08-25-25 - Holmberg's Morning Sickness - THE FULL SHOW - Monday

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness - The Full Show - August 25, 2025

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness
Host(s): John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Date: August 25, 2025
Station: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio (Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show)

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Episode Overview

This lively Monday episode delivers what Holmberg's Morning Sickness fans love: irreverent banter, offbeat takes on news and pop culture, mockery of local commercials, and hilariously unfiltered conversations about everything from genies, to deadly tourist habits at the Grand Canyon, to the latest bizarre news headlines. True to form, Holmberg and the gang—Brady, Bret, and Toledo—mix nostalgia, social commentary, radio-style games, and rapid-fire wit, making the episode both chaotic and insightful for listeners.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. The Genie Commercial Rant (02:00–13:00)

• Topic: Holmberg tears into a recurring local commercial involving a woman (Tasha) who has a genie, but never uses him for anything substantial.
• Panel Spitball: The gang fantasizes about what they would actually wish for if they had a real genie.
• Holmberg: "If I had a genie right now, I'd be sitting here with you idiots? I gotta go to work. Genie, leave me alone. What do you need? I don't know, tank of gas. I'm an idiot. I've got a genie." (04:00)
• Banter Highlights:
  • Why does anyone with a genie keep working a normal job?
  • TV references (I Dream of Jeannie, Larry Hagman).
  • What would be the ultimate wishes (money, happiness, an 'adaptable wiener').
• Memorable Quote:
  • "If I had a genie, it would be all about me. Fifteen bill. Eight and a half inch wang." – Holmberg (12:00)

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2. Grand Canyon Falls, Rescue, and Darwin Awards (19:00–40:00)

• Topic: How many people fall into the Grand Canyon each year? Are rescues worth the risk?
• Stats: 10–15 deaths per year at the Grand Canyon, mostly from carelessness.
• Holmberg: Advocates natural selection: "If you’re too dumb not to see the hole, you belong in the bottom of it." (20:00)
• Anecdotes:
  • Holmberg recalls watching a woman perilously posing for photos at the canyon’s edge.
  • Recurring theme: people putting rescuers at risk with reckless behavior.
• Cultural Commentary:
  • Modern indifference to natural wonders: “The Grand Canyon’s obsolete now. Samsung made it possible.” – Holmberg (38:19)
  • Traveling replaced by 4K TV screensavers and virtual reality.
• Games: The crew jokes about “Race Clue” – guessing the ethnicity based on bizarre family brawls from police blotters. (74:22)
• Quote: “We’re too dumb to have nice things. The canyon is too nice and we wreck it.” (31:00)

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3. Strange News Stories & Headlines (46:00–83:30)

• Body Found Behind Grocery Store Fridge (46:46–55:54)
  • Dissection of a story where a missing man was found years later behind a store freezer.
  • Discussion on gross things found under fridges.
  • “Cheerios just appear. That’s where Cheerios come from — under your fridge. They’re self-manufactured.” – Holmberg (52:00)
• Nicolas Cage Cast as John Madden (55:51–63:34)
  • Holmberg: “Frank Caliendo should sue his agent. This is his job!”
  • Jokes about Cage, Hugh Jackman, and Madden impersonations.
• Happy Meals Rebranded for Mental Health Month (UK) (93:48–114:00)
  • McDonald’s in the UK drops “Happy” from Happy Meals during Mental Health Month.
  • Holmberg rails: “If you can’t get happy from a free little box of food, nothing’s gonna change you. You’re a miserable pile of garbage.” (96:42)
  • Absurdity escalates: “Would you like a sad meal? Roaches. Oh, Jesus.” (102:18)
• Miscellaneous Bizarre News:
  • Man arrested in Thailand for stealing underwear—to “help him masturbate.” (79:25)
  • Condom mix-up at an Australian university—students given probe covers instead. (83:34)
  • Family brawls involving bug spray and burnt chicken. (71:28)
  • Company plans to reintroduce lab-grown woolly mammoths to the wild by 2027.

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4. Advice, Q&A, and Relationship Debates (119:19–133:00)

• Etiquette When Staying With Friends:
  • How much is too much consumption? “If you offer to take me to a ballgame, I'm buying beers ... a good guest should know when to pay.”
• Expectations vs. Stereotypes in Dating:
  • A woman's disappointment when her black boyfriend didn’t meet her… “expectations.” Holmberg: “Yes, you’re a bigot for that. But you’re just a jerk otherwise.”
• Breast/Tummy Surgery Debate:
  • Should spouses pay tens of thousands for “makeover” surgeries?
  • “Don’t pay for their upgrades unless you get full-on removal rights or full access 24/7!” (129:31)

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5. Classic Segments and Radio Games

• Brady Report:

  • Jacksonville is Florida’s largest city.
  • America's #6 export is… blood.
  • Food documentary "Food Inc." recommended.
  • High School movies and F-Bomb-counting trivia.

• Riffing on McDonaldland Characters:

  • Fond recollections of glassware, Grimace, Mayor McCheese, Birdie the Early Bird.
  • "Drinking out a Yosemite Sam around the dinner table, there's a little bit of… We had a lot of…"

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Grand Canyon rescue realities:
  “If you fall in the Grand Canyon, there needs to be signs everywhere: Sorry about that. For your family and all, enter at your own risk… If you leave the trail and start to dabble with the corner of the big hole and go in, we're gonna leave you there.”
  — Holmberg (21:00)

• On genie wish priorities:
  "First, I'd wish for probably $15 billion… Tax free. Then of course, the eight and a half incher, I'm tacking that on and I'm pretty much set from there. I've got that… I don't need a third wish."
  — Holmberg (11:39)

• On 4K TVs and seeing the world:
  "75 inch Samsung on the wall with 4K. I'm good. I agree with that to a certain extent because I don't. I want to see the pyramids someday, but I don't want to go over there. Right. So the 4K helps.”
  — Holmberg (37:08)

• On McDonald's and the Happy Meal furor:
  “If you can’t get happy from a free meal from your parents that’s got a little toy—a sad meal would be vegan, I agree with that. That’s how you make me really embrace my mental status.”
  — Holmberg (105:05)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Commercial Genie Riff: 02:00–13:00
• Grand Canyon Darwinism: 19:00–40:00
• Race Clue Family Brawl Game: 74:22–74:44
• Body Behind Store Freezer: 46:46–55:54
• Nicholas Cage as John Madden: 55:51–63:34
• Happy Meal & Mental Health: 93:48–114:00
• Advice/Q&A: 119:19–133:16
• High School Movie Rankings/F-Bomb Trivia: 141:03–143:04
• Entertainment News & Lemmy’s Ashes: 143:15–145:14

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Tone, Humor & Closing Thoughts

Holmberg’s quick wit, dry delivery, and brutal Arizona sensibility drives the show. Brady and Bret volley with him, keeping up with absurdities and playing the comedic “straight man”—especially in radio games and speculative “what-if” tangents. The tone ranges from slapstick to social satire, and nothing—from local advertisements to beloved institutions like McDonald's—is safe from evisceration.

This episode is a perfect snapshot of “Holmberg’s Morning Sickness”: uproarious, biting, and joyously inappropriate radio that never fails to find comedy in the mundane and the scandalous alike.

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Recommended For:
Fans of improv radio, anti-PC humor, pop culture commentary, and anyone wanting a distinctly Arizona-flavored morning show with zero filter.

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Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Brady]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new Realtor all the time. I do know this though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd have just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for Your house, cash. As is. You don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or sing. Call Doug Hopkins, 1-800-tail- now. Do not listen to this while driving or when full alertness is needed. The rest of H's morning sickness. This is the Big Red Radio. Here's another thing. If you had a genie, why are you still answering the phone? Selling doors? Just. What's going on? Genie and Tasha have been driving me nuts for so long, and I. I erupted on it yesterday, and I just. I'm trying to follow the storyline. Don't get me wrong. I want more and more and more of it. But the genie never gets hurt. He never answers anything. He doesn't have to do anything. She's got access to a genie. Why is she still working? I don't get it. Kasha, what do you need? Hold on. I'm on the phone with a customer. You know, I can change all that. Hang on. Your wish is my command. I could have done this for you. Do you want your own island and kingdom? Hang on. I'm on the phone with another customer. You're very busy. It's a good business.

[Brady]

Genie got the Heisman.

[John Holmberg]

Think. If I had a genie right now I'd be sitting here with you idiots. I gotta go to work. Genie. Leave me alone. What do you need? I don't know. Tank of gas. I'm an idiot. I've got a genie. You take the genie and you stop answering the phones. At least get a secretary. Genie, can I get somebody to handle the phones for me? I want to do less. Sure, Tasha. He's a worker bee. You've made my life a little bit easier. Genie. If only I could think of something to ask you. I'll write something down. Read it. Never ending riches. Why would I do that? It seems reasonable. It's what everybody else asks for. But do you mean to tell me I've been sitting in this lamp for a thousand years and you're not gonna use me at all to get out of working? Just advice on how to treat customers, I suppose. I mean, I understand the concept, but, you know, you never put your hand over the phone. Hey, Genie, what would you do in this situation? Well, my wish is my command. But I can do anything. You realize that? You understand how genie's work, right?

[Brady]

Your wish?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah, right. I can help you with this. Gotta keep the doors open. Why? You have a genie. Brett's walking around with a genie. Yeah. Got some new Socks. And, you know, thinking about asking Genie to ask Trip for a raise. What are you doing? Brett doesn't understand the concept. He's not shooting for the stars here. Larry Hagman was the same way, though. Oh, he had a hot genie. I dream a genie is so frustrating because he. What are you doing? And she didn't have like three wishes. It was never ending. Whatever you want. And it took him six seasons to marry her. He had that. And if you go act, go back and watch the first few seasons of I Dream of Gene. First year they have her in a bad costume. Then somebody said, you know what? Let's push the limits of television. They put her in. That woman is gorgeous. Barbara Eden knocks your socks off to this day. Normally you look back at ladies from their sick in the 60s and you're like, ew. What were they thinking? Barbara Eden shows up today as Jeannie. She's. She is an Instagram superstar. So hot. And then Tripp had to rub it in my face when I was telling my crush on Barbara Eaton years ago. You know, I'm friends with Babs. What? We're in a labradoodle group together in the Pacific Palace. You know, she comes by with her doodle, plays with my doodle. Like Barbara Eden.

[Brady]

Huh?

[John Holmberg]

And she's like 80 now. Yeah, she still looks great. But you're right. Larry Hagman and I dream of genie. Oh, yeah. What an idiot. Still doing NASA stuff like why dumbest people ever on the planet. What in the world and why we believed it. The only reason we watched that show is to see if there was a nipple showing or what. There's no.

[Brady]

They get in that bottle.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, look at that. That's 1960 something. Barbara Eaton. Yeah, that's a good picture. I think she had fake boobs. I think she's like the first one of the OGs. Yeah. Cause they're so round and hard looking. Barbara Eden as Genie in the early days was unreal. But a genie. And Larry Hagman went to work every day and hit her and didn't once get a TV BJ from the genie. Not once. If Larry wasn't going to do anything, Roger next door should have done something. I mean, you know, Roger tried. Yeah. Oh, he gave. He gave it his all. It was Roger Nelson was the Larry Hagman. Oh, okay. And then Bill Daly played his. His friend. Oh, man. Double damn it.

[Brady]

I always thought that was.

[John Holmberg]

No, Roger Nelson was the lead. That was. That was Larry Hagman's character. No. Oh, he was Tony. He was Tony Nelson. Roger Healy Okay, Tony Nelson was. That's right. And Roger Healey was. Bill Daly. Yeah.

[Brady]

And the old man.

[John Holmberg]

Bellows. Yeah. Alfred Bellows. Alfred Bellows. Ah, the doctor that was always thinking that he was psychiatrically challenged, so he had to chase him around and. Oh, God damn it. But you get a genie, you stop working. Pasha, I just want to supply the world with doors. You've got a genie. He can do it. Just keep the dream. Three wishes. Tasha, I'd like Morton's. I need new pots and pans. No, no. Genie won't do that. Shooting too low. Genie. It's my wish, guys.

[Brady]

I understand that the genie wants the three wishes and gets out of there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, thank you.

[Brady]

He's like, all right, pots and pans.

[John Holmberg]

Copper. What do you need? What do you want? Scratch resistant. You know, I hear that causes cancer. Just. I want those. All right. Ding. What's your other wish, Tasha? I really like blue paint, and I can't quite find the one. So if I imagine. Can you see it? You want me to paint your house? Really? What am I, a Mexican genie? All right, one left, one left. You have one wish. If it's not an abundance of riches, you're the first one to not do that. A thriving business.

[Brady]

Totally.

[John Holmberg]

Tasha. I'm the Mexican genie. Tasha, I would like a kick ass scrapbook. Kick ass script book on the way. Here you go, Tasha. My abuelita made that. Yeah. Come on, Asha. You got a genie. Do something with him. You're driving me nuts in these commercials. Not abusing the genie. He's sitting there begging. What do you need? I don't get it. I don't get it. It's all confusing to me.

[Brady]

Maybe that's how good business is. I don't need a genie.

[John Holmberg]

The genie couldn't even surpass her. Yeah, I don't buy it. Then again, then you'd be retired. Who wants to work that bad? Who wants to work that bad? I'll see if we can get that. Ask the genie. Never. Should I get anything? Wow, Travis makes a good point. And she also stinks. Because has anyone ever wished for the genie to have his freedom? Find happiness in life? Everybody's a selfish money grubber. Well, you get to mine first, and then. And then you wish freedom to the genie. Unless he's never ending. If it's three wishes, my third wish is the genie's wish. Because I'm taking care of everything in wish one and two. There's nothing I need. Three. The first one's covering everything else. He's Robin Williams. Genie, then you know, then. He's hilarious. Hang around. What do you need? Brett? You want to hang out? Let's do our wishes today. Brett. Oh, boy. All right, Genie, you and I, we're just going to hang out today. It's a wish free. We agree that this is all off the record. If I say I wish that chick was a. I didn't mean it. Oh, whatever, whatever. I just want that third wish to be the one that frees me. Brett, can I do anything for you? If it don't count as a wish. Oh, never mind. What do you need? Oh, I sure would like to be free. Wouldn't it be great? Brady would free him on the first wish. You're an idiot. I don't like watching somebody do this. I'm fine the way I am. What would your first wish be with the genie?

[Brady]

His freedom.

[John Holmberg]

What you'd free. Oh, Brandy's such a wonderful man. You get a gift card from your genie later. That's all I could do now, but I had to buy it. And then the genie's just a dude without a job hanging at your house with no skills at all. Why free him? I mean, I'd wish for. First, I'd wish for probably $15 billion. I'd start there. I don't want to go too crazy to be 15.

[Brady]

Tax free.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Tax free. Then of course, the eight and a half incher I'm tacking that on and I'm pretty much set from there. I've got that from that point forward, I can figure it out. You've said you've pushed my boat into the water. I don't need a third wish. Everlasting happiness. I've got that eight and a half inches and 15. Bill, I'm good. I can't. If I can't be happy with that, I'm trying to be sad.

[Brady]

The first thing you're going to do with that money is stroke a check to Red Lobster.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm bring. Maybe bring Red Lobster back. But now I'm the genie. I got $15 billion. I'm the genie. Come on, John. You know your first wish would be for a nose job. Now, 15 million, you can buy your own. It don't matter if I had an 8 1/2 inch Wang, no one would see how my nose would look. Little. I got this off the rack deal here. I want a little something special. Oh, really? You want me to give you a humongous pee pee? Get to work. Genie. You don't have to use your hands or Anything, do you? No, I just wish it. But that's weird. Is it? I bet I'm not the only 1. 15 billion 8 1/2 inch wang. You know, give the third wish to another to make a wish kit. You give it to Alec and. Yeah, so I'm not curing childhood cancer or anything because something else will pop up, make me feel worse.

[Brady]

Find a home for every dog.

[John Holmberg]

I can do that. 15 bill. I'll be on my way to being nice with that. Yeah, I would like that. Maybe a third wish would be like, no more dogs. But then I just kind of have to think, well, then I just see like a cat population problem. Like that one. Seems like the dominoes never end. If I had a genie, it would be all about me. Fifteen bill. Eight and a half inch wing. What's yours? Well, I'll go with the 15 billion. That's a good one. I gotta do that one too. Yeah, you don't want to go like a trillion. That's weird. Yeah. Probably go to Vegas back in the time travel. I want to go back to 60s. I want to go hang out with the Rat Pack in Vegas. Why not just be a member of the Rat Pack? Oh, man. Get incredible amount of talent and just be a member of the Rat Pack. Ah, done. That's great. And you got $15 billion in the 60s. In the 60s. Sinatra's kissing yours, right? I'm buying the Sands. Those are good wishes, Brett. Would you even use the third one at that point? You got. You got one I'll just keep in my pocket for, you know, you never know. But, you know, the genie's just gotta hang out and wait for you to get one. Hey, if he's Robin Williams, that's great. I'm in. That's true. Brady, go.

[Brady]

I like the 15 bills.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Take Tasha's genie and do something with it. She's not using it.

[Brady]

To be on a Super bowl championship football team.

[John Holmberg]

Really? You don't really get anything for that, but okay, like on the team at that moment. Prestige. You already got 15 million experience.

[Brady]

And then to be the goat of pickleball.

[John Holmberg]

The greatest pickleball player of all time. Wow. Really? No genie. Just third one genie just killed himself. And you can't wish back to Tasha. You can't wish for more wishes. That's always been. That's a good one. Somebody just said, you know what a loophole is? It's not the wish for all wishes thing, but give me a piece of paper or give me a notebook where each page I can Write a wish. And it's a never ending wish notebook, which is sort of like wishing for more wishes. I thought about this. Keep it a three. That's a good one. I like that. Yeah, yeah. This is Travis. Comes in, says the same thing. Limitless bank account that never goes dry, impervious to the irs. And a penis that I can change the size of it. Will. I kind of like his idea better. You can get. If you got a gaper that looks good, but you, you know, you can't fill it. You've got. It's basically like a mental pump that you can make your penis adaptable. I like that. That's actually better, Travis. That's good stuff. So 15 billion adaptable wiener. And then he says, third, the genie can get something for himself.

[Brady]

And the genie goes, I want your 15 billion.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that. Oh, she's. You've got. See, you've got problems. Ruined it. You ruined it. He wants 15 billion back for me. That's what his wish is. Well, I can say no because I have to wish it. You tell me what you want, genie. I have to wish it to you. And then it comes true. It's like, I want your 15 billion. I'm like, tell you what I'll do.

[Brady]

Can't happen.

[John Holmberg]

I know a guy who can get you 15 billion. It's you, you dumbass. Get your own 15 billion. I wish that genie had 15 billion. Not affiliated with my 15 billion in his hand.

[Brady]

Typical Jew.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not giving him my 50. Yeah. Oh, I'm getting some. Whereas, and therefore I will. Whereas and therefore the hell out of this genie. We're here to. For the genie's 15 bill. Not related to my 15. 15 billion. Yeah, I wouldn't want to for 15 billion. I just go. I, like, start kicking in and buy a football team, get him into the Super Bowl. That's. Man, he's not using them at all. Genie and doing anything. I did see something. Sean wishes for an 8 and a half inch wang. As soon as he makes that wish, Michael and Troy are gonna be knocking on his door. His back door. That is. Like, I'd still live next door to Michael and T.R. got a higher class of gays living across the street from me than those two. We heard you had a genie. All right, all right. You know what I did here? I'll be moving out pretty soon. Adaptable Wiener. Great band name. Adaptable Wiener is pretty solid. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Hey, Byron, I was [e-mail]'s website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.

[Brady]

Yes sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 doll thousand products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys and more. The best part is if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[Brady]

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to mmpguns.com all right, HMS podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Well, just in case you if you haven't been paying attention or if you've been mia, we'll let you know that Frank Caliendo is going to be performing at the Desert Ridge Improv this Friday and Saturday night. So tune in. Frank's going to be in with the guys all week long and just maybe we'll have tickets for you to go catch Frank live up north at Desert Ridge for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com.

[Brady]

And tempeimprov.com It's Brady from the HMS Crew for game Day Men's Health, the Valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations. You should do what I did and schedule a complimentary appointment which is quick and easy. You'll meet with a board certified medical director and figure out what treatments that can help you, whether you need more energy, medical, weight loss or sexual health treatments. Game Day Men's Health Clinic is a true game changer. Go to gameday phoenix.com and schedule your complimentary appointment today. Get back in the game with Game Day Men's Health.

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. There's more of the best of homework's morning sickness 98kupd and then yesterday I How many people? Quick quiz. How many people a year do you think fall in the Grand Canyon? What's the guess? I mean, how often do we hear about it?

[Brady]

Yeah, I'll say 10.

[John Holmberg]

You say 10. Say 2 because it doesn't. Yeah, you don't hear it. 10 to 15 is correct. We don't even Hear about it anymore. Another one fell in yesterday. A guy from Carolina. I heard that one. He dropped in, and you don't hear about it as much. So I'm reading about it, like, oh, that's terrible. But I got to hand it to the Grand Canyon. Not the actual nature version, but what we've done as far last time I was there, they haven't put fences up in a lot of that stuff. Like, nope. If you're too dumb not to see the hole, you belong in the bottom of it. And I also think that there's a certain aspect, because I watched some of the rescue of the guy who fell in yesterday, that we don't have to go get the guys that fall in. They stay. Because what they were putting those three rescue workers through to go get them is more dangerous than tripping and falling in. Like, there. I think of the 10 or 15 that fall in, nine of them are going after the three tourists that went in there. The professor. This thing is this cantilevered, angled pulley system. I mean, you're going to the canyon.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And you gotta go find.

[Brady]

You don't realize.

[John Holmberg]

And you find a dude who's not near a trailer. He's just kind of in this section of the Grand Canyon that's straight down. And these dudes just pop on, latch this thing into the side of it. It's mobile. And then they start trailing down there to go pick up a body, tug it back up. And I'm like, we either have to have a better system or just leave the body. If you fall in the Grand Canyon, there needs to be signs everywhere. Sorry about that. For your family and all, enter at your own risk. Risk. If you leave the trail and start to dabble with the corner of the big hole and go in, we're gonna leave you there. I think that's. I think you deserve to be in it. Don't dick around with the canyon. That's what I'm saying.

[Brady]

Yeah. I wonder what the number is as far as that. You're saying about 10 to 15 people.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And what classifies that? Like, if you fall 10ft into the.

[John Holmberg]

Grand Canyon, when does it officially count as a breach? Yeah.

[Brady]

And of the 10 or 15, is that. Is that dead? 10 to 15 dead or.

[John Holmberg]

That was the only ones. The only ones we actually. Like. If somebody fell in and then scrambled.

[Brady]

Out, the one that I. I think 10 or 15. Wonder what the. The burrow count is.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. 10 to 15 deaths a year.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. So, yeah. So if there are people you're Talking. You're falling in. I mean, you're not. Yeah, there's very falling. 10ft. You're bouncing on. Yeah, yeah. You're not hitting it.

[Brady]

But would that count?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I mean. I mean, how many of Eric Clapton's kids do we have a year that actually bounce off of an awning? And I mean, 10 to 15 deaths. And yes, that would count as falling in the canyon, but a different category. I just don't get it. It's. It's the biggest goddamn hole in the world. It's. How are you getting on the edge of this thing? Tell this story. Every time I. I think about the canyon because I didn't have a quality experience with the beautiful Grand Canyon because of this woman who was gorgeous. And she put her toes on the edge of the thing and squatted like Johnny Bench while some guy took pictures of her. The wind was blowing really hard, and, I mean, she was on the fence.

[Brady]

Butterflies.

[John Holmberg]

I laid down where I was because I couldn't. I was so afraid for her. I was. I was. From me to the window, like, what, seven feet to the window to her. And when I saw her toe up on the edge and that wind was whipping and at any time could have gusted and then squats down like Johnny Bench and turns her head. And a dude is, like, taking snapshots of her from a few feet away. She's modeling beautiful. And I got so uncomfortable for her that I laid down like, please get away. My friend Mike was with me. He's like, please don't do that. Please. It was. It was. You were juggling fire and knives. And it seemed so perilous that I was, like, unable to continue on. I was waiting to watch this woman fall in.

[Brady]

She didn't.

[John Holmberg]

So we followed her and her amazing ass and her photographer around the Grand Canyon. The second best view up there that day was the canyon. This chick was good. And another one that was doing some modeling, not as hot. So it was kind of funny to watch the supermodel and then the one who was like, beast over there. Yeah, it was 2016, so it was early days. Facebook, Instagram might have been around. We had some Twitter. These. She was trying to make some money on a hor side at the time. We didn't know about. The other one was actually, like, on TV and magazines and things like that. Gorgeous. 10 to 15 people though a year, which means 10 to 15 times these rescue guys get calls and, like, God damn it. They don't want to break out that big tripod. And drill it into the earth and then start risking their lives for it. A dead body, leave it there. Part of the lure. You keep saying, nature, nature, nature. Well, there it is. Pop them in the earth and have them, you know, rot away. And the animals of the Grand Canyon will have a new feature, a new little something new on the menu.

[Brady]

Today, tourists, they still have those burrows that deliver stuff down there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but that's a trail. If they fall off the trail, and those trails are dangerous. The one place that had the sick horses and, you know, because they're legitimate realists, that one tour group that got in trouble for a while because they were using sick horses, and the tourists started to say, this is wrong. These really starved horses. And then they drop dead on the trail and then get three or four of those. I guess the people who live down in the bottom that have been policing you for taking you.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They were pushing the horses off the trail right down into the hole and letting them just tumble down. It's like, well, he's dead. What are we gonna do? Pick a horse up. I feel the same way about the people. And again, the dude that fell in, it's tragedy. You know, it's a risk that he was taking, but he went off the trail a little bit, and he started dicking around with the hole. And you know what happens when you dick around with a big, strange hole?

[Brady]

The hole wins.

[John Holmberg]

It can kill you. It's gonna mess you up. It'll either give you something forever or it'll just flat kill you. And that's the thing that is.

[Brady]

It's a way smaller scale. It's the same guys that jump down camelback mountain on the way down. I'm bouldering.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Like to a bouncer. Yeah. But again, we can get to them. The rescue workers just walk up and pick the body.

[Brady]

I'm just saying, you're eventually going to lose.

[John Holmberg]

You're going to break an ankle. You'll be. But you're going to live. If you're. Most of the time, you're really not screwing around. Too bad. Camelback mountain kills you. You've done some serious work. I've done some dumb stuff on camelback Mountain. Just walked off with a. With a rolled ankle. Like, I'm a pretty stupid, stupid person. I've run down camelback once, and I'm like, that's the last time I'll ever do that. And the only reason why is because it gets slippery like the rocks. You know, you bounce.

[Brady]

Yeah. Sometimes you can't help you hit that.

[John Holmberg]

That soft dirt you're sliding. But it's. Yeah, it's a. This one says people fall in the Grand Canyon, John. Because people are inherently stupid. It's just that simple. I agree. And we got to stop saying we're going to rescue the stupid people. I'm all for just leaving people here like me even. And I'm one of the ones that takes the risk riding my bike in the heat on the trails by myself. Come get me when the weather's nice. You guys don't need to do anything about that. There's no reason to get firefighters. And the reason I know they hate this is because I that one time 15 years ago when I saw people flashing lights on top of Camelback for my front patio and I'm like, that's like distress signals. That was. I felt like Batman. I'm like, like, does anybody else see this pouring rain? Like just crushing monsoon and the lights are flashing at the very top and I'm like, nobody should be up there right now because it's. This is one of those big storms. And the reason I was on my patio was enjoying the summer monsoon because it was such a big one sideways. And So I called 911 and felt like a hero. And I bragged about it the next day on the show and got. Got emails and I even actually waited and heard the fire trucks go by, got in the car, followed them up to Echo Canyon the thing and watched them get out. And they put night these oh I want one night costumes on that have lights inside the helmet. And they had these big suits.

[Brady]

Like an alien.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, some of those. Yeah. It was exactly like they were illuminating so they could see around them and they were all big like giant lit up dudes, like alien guys. And they start hiking up. It looked like a big suit though. And they start hiking up and I'm bragging and then I get an email the next. When I'm bragging the next morning the guy goes, that was you, you piece of. Just let them stay up there. They'd have been fine. They had to go hike in that misery of a wet trail all the way to the top to rescue two Asian tourists and some bottle girls that told them that they, you know, you can. I didn't know that until then. My ex wife actually her and her best friend who's no longer with us this. And I wish it was the other way around. The they were hired for a little while by a company to be ambassadors. But then both of them started to look around and going awful lot of Hot ambassadors, don't you think? And most of the clientele were middle aged businessmen that were like, show me around. And they were just trying to. I'm like, you know, you were. You were an escort. No, no, we were city ambassadors. They would give us to like, spring training players. I'm like, yeah, that's. You were an escort. You were a escort. They were giving you to the spring training players. It only happened Sarah started to date one of the players for the brewers, and I dated his brother, who it was Jeff Jenkins. And that's the one that my ex wife gave the handy to because his penis was so big she wasn't willing to do it. And I'm like, well, that's exactly what a escort would have done. This jerk off. Her client, he expected more. The reason he whipped it out is because he thought, well, somebody paid for this. So that's what those Chinese men did that were standing up on top of the. The thing with their ambassadors.

[Brady]

Took them up there.

[John Holmberg]

They're like. And they were evidently in, like, suits. And the girls were like, we can get up there and see the whole city. Oh, very good. We have sex on mountain. I can't understand you. Follow me. And so they.

[Brady]

No problem.

[John Holmberg]

Those are fine to follow the hut girl all the way to. To of mountain traditions say when a man from China hot girl on top of mountain, he become a citizen. I don't know what. But they drug him up there. And then they said the fire guys were like. It was hilarious. Like, they were too. They were escorts. And they had drugged these Chinamen up there. And. And they just said, oh, here's rain. They didn't check the forecast, and it was pouring. But the firefighters told me they didn't even want to climb Camelback to rescue. Imagine the dudes up there at the north rim. All right, got a kid from North Carolina fell in. We have to go get him. You know, he's dead. What's the point?

[Brady]

They were passed out when they got off top of the Camelback Mountains. Dong, dong.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, hikey dong. I need food. Where's my automobile? Automobile? Mountain. Big mountain. So, yeah, I know the firefighters don't want to do the tougher jobs like that. That's miserable climbing in the Grand Canyon. But again, devil's advocate, you took a job as a firefighter in the Grand Canyon. So, you know, you're probably thinking to yourself, I got nothing to do here. This thing ain't lighting on fire. And what, maybe somebody rolls an ankle. I'll go tape that up. And then on the off chance that 10 to 15 times a year you gotta break out. I don't think there's 10 to 15 rescues on Camelback a year. 10 to 15 deaths. And I guess. You know what we need to close the canyon. It's not for us. It's.

[Brady]

They train more than there's actual.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, absolutely. They're running up and down the hills at night. They're too. We're too dumb to have a beautiful. We're too dumb to have nice things. The canyon is too nice and we wreck it and we abuse it. So another guy tumbles in. But I was kind of shocked. I figured, like, Brett, I was like, we hear about maybe two year. You'd think that people would have learned by now you're not going to make it. If you get too close and fall, it's pretty much the end of you. Then I started to wonder how many of them were suicide.

[Brady]

You know, probably won't throw that stat out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because they don't want to encourage that. Like, the Golden Gate Bridge is nothing but suicides to the point where they put a net out the side of it. Brooklyn Bridge, the Verrazano Bridge in New York. Those are. Well, Brett, The Verrazano Bridge, yes, they are suicides. I believe you, Brett. Let's not say. Usually, yeah, assisted suicide. There's a lot of Kovorki Khan, he's out there that are tossing. Oh, this guy tried to save his life. He thought he could fly. I wanted to see that. And it turns out, no, he's not a good flyer at all. So, yeah, Saturday night fever, I mean.

[Brady]

You know, got jumped.

[John Holmberg]

Look, he had some sort of chronic Lou Gerold's disease or something like that, so I helped him out. I. He didn't. You know, we don't have no machines, so Verrazano will do. But yeah, they're. They're leaping off. Those bridges are like. They just leaping off of bridges.

[Brady]

So we were taking selfies.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, yeah, you know, we were doing it for instant grams, you know, and you know, oops. Oops, he slipped a banana peel or something. You're welcome. Yeah. I'm surprised you don't see more guys in the striped suits up there at the canyon. Isn't this beautiful? Just whacking guys in the back. Quit hitting my back so hard. I'm awfully close to the edge. At a little close. So you can't. You can't appreciate the grandeur of the entire. Look at that. You should see it from the bottom. Okay, here you go.

[Brady]

Let's go get some dinner, doll.

[John Holmberg]

10 to 15 suicide or deaths. How many are suicidal? And vultures? Kelly Turley, you're right. Vultures gotta eat, too. Leave it there. There should be a sign that says fall in the canyon. We ain't coming for you unless we can hear you screaming. If you're screaming, then we're like, ah, he's alive. Let's go see. But even then, if you fall in the canyon and you're still alive, do you want to come out? Because you're gonna be. You're gonna. The whole time.

[Brady]

Another question you can ask. You want us to come down?

[John Holmberg]

You want us to come down? No. Can you feel your legs? No. All right. We're not coming down there because in a couple weeks, they will need the Grand Canyon. And I'll be back next year. And that's the last thing we want is that local news story. They'll make Troy Hayden now, because he's new at channel 12, roll up there and go, seven years ago, this person fell in the Grand Canyon. And now they're returning. Everybody's supposed to be all sad. Then he wheels up to the edge. They don't feel as bad this time as I didn't did last time. Oh, great. So he's drinking out of straws. He's eating steak through a tube. I just want to see Troy go up there. Why were you so effing dumb? Why are you standing by the edge? You do realize that this line right here is about it. What were you thinking? They just thought one more step and I could see the bottom of the canyon. And you did, dumbass. One more step. You saw the bottom of the canyon.

[Brady]

Troy would probably go all out. I'm getting in the barrel. I want you to see what it.

[John Holmberg]

Feels like inside the barrel that no one's ever rolled down the Grand Canyon. Next week on 12 News. I'm Troy Headen and we'll explore my desire to roll down the canyon. It's dumb, but yeah. That Grand Canyon. And it's no joke. It doesn't. It's not cushiony, but 10 to 15, and we don't talk about it. Somebody fall in now it's like another one fell in. So this kid that fell in yesterday, I guess he's special because by August, we should have at least eight in the. In the bag now, right? If 10 to 15 are going on average by August, probably have eight or seven or eight, you have to have another one. Haven't heard of one. His first one all year yet.

[Brady]

About two months left. It starts getting a little.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe around the holidays, people start leaping in. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The 12. Yeah.

[Brady]

Aren't you saying influencers. You got about two months left for some.

[John Holmberg]

For the pictures. Beautiful boy, those snow pictures, though, maybe it does ramp up around December. Well, yeah, because then you get all the idiots in from back. I don't think family.

[Brady]

I don't think you're allowed to.

[John Holmberg]

Well, when it's really bad. But you can get up there when it's snow. My uncle went up there, and it was absolutely stunning. It's beautiful after a snow, but that, you know. Well, it's. If it's bad, no, you're not going. That's the worst, too, when you get. People come in from out of town. Can we go to the Grand Canyon? Oh, Christ. You realize how far away that goddamn hole is? It's amazing how many people have lived here their whole lives who haven't been here. It hasn't. It hasn't. We're so spoiled.

[Brady]

I spent very little time up there. I mean, I've gone up there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Drove motorcycles up there one time and spent about an hour and a half.

[John Holmberg]

It's such a long. Yeah, it's like. It's like Chevy Chase and vacation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Once you're there, let's see. But. All right. So when I was there in 2016, I was mad because Megan actually said, I don't get it. I don't see the big deal. I mean, we're standing there, the sun sets, the whole place turns to this purple haze of I don't know what. I've got tears in my eyes. I'm like, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I don't know. I don't get it. I'm with Megan.

[Brady]

That's why. That's why.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that could. There. That could be the problem. What? I got a 4K TV at home. It has just as good a picture as me going out there with all the advancements in technology, with the 3D glasses and things like that. Brett's right. Because there's nothing worse than getting off the 40 and having to drive that last hour up that dumb street where the Flintstones live. And then you get there. It is pretty. We are so completely unimaginative and boring as a species now that the Grand Canyon's just like, meh. One of the seven natural wonders of the world again. And. And we've got that attitude. Oh, the hole. I still like flying over it coming back from Vegas and stuff. If we take that Little eastern bump.

[Brady]

Always look out the window.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's gorgeous and it's humongous. It hasn't changed. Yeah, but that's the beauty of the bread. That's what supposed to do like turn into rainbow. If I went there 10 years ago and go there today, it looks exactly the same. Maybe a couple more bodies down there. Who cares? But the point is, you've changed over the last 10 years. Maybe there's more to appreciate in the world and it makes you feel. No, no, I got a 4K TV. I don't need that. Yeah, that is true. I say that about traveling all the time. 75 inch Samsung on the wall with 4K. I'm good. I agree with that to a certain extent because I don't. I want to see the pyramids someday, but I don't want to go over there. Right. So the 4K helps. I watch the screensavers on when my Apple TV. Oh, my God, it's beautiful. Some of those rice fields in China. Real need to travel. Rice fields in China. I'm like, I'm not getting this by being there. This is awesome. I watch aerial America. You're right. The 4K TV has definitely cut back my desire to go anywhere. I'm not social with crowds or people. I got no desire. Grand Canyon's obsolete now. Samsung made it possible. That is a. That is a sentence I don't believe is factual. The Grand Canyon is no longer.

[Brady]

It's obsolete.

[John Holmberg]

No reason to visit that damn thing. Fill it up, put some water in it. Make it a pool. Do something good. All right, you heard it here first. We at KUPD are gonna go with Brett. The Grand Canyon is now obsolete. It is. Find something new to look at. We've had it with that thing. You know, there's nothing worse than driving up there with people from out of town. I've never done it. Well, actually, we did it when I was a kid once. My. Yeah, my aunt Connie. And who was with us? I don't remember who came. My cousin Connie and my Chris. I don't remember who. Anyway, we went up there and they were. Look, when you watch them lose their minds, it was pretty. Because they're from Pennsylvania. Not me. I'm just sitting there. But you're used to the beautiful desert settings and things. The red. Well, that was the same thing. My ex. My ex's family would come out. So one year we had to go, and then the next year her sister came. I'm like, christ, it's the same thing. We were just there last Year you go. I'm not going. Didn't the other family show you photos? Oh, man, that is true. Now you're talking me into this. We've got these glorious phones that take 4K video. Brett's right. That stupid hole's obsolete thing. The Grand Canyon. What else you got? This ain't so great. What does impress you? What? Nature. That's a good answer. It's not five hours away, having to drive by the Flintstones park and all in a thermos. You haven't had virtual reality yet. You haven't even. No, I mean, that's how even you can. That is.

[Brady]

I climbed Everest.

[John Holmberg]

I have been on Everest. I have been. Well, K2. I've been on K2.

[Brady]

I was on Everest.

[John Holmberg]

I've not done Everest. And I don't want to do Everest. But that was kind of a neat view because they took me right to the top. I cut out the middleman. I was with Brett on that Everest. Another thing that's obsolete. Yep.

[Brady]

And the lines. I can't deal with the lines.

[John Holmberg]

Rome. That stuff's been there for thousands of years. It looks exactly like it used to. That's kind of cool over there. Stupid outside. That's Italy. Those Italians.

[Brady]

I was gonna say the out.

[John Holmberg]

The Italians don't know how to build the same. Not one of their. Not one of their stupid buildings held up either. Those Italians built stuff like, you know, ikea. I'm not going over to look at. That's all obsolete Rome. It is not the attitude we're supposed to have as humans when we planet.

[Brady]

As many times as I've seen, like, the Matterhorn.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty cool. That's very in person. What a humble brag that was.

[Brady]

No, but I'm talking about.

[John Holmberg]

I don't need to go anywhere else. Rubbing it in the face of the guys who won't leave their TVs. As many times as I've seen the Matterhorn. No, let me finish in person.

[Brady]

In our chalet. It's right outside of the window.

[John Holmberg]

I like that you call it our chalet. It's your sisters. You didn't earn any of that. You show up. No, no. That is not your show.

[Brady]

Split it three ways.

[John Holmberg]

You rent it.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Don't say our chalet. You've already bought it up enough with her. As many times as I. I've seen. You know how many times I've seen the Matterhorn? Three At Disneyland. That's me. Yeah, so? And the monster in the middle. Oh, it's awesome. That's the better one.

[Brady]

It's a little different.

[John Holmberg]

There's no rides in your dumb one. Yeah, and I have to drive. And I don't have to fly 16 hours an hour on a flight. I rent a car, I'm there. Matterhorn, same thing. Only mine's got a monster and a ride. But go ahead, finish your story about how many times you've seen the Matterhorn in person from your. In your place. Yeah, in your. Our chalet. Go on, go on. Douche dick.

[Brady]

Well, my sister's flat. Geneva on Lake Geneva.

[John Holmberg]

Those are apartments to us Americans. They call them flats in Europe. And Brady evidently feels he's got dual citizenship. Yeah, as many. Go ahead, finish. As many times I've seen the Matterhorn.

[Brady]

He's still in person.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we heard you. Very bougie.

[Brady]

And the fondue over there?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that again.

[Brady]

Well then they're down that. See, that's just it.

[John Holmberg]

Ray doesn't care about the sights you could poke.

[Brady]

That's nice. Let's get to the fondue.

[John Holmberg]

Would you lose your sight for a lifetime of free food? Oh my God. No, it was too much thought there. You actually gave that. I can. God, I can go to the melting pot. I don't need to go 16 hours. I actually considered for a second go.

[Brady]

Through the rolodex of food.

[John Holmberg]

Wow, 46 kind of fast. Never ever have to. Okay, how about any food you want is at your disposal at any time. Swiss, fondue, all of it. Anything. All you gotta do is poke your eyes out.

[Brady]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, now that's a better answer. But I don't believe you anymore. As many times as I've seen the moon. Let me finish in person from my moon chalet.

[Brady]

Take time to think about that question a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

No, you don't need any second.

[Brady]

A second or two.

[John Holmberg]

Anytime someone says or poke your eyes out, unless it's blowing Guy Fieri. The answer. Answer is always no. I mean think about it. If Neil Armstrong had 4K TV, then he's not riding with three dudes in that little capsule pissing in his suit. Everything else. Yeah, there's no way. That's totally different. I would go to be the first person on the moon. You're not gonna get that. First person to ever watch a person on a moon on 4K. If we had 4K, I'm in. And the Neil Armstrong are watching Neil.

[Brady]

Armstrong in the middle of training? Probably. Can't we just build a studio?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, why don't we fake this? Nobody's smart enough to figure it out. Don't worry, they'll record over the tapes anyway. Look, we're talking about the general public. These, these dip still walk into the Grand Canyon. Think they're gonna know that we're in a studio anyway? All right, well, Brett said it best. The Grand Canyon is obsolete. And also they've closed it for just reasons that nobody's interested anymore. It's just. You got TV now, right? It probably has cut back on quite a lot of it. I don't want to take tourists up there either. I like. I like going. My friends from Chicago, we went up there. I hadn't been there since I was. It was still the same, right? Well, that was not the point. When I was 10, the first time.

[Brady]

I'm gonna go back up.

[John Holmberg]

I had no life experience. No life experience at being 10. I didn't marvel at it. It was, you know, this is evidently something at, you know, when I went last, I was probably, you know, early 40s, at 41, I don't know, I was like, this is majestic. This is. This is a beautiful thing. Then you should go back up there during Labor Day. And I said, that's not how it is. I sat next to Danny Glover and we contemplated the meaning of life. It was a beautiful philosophical moment. I didn't have philosophy in my head when I was 10. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said, fully erect. Hey, Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.

[Brady]

Brett.

[John Holmberg]

I sure do.

[Brady]

It's M and P Guns Customs MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with master trained craftsman. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[John Holmberg]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Brady]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no wait.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at MMP gunscustoms.com It's John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Corps Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the core. He's not going to be back on the court immediately, but in a few months time he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain. You've been living with the Core Institute celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do again. Go to the core institute.com it's John Holmberg here from 98 KUPD. And I've got Bodhi from newac unit.com this guy is flipping the H vac world upside down. Bode, tell them what you're doing. We've cut out the traditional process so you're not paying for sales commissions or showroom markups. Just go online, pick the brand name unit you want, and boom, we show you the real price with install right there. A 100 money back guarantee. And we only work with a plus rated licensed contractors to complete the installation. We're local, we're honest, and we're all about saving you money. Visit new acunit.com and see your price before you buy. New acunit.com no pressures, no surprises, just savings. Laugh like you almost did the first time.

[Brady]

That's what I'm talking about.

[John Holmberg]

The best of homework's morning sickness. I'm 98 KUPD. This segment is brought to you guys by Action Ride Shop.

[Brady]

Now if you're thinking about heading up.

[John Holmberg]

North to hit the slopes for some skiing, some boarding, or if you're just gonna stay down here in the valley and do some mountain biking, Action Ride Shop is your place to be. They got all the gear and all the knowledge you're gonna need, so check them out [e-mail] or better yet, just go visit them over there on Gilbert Road and Southern. It's Action Ride Shop. I'm reading about this last night. I saw a special on the kid that we did this story a while ago, but he went missing in 2008. And then his parents were like, in this frantic state of like everything was crazy. He's missing and try to find him. And then, you know, he kind of gave up hope after a couple of years. Then a couple, I guess like seven years later, they remodeled a grocery store and found his dead body behind one of the giant fridges. Been back there the whole time. And so the crazy part was for seven years he was behind an open grocery store. People shopped in, he was behind one of the fridges, stuck it in between the wall and the fridge, and no one, no one ever went right. So he was trapped back there, dies, and then for seven years, the stores open. This body's been back there the whole time. The fridge is doing all the circulating from behind, pushing the air up into the ceiling. Never happened. And it kept him cool enough all the time also because he was up again against cool stuff somehow that he was fine back there. And then they closed the grocery store and didn't touch it for three years. And somebody picks up the property, goes in there, remodels it, and as they're pulling the old fridges out, there's body just kind of crumbles out of there. So they're trying to figure out if he got stuffed back there or if he was somehow another stuck. But it was 2019 when they went there and just removed some shelves and freezers and they found a human body.

[Brady]

Yeah. Did he have a, you know, massive heart attack or something?

[John Holmberg]

No. The cleanup crew said they found the discovered body wedged behind a 12 foot tall freezer. Took DNA testing to figure out and the clothes that he had on, whether it was him. He'd been dead in the store for seven years while it operated and three more after it closed. So people struggled to get their heads around that, like how in the world this happened. Nobody heard him the first couple days screaming and yelling and evidently was just a out quick. Others been able to uncomprehend how shoppers and staff couldn't tell there was something behind the freezer. Just based on behavior of bugs, rats, you know, any sort of. Any exterminator that would come by, like you'd figure they would find it. Yeah, says shop workers who had similar roles to Larry's role. The guy who died said that nobody seemed to notice the stench because the fridge was doing just enough to push it out of there grocery store. He said. As a grocery store worker, I can definitely say stores and grocery back rooms are full of horrible smells all the time too. Sometimes old dairy sometimes spills. If there's a dead body in one of the stores, you wouldn't even think twice about smelling it if you went back to the back rooms. But there are all sorts of people just saying it so they still don't know like what happened. They said rats would constantly crawl into boxes anyway and they would die. And we'd be the last ones to know if they came across a corpse and then, you know, were dragging. That's why they were there. So they just don't know. So who knows what kind of grocery store drama is going on back there. Maybe we should start looking behind fridges for all those missing people. Like kids go missing. It's like if you check behind the fridge because evidently that'll mask it for 10 years, they still don't know what happened to this guy, why it happened, was it murder, was it anything else?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And the cops basically set at the end of the story probably going to be a mystery forever. The way he was positioned, it could have gotten stuck, could have gotten stuffed. But they're like, we really don't see any reason to believe this is murder. But we also have no reason to believe this guy should have been standing back there in the first place where he got trapped. It's a crazy story.

[Brady]

That's why I'm saying like if he, you know, if it wasn't murder, he's.

[John Holmberg]

Back there repairing it and he wasn't fixing anything. He's not that guy. He was like just a. He was like a 17 year old kid working at the grocery store. He wasn't like a repair man or anything. Like what was he doing back there? Whatever reason he said maybe good and smoking. But we always used to go into the. At Tony Romans we'd go into the freezer and it would occasionally latch shut and you couldn't get out unless somebody on the other side popped it open. Because we didn't back.

[Brady]

They didn't have the emergency.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't have the emergency handle. So you'd, you know, people would jokingly shut you in there and you'd see how long you could go in, in there and then you'd try to like go, you know, you bring a girl in there, see how long you guys can do stuff before she couldn't take it anymore. That goes on at a lot of restaurants where there's bone in the login. Because there was loads of it going on at Tony Roma's during the shift. You go in there and see if you could get. If she would, you know, if any of that moisture she was creating would turn froze. What would happen if you finish does that turn froze in the air? Because that stuff was like it was zero degrees in there. It was quite literally a freezer. Usually it would end it making out you couldn't keep it up. There's nothing about that. But if she tried to go down and do some stuff. Oh, it was, it was awkward but fun. But that body being in there, it's just a fascinating story. And somebody just pointed out, was Brett anywhere near that Safeway that you're. It wasn't a safe way. There wasn't a body behind the freeze and no Brett was nowhere to be seen scene. Although that hadn't crossed my mind. Fascinating. Where are you? Where dead bodies can be and no one Would know who looks behind the fridge.

[Brady]

Someone else. And then a couple weeks ago was someone bought a house and the body.

[John Holmberg]

Was in the wall. Yeah, that seems to be more of a construction Italian thing. He put you in the drywall and hang air fresheners off you until they don't work anymore. But yeah, behind the fridge. You know, nobody wants to move their fridge. You move your fridge out.

[Brady]

Oh, well, especially if it's a big commercial unit.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, you're not touching that. It's a lot of times it's bolted into stuff. And I don't want to see what's under my fridge. God knows what's in there. And I know you're supposed to roll it out every once in a while and clean up underneath. No one does that. That's A, that's a lot of work. And B, that just seems like you're gonna. You're gonna think you live in a rat's nest, realize what a pig you actually are. I'll have Gloria come by. Why won't you move the fridge out of the way and get to that. I had a. I have a bar fridge in my little Steelers bar. And it's a normal size, like, apartment refrigerator. It's a freezer and a fridge. Yeah. And I'd rolled that out one time and I couldn't believe what was down there. And it only been in there for maybe a year. Like this thing, like it just collects junk. Like there were Cheerios. I haven't had Cheerios in the house since I lived there. We had Cheerios in there. I'm like, how did Cheerios just appear? And that's where Cheerios come from is under your fridge. They're self manufactured. It's gross. It makes you feel like a hoarder. Makes you feel like you're.

[Brady]

Get that vacuum wand out.

[John Holmberg]

Just try. You try. Yeah, but you're not doing anything special down there. You pull that fridge out, you might find a body. If you've got a missing kid, check behind the fridge. That's all I'm saying. That's what that taught me, watching that special yesterday. No one. And they're kicking. And again, my rule is no one ever really looks for a living kid. Ever. Every parent that does the press conference and says, we're gonna find Adam and he's gonna be in our house again soon. And then they go looking and they show him in the field and they're all looking down. No living kids just laying around like they know the living kid that's missing is probably sitting or Leaning against a tree or running. The parents know. That's why they look down and they walk through high grass. They know what's on. Going, going on. But look behind your fridge. Evidently that's a thing.

[Brady]

Imagine that last thing. He went to work, which was at that store, and then went to work. And then now you're looking everywhere. But you'd never think about that.

[John Holmberg]

Sweeping up. Goes behind there. I'm going to clean behind. Maybe he was just a diligent work. I'm going to clean behind the fridge. Nobody's ever done this. It stinks back here. Gets his coat trapped on something and he's stuck back there between the wall.

[Brady]

Back into position and he's.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. And. Or somebody walks by and goes, what's this doing out here? And pushes him out and smashes him.

[Brady]

Between with his headphones on. With the guy pushing it back, Right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And now we're picturing a 70s movie where the black janitor is just too busy into his, you know, earth, wind and fire to hear the screams of them. Why is this refrigerator sticking out? And he smashes a man in between the fridge and the wall. And then goes. And then he goes back to just dancing and mop the way the 70s taught us to live. Meanwhile, this guy's stuff, he's jammed back there and that has to be a tough phone call. We found him. Oh, good. Is he okay? No, he's not okay. Where was he? What field did we almost find him? We were not even close. Stuck behind the fridge at work. We never even thought to look at work. I'm glad you're taking this so well, but, yeah, look in the places. You don't imagine that, you know, he was at work. Last seen at work. And then they scoured the workplace and, like, there's no evidence of him. He was in there. Isn't that weird? Like, if I die, look around here. Start where you last saw me. And like, be thorough.

[Brady]

He curls up in spots sometimes. You don't know around here.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, sometimes he balls up like a cat. Check behind the couch. Sure enough, there he is. First place we look, he got behind the couch and then Brady flopped on the couch and crushed his head. It's not pretty. Where's John? Is he not coming today? Smells in here like Korean barbecue. PD Holmberg's morning sickness. It's good to be on top, isn't it? Yeah. So get on top and ride with the top morning show in town and the Best of Home Bird morning sickness. And then the other thing that's going around the world. I got a text yesterday about 12:31 o' clock that said, have you seen this? And it's a picture of Nicolas Cage and John Madden. And I'm like, this is not. This is AI. This is fake. Like, no. And Caliendo was sending me this. And he goes, this is real. And then he sends me the story that Nicolas Cage has been cast as John Madden in an upcoming movie. It is signed and done and they're ready to go. And it's not about John Madden's life, it's about the video game creation, like how EA Sports got John Madden football up and running and like the, you know, the stuff that went with it. Nicholas Cage is going to play John Madden. Evidently this has been in the works for a while because Will Ferrell had the job that fell apart. And if it wasn't going to be Will Ferrell, Hugh Jackman was going to play John Madden. So I told Caliendo, I'm like, dude, fire your agent immediately. This is your job. And he goes, oh, they wanted a real actor. I'm like, nobody is doing Madden that you made a career out of it. How is Nicolas Cage gonna be a better John Madden than Frank? Even if the acting's not that great and Frank can act a little bit. But there it is. Nicholas Cage as John Madden. Boom. Hey, friends. John Mann here for Ace Hardware. Yeah, giddy up. Boom. Bam. Right in the snot locker. Yeah, giddy up. How in the world is this gonna be? Here's a guy trying to play mean being meh. I'm Telestrator's not gonna do it. You know, it's got this thing over here. Yeah, that's why I sound just like that guy. I should be cast as John Mann. If Nicolas Cage's agent called and said Cage's interest and Caliendo's agent called and said Caliento wants to play the Madden part. If you've got this script and you're the guy in charge of this movie, who do you put in that role? Maybe it's a Feldman thing. Maybe, you know, I mean, this movie could be the Feldman. Here's a guy loves football. I just don't see it. And I know he'll do the thing, but how in the world did that. How is Will Ferrell? How is that taking it more seriously than Calienta? So I told him, I call your agent, fire him immediately. This should have been one of those things like Pauly Shore begging to do the, you know, the Richard Simmons movie and then like getting it to like. That's Pauly Shore's project. John Madden movies need to be. While Caliendo's still young. He's about the age Madden was when this whole thing happened with the. That was 30 years ago that this game started. It's perfect because Frank's right around 50. I think that's about how old Madden was when the game creation started. This is perfect. And he's like, yeah. I said they didn't want. So I'm like, you don't even know. Like your agent's not paying attention. That's what an agent would do. You find out they're making a John Madden movie and you've got Frank Caliendo on your roster and you don't make a call. You're not pushing for that. Come on, you need to be his agent. That's what I said. I'm like, hire me. I'll get you. I'll get. Get Cage fired. Frank's email for a while was that Madden guy. Dot com. How in the world is he not up for the. Well, that's just how little he's done in his life, I guess. But we have to give him an award later. This is the Frank Caliendo. Frank Caliendo Snub of the Year award. This is. This is tragic. It's terrible. You can't have that. It's. It's like Nicholas Cage playing O.J. simpson. I'm like, come on. It's. You gotta get a guy who does it. I do want to see this, though. I think maybe they have piqued curiosity with such terrible casting that I actually want to see.

[Brady]

I just find it hard to believe they threw out Hugh Jackman in the order Mike.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Oh, I can do it. Watch this. Boom. Whack. Here's a guy. No, here. It's not working out. Need me to do my American accent? I can do that as well. Boom. Whack. Here's a guy. We're gonna go with Cage. Has anyone called Frank? Good God, no. You gotta call. You have to call somebody says, do Nicholas Cage Madden in the square. Probably. Will we probably Give me an hour or two to work on something. We'll get that together. Or maybe Brady will have a treatment since he's out of his line. He's. He's driving around like that Alsco guy. This little. Little Madden. Little Cage. Madden. Yeah. Boom, Whack. First down. I'm gonna get on the bus now, baby girl. I don't get it. But that's the way the world works. But Caliento I feel for you. Been a friend for a long time. I'd have made that call. Does that mean they swap a little.

[Brady]

Money, do a little independence it and put it out before that?

[John Holmberg]

Break one out first. Yeah, that's not a bad idea. Or just he's gonna have it in his act soon. But what he should be like again, agents have access to things that have been greenlit. Like they know what's coming. Like, you know, it's down. Like Variety is the newspaper. We find. They find that stuff out before where an agent's like, oh, Paramount's talking about doing a John Madden. I got a guy. And at the very least, you push. I don't know how to be an agent because I don't understand money or contracts, but I do know what's right for something. I could be a casting director in a heartbeat. If you're not doing Kellyanne or at least audition, give him a chance. Apparently Frank's the agent. Doesn't know how to be an agent either. No, Frank, Yeah. I'm better than him. And Frank's agent, he doesn't love Frank enough. I think that's it.

[Brady]

Frank did a good one the other day on Instagram. He's. It's retro. It's Madden calling current football. It was like Mahomes play.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, oh, Is it the Kansas City Chiefs thing where the wolf gets involved? He does, yeah. He does that every. Every year. Yeah, he's been after the wolf. He. He's trying to create like, the wolf scares Madden for some reason. Or he's like. Like thinks the wolf's up to something. How come he's got wolf for a mascara? Can't see. He's been doing that one for a little bit. It's fun, though. But yeah, he still does Madden and it's, you know. And then he could have been my friend and said, well, I need my buddy John to go in there and be the summerall.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And just. That's right, John. That's all he ever said. You've got it, John. Second down. Duck. Sienna beds, John. Yeah, cpap. That's right. Sleep in too. Here's a guy just wants to get out there and do the job and Nicholas Cage's gonna do it for him. I mean, that would be as offensive as me stealing Frank's impression of John Madden and getting the job. This is because, you know, Nicholas Cage is gonna watch Frank. He's not gonna watch John Madden. He's gonna watch Frank. The impression gets. Unlike Locked by the Impressionist. He's gonna watch Frank and he's gonna steal it from the guy. This is garbage. Garbage. But our little guy, Frank Kelly and I'm gonna sit at home and have to watch that movie. Could have been a couple million bucks in his pocket because you know Cage ain't doing that for free.

[Brady]

I told him they asked me and I go call Frank. He'd be perfect for this.

[John Holmberg]

I called you for the Andy Reid story called Full of Nugs.

[Brady]

Coming up, the biopic.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Nuggies Delight is what it was called electric boogaloo 2. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. We're here with Byron from M and P Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Brady]

The choice is simple, Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection, handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact, right now all pre owned firearms are 20. All new firearms are 10% off. We have Ammo Inc. 9 millimeter hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Brady]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at the northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at mmpguns.com hey, what's up?

[John Holmberg]

It's Mo and my friends at the University of Advancing Technology has been ranked the number one best college for computer science for not one, but two years in a row. Which makes total sense because UAT are always on the lookout for those who don't just embrace technology. They live. From advancing computer science and robotics to cybersecurity, gaming and artificial intelligence, UAT is where innovation thrives. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution, visit uat.edu mo. And don't just study tech, live it. It's John Holmer here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk again about my friends at Trajan Wealth. I always talk to you about the will and trust. The estate plan that I put together with Kent at Trajan Wealth. Kent was unbelievable. And man, you want to make sure medical power of attorney and power of attorney are established. Because if something bad happens and you don't have anybody speaking for you, somebody you don't know will keep control of your life even when you're not in control. All you have to do is get it done. Today at Trajan Wealth, 4, 8, 0990-3300 Trajan Wealth Legal Services are offered through trades in the State Law Firm LLC. You're listening to the HMS Podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. You just gave me my reach around. Here's another best of rerun from the morning sickness. It's time for the Brady Report. That's all the news that only Brady knows and it's brought to you by our friends all Pro Shade Concepts. Arizona's best patio shades. Still got to get them out to the house. Talked to them last Wednesday at that baseball game. Keep an eye on that stuff like oh, I got some ideas now. Got to get them out there. He'll come out to your house free installation. Free estimates. Take a look at your situation and see where they can put some shade in your backyard and block up to 95% of the sun's UV rays. Cut that dust, cut the wind and drop temps up to 20 degrees. That is awesome. So you get to, you know, little relief from the summer heat. Have a nice little area in the back. Plus when it's like 90 outside then it's epic. Now you got something going. AllProchade.com that's where you go. Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Monday morning to Phoenix. Hello world. Happy national milk chocolate day. A couple of basis fun facts. The biggest city in Florida is Jacksonville.

[John Holmberg]

Really? Yeah. Miami's not a populated place. It's got a lot around it though.

[Brady]

The population in fact is twice as big as Miami.

[John Holmberg]

I think Miami's only like 5 or 600,000. Such a huge city because everything around it's another city. But you leave Miami like almost immediately.

[Brady]

Once you're Boca part of Miami.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I know that there's like Hollywood and what's the other thing it's not. But no, they're just all cities that feel like you're still in Miami but you're not. Jacksonville's way up in the panhandle, right? I think so.

[Brady]

Yeah. The sixth biggest in export by the United States.

[John Holmberg]

Sixth.

[Brady]

Yeah. Is blood.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Brady]

Human and animal plus vaccines and cultures. It's bigger than soybeans, corn or gold.

[John Holmberg]

Got a lot of it, eh? How come they keep telling us there's shortages?

[Brady]

I just found out about the goal about the corn thing that we get a lot of corn from Russia.

[John Holmberg]

Evidently corn is. Corn is. Corn is the world's secret is scary what it charges all the fields that.

[Brady]

You see, but that's how much they've. I guess been cutting back on farming.

[John Holmberg]

It isn't about cutting back. It's about how much they use consumption. It's not even food ethanol and like they the corn is in every single thing. Watch watch the documentary years ago called food Inc. We started having digestive issues. We started having allergies to food when they started to produce corn and put it in everything. It's in your drinks corn syrup. It's in everything. And it's that that documentary opens your eyes and it's not supposed to be like a we got them documentary. It's just like eye opening to go do you know what this is about and how it's what it's done to food and how how we're not because it's not a digestible food. I don't know. That's why there's always corn in your poop. It's not something your body digests easily and we eat it and stuff it in ourselves on instantly Food Inc is actually it's been it's been a long time since I've watched it. It's older but it is like it's one of those documentaries. You're done. You're like I'm changing some stuff. And then you do for like a week or two and you're like but the corn is everywhere. It's too hard. Sorry. I do too. But it isn't about eating it. When you find out what else it's used for you're like oh my God. Like it's everything.

[Brady]

It multitasks gas.

[John Holmberg]

It's crazy how much like it is just insane. What we use corn.

[Brady]

So 41 year old Anthony Foko hey chucked his spaghetti dinner at his mother. Oh you never at mom's house?

[John Holmberg]

No. I wouldn't know.

[Brady]

Down to a verbal argument. Spaghetti and meatballs to the face. He got arrested 56250 he's 56250 yeah female box surprised he threw mama spaghetti.

[John Holmberg]

But Bobby baklava Yeah it is the spaghetti made contact with the victim who had spaghetti sauce in her hair. Authorities say that's actually from the story the 5 foot 6250 pound FIACO hey judge told him he's no longer allowed to have contact with his mother. You don't tell me judge he'll be able allowed a one time visit in the presence of enforcement to retrieve personal belongings. Goes back to where he was living with his mother. And he tossed spaghetti's meatballs in her face. What are you talking about? That's illegal. This happens all the time. She's an Italian woman. They used to getting stuff thrown in their faces. Come on. What would your mom have done if.

[Brady]

You'D thrown gravy at her?

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't be here sitting with you guys. Killed. Yeah. I don't know how that guy was standing in a courtroom. Yeah. Italian mother. You throw food at their heads? Nope. The only one allowed to do that is Raging Bull. Yeah, he threw that steak. Yeah. La Motta was allowed to do it. And he beat the tar out of her and she stayed. Well, you know the stand a point. My stick. Where is it? I don't know why you make a good stick. Stand a point. You think he was. You give him the benefit of the doubt in that argument after we watch the movie. But if I remember, if I remember what I saw, he was fairly unhinged. The stake scene is amazing. I believe he was actually beating Kathy Moriarty in that scene.

[Brady]

Probably was.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, that was vicious.

[Brady]

Cops in South Carolina had to respond to a family brawl last Sunday. It was brawl he did.

[John Holmberg]

You looked at me. I heard it too. Brawl. Brawl. Yeah. Gotta be a little more family bras. Gross.

[Brady]

Last Sunday night involving a gun and knife, a broom and a can of bug spray and a piece of poorly cooked chicken. 27 year old Anthony Harper was cooking chicken while his 25 year old sister Hope Harper asked why. Why didn't he season it so he could crust up the skin? Yeah, he told her, I know how to cook chicken. Back up. Grammy was going to season the chicken.

[John Holmberg]

Grammy, of course.

[Brady]

Calm down.

[John Holmberg]

This conversation is not for you.

[Brady]

Grammy was in the other room.

[John Holmberg]

Brett, step away from this. This is not for you. You're making. Now stop it. He's jumping to conclusions. He's jumping to conclusions. He may or may not be right. I just don't want to go down that road yet.

[Brady]

Sister Hope called him a dumb dog.

[John Holmberg]

You're reaching now. No, not a dawn.

[Brady]

Which prompted Anthony to shove her, to shove her into the kitchen table and punch her in the face. And someone else in the home walked in and fired a handgun in the ceiling.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you. There it is.

[Brady]

It just took a little longer in.

[John Holmberg]

The story, but it's somebody named Hope. This is very possibly white trash.

[Brady]

Hope grabbed the steak knife and started chasing Anthony through the house.

[John Holmberg]

Now it's Mexican.

[Brady]

She finally started stopped when Grammy showed up and started swatting her with a broom.

[John Holmberg]

It's back to bread's way.

[Brady]

Still wasn't over.

[John Holmberg]

Crime. I know.

[Brady]

Anthony grabbed a can of Raid and started spraying Hope in the face with it.

[John Holmberg]

Raid at the ready is white trash. Angelina Jolie's house. I mean you got everybody included.

[Brady]

Then she snagged it from him and sprayed him back.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. The raid was stolen.

[Brady]

Someone finally called the cops. The two siblings. Siblings both said they wanted to press charges. So they both got arrested.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady]

They're each facing charges of assault.

[John Holmberg]

Time to play who was right. Let's see it. Here's the photo. I'm thinking. I'm right. I'm thinking white trash.

[Brady]

I'm thinking white trash.

[John Holmberg]

I knew when I heard the word hope. Hold on. We have controversy. No, that's white. That's a full on white truck. Trash. That looks like weird alien. Yeah, I'm going Puerto Rican. No, that's just sad. That's trash.

[Brady]

No, no, that's.

[John Holmberg]

There's some ethnic and you can't switch. You lost your initials. White trash. When they said her name was Hope Harper. I'm like that's why.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Harper's Harper is definitely falls into 3 or 4k family.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Harper is definitely something to go any direction. Hope Harper. Harper. That's full white trash right there. Hopefully Harper. I guarantee your middle names Lee or South Carolina. It's Hopeland or hopefully Harper. I guarantee you. Yeah, that was good. That was fun game. Guess the f. Yeah, guess. Guess who done it. Yeah. It's clue. We got a new game. It's racial clue.

[Brady]

Grammy's got a broom.

[John Holmberg]

Race clue. We nailed it. I love it. Let's play this again. Next race clue is fun. Well yeah. We'll be back with more race clue.

[Brady]

I've got a quick wild world.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Ready for that. Hold on. And go.

[Brady]

Hello my friends. Brady Bogan here with your wild wild World. It's been more than 10,000 years since the last fur covered woolly mammoth lumbered across the arctic tundra.

[John Holmberg]

So there, there were bald ones.

[Brady]

The company just the fur covered summer heat. It would shed some of the. You know.

[John Holmberg]

But the last furry ones. Yeah.

[Brady]

10,000 years.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

But the company called Colossal they built one. They're going to roll them out. They said the first herd should be and they're going to release them to the wild arctic tundra.

[John Holmberg]

No, you can't.

[Brady]

20, 27 is when the first herd will be put out there. You got this entrepreneur Ben Lamb and. And a Harvard geneticist George Church. They have Colossal. They got already $15 million raised. They're using that crispr method, the gene editing deal. They can create a sure enough they just piece it together. Now they're. They're the reason why they're doing this is they terrible idea. It'll help Earth because by releasing the woolly mammoth back to the Arctic it'll create more grass.

[John Holmberg]

Because of the poop.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Are we looking for grass on the.

[Brady]

Which will provide more carbon for the Earth? It's whatever that. What do they call it that they have to dig down to the permafrost or whatever that the. That the caribou eat.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Oh that stuff that's just below the surface. That still grows.

[John Holmberg]

Who's hunting them? Because eventually we're gonna have a population problem.

[Brady]

Oh, the special hunt. You'd make millions.

[John Holmberg]

My dad's gonna go to that.

[Brady]

Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

It's his birthday. You just gave my dad the greatest birthday present. I don't know if Ha.

[Brady]

Yellow.

[John Holmberg]

All he and Hyalla have to do is live five more years. They're gonna be hunting mammoths.

[Brady]

We've got Jurassic park happening.

[John Holmberg]

That's. Has no one seen two and a half years. He said 2027. I know. That's the babies. They're not gonna kill the first batch. They won't let you hunt for another 10 years. Five years. He'll be a special permit.

[Brady]

I guess you're right.

[John Holmberg]

That is. This is another thing that. Remember Brady was talking about that and you just brought.

[Brady]

You're right. It is.

[John Holmberg]

Baby.

[Brady]

Babies. How do they.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they're not babies. Eternal. I don't know when they.

[Brady]

Well, they created it in a lab. Right. It's got to start somewhere. Yeah. It has to grow. I would think. I don't think it is. So you start as a baby. That's the whole.

[John Holmberg]

If it's 2027, that means that there's one in a house right now. Yeah.

[Brady]

They say yeah. It would have to be somebody's.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody's fostering one.

[Brady]

How do you get on that list?

[John Holmberg]

We need a foster cats and dogs and maybe a ferret looking for a foster home. Yeah.

[Brady]

Because I. Those fe. Those posts are all over my feed.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody's got.

[Brady]

We need a foster. They're in. I mean they're up in.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady]

Cold weather climate.

[John Holmberg]

Well, sure. Yeah. I'm sure they. They're not doing.

[Brady]

But like if winter rolls back in Columbus, I'm going to ask my mom. Baby mammoth cold enough at your retirement home?

[John Holmberg]

Wow. All right. They haven't sent us one picture of this yet. Yet. This is the first I'm hearing of this. I knew they talked about it for.

[Brady]

A long time because they. You know when they.

[John Holmberg]

The first her.

[Brady]

They find those frozen mammoths still where.

[John Holmberg]

They'Ve Got plenty of suck them out. Make one guy.

[Brady]

Made cook some up. What?

[John Holmberg]

Huh?

[Brady]

He cooked the frozen mammoth meat.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. Okay. Yuck. Of course you know about that. And I made food out of a 10,000 year old.

[Brady]

What was his technique, Brady? Did he smoke?

[John Holmberg]

Well, he had to smoke slow and low because he's been frozen for a long time. But you know, frozen meat lasts a lifetime. My new, my new rub. Brady's mammoth rub. 10,000 years in the making. Found it, eaten it. Well that is flat out horrifying. I hope that doesn't work. I hope they're all retardo mammoths and they just eat each other and drop dead. 30 days, we can't do that. Maybe the earth's air starts to kill Dolly the sheep. Because the worst part is maybe it works and then they're going to start doing it with other stuff and we'll have a dodo and they'll start working on other extinct things and then next thing you know you got a saber toothed tiger walking around U of A campus.

[Brady]

After the news that we had I think two weeks ago about. Oh you know we were wrong about the T. Rex. We think they're 70% bigger than the skeletons we found.

[John Holmberg]

Let's shoot up one of those and see if we were right. You can see it from space. We don't have a gun big enough.

[Brady]

To take these things down.

[John Holmberg]

Turns out that they were T. Rexes. Were like 9 T. Rexes PER. Like a, Like a Megatron of T. Rex. Yes. So we just found the bones of a little bit of it.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And there were animals that lived on other animals. They were so big. Great man. I'm fine with that. It'll be an entertaining end. All right, close.

[Brady]

That's your wide world.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no. Thanks. Joe Biden.

[Brady]

We got this 43 year old man in Thailand that was arrested it he'd been stealing women's panties off of clotheslines they're hanging about.

[John Holmberg]

I understand. Cut him off. Police tracked him down by air drying your underpants.

[Brady]

They were able to identify his clothes and the scooter he was on.

[John Holmberg]

Well so let me guess. He's 5 4, dark hair, rides a scooter. The whole country is a suspect.

[Brady]

He said he was under the influence of alcohol, drugs during the theft. Feeling a strong urge, he grabbed the underwear and says I did it because my wife doesn't own any of these. I wish she did.

[John Holmberg]

She doesn't own panties or the types he was looking for. Types that he likes air drying things in Thailand. Must Take days. It's the most humid place on the planet.

[Brady]

It is very.

[John Holmberg]

There's no reason for a clothesline. It's gonna get wetter outside.

[Brady]

He then hung the underwear in his bathroom and used to help him masturbate.

[John Holmberg]

How did they find that out? He told him.

[Brady]

He offered it up.

[John Holmberg]

Why? Why tell him that? Just say you stole it and leave it at that.

[Brady]

He said, I did it that way to hide it from his family. You've spilled too much. They found more underwear above the bathroom ceiling.

[John Holmberg]

Basically in the tile.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Keeping them in the attic. Yeah.

[Brady]

And then he went on. Just to clarify, my family had nothing to do with this.

[John Holmberg]

We're not. We're not assuming they did. This is not a family. This isn't like a, you know, an exercise that family, kids, get in the car moment.

[Brady]

He said he felt sorry for his wife, saying sure. That he was afraid that his wife would misunderstood, misunderstand and think that he loved the panties more than her.

[John Holmberg]

Kind of did. If he had, he would hang them in the bathroom and stare at them. Yeah. And masturbate.

[Brady]

It was like a panty review for him.

[John Holmberg]

What are you in there? Do they have Internet where he's from?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't understand that. Panties.

[Brady]

But when you're looking on them in the video, then you have them for real. John.

[John Holmberg]

No. Nope.

[Brady]

Did it say what city? Because he might have been in one of the cities that has those floor toilets.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God. The hell's going on? It doesn't matter what city he's in.

[Brady]

That's whack it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It doesn't matter. But I'll tell you this. It's about time guys realized what panties are. They're not for. They're. They're a catch all.

[Brady]

But that's why those guys like it.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's catching the stuff, remember? What?

[Brady]

Brady.

[John Holmberg]

That shouldn't be in there.

[Brady]

Filter. Yeah, it's the.

[John Holmberg]

It's. It's gross. It's a catch all to not get that stuff on your outside pants. Come on, fellas.

[Brady]

Come on, guys.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. We got photographs now. It's since the late 1800s. We've had pictures use that, but you can't get the same smell. Yeah, the catch all. That's her. That's. There's words for that. That you tell a doctor if your underwear smells that bad that it's. You need a physician.

[Brady]

These ones smell too clean.

[John Holmberg]

Yuck. This don't smell like she sneezed from downstairs. Oh, that's good stuff there. I hang these in bathroom.

[Brady]

This one. Softball.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God. Oh, this one happened. She was jogging today. Gross underwear. I've never understood that. Like panty raids. I don't want to touch her underwear. That's gross. It's the catch all. Whatever's falling out of that thing, that thing's catching it. And then she goes and scrub a dubs for you later. If she's a good one. Oh, underwear sniffers. There's a lot wrong with you.

[Brady]

Speaking of intercourse.

[John Holmberg]

Hey. What?

[Brady]

Students at the Canberra University in Australia, the sexual health organization has to send out an apology because they are the ones that distribute condoms for the students.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady]

And this year they made a little mistake.

[John Holmberg]

Fake.

[Brady]

They handed out ultrasound probe covers. Ultrasound probe covers instead of condoms. Similar packaging.

[John Holmberg]

Right, but they're sold in the sale.

[Brady]

No, the health officials put it together, but they used the wrong.

[John Holmberg]

Do they work?

[Brady]

No, they're not.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there we go. I mean, she might end up a little itchy.

[Brady]

Well, I was just saying the ones I used seem to work out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, ultrasound probes are not. I'm unimpressed. This is if this is a better fit. Ronnie Hawk 2 on that and let's get to work.

[Brady]

You can see it's pretty obvious when they're handing them out. And it says checkmate probe cover.

[John Holmberg]

Lubricated probe cover. It says it right there on the thing. But they package them in the exact. The exact same little tear apart, upside down. It looks like a rubber. Yeah, but the kids were strapping these on and having little Australian babies.

[Brady]

Turn them back in.

[John Holmberg]

Hi. I used your rubber there, teacher, and guess what? Sheila's pregnant. Turns out these are just. Where did you buy these? At the drugstore. Why are they selling them together?

[Brady]

And of course, what was the college that they hand them out? Dixon College.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, I'll tell you this, that's a pretty bad error on whoever ordered it.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, Bring them back. Let's get you the real ones.

[John Holmberg]

So I played jabber hole with my girlfriend and her gutted rabbit turned into this big swollen puff. Maybe it was the rubber. Turned out I was using a cover for an ultrasonic stick. Not my own though. It said lubricated, but we didn't know with what. Turns out it's mayonnaise. The magic ingredient. Well, that's no good. But I've had friends use tell me they've used non condom condoms. So Brady's little. Well, isn't far fetched to think close enough. No, no.

[Brady]

Your question was, was it effective?

[John Holmberg]

Right. Oh, and we know it's not Effective.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I mean, it fit. Not that it worked. I'm sure it would work, but yeah. I mean, you could use gauze and make a T shirt. It's still not a shirt. But you're covered up. Same thing with this stuff. Functional. I mean, I had a friend use Reynolds wrap. Oh. As a condom. Oh, Jesus. And it didn't work. It was all over the place. It was. His name was. His name was Jim. He didn't knock her up, but I think they both have warts. And I'm not going to say who gave what to what, but he said he. I wrapped it right up, man. And then they used a hair. Hair tie to keep it on the bottom.

[Brady]

Then put her in the refrigerator.

[John Holmberg]

Well, because it was in the. On the fly and he didn't have one. And she was. Look, not just him. What kind of horses. Yeah, wrap it up. She's any better? Go get the cling wrap. Are you sure? I'll run to the drugstore. No, we don't have that kind of time. Get the cling wrap. How does that work exactly? Just start spinning it around. Watch yourself on that razor.

[Brady]

It's all out. The only thing we have is wax. Use it.

[John Holmberg]

Use it. I have old newspaper and a sock. Get on that. Let's go. What a. But this dude was. He was the one who also stole purses of big girls. Oh, that's a bad dude. But he used Reynolds wrap on it. How big was his collection at 8. I remember 8, 7 or 8. In the back seat of his car. And I asked him, 7. What you. With the purses and really big. He wasn't. J. James, what is do. Are you going to do the squares now? What is going on with you? Yesterday he was going working on a maniscalco and I said, for what? Who are you? He starts doing this voice and I'm like, what are you doing working on my Manascalco? Like, are you auditioning for something? Let me just. Yeah, let me just stop you. Is Brady doing the squares today? Is he doing all the voices? I'm gonna leave early. I gotta. I got a lot to do to do secret square. I'll do the secret square. Brady will do all of them. Give all his treatments out. We're sitting in the golf cart. Yesterday I got the thing on the thing. I'm like, what are you doing working on my man of Scala? You're fired. You're fired. Stop it. What's the deal with these people? What are you doing? It's my prepubescent mana Scala. I'm like, all right, work on that. That's great.

[Brady]

Work on your own cages first.

[John Holmberg]

And then I thought he was having a stroke when he goes, why are you doing that? What are you doing? Oh, I see. It's your James gum.

[Brady]

Prepubescent.

[John Holmberg]

That's it. It's Lil Jame Gum. And he had his Kamala laugh this morning. Yeah, I don't know what's going on here. I don't know what's going to. The new one. We have new ones. Oh, geez. Top red one there. Oh, I think I broke it together in the Brady box. Yeah, Brady, you have three of them.

[Brady]

Yeah. So the one that's on the top.

[John Holmberg]

The top in my.

[Brady]

Let me suck that, dude.

[John Holmberg]

That one. Oh, you added the Kamala La. Oh, dear God.

[Brady]

Let me suck that D. I don't.

[John Holmberg]

Know what that is. That is the worst sound I've ever heard.

[Brady]

That's what you're going to hear on the west side. And then the new one from yesterday is on the right side. But I love the D. There you go.

[John Holmberg]

Finding things. Brady says, isolate that. Anyway, the story I was telling before Lil Jim Gum showed up, Jimmy steal fat girls purses at parties and then have sex with them. And he'd steal their purse and then he'd go get gassed with their cards or money in the purse. It was terrible. But he was the one that wrapped his penis in Saran Wrap with an. Had to be an absolute disgusting pig. And you know, you say, well, you're an idiot, but I would have probably done the same. You know, they do that at the massage parlors a lot of the times. Oh yeah, Reynolds.

[Brady]

I've heard that.

[John Holmberg]

Because condoms are expensive and Reynolds Wrap is reasonable, but I don't think that stops STDs or hand warts. Can you get hand warts?

[Brady]

One of our cop friends said when they busted one of those massage places, there were.

[John Holmberg]

There were guys in there wearing the Reynolds wrap. I wonder if that's a thing. What? Because otherwise why would they do it? Just wear rubber gloves?

[Brady]

Yeah. Towel you off, I think.

[John Holmberg]

I wonder if you like if he had active herpes on his weenie. If you can get hand herpes. Like if she had a cut. I don't. I don't know how that works. Can you transfer it that way those.

[Brady]

Gloves open up all the time.

[John Holmberg]

No, but can you transfer the medical people, please? If you've got.

[Brady]

Got or a hand.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there's the other thing maybe she's got, but I don't think Those are transmittable warts. Like sex. Great band name, too. Hand Herpes. Hand Herpes.

[Brady]

Oh, I thought you meant transmittable warts.

[John Holmberg]

Transmittable Warts. Much too hard to. Gotta explain that one title of their album. Yes, but anyway, Jim used to steal purses from fat girls and wrap himself up in Reynolds wrapping. It didn't work. The hair tie, though.

[Brady]

She.

[John Holmberg]

She took her hair t. Put this around it and give me everything you got. Okay. I put my dick in a box of Uncle Ben's. You think that's gonna work? That's what you got. Put it in me, John.

[Brady]

You know, Brady's just compensating because there's a huge boar's head meat recall.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. Sorry about that. I didn't know you're going through that.

[Brady]

Sad day.

[John Holmberg]

So he's starting to turn into other people. There's nothing weirder. I don't remember what hole it was, but I just. What's the deal with all the people? What are you doing? It's my Maniscalco. Don't. It's little Maniscalco. What are you, Hanna Barbera? Quit it.

[Brady]

I got a couple of quick braider videos.

[John Holmberg]

You were Maniscalco. And I'll do the little one and we'll do Maniscalco and son. Sit there with all these people. Yeah, there, man. What's the deal with the people? Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com. a guy I know is going through a divorce, which stinks for him. He's trying to figure out how much it's going to take to pay off the future ex wife. You got bills you want to consolidate. You got some stuff you want to take care of of. Go ahead and do it. Or if you're just really good with money and you want to get out of that mortgage as fast as possible, Life Changer Loan is the way to do it. Average Customer saves about 250,000 in interest. House is paid off in about five years. Life changer Loan. It's not magic. It's just math. Lifechangerloan.com this is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. It's still over 110 degrees outside and the political climate is just as hot. If you've lost your right to possess a firearm due to a criminal conviction, we can help at Restore My Civil Rights. We help Arizonans restore all of their rights because constitutional rights shouldn't depend on the next election results to book a free consultation. Call 855- GUN RIGHTS or visit restoremycivilrights.com today. That's restoremycivilrights.com it's John Holberg and Brett Vesley from the morning sickness coming at you. For our pals at Action Ride Shop, it's summertime. But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the outdoors here in Arizona. You just have to be smart about it. That's a fact, Bert. Action Ride Shop is step one in the smart department. They' got awesome deals on all their e bikes right now. They also have specials on their mountain bikes and neighborhood commuters. And just because it's hot out doesn't mean you can't grab a light and ride the glorious Arizona trails. With an awesome setup from outbound lighting and night rider. Get to Action Ride shop on the 60 and Gilbert or their new location on McDowell and Power. Actionrideshop.com the best of Homework's Morning Sickness. I'm Maddie Akupd another thing I saw that is like just against the I'm done being in on this whole thing. Happy Meals in McDonald's are changing their names to just the meals for you know why? Brad? Oh, and they're also getting rid of one of the characters in a Happy Meal is called Smiles. I think it's just in the UK right now.

[Brady]

It is in the uk.

[John Holmberg]

They're booting them because it's mental health Month. Sometimes kids aren't happy, so why remind them that they could be? So you get rid of the word.

[Brady]

They redesigned the Happy Meal box to.

[John Holmberg]

Just be kind of smile on it. Yeah, they got rid of the smile. And the reason why is because a bunch of kids feel pressure to be happy. What? Yeah, there's too much pressure on being happy. It's better to just not. Let's just not even bring up they're making happy a bad word. Happy Meal makes kids sad.

[Brady]

They'll be collectibles.

[John Holmberg]

Let me tell you this.

[Brady]

You got the different.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they got little mouths. They got the happy smile and they then you got the one that's kind of like meh and then another one that's disgruntled. And that one I think he's angry. This one I think I don't know. And then he's just sad. So the new get a pissed off emi or meal. Yeah, you get pissed off Happy Meals. You get I'm pissed meal. I'll tell you this right now as a kid, but I think this is.

[Brady]

The general one to see the tagline at the bottom of the box there.

[John Holmberg]

It's okay not to feel happy all of the time. Okay? That was the point of a Happy Meal. The Happy Meal was when my kids acting like an asshole. And I got no other options here. If I go to that drive through and get him a Happy Meal, everybody's happy because it changes the tone of it all. When my kid's sad or miserable or crying or screaming in the backseat and I go to McDonald's and they're like, would you like the meal to be extra sad today? Or, like, remind your kid that things are bad? The whole point of the Happy Meal was things aren't so great, but there's always happiness in this little box. And now they're basically saying, well, mental health has affected that small cheeseburger, apple piece, Yogurt.

[Brady]

In the UK, a recent study found that 48% of kids feel pressured to be happy all the time.

[John Holmberg]

We all do because they're eating a goddamn Happy Meal. You get a Happy Meal, the pressure's off. It's awesome. Happy Meals are awesome. That was the best part of my day. If my mom had that. That stupid box brought great joy to me. If it was frowning at me as my mom brought it to me. I got you a meal to match your mood. Mood. I'm feeling pretty down, mom. Here's a down meal. Ah, Just a reminder. Smile. Eat it. Nothing can change you. That's what the Happy Meal was designed to do. Change your mood from sad to happy. Oh, it's a Happy Meal. It's basically a little box of things aren't that bad.

[Brady]

And some parents, you know, feel like a minute. That Happy Meal is a drug because your kid just want it and they throw a temper tantrum. They can't have it. Teaching moment.

[John Holmberg]

But what happens when they're sad and you get them a Happy Meal? It reminds them things aren't so bad. Yes, you're all right. Look, look. It changed your tone. It's like me. If you give me money if I'm sad and you hand me 20 bucks, I'm like, yeah, thanks. I'll smile. It brings a smile. That. That was the whole point of the Happy Meal now. It's supposed to, you know, coddle your emotions. It's a goddamn Happy Meal. If you can't get happy from a free little box of food, nothing's gonna change you. You're. You're a miserable pile of garbage.

[Brady]

Maybe they'll replace the little toys and.

[John Holmberg]

Prizes in there with riddler. No toys riddling. Tiny little handgun. A noose yeah. Here's your saddest suicide meal.

[Brady]

Here's a razor blade on the back panel. You can play hangman.

[John Holmberg]

Right? Right. And it always spells out your name. What's the matter, Billy? Not enjoying your depressed meal? Yeah, it really kind of matched my mood. I felt like garbage. And you know what? I opened it up, my sandwich had a bite out of it. Yeah, because that's what a depressed meal would do if your Happy Meal was, like, half the fries. They forgot the apple pie part. I know. They have to give you apples now instead because there's health involved. McDonald's should have never started that garbage here. So you don't get the normal. You get an option of, like, healthy apples or, like, a yogurt, because somehow.

[Brady]

Or another, take some of the joy out of it.

[John Holmberg]

Somehow it was McDonald's fault. People got fat, and then they backed down and made salads and, like, apples, but they can. You can dip the apples in caramel, which is like, I'm still kind of bad for you. Happy Meal, great. Make my kid a pussy. Yeah, exactly. Would a pizza place deliver your. What mood are you in? I'm not feeling too great. All right, well, we'll be sure to include a bunch of sad things in your order, like why I'm ordering a pizza because I'm sad. I eat when I'm sad, and it makes me feel better. Don't make the pizza sad.

[Brady]

What's with the gray box?

[John Holmberg]

Box is gray. It's wet. Open it up. All the pepperonis are an upside down sm. Oh, yeah, man, I forgot. I'm eating because I'm sad. I don't want my food to make me sad. When at that I'd go to Arby's. Beef. I like Arby's. Just looks weird. We all know why. Got a strange kind of vibe. But, yeah, don't make the happy. You know, McDonald's buckle. Don't American. McDonald's don't buckle. That's all I ask. Coddling to a child's emotions through. If your kid can't get happy with a Happy Meal, your kid is. It's. It's over. It's too far gone. Put it in the little fire department drawer and let's start over with a happy Happy Meals. Don't make me happy. I'm miserable. Stop. Quit crying or I'll give you something to cry about. That was the old sentence. That's not good for his mental health. Worked for me. It made me realize you got to overcome some stuff. If I'm feeling Sad and my McDonald's people are like, yep, put that in cement, you're sad, and here's some more sad stuff to pile onto it. I'm gonna stay sad bad. It's all right to not be happy all the time. No, it's not. That sounds awesome. That should be the goal. And you're not going to achieve it, but boy, that would be great to be happy all the time. Think about how many people eat when they're sad cuz it makes them feel good. And now the food's coming at you with sad messages like, you're like a fortune cookie to told you they said you're fat. Oh, yeah, you're fat and you're never gonna lose this weight. Fortune cookie's supposed to give me hope. Well, we're realistic fortune cookies. Now I realize that the mental health month, a lot of it's gonna be, you know, suicide is an option. Thanks, fortune cookie. It's not the best one, but it's out there. So think about it.

[Brady]

That's playing inside all McDonald's now.

[John Holmberg]

Suicide is painless. I'll have a number three, a large Coke Zero. What? What's going on in here? Why is Blue Oyster Cult always on? Oh, it's Mental Health Month and we're really focused on the bad parts. Isn't happiness part of mental health too? Isn't that in the spectrum of mental health?

[Brady]

Get rid of it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they got rid of the good one. I thought mental health is like, like the spectrum of mental health is sadness, depression, all that stuff. And then also like happiness and being okay. Am I wrong?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

So why delete that series?

[Brady]

They didn't. They have it on there. But what if someone wanted the depressed one and they got the smiley box, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then accidentally get the but you call Sue. Hey, I was upset and you gave me the happy one and it's pissed me off. I'm like, well, you're just unstable, that's what you are. Mental Health Month, man. Somebody will sue. Probably right? I went in there. I mean, what do you have to take a little test? All right, well, I'll take a one of those meals. What would you like the box to look like, sir? I don't know. I guess I'm feeling a little bit indifferent. All right, one indifferent meal and what else they give you? The smiley one. I told you I was indifferent different. Oh, sorry about that, sir. Now my old days ruined. Give me a my day is ruined meal.

[Brady]

Then the toys inside are like a medical jug with Tic Tacs in it.

[John Holmberg]

I Got my pills. There's a whole bunch of them, too. Don't mix the reds and the reds. Just one at a time. Take a yellow with the record. Not a red and a red. It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. And I always thought that happiness was part of the. Of mental health. But we've deleted all the good stuff. When your mental health is good, it doesn't count as mental health. It only counts if you're feeling like crap. That's it. I think the goal is happiness, isn't it? The more things that tell you to be happy, that's a good thing. And yeah, there's pressure to be happy. It's tough.

[Brady]

And the point of. Look, you can't be. Can't be happy all the time. You're going to throw right the gamut.

[John Holmberg]

Of emotion and you have to figure out a way out of it. You got to figure out a way out of it. And guess what? Guess what? Nobody ever tells you when you're happy. You got to find a way out of this.

[Brady]

Quit being happy.

[John Holmberg]

It's a goddamn happy. It's. You can't. That's the goal. The goal is to be happy. And it's. You're going to have hiccups. Nobody ever tells you that. You got to stop being happy. You got to. You got to have some downtime here. You got to be depressed. No, I don't. I'm feeling great right now. Things are cooking right along. This is a good time. That doesn't count as mental health. Mental health only counts when you're moping around and thinking about hanging yourself. That's when we count. All right? Because that's the most extreme part of it. The whole point of being sad. Dig yourself out of it. To get happy, where you try to stay as long as you can until something screws with you and then you end up getting. And you have to start over again. That's the way life works Now. I gotta go to McDonald's. I gotta order one of these. What's in a sad meal? Roaches. Oh, Jesus. You imagine walking in, walking in there, and this song's playing for you. I'll have the. I think you both know what I want. You need a sad meal, sir. Yeah. Would you like that with or without the food? What do you mean? A lot of times we just give you an empty box because that's how you feel. Yeah. I'm gonna take that box home and I'm gonna. The box. Here's your rope, sir. Also the sad meal. Is $10 more expensive than a regular one? Because why wouldn't we pile on.

[Brady]

Ronald has a frown now in his mate Ronald.

[John Holmberg]

Ronald the sad crying clowns outside inside Hamburglars out there just taking care of the fry girls. It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Happy Meals are designed to make annoying kids feel better for a little bit. Even if it's for a little bit. Not everybody's happy. And there's a lot of pressure to be that way. Yep. And it's to make them shut up too. And shut up. It's a shut up meal. Right? Call it a shut up meal. Right. Call it my last resort. Shut the F up meal. You're driving me nuts Meal before I give you five. Yeah, I'm trying not to hit you, Neal. I know it's frowned upon for me to beat you, so if I give you this, will you shut up? Give me. You know who's really unhappy is the parents. God damn kids driving me nuts. If I give you a Happy Meal and $5, will you stop every time they stop?

[Brady]

Well, if you keep your kids happy from May 13th through the 19th without having to go to McDonald's, you'll be alright. Then they'll be happy again. Again. 20th?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Cuz mental health. It's only one week. It's only the mental health thing. So once it's over, we're back to, you know, not caring about your kids health.

[Brady]

It's going to be a tough week.

[John Holmberg]

Right? Somehow or another, this is going to change the world. But starting May 23rd, we're back at it. Your little depressed kid can suck my. He's going to eat the Happy Meal or he's done. Sad little kid who's got a lot of mental problems. That's your fault. Quit telling him he's sad all the time. Gotta see somebody. Cheer up, buddy. That's all you have to say? This sucks. I'm unhappy. All right, well what's it gonna take to make you happy? Because this is annoying. McDonald's. I'm hating it. Oh, wow, that's a good idea. Let's just prey on the sad. Yeah, if you can't get happy from a free meal from your parents, that's got a little toy. A sad meal would be vegan. I agree with that. That's how you make me really embrace my mental status. Would you like an impossible burger? Oh, life is impossible. You're right. I want one of those. It tastes like beans and socks. It just looks like meat. I tried that again. Those impossible burgers I had another one. Somehow they've gotten worse. Worse. I think mass production of them's made them worse. They're not getting better. And I'm all for, like, not slaughtering cows and stuff like that and causing all the methane and the. It's gross. But I love meat so much that I'm. I'm willing to forgive the full on destructive nature of getting the meat. I just don't need to see how it happens. If you could grow plants that taste like meat, get rid of the whole cow slaughter thing, I'm all in. Vegans, you have not come close yet. That stuff's gross. It tastes like beets and dirt. And the worst part is it fools you. Imagine that. It's like impossible. Burger is like if you had a girl and you meet her at a bar and you get her pants off and the thing looks amazing, that's the perfect looking girl. Peach. It's the best thing I've ever seen. And when you get down there, like a wiener pops out. Oh, you fooled me. I thought you were something else. This is. You're trans meat. This guy said, my dad needed to change my mind. I didn't get a happy meal. I got a slappy meal. Considered it a knuckle sandwich and five fingers across my mouth. Every one of your kids is a pussy. Again. This dude has the best name of all of our listeners. Rebel Hollingsworth. I can tell you right now, your parents named you Rebel Hollingsworth. You were gonna be. You were gonna be tough. Nobody names their kids Rebel Hollingsworth and then goes, are you feeling a little upset today, Rebel? No. Rebel Hollingsworth won't bow down to sadness.

[Brady]

Never had a problem falling asleep when I was little.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Good night, Rebel. You're a little. A little bouncy for 9pm, rebel. Looks like we're gonna have to take care of that for you. Hey, Rebel. Sleeping? Everything's good. He'll wake up in a couple hours and wonder what happens. It's just. It's ridiculous that we coddle sadness. And I understand it. I've been through the panic attacks. I've had that whole thing go down. I know what it's like to have, like, breakdowns. You know what my goal was? Get out of this. Be, you know, be different than this. Don't let this win. And you can get out and you can get out of it. And you have to sit back and go, I can't get myself in these situations where I put so much pressure on me that I feel like everything's weighing on me, and I know that it's a real thing. But McDonald's meals aren't gonna save you. You gotta do. It's all you. Everything about it is you setting your mind straight. And I know the mental health thing, and there's a lot of depression, and it's very real, but you can't embrace it. That's the problem. Once you start getting into it, going, this is it. This is as good as it gets. You have lost to it. Holmberg's morning sickness. Donovan says, good for McDonald's. Replacing the happy Meals. Like when Apple remove the gun emoji and put a squirt gun in there. Yeah, it stopped gun violence. The Washington Wizards, yeah, they used to be the Washington Bullets, but they looked around and said everyone in Washington, D.C. is shooting each other with the highest crime rate in America. You don't suppose it's because the NBA team is named Bullets, do you? Of course they changed the name. And they haven't had a murder since. The Wizards. They just have a lot of magic in the street sorcery. Way too many crystal balls now, but at least it's not murder. You go into the inner cities of D.C. want me read your fortune, player? I'm not a wizard. Washington is the place that thinks that everything can be cured if you just change your sports team's name.

[Brady]

I got Pteroc cards, Pirots.

[John Holmberg]

That into just. Oh, you got the Biggie card. You're gonna get shot. Not here in D.C. though, so I'd hang around here. Ain't no violence in D.C. now because, well, you. We got a team called the Wizards.

[Brady]

Thanks for the reading. What do I owe?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, just entertain me your wallet. Inner city brothers dressed like Gandalf, walking around going, I have been influenced. Used to love shooting people, but then they changed the name of the team and now I believe in sorcery. And I am a conjurer of spirit, spirits and such. That's great work, Lamont. Nice robe. I like all the moons and stars. It has quite an effect.

[Brady]

Is that a Gucci robe?

[John Holmberg]

It is. Oh, a Louis Vuitton. Yeah. But these are stars. And the LVs all make stars, you know, it's the. I like, you know, sharp. That's a lot of wizards. A lot of. That's going to become a racial slur in D.C. i don't go down there. There's too many wizards.

[Brady]

My crunk cup is now a chalice.

[John Holmberg]

Drinking the blood of the youth to stay alive for longer. Uh oh, A lot of Wizards around here. It's getting a little wizardy. Out of the way. Wizard. DC idiots. We think we're doing stuff. It's Pat's on the back. It's corporate patting themselves on the back. We change the meals to be sad like your kids. Like that's dumb. You're being dumb. At least it's only in the UK. American McDonald's is still goddamn American. Kids get happy from the meal because we say so. Happy and fat. That's the way. Fat McDonald's Happy Meal. Your kid needs. Put a little meat on his bones. Smile on his face. Knock it off. Play with the little duck. They used to give us like glasses. They trusted us as kids. Oh yeah, glassware. That was a gift. Here, four year old, there's a glass. Awesome.

[Brady]

Awesome.

[John Holmberg]

That was the best thing I ever got. Collect all eight. I'll be back tomorrow. And just eight of stupid stuff. That girl duck clown, remember that one?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She ran around. Yeah, the girl duck clown. I have a glass with her on it. I had Grimace, I had Insane Scary. I had that. I had Ronald, I had the burglar, I had the mayor. I had all the of them. Mayor Mc Cheese, Mayor Mc Cheese. I had every one. You go back and get one, you get a, you get a. You got glassware. In the 70s, 80s and early 90s, a lot of families, you know, cuz there wasn't a Bed Bath and Beyond then had full cabinets and that's what you drank out of.

[Brady]

We still have the series, the, the Pepsi Looney Tunes from. I think there's burger.

[John Holmberg]

That was great. But your glassware only came out for. Com company the family dinners at my house were most of the time like cornet and the McDonald's glasses like super Bowl. We lived in West Virginia, which is in Morgantown's an hour south of Pittsburgh. And when they were winning in 78, 79, the Super Bowls commemorative glasses. Collect all four Steelers, you know, Super bowl nine, 10.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know, 12, 13, you get those. And then you'd get them all. And then they did one big one of all four Super Bowls bowls. We had all of them. And I swear to God, if you see a picture of my family eating dinner, nice dinner. All of us have a glass with some sort of emblazoned Steeler on there or, or the, the duck clown thing. All of our, all of our glasses came from McDonald's and they would give it to you and put a little cap and a straw on it and you got your first soda in the glass. My hands weren't even Big enough to hold.

[Brady]

It was the duck clown thing for chicken nuggets.

[John Holmberg]

I think she showed up for nuggets like she. Yeah, she was some sort of science experiment that laid nuggets. But it was a better time. Yeah.

[Brady]

When you're drinking out a Yosemite Sam around the dinner table, there's a little bit of.

[John Holmberg]

We had a lot of. We did get those too. Now that I think about. I had a Sylvester the cat. Yep. The better time. Now your kids can't even have a Happy Meal. Tell me that wouldn't make them happier. Here's a glass with your favorite cartoon character on it. Like a kid can't get happy from that. Put them in the drawer. It's a fire department's problem now. Who's the Big Mac Cops name? Oh, the cop. That's a great question. Officer Mac, I think. Was it? That's a good question. Because there were the little fry people.

[Brady]

Fry guys.

[John Holmberg]

The fry guys. They have a name too, I think. Yeah. And then there's the. The duck clown thing. I think you're right. I think. Oh, Officer Big Mac. Okay. It's Officer Mac. Yeah, Big Mac. And then the duck clown thinks like a chicken. Like, you're right. I think that's a nugget layer. She lays nuggets, falls right out of her ass, puts them in the box. Dip it in some honey mustard. And you're.

[Brady]

You're nuggets are. Yeah, the breakfast for the.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, eggs. She makes eggs too? That's right. It all falls out of her body. All out of her body and right in that little stuff. Styrofoam box. The Hamburglar. He was a local psychopath that stole people's food. Anyway. American McDonald's keeping you fat and happy. That's what I like to hear. Start letting kids chuck glasses at each other and whatever. There has to be a news story somewhere around 1986 where they're like, McDonald's can't give away glasses anymore because it just stopped it. Like somebody must have killed a kid with one of those glasses because that's the. Well, yes.

[Brady]

You can find the same joy from 10 cent plastic toy.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. Yeah. It costs.

[Brady]

Flashwear's gotta be.

[John Holmberg]

But they still charged you. It wasn't free. They. You had to buy the commemorative drink. And it was like $3 for that.

[Brady]

Yeah, there was an ad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brady]

So that was.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway. And it was worth it to your parents to shut you the hell. Oh was the best. I got that Mean Joe Green one. And it was. It's Regional. It was even better because it was just regional. They weren't selling those things in California or the only people in the area around the Steelers were getting that cool stuff. What's the duck's name? Birdie.

[Brady]

There she is.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Birdie, the early bird. Oh, yeah. She's for breakfast. Yeah, she's laying eggs on your plate. Just a big bloated fat. Wow.

[Brady]

How long did.

[John Holmberg]

What was the professor there for? I don't remember him.

[Brady]

That had been one or two. I mean, I remember him, but like, he's scaring kids.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He looks like the guy that. That steals Sonic the Hedgehog stuff. Yeah.

[Brady]

And then we had fried kids.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I didn't know anything about those. That's. That's.

[Brady]

There's the half Captain crook.

[John Holmberg]

I don't remember any of that. They had extra criminals, apparently. Well, and Uncle O. Grimacey. Uncle O. Grimacey is the. Is the green drunken uncle that showed up. Hey, Grimace, I made the shakes green again. That everything up, Uncle Mc Grimace. I support the ira. All right, all right, all right, Grimace, back in the box. Anyway, what are you going to do? Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.

[Brady]

88, can you.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here for turfmonstersaz.com if that yard of yours doesn't look great all of the time, if it is work all of the time, it does not have to be. Turf Monsters can come to your house and make your yard a beautiful showcase place for you, your family, your pets. Yeah, it's pet friendly as well. Anything you can dream up in that backyard, they can do. Tell them Homburg sent you. Get 10% off off turf monsters a.com Shane Gillis live on stage. My mom asked me. She's like, when did we stop being best friends? His biggest tour ever is coming to Phoenix. You remember that when you were a little boy and you like, you loved your mom and you thought she was the cool. You remember when you were gay? Every little boy is just their mom's gay best friend. There's literally zero difference. Seeing Shane Gillis with his unmistakable comedic style live at PHX Arena, Friday, December 5th. Get tickets [e-mail] need wood? Call Oliver Star with 84 Lumber. Price match guarantee. Oliver is an expert in the lumber industry. Call 480-236-5578 or Oliver Starr s t a r r lumber.com Putting the fu back in funny Homburg's morning sickness. 98 KU MMPD this segment brought to you guys by MMP Guns on 12th street in Indian School. Inside a mo money pond. Now, MMP Guns is your firearms expert. Whether you look for a new firearm for yourself, for your girlfriend, your wife, you want to build one, you need accessories. You need ammo. If they don't got it, they'll get it. It's MMP Guns over on 12th street in Indian School. Check them out online at mmpguns.com Dear Brady, when people have you over to their house, isn't it assumed that the food in the fridge is for you to eat? This is a tough one for you.

[Brady]

What?

[John Holmberg]

I. Yeah, I stayed at a friend's house, and I made myself at home because they said, make yourself at home, and I ate and drank accordingly. That's it. At the end of the week, they asked me for a hundred dollars to cover the food and drink. It was my friend's wife that asked me, and it was awkward, so I said, I'll venmo. You sure? I have not done that yet. I also haven't talked to them since. What would Brady do? I've been friends with him for 17 years. Chris.

[Brady]

He house watching?

[John Holmberg]

No, he's just in their house as a guest.

[Brady]

Everyone has different setup, but for the most part, like, if I'm inviting someone over to the house and I say, help yourself, there's not. I'm not.

[John Holmberg]

He abused.

[Brady]

Abused it. And that's why. Okay. You find out that one time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I mean, you always. You're not gonna have 100% worth of food, though, man.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you, if he's drinking all.

[Brady]

Their alcohol, that's not hard to do right now.

[John Holmberg]

Brady can knock out a hundred dollars of food a day. Brady came over and he only charged 100 bucks. Consider yourself lucky.

[Brady]

Food prices. I'm sorry. I forgot who I was.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's gonna open and close that fridge door so often, you're need a new fridge.

[Brady]

No, regardless. I mean, like, if someone is taking advantage of it, which happens.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Last time, they're over. I'm thinking I. I learned from that lesson, like, all right, this guy's.

[John Holmberg]

Here's what I think happened. You probably went to dinner, you alligator. Armed your way through the entire week. You were there for a week. First off, the old saying, fish and house guests are the same after three days. They stink. So you stayed a week. You out. You way outstayed your welcome. Nobody wants a stranger, weirdo, friend, or anybody who doesn't pay the bills to be in their house for longer than two days max. That's even a lot. And that's too much. The other thing is, if you're starting to guzzle all their alcohol and put it back and there's a couple of missing bottles of vodka, you took advantage. You can have some food and stuff. My guess is you went to dinner at a restaurant because that's what you do when you have people in or they ordered in. You never kicked in. And the wife was laying in bed next to her husband going, he's an asshole. I'm charging. Don't do it. As my friend. No, this is bs. He's acting like a dick. He's eating. You seen how much alcohol he's had? I'm asking him for 100 bucks. You can't get away with this. Because if you didn't offer to pay for any meals and he didn't offer to, you know, kick in for the alcohol you stole, I understand why the lady was like. And basically what she's saying is, don't ever ask to come back here. I don't really care if there's a hundred bucks in this or not. You just letting you know, this is what we thought of your video. But that's just common sense. You're supposed to kick in, like, if. If you. If you offer to take me to a ball game or something, I'm buying beers. I told Aaron Brady and I were staying at Eric's place up in Pinetop this weekend, and he reached for his wallet to pay for drinks at the golf club. Like, you reach for that thing again this weekend, I'll kill you. So you're not paying for one thing. Brady got dinner when it got breakfast stuff. I paid for the drinks and lunch stuff and all that. He did. And occasionally he'd sneak off and get drinks, and I didn't know. And I'm like, damn it. He put it on his thing. But for the most part, the offer was, I got to be a good, generous guest. And I'm, like you said, a son's game. Yeah, I take you to a son's game. If you don't buy all the food and drinks, you're a dick. Right.

[Brady]

At least offer. Always offer.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady]

No matter what.

[John Holmberg]

Not even offer. But, you know, situations, you. You just say, if you. You're not paying for this. Yeah, I'll cancel the order before your card comes out of your wallet.

[Brady]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's. It's more than an offer. It is a. Make sure you pay.

[Brady]

But there's, you know. And a thank you goes a long way, too, after.

[John Holmberg]

But you pay for everything. A Good guest should know that in a week. Yeah. No good. No guest ever lets the homeowner, the ticket guy, ever pay for anything. You get it. That's your job. For the free ticket, for the free place to stay and everything else. And when somebody says, make yourself at home, you still ask. You still say, are we good with water? Can I grab that? You guys want to drink, you don't start offering their alcohol around, or you bring a housewarming gift of loads of alcohol, and you can tap into that. This dude. You were a bad guest, Christopher. No matter if you pay that hundred or not, they see you as a cheap person. And that's the worst thing you can be as a friend.

[Brady]

Don't expect the invites. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It'll be the last time. Yeah. You're done with them as a couple. I guarantee you the wife isn't going anywhere with you anymore. Because every drive home and all night at pillow talk, he hasn't even reached for his wallet. He doesn't even. He hasn't said a thing. He expects this to be all free. Well, I'm gonna hit him over the head with a fee. And maybe she's wrong, but she was just announcing how they feel about her. At least how she'd. She's not wrong. No, she's not. That's a good thing. Dear Brady, it's from a girl. I'm dating a black man, and I like him so much. When we first met, I thought he was the most attractive person I've ever seen because he is beautiful and wonderful. We finally got to the point where we were naked together, and I was upset because it's just there. I've told people it's smart. It's not small, but it wasn't what I expected. It's about the same size as my white Hispanic ex husband. So the stereotype of him having a huge one appealed to me, but since he doesn't, I can't help but think I'm not getting what I should be getting. And yes, size matters. It's different for all sizes, for all women, but it does matter. Don't let women tell you different. And I was looking Forward to about 8 inches, and this is about 6, and it's not that thick. Am I a bigot? What would Brady do? Erica?

[Brady]

Slightly. Just slightly. You're disappointed, but I'm thinking you're a little man. Six inches. Huge. Come on.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty good. That's a pretty good one. Here's the other thing.

[Brady]

No, but the eight. And yes, you.

[John Holmberg]

You're.

[Brady]

Is It, I guess it would be bigotry expecting, you're saying because it's a.

[John Holmberg]

Lack, it's a stereotype.

[Brady]

Stereotype.

[John Holmberg]

You did have expectations. You expected them. Like it would be like if I was in a foot race with your new boyfriend and beat him, everybody'd be like, what's he doing? What's wrong with him? Like, like DeAndre and Luca. It's DeAndre and Luca. That's exactly. A doughy 19 year old European boy is better than DeAndre Ayton at basketball. I lose that bet every time. But your expectations got ahead of you there. Now let's turn this on its head. You need to be nice to this brother because it's not his fault that you wanted an eight incher and he's carrying six and he's, you know, you're the one that's mentally not involved in this. And by the way, ladies makeup, push up bras, spanks, Spanx.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Everything you do is to fool us. And so when you're naked, the expectations, filters, everything's so different than what you deliver. So let this dude have a 2 inches off special and let him know that he's a good person because if we did this to you guys, and we do, it would be a lot of tears flowing down a lot of faces when you're like, well, you're not what I expected when you took your Spanx off and your Pringles tummy fell out. What am I supposed. I love that. That's a great, great phrase that guy invented last week. But you got Pringles tummy and you've been hiding that under Spanx and you're pulling up tights to your boobs and then your boobs are pushed up to your shoulders and when they come out they flop down under your arms. There's a lot of that going on. Like it's like dating a Mexican girl. I'm like, wait a minute, you're not pregnant? I mean, come on.

[Brady]

I think that would all go away. This connection with her, if there was really a connection, a chemistry.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I think she got that card ahead of the horse.

[Brady]

Start nitpicking.

[John Holmberg]

She just wants to get wrecked. Yeah, she wants to get.

[Brady]

Sounds like it. So. And Bridgerton, don't torture this guy.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Bridgerton's bringing white pee pee to the game and it's disappointed you and you are a bigot for that. That. But you're just a jerk otherwise. Take what you want. If that's what that's all you're after, then yeah, you want. You want a biggin? Go after Lex Steele. That's right. They're out there. But just let them know if you're not packing more than. I'm a size queen. Gays do it all the time. They tell other guys I'm a size queen. Are you like. Oh really? Oh yeah. I've been to parties, my neighbor's party. I've heard the word size queen a few times. It's a real break.

[Brady]

Break up with him and you know what? Reach out to our president. President John.

[John Holmberg]

President John will do it. Get some solar and take an eight incher from President John and Maryvale probably get stabbed. He's already said thank you for the little pops. For his business. Dear Brady, my wife has made two babies with me and one preemie. Not preemie baby, you know what I mean? Before me. So she's 38 now and is asking me if she can spend 35,000 hard earned dollars on new boobs. And her tummy surgery, she's taking. She's gaming the system because she's saying it would be for me, but I'm not a. She's only doing it for herself. Her stomach looks like it's made out of Pringles. Wow. We all know what that means. It's the same texture and look as Pringles because babies wreck the skin completely. So do I make her earn that and put it in an account and then match Ratchet at a certain number for her vanity project? That's quote for me. I'm also quite tired of her bull. This is also a guy named Trent. Two Trents. Does he pay for boobs and a tummy? Because she says she's gonna do it for him.

[Brady]

I'm all for a partnership on that deal. I want them vested in it just as much as you. You know that's part of.

[John Holmberg]

But it's our money, right? Well then kick in half at least. Yeah, because I can't just go out and buy myself.

[Brady]

I'm going to get. You know. I'm buying a. A bass boat, right, for you.

[John Holmberg]

Right, right. A $35,000 purchase on my end for you. You're not saying yes to that? No.

[Brady]

Woman, you're going to really enjoy riding in this boat.

[John Holmberg]

Ladies only idiots fall for the. I'm doing it for you. The only reason you get cans or tummy tucks or whatever so you feel better about yourself and in turn then I'll feel better with you. Nope, none of that has anything to do with us at all. You do Brazilian Butts and all that stuff is. So you look in the mirror and go, I look hot. The only way a guy gets laid by a girl is if she feels okay about herself.

[Brady]

Yep. And recognized by others.

[John Holmberg]

Women. Exactly. Especially other women. And if you've got Pringles tummy. Pringles tummy's hilarious. Think how good she'll look on that bass boat. Yep. Then get her out on your tracker and get that top off and show the world your $30,000 investment. Or Trent. Second. Trent, tell her you'll pay for it and put a set of rules together with a lawyer that says, here's my return on investment. Then if in fact, this is for me, I get access to it 24 hours a day, seven days a week without anybody saying no or you owe a fee. That's ridiculous. Well, then it's not for me, because that's what I would do. Spending $35,000 on anything else. I would have access to it all the time. I'm taking the boat out. I don't want you to take the boat out. Well, here's the paperwork says that I can. So unless she wants to have partial ownership in that you as the financier. Just like a bank can repossess them at any time you ask. And that Pringles tummy. Yeah. You should be all for that. Now, saying you're tired of her BS, that's a different animal. Because that basically means 35 grand and we might not make it through the next weekend. Yeah, I wouldn't do it then. I wouldn't do it. No, don't buy them for some other dude. No, don't get Pringles tummy removed for some other girl. Start feeding her more Pringles. But every guy will be like, well, I'll give visitation on him if we split up. Shut up, dude. That never works. Such an idiot. Yeah. Enjoy the taste of another guy's yummy. Yeah, because that's all over your visitation rights every time you lick one of those mounds that you paid for. True, dude. My wife. My ex wife and I worked it out. No, no, you. You're licking the salt of another man. Yep. And if you're fine with that, go get him. But, yeah, the two things you don't do, and you're, like, not quite there. Pay for her college. I want to go back to college. All right, I'll kick in for that. You're going to be an earner. She's separating from you slowly, and you're just paying the. You're paying her route out the door. I'm going back to asu. I want to become a team teacher. Oh, what the hell. Okay. I can make almost $16. Yeah, maybe teacher was a bad example. May get a business degree and do something with it. All right. God damn it. And you think that's ambition and it's all for the benefit of you. Now she's just setting up when she's gonna leave so she can have a better job.

[Brady]

That happened to a friend of mine.

[John Holmberg]

I know four guys school, and she.

[Brady]

Went to law school.

[John Holmberg]

She gone year two.

[Brady]

It's like, I don't think this is working out. I like the halfback from Notre Dame better than you do.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. At least it was the halfback. Yeah, instead of the hunchback. I know. I played soccer in high school. I know four guys who have. You know, I sent her to college and she came back a lawyer and well, we got divorced like a year later. Yeah, because she was independent of you.

[Brady]

She was looking for you to pay for her way out.

[John Holmberg]

Our old general sales manager used to get mad. Never pay for their school. Like, what? The second she graduated, like at graduation, she's like, and I'm done with you. Good night. Yeah, good day, sir. And then she moved away. Never once alluded to the idea that there was trouble in paradise. He thought he was being nice. Don't pay for their upgrades physically without an agreement. I don't necessarily agree with the school thing, but I can see where he could be a little bit triggered by that. Yeah, but don't pay for the upgrades unless you get full on removal rights or full access 24. 7. Well, I don't understand why. I'm just not an. I'm not going to be built that way. All right, well, then we're not going to build you, and you're not going to be built.

[Brady]

Yeah, right, Right.

[John Holmberg]

And you're going to have Pringles tummy. Construction is over, by the way, is my favorite description because I can picture exactly what you're talking about. About everybody's been to a hotel pool and seen the lady who's had a couple kids like 20 years ago, who's still stuck with Pringles tummy. Oh, I watched a couple people get in an argument a few days ago when the lady said something about a woman. Oh, it was a Olympics and the bodies are incredible. Wait until she has a couple kids. And the husband said, what I would have said, our kids are 22. And then. And then the guy next to him said, imagine the transformation possible from a child at birth to a 22 year old. That's how much time you had to do something about your complaints. It's not that easy. Maybe not, but you had 22 years. You had some time to work this out. You can't use the kids as an excuse anymore. I gave birth in the 90s. Oh, that was a while ago. You could have fixed that. You had. You had a long time to get that all wrapped up. Man, you still bitching about that I had a club foot in 95. I'm better people with scoliosis standing up straight from the 90s. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect 98 need wood. Oliver with 84 lumber has more planks than a pirate ship and will price match any competitor. Call Oliver at 480-236-5578 or Oliver Starr star s t a r r lumber.com It's John Holmberg here seeing clear as a bell. Thanks to my friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Let the experts at the Schwartz Laser Eye center do that. Book your complimentary consultation with the gang at the Schwartz Laser Eye center and have Dr. Jay Schwartz talk to about the best plan to make it so you don't need contacts or glasses ever again. Great eyesight is something you should not procrastinate getting. And all you have to do is go see the team at the Schwartz Laser Eye center today. Schwartz Laser Eye center. The official eye center of your diamondbacks and sons. Hey everybody, it's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time once again for the pick of the litter brought to you by our [e-mail] this week's pick the litter is a special little guy surrendered by his family because financial woes made it so they just could not give little Manu a great life. A little bit older. It's a bichon poodle mix. Smart as a whip. Check it all out. Lost our home.org or 98kupd.com it's the pick of the litter. All they show with none of the fluff. Let's get started. There's more of the best of homework's morning sickness. It's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] that's the home of tactical black self defense training. Training. Get yourself involved. You're gonna need it too. Because you get up to Vegas with these idiots, you're gonna have scoops to come. The warrior idiots coming at you. We don't know you're drunk and crazy. In fact, Jordan kept trying to say that he could land a punch on me, but he realized how important tactical black was in the pool. Because every time he tried to punch me, he did the worst thing in the world, which was pull his hand back. And I hit him in the face three times for every time he tried to punch me once. And he learned. Wow, that's real. Remember when we were there with Billy?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And we were a little bit drunk and that dude started to fight with that girl, and Billy went over to Captain Savaho and he had a gun I could see clearly imprinting onto his through his shirt. You stumble into nonsense. The world is, you know, it's chock full of it. And why not have some preparation in your life so you know how to defend yourself. And most important importantly, get away from it. That's the best part. They teach you all that? Reactdefense.com Sheepdog Even when you're drunk, you stop being that sheep. It's the home of tactical Black Brady Entertainment.

[Brady]

Jamie.

[John Holmberg]

Ah, shucks. But I got to go. And I didn't. Yeah. To the people that think I'm the genie. And the reason I'm talking about as the lamp turns so much is to get more attention as the genie. You think I'm not getting enough attention the way I'm doing stuff between genie commercials? How scar for attention do I need to be to have an alter ego in a commercial for. That's silly to think I'm that gore, is it? Oh, shucks. Maybe I am the genie. Hey, genie, what do you need? I can't get enough of it. And all these emails I'm answering right now, I can't get enough of it either. Clearly she's sick of them. Like, Yep, we're all feeling it. We're feeling Tasha's pink. This is a useless genie. He's done nothing good at a parking lot full of ducks for a month. Then he slaughtered a million ducks. Yeah, and that's the one thing is like, in the next commercial, Scott Haynes said, wouldn't it be great if she went to, like, Shakespeare in the park and everybody got Covid and she came back to the gym? What's going on there, Tasha? Oh, I was at the park this weekend. Everyone got COVID 19 during the Shakespeare in the Park. It was a bunch of sick thespians. Did you just wish for that? Huh? Here you go. Why are all these fat ladies with short hair here? You said you wanted a room of thick lesbians. Oh, genie. Ah, kill them Sasha, I killed all the lesbians, but there's a couple of them that. That made it. I need you help. What have you done? I've killed again. Tasha. And then the judge.

[Brady]

It's like here. You're cunning linguist.

[John Holmberg]

Hear your cunning linguist. That's just a guy doing a thing to a. Well, you. Oh, shucks. Go back to the Colonel Angus joke.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then in a couple commercials from now, it's like. It is the opinion of this court that you are a monster and have murdered thousands, if not millions of ducks and lesbians. Ah, shucks. You are hereby sentenced to life in the jar. Good. Asap. Doors. It just goes right into the jingle. I need to write some of these anyway. Sorry. Hopefully they're having fun with it too. But you have us addicted to your soap opera. It's crazy.

[Brady]

BABE Ruth's historic 1932 World Series jersey becomes the most valuable sports collectible ever. Guess how much ever?

[John Holmberg]

Jesus. Valuable one ever. It's got to be like. I don't even know what that. Like seven or eight million bucks. I don't know how much the most one was. How much is it?

[Brady]

24.1.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. That's the Jersey 32 was the. Call your shotgun.

[Brady]

Jersey.

[John Holmberg]

32 is the Chicago Cubs call your shot.

[Brady]

Yeah. During game three.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Is that what they're selling or just.

[Brady]

They sold it.

[John Holmberg]

That's the jersey he was wearing where.

[Brady]

He famously gestured the bat. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, well, there you go. Does it say what he pat.

[Brady]

What passed?

[John Holmberg]

What it passed, I guess, like what second place is now? Oh, yeah. Now what is the second thing that's good.

[Brady]

It was like seven million.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what I figured. Somewhere under 10. Right around 10. 10.

[Brady]

It topped Mickey Manel's card, basically 1952 card.

[John Holmberg]

The rookie. How much is that? Seven.

[Brady]

I didn't get a price on that.

[John Holmberg]

Now, the research was done, and I.

[Brady]

Think that was 7 million one time.

[John Holmberg]

See, I think at one time it was 7 million. That doesn't answer. Wagner's card is worth more than that. That's what I thought. Honus Wagner was around 5 or 6.

[Brady]

Ranker.com did a list of the best high school movies of all time.

[John Holmberg]

Move. Oh. Fast times at Ridgemont High. Yeah.

[Brady]

Number American Pie. American Pastimes was number seven. American Pie did not make the top ten for some reason.

[John Holmberg]

Teen Wolf. Is Greece considered a high school movie club? Breakfast Club number one. All right. Good job, Brad.

[Brady]

Back to the future Number two.

[John Holmberg]

I've had high school. Oh, because you get to. It was in under The Sea Dance.

[Brady]

Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Number three.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good one.

[Brady]

Sixteen Candles was number five. After Greece.

[John Holmberg]

Dazed and Confused, Mean Girls. That's a good one.

[Brady]

Basically, fast times 10. Things I hate about you.

[John Holmberg]

That's okay.

[Brady]

Dead Poet Society.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

And clueless was number 10.

[John Holmberg]

Dazed and confused. Not on the list.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Great movie about nothing. It's nothing going on. There's nothing happening. Just high school. Yeah.

[Brady]

Let's do this one.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

Deadpool And Wolverine has 118 F bombs.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady]

A lot. But there's eight movies that has. That have more.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody knows Scarface.

[Brady]

It comes in at number eight.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady]

226.

[John Holmberg]

Wolf of Wall street, number one. Yeah.

[Brady]

Casinos in 569. Casino. 422.

[John Holmberg]

Hangover.

[Brady]

Not in the top eight. Surprised me. 260.

[John Holmberg]

How many Scorsese movies are in the top ten there?

[Brady]

Straight out of Compton. 392.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, damn. There you go.

[Brady]

Casino, I said was 422. Uncut Gems is number two with 560.

[John Holmberg]

Sandler.

[Brady]

Oh, that's right.

[John Holmberg]

Wasn't bad, actually, for Sandler.

[Brady]

Reservoir dogs. 269. And then Pulp Fiction. 265.

[John Holmberg]

Pulp Fiction was in there. All right. How many was Samuel Jackson alone? Oh, yeah. 262. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Well, there you go. That's. That's a good list. I remember for years, Scarface was almost near the top of that. And then everybody's like, watch this. Tons of this set.

[Brady]

Did you mention this?

[John Holmberg]

I.

[Brady]

Sorry, I just was looking. The second most valuable jersey is Jordan's 98 NBA Finals game one jersey sold for 10.1.

[John Holmberg]

Is that the flu one? 98. No, it wasn't. Game one. Oh. I wonder why that one went for so much.

[Brady]

They're calling it the Mona Lisa.

[John Holmberg]

Huh. Next to the Babe Ruth one. Well, the Babe Ruth one is. That's, if that's to call your shot, jersey. That's why. That's $24 million. That's the flu. Shoes get big bucks, too, when they get sold. Huge ones. Yeah. Not that kind of money, but yeah. Think of all the crap you've thrown away that probably has, you know, not that kind of value, but something on it. Oh, my goodness.

[Brady]

This is pretty cool. There's a convoy of 55 Harley Davidson bikers with the bust of Lemmy. They went from the Bloodstock Open Air Festival in Nottingham, England, and wrote it to Lemmy's hometown to spread his ashes and to put the.

[John Holmberg]

It was more than a bust. It was an urn yeah.

[Brady]

Had some of the ashes.

[John Holmberg]

We're still not done spreading lemme around.

[Brady]

I know. That's what I was thinking for a decade.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

It's like put this up.

[John Holmberg]

As many ashes has been out there. It's like Ralphie May size now. Maybe it's just all of his ash tray days. They're still getting rid. They got millions and millions of those.

[Brady]

That's the problem. They got them mixed up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. There's more. Lemme ashes. You forgot this one mate. You gotta spread my ashtrays. That's a great looking bust though. That's the most act. I watched the NFL hall of fame stuff. I never think the bus looks like the guy. Whoever did Lemmy's bust was perfect. That might actually be him.

[Brady]

We got the mole. So Lemmy's ashes are at the Rainbow Bar and Grill.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Hellfast Hellfest in France and one other. Oh the. The town they just went and they.

[John Holmberg]

Gave some to his friends too. They put him in little Bullet Bullet and stuff like that. Yeah, that's right. That means everywhere. Saw this at the punk rock museum when we were in Vegas. He's everywhere and he's nowhere at the same time.

[Brady]

Another rumor about Ben Affleck and JLo's marriage. The reason why reason number two, it might have broken up is she's obsessed with Spotlight.

[John Holmberg]

She needs to be the attention.

[Brady]

She was spotted recently in an adorable dress riding a bike to an ice cream shop called Candy Kitchen in the Hamptons. Hamptons.

[John Holmberg]

Hamptons.

[Brady]

The Hamptons. Sorry. And Whitney Port who's a semi celebrity.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Thanks to her. The hills.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

She said they looked into it. Completely called ahead of time. JLO calls paparazzi.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. That's always what.

[Brady]

A lot of people still don't know that. But she never even went into the place. But she post there she is just posed out front of the ice cream.

[John Holmberg]

She's in a tight skirt, tiny little skirt on a bicycle. Paparazzi's gonna pop by.

[Brady]

Jack Black says Tenacious D will be back. Yep. And take a little break for the news cycle to blow over. Yep. And I'd take a little break, but I love the D. Isolate that. And then Tommy Lee was talking about the story about Ozzy Osbourne when he. Back in the day 1984, when he snorted the line of ants.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Off the plane.

[Brady]

There are some other events that happened after that too. He licked Nikki Six urine off the ground. And then on the way to the hotel room, Ozzy pooped on the elevator. Good night.

[John Holmberg]

We're just now hearing about that the ants was the cell and everything else.

[Brady]

Everyone knew about the unforgettable. Imagine the movie.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I couldn't remember. A lot of that stuff just got forgotten. Forgotten. It was not my fear. It was Nikki six's fear. It tastes like heroin. This is exactly like a bunch of. Yeah, well, that's why I wanted it. It was a secondary high. It's like when Wheaties threw the blow into each other's mouths. Heroin addicts just pissing each other's mouths. Get a little water soluble cocaine also. Brady, take a leak on the ground. I'll show you.

[Brady]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

Smell it. Tastes like the ham tums. Brady can't say Hamptons because when he eats ham, he needs tums. So ham and tums are.

[Brady]

I thought he was combining symptoms.

[John Holmberg]

No, ham tums is ham Tums. Hamptons. That's the old Hamptons Ham tuns. You should be excited about saying that too. Tons of ham. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect, 98 k u p t.