08-21-25 - Thursdays w/Former Dallas Cowboy OLineman Dale Hellestrae

Summary

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Podcast Summary

Podcast: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness
Episode: 08-21-25 – Thursdays w/Former Dallas Cowboy OLineman Dale Hellestrae
Date: August 21, 2025
Host(s): John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Guest: Dale Hellestrae (Former Dallas Cowboys O-lineman)

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Thursdays with Dale Hellestrae" dives into sports nostalgia, focusing on the Dallas Cowboys’ legacy, NFL pensions, the culture of public salaries for athletes, and lighthearted banter about aging, family, and end-of-life decisions. The hosts reminisce about the Cowboys’ Super Bowl years, discuss Netflix's new Cowboys documentary, reflect on Dale's career trajectory, and mix in dark humor about mortality and mental health, all while maintaining the show’s irreverent, comedic tone.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Cowboys’ Glory Days, The Netflix Documentary, and 30 Years without Success

• Cowboys’ Dominance & the “Forgotten” Dynasty

  • Dale notes that anyone under 40 might not remember the Dallas Cowboys’ glory years or even their last NFC Championship appearance. (04:41)
  • "For all you young folks...40 and younger don't know that the Cowboys used to be in Super Bowls." - John Holmberg (04:41)

• Reflections on the Netflix Docuseries

  • Dale discusses being included in the new Netflix Dallas Cowboys documentary.
  • He recalls forgetting some wild stories, only to have them resurface during interviews and while rewatching. (06:16)
    • "There's a lot... Like this guy's writing a book about Troy. He called me...and he brought up some stories that I'm like, oh yeah, Michael Irvin stabbed that guy." – Dale Hellestrae (06:16)
  • Dale is anxious as the series hasn’t reached the “troubled years” (i.e., White House, Deion years, team controversies).
    • The documentary so far only covers Jerry and Jimmy, their buy-in, and the early '90s.

• Jerry Jones’ Legacy and Team Decline

  • Both discuss Jerry Jones as Cowboys owner—from his lucky oil strike to firing Tom Landry and his refusal to step aside as GM.
  • "As smart as he is... you'd think he'd realize, I need to get somebody here to run the football side." – Dale Hellestrae (10:12)
  • Cowboys' franchise value: up from $140M to an estimated $15-20 billion. (10:37)

• A Legacy that Won’t Die (Literally)

  • They poke fun at the Cowboys’ inability to win since Dale left, with frequent reminders of the 30-year NFC Championship drought.

2. Dale Hellestrae’s NFL Memories & Unique Position in Football History

• The “Dale Curse” & Team Transitions
  • Dale jokes that teams suffered or flourished when he left or joined, e.g., SMU’s death penalty/post-Dale Cowboys success.
  • "Michael and Troy were with the Cowboys before they made the blockbuster trade for me...then I leave in 2000, and guess what? Have they had any success?" – Dale Hellestrae (16:43)
• Interactions with NFL Legends
  • Hellestrae tells a story of texting Jimmy Johnson about trades and being one of his “best”—prompting an Al Davis six-pack beer joke. (15:36–15:55)
  • When asked about friendship with Johnson, Dale deadpans: "Friends is a strong word...he's an isolationist." (16:02–16:09)

3. The Culture of Public Salaries for Athletes

• NFL Pensions and Public Curiosity
  • Dale breaks down his NFL pension: about $800 per year played, adding up to nearly $10K extra annually for his lengthy career. (17:29–18:12)
  • Early NFL pensions paid out far less—just $50/year played; this has improved in recent years.
  • Both reflect on the weirdness and discomfort of athletes' salaries being public record.
    • "I was raised that you never ask a man what he makes. Ever." – John Holmberg (19:21)
    • "Why should people know how much I weigh or how tall I am or...my salary?" – Dale Hellestrae (19:40)

4. Mortality, Aging, and Family (with Dark Humor)

• Electroshock Therapy and Mental Health Jokes

  • The group riffs on an anecdote about Brady’s grandmother undergoing electroshock therapy, spinning it into jokes about family secrecy, country clubs, and institutions of a bygone era. (20:19–22:48)

• End-of-Life “Contingency Plans”

  • Talk veers into uncomfortable hypotheticals about aging, pondering when they'd want a loved one to “pull the plug” if incapacitated.
    • Hellestrae: "I'm contemplating giving both my daughters one of those cyanide pills or whatever that can kill..." (23:51)
    • Holmberg: "My dad and I have a deal...if either of us are told by a doctor he'll never wipe himself again... we're going to do the pillow over the other guy's face." (24:45)
  • Ultimately both echo, with some sincerity behind the laughs, that they're not interested in life if incapacitated, but remain hopeful for healthy, active aging.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Netflix Documentary’s Nostalgic Value:

  • "It's great...for my daughters, son-in-law...watching some of this stuff, and I think a lot of people forgot...how good we were. We were great." – Dale Hellestrae (11:33)

• On NFL Pensions:

  • "When I first got in the league in '85...the NFL pension was $50 per year you played. If you play four years...you get $200 a month when you turn 55." – Dale Hellestrae (18:12)

• On Team Loyalty and Football’s Ruthlessness:

  • "I leave SMU, they get the death penalty. ... I leave the Cowboys, no more Super Bowls, I leave the Ravens, and they won one." – Dale Hellestrae (15:03-16:03)

• On Aging and Control:

  • "I'm contemplating giving both my daughters one of those cyanide pills or whatever...so the first time they have to change me...give me the pill." – Dale Hellestrae (24:00)
  • "My dad and I have a deal...if either of us are told...he'll never wipe himself again...pillow over..." – John Holmberg (24:45)
  • "Age is just a number. It's what you do. You got to keep moving." – John Holmberg (25:17)

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Key Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |-----------|----------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:44 | Dale’s first appearance; intro to Cowboys standup and doc talk | | 04:41 | Discussion: Younger fans don’t recall Cowboys’ Super Bowl era | | 05:31 | Dale on getting random texts about Netflix documentary | | 06:16 | Forgotten wild stories from the Cowboys’ heyday | | 07:21 | Preview of upcoming, more scandalous documentary episodes | | 10:12 | Jerry Jones, ego, and refusal to cede football ops control | | 14:59 | The “Dale Curse” and Cowboys’ drought | | 17:29 | NFL pensions explained | | 19:21 | Public salary discussion & athlete privacy | | 20:19 | Brady’s family & electroshock therapy story | | 23:51 | Cyanide pill jokes; end-of-life "deals" | | 25:17 | "Keep moving" – positive aging wrap-up |

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Tone & Style

The conversation is rapid-fire, irreverent, and peppered with both affection and ruthless zingers. Holmberg leads with snark and skepticism, while Dale matches with laconic deadpan and self-aware exaggeration. Adult humor and darker subjects are handled with tongue-in-cheek camaraderie, never letting the mood slip from wry, locker-room storytelling.

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For First-Time Listeners

Even if you’ve never tuned in before, this episode offers a crash course in locker room nostalgia, football inside-baseball, and the uniquely comedic worldview of Holmberg and company. You’ll hear behind-the-scenes NFL stories, aging athlete realities, and the kind of teasing only old friends can get away with—plus a few not-quite-PC asides about football, family, and facing the inevitable.

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Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Dale Hellestrae]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on.

[Dale Hellestrae]

No, no, he's not. He's not evil.

[John Holmberg]

He's just a bit rude. All right, let's get right to this, shall we? Brian Pose is awesome. Great dude and one guy much to look at. Neither are you.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Sorry. Dale Mim 60 year olds.

[John Holmberg]

Here we go again with the male model known as Dale Hellistrate. Brian's at standup live tonight. Also letting you know that the, the code for Shane Gillis's show is starting in. He's a good one. You like Shane Gillis. He hosted the ESPYs this year. Very funny guy. You didn't like it?

[Dale Hellestrae]

I, I, I didn't watch. I don't watch this.

[John Holmberg]

I don't either. But his stand, his, all the other stuff was good. He's funny. He's. He's killing it right now. And he's got that show tires. He's coming here. He's going to be here December 5th at Phoenix Arena. A lot of people emailing, saying the code isn't just live, it's SG Live. Okay, here's the deal. It is that. I didn't know that, but it's also live. They're trying to track how many KUPD listeners are there. So just use live. So it starts at 10. You can do the SG live if you want. I don't really care. But that's their way of tracking whether or not you got it from me or if it was through Gillis's site. So just go through us. Make us look like superstars. That would be nice. If not, we don't care. It doesn't, doesn't put any money in our pocke, take any out. So it's just a credibility thing with the club. They know, but they're just trying. They're making me sing for my supper. Coleman. That's how that works.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Spent the last couple days up in Flagstaff. You did Gulf Pine Canyon.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and wow, you're just starting a conversation. I'm in the middle of something.

[Dale Hellestrae]

No, you're done. You're begging. You're begging your list. Your listeners can't afford to buy.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, you go to Shane Gillis. You shut your mouth. Not Sean Gillis. Shane Gillis.com. use the code LIVE. You'll get the presale for the next 23 hours, starting at 10. Sorry, Dale, I didn't mean to interrupt your story. That's half through. The promotion for the thing we're doing just for me. There's no code that says Dale. And let me introduce you, dumbass. Dale Hellestre, three time world champion of the Dallas Cowboys. And like I said, we did a podcast. We're gonna start doing this podcast called that sports thing. We have no name for it. So it's like we kept calling it that during the thing. Like. Well, that's just the name. It's you and me and an insane person named Dave Nash.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Trip Tripp Reeb. Heard me talking about that. And he goes, come in here for a second.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Uh.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. You go, trouble, I gotta ask you a question. I'm like, about the podcast? And he goes, yes. And I'm like, what is it? And he goes, I gotta talk to you about the people you're hanging out with. And I'm like, what do you mean, Dale and Dave? I'm like, yeah, he's nuts. And I'm like, I know. That's the best part of it. It was like. And he kept. He kept going, what the are you thinking? I'm like, trust me, it's better than you thought. But it'll go out probably tomorrow. We'll get it out to everybody. I don't know how.

[Dale Hellestrae]

I don't know how it works.

[John Holmberg]

That's where we're stymied on this deal, is I don't know how to get it to anybody.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Well, we're at the mercy of. Some people are smarter.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. But I said on the podcast, dale, for all you young folks. And I mean young by, like, 40 and younger don't know that the Cowboys used to be in Super bowl.

[Dale Hellestrae]

No, they don't.

[John Holmberg]

40 and younger is the cutoff to where you're like, for sure.

[Dale Hellestrae]

It's been 30 years since they've been to an NSC champion, and you have.

[John Holmberg]

To be seven or eight years old to kind of start remembering Super Bowls, right? No, it's right on the cusp of 40 years. They call it America's Team. Yeah. 40 years.

[Dale Hellestrae]

I think a lot of people are watching this Netflix thing, and I. I'm a knucklehead. I don't know how popular Netflix is and all that, but I figured this was gonna be a pretty big hit, a big deal. Yeah. And I'm. I've gotten more text over the last three or four days of. Right. A little shot of me here, a little shot of me there at all. This is. It's a great document.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm hearing. It's really good. How many times can Jerry Jones tell this story well without feeling like it's just really sad?

[Dale Hellestrae]

I watched the first three episodes of the Netflix stuff. Yeah. And you're gonna hear some stuff that you never heard before.

[John Holmberg]

Why? How?

[Dale Hellestrae]

Well, because I don't think Jimmy and Jerry ever came out and told everybody how much they hated the espn.

[John Holmberg]

Well, maybe not that openly, but they didn't. In the last ESPN thing I saw, when they were basically saying, they didn't say, I hate him, but it was. No, we definitely had a falling out there's a. You know, there's just a different philosophy. And it was time for me to go.

[Dale Hellestrae]

And what's fascinating for me is a lot of that stuff I forgot about.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, really?

[Dale Hellestrae]

Like, there's a lot. Like this guy's writing a book about Troy. So he called me, he interviewed me for about an hour, and he brought up some stories that I'm like, oh, yeah, Michael Urban stabbed that guy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's when you.

[Dale Hellestrae]

I forgot about that. And, you know, hey, when this happened, I'm like, oh, my gosh, I forgot about that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestrae]

And I'm. Because I'm like, I said, episode three. It's the second after we win the first super bowl, we're going back for a repeat. And it held out for the first two games. I thought the first game was against the Buffalo Bills, but that was the second game.

[John Holmberg]

It was. And so the Bears was the first game.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Redskins.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was the Redskins. And a lot of people don't remember that. That was a team also.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Yes, yes. And so I look at it, I'm like, it's going to be kind of interesting for me to see some of these things.

[John Holmberg]

Now you're in it.

[Dale Hellestrae]

And there people are sending me screenshots of picking me out.

[John Holmberg]

Number 70, standing in the back. Oh, no, the camera's panning by.

[Dale Hellestrae]

You gotta be a quick pause.

[John Holmberg]

And a lot of it is blurry because it's moving so fast away from.

[Dale Hellestrae]

But what I'm. What I'm a little concerned about is they haven't gotten into our troubled years. The first two years were just happy, happy. The Dion years, White House years, the Switzer Switzerland.

[John Holmberg]

So you're still. So the first three episodes are Jerry.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Jimmy, and basically the first two years.

[John Holmberg]

So the first one's Jerry buying the team.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Probably.

[John Holmberg]

Background on Jerry.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

See, now I know almost all of this. So I like. To me, it's. This is. And again, if I. As a Steeler fan. And we've got some glory days.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to watch documentaries.

[Dale Hellestrae]

You don't. You wouldn't want to see a documentary on the 70s.

[John Holmberg]

I've seen it. And then we've had success since. I don't.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Cowboys haven't.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I mean. I would. I would be miserable if we were still telling that story and the people are still in play. Like, you know, if it's a different group and, you know, I mean, if you could dig up Art Rooney, the old guy. The old man, not junior today, and Dan Rooney, and hear their, like, where they were when that was going. And that's interesting. But it's the same dude.

[Dale Hellestrae]

It's the.

[John Holmberg]

Jerry was there for this, and he's still there. Let's talk about that.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Well, I think you find out stuff like how Jerry hit one gusher, and that's how he was able to buy.

[John Holmberg]

The Cowboys an accident.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestrae]

You know, and how this happened because of that. And again, what I've always tried to tell people. Because people are pissed at Jerry Jones from the day he fired Tom Lantry. So the Cowboys sucked.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they weren't.

[Dale Hellestrae]

But it would.

[John Holmberg]

But think of it in perspective, Dale. They hadn't been to an NFC championship game in six years when they fired Tom Landry.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Right. But they were. But they were. But they were 3 and 13 is last year. They're like 4 and 12. The year before that, they had one marketable guy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestrae]

In Herschel Walker.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestrae]

And it was going downhill. And Tom Landry. 72 years when it was tech shrimp.

[John Holmberg]

His run, but it was tech shram Tom Landry. They weren't going anywhere. And you got to give it to a team, especially back then, to. He leaves when he says he's leaving.

[Dale Hellestrae]

You can say that or you can say, you know what, and it's time to go. You're right. If you don't realize it's time to go. Guess what? I'm gonna give you a little nudge.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestrae]

And it's time. There'll be time when Chip comes in here and tells you it's time to go.

[John Holmberg]

I hope it's soon. When is. And by Chip, he means Trip. When. My point being, Jerry went in there and said, all right, this team's terrible. We're getting rid of the coach. We're getting rid of. Six years is too long to be in an NFC championship game.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

It's been 30.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Okay. So you can look at it from the documentary side to where it goes through the good times.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestrae]

The last 30 years. I have no.

[John Holmberg]

And Jerry's in charge. The executive producer is Jerry Jones. And as the guy not getting anything real from the next. The last 30 years.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Yeah. Last 30 years. And yet you would think, as smart as he is, business wise, that he would realize I need to get somebody in here to run the football side of the operation. And he hasn't put me out of the equation, and it won't be until he dies. So, I mean, Cowboy fans are like, sell the team. He's not selling.

[John Holmberg]

Selling anything. The ROI on that's better than the.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Oil 140 million to 12.2.

[John Holmberg]

Come on, billion. And that's a low estimate. That team sells for 20, goes on the market. 20 billion.

[Dale Hellestrae]

At least 15.

[John Holmberg]

At least 15. Somebody says Dale never has anything positive to say. It's like Eric came back in the studio. What?

[Dale Hellestrae]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I knew you'd like that one. Somebody else said you had the Sklar brothers on last week. And this week you have Posein and Dale. So twins two weeks in a row. Take that, Hellas Dre for your swing at the great Brian Posein. Yeah, it's an interesting thing. Cause the Cowboys stuff, I've heard that story so many times. I can't imagine Michael Irvin wants to rehash it again.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Troy Aikman.

[John Holmberg]

But they're all in it.

[Dale Hellestrae]

And supposedly Michael kind of bears his soul, talks about some of this stuff and. But he's done this, right? But obviously he's 60 now and we're talking about when he was 30 again. It's. It's interesting to me. It's great, like for my daughters.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Son in law. As they're watching some of this stuff and I think a lot of people forgot because it's been 30 years, how good we were. Right? We were great. Yes.

[John Holmberg]

A great football team.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

But if the packers started to do the Bart Star years and the same guy but was there, that's there now. You're like, jesus, get over.

[Dale Hellestrae]

But wait, I think when episodes four, five, six come out, it turns into like a novel or a movie or all the nonsense that went on.

[John Holmberg]

I would love to see that because there's not a lot of talk of that. I will say years. I was just saying that that team, as far as it wasn't like they didn't have a lack of talent. No, they've been good. They're should have been better. Steeler fans are furious that we haven't won a playoff game in 10 years. But we've been there seven times. They're still mad.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

There's an anger to we're good. Not good enough. The Cowboys seem to be like, this can go on forever.

[Dale Hellestrae]

You could win a lot of money back in 1996 if you said, okay. In 2025, the only NFC team that have not played in the NFC championship game.

[John Holmberg]

Name it Cowboys. It's only. Only one.

[HMS Podcast Announcer]

All right, HMS podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Well, just in case you haven't been paying attention or if you've been mia, we'll let you know that Frank Caliendo is going to be performing at the Desert Ridge Improv this Friday and Saturday night. So tune in. Frank's going to be in with the guys all week long and just maybe we'll have tickets for you to go catch Frank live up at Desert Ridge for the complete lineups and for Tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com hey, you want to win $979? Well, check this out. Handletheheat is back with another chance to win and another chance to check out a Holmberg special on the menu at Native Grillin Wings. That's right. Join the HMS Crew at Native Grill and Wings during one of our 4U brews for a chance to participate in Handle the Heat. That's Holmberg's hot wing eating contest. For details on all the contest rules, head to 98ku. Think you can handle the heat? Well, bring your appetite and find out. It's all brought to you by Native Grill and Wings.

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[John Holmberg]

I mean Detroit. And that's finally because of last year. Detroit is the only one other than them. Up until last year.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Commanders.

[John Holmberg]

The commanders popped in there.

[Dale Hellestrae]

The Cardinals.

[John Holmberg]

The Cardinals. Jesus, you're right.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Stop it.

[John Holmberg]

The Panthers have been to a Super Bowl.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Two of them and the Cowboys haven't.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's. It's a really.

[Dale Hellestrae]

John. It's a testament. I don't want to make it about me.

[John Holmberg]

Here we go. They can't let go, Dale.

[Dale Hellestrae]

I leave smu, they get the death penalty.

[John Holmberg]

You know what it is?

[Dale Hellestrae]

I. I believe the Bills lose four Super Bowls.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Michael and Troy were with the Cowboys before they made the blockbuster trade for me.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Fourth round for fourth round.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Right. I let that know. I think it was the seventh round pick.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you get traded for it? You got picked in the fourth and traded for seventh.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Yeah. Actually I sat the test cuz Jimmy Johnson one time was talking a Twitter thing and he was talking about his best trades.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestrae]

And John Giesick, one of my good friends to this day. Right. He named him as one of his best trades. I said, hey, hey, Jimmy, I thought you always told me I was the.

[John Holmberg]

You can still fire off to Jimmy Johnson.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Why are we not on the phone with what? You come in here with no guest and he goes.

[Dale Hellestrae]

And he goes, Dale, I think I gave Al Davis a six pack of beer.

[John Holmberg]

That's beautiful. Hold on a second. You are friends with Jimmy Johnson? Where? You can text him.

[Dale Hellestrae]

He's an oddball. I know.

[John Holmberg]

Is it him or you?

[Dale Hellestrae]

Friends. I don't know if he has any friends. Friends is a strong word.

[John Holmberg]

What does that mean?

[Dale Hellestrae]

He's just. He's a isolationist or whatever.

[John Holmberg]

I still have friends. Yeah. Leader of men. Isolationist. You're talking about me? Champion, but gray hair.

[Dale Hellestrae]

But to get back to my story, because you're interrupting me.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's bored.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Michael. Michael and Troy were the Cowboys in 89.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we got it, Dale.

[Dale Hellestrae]

You've. And then they traded for me in 90. And then what happened?

[John Holmberg]

He's still doing championship. Okay, then explain why the. Why all the other things started.

[Dale Hellestrae]

And then I leave in 2000 and guess what? Have they had any success?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then where'd you go in 2000?

[Dale Hellestrae]

Went to the Ravens. And we won two playoffs. A 11 playoff. And then.

[John Holmberg]

And then you got fired by the Ravens and they won a Super Bowl. I know. Yeah. I could. I might have an actual summit. It could be trouble. So you have. Yeah. So you left the Ravens and then they won one.

[Dale Hellestrae]

No, they won one the year before. Oh, so they won in 2000.

[John Holmberg]

They didn't need you is what I'm saying.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Well, they did need me to get through with all those good snaps.

[John Holmberg]

And then what happened? The three bad snaps.

[Dale Hellestrae]

It was horrible. The pension by Johnny that pens 800 bucks a month for the rest of my life.

[John Holmberg]

Extra. Yeah, just that one more year.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Yeah. I got three games in and they.

[John Holmberg]

Gave you $800 on top of what you were already gonna get.

[Dale Hellestrae]

So it's 800 for every year you play. You get about 800 bucks a month.

[John Holmberg]

Is that Right. That's pretty nice.

[Dale Hellestrae]

So what's that? 8 times 12?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Because that's 9, 600 bucks a year times however long my wife lives.

[John Holmberg]

It's only ten grand a year.

[Dale Hellestrae]

No, that just added on.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Added on. I was gonna say that will go to my wife when I pass away here in the next year or two and.

[John Holmberg]

Dig it.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So you played 16 years. Yeah. And then you get 9,600 a year.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Extra.

[John Holmberg]

Extra on top of the 15 years you were getting 800 for.

[Dale Hellestrae]

And it's over 15 years. They changed. You know, like when I first came in the league.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty nice number, Dale.

[Dale Hellestrae]

The NFL pension when I first got in the league in 85.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestrae]

$50 per year you played. So if you play four years.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Which you have to play to qualify.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Dale Hellestrae]

You get 200 bucks a month when you turn 55. You know, most guys play four years, right. They're 25, 26 years old.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestrae]

You gotta wait 30 years to get your.

[John Holmberg]

Can you get it early and get penalized? That's painful. And now it's ridiculous.

[Dale Hellestrae]

And I gotta give a shout to FLPA retired people or the nflpa because they've gone back and rectified that situation big time. It's really cool. And it's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's really. Actually very good. Why do you think, and does it bother you as an athlete that I can ask you that? How much did you make now a year off of that? And athletes have to give up their salaries. You ask me how much I make, and we're not even friends anymore.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Really.

[John Holmberg]

I just don't feel that that's a conversation that anyone needs to have. It changes the dynamic of friendships in a lot of cases.

[Dale Hellestrae]

You think so?

[John Holmberg]

I know so.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Well, I know because it's probably early 90s when they started posting salaries public.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[HMS Podcast Announcer]

It's ridiculous.

[John Holmberg]

And at this point, when you're making 41 million, it's a bragging thing. I'm fine.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

But most other. I mean, I was raised that you never ask a man what he makes, ever. It's none of your business.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Well, you make too much. Probably trip get in it.

[John Holmberg]

Probably. But I don't believe the words too much apply to salary. I think there can always be more, but, you know, I. You know, they make too much off of me, so I should make more.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Okay. Well, why should people know how much. How much I weigh or how tall I am or.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's football, though. That makes sense.

[Dale Hellestrae]

I just got three more and Again, it's not bragging. It's just real. Because I don't understand it. Why am I got three more letters? It's like, who's. How are you finding my address?

[John Holmberg]

The bathroom wall at the insane asylum. It makes sense to me now. I don't know if you heard us talking about that yesterday, but Brady told us that his grandfather used to give his grandmother electroshock therapy back in the day. Brady's Rockwellian. My grandfather did not give her. He did, too. He had to give the thumbs up for an insane asylum. They call it a hospital. They call it lunatic. It's a lunatic asylum.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Well, that's part of our problem in this day and age.

[John Holmberg]

They don't electrocute Brady's grandma.

[Dale Hellestrae]

They don't have those anymore.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Dale Hellestrae]

And they need it.

[John Holmberg]

But his grandpa used to send her in and give her. Light her up like a Tesla, pull the jumper cables out and go to senator home. She had mental illness. Really? Yeah. And Brady acts like I was. I was. You don't talk about five when she died. So I was really young. She was electrocuted. She was outside with a cat. She was. She was at the home when she died.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

But she choked. She was at a hospital and she choked.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Or was choked.

[John Holmberg]

First reaction. His whole family doesn't have it. You don't choke to death on medicine at a hospital.

[Dale Hellestrae]

No, that's just somebody.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Dale is. See, Brady, this is why you have to ask these questions.

[Dale Hellestrae]

You squirt a little medicine in her mouth, and then you.

[John Holmberg]

Then you lock her up. Well, she's choking. Nurse did his job. Right. But your grandpa had to call the. He had to give the. The. Okay. The code word electrocute.

[Dale Hellestrae]

And then.

[John Holmberg]

And then you got it, Mr. Bogan. And then they went in and they killed your grandma, called your mom and said, oh, my gosh. She choked on her medicine. And you guys, because you don't ever get. Never said. Wait a minute. Choked at the hospital. That's a lawsuit.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Well, see, I never.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you didn't question that. You did question it. You didn't. You guys didn't. Absolutely.

[Dale Hellestrae]

The Bogan family's a little different. Different?

[John Holmberg]

The. The. Keeping up appearances is very important. When I went to Columbus, it's not the Bogan family.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

It's Scioto Country Club. I noticed it when I was there. Yeah.

[Dale Hellestrae]

I know a buddy who's a member of Columbus Country Club.

[John Holmberg]

I think that's for the poor people. That's for the poor people's the good one.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Nice.

[John Holmberg]

But I was there and you immediately realized, oh, I've been in two places that are very similar to that, which was very strange to me. Pasadena, California. Old Pasadena has that vibe. Arcadia has that vibe. You don't talk bad about what's in the area.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Arcadia or arcad Light.

[John Holmberg]

Not Arcadia light or Acadia. East or West. Those are just real estate tricks. And then Columbus, when I went to Columbus, like, oh, I see this place. Doesn't they just look away from all the bad things?

[Dale Hellestrae]

Electrocution to try and jar her memory or change her thoughts.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. They took. They used to do electroshock therapy. Cutting edge stuff. It was controversial. They'd electrocute the brain because it would numb it dead. And. And you couldn't really think or have thoughts for a while. And it would just kind of make you this kind of zombie person. It killed. It killed your energy. It kill your libido. It killed your drive to do things. You were just walking through life going, somebody better take care of me.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Well, what's that stuff that you pour into a drink? Try and sleep with a girl or whatever that is.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not telling you. No. I'm not telling you.

[Dale Hellestrae]

No. Lose your memory.

[John Holmberg]

We're hypnol. Noofies. Yeah, roofies.

[Dale Hellestrae]

So kind of like roofies. She doesn't know what she's doing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, in a. In a weird way, except for it's. You're attached to a car battery in your electrocute. But that's what, you know, the pills will do too. For a lot of times. This is mentally right. Well, that's true of pills, but it is a whole lot less physically aggressive than electrodes to.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Your brain is pretty.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was cheaper.

[Dale Hellestrae]

It's almost like you wanted more to happen than just your brain.

[John Holmberg]

They were hoping it was a control alt. Delete at the time to reset this. He was driving your grandfather crazy. And when it started to cost too much, he's like. Like electricity. You got it, Mr. Bogan. And then they choked her to death with horse pills. And you guys are like, oh, that's a shame. No question.

[Dale Hellestrae]

What do you think about this? As you know, you're. You're closer to the end than the beginning of my life. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestrae]

And. And obviously. So what I'm contemplating is giving both my daughters one of those cyanide pills or whatever that can kill.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna kill your daughters?

[Dale Hellestrae]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, to give to you.

[Dale Hellestrae]

To have. So the first time that they have to change me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestrae]

As you're. As you're. Take. As you're changing me. Give me the pill. Right.

[John Holmberg]

First time. You have to wipe out.

[Dale Hellestrae]

First time.

[John Holmberg]

It's the. It's called the Superman complex. This is true. That Superman knows that if he ever got out of control he'd decimate the planet.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

So we gave Batman the kryptonite that kills him. I think it's the red or the black kryptonite. I don't remember what color. Yeah. That's a very real thing. And it stems from the idea of people saying when I'm no longer in control of myself.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

You need to be a good friend and kill me.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's what Ruth said to my grandfather. She said he's like, kill her. Kill her.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Dad.

[John Holmberg]

My dad and I have a deal too. That if either of us are told by a doctor he'll never wipe himself again. That we're going to do the pillow over the other guy's face. Young or old or whatever.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Okay?

[John Holmberg]

I don't want that.

[Dale Hellestrae]

No.

[John Holmberg]

I want to live.

[Dale Hellestrae]

I want to be on that. Yeah. Hey. As long as I can move around. I golfed up.

[John Holmberg]

You could barely do that.

[Dale Hellestrae]

I'm feeling better these days. But I golfed up north at pine canyon with two 75 year old dudes who are still bouncing around.

[John Holmberg]

Drives you nuts and having fun.

[Dale Hellestrae]

It's like my gosh. I hope and pray I can be.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Age is just a number. It's what you do. You got to keep moving. Yes. And then sometimes you get punched in the nuts and you got to try to fight through that. You never know when it's going to be your time.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

But you know what?

[Dale Hellestrae]

When it is that time.

[John Holmberg]

When it is that time. Don't wipe my ass.

[Dale Hellestrae]

I might want to give you a pill.

[John Holmberg]

I would. You better not give me that pill.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Go. Day early.

[John Holmberg]

Day early. A day early. You drink it for lunch. I would.

[Dale Hellestrae]

I would.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's grandpa. You so fast with that pill. It would be ridiculous. Get it prescribed. Cyanide. You got a black web. I think the dark web takes care of. All right. We got to take a break. You want to kill Brett?

[Dale Hellestrae]

No. Does Brett have access to some of that stuff?

[John Holmberg]

Brett can take care of you. Don't you worry about that. Yeah. Brett may or may not have access to some. You be quiet about it. You don't know. He's got some concrete. You got it. Maybe Brady should give us all one real quiet. Didn't it? Yeah. Let's take a break. Dale. Hellas trace here. Former champion of the NFL.

[Dale Hellestrae]

Always.

[John Holmberg]

Always a world champion. But it's been so long. Can anybody remember they had black and white TVs back then? You could still buy them. Dale joins us for the entertainment drill next. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I've heard enough of this. Can you PT Limu AMU and Doug Limu and I always tell you to customize your car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. But now we want you to feel it. Cue the emu music. Limu. Save yourself money today. Increase your wealth. Customize and save. We save. That may have been too much feeling. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty Liberty Liberty. Liberty Savings Very unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.