08-21-25 - New Disease w/Dicey Name May Have Been Mean For Bret To Read - Brady Touting His First Car The Ford Tempo Proving He Never Got Laid By His Car Choices

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness — August 21, 2025

Episode Theme:
This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" (HMS) oscillates between its signature irreverent comedic banter and pockets of genuine reflection. The hosts are short one member—Toledo—who is absent due to a family emergency, which sets a briefly somber but supportive tone at the start. From there, the remaining trio dives into an edgy, laughter-filled segment about an obscure disease with a "dicey" name, and eventually meander into a nostalgic and relentlessly mocking conversation about first cars and questionable automotive decisions. The episode is a showcase of HMS's blend of immature humor, camaraderie, and everyday relatability.

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1. Absent Team Member & Tone-Setting (05:42–07:11)

The show opens with host John Holmberg acknowledging Toledo's absence, explaining the situation with genuine empathy:

• John Holmberg: “He takes the punches and he takes the beating just like, you know, a champ. So we’re hoping he’s doing well…” (01:42)
• The crew expresses solidarity and fondness for Toledo, briefly dropping their on-air “shtick.”

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2. The “Disease With a Dicey Name” & Brett’s Challenge (03:03–14:35)

Segment Set-up (03:03–04:43)

John introduces an "email challenge"—asking Brett Vesely to read about a rare genetic disorder, betting he can’t keep a straight face because of the awkward (and potentially risqué-sounding) name.

• John: "I don't think Brett can read it without laughing. ...there is nothing bad about this word at all. But I don't think he can say it without laughing." (04:47)

The Name Reveal (05:38–10:33)

Brett reads the clinical description as professionally as possible but ultimately crumbles at the reveal—the disease is “Nager Syndrome.” The show’s distinctive, juvenile sense of humor erupts as they riff on the phonetic similarity to a racial slur, dancing around the tension for laughs while making clear that there’s no actual bigotry intended.

• Brett (losing it): “It’s N Word syndrome.” (06:30)
• John (correcting, mock-annoyed): “No, it’s naggers. It’s naggers. Syndrome. ... And I knew he could not tell us about it because he laughs at everything that’s close to racist.” (06:32–06:48)
• John (meta-commentary): “You have ruined it. You’ve made me racist. Where there’s no racism.” (06:49)
• The group leans into the awkwardness, joking about what it would look like for Brett (or anyone) to have to say it in serious settings.
  • John: “If anyone in Brett’s family ever got diagnosed with this, the doctor would say, ‘I’m afraid he’s got nagger’s disease.’ This is not a funny moment, sir.” (08:09)

Notable Quotes:

• John: “...He laughs at the stuff that almost is [racist] and is. You know, why’d they name it that? And then it spreads. Best day ever. And to me, it’s deeply concerning because…it’s…now I read it and I go, there’s no way he’s getting through that. So now I can play the game at home. And I kind of hate you for it…” (17:38–17:47)

Audience Reaction and Inside Jokes (10:33–14:35)

• The hosts read and react to listener emails, some riffing on the disease name; John bemoans the inability to do serious news without childish laughter.
• Suggestions come in for segments like “Brett’s Word of the Week”—words that sound like something they shouldn’t.
• John (self-aware): “We just have a jackass amongst us who can’t be adult enough to do this.” (13:47)

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3. Nostalgia and Ridiculing First Car Choices (17:38–36:46)

Inflation Shock: Then & Now (18:45–23:13)

• John references an old magazine ad predicting fantastical future prices; the crew laments how vehicles and houses are much more expensive now.
• Humorous takes on how parents and grandparents bought houses for “the price of an iPhone” and “made a killing” by today’s standards.

Brady’s First Car Infamy (24:00–35:02)

The group relentlessly roasts Brady for his first car, a Ford Tempo, suggesting his taste in vehicles doomed him to a dry dating life:

• Brady: “1987, I bought my first new car. Ford Tempo.” (21:17)
• John (merciless): “Oh, you were not trying, you were trying to not get laid.” (21:22)
• The guys riff about the underwhelming masculinity (“that is a dry vagina mobile”), and trace Brady’s history of owning “lesbian” cars (Honda Element, Subaru Outback, Isuzu Space Cab).
• Brett: “Well, how did you ever get laid when you were young? You didn’t.” (29:36)
• John (recapping): “You had an Isuzu Space Cap. … You were a lesbian for almost 20 years.” (34:06)
• The conversation devolves into laughter as they attempt to “find” Brady’s cars in online listings, mock their styling/market appeal, and rib on their own family legacy of bad car trades.

Notable Quotes:

• John: “You purchased that with your own money without being dared or having lost a bet. … Somewhere out there’s a bunch of incels that have started the Tempo archives page.” (31:04)
• On Brady’s Outback: “No, it wasn’t a sweet ride. It wasn’t at all. … Do you have nagger’s disease? No, this is my car. I’m serious.” (25:54)
• Brady: “Loaded that baby up and drove from Milwaukee to Arizona.” (35:02)

Bad Car Stories & Parental Hijinks (36:46–41:20)

• The crew compares worst cars they’ve owned, mocking themselves and each other.
• John shares stories of his dad wrecking his cars (Bronco, CJ7 Jeep), then blaming John for the damage—“He’d wreck yours and bring it back. Something’s wrong with it.”
  • John (reflecting): “I need two apologies out of you. One, you shrimped my Bronco and turned my lesbian car into super lesbian car. … Who told you about that?” (40:43)

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4. Notable Quotes and Moments with Timestamps

• [06:30] Brett: “It’s N Word syndrome.”
• [06:32] John: “No, it’s naggers. It’s naggers. Syndrome.”
• [06:49] John: “You have ruined it. You’ve made me racist. Where there’s no racism.”
• [08:09] John: “If anyone in Brett’s family ever got diagnosed with this…the doctor…‘I’m afraid he’s got nagger’s disease.’ This is not a funny moment, sir.”
• [13:47] John: “We just have a jackass amongst us who can’t be adult enough to do this.”
• [21:22] John: “Oh, you were not trying, you were trying to not get laid.”
• [29:36] Brett: “Well, how did you ever get laid when you were young? You didn’t.”
• [31:04] John: “You purchase that with your own money without being dared or having lost a bet.”
• [40:43] John (about dad): “You shrimped my Bronco and turned my lesbian car into super lesbian car. … Who told you about that?”

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5. Segment Timestamps for Reference

| Time | Segment | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------| | 00:00–01:42 | Ads, intros, show start | | 01:42–03:03 | Toledo absence & show support | | 03:03–05:27 | Set-up: disease with dicey name | | 05:27–10:33 | Brett attempts to read; “Nager Syndrome” bit | | 10:33–14:35 | Audience emails, inside jokes | | 17:38–23:13 | Car/housing prices then vs now | | 24:00–41:20 | Ridiculing Brady’s car choices; bad car tales| | 41:20–end | Continued riffing, dad stories, show outro |

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6. Summary of Tone & Style

The episode is an exemplar of HMS’s comedic rapport—equal parts shameless, irrepressible juvenility and brilliant group chemistry. While much of the content is at the expense of social taboos (disease names, car models associated with unpopular stereotypes), the hosts ensure the riffing stays self-aware and hyperbolic. There’s an undercurrent of real camaraderie, with sincere moments (Toledo’s absence, parental stories) interwoven amidst the laughter.
If you enjoy cheeky, lightly offensive banter that never quite crosses the line, peppered with relatable nostalgia, this episode is a classic.

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Best for:
Fans of unfiltered morning radio, listeners who appreciate banter over strict reporting, and anyone wanting a laugh at the expense of awkward words and automotive regrets.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the core. He's not going to be back on the court immediately, but in a few months time he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain you've been living with the Core Institute celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're. You're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do again. Go to the core institute dot com.

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

Morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday. Already? What? This is the morning sickness. It's 5:45. My name is John. There's Brady, there's Brett. And unfortunately today, and I know normally you wouldn't say that, but unfortunately today there is no Toledo and that's because he is a. A bit of a family emergency. His mother is not doing well, and he had to fly back to Montana. So we're all as much. As much, you know, as we give Toledo. It's all in fun because we love him. So having him go out there to see his mom while she's not well is. Is our way of kind of saying, all right, deep down inside, let's. Let's pull that. Let's pull the curtain back a little bit and say Toledo's one of our guys deep down, and he takes the punches and he takes the beating just like, you know, a champ. So we're hoping he's doing well, but he had to get out of here yesterday pretty darn fast, so that's no fun. In the meantime, the three of us are here, and what we need in this room with all that's going on between you and you and Toledo, I'm doing fine.

[Brett Vesely]

No reason to brag, bro.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. I'm. I'm gonna end up under a truck. There's. You know, this is the time when we have to. I say this all the time. It's like, this show sometimes will shock you when you get an email from somebody that says, I was going through the worst of it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then you jackasses did something, and I laugh for the first time after family tragedy or, you know, terrible divorce or some sort of thing that happened. So somebody emailed me and said, I would like to have Brett read this. They're not going through a fun day, but I'd like to have Brett read this because I think it would work out great. And I think, can Brett get through this without laughing? Now, it's just an email, but it's based on a medical condition I didn't know was a thing. And it does. It's not bad. But I don't think Brett can read it without laughing. It's not a bad thing, Brady, right? When he reads this, don't pre read it. I'm not pre read it. And just be professional. Take your time. Don't speed through. It's not necessarily a news story as much as it is the first thing. I read this morning and thought, I don't think he can do it. And it's again, because he's going to lose. It doesn't mean anything other than he's an idiot.

[Brady]

When can we expect the unraveling?

[John Holmberg]

You know, the scary part is it's the last, like, sentence, okay? It's a description, and then the final sentence. Then we'll get through the meat. We should get to the meat of the story. And then adults, unfortunately, have to use you in that. Adults like you and I, Brady, will be informed and will understand something. And then the laughing's gonna start. Cuz I know for a fact he can't get through this. I'm putting. I will put all of the money on the fact there's no way Brett can get through this.

[Brett Vesely]

Shouldn't this be for the Brady Report? If we're informing, what am I doing here?

[John Holmberg]

This is. The Brady Report is designed to laugh. And it's not intentional. You just can't say certain words without laughing. And this again, there is nothing bad about this word at all. But I don't think he can say it without laughing. Brett, go ahead and read the part I got. All right. Oh, wait, wait. I should give you some news music, right?

[Brett Vesely]

Putting the pressure.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on. No, don't read it yet. Let me see if I can find that news music. Where the hell is that? Not in that. This is where Toledo usually comes running in. Unfortunately, he's not here anyway. All right. I don't know where it is. All right, we'll have to find it some other way. You go ahead and. Go ahead.

[Brett Vesely]

We missed Alito.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brett Vesely]

You play the Godfather music or something.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you know what? That's a good idea. We'll do some Brett music. Let me get your junk in there. Good Christ, this thing is loaded with. All right, here we go. All right, here's Brett with information.

[Brett Vesely]

DJ B Nonstop has a generic condition or genetic condition characterized by facial, hand and arm abnormalities. I got through that pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

See? Abnormalities, but go ahead. I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

Common features include underdeveloped cheekbones, a small lower jaw, and hand and arm abnormalities. Got that word again.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, here's the thing. Now Brady and I can discuss. So far, okay, this is a thing I don't know I've ever seen, but I think you would recognize it nearly immediately. They have tiny little jaws and baby hands, right?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And this guy's a dj. I think Brady dated a girl that had some of this, right? Did you have a tiny arm? She had a baby arm. Did you ever find out what the name of her thing was?

[Brady]

Baby arm.

[John Holmberg]

We're gonna find out. We're gonna find out the official name in just a second.

[Brett Vesely]

All right? Such as missing malformed thumbs. This condition is commonly known as.

[John Holmberg]

Told ya.

[Brady]

There we go.

[Brett Vesely]

It's N Word syndrome.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's naggers. It's naggers. Syndrome.

[Brett Vesely]

I know, but I couldn't get through.

[John Holmberg]

And I knew he could not tell us about it because he laughs at everything that's close to racist. And you make. This is. You make things that aren't racist really racist. I knew I was interested in this, and I.

[Brett Vesely]

Look, that was interesting.

[John Holmberg]

I googled naggers, and it made me. Stop it. And it made it feel like I was doing something wrong because of you. Prior to you, I would have been able to go right through that website and not. You have ruined it. You've made me racist. Where there's no racism.

[Brett Vesely]

No, there's no racist.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. You have done it. You have made me a bigot. Where there is no bigotry. Nagger syndrome has been around for.

[Brady]

And Dr. Naggers, he's the one who.

[John Holmberg]

Who kind of had it named after him. And it's not hilarious. I knew he couldn't hear. Where's he from? No, no, no. See, that's what I'm talking about. So if you have that, I apologize. Brett finds your disease hilarious. I do. No, you've ruined it. And I knew this would happen. He's ruined.

[Brady]

I just figured out Brett kind of gets, like, Shaggy from Scooby Doo.

[John Holmberg]

Me, too. Scoot. He's got nagger's disease. What's so funny? I don't know. It sounds like it's almost bad. It's not, though. It's not. And we have to get past. We have to be adults when we meet someone with naggers, because now. Stop it. Now you're just celebrating.

[Brady]

No, I'm not.

[Brett Vesely]

I was learning.

[John Holmberg]

Right? We were.

[Brady]

The entire time you're thinking, oh, that's a person with a birth defect.

[John Holmberg]

That's what she was saying, right? Yeah, that's true. And you can develop over time. And we learn that, and then we find out what it's called. And if anyone in Brett's family ever got diagnosed with this, the doctor. Look, it's very serious. You're going to see a deterioration in bone. Their hands will shrink. Impossible. Even their thumbs will disappear. What was he got, doc? What's he got? I'm afraid he's got nagger's disease. This is not a funny moment, sir. And then you'd hear people saying that all the time. They'd walk around, it's like, what's wrong with your hands? My naggers. It's not bad, but he makes it bad. People are confused on whether or not they should call in and complain or not. And I would say we're not saying anything bad. We're not. I didn't say anything. No, nobody has said a bad thing at all. But you have ruined words for people.

[Brett Vesely]

I didn't say anything.

[John Holmberg]

That's my point. You don't have to. You treat it like a child. Grow up, Brett Presley. Breathe.

[Brady]

We're gonna do Brett, so.

[John Holmberg]

No, don't you start. Charity. You've been thinking.

[Brady]

Charity.

[John Holmberg]

Be terrible.

[Brady]

Raise money for that.

[John Holmberg]

For that. Exactly, Brett. For that. We'll call it Brett for that. You know, we gotta freeze this, and then little palms can't accept cash anyway.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, and they even reformatted it for me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the guy said, I reformatted the last sentence, Brett. Because it would have said it earlier. So the guy who wrote it clipped out what it's called because they started the article with that and he put it at the end. It's extremely rare. Yeah, it's extremely rare. It's not hilarious. No, it's not bad, Brett. Anyway, this is what we work with. This is what we work with.

[Brady]

Sorry. If you have it and you're listening.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. Right now you're. And they're me too. And those nager sufferers are. Why is it. And they're trying to type with her tiny little hands a complaint letter. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no. I don't need these emails. Guy said I have it. I had to quit my job. Now I can't pay my bills. Nope. Okay. It didn't get. All right, all right.

[Brady]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

All right, good. He didn't take advantage of you, Andrew. Anyway, it's not. It's not bad. It wasn't bad, but I knew Ryan.

[Brett Vesely]

Wanted to know where. No, he's guessing where he's from.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. I'm not that. We're not reading any of the emails because they're worse. And this is your fault. Again. It's not my fault.

[Brett Vesely]

I didn't write this stuff.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's your fault that we can't talk about adult things in the room. And that's usually my fault, but this one is especially yours. That's your category. No way. Every time you see Brett at the grocery store, if he's smiling and laughing, it's because he just walked by the Spick and span. I guarantee it. I guarantee it. And then he gets to the next aisle, he's nips crackers and falls to the floor.

[Brett Vesely]

There's one that came through.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm not. Yeah, now because of you, we have to call it, like, N word syndrome. And it's Called. But it's not called. Because that is bad. You're horrible.

[Brett Vesely]

Now people are sending me pictures of dinosaurs.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know which one. I know. All right, Israel, this is not. This doesn't even make sense. This email. This is caused by Brett. Is that these tiny handed people have bad credit. How come they can get a hellcat? That's just not. You're awful. You're all terrible. I'm the good one in the room. I'm the decent human being that can get through a story like that in a room of adults. It would have been fun. Maybe somebody would have looked over and gone. But it would have been testing the rest of the room going, am I the only. I'm the only jackass. Okay, we're. Well, the thing about you is you don't try to control that. No, no. Somebody will say something at a table next to us in a restaurant. They'll literally say something like, well, my son just bought a hellcat. And he'll go, and it's not bad. You can own a hellcat.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, I gotta turn around, see who it is.

[John Holmberg]

But because of the Internet, he thinks hellcats are hilarious. And in the Internet, sometimes it's like, damn it, that's funny.

[Brett Vesely]

MK says, don't worry, John, nobody that.

[John Holmberg]

Has it's up yet.

[Brett Vesely]

You won't get any complaints.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's not what. This disease you've caused. I didn't do anything. We can't have it. We can't have. We can't have an adult show just.

[Brett Vesely]

Reading a serious news story of a moment.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, we started the whole show giving Toledo all of our love for this and then this happens. I didn't expect you to get this far with it, but terrible, terrible.

[Brady]

Thought maybe there'd be a little chuckle.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. No, no, it's. I knew when I saw it, I'm like, you bastards. This is. We've got to change so many things just for. And I know he's not alone because I've got 500 emails immediately of people who are playing along. It says, good morning, fellas. How about a new segment called Brett's Word of the Week where he finds a word that sounds like something awful and you work it into conversations legitimately. We could not get through that. Eventually people would be like, all right, they're getting away with something, but we're not. It's just cuz he lasts. I swear, I've been.

[Brady]

If you do the word once you.

[John Holmberg]

Heard the word, it's over, it's over. And then we'd have to work it in for like, the word of the week would have to be worked into the show a few times just to try to use it in casual conversation.

[Brady]

He'd.

[John Holmberg]

He'd. Somebody would email and go, I know what they're doing. Like, we're really not doing anything. We just have a jackass amongst us who can't be adult enough to do this.

[Brady]

It's almost like Peewee's playhouse.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, except it's got a little twist. Nobody that has it is up yet, you bastards. Anyway, just thought I'd start today with that. You know, like I said, there's a lot of people going through what Toledo's going through, what Brady's got, what Brett's got with all the stuff that's going on in the world. And they need moments that make them laugh. Unfortunately, with Brett, it's usually something that makes you laugh and also brings great shame to your inner body.

[HMS Podcast Announcer]

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[John Holmberg]

You're just printing them up too. Smoking. All right. No, don't read that one. No to Ira riggs. No. Okay. A.J. reed. No, this one says I had that syndrome. Yeah, I'll work around it.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Said I had the syndrome Brett is talking about, and it made my dad leave. All right, that's enough. You guys are terrible. You needed that. Said, Brett and my grandfather would have loved hanging out together. Keep in mind, my grandfather was a racist Klansman. They have. They don't have this. But Brett doesn't have those views. No, no, no. He says they share the same views. No, they don't. Brett just knows all the racist stuff and finds it hysterical to the point where if it rhymes with it. He laughs. It's the Internet. What did you win?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's not good.

[Brett Vesely]

And AI's making it even.

[John Holmberg]

AI's making it awful. Yeah. It's just. Yeah. He doesn't. He doesn't laugh at actual racism.

[Brett Vesely]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

He laughs at the stuff that almost is and is. You know, why'd they name it that? And then it spreads. Best day ever. And to me, it's deeply concerning because it's. Now I read it and I go, there's no way he's getting through that. So now I can play the game at home. And I. And I kind of hate you for it, but what are you gonna do? That's how we start today, you bastard. Anyway, I don't even know where to go after that, but it is a thing. I did see another story that won't make Brett laugh that was very interesting. And they. They showed an. There was an ad in a magazine 30 years ago that basically said, in 30 years. They were talking about an investment firm, said in 30 years, a burger is going to cost a burger and fries will be 16 bucks. Your average vacation will be 12,500, and your average car will be 65,000. And everybody back then Went. It's not even the inflation rate. That can't happen. Like not average truck today is $64,700. The average truck, average car is 48,000.

[Brady]

Yeah, 48 or 49.

[John Holmberg]

You know how much it was 30 years ago? This is what shocked me. The average car in 1995. Take a shot.

[Brady]

30 years ago? Yeah, 20,000.

[Brett Vesely]

No, up. I'm on 25.

[John Holmberg]

16. Because you gotta remember there was a bunch of like four thousand dollar options, like really cruddy ones. So the. And the most expensive 20 was probably your average middle, like, you know what I mean? You get rid of the low, you get rid of the high and then you start working into that 16 to 30 was because I remember my parents bought a car in the 90s and it was like $31,000 and people like, you're out of your mind.

[Brady]

Decked out.

[John Holmberg]

It was full. It was a Jeep. It was full.

[Brett Vesely]

I think my dad in 93 bought his 93 Cobra, which were limited edition Mustangs for like 21.

[John Holmberg]

It's crazy. Well, my first Jeep and this is going. And then. So then it kind of dawned on me. I'm now at that age where I can go back and go when I was a boy. Oh yeah, that. I always used to make fun of that. That was a nickel. And my grandma used to say that. I remember talking to my ex wife's grandparents and I told them how much we were renting the house for and Pasadena and it was the year 2000 and his name was Jack McKinney. He has real soft voice, he talk real slow, but he was all there. So where do you get the house for now? He had a house in Ventura, California on a hill that was by Two Tree Hill and it used to be Five Tree Hill. But a bunch of vandals cut three of them down. So it was this really cool giant mountain with two big trees sitting on top of it. So he sat down at the base of that. Now one of the windows was the ocean. It was kind of far off, but ocean views. How much do you pay a month for that? I said, well, right now, and keep in mind it's the year 2000. We're at 1950amonth pretty high for rent. And he goes, how much space is in that home? That's 1400 square foot house. Is it a big lot? No, it's a postage stamp. We have nothing. You know how much I bought this house for? I don't want to hear it, old man.

[Brett Vesely]

You're gonna piss me off.

[John Holmberg]

And he goes, we took a, we took about a year to save for it. Then we got her for $3,700. I'm like, the whole house. You piece of. I was so mad at him. And then I realized in 19, in the year 2000, he was talking about a home in 1940. So the gap is pretty huge. But he got it for 3,600 bucks because the city didn't even exist. He was like one of the first people that bought it. And he stayed in the damn thing till that he died in that thing years later. Unbelievable. So you start looking at that and you hear old people saying, I used to cost this.

[Brady]

Okay, 1987, I bought my first new car. Ford Tempo.

[John Holmberg]

Ooh, Coupe. Oh, you were not trying, you were trying to not get laid.

[Brady]

$8,750.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, my first Jeep, my dad, brand new. My dad bought it in 1986, let my sister drive it for a little while. And it was absolutely brand new Jeep CJ7. And it was seven $100 brand new, had nothing in it, which is what I loved about it. And what are Jeeps now?

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, I know they're stupid.

[John Holmberg]

Look, I, that's the one thing that's keeping me from wanting a new Jeep. I like them a lot, but to get anything on them, you're in 75. It's crazy. And then if you want to get it, like they do a good job of making them off the lot bigger. They used to just give you, you know, donut tires and like go get them and leaf spring suspension and terrible stuff like that. And then you'd have to go shocks and all that. You'd put another two or three grand into it, which was half price of the car. It's crazy. And that's why they always said they held their value so well, is because you bought it for seven grand, you could sell it for 12, you know, because you added some stuff into it. So now that's not good. Jeeps right now you're going to be, it's going to be 80 grand. And I just don't, I just don't have the, I don't know, something about the way I am. And that's my age going back on. I don't think I can justify buying a Jeep for $80,000 even though they're worth it because they're loaded with stuff. It's weird. But yeah, now I'm at that age where my, my pet, my dad always tells me his first house he bought was $19,000. And that was 1974. 19 grand. And then it went up like he was so happy because it went up to like 27:30. By the time he sold it, it was like 35, 000. It's like we made a killing on that thing.

[Brett Vesely]

It was like my dad told me we bought our house in Mesa. 79 or something like that. 78, I think. I think he said it was like 40.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's crazy.

[Brett Vesely]

45. And then when I told him how much we paid for our house and Dobson ranch, he's like, What?

[John Holmberg]

I know.

[Brady]

25.

[Brett Vesely]

Too many zeros on this house.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. 25 grand for your place.

[Brady]

4,000 square feet.

[John Holmberg]

Huge.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that's big.

[John Holmberg]

That's huge. It's insane. Yeah, we. My parents house was I think maybe 1300, 1400 square feet in Lowell, Indiana.

[Brady]

Here's the Tempo.

[John Holmberg]

That's it. Yeah. You. You were. You bought it with you in cars you had. And still to this day, although you've stepped it up nicely with these families, you've been buying awful cars. A lot. That is not a good first car to own the outback.

[Brett Vesely]

What was almost a sales deal.

[Brady]

That's what that was.

[John Holmberg]

It is a. That is a dry vagina mobile.

[Brett Vesely]

That is sand sports sil.

[Brady]

When I show up with carpet samples.

[John Holmberg]

Oh man. Yeah. You were doing everything you could to not get laid. I pulled in. In the new Ford sand panties. You might have seen me pull up and all the ladies ran away. Yeah. That is not a. You were not. You get a date, you pull up to that girl's house, she's like, oh, he's awful.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm bloated.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm really bloated. And my period started like real heavy flow. Also, I'm a lesbian. Also Ford temp. What were your other options?

[Brett Vesely]

And you bought it new.

[John Holmberg]

A horse.

[Brady]

Yeah, it was new.

[John Holmberg]

You walked. You lost half the value of driving off a lot in a Ford Tempo. Yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody went with you that day, did they?

[Brett Vesely]

It was a hand me down car. Like it was half sold car.

[John Holmberg]

Here you go.

[Brett Vesely]

Take that.

[John Holmberg]

Great deal. But he bought a brand new Ford Tempo.

[Brady]

I had my college mobile. The.

[John Holmberg]

But that was 19th.

[Brady]

It was a Buick Skylark.

[John Holmberg]

Good Christ. Why Were you always 60?

[Brady]

Floated with the pillow tops, seats, the brome edition.

[John Holmberg]

It's. It's any wonder all he did was dry hump anybody till he was 30. And those poor girls were just trapped underneath him. Yeah. Why in the world would you seek out a Ford Tempo? I've seen you do this before. There's something about you in cars. Where you. You get your eye on something awful?

[Brady]

Yeah, I didn't shop too often.

[John Holmberg]

I just went in there and you liked wagons. I knew that about you. Like, way back in the day when you bought that Outback and you said, oh, he's been a wagon guy. Like, that's what. Not yet. Like, you're a single. You're a strapping young man. That had to come from my dad, who liked wagons.

[Brady]

But of course, the company car would always be a wagon.

[John Holmberg]

And then you went out and bought that Outback, and were you upset when Jim Wilson and I got out of the car and saw you get out of that green Outback and we started laughing? No. And you had just purchased it and we thought you were kidding.

[Brady]

No, because I knew it was a sweet ride.

[John Holmberg]

No, it wasn't a sweet ride. It wasn't at all. We literally got out of the car. You liked it. And he said that. We thought he was kidding. Sweet bride. I'm like, when does your car get out of the shop? And I gave you that thing. No, I just got it. Do you have nagger's disease? No, this is my car. I'm serious. Like. No, I know, but when do you give it back? Because this is not. No, I'm driving this. I purchased it with hard earned money.

[Brady]

Gotta go pick up the Indigo Girls.

[John Holmberg]

And then he said the thing that made Jim and I realize he's serious. It's got two moon roofs. Like, we were crazy. There's only one moon. What do you need two windows for it for?

[Brady]

Weather band.

[John Holmberg]

It's got a weather band in there and tells you the weather all the time. Yeah, it's. You're in Arizona, it's hot. You're not gonna need that.

[Brett Vesely]

What's the worst car you bought?

[John Holmberg]

That's it. Well, that may be the original Avalanche. That was made of plastic. Oh, no. The Honda Element.

[Brady]

That was Ronnie.

[John Holmberg]

You drove that an awful lot. Because she hated it the second it came home.

[Brady]

No, she loved that car.

[John Holmberg]

You were driving it a lot.

[Brady]

Not a lot, because.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, it was.

[Brady]

I'm like, you want to get that? That's.

[John Holmberg]

I was in that a lot. Because you took it only one time you're in it. BS we took it to lunch a bunch. Because every time you drove it, we wanted to be in the joke car because it had stadium seating. We still don't understand that.

[Brady]

Because I had.

[John Holmberg]

I was in there.

[Brady]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I sat in the back of that a lot.

[Brady]

No way.

[John Holmberg]

At least seven or times. I was in the back seat of that car, giggling and laughing when we drove to lunch.

[Brady]

Because she just didn't, you know, the avalanche was too big for her.

[John Holmberg]

The Avalanche.

[Brady]

That's why I didn't, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Awful. That was a bad one. That was a dumb purchase. And the Outback was probably a dumb person. The Honda Element. Honda Element was one. Slight. Barely. I mean, just. If it was a photo finish of bad cars, it was one ahead of the Pontiac Aztec, which I'm shocked you didn't end up with. And thank God that that big giant guy that worked with us named Double D bought a Pontiac Aztec. And you heard the ridicule. You heard the ridicule before he and Bobby, you could get it. Yeah, because the back end of that thing turned into a tent. And I thought, this has Brady written all over it. That would have been a feature.

[Brady]

It was me at one time. You were going after that Tesla truck.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Cuz I told you why. I know they're ugly, but it's. It harkens back to the. If it was a toy when I was a kid, I'd have wanted it. And now I'm a kid as an adult and they built 70s futuristic toys as real cars. I want to, I want to play with that. Then the price tag hits and you're like, I'm not spending if this thing is not playing with it. I'm not playing for $130,000. I'm not playing with that giant silly toy. I still see him on there and I'm like, oh, if that was just a little toy, seven year old John Holmberg would have been crying at the drugstore toy store that my mom would not buy that for me.

[Brady]

No, put that back.

[John Holmberg]

Put it back. I'm not. I would. That's all bad.

[Brett Vesely]

Now that you see him all the time, are, are you regretting the decision or are you happy now?

[John Holmberg]

Seven year old me still goes, God, that's cool. Like seven year old. And I don't think they're good looking at all. I just want to play with it. I want to, I want to push it around. And then you realize I could drive it. So I said, screw it. Listen to your inner you. And then I saw the price tag. I'm like, that's just dumb. But it's still smarter than a Ford Tempo.

[Brady]

No way.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No way.

[Brady]

Practical.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Dumb. That's the last thing you need to be in your 20s is practical. Yeah. The sport, it had a little extra in it. Four liter's got a banger in it. Sport mode.

[Brady]

Parlayed that into the Isuzu space cab pickup truck.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh my God. Well, how did you ever get laid.

[John Holmberg]

When you were young? You didn't.

[Brett Vesely]

What year was that Tempo? Let's pull this up.

[Brady]

87 silver.

[John Holmberg]

They were off. It was the K car with a little curve on it. They were the. They were the answer to Chrysler kicking everybody's ass. The Tempo came out. It was that same thing as the. We just have to make this basic. It was the original Altima. Came out around then. And they started all that stuff and those terrible. Kind of just gray like almost like Russian cars. All the roads were filled with the same basic car. Yeah. There was nothing good about that. You're looking at a picture. First cars are usually something that isn't that practical but kind of cool because you're still developing who you are. You knew then. I'm a 63 year old man. I got a car that says so. Yeah. Nothing about that was eye catching. Oh my God. Brady. You. You purchased that off the lot.

[Brady]

That wasn't it.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty close. I remember. That's a Ford Tempo. You're saying that's an 80?

[Brady]

The closest one.

[John Holmberg]

That's an 87.

[Brett Vesely]

That's the newer 87 interior. You said 87, right?

[Brady]

Yeah. But that's still a nice interior right there.

[John Holmberg]

I think.

[Brady]

That one. Yep, that's it.

[Brett Vesely]

Sweet.

[John Holmberg]

You purchase that with your own money without being dared or having Turismo having lost a bet. I love that. Somewhere out there's a bunch of incels that have started the Tempo archives page.

[Brett Vesely]

There's the Mercury version.

[John Holmberg]

Mercury. And it was. Remember the Mustang was the exact same body design that Ford ruined all their cars in the mid-80s. All of them. And Brady wanted one. Good Christ. That's an ugly car. We may have. I didn't know you had that four cylinder. No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't. It wasn't just downhill with you in the driver's seat.

[Brady]

And it was a four speed.

[John Holmberg]

It was a stick shift. Yeah. Oh my God. Carpet sales not too good that year.

[Brett Vesely]

Man, you should.

[Brady]

We spun it right to the Isuzu.

[Brett Vesely]

Had to put a few more hours in to kiss. 12:30. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Some more.

[Brett Vesely]

Job fair.

[John Holmberg]

That was back when he was selling floors to people. Rugs and wood. There it is. Oh, somebody put us put some spoilers on it. That is uglier than you're out. But you should have gotten an original Hellcat. You'd have been a much cooler lesbian. The Tempo was for lesbians in the 80s. And Brady swung that around in the late 90s got another lesbian car. Good lord said. Hey, John. It seems Brady loved the Taylor Swift of cars. In the 80s it was. She's the Taylor Swift of cars. Yes. It gets you where you're going, but I don't get it. And it's. I don't get why so many of them are selling. It's. It's okay. But if you were going out with friends and stuff and like, we're gonna go out tonight to bars, and I know you didn't do a lot of that, but you go out to, like, pick up broads or go out on single guy night. None of your friends were like, let's take the tempo. Never.

[Brady]

Yeah. Not too often.

[John Holmberg]

No. You. You didn't pile the dudes in the tempo on a fun night.

[Brady]

More than you think.

[John Holmberg]

No, once is more than I think.

[Brady]

Or I'm driving the other car.

[John Holmberg]

What's the other car?

[Brady]

Who's ever car.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's what I'm saying. A cool guy's car. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Here, we can pick you one up.

[John Holmberg]

Here, Brady, you want a Ford Tempo?

[Brett Vesely]

3, 600 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, they've only got 90. It's a newer one, only dropped in value. $3,000.

[Brady]

That's no Tempo sport.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, it is. Exactly. I like it. They'd even try to put, like, hubcaps on the wheels. They just said leave it. That is the ugliest vehicle I've ever seen. I think it's got a Christmas tree air freshener in it. Did yours have that too?

[Brady]

Did it come with that 90 base cab? Isuzu 90.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. I like that you call it an Isuzu. That's also somebody. Somebody who's 63. That's an Isuzu.

[Brady]

My Italian.

[John Holmberg]

One of them Jap Italian fixtures. Zuzu. Yeah. The space cap. What was. What was the great feature of the space cap?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it had the. That. Oh, my God. You were a lesbian for almost 20 years. You had an Isuzu space cap. I just. I remember those difference.

[Brady]

It was blue.

[John Holmberg]

His name. You didn't have the. The gray. Kick ass gray. Two Tone. I did.

[Brady]

I had the blue.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, but it had the gray on the bottom.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The awful Smurf blue. Or it was that weird sky blue that you were driving a couple weeks ago. But was it royal blue or space blue? Sky blue? What are we looking at? It's kind of lesbian blue. That's what I'm guessing.

[Brett Vesely]

That's what I'm going with.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Lesbian blue is not a Phrase.

[Brady]

It wasn't a delicate shade of blue.

[John Holmberg]

Smurf blue metallic?

[Brady]

Navy, maybe like that blue?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, no, too dark on that one. Too blue.

[Brady]

That's too blue.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. Oh, man. Oh, it's. I see what. I see. Which one it was. Yep, that's the. It's off. That's awful. I would expect a man in overalls who's about 71 to climb out of that. Not a. Not a man in his mid-20s kicking ass selling carpets. I'm a college graduate. I see your parents wasted all their money. Yep.

[Brady]

Loaded that baby up and drove from Milwaukee to Arizona.

[John Holmberg]

And then. And then it. And then lesbians stole it.

[Brady]

I was downtown and I got stolen.

[John Holmberg]

Did it get stolen? No. And then your next car was probably the. Getting close to the outback you had. You spun cars a lot though. I used to get. You can see why I understand all the ridicule. You go, I don't know why people. I'm turning a lot of heads with this. I'm getting too much attention. I better get a new one.

[Brady]

That went to the. Then it went to Mazda 626, five door turbo.

[John Holmberg]

You got a hatchback girl car in the early 90s. You said five door.

[Brady]

Yeah, well, because the back fifth hatchback thing, they called that hatchback.

[John Holmberg]

It was. Yeah, well, they called it that because it was selling a man a hatcher.

[Brady]

That would have been a 91, maybe something like that.

[John Holmberg]

Or even the Mazda dealer was like, so we're gonna throw in a baby seat for free. Since you read. I don't have any kids. What the do you want this car for? Well, it's because it's cool. No, it's not. I sell these and I know it's not cool. The Mazda 691, fifth door. Because the whole back end lift is white. So you could just got a smoking.

[Brady]

Deal from Armin Verde.

[Brett Vesely]

I would hope so.

[John Holmberg]

I would hope you got a deal where it was almost free. There it is. Another lesbian vehicle.

[Brady]

It was more tricked out. Was it kind of like that blue one in the corner?

[John Holmberg]

You know how they trick those out most of the time? The fish, air fresheners. And then like in the back they see how many lesbians they can stack surprisingly quick. Yeah. To speed.

[Brady]

Had that rotary engine with a turbo.

[John Holmberg]

You had. You started poorly with your car selections right off the bat. What's the worst car you've ever had?

[Brett Vesely]

I think I had an 83 Datsun pickup truck.

[John Holmberg]

It was all brown. You bought an old beater. Yeah, but those are when they. When they're old and goofy, it's like, there's nothing you can do about it. They're supposed to suck.

[Brett Vesely]

That was my second. No, it was my third car. First car was 64 Fairway. Oh. I had an 80. I had an 81 Volkswagen rabbit pickup truck.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You were buying cars to be funny. Brady was doing it and didn't know it. You both bought hilarious cars, and you didn't know it. Yeah. My dumb one was trading that Jeep CJ7 in for a 1990 Ford Bronco 2. Yeah, that was my lesbian.

[Brett Vesely]

It was a regular Bronco.

[John Holmberg]

I'd be all right. Regular Bronco was fine even then. Yeah. The Bronco 2 was like, all right. And it was sandalwood brown.

[Brett Vesely]

It was back when it wasn't wrapped up.

[John Holmberg]

It was a horrendous lesbian vehicle. And oddly enough, my dad made the deal that we get this, and I'll help you with it, but I get to use it. That was the deal with the Jeep, too. But he never did. I get to take it hunting and stuff. I'm like, okay. And so we always kind of had a deal where if I. If I got a car and he helped me with it, if he took it, it was his for hunting or outdoorsy stuff. So he's like, I'm going down to Mexico with Scott and Ron and the wives, and I want to take you, Bronco. Like, okay. The dickhead bought side street shrimp on the way back.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And the cooler leaked. The cooler leaked.

[Brett Vesely]

Got his attention now.

[John Holmberg]

Cool. Yeah. No. Brady wants to play this. And the cooler leaked all over the carpet in the back, and he left it there. He didn't clean it. So he comes back, parks it in the driveway, hits the couch. What a weekend. And it's 150 outside. I didn't know he'd spilled shrimp juice throughout the entire thing. Then it was an official lesbian car. You could not. It smelled. I'd rather have person die in my car than what he did to it. And I told him, like, if I ever did this to your car, you'd kill me. Watch your mouth. And I'm like, I didn't say anything bad. I'm just saying. You shrimped my vehicle, and now you're telling me I have. It's my responsibility to clean it. You're goddamn right. And he was. He just dug his heels in on how wrong he was. He still. You know what? I need to call him. He still never apologized for that. He took my head. A big red Dodge Ram truck. And he Wanted to move some stuff. Can I borrow the truck? Like, yeah. Good. And he co. Signed for that one for me. That was when I was like, 23.

[Brett Vesely]

So you had to. At that point.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. So I'm like, anything you need. You're even great, you know? And this is. I've had the truck for three or four years. This point. Sure. And he takes his stupid. Those straps that tighten up tight on straps.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And he put them into the little hooks in the. In the tie down in the bed. In the bed of the truck. And he's tightening so much that it's. The metal is bending the square that you put the thing in. Like, hey, you're bending it. It's a truck. What's the matter with you? Like, I don't want it all dinged up. You would kill me if I did this. Watch your mouth. What are you talking about? Watch my mouth? You're wrecking my car. And he puts it right back. And I told my mom at the time, hey, what's the deal here? He just dented my car. Remember the time that I didn't wash the tires right and I wasn't allowed to drive ever again? You're not gonna drive till you're 18. Leaving my car looking like that. All I did was. And then I accidentally scratched his work truck.

[Brady]

The El Camino?

[John Holmberg]

No, the El Camino was not a work truck. That was sweet. He used to get pickup trucks for work. He had the option of getting, you know, executive wagons. And like, nice guy. He always took the work truck, and I scratched the back of it once with rivets in my pants. He goes, sitting on the back of the thing, you sliding around with your goddamn pants with the rivets and the Wii. And you gotta look what you did. I'm like, I'm sorry. I didn't know they would do that. Well, you're never gonna drive again. I'm like, I'm 14. You're not driving until you're 18. At least. Cause I scratched how to respect a car. I scratched your construction work truck. Yep. Meanwhile, he's. Tighten that thing up. The truck is buckling. I think it's tight enough. I think you've smashed the entire payload. It's a truck. He looks at me like, I'm the idiot. He'll pay me. I'm calling him later today. Hey, I need two apologies out of you. One, you shrimped my Bronco and turned my lesbian car into super lesbian car. You didn't need anything. You weren't getting laid. Like, yeah, I know. I didn't need any help not getting laid. What? Who told you about that? You did. There's a leak in it. Oh, terrible.

[Brett Vesely]

So he was real picky with his vehicles then.

[John Holmberg]

He was picky with his cars, Right? He'd wreck yours and bring it back. Something's wrong with it. He took it for my Jeep. CJ7. Four wheeling once and busted. Something came back. Something's wrong with your car. I'm like, well, it wasn't when you took it. Yeah. Nope. On the way up. I noticed. No, you didn't. Yeah, yeah, no, it was bad going up. You got to take better care of that thing. Like, did you make it there and back? Yep. Then nothing's wrong with it. What'd you break? I didn't. His buddy Larry was in the car with him. Your dad smashed into something pretty hard up there, like four wheeling. He's not real good at what he's doing. Like, he hit something that's underneath. I think he got an oil pan leak. Sure enough, I take it to the dealership. Like, yeah, you hit something under here. I'm like, yeah, that must have happened way before my dad took it up the lake Chevron and ruined it on a hill. Now this is definitely a rock. I went back and I'm like, well, you hit something when you were four wheel. No, no, no, no. It was like that. Like he was a Jedi piece of garbage. I'm now mad at my dad for Brady's terrible car choices. I curse him.

[Brady]

You're not to go through high yellow.

[John Holmberg]

From order to. Yeah, I know. That'll be the problem. Excuse me. High yellow. Somebody's got to talk to the old man. You can't talk to old man right now. He. He just got diagnosed with naggers. Truth. Thank you. Broke full circle. That's how this works. Let's get a wake up song. Five, eight, five nine, eight hundred. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.