← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
08-22-25 - FULL SHOW - FRIDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD
02:59:07
Loading summary
Transcript1 lines
- [00:00]
A
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. The Labor Day event is going on now at your thirteen Valley Chevy dealer. Get exciting offers on head turning lineup including Silverado. From off road adventures to workday tasks, this truck has the strength to take on what's next. Or check out the Chevy Equinox. With excellent fuel efficiency and bold design, this SUV lets you take on the world in style. Then there's Traverse or Trax, all ready for your next big road trip. Don't miss out. The Labor Day Valley Chevy sales event is going on now at all 13 Valley Chevy dealers. Visit your Valley Chevy dealer today. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and doughotkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd have just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house, cash. As is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you gotta do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1-800-sale now. All right, HMS podcast time again. I'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Well, just in case you haven't been paying attention or if you've been mia, we'll let you know that Frank Caliendo is going to be performing at the Desert Ridge Improv this Friday and Saturday night. So tune in. Frank's going to be in with the guys all week long and just maybe we'll have tickets for you to go catch Frank live up north at Desert Ridge for the complete lineups. And for tickets go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com hey, you want to win $979? Well, check this out. Handle the Heat is back with another chance to win and another chance to check out a Holmberg special on the menu at Native Grill and Wings. That's right, join the HMS Crew at Native Grill and Wings during one of our 4U brews for a chance to participate in Handle the heat. That's Holmberg's hot wing eating cont. For details on all the contest rules, head to 98kupd.com think you can handle the heat? Well, bring your appetite and find out. It's all brought to you by native grill and wings. Hey, it's Brett Vesely. Look, your AC has been working hard for you all summer long, so give it some love with Patrick Riley. Heating, cooling, plumbing and drains. Right now you can get a $59h vac system check which includes a full equipment inspection, refrigerant level check, and free electronic leak detection. And that's a $99 value. Need a new system. No problem. Score $1,500 off right now. Hot and stuck. Well, they offer emergency same day service. And before you commit, get a free second opinion with no pressure go to Patrick RileyServices.com that's Patrick Riley Services dot com. Patrick Riley. One call does it all. Morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98 to you, PT Good Morning Everybo. Hello there. Welcome to Friday. It is 5:45. This is the morning sickness as it stands for now. My name's John. There's Brady. Well, I'm here. What are you talking about? There's Brad. You doing? Hopefully we get to say that again. Toledo's not here. As you know, he's had a little family issue up there in Montana. And we can all say that yesterday our thoughts and stuff were up there with Toledo because his mom passed. So we lost her yesterday. And so Toledo is going through it right now. He's up in Montana. But, you know, the good news is he got to go up there and. And see it right before. So it was a. It was a quick turn, but it's been, you know, it's been a minute. So we feel for Toledo, it kind of stinks. You know, he's taking a punch and this ain't fun for anybody. So to our guy, Toledo, we love you, buddy. And hopefully you're. You're up listening, doing your thing because he's up goofing around. I see the computer move around. I'm like, damn it, Toledo. How you're doing it from Montana. But yeah, he's got. He's got a mess up there that's no fun. That's just flat out no fun. Stage we're at, though. We were talking about that with Larry Everybody's kind of like that's what you hear more of. So now we got to keep our. Turn our attention to this one. Over here we have our tribute show. Should we have it just in case? The eulogy show. Just in case. I think maybe Frank's gonna come in, say goodbye, say hello. Say, say see Brad. That's it for Brady's big surgery is on Tuesday so it's a thing. I'm a bit distracted myself I have to say for personal reasons. Brady's got everything he's got going on. Of course Toledo's thing. It's Dua Lipa's birthday and I feel bad feeling so great about that with all that's going on around me. TMZ did a big like 60 of just hot shots of Dua Lipa. And most of the time when I'm looking for, you know, news stories or things in the world, I, I was lost in that for about, I don't know, 12 minutes. We'll say something like that. That's about right. Just photograph after photograph of the 30 year old. Now Dua Lipa getting closer and closer to that expiration. It was fast, it was very quick. But yeah, 30 years old. Do a good age. Dua Lipa, you think he said, is that good for you? It's a fun age. It's a fun age. Brady's a pure parent. Oh, that's a fun age. 30's a. I mean that's what people say right before they go. Bret, never forget the 30s. I remember my 30s. Just promise me you'll have fun. All the things. That's what my 90 year old friend Paula always says. Just, you know what you're, you're so young. It feels like you're not, but you're so young. Just make love. I'm like Jesus lady, come on, get me half heart here. Can't wait for that. Yeah, for that advice should be nice. People talk. I'm definitely going to share that. Well, you, it's not too late. You can do that. I don't have to be 90 to tell people. Start boning love. Yeah, she said that. That's one thing she says we should have just. Instead of arguing over dumb things, we should have just essentially what she's saying. We should have just boned it out. She's telling me this after her husband passed away a couple years ago. Should have just boned it out. I'd get mad at him for dumb stuff. He was, you know, taking a. Brought out to dinner or something for some work thing. He had to do and I'd get mad at him. So just bringing him home and boning it out. This is the best advice I've ever heard, Paula. She should have a TV show and tell all these broads. Bone it out. Should be called bone it out with you. You'd be surprised how well it works. Oh yeah. Well, Dr. Ruth tried for years and if she was remotely attractive, it would have worked better. But all she said was, what are you doing? Just bone it out. And you're like, you know what? Dr. Ruth's right. And we're like, she's crazy. I think she's making a ton of sense. Where is the problem? I always fighting. There's no reason to argue. The man takes his penis, which fixes arguments when it's inserted inside the woman. Phone it out. People had her on TV and she was always on interviews and essentially that's what she was saying. And they just kept talking. She's been KDKB back in the day, every night, Sunday night, Dr. Demento and Dr. Ruth. It was the medical hours on KDKBN. So back when that station meant something, you know, that wasn't some sort of strange pandering nightmare to a 10% of the population, which surprisingly worked a lot better than I thought. 93. 3. That was so gross. Anyway, there's inserting going on. Still heavy. Yeah. So bone it out. Brady's advice as he faces the Grim Reaper, to bone it out. That's the way it should work. Yeah. Do. His birthday is pretty solid. Another thing, I saw your show was great. You know, you got to hand it to. There's a name for everything. And there's a new dating method called shreking, which is incredibly cool. And it's smart new dating term that people are using because it's, it's great for, you know, people like me. Brady. Brett's a handsome man. I won't necessarily put it in that category, but you're not exactly a catch. No. Shreking is women who are very attractive basically saying, I'm gonna test out the ugly guy. Cause like Fiona did it in Shrek. And that worked out. Really. It really worked out. But what happened in the end again is dangerous for the, for the brain is that a magic potion made them both incredibly good looking. So it wasn't enough just to like each other. Oh yeah. Yeah. It wasn't enough just to like each. Remember that's in the. The potion. It wasn't. They ended up going back to ogres because they were supposed to kiss at a certain time and then they could stay beautiful. And Shrek got to be a little bit of a. When he was handsome. You know he's getting a little bit full of himself. But remember how handsome Shrek got there with the fairy godmother's potion and then he abused it. He did what everybody would do. It's just like you know when you get a student loan and you get cocky because you got more money than your friends for a couple of weeks you just. It's new to you. It had gotten used to it. But yeah they were. And then Fiona turned into the beautiful Fiona. You know she was gorgeous and then she bubbled back into. They both got ugly in the end is what I'm saying is you turn into a pig. Yeah. You turn into Midwestern pigs. Everybody turns into the Connors. Didn't Shrek said how to make her ugly again. Trying to restore her Shrek beauty. I don't remember. I just know that she was. Yeah, she's an idiot. I don't think that would. I don't think that movie would have been successful if that were. That was reverse. I think he. I know. I think he tried to make out with her like he was supposed to do it. Well, I mean you know the other dude was a frog. The king. Not the Farquad but the other one that heard Fiona's dad. He was technically. That was the Princess and the Frog story and Fiona was the offspring of that. So yeah, the Shreking thing has merit because girls are basically saying, you know, I've been mistreated by. And what did I say the other day? I was talking about this the other day. Girls that date hot dudes are more likely going to get HPV from them than anybody else because they have the most sex with and they. And they fool you all the time. You're like, oh, I'd rather have sex with a hot girl. Well, he has the most options. So you're going to with a guy who has the most options instead of a guy like Brady who has none. You got it. He's going to be the one. You're going to bone him like crazy guy like me. You're probably not even going to want to do it with me. No way you can catch an STD with somebody you're never going to have sex with. It's brilliant. Shreking. So it says you get Shrek too. You can have that if you are. That's the bad thing is I don't think a lot of guys egos can handle a Woman who shreks them. I think the guy handles it better than the. It would still hurt, though, if she said, I just went shreking. I don't know if a girl could. A guy can handle a lot better because people tell the. Look, you out kicked your coverage. How'd you pull that? You must have a lot of money. Like, we're constantly being told we're Shreks, and. And I. You know who I've talked to about this? Handsome guys. They don't get that you. That's the announce. Yesterday, I was with Larry McFeely and we went out to. I'll tell you about the mattress complaint is awesome. Amazing place. It was so it's a verlo mattresses. And Larry was out there and he got some. Oh, my God, the pillow with the cutout looks like a bite in it. We'll get to that in a second. But I went out with him, and he's. He had been. He was chatting with a girl on. On his text, and she's a listener of the station, and he's known her for a while. And I was on one of the beds, and I was on my knees. I was bouncing on the bed, like, seeing what this thing could take. And Larry took a picture of me, and she text back and said, I forgot how breathtaking he was. And I said, wow, that's just. Something's wrong with that chick. And he's. She's laughing. And he said he text her back and said, oh, I see the real crush lives in the other part of the radio station. There we go. And, yeah, I know he got a little upset at the end. Well, not upset, but it made him feel like she likes me and not him. And that wasn't the whole goal of the conversation. Wasn't even going that way. He made it there anyway. So she said that, and then she said, no. Where I'm from, when we call someone breathtaking, it's usually someone's ugly. Baby. Women have no problem telling you you're ugly. None. And they do it in subtle ways like, oh, you're breathtaking. Oh, thank you. No one's ever called me that before. And that means that you're hideous. Which I'm fine with because I know that more than anybody else. But if a woman said that at dinner, what can't happen is some guy goes, wow, she's beautiful. You really out kicked your coverage. How'd you pull that off? If your wife starts telling people, yeah, I decided to go shreking, and I landed him like, hey, Knock it off. Like you're not allowed to say that. No, I could have had a lot better, but I. At least physically. But I Shreked. I pulled Shrek out of the. The mud and cleaned him up and made him my own. So I didn't. But it's a handsome dude. Sure. Dating app already probably a Shreking. Just goofy lunk headed guys sitting there staring at the camera. I wanna, you know, with a, with a lazy eye. Women just have to grin and bear it and let them lay on top of them for a little bit. For the sheer fact that they're worried that a handsome guy is going to give him the HPV or start boning. Because he's got options. And that's the truth. So it's a Shrek thing too. If, oh, Brett's going, we losing him. He's just gonna throw up. Are you all right? Don't cry. It's not that. You're okay. You'll make it fine. So like, so if the dude is an uggo and she. So it works in reverse as well. Like the hot chick goes after the ugo and tries the Shrek. Is that what we're saying there? Yeah. Okay. When would a guy ever go after an ugly girl on purpose? 2:00am oh no, no, that's. No, that's always going to be Hagen. That's already got names. Yeah. For the women, you know, Shreking's for the guy. Shreking is woman as we try harder. Yeah, well that's true. Like I wouldn't care. No, no, I got in there. Who cares? Shreking is happily ever after. She's not looking for a one nighter. Oh, she's going shreking for a lifetime. Right? You're talking about crazy broad. You're talking about slump busting or hard. Yeah, yeah, you'll go. You'll one time a pig. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, you'll, you'll, I mean run around that channel, please. And, and you know what? In my lifetime, proud to say I just went home and threw one out. I never, never. Slump busted. No. Disgusting hogging and slump busting. I don't know, I mean I've thought about it and I've been in some slumps, but I've never like, I've never gone, well, I'm just gonna have to hog it out and then get. Imagine it's disgusting. And I knew plenty of dudes who did it. And I man, some guys can do it. Some guys can just climb on, you know, just a thing. And women are Usually not able to. Although there are times you just look around, you're like, man, she really did look into his personality. Because what I'm looking at is not worthy of laying on top of you. Like, you wouldn't want that laying on top of you. I'm sure guys say the same thing when they see our wives walking with us. 100%. Boy, she must really. He must have a really great. But we do. The whole reason they ended up liking this is because we're fun. Yeah, we're like, we'll go out and we're like, hey, this guy's pretty fun. I can get past all the. What's going on here. And then they start telling you that they're good. That still bothers me. You're handsome. Oh, stop lying. It's been years. Don't I think you're handsome. That's more insulting. That basically means I know society doesn't, but I happen to see past it. Stop it. Just tell me what we both know and favorite position with most married women is doggy style. Do you know why they don't have to look at you. That's a big thing. Dudes want mirrors and women don't. Dudes want cameras and women don't. There's a reason that's you. It's not her. She could look proof. They look in a mirror all day long. Suddenly you want to. Let's do it by the mirror. I don't. That's. No, I can't. I don't wanna. You don't want to see me. I get it. They spend hours in the bathroom looking in the mirror. Doesn't bother them. Get them in the throes of dirtiness and they're like, I don't get by a mirror. You're in it. That's pretty nice. You get that? That you're handsome still you don't get. I don't know. I get you're funny. Have a great summer. Oh, you gotta like she's still signing your yearbook. Keep in touch. Yeah, keep in touch. Have a bitch in summer. Hopefully we got some classes together next year. Yeah, I find it. I've talked to handsome men and I've said that. I'm like, the women ever say that to you. Oh, you've out kicked your coverage. Because I've had good looking men say that to me and I'm like, has anybody ever said that to you? And they're hilarious because good looking dudes know it and they're just like, no know everything I've got, I've Earned. And they. And the women are. But again, I also look at most handsome couples and think those works must be horrible. Cause he's been handsome for a long time. And I know college. You're handsome. You have it thrown at you, and it's the pretty women that throw it at you. And they're the ones that get the most options, too. And then you start mixing that stew together, and the next thing you know, they're bubbling up like, you know, wrapping paper. And here comes the hot nanny. Yeah. And then here comes hot nanny, and you put your herpes in her. Yeah. And then they hire hot people around their house because they just assume that's what they should be around all the time. And then you realize, oh, I'm still married to a hot college guy, even though he's 45. And then hot nanny's looking at him, and he's looking like, Jesus Christ, I still have enough to get the hot nanny. And he's fun and all that. Yeah. The whole. That's a. Patrice o' Neill used to do that all the time. The reason you like me is the very same thing you want me to stop being once. Once we start dating, because you realize that's what other people get attracted to. So I better stop it. The whole reason you like me is because I could fish. I was a good fisherman, and I'd pull him in, and suddenly now we're together and you want me to sell the boat. No, doesn't work that way. I still fish accidentally just because I'm fun. Shreking. And I would venture to. Venture to say Brett being sort of the exception, because Brett has standard social decent features of a human being. Again, you know, maybe six and a half, seven out of ten. That's pretty good. Yeah. I'm gonna go with Brady thinks he's a seven, but there's a point in front of it. And Shreking, I'm a. Oh, it's yours in shreking. You are. Yeah. You're a nine and a half in Shreking. Because you know what? This is exactly. I've been successful. You're like Dustin walking down the hall. That's. That's how much. Yeah. You're in a tank top. Yep. Boy shorts. Hand up hand. Yeah. Maybe even cowboy, but you know what you mean cowboy boots and a feather boa. Because you can get away with it. Because you're just so goddamn. In the world of Shrek's. This is the goal, man. Personality, good job, fun to be around. That's about it. But other than that. And they just then do whatever you want in the world of Shrek Brady is you are the Jon Hamm of Shrek's. Now turn to chapter three. Shreking in the summer. Yeah, you can use Shrek. You are the Shrek. But, yeah, handsome men all have herpes. I'm convinced of it. Because they're usually arrogant about how easy it is to get girls, how simple it's always been for them. And that means one thing and one thing only. Multiple partners. And that leads right down the road of several STDs, which I can proudly say, including children. I've never had an std. Isn't that great? I think everybody in the room. Yeah, I know you haven't. You got close and you pushed her off. Yeah, I dabbled. You didn't dabble. Well, you didn't know. And once you found out, had to stand on the other side of the room and take a silkwood bath. He cuddled with her because he was still nice. But I have to let you know, I've had infected wing. Well, this party's over. So long, sister. Jumped in the tempo and bounce. I'm not having. Yeah, I'll be in the tempo that you're not allowed it anymore. You're gonna wear two pairs of pants in the tempo. Because that's the love Mobile. But, yeah, Shreking is a thing. It's a very real thing. And people should think about it. Were you Shrek? I know I was. I'm proud enough to admit I've probably been. I'm Shrek. Nobody looks at me and says, nobody ever looks at me, has ever in any circumstance in my life, and said, she's so lucky. It's never happened. Wow. Your girlfriend slash wife slash wife slash. You know any of them? They sure hit the jackpot with you. But I've heard people say it to, wow, you hit the jackpot. I had a guy say that to me in Vegas years ago, sitting next to Megan was there, and we're playing slot machines. And his wife. His wife won like 20 grand. And they were waiting to get a payout. And he's sitting there. I'm like, I'm proud of you, man. That's great. I wish it would happen to me. And he goes, here's what you need to know. Like what? And it got real serious. And this dude just pulled a nice little jackpot out of the machine. He goes, no matter if you win or lose, you get to go home with the most beautiful woman in the casino tonight. And his wife Looks at him like, you mother, I'm right here. I'm like, oh, anyway, congratulations on your win there, chief. Enjoy not celebrating. Enjoy. Enjoy getting to a fight over. Might as well just give him half now, cuz this is over. Kids say that out loud. And then he bought champagne because it was a good win and they had been winning all week. He bought champagne for. And he goes, would you guys like some? Like, you're gonna try to get her drunk, aren't you? You're literally making the move and your wife just won all that money, you son of a bitch. But yes, I'll have some. Yeah, I'm taking. I did. I drank some of that shit. I'm not stupid. It was celebration champagne. It's just. It doesn't happen. Guys, don't go Shrek. And we don't look for a Fiona just because the hot girl treats you poorly as a guy. You're like, I'm gonna get on that horse again. You go to another. You're not going, I'm never gonna date that. That song never make a pretty woman your wife. It makes a ton of sense, you know. So from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry. It's a. It's the song makes sense. But we're not doing that. We're not looking for. We're not. What a lot to anticipate though is they turn into. Right. Yeah. Well, I don't know. The ogre thing is real. Like in the fairy tale world, Shrek's real story is no matter what she looks like now, she's gonna turn into Fiona. She's eventually gonna be Fiona. Now. What was frustrating about Shrek in reality was Fiona the ogre. Her mother was Julie Andrews and was probably in her mid-50s, maybe early 60s in the cartoon. That was the age she was perfect. So if you were to look at her, you'd be like, you know, you look at their moms and say that's what they're going to turn into. Scary situation. Cameron Diaz was, you know, good genes. If I say that. Yeah, you can't say that anymore. That's not. That doesn't apply because science has been thrown out by idiots. But. Yeah, but that's. Yeah. So if you looked at Fiona's mom, you'd be like, we're in good shape here. Like she's. She's been either shamed into staying at a certain size her whole life by her mother's just activity level, or she's just got what Brady said earlier. And I won't say it's the N word of science now. Good. Genetics. Genetics. Oh my God, I said it. But. So that was all a lie. And then Fiona just said, I'm comfortable. And then she blobbed out, turned green, put a moomoo on and sat in her hut. I didn't care anymore. Just bon bons and stuff. But yeah. So Shreking. It's real. And are you a Shrek? That's the big question. I think we can all say it. Yeah. Most of us are searching for a romantic summer getaway escape with Rich Girl Summer, the new Audible original from Lily Chu, the exquisitely talented Philippa Sue. Returning to narrate her fifth Lily Chiu title, this time, Philippa is joined by her real life husband, Steven Pasquale. Set in Toronto's wealthy cottage country, AKA the Hamptons of Canada, Rich Girl Summer follows the story of Valerie, a down on her luck event planner posing as a socialite's long lost daughter while piecing together the secrets surrounding a mysterious family and falling deeper and deeper in love with the impossibly hard to read and infuriatingly handsome family assistant, Nico. Caught between pretending to belong and unexpectedly finding where she truly fits in, Valerie learns her summer is about to get far more complicated than she ever planned. She's in over her head and head over heels. Listen to Rich Girl Summer now on audible. Go to audible.com richgirlsommar wherever you go, whatever they get into, from chill time to everyday adventures, protect your dog from parasites with Cridelio guattro. For full safety information, side effects and warnings, visit cordelioquattrolabel.com consult your vet or call 1-888-545-5973. Ask your vet for Cordelio Cuatro and Visit Quattro dog.comberg's morning sickness. But try to say that with your wife. She's my little Fiona. I used to date hot chicks all the time, but not anymore. And I. I nabbed this little honey and I bolted her to the ground. She's mine forever. What did you mean when you said that? Oh, I used to date really pretty women and they were just awful. So I date you now. Women are. That's out loud to us men. Get that out loud. I don't want to date good looking men anymore. I've chosen you and we have to go. Thanks, that's great. I'm like a Shrek and we have to eat it. Try it with them. Try it on your date this weekend with a girl from Tinder and just go you know, I. I've wasted so much time dating all these beautiful women. And so I started to. I started to date women that look like you. And I feel like it's going better. What does that mean? You know, the Les Dans, the Fionas, the girls who don't care so much about their appearance. Hey, I worked hard to look like this. Sorry. Really? You look like you're unemployed. You did. Back to work. You looked hard to look like this. What do you look like without this? Wait, I thought we were shreking. I thought this was fun. They're allowed to do it. We're not. That's how it is. Another thing that's fun on the news right now is it's been bad monsoon seasons for the last few years. This year's been average to good. Brett showed videos last night of a tree falling down. His neighborhood was pretty cool. And I got messed up too. Yeah, you had roofs flying off. It's crazy. And a week ago, they're saying it's over. We had a really bad monster. The non soon, but we got some good ones. And I love this because before they could even finish the news. The news has nothing to do. And I really like watching it. But the invention in the last few years of them driving around looking for rain in the car is hilarious to me because when they find it, they flip out. So today they're in heaven and Ian Schwartz is in heaven. And all the news, because you've got downed trees which didn't hurt anybody and really isn't news. Power outage. Just great footage of. Yeah, power. That's the news. That's when you say, hey, guys, by the way, the storms last night, SRP has shut down APS view of these customers. You'll get it back by 11. That's what you want from your news. It's like, what happened? Oh, a tree fell. We don't need footage of it. Just tell us it hit power lines or the power went out. Uh, it's out now. It's probably gonna be out on until about two or three. But no, they drive to the trees and they show you the roots and they flip the F out and they drive around all over the city. Destruction, Destroy. They just love it. And if they could. Brady's right. If they could tie this to Hurricane Aaron, they would. Because that's supposed to scare the hell out of you. The hurricane that's in the middle of the Atlantic is doing nothing. Category two, right? It's not even that big. It's hitting like 20 foot waves. Look At New York City's gonna drown from this. Like, what? No, it's not. Yes, it might. Yeah, but maybe. But probably. Yes, it might. Two weeks ago, the entire Pacific Ocean was on watch for a tsunami that was probable in, like, the middle of the Pacific is huge. It's very possibly gonna happen. Where? Hawaii, about 10 o'. Clock. Waves up to three feet. Like, that's just. That's pretty good. I think surfers would like that. You get to get inside. No, I think we're okay. And the reason people stand on the beach and watch tsunamis come at them is because of the news. Because they film it and they send it to news channels. And also the news makes us feel like they overreact to everything. This storm last night was normal. I watched two news news things. The storms are getting tougher and harder. They're worse than they've ever been. Like, this is what used to happen six times a month in summer when I was a kid. What's not normal is that it doesn't happen like, two days in a row. Takes two days off and comes back. My Little League, it doesn't hit kind of like anything. It hits harder in certain spots than it does. No. There was seven to eight dust storms a summer. That would screw up my Little League All Stars. That's July. And I remember, like, All Star practice going to suck because we're going to get dirted. And the dirt balls would go by and then it would rain for a little bit and we'd get to play a night game. It doesn't happen anymore. That's the weird thing. But they act like every storm is bad. They film trash cans flying down the road, trees getting tipped over. That was normal. That used to be all the time. I used to have to pick up a goddamn palo verde every summer. And I used to tell my dad, don't plant the palo verde again. No. They grow real fast and they tip over every summer. And I'm the one out there with your cruddy, you know, rechargeable baby chainsaw. Chopping it up and cleaning it. You don't ever have to do that. It's a tree that looks good by spring. Get it back in there. Plant a new palo verde next summer. Just cutting it in thirds, throwing it in the. You put the goddamn palo verde in the regular trash bin now. We don't have room for the trash. Cut it up some more. I can't. Your remote control chainsaw doesn't work. What do you. Did you break that? Dad, it's a toy get another one. I'd have to go to the Ace value and get it. But I couldn't get to school on it. I wasn't allowed to get the big chainsaw. You'll cut your goddamn leg off. So I had to work this. Chainsaws about the size of an iPhone. I might as well use the Swiss army knife. Clean it up, make it look good, get all the stuff out of there. The new palo verde would grow, and like two months later, there it is. And I'd stare at it every time I'd pull in that goddamn thing. I got three months to live for this. It was in a wind pattern. Now they stay up. We've got palo verdes that have been in. I'm not familiar with this. These trees out here, they don't tip over anymore. Wish they would. These in my front yard when I was growing up, didn't stand a chance. They're huge. A couple of them have been bent to the max. Oh, yeah. But they used to just pull right out of the ground. Just lay there like, we're done. I'm done. Sorry. Lay down the parking lot. They need to go. They're the sea monkeys of trees. You get a couple months out of them and then you're like, I kind of want this thing anymore. And then they're just dead anyway. They stink. But these that we have in our parking lot, they're rooted. And that's never happened ever. I hate them. Hate looking at them. They're just weeds. This is a childhood trigger for me right here. These goddamn trees. Because I'd come home and I'd see it big and bushy. I'm like, next storm, I'm going to be working my ass off. On a humid summer day. They don't tip over anymore. Yeah. Today the news is going to be crazy. Down to. Look at this tree. Look at the roots of this one. Did anybody get hurt? Nah. A car cut? Nah, nothing happened. It's just a tree on. It's neat. We think it's cool looking and we love weather. We got nothing to talk about. And when you guys shoots each other, there's a car wreck. But we like this the worst is when. When it's actually raining and they're. They have the storm chaser out there and let's just look out the windshield with windshield wipers going the whole time. Great. You're not seeing a goddamn thing. Sometimes they're driving and they can't find it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, don't you have a weather center? Isn't this A waste of time until you get to where you tell me it's raining. Like, you're the ones who know. We even have a weather center here. I mean, you know, we do have a weather center. It's vast. At least lie and say you're in the eye of the storm. Right? Yeah. Oh, we're in the. It's super calm here now. It took you, but all around us, carnage. Yeah. Holly Bach was driving around and that. We're out in the weather. We don't know where it is. I'm like, you're the weather girl. What do you mean you don't know where the rain is? We're looking for it. Well, that's not how this works. You've got computers. Oh, look. Turn the windshield wipers on. We're making news. Yep. I could have done that. If I look outside, I know whether it's raining or not. Not that stupid. But I will watch Holly Bok drive around for a while. But that's bad, because Holly Bok's never on the camera. If Holly box on the, like, hood of the car. Now there you got something. If it's a white snake video, sign me up. You put Holly Bach in a white shirt, no bra, and have her stand outside and go night, rain check back later. Like, I will watch this news for hours. It's. I felt a drop on my shoulder. Soon I might be totally wet. We'll be right back from the Lerner and Row weather Center. Holly Box standing outside in a white T shirt. We'll be right back. It's definitely moist out here. You're gonna have these hot weather girls driving around. Put one outside. We found it. And then she just lays in it and pouring rain on her. Oh, it's raining. Look at me. Like, Christ, that's hot. Then you got Jared Dillingham and Yeta Gibson just sitting there like Jesus Christ. Holly blocks practically naked. We're gonna check in with the weather for a reason. Meanwhile, you got Jorge Diaz, or whatever that dude's name is over on channel 54, Jorge Torres. And the weather over in Mesa, it's going to be 58 degrees. Guadalupe. My name is Jorge Torres. Calm down about yourself, Jorge. You folks moved here legally a long time ago. We don't need you rolling all the R's. You're George Torres. Now stop it. He throws extra R's in, too, just because if I were to spell his name the way he says it, it'd be J O, R, R, R, R, R, R, R, R, R, H A Y Torres. Horri Torres halfway. Wait for him to put a red cape out. And a bull runs by him while he does the weather. Jorge Torres. It will be 80 degrees in Flagstaff, 69 in Sholo. I'm Jorge Torres. Did he just bust more cheaps? Yes. Jorge Torres. More chips. Yeah. He kills that name. Oh, man. When he's doing the weather from the freeway to the parking lot, he's still saying his name. I'm like, holy. We just have a couple seconds there, Horge. Why don't you tell us what's going on in the East Valley? There is going to be monsoon. I'm Horri. You need to really calm down about yourself there, Jorge. Thanks for the weather report. The weather's done on a matador green screen. He just reveals it after the cape. Ah, Jorge Torres. Let's turn it over to my weather counterpoint. Just need your name if it's going to rain, what the temperature's going to be and we move on. I don't need you sounding like you just won. You know, Mexico's Mr. Olympia contest. Get Holly Bacon a white T shirt and have her standing out there saying it might rain. Rain worth 40% chance of rain. And you people are watching. Oh, my God. Channel Threes. You want people to go back to local news? There it is. Hollybach, wet in a white T shirt. It's raining. Oh, the potential. If there's anyone at all interested in somebody driving around in a car like Brett said with the windshield wipers on. I tell you what, we can spruce this up a touch if you like. Watching a car get wet. Hold on. Hold your beer and wait for my idea. 4:00 clock to 10:00pm they'll be checking in with Holly throughout the night. All night. See if it's raining. We interrupt this program to bring you Holly Box still standing outside. It's not raining. We'll be right back with more of that later. Oh, my God. Yes. And channel 15. Sup, twinks? I'm Jorge Torres. I'm outside in a white T shirt combating a drink of coffee. Sorry about that. That's the only thing they've got. Those goddamn bastards at Channel three. Have all the heteros. Torres, get a white tank top on and go outside with your cape. Try to summon some rain. I'm Jorge Torres. My nipples are showing. He's pouring rain and Jorge Torres is flamboyant, isn't he? Well, get him outside and make him wet. He pick adores the locations and Gilbert Mesa. Yeah. Let's find out what's going on in Mesa from the kitty KB weather show. It's raining outside. If we're gonna do that with his name, let's make him telenovela. Jorge Torres. He's a very tough night outside. He's a cold, rainy night in Mesa. I'm Jorge Torres. And then have a lady. Come on. Just walk up in the middle of the report. What are you doing here? I have your baby. Oh my God. Shock. She's having my baby. What will my wife say? Then the lady comes out, jorge, are you telling me this is your mistress? Ideal smear. We'll be back with more weather after these. I'm Jorge Torres. Telenovela weather. Sick of it. I'm sick. Your stupid weather reports. Bring back Royal Norman and just give it to me straight. Or put Holly Bach outside. Goddammit. Quit driving around in a car. I know if it's raining at my house or not. I don't need you driving around. It needs you to tell me if it's gonna not. You're searching for. You search for rain. That means like you're like. You're like those gold hunters. You don't know where anything is. We think it might be over here. Idiots. Yeah, I tell you what. You get that Corey McCloskey in a white T shirt and you'll get the twink population rolling up. They like him that tip, blonde hair and those. I saw him driving around once in a convertible. Those fingerless driving gloves. And I just looked over and I went, oh, my God, there's Corey McCloskey from Channel 10 singing show tunes. Must have been. Yeah, yeah. Nobody will rain on my parade. Hey, Corey. Hey, fan. No, no, no. Turns into Brady. Come on, douche. Take your gloves off. You're driving around, douche. Only a douche drives around with fingerless driving gloves, douche. Hey, fan. Yeah, howdy, fan. Okay, douche. He might be a nice guy and stuff, but the driving fingerless driving gloves immediately takes me from wanting to be friends with you. If I'm. If I'm hanging out with Brady and we're having a great day. Like, this is fun. I like this is a new friend. I think Brady's my new friend. All right, well, time to go. And you strap on fingerless driving gloves to go home. I'm like, ah, what a shame. Can't go. Like that's a date deal breaker for women too, right? You wouldn't, you know better, McCloskey, if he liked women. Not sure. 20, 25. Gonna go ahead and say no. Most people on TV are homosexual. So he puts the driverless or the Fingerless. Was he the one that said, what are you driving? No, that was Passmore. Yeah, that's Passmore pulled up to me in Bumblebee from Transformers. You like that Jeep? Are you serious? Yeah, awesome. Passmore hit me. He may have. We may have. I knew who he was. He may have known that I'm a rate of my media person, but I'm not so sure because I was standing there with Thomas Wells from Scotland. The famous Thomas Wells. And we're putting the clubs in the back of the Jeep and then you just hear. And then Bumblebee from Transformer. The yellow Camaro comes up behind us. He had gloves on and he's stretching his fingers like he's. It's gonna be a rough road down Camelback, I tell you that. Better get my fingers prepared. So he's stretching his fingers and he goes, he does a glove tightening and he goes, you like that Jeep? And Thomas Wells is looking at me like, who's this? And I'm like, yeah, it's, you know, I bought it. So there was an affinity towards it, I guess. The day I put 70 grand to it, I suppose that means I liked it. I like Jeeps too. Just picked up this great, nice car. Cool. And he takes off, heading to my plane. Thomas Wells goes, why would anyone ask if you like the car you have? Of course you do. Who's that douche like? Oh, he's a TV guy. They're all that way. I can understand. He was asking me, you like that wagon? Subaru, Ford Tempo treating you right? Yeah. The number one car for gray, nameless people without personalities. It's a pretty great car. I'm feeling pretty good about the dulling of my senses every time I get in it. Yeah, I just picked up this bad boy. A lot of people think I'm shy of the boof. I look a lot like the guy from Transformers in it. Cuz it's Bumblebee. It's a long pass. More. Who's that douche? Who the hell asks the guy if he likes the car he bought? Course you do. No, I hate this car. I absolutely hate it. I bought it because I. I just want to just destroy my life. You don't want one of these? Yeah, it's brand new too, but it was like my black Jeep, like the. That was the first month I had it. You like that thing? Is it brand? What do you think of it? I don't know. I bought it. You know what I don't do with it is put gloves on to drive it. What do you have, like an oven in there? What are you doing at least when you're responding? He wasn't revving the engine, so he couldn't. Every time. Every time I said it. So I. You done? Anyway, just getting a deal on it. I'm not going to answer any more questions. Anyway. I got a passmore over here. What does that mean? Oh, I use my name as a verb now. I'm going to pass more to the road, and I'm going to pass more home by Scott. Like Ricky Henderson. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's not even third person. You just use it. It's just verbiage. That's like last night, I was passmoring around the house, and then I decided to pass more into the kitchen. I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna get in the car, I'm gonna pass more over to the Circle K and grab myself couple of cooled, come back and do a little passmorin driving gloves. If you're wearing them right now, knock it off. Unless you're 80 and you've got the dumb little racing hat and the driving gloves, and people think you're adorable. Skin condition. No. Then you get full gloves. If your fingers are poking out your skin, you don't even care about your skin condition. True. They're fingerless. That's right. I want. If you got. If you got a skin condition, you should have, like, gloves up. Like, you know, like you're cleaning out the tampon box at Tony Roma's yellow hand all the way up to the elbow, like you're artificially inseminating a horse later. But if you're just driving around in the netted finger, just coming from working out, just coming from doing the weather. Corey, steering wheel gets kind of hot, right? You turn the air on and you let it cool off like all the rest of us. None of us are wearing those. It's not necessary. Idiot. It's like having. You know what it would be? This is the exact same douche factor as the fingerless driving gloves. And if you're in them, trust me, you need this talk. Somebody needed to destroy your life. If I. If I was sitting there and you got in a car with me and looked at me and I'm like, all right, ready to go? Sure. Let's get out of here. All right. And I put goggles on. It's the same thing as the driver, the fingerless gloves. Let me get my driving goggles ready. Just in case we start racing Herbie the Love Bug or something today. You like that car. No. What are you Max. What are you benching right about now? I'm golfing. Clearly I'm not benching much. I wouldn't be golfing and benching. What's your swing speed? Yeah, I got mine up to about 109 up at the. You know, I gotta again instructor puts me in the pod. 109. Cool. Anyway, go home and enjoy your wife. I'm sure she's enjoyed shreking you for the last few years. I'm passmore in mind. My wife went past more a yellow, bright yellow Camaro. It was a. You know, they're nice cars. Gotta head home in a hamster. Yeah, no, that's a hamster. He's pretty great. I gotta like that. Get up there and get the moonroof so I can swing my passmore out. My wife's under here. Get some water. Yeah. News people, for the most part are buttholes. Mark Curtis is nice. Troy Hayden's nice. There's a few of them I like. Ian Schwartz is awesome. But a lot of them are buttholes. Weirdos. Just flat weirdos, but dry. If you're again, and I think this is a psa, if you're Mexican and you're rolling your hours every time you talk to one of us, knock it off. Because I don't tell people. Like, yeah, I have to go back to my family reunion in Mount Jewett. The Honeback family reunion is gonna happen and I don't go. Swedish accent with min name. How come you, Larry, doesn't tell people I got to go to the McFreely house this weekend. Larry McFeely, the Dos Bogan reunion. We're going back to Columbus House. I'm gonna have an ice treat, do some Schnitzer. Knock it off. Every word's from somewhere else. We don't need that. You're authentic. Asian people don't do it. They can't help it sometimes. But if you're like, hey. I mean, Tang up there at Viet Shack is whatever. He isn't even. He's not exactly going, hey, welcome in. My name is Tong. I just wanted to come. What do you do that for? Oh, it's native to. It's the way you say it in my. You're in Chandler, man. Just say Tong. I'm. She walked Tong y tongue. How you doing? You can call me Tom. I'm gonna. I might call you Keith. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585-9800 and get a good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KP. Wake up. It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership feed. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rud. Miles to nowhere. Friday morning is official now. Thank you Katie and the Hobbs. And off we go. It is. Just talking with Brady. We'll get to that in a second about his last night with Kirby. And it's going to be a great story for Kirby in about 15 years. That awkward last evening with daddy we were talking about shreking and slump busting and hogging and stuff. And Kyle says I wouldn't necessarily call what happened to me slump busting because she wasn't that bad. If you're describing her that way, yes, she was. Yeah, the words she wasn't that bad. I wouldn't consider that's you rose colored glasses. The girl. Anyway, it says she wasn't up to my normal standards. We'll just say that. But what you were talking about before reminded me of something that happened. A girl asked me if I had ever had sex after meeting on the same night. At least that's what she meant. But she didn't say it in that way. She said while we were doing it, have you ever done this before? And I answered her very honestly. You mean have a one night stand? No, he told her in the middle of stroking one night stand. No, I've never done that before. You're my first. And we're never going to talk again. He basically let her in. And women, you have to be careful. I just want a man who's honest because that's as honest as it gets. You do not want us to be that honest. You really don't look fat in these pants. Yep. Oh my God. Well, don't ask. I thought you wanted an honest communicator. The threads in those little limbs are screaming right now. You don't look fat in those pants. You look fat out of those pants. You look fat in a dress. You look fat outside. Inside. If you're asking me, you know you look fat, don't ask. No, I think you look great in those. Let's go. Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to. And don't tell us you want to honestly. Right? Have you ever done this before? You mean have a one night stand with a pig? Nope. This is my first time. What do you mean, you've heard me. People are being very nice. Toledo, of course, isn't here. His mother passed away and he's up in Montana and it's, you know, think. But you, you pricks are always on top of it. So the first thing we get emails are all like, oh, tell Toledo he's great. Tell him I'm so sorry and all that other stuff. Got these. And then in the midst of it, I get one. I wonder if Toledo's dad's gonna show up to the funeral. And that I hadn't thought of. That's an actually legitimate question. Right. Do you not show up to a funeral of a woman you had a kid with? Was kind of thinking he'd have nothing to do with it. Did you. Did you ask? I didn't talk. I think he kind of said that when we were talking to him, will his dad show up? I didn't talk to him about his mother passing, so I didn't say, what are you gonna do for the funeral and stuff. I wonder, though, because it's the same. Because I think the question was, do you think will the dad stop by or, you know, why she's. No. Yeah, exactly. I don't know. I don't think he had to stop by in 50 something years. Why would you stop by now? No, I would. Why? I don't know. Never been a part of it really, other than he was a part of it all right. No, he wasn't. He was in it for about 10 minutes and he was out of it. Would you go to your first true love's funeral? No. No. You. You probably. Why would you? I don't know. I'm just asking. Would you? I don't think so. I mean, I know that surprises me. Me too, because I think the free food and all that. Check out the spread kind of spread. They got pinwheels. Yeah, she was always good for a pinwheel. You wouldn't go? You don't think. I think it's connected to the neighborhood. If I was in town, maybe, but I'm not gonna fly if. Okay, let's say you go back to Columbus and you find out the first girl you ever. And I happen to be there and. Yeah, I'm still there. Why the funerals happen. You'd go if you still lived in the same. If she lived here, maybe. I probably. If anything, maybe stop by the. The wake, the visitation hours. I think about that, though. I wouldn't go. That's what I mean. Most of this would be the other. You know, it's Not a family or class reunion to get together for the family. My ex wife. I think about that. To celebrate a life, A great life. Oh, no, no. I'd go just with a sign that says, finally, thanks, Al Qaeda. Almost Toledo. Just messaged back the answer to your question there. Oh, he did? He's listening. Said, yeah, no funeral. She's getting cremated and didn't want a service. And, yeah, the prick still doesn't talk about me with his family, so he ain't showing his face for my mom now. All right. Yeah, well, all right. It's just a weird thing. Like, funerals are strange. Like, do you go back to somebody who was a. An important part of your life, whether it ended badly or not? They're the one of the pillars. It all depends on how. I mean, I. I look at it that way. It's like someone like, wow, that. You know what? I do want to stop by there? What, to see what a pig should turn into or what? No, the family. I mean, that'd be the only reason to go. The pig part doesn't matter. Hey, dude, like, I dodged a bullet in that one. Look at that beast in there. But. But most likely I win. Yeah, I guess for your own ego. Charlie Sheen, that winning? Yeah, I guess so. Geez, that's a terrible way to look at it. That's the only reason I would go. You go back to see if she was a pig? You could get Facebook for that. That's true too. Yeah. I don't know. I don't think. I don't think I'd go back to any of the. But there are people in your life who were, you know, you know, pillars of your foundation. Sure. That, you know, change things. Good, bad or otherwise. Were part of your life that were like, wow, that's a big one. It's like a coach or a teacher. I would never go back to that. But, I mean, I didn't have, like, love relationships with them. Just, like, you know, moments. I mean, if you're a coach and you were like, eight or three or four years, and I wouldn't go back for any high school stuff. High school is not anywhere near that important. I'm sure DZ Went to your old coach. Oh, Derek. Well, I don't know if Coach Clark's alive. Oh, is he? Yeah. Oh, okay. Suck you, man. Suck off. Still alive. I got touched by dz. That's like being Green Mile. I can't even get kidney stones because DZ cleared me. Shoot. Suck you, Brett. You suck. Coach Clark's gonna live Forever. Like the kids from Fame. She. Yeah, I don't think. I mean, you'd have to have, like, that coach would have to have raised me. I'm not going back for any high school coach unless I went pro. But I mean, for me, a lot of it's, you know, friends that their parents are passing away. Like. Yeah, that's different. My dad. I know. It's like, where do you. I don't know. I maybe go to, I don't know, like, friends, families. I've had a couple friends, parents pass and I'm not. Or you go to the funeral. I don't know. That's a weird one, because I know them, but I'm not close to that. Being on that side. You. You. You do appreciate it. Oh, sure. That people, you know, especially at basically. Basically the. The calling hours of the. That service where people say, yeah, they don't really go to the funeral so much. In fact, you just stop by. Yeah, yeah. Hello to the family. Yeah, those are. And you probably haven't seen them in a while. Back to Toledo's dad. It would be nice. Just go, Yeah, I know I screwed it all up. I just wanted to say my. It's the last chance, you know, you get a chance to maybe even say you're sorry and go back up and tell them to go after. Exactly. And give that person the opportunity. And when you. If you do that, you have to take the opportunity and say, this might not go over well. Just because I'm going in to say I'm sorry doesn't mean I've earned it. But I. I would go back to you and how you're saying I do it at a different time. Because you're basically putting. You're making yourself narcissistic. Actually, at that point, just wait until afterwards and just say, that's the time, I suppose. Would you go back for Brian Adams, Girl? Maybe it was a big part of your life. Yeah, it was a. Maybe. I mean, drop a Choco Taco and that casket and stuff. It would just blend in with the other one. I don't. Yeah. I don't know. No, maybe it was such. It is a memorable part of who I am. But I don't know that that matters enough to go in there and say, like, I don't think there's. There's. There's no attachment now. I don't know. That's a tough one for me. Like, people say it's how the spirit moves you. Whatever. Sometimes you never think, oh, I wouldn't do this. But you never know. You're motivated. You're like, you know what? I think I want to stop. I think if I'm 50, 50 on it, I shouldn't go. I think better course than that is to not go. If you're not sure, don't. Like you said, don't make it about yourself. Yeah, just pay your respects privately. Whatever. Nobody there wants to see me. You know, to Brian Adams, girl, there's no point. There's no family that's gonna even go like, oh, it's so glad you came. They don't care to see me. You're more than likely gonna get. What the hell is. What are you doing here? Yeah. Oh, what is this? Might be a couple of people that floated on the salt river with you. Yeah, maybe I don't want to see them, though. If I did, I'd still be in contact with you. That. And there you go. That's why high school friends are like, that's why I never want to go to reunions or anything. I said, catch up with people. I'm like, you've had the app. You've had telephones. Like, reunions made sense before phones. Now there's phones. If you wanted to catch up with someone, you could have phones. Instagram, Facebook. Yeah, you could have. Yeah. And then you add in all the other stuff. But, I mean, once the phone was invented, getting in touch with somebody you haven't talked to in a long time through, like, a reunion or a funeral or, you know, it can happen accidentally, but if you're trying to find it, you could have done that. Yeah, I think you're right. Tom Sizer, who I went to the baseball game with the other day, Coach Marty, the baseball guy, he goes, I guarantee, after the other night, you're going to Coach Marty's funeral. Well, Coach Marty and I became very close in that two and a half hours at the ballpark. Coach Marty was awesome. What about celebrity? I'll go to Sizer's brother's funeral. Problem? Oh, yeah, no. Yeah. I'm not going to Sizers unless there's a, you know, the celebration. I'll go to his parade. Like, the Sizer's gone for it. Celebrity. If you had the opportunity to go to a celebrity funeral, would you. That's one that I don't ever understand. No, I don't. I don't know them. They don't know me. Right. It's like you're talking about, you know, Ozzy. Yeah. Look how many people came down there. Yeah, but I mean, are you talking the Concert or the actual. Like, the funeral procession that they did on the streets. The concert I would go to. That's a concert. I'm talking about the procession. And then they. All those concerts, it was open to the public. We didn't know that was a funeral at that time. That wasn't a funeral. It was a funeral for the music. Yeah. But I'm not lining the streets to look at a casket roll by. Yeah. I watch it on tv. I get a better view. It's the reason I don't go to nascar. Yeah. Like, I get my seats, get a view for, like, a couple seconds, and then I got to wait. Yeah, it's. That's a strange one. Anyway, Toledo's going through it right now, and dad may or may not. You know, you got to brace yourself, though. Maybe he does sit there and go, I got to make amends before he. Because he's close to the end. Toledo's real dad is. Can't be young. And he's probably sitting there going, I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, and I can make a. For himself. Even just to kind of soothe that feeling of like, I abandoned an entire family. And maybe it's time before I go to. To confront that for half a second, Take my lashings and walk out on this. Walk out on them again. Get another pack of smokes. Oh. Looking at you, I realize why I did it. By. I'm sorry. Here's a 20. Your Richard. Yeah. Here's the sound you're used to. Go start the car. Yeah. So I don't know. Maybe. But Toledo's right. That prick never did anything for him. So Toledo doesn't want him to show up. But if he did show up and paid his respects, you got to be like, all right, dude's trying to sav a wound. No. I'd be out. I'd still tell him. I'd throw him out. You're not. Yeah. I wouldn't let him. Like, thank you for popping by. Go home. And I can't remember this. The current wife? No. Huh. Does she know the one? He knows, I think. Yeah. Because I know the sister does. I'm pretty sure he's like, I got another kid. But I never tell him. He's. He knows it's got a. It's got a way on him. I don't care what kind of prick you are. It's got away on you a little bit when you've done that. Anyway, sorry for Toledo. That's a tough one. By the way, you can also still get those Shane Gillis pre sale tickets for another hour and 55 minutes and you use the promo code LIVE. Shane Gillis dot com. You can go there. It'll redirect you the word live in the promo code, opens it up for the pre sale. And those tickets are going fast. Got a text yesterday that said they are selling tons of pre sale and that's a lot. So if you want to get on that, they go to say on sale today at 10 o' clock for the December 5th show with Shane Gillis. And they gave us a special KUPD code to track how many of you guys are actually going to go. So use the code live and get your, your, your Shane Gillis tickets before the general public just blows this thing up. It might sell out pre sale. That's how big that is. As far as the, the lower end, they weren't worried about the rest, but they're. They sold a ton yesterday. So keep an eye on that and see if you can get those. So shankillas.com and the word live. This is from a guy whose dad bailed. If he showed up to his mom's funeral. I'd probably pull a Brett on the west side. I just dropped a body off. Yeah. It'd be another good way I go to the. Oh, David Vasquez's classy. If my first love died and she had a hot sister, I'd go to the funeral to see if I could hose her too. That's nice. That's nice, Vasquez. David may have swung me on the throne. Now you're a classy bastard, Vasquez. Classy. Good man. Yeah, it's a weird one because funerals don't appeal to me as like a thing that I feel like if it's. Again, if I'm, if I'm a little on it, then, then I, if I'm like, maybe I shouldn't. I'm not like I have to feel 100% like I should be at this. Yeah. To go. Otherwise it just feels like I'm kind of interloping or crashing it. They don't like you. You don't like them anymore. Why are you going? Toledo says rumor is his wife Gwen does not know about me, but my two half brothers know about me. So they may have said something by now. I'm sure they did. That's too big a family. So it's not like Brady's family. That's a secret. Somebody say they're not doing it right, then. Yeah, they're not repressing Their feelings and thoughts correctly. Talk to Brady. He'll tell you how to smash that down into the kidneys and have doctors pull it out. After so many years, you know, your kidneys swell up with memories, and then you get it out of there, and it's over. I don't have to think about that anymore. There's a thing I saw yesterday. Brady, maybe you can help me with this. How many. But, Brett, how many times have you gone to a concert or a baseball game or something, and it's like, man, this was cool. And you met. So you got an auto. Brady, you even went last night to Toto, Christopher Cross and Colin Hay from men at Work, right? Yep. So you went down to that show and left with an autographed poster, which you purchased. Yeah. A memento from something somewhat meaningful. Correct. You and Kirby's last day together. I mean, it was pretty awesome. It was. Brady took his daughter at her request. Right. She wanted to go see because she's a stoner, and he won't admit that at all, but she wanted to see Toto, Men at Work and Christopher Cross. She's 17 years old. I couldn't believe how many songs she was singing. Right. Puff, puff, give. She sits there and listens to vinyl with her other stoner friends. What's this one, man? Oh, this is a Men at Work. It's cargo. It came out in 1983. Man. It really makes me feel fine. I like this, man. The dude Bogan and her dad went to go see that last. And you left with an autograph poster. Yep. Why? Let me ask you that. I thought it was kind of they had it up there, and she had pointed that out. Oh, there's a. Because you wanted to commemorate. Yeah. She'll have. Right. Just in case when I move on. Right. Well, you don't know. Just in case she can look at that and say, that was a fun night with my dad. Yeah. And this is something that will live with her probably. If, in fact, you did just get run over by a bus today. Right. That would mean something. Right. And she'd keep that until the day she died and maybe even pass that on to her kids. And it was a memento of. Of meaning. My dad has his dad's and his dad's dad's guns, and he's dying for me to have them. And I'm like, I don't want them. I've never seen him. I have no attachment to these. He's like, you should have it. I don't sell them now. And, like, had A knife collection. Right. You don't know anything about it. Right. But he wanted. Right. And you have them. And you. He's like, I want you to have. Right. And you don't know, but you still have them. Right? It meant I do. Explain to me how we're still having archaeologists try to find Jesus's wine glass. Brett, you've been to concerts. Oh my God. Last Supper. No, the one where he started to turn water into wine. Oh, really? No, there was one left. Some wedding. No, there's not. But archaeologists are digging around like up found them. And I'm like, no, you didn't. If. Why didn't anything mean anything to the people watching Jesus? Enough to keep one effing artifact. They've got no evidence. They've got nothing else. Jones found it in the 30s, right. They're still debating over the shroud. It's not, it's not a real thing. It's not. They don't have it. If they, if they had it, it would like reveal some other deals. They found something and they're trying to push it out. They go, please, we have proof. We have a dead guy's rap. If you get. But all this time and energy spent on remembering this, properly documenting it, the book, the this, and we can't find. And we still are digging around going, was it here? Did that happen? We don't even have like a marker. People get run over on Bush Highway. There's a marker at least where they died. Can we get something from you? People who believe that isn't digging something up in 2025 saying, I think we found it. Why didn't anyone pick up anything along the way? You don't know where the tomb is or what. You'd have a concert ticket to Jesus on the mount, right? You'd have like a moment like I'm remembering this. Like you'd do a tapestry or a drawing, put the ticket stuff on your bulletin board, like back in the day on your old style cork board, your, your year zero cork board. There's an archaeologist that is there and it's said they found an unearthed fragments of large stone jars identical to the one the gospel claims Jesus used when he turned water into. I forget what they call those jars. Jars. Mason jars. They call them jars. Anyway, it says these are the stone jars we discovered. Could be the same ones that the Bible mentions. Jars. You found jars and you instantly went to the Bible because you're in Jerusalem. They've blown. They're at the party house. Look, they've blown that place to bits. The white house from the cowboys. Have you seen Gaza? Jesus probably wandered over there to go to the beach now and again. Right? We don't know his teen years. He could have left a whole bunch of stuff laying around. We're not. We're pretty cavalier about blowing everything up. You're not going to find anything from Jesus if you didn't keep it in the first place. I'm telling you right now, if a guy came in here and goes, I'm the son of God, and he split the building in half and then he put it back together, I'd be like, somebody take a picture. Remember this? Why are we still looking for stuff they should have all collected? Maybe this loon came over claiming to be the son of God because it was controversial. Still take a picture of it. But people kept all the documentation. They don't have anything. They don't have writings. 300 years later they did. Where's the stuff? Well, those writings. But they have writings of events happening. Right. And it's all debatable whether or not it's tied back to the bible or who this person, some of that stuff, you know, nobody documented a thing. It drives me bananas that I had to watch this news story and try to take it serious. We found some jars, might be Jesus's. I found some socks. Same if. No, nobody kept anything. And I'm not a religious person. But can we get. Can the blame start going back on this a little bit to go? Not a very good group back then documenting this whole son of God thing. And I know you're saying it was controversial, but there was a group of people that ended up winning this argument and got a bible out of it and got a religion out of it that. That seemed to follow him around pretty good. You'd think one of them would be like, here it is. Even in bravehearted Marin's little thing, he gets it back in the end. Somebody kept it. It's just. It's ridiculous to sit back. Well, we found some jars. Like, why didn't anyone? Like, we don't even know where any of it happened. I think I read that one. The jar thing that mentioned. And then the place where he was buried. Where'd that happen? They just recently. Don't know. You think you'd have paid attention. They rolled back this stone. I'm like, here it is. Find it. Look. This must be it. It's like Jesus was here. Is written on the wall in Latin. It's pretty cool. It's written in old English, like on the west side or something. Well, his name was Jesus. I mean to be honest, Jesus was here. Jesus was here. Nazareth for life. Mother, this is it. We found it. And I would believe it, but they're still looking. Nobody put a flag or a cross where the cross was. We put crosses up if kids die on the freeway. We didn't put one up when he did on a. He could have kept the one he was on. Well, the place where he was crucified was a popular place. Golgotha, the hill. That's right. They did a bunch of them. Okay, so he was. He was basically another Saturday. Right. But he was the most important one. Somebody would have kept it. I have an autograph of Ray Burris. We had who he was a pitcher for the cubs in the 70s. It means I have a picture of me with Bill Buckner. It some Roman soldier or some family gum Luis Gonzalez spit out on the. Somebody picked it up and sold it for ten grand. Luis Gonzalez spit gum out once. We still have it. We're a collecting species. Why didn't. I'm only asking. I'm not debating your beliefs. Why didn't anyone pick up anything? Go over to Forest Lawn in Burbank, California. There are. They went to great lengths to hide artifacts and art from being destroyed during the Revolutionary war. It's the 1700s and it's in pristine condition. In Burbank we've got everything. Like when do World War II. What's the first thing they did? Let's get all the important stuff out of here and get it over to Poland. Let's get all the stuff out of Poland now. It's coming over here. Let's get it over here. And they got it to safe places. They knew the most important person in history according to the western world. We don't have one shoe. Nothing. Nobody kept. Someone had the. The top of the cross for a while, but then house fire. Oh, does that it? Yeah. And they didn't run back in and get the cross. No. It seems like they saved the family first. Dumb dumb. I'm telling you right now I could know everyone I love in this world could be in my house if it lit on fire. And I had some cross in the attic. Going to the attic. You're all fend for yourselves, folks. I'm taking Jesus's cross, which by the way I have it doesn't make any sense to me that we have nothing and we're still looking. That tells me something. And they're looking. They're not sure where the Noah's Ark Thing is hilarious to me. That story is so huge. So found that. No, we didn't. He built one in Tennessee. And when you see it, by the exact specifications the Bible says it might fit, I don't know, a veterinarian's office. So then you got to go. Well, it was also magic. I'm like, oh, Christ on a crotch. You'll see when that thing's floating after. Okay, Hurricane Aaron sweeps good. I hope so. I honestly hope you're right. But I'm not on this. You don't. You don't hope. I don't think the Ark and the Tennessee is going to be. I don't think it was real to begin with. I don't think it's a pretty silly story. But if it is real, that means a lot more good stuff happens. And then a whole bunch of people kill themselves, end up in heaven. Nobody monitored a thing. And there were people back then going, no, this is the one. He's the one. Not one of those dudes kept it. But 300 years later, we have no beforehand, terrible records beforehand with what? With the families, you know, like the, the slave being freed from Egypt. Oh, sure, we knew historic stuff and then we built the story. Sure. Just the same way. This little 33 year time and nobody has any evidence of. And then the other again. And then it's like Quentin Tarantino doing Inglourious Basterds. And yeah, that historical event occurred. And here's my take on it. And all the Nazis burned in a movie. He just made up a story inside a real event. That's real easy to do. It drives me a job too. Oh, it's an awesome movie. And someday maybe people will look at that in 300 years. The same way the Bible was written and go, this must be what happened. And that becomes the real thing. Because nobody wrote anything down. Nobody like made a mark. You'd think so. Like, I know where Compton Terrace is. There are some who X marks the spot. Like X marks the spot. We're still looking for treasures from pirates and they show up. But again, it comes back to the story Fart. But as far as you know, they've. They've unearthed the house of Pilot. Pontius Pilot. They say houses existed. That's not surprising. Pontius Pilot could have existed whether or not that trial happened or whatever, you know. So there's Pontius Pilots. That's the first, you know, as far as characters they're talking. Did he leave his driver's license? How do they know for sure it was a house? They Found maybe house of pilot. You know, it could have. Oh, it could have been a house of pilot. It could have been Amelia family. Yeah, right. Yeah. I still don't find that broad either. That's right. Could have been other pilots. They've been finding her for 50 years now. They still haven't found her. They'll find her before they find any of this Jesus stuff. They. They found the Titanic before that. That's true. Brad's right, because we all had a pretty general idea where it was. So the Amelia Earhart thing did not happen. Or did they at least have some evidence from that? Well, they don't know how it ended, but they. Sure, we still have relics. We know she existed. We got some pictures. We have some documentation. We have her clothing story. Yeah, there's probably a museum with her stuff. Yeah, we kept everything. We could have at least, you know, a table or something that you hit a goddamn baseball. Like if you hit two grand slams in an inning. Hang on to that thing. Let's get that to the hall of Fame. It stays somewhere forever. Barry Bonds breaking the record. You know, all that stuff we have since the beginning of man, like, keep that. That's cool. Keep that. Put that in a museum. We always, like, keep it safe. Put some gloves on when you touch that. We still have Chris Kattan's cigarette butt that he autographed. We have Chris Kattan's cigarette butt that he threw on the ground. Like you can't litter at. Made him pick it up, sign it, and it's in our office. And when we leave, we'll all remember the story exactly as it happened. I don't understand this. Holmberg's morning sickness. And she wasn't looking for the cups. She was digging for something else. And she's like, hold on a second. Pretty close to when that water wine thing happened. I think I'm. I think I found some jars. Stop it. If we didn't care enough to keep it, quit looking for it. By the way, the Instagram story of that, where they're at the festival and he's doing the water wine. If Jesus had an inspiration. Wait for this. My mom's gonna love this. This is great. That's more believable. It said at the point the water wine thing happened, Jesus reputation was spreading rapidly. His disciples had been chosen by him. And he never once said, guys, here's a shoe. Hang on to this. Pass it down to prove I was real. Hang on to this. He didn't hand out his flow hose to somebody. He'll make New flow hose. He'll just. He'll just Copperfield a couple new flow hose on and then give his old flow hose to somebody and go. You all saw that, right? Dude just manufactured some flip flops and gave us his old ones. That's amazing. He had his air hosannas. They were just. Nobody kept any of that bread. That magic ass bread that came out of nowhere. Happened multiple times, right? He's pumping bread for thousands, and he only had was one loaf. And fish. And fish showing up out of nowhere. Nobody kept like, this is the bones of a fish. That dude made magic fish. I'm keeping this just in case. It drives me bananas. Someone. Someone didn't finish their fish. They decided to keep it. Dude, if I had doggy bags back in the day, right? Now if I'm in a Bruno Mars show and he's like, I have a fish. Like, cool. Now you all have fish that's getting shrink wrapped. I don't know how he did that, but I ain't eating it and I ain't throwing it out. That's a magic fish. Brutal. Mars just gave me. I didn't expect it. It just showed up like, well, how did he do that? He turned one fish into like 2,000. Now we're all eating fish. I'm putting this in the freezer. And I'm never. Wedding cakes. We save a slice. There's at least 200 David Blaine and Criss angel cards out there. You get to play that playing card that you do name on it. I have a ticket signed by one of the members of Faster Pussycat, not Tammy down. So I don't know who. Brett. What's his name? I think. I don't know because I went to after the Gold Rush after they played with Motley Cruelty and their last Tammy's like, we're going to have the Gold Rush after the show's over. All you need is your ticket to get into. After we left, jetted out of Compton Terrace and drove all the way over to after the Gold Rush to stand in line to watch Faster Cat not do anything for four hours. You got your money back. He signed my ticket. I did. Well, that was different. No, that was Ricky Rackman with that rat thing. Oh, that's right. But it wasn't Rat. It was Pig, actually. What he. Ricky Rackman. Tammy down from Faster Pussycat. Two dudes from Rat and a guy from some other cruddy band came out and said they were they. I did an impromptu charity jam at after the gold rush for $9 and 82 cents. It was like 988 or something. I might have been. KUPD might have been doing. It was like that. And I'm like, oh, sweet. And they went out, and you realized after song one, these guys have never played together before. So, like, do you know it was like a rehearsal with guys in the first day. Do you know? Train kept rolling. Oh, yeah, yeah, we know that. And then. And they know. Each of them knew about a quarter of the song. And then it would go off the rails. Like, I don't know the. I don't know the. I don't know how to transition to the next. I don't know what the next part is. Oh, okay. And then they'd stop and they'd discuss what was. It was the worst thing I've ever been to. So fast forward to when Ricky Rackman was here and I bitched about like. Like, you. You owe me nine. I don't care if it was for charity, for. For dying kids. You stole from me that night, and I want my money back. And he said it was for kids. And I'm like, you guys didn't do anything. Just. Just say, give me 10 bucks for a child. I'd have done it. You put me through hell that night. I had to go stand in line. I had to wait. I had to get in this thing. I luckily got in there. Horrible show. And he came back with nickels. The next time I saw it, two years, 9.88 of nickels, which is H. Yeah, it's weird. But I kept. I kept the ticket to Faster, Pussycat Motley Crue, and Lita Ford because someone from Faster Pussycat signed it. It's in my. It's on a cork board in my attic from my childhood that I'll not throw away. Now the question is, will it last 2000 years? Don't know. Yeah, I'm not doing a lot. I'm not doing. If it was. If the dude gave me Magic Fish. Christ. Wasn't much of a collector. Okay. I would put it in a Ziploc. No. Nobody was around and leave stuff. He's like, I got nothing to leave. Sure. He did his little ocd. He had to clean things up. Storage space. I'll tell you. Right. He left a big stone. He left a cross. He shot wine. He mother. Shot wine out of his leg. Don't drink that. He was out of his side, by the way. Worse. Weirder. Cool. I poke him right now, and Pinot Noir comes out. Out. I'm just staring at Brett for a second, and Capping that we're gonna hang out. Olive oil anyway. Nobody, maybe no one will believe me. Like you remember Brett on my show? Yeah, kind of the Italian weirdo. Yeah, don't talk bad about him. I poked him. Pinot noir shot out. Oh, bowl. I'm a. Come here. Come here for a second. Most delicious gravy. We're not drinking or eating it. You calm down. You don't eat magic stuff that magic man made. You remember who you're talking to. You're not sipping out of that wine. No, I might take a. I might put my tongue on it. But I'm getting capped. Yeah, you'll keep all of it. Not and put my tongue on. And then I'm gonna put it back in the thing and it's getting preserved forever. It's the most precious thing I own. But all you. Nobody kept any. Have good bottles back then. Pulling up jars now. Yeah, but they're empty. They didn't. Somebody chucked the jar on the ground and left like it's the side of the freeway. Brett shoots magic juice at me right now. Don't you dare. I'm keeping that. In fact, I'd blow Brett to see what else comes out. If he had wine shooting out of his side. I'm like, give me that thing. What is this? Alfredo? I'll eat it. No, it's just. Damn it. It's the same old stuff. I've got you fooled me do. Somebody would have kept something. Quit looking. You'll find something eventually. But quit to quit. Quit looking. I have mementos from stuff that I want. My teddy bears, 53 years old. If I shot wine out of my body and was the son of God, somebody be like, here is this glorious Teddy that he loves so. And they would put it in a museum immediately. They had museums back then. And I'm telling you, if it was that important, we'd have kept something. We have Kennedy's brain. We have Rasputin's dick. We have William Wallace's DNA just in case. We kept everything except him. It drives me bananas in this story. And you know who should be mad about it? Religious people. They're the ones that should be. How nobody kept anything. And you'll get the crappy people. Well, they got this one. No, you don't have anything for sure. Yeah, I got some for sure. There's enough evidence around it. As far as confirming stories that happened. No, there's nothing. Yeah, the stories that are talked about in the bible of cities 300 years after he died, that was written yeah, his. His account, but I'm talking about everything else in the Bible that they're talking and those accountable. There's no evidence. There's like cities. Did. Did the disciples go to. Did he go to Corinth? We knew cities existed. Yeah. And you can write a story around what was real, and that doesn't mean it's real. Without any sort of weird evidence. I can sit back and say I've been to Tuscaloosa. And you can believe me because, you know Tuscaloosa is real. But if I don't have any evidence of having been there, you're just got to take my word for it. And by the way, if I went to Tuscaloosa, said I built like nine buildings and there are no buildings there. Did I? Yeah, yeah, the cities. Of course they're not going to write phony cities into the story. That's. You got to have some credibility. It wasn't like, oh, he was the mayor of Gotham for a year. Like, well, wait a minute. This has holes. This one says, what you guys don't realize is back then, proof was eyewitness testimony from multiple accounts, which is what Jesus did. So in their minds, they had proof, but they knew better. He told them. I'm just saying, if a dude shoots wine out, human minds save stuff. We're savers. Well, we're big time savers. They also say, you know, they're talking about medically. What people could see, too, is when you're crucified, you die, basically. Suffocation. Breathing. And so fluid would build up into the lungs. Wasn't one. So when they put the lanced them on the side to finally finish them up, somebody drank it. Liquid and blood mixed in. Sure. Pus. Bodily fluids. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm not. Look, that makes sense to me. The wine shooting out, I'd have kept that. I'm not even a believer. But you make me a believer pretty fast. If Brett fires wine or ragu at me. Me where he should be bleeding, and I'm like. And it's good. I'm sure we'll have videos of that later. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm hoping. See what you asked for. But I'm certainly not going to sit and sip it and go, I'm polishing this off. The wine that came out of that guy is fantastic. I'm gonna go back up to the tap in a sec. No, because one of the dudes that did it supposedly screamed out, holy, he is the son of God. Like they knew right then and there. We should probably keep some of this stuff now. Throw it all away. We got more to do. Like that doesn't make sense. We have. Supposedly Russia has Hitler's stuff that won't give it up. We got it somewhere. I just don't understand that. You should have saved something is what I'm saying. Slap your own wrists. It's your own fault. This thing can't get like, you know, cemented. Knock it off. I think I found some jars. They might have been Jesus's. That's pathetic that you guys didn't like, like go to his house right after and go, here, put this stuff in boxes. Can you sign this for me real quick? Have him sign something. Brett's right. Sign this. Why? Because I'm getting your autograph. You don't think somebody had a Jesus autograph? I have some pretty stupid autographs in my life and I'm not. I won't throw them out. Jesus is numbered. 1 of 1. And you know, I mean it'd be great. Todd McFarlane made a little action figure out certificate with it and everything. Yahweh. Yahweh. I would have said Yahweh. I'm cool with that. You pricks didn't save anything. And it's your own fault. This thing gets. You know that. You're gonna argue with me? You just weren't thinking about that back then. Yeah, they were. They saved tons of other stuff. The big. The whole crux of the religion is they were good document the ones who were trying to. Right. The whole crux of the religion was they were good at keeping the story straight. They didn't save anything. I find that hard to believe. It is amazing how the story has remained not really parables and things have passed on for years and ages and whatever. Every. Every single. And it's changed. And every single culture has something that's gone on for ages and ages and ages. So that part's easy to tell a story over and over is easy. Show me a shoe. If Brett died right now and keep something his. I'm like, I want a memento of Brett's. You meant something to me. I'll leave you my. Leave you my horn. Brady Tuesday. Oh, I don't want that. I think that's like bad luck. That's like. That's like Beetlejuice stuff. I don't want that. And that's something that'll last a long time. Yeah, the horn. Yeah, sure. Gold. There was gold back then. He didn't have much bling. I'm saying he had Bling. He had something. Did he have a crunk cup or anything? I mean like a little John Crunk cup. He saw the Last Crusade. He was a simple guy. He did cool. He was a carpenter. He built some tables for some people. He had a Maryvale cup, but he kept the Jesus table. You know they do that with Jackson Pollock. Like Jackson people find out they've got a Jackson Pollock, they didn't know they had a Jackson Pollock. And suddenly it becomes super important if hey, remember that guy down the street made us these tables? Yeah. Turns out he's the son of God. Like, no kidding. We should probably keep these tables. Well, you talk about learning about faith. I still hope one day on the antique road show. Awesome table from Yahweh. I would like that as a non believer. I'd be like, here we go. I've never seen this but. And the dude's like, I just got it at a garage sale. He says it with Yahweh's. I don't even. $5. It's signed on the bottom and some sort of whiny blood flavored thing and everywhere. Every once in a while I'll tap it and fish show up, up. This is Jesus's work. Oh, I thought so. Now he told me it was Jesus the carpenter down the way. But I just assumed a Home Depot situation was developing. Dovetail. Very nice work, actually. What if he was bad at it and that's why these tables suck. They're all wobbly. Jesus doesn't know what he did. He didn't spend much time on it. Well, he didn't get old enough. He didn't have to. What do you mean? On the table? I mean once. Once his. I love this about you. Right now. Go ahead. Well, you know, if he was a carpenter, he was sloppy. It's a little sloppy. Well, no. Focus became on basically spreading the word. So his work stuff full time? Yeah, he gave up. Yeah, but gave up the woodwork. A lot of the time he's like, oh, is that okay? I don't remember reading that part. It's like, I can't do any more wood. I would take your order, but I'm busy with the other stuff. I got three years. I got three years to. People would rap on a store. Hey, I. I could use a kitchen island. I'm sorry, I don't do that anymore. I focused on spreading the word of me. And there could be that one day. Yeah, he. I want to see it. I have a partial chair. He never came back and finished it. Yeah, he Lost his license with the register. Gary Harper from Channel three is like. We chased down Yahweh to see why he took the money and never finished the job. I'm spreading the word of God. You guys, leave me alone. Excuse me. Jesus, can you. Hi, I'm Gary Harper. Three on your side. How come you never finish this job? Look, I'll give her money back and some fish. Will that even it up? We got money and fish from the carpenter. But still she needs half her chair finished. He gave us the name of a good other carpenter that can finish the job. So he, you know, followed through. Sorry I didn't finish your table, but I fed 5,000. Oh, I had another table to cover. Yeah, the woodworking. If I found out right now that that piece of crap painting I have in the garage is a Jackson Pollock. Suddenly it becomes something I'm hanging on to and treating with great reverence. When you die Tuesday, I'm gonna take your shoes and I'm gonna put them in my house. I'm keeping part of. Brady Cody said, don't be putting down Brady's faith. He might be meeting him on Tuesday. I'm not putting down his faith. I'm putting down the people who believe it. Where's the stuff? You guys did a poor job of this. You should really start talking about that. We really did. Hard to crud each other. Let's not do that again in the future. Jesus. We've got records of Caesar and some of his things. That was before Jesus. Yeah, we got his stuff. Where's. Come on. Egyptian kings, I mean, but why? Because they were important. Chinese emperors, because they were important. We find them all the time. They're in tombs and giant pyramids. They built something kind of cool. But how many artists became really important? I'm talking about artists after the fact, or people that. People in Egypt and things years and years and years before this, who had their stuff. He wasn't basically royalty at the time. To a bunch of people he was. And they didn't do anything about it. Not quite. Not during his life where he's alive. They wrote books about it. There were plenty of people chasing him around saying, he's the one, he's the one. I'm talking about them. I'm talking about you or anybody else who was wandering around, questioning things, talking about them. He said, explain to me, John, if Jesus isn't real, how come he shows up on Mexicans toast every few years? Checkmate. Got a good point, Donovan. Good one. If the guy gave you cheat codes to life And a few years later gave you a completely new set of cheat codes. How would you accept either as valid? They had to rewrite the damn thing. I know that's an argument. I always. So to me, the more you talk, the more Jesus sounds a lot like Trump. It's true. You think we're not gonna turn this political? Here we go. I don't know how Trump got involved. Second coming. I had a second coming with that porn star. It was a great night. Yeah. It's just weird to me that the archaeologists are like, look what we might have found and we never looked here before. I'm like, what? Just don't have any areas pinpointed with some sort of marker. I. Sam Kinison. There's a stone marker where he died. Much better. Who's the guy? No. Caesar Brady was before Jesus. But they. They, you know, they're coming up with areas that. Where this person lived. And you know, I'm just saying personal artifacts. Your argument to say they didn't keep good records or keep stuff is untrue. Because Rome period. And they're still discovering stuff. I know you can discover all day. You haven't discovered a thing from this dude and you got all this? No, they had. What? I can't physical. Then don't say they have. Well. Well, let me let them get to the handbrake. You're gonna go to the handbrain and say what of Jesuses have they found? And it'll go. What affects. Stop it. They haven't. I bet you though from his time. From him. The existence difference. Because we know the time existed. We know stuff was happening. These archaeologists didn't save a concert ticket. Not one. Plenty of people showed up to the Sermon on the Mount. Nobody wrote down like, this was an awesome night. 8-8-2. I mean, you'd write it down. Diaries. Nobody kept like one. Like that was a pretty cool. I was hungry and there was no fish. And then there was fish. Just saying. And that's what the letters were supposed to be, right? Were they? Nobody kept a thing. Yeah, and here's some of his hair. Not nothing. I mean, Pamela Anderson. Borat tried to steal her head. I mean, we try to keep things of important people. Gotta keep an eye on that. We got Luis Gonzalez's gum. So Luis Gonzalez's goddamn gum is in somebody's house and spent 10 grand on it. Footballs that get kicked over 66 yards go to a facility. We're collectors. Humans, all of us, naturally. You bought a Toto Christopher Cross Minute work poster to commemorate A night. We're collectors. We collect things. Would have meant something to somebody. Stop telling me exactly. Would you die? Well, and I'll know. But, like, through the documentation of. This was his house. The historic records of Bogan, like, found some old recordings of this could be him. We found a whole bunch of useless beer cans under earth. And then this radio thing, it was this guy. I'm not saying it's not real. I'm saying you didn't keep good records in a time where there was a lot of record keeping. Here's what AI says about it. Carbon dating has often dated purported relics to periods much later than Jesus. Okay, so we have some things from before we kept religious significance. Artifacts hold deep religious and cultural significance to believers are largely considered either relics in the sense of symbolic importance or even forgeries rather than artifacts by many historians. None of that says, well, we found a few things. Like, there's still a lot of, I think, you know, Catholic churches that say, oh, we have the bones of Peter or Thomas. They keep them in that tabernacle in the church, but you can't see them. But, no, they haven't. You can't test. They've tested a couple of them and said, nope, that's not it. Right? Yeah, because they're lying. That's all. Drives me nuts. Quit looking. Just believe you're making fools of yourself every time you say, it's over here. You got something? Yeah. Cups. Oh, God. You found his silverware? I think so. No. You don't know where he was. How do you know where to dig? Don't get me started on the Moses thing. You spend 40 years walking through the desert, and there's. Found him. There's no bones. There's no, like, cities like that popped up. There's nobody who stopped and put up. There's nothing. Anyway, don't get. I'm not bashing the religion. I'm just bashing your collecting, your evidence. Collecting is poor. This was a court case. They'd be like, you got no evidence. I believe that this happened. It doesn't matter. Found a cup. I'm gonna dig in my backyard and find some cups. Don't you start on the Mormons. Found the silver tablets in Missouri or Pennsylvania or something. And if he was up there, I guess he traveled up to. He went to Little League, World Series one year and dropped off some tablets. It's crazy. It's like History of the World where Mel Brooks shows up with 15 commandments, drops 1 10. 10 commandments. Where are those? They're in The Ark. Oh, yeah. They're locked up in a warehouse in Washington, D.C. right? To keep that dude goes up to a mountain lightning and comes back with tablets with language written on. Like, look at this crap, guys. Somebody saved this. Like, I'm serious. Somebody invent shellac now. Put them in the Ark. Indiana Jones marching around him and Marion got him. Destroy some people with the power of the Ark. They made it to the 40s with nobody seeing him. And then the Nazis wrecked it. Top people are looking at it right now. Yeah, that's right. You think you'd have kept that? God just made these tablets. I'm gonna tell some people about that. And then we're just gonna wreck them. I'll leave them here. No one touched these. They're very heavy. Get some donkeys and stuff. We'll drag them. God damn it. They're gone. It's nuts. What do you got in the big board of musical treats there? Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And I just got to pull this up because it's just. Got it from Josh yesterday. They're doing a big Labor Day sale. It's going on August 31st. Goes through 9, 7. So it's weekend. Yeah. No, it's next weekend. Yeah. So at the Gilbert store, all snow gear is going to be 20 to 50% off, and both locations are going to have deals on used demo bikes, all in stock. New bikes are going to be on sale. All the accessories, helmets, lights, bike gear, all at reduced prices, all at Action Ride shop. Go to actionrideshop.com for all the details. I don't think that poster's posted yet, but they'll get it up there. Yeah. Yep. So on the heels of yesterday's conversation of having to put ridges on coins, you don't think one of those Jews would have said, hey, this might be worth something later? That's a good point. Just saying it's worth a debate, that's all. Believe whatever you're not bashing, but it certainly is something that I don't want to hear. So I want somebody on the religious side to go, yeah, horrible job. Terrible job. I've got a fact, right? They always want to shoot back. So, yeah, I had a bad job. It's really been a tough. It's an uphill battle on the last Ozzy. Bullet for My Valentine, Blue Oyster Cult, Don't Fear the Reaper For Brady Primus, My name is Mud for Shreking. Static X. I'm with stupid for Shreking. And of course, all the death ones Motorhead killed by Death. Mastodon's guitar player died yesterday. Tear Drinker, Funeral bell from bls. Faster Pussycat Making Listen and all the Jesus Talk Ministry. Jesus Built My Hot Rod. I think I like Jesus Built My Hot Rod a lot. I'm with stupid for Static X for the whole Shreking thing because that's. That's a beautiful deal. You're Shreking, you're with Stupid, and you're proud of it. You're being Shrek out there. Gentlemen. It's a beautiful thing. Crazy. There you go. Guy says, I'm a believer. But it is tough when you don't have any evidence. That's right. That's where you guys have to lean in on the faith thing and just run away from the argument. Faith doesn't mean anything. If I have faith that it's not true and you have faith that it is true, neither of us can prove it. Right. No matter what it's like. Your point is, Is there any physical facts? There's no. There's nobody. Dude, does that sway me on my. I. I still have faith that I think those events did occur. Sure. Not. I think some of those. I'm not saying the events didn't occur. Right. Why don't you keep a ticket? Keep something. They kept organs from, like, Egyptian leaders from hundreds of years before that. I mean, I don't curse at Peter or Paul or any of those guys. Say, why didn't you? I would have. If I met him. I'd be like, dude, what was with the. Oh, yeah. We weren't real big collectors back then. Your daughter has a Toto autographed poster now. There's stuff all over the place. When people just gain a little notoriety, we ask for things from them. And that's never been different. It would have been cool if he did sign something before, you know, a letter. Wrote him a letter. Amazing. And one last thing. Yeah. It's round. That's it. That's what I like. So one last thing. The earth is round. See ya. Oh, my God. This guy's crazy. So the earth was round. The prostitute didn't have anything. Really, really enjoyed dinner with you last night. Like a thank you note. Yeah. That was fun. You're sweet. Thanks for picking up the tab. Just for future reference. It puts people off if you keep telling them that you're God's kid. But I'm with you. It's nice. But he writes one back. Here's some fish. I'm keeping that. Yeah, Christ stayed with us for a couple of nights. Thank you so much for. He didn't write a letter to the people, like, hey, could I stay at your place for the week? I got a crash. I'm. He had a down pad. Just a quick desert. Thank you. God bless. I know. I'm kind of inventing something called Airbnb right now because I usually had spare room for just a weekend and then. Yeah, like, write a note. You guys were super hospitable. Thank you. Here's some fish. Well, the guy just left us with loads of bread and fish. I'm gonna hang on to this letter. He seems special. Let's do it. I'm with Stupid. For sure you don't have it. You got the edited version. Oh, yeah, I do. There's one big S bomb, and so if not, we can play the regular. You better not do that. All right. I see what Brett's up to. Very wise, Brett. You're thinking of the people. That means I'm gonna hang on to your hat when you get. I'm gonna keep this. I'll sign it for you, too. I'm with Stupid. Says it's not in here. Here. It's not. I'm not playing it. What? All right, I know where the S is. Okay, we'll knock it out. I think I do. You can't understand Wayne Static anyway. What does it matter? All right, here we go. I'm with Stupid. It's your Wake up song. Knock it stiff. Oh, boy. Nothing but trouble banging into the computers around here. All right, let's try this now. You got it. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Frank G's here, everybody. Look at that. Frank just showed up to sell tickets to his show tonight. Finally. It's here. Yeah, it's. I'm back. I didn't realize I was here Wednesday. I didn't realize I was here. No, I. Well, last time I was at the Desert Ridge Improv was in late January. I'd forgotten it was so. That's right. Such a quick reset. There's some. There's some. No, no, no. Almost new setups because, you know, punchlines are the same if you have never seen it. It's all new material. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. But I. I had to be here for Brady's final show. That's right. I wouldn't miss it for the world, but I almost missed it for dog grooming. Appointments go on, Frank. It's that close. Tell us more about Brady's final show dedication. Listen, when I. The first time I ever came into the studio with you guys, I am. I immediately noticed your talent. John, thank you very much for that. Appreciate that. Few years later, I realized Brady was part of the show, not just a producer. That's right. He wasn't just a guest too. No. I did think he was just stopping in and selling it. Advertising or like a make a wish or something. That's what I think now. Oh, okay. 20, 25 years later, you're like, maybe he's a make a wish. This is just a make a wish. But it's going really well. It's well. It went well for one of the parties. Well, sure. Quarter century of making that wish and that wish would never die. And now this. This. This music making me tear up. Can you give me Cats in the Cradle? Think of father. My father. All right. Yeah. This is like a reverse Darth Vader. You are his father. There's something I wanted to tell you for. Somebody just text me and asked a great question. If Hitler was still alive and was a match, would you take his kidney? Don't say. Don't say nine. Nine. You would take Hitler's kidney? Yeah. Really? I wouldn't. You. I. You would, right? I think I have Hitler's kidney on my mantle at home. I think that's a band. Hitler's kidney is. Oh, my God. I think it's a good band name. Right? Write that down. Is there any person. Is there any person who, like. Would you take like one of the Harbaughs, like Jim Harbaugh's kids kidney? Sure. Would you take Ryan Day's kidney? Yeah. No kidding. You take from the thing you love instead. What about the kidney of the mascot of the Michigan Wolverine? Yes. Yeah. Well, see, that's. That's cutting into him. I think that makes more sense. You'd take a kidney from anybody. Yeah. Where's Kirby? She still doesn't want to give me a kidney. If you talk to her about it at all, take back the poster she didn't want, like, she's just walking on eggshells around you right now, hoping you don't even not bring it in the same room at any time. She didn't once say, you want one of mine? I'm young, I'm strong. No, not yet. But I don't yet. Wait, you're holding out. We're getting a little closer. Yeah. Talk. Yeah, I'm leaning up to her. I'm not asking her. You haven't even. You haven't even looked at her and gone. Ah, I'm back. Anyway, I gotta believe I haven't played it constant. I gotta believe that's happening. I gotta lay down because of the failing kidneys that nobody's helping. There isn't any passive aggressive. How you doing? You're back. Good. How's your urine flow? I might have made a couple of cuts and Kirby just goes, good one, man. And walks out of the room. We've made Kirby Jeff Daniels the dude. Because she's a stoner and he won't admit it. She's changed so much over the years. I don't know what's going on with the dad there. Maybe like just. You leave hints like some kidney beans just laying around. Just trails. That's a good idea. Guinea bean salad for dinner tonight. Aren't we cutting it off of close like we got operation days. The 26th Tuesday. How long will you be in the hospital? What's Kirby going to be doing? They're doing this at a hospital? Yeah. No, he's a day's home. Yeah, he's going to diy save some money. If somebody was going to try and save money on their kidney operation, what's that going to run me there, Doc? Typical Dr. Rosenstein. And Kirby's doing the appropriate thing on your surgery day. Yeah. What is? She'll be around for the surgery part. And then Pantera that night. Going to a concert or you're laid up with one less kidney. Yeah. She hates you. Hey, man, you only get to see Pantera once a lifetime, man. Come on, man. I got to go to the show. That's her. It's always about you, man. Man, how long are you in for? That's. Is that probably overnight? That's it. Sure. Yeah. You know, it's a couple days. Usually you would be. They. They probably days. It could be a second day. They said for sure a day. But normally that procedure you can go. You don't have to stay overnight. Sometimes they want me standing. That is not an outpatient surgery. Surgery. Kidney removal. What I heard they. You're not having ingrown toenails done. You know, I mean, Jesus. What I heard. Those are never the things. That's what I. What I heard. I don't know. You could leave if you want that day. You'd be crazy. And we'd probably have to send a team after You. But. Well, then I mine. The reason only you know, from what the doctor told me, is if your kidney. If you have one bad kidney. Kidney. And the other one is good. It isn't. But I have polycystic. You have bad kids, you have the bad. So they want to make sure it's functioning at the level it needs to be. And that's not going to be like one test. They're going to keep you at least a day. I gotta believe they're testing to see if you're human first. Yeah. See if gravy's in there. They'll know when they open. Read what you found immediately. Hospital stay after kidney removal ranges from one to seven days. All right, so pipe down. I can leave the same day. Bmi. Oh, no. It's gonna be there for years. Patients who have undergone the keyhole surgery. Laparoscopic surgery can often have a shorter hospital stay. Right. Between one and seven days. One to three days. That's right. You can't leave the same day. If I see you in your gown and your id, I'm just wandering away. Doc says you gotta keep me moving. I got my coffee filter for the kidney. Can we get. But let's get back to the fact that Kirby's going to a concert that night. And never once you guys have even had the conversation where she goes, goes. Not gonna do it, old man. You're on your own. No, I gave her a little guilt trip on. Of course. Yeah. And she's still like, you're hilarious. Yeah, that's good stuff. Two for Bantera, please. We'll get to it, man. So never. I thought about it a little bit. About taking. Taking it in her sleep? No. And I thought, you know what? She's up in a bathtub. I want her to go in a bucket of ice. Of course you want to go to the show. There's not much she can. What do you want, her kidney or her with Ron Wolf? Oh, David, you should be with your dad. Hey, man, I don't have to be with him. The hospital's got this. What am I, a doctor, man? I want her to do that. The dude abides, man. We're good. You want her to do that? You'd rather do that than get a fresh, healthy teenage kid kidney? You're crazy. Well, I can't take that healthy kidney right then and there. You're her father. You can do whatever you want. That's right. Then it doesn't give you that kidney. I brought you into this world. I'll take you out. I Brought your kidneys here. I can have your kidney here. His name is Paul. That would be fun. Make a little number out of it. Hey, man, you're talking me into. Do it anyway. There's a sign that says and Ronnie doesn't want to even test to see if she can give you one. Hasn't said anything. So it's come down to us. Like we're the only. Gone down to that. How has that conversation not happened? He's a giver, not a take. It happened with us the first day. I'm not giving you my kidney. That was the first thing I said. Do you? Are you? I believe I said, I love you, Brady. I'm hoping for the best. You can get anything you want from me except the kidney. I think they're just afraid to say that. That they don't want to give. Similar to you. Yeah, I'm not. I'm saying, like, they're not gonna. They're just kicking it down the road. They're kicking the can until we. Let's just say I'm not gonna give you a kidney. Then do you start bargaining. What would you give me? You're right. Would you give Ronnie a kidney if the roles were reversed? No. No way. I think you would. You're one of those. You're a good man. I'd give Ronnie Crawley. I'd give Ronnie. You would give it to her, but not him. Well, come and I know she's going to treat it right after I give it to her. He's going to pour salt on it. I'm feeding it pizza directly. Correct. I got a port. That is. I asked for a pizza for dialysis. No, it's for pizza to the kidney pizza pit line being put in. Kidney's hungry, isn't he? Nom, nom nom. For kidney. You'd be shoving pepperoni like Cookie Monster. Look at him go. There's a pizza filter that they're gonna put in there. Yeah. Every morning we'd be sitting here doing the show if Brady had my kidney. And you'd see it slinking across the thing to try to get back and make. Get back here, you little jokester. He must be hungry anyway. Sorry, Frank. You've been here for all of it. But I love it. Yeah, I think it's fun. And you know what? I may need you starting. Pray for Brady. We're going to have. We're going to start with a hymn. Jackass is acting like he's getting a root canal. They told me I could leave same day. You're Missing an organ. Hey, doc, I'm ready to go thumbs up on this whole deal. You won't even be like, it took 24 hours for me to have all the. The drugs out of my system in 24 hours, maybe. What do you. Overnight? Yeah. What are you. You're gonna be there for a couple days getting cleared that. Hey, are we taking bets on this? 48 hours. Hey, jackass. You should want to be in the hospital for a couple of days to make sure everything's all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. You said you wanted to leave the same day. You know, they. You're not taking this very seriously at all. This is. No, why would I. You stay. You're a. You stay. You stay because they need to monitor you for sure. That's really. What. You got a cruddy kidney remaining. They have to make sure that that thing doesn't just immediately die. It's at 9% function. Yeah, it's the Ralph Macchio kid kidneys. It does the crane to the heart, sweep the leg. You have high blood pressure. You have issues with that. They're going to be monitoring you for a couple of days. What's your normal blood pressure? He doesn't know. 180 over 110. That's normal. No, no. 148. 86. That is with pills. That's with pills. That's not normal blood pressure. Yeah, I usually don't take my blood pressure. Not on pills. Right, because you'd be dead. So your normal blood. That's a good chance. My point being, being this surgery. You have high blood pressure. What's your A1C? Syrup. That's what mine is. You have high blood pressure, too. Yeah. I thought I couldn't do one of my oral surgery because it was so bad. It was 2. 36. Holy. 135. And the oral surgeon looked at me and said, that's a struggle. You have to leave. Yeah. To the hospital. Yeah. He said, you have to go to the hospital. Which I think they have to say. And he goes, listen, I can't do this because. And he's very funny. He's like, I can't do this because I. I don't want to be in the newspaper. I don't want to be the guy who killed him. Like Hulk Hogan's doctor. And he's actually coming to the show, one of the shows this week, in case you fall. Yeah. He's like, there it is. Whatever. Like the. Like the Wimbledon ball boys. In case you drop. He's got to go fix you and Put you there, run back, run out there. Here's a guy went out for a few seconds. Boom. Yeah. Boom. Literally. Yeah. All right. Well, Brady, we're all. You know, Frank wanted to come in one last time. I know it's the only reason. Oh, no, no. To promote his show and. And also to talk to you about this, but. And we are going to be doing. We're going to be do a GoFundMe. Yeah. People in the audience would get pretty. For Kirby. No. For more pan. To travel. Better Pantera ticket. Hey, man, that'd be great. We're gonna. I'd like to see him up in San Fran. I hear that show spectacular, man. Traveling limo. Yeah, man. I'm in. Hey, you guys want to stop by the hospital? I think I know somebody in there, man. Yeah. I just find that shocking that you guys at least haven't had the conversation, like, sit around the table and go, that's a pretty big deal. Your dad would have taken your kidney or Rocco or Terry's. Rico. My brother Rico. I said Rocco the dog. I said Rocco meaning Rico. You're right. I got him confused. I get the same. I have the same confusion. One does the books, and the other one is your brother. I think Rico is my dad. Yeah. My dad would try and find a way to finagle it. He'd at least ask, right? Every day. Yeah. I think he'd bring friends to ask. My dad would say things like, I. I know that you probably would do this, but I would never ask you for a kidney, despite my failing. So if you needed a kidney, would you ask that of Megan? Hells, yeah. Yeah, you better give it to me. She's o skinny, okay. Hells yeah. And I think she'd be quick to go, here's one of mine. I'd take that little baby girl kidney in there. Oh, yeah. Oh, hot, sexy. I'm in a pornhub. Baby girl kidney. Anyway, I've seen it. It's. It's not as. You've seen her kidneys? No, not hers, but I've seen that porn. Yeah. Have you? The kidney stuff, and it's not that great. It's not what you think. It's on blackd.com where they go in with a camera on the tip of the penis, and it gets all the way to the kidney. Is that a real thing? Blacked.com. you're just now learning about it? No, I think you've told me about it before. Or even if you haven't, I don't want to hear more. Anytime when you black logs and these hot white chicks. Anytime. When you say you haven't heard about fill in the blank yet. I know it's something I shouldn't know anything about. Wait for today's videos. Do you want to give Friday too? Friday videos are the best. Do you want to go give. I'll ask you. Because he won't. We want to give Freddy a kidney. You guys are the same shape. No. Okay. I got to save it for. I tried. For your kids. For my kids. Just in case you give your kids a kidney. Would Joey give you a kidney? Probably right away. Oh, no, I think there'd be a lot of. And would you ask him? But would you ask him now? Honestly, I'd want to just go. Yeah. See, that's how I would be. Like, it's all right. Nobody, Everybody I got. I saved money for all of you. Yeah, you're all set. You're good. Good. This is a free pass. You and I have a very similar take on that, and we're both fine with it. I'd be the same if somebody said, here, we got a kidney for you. We're. Put it in there. Be like, all right. Yeah. They don't. But I'm not going to search for one. They also. I mean, they also know that there's been three or four people have. Have offered already. Who? My brother, my sister. Oh, and you're not taking them? Not yet. I got a get through this first thing. Oh, I thought you could do it all at once. No, I don't think you have to go. You didn't ask that question. What's that? Can we do this all in one shot? If I get a kidney, I can't. Okay. So I have to wait six months. Oh, you do? Yeah. To make sure you're still clear. Valuable. I would. I mean, yeah, take that one out, put the new one in anyway. Brett's not going to do it. I'm not going to ask. No? No. Not even a thought. All right, it's time for the Brady report. Maybe the last one. We'll miss you, buddy. This is a big deal, and if I see you wandering around, same day, I'm gonna kick your ass right in the kidney. I'll tell you what. You. I mean, you look great. Frank, don't. Don't do that. He doesn't need that right now. You know what's good was when you walk into the hospital, like, doing the pre check stuff like, I had to go in, get a cardiogram the other day, and there's the Person out by the trees outside the hospital just smoking away. Sure. He knows he's got a tough day. Every day I've gone in there. Can I. Can I ask what. And you guys probably have addressed this, or maybe you're not supposed to, but. What happened to the forehead? What happened to your. Oh, he cut it on a tree this morning. That was this morning. He ran into a tree. I left a mic stand under the tree. And he sees shiny things like a raven. He ran to it and hit the tree branch. Get out of the car. And here's this shiny mic stand. Ow. Yeah. You know what's really pathetic? I walked into a tree the other day and had a leaf on my head for half a day. And nobody in my family told me. Why are you guys. Is that a thing of high blood pressure? You just wander into trees? I like the thought of short people. Cardiogram. Brady had to walk into. And the guy's out there. Don't do it. All right, Tony, fire up the Brady cardiogram. Here we go. It's overheating. Foreign. These old machines only cost 100 bucks. It's time for the Brady report. Hopefully Brady will be back to do another one soon. But if not always, cherish this one. It's brought to you by our friends@allprochade.com. we'll need shade in the future to stand under while we say our goodbyes. Or maybe just in your backyard drops that temperature 20 degrees. In your backyard. You got a place where you could do some shading? In your backyard. You got some spots. Oh, yeah, I got plenty of spots. All pro shades talk to all pro shades where we need to go and get Frank's house all shady too. It's beautiful. Brady reporter. Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. We've made it. Sure have. Happy National Tooth Fairy Day. That's right. Yes. A couple of basis fun facts. You know what I leave underneath my pillow for the tooth fairy? You still have that problem? A kidney. Oh, does it all the time. When a kidney fairy. My kidney fell out. He checks under his pillow every day. What I find from the doctor was. Doctor said there's a good chance the kidney fairy will leave me a few bucks. I just put it under my pillow and he told me right after the procedure, like right after, you can go, you can go. You're just gonna smack in the face. Why are you still here? Up. Up. Well, you plan on sleeping the bed sleeping all day. And then your grandpa's gonna come by and elect you. There's trip Reeb. He wants to come and say goodbye, too. Heard the segment. Terrible. You want to come say goodbye? Tripp, you know, I don't have to pay you. Yeah. You know that at one of the stations that I worked at? Yeah. Oh, no, the main guy. The main morning show guy. Yeah. Donated a kidney to the engineer at the station. Just a couple co workers. No one hears. Kevin and Bean. Bean did that? Bean did that to the engineer at Kock, Scott Mason. No kidding. And everybody was fine afterwards. Were they great friends? Dead. But how'd he die? Kidney failure. Is that true? Is that real? Okay, good. None of. None of it's true. None of the story is, by the way. I made the whole thing up just to make Brady feel like crap that nobody hears off. So really, now you're saying. And this is aimed at me, by the way, Ultimately. Yeah, yeah. You're aiming to give it to him. Yeah. Main guy, you keep saying. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. I've got two kidneys, and he deserves one. The reason Bean gave his kidney to your engineer is because his engineer was going to be trustworthy with it. I. I can't. Was Scott good to the kid Kidney? Yeah. It was probably a nice one. I would do it if he promised to make sure that my kidney was well taken care of. And the second I see him eating pizza, I'm gonna punch him in the nose. He wants a prenuptial. Yeah, Yeah, I want to pre. Kidney. I want to prenup the kidney. Yeah. All right, if you can arrange that, I'll do it. Okay. Yeah. You get some paperwork drawn up. Otherwise, people are going to jail. All right. Who was that reef? Oh, he pops in. Sounded familiar. Yeah. No, I'm here. Frank didn't give a kidney to anyone like Bean did. Isn't it funny? Kidney bean. Kidney bean. I get it. All right, go ahead. Hurry up. The last wild cow died in Poland in 1627. They were wild at one point. Yeah, I guess they had to be. All right, I've seen a few of them. Them wild cows. Yeah, wild cows. Usually it. You know, they used to be at Fiesta Mall a lot. And then I was gonna say pre op. Pre op at a kidney center. No, no. I was talking about the ladies cows. The first athlete in the US to ever earn $1 million in his lifetime, over his entire lifetime, was in 1882, boxing bare knuckle. That wasn't Jack Johnson. No. Baron Von. Baron von Knuckle. Who is it? John L. Sullivan. Oh, John o'. Sullivan. Okay. The other guy that we would know. Okay. It takes 872 gallons of water to produce one gallon of wine. Wow. That seems wasteful. Also seems like it. Wine is underpriced. Yeah, exactly. We should. Yeah. If it's a buck, a bottle of water. Water for me to drink out of a bottle of water is a dollar. Think of the money Jesus could have made. Oh, my God. We were talking about him earlier. Really? Yeah. Nobody saved anything. It's like the only historical figure we have. No. And there's a recent article that they. And they just. So there's some archaeologists. Jars and like, maybe this is it. And I'm like, you guys don't even know where anything is. Quit acting like you paid attention. You didn't. We don't have like a hat. Like Indiana Jones hat. Do you think Jesus had pretty cool hat collection. Probably a table. Sandals. A Jesus original sandals. It was a carpenter, right? We were talking about this, Frank. See, it makes sense to you too. You got my music. Chachi's a little. Yeah. Chachi. Yeah. No, I don't know. Just skip that. In a new poll, 47 of Americans claim they've never done anything they consider evil. 10% say they have, but only once. I guess it depends on your threshold of evil. Yeah. Have you ever been. Frank's been evil. Have you ever done anything like. Wow, that was bad. Like steel. Like a significant thing. Or hit and run. Couple though. Yeah. Scratches on a car. And then you don't leave a note. I don't know if that should have done something evil. Yeah. And they don't put a definition on that. Evil gets into, like, torture pranks that end up really just mean. I mean, half of this morning would be. Yeah, yeah, no, see, you know what? Actually the conversation with Brady dying is fairly evil. Brett's not going to ask. You don't know what you're talking about. Just leave him out of the evil conversation. He's got evil in his trunk right now. There's another new term in the business world called quiet cracking. When your boss thinks you're doing fine, but you're secretly burnt out and struggling. Okay. It's the stage between burnout and quiet quitting. It's called having a tough day. Get over yourself. Not everything needs a name. Tick Tock has a new hangover cure. It's like an ice bath, but you basically dip your face in some. A bowl of ice water. I do that all the time. It's great. One expert actually says, yes, it's very effective. Feels fantastic. Ice water Is amazing for you, by the way, Ian schwartz from channel 3 just text and said I haven't listened this week. What is Brady having done? Nobody. Routine kidney removal and something. It'll be in and out and it's no big deal. His doctor says it's a good routine. Good. You know, we have a 911 stair climb September 13th. The firefighters put it on. We climb up and down stairs. Oh, Bray's doing it, right? Yeah. September 13th. And he goes. Doctor did say he wanted me up and about. You weren't gonna do that if you were healthy, let alone running around in these things with half a kidney. You heard of this thing called the Boston Marathon? Yeah, it's in April. I should be up and bouncing by then. I was a big marathon guy pre kidney problems. I'll give you my kidney if you run a marathon next year. Not gonna happen. I know. So you're getting my kidneys, like staying put it. And now it's time for some science news. Do you have it? I have a version of it. Okay, go. I don't have to delete it. Hello, my friends. Professor Brady Bogan here with your science news. It'll work, Frank. There's more going on around Uranus. Christ. The James Webb Telescope spotted another moon. Did we talk about this? The other day? And I said I wouldn't. I wouldn't bring it up because I knew. And now he's doing it too. So now Uranus has 29 moons. It's a cute one, too. It's just six miles in diameter. Hit him in the back once. All right, move on from there. Holmberg's morning sickness. An object from outside the solar system. The one that's coming towards us, hurtling towards the Earth. An object is. Yeah. The Harvard researcher who made a comment. Might be alien space kidney. It's going to implant itself somewhere. The Harvard researcher who thinks it's aliens now claims it's emitting its own light. Cool. It could mean it's a spacecraft powered by nuclear energy. Sweet. I hope it's the kidney Frank was talking about. And Kirby catches it like a foul ball. Hey, man, check it out. And then just chucks it in the trailer. Let's do some Pantera, man. There's a study that found that seabirds only poop while flying. There's one type of bird called the streaked shearwater. They don't like to relieve themselves while floating in the air. They just take off briefly dump it, and then return to the same spot. Huh. That's science news. I don't question it. No, I don't either. This one's pretty amazing because it could be huge for 15 million people living with spinal cord injuries worldwide. Researchers in Israel are planning to perform the first ever spinal cord transplant. It's an in and out deal. The guy will be out by five at night. Don't even have to stay today. Replace the damaged section of spinal cord with new section grown in a lab. Lab. Using the person's own cells. It's already been tested on animals and it worked. Their goal is to help paralyze patients rise from their wheelchairs. They can make fake spines. And you can't get a kidney out of your kid. Kirby's five years out from making the kidneys. Step it up. Step up to the plate, Kirby. That's it. That's your science news. Something ain't right there, Frank. Now that's amazing. They can make fake spines. Now, a few people I could suggest get a backbone. Yeah. Frank, in your old home state of Wisconsin, Milwaukee, we have a lady that's facing felony charges. She caused $10,000 worth of damage on a door dash driver's vehicle because he brought the wrong wing order. Gotta get it right. Faith Morris just beat the tar out of the truck. There's a picture of the car. Oh, man. She did a number. She went. Ah, just windshield stuff. But still. Oh, she took the side off. Mary, you told us. Can we tell the story what your dad did? That guy when he door dinged him. I think the statute of limitations are probably gone by now. A little beige paint on his driver's side door. Brett was telling us. Were you a kid? Yeah, I was like 10. Yeah. And he sees his dad, look. And he goes, what? What? And he donkey kicks the car next to him. Breaks off the mirror and put it under their tires so they'd run it over too. Just to. Just to add insult to injury. What in the world does this mother think he's got? That Celica had a dent this big in the door. Huge foot dent got a little. You got a little peanut butter in my chocolate. I'm Kirk Fessley, Goddamn it. It. Yeah, that. That I love. The Beef Bandit has been arrested. It's happened in Denim Springs, Louisiana. No, he hasn't. This guy was robbing meat from Walmart. Stuffing the meat packages in his pants. Delicious. They finally caught him at one of the Walmarts. Here's a picture of the dude. And check out what he was packing in his pants. She's. Louise is like 15. 16 different. Different stakes in there. Frank's parachute pants. When he's a break dance. He said that like he was jealous. Look what he was getting in his pants. That is a butcher section. Like Tetris of meat. That's impressive. This guy's got a little Leonard Nimoy to him. Yeah, he does. Nathan. Nathan or something. Are you jealous that you didn't earn the nickname Beef Bandit at one point as. As you're starting. I'm not sure you didn't. Was somewhere along he's been called that. But they said it behind his back. Not knowing how proud he would have been had he heard it. Yeah. He's my Robin Hood. Jesus. That's why you're not getting a kid. Finally, this guy in Boca grand. He was a fishing for shark. He caught one. I don't know if you saw this or not. No, he was pulling the shark up and it bit him. Oh, cool. That's what you get when you play with sharks. Had to be airlifted to the hospital. He survived the shark. Thank God. Yeah, I saw that. Put the guy down. In and out. Got bit by sharks. Doctor said I'll be out of here in 30 minutes. Took it to an urgent care clip of the Adam West. Oh, no. Where he's being Shark is on his leg for like 30 seconds. And while Robin's looking for shark repel. Yeah, Robin. We need the shark spray. And it's biting his leg. And it's just kind of nothing kicking at it. Was that the movie or was that the show? I think it was the movie. I think it was the movie too. Because somebody climbed in that helicopter. Yeah. The bat copter. Lowered the ladder down. Yeah. And the ladder was the length of a football field. And didn't they have the. In the can it said shark repellent. Yeah. Bet you didn't know I had bat shark. Thank goodness I brought the shark repellent. Old shark. It took me 30 minutes to find it on this belt which is riddled with too much stuff. Too many things I need to sort better. Robin. Alphabetical is probably the route to go. I miss Adam West. Batman. That should. That should be on a loop somewhere. That should be on a channel all the time. I just have one. All right. Then Brett hits us over the head. This is. Remember we saw the presidents, the leaders of around the world doing. Yeah, we're the world. This is a little takeoff. If they could pole dance. It's AI pole dancing president. That's President Trump. That's Putin. It's just there. This is weird. Jung's kind of hot. He went through it. He couldn't do it. AI is. Is taking some turns. This is where dreams happen. Like, AI Is like, we've. We're taking. It looks like my dreams. Not that that. But the way things aren't quite right, and you'll walk through a wall or something. I'm, like, kind of the way my dreams work. So computers are starting to, like, manifest in dream state. All right, Brett, here we go. All right, start off a little eye stuff for you. Oh, I can't do eyes. Oh. It's a guy with tattoos all over his face, and they are taking an exacto. What is that? A needle. They're gonna put a needle right in the eye. There's a needle going into this. It doesn't. Look. Look. This is tattoo. He's tattooing his eye, isn't he? He's getting a tattoo of some sort on his eye. Right. Right in the cor. Right in the middle. Oh, come on. Ah. Oh, they're. Look at all the ink. They're putting ink in his. Either turning the white black. This is something he wants, okay. Oh, he wants to be a lizard person. Yeah, he wants to be one of those alien lizard people. He's like a doll. And that's. Now he has. Is that permanent? Yeah, probably. He seems satisfied, but again, he's got over 100 tattoos on his face, so it's not like this guy makes good decisions anyway. And one of the tattoos on his face just says inked. Duh. No kidding. Wow. Isn't that part of, like, an old school nursery rhyme, like, stick a needle in your eye? Yeah, yeah. There's a classy broad for you. Stick a feather in your eyes. No, I think it was the feather in your hat. Call it macaroni. That's right. That's the one I'm thinking. All right, here's some. Somebody on a Porta Potty urinal, and. Oh, is this a guy? It's a girl. She's going in to lick the edges. She is licking the inside of a Porta Potty urinal, and she's rubbing her face all over the edges and everything. Oh, my Lord. She looks topless. Is she shirtless? Yeah, she is. She's naked in a Porta John, rubbing her face all over. Oh, what is this? That. What's wrong? She's in there filming her. Oh, my God. You'll see this. Oh, look at this. Yeah, this is Frank's closer. Would you take her kidney? Yes. Yeah. All right. All right. I gotta believe there's gonna be some damage to that kidney. Yeah. Well, I mean, yours. No, mine's fine. His. Oh, his. Yeah, yeah. No, no, that. They would be equally matched. Yeah. Brady treats his kidney just as bad as she does. Going with your latest phobia, how about some Asians eating. Oh, I can't stand this. Oh, another frog sashimi. Oh, this one's still alive. It's kicking around and it's been. Its head's cut off and it's still moving. This is terrifying. They open up the frog by cutting its head off, violently ripping it, and then putting stuff inside the body of the frog. Oh, and then they just skinned it, and now its little eyes are blinking on the. The plate. This is what Doc Hopper wanted to do in the Muppet movie. Pine hawker with the. Oh, there goes my outer region. Okay. Think it's Kermit. Doc Hopper finally got it. Look at him squirming around on the table. Biggie, couldn't you just lick a urinal? Yeah. Oh, my Lord. That's how they. Here's. Here's one we haven't seen before. Okay, this is a guy holding his penis. He's got a straw in the urethra. He's drinking his own urine through the straw. Oh, that's not urine. That's not urine. That's not urine. He's having a moment, and he's spitting it right back into a cup. And it's brought to you by a fast food restaurant in the Midwest. And the trend continues. Okay, here's another one where a guy is. Oh, she's got a funnel in her nostril, and a guy is finishing. He's in the funnel right into her nostril like a neti pot. It's going through, and it's going all the way into the throat. That's how she swallows through her nostrils. Because it's all connected. What has happened to Uma Thurman? He did. It did look like that. The outtakes of Kill Bill are not good. Yeah, yeah. Wow. All right. I don't remember this one. So we'll just. Jackie Chan. Oh, God. Oh, God. It's a. It's a rosebud and somebody's. Oh, there's fingers in and out of everything. There's just liquid flying out of this thing. Oh, look at that. Look, Frank. Oh. Oh, there's some finger maneuvering that's going on there. That's pushing things in and out. And we'll finish. I think your seat belts on. Did you finish? I'll get you a towel. I'll get you a towel. All right. There's a lady who is cutting the tip of the penis with a knife. She's gonna cut it right off. No, he's cutting it right off. This is a common video. We see. Why? I don't know. There's a whole group of people out there that can't stop cutting, mutilating their genitals. And they've got a friend who'll do it. So they met somewhere like a Applebee's or something and said, so, what do you want to do Friday? There it goes. It's off. There it is. Oh, my God. And look at him. He's right. After that's done in and out, Super Mario's gonna jump on that mushroom 500 points. Okay, well, thank you. All right. There you go. My goodness. There's ever been. Been a better time to turtle. That was it. That's the one. Well, possibly the last Brady Report. I'm glad you're here to see that, Frank. Thanks for coming in today, Frank. Yeah. Aren't you glad you did. At this point in the show, whenever we here after that. No, I do have people ask me, like, do you really see these videos? Like, yeah, we watch them every day. They're horrific, and they're different every day. They're happening, happening all around us. There's somebody out in this city right now with the head of his wiener cut off from an activity like that. Yes, there is. It's. We've seen 12 or 13 at least of those videos. It's happening more than you need to know. And those are the people just filming it. There's people do it, don't film it. I mean, if you're gonna do it, film it. Oh, yeah. If you're gonna do it, get some clicks. Yeah, yeah. At least get a blue check mark out of the deal, Master Clickbait. Good one, Frank. I'll remember that. Remember that until the day I die in recovery, for 30 seconds. I remember that till the day I die, which is 72 hours, 72 more. It's. There's your Brady report. My goodness. It's 98K upd. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Brain's gonna be doing that. Day of surgery Tuesday. Frank Caliendo's here. He's at Desert Ridge Improv tonight. One show tomorrow, two shows. Dale Hellistrate's going to your show tonight. Oh, Dale's gone. He's going to be there tonight. I thought you were sending him somewhere else. No, we were good. No, last week he went and saw the Scar brothers and his wife doesn't like cussing, so we were going to tell him they moved to the Tempe Improv and we got him four tickets. And then. And then it was. Stevo would have come out and done skyjacking and pee pee jokes. A lot of dick and Dale would have. You guys are jerks. And like, would have been hilarious. But we sent him out to this. He's coming to you this weekend. Okay, cool. You know what show? So I can avoid him tonight. Oh, tonight. Okay. You can't avoid. Avoid him. No, you. You will not be able to not see him. I think John Bloom's coming tonight too. Oh, no kidding. Yeah. The Sun's guy. Yeah. The radio Sons. Yeah, check it. Kevin Radigo, the other voice of the Suns. I have to do play by play of my show of your show on the stage. Yeah, that's a great idea. Great plan. I love that idea. I think I'm talking about new bits. Let's go over and see how it's got halftime. Do a little halftime show with the studio again. Oh, that's actually not. Throw it down to the side. Yeah, I like that idea. Throw it down to the sideline reporters and see how it's going. They've got a little booth. Like that's actually a good bit for you anyway, is to just say, I don't know how you. Let's see how this thing's going. Let's go down to the sidelines. And then you do the impression of a sideline report. Right. Like, you know, started off strong. I don't know who you would do. Who would you do? I don't know. I don't do any women. All right, isolate that Toledo. I know you're on Montana, but let's get a clip of him saying, I don't do women. Yeah, we'd have to do like Ernie. Oh, man, you're making Ernie. And you can turn it to Ernie and Shaq and Kenny and Charles. Yeah. At the halftime report. Oh, yeah. The music can just start. Yeah. Oh, it's halftime. Okay. And then you just go through that. Okay. Are you going to do that? No, not tonight. But someday. No, it's a pretty good idea. No, I love it. But you're not going to do it. I think I'm Going to probably make it a football thing, I think. Yeah, that would be because he could do the Fox. Oh, Jim. We thought it was gonna be good here, but what happened? Here we go. Oh, wrong guy. Who's talking right now? Tony? Yeah. See? Coming up with ideas for you. Yeah, finally. Finally. I'm delivering on something. I agree. But tonight you're. What time? 7:30. Six early. Because they have it. Somebody else doing the second show. So 6:30 tonight and then 6 and 8:30 tomorrow. Early birds. Yeah. Oh, this is great. Yeah, I love, love it. I gotta get home by nine. Yeah. You got stuff to do? Yeah, I got sleep, dad. That's right. I gotta get up at 4:30am for no reason. Why? I just. Do you wake up at 4:30, I'm up jonesing for a morning show on your own. I do. I just don't. I usually. I gotta pee. That's weird. Don't do that. Yeah. And then once you pee. Well, no pee, but I mean, just go back to bed. I can't. Oh, that's. Yeah, you can. You're just. You know who else goes to bed early? Gruden. John Gruden. He wakes up at like, he gets up at 3:30. I get up at 3:30am every morning, man. I'm like, what time do you go to bed? 6:00pm like, he came to see my show last time in Tampa, when I was in Tampa. He came to the show, he was there, but left as. As I was leaving the stage, he left. I texted his right hand man, Jeff Leonardo, and I'm like, is John here? Does he want to say hello? Because I just seen him at the ffca, which is a. A strip mall that's got his office in it that they've redone. But the fire, the fired Football Coaches association, man. So he's like, no, John's. John left. He's. He's probably almost in bed already. He goes to bed that early? No kidding. Do you go to bed when the sun's still up in the summer? Do I. Yeah, yeah, I was. I was in bed early. I was probably in bed at 8 o' clock last night, but then I was back up at. At 11. How about that? All right. I'm getting yelled at from Montana. I know. I tell you what time. All right, we promoted you enough. Frank is there. All right, we're gonna get that together. We got the entertainment drill coming up in just moments. It's 98. Holg's Morning Sickness. All right, it's time now for Brady to give us all that entertaining news we call the entertainment drill. And it's brought to you by our friends@reactdefense.com the home of tactical Black. Just got an email from the kingpin over there@reactdefense.com, jay Aerman. And he says taking his his son and daughter in law, Josh and Tiffany out to see Frank's early show tomorrow. Oh, cool. So it is imperative that tomorrow you do not suck. Tonight you can suck. I'll do my best. Dale's going tomorrow. We got some VIPs in the building so we want to make sure that they're all out. Do they want to come say hello after the show? I guess we can set that up for you. You want to your people? Yeah. All right, I'll tell them. Go say hi. Yeah. And then I'll just move them on, shuttle them. Right? That's it, said I. Yeah. Then they'll do a Tactical Black move. Yeah. Maybe you try to attack them. Oh, great idea. Really smart. Yeah. They won't know. They won't see that coming at all. The comedian goes crazy, tries to attack them and we'll see if they have any defense for your comedy moves. Or they'd just be laughing too hard. Anyway, they're going to be out there. If you want to go, go be part of that. You can meet them at Frank show or you can go out there and meet them at React Defense right there where they are. They got the house of bruise up there in North Phoenix. They got in Glendale. They're everywhere. And so is a weirdness. So if you want the weirdness to be around you and unprepared, sure, go about your business the same way you've been doing it. But if you want to be a little prepared, you want to be smarter, the only thing to do is go to reactdefense.com and get in great shape. Start becoming a sheepdog and stop being that sheep and live life a little more confidently. That's exactly how that works. It's reactdefense.com the home of Tactical Black. Brady entertained me for the last time. Apple TV plus is raising their monthly fee 30% from 999 to 1299. And if you're already an existing customer, it'll happen the next 30 days. It's reasonable for 12 bucks to get all that stuff. Rate will still be 99. Right. But there's 3,000 of them. Right. So if Apple TV was the only thing you had, you'd be like 12 bucks. This isn't bad. I'm Getting quite a lot of stuff. I play it, pay a little free for the. But then you got that, you got another 12. My bill for TV is insane. Yours probably is crazy. You've got all your stuff going on. It's like four or five hundred dollars a month at this point. Yeah. Remember when people used to complain about cable prices going up and everything was in the same place and you had to call every year and readjust it? Like with DirecTV. I remember McCain was the one that went nuts saying, we got a la carte this, a la carte that. And everybody's like, yeah. And there was that. I forget one. Senators, like, you guys know, right. He goes, don't do this. Like, they're going to. You're going to have 600. Your bills are going to be twice as much as what you think is unfair right now. For the same thing, you can get whatever you want, but it's going to be. It's. It's like more like getting a limo instead of taking the bus. Exactly. And you know what's better? Like, DirecTV gave you all you wanted and then had all those channels. Like, if you want extra, you can pay. Right. For each show. Like I said, they did packages of channels together, I think. Well, they would do that. But then at the end, it's like, we've got movies, too, if you want to buy one. Oh, right, right. You. We can do that if you want the movie thing. And it was actually a better setup. Yeah. Than the mess I've got going on on my TV right now. The only difference is I don't have any stuff. It's just a TV now. I don't have clunky crap laying all over the place and a box and wires and all that. That's good. Well, you can still do the direct with Netflix because they're going to have a new feature that will recommend movies and shows based upon your astrological sign. Okay, stop. What? Scorpios are said to be passionate, charismatic, seductive and mysterious. They'll get suggestions like Wednesday or the Night Agent. This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Leos, me, the Crown, Bridgerton, everything I hate. Why would I watch either of those things? So all Leos are British. What does that mean? I do need confident, generous and loyal. That's right. So why would I watch Bridgerton? I don't have the breakdown of the other. Good. Because it's me. Are you. You're not. Does Michelle believe in astrology and stuff like that? Does she ever get a nonsense? No. Good. The keeper right there. Nicholas Cage is in talks first season five of True Detective. Yes, yes. After I play John Madden, I'm going to have to solve. I'm going to be called Madden Lock Matlock, of course. All right, go. That's too good to come up with and not have a thing. I mean, you're over there. And then, you know, it didn't look like that happened. And boom, the old lady crunched him. I don't look good in white suits. This is kind of a white, kind of a gray. But you know, I'm good. I'm a little Southern. Southern. Matt. Southern. I'm a little Southern. I guess John Matlock is developing before our eyes. Is John Travolta gonna be in the new. That would be great if they did Travolta and Cage in the new True Detective. That would be pretty. That would be a pretty good matchup. Right? I think I'd watch. Will they still do the Face Off? Well, they would everybody be waiting for it just in case. Scraping the face. It just seems like we're missing a clue of something. We should be doing something else. Don't you think? Think not. Nicholas Cage. I mean like there's probably a way that I know that the people were searching. They know your face. So if there's a way we could get around that maybe. I don't know. Yes. Surgery playing this for a while. Surgery like to do, you know, kidneys probably would only be in recovery for 30 to 40 seconds. Couple minutes tops. Just get it on there. It just glues right on. Turn it around. Luckily our skull's the exact same shape. So this whole premise worked out and nobody questioned it because America's stupid. Out of the hospital in 60 seconds. Yeah, baby girl, I'm one kidney light. Here we go. Go ahead. Looks like we had a little meltdown with a little nx. He lost his mind. Underwear and cowboy boots though. So how much did he lose it and how much was just still him. Cuz you lose your mind and you still put on your trademark cowboy boots. You haven't lost it all the way. And it looked like he was not necessarily. Not necessarily staggering around. No. He's pretty talking to people and saying he was going to a party. He took all his clothes off except underwear, put his boots back on and started to walk down the street. And they've got video of him. People. I think that that's my dream in life is to be driving down the road and going, hey, was that little Nas X? Who? The naked guy on the road. And then to find out you're right. Like, I wanted to be the guys in the car that. That go, there's Jesse Smollet. Let's get him. Like, if that was a real story, to recognize a celebrity in the middle of the street losing his mind would be the greatest thing ever. Remember when Martin Lawrence just ran down the freeway? I would have loved to have seen that. Will you lose your mind eventually? So I can. I'm close right now. Are you pretty close? Real close. I would like a celebrity to just lose it or just John Love. Can we list or can we do. No, can be D. That's. I'm okay. You're perfect. Frank. L loses it. Frank loses it. People be like, we were waiting for that. I'm naked on the free. If you're out in my front yard, me and my dog are hungry. Come outside. And there's Lovett's in underwear and cowboy boots holding his dog. I'm serious about this. Like, some. Like, they're after me. Like, oh, my God, Lovett's. Get in here. My son is holding my dog. It's my actual dog. It's not what you're thinking. I didn't say hog, you pervert. I talking about my dog. Gee. Anyway, the government and. Are you buying lunch by the. Yeah, I was thinking maybe we could go grab some to eat real quick. You pay. Well, of course you pay. I'm not doing it. I'm not wearing pants. Where'd I keep my wallet? Jeez. I want that kind of thing to happen, but what are the odds? But lucky people driving down the road and one of them had to say, I think that was Lil Nas X. And everyone shut up. And they turned around and they were right. I could see Frank locking into a voice. And that's all. He's just into the forever becoming. That's the thing that would. Oh, you got in a car wreck and he was forever Tracy Morgan. Yeah. Oh, my God. What happened to Calendo? A Walmart truck. That's crazy. And you had to live your life like that. How long would Michelle movie. That's a bad movie. No, the movie is that you do have the irregular voice becomes Tracy Morgan. But you can still do all the impressions. But, like day to day. You have to walk around the house. I swear, Michelle, this is real. I can't get out of it. But this is still the real Frankenstuff. Frankenstein is a fun character that Oreos would make. I can't help myself. Anyway, I can still do all the impressions. So I'm going on the road. Frank Caliento gets kicked in the head by Tracy Morgan and suddenly transfers. That's a movie. What happened? If I'm Frank Allendo, you might remember me from such things as. I don't know, the Frank Allendo stuff. But by the way, it's called Tracy Friday instead of Freaky Friday. It's Tracy Friday. This is too good not to happen. Now, Frank, here's what I do with John Mack. Here's a guy does John Matt. Still doing that. But I can't get my regular voice back. I still got it, but I can't talk like me. I wish I could do an impression of my own Frank voice, but it's gone. For some reason, I'm unimpersonatable. I watch old tapes for myself. Michelle. I can't get him back. I'm trying. I listen to myself on my memo recorder. I have to find the real Tracy Morgan again. I get kicked in the head a second time, but the guy is elusive. This is. This writes itself. I think it's. It's very Charlie Kaufman. Yeah. It could be like. Yeah, this is a thing. If Dre and Tracy Morgan would do this. Oh, yeah. I would do that with right now. I'll kick Frank Alejandro square in the head for a movie check. I'm gonna put you back in you. I got to get back in you. And there's only one way to do it. I gotta get you pregnant with yourself. You have to get pregnant through Tracy Morgan to get your voice back. It's like Inception, but it's a little bit different. It's sort of the same, but it's different. And I keep coming out the same and different. Here's. You could tell if it's real. Is the top spinning. If the top's spinning, you can't talk like yourself anymore. Just gotta get that top to stop spinning. And the only way to do it is for me to kick you in there. But now I'm a pacifist. I don't kick people like I used to. I'm a non kicker. I'm a non kicker. Oh, it'd be better. This is just taking a turn. He kicks you in the head and then take that, Frank Caliendo. And he kicks you with score. Take that. And then he walks into the road and gets hit by a car and loses the use of his legs. Now I can't kick ever again. It looks like you stuck like this. I can't retransfer you back. It looks like we've run into a problem. Unless One of them Brady spawn shows up. Then he and Frank have to get in the car and go 85 miles per hour to go back and talk. No, now we're getting silly. It's a good idea. I'm not gonna lie to you. I'd watch that, but it's too much. I built a DeLorean to get your voice back. Frank. We got to hurry back. To the Frank future. Please start writing these things down. Frank. To the future. Frank. To the future. Frank in time. Gotta get Frank in time. Stop singing. That's the power of Frank. This is a good idea. People would. People would. They'll be clamoring for this. If Happy Gilmore 2 did what it did. This has legs. You're just on stage doing your stand up. That's funny already. Pre written, right? First 10 minutes of the movie are done. Go home, introduce the family. Hi, Michelle, I'm Frank. How are you doing? Hey, there's my dog, Rocco. Everything's great, Biff. Mad Joey. How's school today? It was great to you have. I'll be outside for a second and you lean over to pick up a paper. Hi, Frank. What year Joey was that? I don't know what year this is. The Joey I get. Yeah, that's good. Joey's Belichick now. All right, we got to do the Guadalupe Squares and get out of here. The last one for Brady. A very special Brady based Guadalupe Squares is coming your way with our own Frank Caliendo tonight at desert Ridge Improv. Desertridgeimprov.com Also tomorrow we'll do the squares next. We need a girl. We need a boy. What do we have for the squares tickets? Breaking Benjamin and Three Days Grace tickets. Nice. We got good tickets for you as well. If you want to play, call us up. 5859-800. We'll do the squares next. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this for you. P.D. hornberg's morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just rude. Bank Toledo's up there nagging me about time in Montana. So we're gonna drive him bananas. Now don't, don't. Because he's texting me about it. He's texting me too. Oh, it's gonna make him nuts. We got some time left. Ready, Frank? Yeah. Take your time. Time, time. Take your time. It's gonna make him nuts. It is time for your Guadalupe. We have to get you back in time Fr. This is the best idea this show's had in ages. Since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with that guy Charlie. I wonder how they came up with that. Remember, it was Christopher Walken and Charlie and they redid the Chocolate Factory. I was watching bated breath. I loved it. Anyway, I'm excited about it. I was hanging a clock in my bathroom and I hit my head on the toilet. And that's when I came up with this. The Frank capacity. It's what makes time travel possible. It's like Brady. You just stuff garbage in and things happen. It'll eat it. Trust me. Just jam it in there. Mr. Fusion, it's time for Thriller. How are you? I'm doing all right. About yourself, Tony, Think the idea Tracy Morgan kicking Frank in the head and transferring his voice into Frank's body so normal Frank can only sound like Tracy Morgan is a great movie. It's a good idea, but I don't know how you shop it. What are you, an executive? How are you shop it? Gets the Lee Harvey Oswald haircut. He comes in here and starts telling you have the. I want to kill the president. I still see shopping. I get a regular haircut and you think I'm gonna hurt somebody. You have the haircut of a guy who's on the news who just did something horrible. That guy needs to get away from the shed. Get off of the shed. Glory. All right, let's get right to it. It's time for your Guadalupe squares. Here's your host, Mr. Thriller Waltz. Thank you, Chancellor. Let's begin. The top right square, we have J. Biden Brogan. Yeah. All the squares are kind of brady today. Yeah. How are you feeling? I was born in Scranton, Pennsylvania. I was a senator in Delaware. I was 46. President. It's Biden's secret square. Oh. Oh, no, no, no. Hey, dad. That you mother? I'll tell you how the squares work around here. Rice, you want some coke? Yeah, I like some coke. You know who else I don't like? That Obama. Oh. I'm Hunter Biden, and I got a bone to pick. We need him. We need him, Hunter. Cause he'll take you out. Yeah, makes sense. Makes sense. Shoot your knees. Go ahead. It won't make much difference. All right. Now I'm at the University of Delaware. Oh, my God. You can go, right? Of course. Shoot him in the knees. He's fine with it. He wants to blow one off. Blow off one of his legs. Put him out of his misery. Looks like Carl off just like they should have cut. Would you rather have Brady's kidneys or Corey's legs? What you should do is transplant Cory's legs in Brady's belly. Oh, give him a taste. One way to do that, Brady. No, I have a taste for ice cream. Vanilla ice cream. You scream, we all scream. Okay, now over to the top of the square we have John Madden. Bogan. Hey, folks, John Mann here. You getting ready for the season, John? Man, Bogan. I just had a little bit of a rustle in my throat. Yeah, I had my last square. So here's a guy who likes to do little John Madden with John Madden. Maybe that's ash. I should have done it. I'm finding it a different. You also do Madden Summer. All I do Madden drunker. All that. Maybe you just do college ball, huh? Hey, folks, John Madden here. There it is. There it is. I had to work my way into it. That's right, John. Ace is the place. Ducksie on the beds at least. Makes sense now why you're into turducking. If the quarterback, if he throws the ball on the receiver, if he catches it in the end zone. What's that called, Pat? That's a touchdown, John. Thanks, Pat. We can't reverse roll, Pat Boganol. Oh, man, Sorry. Over now is the top right square. President Trump. I gotta be honest, I don't like how this is going. I don't like. I don't know that. I'm not going to participate in that. I'm not going to. I didn't like the Biden square. I didn't like Biden Brady. Biden. You didn't like that? Didn't like it. I didn't like it either. I didn't like it. I want to build a wall between the squares. I love to paint it black like the Rolling Stones. I build a wall and I want to paint it black and I'm going to. Too hot for Mexicans to touch. They don't like it black. And then we will aim the sun at it. We were going to aim. We're planning on aiming the sun through a. They're a giant magnifying glass. Magnifying glass. I was looking for that word. And you know what it is? I was gonna say looking glass, but looking glass, that's where it's almost the same thing. That's where Brady's going. After the surgery we're about to have, Brady's gonna cross the rainbow bridge with all the other pets. The Brady header. That's right. And we're gonna miss you, Brady. We're gonna miss you a lot. But I'm good at replacing people. People come and they go, look at. Look at Elon. Elon was here. He was a good guy. He's a bad guy. He's a gun guy. And now we can get rid of you. We can get. I just talked to Trip Re. He might. He might fill in for a little while while Brady's down and out. Trip Re's secret square. There's no secret. Over now to the middle left square. Brady Rome joining us. A great square. I think he's a great square. Incredible. Phenomenal. Volumes got right into it. That's right. And you know what I like to do? What's that? Grab a vine. Hang on. Have a take, Doc. Grab a red Vine. That's right. I like to grab a vine and swing right into the Rainforest Cafe. That's where I like to go. That is a great square. That's a great square. The Rhombogan. Incredible, incredible square. Funny. You know what isn't for phenomenal? My kidneys. They are not in good shape. They're not on fire. They are awful. They are not on fire. Dear Jim, we got a fax. Dear Jim, I'm not feeling well today. I was hoping I could be removed soon. Signed, Brady's Kidney. You are starting to sound a little like Shaggy and I like it. Zoink's like, hey, Scooby Doo, like, what happened to his kidney? That's like, that's not the doctor. That's Old man Carruthers over. Now, don't eat that scoop. That's a kidney. Royce. Middle square here we have Black Lady Brady here by request. How you doing? Oh, I'm fine. Thank you for asking me this Thriller. I like you. Oh, thank you. You remind me of Forrest Gump before it got better. That's funny. Had them braces on, running around, getting your college degree and being all big shoddy. Then going over there and trying to save my. And my boy was Bubba. And Bubba was your bestest good friend, if I recall. That's right. I'm gonna just call you Fozz from now on. Cause that's who you remind me of. Cause all you white boys with a limp remind me of Fozz Gump. That's how I see it. Anyway, how you doing, Frank? I understand you got a show this weekend. Very excited about you getting kicked in the head by Tracy Morgan. I think that's gonna be fantastic. You should get Tyler Perry to help with that. You think Tyler Perry should help you a little bit with your career? Yes. He a billionaire. Thank you. That's right. He'll understand something. Black lady Brady got all sorts of ideas. I've talked so much, I've gone pop. I need some limonade. You know, give me a good cup of lemonade. Not gonna have no limonade no more. You know why? Why's that? Cause it's phosphate. Oh. Bad for my kidney. And I only got one kidney. And I got the sugars on the way as well. There's no question about that. Guess what? I'm gonna be doing dialysis. And that sugar shot that I got to take every morning to make sure that I don't pass out, Start sweating, I get them vapors, I start sweating. That sweat sugar, lick me like a lollipop. Oh, look at middle white. You seem uncomfortable with black lady Brady. You race ones. I do seem a little bit off. You all right with black lady Brittany, cuz she all right with you. You exactly the type of man I'm looking for. Little meat on his bones, but not too much. Look at your little handle. You know what I'm saying? I grab hold of your hips. You are uncomfortable. And that makes me comfortable. Just makes me like it. Holmberg's morning sickness. Okay, you don't wanna come over and meet my husband, scummy Dick Duggas. He's into cookery. He's into cookery. And you famous. I wanna have sex with all your voices. What? You say, come on over to the house there to Frank and just pretend to be a hundred people and I'll break some sort of porn record. It'll be Black lady, British 500, only with just Frank. He'll do your Biden, he'd do your Trump, he'd do your Bush. Do them all while you're giving me the good. And shoot, while you're down there, do your Tracy Morgan middle right square. Whoa, he's good. That's a great. That's a great segue. That's crazy. Do you wanna hop in on this or. I want you to put a kidney in me. I can put something inside you, Brady. You want an organ in you? I'll do it. Tracy Morgan organ coming your way. Tracy Morgan, big M. Little organ. That's what he needs right now. We gonna stuff that inside you. You gonna be just fine. This dialysis gonna be diabolical. Unfortunately, your kidney's gonna swell up in nine months and make a baby. I don't know what you're gonna do with it, but If I give you my kidneys, it's gonna be pregnant. I like to think of your kidneys having a baby. That's what that tumor is. That's what the tumor is. Just little Brady coming out. I'm gonna name it, I'm gonna nurture it, and then I'm gonna get it pregnant too. Okay, over now to Brady's secret square. Give us a hint. Yeah. Hi, everybody. I'm 84 years old. I was. Was the head coach of New York Giants, New York Jets, New England Patriots and the Dallas Cowboys. My nickname's a Big Tuna guy who actually doesn't impress me. I've been there. Okay. Okay. That sounds pretty good. Okay. That is one of the most. I understand exactly so good. What we were talking about. All right, now over to the bottom of the square. John Gruden Bogan. I tell you what, man. It's a pretty good. I'm opening up boxes. Let's inside this box here, man. Man. A kidney. Man. Can you believe I found this? It's unbelievable. Given to us by the great people of St. Marac. So small call. What? I don't know, man. I'm just worried about getting through this, man. He. I made him nervous so much he went to a fake church. He brought a fake church to us. Qu? You trying to get retribution or something like. I'll tell you what, man. I just thought all the different churches that would not want to be named and I lost my brain. Say Merrimack. I don't know what that is. Is that what Merman are mad? You get them mermaids in the same mermax. Ooh, that sounds good. Merman. I like a merman. Put Whiskey Cory up in some sort of suit, make him a merman. Makes sense. That's why I walk that way. Can you swim decently? Decently. I don't know what that means. I couldn't read it. Afraid of hearing the notes to John Gutenberg and I'll kill time. I couldn't read it. I'll tell you what, man. Spider do way banana. Banana split Spider 2Y banana kidney bean. Spider. Spider 2Y kid. Oh. I'll tell you what. This play, this play, this play right here, man. This play is over in a couple of seconds. Just like my post action in the surgery world, man. It's in and out surgery. You ain't got to worry about that. I'm going to talk to you like this the whole time. Your eyes change. I do. I love it, man. You do? Yeah, man. Oo. I love it too. Nice job. All Right, Thanks. Over to our bottom right square Lord and savior Trip Reed. How you doing, sir? Yeah, I'm doing very well. Wonderful. I can do a Brady impression. Really good one. I'll be here all weekend. Well, not really, but you will, and that's all right. Thanks for coming in, Frank. Yeah. What are you doing starting next week? There may be an opening. Yeah, there's gonna be one in Brady's tummy for sure. Do you want to go live there? You want to get inside Brady and explore like Martin Short in inner space? Inner. Ooh, I'm flying inside Brady in my spacecraft. You know, Kevin from. Kevin and Bean did that? Yeah, Kevin and Bean shrunk himself, and he went inside the engineer, so to speak, and he floated around in there and he repaired the eng engineer's kidney with just wit. That's how good Kevin and Bean were. With a bold character. Yeah, with bold character on a TV screen, like the old talk show Tattletales, just in a little screen. And his head was shot inside Brady, and he fixed his disease. That's straightforward. Bean would do it. We've got Paula. The Toledo hater is on the line. How appropriate. On the. On the day after, he loses his mother. And Paula comes in and rudely calls him as part of it. And David is there Paula or you there? I am here. Yes. David, are you there? I'm here. All right. Paula, you're a girl. There's no Toledo. Go right ahead. Your first? Yes. Today's a great day. I don't care what he feels like. She hates Toledo. Why? Just hates him. Why do you hate him so much? Because he thinks that he's an impressionist like you. That's what started everything. So does Frank. Terrible? Yeah, exactly. Frank. Well, Frank is half. Sort of made a career out of it. Yeah. So you just don't like him that he does impressions? You want him to stop doing impressions? Well, that and he's just. He's a freaking wimp. All right, thank you, Paul, for being so open about it. David, anything you want to say about Toledo while he's mourning the loss of his mother up in Montana? No, he's fine. He's fine. You took the high road there. All right, Paula, pick a square. My mom survived breast cancer, so I don't want to say anything about nobody's mama. Exactly. That's classy right there. Unlike Paula, who's gonna mention that her daughter had cancer. All right, go ahead. Right, right. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Pick a square. I have to pick my. My favorite Brady, which is in the middle Black lady Brady. That's exactly right. She's a star, Frankie. She a star. Big Boy fc. I'm a call USC punches when you see him talk like that. Yeah, he gets nervous. He don't like this. This go off the rail. Frank don't like being in my neighborhood. You know, saying he come by my neighborhood. Oh, yeah. I got to get out this neighborhood. It's great. That's all right. You like rap music, Frank Calando? Yeah. Oh, you know you spell Caliento. You know how you spell it? How's that C alien do? Oh, am I wrong? No, that's exactly what it is, Frank. You like fun, huh? Yeah. Cuz it's hot out and I'm melting. If you and come on, get some food. Come on my porch anytime. You can come on my back porch. Oh, you can come on my front porch, cuz you're cool. Big boy. You pick a porch, you can come on it. I'll be out there. I just listen for the voice and you come up and go help Dr. Morgan and all that nonsense. I'll be fancier. My back porch let you come on my back porch. All right, go ahead. I question for you. Here's love coming on my porch. Nah, that's all right. I heard you. Sounds can disrupt your sleep, but scent cannot, which is why you don't awaken to the smell of fire or smoke. You don't awaken to fire smoke. My house on fire. I wake up. I ain't stupid. You white people is crazy. The house on fire ain't gonna sleep through it because you didn't smell. Smell it, dumbass. Frank, you ever been in a house fire? Yep. My house on fire down south. Looking at you, I'll tell you that right now. You a short drink of water, but I only need a little bit. I wake up to rotten eggs. Cause scummy Dick Douglas got a bad diet. Whole room stinks. You heard me. Paula Proc. Dad sees scummy Dick Douglas in the middle of the night with a boop. And next thing you know, I'm like, God damn it. The household fire. But it ain't just a carbon monoxide leak. We got it. All our alarms are taking off. You seen the Internet? No black people ever have any smoke alarms because they beep all the time. I ain't get up on no ladder changing that. It's good until it beeps and then it's just broken. All right. Don't you stab me like that, big fella. I tell you, you like a cup of Vanilla ice cream. Oh, that's true. We got to hurry up. True. Okay, you're true. Now, Apollo, do you agree or disagree with true? White people can't smell smoke. Oh, I disagree that it's true. Incorrect. Then sue gets the square. Okay, Racist. Don't believe with a black woman just because I said it was true. Now do you wish Toledo was here? That's right. Toledo is cheering. He's rejoiced. You brought him great joy on a day that had a lot of sorrow. Okay, now over to David. Make your choice. I can do it. I'll go. Brady Biden. Okay. Brady Biden. Yeah. The 46th president of the United States. I'm just a guy. Sounds like Brady. Doing sad things. Well, I'm being kind of sad. This is what I'm gonna sound like on Tuesday with all the medicine. Yeah. Come on. Can't eat ice cream after kidney surgery. You can have ice cream. You can have Frost Face. Hunter will have some medicine. Hunter, have some stuff. Make me feel good. Do you need painkillers who eat at talking about Getty Figures. Can't have any medicine. Hunter's a good kid. Take. Don't take your word. Take his name. No. Come on. Doesn't belong here. He's damn serious right now, you know, because he cursed. Okay, I got a question for you here, folks. Crows, Toledo can recognize individual human faces. True. And will hold a grudge against them if they don't like them. True. You're saying true. Are you sure you're saying true? True. I said true. Give you a side eye. I know that guy. So you're saying true. David, do you agree or disagree? I agree. Correct. Circle gets a square. Oh, boy. David's one away. All right, you can go for the blog here. If you go. No, it's the. Oh, yeah. Paula gets the block here. Paula gets blog with the trip. Yes, I will take trip. Is it trip or Gruden? Trip. Trip. Oh, you're right. All right. Sorry. I put the circle in the wrong spot. Yeah, sorry. I wasn't looking. I'm drawing. Drawn these circles and I make a little lump on top. And it's shaped like a kidney. I feel bad doing it, but yeah. Two kidneys and an X. That's what I have on my. It's not even close to right. Yeah. Want me to do my impression of Brady again? Oh, yes. Okay. Goodbye, cruel world. He's not gonna make it. He looks terrible anyway. Go ahead. Question for you here. A beard provides protection from the sun. Equivalent to 21 SPF beer. A beard. Sorry. Oh, a beard is the same as SPF 21. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. You would cover it up with hair. Because my head doesn't burn with all my huge white hair. Okay, okay. Yeah. I look like. You know what? You know. Hey, Paulie, you know what that means? You can go outside and never sunburn your pain. True. That would be true. Yeah. Because you're an old schooler. You've got hair pie. Yeah. Let's wander around nude. All right. So he's saying, well, I have one spot I won't have to worry about. That's exactly right. Can't get cancer there. Delicious. So he's saying true and Apollo for the block. Do you agree or discuss? Agree. I will agree. Correct. You got the block. All right, next one wins. Next one wins. Back to David. I'll go with Brady. Secret square. Secret Square win there. A 46. President. No, no, that's a different one. Sorry, you're done. True. Brady, you got a guess for the secret square? David, Bill Parcels is correct. Ups. Bill parcel. There you go. Well done. All right, David's the winner. Time. I'll just look at. Oh, Toledo. Just text something for Paula. I'm sure it says so have I eat all the dicks, Paula. He's pretty happy. All right, there you go. That's it for us. We're done. Thank you, Paula and David. Hang on. We'll get you something nice. Close this thing out. Get out here on time. On time. Wow. Well, it's only 53. We're actually kind of early. No, no, no, no. Thanks to Black Lady Brady. No, she was a little long winded. What do you mean, no thanks? Black Lady Brady. Frank will be doing that this weekend. I demand reparations for whatever he just said. You don't like this character, do you? Cuz I love. I thought it was very funny. But why did I bring it back right now? I don't know. Don't lie. I know your heart wants. That's exactly right. Thriller. Cuz he can't get me out of his head. His big round Bubba's head. I like to see that big round bubba's head bounce around between my thighs. I hope you get some crazy notion this weekend. Come over to my house, try to lick my kidneys from the inside. You find a way. There's a tunnel. Scared of it. You can see it. This used to be the entire podcast we used to do. Make him uncomfortable and he'd run with it. Frank's at Desert Ridge Improv this weekend. Desert ridge improv.com. You can grab those. You've got nothing to do, Brady. Phoenix rising. This could be it. We're off next week. Brady is having his kidney surgery on Tuesday. Let's hear it for Brady. In and out. Great knowing you, Frank. Would you like to say anything? Yeah, I could probably come in, like, a couple days a week. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't say that. No, man, that was too soon. We were supposed to have that conversation privately. Oh, yeah, just. Well, then, luck, buddy. Yeah, I. I'm. I'm sure that. Yep. With your genetics, it'll go well. Yeah. With the way you've treated your body so far, this recovery should be a breeze. Amen. Amen. I think. Amen. Amen. That's how we leave it. I think that's perfect. Thank. Oh, he. No. Amen. He. Man. We're done. Have yourselves a great week, Brady. We love you. Be good and stay careful and whatever it is you say to people who are about to die, we'll kick its ass. Brady will be back when we're back. That's a promise. All right, it's 98. We'll see you guys whenever we're back. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this in the time it takes you to actually board a flight from Group 8. Now boarding Premier Altitude Elite Club members. You could have bought a Hyundai on Amazon. Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4603 for more details. Limited availability pick up through participating Hyundai dealer and select markets.