadium and just forklift it to a better place. Yeah, Indiana is awful. Cincinnati and Kentucky bled into my home state. And Indiana's like they were right and they just turned into extreme meth heads. The whole I told you that story. That guy used to know, moved to that area is right on that. Lexington, Cincinnati and Indiana, kind of Covington, wherever that area is. But he was putting together a barn. He bought the house, his dad's house, and he had a mobile air conditioner. He said it was like £380. And he's outside and he's working. He said. This guy starts walking towards him. He was an Olympic. Was it karate? He did Olympic karate. Broke his ankle right before the trials in Colorado. So he was on the Olympic team and he never got to compete. So he knows his stuff. And this dude comes walking up to him. He's like, we got trouble walking at me. He said, zombie picks the air conditioner up £380. Gets it over his head like he's going to throw it at him. And he's like, I've never seen anything like it. He goes, I can fight. He goes. My first reaction was get the F out of here. This dude feels Nothing. Picked up a 380 pound AC thing and lifted it over his head and started to wobble. Like I'm going to chuck it at the. His name was Scott. He called me immediately and he's like, I don't know.

[Brady]

And then he said the guy's eyes were just.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. He said his horse, he was Zombie. Nobody was home. Didn't know what he was throwing it at. Didn't know if I was there at all. Didn't matter. Crazy.

[Brady]

I got a couple of radio videos.

[Brett Vesely]

Two, right?

[Brady]

Yeah, just two.

[John Holmberg]

They're coming off of your thing. Yeah.

[Brady]

First one's agenda reveal gone wrong.

[John Holmberg]

Nice small fire smoke bombs. It's purple. Oh boy. One of the dudes has lost control. That's pink. Okay. I guess you're right. Oh my God. It's inflammable. He just let the mother on fire. Oh my God. Oh my God. And they made it like a Michael Bay movie. He's spinning around with the stuff that's releasing the pink spray and he hits the mom in the face with it.

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[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Brady]

The last one is just for Brett.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. It's.

[Brady]

It's. Missed it. Miss Italy.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady]

Recently crowned.

[John Holmberg]

Man, it got very impressive there. Miss Italy. The winner and the runner up are both incredibly. Lifted her arm up really quickly. Wow. Now she's gonna walk down the catwalk and give us a championship Miss Italy walk in lingerie, this is. And she's got a swimsuit cover on, I guess. She's stunning. Curved in all the right places. A little thicker as she gets closer than I'd like. Still looks pretty good.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And off she goes. Come on. He'll bust that ankle. What am I waiting for here?

[Brady]

Nothing.

[John Holmberg]

She kisses. Oh, okay.

[Brett Vesely]

Beautiful thing.

[John Holmberg]

It's a success video. Yeah. She kissed the runner up.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Who later murdered her.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Miss Italy.

[Brett Vesely]

Nice.

[John Holmberg]

Little thick.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But not in a gross way.

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Very nice. And she's gonna. That's how they do their pageants in it. I guess I've some hot outfits.

[Brett Vesely]

We need to learn something from them.

[John Holmberg]

Our chicks are in 1930s evening gowns. Look like they're all going to a quinceanera. When do we have the crowning in that outfit? Crowning right now.

[Brett Vesely]

Now these were kind of. They just sent them over because I'm usually not here on Thursday. So. These were emergency pickups.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. So these are from the bin.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They're gonna be great.

[Brett Vesely]

So we'll start with this one.

[John Holmberg]

There's a guy from India and he's leaning over.

[Brady]

Boiled eggs.

[John Holmberg]

No. He's putting a raw egg in a pile of feces of an animal. And it looks like he's mixing up the egg in the feces and he's eating it. Oh, my God. It's like cow or horse poop. Yeah. And he's put a rod. Is there sound on this? Because he's doing that little Indian head bobble. I can. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That is fresh. Brady. That is wildly right. No, no, that was you saying double dievil, double deeble. That was the race. I'm not gonna stop laughing at that as. Brady described his head as double dble. Double dble.

[Brett Vesely]

They sent this one.

[John Holmberg]

That's what their heads do.

[Brett Vesely]

They sent this one over for Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God. Something's wrong with this lady. She's Chernobyl. Her face is Chernobyl, but her body is a 10.

[Brady]

That's Ms. Chernobyl.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She looks like the thing that came out of the tummy in Alien, except for she's got Heidi Klum's cans. Oh, my God. Chaka Picani and Heidi Klum had a baby.

[Brett Vesely]

Look at that five head that is.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even know what that is. Oh, when she turns to the side, she looks like the logo for Indian motorcycles. She's got that weird hair just sticking all the way out.

[Brady]

She's Eddie from R. She's got a.

[John Holmberg]

Little of that, but her body is outstanding.

[Brett Vesely]

This one may go too far.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Okay, this is. What are we doing?

[Brady]

A yolk in the.

[John Holmberg]

It's an Asian lady poured a raw egg in a frog's belly. Get the frog in a thing of, like, some sort of Asian leaf. And now she's mixing beets and rice with her hands because that's why you don't eat. And then she takes another frog, picks that up, smiles at it, stuffs a bottle in it, and starts to feed it rice and beets. And evidently, it's gonna blow the. I bet you this blows the frog up.

[Brady]

Nope, it's a dead dog.

[John Holmberg]

What's it doing? Oh, it is? Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah, it is. Are you sure?

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Why do you. Oh, she's gonna cook it.

[Brady]

Cooking them.

[John Holmberg]

She's. She's filling them with beets and rice. In their tummies, maybe. Okay. Jesus, Brett, what is gonna happen in this thing? No sound on this one.

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, for crying out loud. Now she's rolling a leaf to go. Yeah, yeah. She's leaf. She's putting a leaf. Now she's got him in a hot walk. Opens it up. The frogs are inside these little banana leaves. She likes the smell. The frog is out now, filled with beets and rice. And now the frogs are on a platter because they've been cooked whole. This is going too far. So far. She's basting them.

[Comedy Announcer]

Some sort of.

[John Holmberg]

That's right, Brady. Calm down. This is not good. And she just starts eating it right out of the. Oh, she's just devouring it with her. Her face.

[Brady]

Kermit, it is.

[John Holmberg]

It's Asians eating. It's Asian eating.

[Brady]

He's getting lunch.

[John Holmberg]

You can't watch Asians. Last time this happened, it was an Asian woman eating fly paper. It's Asians eating that.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, I told you that one may be too far.

[Brady]

Look at the gut pile on that. John, go back. Let's see that again. Brett.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. When they eat, I get sick. It's what they eat and how much they enjoy it. Oh, my God.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, we'll.

[John Holmberg]

We'll. Like. I didn't expect that.

[Brett Vesely]

No, there. We'll lighten it up a little. Well, not really.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Two 600 pound women eating birthday cake naked.

[Brady]

Another one is a woman.

[John Holmberg]

I think this is Katie. KB Party is what it looks like to me. It's two lesbians enjoying cake. And cake says, who's the biggest pig? Well, the one on the right's the biggest pig. I mean, the one on the left is £400, the one on the right, 600. And they're covered in cake.

[Brady]

Is that troll going down the belly?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, that's the.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that's all it could be.

[Brady]

Like open heart.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's all it could be. It's. It's frosting that she's mixed with her spit and it's running down her chest. It looks like something else, but no, no man in their right mind would leave a batch of that.

[Brett Vesely]

One reason I showed.

[John Holmberg]

How come I can watch them. I know.

[Brady]

I almost got the.

[Brett Vesely]

Here's an entertaining one for you.

[John Holmberg]

Asian lady eating that frog through me. Oh, my God. It's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 beautiful women all on their hands and knees in a human centipede form, chowing down on the one in front of them. The only one not enjoying anyone else's genitals is the head. And the only one not getting enjoyed. They're not bad either. They're all beautiful. Oh, that's. That's something. That's heroic right there.

[Brett Vesely]

I had to make up for the frog one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. That's America, I hope, right?

[Brett Vesely]

If not, I'm going there.

[John Holmberg]

Wherever this country is, they're leading. What a wonderful thing this is.

[Brady]

That's a pool party.

[John Holmberg]

That is unbelievable. That. That made me proud to be a human. Who's the genius that put that together? Ladies, I got an idea. I drew it up here on the storyboard. Take a look.

[Brady]

The lady that ate the frog.

[John Holmberg]

No, don't.

[Brett Vesely]

No, this is for you. This is for your pool playing.

[John Holmberg]

Why you gotta ruin it, Brady? Oh, sex during pool. These ladies are all shooting pool. Oh, I didn't see what was on the pool Table. The guy just with his legs spread. He's taking them in the nuts. And she's just firing pool balls. They're just throwing pool balls at this naked guy whose legs are spread open. Well, these girls. This is not what's happening when I play pool at all. Although I will say similar results in that none of the balls are going in any holes. My God.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, then we'll end with this one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God. All right, here's the lady walking over to some sort of contraption. I believe she's Asian. Am I wrong?

[Brett Vesely]

This would be. I think this is Mike. Mike, our.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. She's whipping herself with the inside of a computer. I don't know what.

[Brett Vesely]

The ribbon. The ribbon that's in there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. A few moments later. All right, SpongeBob involved. Now she's digging more stuff out of the computer itself. Some sort of chips. Oh, she's putting computer chips and boards into her genitals. And it. This thing looks. Oh my God. Oh, she's pushing it in and out without her hands.

[Brady]

Now she's.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God. Oh, sweet Jesus. Oh. The music is oddly fitting. There's a sound card. Is this going on in Silicon Valley? Oh, it's gotta be slicing her up. This is like. You ever touch one of those things? They're all sharp on the corner. Yeah, we need her down. I'm tired of looking at Mike. Does he do that? Is that how you make those things work?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know.

[Brady]

The computer seems to be glitching.

[John Holmberg]

Was she putting those in there? Cuz she thought that she'd be better at math. When it was all over, she just had some more RAM and memory.

[Brett Vesely]

She couldn't figure out how to control delete.

[John Holmberg]

So I built myself into robot. Wow. I do not think that was where you plug. I tried to build a computer once and there were several times I put that in the wrong slot. But not that bad.

[Brady]

Oof.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you. All right, it's 8:23. We'll let you know again about Braden and the new guy out there at Dysart and Indian school. They're out there for Operation Hydration at Albertsons. We can need some more water out there. And get some mud vein tickets a day to remember. You can sign up for all that score yourself some KUPD stuff and drop off to push us over the 1 million bottle mark for the summer of 2025. Outstanding work. And the guys out there helping out. Hopefully unleashing on them and getting that. Filling that truck up as best as possible. Even though Brett couldn't be out there this morning. Brian Posayn's gonna be with us in just a little bit. We'll talk to him next. It's 98 KUPD. Hey. It's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.