Holmberg's Morning Sickness - August 26, 2025 (Full Show / Tuesday)

Podcast: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness, 98KUPD, Arizona
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Date: August 26, 2025
Episode Theme: Classic “Best of” banter and Arizona humor, loaded with stories about Rec League sports, bartering disasters, gross animal tales, wild news, and the zaniest Arizona takes. Unfiltered, hilarious, and deeply rooted in local personality.

Episode Overview

The crew delivers another riotous mix of local storytelling, offbeat news, and signature riffing on sports, Arizona life, and each other’s quirks. Highlights include deep dives into Rec League softball mayhem, a bartering debacle over a borrowed generator, tales of animal grossness (dogs eating cat puke, anyone?), wild listener stories, and a stream of slams, puns, and borderline-inappropriate laughs. No topic is too obscure or too gross for HMS.

Key Segments, Stories, and Insights

1. Rec League Softball and “No Defense for Good Hitting”

[02:28–21:22]

Highlights

• Holmberg and Bogen reminisce about their glory days in rec league softball, laying bare the ferocity and ridiculousness of their competitive streaks.
• Recurring theme: Brady’s ultra-competitive nature—on both tennis court and softball field—outpacing the “just here for fun” crowd.
• Legendary Dave Cooper stories—infamous for purposely targeting the weakest player (usually a woman) at second base and mercilessly celebrating after hitting her with a ball.

Notable Quotes

• On Getting Competitive:
  “The circus line was Brady’s go to, and it was great.” – John [07:18]
• On Dave Cooper:
  “His goal was to smash it at her... and just happened to be a line shot, waist high. Her belly button blew up. And I clap every time.” – John [15:43]
• Brady’s Approach:
  “I was betting on my own team.” – Brady [09:22]
• On Softball Etiquette:
  “You gotta gorilla hump the air. Pretty strong maneuver...” – John [04:16]

Takeaway

The segment morphs from absurd locker-room antics to sharply self-aware comedy about what happens when overgrown boys bring MLB-level ego to the beer league fields.

2. The Great Generator Heist: Barter Gone Wrong

[23:39–46:25]

Highlights

• Brady details how he loaned a generator to a friend (Peter) who never returned it after “lending” it again in a chain of mutual acquaintances and sketchy business ventures.
• The $200/week generator rental turns into an unexpectedly lucrative opportunity that instead, of course, backfires.
• Calls for a new recurring segment: “Brett’s Collections,” in which the crew calls up debtors live and demands the return of borrowed property on behalf of listeners.

Memorable Moments

• Generator Economics:
  “You’re starting a business—she wouldn’t go out and invest in a generator? ... What kind of guy runs an inflatable business without power?” – John [24:05]
• Holmberg’s Solution:
  “We should do a whole day where people have us call people that have some of their belongings and get them back... Brett’s Collections!” – John [25:27]
• On Bartering:
  “Brady’s 90-day supply of food is a two week supply of food. And that's with Kirby and Ronnie not touching it!” – John [34:49]

Takeaway

Nothing spells disaster in Holmberg’s world like bartering with friends—especially when it involves high-ticket items, third-party borrowing, and “too good to be true” deals.

3. Barter Town: The Salvador Dali Debacle & Trash Antiques

[30:57–34:29]

Highlights

• A previous story resurfaces: Brady’s wife once received what turned out to be a Salvador Dali original as barter for services, only to be asked for it back after the value was realized.
• Update: The same family offloads more “priceless” art on Brady’s family—junk in disguise.
• John mocks the perils of accepting payment in “dumped” objects nobody else wants.

Notable Exchange

• “You gotta be the call. I gotta hang it up, return the favor... and bring it back... 'I don’t want this!' I didn’t make the call.” – John [34:05]
• “You're the dump. Just say, no thank you. Yeah, all of her kids said, no thank you.” – John [33:48]

Takeaway

A hilarious caution: Don’t let yourself become the neighborhood landfill by accepting "gifts" and "payment" as barter, especially from retirees clearing out their estate.

4. Outlandish Listener Stories: ALS, Divorce & Cheating Spouses

[50:04–59:00]

Highlights

• At a Feldman show, John and Brady meet a listener diagnosed with ALS—whose wife is cheating on him with a coworker while he’s terminally ill.
• The story transforms into a debate about “S-bag of the Year,” ALS caregiving logistics, and the dark comedy of being “set free” by your spouse’s infidelity.

Notable Quotes

• “Getting rid of her is amazing. That was the best thing that’s happened!” – ALS Listener, paraphrased by John [53:19]
• “So, who’s going to wipe you now?” – John [53:10]
• “If you've got a waitress for a wife, somebody's banging her you don't know about.” – John [57:08]

Takeaway

No matter how dark the topic, the crew finds comic relief in life’s worst betrayals, serving as a grim but oddly uplifting public service.

5. The Great Wasabi Debate: Translucent, Transparent, or White?

[78:41–89:06]

Highlights

• An extended (and increasingly absurd) debate about the true color of authentic wasabi (horseradish paste) in America vs. Japan, devolving into whether food, air, hair, or glass is “clear,” ‘translucent,’ or ‘opaque.’
• Brady’s earnest but baffling attempts to describe “clear” foods leave John in comedic disbelief.

Memorable Lines

• “So, wasabi is... clear?” – John [80:06]
• “Is Wonder Woman’s plane transparent, like wasabi?” – John [86:26]
• “You understand the joke, right?” – John [84:11]

Takeaway

Sometimes it’s the non-sequitur arguments about imaginary sushi that produce the most replayable podcast moments.

6. Dogs Eat Cat Puke: Real Arizona Life

[112:27–132:34]

Highlights

• John reflects on the futility of buying expensive organic dog food while his pets clamor for the “ambrosia” of cat puke and cat turds instead.
• The gang brainstorms a million-dollar idea: Cat-flavored dog food, Cat Yak™, or even Dead Old Man Chow for cats.
• Explore the strange preferences of dogs and why grill marks on dog food are for suckers—us humans.

Notable Exchanges

• “I’m spending thousands of dollars on food that, you know, that I think is good for me. And what we need is cat flavored dog food and puke flavored dog food.” – John [114:38]
• “If you do not clean poop up fast, Bus has become a poop eater. I don’t care. I’ll still let him lick me.” – John [121:24]
• “Dead old people, cat puke and cat crap—that's what they want!” – John [115:55]

Takeaway

Nothing says “Best of Arizona” like a dog-themed deep dive into pet dietary depravity and the racket that is premium dog food.

7. Listener DNA Catastrophe: “Your Baby’s Not Mine!”

[140:56–143:41]

Highlights

• Email from a listener: After a DNA test, he discovers his wife’s baby is actually from her ex-BF and is delighted to bail immediately.
• Philosophical debate: How old can a child be before it becomes heartless to leave after such a discovery?
• “Full Toledoing” (abandoning your kid) is officially a coined expression.

Notable Quote

• “Kiss the baby on the forehead, tell them goodbye and tell them your mom’s a [bleep] and just leave.” – John [141:38]
• "It's not even a full Toledo. It's a half Toledo. Because it's not even your kid." – John [142:25]

Takeaway

If you suspect, DNA test early; run before you get attached.

8. Wild News, Gross-Outs, and Side Topics

• Vietnam Man Inserts Eel Anally, Requires Emergency Surgery:
  “People should never insert live animals through the anus. That's also a warning that has to go out. This is why I don't fly.” [99:00–106:26]
• Fake Exploding Toilets: Prankster Booby-Traps Car Wash Bathrooms
  [90:25]
• AI Robot Dentists: Impending tech takes over the dental chair. [89:47]
• Virtual Companion Necklace, “Friend”: The new Tamagotchi for lonely adults, prompting existential humor on Arizona’s single life. [92:40]

9. Rapid-Fire Entertainment, Local Ads, and News Bites

• Medical Drama Rankings:
  ER, St. Elsewhere, House – all get due props [144:41]
• Diddy's $100 million rape lawsuit (from prison, naturally). [148:16]
• Chester Bennington’s son vs. Linkin Park / Replacement Singer Drama [150:45]
• “Flavor of the Day” Holidays: National Left-Handers Day and Filet Mignon Day [70:57]

Most Notable Quotes & Timestamps

| Quote | Speaker | Timestamp | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------|------------------|-------------| | “The circus line was Brady’s go to, and it was great.” | John Holmberg | 07:18 | | “Brady’s 90-day supply of food is a two week supply of food.” | John Holmberg | 34:49 | | “Getting rid of her is amazing. That was the best thing that’s happened!” | ALS Listener | 53:19 | | “So, wasabi is... clear?” | John Holmberg | 80:06 | | “Kiss the baby on the forehead, tell them goodbye and tell them your mom’s a [bleep] and just leave.” | John Holmberg | 141:38 | | “Dead old people, cat puke and cat crap—that's what they want!” | John Holmberg | 115:55 | | “This is why I don’t fly.” | John Holmberg | 106:26 |

Episode Tone & Style

• Rowdy, irreverent, and steeped in the in-jokes and cultural DNA of Arizona
• Fast-paced, with winding stories, callbacks, and exaggerations for comic effect
• Unapologetically crude at times, but loaded with self-awareness and warmth

For New Listeners

If you’re new to Holmberg’s Morning Sickness, this episode is a crash course in the show’s brand of humor: mix Arizona trivia, sports debacles, neighborhood scams, and the grossest animal anecdotes you’ve ever heard. The crew’s chemistry makes everything—from Bartertown to wasabi color-theory—feel like a party you wish you’d been invited to.

Skip to These Segments:

• Softball, “No Defense for Good Hitting”: [02:28–21:22]
• Generator/Barter Scam, Collections Comedy: [23:39–46:25]
• ALS Listener/Cheating Spouse Story: [50:04–59:00]
• Dogs Eat Cat Poop/Grill Mark Dog Food: [112:27–132:34]
• DNA Test Catastrophe: [140:56–143:41]
• Wasabi Color Madness: [78:41–89:06]
• Vietnam Eel Story: [99:00–106:26]

Final Word

The best-of HMS, as unfiltered and local as it gets—a little bit insane, always endearing, and proof that in Arizona, sometimes it’s still the wild west.