08-26-25 - Brady Report - MIX - 5x - Survey On Travel Habits Picked Up From Parents BO

Summary

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Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – 08-26-25

“Brady Report - MIX - 5x - Survey On Travel Habits Picked Up From Parents BO”

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Episode Overview

This lively episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness features the crew—John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Eric (Dick Toledo)—engaging in their trademark blend of humor, pop culture tangents, and everyday absurdities. The main theme centers on quirky travel habits people subconsciously inherit from their parents, but the show quickly spins through a wild array of topics: grilling dad-jokes, the true nature of wasabi, the dangers of clear things, robot dentists, and a device for friendship-challenged adults. Throughout, the chemistry and comedic timing make for a rollercoaster of banter and laughs.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Travel Habits Passed Down from Parents

(08:06 – 09:56)

• Survey Results:
  The team discusses survey data on travel behaviors people worry they've picked up from their parents:

  • Getting to the airport way too early
  • Forgetting things at home
  • Needing to find the gate before doing anything else
  • Using the bathroom before/during boarding
  • Making friends at the airport

• On Airport Rituals:
  John notes that these behaviors aren't just “turning into your parents”—they're traveling like your parents.
  Quote:

  “It’s less about turning into your parents at 30. It’s traveling like your parents.”
  (John Holmberg, 08:35)

• Aisle vs. Window Seat Debates:
  Hilarious complaints about travelers who immediately hit the bathroom after boarding—especially “broads” in window seats.
  Quote:

  “Nothing worse than... a broad in a window seat. That’s right. I knew it. Broaden the window seat and you hear that unbuckling of the bell. Oh, God, she’s gotta pee.”
  (John Holmberg, 09:14)

• John’s Upcoming Flight:
  A reluctant admission that John will soon fly with “the rubes,” having to escape right after the show to the “greyhound in the sky.”
  Quote:

  “I'm gonna have to sit with them for a little bit. I’m looking forward to that. It’s like a greyhound in the sky now. Oh, the general public.”
  (John Holmberg, 10:21)

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2. Dad Jokes, Grilling, and Kitchen Mishaps

(03:41 – 07:07)

• Dad Aprons & Grill Humor:
  The team riffs about novelty grill aprons and dad culture, teasing Brady about owning several, including a “Statue of David” version.

  • “Grills just want to have fun.” (Brady, 04:49)
  • “Big daddy is on the grill.” (Brady, 05:54)

• Breakfast Incident:
  A story about Brady making breakfast for the team, only for Eric to reject the hashbrowns for being “a little soggy,” deeply offending Brady.
  Quote:

  “Deflated him. It was like Dig Dug when you…”
  (John Holmberg, 06:56)

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3. The Great Wasabi & Transparency Debate

(12:35 – 21:00)

• Wasabi Myths Busted:
  Discussion about how most U.S. wasabi is just horseradish dyed green. The conversation devolves into an extended, hilarious, and confusing debate about the color and clarity of real wasabi, “transparent” ginger, and what “clear” even means.

  • “Really? So that globo wasabi isn’t wasabi?” (John Holmberg, 12:47)
  • “I look through my ginger all the time.” (Eric, 15:04)

• Definitions Sidetrack:
  The group (unsuccessfully) tries to agree on scientific terms: transparent, translucent, reflective, opaque, etc.

  • “Is your shirt transparent? Because if I put it over a lampshade, light would still get through.” (John Holmberg, 15:04)
  • “Opaque—That's Irish girls coming out of a Jewish guy's hat.” (John Holmberg, 24:17)

• Absurdism Peak:
  Holmberg jokes about invisible wasabi on sushi plates and how “hair is invisible”—Marching into pure nonsense.

  • “Just know that if you’ve got a plate and the guy goes, here you go, your sushi... where’s the wasabi? Everywhere.” (John Holmberg, 24:00)

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4. Safety on Roads & Most Dangerous Day of the Year

(15:26 – 16:29)

• August 7th:
  Announced as the statistically deadliest day for American drivers, though even the hosts admit no one knows why.
  • “They didn’t explain why this isn’t news.” (John Holmberg, 15:50)
  • “Maybe it’s because the cars on August 7th are translucent. They’re clear.” (John Holmberg, 16:21)

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5. Robot Dentists & Booby-Trapped Toilets

(25:25 – 27:47)

• Robot Dentists:
  News about AI-driven dental work emerging, leading to banter about whether they’d trust a robot to fix their teeth.

• Exploding Toilet Pranks:
  An incident in Texas where someone rigged car wash toilets to explode when sat upon; mostly harmless, though the hosts focus on whether it could injure “the honeyhole.”

  • “The thing we're worried about, does it blow up a butthole?” (John Holmberg, 26:29)
  • “I'm not going anywhere named Washtub.” (Brett Vesely, 27:08)

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6. Lonely Tech: Wearable Virtual Friends

(28:17 – 32:23)

• Friend Device:
  Discussion about “Friend,” a $99 wearable pendant that listens, responds, and tries to replace real-life human friends via text messages.

  • “We already have phones in our pockets that listen to us all the time anyway.” (Brett Vesely, 29:35)
  • “Cat ladies... Virtual friend never goes, ‘no thanks.’ Like, it’s always gonna be up for whatever you want to do and compliments you, advice, even that.” (John Holmberg, 29:49)

• Dystopian Humor:
  Jokes escalate, imagining the device getting “clingy” or turning sinister:

  • “The necklace is gonna teach you how to tie a noose and just hang yourself.” (Brett Vesely, 31:34)
  • “You're not having sex with that on.” (John Holmberg, 32:01)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Cutting Bread as a Lefty:
  “Lefties tend to cut things like bread thinner at the top, fatter at the bottom because it’s sliced in that particular direction.”
  (Eric, 03:43)

• Wasabi Color Dispute:
  “If you say clear again...”
  (John Holmberg, 14:00)

• Transparency/Opacity Sidetrack:
  “Please tell me Kirby hasn’t picked up that gene.”
  (Brady, 15:22)

• On Tech-Loneliness:
  “It’s just like being beautiful is hard work, isn’t it? Like, it’s gonna make these lonely people have confidence. It’s an affirmation tape.”
  (John Holmberg, 30:01)

• Summing up the Show’s Chaos:
  “God, I love this show.”
  (Eric, 23:57)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | Notes | |----------------------------------------------|--------------|--------------------------------------------------------| | Breakfast, grilling, bread & dad jokes | 03:41–07:07 | Banter about breakfast, dad culture, grill humor | | Travel habits survey & travel pet peeves | 08:06–10:21 | Survey on inherited travel quirks, airport annoyances | | Wasabi, “clear food” debate, word confusion |12:35–21:00 | Origin of wasabi in US, devolves into color/clarity talk| | Deadliest driving day, road safety |15:26–16:29 | August 7th, dangerous roads | | Extended wasabi/cluelessness humor |21:00–25:17 | Tangents, color arguments, hilarious absurdity | | Robot dentist & toilet explosives story |25:25–27:47 | News stories, explosion prank discussion | | Virtual friend pendant & loneliness tech |28:17–32:23 | Tech designed to replace friends, show's dystopian takes|

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Tone & Style

The episode radiates with the show's signature irreverence and fast-paced absurd humor. The crew’s chemistry shines, with relentless teasing, wild tangents, and satirical takes on current events and oddities. Engaging storytelling and comedic one-upmanship dominate, making even the most mundane topics a launching pad for zingers and mock-philosophical debate.

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Compiled with attention to the original dialogue, preserving the crew’s distinct personalities and comedic interplay.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[Brady]

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[Mo]

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[John Holmberg]

Of the best of homework's morning sickness. 98 KUPD it's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and is brought to you by our friends at all Pro Shade Concepts. Shade is a beautiful thing. Heat's coming back. We had our little reprieve here. Saw a thing last night that scene McLaughlin was on saying how many days under 100 degrees do we normally have in July? Broke out like a little chart. Zero last year. Zero the year before that three in 2022. We were at two in 2025. So three or four is like a bonanza. Had a little dust storm last night coming through a little monsoon. Wake up. So it's been a it's Actually been a nice summer. Nothing makes that even better. Take advantage of the fact, like Brady's doing. You got a 98 degree day in July. You throw those shades out, suddenly it's 79 on your back porch. Sitting there sipping margaritas and enjoying bowls by the pool. Man. Not those bowls, you pervert weirdos. The ones with the. The good ones, the smoking ones, the weed. You can get it all done. AllProchade.com is where they go. They'll take care of you and they'll knock out 95% of the sun's UV rays. Those are the bad ones. Drop the temps around 20 degrees. Get it in the right spot. That's perfect. AllProchade.com Brady reported.

[Eric]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Hello, world. Hi.

[Eric]

Happy National Left Handers Day.

[John Holmberg]

There you go.

[Eric]

And National Filet Mignon Day.

[Brady]

Okay, can you eat a filet with your left hand?

[John Holmberg]

Well, I'm gonna get one for my daughter. That sounds nice. She can eat it with her left hand and then get around all that vegetarian nonsense.

[Eric]

Being left handed and slicing your steak. Serrated knives. Even a lot of lefties don't know the teeth are set up to offset the tendency to twist clockwise and on your right hand when you use it with your right hand.

[John Holmberg]

That's if you use it like the way the British do.

[Eric]

So. So lefties tend to cut things like bread thinner at the top, fatter at.

[John Holmberg]

The bottom because it's sliced in that particular direction.

[Eric]

That's their own bread.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. They slice that. Now that's why they say best invention since sliced bread. There's no reason to have gigantic loaves at your house. You have to hack into Brady.

[Eric]

I can't help.

[John Holmberg]

I imagine you've got a. A sourdough.

[Eric]

I'm pretty adamant. Like I've never done that. If I've had to slice bread.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Eric]

Start off, it's the other way around. Usually it's no one at the top.

[John Holmberg]

No one cares if your bread slices are accurate. Nobody cares.

[Eric]

Paper thin. Then I can cut through an aluminum can.

[John Holmberg]

This is that. Progressive ads like Stop, nobody cares. I think of you every time I see that Geico ad where Rick is fixing not becoming your parents and the guy's standing there behind the grill with the take it off, take it off, take it off from taking it off.

[Eric]

Ya.

[John Holmberg]

And he points to the apron like this. No, you're talking about awesome. Something about grills. Something.it's a hilarious spot. But I think of Brady every time.

[Brady]

Grills just want to have fun.

[John Holmberg]

That's Right. And it's just. And he wants to have. And see, this is why you need to be talked to about that. I imagine you've got a. You've had in the past an apron with a wacky joke on.

[Eric]

I've been given two or three aprons and have worn proudly.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. I'm not an apron wearer. You squat topless.

[Eric]

I should. I should. Because they are funny.

[John Holmberg]

I like when the hot meat sparks onto my chest. Don't start acting like you've got a highbrow for the grill jokes. I guarantee you there's some dad humor going on.

[Eric]

The last one I got was either two Christmases ago. It was the physique. It was the statue of David.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, so it made it look like you were ripped.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Mo]

Marble.

[John Holmberg]

Take it off from taking it off of you.

[Eric]

Violet was one of the original M M colors when they were introduced in 1941.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, look at the screen. Toledo's pulled up all sorts of wacky aprons for grilling. All of them make me think of you. There isn't one that doesn't. Smoking hot. So's my grill.

[Brady]

Big daddy is on the grill.

[John Holmberg]

Big daddy on the grill.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, at least we know what to do for Brady Gras this year.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Already the grill father. Don't laugh at him. That makes us want to get those that ain't burnt. That's flavor, all right.

[Eric]

Donna's green egg.

[John Holmberg]

Brady made breakfast for Eric, Brian, and I on Saturday. I got up, drove to, like, the place to buy breakfast at like 4 in the morning, and then came back and it was cooked up and ready to go. Cookie was all done, and I watched Brady deflate. It was the saddest thing ever. I thought it was delicious. I enjoyed it. A couple hash browns, bacon, some eggs. Everything tasted great. I chow down on that, and Eric goes to throw away his plate, and he's left two slices of bacon under the napkin. Brady grabbed his hand over the garbage. What are you doing?

[Eric]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[John Holmberg]

And he reaches on to someone else's food of bacon plate of food and just hand Fs the bacon right into his mouth. I'm eating that.

[Eric]

If that's.

[John Holmberg]

And then he goes throwing that away. Why didn't he eat that? That's a little soggy for my taste.

[Eric]

No, the. It was the hash brown.

[John Holmberg]

I know. And he pointed because you were pointing to the hash browns. Why didn't you eat that? Yeah, they're a little soggy for my taste. Deflated him. It was like dig dug when you.

[Eric]

Went out in the backyard and cried.

[Brady]

That was your Winston moment with me.

[John Holmberg]

You like him. No, that was different.

[Eric]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

You don't like. You don't like the way I made those for you? Not really. I was gonna toss them in the trash, so I walk up behind and I said, that's all right. I'm gonna have the decency to at least throw it up. And Brady's not paying attention. And you did probably, you know what? That might have been what got me a day later.

[Eric]

Keep thinking you were.

[Brady]

Throwing up, but that's not the case.

[John Holmberg]

No, I did a little.

[Eric]

Did you?

[John Holmberg]

I think I was trying. Well, I tried to force that out because I thought that was what was going on. And then I realized shortly after the nausea turned into. I felt like, I mean, Nicole Brown Simpson didn't get stabbed as heart attack. My stomach was hurting.

[Eric]

I don't think Nicole Brown Simpson drank as hard as you did over the weekend.

[John Holmberg]

That could be too, but I don't think that has anything to do with it. I know you don't like alcohol. That had nothing to do with diarrhea. You don't all like that. I've been much worse than what we did this week.

[Eric]

The survey asked which travel habits people are worried they picked up from their parents. The top five were getting to the airport way too early, forgetting something at home, wanting to find the gate before doing anything else.

[John Holmberg]

This is like traveling to find out where you're. Yeah, like one of the travel like your parents. Not just turning into your parents, going.

[Eric]

To the bathroom right before or during the flight boarding process and making friends at the airport.

[John Holmberg]

So it's less about turning into your parents at 30. It's traveling like your parents.

[Eric]

Well, those are just habits. They're asking about traveling, but there's other habits.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sure, it ends up being that, but that particular stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

I hate those people that got to go to the bathroom as soon as they get on the plane.

[John Holmberg]

Great.

[Brett Vesely]

Now everybody's trying to board. You're trying to sneak through.

[John Holmberg]

It's a, it's a broad jerk. They should have a demand that women are on the aisle. You put a woman in a window seat, she's going to make a mockery of a 45 minute flight twice. I don't know what it is. I drink it. We were at the beer place before, so I had a beer and now I have to pee. You should have peed before we got on. Yeah, but we were in line. Okay, so pee in the plumber. I don't know if they're gonna let me up? Oh, you're gonna wait till it's in the air, aren't you? The ding is gonna happen. You're gonna start unbuckling. Nothing worse than a. I'll say it. A broad and a window seat. That's right. I knew it. Make better broaden the window seat and you hear that unbuckling of the bell. Oh, God, she's gotta pee.

[Brady]

Freaking light goes off.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Eric]

Ha's movie.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, I'm not doing that. You do movies together on a plane.

[Eric]

No, but I'm saying, like.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're gonna stop. You're doing your whole thing. Yeah, I thought you were saying that you were with.

[Eric]

No. The whole process to get up. Wow.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brett Vesely]

And I usually sit on the aisle, too, so I hear that clicking.

[Eric]

God damn it.

[Announcer]

Here we go.

[John Holmberg]

First class, not flying. I gotta fly with the rubes here in a couple of weeks. I gotta fly.

[Brett Vesely]

I can't wait for the report on this one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm telling you, I'm gonna.

[Brett Vesely]

That show's gonna write itself when you come back.

[John Holmberg]

We don't.

[Brett Vesely]

We ain't gonna have to do nothing.

[John Holmberg]

What's worse is my flight's, like, at 11:30 in the morning on Friday. So it is out show and go. I'm leaving right after this ends, and I'm gonna shoot to the airport. I'm still. I already pre bought a. So I'm 1 through 15 because I spent an extra 45 bucks on that, which now we're Chavez.

[Brett Vesely]

Look at you on Southwest.

[John Holmberg]

Trust me, trust me. Anything to make it easier on myself. And now that the stock market's crashed, I want that money back. But the yeah, so I'm down 968, by the way. The. Yeah, so I'm gonna have to sit with them in a little bit. I'm looking forward to that. It's like a greyhound in the sky now. Oh, the general public. Brady Cumbers, morning sickness. 28 KUPD.

[Announcer]

Hey, you want to win 970? Well, check this out. Handle the Heat is back with another chance to win and another chance to check out a Holmberg special on the menu at Native Grill and Wings. That's right. Join the HMS Crew at Native Grill and Wings during one of our 4U brews for a chance to participate in Handle the Heat. That's Holmberg's hot wing eating contest. For details on all the contest rules, head to 98kupd.com. Think you can handle the heat? Well, bring your appetite and find out. It's all brought to you By Native Grill and Wings. Hey, you want to win $979? Well, check this out. Handle the Heat is back with another chance to win and another chance to check out a Holmberg special on the menu at Native Grill and Wings. That's right. Join the HMS Crew at Native Grill and Wings during one of our 4U brews for a chance to participate in Handle the Heat. That's Holmberg's hot wing eating contest. For details on all the contest rules, head to 98kupd.com think you can handle the heat? Well, bring your appetite and find out. It's all brought to you by Native Grill and Wings.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street. For me, that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this, though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd have just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house, cash. As is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or sing Hopkins. One Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Blech.

[Eric]

Almost all the wasabi we eat in the US Is actually a mixture of horseradish, mustard, starch, and food coloring. Real wasabi is usually too expensive to import.

[John Holmberg]

Really? So that glopo wasabi isn't wasabi?

[Eric]

Yeah, well, yeah, it's that horseradish.

[John Holmberg]

And. No kidding.

[Eric]

Yeah. And I always understood that the. That I knew there was coloring added to it. It's not green to make it conscious. It's like clear.

[John Holmberg]

Right? Clear. That would be awesome. How would you know where it is?

[Eric]

Well, a little more transparent, I guess. See through.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think you're saying that right. You think wasabi is completely see through?

[Eric]

Not completely see through. That's what.

[John Holmberg]

Transparent?

[Eric]

More colorless. Let's say that.

[Brett Vesely]

White.

[Eric]

Not even white. It's more like.

[John Holmberg]

Is it like Wonder Woman's plane or not?

[Eric]

I thought it was more like. I always thought it was horseradish.

[John Holmberg]

Get up and hit him. Well, horseradish is white.

[Eric]

Yeah. And so that's what I thought.

[John Holmberg]

That's not. That's.

[Brett Vesely]

That's not clear.

[Eric]

So I Don't think I've ever had real wasabi. Because sometimes.

[John Holmberg]

How would you know?

[Eric]

Gone too.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you could be eating it right now. I could be floating around at least where it's not.

[Eric]

The wasabi wasn't green.

[John Holmberg]

You have.

[Eric]

Yeah. And then. Then there was that place in.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna try again for a while. What color was it?

[Eric]

Wasabi. They colored it blue.

[John Holmberg]

What was the one that you. That wasn't green? That you're like, hey, I didn't know this was. What color was that that you think is real?

[Eric]

Was like.

[John Holmberg]

If you say clear again.

[Eric]

Skin color.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, like a peach. Like white people skin.

[Eric]

Yeah. Not Irish.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Not albino.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett Vesely]

Not Mexican.

[John Holmberg]

You hear yourself, right? You know how hard it is to talk to you sometimes. Food was clear. No, no, I meant transparent. God damn it.

[Eric]

Like ginger. It looked.

[John Holmberg]

That's a color.

[Eric]

Ginger. No, the ginger root is a color. Really? It's brown. Ginger root is brown.

[John Holmberg]

You think that's transparent?

[Eric]

The outside of it. The inside is more.

[John Holmberg]

Yellow.

[Eric]

It's more yellow. I would say it's jaundice.

[John Holmberg]

That's a color, too. How is that not a color?

[Eric]

Do you not see colors? Let me suck that, please. But if I took ginger and I made it, a lampshade light would go through it. Very nice. Yeah.

[Brady]

And it would still have a color filtered through it.

[Eric]

But it's transparent. No, it's not.

[John Holmberg]

That means see through it. Doesn't mean that light.

[Eric]

I look through my ginger all the time.

[John Holmberg]

Is your shirt transparent? Because if I put it over, a lampshade light would still get through.

[Eric]

Then technically, it would be trans.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna take a thousand laps.

[Eric]

See you tomorrow.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Go kung fu yourself and walk until you figure out what you've done wrong.

[Brady]

Please tell me Kirby hasn't picked up that gene.

[Eric]

Today is supposedly the most dangerous day of the year.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. Because there's transparent Food Runner. I could shoot in your throat and.

[Eric]

Choke you, but death a dash can cam company called Next Base, crunched the numbers and found August 7th is the deadliest day of American roadways.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Eric]

They didn't explain why this isn't news.

[John Holmberg]

God damn it.

[Brett Vesely]

Breaking news.

[John Holmberg]

This isn't how it's supposed to work. The information. Give it to me straight.

[Eric]

They didn't explain why random Wednesday in August is so dangerous, but it's based on data from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. They also did a poll. They also did a poll and found 62% of drivers feel like the roads are more dangerous than they were. Five years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe it's because the cars are. The cars on August 7th are translucent. They're clear. Well, that's not clear. That just means light passes through. But still.

[Brady]

Hold on, Brady, what color is that?

[John Holmberg]

It's wasabi. That's actual transparent. That the transparent stuff?

[Eric]

No.

[John Holmberg]

What is the color of the one on the left before Food coloring's at green.

[Brady]

That's not food coloring.

[Eric]

That's the actual root.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's the root of wasabi all the way through. Okay, so the whole story was bunco. Because that's as green as wasabi that I've ever seen.

[Eric]

Right. So that's why they put the coloring in here in the United States for.

[John Holmberg]

The ones on the left.

[Eric]

It's too expensive. It actually is green.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Cuz it's. We.

[Brady]

Was that an emission? Did we just hear an admission that.

[John Holmberg]

The whole story wasn't.

[Brady]

It actually is.

[John Holmberg]

It actually is green. So why would they put green food color?

[Eric]

Because I've had a different color wasabi before starting over.

[John Holmberg]

What color was it?

[Eric]

Transparent.

[John Holmberg]

It was clear my head. So you've had one of those three wasabis is what you're saying? Cuz the story said it's not green and we just saw a picture.

[Eric]

I was. It was me that I thought the under it was not.

[John Holmberg]

What was it?

[Eric]

They just colored it that we don't have. Majority of the United States does not have.

[John Holmberg]

They just use. Right.

[Eric]

They don't use wasabi, radish, mustard, starch.

[John Holmberg]

And then you said wasabi is not green. You've been to places that it isn't green. And I said color. Yeah, and you said transparent. And then you said. What was the first one? They're clear. He said clear was more like clear like our hair is clear. Clear. We have clear hair. If our driver's license said what colors your hair? It would be clear.

[Eric]

Yeah, I would say that. My license said that.

[John Holmberg]

My license says hair cl. Clear. It's there.

[Eric]

Put that down. You just can't see it. Eyes too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, your eyes aren't clear. Your eyes are there. Your hair is not. You understand the joke, right?

[Eric]

I hear the commercial. Clear eyes.

[John Holmberg]

No, you don't have clear eyes. That's to clear the red out of the. Like you can clear a desk. It doesn't mean it disappears the stuff on top of it. Nope, don't. Don't.

[Eric]

But then there's that wasabi root right there. That looks white.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, That's a color. You can see it. Right here's the white.

[Brady]

You just said it was white, though.

[John Holmberg]

That was clear. You were eating that gelatinous glob of invisible stuff.

[Eric]

It was. It glowed a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Eric]

It reflected the light a little more than that. It wasn't like a solid white.

[Brady]

Is translucent the word that breaks?

[John Holmberg]

Translucent is the word. Yeah, I said that just now. It's translucent. Translucent is light passes through. Correct?

[Eric]

Correct.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Transparent is completely see through.

[Brady]

Completely see through.

[Brett Vesely]

I need a drink.

[John Holmberg]

Let's go, Brett. I'm gonna blow Brett for his birthday real quick just to get out of this.

[Brady]

True Japanese wasabi is 60 bucks a pound, says Ray.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you know what? You're gonna need a pound. I have a pound. Look, I have a pound of my hands right now.

[Brady]

Oh, look at that.

[Brett Vesely]

Wow. I can see, right?

[John Holmberg]

Wow. It's clear. You want to bite?

[Eric]

It's invisible.

[John Holmberg]

$45 for a bite. That's clear, my friend.

[Eric]

No, you can still see.

[John Holmberg]

You can see things that are clear.

[Eric]

Yes. What you would say, would you say glass is clear?

[John Holmberg]

It's clear.

[Eric]

Yeah, but you can see the glass, so it's not invisible.

[John Holmberg]

I can't see the glass. That's the point of the glass.

[Eric]

You can see the glass.

[John Holmberg]

No, I can touch the glass. I currently can't see that glass. I can see the dirt on the glass. But a good piece of glass I will walk through.

[Eric]

But if you. Oh, you can.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Eric]

Why? Because there's times that it's not reflecting the glass.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. So the reflection is what you would.

[Eric]

See, but it's still not invisible.

[John Holmberg]

Says why? Because it's an actual product.

[Eric]

Yeah, right.

[John Holmberg]

That can reflect back. It's reflective.

[Eric]

Yeah. What's Wonder Woman's plans, Brett?

[John Holmberg]

Wonder Woman's plan is technically invisible. Like wasabi.

[Eric]

You can touch it.

[John Holmberg]

Is wasabi reflective glass is a reflective surface?

[Eric]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you.

[Eric]

I would say yes, it is.

[John Holmberg]

You think wasabi is a reflecting surf?

[Eric]

We can see it. It's reflecting light.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going home.

[Eric]

Wouldn't it be reflecting light for us to see it? You.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, now you're being an idiot.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Do you think wasabi on a plate will show you? What do you mean a reflect? A reflection.

[Eric]

Oh, you mean like a mirror?

[John Holmberg]

A reflection?

[Eric]

Oh, no, not a reflection.

[John Holmberg]

Not yet.

[Eric]

Reflecting light.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Announcer]

Holberg's morning silverness.

[John Holmberg]

Morning sickness 28 kubd.

[Announcer]

All right, HMS podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Well, just in case you haven't been paying attention, or if you've been mia, we'll let you know that Frank Caliendo is going to be performing at the Desert Ridge Improv this Friday and Saturday night. So tune in. Frank's going to be in with the guys all week long. And just maybe we'll have tickets for you to go catch Frank live up north at Desert Ridge for the complete lineups. And for Tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com hey, what's up?

[Mo]

It's Mo and my friends at the University of Advancing Technology has been ranked the 1 best college for computer science for not one, but two years in a row. Which makes total sense because UAT are always on the lookout for those who don't just embrace technology, they live it. From advancing computer science and robotics to cybersecurity, gaming and artificial intelligence, UAT is where innovation thrives. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution, visit UAT edu mo. And don't just study tech. Live it.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett.

[Byron]

I sure do. It's MMP Guns Customs. MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Byron]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or. We already have completed firearms in inventory daily with.

[John Holmberg]

No wait.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or at mmpgunscustoms.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness Brady?

[Brady]

I think so.

[John Holmberg]

Then it would be timeout. Then it would be invisible.

[Eric]

If it's reflecting light.

[John Holmberg]

No, you just said it's not reflecting anything because it's not pushing back.

[Eric]

Reflecting light?

[John Holmberg]

In what way?

[Eric]

In order for us to making a.

[John Holmberg]

Prism, we can't see it. That's the point of the clear part.

[Brady]

Absorbs some light wavelength, but in order.

[Eric]

To see, it wouldn't have to be reflecting light for us to see.

[John Holmberg]

Doesn't air reflect light?

[Brady]

The atmosphere? I think it collects light.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Eric]

Yeah, but it's.

[John Holmberg]

Would you say it's invisible air? Yeah.

[Eric]

Yeah, for the most part. I know there's particles in the air.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. That doesn't mean you can see them. Oh really?

[Eric]

Yeah. If we took a magnifying glass of the air.

[John Holmberg]

We'd see air if you had a big enough magnet.

[Eric]

You know when you see that.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. That's sunlight. That's. That's different.

[Eric]

It's refle. Reflecting light. That's.

[John Holmberg]

That's dirt.

[Eric]

And we can see that because it reflects light.

[John Holmberg]

That's not air.

[Eric]

No, no, but that's not air. That's the things in the air. Right? Okay, so the actual air you're saying is invisible.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. How old are you that you just are telling me. Okay, you're saying air is invisible.

[Eric]

Science. God, I love this show.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. But just know that if you've got a plate and the guy goes, here you go, your sushi. Like, where's the wasabi? Everywhere.

[Eric]

Just touch it.

[John Holmberg]

You'll feel for him.

[Eric]

It's clear.

[Brady]

Is it possible, Brady, the word you're looking for is opacity.

[Eric]

Opaque.

[John Holmberg]

Opaque. Or the. That's Irish. That's Irish curls. That's Irish girls coming out of a Jewish guy's hat.

[Brady]

Opaque. Opacity. So you're judging an item's opacity. Yeah, on how opaque it is.

[John Holmberg]

Because opaque is. It's completely darkness.

[Eric]

That's opaque.

[John Holmberg]

Complete darkness. Like it. Like lack of vision. Black.

[Brady]

John, you. Please stop it.

[John Holmberg]

Breath. That's not what I meant.

[Brady]

Please come up with a disclaimer.

[John Holmberg]

Stevie Wonder is not opaque. That's not what I. Lack of vision. Black is. I gotta. I gotta reword that.

[Brady]

John, please come up with a public service announcement. Because driving on a morning like this makes me want to drive into Tempe.

[John Holmberg]

And that's what Scott Haynes just said. This is why August 7th is the most dangerous day today. Because you're gonna have an aneurysm.

[Brady]

Brady, I don't think that was wasabi you ate. That was someone's yummy yummy.

[John Holmberg]

Which is not clear either.

[Brady]

No, but it is opaque.

[John Holmberg]

A lot of it. I don't even know if light passes through mind. I think I could put that on a flashlight and dull it. Hair is invisible. For those of you just tuning in.

[Eric]

Robot Dennis are about to become a thing an AI company called Perceptive pulled pulled off the office. What'd you ask?

[Brady]

I said I'd be okay with that.

[Eric]

Okay.

[Brady]

The robot.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus Christ.

[Eric]

And a lot of people testy now. Well, I can't go anywhere.

[John Holmberg]

No, you bring up interesting things and then we ask questions. No, you get mad like you invented the sentence. You're the one who said the thing is clear. And I'm like, wow, really?

[Eric]

As I'm talking about these.

[John Holmberg]

That's fine. But you got grouchy over the thing.

[Eric]

Like you point that.

[John Holmberg]

You did ask, you didn't write the goddamn story. We have questions. Go ahead. Robot dentist.

[Eric]

This 46 year old dude in Texas is facing charges for booby trapping the toilets at two different car washes to cause explosions when people sat down.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy.

[Eric]

Doesn't sound like they're big enough to destroy the bowl of the toilet. But you put them under the seat and the firework would explode when there was enough pressure on it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going to tell you, Brady, I don't care about the toilet bowls. After an. Really? The thing we're worried about, does it blow up a butthole?

[Eric]

The first incident happened on July 20th at a place called Washtub near San Antonio. The woman who sat on the toilet was injured, but no word how badly. She was very shaken up, but her.

[John Holmberg]

Honeyhole is hanging over the explosive and.

[Eric]

Left before the cops got there.

[John Holmberg]

Part of the story is not strong enough to blow up the ball. Yeah, but that's not what they're trying to blow up.

[Eric]

Six days later, there were two more toilets exploding. You know what you never hear washtub location.

[John Holmberg]

You never hear this. Is the toilet functional still?

[Brett Vesely]

I'm not going anywhere named Washtub.

[John Holmberg]

Any wash tub. You know, mitt in the washtub.

[Eric]

The woods house, they got him. The dude's name's Paul Alden.

[Brady]

He's a Vietnam vet.

[Eric]

They showed security footage showed him walking into the bathrooms right before the explosion happened. He hung around outside until he heard the blast.

[Brady]

Charlie Don.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And the guy that was laughing is the one that they thought he might have done this.

[Eric]

There's Paul. Mug shot?

[John Holmberg]

No, he might be of Afghanistan. Not of it. Like the war.

[Eric]

Not.

[John Holmberg]

He's not Afghani.

[Eric]

The second explosions, two toilets. It was a woman in the. Her daughter. And the other one, he had a.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they had both of them.

[Eric]

Yeah. Minor injuries. They're both okay.

[John Holmberg]

So it was just sort of.

[Eric]

I see it like a giant snap and pop.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what that is.

[Eric]

The pressure, you know?

[John Holmberg]

Are you talking about the ladies? I thought you were calling her genitals a snap and pop.

[Eric]

No, that would be something.

[John Holmberg]

I see it like a giant snap and pop sometimes too. Depends on the angle. If the light hits it just right. Look at her. Snap and pop. Actually, that's a good nickname. The front one's the snap. The bat wants the pop.

[Eric]

There's a promo video for a new product called Friend. It blew up on social media. This weekend. It's a virtual companion you wear like a necklace. The pendant has a built in microphone and listens and responds to whatever you say. People are mostly mocking it for being dystopian and weird, but some people like the idea. One person, you know, compares it to that Tamagotchi.

[John Holmberg]

Huh?

[Eric]

The Tamagotchi.

[John Holmberg]

Now you and I both don't know what that is.

[Eric]

That's that the virtual pets from the 90s.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Eric]

You know, where you have to feed it and take care of it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was a computer pet.

[Eric]

It always listens and tosses out comments when it wants to. But it can totally replace a real friend.

[Brady]

No, don't say that.

[John Holmberg]

There's some friends I'd replace.

[Eric]

It doesn't talk, it texts you the comment back.

[John Holmberg]

So it's. It's a smart ad.

[Eric]

Shows a woman eating and watching a show on her phone when a message pops up. Fabulous show is completely underrated.

[John Holmberg]

Couldn't get a date. Oh my God. This is worse than Cat Ladies. JD Vance might be right about these people. People.

[Eric]

It's. You can pre order it for $99 friend.com.

[Brett Vesely]

It'S stupid. We already have phones in our pockets.

[Eric]

Have.

[Brett Vesely]

Listen to us all the time. Anyway, it's already been done.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking is like your friend is your phone. Like that's a deal.

[Eric]

A recent study at Stanford found that virtual friends can be helpful for people who live alone.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you Cat ladies, and I'll tell you why is because Virtual friend never goes, no thanks. Like it's always gonna be up for whatever you want to do and compliments.

[Eric]

You, advice, even that.

[John Holmberg]

It's just like being beautiful is hard work, isn't it? Like it's gonna make these, these lonely people have confidence. It's a. It's an affirmation tape. They used to do these things for like Stuart Smalley. Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live? It's like people like you. It's gonna say nice things to somebody who doesn't feel good enough. You're smart enough and you know what it should say? You know what it should start with? Larry, Things are going great. You need to leave the house, buddy. Even the thing around Larry's neck would be like, are we ever gonna go anywhere, Larry? Look, Nicholas, it's hot out.

[Brady]

Listen.

[John Holmberg]

And there's a lot of weirdos. Larry, take me off. Put me on somebody else's neck. This is ridiculous.

[Eric]

A lot of things can happen.

[John Holmberg]

Larry. Would he break up with that thing? I don't know. It just started acting all weird. It's not the weird one. Man, get out of the house. We try so hard to get. Larry's so much goddamn fun. We're like, let's go somewhere. I can't.

[Brett Vesely]

These were the days.

[John Holmberg]

And, like, come to lunch with us. I made a PB&J. Throw it away. It's 7 cents worth of food.

[Brady]

Also, it'll keep until tomorrow.

[John Holmberg]

It's in a bag, Bridget.

[Eric]

I better not just give it to Brady.

[Brett Vesely]

How many preservatives are in there? Don't worry about it.

[John Holmberg]

And then Larry had one of those Italian horns on his neck, and it started to light up and it goes, I want to go to lunch, so just take me off and give me to a fungi. I don't want people to have access to that because I worry about my friends that don't like society already having a buddy on their chain, Virtual pal, tells them they're awesome all the time. Why would you ever leave?

[Brett Vesely]

The necklace is gonna teach you how to tie a noose and just hang yourself.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? The necklace just gets tighter. Doesn't this feel right? This feels right for both of us, right? We should put tight things on our neck, don't you think? You look so good with something tighter. You. You know where you look good? 6, 7 inches above the ground.

[Eric]

Someone asked if wearing it while having sex qualifies as a threesome.

[John Holmberg]

You're not having sex with that on.

[Eric]

He said, maybe.

[John Holmberg]

No, you don't have a partner. If you have a necklace best friend, you're not having sex. In fact, the necklace will probably just say, you're not going to use me for payment, are you? Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, Byron. I was [e-mail]'s website. You have everything, and the prices are incredible.

[Byron]

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys, and more. The best part is, if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[Brett Vesely]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[Byron]

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[Brett Vesely]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP. Guns.com. hey, it's Brett Vesely. Look your AC has been working hard for you all summer long, so give it some love with Patrick Riley. Heating, cooling, plumbing and drains. Right now you can get a $59 H VAC system check, which includes a full equipment inspection, refrigerant level check, and free electronic leak detection. And that's a $99 value. Need a new system?

[John Holmberg]

No problem.

[Brett Vesely]

Score $1,500 off right now. Hot and stuck. Well, they offer emergency same day service. And before you commit, get a free second opinion with no pressure. Go to Patrick RileyServices.

[John Holmberg]

Com.

[Brett Vesely]

That's Patrick RileyServices.

[John Holmberg]

Com.

[Brett Vesely]

Patrick Riley. One call does it all.