08-21-25 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show

Episode: 08-21-25 – FULL SHOW – THURSDAY

Air Date: August 21, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely
Guest: Brian Posehn

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Episode Overview

This lively episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness blends irreverent humor, camaraderie, and quick-fire banter around everything from unusual medical conditions to nostalgia over first cars and candid stories from NFL days. The crew navigates through personal updates, pokes fun at Brady's automotive history, riffs on trending news, and welcomes comedian Brian Posehn for an engaging interview. Amid earnest shoutouts to ailing family, charitable drives, and local events, the show maintains its trademark tone: edgy, teasing, but always entertaining.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Toledo’s Sudden Absence & Behind-the-Scenes Camaraderie

[03:00–04:50]

• Toledo is out for a family emergency (his mother is ill). Holmberg peels back the curtain:
  “As much, you know, as we give Toledo... it's all in fun because we love him... Deep down inside, let's pull the curtain back... Toledo’s one of our guys.” — John Holmberg [03:00]
• Sets the mood for the episode, balancing goofball antics with genuine empathy.

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2. "Naggers Syndrome" Segment & Adult Humor

[04:50–15:00]

• An email prompts Brett to read about a rare genetic disorder, “Naggers Syndrome,” generating relentless gigging and immature wordplay:
  • Brett can’t get through the segment without laughing at the word’s unfortunate proximity to a racial slur, leading to meta-commentary on making innocent words taboo.
  • “You have ruined it. You've made me racist where there's no racism!” — John Holmberg [07:33]
• The crew teases Brett’s inability to handle “dangerous” words and riff on related charity names.
• Memorable moment: “If anyone in Brett's family ever got diagnosed… the doctor be like ‘I'm afraid he's got nagger's disease.’ This is not a funny moment, sir.” — John Holmberg [09:11]

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3. Car Price Inflation & First Cars: Comedic Nostalgia

[17:18–28:32]

• The group reminisces about how much cheaper cars and houses were “back in the day” — and relentlessly roast Brady’s vehicle choices.
• Notable exchanges:
  • “You purchased that [’87 Ford Tempo] with your own money without being dared or having lost a bet?” — Brett [30:54]
  • “With you and cars you had... you’ve been buying awful cars a lot... That is not a good first car to own.” — Brett [22:31]
• Stories about their youthful rides cascade into running jokes about “lesbian cars,” wagons, and missed romantic opportunities.

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4. Operation Hydration & Local Charities

[44:20–47:00]

• The KUPD "Operation Hydration" water bottle charity drive nears a major milestone:
  • "Of what we've collected... 91% has already been given out. That's 900,000 bottles of water..." — Brett [47:29]
  • Push for listeners to keep donating as summer persists.

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5. Phoenix News: Desert Sky Mall Train Theft

[50:51–56:00]

• Hysterical local news: someone stole the kiddie train from Desert Sky Mall and drove it through city streets.
• The crew speculates on the theft, the neighborhood, and the chances for “train rides at UFest.”
• “Give [the thief] a pat on the back and tell him hilarious and just let him go.” — Brett [54:23]

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6. Lunch Stories & Coin Shaving History

[57:00–63:33]

• Holmberg tells a story about a lunch party where a waitress describes coin-ridging as a technique to stop “coin shaving” by Jews, with table-side jokes and history lessons morphing into playful anti-Semitic riffs (in the room’s irreverent tone).
• “That’s why coins had ridges – to keep my people from shaving them!” — John Holmberg [58:32]

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7. Promotions: Shane Gillis Ticket Presale

[63:33–64:25]

• Secret presale code “LIVE” for the Dec. 5 Shane Gillis arena show is shared for KUPD listeners.
• Code works at ShaneGillis.com starting at 10am.

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8. "Brady Report" – Fun Facts & News Highlights

[94:36–103:19]

• Covers Saturn’s hexagon, the average cloud weight, and the perfect American salary ($74,000).
• U.S. pet obesity at 60%; chemical castration plea deals for sex offenders.
• Earliest-ever return for Starbucks pumpkin spice latte in August; West Virginia tops the pumpkin spice obsession.

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9. Brian Posehn Interview

[119:44–136:44]

• Standup comic and actor Brian Posehn chats about career highlights, playing unique roles (“the Mandalorian,” “Mr. Show”), being recognized in public (“Vegas, Disneyland—people want a selfie, but bro touches are the worst”).
• Hilarious anecdotes about meeting Dio and Vinnie Paul, being star-struck by DeNiro and Geddy Lee, skipping the last Ozzy show, and almost appearing on “Celebrity Wife Swap.”

Notable quote:
“Dio came to my house… he’s standing in my kitchen holding one of my glasses… looking through my records, ‘You should have more Dio.’” — Brian Posehn [130:41]

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10. NFL Reminiscence with Dale Hellestra

[139:20–176:30]

• Dale dishes on the new Netflix Cowboys documentary, recounts forgotten locker room stories, and explains his own trades and pension.
• The show lampoons the team’s 30-year championship drought and Jerry Jones’ perpetual reign.
• They review preseason football absurdities, the economics of NFL pensions, and the value of humor in the face of aging and medical adversity.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “We love Toledo… deep down inside.” — John Holmberg [03:00]
• “You've made me racist where there's no racism. Yes, you have done it.” — John Holmberg [07:33]
• On Shane Gillis tickets:
  “Just use the password LIVE… you can actually buy them now.” — Brett [63:41]
• Nostalgia riff:
  “You purchased that with your own money without being dared or having Turismo having lost a bet?” — Brett [30:54]
• About the mall train thief:
  “Give him a pat on the back and tell him hilarious and just let him go.” — Brett [54:23]
• Brian Posehn on Dio:
  “He’s out in my pool… looking through my records, ‘You should have more Dio.’” — Brian Posehn [130:41]
• Brady’s car choices:
  “No, you can’t. You had a Ford Tempo and you quit.” — Brett [73:09]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Toledo’s absence & show camaraderie: [03:00–04:50]
• Naggers Syndrome segment: [04:50–15:00]
• Car nostalgia & ribbing Brady: [17:18–38:00]
• Operation Hydration & charities: [44:20–47:00]
• Desert Sky Mall train theft: [50:51–56:00]
• Lunch stories & coin shaving: [57:00–63:33]
• Shane Gillis presale info: [63:33–65:11]
• Brian Posehn interview: [119:44–136:44]
• Cowboys documentary/NFL nostalgia: [139:20–148:08]

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Tone and Language

As always, the tone is edgy, rapid-fire, self-deprecating, and at times purposefully juvenile, with the group poking fun at themselves and one another, all in the context of Arizona’s pop culture universe. Sensitive subjects are approached with tongue-in-cheek irreverence while still weaving in moments of genuine personal concern.

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Summary Flow

• Opens with real-life updates and a show of solidarity for absent colleague Toledo.
• Delves into an immature but hilarious segment on “Naggers Syndrome,” serving as a lightning rod for jokes about language taboos and group immaturity.
• Features long, comedic reminiscences about the guys’ first cars, with Brady becoming the butt of an extended “uncool car” joke.
• Covers local hijinks (mall train theft), charitable efforts, and shameless event promotion.
• Dotted with regular “Brady Report” factual tidbits and trending stories.
• Welcomes comic Brian Posehn for a sharp, anecdote-rich interview that pivots back to music, comedy, and celebrity encounters.
• Concludes with Dale Hellestra’s NFL retrospectives, football economics, and reflections on aging, family, and medical legacy.

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A classic episode blending raucous humor, local flavor, and a tight-knit cast not afraid to veer from self-mockery to heartfelt moments—all wrapped up in the rowdy, sharp, and distinct voice of Arizona’s most popular morning show.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Brett]

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[Brady]

For your next big road trip.

[Brett]

Don't miss out. The Labor Day Valley Chevy sales event is going on now at all 13 Valley Chevy dealers. Visit your Valley Chevy dealer today. It's John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the Core. He's not going to be back on the court immediately, but in a few months time he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain you've been living with the Core Institute celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're. You're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do. Again. Go to the Core Institute.com hey, it's Brett Vesely.

[John Holmberg]

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[Brett]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Dale Hellestra]

Time again to let you know where.

[Brett]

To go for some great comedy in.

[Dale Hellestra]

The Valley this week.

[Brett]

Well, just in case you haven't been.

[Dale Hellestra]

Paying attention or if you've been mia, we'll let you know that Frank Caliendo is going to be performing at the Desert Ridge Improv this Friday and Saturday night.

[John Holmberg]

So tune in.

[Dale Hellestra]

Frank's going to be in with the guys all week long and just maybe we'll have tickets for you to Go catch Frank live up north at Desert Ridge for the complete live lineups and for Tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com hey, you want to win $979? Well, check this out. Handle the Heat is back with another chance to win and another chance to check out a Holmberg special on the menu at Native Grill and Wings. That's right. Join the HMS Crew at Native Grill and Wings during one of our 4U brews for a chance to participate in Handle the Heat. That's Holmberg's hot wing eating contest. For details on all the contest rules, head to 98kupd.com Think youk Handle the Heat well, bring your appetite and find out. It's all brought to you by Native Grill and Wings. Humbug's morning sickness.

[Brett]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98 to you, P.T. good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday already. What the. This is the morning sickness. It's 5:45. My name is John. There's Brady, There's Brett. And unfortunately, today. And I know normally you wouldn't say that, but unfortunately, today there is no Toledo. And that's because he is a. A bit of a family emergency. His mother is not doing well, and he had to fly back to Montana. So we're all as much. As much, you know, as we give Toledo. It's all in fun because we love him. So having him go out there to see his mom while she's not well is our way of kind of saying, all right, deep down inside, let's pull the curtain back a little bit and say Toledo's one of our guys deep down, and he takes the punches and he takes the beating just like, you know, a champ. So we're hoping he's doing well, but he had to get out of here yesterday pretty darn fast, so that's no fun. In the meantime, the three of us are here, and what we need in this room with all that's going on between you and you and Toledo, I'm doing fine.

[John Holmberg]

No reason to brag, bro.

[Brett]

Oh, no. I'm gonna end up under a truck. There's. You know, this is the time when we have to. I say this all the time. It's like this show sometimes will shock you when you get an email from somebody that says, I was going through the worst of it, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then you jackasses did something and I laugh for the first time after family tragedy or, you know, terrible divorce or some sort of thing that happened. So somebody emailed me and said, I would like to have Brett read this. They're not going through a fun day, but I'd like to have Brett read this because I think it would work out great. And I think, can Brett get through this without laughing? Now, it's just an email, but it's based on a medical condition I didn't know was a thing. And it does. It's not bad, but I don't think Brett can read it without laughing. It's not a bad thing. Brady, right? When he reads this, don't pre read it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not.

[Brett]

Just be professional. Take your time. Don't speed through. It's not necessarily a news story as much as it is the first thing. I read this morning and thought, I don't think he can do it. And it's again, because he's going to lose. It doesn't mean anything other than he's an idiot.

[Brady]

When can we expect the unraveling?

[Brett]

You know, the scary part is it's the last, like, sentence, okay? It's a description and then the final sentence. Good.

[Brady]

Then we'll get through the meat of the.

[Brett]

We should get through the meat of the story. And then. And then adults, unfortunately, have to use you in that. Adults like you and I, Brady, will be informed and we'll understand something. And then the laughing's gonna start. Cuz I know for a fact he can't get through this. I'm putting. I will put all of the money on the fact there's no way Brett can get through this.

[John Holmberg]

Shouldn't this be for the Brady Report? If we're informing, what am I doing here?

[Brett]

This is. The Brady Report is designed to laugh and it's not intentional. You just can't say certain words without laughing. And this again, there is nothing bad about this word at all. But I don't think he can say it without laughing. Brett, go ahead and read the part I gave. All right. Oh, wait. I should give you some news music, right?

[John Holmberg]

You putting the pressure on.

[Brett]

Hold on. No, don't read it yet. Let me see if I can find that news music. Where the hell is that? Not in that. This is where Toledo usually comes running in. Unfortunately, he's not here anyway. All right. I don't know where it is. All right. We'll have to find it some other way. You go ahead and go. We missed Alito.

[John Holmberg]

All right, you play the Godfather music or something.

[Brett]

Oh, you know what? That's a good idea. We'll do some Brett music. Let me get your junk in there. Good Christ. This thing is loaded with. With. All right, here we go. All right, here we go. Here's Brett with information.

[John Holmberg]

DJ B Non stop has a generic condition or genetic condition characterized by facial, hand, and arm abnormalities. I got through that pretty good.

[Brett]

See? Abnormalities, but go ahead. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Common features include underdeveloped cheekbones, a small lower jaw, and hand and arm abnormalities. Got that word again.

[Brett]

Okay, here's the thing. Now, Brady and I can discuss. So far. Okay, this is a thing I don't know I've ever seen, but I think you would recognize it nearly immediately. They have tiny little jaws and baby hands, right? Yeah. And this guy's a dj. I think Brady dated a girl that had some of this, right? Did you ever find, like, a tiny arm? She had a baby arm. Did you ever find out what the name of her thing was?

[Brady]

Baby arm.

[Brett]

We're gonna find out. We're gonna find out the official name in just a second.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Such as missing malformed thumbs. This condition is commonly known as.

[Brett]

Told ya.

[Brady]

There we go.

[John Holmberg]

It's N word syndrome.

[Brett]

No, it's naggers. It's naggers syndrome. I know, but I couldn't get through. And I knew he could not tell us about it because he laughs at everything that's close to racist. And you make. This is. You make things that aren't racist. Really racist. I knew I was interested in this, and I. Look, that was interesting. I googled naggers, and it made me. Stop it, and it made it feel like I was doing something wrong because of you. Prior to you, I would have been able to go right through that website and not. You have ruined it. You've made me racist where there's no racism. Yes, you have done it. You have made me a bigot where there is no bigotry. Nagger syndrome has been around for.

[Brady]

And Dr. Naggers, he's the one who.

[Brett]

Kind of had it named after him. And it's not hilarious. I knew he couldn't hear. Where's he from? No, no, no. See, that's what I'm talking about. So if you have that, I apologize. Brett finds your disease hilarious. I do. No, you've ruined it. And I knew this would happen. He's ruined it.

[Brady]

I figured out Brett kind of gets, like, Shaggy from Scooby Doo.

[Brett]

Me too. Scoot he's got nagger's disease. Ra.

[Dale Hellestra]

What's so funny?

[Brett]

I don't know. It sounds like it's almost bad. It's not, though. It's not. And we have to get past. We have to be adults when we meet someone with naggers, because now. Stop it. Now you're just celebrating. No, I'm not.

[John Holmberg]

I was learning.

[Brett]

Right? We were.

[Brady]

The entire time, you're thinking, oh, that's a person with a birth defect.

[Brett]

That's what you were saying, right? Yeah, that's right. And it can develop over time. And we learn that, and then we find out what it's called. And if anyone in Brett's family ever got diagnosed with this, the doctor be like, it's very serious. You're going to see a deterioration in bone. Their hands will shrink. Impossible. Even their thumbs will disappear. What was he got, doc? What's he got? I'm afraid he's got nagger's disease. This is not a funny moment, sir. And then you'd hear people saying that all the time. They'd walk around, it's like, what's wrong with your hands? My naggers. It's not bad, but he makes it bad. People are confused on whether or not they should call in and complain or not. And I would say we're not saying anything bad. We're not. I didn't say anything. No, nobody has said a bad thing at all. But you have ruined words for people.

[Dale Hellestra]

I didn't say anything.

[Brett]

That's my point. You don't have to. You treat it like a child. Grow up. Brett Presley, breathe.

[Brady]

We're gonna do Brett. So.

[Brett]

No, don't you start. Charity. You've been thinking. Charity be terrible.

[Brady]

Raise money for that.

[Brett]

For that. Exactly, Brett. For that. We'll call it Brett for that. You know, we gotta freeze this. And then little palms can't accept cash anyway.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and they even reformatted it for me.

[Brett]

Yeah, the guy said, I reformatted the last sentence because it would have said it earlier. So the guy who wrote it clipped out what it's called because they started the article with that and he put it at the end. That's extremely rare. Yeah, it's extremely rare. It's not hilarious. And less than 3.1 million people are diagnosed. It's not bad, Brett. Anyway, this is what we work with. This is what we work with.

[Brady]

Sorry. If you have it and you're listening exactly.

[Brett]

Right now you're. And they're. Me, too. And those nagger sufferers are, why is it. And they're trying to type with their tiny little hands a complaint letter. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no. I don't need these emails. Guy said I have it. I had to quit my job. Now I can't pay my bills. Nope. Okay. It didn't get right. All right. There. Good. All right. Good. He didn't take advantage of you, Andrew. Anyway, it's not. It's not bad. It wasn't bad, but I knew Ryan.

[John Holmberg]

Wanted to know where. No, he's guessing where he's from.

[Brett]

Yeah, I know. I'm not. We're not reading any of the emails because they're worse and this is your fault. Again, it's not my fault. I didn't write this stuff. No, it's your fault that we can't talk about adult things in the room. And that's usually my fault. But this one is especially yours. That's your category.

[Dale Hellestra]

No way.

[Brett]

Every time you see Brett at the grocery store, if he's smiling and laughing, it's because he just walked by the Spick and span. I guarantee it. I guarantee it. And then he gets to the next island, sees nips, crackers and falls to the floor.

[John Holmberg]

There's one that came through.

[Brett]

No, I'm not. Yeah, now because of you, we have to call it like N word syndrome. And it's not. But it's not called. That is because that is bad. You're horrible.

[John Holmberg]

Now people are sending me pictures of dinosaurs.

[Brett]

Yeah, I know which one I know. All right.

[Brian Posein]

Israel.

[Brett]

This is not. This doesn't even make sense. This email. This is caused by Brett. Is that these tiny handed people have bad credit. How come they can get a hellcat? That's just not. You're awful. You're all terrible. I'm the good one in the room. I'm the decent human being that can get through a story like that in a room of adults. It would have been fun. Maybe somebody would have looked over and gone. But it would have been testing the rest of the room going, am I the only. I'm the only jackass. Okay, we're. Well, the thing about you is you don't try to control that.

[Dale Hellestra]

No, no.

[Brett]

Somebody will say something at a table next to us in a restaurant. They'll literally say something like, well, my son just bought a hellcat. And he'll go, and it's not bad. You can own a hellcat.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I gotta turn around, see who it is.

[Brett]

But because of the Internet, he thinks hellcats are hilarious. And in the Internet, sometimes it's like, damn it, that's funny.

[John Holmberg]

MK says, don't worry, John. Nobody has it's up yet. You won't get any complaints.

[Brett]

No, that's not what this disease you've caused. I didn't do anything. We can't have it. We can't have. We can't have an adult show.

[John Holmberg]

I was reading a serious news story.

[Brett]

Can't have a moment. I mean, we started the whole show giving Toledo all of our love for this, and then this happens. I didn't expect you to get this far with it, but terrible, terrible.

[Brady]

Thought maybe there'd be a little chuckle.

[Brett]

Yeah. Yeah. No, no. I knew when I saw it. I'm like, you bastards. This is. We got to change so many things just for. And I know he's not alone because I've got 500 emails immediately of people who are playing along. It says, good morning, fellas. How about a new segment called Brett's Word of the Week, where he finds a word that sounds like something awful and you work it into conversations legitimately. We could not get through through that. Eventually, people would be like, all right, they're getting away with something, but we're not. It's just cuz. He laughs.

[Brady]

I swear, if you do the word, once you heard the word, it's over, it's over.

[Brett]

And then we'd have to work it in for, like, the word of the week would have to be worked into the show a few times just to try to use it in casual conversation. He'd. He'd. Somebody would email and go, I know what they're doing. Like, we're really not doing anything. We just have a jackass amongst us who can't be adult enough to do this.

[Brady]

It's almost like Pee Wee's playhouse.

[Brett]

Yeah, except it's got a little twist. Nobody that has it is up yet, you bastards. Anyway, just thought I'd start today with that. You know, like I said, there's a lot of people going through what Toledo's going through with Brady's got what Brett's got with all this stuff that's going on in the world. And they need moments that make them laugh. Unfortunately, with Brett, it's usually something that makes you laugh and also brings great shame to your inner body. You're just printing them up, too.

[Brian Posein]

All right.

[Brett]

No, don't read that one. No. To Ira riggs.

[Dale Hellestra]

No.

[Brett]

Okay. A.J. reed. No, this one says I had that syndrome. Yeah, I'll work around it.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Brett]

Said I had the syndrome Brett is talking about and it made my dad leave. All right, that's enough. You guys are terrible. You needed that. Said, Brett and my grandfather would have loved hanging out together. Keep in mind my grandfather was a racist Klansman. They have the, they don't have this. But Brett doesn't have those views.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no.

[Brett]

He says they share the same views. No, they don't. Brett just knows all the racist stuff and finds it hysterical to the point where if it rhymes with it. He laughs. It's the Internet. What did you win? Oh, yeah, yeah. It's not good.

[John Holmberg]

And AI's making it even.

[Brett]

AI's making it awful. Yeah, it's just. Yeah, he doesn't, he doesn't laugh at actual racism.

[John Holmberg]

No, no.

[Brett]

He laughs at the stuff that almost is and is. You know, why'd they name it that? And then it's fret, Best day ever. And to me it's deeply concerning because it's. Now I read it and I go, there's no way he's getting through that. So now I can play the game at home and I. And I kind of hate you for it, but what are you gonna do? That's how we start today, you bastard. Anyway, I don't even know where to go after that. But it is the thing. I did see another story that won't make Brett laugh that was very interesting. And they, they showed an. There was an ad in a magazine 30 years ago that basically said in 30 years. He was talking about an investment Firm said, In 30 years a burger is going to cost. A burger and fries will be 16 bucks. Your average vacation will be 12,500 and your average car will be 65,000. And everybody back then went, it's not even the inflation rate. That can't happen. Like, not average truck today is $64,700. The average truck, average car is 48,000.

[Brady]

Yeah, 48 or 49.

[Brett]

You know how much it was 30 years ago? This is what shocked me. The average car in 1995. Take a shot.

[Brady]

30 years ago. Yeah, 20,000.

[John Holmberg]

No, up. I'm on 25.

[Brett]

16. Because you gotta remember there was a bunch of like four thousand dollar options, like really cruddy ones. So the, and the most expensive 20 was probably your average middle. Like, you know what I mean? You get rid of the low, you get rid of the high. And then you start working into that. Sixteen to 30 was because I remember my parents bought a car in the 90s and it was like $31,000. And people like, you're out of your mind.

[Brady]

Decked out.

[Brett]

It was full. It was a Jeep, it was full.

[John Holmberg]

I think my dad in 93 bought his 93 Cobra, which were limited edition Mustangs for like 21.

[Brett]

Crazy. Well, my first jeep and this is going. And then. So then it kind of dawned on me. I'm now at that age where I can go back and go when I was a boy. Oh yeah, that. I always used to make fun of that. That was a nickel. And my grandma used to say that. I remember talking to my ex wife's grandparents and I told them how much we were renting the house for. And Pasadena, and it was the year 2000 and his name was Jack McKinney. He had his real soft voice, he talk real slow, but he was all there. So when you get the house for now, he had a house in Ventura, California, on a hill that was by Two Tree Hill. And it used to be Five Tree Hill, but a bunch of vandals cut three of them down. So it was this really cool giant mountain with two big trees sitting on top of it. So we sat down at the base of that. Now, one of the windows was the ocean. It was kind of far off, but ocean views. How much do you pay a month for that? I said, well, right now, keep in mind it's the year 2000. We're at 1950amonth. Pretty high for rent. And he goes, how much space is in that home? That's 1400 square foot house. Is it a big lot? No, it's a postage stamp. We have nothing. You know how much I bought this house for? I. I don't want to hear it, old man.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna piss me off.

[Brett]

Then he goes, we took a. We took about a year to save for it. Then we got her for $3,700. I'm like, a whole house. You piece of. I was so mad at him. And then I realized in 19, in the year 2000, he was talking about a home in 1940. So the gap is pretty huge. But he got it for 3,600 bucks because the city didn't even exist. He was like one of the first people that bought it. And he stayed in the damn thing till that. He died in that thing years later. Unbelievable. So you start looking at that and you hear old people saying, ah, it used to cost this.

[Brady]

Okay, 1987, I bought my first new car. Ford Tempo.

[Brett]

Ooh, coupe. Oh, you were not trying. You were trying to not get laid.

[Brady]

$8,750.

[Brett]

Yeah, my first jeep. My dad brand new. My dad bought it in 1986, let my sister drive it for a little while, and it was absolutely brand new Jeep CJ7. And it was seven $100 brand new, had nothing in it, which is what I loved about it. And what are jeeps now?

[John Holmberg]

I mean I know they're stupid.

[Brett]

Look, that's the one thing that's keeping me from wanting a new Jeep. I like them a lot but to get anything on them you're in 75. It's crazy. And then if you want to get it like they do a good job of making them off the lot bigger. They used to just give you, you know, donut tires and like go get them and leaf spring suspension and terrible stuff like that. And then you'd have to go shocks and all that. You'd put another two or three grand into it which was half price of the car. It's crazy. And that's why they always said they held their value so well is because you bought it for seven grand, you could sell it for 12, you know, because you added some stuff into it. So now that's not good. Jeeps right now you're gonna, it's gonna be 80 grand. And I just don't, I just don't have the. I don't know something about the way I am and that's my age going back on. I don't think I can justify buying a Jeep for $80,000 even though they're worth it because they're loaded with stuff. It's weird. But yeah, now I'm at that age where my, my pet, my dad always tells me his first house he bought was $19,000 and that was 1974. 19 grand. And then it went up like he was so happy because it went up to like 27, 30. By the time he sold it it was like 35 000. It's like we made a killing on that thing.

[John Holmberg]

It was like my dad told me we bought our house in Mesa. 79 or something like that. 78 I think. I think he said it was like 40.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's crazy.

[John Holmberg]

45. And then when I told him how much we paid for our house in Dobson Ranch he's like What?

[Brett]

I know, 25.

[John Holmberg]

Too many zeros on this house.

[Brett]

Yeah, 25 grand for your place.

[Brady]

4,000 square feet.

[Brett]

Huge.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's big.

[Brett]

That's huge. It's insane. Yeah, we, my parents house was I think maybe 1300, 1400 square feet in Lowell, Indiana.

[Brady]

It's the tempo.

[Brett]

That's a. Yeah. You, you were, you bought it with you in cars you had. And still to this day, although you've stepped it up nicely with these families. You've been buying awful cars a lot. That is not a good first car to own the Outback.

[John Holmberg]

What was almost a sales.

[Brady]

That's what that was.

[Brett]

It is a. That is a dry vagina mobile. That is sand sports sil.

[Brady]

When I show up with carpet samples.

[Brett]

Oh, man. Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

You.

[Brett]

You were doing everything you could to not get laid. I pulled in in the new Ford sand panties. You might have seen me pull up and all the ladies ran away. Yeah. That is not a. You were not. You get a date. You pull up to that girl's house. She's like, oh, he's awful.

[John Holmberg]

I'm bloated.

[Brett]

Yeah. If I'm really bloated and my period started like real heavy flow. Also, I'm a lesbian. Also, I Ford tem. What were your other options?

[John Holmberg]

And you bought it new.

[Brett]

A horse.

[Brady]

Yeah, it was new.

[Brett]

You walked. You lost half the value of driving off a lot in a Ford Tempo. Yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

Nobody went with you that day, did they?

[John Holmberg]

I can see if it was a hand me down car. Like it was half sold car.

[Brett]

Here you go. Take the great deal. But he bought a brand new Ford Tempo.

[Brady]

I had my college mobile. The.

[Brian Posein]

But that was 19th.

[Brady]

It was a Buick Skylark.

[Brett]

Good Christ.

[Brady]

Sunroof.

[Brett]

Why Were you always 60?

[Brady]

Floated with the pillow tops, seats, the brome edition.

[Brett]

It's. It's any wonder all he did was dry hump anybody till he was 30. And those poor girls were just trapped underneath him. Yeah. Why in the world would you seek out a Ford Tempo? I've seen you do this before. There's something about you in cars where you. You get your eye on something awful. Yeah.

[Brady]

I didn't chop too often. I just went in there and.

[Brett]

You liked wagons. I knew that about you. Like way back in the day when you bought that Outback and you said, oh, he's been a wagon guy. Like, that's what. Not yet. Like, you're a single. You're a strapping young man. I had to come for my dad who liked wagons.

[Brady]

But of course the company car would always be a wagon.

[Brett]

He loved wagons. And then you went out and bought that Outback. And were you upset when Jim Wilson and I got out of the car and saw you get out of that green Outback and we started laughing. No. And you had just purchased it and we thought you were kidding. No.

[Brady]

Because I knew it was a sweet ride.

[Brett]

No, it wasn't a sweet ride. It wasn't at all. We literally got out of the car. He Liked it. And he said that. We thought he was kidding. Sweet ride. I'm like, when does your car get.

[Brian Posein]

Out of the shop?

[Brett]

And I gave you that thing. No, I just got it. Do you have nagger's disease? No, this is my car. I'm serious. Like. No, I know, but when do you give it back? Because this is not. No, I'm driving this. I purchased it with hard earned money.

[Brady]

Gotta go pick up the Indigo Girls.

[Brett]

And then he said the thing that made Jim and I realize he's serious. It's got two moonroofs. Like, we were crazy. There's only one moon. What do you need two windows for it for?

[Brady]

Weather band.

[Brett]

It's got a weather band in there and tells you the weather all the time. Yeah, it's. You're in Arizona, it's hot. You're not gonna need that.

[John Holmberg]

What's the worst car you bought?

[Brett]

That's it. Well, that may be the original Avalanche. That was made of plastic. Oh, no. The Honda Element.

[Brady]

That was.

[Brett]

Ronnie, you drove that an awful lot. Because she hated it the second it came home.

[Brady]

No, she loved that car.

[Brett]

You were driving it a lot.

[Brady]

Not a lot, because.

[Brett]

Yes, it was.

[Brady]

I'm like, you want to get that? That's.

[Brett]

I was in that a lot because you took it only one time you're in it. Bs. We took it to lunch a bunch because every time you drove it, we wanted to be in the joke car because it had stadium seating. We still don't understand that.

[Brady]

Because I had.

[Brett]

I was in there.

[Brady]

I don't know.

[Brett]

I sat in the back of that a lot.

[Brady]

No way.

[Brett]

At least seven or times. I was in the backseat of that car giggling and laughing when we drove to lunch because she just didn't, you know.

[Brady]

The Avalanche was too big for her.

[Brett]

The Avalanche.

[Brady]

That's why I didn't, you know.

[Brett]

Awful. That was a bad one. That was a dumb purchase. And the Outback was probably a dumb person. The Honda Element. Honda Element was one. Slight. Barely. I mean, just. If it was a photo finish of bad cars, it was one ahead of the Pontiac Aztec, which I'm shocked you didn't end up with. And thank God that that big giant guy that worked with us named Double D bought a Pontiac Aztec. And you heard the ridicule. You heard the ridicule before he and Bobby. You could get it. Yeah, because the back end of that thing turned into a tent. And I thought, this has Brady written all over it. That would have been a featured.

[Brady]

At one time, you were going after that Tesla Truck.

[Brett]

Yeah. Cuz I told you why. I know they're ugly, but it's. It harkens back to the. If it was a toy when I was a kid, I'd have wanted it. And now I'm a kid as an adult and they built 70s futuristic toys as real cars. I want to, I want to play with that. Then the price tag hits and you're like, I'm not spending if this thing is. I'm not playing for $130,000. I'm not playing with that giant silly toy. I still see him on there. And I'm like, oh, if that was just a little toy, seven year old John Holmberg would have been crying at the drugstore toy store that my mom would not buy that for me.

[Brady]

No, put that back.

[Brett]

Put it back. I'm not. I would. That's not bad.

[John Holmberg]

Now that you see him all the time, are you regretting the decision or are you happy now?

[Brett]

Seven year old me still goes, God, that's cool. Like seven year old. And I don't think they're good looking at all. I just want to play with, I want to, I want to push it around. And then you realize I could drive it. So I said, screw it. Listen to your inner you. And then I saw the price tag. I'm like, that's just dumb. But it's still smarter than a Ford Tempo.

[Brady]

No way.

[Brett]

Yeah, no way.

[Brady]

Practical.

[Brett]

Yeah. Dumb. That's the last thing you need to be in your 20s is practical. Yeah, the Sport, it had a little extra in it. Four liters, got a banger in it. Sport mode.

[Brady]

Laid that into the Isuzu Space Cab pickup truck.

[Brett]

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[John Holmberg]

What year was that Tempo? Let's pull this up.

[Brady]

87 silver.

[Brett]

They were off. It was the K car with a little curve on it. They were the. They were the answer to Chrysler kicking everybody's ass. The Tempo came out. It was that same thing as the. We just have to make this basic. It was the original Altima came out around then and they started all that stuff and those terrible. Kind of just gray like almost like Russian cars. All the roads were filled with the same basic car. Yeah. There was nothing good about that. You're looking at a picture. First cars are usually something that isn't that practical but kind of cool because you're still developing who you are. You knew then. I'm a 63 year old man. I got a car that says so. Yeah. Nothing about that was eye catching. Oh my God. Brady. You. You purchased that off the lot.

[Brady]

That wasn't it.

[Brett]

It's pretty close. I remember. That's a Ford Tempo. You're saying that's probably the closest one. That's an 87.

[John Holmberg]

That's the newer 87 interior. You said 87, right?

[Brady]

Yeah. But that's still a nice interior right there.

[Brett]

I think.

[Brady]

That one. Yep, that's it.

[Brett]

Sweet. You purchase that with your own money without being dared or having Turismo having lost a bet. I love that. Somewhere out there's a bunch of incels that have started the Tempo archives page.

[John Holmberg]

There's the Mercury version.

[Brett]

The Mercury. And it was. Remember the Mustang was the exact same body design they. That Ford ruined all their cars in the mid-80s. All of them. And Brady wanted one. Good Christ. That's an ugly car. I didn't know you had that four cylinder. No it wasn't. No, it wasn't. It wasn't just downhill with you in the driver's seat.

[Brady]

And it was a four speed.

[Brett]

It was a stick shift.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Oh my God. Carpet sales not too good that year.

[John Holmberg]

Man.

[Brady]

We spun it right to the Isuzu.

[John Holmberg]

Had to put a few more hours in to kiss.

[Brett]

12:30. Yeah. Some more.

[John Holmberg]

Job fair.

[Brett]

That was back when he was selling floors to people. Rugs and wood. There it is. Oh, somebody put us put some spoilers on it. That is uglier than you're out. But you should have gotten the original Hellcat. You'd have been a much cooler lesbian. The Tempo was for lesbians in the 80s and Brady swung that around in the late 90s. Got another lesbian car. Good lord said. Hey, John. It seems Brady loved the Taylor Swift of cars. In the 80s, it was. She's the Taylor Swift of cars. Yes. It gets you where you're going, but I don't get it. And it's. I don't get why so many of them are selling. It's.

[Brian Posein]

It's okay.

[Brett]

But if you were going out with friends and stuff, and, like, we're gonna go out tonight to bars, and I know you didn't do a lot of that, but you go out to, like, pick up broads or go out on single guy night. None of your friends were like, let's take the tempo.

[Brian Posein]

Never.

[Brady]

Not too often.

[Brett]

No. You. You didn't pile the dudes in the tempo on a fun night.

[Brady]

More than you think.

[Brett]

No, once is more than I think.

[Brady]

Or I'm driving the other car.

[Brett]

What's the other car?

[Brady]

Who's ever car.

[Dale Hellestra]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

Oh, that's what I'm saying. A cool guy's car. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Here, we can pick you one up.

[Brett]

Here, Brady, you want a Ford Tempo?

[John Holmberg]

3,600 bucks.

[Brett]

They've only got 90. It's a newer one, only dropped in value. $3,000.

[Brady]

That's no Tempo Sport.

[Brett]

Yes, it is, exactly. I like it. They'd even try to put, like, hubcaps on the wheels. They just said, leave it. That is the ugliest vehicle I've ever seen. I think I. It's got a Christmas tree air freshener in it. Does yours have that, too?

[Brady]

Did it come with that 90 base cab?

[Brett]

Isuzu 90 man. Okay. I like that. You call it an Isuzu. That's also somebody. Somebody who's 63. That's an Isuzu.

[Brady]

My Italian.

[Brett]

One of them Jap Italian fixtures. Isuzu. Yeah. The space cap. What was the. What was the great feature?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

Oh, it had. It had the.

[Dale Hellestra]

That.

[Brett]

Oh, my God. You were a lesbian for almost 20 years. You had an Isuzu space cap. Yeah, I remember those.

[Brady]

It was blue.

[Brett]

His name. You didn't have the. The gray. Kick ass gray two Tone. I did.

[Brady]

I had the blue.

[Brett]

Oh, but it had the gray on the bottom.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

The awful smurf blue. Or it was that weird sky blue that you were driving a couple weeks ago. But was it royal blue or space blue? Sky blue? What are we looking at? It's kind of lesbian blue. That's what I'm guessing. I'm going with. Yeah. Lesbian blue is not a phrase.

[Brady]

It wasn't a delicate shade of blue. Smurf Blue metallic. Navy, maybe like that blue.

[Brett]

Yeah. No, no, too dark on that one. Too blue.

[Brady]

That's too blue.

[Brett]

Yep. Oh, man. Oh, it's. I see what. I see. Which one it was. Yep, that's the. It's off. That's awful. I would expect a man in overalls who's about 71 to climb out of that. Not a. Not a man in his mid-20s kicking ass selling carpets. I'm a college graduate. I see your parents wasted all their money.

[Brady]

Yep. Loaded that baby up and drove from Milwaukee to Arizona.

[Brett]

And then. And then it. And then lesbians stole it.

[Brady]

I was downtown and I got stolen.

[Brett]

Did it get stolen? No. Oh. And then your next car was probably the. Getting close to the. The outback. You had. You spun cars a lot, though. Used to. Used to get. You can see why I understand all the ridicule. You go, I don't know why people. I'm turning a lot of heads with this. I'm getting too much attention. I better get a new one.

[Brady]

That went to the. Then it went to Mazda 626, five door turbo.

[Brett]

You got a hatchback girl car in the early 90s. You said five door.

[Brady]

Yeah, well, because the back fifth hatchback thing, they call that hatchback.

[Brett]

It was. Yeah, well, they called it that because it was selling a man a hatchback.

[Brady]

That would have been a 91, maybe something like that.

[Brett]

Or even the Mazda dealer was like, so we're gonna throw in a baby seat for free. Since you read. I don't have any kids. What the do you want this car for? Well, it's because it's cool. No, it's not. I sell these and I know it's not cool. The Mazda 691 6, fifth door. Because the whole back end lift is white. So you could have got a smoking.

[Brady]

Deal from Armin Verde.

[John Holmberg]

I would hope so.

[Brett]

I would hope you got a deal where it was almost free. There it is. Another lesbian vehicle.

[Brady]

It was more tricked out. Was it kind of like that blue one in the corner?

[Brett]

You know how they trick those out most of the time? Fish, air fresheners. And then like in the back they see how many lesbians they can stack surprisingly quick. Yeah. To speed.

[Brady]

Had that rotary engine with a turbo.

[Dale Hellestra]

You had.

[Brett]

You started poorly with your car selections right off the bat. What's the worst car you've ever had?

[John Holmberg]

I think I had an 83 Datsun pickup truck. It was all brown.

[Brett]

You bought an old beater. Yeah, but those are when they. When they're old and goofy. It's like, there's nothing you can do about it. They're supposed to suck.

[John Holmberg]

That was my second. No, it was my third car. First car was 64 Fairway. Oh, I had an 80. I had an 81 Volkswagen rabbit pickup truck.

[Brett]

Wow. Yeah. You were buying cars to be funny. Brady was doing it and didn't know it. You both bought hilarious cars, and you didn't know it. Yeah. My dumb one was trading that Jeep CJ7 in for a 1990 Ford Bronco 2. Yeah. That was my lesbian.

[John Holmberg]

It was a regular Bronco.

[Brett]

I'd be all right. Regular Bronco was fine even then. Yeah. The Bronco 2 was like, all right. And it was sandalwood brown.

[John Holmberg]

It was back when those are wrapped up.

[Brett]

Wrapped up the side. It was a horrendous lesbian vehicle. And oddly enough, my dad made the deal that we get this, and I'll help you with it, but I get to use it. That was the deal with the Jeep, too. But he never did. I get to take it hunting and stuff. I'm like, okay. And so we always kind of had a deal where if I. If I got a car and he helped me with it, if he took it, it was his for hunting or outdoorsy stuff. So he's like, I'm going down to Mexico with Scott and Ron and the wives, and I want to take you, Bronco. Like, okay. Dick had bought side street shrimp on the way back. Yeah. And the cooler leaked. The cooler leaked.

[John Holmberg]

Got his attention now.

[Brett]

Yeah. No. Brady wants to play this. And the cooler leaked all over the carpet in the back. And he left it there. He didn't clean it. So he comes back, parks it in the driveway, hits the couch. What a weekend. And it's 150 outside. I didn't know he'd spilled shrimp juice throughout the entire thing. Then it was an official lesbian car. You could not. It smelled. I'd rather have person die in my car than what he did to it. And I told him, like, if I ever did this to your car, you'd kill me. Watch your mouth. And I'm like, I didn't say anything bad. I'm just saying you shrimped my vehicle, and now you're telling me I have. It's my responsibility to clean it. You're goddamn right. And he was. He just dug his heels in on how wrong he was. He still. You know what? I need to call him. He still never apologized for that. He took my head. A big red Dodge Ram truck, and he wanted to move some stuff. Can I borrow the truck? Like, yeah, good. And he co. Signed for that one for me, that was when I was like, 23.

[John Holmberg]

So you had to. At that point.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. So I'm like, anything you need. You're even great, you know? And this is. I've had the truck for three or four years. This point. Sure. And he takes his stupid. Those straps that tighten up tight on straps. Yeah. And he put them into the little hooks in the. In the tie down in the bed. In the bed of the truck. And he's tightening so much that it's. The metal is bending the square that you put the thing in. Like, hey, you're bending it. It's a truck. What's the matter with you? Like, I don't want it all dinged up. You would kill me if I did this. Watch your mouth. What are you talking about, Watch my mouth? You're wrecking my car. And he puts it right back. And I told my mom at the time, hey, what's the deal here? He just dented my car. Remember the time that I didn't wash the tires right. And I wasn't allowed to drive ever again? You're not gonna drive till you're 18. Leaving my car looking like that. All I did was. And then I accidentally scratched his work truck.

[Brady]

The El Camino.

[Brett]

No, the El Camino was not a work truck. That was sweet. He used to get pickup trucks for work. He had the option of getting, you know, executive wagons. And like, nice guy, he always took the work truck, and I scratched the back of it once with rivets in my pants. He goes, sitting on the back of the thing. You're sliding around with your goddamn pants with the rivets and the Wii. And you gotta look what you did. I'm like, I'm sorry. I didn't know they would do that. Well, you're never gonna drive again. I'm like, I'm 14. You're not driving till you're 18 at least. Cause I scratched. Trying to respect the car. I scratched your construction work truck? Yep. Meanwhile, he's tighten that thing up. The truck is buckling. I think it's tight enough. I think you've smashed the entire payload. It's a truck. He looks at me like, I'm the idiot. He. I'm calling him later today. Hey, I need two apologies out of you. One, you shrimped my Bronco and turned my lesbian car into super lesbian car. You didn't need anything. You weren't getting laid, like. Yeah, I know. I didn't need any help not getting laid. What? Who told you about that? You did. There's a leak in it. Oh, terrible.

[John Holmberg]

So he was real picky with his vehicles then?

[Brett]

He was picky with his cars, Right? He'd wreck yours and bring it back. Something's wrong with it. He took it for my Jeep CJ7. Four wheeling once and busted something came back. Something's wrong with your car? I'm like, well, it wasn't when you took it. Yeah. Nope. On the way up. I noticed. No, you didn't. Yeah, yeah, I know. It's bad going up. You got to take better care of that thing. Like, did you make it there and back? Yep. Then nothing's wrong with it. What'd you break? I didn't. His buddy Larry was in the car with him. Your dad smashed into something pretty hard up there, like four wheeling. He's not real good at what he's doing. Like, he hit something that's underneath. I think he got an oil pan leak. Sure enough, I take it to the dealership like, yeah, you hit something under here. And I'm like, yeah, that must have happened way before my dad took it up the Lake Chevalon and ruined it on a hill. Now this is definitely a rock. I went back and I'm like, well, you hit something when you were four wheel. No, no, no, no. It was like that. Like he was a Jedi piece of garbage. I'm not mad at my dad for Brady's terrible car choices. I curse him.

[Brady]

You'll have to go through high yellow for more than.

[Brett]

Yeah, no, that'll be the problem. Excuse me. High yellow. Somebody's got to talk to the old man.

[Dale Hellestra]

You can't talk to old man right now.

[Brett]

He. He just got diagnosed with naggers. Thank you, bro. Full circle. That's how this works. Let's get a wake up song. 5, 8, 5, 9, 800. We'll scream it together. It's 98. KUPD. Wake up. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.

[Dale Hellestra]

Morning sickness.

[Brett]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98, can you repeat? Thank you, Katie. And the Hobbs that's miles to nowhere, once again kicking us off as we roll into a Thursday where Brett would normally be out in the van truck, whatever it is, to. To collect water. And we are still doing that, but Brett has to be here with us today. Because of the Toledo family emergency or you guys don't get a podcast. Now, I know you're saying, well, Brett should still do that, but we don't hear from it because a lot of people who get the podcasts will start mouthing off. And the podcasts count as ratings. We're not taking a chance with that. We're dipping out of here. We got stations in this building that claim to be number one in the country. They just make. They just make statistics up. Now we got to pick up the slacks. Yeah. We have to keep our real ratings. You know, we're the only show in this city where the actual clients come and celebrate and have lunch with us, thanking us for being. For advertising.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Game day Men's Health came here the other day. They had a party to say thank you to us. That's outstanding.

[John Holmberg]

Bottles, too. Personalized bottles.

[Brett]

Presents and personalized wine bottles with our heads on them. And it was outstanding. That doesn't happen to the other ones. And they have to make up their statistics. We don't, but we will if we don't get the podcast out. So Brett's gonna do that instead of going out. But who's out there today is Kristen Braden. Okay. Braden's out there today. And the new Braden and the new guy. Yeah, it's fun. Their new show on Fox is hilarious. Braden and the new guy are out there. Sorry, new guy. They're going to be at Albertsons today. Dysart and Indian school. And hopefully in honor of Toledo and his mother and the situation he's dealing with, which, you know, not to sound terrible, but is probably not necessarily going the correct direction you would want it to go for joy and happiness, but. So Toledo's up in Montana as of yesterday afternoon to make sure he's there with his mom. So how about one more water push as we head into this thing this week and next week. Right. Next week we're off because Toledo's not going to be here. Brady's not going to be here. And in honor of Brady's kidney, we all kind of want to bend a knee and make sure he makes it through instead of me doing fart jokes and get a call of some Brady's slabs on the table. We don't need that. No.

[Brady]

Make sure it's jarred properly, too.

[Brett]

It's what?

[Brady]

Jarred properly.

[Brett]

Oh, we gotta. Well, we'll. We'll pickle you if you go, but. But I don't want to be on the air and get that phone call. So in honor of Brady, we're all taken. We're all taking a breath. It's like 9 11. Just going to take a week and sit and think about this while Brady recovers. And then we'll bring him back and everything will be good. But the van is out this morning at Albertsons Dysart and Indian school. So go out there, Braden. Braden will take care. He's a good guy. We like it. And the new guy, I assume he's a good guy.

[John Holmberg]

I met him this morning.

[Brett]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I think it's Max or something.

[Brett]

Or we'll go with it.

[John Holmberg]

Something like that.

[Brett]

No matter what his name is. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Just call Max.

[Brett]

We're going to call you. And the guy that got fired here from our promo crew emailed me and said that Braden hates me. Jeff, Margette hates me. And Brady, you too. Says we're pricks. Say hates us all. So hopefully you guys can go out there and find out for real, man. I mean, they're not wrong.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I mean, I'm going to be overly kind to the promo people. They might get in my car and then we get pulled over and all the drugs that are in their. In their pockets, I'll get in trouble for that. I don't want those people near me, but I'll try harder, I guess. I don't see them ever. I don't know how they could hate me, but they might. Anyway. Operation Hydration. We are going to have an announcement on Monday from the Phoenix rescue mission that they asked me not to say what they're going to announce, but we all know what it is. Basically, we did it.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute. We're not here on Monday.

[Brett]

I know. I told them that.

[John Holmberg]

So are we all coming in for 10 minutes?

[Brett]

Can I announce that Thursday? And they said no. And I said, well, we're not there Monday. Like, we'll do a. We'll put a release out online. And I'm like, I guess so. We busted our balls for this for an entire. We're not gonna be. I'll be on the air when they make the big announcement of the. Thank you. But that's all right. Hey, it's not about us. Even though a little bit. It would have been nice. Couldn't wait an extra week. Yeah. Because we're not on the next Monday either. That's Labor Day.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right.

[Brett]

So it'd be. We could wait. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What's wrong with the two?

[Brett]

Here's the one thing they did tell me, and I don't know if I'm supposed to tell you this, of what We've collected, and they're going to give us an official big number for the up to Labor Day number, which is the official one. We can keep going. You don't have to stop. 91 of it has already been given out.

[Brian Posein]

Damn.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's 900,000 bottles of water that have already gone out. So Phoenix Rescue Mission's got a big thing they're going to do, and it's for the rest of the media. I'm just sneaking it into your guys's ears because you guys did all the work, so I think you needed to hear from us. Albertson's Dysart Indian School. Let's keep it going, though, because 91% of it's already out. So as much as you've done and as much has been raised, it's. It's getting used. That's for darn sure. So help us out. Those guys, Braden and the gang will have mud vein data. Remember, tickets, KUPD stuff all day. We'll have them out there till 9 this morning if you want to go out. And then Brett's going out tonight. Yeah. You're going to be taking Toledo's place. This is a. We are in a mad scramble.

[John Holmberg]

Ridiculous.

[Brett]

Brett is going to fill in for Toledo tonight at Native Grill and Wings out there at Waddell and Litchfield. So you should leave now.

[John Holmberg]

I'm telling you, I should have just went to this water drive and stayed out there.

[Brett]

I mean, half of Toledo had to be sad that his mom's not doing well. And then he looked at having to drive to Waddell and Litchfield and went, you know what? I'm gonna go to Montana instead. It's closer. He's halfway there.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, he might as well.

[Brett]

He's gonna put less miles on the car. Anyway, Waddell and Litchfield tonight were Native Grill and Wings. We have the big Handle the Heat contest going on. And bread will be out there if you want to go. First come, first serve. Now, Brady said last week, people were lined up at like, 2. They got in on the list early. What are you doing? You're texting? Pay attention.

[Brady]

I'm hearing you. Yeah, at two o', clock, they.

[Brett]

All right, all right, all right. I'm just saying. You're hearing me. You. You have. You are a distracted screen. You're like a teenage boy. Did you see his eyes when they said, what are you doing? He looked at me like, oh, I'm in trouble.

[John Holmberg]

Like, one man can't jump. You can hear Jimmy, but you can't.

[Brett]

Listen to Jimmy, you are not a good multitasker. You were disappeared. I hear you. Two o'. Clock. Geez. Supposed to participate.

[John Holmberg]

When you heard wings, his ears perked up.

[Brett]

Watch this. Here's how the show goes. If I do it, I got you. Yeah, exactly. You two just stare at me. So stare back. Listen. Anyway, the Handled Heat contest is today at 2 and then tonight Brett will be out there from. When is that? 5:30, 7:30. So get there early, get on the list and then you can tell the people at native I won in the contest and get yourself four or five pounds of wings, slow. Eat them, put the cap back on and take them home. You got yourself free meal.

[John Holmberg]

And they also got the special with the. Was it 10 wings and a Stella for like 19 bucks. And a dollar goes to the humane Society.

[Brett]

Glorious. Everybody's winning. This is a good thing. So head on out there. Brett will be out today 5:30 to 7:30, watching you guys hog out on some wings and a chance to win $979.

[John Holmberg]

Cody wants to know, did Brady lose his virginity in 2010 with all his card choices back in the day?

[Brett]

Well, he did, yeah.

[Brady]

It was way too late.

[Brett]

Well, I mean, by virginity loss, do you mean to a woman or was he scissoring with a lesbian? I mean, I'm not sure. Brady's story will come out later. I. I would assume it's a Brady. I got an email. It said Brady's family was always into weird cars. Remember Brady's grandfather had the first Tesla. Every time his grandma got in there, it was electrified. It's true. At the first electric car every time Grandma Ruth got it. Also, people are wondering if Brady's the one who stole the Desert Sky Mall train. Like, because that would be a car you think is pretty cool. And evidently somebody. This is how empty malls are. They walked into the Desert sky mall yesterday and just took that train that drives around it. I've never been to the Desert Sky Mall because.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no. Why would you?

[Brett]

Yeah, it's over in Desert sky, but. But evidently there's a train that drives around there. It's become kind of synonymous with the mall. And it's just driving around on the.

[Brady]

Streets, throwing out the doors.

[Brett]

They're like, what are we, grand theft auto? You can just take anything that runs and steal it. And they did. So they just drove it right out of the mall. And everybody's like, oh, it must be some sort of maintenance program for the train. I mean, I wouldn't question it. If I watch the train leaving, I'm like, somebody must know what they're doing. The last thing I'd suspect is theft. But somebody took Desert Sky Mall. No, I mean, well, yeah, but of that, like, Desert Sky Mall has just got theft happening.

[Brady]

At least it was empty. But would have been funny if it was a packed train in the cars.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, all the kids were in it still. No, that wouldn't have been as funny. I think that would have been actual human trafficking in the slowest.

[John Holmberg]

But it is Desert Sky Mall.

[Brett]

So I gotta tell you, this guy who did it, hilarious. Kind of my hero. Nice job. That's a brave move, like to tell because, you know there's another dude on the other end that said, if you come back with a train from that mall, I'll give you 500 bucks. You're on. And right in front of La Carretta Doolittles. I don't know. I'm looking at the stores inside there in the picture. Then it's down there on like 83rd Avenue, just driving down the street and people are like, is that the train mall? Train? That's the. For kids. But there's nobody at the mall again, though, if I saw that, I'd assume, oh, he works here. He's driving that up. But when I see it leave the parking lot, I'm like, no, they should have probably loaded that up on a truck to take it wherever it needs to get fixed. Then you see it on the streets and you're like, no, that's been stolen. They still don't have it back.

[Brady]

How many people have that on film? They gotta collect all.

[Brett]

I mean, oh, once it went out onto the street. Yeah, for sure. The desert.

[John Holmberg]

Is there video on that one small train?

[Brady]

There is. There's one guy filming it in his car passing by the train.

[Brett]

Yeah, you look at it and he's like, he's driving down a city street, there's people in it. He went and picked up some folks. The first train car has like a guy sitting there with his arm out and they're just driving along in the desert Sky Mall train.

[Brady]

Maybe that'll be a new tour offered.

[Brett]

Of the West Valley. Yeah, well, it's not bulletproof. You don't want that anyway. It's like GTA out there. I have no idea. But it's. You know what? Yeah, I don't even know what that means. I'm looking at some of the comments on the Tick Tock announcement. It says finna be there. Fitting to be there. That's all that means is I'm going to go over that mall soon. I don't know. Where's Desert School on. Or desert. Not desert school, desert.

[John Holmberg]

It's on 75th Avenue.

[Brett]

Yeah, because it's.

[John Holmberg]

It's right by the. It's by the pavilion.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah.

[Brett]

It's not a horrible area, is it?

[Brady]

No, it's nice.

[Brett]

Okay, never mind. It is. It is. Brett's eyes just said it's a bad spot.

[John Holmberg]

It's like 75th and Encanto.

[Brett]

Is that bad Avenue? Okay, calm down. Jesus Christ. No, I'm sorry. I know there's a couple of patches out. Never really been too troubled being in that area around concerts because you're only.

[John Holmberg]

Going to the concerts.

[Brady]

Go there all the time.

[Brett]

Yeah, I don't go there all the time, and that would be silly. I don't go to the Avenues all the time. No, that's just it. Yeah, that's interesting. All right.

[Dale Hellestra]

Hberg's morning sickness.

[Brett]

Anyway, if you have any information. Any information leading to the arrest of the. The train thief.

[Brady]

Train robbers.

[Brett]

Give him. Exactly. It's like Billy the Kid. Pat him on the back and tell him hilarious and just let him go. This is a good one. Give them their train back.

[John Holmberg]

Where's the story at?

[Brett]

I just got it on Instagram from David Vasquez, of all people. Yeah. Here, I'll just show you. This is the. The video is pretty great of just driving down the road and passing it. Somebody saw it and then went around on the block and saw it again. There's people just riding along. It's 105 outside. It's in the neighborhood. At that point, it had made it where it needed to be. And I'll tell you, the house that goes by. You guys need some landscape help so that maybe Brett's right. That's not a very good neighborhood. Yeah, that's. The house is also light green.

[Brady]

Neighborhood just improved. With the train there.

[Brett]

Well, yeah, sure. They've got a. They've got something to see if we.

[John Holmberg]

Helped with the track down of the missing train of Desert Sky. Can we get tickets and bring the train to the next U fest? Yeah, if you. If you. God, come up with the train and you can bring it to the next.

[Brett]

If you bring. I'll tell you what, if you bring that train to the station, Brady will give you. Our station will give you $10,000. How about that? If you bring us the stolen train, we'll do a little video of us saying we've got to get that train back. You know, when, like, Shaq got stolen and radio stations did those dumb Videos say we need that shack cut out back, and like five minutes later it was cut out, was worthless. We're not really going to give you money to steal the train. Although I will give you the idea.

[Brady]

Of train rides at U Fest next year.

[Brett]

Look, if you can get hold of it or borrow it, bring it over. It's real close to the.

[Dale Hellestra]

The.

[Brett]

The. The Desert Sky Pavilion, talking stick, whatever that's called. New this. Dude, I'm in the avenues way up north. But Desert sky is a dump, okay? I don't know the neighborhood well enough. I don't know if it's bad or not. All right, Cameron, I have no idea what the. I'm not a real estate. Oh, that's Doug Hopkins. What it's like. And I'll just hear, bro. I'm like, okay, I gotcha.

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't even offer five grand.

[Brett]

I can tell you.

[Brady]

We used to do. We did like a. A pre concert, meaning it's a restaurant. That was Makayo's. Yeah, that was Desert Sky.

[Brett]

That didn't seem so bad.

[Brady]

No.

[Brett]

Brett's argument speaks volumes since 75th and Thomas is the mall. And yeah, that's bad. I grew up there. The last New Year's, I heard more gunfire than I did in 12 months in Iraq combined. Okay, all right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I don't know the area, but very well. But I know that the. That's hilarious. And they stole that trainer on that, so be careful. I was at. I had a great lunch yesterday. Matt Coleman, who runs the comedy clubs, wanted to meet yesterday. So our sales lady, Jen Gardner, me and Matt met at Trevor's over here on Indian School. And we're just chatting away, and the waitress comes over and starts talking to us about some stuff. And back and forth we go. And she's kind of funny, so the whole thing's funny. Komen shows up, sits down at the table, and she. And the waitress said something to me, and I'm like, you wouldn't say that to me if I wasn't Jewish. And she goes, oh, my God, you're Jewish. And I said, no. And then she said something. And I said, but he is. And I point to Komen because he actually is Jewish. So the jokes were flying around the table. And she, without missing a beat, turns to Komen and goes, do you know about coin shaving? And Comey's like, what? And I'm like, oh, now you're talking his language. You said coin. He's interested. So she starts to talk about. Well, she said, do you know about. She Actually said, do you know why there are ridges on the edges of coins? And I didn't. And I'm like, I have no idea. So I'm like, so people who are like, sight or something, they can feel the difference between a nickel and a quarter. And I'm like, but a dime would, like, size would be the thing. And she goes, no, back in the day when they made. This is exactly what she said. She goes, back in the day when they made coins out of precious metals, Jews would clip it off. She said this to us, and she wasn't being racist. She was just telling the story. And we were joking. And I said, you need to tell that story over there. And I would do the point. The, you know, the Elon Musk point. She was, no, it's not mean. And so it just sounded. So evidently they would, you know, trim off the edges of coins and take the shavings and sell them because they were worth something. They were like actual platinum or silver. Silver and, yeah, all that stuff. So they would do the edges. So they put ridges on it so you couldn't f. With the edges of the coin and shrink them down a little bit, like. Like shaving them. We didn't know what it was called and stuff like that. So she leaves. Leaves and comes back, and I'm like, oh, look who's back. And I gave her the salute again. It was just playful fun. The table next to us writes on the back of their bill. And she comes back to him. She goes, look what the table next to us wrote on the back of the bill. And it said. It was all over the back. It said, it's called coin shaving. It's coin clipping was another name, a form of currency debasement prevalent throughout history. Individuals would shave or cut small edges off of it. And he said, so they did that to profit off of the shavings. And he said, the Jews would do that. So they wrote it. They heard our conversation at the table next to us and took the time to scribble out the full definition of what Matt Komen's people used to do to money. And Coleman's like, this is ridiculous. Where am I? In some sort of rally for Hitler? All of this. And so we all started looking. That's a real thing. I never knew why coins had ridges. And it was to keep my people from shaving them. Yeah, I had no idea.

[John Holmberg]

Learn something from Jen, huh?

[Brett]

Yeah, man. It was. I mean, and the waitress was whipped quick. Like, she was funny. And she came, oh, you didn't Expect it. At first, you know, she's just kind of a normal, like, server. And she comes by and everything's normal. And then she made one little crack. I make a crack back. She fires back. I'm like, oh, she's fast. And then Coleman's there and he's. We're all going. And Jen's very funny. And we. All of a sudden, this was like a little four man routine that got going pretty good. She's very funny. And then she turns to me, she thought I was with. She thought Jen Gardner was mine. And then she goes, how did you get her? And I said, oh, I'm just nailing her. I'm not really. We're not doing anything. Like, there's no commitment here. I just. Boner. It's called hamstring. You lay on top of the car with a sunroof and you put your. Oh, you know about hamstering. Yeah, hamster is pretty great. You put your wiener in the sunroof and then she acts like it's a water bottle inside. And she started laughing. And I'm like, I'm not with her. She works with me. I don't date old broads. More jokes, right? Just joking around the whole time. And. And then she said, you must have money or something else. And I'm like, well, I don't have the something else you mean, so maybe I do. And then she said. And then Jen said. She said, what does he do for a living that would make you even interested? She won't give up on the idea that Jen and I are bone and we're not. And then. And she goes, well, he does. Or Coleman spouts off because he does a morning radio show at kupd. And she goes, oh, my God, really? And this just crushed me to the core. My dad loves you. Aw. She goes, you're about the same age. I'm guessing you're about 50, 53. And I'm like, yeah, I just turned 53. And she goes, can I get a picture? For my dad, I suppose. Nazi. So to Mark, the father of that little Nazi waitress over at Trevor. Thanks for listening all these years and raising her properly. Taught your kid well. Yeah. The other thing is, she said we used to listen in the car all the time driving in. She said it was my stepdad. And she said we used to listen in the car all the time driving in when I was a little kid. And I'm like, that's why you're funny. That's the reason you're funny. You listen to. You were Raised on funny. So good for you. But she was fun. We had a good time. And Coleman, one of the reasons I wanted to. He wanted to meet with me is listen to this. This. He told me. Can you announce this for me? Shane Gillis is coming here through the clubs, right? And he said he's gonna be here December 5th. And there's a secret pre sale for tickets to see Gillis that he once announced today for you guys starting at 10am Gillis is killing it right now. He's about as funny as they get. He's playing the Phoenix Arena. It's amazing the pre sale code that only you guys will know. We're only giving it to you guys at KUPD here. The code is capital L I V E. Live. That's the word. So you go to. I guess it doesn't. He didn't give me the thing to go to. You get tickets before wherever you go to get tickets. I guess 9am he didn't tell me the website I guess you'd go to. Would you go to Stand Up Live or Shane Gillis or whatever. You can use it. Use the code up till 9am then the tickets go on sale to the general public at 10. So I think you can do it. Try it out right now. Try to find Shane Gillis tickets and use the password live. And you can. You can actually buy them now. So if you guys want to get them with Gillis coming to town giving you a little heads up that we've got a little code for it. But he's going to be here December 5th, secret pre sale because it starts today. So if the good news is you can get the presale code to get tickets before everyone else. Just use the password live. That's what it says. And I don't know how he didn't tell me what website to go to. So you got to do a little digging. That's all right. For this secret code you should have to do a little work. I said I would. Imagine you can probably go either not work on Ticketmaster Live Nation maybe. Who's running the show over there? I have no idea who's doing it.

[John Holmberg]

It's L I V E. Cap all caps.

[Brett]

L I V E. Yeah. For their. For the password. I'll get with Coleman. What's the wisdom?

[Brady]

Is that Stand Up Live?

[Brett]

No, it's a Phoenix Arena. No, but I'm saying that's what I'm. The website you mean? Yeah, yeah. I'm texting him. What's the website? Jackass. He's too Busy shaving the edges off of coins to know details at this point. Yeah. So that's pretty good deal. And that's pretty cool. So we'll. We'll keep you guys. We'll keep you guys up to date on that all morning long. So you can keep swiping tickets to the Gilla show. I think that's pretty awesome. Pretty cool. Cool. And yes, when I brought up hamstring, it is a real thing. People are getting caught hamstring like crazy. So if you've got. We can't do it here in Phoenix because laying on top of a hot roof even at night time isn't going to feel good. But evidently there's People pull it off at night. You think?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

So hot. So hot. I know the sun isn't going to make the metal hot.

[Brady]

Maybe a little more preparation like putting a couple of towels.

[Brett]

Yeah. Drop a couple towels down just in case it still retains some heat. I'd say like 10 or 11 at night it's safe to take your car and lay on top of it. But yeah, you just drop your genitals right into the sunroof. She sits inside the car and does hamster water bottle to your junk. And that's pretty inventive. I gotta hand it to the people that came up with hamstring. But it's happening so often now that it's got a name and they're catching people like crazy. You know the hot wifing thing where you, you let your brother or somebody, a friend of yours take a spin on your wife to see if she's still hot to other guys? It's a pretty good one.

[Brady]

Imagine walking up on someone hamstring.

[Brett]

Well, I mean it's. There's nothing else pretty obvious. It's incredibly obvious. Like, what are you doing up there? Of course he's hamstring. Who lays on top of their car. But yeah, so that's a thing. So if you want to get involved in that and you've got a sunroof. I don't have a sunroof, but I can take the top off of my Jeep. Jeep. It would be a feat of core strength for me to lay across the windshield of my Jeep all the way to the back with the freedom top. They call it the middle part taken out. I would have to really core up. I don't know that I could finish that process without like bending my knees backwards in some sort of flamingo way.

[Brady]

The. What do they call the. The COVID the soft tanu cover and.

[Brett]

Just drill a hole in it and.

[Brady]

Then just sideways hamster. Is it going to hang over the back? See, I would call that in that open.

[Brett]

Oh, you're talking about in the back end.

[Brady]

Yeah, the back end.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's just standing. That's hamster kinda. That's when your hamster cage won't take the thing. So you kind of rig it on there. Yeah, I'm gonna do the over the.

[Brady]

Top on the side of the.

[Brett]

Yeah, I like the over the top one. That's official. Otherwise, if you're just going through a window, it's just. Sonic drive in, I think is what you should call that. If you're just plopping it through a window, you know, it would be a good one, guys. This is a new one. You could try get some roller skates, as gay as that sounds, skate up to the window and just plop it in the window and have her sonic. Sonic drive in. Drive. Yeah, yeah. Sonic drive in. I think it's a good idea.

[John Holmberg]

Some tots in a handy.

[Brett]

Yeah. Oh my God. Drop off some tots. Put your tots in her mouth too. Yeah, I like that. And then just. But the roller skates are imperative. And it kind of has to be a lower car. Like a. Like one of those slammed tempo or something. Yeah, like the Little Hondas. An 87 Ford Tempo. Never mind. You're not getting blown in that. Never mind.

[Brady]

Now you're talking.

[Brett]

And we know from experience that there's never been. You know what's never happened? I think the world would come to an end if there was roadhead in a tempo between a man and a woman. I'm sure it's happened. I don't think it's ever happened. You never got that in the tempo. Don't. But don't look at the ceiling tiles. I know the answer.

[Brady]

I went out on a lot of dates in the tempo.

[Brett]

Yeah, I bet once with each of them. A lot of dates. A lot of single dates. And even weird after first date, she gets in the car and just looks at him. I don't think this is worth it. Wait, wait, wait.

[Brady]

Where are you going?

[Brett]

Brady blew it every time. Cause the girl would get in his Ford Tempo and go, I don't think this is working. What are you talking about? It's a tempo. It'll start right up. No, no, no. The relationship. Oh, yeah. No, probably not. I drive a Tempo. Never accuse this car of not working. It is reliable.

[Brady]

I made a mix for you.

[Brett]

Celebrate me home. Yeah. Celebrate me to my house My front door and don't walk Me up. In fact, park two houses down. I don't want people to see me getting out of a Tempo. Do they still make the Tempo? No, no, because Ford learned their lesson.

[Brady]

Sunroof. I get hamster in it.

[Brett]

Yeah, a bunch of gray, faceless blob people went up. I would like a Ford Tempo to match my personality. Is this Kenny Loggins? Give me a number, please. Isn't this beautiful? Thinking about me? Just drop me off here. I'll walk. It's a bad neighborhood. I don't care. I'd rather get raped by somebody out there than you and you here. I'm gonna take the desert sky train home. She's. She's. Whoa, whoa.

[Brady]

What are you doing? No eating in the car.

[Brett]

That's for me.

[Dale Hellestra]

There was.

[Brett]

There was a no eating in the car roll, because that's Brady's bag. Get your hands out of there. What are you doing? You don't allow eating in the car? Well, not you. I didn't buy this for you.

[Brady]

Mess my interior up.

[Brett]

How do you think the date's going?

[Brady]

Slowly.

[Brett]

How many times after she got out of the Tempo did she go right to the phone and call her friend? Why did you set me up with that thing? What do you mean? Brady's a good guy. He has a Tempo. Oh, my God. He still drives that car. I'm so sorry.

[Brady]

Never forgot the sound when she'd get up out of the seat and you hear those beads rattling the beaded seats.

[Brett]

Because you were like. Like a Mideast taxi driver. Did you have beaded seat? Oh, I was gonna say that would be the only thing that makes the tempo worse. Probably add value to a tempo.

[John Holmberg]

Did it have those automatic seat belts, too, that went up and over?

[Brett]

What's that? Yeah, close the door. Close the door. And it would attack you.

[Brady]

You're sealed in.

[Brett]

It would attack you with the car because they were attached to the door. Oh, they were the worst. Oh. So how many times when you went on a date, does the first question say, hi, thanks for picking me up? And then she looked around and went, so, what do you do for a living? Guess he was worried the next, well, I'm kind of between jobs right now, which explains the tempo. You know, got to keep a slow tempo, a steady pace, and that's what the car kind of represents. You might want to look in the back seat, pick out a rug option later for munching, because I drive a lesbian's vehicle and I sell carpet out of it.

[Brady]

Irony, tile, wood. You name it, we lay it.

[Brett]

You Name it, we'll lay it. I know. I'm not gonna lay you though. So let's take a look at these floors.

[John Holmberg]

1-800-588-2300 Empire.

[Brett]

Call today. Will somebody with a Tempo come to my house? Because then I know I'm getting a good deal. Deal.

[Brady]

Brady with Gerlock floors.

[Brett]

That had to be a nightmare. You were Herb Tarlek.

[John Holmberg]

Still red wigglers too.

[Brett]

Mid 20s in those plaid pants hopping out of a Tempo. You know how many people saw you odd colored corduroys. I'm telling you right now. Oh, yeah, patchy corduroys. How many people saw Brady standing there with a drink in their hands walking up to their house with that weird catalog of carpet samples that's huge. As he gets out of his. In his red suit and the guy in the window just goes, oh, no, honey, don't answer it. Some salesman's coming to the door with carpet samples. He just got out of a Ford Tempo. We don't want anything to do with it. Luckily, I wasn't sure. Did you wear the suits? It's Midwest. You had to wear a suit to do the sales.

[Brady]

I would wear a. Usually just a shirt and top, but I'm going out on. It was mostly. It was commercial. So it was construction sites.

[Brett]

And they still never wanted. Oh, the worst company pulling a Tempo up to a construction site. You were a lesbian.

[John Holmberg]

This guy.

[Brett]

Yeah. What the. Nobody said city boy to your Ford Tempo. You have a delusion in your head. Look at that fat little dyke over there with the carpets in her hand. She must be hungry for lunch. I'm not a girl. I just drive a Ford Tempo and I'm shaped like a lesbian. Want to buy some rugs?

[Brian Posein]

I told you that was a lesbian.

[Brett]

How long did you sell rugs?

[Brady]

Year.

[Brett]

Just a year. Because then you had. This is a nightmare.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Not fun.

[Brady]

It was. You could definitely make some money in it. I mean, you get Floyd.

[John Holmberg]

Why were you driving a Tempo?

[Brett]

I know you couldn't because you had a Ford Tempo. To prove your point is moving to make a lot of money, get yourself into a nice Tempo. Maybe two. Yeah. You can't make a lot of money and say that I drove a Ford Tempo while I did. What was the. What was the top salesman driving? A Tempo SS.

[Brady]

That'd be a 7 Series.

[Brett]

No kidding. He owned the company, though. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's not the top salesman. That's the owner. That's different.

[Brady]

Top salesman was driving a Ford Tempo.

[Brett]

It was you. And then. You can't make A lot of money in it. Stop saying stupid things.

[John Holmberg]

Christ was the bottom feed, right?

[Brett]

Tricyc and a catalog of used wood flooring. Times are tight. Sure could use your business. This is our Slump Buster summer sale.

[Brady]

No good leads.

[Brett]

I got you. Send me to Patel. Why don't I just bring them a bucket of dirt? Because that's what they want is a floor. I sold to the Patels. I got him a nice new floor of dirt. That's the. That's a. Yeah, don't tell people. You can make a lot of money in it. No, you can't. You had a Ford Tempo and you quit.

[Brady]

I didn't. I didn't stick around enough.

[Brett]

Quit? No. You were the top salesman the first year you were there.

[Brady]

Yeah, because there was one other guy, right.

[Brett]

And he couldn't beat the new guy. Yeah, right. Get out there and sell carpet, Brady. It's the Slump Buster sale of summer. Yeah, just Ford Tempo, is it? You're driving around? Yeah, I guess I'm leading in the clubhouse there.

[Brady]

Pulling up my later hosen.

[Brett]

Brady. Brady. What is it there, Walt? Second place salesman at Garlic Flooring.

[John Holmberg]

Gerlock.

[Brett]

Can I help? Can you come over here and help me twist? Start my engine here on the Model T. I got to get these samples over there to that new house. I don't like that little crank on the front of your car. That's silly.

[Brady]

I need this contract, man. I got five kids.

[Brett]

Pour in some pure alcohol. That's the only thing this runs on. It's on fire. That means it's working. Keep going. You can make a lot of money in it. Brett hit you immediately. No, you can't. You drove a Tempo. Brady lies to himself that everything he did was okay. That was a bad choice. A lot of them. All in a bunch. How did you get the. Who put you? Your dad knew the owner got you.

[Brady]

No, the owner came up to me because he knew. Yeah, he knew my dad. He was my football coach. And it's like in my family. Had a business in air conditioning. Worked with a lot of contractors.

[Brett]

Sure.

[Brady]

He's like, you can get in the door and.

[Brett]

So, like I said, he knew your dad. Your dad knew he knew me. Well, he knew you, but your dad probably said, sure, it'd be nice to get that kid in a church. Does he know about floors? I think we all do. I don't think that's something that escapes anyone. Well, that's easy then. If he knows what the ground is, he can sell flooring.

[Brady]

You just get me in the door. I'll do the rest from there.

[Brett]

Ready? Now? My name is Bob Gerlick and I want you to be my top salesman. Are you familiar with the ground? Ah, what do you mean? Jesus, this is gonna be a tough one. You know, the thing is standout. Oh, yeah, yeah. I know about that. Don't you love when it's cushy? I guess. Well, you can be the one that gives that gift to everyone. Do you want to sell flooring to the ground? Hot dog. I could get you in a brand new Ford temple by the end of the year. Holy smokes. I'll be a rocky feller.

[Brady]

The timing was perfect when he talked to me.

[Brett]

You were broke?

[Brady]

I was cutting the grass at home. Just graduated.

[Brett]

What are you doing, college boy cutting grass.

[John Holmberg]

He had Tempo payments?

[Brady]

No, didn't get the tempo yet.

[Brett]

He didn't have $13 a month. We always talk about the s heel of the year on the show. Every month or so we have a new s heel of the year. And in my brain, I think I have got to start finding more positive people. I have such a bad relationship with my imagination of the general public. It's called cynicism and it's called reality. And I also say that I do find myself, and I think most of us do, looking past great moments. And there is a dude in Maricopa. We need to talk about real Arizona heroes.

[Dale Hellestra]

Real Arizona heroes.

[Brett]

63 year old Michael Blair. This is the most heroic thing I've heard a dude do in a long time and he died doing it. He needs credit. His backyard. There was a fire in his backyard in Maricopa. 63 years old, had heart troubles, right? Wasn't in great shape, evidently. Notice that the. As he tried to put the fire out in the backyard, it's, you know, Maricopa, it's dry desert. You're out there, you know. I don't know what his situation was, but the fire quickly spread. Red hit the house. House. He noticed. Oh, my God. Not only is my house on fire, it's already in the attic, which is the worst kind of house fire because that means it's all coming down soon and you're not. You're not doing well. So it starts to fill with smoke. He notices that. He's like, my wife's in there. Dude runs into the house, grabs the wife, gets her out, right? Then he. He ran into the burning home, rescued his wife to prevent the fire from spreading. He grabbed the hose or whatever and then went right back in there and tried to go in because he Noticed that the fire in his house was spreading at such a rate, it was about to jump into. I think that's what this is, if I'm maybe inaccurately doing this. But it was about to jump over into the bedroom of the nursery of the house next door. So he was trying to get it out on his own before they got there. So he's in there and it's not smart, but he went in there because it was close to the neighbor's kids room and he started to do the work and realized, oh, and ran out. They don't know if it was smoke inhalation. They're not. They didn't say that was it. They think he had a heart attack saving everyone.

[Dale Hellestra]

Sickness.

[Brett]

And without him doing what he did, it would have been 10 times worse. So sometimes we have to sit back and go. We also have as many S heels as I talk about on hand the other. We also have dudes like that who need statues built of them, who do stuff that I'm not sure I would do. Running. Running into a burning building to make sure the neighbor's house didn't start on fire. That's amazing. Also tells me that the houses of Maricopa are too close together. And they are, but man, oh man, because he, you know, the attic fire, the. The eaves of your house are within a foot.

[Brady]

Could have been those row houses.

[Brett]

Yeah, or that. But even still, if you've been to a lot of. I mean, even Mesa Gilbert Tempe, the new neighborhoods are tight and there's like. The setback is like two and a half feet from house to house when the roof eaves are. So he knew that and he's like, this can't spread any further. And he went back to try to stop it simply because he said to the people as he went to the kids room next door, I gotta stop this before the fire. Somebody's gotta do something. He went back in. So to this dude and his family and the loss. Terrible. But instead of focusing so much, much on all the awful people we have in the world, sometimes heroes end up doing something and families lose a guy. And this dude sounds like he was one of them now also, it erases everything horrible this guy may have done in his 63 years. He might have been a degenerate, horrible person. We don't know. Sounds like he was a nice guy, but you don't know. We don't know him. The news only tells you one thing, but when you do something like that, it erases everything bad. Like there isn't a like, your wife could hate you, your kids could hate you, your dad and mom could hate you. You could hate this person at work. You'd be the worst. But you run into a burning building, save someone, and go back in to try to save the neighbor's house, too. Whatever you've done in the past is erased. You no longer have. You're forgiven for all of it, and you're remembered for that. And that only. I don't know this dude's story, but that's a good way to go out. When you think about it, saving people from a burning building. So if you're on, like brady right now, if you're driving home, you're like, you know, what future could be dim? You don't know whole thing. Run into a burning building and save some people and no one will care about anything. That'll be your legacy. If the last thing you do in your life is your legacy, awesome work. Because then you can get away with everything. Your whole entire existence. For 63 years, I've done some dumb stuff in my life. If I ran into a burning building today and saved some people, there isn't anybody could be. Yeah, but he's also. No, he's a dude who ran into a burning building and saved people. You want to bring up his past? It's over. What I'm saying is we need a lot more burning buildings that. We need a lot more people doing work. That's it. Firefighters don't get all the credit. They're great people, but they're paid to do it. This dude wasn't. And even after he got his wife out when all the. That was it, it was over, he went back in there to make sure that didn't get anybody out. Else. That's amazing. So we will focus today on a real hero of Arizona. They also live amongst us, Michael blunt. And unfortunately, we lost him. But it was a big ass fire down there in maricopa and he did everything he could to do it. Think about that next time you see a house fire. My buddy rich drove by a house fire on Campbell and 24th street thereabouts. And he called me and he's like, dude, I'm sitting outside. I just went inside and just got this lady out of a house. House, it's burning. And you know what sucks about that? Right as he was doing that, the. Because she kept trying to go back in. He kept pulling her. He's like, nobody's in there. You got to stay out. Got to stay out. The firefighters were there right about the same time. And they got all the credit. He didn't get any. He didn't get any news coverage at all. It was on the news and everything. Didn't nobody. Nobody. Rich did a lot of it. And also, if you're going to do this, make sure that the people you're saving speak English, because evidently the lady wasn't real good with English, so she couldn't save. This guy helped me. And then the firefighters are like, get out of here. Go on. We got it from here. And then they came in and stole all of his valor. But he did a good thing. And I'll throw that out there. Rich falls. Nice job. I also happened to notice that at.

[Brady]

Least he wasn't under investigation for starting the fire.

[Brett]

No, don't start the fire and then save it. A lot of people do that. Like, a lot of people. Like that guy that started the rodeo, Cheddar's guy fire. One half of that fire was started by a former firefighter who wanted credit for stopping it and got out of control. So he started the fire, and then he was going to be the hero, and he lit the entire forest on fire. And then, oops. Then it merged with another fire, and that was his fault. So don't do. Don't be a hero. Don't, you know, don't fake it. But if you see a house fire and you've got a couple of, you know, you know, petty thefts, a felony maybe you want to get rid of, pretty good way to do it. Now, I know the fire department's like, what does Holmberg say? Saying, what I'm saying is, citizens run into burning buildings. It's good for your legacy. That's what I'm saying.

[Brady]

It was a dude driving that train today. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

After that, you know, his boss is gonna be like, what in the hell were you thinking? Oh, we got a little drunk. I was banging my side piece. She dared me. It's like, you are a horrible, degenerate human being. I don't think I want to be associated with you. And then he's driving home, he sees a house fire, runs in there. There. Saves a cat, a dog, and a kid comes out. Suddenly, nobody remembers the train theft. The side piece.

[Brady]

You can take the train anytime you want.

[Brett]

They're gonna give you a train for that. You can have the Desert Sky Mall train. You absolute awesome hero. Your side piece has a nice ass. Like, everything you do now is gonna be all glowy. Give him a break. Why weren't you servicing this hero wife? I didn't he deserves a side. Everybody blow eliminates all bad things you've ever done. So heroes with checkered pasts. The only thing it won't fix is like child stuff. Don't. If you've ever. Don't think going in. We're gonna think you went in there to go get a kid. Don't do it. If you've got a. If you're on the list for sex predator for kids and you're running into burning buildings to save kids, we'd rather have the kids still in the house. Let's be honest.

[Brady]

The only thing I found was this kid.

[Brett]

I found this kid. I wasn't even near that house. He brought me to the fire. Shut up.

[John Holmberg]

He has no.

[Brett]

Shut up. He was in there. He seems delirious from the smoke. This isn't smoke at all. You just used shaved black crayon on new made soot on his face, you son of a bitch. Yeah, but that's a good thing. So congr. Like that's. It's an amazing story and I think I focus my personal self. I focus way too much on all the awful stories. That's a news thing though. The news does it. They focus on terrible and good news things or tragic but heroic. We don't ever do that. That just goes without. You know. They love car crashes. They love this guy did this terrible.

[Brady]

Just throw in the cute story at the end.

[Brett]

It's usually fluff. This is a real hero. This dude walked amongst us. And so I always say that the pigs and the weirdos walk amongst us and we point them out. Sometimes you point out a hero who can't do it anymore to his family. We're sorry for your loss, but that's a hell of a story to walk out, leaving this earth with that story. God damn. Damn. Well played, Michael Blunt. And you know, it's a. It's a rough way to go out, but man, it's a hell of a way to leave your name. And maybe you just die smiling because you're like, nobody's ever gonna remember that. I was a horrendous drunk. I used to piss off the top of my car into the neighbor's house. Didn't care. Erased it. Everything you've ever done, Brett will never. Won't be remembered anymore for grabbing girls genitals at the big surf in eighth grade. That's like. That's your current legacy. Now he'd run into.

[Brady]

Ain't going into no house.

[Brett]

Brett could run into a burning house fire and pull a girl out like A six pack. And people be like, that's just what he does. He's a hero. I got her out. I'm spinning her like Curly Neil on your middle finger.

[Brian Posein]

Anyway.

[Brett]

Just saying. Michael Blunt, Hero Zero. That's it. That's true. If you're Mr. Nathan Sutherland or Paul Manchaka, this doesn't apply to you. There's certain people that can't. There's, oh, people already making pictures of Brady in front of his Ford Tempo and his Target. That has to be exactly how that looked. Salesman Brady. Brett, what do you got on the big board of Musical Treats? Wake up.

[John Holmberg]

So I'm brought to you by, of course, Action Ride Shop. Our boys, Josh and everybody else over there are going to take care of you getting back on the trails. The bike's been sitting for a little while if you haven't been riding at night. So it's now it's time to get those things serviced. And there's no better place to do that than Action Ride Shop. Two Loc, right there on Gilbert Road and Southern. Or of course the brand new one right there on power Road at McDowell. And if you want to pick up a brand new bike, got full line to get you in whatever you need, they got it for you. And they got all the advice that'll get you in the right direction. So it is. Action ride shop. Actionrideshop.com on the list. Apocalyptica Motorhead. Sir Mix a lot my hoopty for Brady's Cars. Limp Biscuit Rolling for Brady's Cars. Ghost, Judas Priest, the Hives nwa. I'm not gonna try to say it.

[Brett]

Again because I'll start. Nope, don't do it.

[John Holmberg]

Coffin Cats. Venge sevenfold and living color.

[Brett]

I like Roland for Brady's Cars. All right, all right. Brady Carl, the model T driver. Brady is once again this month's top salesman. And we all know what happens next. I get my grilled cheese. That's right. Goddammit. Grilled cheese is for closers. And you closed again, Brady. Brady's gonna carp world one grilled cheese prize at a time. That's what I can't pay in money this week. Oh, Mr. Gerlick, why? Well, I can pay in Wendy's Frosties. I thought you said you couldn't pay me in money. That's better than money.

[Brady]

Like I said, you can make a lot of money.

[Brett]

You can make, you can make, you can. Living in the cream that Tempo had to smell like rotten dairy and carpet samples. That's the carpet glue that's gonna get you. I'M getting dizzy. I don't think I want to be on this date. I feel like you've poisoned me. Oh, no, no, no. That's the carpet glue sample. Makes me feel really happy. Don't reach into that bag. Those are my fries. Those are my drive the date to the restaurant fry bag. I can't.

[Brady]

Can you hand me my bottle of Polo cologne?

[Brett]

Smells like a forest. And carpet glue in here. Yeah, you're welcome.

[John Holmberg]

Scotchgard in Jakart.

[Brett]

I'd use the Scotchgard. That is Drakkar scented. So, your house. Whoa, whoa.

[Brady]

Don't sit on the Varnays.

[Brett]

Yeah, those are mine. For daytime driving in sales, number one sales at Garlic Carpet is me and Carl are in quite a heated battle. You might notice I'm doing pretty well from my Blue Temple. Oh, it's new. Brand new. Only got 20 miles on this baby and it already needs some work. Ford Tempo. If you can't get an erection, you need a Tempo. Let's do it. For Brady and his Tempo. Sales days. And the nerve to tell us 50 years later can make a lot of money selling cars. Get yourself in a smooth temple like me. It's rolling. Stolen. It's 98. KUPD. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.

[Dale Hellestra]

Morning sickness.

[Brett]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. All right. Don't. Shut up. Quit it. That kid's killing Brett. Knock it off. Must be a bus stop up there. Yes, I'm not so. I'm just saying some guy runs by our window every morning dribbling a basketball and it's like the world comes to an end. It's very funny to watch. I feel like I'm watching the. Remember the 1970s Sesame street where that kid would run to the store?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

Dribble the basketball stick. Butter. He had the. The grocery list he had to get for his mom. Milk stick of butter. And he ran the whole way with a basketball. It's great. Anyway, that goes on. I was talking to Matt at Standup Live. Here's the thing. Kind of a confusing text. Misread. The pre sale starts at 10. We can use it until 9am tomorrow. The way it read it was you can use it till nine this morning. The pre sale today for Shane Gillis just for you guys starts today at 10 o'. Clock. And you can go to Shane Gillis.com but don't do it till 10. I misread that. I misinterpreted the whole thing. We just went back to and forth. So it's, it goes live at 10 this morning and the code word to see Shane is live. And you guys can get tickets to Shane Gillis's show before they go on sale tomorrow at 10am so we've got 23 hours to use the code. Tell your friends, tell everybody, get the good seats. There are fees involved in this. That's not on Shane. That is. I just looked the service fees and the extra fees on this show. Just to let you know, wear a cup when you hit buy because you're getting kicked in the nuts. I these fees are getting ridiculous. But it's a one time only special event. They're taking their cut. I'm telling you that it is a kick in the balls. The one tickets that was like $85 for a ticket per ticket. That's just the fees. I didn't even see what the final number was. I'm like, dang, bam, they're knocking you around. So just be prepared. I picked some good seats to take a look to see what it would cost. It's. It's up there but it starts at 10 o' clock. So you can start hopping on that deal. And hopefully you could sell a Ford Tempo and get one ticket probably.

[Brady]

I'm guessing no way.

[Brett]

By the way, our funniest listener, Scott Haynes has nicknamed Brady the Wolf of wall to wall carpeting. They used to go crazy at the parties at the carpet store snorting cool Cheeto dust off cardboard cutouts of Clara Pe. The Wolf of wall to wall carpeting needs to be a movie with Brady and the Tempos. That's great. Anyway, so the Gillis tickets are going on sale. We'll keep you moving around on that. By the way, Brett's here with us today because of Toledo situation. So he's helping out with all the computer work that Toledo normally does. He's doing a job of two people, which means he can't be out in the van this morning. But that doesn't mean it's not out there. And we're collecting. We have hit our mark, I'll tell you that. They're going to do a big celebration next week at the Phoenix Rescue Mission and do a big media blast of how many bottles were actually raised. Operation Hydration goes on this and next week Brett's not out there. But who's out there again?

[John Holmberg]

Braden.

[Brett]

That's right, Guy. Braden and new fella are out there this morning. Dysart and Indian school. Head on out there. And in honor of Toledo's family situation. You know what? This would be a nice thing to do. Just a little. This is. This is what. This is what she would have wanted. I'll say that. Drop it off and make Toledo's. Toledo's situation better. I think it's just a nice little way to say thank you to the whole operation and summer and everything else. So any excuse you've got to make it a good deal that you can help us out, you'd be helping us a lot today because there's a lot going on in this building, that is for sure. Braden's got mud vein and a day to remember. You can go out there, say hi to him, drop off your envelopes. Braden will do the shopping just like Brett normally does. If he was out there this morning. That is Operation Hydration Dysart, an Indian school at Albertson. So thank you for heading out there and helping us out. Even though you don't know who Braden and the new guy are, they're still a part of the team. And we need to go say hi to them and be nice. It is time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Reporting is brought to you by our friends at All Pro Shade. AllProChade.com get some shade in that backyard or front yard or side yard, wherever you need it. A lot of people have those shades now on the side for like an RV and stuff like that. You can do that too.

[Brady]

Yeah, the canopy.

[Brett]

Yeah, little canopies. It's a nice thing. They'll take care of you. If you've got an idea, they'll come out and give you a free estimate and take a look at your idea and then maybe even make it better. Or just say, hey, brilliant plan. You get a job, next thing you know you're doing plans for them as well. Who knows what can happen? But I do know you'll have shade and that temperature is going to drop at least 10 degrees and probably up to 20 blocks out. All those UV rays. Get it professionally done by the people doing it for over 20 years. All prochet.com Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Thursday morning to Phoenix.

[Brett]

Hello, world.

[Brady]

Happy National Senior Citizen Day and National Hazy IPA Day.

[Brett]

Oh, I like that. I do too. I don't care so much for the senior citizen thing, but.

[Brady]

No, go have a pint with an old person.

[Brett]

No, just hear about how and then you got to hear racist stuff all day. It's like going out with Brett. I don't want to do it. Get a couple IPAs and Brett, and the next thing you know, we're laughing at diseases that have funny names and dinosaurs that shouldn't be called that.

[Brady]

Couple of basis fun facts on Saturn. There's an enormous spinning hexagon in the clouds at its north pole, which is about twice the size of Earth. It's a continuous vortex similar to a hurricane that's about 50 times larger than a typical Earth hurricane. Scientist refers to it as the belly button of Saturn.

[Brett]

Saturn? But isn't Saturn's, like, monstrously big? Yeah, so it would make sense if they have bigger storms.

[Brady]

The shortest English word with all five vowels is yonoya, which is six letters long. It means beautiful thinking or positive mental state.

[Brett]

O, E, I, and an A.

[Brady]

It's E, U, N, O, I, N.

[Brett]

Hey, got them all. How about that?

[Brady]

Ladybugs are called ladybirds in England.

[Brett]

That's dumb.

[John Holmberg]

In Thailand, they're lady boys.

[Brian Posein]

Nice job, Br.

[Brett]

Lady birds and lady boys.

[Brady]

The average cloud weighs 1.1 million pounds. But the weight is distributed across such a big space, it still floats.

[Brett]

Wait a minute. One of those fluffy clouds is a million pounds? You're talking about those big storm clouds, not these cumulus wispy things? No way. Wouldn't planes match the average?

[John Holmberg]

All right, how does a plane go through them?

[Brett]

Yeah, I know they're distributed over space, but that means they're not a million pounds.

[Brady]

Unless you're the amount of, you know, water accumulated in that for sure.

[Brett]

That's a. That's a storm cloud. Yeah, not a wispy cumulus. Those fluffy, beautiful clouds probably weigh much as a feather, for crying out loud. There's no. There's moisture, but according to a report.

[Brady]

The average American says the perfect salary is billion dollars. I'll give you three A, 55,000. B, 74,000. C, 215,000.

[Brett]

The average American says the perfect salary amount, and they're going to shoot low.

[Brady]

74,000.

[Brett]

That's stupid. That's. They confuse the question, what's the average salary versus the perfect salary? Perfect salary? There isn't one.

[John Holmberg]

It's unlimited.

[Brett]

Unlimited. That number never stops. That's my perfect salary.

[Brady]

It's unclear why the perfect amount isn't higher, especially with low, expensive everything. Right now, it's possible they're just asking for the sweet spot where they'd be able to make ends meet.

[Brett]

They got confused at the question and thought, what's what? Would be a. What's a good salary that gets you by. And everybody's, I don't know, like 75.

[Brady]

19% of people said they need to make at least 100k. And about half of the employed Americans say they should be making more to support their lifestyle.

[Brett]

That's worker be brain to me.

[Brady]

Me.

[Brett]

Yep, that's worker beast that'll sit and go, I need at least this amount. And they, they limit themselves and they're thinking, look, if a jackass like me can do okay, everybody can. It's just a matter of your brain stopping you thinking, I only make this amount. And you can be satisfied with the amount you make. But don't lowball. We had a guy who worked here, told me one time, he goes, one of these days I'm going to be making 100k. I'm like, why shoot so low? What do you mean? I'm like, yeah, that's a good amount of money. But why are you limiting yourself? One of these days I'm going to make an inordinate amount of money. You can't even imagine is the answer to all of that. Dream big.

[Brady]

America's obesity crisis extends beyond humans.

[Brett]

I know what you're going to say.

[Brady]

I saw the Studies suggest around 60% of dogs and cats nationwide are overweight.

[Brett]

They look like they're owners.

[Brady]

So we're about two or three years away from puppy and kitty. Ozempic dogs.

[Brett]

Empic. Yeah, because fat, lazy people don't walk their dogs. So their dogs get fat and lazy and they throw burger chunks at them and everything that falls off their big fat chests and tummies rolls to the ground. Their dogs eat it.

[Brady]

But they're also saying, you know, vet bills have gone through the roof because.

[Brett]

Because of you, though. Not you, but you know what I mean.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you're feeding them Cheetos and Doritos and everything.

[Brett]

Your dog is fat, overweight, and needs veterinary care because of it. It isn't because the vet bills are so high is why. That's because bad dogs want to run. Dogs want to play. If you don't do it, they love to lay down, too.

[Dale Hellestra]

Hberg's morning sickness.

[Brett]

And also you're in control of everything they eat. Limit that. Ever see how much you're supposed to feed a dog? Dog? Yeah, it's not. It's nothing like a half a cup in the morning and a half a cup at night and that's it. And if you work them, you give them treats during the day and stuff, like people are handing over pizza Slices and burgers and it wasn't that long ago.

[Brady]

I mean, I. You know, you think about when humans even said, let's have three meals a day, breakfast, lunch and dinner. You know, like in most cases the. You think about like other animals, like a snake or reptile eat a rabbit or whatever. Nothing for two weeks.

[Brett]

Well, that's. Their digestive systems slow up a little bit. Well, it's. If they get food, it's designed to last for a long time. We pass through a lot of it, but yeah, we don't need to eat as much as we do.

[John Holmberg]

Remember when the claim jumper was there by the old station? Oh, Jesus.

[Brett]

I didn't go there ever after the first time because I'm like, I'll never need this much food in my life. This. They overdid everything. Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely.

[Brett]

They brought that salad out for me and I thought it was for the whole table. I'm like, oh. I even said it to the waitress. I wasn't kidding. I'm like, oh, this is for everybody. No, that's your starter. Yeah, like this is all I'm gonna need for the rest of the week.

[Brady]

Thomas Allen McCartney is 37 years old. He's classified as a Tier 3 offender. Is considered to be one of Louisiana's worst child predators. McCartney has agreed to to be both physically and chemically castrated.

[Brett]

Cool.

[Brady]

As part of a plea deal in order to reduce his prison sentence. Although he'll still spend 40 years in prison because of his last bit of trying to. Well, sexual abusing a seven year old.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I just kill him.

[Brett]

Yeah, just kill him.

[John Holmberg]

You're done.

[Brett]

Well, you're just gonna have a lunatic without any balls rubbing up against kids. Now that doesn't make it better. It's his brain that's the problem. Problem.

[Brady]

Yeah, but I don't know if that. If that drives gone from the castration.

[Brett]

We should go Brady's grandpa on this. Yeah, I was just gonna scramble some lobotomize that. Yeah. His brain's the problem.

[Brady]

Well, don't you think. I mean again, if that drives taken out.

[Brett]

No.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Brett]

Damages starts in your brain. Yeah, your brain. Yeah, yeah. It's your mentality to want to be with kids. When you castrate you, you're not going to have as much of. But it's not about a sex drive to want to bang kids. Kids. It's about a power thing. It's about abuse. It has nothing to do with. Golly, I'm horny.

[Brady]

I thought that goes away for some.

[Brett]

Reason, but evidently you're confusing it with a sexual act, which it is not. Yeah, initially. You know, dealing with kids is a mental disorder. First and misplaced sexual thoughts, which wouldn't go away.

[Brady]

So he'd still have those thoughts. But you're like, hey, he's okay. He can't do anything.

[Brett]

Yeah. You basically cut the arms off of a guy who used to punch a lot.

[Brady]

He's like the bumble.

[Brett]

Yeah, he'll figure something out. Yeah. You know what he can still do diddle kids. He just can't use his balls and wiener to do it anymore.

[Brady]

The pumpkin spice latte hits Starbucks next Tuesday, August 26th.

[Brett]

Like women diddle kids too, you know, nothing to cut off. It's mental.

[Brady]

That rolls out next Tuesday. That's four days later than last year. The 22nd was the earliest they'd ever brought it back. New report from Instacart cart found that pumpkin spice season really is getting earlier and earlier. They looked at sales of pumpkin spice products over the past four years and no one buys them from February through July. But then the sales skyrocket. The peak of pumpkin spice season is usually late September.

[John Holmberg]

That's every year.

[Brady]

I mean every now it's creeping to mid month.

[Brett]

It's ridiculous. Ridiculous.

[John Holmberg]

Like there's Halloween stuff already out. Like the beginning of August. It was at Home Depot.

[Brett]

Like, Jesus, it's. We're three months.

[Brady]

Halloween was like three weeks ago.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

They start getting that stuff together for lunacy and it's just a spending spree.

[Brady]

West Virginia is, is more obsessed with pumpkin spice products than any other state.

[Brett]

Because they hear the word spice, they think it's a synthetic weed.

[Brady]

Yeah. Pennsylvania is distant second. Then Oklahoma, Ohio and Delaware. Nowhere folks in Hawaii are the least likely to think pumpkin spice.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Because they're.

[Brady]

It's gross.

[Brett]

Like coconut. It is gross. Yeah, they like coconut stuff. I don't know how people drink it here now because it's hot. And the last thing I want is the flavor of fall in my gut ever. Let alone in 111 year degrees.

[Brady]

Maybe they hope it just takes you to the fall, which.

[Brett]

Then you're also an idiot. It does not take you away. It's still 111.

[John Holmberg]

We were at Four Peaks a couple weeks ago and they already had the pumpkin spice. I mean they.

[Brett]

Yeah, they just keep the beers flowing whenever they've got 400 of them. So they gotta just fill the tanks.

[Brady]

But still Instacart released another some more data on pickle orders across the country and the states that have the highest rate of pickle order The Dakotas, north and South Dakota people just love pickles. Generally, though, the pickles seem to be the most popular in the middle of the country.

[Brett]

This is a story straight from a guy who owns a Ford Tempo. Does this have a better ending than what you just said? Because I'm going to hit you with. I'm going to hit you with the Tempo if this story is all you've got.

[Brady]

There's only. Only one person out of a million that knows that pickles come from cucumbers.

[Brett]

That was Dale Hell Astray Brady with your pickle news. And who likes them. Could have deleted that one, I think.

[John Holmberg]

Riveting.

[Brett]

Yeah. That's a dude who. Who walked onto the lot and said, show me the brand new Tempos.

[Brady]

There's a school district in Indiana that was forced to cancel school on Tuesday, just the fifth day of the school year. Year because there are no school buses. The catalytic converters from around 20 buses.

[Brett]

Were stolen overnight in southern Indiana.

[Brady]

Yep. The Scott county doesn't say that.

[Brett]

Does it have the city?

[Brady]

Nope.

[Brett]

The lower end of Indiana and all of Indiana's back. The lower southern end of Indiana is like running away with the statistics on meth heads.

[Brady]

The jackpot there. 20.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

The district say if the police didn't say if the police had any leads. No word if there's arrests yet.

[Brett]

I tell you why. Everyone in the city's a suspect and the police are probably all unmet. The cops might have done it. Southern Indiana, Cincinnati, Ohio area. And that Kentucky. That region down there. Burn it down. It's done. And start with the Bengals in two weeks because yuck to them and their horrible outfits. Then you can just burn all of Cincinnati down. Save the KRP Bill. Yeah. Yeah. There was an episode of that. And then. Yeah, and then get rid of my home state too. And just burn it all the way. Just burn everything around Indianapolis up to Oprah's house up in northwestern Indiana. Just torch it. Start over. Indiana's a failure. Sorry, Brady. Most of Ohio, failure. West Virginia, failure. Mississippi failure. We can start over. Why can't we just admit it and start over? It's time we got rid of Indiana. I think. Think it's a good. There's a couple of pockets. But down there in that county by Kentucky. Kentucky is bled into Indiana. And it's. Gary is awful as well. Got to be careful in Gary.

[John Holmberg]

Save the Jackson house. That's about it.

[Brett]

Got to save the Jacksons. And I believe Diana rusted some stuff up there to keep that. But we can do like we did Dodger Stadium and just forklift it to a better place. Yeah, Indiana's awful. Cincinnati and Kentucky bled into my home state. And Indiana's like they were right and they just turned into extreme meth heads. The whole I told you that story. That guy used to know, moved to that area is right on that. Lexington, Cincinnati and Indiana, kind of Covington, wherever that area is. But he was putting together a barn. He bought the house, his dad's house, and he had a mobile air conditioner. He said it was like £380. And he's outside and he's working. He said. This guy starts walking towards him. He was an Olympic. Was it karate? He did Olympic karate. Broke his ankle right before the trials in Colorado. So he was on the Olympic team, but he never got to compete. So he knows his stuff. And this dude comes walking up to him. He's like, we got trouble walking at me. He said, zombie picks the air conditioner up £380. Gets it over his head like he's gonna throw it at him. And he's like, I've never seen anything like it. He goes, I can fight. He goes. My first reaction was, get the F out of here. This dude feels nothing. Picked up a 380 pound AC thing and lifted it over his head and started to wobble. Like I'm gonna chuck it at this. His name was Scott. He called me immediately and he's like, I don't see.

[Brady]

The guy's eyes were just.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. He said his whole. He was zombie. Nobody was home. Didn't know what he was throwing it at. Didn't know if I was there at all. Didn't matter. Crazy.

[Brady]

I got a couple of radio videos.

[John Holmberg]

Two, right?

[Brady]

Yeah, just two.

[Brett]

They're coming off of your thing. Yeah.

[Brady]

First one's agenda reveal gone wrong.

[Brett]

Nice small fire smoke bombs. It's purple. Oh, boy. One of the dudes has lost control. That's pink. Okay, I guess you're right. Oh, my God. It's flammable. He just lit the mother on fire. Oh, my God. God. Oh my God. And they made it like a Michael Bay movie. He's spinning around with the stuff that's releasing the pink spray. And he hits the mom in the face with it.

[Brady]

The last one is just for Brett.

[Brett]

Okay. It's.

[Brady]

It's Ms. Ms. Italy, just recently crowned.

[Brett]

Man, they got some prestance there. Miss Italy. The winner and the runner up are both in here. She lifted her arms, arm up really quickly. Wow. Now she's gonna walk down the catwalk and Give us a championship. Miss Italy. Walk in lingerie.

[Dale Hellestra]

This is.

[Brett]

She's got a swimsuit cover on, I guess. She's stunning. Curved in all the right places. A little thicker as she gets closer than I'd like. Still looks pretty good.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Miss Italia. And off she goes. Come on. He'll bust that ankle. What am I waiting for here?

[Brady]

Nothing.

[Brett]

She kisses. Oh, okay.

[Brady]

Beautiful thing.

[Brett]

It's a success video.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah.

[Brett]

She kissed the runner up. Yeah. Who later murdered her.

[Brady]

Yep.

[Brett]

Miss Italy.

[John Holmberg]

Nice.

[Brett]

Little thick. Yeah. But not in a gross way. No, very nice. And she's gonna. That's how they do their pageants in Italy. I guess I've some hot outfits.

[John Holmberg]

We need to learn something from them.

[Brett]

Our chicks are in 1930s evening gowns. Look like they're all going to a quinceane era. When do we have the crowning in that outfit? Crowning right now.

[John Holmberg]

Now these were kind of. They just sent them over because I'm usually not here on Thursday. So it was. These were emergency pickups.

[Brett]

Okay. So these are from the bin.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

They're going to be great.

[John Holmberg]

So we'll start with this one.

[Brett]

Oh, there's a guy from India and he's leaning over. No. He's putting a raw egg in a pile of feces of an animal. And it looks like he's mixing up the egg in the feces and he's eating it. Oh, my God. God. It's like cow or horse poop. Yeah. And he's put a raw egg. Is there sound on this? Because he's doing that little Indian head bobble. I can. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That is fresh. Brady. That is wildly racist.

[Brady]

That was the head bob.

[Brett]

No, no, that was you saying double deel. Double deel. That was the race. I'm not gonna stop laughing at that.

[Dale Hellestra]

Because Brady described his head as double dble.

[Brett]

Double.

[John Holmberg]

They sent this one.

[Brett]

That's what their heads do.

[John Holmberg]

They sent this one over for Brady.

[Brett]

Oh, God. Something's wrong with this lady. She's Chernobyl. Her face is Chernobyl, but her body is a 10.

[Brady]

That's Ms. Chernobyl.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brian Posein]

That body.

[Brett]

She looks like the thing that came out of the tummy in Alien, except for she's done Heidi Klum's cans. Oh, my God. It's Chaka Paani. And Heidi Plume had a baby.

[John Holmberg]

Look at that five head.

[Brett]

It's. That is. I don't even know what that is. Oh, she's. When she turns to the side, she looks like the logo for Indian motorcycles. She's Got that weird hair just sticking all the way up.

[Brady]

Eddie from.

[Brett]

She's got a little of that, but her body is outstanding.

[John Holmberg]

This one may go too far.

[Brett]

Oh, all right. Okay, this is. What are we doing?

[Brady]

A yolk.

[Brett]

And an Asian lady poured a raw egg in a frog's belly. Let's get the frog in a thing of like some sort of Asian leaf. And now she's mixing beets and rice with her hands because that's why you don't eat. And then she takes another frog, picks that up, smiles at it, stuffs a bottle in it, and starts to feed it rice and beets. And evidently, it's gonna blow the. I bet you this blows the frog up.

[Brady]

Nope, it's a dead frog.

[Brett]

What's it doing? Oh, it is? Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah, exactly. Are you sure?

[Brady]

Yep.

[Brian Posein]

Why do you.

[Brett]

Oh, she's gonna cook it. She's. She's filling them with beets and rice in their tummies maybe. Okay. Jesus, Brett, what is gonna happen in this thing? No sound on this one. No. Oh, for crying out loud. Now she's rolling a leaf up. Yeah, yeah, she's leaf. She's putting a leaf. And then she's got him in a hot wok. Opens it up. The frogs are inside these little banana leaves. She likes the smell. The frog is out now. Filled with beets.

[Brady]

Here we go.

[Brett]

And rice. And now the frogs are on a platter because they've been cooked whole. This is going too far. So far, they're. She's basting them. Some sort of face. That's right. Brady, calm down. This is not good. And then she just starts eating it right out of the. Oh, she's just devouring it with her. Her face.

[Brady]

Kermit, it is.

[Brian Posein]

It's Asians eating.

[Brett]

It's Asian. Dean.

[Brady]

He'S getting lunch.

[Brett]

That's right. You can't watch Asians eating. Last time this happened, it was an Asian woman eating fly paper. It's Asian ziti. Reading that.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, I told you that one may be too far.

[Brady]

Look at the gut pile on that. John, go back.

[Brett]

Let's.

[Brady]

Let's see that again. Brett.

[Brett]

Oh, my God. When they eat, I get sick. It's what they eat and how much they enjoy it. Oh, my God. All right, we'll. We'll light. I didn't expect that.

[John Holmberg]

No. There. We'll lighten it up a little. Well, not really.

[Brett]

Oh, my God. Two 600 pound women eating birthday cake naked. I think this is Katie. KB party is what it looks like to me. It's Two lesbians enjoying cake and cake says, who's the biggest pig? Well, the one on the right's the biggest pig. I mean, the one on the left is £400. The one on the right, 600. And they're covered in cake.

[Brady]

Is that drool going down the belly?

[Brett]

Yeah, well, that's the.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's all it could be.

[Brady]

Like open heart.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's all it could be. It's. It's frosting that she's mixed with her spit, and it's running down her chest. It looks like something else, but. No. No man in their right mind would leave a batch of that.

[John Holmberg]

There's only one reason I should.

[Brett]

Holy smokes. How come I can watch them? I know.

[Brady]

I almost got the.

[John Holmberg]

Here's an entertaining one for you.

[Brett]

Asian lady eating.

[Dale Hellestra]

That frog threw me.

[Brett]

Oh, my God. It's 1, 2, 3, 4, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 beautiful women all on their hands and knees in a human centipede form, chowing down on the one in front of them. The only one not enjoying anyone else's genitals is the front of the head. And the only one not getting enjoyed.

[John Holmberg]

They're not bad.

[Brett]

They're all beautiful.

[Dale Hellestra]

Oh, that's.

[Brett]

That's something. That's heroic right there.

[John Holmberg]

I had to make up for the frog one.

[Brett]

Oh, my God. That's American, I hope, right?

[John Holmberg]

If not, I'm going there.

[Brett]

Wherever this country is, they're leading. What a wonderful thing this is.

[Brady]

That's a pool party.

[Brett]

That is unbelievable that. That made me proud to be a human. Who's the genius that put that together? Ladies, I got an idea. I drew it up here on the storyboard. Take a look.

[Brady]

I believe it. The lady that ate the frog.

[Brett]

No, don't.

[John Holmberg]

No, this is for you. This is for your pool play.

[Brett]

Why you gotta ruin it, Brady? Oh, sex during pool. These ladies are all shooting pool. Oh, I didn't see what was on the pool table. It's the guy just with his legs spread. He's taking him in the nuts. And she's just firing pool balls. They're just throwing pool balls at this naked guy whose legs are spread open. Well, these girls. This is not what's happening when I play pool at all. Although I will say similar result in that none of the balls are going in any holes. My God.

[John Holmberg]

All right, and then we'll end with this one lady getting two.

[Brett]

Two. Oh, my God. All right, here's the. The lady walking over to some sort of contraption. I believe she's Asian. Am I Wrong.

[John Holmberg]

This would be. This is. Mike. Mike. Our. All right. This over? Yeah.

[Brett]

Jesus. Okay. She's whipping herself with the inside of a computer. I don't know what.

[Dale Hellestra]

The ribbon.

[John Holmberg]

The ribbon that's in there.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. Like a few moments later. All right. SpongeBob involved now. She's digging more stuff out of the computer itself. Some sort of chips. She's got RAM chips. Oh, she's putting computer chips and boards into her genitals. And it. This thing looks. Oh my God. Oh, she's pushing it in and out without her hands. Oh my God. Oh, sweet Jesus. Oh, the music is oddly fitting.

[John Holmberg]

There's a sound card.

[Brett]

Is this going on in Silicon Valley? Oh, it's got to be slicing her up.

[Dale Hellestra]

This is like.

[Brett]

You ever touch one of those things. They're all sharp on the corner. Yeah, we need her down. I'm tired of looking at Mike. Does he do that? Is that how you make those things work?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brady]

The computer seems to be glitching.

[Brett]

Was she putting those in there cuz she thought that she'd be better at math. When it was all over, she just had some more RAM and memory.

[John Holmberg]

She couldn't figure out how to control alt delete.

[Brett]

So I built myself into robot. Wow. I do not think that was where you plug. I tried to build a computer once and there were several times I put that in the wrong slot. But not that bad. Oof. Thank you. All right, it's 8. 23. We'll let you know again about Braden and the new guy out there at Dysart and Indian school. They're out there for operation Hydration at Albertsons. We can eat some more water out there and get some mud vein tickets a day to remember. You can sign up for lot a whole that score yourself some KUPD stuff and drop off to push us over the 1 million bottle mark for the summer of 2025. Outstanding work. And the guys out there helping out. Hopefully unleashing on them and getting that. Filling that truck up as best as possible. Even though Brett couldn't be out there this morning. Brian Posayn is going to be with us in just a little bit. We'll talk to him. Next. It's 98 KUPD. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.

[Dale Hellestra]

Morning sickness.

[Brett]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude 98.

[Dale Hellestra]

Sitting.

[Brett]

In a room with Uncle Grandpa, for God's sakes. And fans of that would know that's a pretty awesome thing. Brian Posayn is here. Stand Up Live. Just tonight?

[Brian Posein]

Yeah, just one show. Why one and done? I don't know. They asked me and I said, sure. Stuff this. Yeah, I'm going to Minneapolis, so.

[Brett]

Yeah, you're going to Minneapolis after tonight.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah. So 109 to 75. Who's doing your booking?

[Brett]

Can I get it? I can help you with this. That's not a. That's not a fun weekend. But yeah, tonight only. And this is a present. Like, you are not a guy who comes by and does one night.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah. Here at Stand Up Live. I did one last year and it was super fun.

[Brett]

Yeah. Do it again. Keep doing it. Brian will be here tonight. Standuplive.com if you want to go. Stand Up Live. Live downtown is where you want to go. You were talking to us off the air about how you were on the world's worst cook celebrity, terrible worst chef.

[Brian Posein]

Celebrity version. Yeah, but. And I always do finger quotes when I say celebrity version.

[Brett]

No, it. You. You have the weirdest celebrity.

[Brian Posein]

I would never call myself that.

[Brett]

Well, this is. Maybe I'm not your PR guy. I'm not your PR guy, but your celebrity is unique to the fact that if you have such. There's nobody who comes up to you and says, you look a lot like Brian Pose. You are the guy.

[Dale Hellestra]

Always.

[Brian Posein]

I'd be surprised. I actually do get that. Where people are not sure. And I'm like, come on, man.

[Brett]

Who else is going for this?

[Brady]

I need you to say something.

[Brian Posein]

And then I travel the country and I do see guys that look like me. So there are.

[Brett]

But you're very Bastards going on.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I feel bad when people say that about me. Oh, that guy looks like you. I'm like, oh, he should kill himself. Yeah, but you have that strange thing where if you were more famous, it would be annoying because there's no mistaking.

[Brian Posein]

Right.

[Brett]

That that's you. You couldn't go anywhere.

[Brian Posein]

Oh, it can still be annoying.

[Brett]

I'm sure of it. Like, what is. Like when you get attacked.

[Brian Posein]

Disneyland, Vegas, places like that.

[Dale Hellestra]

Where.

[Brian Posein]

Where tourists are.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brian Posein]

Because now they're in. They're in tourist mode and they're looking for fun things. And so then they go, oh, I'm. I'm a Pokemon. Suddenly they found you guys there.

[Brady]

Scavenger hunt.

[Brett]

What if over the. You've been doing this for a while? A while now. How long you're a Mr. Show, for God's sakes. Which, by the way, thank you.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah, I've been working. Thank you.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah.

[Brian Posein]

That's still one of my favorite things. It is.

[Brett]

It is the pinnacle of comedic, like HBO's Best Work. It never gets the credit it deserves.

[Brian Posein]

And the reason I still work, like, people still, there's writers that still loved Mr. Show that, you know, seek me out because I did that. So I owe those guys a lot.

[Brett]

Do you find it's because there's a fanboy aspect of Mr. Show that's so great if nobody knows what we're talking about? It still holds. Holds up, but, like, it's more of a writers and funny person's favorite thing, for sure. And the general public liked it, but they didn't like it enough.

[Brian Posein]

And surprisingly, bands really like that opened me up to every band tours. And in the 90s and 2000s, they were watching tapes and DVDs of Mr. Show on the buses and stuff. So I would find, you know, like, the band Train liked me and then so does the band, you know, Municipal Waste.

[Brett]

So it unites.

[Brian Posein]

Yes.

[Brady]

It's a broad spectrum.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brett]

Like some, you know, lighter rock and some heavy rock all unites over Mr. Show. But you've been at this for at least 30.

[Brian Posein]

I started stand up in the late 80s and I've been acting since, like, 93. Showing up in things.

[Brett]

So you have the experience to answer this question, which is teach the general public how to approach you in Vegas, in Disney, and what's the one thing they keep doing? You're like, if one more person does.

[Brian Posein]

This, you know, the bastard. When somebody comes up and goes, hey, Brian, that's it. Like, they know you, they know me, they know my name. And they go, hey, man, how's it going? Or, you know, they don't. And I don't mind taking pictures and all this. I don't mind any of it, actually. But there are some weird ones.

[Brett]

Don't touch me.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah, I don't. I don't like being touched.

[Brett]

Nobody does.

[Brian Posein]

No. And then there's certain bro touches where dudes, like, they're dominating me. I'm like, dude, I could flip you and then land on you if I wanted to.

[Brett]

Yeah. So just give some spare space is what we're saying. Bro touch.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah.

[Brett]

You see what I mean?

[Dale Hellestra]

Shoulder thing.

[Brian Posein]

You're just like, hey, hey, dude, it's a little bad in Vegas. And. Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah. Well, they're drunk, which is the worst. But that's what I'm saying. Like, Brady Is friends with Randy Johnson. And we got to know Randy Johnson. I'm sure he's a rock guy. So I'm sure you probably run into Randy here and there, right? He's a tall dude, no mistaking Randy Johnson. He can't get away with anything. And every. Even if you didn't watch baseball, you know, oh, that's that giant pitcher. You have that same thing where you're so identifiable that if you got any more famous, you'd have to just stay at home all the time. So you've hit. I. I think you're safe now. I think. Stay here. Right.

[Brian Posein]

Got the big bang spin off coming.

[Brett]

What are you doing to yourself, man? Stay off TV there. When I saw you in Mandalorian, like, that's the other thing. There's no hey, there's Brian Pose like you're on these shows. You're like, you popped up on the Mandalorian.

[Brian Posein]

That one surprised my friends. Even I couldn't talk about it because you have for Star wars projects and Marvel and that kind of stuff, you have to sign, like, non disclosure agreements and. And so I had to think, Yeah, I couldn't talk about it. I couldn't. My family knew.

[Brett]

Knew.

[Brian Posein]

My kid was the most excited I've ever seen him. And like, he got to go to the premiere and meet Jon Favreau and all that. But my friends are like, the. You know, the show premiered and they were like, what the hell, dude? Like, you didn't tell us.

[Brett]

It's. It's insane.

[Brian Posein]

I couldn't.

[Brett]

Were you on Better Call Saul? You didn't get in there.

[Brian Posein]

Never made it in on that one.

[Brett]

I wish, because Odenkirk's on there. Everybody seemed to pop up.

[Brian Posein]

I was thinking he was gonna throw me a bone. That bastard.

[Brett]

You should call him right now. Oh, sure, I'm sure. But not that close or you'd have been on Better Call. Sah, sure. Yeah, maybe. Maybe you're close.

[Brian Posein]

Not on that list, but yeah. Hey, buddy, have you seen nobody 2 list? But yeah.

[Brett]

Are you an idiot?

[Brian Posein]

No, but.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Brian Posein]

He asked me if I saw it. He sent me a text.

[Brett]

Oh, so we still want you to follow him. I get it. Oh, yeah, big time. Exactly. But the. What is the thing that you've been in that you're like, people aren't gonna believe I'm in this. Oh, because you've done a ton of stuff.

[Brian Posein]

I don't know.

[Brett]

Because every time they need somebody unique, you're the call.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah, I still, you know, pinch myself just being in Star wars universe. And I'm in a bad Marvel movie. I was in the second Fantastic Four. Oh, that. With that Team Silver Surfer one. Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

Well still you're in.

[Brian Posein]

But I met. I got to marry Reed and Sue and you know, it's a cool. And I got to meet Stan Lee. He was on the set shooting his moment.

[Brett]

Oh, wow.

[Brian Posein]

So that's still one of the nerdiest that long ago.

[Brett]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Posein]

That's still one of the coolest things I got to do. We were in Vancouver and.

[Brady]

And you were there for his little cameo deal.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah. I forget.

[Brett]

While he was shooting.

[Brian Posein]

I think it was in the same scene I was in. Maybe he's at the wedding. I don't remember. But I'd have to rewatch that movie. I haven't seen any.

[Brett]

I unintentionally told Chris Evans that that movie was terrible. And I didn't realize that at the time because I only sat the first one. I didn't even. Norm MacDonald. Norm MacDonald was here and he was talking about it and I remember. Oh, that was awful. And it just kind of crossed my. Oh yeah, he's in that idiot. So. Yeah, but. But it doesn't matter. Not all movies are great, but you get to be. Yeah, that's.

[Brian Posein]

I admit it. The ones I've done that aren't great.

[Brett]

Anything you're super proud of that nobody grabbed.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah, my independent thing. Uncle Nick, that still. Some people know it. It's a. It's like the anti Christmas movie. I played this guy who's divorced. Well, not divorced, but I'd have a girlfriend die. Really? Yeah, it's kind of depressing.

[Brett]

Sounds fun.

[Brian Posein]

And I go to. I go to my friend. I go to my brother's a wedding and he's just being a.

[Brett]

You know, a dick. Yeah, it's okay. Yeah, we'll cover it for you. You're good.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah, but it was. It's a. It's a cool movie.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Brian Posein]

And it's called Uncle Nick.

[Brett]

Uncle Nick.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah.

[Brett]

You're big on the uncle role.

[Brian Posein]

Sure. Yeah.

[Brett]

Uncle Grandpa. Yeah. Big burgers. Brian pose at Stand Up Live this weekend and you're a big rock guy tonight. Oh yeah, that's right.

[Brian Posein]

Wednesday.

[Brett]

This weekend that's happened. It is just going 7:30 and then he's leaving for Minneapolis. That actually probably a smart move because it is too hot. You were a big rock guy too. You're known for that. You're in all those documentaries. You're in the Mastodon videos and Ozzy. Were you at the last Show. I always wonder who when you were there.

[Brian Posein]

Oh, no. And then to lose him. My wife was like, they're going to do an LA show. Because I had said, no, I. I don't want to bore you with the whole story, but I got tickets through Geezer Butler, but it was too late. It was like three weeks out and I find out through my agent, that Geezer came through for me. We had tried like weeks before and hadn't heard anything. And so I just went, well, I guess I'm not going. And then I'm hearing about other guys, like, you know, Jim Norton was going, other comedians and metalheads and they did comedy shows over there. And I was like, that's what I should have done. I should have booked comedy to pay for my flight. And I just couldn't justify, like, not going with my family too. And I was like, I could. Yeah.

[Brett]

Now I wish I would have now.

[Brian Posein]

My cousin wanted to go. There were other metal buddies of mine that were like, let's go, let's do this.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brian Posein]

And I just blew it. And then I watched the whole thing at home.

[Brett]

Incredible.

[Brian Posein]

And then to lose him two weeks later, I was like, oh, there you go, Brian.

[Brett]

You learned the mama, I'm coming home.

[Brian Posein]

Of course, that crushed everybody.

[Brett]

Gut wrenching to watch it now. And even at the time when you realize it's probably the last time he's. Maybe the last time he's going to do this because he's fooled us before.

[Brian Posein]

Right.

[Brett]

But when you watch that again and he. It's not good.

[Brian Posein]

It was rough.

[Brett]

It was rough. But that almost adds to it at this point. Right? That's amazing.

[Brian Posein]

And I liked his solo set. Yeah, well, yeah, that was in the solo.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brian Posein]

And then I thought the solo set was better than the Sabbath.

[Brett]

Same. Yeah, yeah. The Sabbath stuff was almost like, okay, going through the motions.

[Brian Posein]

Right. He was tired by that.

[Brett]

Yeah, he was beat.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

It's such a weird one.

[Brian Posein]

You could tell he kind of wanted to get up out of the seat, you know, I felt bad for him, but it was still, I'm glad he did. Did it for us, for everybody and for himself, you know, What a great ending. It is a cool thing to do. Like, if I'm ever sick to go, hey, I'm having a last comedy show and then blow it out, have all my friends stand up sets. And that would be a cool thing.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's those things that they, you know, bad artists paint that weird picture of, like when somebody dies and they put him in the clouds with all Their heroes. He got to do it here, and.

[Brian Posein]

I think everybody's gonna want to do this. I already heard that Aerosmith wants to do one like that.

[Brett]

Yeah, but.

[Brian Posein]

But.

[Brett]

But what do they have to.

[Dale Hellestra]

When do you.

[Brian Posein]

Well, Tyler's calling it quits, but he sounded great that day, so he was one of the ones that didn't, you know.

[Brett]

Amazing. Which. Which of the rock people that you were with that you were like, you mentioned Geezer Butler is getting tickets for you. Where in your mind you still go. I can't believe I'm friends with him.

[Brian Posein]

Dio, really? Dio came to my house. That had to just be the shadow thing. And I was Just walked right through the door. Yeah. He's standing in my kitchen holding one of my glasses. I'm just like, he's out of my pool. He's my.

[Brady]

Hey, Brian. This is good coffee.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brian Posein]

He's looking through my records. He's like, you should have more Dio. And I was like, oh, sorry. It was amazing. It was one of the most of.

[Brett]

My life when that happens, and then the. The shine wears off, and you have to go. You need to leave now, Ronnie. I did it with John Lovitz.

[Brian Posein]

Oh, really?

[Brett]

I was a John Lovitz. It didn't take long, Brian. Yeah, it was seconds.

[Brian Posein]

I'd let him use my bathroom, and I got, john, you should go.

[Brett]

Yeah, it was weird because I've. As a kid, kid, I. John Lovet was hilarious to me. I wanted around in school doing the impression of the lion, and the next thing you know, I'm having this moment where there he is with his dog in my house, and we're leaving, and I'm driving, and we're about to go, and he's like, I want to see your house. And I'm like, no, we're leaving. Yeah. Then he just left. He just walked around. He went in the backyard. He's. What? He. He owned it for a little bit. I'm like, all right, Lovett's, we got to go. And I'm like, I'm literally. My yard is bigger. No, he was mad. He was mad. You can put a tennis court back here. I can't do that. And, like, we need to go. And then I'm like, all right, Lovett. That's enough. And I got fed up with him, and I realized, oh, my God. Never meet your hero. But we did have fun. But you've had it with Dio. But how long did Dio stay?

[Brian Posein]

We shot a thing. He was there for a couple hours, and his Wife came by to check on him. Cause he'd been there for a while. They lived around the corner. The best part of my favorite part of the story is Vinnie Paul was there too, from Pantech. And we were shooting this segment, and Scotty and I had written this bit. It was for Rock and roll hall of fame kind of thing. A metal. Metal hall of fame thing. It was years ago. And they're in my driveway, and Vinnie Paul's talking, you know, And Scott I've known for years, but it's still weird that I'm friends with the dude in anthrax. Like, going back to high school. That's insane to me.

[Brett]

It messes you up.

[Brian Posein]

I liked anthrax in 1984.

[Brett]

It bonks you in the head every once in a while where you're standing.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah. So we're stand standing in my driveway, and Vinnie Paul goes to dio. Hey, doesn't Steve Vai live around here? And Dio's. Yes, yes, I think he does.

[Brett]

And I was just like, that's the.

[Brian Posein]

Weirdest, like, conversation that's ever had in my driveway.

[Brett]

What fever dream were you living in?

[Dale Hellestra]

That.

[Brett]

That's a thing.

[Brian Posein]

I love Steve Vai too.

[Brett]

Did you around the corner for me intentionally move into 90s 80s rock hall of Fame?

[Brian Posein]

Dave Grohl lives there too.

[Brett]

Get out of here.

[Brian Posein]

When I first moved in the neighborhood, I was walking my dogs. I've been there 16 years now. But first moved in, I had these two basset hounds at the time. I'm just walking them, and this guy pulls up and goes, there goes the neighborhood. And I look over and it's Grohl.

[Brett]

And he wrote a song about it. The sky is a neighborhood and you're falling. It's about you. Yeah, that's. That's weird. So you. You just popped into a neighborhood that happened to have Steve Vai?

[Brian Posein]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Dio and Dave Grohl in it?

[Brian Posein]

Well, in the Valley, you know, and they. You know, the Valley has history and stuff. It's like where they had shot Cobra Kai and all that. So it's. Yeah, it's cool.

[Brett]

The block party.

[Brian Posein]

Cool neighborhood to live in.

[Brett]

What's Halloween like over there?

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Awesome, right? Oh, my God. Imagine Brian Posein is at standup live tonight only. Standuplive.com is where you go, what about celebrities that you've met? You're like, this is really happening.

[Brian Posein]

The best one is De Niro.

[Dale Hellestra]

Oh, really?

[Brian Posein]

Yeah. De Niro walked by me at a premiere. I had, like, two seconds with him, but it's still one of the coolest.

[Brett]

Like, did he know you?

[Brian Posein]

He. I. He had seen the movie I was in.

[Brett]

Oh, no kidding.

[Brian Posein]

It was a screening for five year in Engagement.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Brian Posein]

Jason Siegel.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brian Posein]

And I love that movie, but no one saw it. It was like, pitched as a date movie, I think, and guys were just like, nope.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Posein]

And it wasn't just a date move. It's really funny and like, you know.

[Brett]

Great cast, five year engagements.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

I haven't heard of it.

[Brett]

Oh.

[Brian Posein]

Chris Pratt, myself, Chris Parnell.

[Brett]

It's loaded.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah, it's loaded with. With people and it's super funny. But he walks by. His wife walked by first and he was hidden by her. And then he walks by and then gives me a thumbs up. Nice job. And I was just like.

[Brett]

You're like, oh, my God.

[Brian Posein]

This is the coolest moment of my life.

[Brett]

You're good. Ah, you're good. And then he leaves. Like, that's all I need.

[Brian Posein]

I don't want to talk to him. What would I say to him?

[Brett]

Yeah, you're good too.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah, I blow it. Like, when I met Getty Lee, I. I met Giddy Lee and I called him sir twice in one sentence. He goes, sir, it is such a pleasure to meet you. I've loved you my whole life, sir. And I was just like, what an idiot. Alex Lifeson looks at me like, dude, shut up. Get it under control.

[Brett]

Have you blown it with a hero?

[Brian Posein]

That was it. That was when I feel like I blew it. Those guys probably never think about it. They never go, God, what?

[Brett]

It happens to them all the time.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah, I'm sure.

[Brett]

But did Geddy Lee and you ever reunite? No, that was it.

[Brian Posein]

Never wanted to see you again.

[Brady]

It was a fly by night thing.

[Brian Posein]

Nice.

[Brett]

Was it? Don't give him props for that. We're off the air for 10 minutes. A moment of silence.

[Brian Posein]

Classic record. I'll give it up for that.

[Brett]

It was good, but it was so funny. He's the king of them. Yeah.

[Brian Posein]

Dad jokes. I make dad jokes. And my son's like, that's a dad joke. And I'm like, yeah, but I'm good at it.

[Brett]

I do it professionally. He's right there with you. Brian Posted. Stand up live, please. Leave us with words of wisdom. Fix the world. Do something that. What would change if you were in charge of it it today?

[Brian Posein]

Oh, more metal.

[Brett]

More metal. You know, you're just. You won over the entire audience. More metal.

[Brian Posein]

That's American metal again.

[Brett]

And you. Oh, I want to talk about that. You said that off the air. You said you were going to be on a celebrity Wife swap and then you didn't.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Who are you swapping?

[Brian Posein]

I don't remember.

[Brett]

Oh, was it Feldman? That would have been the greatest nightmare if your wife would have killed him. Corey Feldman.

[Brian Posein]

Oh, no, no. Oh, he did the show.

[Brett]

Yeah, I watched that one.

[Brian Posein]

No, I don't remember. It was. It was a long time ago. Son was really little, and we were like, he probably won't be good on this because he was kind of.

[Dale Hellestra]

He was a little guy.

[Brian Posein]

And we were having some problems at that time keeping him under control. And we were like, I don't want to see some mom yelling at my kid on, you know, true. Just other things. We were like, this is weird.

[Brett]

But they didn't tell you. They probably did tell you and you just forgot. It wasn't an impressive.

[Brian Posein]

Well, they had won us over. And then we decided, oh, no, we don't want to do this. And then they. The producers got mad. They were like, well, we already scheduled you. And we're like, well, sorry, we're not doing it.

[Brett]

We're not letting you in. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. That would have been awesome. Because Celebrity Wife swap was the best bad idea in television history.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah, but you wouldn't want to be. You could watch it.

[Brett]

You like Barry Williams or something from the Brady Bunch. Get this. Because they'd have made you the metal head and swapped you out with, like, a Christian.

[Brian Posein]

Right. But I'm also kind of a boring guy at home.

[Brett]

You just sit around, do nothing. Which is what I would have loved to watch because it's just pious in their face. Right? Awesome. Brian, always good to see you, man. Pleasure. Tonight only, Stand Up Live. Go see the great Brian post saying it's 98kUpd. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.

[Dale Hellestra]

Morning sickness.

[Brett]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. All right, let's get right to this, shall we? Brian Posein is awesome. Great dude, and wonderful much to look at neither.

[Dale Hellestra]

Are you kidding? 60 year olds?

[Brett]

Here we go again with the male model known as Dale Hellistrate. Brian's at Stand Up Live tonight, Also letting you know that the. The code for Shane Gillis's show is starting in. He's a good one. You like Shane Gillis. He hosted the espies this year. Very funny. Guy, you didn't like it?

[Dale Hellestra]

I, I, I didn't watch, I don't watch this.

[Brett]

I don't either. But his stand, his, all the other stuff was good. He's funny. He's killing it right now. And now he's got that show tires. He's coming here. He's going to be here December 5th at Phoenix Arena. A lot of people emailing, saying the code isn't just live, it's SG live. Okay, here's the deal. It is that. I didn't, I didn't know that. But it's also live. They're trying to track how many KUPD listeners are there. So just use live. So it starts at 10. You can do the SG live if you want. I don't really care. But that's their way of tracking whether or not you got it from me or if it was through Gillis's site. So just go through us. Make us look like superstars. That would be nice. If not, we don't care. It doesn't, doesn't put any money in our pocket. It doesn't take any out. So it's just a credibility thing with the club. Thank you know, but they're just trying. They're making me sing for my supper. Coleman. That's how that works.

[Dale Hellestra]

Spent the last couple days up in Flagstaff. You did Gulf Pine Canyon.

[Brett]

Oh, you're just starting a conversation. I'm in the middle of something.

[Dale Hellestra]

No, you're done. You're begging. You're begging your listeners. Your listeners can't afford to buy.

[Brett]

Okay, you go to Shane Gillis. Why don't you shut your mouth? Not Sean Gillis. Shane Gillis.com. use the code live. You'll get the pre sale for the next 23 hours starting at 10. Sorry, Dale. I didn't mean to interrupt your story though. That's half through. My, the promotion for the thing we're doing just for me. There's no code that says Dale.

[Dale Hellestra]

No, there is.

[Brett]

Let me introduce you. Dumbass. Dale Hellestra, three time world champion of the Dallas Cowboys. And like I said, we did a podcast. We're going to start doing this podcast called that sports thing. We have no name for it. So it was like we kept calling it that during the thing. Like, well, that's just the name. It's you and me and an insane person named Dave Nash.

[Brian Posein]

Yes.

[Brett]

Trip Tripp Reeb heard me talking about that and he goes, come in here for a second. Oh, you go, I gotta ask you a question. I'm like, about the podcast. And he Goes, yes. And I'm like, what is it? And he goes, I gotta talk to you about the people you're hanging out with. And I'm like, what do you mean, Dale and Dave? I'm like, yeah, he's nuts. And I'm like, I know. That's the best part of it. It was like. And he kept. He kept doing the. What the are you thinking? I'm like, trust me, it's better than you thought. But it'll go out probably tomorrow. We'll get it out to everybod.

[Brady]

Know how?

[Brett]

I don't know how that works. That's where we're stymied on this deal is I don't know how to get it to anybody.

[Dale Hellestra]

Well, we're at the mercy of. Some people are smarter.

[Brett]

Exactly. But I said on the podcast, Dale, for all you young folks, and I mean young by like 40 and younger don't know that the Cowboys used to be in Super Bowls.

[Dale Hellestra]

No, they don't.

[Brett]

40 and younger is the. The cutoff to where you're like, for sure.

[Dale Hellestra]

It's been 30 years since they've been to an NSU champion, and you have.

[Brett]

To be 7 or 8 years old to kind of start remembering super bowl, right? No, it's right on the cusp of 40. A lot more years.

[Brady]

They call it America's team.

[Brian Posein]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

40 years. I think a lot of people are watching this Netflix thing, and I. I'm a knucklehead. I don't know how popular Netflix is and all that, but I figured this is gonna be a pretty big hit, a big deal.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

And I'm. I've gotten more texts over the last three or four days. Right. A little shot of me here, a little shot of me there. Oh, this is. It's a great document.

[Brett]

That's what I'm hearing. It's really good. How many times can Jerry Jones tell this story well, without feeling like it's just really sad?

[Dale Hellestra]

I. I watched the first three episodes.

[Brett]

Of the Netflix doc.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah. And you're. You're going to hear some stuff that you never heard before.

[Brett]

Why? How?

[Dale Hellestra]

Well, because I don't think Jimmy and Jerry ever came out and told everybody how much they hate each.

[Brett]

The espn. Well, maybe not that openly, but they didn't. In the last ESPN thing I saw, when they were basically saying they didn't say I hate him, but it was. No, we definitely had a falling out. There's a, you know, there's just a different philosophy. And it was time for me to go.

[Dale Hellestra]

And what's fascinating for me is a lot of that stuff I forgot about.

[Brett]

Oh, really?

[Dale Hellestra]

Like, there's like, this guy's writing a book about Troy. So he called we. He interviewed me for about an hour, and he brought up some stories that I'm like, oh, yeah, Michael Urban stabbed that guy.

[Brett]

Yeah. That's when you. I love.

[Dale Hellestra]

I forgot about that. And, you know, hey, when this happened, I'm like, oh, my gosh, I forgot about that.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

And I'm. Because I'm like. I said, episode three. It's the second after we win the first super bowl, we're going back for a repeat. And it held out for the first two games. I thought the first game was against the Buffalo Bills, but that was the second game.

[Brett]

It was.

[Dale Hellestra]

And so the Bears was the first game. Redskins.

[Brett]

Oh, it was the Redskins. A lot of people don't remember that. That was a team also.

[Dale Hellestra]

Ye. Yes, yes. And so I. I look at it. I'm like, it's gonna be kind of interesting for me to see some of these things.

[Brett]

Now you're in it.

[Dale Hellestra]

And there people are sending me screenshots.

[Brett]

Of picking me out, number 70, standing in the back.

[Dale Hellestra]

Oh, no, they're.

[Brett]

The camera's panning by.

[Dale Hellestra]

You gotta be a quick pause.

[Brett]

And a lot of it is blurry because it's moving so fast away from it.

[Dale Hellestra]

But what I'm. What I'm a little concerned about is they haven't got. Gotten into our troubled years. The first two years were just happy, happy. The Dion years, White House years, the Switzer, Switzerland.

[Brett]

So you're still. So the first three episodes are Jerry.

[Dale Hellestra]

Jimmy, and basically the first two years.

[Brett]

So the first one's Jerry by. And the team probably background on Jerry.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yes.

[Brett]

See, now I know almost all of this. So I like. To me, it's. This is. And again, if I. As a Steeler fan. And we've got some glory day.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I don't want to watch documentaries.

[Dale Hellestra]

You don't. You wouldn't want to see a documentary on the 70s.

[Brett]

I've seen it. And then we've had success since the Cowboys haven't. That's what I mean. I would. I would be miserable if we were still telling that story and the people are still in play. Like, you know, if it's a different group and, you know, I mean, if we could dig up Art Rooney, the old guy, the old man not Jewish junior today, and Dan Rooney and hear theirs, like, where they were when that was going. And that's interesting. But it's the same dude. It's the Jerry was there for this, and he's still there. Let's talk about that.

[Dale Hellestra]

Well, I think you find out stuff like how Jerry hit one gusher, and that's how he was able to buy.

[Brett]

The Cowboys an accident. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

You know, and how this happened because of that. And again, what I've always tried to tell people. Because people are pissed at Jerry Jones from the day he fired Tom Landry. So the Cowboys sucked.

[Brett]

Well, they weren't. But it would. But think of it in perspective, Dale. They hadn't been to an NFC championship game in six years when they fired Tom Landry.

[Dale Hellestra]

Right. But they were. But they were. But they were 3 and 13 is last year. They're like 4 and 12. The year before that, they had one marketable guy.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

In Herschel Walker.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

And it was going to be downhill. And Tom Landry. 72 years.

[Brett]

When it was Tech Shrimp.

[Brady]

His run.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah.

[Brett]

It was Tech Shram. Tom Landry. They weren't going anywhere. And you got to give it to a team, especially back then, to say he leaves. When he says he's leaving, you can.

[Dale Hellestra]

Say that or you can say, you know what, and it's time to go. You're right. If you don't realize it's time to go. Guess what? I'm gonna give you a little nudge.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

And it's time they'll be. There'll come a time when Chip comes in here and tells you it's time to get.

[Brett]

I hope it's soon. When is. And by Chip, he means Trip. When. My point being, Jerry went in there and said, all right, this team's terrible. We're getting rid of the coach. We're getting in at. Six years is too long to be in an NFC championship game.

[Dale Hellestra]

Right.

[Brett]

It's been 30.

[Dale Hellestra]

Okay. So you can look at it from the documentary side to where it goes through the good times.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

The last 30 years, I have no.

[Brett]

And Jerry's in charge.

[Dale Hellestra]

Did you see who the.

[Brett]

The executive producer is? Jerry Jones.

[Dale Hellestra]

And as the guy you're not getting.

[Brett]

Anything real from the next. The last 30 years.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah. Last 30 years. And yet you would think, as smart as he is, business wise, that he would realize, I need to get somebody in here to run the football side of the operation. And he has it put me out of the equation, and it won't be until he dies. So, I mean, Cowboy fans are like, sell the team.

[Brett]

He's not selling anything. The ROI on that's better than the oil.

[Dale Hellestra]

140 million to 12.2.

[Brett]

Come on. Billion and that's a low estimate. That team sells for 20 on the market. 20 billion.

[Dale Hellestra]

At least 15.

[Brett]

At least 15. Somebody says Dale never has anything positive to say. It's like Eric came back in the studio. I knew you'd like that one. Somebody else said you had the Sklar brothers on last week. And this week you have Posein and Dale. So twins two weeks in a row. Take that Hella stray for your swing at the great Brian pose. Yeah. It's an interesting thing because the cowboy stuff. I've heard that story so many times. I can't imagine Michael Irvin wants to rehash it again. Troy.

[Dale Hellestra]

But they're all in it and supposedly Michael kind of bears his soul, talks about some of this stuff and. But he's done this, right? But obviously he's 60 now and we're talking about when he was 30 again. It's. It's interesting to me. It's great like for my daughters.

[Brett]

Sure.

[Dale Hellestra]

Son in law. As they're watching some of this stuff and I think a lot of people forgot because it's been 30 years, how good we were.

[Brett]

Right? We were great.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yes.

[Brett]

A great football team.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yes.

[Brett]

But if the packers started to do the Bart Star years and the same guy was there, that's there now you're like, jesus, get over.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah, but. But wait, I. I think when episodes four, five, six come out there, there's. It turns into like a novel or a movie or all the nonsense that went on.

[Brett]

Oh, I would love to see that because there's not a lot of talk of that. I will say years I was.

[Brady]

You say that that team, as far as it wasn't like they didn't have a lack of talent.

[Brett]

No, they've been good. They're should have been better. Steeler fans are furious that we haven't won a playoff game in 10 years. But we've been there seven times. They're still mad.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yes.

[Brett]

There's an anger to we're good. Not good enough. The Cowboys seem to be like as can go on forever.

[Dale Hellestra]

You could win a lot of money back in 1996 if you said, okay, in 2025. The only NFC team that have not played in the NFC championship championship game.

[Brett]

Name it Cowboys. It's only, only one. I mean Detroit. And that's finally because of last year. Detroit is the only one other than them up until last year.

[Dale Hellestra]

Commanders.

[Brett]

The commanders popped in there.

[Dale Hellestra]

Cardinals.

[Brett]

Jesus, you're right.

[Dale Hellestra]

Seriously, stop it.

[Brett]

The Panthers have been to a Super bowl. Two of them.

[Dale Hellestra]

And the Cowboys haven't.

[Brett]

Yeah. It's. It's a really.

[Dale Hellestra]

John. It's a testament. I don't want to make it about me. Kind of is about me, you know?

[Brett]

They can't let go, Dale.

[Dale Hellestra]

I leave Ess, they get the death penalty.

[Brett]

You know what it is?

[Dale Hellestra]

At least the Bills, they lose four Super Bowls.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

Michael and Troy were with the Cowboys before they made the blockbuster trade for me.

[Brett]

That's right. Fourth round for fourth round, right?

[Dale Hellestra]

I think it was seventh round pick.

[Brett]

Oh, you get traded for it. You got picked in the fourth and traded for seventh.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah, actually, I sat the test because Jimmy Johnson. What time Was talking a Twitter thing, and he's talking about his best trades.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

And John Giesick, one of my good friends to this day.

[Brett]

Right.

[Dale Hellestra]

He named him as one of his best trades. I said, hey, hey, Jimmy. I thought you always told me I was the.

[Brett]

You can still fire off to Jimmy Johnson.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Why are we not on the phone? With what? You come in here with no guests, and he goes.

[Dale Hellestra]

And he goes, dale, I think I gave Al Davis a six pack of beer.

[Brett]

That's beautiful. Hold on a second. You are friends with Jimmy Johnson? Where? You can text him.

[Dale Hellestra]

He's an oddball. I know. Friends.

[Brett]

Is it him or you?

[Dale Hellestra]

Friends. I don't know if he. He has any friends. Friends is a strong word.

[Brett]

Well, how. What does that mean?

[Dale Hellestra]

He just. He's a isolationist or.

[Brett]

I still have friends. Yeah. Leader of men, isolationist. You're talking about me? Champion, but gray hair.

[Dale Hellestra]

But to get back to my story, because you're interrupting me.

[Brett]

Well, it's bored.

[Dale Hellestra]

Michael. Michael and Troy were at the Cowboys in 89.

[Brett]

Yeah, we got it, Dale.

[Dale Hellestra]

You've. And then they traded for me in 90.

[Brett]

He's still doing that. Okay, then explain why the. Why all the other things started and then even 2000.

[Dale Hellestra]

Guess what? Have they had any success?

[Brett]

Yeah. And then where'd you go in 2000?

[Dale Hellestra]

Went to the Ravens, and we won two play. A 11 playoff.

[Brett]

And then. And then you got fired by the Ravens and they won a Super Bowl. I know. Yeah. I might have an accident. That could be trouble. So you have. Yeah. So you left the Ravens and then they. They won one.

[Dale Hellestra]

No, they won one the year before. Oh, so they won in 2000.

[Brett]

They didn't need you is what I'm saying.

[Dale Hellestra]

Well, they did need me to get through with all those good snaps.

[Brett]

And then what happened? The three bad snaps.

[Dale Hellestra]

It was horrible.

[Brett]

The pension.

[Dale Hellestra]

800 bucks a month for the rest of my life.

[Brett]

Extra. Yeah, just that one more year?

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah, I got three games in and.

[Brett]

They gave you $800 on top of what you already going to get.

[Dale Hellestra]

So it's 800 for every year you play. You get about 800 bucks a month.

[Brett]

Is that right? That's pretty nice.

[Dale Hellestra]

So what's that? 8 times 12?

[Brett]

I don't know.

[Dale Hellestra]

Because that's 9, 600 bucks a year times however long my wife lives.

[Brett]

It's only ten grand a year.

[Dale Hellestra]

No, that just added on.

[Brett]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Dale Hellestra]

Just added on. I was going to say that will go to my wife when I pass away here in the next year or two and.

[Brett]

Dig it. So you played 16 years? Yeah. And then. Then you get 9,600 a year. Extra. Extra on top of the 15 years you were getting 800 for.

[Dale Hellestra]

And it's over 15 years. They changed when I first came to league. Pretty nice number, dude, the NFL pension. When I first got in the league in 85, $50 per year you played. So if you play four years, which you have to play to qualify, you get 200 bucks a month when you turn 155. You know, most guys play four years, right? They're 25, 26 years old.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

You gotta wait 30 years to get your.

[Brett]

Can you get it early and get penalized. That's painful. And now it's ridiculous.

[Dale Hellestra]

And I gotta give a shout out to NFLPA retired people or the nflpa because they've gone back and rectified that situation big time. It's really cool. And it's.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's really actually very good. Why do you think, and does it bother you as an athlete that I can ask you that? How much do you make now a year off of that? And athletes have to give up their salaries. You ask me how much I make and we're not even friends anymore really. I just don't feel that that's a conversation that anyone needs to have. It changes the dynamic of friendships in a lot of cases.

[Dale Hellestra]

You think so?

[Brett]

I know so.

[Dale Hellestra]

Well, I know because it's probably early 90s when they started posting salaries publicly.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

It's ridiculous.

[Brett]

Ridiculous. And at this point, when you're making 41 million, it's a bragging thing. I'm fine.

[Brian Posein]

Right.

[Brett]

But most other. I mean, I was raised that you never ask a man what he makes, ever. It's none of your business.

[Dale Hellestra]

Well, you make too much, probably. Hey, Trip, get in it.

[Brett]

Probably. But I don't believe the words too much apply to salary. I think there can always be more. But you know, I, you know they make too much off of me, so I should make.

[Dale Hellestra]

Okay, well, why should people know how much. How much I weigh or how tall I am or.

[Brett]

Well, that's for football, though. That makes sense.

[Dale Hellestra]

I just got three more. And again, it's not bragging. It's just real. Because I don't understand it. Why am I. I got three more letters. It's like, who's. How you finding my address?

[Brett]

The bathroom wall at the insane asylum. It makes sense to me now. I don't know if you heard us talking about that yesterday, but Brady told us that his grandfather used to give his grandmother electroshock therapy back in the day. Brady's Rockwellian.

[Brady]

My grandfather did not give her.

[Brett]

He did, too. He had to give the thumbs up for an insane asylum. They call it a hospital stories call it lunatic. It's a lunatic asylum.

[Dale Hellestra]

Well, that's part of our problem in this day and age.

[Brett]

They don't electrocute Brady's grandma.

[Dale Hellestra]

They don't have those anymore.

[Brett]

Right.

[Dale Hellestra]

And they need it.

[Brett]

But his grandpa used to send her in and give her. Light her up like a Tesla, pull.

[John Holmberg]

The jumper cables out and go to town.

[Brady]

She had mental medals.

[Dale Hellestra]

Really?

[Brett]

Yeah. And Brady acts like I was.

[Brady]

I was.

[Brett]

You don't talk about that.

[Brady]

Five when she died. So I was really young.

[Brett]

She was electrocuted. She was outside with a cow.

[Brady]

She was. She was at the home when she died.

[Dale Hellestra]

Really?

[Brady]

But they said she choked.

[Brett]

She was at a hospital and she choked.

[Dale Hellestra]

Or was choked.

[Brett]

First reaction his whole family doesn't have. You don't choke to death on medicine at a hospital.

[Dale Hellestra]

No, that's just somebody.

[Brett]

Exactly. Dale is. See, Brady, this is why you have to ask these questions.

[Dale Hellestra]

You squirt a little medicine in her mouth, and then you.

[Brett]

Then you lock her up. Well, she's choked.

[Brady]

Nurse did his job.

[Brett]

Right. But your grandpa had to call the. He had to give the. Okay, the code word electrocute.

[Dale Hellestra]

And then.

[Brett]

And then you got it, Mr. Bogan. And then they went in and they killed your grandma, called your mom and said, oh, my gosh, she choked on her medicine. And you guys. Because you don't ever get. Never said, wait a minute. Choked at the hospital. That's a lawsuit.

[Dale Hellestra]

Well, see, I never.

[Brady]

Yeah, you didn't question that.

[Brett]

You did question it. You didn't. You guys didn't. Absolutely.

[Dale Hellestra]

The Bogan family is a little different.

[Brett]

The. The. Keeping up appearances is very important. When I went to Columbus. It's not the Bogan family family.

[Dale Hellestra]

Right.

[Brett]

It's Scioto Country Club. Yeah, I noticed.

[Dale Hellestra]

It.

[Brett]

When I was there. Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

I know a buddy who's a member of Columbus Country Club.

[Brett]

I think that's for the poor people. That's for the poor people's the good one.

[Dale Hellestra]

Nice.

[Brett]

But I was there. And you immediately realized, oh, I've been in two places that are very similar to that, which was very strange to me. Pasadena, California. Old Pasadena has that vibe. Arcadia has that vibe. You don't talk bad about what's in the area.

[Dale Hellestra]

Arcadia or Arcade? Arcadia Light.

[Brett]

Not Arcadia Light or Acadia.

[Brian Posein]

East or West?

[Brett]

Those are just real estate tricks. And then Columbus, when I went to Columbus, I'm like, oh, I see this place. Doesn't they just look away from all the bad things?

[Dale Hellestra]

Electrocution. To try and jar her memory or change her thoughts.

[Brady]

I don't know.

[Brett]

They took electroshock therapy.

[Brady]

Cutting edge stuff.

[Brett]

It was controversial. They'd electrocute the brain because it would numb it dead.

[Brady]

And.

[Brett]

And you couldn't really think or have thoughts for a while. And it would just kind of make you this kind of zombie person. It killed. It killed your. It killed your libido. It killed your drive to do things. You were just walking through life going, somebody better take care of me.

[Dale Hellestra]

Well, what's that stuff that you pour into a drink? Try and sleep with a girl or whatever that is.

[Brett]

I'm not telling you. No. I'm not telling you.

[Dale Hellestra]

No. Lose your memory.

[Brett]

We're hypnol. Noofies. Yeah, roofies.

[Dale Hellestra]

So kind of like roofies. She doesn't know what she's doing.

[Brett]

Yeah, in a weird way. Except for it's. You're attached to a car battery and you're electrocuted.

[Brady]

But that's what, you know, the pills will do too, For a lot of times.

[Brett]

This is mentally right. Well, that's true of pills, but it is a whole lot less physically aggressive.

[Dale Hellestra]

Than electrodes to your brain is pretty.

[Brady]

It was cheaper.

[Dale Hellestra]

It's almost like you wanted more to happen than just your brain.

[Brett]

They were hoping it was a control alt delete at the time to reset this bitch who was driving your grandfather crazy. And when it started to cost too, too much, he's like, electricity. You got it, Mr. Bogan. And then they choked her to death with horse pills. And you guys are like, oh, that's a shame. No question.

[Brady]

Got remarried.

[Dale Hellestra]

What do you think about this? As you know, you're. You're closer to the end than the.

[Brett]

Beginning of my life.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

And. And obviously. So what I'm contemplating is giving both my daughters one of those Cyanide pills or whatever that can kill.

[Brett]

You're going to kill your daughter? No. Oh. To give to you. To have.

[Dale Hellestra]

So the first time that they have to change me.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

As you're. As you're. Take. As you're changing me, give me the pill.

[Brett]

Right. First time, you have to wipe out.

[Dale Hellestra]

First time.

[Brett]

It's the. It's called the Superman complex. This is true, that Superman knows that if he ever got out of control, he'd decimate the planet.

[Brian Posein]

Right.

[Brett]

So we gave Batman the kryptonite that kills him. I think it's the red or the black kryptonite. I don't remember. Remember what color?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

That's a very real thing. And it stems from the idea of people saying, when I'm no longer in control of myself.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yes.

[Brett]

You need to be a good friend and kill me.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah.

[Brady]

That's what Ruth said to my father.

[Brett]

She said he's like, kill her. Kill her.

[Brian Posein]

Dad.

[Brett]

My dad and I have a deal, too. That if either of us are told by a doctor, he'll never wipe himself again. That we're gonna do the pillow over the other guy's face.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Young or old or whatever.

[Dale Hellestra]

Okay.

[Brett]

I don't want that.

[Dale Hellestra]

No.

[Brett]

I want to live.

[Dale Hellestra]

I want to be on that. Yeah. Hey, as long as I can move around. I. I golfed up.

[Brett]

You barely do that.

[Dale Hellestra]

I'm feeling better these days, but I golfed up. Up north at pine canyon with two 75 year old dudes who are still bouncing around.

[Brett]

It drives you nuts and having fun.

[Dale Hellestra]

It's like, my gosh, I. I hope and pray I can be.

[Brett]

Yeah. Age is just a number. It's what you do. You got to keep moving. Yes. And then sometimes you get punched in the nuts and you got to try to fight through that. You never know when it's going to be your time.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yes.

[Brett]

But you know what?

[Dale Hellestra]

When it is that time.

[Brett]

When it is that time, don't wipe my ass.

[Dale Hellestra]

I might want to give you a pill.

[Brett]

I would. You better not give me that pill.

[Dale Hellestra]

Go a day early.

[Brett]

A day early. A day early. You drink it for lunch. I would.

[Dale Hellestra]

I would.

[Brett]

Brady's grandpa, you so fast with that pill, it would be ridiculous.

[Brady]

Get it prescribed.

[Brett]

Cyanide. You got a black web. I think the dark web takes care of. All right, we got to take a break. You want to kill Brett?

[Dale Hellestra]

No. Does Brett have access to some of that?

[Brett]

Brett can take care of you. Don't you worry about that. Brett may or may not. Some death pills. You be quiet about it you don't know.

[Brady]

He's got some concrete.

[Brett]

You got it. Maybe Brady should give us all one. Got real quiet, didn't it? Yeah. Let's take a break. Dale Hell's here. Former champion of the NFL.

[Brian Posein]

Always.

[Brett]

Always a world champion. But it's been so long. Can anybody remember they had black and white TVs back then. You could still buy them. Dale joins us for the entertainment drill next. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.

[Dale Hellestra]

Morning sickness.

[Brett]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Wow. Brett just hit me with some news. Dale won't care about this, but the guitar player from Mastodon just died in a motorcycle accident. Brent Hines, one of the co founders. Yeah, Larry's just finding out as we speak about it. How about about that? Wow. Dale, welcome. Welcome aboard. Yeah. Look at that. You sell your motorcycle. I say Brett immediately. No. God, it's crazy.

[Dale Hellestra]

Do you wear a helmet, Brett?

[Brett]

Yes. Have to wear a helmet.

[John Holmberg]

I yelled at one time when I wasn't by John.

[Brett]

Who You.

[Dale Hellestra]

Oh, I'm out of here, you son of a bitch.

[Brett]

Right, I forgot about that and then I got mad at you for the whole thing. Yeah, well, you're an idiot for not wearing a helmet. That's why I said that. Yeah, well, that's crazy. So, yeah, we'll. We'll keep our eyes open for that then. That's not great news. But he's not part of the band.

[John Holmberg]

He just left in March or something.

[Brett]

So they'll have.

[John Holmberg]

They already had a replacement. But he's a co founder. He's been there since.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

Is Mastodon a pretty good.

[Brett]

Pretty good rock band? Yeah. Pretty. There. You would hate them. Yeah. Yeah. You would hate.

[Dale Hellestra]

You play them on this station.

[Brett]

You would. Let me give you a little taste of Mastodon real quick. Here's what they're. This is. This is Mastodon. It's a great band song called Show Yourself.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

If I listen to this every day, I would be a mass murderer.

[Brett]

This isn't even. This is. This is. Poppy just said beat it out.

[John Holmberg]

If I listen to Luke Bryant every.

[Dale Hellestra]

Day, like right now, I want to just punch Brady in the face.

[Brett]

Well, yeah, but that's not.

[Brady]

Cuz you'll break every knuckle.

[Brett]

Yeah, that. Show Yourself. That's a poppy song. Yeah. If I listen to Luke Brian, I'D I'd kill the guy I was having sex with too.

[Brady]

It's road rage.

[Brett]

That's right, Dale. You heard me.

[Dale Hellestra]

You are so.

[Brett]

I'd pull out and I'd kill him.

[John Holmberg]

He'd go and dry.

[Brett]

Yeah, I go in dry. I'd rather have a guy go in dry on me than listen to country music. What would you rather have? Just a gaggle of gay guys in the desert with sand all over their penises or listen to country music for the rest of your life? Bring on the twinks. That's right. Give me that. Give me that Twinkle pyramid. I. I'd dress up like a pharaoh. I'd be. Anything's better than country music. So. How dare you disparage Mastodon. It's awesome. Steelers games at 4 o' clock today. Dale playing the Carolina pants on Thursday. On a Thursday. A little Thursday night.

[Dale Hellestra]

Aaron Rodgers taking what, 50, 60 snap.

[Brett]

He's probably, probably going to go the full pull on today. I don't think he's playing. They aren't playing anybody. Which makes the pre. See, we about talk. Talked about that. And the podcast that Dale and I are trying to start but is nowhere yet. But might be today, that sports thing we're talking about that how bad preseason is pointless. The practices are important, but these games are just money grabs.

[Dale Hellestra]

Well, understand the thing about preseason and, and I, I'm. It's always fascinating me because the owners are giving up preseason games for regular season games.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

I kind of understand that. I've heard it. That each week of a regular season. Season is almost a billion dollars.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

Owners. Yeah. But in preseason they charge you regular season prices. They don't give you a discount on beer. You have to buy whatever and you have to buy them to get some tickets. And they only have to pay the players like 2500 bucks a week.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

Now, again, just for easy math, if you're making $17 million a year, that's a million dollars a week.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

Or $2,500 for a preseason.

[Brett]

Come on.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And it's crazy because they're like, the Steelers played the Buccaneers all week last week.

[Dale Hellestra]

Right.

[Brett]

So they got real one on one, starters on starters on practice, and then they played their meaningless preseason game. And I'm like, they don't need this. They're just selling tickets.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yes. And it's.

[Brett]

The preseason has gotten to be worse.

[Dale Hellestra]

Than I said when we did the podcast. I. I've talked to the coaches. Joe Avzano was a close friend of mine. Hudson H. The offensive line coach for the Cowboys. So coming into the camp.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

53 guys on the roster. How many roster spots are open on an average year? Yeah, two or three.

[Brett]

Two or three spots that a guy might surprise her or they need a place that this guy's going to find hurt, whatever.

[Dale Hellestra]

But going in, you've got 49 or 50 of your guys already rested.

[Brett]

Right.

[Dale Hellestra]

And back then, we used to do six weeks of training camp.

[Brett]

Yeah. And now it's 100 players currently on each team. Are there about.

[Dale Hellestra]

Abouts.

[Brett]

Yes. And they got to cut back to. They're going to cut 47 of them after this weekend.

[Dale Hellestra]

Right.

[Brett]

And you're saying that only three or four maybe. Had a chance.

[Dale Hellestra]

Had a chance. Unless somebody just absolutely shocks you and you got to make matters worse. My first three or four years in the league in Buffalo.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

There's no roster limit, so there'd be 160 dudes out there. So now if you're. If you had the teammate, it was great because your offense line was five deep.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

You never harder. You do 20 plays a team, you're doing four or five plays and you're done.

[Brady]

Now, don't they have practice squads?

[Dale Hellestra]

They do now. Yeah.

[Brett]

You put a guy in the practice squad, though, any. Anybody can take them.

[Dale Hellestra]

Right.

[Brett]

They're available to the whole league, so you gotta be careful with that. If you've got a guy who's like, he's in development, but we're not, put him on the 53, put him on the practice squad. Someone else can steal them.

[Brady]

And how many are you said, like 6 or 7?

[Brett]

8 right now.

[Dale Hellestra]

But you have the chance. If somebody claims him, you have the chance to sign him yourself if you want.

[Brett]

But then you got to put them on the roster and keep them off or put them on ir, Right. Which is even more stupid because then he can't play it off. You know what?

[Dale Hellestra]

I was going to say that what was so fascinating just jogged my memory for the first four years. Last preseason game, they literally told four or five guys, hey, you're going to sprain your ankle. Hey, you're going to hurt your knee. You're going to do. And somewhere along the line they go, go down, trainers come out, carry you off because they're gonna put you on injury reserve to keep you in the ground.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

And then bring you back. It was crazy, guys. Nobody's good at faking injuries of. It's like, you know, it's my right ankle, but you're limping on your left ankle.

[Brett]

And bastards have been lying to us the whole Time. Anyway, it's time now for the entertainment drill. What else going on in sports? Anything while you're here? I don't think you got anything.

[Dale Hellestra]

Diamondbacks. How about your Diamondbacks?

[Brett]

You know, I went to a game the other day. It was a morgue. It's just brutal.

[Dale Hellestra]

But how about the Catal Marte stuff?

[Brett]

You were right, man. You give Dale his flowers on that one. You were absolutely 100% right about. He should have traded him. Yeah, because this is weirder. It got weirder.

[Dale Hellestra]

Well, I didn't realize until recently that after. So he took the Sunday game off.

[Brett]

Before the All Star break, which they needed.

[Dale Hellestra]

And they were in the wild car race at that point.

[Brett]

Yep.

[Dale Hellestra]

And then his house got broke into All Star break, but instead of coming home to take care of that, he went to the Dominican Republic and didn't tell the team.

[Brett]

Yeah, they found out after he came back. And that's the crazy part.

[Brady]

Somebody emailed Rodman?

[Brett]

Yeah, some. Well, no, Rodman called Phil Jackson. Everybody knew. Yeah, everybody knew. He's disappeared. No, he went to Vegas and they said, he has to. He can't be in Salt Lake City for four days.

[John Holmberg]

He was gone longer than he should have.

[Brett]

They were worried. That's what it was. They were worried. He was. Because he didn't check into the morning practice, day of game. Then there's pictures of him with Carmen Electra naked in a hallway and like, he ain't coming back. They were worried. And then he just showed up right at the game time, ready to go.

[Dale Hellestra]

Like, okay, but this.

[Brett]

But the Marte thing, somebody emailed and said, isn't it like finding out, like something happened in Scottsdale and then you go to Baltimore to feel safe? Like it's.

[Dale Hellestra]

It made no sense.

[Brett]

None.

[Dale Hellestra]

It made absolutely no sense. And so evidently that stuff's been going on. They fired or they removed their third base coach.

[Brett]

Yes.

[Dale Hellestra]

Had a rough year.

[Brett]

Trade Marte would have been a huge thing. You're absolutely right. Crazy. But they're hanging in there a little better than you expected. They're still around.500. They're not going to do any damage.

[Dale Hellestra]

Well, I mean, I'm expecting it here in the next week or so to see some little home bird come up there in pitching relief or something like.

[Brett]

Yeah, I think you might be right.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Bring up anybody. I'll get out there on the bump. I'll take the beating. I got no problem with that. It's time for Brady to entertain us all. On top of the news that the guy from Mastodon just Passed away, which is very meaningful to this crowd. What was his name?

[John Holmberg]

Brent Hines.

[Brett]

Brent Hines. So people who like Mastodon aren't kind of like, well, I was. What? That's a shocker. But Brady's got all that other stuff. The entertainment drills brought to you by reactdefense.com the home of tactical Black Self Defense Training. Get on in there and get yourself all trained up and ready to go in case something weird happens to you. You just need to never know when something goofy's coming your direction. And you should defend yourself. Have a plan in your head for what to do if somebody comes at you with just wants to straight up fight you. Walking down the road and downtown, that's happened a few times. We're like, oh, boy, that guy came out of the woodwork. You learn triangulation of where you're standing versus corners. There's so many things you don't think about, and then you start thinking about them. They just become part of your daily routine. It's about making you and the people you care about a little safer. It's smart. That's all it is. Become a sheepdog stuff. Stop being a sheep. React defense.com the Home Tactical Black Brady.

[Brady]

Dale Entertainment Sean Williams Scott is going through a divorce. Has been Stifler and. Yep, Stifler from American Pie. Wondering, he's been in a couple of movies. How's he doing? Well, he had to submit all his income because child support.

[Brett]

He's on that new Tim Allen show. It's terrible, though.

[Brady]

Well, he gets $110,000 a month, $45,000 in royalties, 31, 000 additional in dividends and interest.

[Brett]

Just from American Pie or just from his career?

[Brady]

From his career.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Brady]

And then he also has 12.2 million in stocks and bonds and 18.8 million in property.

[Brett]

Good on him.

[Brady]

He invested his money.

[Brett]

Now he's got to hand it to some bro. He's got to split that up, cut Stifler in half. There's going to be an American Po Pie adults movie coming out here soon. They're going to rehash that to get that money back.

[Brady]

Paris Hilton's new animated kids show Paris and Pups debuts on YouTube. That's right. The girl that you learned about.

[John Holmberg]

It's better than her porn video no matter how bad it is.

[Brett]

It's sexier to watch her pet puppies than it is to watch her miserable. Really Blow. Blow up dolls move around. Really? Yeah. Okay. And it's not that you're looking for some sort of circus but some sort of feign interest emotion. Oh, my God.

[Dale Hellestra]

She was.

[Brett]

I've never had a, like, you know, you've had a dead lay. I've never had a dead jerk before. It was impossible to even tug to my dick's, like, really find something else. Turn it to give me a break or what's happening or something.

[Brady]

Dale's got a big story. This is really cool.

[Dale Hellestra]

You see, he sets me up for failure.

[Brett]

It's true.

[Dale Hellestra]

Dolly Parton has her own Coca Cola flavor right now.

[Brett]

This sounds great.

[John Holmberg]

That fits you.

[Brett]

What are you talking about? Yeah, it's country music.

[Dale Hellestra]

I'm gonna send my guys over to your guys.

[Brett]

Yeah, you both have huge fat cans. Perfect.

[Dale Hellestra]

Dolly Parton is the author of several books, a line of baking kits, and has a new hotel coming to Nashville. Hotel Johnny.

[Brett]

That's right.

[Dale Hellestra]

You ever been Nashville?

[Brian Posein]

I have.

[Brett]

It's a great city.

[Dale Hellestra]

It's great.

[Brett]

One of my favorites.

[Dale Hellestra]

Lot of. A lot of country music.

[Brett]

I didn't like that. I found a rock bar.

[Brady]

A lot of rock music, too.

[Brett]

Well, it's mostly country now. They've ruined it.

[Dale Hellestra]

But this achievement might stand above them all. Dolly now has her own signature flavor of Coca Cola. It's called 40th Pop Fizz. And to celebrate the 40th anniversary of Dollywood.

[Brett]

Oh.

[Dale Hellestra]

Which turns 40 next year. But if you're gonna go travel to Pigeon Ford, Tennessee, you want to try it?

[Brady]

It's only available at home.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah. Pigeons in Dollywood.

[Brett]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that makes sense that you would only get it at the place where Dolly is, like, most famous.

[Dale Hellestra]

I, I, Brooke and I. My wife went to the one you'll never meet. Went to Nashville one time. And we took the. And we took the tour just to see what the natural thing. And my wife's a little gullible.

[Brett]

Oh.

[Dale Hellestra]

And so we're going by the folder in America. No, the, the. Well, maybe, but that. But the Titan Stadium.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

And the conductor or whatever is giving little snippets here and there. Edge. He goes, so that's where there's. When there's tornado warnings, that's where we take everybody to the Titan Stadium. And Brook looks at me, goes, there's no covering on that because the Titans never score. No. Never touchdown.

[Brett]

Never touchdown. It's like a hurricane or a tornado. There's no touchdowns there. That's brilliant. Your wife didn't get it. Now, that explains so much. So very, very much. And I will meet your wife. I will.

[Dale Hellestra]

At my funeral.

[Brett]

That's right. Count on it. Hi.

[Brian Posein]

I'm John Holmes.

[Brett]

I'm the one you've been waiting for. Do you know who Stifler is?

[Dale Hellestra]

I do. You do? I do know, but.

[Brady]

Nice.

[Dale Hellestra]

Oh, I was gonna say the names that you're talking about with that comedian dude.

[Brett]

Brian Posayn.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah. You were throwing out names. I'm like, who the hell are you talking about?

[Brett]

Odenkirk.

[Dale Hellestra]

No. Who's that?

[Brett]

Better Call Saul. Breaking Bad.

[Brady]

Nobody.

[Brett]

He was. He was. He was Saul. Nobody. The movie. Now nobody, too.

[John Holmberg]

Vinnie Paul.

[Brett]

Vinnie Paul from Pantera.

[John Holmberg]

Huge Cowboys fan. Pantera From Dallas.

[Dale Hellestra]

Singer or drummer from Pantera.

[Brett]

You know Pantera?

[Dale Hellestra]

Y. I know this song.

[Brett]

That's them.

[John Holmberg]

That's them. Huge Cowboys.

[Dale Hellestra]

They wore their.

[Brett]

They wore their homosexual old jersey. The. The stars. What do they call? Oh, cowboy jersey. They wore those all over the place.

[Dale Hellestra]

So your team got beat by homosexuals in the super bowl once, but I.

[Brett]

Think we still have the upper hand.

[Dale Hellestra]

Was I on there? Have I ever lost?

[Brett]

I don't know. You ever played.

[Dale Hellestra]

Have I ever lost? The Steelers?

[Brett]

Did you?

[Dale Hellestra]

I don't think so.

[Brett]

You've lost to the Steelers even in the regular season?

[Dale Hellestra]

I don't think so.

[Brett]

There was a game. You guys clobbered us and opened the season.

[Dale Hellestra]

I don't think.

[Brett]

37. 7. It was awful. The Ryder. That's one time I walked away from the game. I think the Ryder cup was on at the same time. I'm like, I'm not watching this switch. It was brutal. It was a beating. I think we had Ohio State gem Mike Tomczack at the.

[Dale Hellestra]

Oh, my goodness.

[Brady]

Tzac.

[Brett]

Don't bring back those memories. Anyway, enjoy. Do the Cowboys do anything, or is this all just. They're living so much in nostalgia. There's nothing.

[Dale Hellestra]

It's a weird feeling to be in as a guy who played for 11 years for him. The fact that. Do you kind of want them to do good, but the further away it gets, it's like, don't care if you don't care. Number one. Number two. It's like that. That was the glory days. I mean, even the 70s, when they became America's team, they only won two Super Bowls, and they lost one or two to your.

[Brett]

They were. There were three and two, I think, in Super Bowls back then, but. Or two and three. Sorry. They were in five. They won.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah. And then three. Zero with hella strike.

[Brett]

Well, all right. Whatever happened, happened, I guess. Do you want to say goodbye to Brady, just in case?

[Dale Hellestra]

Oh, when's the surgery?

[Brett]

Tuesday.

[Dale Hellestra]

Good luck. It's been nice. I'll give him a hug after.

[Brett]

Don't be. Don't squeeze too hard at my pop.

[Dale Hellestra]

Oh, I wouldn't. I wouldn't do that. I wanted to pop out like a.

[Brett]

Human zit right now. You don't want to squeeze around on Brady too much.

[Brady]

You never know.

[Dale Hellestra]

So when we see him next, he's going to be lean and mean. Diets changing. You tell him diet's changing?

[Brett]

Yeah, 100%. No more sodium, no more salt, no more processed foods.

[Dale Hellestra]

You'll feel better, I promise.

[Brett]

No more pizza. No more cheese.

[Brady]

No, not on that. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Brett]

Well, no, no, that's exactly what we're talking about.

[Dale Hellestra]

Pizza.

[Brett]

You're st. Pizza. You can't.

[Brady]

It's processed foods. No, not if I make it.

[Brett]

You're going to do.

[Brady]

And there's some good pizzas out there that are.

[Brett]

Okay. I will say, I've read that white flour is better for you. Normally, that's a terrible thing to put in, but white flour is good for you to help your kidneys.

[Brady]

It's not a ton of sodium.

[Brett]

Your kidney.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah. It's just we're working at 15, and we're barely.

[Brett]

That thing's barely functioning. If it was a car, you wouldn't drive it on the freeway because it can't go fast enough. But he wants to drive it as fast as he can to the pizza place. Keep her. Keep her cool, kid. Say goodbye to Dale, just in case.

[Brady]

It's nice knowing you.

[Brett]

Is there anything you'd like to say to each other right before just.

[Dale Hellestra]

You know, Brady, I, I, I, I know you're coming through with flying colors, and you have two ways to handle these situations, right? Got another friend who's going through. You can either deal with humor or you can go. Yeah.

[Brett]

Be the saddest guy in the world.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah. And. And I. I would deal with anything with humor.

[Brett]

I agree completely. Yeah. No, look at that. There's love over there. See that?

[Dale Hellestra]

I, I might. You. I. When he wakes up, I want to be in the hospital, right there in bed.

[Brett]

Why would you do that to me, Spencer? So much. Why would that. You think he died and went to Frankenstein?

[Dale Hellestra]

Hell, Brady, he's gonna have a heart attack.

[Brett]

You can't be the first person people see coming out of anesthesia at all. Are we in heaven? Yeah. His other kidney will just leap out of his body.

[Dale Hellestra]

So we're doing the podcast, also the main event. I do that with Steve McColum.

[Brett]

Look at you promoting away. The sports thing. The main event with Steve McCullough. And we'll get the other thing up later today. I'll have Toledo post those on our Facebook at the very least. Right now however, go to Shane Gillis.com and use the code link. Live pre sale tickets for Shane Gillis's show on December 5th. They're on sale just for you guys right now. Now Gillis has his sg. No no Brady, listen to what I said. There is an SG live. They're trying to track how many people listen to us and get it through us. So live is for us. If you hate us then go SG live. If you don't and you want some credit to go KUPD's way for the Gilla sales. They're doing this one just for you guys anyway. So live is for you. So they can make sure how many KUPD people get catered to too faster. I am telling you, the fees on these tickets for everything now but this one really was surprising. It'll kick you. So just be ready. Be ready to spend a couple bucks for a one night only event for probably the hottest comic going.

[Dale Hellestra]

And he's at the Sun's place.

[Brett]

Yeah, the Phoenix Arena. Pretty big. It's gonna fill 18, 19,000 seats for that. That's pretty good. We're done. Larry's next. You guys have a great Thursday. We'll see you tomorrow on the morning sickness. It's not weird.

[Brian Posein]

It's pretty cool actually.

[Brett]

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