08-25-26 - Entertainment Drill - MIX - 5x - Marcus Emails He Just Found Out His 9mo Baby Isn't His So He Left BO

Summary

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Holmberg’s Morning Sickness - Arizona

August 26, 2025 | Episode Summary

Main Theme

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness features the crew riffing on a wild email about paternity drama, a rundown of the greatest medical TV shows, fresh entertainment gossip, and their signature blend of dark humor and candid takes on pop culture and relationships.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Wild Paternity Email: A Listener Named Marcus Drops a Bombshell

(Starts at 01:48)

• Marcus writes in: He discovered through a DNA test that his 9-month-old son is actually his wife's old college boyfriend’s child.

  • The college ex had been around the friend group for a while, unbeknownst to Marcus that he was more than just a friend.
  • Marcus had suspicions because he was in a leg cast during the time of conception, and sexual activity was limited, making the timing questionable.

• Marcus’s reaction:

  • He broke things off with his wife immediately:

    "Good luck with your bills now, bitch. This gravy train is gone and I know people will think I'm cold hearted but I'm out completely." (03:13, Marcus's email read by Host)

  • Added a dig at DNA tests, usually not liking them, but admits, "in this case, it saved the day."
  • He signs off: "Happy 9/11, Marcus." (Hosts joke about the "Happy 9/11" sign off).

• Hosts Weigh In:

  • Applaud Marcus for catching it early, joking about the lack of emotional attachment to a baby under one year.
  • John Holmberg:

    "He caught it in under a year. Which means the love for the child hadn't kicked in yet. He could walk away. Good for you, Marcus." (04:25)

  • Lively speculation: At what age is it too late to walk away after learning a child isn't yours?
    • Consensus: It's easier the younger the child. Nine months is "walkable." Six years gets complicated.
    • Holmberg:

      "Six years old, you'd kiss the kid, ‘That was fun while it lasted!’” (06:33)

    • Cautions against dating single mothers: "You're gonna fall for the kid too, and when you break up, you gotta dump the whole family." (06:36, Holmberg)

• Signature Dark Humor:

  • "Just kiss the baby on the forehead, tell him goodbye, and tell him your mom’s a whore." (05:32, Holmberg)
  • “Make a little tape for him. ‘You are the baby that grew in her loins... your real father's name is Gavin and he's fat. Poor.’” (05:48, Holmberg)
  • The panel riffs on what age would make it morally difficult to leave: consensus is it gets more painful as the child gets older, but their advice is always delivered with comedic detachment.

2. Entertainment Drill: Top Medical TV Shows of All Time

(Starts at 08:40)

• Entertainment Weekly’s List:
  • Top shows include “ER” (#1), “Grey’s Anatomy” (#3), “St. Elsewhere” (#4), “MAS*H” (#6), “Scrubs” (#5), “Dr. Kildare” (#2), “Nurse Jackie” (#10), and “House” (not top ten, but mentioned).
  • Brief, humorous rundown of why some shows deserve their ranks, reminiscence about classic TV, and shout-outs to DC legends (Denzel, Ed Begley Jr., Howie Mandel).
  • "St. Elsewhere is number four." (08:58, Entertainment contributor)

3. South Park Delays: Writers Burned Out by Political Season

(Starts at 11:07)

• The creators are delaying the next season due to fatigue over U.S. presidential politics.
• Holmberg agrees:

  “That’s kind of how I feel about this... We have to talk about politics sometimes. I don’t want to become political. It’s draining.” (11:55)

• Humor about “crap sandwich vs douche” election choices, and how politics overwhelms pop culture.

4. Diddy Lawsuit: Prisoner Awarded $100 Million Default Judgment

(Starts at 12:36)

• Derek Lee Cardello Smith, a prisoner and serial offender, sued Diddy for alleged sexual assault at a 1997 party.
• Diddy’s lawyers deny knowing the man, claim he committed court fraud from prison.
• Hosts joke darkly about the absurdity of the $100 million figure:

  “100 million for a single rape... 1997, I can go back. I didn’t rape anybody, but I’m sure I owe a few girls, like, eight or nine thousand bucks, if that’s the going rate for an awkward exchange.” (15:00, Holmberg)

• The group finds the late justice claim and huge payout darkly amusing.

5. Chester Bennington’s Son Criticizes Band’s Replacement Singer

(Starts at 16:04)

• Chester’s son unhappy with Linkin Park choosing Emily Armstrong as lead, partially because of her support for Danny Masterson after conviction.
• Holmberg skeptical about the son’s influence:

  “Unfortunately, your dad killed himself and left that band high and dry. You don’t have a say." (16:30, Holmberg)

  • Panel explains “rake” (band royalties) and note: “You want this to be successful, son, because you’re still going to get your rake.” (17:22, co-host)

6. Running Commentary, Side Riffs, and More

• Frequent meta-commentary about the state of pop culture, the saturation of politics in media, and tongue-in-cheek takes on difficult subjects.
• Lively banter about the implications of DNA testing in relationships, the pain of breakups when kids are involved, and the moral gray areas of headline-grabbing lawsuits.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• "He caught it in under a year. Which means the love for the child hadn't kicked in yet."
  (04:25, Holmberg on Marcus walking away from a non-biological child)

• "Just kiss the baby on the forehead, tell him goodbye, and tell him your mom’s a whore."
  (05:32, Holmberg; signature no-holds-barred humor)

• "Six years old, you’d kiss the kid, ‘That was fun while it lasted!’”
  (06:33, Holmberg; on the emotional consequences as children get older)

• "That's kind of how I feel about this... We have to talk about politics sometimes. I don't want to become political. It's draining."
  (11:55, Holmberg agrees with South Park’s Matt Stone)

• “100 million for a single rape... I didn’t rape anybody, but I’m sure I owe a few girls, like, eight or nine thousand bucks, if that’s the going rate for an awkward exchange.”
  (15:00, Holmberg, riffing on absurd lawsuit damages)

• "Unfortunately, your dad killed himself and left that band high and dry. You don’t have a say."
  (16:30, Holmberg on Chester Bennington’s son criticizing Linkin Park)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Paternity Bombshell/Marcus Email: 01:48 – 07:47
• Top Medical TV Shows: 08:40 – 11:00
• South Park Politics Fatigue: 11:07 – 12:36
• Diddy Lawsuit: 12:36 – 16:04
• Chester Bennington’s Son & Band Drama: 16:04 – 17:50

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Overall Tone and Style

• Irreverent, dark humor with unfiltered takes on sensitive personal and public issues.
• Candid camaraderie; panelists lean into sarcasm and blunt honesty, often making light of heavy situations.
• Shows a mix of pop culture commentary, personal advice (with a clear comedic edge), and the latest in entertainment gossip.

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Transcript

[A]

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[C]

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[A]

Let's get started.

[C]

There's more of the best of Homebrew's morning sickness.

[A]

It's time for Brady to entertain us all. It's brought to you by our friends reactdefense.com the home of tactical Black. Which just dawned on me that if I'm going to that game tomorrow, I'm not going to be able to make it in there again tomorrow. Damn it. I've missed the last few times and it's the suckiest part of getting a busy life is trying to find time to get in there and do the thing these guys have. They're at it from 8 in the morning until 10 at night. They're always there. Their schedule is to keep it going. So if you're like me and you're like, jesus, my time. I just realized I'm not gonna be able to make it tomorrow because of this game and all the stuff that I. Well, you know what? Pick another time during the day because they got classes all the time. They've got all sorts of stuff. It's on. It's very convenient, I'll tell you that. They've got everything offered to you. Cardio, they've got self defense, they've got, you know, the bag class is unbelievable. Teach you how to punch, kick maneuver, footwork, all that stuff. You're getting great shape while you do it. And you don't have to have any skills coming in at all. You can be completely like. You could just land here from another planet and say, I've got nothing. I'm a lump of nothing. And you go in there and that starts you. And by the end of that class, you'd be like, okay, I got a little something. What else can I add to this? Every time you go, you will add something to your arsenal. And that's the best part about it. While you're getting in great shape, you'll look good, you'll feel good, you'll be good. Sheepdog. That's what they're looking for. No more sheep. Oh, I never read this. I gotta read this this morning before we forget. Speaking of things for Dave Grohl, before we get to the entertainment drills to say, hey boys. And this is that moment again where airing your dirty laundry is so weird. Last month, guys, I got a DNA test and just found out I'm raising my wife's old college boyfriend's son. Oh, he's one in December. Not even a year old yet. We've been married for six years. This prick's been hanging around the friend group for the last two years. And I had absolutely no idea. But evidently my we said it before. That's why I brought this up. My wife raw dogged the guy and then told me we were preggers. And despite me having little or no sex with her at the time because I was in a leg cast, we did in fact have sex, so it wasn't impossible, but questionable the timing. Anyway, I told her adios last night. Her ex boyfriend is a complete loser. So good luck with your bills now, bitch. This gravy terrain is gone and I know people will think I'm cold hearted but I'm out completely not living the Maury loving lifestyle I'm Devastated. But I now know what I won't do for one more day. Be involved in that disaster. No DNA tests. I usually agree with you and I listen all the time. But in this case, it saved the day. Happy 9 11, Marcus. How about that one? And he caught it in under a year. Which means the love for the child hadn't kicked in yet. He could walk away. Good for you, Marcus. That's great. You abandoned that woman and that child that you thought was yours. You do your life. DNA tested, found out it's his. See ya. And then it begs the question, at what age does the DNA test mean? Well, I still gotta stick around. I love the kid. Mine's 45. If he makes it through 45 years of me as his father, then maybe I'll stick around. Man, that's a tough one. Cuz he's here at. What is it? December's the birthday. So it's 10 months old. Yeah. Or nine. Can't be too attached. You can walk away from. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

If there's a time to not be attached.

[A]

And better still, the baby doesn't know anything yet. Right? Right. So now it's time to disappear from those lives. It's tough.

[B]

Can't believe I'm saying it, but. Pull a full Toledo.

[A]

But it's not even a full Toledo. It's a half Toledo. Because it's not even your kid. Just kiss the baby on the forehead, tell him goodbye, and tell him your mom's a whore. And just whisper. Yeah. Before you leave. Whisper in the baby. Easier. Mama's a.

[E]

Play this. When you turn 18.

[A]

You.

[E]

There you go.

[A]

You are the baby that grew in her loins. That is not of my ilk. Because your mother's a. Your real father's name is Gavin. And he's fat. Poor. Yeah. Make a little tape for him. Wow, that's tough. Nine months. You could walk off of that. Could you?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

I liked you. Too bad. I don't know. You could do it. Nine months. You could walk away from that. So what is the age? What do you mean?

[C]

How old?

[A]

It has to be how old before you can leave and feel okay about it or not be part of that.

[E]

Day after I'm out first year.

[A]

What are you talking about? No, no, I'm saying like, let's say the kid's six. And you do this.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

That's. That makes it tough.

[A]

Yeah. Then you're like, loved it and stuff. This is why I always say never date a single mother. Nope. Because you're gonna fall for the kid. Too. And when you break up, you got to dump the whole family. Oof. Peace out. Good job, Marcus. Happy 911. To you as well. Nine months. I'm with Brad. So you'd. You'd say six years old, you'd kiss the kid? That was fun while it lasted. I'm not staying with your mom. I'm not saying that. What, do you stay. What are we doing? I love that. Because, like, well, but then you just immediately dismiss the kid from your life forever. You Toledo it.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

At age six, you could do that.

[B]

Six years, so.

[A]

Yeah, he's not. He's got plenty of years ahead of him.

[E]

Yeah, that's true.

[A]

It's only 74 more years. Yeah, look, he did six with you in, 74 out. It's like a prison sentence, right? Not too tough. Not mine.

[E]

He might be curious later on.

[A]

About what? If his mom's a. I'll confirm it.

[E]

What happens? So we're. Yeah. Did she tell him the story?

[A]

Better hope she doesn't find Brett. He'll tell her. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Oh, he's gonna blame his mom.

[A]

That's an easy one. Your mother's a whore. What do you mean? Yeah, you're not my kid. I was only there under the pretense. And then once I found out that you're bait, I left immediately.

[B]

Your mother fell and skewered herself on some deer.

[A]

Yeah. Your mom couldn't stop hopping on Strange Dean because that's what Hooers do. Anywho, enjoy your life straight, Nash. I'm out the door. Yeah, it would be easy to do in the hospital. Oh, yeah. I could still do it. Do the. The highly suspect Baby's not the right color. Hey, hold on. I asked Johnny about that, and I said, did that actually happen? He goes, yep. I said, that song 16 is true. He goes, Every word of it. Sixteen years to find you. One second to love you. Or what was it? Sixteen years, several years to hold you. One second to love you and then it would relieve you and it was over. And he said, the baby's a brother and I'm not. He failed. Crushing blow. Anyway. That's interesting. Thanks for the email, Marcus.

[E]

Entertainment Weekly put together a list of the top ten medical shows ever of all time.

[A]

ER has to be.

[E]

It was number one.

[A]

Yeah. And you know what?

[E]

1994 to 2009.

[A]

A great one. Nobody pays attention to that. Should get more accolades than it is St.

[E]

Elsewhere, and St. Elsewhere is number four.

[A]

Yeah. That's one of the best shows that's ever been on. You look at the people that were on it. Denzel Washington, Ed Begley Jr. Howie Mandel, William Daniels. Like it is a cast loaded.

[C]

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[E]

Number two. Dr. Kildare.

[A]

Oh, that's British.

[E]

1961.

[A]

Oh, that's way back to 66. Who houses?

[E]

Yeah, I never did make the top ten list. At number nine. It was.

[A]

Does mash make it? I mean, that was mash was number six. Okay.

[E]

It made it scrubs five. Saying elsewhere four. Like we said, another one on HBO. Getting on 2013 to 2015 on HBO. Chicago hope was number eight. And house.

[A]

Oh, and then Nurse Jackie, which is number 10. Grey's Anatomy's not on it.

[E]

It is number three.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[E]

Yeah, that's the only one we didn't hit.

[A]

That's like 20 years.

[E]

The south park guys are tired of presidential politics. That's one reason why season 27 is being delayed until next year.

[A]

They've pretty much iced out Garrison as Trump. They did that back in 16 and it was hilarious. His running mate was Caitlyn Jenner. It was nuts. They did it again in 20 and they've done it before. They did it with McCain and Obama. They always do the crap sandwich versus the douche. That's what they always say. And I can see where they're Tired of. It's got to be draining.

[E]

Matt Stone says we've. It's south park through four or five presidential elections, and it's such a hard thing to do. Such a mind scramble. Seems like it takes outsized importance, kind of takes over everything. We just. And when we have less fun doing it.

[A]

That's kind of how I feel about this, which is I don't. I don't want to get. We have to talk about politics sometimes. I don't want to become political. You know, it's draining.

[E]

You see it yesterday. He goes, man, you guys are talking a lot more politics.

[A]

Yeah, this.

[E]

This year, it's.

[A]

It's the pop culture of our generation. It's unfortunately the thing we all know. Again, I can sit and talk to you guys all day until I'm blue in the face about serial killer versus the savior. But you haven't seen. It's not on at the same time for you. It is. So we can't talk about. But no, I know for sure. I can tell you see what Trump said and you're gonna pretty much be on it. It's the only thing we're all up to date with. And that's sad.

[E]

Derek Lee Cardello Smith just was. That's one dude. And he took Diddy to court.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

Over sexual assault allegations against guys in prison. Takes Diddy to court. The judge award him 100 million dollar default judgment. What Diddy do to him and this guy, you know, Diddy's lawyer basically says this guy's a convicted felon, a sexual predator who's been sentenced on 14 counts of sexual assault and kidnapping over the last 26 years. His resume now includes committing a fraud on the court from prison as Mr. Combs has never heard of him or let alone been served by any lawsuit. Mr. Combs looks forward to having the judgment swiftly dismissed.

[A]

So Puff Daddy allegedly raped him. $100 million worth.

[E]

The guy took him to court, said, yeah, just took a huge L. Is.

[A]

It just a day of rape? Come. What's the time frame of rape here for 100 million? Because sign me up. Are you kidding me? 24 hours.

[E]

I had to think of the numbers.

[A]

Yeah, 100 million for a single rape. I mean, if it was a lawsuit.

[E]

Did he drugged him and sexually assaulted him at a party in Detroit back in 1997.

[A]

Just once.

[E]

It is unclear. Yeah, it sounds like it's one time.

[A]

You're gonna get a tramp stamp of boom boom room.

[C]

Right, right, right above.

[A]

There's no I'd get a pup tattoo I'd be one time.

[C]

Let me show you my boom boom room.

[A]

I've had awkward sexual exchanges once. Hundred million dollars. That's scary because it's 27 years later too. It's like, ah, when. When does that go away?

[E]

According to the lawsuit, Smith said the two were drinking, smoking weed at a party, got naked with a bunch of women, and he said he was performing oral sex on a woman when he felt a male hand on his left buttock. He says it was Diddy's hand. A short time later, says Diddy offered him a drink, which was spiked, and he passed out.

[A]

And then did he did him? Did he did it?

[E]

Hours later, he woke up. Yep.

[A]

Rubber stamp. 100 million.

[E]

He woke up and saw Diddy having sex with a woman. And Diddy said, I did this to you too.

[A]

Oh, okay. He got a hundred million dollars for that, right? To the whole thing.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Knock me out and go crazy. Give me a pill that puts me out for 24 hours and have at me for a hundred million dollars. That's like a Japanese game show. I'm in. I'm in. And I don't. I kind of remember it, but the only thing I really remember is waking up seeing Puff Daddy banging a girl, going, you. You were last. I did this to you. Like, no kidding. How about that? All right.

[E]

Shaq was on a podcast.

[A]

Some people have all the luck.

[E]

Rod Stewart sang it best. Well, it's not a done deal.

[A]

They're gonna. They're gonna. I know, but even. Even if they cut that into thirds, I've had some awkward sexual exchanges. In 1997. I can go back. I didn't rape anybody, but I'm sure I owe a few girls, like, eight or nine thousand bucks, if that's the going rate for an awkward exchange.

[E]

And the big news in the music world, Chester Bennington's son lasts. Mike Shinoda, for replacing his dad. Late dad.

[A]

Right.

[E]

With Emily Armstrong. There's a Scientology.

[A]

Yeah. She's a science.

[E]

Part of it, that she was backing Danny Masters, Masterson, and the whole thing. And then I don't know if he's just not real happy.

[A]

Well, he's not happy because Chester had come out and been very vocal about having had sexual abuse in his past, physical abuse in his past, Was an advocate for all sorts of that, you know, speak up kind of stuff. And this girl backed a rapist after his conviction with one of those letters like, Mila. Mila and what's his name?

[E]

From Punkt and Brett. He said, I can't believe you Went with a broad.

[A]

Yeah. And that's the other thing. It's like it's abroad. But again, you know, devil's advocate on that. Unfortunately, your dad killed himself and left that band high and dry. You don't have a say. My dad's job. I never. Hey, I'm Dan's son and I can't believe you're like. They wouldn't like. I don't care who you are. You're Dan's.

[C]

Stop building.

[A]

Yeah, you don't. Yeah. You don't know what you're talking about. You weren't in the band.

[E]

So you want this to be successful, son, because you're still going to get your rake.

[A]

There's money, right?

[E]

Toledo.

[A]

Yeah, that's. You got to get the rake. Freddie learned that this morning. He's going to start throwing it around a little bit more. I want my rake. That's just money off the top. The fig. The rake. That's a poker table term. Yeah, but, yeah, this is about money. This isn't about his. I can't believe you've hired that girl. He must. He must have a bad deal with the name. And they're gonna make money off of his dad.

[E]

Kind of hypes it up a little bit.

[A]

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[C]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Well, just in case you haven't been paying attention or if you've been mia, we'll let you know that Frank Caliendo is going to be performing at the Desert Ridge Improv this Friday and Saturday night. So tune in. Frank's going to be in with the guys all week long and just maybe we'll have tickets for you to go catch Frank Live up North at Desert Ridge for the complete lineups. And for Tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com hey, what's up?

[D]

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