08-26-25 - FULL SHOW - TUESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD BO

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - August 26, 2025 (Full Show / Tuesday)

Podcast: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness, 98KUPD, Arizona
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Date: August 26, 2025
Episode Theme: Classic “Best of” banter and Arizona humor, loaded with stories about Rec League sports, bartering disasters, gross animal tales, wild news, and the zaniest Arizona takes. Unfiltered, hilarious, and deeply rooted in local personality.

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Episode Overview

The crew delivers another riotous mix of local storytelling, offbeat news, and signature riffing on sports, Arizona life, and each other’s quirks. Highlights include deep dives into Rec League softball mayhem, a bartering debacle over a borrowed generator, tales of animal grossness (dogs eating cat puke, anyone?), wild listener stories, and a stream of slams, puns, and borderline-inappropriate laughs. No topic is too obscure or too gross for HMS.

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Key Segments, Stories, and Insights

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1. Rec League Softball and “No Defense for Good Hitting”

[02:28–21:22]

Highlights

• Holmberg and Bogen reminisce about their glory days in rec league softball, laying bare the ferocity and ridiculousness of their competitive streaks.
• Recurring theme: Brady’s ultra-competitive nature—on both tennis court and softball field—outpacing the “just here for fun” crowd.
• Legendary Dave Cooper stories—infamous for purposely targeting the weakest player (usually a woman) at second base and mercilessly celebrating after hitting her with a ball.

Notable Quotes

• On Getting Competitive:
  “The circus line was Brady’s go to, and it was great.” – John [07:18]
• On Dave Cooper:
  “His goal was to smash it at her... and just happened to be a line shot, waist high. Her belly button blew up. And I clap every time.” – John [15:43]
• Brady’s Approach:
  “I was betting on my own team.” – Brady [09:22]
• On Softball Etiquette:
  “You gotta gorilla hump the air. Pretty strong maneuver...” – John [04:16]

Takeaway

The segment morphs from absurd locker-room antics to sharply self-aware comedy about what happens when overgrown boys bring MLB-level ego to the beer league fields.

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2. The Great Generator Heist: Barter Gone Wrong

[23:39–46:25]

Highlights

• Brady details how he loaned a generator to a friend (Peter) who never returned it after “lending” it again in a chain of mutual acquaintances and sketchy business ventures.
• The $200/week generator rental turns into an unexpectedly lucrative opportunity that instead, of course, backfires.
• Calls for a new recurring segment: “Brett’s Collections,” in which the crew calls up debtors live and demands the return of borrowed property on behalf of listeners.

Memorable Moments

• Generator Economics:
  “You’re starting a business—she wouldn’t go out and invest in a generator? ... What kind of guy runs an inflatable business without power?” – John [24:05]
• Holmberg’s Solution:
  “We should do a whole day where people have us call people that have some of their belongings and get them back... Brett’s Collections!” – John [25:27]
• On Bartering:
  “Brady’s 90-day supply of food is a two week supply of food. And that's with Kirby and Ronnie not touching it!” – John [34:49]

Takeaway

Nothing spells disaster in Holmberg’s world like bartering with friends—especially when it involves high-ticket items, third-party borrowing, and “too good to be true” deals.

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3. Barter Town: The Salvador Dali Debacle & Trash Antiques

[30:57–34:29]

Highlights

• A previous story resurfaces: Brady’s wife once received what turned out to be a Salvador Dali original as barter for services, only to be asked for it back after the value was realized.
• Update: The same family offloads more “priceless” art on Brady’s family—junk in disguise.
• John mocks the perils of accepting payment in “dumped” objects nobody else wants.

Notable Exchange

• “You gotta be the call. I gotta hang it up, return the favor... and bring it back... 'I don’t want this!' I didn’t make the call.” – John [34:05]
• “You're the dump. Just say, no thank you. Yeah, all of her kids said, no thank you.” – John [33:48]

Takeaway

A hilarious caution: Don’t let yourself become the neighborhood landfill by accepting "gifts" and "payment" as barter, especially from retirees clearing out their estate.

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4. Outlandish Listener Stories: ALS, Divorce & Cheating Spouses

[50:04–59:00]

Highlights

• At a Feldman show, John and Brady meet a listener diagnosed with ALS—whose wife is cheating on him with a coworker while he’s terminally ill.
• The story transforms into a debate about “S-bag of the Year,” ALS caregiving logistics, and the dark comedy of being “set free” by your spouse’s infidelity.

Notable Quotes

• “Getting rid of her is amazing. That was the best thing that’s happened!” – ALS Listener, paraphrased by John [53:19]
• “So, who’s going to wipe you now?” – John [53:10]
• “If you've got a waitress for a wife, somebody's banging her you don't know about.” – John [57:08]

Takeaway

No matter how dark the topic, the crew finds comic relief in life’s worst betrayals, serving as a grim but oddly uplifting public service.

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5. The Great Wasabi Debate: Translucent, Transparent, or White?

[78:41–89:06]

Highlights

• An extended (and increasingly absurd) debate about the true color of authentic wasabi (horseradish paste) in America vs. Japan, devolving into whether food, air, hair, or glass is “clear,” ‘translucent,’ or ‘opaque.’
• Brady’s earnest but baffling attempts to describe “clear” foods leave John in comedic disbelief.

Memorable Lines

• “So, wasabi is... clear?” – John [80:06]
• “Is Wonder Woman’s plane transparent, like wasabi?” – John [86:26]
• “You understand the joke, right?” – John [84:11]

Takeaway

Sometimes it’s the non-sequitur arguments about imaginary sushi that produce the most replayable podcast moments.

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6. Dogs Eat Cat Puke: Real Arizona Life

[112:27–132:34]

Highlights

• John reflects on the futility of buying expensive organic dog food while his pets clamor for the “ambrosia” of cat puke and cat turds instead.
• The gang brainstorms a million-dollar idea: Cat-flavored dog food, Cat Yak™, or even Dead Old Man Chow for cats.
• Explore the strange preferences of dogs and why grill marks on dog food are for suckers—us humans.

Notable Exchanges

• “I’m spending thousands of dollars on food that, you know, that I think is good for me. And what we need is cat flavored dog food and puke flavored dog food.” – John [114:38]
• “If you do not clean poop up fast, Bus has become a poop eater. I don’t care. I’ll still let him lick me.” – John [121:24]
• “Dead old people, cat puke and cat crap—that's what they want!” – John [115:55]

Takeaway

Nothing says “Best of Arizona” like a dog-themed deep dive into pet dietary depravity and the racket that is premium dog food.

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7. Listener DNA Catastrophe: “Your Baby’s Not Mine!”

[140:56–143:41]

Highlights

• Email from a listener: After a DNA test, he discovers his wife’s baby is actually from her ex-BF and is delighted to bail immediately.
• Philosophical debate: How old can a child be before it becomes heartless to leave after such a discovery?
• “Full Toledoing” (abandoning your kid) is officially a coined expression.

Notable Quote

• “Kiss the baby on the forehead, tell them goodbye and tell them your mom’s a [bleep] and just leave.” – John [141:38]
• "It's not even a full Toledo. It's a half Toledo. Because it's not even your kid." – John [142:25]

Takeaway

If you suspect, DNA test early; run before you get attached.

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8. Wild News, Gross-Outs, and Side Topics

• Vietnam Man Inserts Eel Anally, Requires Emergency Surgery:
  “People should never insert live animals through the anus. That's also a warning that has to go out. This is why I don't fly.” [99:00–106:26]
• Fake Exploding Toilets: Prankster Booby-Traps Car Wash Bathrooms
  [90:25]
• AI Robot Dentists: Impending tech takes over the dental chair. [89:47]
• Virtual Companion Necklace, “Friend”: The new Tamagotchi for lonely adults, prompting existential humor on Arizona’s single life. [92:40]

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9. Rapid-Fire Entertainment, Local Ads, and News Bites

• Medical Drama Rankings:
  ER, St. Elsewhere, House – all get due props [144:41]
• Diddy's $100 million rape lawsuit (from prison, naturally). [148:16]
• Chester Bennington’s son vs. Linkin Park / Replacement Singer Drama [150:45]
• “Flavor of the Day” Holidays: National Left-Handers Day and Filet Mignon Day [70:57]

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Most Notable Quotes & Timestamps

| Quote | Speaker | Timestamp | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------|------------------|-------------| | “The circus line was Brady’s go to, and it was great.” | John Holmberg | 07:18 | | “Brady’s 90-day supply of food is a two week supply of food.” | John Holmberg | 34:49 | | “Getting rid of her is amazing. That was the best thing that’s happened!” | ALS Listener | 53:19 | | “So, wasabi is... clear?” | John Holmberg | 80:06 | | “Kiss the baby on the forehead, tell them goodbye and tell them your mom’s a [bleep] and just leave.” | John Holmberg | 141:38 | | “Dead old people, cat puke and cat crap—that's what they want!” | John Holmberg | 115:55 | | “This is why I don’t fly.” | John Holmberg | 106:26 |

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Episode Tone & Style

• Rowdy, irreverent, and steeped in the in-jokes and cultural DNA of Arizona
• Fast-paced, with winding stories, callbacks, and exaggerations for comic effect
• Unapologetically crude at times, but loaded with self-awareness and warmth

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For New Listeners

If you’re new to Holmberg’s Morning Sickness, this episode is a crash course in the show’s brand of humor: mix Arizona trivia, sports debacles, neighborhood scams, and the grossest animal anecdotes you’ve ever heard. The crew’s chemistry makes everything—from Bartertown to wasabi color-theory—feel like a party you wish you’d been invited to.

Skip to These Segments:

• Softball, “No Defense for Good Hitting”: [02:28–21:22]
• Generator/Barter Scam, Collections Comedy: [23:39–46:25]
• ALS Listener/Cheating Spouse Story: [50:04–59:00]
• Dogs Eat Cat Poop/Grill Mark Dog Food: [112:27–132:34]
• DNA Test Catastrophe: [140:56–143:41]
• Wasabi Color Madness: [78:41–89:06]
• Vietnam Eel Story: [99:00–106:26]

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Final Word

The best-of HMS, as unfiltered and local as it gets—a little bit insane, always endearing, and proof that in Arizona, sometimes it’s still the wild west.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady Bogans]

He's a foodie.

[John Holmberg]

She gave me a look. She gave me a look. You were talking. She gives me one of those. And I walked over and I said, I need this conversation. And this guy's telling. And then Brady got called out yesterday by another person. This was a great story. Guy goes, and you were standing right behind us. And he goes, I've been listening to you for a while. He goes, I play tennis. I love tennis. And he goes, I was playing with a guy who said, I tried to introduce him to the morning sickness. And he goes, hey, I played tennis with a guy in the radio. And he said, we played doubles once. And he said his name. We're for, like, kupd. And the guy said, oh, my gosh. Yeah, his name was Todd. And he goes, yeah. And he said, what a dick about Brady. And I'm telling. I'm sitting there laughing at the story. I'm like, brady's right behind you. You got to tell him the story. I'm like, what'd he do? Evidently, you played doubles, and he was your partner. And he slammed one into the. Into the net.

[Brady Bogans]

My partner was Todd.

[John Holmberg]

And, like, there's.

[Brady Bogans]

There's two Todd's I remember playing with.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it doesn't matter which Todd, because.

[Brady Bogans]

Your reaction, whoever the partner is, they're getting it.

[John Holmberg]

And he turned. That's exactly right. And the guy brought that up. He goes, yeah, it made me laugh, because when you hit him with a racquetball and he started screaming about playing with amateurs, and I'm like, I'm the only other one in the room. Brady, I know who you're talking about. And evidently, the guy hit the fence, and Brady turned and flexed on him and just screamed.

[Brady Bogans]

Tanked his volley in the net.

[John Holmberg]

And you gave him a. And you flexed on your own teammate and gave him a King Kong scream. The guy's like, what a dick. I made a mistake. And you evidently reprimanded him with primate behavior, which I think is hilarious.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah, I couldn't recall that. I don't.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogans]

Is it? That would have been the one and only time.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe pretty good.

[Brady Bogans]

But I've been mad at partis missing and vice versa.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady Bogans]

I'm, you know, match point or whatever. You can't. You got to be careful on that. But if you're always playing with it and they're doing the same thing over.

[John Holmberg]

And over again, you got a gorilla hump the air. It was a Pretty strong maneuver, but.

[Brady Bogans]

I, I, you know. And you've got the only one on.

[John Holmberg]

The hilarious Teddy partner. Oh, it's hilarious. Yeah, but that's a move. Instead of turning, going, come on, pick it up. Well, turned around.

[Brady Bogans]

The only reason that would come out is probably 19 or 20. Come on, you can do this.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and then you flexed on him. Come on, Magic Man. I forgot his name. When we used to play rec league softball, Brady was the pitcher. And when the team started having trouble, you got frustrated and you'd start hearing, come on, knock off the circus.

[Brady Bogans]

It was mostly a Joe Libman. And if you went to the Dirty Drummer and had a few beers, he.

[John Holmberg]

Was mad about the drinking and actually having a good time.

[Brady Bogans]

Get the game together.

[John Holmberg]

It's rec league softball. Right, but he was very competitive and serious about that. And I'm competitive, too.

[Brady Bogans]

Hold together.

[John Holmberg]

No, everybody called you a dick. And what happened was Brady's being a dick. We're all having fun.

[Brady Bogans]

We did rad le in Seattle, and.

[John Holmberg]

We had a cooler, the circus. Then we used to start screaming around, supposed to be a circus, Right? Enough with the circus.

[Brady Bogans]

What station were you playing?

[John Holmberg]

No, that was Eagle and stuff.

[Brady Bogans]

We were boy Scouts compared to some of the people.

[John Holmberg]

Also awesome. But yeah, we were.

[Brady Bogans]

It was a good team, which makes it fun if you want to go out there and muck your muck around.

[John Holmberg]

He's already getting mad again. If you want to muck around, there's no harm in that. There's nothing wrong with being the 0 and 13 song.

[Brady Bogans]

There's nothing wrong with that. You're not getting a chance in another team.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not gonna be on that garbage team. Oh, well, yeah. I'm 25.

[Brady Bogans]

Nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Look, if I'm playing with a bunch of fun people in a rec league, I'll do my part. But I can't help that, you know, the girls are awful.

[Brady Bogans]

And it's fun when you're playing good.

[John Holmberg]

At a good level again. Yeah, but when you're beating the tart of the terrible team, it doesn't matter. But the the circus line was Brady's go to, and it was great. And then we had another guy named Dave Cooper who could be listening right now, who took it even more seriously than Brady. And once I don't see him taking anything seriously. Oh, my God. You've never seen anything like it. And that's the one that I always say on the air was the the worst moment in rec league softball I've ever seen. You had to have a girl play in A position nobody hit to. Everybody's right handed. So the second baseman. And usually. Yeah, right field and second base. You have a girl and you stick a girl in the catcher. The good girls can play center. We had a great one named Becky Joy. And then occasionally we'd have a girl playing catcher. We had a few good ones. So one time, Cooper sees the weakness in the offense in a close game, and that's the girl at second. So he bats left handed and drives a ball directly into her guts. And I mean, just overre slobbering ovaries all out of her. Just. I mean, ovum popping out like a. Like a confetti poof. Eggs everywhere. I was gonna say she lost all her eggs. She wasn't pregnant, but a baby fell out. It was just a brutal smash. She's down for the. And he's circling the base. He's circling first and screams, no defense for good hitting.

[Brady Bogans]

The Pete Rose clap.

[John Holmberg]

It gives the no defense for good hitting. Yeah, well, this lady had a hysterectomy via softball. I've never seen anything like it. Pride. He took great pride in the fact that that was his goal. Smash it at the weakling and hit her as hard as you can in the puss box and drop her. And then taunt her. Taunt her with rounding first, a routine shot at the second baseman. You don't round first. You do if she's dead and ball's laying there, the whole team's surrounding her. She's crying, blood is pouring out of her genitals. We usually. In Seattle, in the radio league, we.

[Brady Bogans]

Just tried not to give the other teams any content.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that was a big thing. Yeah, well, we didn't care. We were the radio station. And all the others were like, lavich, Eagle's a buyer. And then we had a couple. Yeah, it was like a lot of, like, salespeople and then some. We were with the Zone Sons. Always had a son. We were good. We were very good. But the reason why is because we had guys like Brady and Dave Cooper who were willing to beat women to win softball games. No circus here. And I got competitive to the point where once I nearly killed the lady with a bat.

[Brady Bogans]

And then you gave up?

[John Holmberg]

No, I started popping the ball up, hitting. I could smash. And I'm popped up. I popped up the first, and I'm like, God damn it. And I'm running down the first baseline. I go to throw the bat down. It was just a perfect shot. It hits the handle, goes over the fence, and I just See two girls talking on the bench. And that thing is going right towards him. And it hit her in the leg. And I've never seen immediate bruising, but it was immediate on her leg. And I just stopped. Like, I'm so sorry. Some guy goes, hey, watch your temper. And I'm like. Like, I planned that. And now I'm mad at him. And then she comes around the corner crying. And then Dave Cooper comes up, and he goes, no defense for good hitting. I'm like, oh, my God. Not now, Dave. Yeah, Rec league softball. Enough circus. That team we're playing's drunk. It's already a circus. Get it together. I'm not losing to these. Yeah, it's enough.

[Brady Bogans]

I was betting on my own team.

[John Holmberg]

I know we were good enough that we could be drunk and get it done. We went to the dirty. It was 44th street in Oak. We went. Occasionally would meet up at the dirty. I never got a chance. There was a dirty drum right down the road. Oh, yeah. And it's still dirty. And it's still the dirty drum. The fields are. Yeah. Around, I think. Yeah, they're there. And we.

[Brady Bogans]

Oh, that's big. Homeless people right there by that Costco.

[John Holmberg]

A nice area. Well, there's homeless people all over the place, but, yes. There's no reason to bring that up. Well, they.

[Brady Bogans]

Maybe they have a team you could play.

[John Holmberg]

We would have. And Brady and Dave would have hurt them. This is why you're homeless. Maybe if you laid off the heroin and had the glove on the right hand, you'd be better at the game.

[Brady Bogans]

Let's go, Needles.

[John Holmberg]

Another reason your parents are disappointed. You can't bat with that. That's a hypodermic. Do you have a dollar? No, not for you. I'm sorry. Here's a dollar. Yeah, that's pre parent Brady.

[Brady Bogans]

He would have been.

[John Holmberg]

Why don't you give that guy a little methadone? He's out. I gotcha. Strikeout number three. Out of the way, Kovacs. I'm seeing nothing but butterflies, man. Yeah, I got him stymied at the bags.

[Brady Bogans]

Let's go, Fisher kid.

[John Holmberg]

It was pretty awesome to watch. I've seen Brady a couple of times get competitive. And I'm competitive. I get that one. But it was fun in rec league softball because I would laugh. I found it. I'm third base, and I'm sitting there laughing when somebody. Boot one.

[Brady Bogans]

What position did Cooper play?

[John Holmberg]

He was all over. He was outfield mostly.

[Brady Bogans]

Good defense.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he has a career.

[Brady Bogans]

Like bats975.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He would keep his stats. Coop was serious about softball. I mean, Uncle Rico serious about. And he was good. Like, the worst part was he played like in 14. That's all he did. I don't even know if he worked for a while in his life. I think he just traveled the world playing softball. No defense for good hitting is still my favorite. That girl's ovaries are ruined. She'll never have children. I've never seen a softball travel on more of a heat seeking target than it came off of that Easton bat. Yellow ball, boom. And just screamed. You could hear the sizzle as it floated through the air and it smashed her in the guts.

[Brady Bogans]

And if he couldn't drill the second baseman, he'd take her out for a double play.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he'd spike, he'd clean. We had a couple warnings about banging into the second basement or standing with your hands up. I threw a ball once. I could, I still throw, but I used to throw pretty hard. And I made a girl scream. She was our first baseman, Natalie Niekro.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Daughter of one of Joe Nekro. And I got a grounder at third and pulled, you know, my old baseball skills out and I whipped it over to first. Actually, it was a line drive. I caught it and the guy on first had strayed.

[Brady Bogans]

Double play.

[John Holmberg]

And I whip it over to first. And I could hear as I threw it. And I see her glove go up. And then I hear she just moved out of the way. And I'm like, you're Joe Niekro's daughter. How can you not catch? It has to just be ingrained in you. He's a professional pitcher for 22 years. Then I'm like, knuckleballer. She didn't know what heat looked like. He threw knucklers at her. She was used to a dancing ball, not a straight. She ran from she's first baseman and she ran from the throw. Cooper immediately cut her from the team. He was sent down that get down.

[Brady Bogans]

And give me 25.

[John Holmberg]

But I felt terrible about it. But that sizzle was sweet. I've never had. I've never thrown anything at somebody that isn't on fire. That made them scream and run from it. But she got out of the way right on time. Ball just goes flying off into the park. This guy I was gonna double down starts rounding the bases. I'm like, that's gotta be a one base rule here. And then what do you hear? Enough circus. They just can't help it. Joe Nicro's daughter ran from the throw.

[Brady Bogans]

I was yelling at her.

[John Holmberg]

You were right. You gotta be better than that, chief. My name's John. Hey, co worker. You can't go hucking balls at chicks like that, all right? You realize what you just said, right?

[Brady Bogans]

John, Was Eddie Webb on your team? Because I used to play against those guys all the time over at Riverview and at Spook Hill.

[John Holmberg]

Spooky Hill headers, they've got parks. Let's not talk about bringing back old times.

[Brady Bogans]

Because we had a dude just like.

[John Holmberg]

That guy on our. Oh, I, I, I'm not kidding that.

[Brady Bogans]

There's one on every team.

[John Holmberg]

Okay? But no, there's not. Dave Cooper takes it to another level. Nobody's ever.

[Brady Bogans]

Well, there's, I would say the. Yeah, no, Cooper's one. There's never been a guy that was playing. There's usually one guy that was. I have some aaa.

[John Holmberg]

Who cares? There's never been a guy who has given a woman endometriosis on the. Never given a woman endomet on the softball field and clapped. Gotcha, bitch. That's what your gloves for.

[Brady Bogans]

Let's go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, looks like you're glopping out. What is that? Looks like I busted your mesh.

[Brady Bogans]

Did you play her again that season or was she.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she was dead. She was dead. Well, she wheeled in. We had a ceremony before the next game. It's like, oh, she's back. It was a Demar Hamlin of our entire deal. We all wore patches.

[Brady Bogans]

Cooper's like, let's go. Get the stretcher.

[John Holmberg]

Let's go, let's go. All right, go to your bench. We're up five. Let's go. The tight, tight game. Well, it was because it was one of the good teams, but the weakness was still second base. Oh, I can still hear the dull thud of that softball ending her. Her motherly bumps. She's J.D. vance's nightmare lady because she's at home with two cats just cursing softball.

[Brady Bogans]

And then Fox Sports would always have a team with former, you know, Jenny Finch.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they had some good players.

[Brady Bogans]

All girls were college.

[John Holmberg]

And that was the tough one because you couldn't get it past the chicks. Which Dave Cooper's plan was Hurt the ladies. Oh, it was great. There is that night. And I still, when I see him, I still scream. There's no defense for good hitting. I don't know that I ever said that. Home daddy. I'm like, I sure. You sure did. And you know who remembers that the most? The ghost of that lady's future. Because the babies that shot out of her, her like you could. Like, it was like a time Casper. Tons of Caspers like her. Evidently, she was gonna just lift it. Yeah, she was gonna have three kids. Because when the softball hit her, her three future kids ghosted up to heaven. He hit her so hard. It was awesome. It was awesome. And it was his plan. The best part was it wasn't an accident. His goal was to smash it at her. And it just happened to be a line shot, waist high.

[Brady Bogans]

We need the base runners.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we needed a guy on base. We needed somebody to get the inning started. And when he went up left handed, I'm like, coop's trying to go to second. And did he ever. Her belly button blew up. And I clap every. My friend Colin, I told him that story. And every time something horrible happens to a lady, we both go, all right. And then Colin will and everybody. No defense for good. Hit it. Like if somebody. If a girl drops a tray at a restaurant. Oh, it's the best softball league. I kind of miss softball league because.

[Brady Bogans]

It'S a good time.

[John Holmberg]

Once we kicked ass, and we were. The problem, Brady, was we were way too proud of the achievement. Because really in, you know, you can say, oh, I wanted to be good at this. And then when you walk away and go, what did we really just do?

[Brady Bogans]

The rec leagues have classes here, like.

[John Holmberg]

A, B, C and D. Oh, this was. Yeah, this was D. Was. D is total wreck.

[Brady Bogans]

No skills, no nothing.

[John Holmberg]

I played in the men's league. That was a B league. Yeah. And that was pretty competitive. But the A league, well, that was another one that was fun when all those dudes showed up in Under Armour and I started. Well, yeah. One guy's in an Under Armour suit, shorts, shirt, and it's just tight. And then he started mouthing off like, come on, boys, let's do this. He's one of those. Come on, boys. Gotta be there, boys. Let's go, boys. And I started laughing. He's on second base. And I looked at him. And another guy with Under Armour comes up. And I just started going, we must protect this house. Yeah. And. And the guy goes, you're just jealous, aren't you? And I'm like, oh, I'm wildly envious of your tights. F you, man. I'm like, it's softball. Calm her down a little bit, Kingman. You're all right. You go to the hurt. Calm it down there. You. You never made it. Settle down there, guy. And then, of course, the next ball would go by and he'd take a pitch. They're coming in like one mile an hour. Gotta take one. Know what strike zone is? We must protect this house. You played the pikes pretty. Oh, I would scream that at them because they're in Under Armour. That was. I'm like, they're sponsored. I'm gonna give out your tagline. I think I hated them. And I didn't ever mouth off a lot. I always laughed it, but that one got me. Guess protecting the house looking pretty good. Hey, can I suggest next time a pair of pants. You're in your underwear, you dumbass. It's Under Armour. That means stuff. Supposed to go over it. Protecting the house. Oh, I understand. The house needs protection. You guys got a full on security system going on for the house. But put a T shirt on over that. You're making everybody playing adt. Is it because you're choked? It's because you're chunky. You're chunky. You couldn't. You couldn't wear this. I'm like, I maybe a little chunky, but also wouldn't wear that. You look ridiculous. You're an Under Armour. It says it all over you. The word under is placed all over your body. Where's the over armor? I want to see what religion you are. Put that thing away. Those are compression shorts to be worn under other shorts. What, are you going to bike to Montana after the game? Oh, it's hilarious. You're just jealous. Oh, yeah. No, that's what I am sky high. Jealousy exists when I see a man in tights. Like, wish I could do that. I wish I could be an embarrassment to my family out loud in public. Oh. But then that lady and the whole team, her whole team dropped their gloves and ran to her aid. Thus they saw her babies ghost up to heaven. Cooper was the only one on the field. He's rounding the bases. Meanwhile, the girls in our dugout are crying because it hurt their V's. Oh, yeah. Oh, it entered her. She's. And I guarantee you find it hilarious that he took advantage and just kept going. Guarantee. Well, he was proud of himself. I guarantee you that that lady's 20 something years later. One time when I was playing softball.

[Brady Bogans]

When I was fertile, I had my uterus exploded.

[John Holmberg]

How? Some guy just crushed a ball into my guts and then celebrated it. I think he did it on purpose. He's Nancy Kerrigan laid there. See those Saving Private Ryan videos where the guy's looking down, he's holding his intestines. That was her just looking down, looking around. You're okay, Wally. Put morphine in and just holding his arm, walking around on the field.

[Brady Bogans]

I got hit. I think it might have been Gallagher, but I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

He looked a little like Gallagher at the time. I didn't realize. I'm almost positive he did it on purpose. So that's why I have eight cats. I'm not allowed to make babies. I had my ovaries scrambled by a softball player. I'm 44th street and Oak, behind the skate land.

[Brady Bogans]

She didn't go anywhere. She end up living there.

[John Holmberg]

She died. That lady's got the. She had the lady cancer so bad. Within, like, an hour of that game. Like, tumors just shot up everywhere in the shapes of little. And they had little threads on them. Like, her tumors were neat to the doctor because they had stitching. They were in the form. They were in the form of a ball. Like, oh, you have baseball cancer. Oh. And if you're. If you know her because she's told the story. And then I'm pretty sure that said, there's no defense for good hitting. And then I passed out.

[Brady Bogans]

Who scored the winning run? 98.

[John Holmberg]

That's it. We got him. Despite all the distractions and the EMTs, we got the game underhand.

[Brady Bogans]

We played hard today, cuz.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the other. And it was. I don't know that he scored the winning running. Technically, he did because they had to forfeit for the death. So we got to.

[Brady Bogans]

You're down a man.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Look, if you're going to forfeit, we get the run. Whoever's on base gets the credit for the scoring the winning run. We got him last night, huh? Home daddy. I'm like, Dave, you killed a woman. I don't care. No excuse for. No excuse for bad defense. Yeah. That's a fact. Anyway, so if you want to play softball with us, you can do that. Brady's mean in tennis courts, but nobody's worse than the great Dave Cooper. That's one of my favorite things. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Hey, you want to win? $979. Well, check this out. Handle the Heat is back with another chance to win and another chance to check out a Holmberg special on the menu at Native Grill and Wings. That's right. Join the HMS Crew at Native Grill and Wings during one of our 4U brews for a chance to participate in Handle the Heat. That's Holmberg's hot wing eating contest. For details on all the contest rules, head to 98kupd.com think you can handle the heat? Well, bring your appetite and find Out. It's all brought to you by Native Grill and Wings. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group. And Doug hopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street. For me, that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this, though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd have just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house, cash. As is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or sing 800 sale now. All right, HMS podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Well, just in case you haven't been paying attention or if you've been mia, we'll let you know that Frank Caliendo is going to be performing at the Desert Ridge Improv this Friday and Saturday night. So tune in. Frank's going to be in with the guys all week long. And just maybe we'll have tickets for you to go catch Frank live up north at Desert Ridge for the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com cease and desist at once. The rest of homework's morning sickness. This is the big red radio.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So long as you. You. You'd be miserable without, you know, eating rice every day. By the third day, you'd kill burnout. You'd be done. Do they got generators and everything? Is everybody putting generators in the houses over there?

[Brady Bogans]

And there's some. Yeah, I. I had a debut a guy use it for.

[John Holmberg]

Never got it back.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Who used it. Call that dude out. Yeah, Peter, let's go.

[Brady Bogans]

Peter Kaufman.

[John Holmberg]

He stole your generator.

[Brady Bogans]

He's gonna give me my generator.

[John Holmberg]

He's gonna get you your generator?

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah, he had a friend that had. Was doing those parties, the inflatable things.

[John Holmberg]

And he took birthday party. Wait a minute. He had the inflatables and no generator?

[Brady Bogans]

Well, it's. Yeah. This is a long story.

[John Holmberg]

Like I said. Well, no, it's not. I'm interested. I was a guy still here.

[Brady Bogans]

He's like, can I borrow your generator for this lady? And she'll Basically pay you to borrow the generator, get the money.

[John Holmberg]

At least.

[Brady Bogans]

I got nothing, right?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and. And a generator. You got scammed right now it's looking that way. What kind of guy runs an inflatable business without power?

[Brady Bogans]

It's a lady. I don't even know her friend. Peter's been a stand up guy up until obviously.

[John Holmberg]

When did this happen?

[Brady Bogans]

Let's say a year.

[John Holmberg]

A year ago. And if you taught her, you said, where's my generator?

[Brady Bogans]

He'll get it squared up.

[John Holmberg]

No, today. So I'm gonna give you a check today. No, when you talk to him, just. Yeah, let's call Peter. What's the deal with the generator? In fact, we should do a whole day where people have us call people that have some of their belongings and get them back. Let's collect. We should do collections today. This is the thing. Brett's collections. We're gonna put Brett on the. How you doing? Understand? You got the generator of Brady Bogans. We're gonna have Brett, we're gonna Italian Godfather call people today. Now that's the whole show. I don't care what else we do today. We're collecting. Everybody's borrowed something from someone else. I know. I currently have an extension cord from my friend Mark. And the funny thing was he said, I want that back. I'm like, you got it. And I wrote my name and address on the thing that holds it. And then he comes through, he goes, that's mine. And I'm like, well, I mean, clearly it's not. It's got my name and address on it. You're such a dick. And so I give it back to him. And every time I go to his house, I take it home. It's mine. So I go in the garage. So it's. I have it. But that's more of a joke between friends, right? Your guy Peter stole your generator. I think Peter owes you, you know? Yeah, he stood up for this broad. He vouched. Yeah. Peter is the guy, not some lady. You said yes to Peter. Yeah, you need that generator back, too. Sweet. You want to call Peter this morning? Are you still. Yeah, we might be able to. Yeah, we'll call him in just a few minutes. And we'll have. We'll have Brett and his people. They'll be handling this. Absolutely. No problem, I think. Are you nervous about this? You seem like you're a powerful Jewish man. Oh, well, then John needs to talk to him. I don't speak that language. I talk to him. Yeah, but I still. I still need Brett's Backup. I got you. Yeah, I know my people have Brett's backup. That's. I've watched a lot of movies in the. And the Jews usually have a couple of Italian guys that are in, like, I'm in with you guys. Yeah. What was his name in Sopranos? The Jewish guy that I'm. Hesh. That's perfect. I have no Peter. Shalom, friend. I understand you need a little inexp.

[Brady Bogans]

Generation of power a few weeks ago.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe a year, for a lonely old lady who had inflatables and no juice. No juice? No. No juice. How in the world did that lady say, Peter, I need a generator for the inflatable I bought. Plug it into your house or go buy one or. Yeah, you own a business that needs it. Why did you feel obligated to give Peter your generator? Just because.

[Brady Bogans]

Well, no, he said you got one, and I had, and I did, and it was going to turn out to be a pretty good deal.

[John Holmberg]

How much?

[Brady Bogans]

200 bucks a week.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you were renting it out for a long time.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah. I mean, she can use 200 a.

[John Holmberg]

Weekend, but you can buy a generator for, like, nothing. And, like, how many weekends have we had now? So since then.

[Brady Bogans]

Well, like, if you get the. Like a Honda General, whatever those are, two or three grand.

[John Holmberg]

I just got one from Luke at icon for 50 bucks. Generator? Yeah, he has an old one. He's like, you want a generator? And I'm like, I don't even know if I need one. He goes, I've got one. I'm not using it. Cost me 50 bucks. I'll give it to you for 50 bucks. I gotta call Luke. All right.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah, they're pretty handy.

[John Holmberg]

I've never had it. I don't know that I'll ever.

[Brady Bogans]

But the thing is, is, like, I was thinking when I got it.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, you know, I got. I got something for you, kid. It's in the garage for 200 every time you need it. 200 bucks a weekend. That's a good deal.

[Brady Bogans]

I'm like, I'm in.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely. I'm in the season.

[Brady Bogans]

It. The. You know, obviously they're not doing too much in the summer.

[John Holmberg]

Too good to be true is the answer to that one. 200 bucks for a generator week. And my first question is, you're starting a business. Is that what she was doing?

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And she wouldn't go out and invest in a generator.

[Brady Bogans]

I never met the lady. It was just.

[John Holmberg]

Did you. Did you have to cut anything out of, like, pages out of books and send cash to anybody? Who was a general or anything. No, this is like that. Yeah, this is a Griffin.

[Brady Bogans]

It was one of those things where you. You did it. You're like, all right. The guy. You know you're still friends with the.

[John Holmberg]

Dude falling for 600. $600?

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

479. Brett's pulled up a whole page of gems.

[Brady Bogans]

Those are the ones that they use. Is probably like the 22.95.

[John Holmberg]

That's the one you had. No, I'll get on the phone. I was gonna say. How much was yours?

[Brady Bogans]

Seven or eight hundred bucks.

[John Holmberg]

And this lady was going to rent it for 200 a weekend. A weekend?

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah. If she had an event on the weekend, she would just built. Filled that in there. 200 that.

[John Holmberg]

She's a. Now she's going out of business in a heartbeat. We're getting that now.

[Brady Bogans]

Who's the.

[John Holmberg]

You are. Me. You are. You are. You know what? You better start cooking that rice because I don't think you're gonna make it. You get duped when there's no doomsday. Losing the generator. Imagine what's going to happen when the. When the flim. Flip man comes to town promising you the world. When the world's come to an end.

[Brady Bogans]

Here's. And the. The other thing about it is, okay, you finally. You get that generator back. I've never used it.

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Brady Bogans]

So someone used it for a year and a half.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, years.

[Brady Bogans]

And here I got your generator back.

[John Holmberg]

And where's my cash?

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You're indignant little. Yeah. Is. Yeah. You act like you had something. You know, you got. You got duped on this one.

[Brady Bogans]

Even if it's just sitting in a garage.

[John Holmberg]

When's the last time? Yeah, but it's not. It's not in your garage. That's the key. When's the last time you said, hey, Peter, it's been a.

[Brady Bogans]

It's been four or five months since.

[John Holmberg]

You brought it up. Yeah, we're calling Peter. This is ridiculous. This all started because a guy's got a Malibu in a driveway. Turns out we're gonna save Brady's life. Remember that? Yeah. You were here for the Dolly painting, right? Dolly Brady. Oh, yeah. Well, I think that happened before me.

[Brady Bogans]

Got a little update on that.

[John Holmberg]

And it was a. Brady was paid because they're in Bartertown. His wife was paid.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah, this is Ronnie Steele.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but still you've taught her Bartertown. Instead of just taking money for service, some lady said, I'm not gonna give you money. Here's a drawing we keep in our Garage. And it turned out it was a Salvador Dali original. Then she can't. Then she comes, I don't care who the it is. You pay with money or you run into these problems.

[Brady Bogans]

You know, John.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogans]

That when the husband got home, you ain't giving that away.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady Bogans]

Because he makes the call on that.

[John Holmberg]

But that would be because they know they can start, you know, bartering with items rather than money. Write me a check and give me the value of whatever. Because if you don't, you find out what you gave me was too much, we're in a fight. Or if it's too little, we're in a fight. So the lady comes banging on the door, give me my Salvador dolly back. That was money.

[Brady Bogans]

So I got it. I got an Antiques Roadshow caper update.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. Same aunt, same lady.

[Brady Bogans]

They. They're in the process because they're going to a retirement home now.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogans]

They're selling everything.

[John Holmberg]

That guy's still around.

[Brady Bogans]

There's going to be an estate sale, whatever, later.

[John Holmberg]

Wasn't he kind of. There's both still alive back then, right?

[Brady Bogans]

Well, he had a. He had stroke and then he recovered and.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, good.

[Brady Bogans]

So anyway, they're going through their stuff. Years of collecting.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. And reclaim.

[Brady Bogans]

She still comes over and she gave us another painting.

[John Holmberg]

No. You just say no?

[Brady Bogans]

She just said, I wanted you.

[John Holmberg]

It wasn't payment.

[Brady Bogans]

And she's also said a couple of times that one. That. That we did have. Yeah, we want you guys to have.

[John Holmberg]

Where is it?

[Brady Bogans]

You gotta. I mean, they said, go collect.

[John Holmberg]

I've heard that before. We're gonna call them, too, but there's the replacement. The hell is that? I don't know. Some old fat man having a beer, painting.

[Brady Bogans]

And I've been trying to look.

[John Holmberg]

No, you just say, no, thank you. Where's the no, thank you? Is that at your house?

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah, it's at the house.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, you just say no, thank you to people who try to pay you in garbage.

[Brady Bogans]

I came home and this was there.

[John Holmberg]

Tell Johnny better you need to stop doing it and teach your wife and child that barter town is over. This is not. No. This is not fun.

[Brady Bogans]

And here I just want to hear that.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Sorry. This was done by a retarded German child in 1993. Someone did our portraits back in the day. How much did you spend on this? Well, my wife gave away 30 years of service to a lady and a couple of thousand years worth of cheese and rice. It's worth about 11.

[Brady Bogans]

She was into my wife for a.

[John Holmberg]

Year, so she told You. This has value.

[Brady Bogans]

No, she didn't say anything.

[John Holmberg]

She just said, I want you to.

[Brady Bogans]

Have our going through stuff. And don't.

[John Holmberg]

No one wants this in the pecking.

[Brady Bogans]

Order of the kids.

[John Holmberg]

And you got what nobody wanted. You got the dump down.

[Brady Bogans]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She's cleaning her house and she's like, I can't throw this.

[Brady Bogans]

There's still more cleaning to do.

[John Holmberg]

You're the. You're the dump. Just say, no, thank you. Yeah. All of her kids said, no, thank you.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah, they passed on that one. They've passed on a couple of things.

[John Holmberg]

And they end up in your duties out there. You're the last ditch. Yes. Oh, Brady, I didn't have the call on that one. Yeah, I know.

[Brady Bogans]

You know, it goes good in the middle.

[John Holmberg]

You need to make the call. I gotta hang it up, return the favor of what they did in the first place and bring it back. Back and go, I don't want this. I didn't make the call. Here. Remember when you did this to me with the dolly thing and you came back and said, this is no good. Give it back. I'm doing the same thing with this. How long. How long did the dolly stay before it got repossessed?

[Brady Bogans]

Month or two.

[John Holmberg]

All right. How long you had this one?

[Brady Bogans]

About the same. A month.

[John Holmberg]

All right, it's coming. Here's how it works. Could be. Christopher says there's no room. In the end, though, Peter vouched for that broad with Brady's generator. And doing that, it becomes his debt. Yep. Collect a generator and a handsome fee or give him a limp. There you go. He knows how it works. Brady's 90 day supply of food is a two week supply of food. And that's with Kirby and Ronnie not touching it.

[Brady Bogans]

We didn't get into that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. They're not getting any of that. I know. Who's that? I know. I know what goes on there. They're getting pushed out to the wolves. Wow. That's it. Remember, in. It's this member in. Brady's not telling you something. In Breaking Bad, that old lady gave money to her drug addicted son to buy a generator. And he spent the whole wad on drugs, so he went to Brady's to borrow the generator. That's exactly what happened in Breaking Bad. The lady gave money to the kid. You go buy the generator, and he bought drugs instead. And then he needed to bring a generator home, so he robbed a guy. That's exactly what Peter just did to you.

[Brady Bogans]

It's one of those situations where it's like It's a head scratcher. So here's the Dude. This generator would be nothing. I mean, it's no big deal.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not. For your. No, no.

[Brady Bogans]

For him. As far as it's not. It's not like he's a drug problem. He's hurting for money, right? It's quite the opposite.

[John Holmberg]

But why have him get you a new generator plus a handsome fee? Yeah, you got late fees on there too.

[Brady Bogans]

I gotta tell you, I. I think.

[John Holmberg]

You owe me some money there, Peter. Along with a brand new generator. I don't want that used piece of back. I don't know what you've been doing with it. It. She can have it. You owe me money. We're calling Peter. We're going to take care of this for you. You're going to be over here and a brand new generator by the end of today. Or maybe, I don't know. Peter's going to have a little issue at his sauce factory. Maybe the bottles just spontaneously stop blowing up. It would be a shame, right, Brett? Be quite a shame if your entire operation was mostly cleanup. I think as Chris Clark says, baseball bats speak all languages. That's exactly right. What kind of profit is that lady running from inflatables to have a $200 a weekend generator? I know she's running some business that is below the line. Absolutely below that. There is no way that's legitimate. If she's willing to kill kick. $200 for generator fees. That's what Pratt used to say. I do bar parties and the owners would tip me five grand. You know what kind of night the owner would have to have for a five thousand dollar tip to the dude going, hey, thanks for coming. He's alive. In those days. So it didn't happen. Yeah, and this was in the early 80s when that $5,000 was 20 grand. I mean, we've had some pretty successful events. I've never had the guy at Four Peaks come over and go, what a night. Here's $20,000 extra for you guys. It's like, wow, what a night. You must have made a hundred thousand dollars profit. $200 on inflatable. How much is it to red inflatables? 400 bucks total for a pretty good setup, I'm guessing. Peter, Peter.

[Brady Bogans]

Barbet, Fist eater.

[John Holmberg]

Peter. Peter. What? Peter, Peter. Fist eater.

[Brady Bogans]

Peter. Peter.

[John Holmberg]

I don't understand what's going on. All right, we're gonna call him Brady. You are indirectly involved in some sort of underground drug operation. There's no way an inflatable Company. Not yet.

[Brady Bogans]

Not until I get paid.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. And it's going to be dirty money. There's no way an inflatable weekend gig can afford 200 in generator expenses.

[Brady Bogans]

It sounded good to me at the time.

[John Holmberg]

It's great for you.

[Brady Bogans]

It's sitting in my garage. You can use it. Buddy. Friendo.

[John Holmberg]

I got a lady start a little inflatable company. One thing she forgot that power. We don't know where to get that. Do you happen to. Oh, I got that. $200 a weekend. Every. Every weekend.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's reasonable.

[Brady Bogans]

In fact, I borrowed another generator from another buddy and I got his back for him.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, that's the point of borrowing.

[Brady Bogans]

A weekend I needed anyway. You can get a second generator. Like I got a friend that has one.

[John Holmberg]

Let me ask you.

[Brady Bogans]

And that took, you know, four weeks to give back. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Would you live far away?

[Brady Bogans]

But it was just sitting in his garage as well.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, that was your generator?

[Brady Bogans]

I ended up getting my generator and then another.

[John Holmberg]

You borrowed a generator for a person who needed a generator?

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But you own one and you had one.

[Brady Bogans]

I had one. And the person, this party lady or whatever needed to them.

[John Holmberg]

So you went out of your way to go borrow another generator, which by the way, you can rent. Yeah, they're like 50 bucks. I was going to say A to Z rentals. Yeah, you can go get generators and keep your costs lower. You're in something. You don't even know your wide eyed rose glasses are in something.

[Brady Bogans]

This might have been for his. This might have been for his kid's birthday.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah, you're. When you say it out loud, you're starting to hear the stupidity, right?

[Brady Bogans]

When you say. Well, no, the stupidity is when you say you could rent one for 50 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogans]

Or a hundred bucks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogans]

You're talking to people that are very tight.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so for 200. So they. They doubled the price and took your generator.

[Brady Bogans]

Well, I'm just saying. Bar Mitzvah's pay.

[John Holmberg]

I bet you robbed the little boy.

[Brady Bogans]

No, I figure she's got not. It's all friends and relatives that go to her party business. She's starting a business, so she has a community that supports her.

[John Holmberg]

Birdie, your generator is sitting in a freshly dug tunnel just outside of Nogales pumping air for smugglers. You have blood on your hands.

[Brady Bogans]

Tunnel should be done.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you can rent one at Home Depot for 85 bucks a day. Or 340 for the week. For a week. Popping two bills to Brady for a.

[Brady Bogans]

Party, basically, for the week. Five a day.

[John Holmberg]

Or you can go four weeks at, you know, 10, 20 if you want to cut her a break. If you want to get it for the month, it's. It's.

[Brady Bogans]

So you're looking at 85 a day. She's gonna turn that thing in on. She'll have it for the weekend.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Pick it up on Friday, drop it off.

[Brady Bogans]

Bucks.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, she wouldn't. I'll tell you this right now.

[Brady Bogans]

She has two parties.

[John Holmberg]

If she's got two parties, 85 bucks a day is fine. If she's running you $200 for the weekend and she's got multiple parties going. Going on, it's still costing her a lot of money.

[Brady Bogans]

I'd be making Home Depot money at four weeks.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brady Bogans]

I should.

[John Holmberg]

How long ago was this, by the way?

[Brady Bogans]

She'd have five weeks with me.

[John Holmberg]

Home Depot doesn't give a. If you have a party or not, so long as you've got it. You're paying that daily fee. Yeah.

[Brady Bogans]

And you're getting a credit card because of that return.

[John Holmberg]

They're going to bang you out, the whole thing. Every day you've got it. You're paying a rental fee. Yeah, sure. You can borrow that. And I might need another one. I don't know. I'll call around. Ready to come borrow Lincoln this weekend. You know what I need this weekend? I need a house. I need a place to stay, but I don't want anybody in it, and I don't like furniture. So if you could get it all out of there. Yeah, we'll call him Peter, and we're gonna look. Ask a few questions in your life, man. Where's my generator? And what really happened there with the party lady? That's a stupid business to start. And you're saying she's so busy, she's having multiple parties on the weekend. She has no generator. Yeah, it wouldn't be worth it to invest. No, it's gone. I don't care if it's gone or not. I still. I've got so many questions about the lady who needed it. She started a business. It's thriving. She's got multiple parties a weekend, and she doesn't think I should invest in one of these instead of paying Brady 200 every time I need it and never give it back. By the way, she's also a great.

[Brady Bogans]

But that's like us been taking the 200 bucks a week.

[John Holmberg]

This lady is absolutely not running an inflatable birthday bar mitzvah party. That's like us starting A radio station with no microphones, Right? And then trips out there going, hey, can I borrow some microphones from somebody? We're pretty excited about this entire operation. But we did forget microphones, Brady. Got a garage full of those. I'll tell you, instead of buying them for our radio station, which is absolutely essential to have, we'll rent them from you because we're idiots. Sure, I got a whole bunch of them. We'll rent those from you because we're too stupid to start a radio station and actually invest in the things you'd need. Hey, Brady, I've got an Uber I want to start, but I don't have a car.

[Brady Bogans]

I got one.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Thank you. Why are you starting doordash with no car? I'll get one.

[Brady Bogans]

You got to build your way up.

[John Holmberg]

No, you just don't do that. Wow. You, sir, are in big trouble. Yeah. The person that you're talking to has an inflatable in the backyard, and they have the generator on, and it looks like they're having a party, but they're cooking meth inside those inflatables. There's no way nobody pays that kind of money for a friendly rent to generate.

[Brady Bogans]

You know, it's kind of like. It's a lesson of, like, lending money.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's a lesson of, no, thank you. Lending money is different because lending money is a moment where you're like, this is. I'm giving this to you, and I don't expect it back, because if I do, we're gonna not be friends. That's essentially it. Lending big fat products to a friend, you expect that back, and if you don't, you can say, hey, where's my one particular item? Oh, boy, this is bad news. You got another one. All this starts because some guy's Malibu in the garage. Alan wants to hear a sledgehammer for Brady's barter song. For, like, a Peter Gabriel. So it begins. Pop Pops getting scammed in his own neighborhood. As the nice guy. I hate to say this, and I knew the day would come. It's time to put him in a home. It's true. For his own safety, so he doesn't just start handing away everything. If that lady's had that for a year, she owes Brady $10,000 rental for that thing. Hold him to it. Yeah, why wouldn't you?

[Brady Bogans]

I need. This is Judy.

[John Holmberg]

He's a Jude. You got it right here. Show me the receipt. You told me. Jewish businessman. 200 a weekend. As long as you had it. Well, we're at a Year now I haven't heard from you. My math. 10 grand owe me a few thousand dollars and my generator back. And I don't want the old used up generator on a brand new one. But I'm gonna cut you a deal. I'll take the old one and with the money I'll buy a new one. One? Yeah. What is it? It's been over a year.

[Brady Bogans]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's more than 10 grand.

[Brady Bogans]

That's assuming every. Every week.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't matter. It's not in your garage for that day. If it's not in your garage, she's renting it.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If she says every weekend I have your generator, it's $200. That's like renting a car from Enterprise and just having sit in your garage. Well, I only drove it twice. I mean, you know. Yeah, but you didn't give it back. Hey, I guess you owe me for all these weekends you've had my generator. That was the deal. Do you have it in writing? Oh, no.

[Brady Bogans]

That's the thing you can say. I'll have shake on it.

[John Holmberg]

You took this man's words. Well, then there you go then. He owes. Peter owes. It won't be through lawyers that he gets taken care of. You know what I'm talking about, Rhett, you know what? No, I know what you're talking. Brett's got a. An emergency van stop on 83rd Avenue. An Indian stop. School today. Yeah, we're taking care of Peter. You look at, look. Look at him and go.

[Brady Bogans]

I'll give you the number.

[John Holmberg]

All right, we'll call him. If anybody else wants some collections, we'll get. We'll get a few of those. I get a couple emails in there. Guy says I'm an Italian from New York. Have Brett call my ex wife and ask him where the money is. She owes me for my son's college. College tuition for two years. She vacations. She's Boston, New York with her drug addict husband who was the cause of all this money bs Telling me she's going to give me money at the end of the month. Month. Forgot about it. Over here. How about that? I've really heard. I've heard from really good sources. She's looking to buy a couple of jet skis. The source is my child. Oh, man. That's when you can take the court. Yeah. Once the court fails, call Brett. Brett's Collections. That's a new segment on the show. Brett's Collection actions. Everybody's got something to call a buddy. We'll call him up. Say, hey, you got this guy's thing. If the. Email me homeburger90kupd.com if you've got something, you're like, hey, my buddy, blah, blah, blah, took this from me. He's never given it back. I've asked a couple times. It's awkward now. And we'll call him up and we'll say, hey, how come you've got Brandon's thing here? Damn it, Brady. Collect that money and put it in your Trajan account, for God's sakes. You're getting the buy now, kid. Buy now. We just had a dip. It's a good buyback day. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Hey, what's up? It's Mo and my friends at the University of Advancing Technology has been ranked the number one best college for computer science for not one, but two years in a row. Which makes total sense because UAT are always on the lookout for those who don't just embrace technology, they live it. From advancing computer science and robotics to cybersecurity, gaming and artificial intelligence intelligence. UAT is where innovation thrives. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution, visit uat.edu mo. And don't just study tech.

[Brady Bogans]

Live it.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Byron, I was [e-mail]'s website. You have everything, and the prices are incredible.

[Brady Bogans]

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys, and more. The best part is, if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[Brady Bogans]

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to mmpguns.com hey, it's Brett Vesely. Look, your AC's been working hard for you all summer long, so give it some love with Patrick Riley. Heating, cooling, plumbing and drains. Right now you can get a 59H VAC system check, which includes a full equipment inspection, refrigerant level check, and free electronic leak detection. And that's a 99 value. Need a new system. No problem. Score 1,500 doll right now. Hot and stuck. Well, they offer emergency same day service. And before you commit, get a free second opinion with no pressure. Go to Patrick Riley, services.com. that's Patrick Riley, services.com. patrick Riley. One call does it all. The best of Homework's morning sickness. This is the big Red Radio. The best story I've heard and we've had some doozies. This one tops the lady walking in and her husband having sex with her brother. Brother, yeah. This one, oh, we've had. That's my favorite email of the year, by the way, though. And that was on, I believe, Flag Day, if I'm not mistaken, or President's Day or something. It was a day off. She comes home from work a little early, he had the day off, and walks in on her husband nuts with her brother. And evidently they've been doing that since the 14 year marriage began. Fantastic story. Lives in my head as something that, why would. A, why do you email me this? B and oh. And then it went further because she. We had a guy from work say that she's nuts. Like he knew who it was. Cuz. I mean the details of that story are pretty clear. And he's like, oh, no, no, no, I know who you're talking about. I work with the guy. She's insane. She came down to this to their work one time in a bikini and said, who wants to me because my husband doesn't know how, and tried to solicit co workers to bang her and call out, well, the husband did. He didn't know how because you don't have balls. I mean, he likes those. So that's my favorite story till Friday when we're hanging out Friday at the Bisquick show. Feldman hasn't taken the stage yet. Dude behind us says, hey, Brady. Hey, Holberg. What's going on? We start talking to him and his friend who's with him starts saying things and it's hard to understand him. It's like, oh, okay, something going on here. And then the, the, the taller guy goes, he's got als. It's bad. And he was diagnosed with a very aggressive and couldn't have been more like a beam of sunshine. He's been diagnosed with als. He's still moving around. He's still got his.

[Brady Bogans]

Started in his arm.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. His friend Kevin keeps telling him he's dying. You know he's dying. I'm like, okay, quit celebrating that he knows. And the guy's laughing and we're joking. He's got a funny shirt. Everything about the guy was just a electric energy of positivity and no sadness. So we're talking to him about ALS and He's. He's talking. His friend's kind of translating, getting through it. And then his friend says, and this is the topper of the whole thing. He just caught his wife cheating on, like, wait, LS guy Lou Gehrig just caught his wife cheating on him? And he's like, yeah, he filed divorce papers today. And then his friend, of course, because that's all he kept saying was, he's dying. I know, I know, I know, I know. But let's get back to this. His wife started phoning someone out. He goes, yeah, someone at her work. You know her. I'm like, I do. He goes, yeah, she's waited on you before. I'm like, where? I text that squirrel? I'm saying, so now, again, this is just speculation on my end. All this could be, you know.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Refuted by the waitress. But they throw that bomb at me. And I'm like, what? He goes, yeah. They put it like, she's gonna run off with some guy from her work because her husband's got the als. Like, she couldn't wait a year. Like, it doesn't seem like it's gonna be that much longer before, you know. Yeah. And that's what his friend kept saying. He's like, maybe like he's got a year before. It's like he can't even chase her. He found her phone and went through it, thinking something's not right, and went through her phone and found the text messages, evidently, and filed for divorce. She's boning a guy at work while her husband has als, the Lou Gehrig's disease. Diagnosed with it one year ago. God knows how long he's got. Who knows? Maybe it'll last a while. Maybe they'll cure it, which would be great. And he's smiling and laughing. He goes, yeah, what are you gonna do? And I'm like, I guess you're kind of getting used to disappointing news. This is one thing after another kind of deal. It's like, yeah, shrug your shoulders. You know, she could be up for S Bag of the Year with that story. That is sort of what I was thinking Friday. I'm like, maybe we nominate her for S Bag of the Year. But we don't know the story.

[Brady Bogans]

We don't.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe he caught ALS from copious amounts of gang banging. I don't know how you catch.

[Brady Bogans]

Let me tell you, it is. You know, like I was saying, initially, it started out in his arm.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogans]

And I've never. I don't know. I don't have much experience around someone that has gone through als, but, man, it has taken over his body into the voice.

[John Holmberg]

That's what it does. It can't eliminate your ability.

[Brady Bogans]

Very hard to understand.

[John Holmberg]

Just makes it so you're just a little bit of brain power and a couple eyeballs after a while. And, yeah, it's. It's getting him right. But he's like, I'm just. And I said, how are you feeling? And he goes, amazing. Every day is a gift. Gift. Especially now that he. So I even said. I'm like, is this, like, the best thing that's happened? He goes, getting rid of her is amazing. Like, that you got good news because. But who's gonna wipe you? That was another question. What do you got going on? Like, you. She needed to wipe you. Like, now you got. Your friend has to do it. Like, where are you going for wipeys? Because that was her job for a year. You know, clean out the sack and stuff. There's always an answer. Bidet. Yeah, his name is Matt. I just got the email, said his name is Matt. And Matt was inspirationally happy at the show. And I'm not one of those people that goes, he's such an inspiration. No, he's not. I don't want what he's got. That's not inspiring at all. I want to stay away from it.

[Brady Bogans]

He loved every minute of that. Corey.

[John Holmberg]

First thing I said to him, like, can I catch this? Do they know for sure that, like. All right, I'm just telling you, Matt, if this goes my way, if I start feeling a little ache and pain in my elbow, I'm gonna take a few steps to the left. I'm not gonna stand by you the whole night. He was awesome. But that wife of his, Best bag of the year. I mean, up there. Do you. And I gotta hand it to him. I got the als. I'm giving a pass to her. Yes, I get it.

[Brady Bogans]

Because I gotta set you free.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I gotta. I'm letting her stay. I'm not. I'm not at all. Like, I need somebody to, like, be there in a couple of weeks just in case. I don't want to be at the house going through divorce. The last thing I want to do is have drama in my house. Whoa. Is have drama in my house at all. I want somebody there to clean the poops. And I'm. And actually, it's an opportunity for me to over ALS a little bit. Maybe I could have made it to the bathroom, but I took a dump on the hallway floor and pretended like I couldn't. She's got a spot. Clean that up. Maybe with all the money he's saving, he can. He can upgrade. Does Judge still split? Oh, man, there's no upgrade.

[Brady Bogans]

I don't know about saving money.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know about an upgrade. No offense, Matt, but you're. No. You're in no position right now to go swing. Broad could see 60 days left or whatever. Guy in Australia. There's that. You know, that's what I'm looking at. Does Matt have some cash? Never know. Excellent point. But some sympathy poon, maybe you get some of that. I mean, she don't, you know, where she works. That's true.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah. So the odds of him saving money.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She's yelled at me before because I went to the Texas Grill. Megan's parents wanted to have a. They wanted. They fooled me and said, we're going to Phoenix City Grill because, you know, Texas Grill tried to kill me once. I was there. You were there, and nobody seemed to mind that she wasn't the waitress that didn't care while I was getting a Heimlich maneuver and still put our drinks down. That was a different lady. She was the one that. I went there because Megan's parents had some sort of celebration, like, meet us at Phoenix City Grill. So I started to walk there, and as I'm walking by Phoenix City Grill, I hear, hey, hey. Or by Texas Grill, I see Megan in the door. I'm like, what? They wanted to go here instead. And I'm like, I'm going home. What? I'm going home. That place tried to kill me. I'm just kidding. And I wouldn't order food. And when I left, a lady came over and said. I think she said husband. I don't remember if his boyfriend. He listens all the time, and he always texts me and says, they're ragging on you at the thing. And I'm like, oh, that's you. I said, the reason I didn't order food is because one of you would have recognized me, probably from all the bitching I've done about this place trying to kill me. So I just got a soda, and I. I probably drank a bunch of semen in that soda, and I guess I'll have to deal with that. But I'm not eating any of that food. I think that was her. And I don't know the whole story, but if what he told me was.

[Brady Bogans]

True, hey said he waited on all of us at one time. I was even at that situation. Like, she's been there a long time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'M like, holy cow. And one of the people that she's bone and works there too. But that's just restaurants, you know, ALS or otherwise. That was going to happen. One of those cooks is going to nail a. It's going to be a thing. If you've got a waitress for a wife, somebody's banging her you don't know about. And he barely speaks English.

[Brady Bogans]

Cook just got out of Christmas.

[John Holmberg]

I mean Brady's, Brady's Place is a perfect example of that. At Porkopolis, the early days of Porkopolis, you had who we called the giraffe because she was nine feet tall. Absolutely spectacular to look at body for hours. And like, my God, she's not going to be here long. Brady, don't worry about that. Cuz she's. This one doesn't have to work. And then like a month later, yeah, she got knocked up by one of the cooks. I'm like, well that's a restaurant. You're running a restaurant. Nice job. It's an official restaurant now. And the cook was like nothing special. Like she was just so damaged by her father that she'd have sex with just about anything that looked at her sideways. And. And then he put a baby in it. That happens. But yeah, it was a. What a story. That was the highlight of the Feldman night. And then Feldman went out and started to play his guitar. And the best part was he had some lady had made him a guitar. So he made this big deal of display about this guitar which just was a black custom made. Nothing about it was that special. It was a black guitar with what looked like a Crown Royal. Crown royal logo on it. I'm like, I could have put a sticker on a guitar too and called it special. And then he went to play it. He just muted the strings and strummed. He put force four fingers over the strings and deadened them. And it did. That's not gonna make a single noise. That's all you're gonna hear. And I'm like, he's not playing. And then the guitar solo is so bad.

[Brady Bogans]

And it ended, which I thought was like in the middle, you see the highlights? And I thought it would be longer. It's like 35 seconds. And that's how the song ends, man.

[John Holmberg]

So bummed I missed that part. Yeah, you had to go. But it was great. So if I get ALS and have to get divorced, I'm maxing out every card we've got. What's mine is yours, lady. And I need a pre death jet ski. I'm not divorcing her at all. That's a good idea. Run it all into the earth and leave her with the debt. Genius. And use her cards. I don't know that I'd file for divorce with the als. I think I'd. I'd make her stay. And I'd poop a lot more. I took a dump on the couch. That's als. Like, oh, you poor little thing. And if she's not willing to clean that and she runs away. Man, oh, man. But Matt. I fell in love with Matt on Friday. Seemed like a hell of a guy. And I'm rooting for you. But that whole inspirational thing. Thing. Not for me, my friend. No, no, thanks. That's. I'm not inspired by at all. I don't want to go out and do what you're doing. I want to do the opposite of what you're doing and not catch ALS. Morning Sickness 28 Hberg's Morning Sickness this segment is brought to you guys by Action Ride Shop.

[Brady Bogans]

Now, if you're thinking about heading up.

[John Holmberg]

North to hit the slopes for some skiing, some boarding, or if you're just gonna stay down here in the valley and do some mountain biking, Action Ride Shop is your place to be. They got all the gear and all the knowledge you're gonna need, so check them out [e-mail] or better yet, just go visit them over there on Gilbert Road and Southern. It's Action Ride Shop. This is your fault, dumbass. Then I start laughing because it's pretty good. And Luke told me about some people who are possibly listening today, but evidently I have a girl named Katie, works at a dental office. Where is that you gave me? Oh, Katie Gibbons and her husband. She's been listening to the show for years. And Luke said that as a woman who's been listening for a long time, Luke said if I introduced you to her, she'd have an orgasm and die. And I want to see. You want to see a dead body? I want to see that. I want to see if that's possible. Meeting me, you immediately orgasm and then pass away. And evidently her husband got tired of her talking about me, so he calls me boner bird around the house. And she's like, totally in. I don't know, Katie, but she's got two dogs named Luna and Millie. Husband's name is Scott. I learned the whole. The whole family dynamic yesterday, so thanks a lot.

[Brady Bogans]

You got that going for.

[John Holmberg]

I got that going for me that at one point or another, there's a woman out There on this planet that may orgasm and drop dead just for meeting me, which I happen to think is scientifically impossible. Now, I've tried to make women orgasm and that's the hardest part. I think I can make you die faster than the other thing. That first thing seems miserably difficult. But Katie, I appreciate it. And Scott, there's really no reason to be jealous of me. Bonerberg is no real threat here. You're fine. I'm kind of me making your wife sexually aroused to a point of. You'll be fine to levels you can. Yeah, exactly. To levels you can't do. Is kind of like what we were talking about with the hung Mexican thing. It's just not really. It's.

[Brady Bogans]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

It's not going to happen. Don't worry about it. Not at all. But Katie, I appreciate that. And Boner Berg is here for you and your whole family super, super happy that that's out there somewhere. That, that that's the perception. At least it's a perception because I even said to Luke when he told me about it, I said, if that's a real story, like, I want that to happen. I don't want to kill anybody. But if that's how I did kill them, that's a great story I have for the rest of my life. And even if she doesn't die, just like maybe go coma for a couple of days or like just falls down even. Yeah, she had an orgasm. I shook her hand. She had an orgasm. I don't know because I know for a fact that whatever I have for the most part makes women, they struggle to have orgasms for like a year after meeting me with, no matter who they're with.

[Brady Bogans]

So I had a buddy sent me an article last week just that I had a such a big orgasm. Which went into a coma. Yeah, I couldn't verify the other. That article. I was like, is that real?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, don't go looking into that, Brady. Just make you feel bad. It's like, oh, that's a possibility. And again, if you're a guy who's comatose, a woman, if you've, if you've put her into the hospital, there isn't a man alive. I don't care how much you love your wife or whomever you're with, if you're having sex with her and she goes into a coma, you're smiling all the way to the hospital like there's something takes over where it's like, I don't even care. She's okay. This is at least she died doing what I love. There is nothing about a man who thinks that if you. If you destroy a woman through sex, there isn't. You're not sad about it. You're not. You don't have any ptsd. You don't have. You're thrilled. And women, you're probably the same. If you killed a man sexually, that's bragging rights. You're feeling pretty good about yourself afterwards. So none of us would ever be have that claim because we would be in radio, we'd be in the movies. It's a headline. Mind blowing orgasm left me in a coma. I mean, I break up with that girl every week, man. I'm gonna go now. Oh, you can't leave. Like, she can't go on to someone else. You gave her multiple comas, for God's sakes. That's pretty great. I, on the other hand, might as well just bring a bucket of beach sand and put it in you because it's going to take years for you to get all that dry. Trying this out. That's what I provided. Pretty impressive. Comatose man. I know you like Ronnie, and there's a nice. But if you put her in a coma, you'd be back to work the next day. You're like, ready. You should take some time off. Your wife's in a coma. Did I tell you how, like there would be. You would want to go see your friends as fast as possible.

[Brady Bogans]

I'm telling everyone.

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't. I wouldn't sit and mourn. I wouldn't be at home going, oh, it's the worst. I can't believe this happened. I'd be like, wow. Wow. I need to tell. While she's in the coma and quiet and not paying attention, all my friends are getting this text and sending pictures of her with the tubes in her mouth because I know. Hey, Brett, guess what I did. Megan's in a coma. And it's. It's a big one. Brett would text back, oh, you're lying. And then you get a snapshot real quick, laying in the hospital bed with tubes. And then just turn the. I'll turn the camera on me and just wink at you. Told you. You. What really happened. I know it's hard to believe. Where'd she fall, Dictor? Comatose boys.

[Brady Bogans]

I don't know about that, Nathan. I'm not sure if I believe.

[John Holmberg]

I'm so. Yeah, well, maybe that happened in the beginning. Maybe. Nathan, just. Maybe she just dropped. But the damn. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You guys are dealing with this. Why? This is great. She'll be all right. And if not, I'm fine. The story. I'm legend now. I'm neo sex into a coma. But if. Yeah, if Katie. If Katie is out there and she's like, well, I would. And evidently she's been listening since she was young, like high school age, and for some reason just has this desire to hear every word I say and then rub up against the words. And then I think, that's what's happening. Here we go. Good morning. It's not me, Brad. I'm not saying. Apparently it is. Ah, I guess you're right. I can't fight it. I can't fight it. Well, we have to stay out of the same room then, because from what I've. What I've had described to me, Katie would, you know, just start spraying like the Bellagio and lose all her bodily fluids and then drop dead right in front of me. And I'd have to. I'd have to. I'd have to celebrate that pretty heavily that night. Maybe she'll come to your release this Wednesday. Oh, I don't know if that's a good idea. I mean, the beer release, right? I don't know. That's pretty. That's pretty. I'd be pretty disappointed if I met her. And she'd be like, huh? Because that's what's gonna happen. Huh. Nice to meet you. I've been listening since I was 14. And then she'd call me, like Holmgren or something and be like, oh, it's all overblown. But her husband calls me Bonerburg because he got so tired and he said. And he called me Bonerberg, not because I'm a boner, is because his wife gets a lady boner from me. And you. There's what, seven and a half billion people on the planet? You, Katie, are the only one who has that. There isn't another woman on this planet. Megan's probably home laughing at her right now. You can have him. Get him out of here. Killed another one again. I mean, it was like, what if you were just killed again? What happened? I was out there, I met a couple of ladies and they had orgasms and dropped that. I should probably stop with new people. I just don't think that's a good idea. So, Katie, I don't want you. I feel like I took a job from black.com because that's what happens on that side. I don't want you to feel bad. Old Bonerberg Scott if you want to.

[Brady Bogans]

Watch, it's a new group.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Bonerberg's good. The Bonerbergs. Alex Jones. Been on them for. For a long time. But if, Scott, if you want to watch me shake your wife's hand and send her into a. You know, take her to a better place as it is, because she's not gonna make it, I'd like to see that. Teach me now. I don't know how to do it. I don't know what I'm doing. I guarantee you it's sort of a DeLorean. It seemed like a good idea, and then you got in it and you're like, ah, jeez, this is horrible. It's bad when most of your sexual conquests end with. Anyway. Oh, are you leaving? Yeah, I think I'm gonna go home. That should do it. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.

[Brady Bogans]

Brett, I sure do. It's MMP Guns Customs. MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polished polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[John Holmberg]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Brady Bogans]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live. You can ship it to us or. We already have completed firearms in inventory daily with. No wait.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscustoms.com here's more of the best of morning sickness. 98 Kupda Time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and is brought to you by our friends at all pro Shade Concepts. Shade is a beautiful thing. Heat's coming back. We had our little reprieve here. Saw a thing last night that scene McLuckluck was on saying, how many days under 100 degrees do we normally have in July? Broke out like a little chart. Zero last year, zero this year. Before that, three in 2022. We were at two in 2025. So three or four is like a bonanza. Had a little dust storm last night. Coming through a little monsoon. Wake up. So it's been a. It's actually been a nice summer. Nothing makes that even better. Take advantage of the fact, like Brady's doing, you got a 98 degree day in July, you throw those shades out suddenly it's 79 on your back porch. Coach sitting there sipping margaritas and enjoying bowls by the pool. Man. Not those bowls, you pervert weirdos. The ones with the. The good ones, the smoking ones, the weed. You can get it all done. AllProchade.com is where they go. They'll take care of you and they'll knock out 95 of the sun's UV rays. Those are the bad ones. Drop the temps around 20 degrees. Get it in the right spot. That's perfect. AllProchade.com Brady reported.

[Brady Bogans]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Hello, world. Hi.

[Brady Bogans]

Happy National Left Handers Day.

[John Holmberg]

There you go.

[Brady Bogans]

And National Filet Mignon Day.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna get one for my daughter. That sounds nice. She can eat it with her left hand and then get around all that vegetarian nonsense.

[Brady Bogans]

Being left handed and slicing your steak. Serrated knives. Even a lot of lefties don't know the teeth are set up to offset the tendency to twist clockwise and on your right hand when you're using with your right hand.

[John Holmberg]

That's if you use it like the way the British do.

[Brady Bogans]

So. So lefties tend to cut things like bread thinner at the top, fatter at.

[John Holmberg]

The bottom because it's sliced in that particular direction.

[Brady Bogans]

Cuts their own bread.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. They slice that now that's why they say best invention since sliced bread. There's no reason to have gigantic loaves at your house. You have to hack into Brady. I imagine you've got a sourdough.

[Brady Bogans]

I'm pretty adamant. Like I've never done that. If I've had to slice bread. But start off, it's the other way around. Usually it's no one at the top.

[John Holmberg]

No one cares. If your bread slices are accurate there. Nobody cares.

[Brady Bogans]

Paper thin. Then I can cut through an aluminum can.

[John Holmberg]

This is that progressive ads like stop. Nobody cares. I think of you every time I see that Geico ad where Rick is fixing not becoming your parents and the guy's standing there behind the grill with the take it off. Take it off. Take it off from taking it off you. And he points to the apron like this. No, you're talking about something awesome. Something about grill. Something do. It's a hilarious spot. But I think of Brady every time. Just want to have fun. That's right. And it's just. And he wants to have. And. And see this is why you need to be talked to about that. I imagine you've got a. You've had in the past an apron with a wacky joke on.

[Brady Bogans]

I've been given two or three aprons.

[John Holmberg]

And have worn proudly. Yes. I'm not an apron wearer. You squat topless.

[Brady Bogans]

I should. I should more often. Cuz they are are funny.

[John Holmberg]

I like when the hot meat sparks onto my chest. Don't start acting like you've got a highbrow for the grill jokes. I guarantee you there's some dad humor going.

[Brady Bogans]

The last one I got was either two Christmases ago. It was the physique. It was the statue of David.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, something made it look like you were ripped.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah, marble.

[John Holmberg]

Take it off from taking it off of you.

[Brady Bogans]

Violet was one of the original M M colors when they're introduced in 1941.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, look at the screen. Toledo's pulled up all sorts of wacky aprons for grilling. All of them make me think of you. There isn't one that doesn't. Smoking hot. So's my grill.

[Brady Bogans]

Big daddy is on the grill.

[John Holmberg]

Big Daddy on the grill. Well, at least we know what to do for Brady Gras this year. Oh, yeah, the grill father. Don't laugh at them. That makes us want to get those that ain't burnt. That's flavor. All right. Donna's green egg. Brady made breakfast for Eric, Brian and I on Saturday. I got up, drove to like the place to buy breakfast at like four in the morning and then came back and it was cooked up and ready to go. Cookie was all done. And I watched Brady deflate. It was the saddest thing ever, but I thought it was delicious. I enjoyed it. A couple hash browns, pounds, bacon, some eggs. Everything tasted great. I chow down on that. And Eric goes to throw away his plate. And he's left two slices of bacon under the napkin. Brady grabbed his hand over the garbage. What are you doing?

[Brady Bogans]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[John Holmberg]

And he reaches on to someone else's food of plate of food and just hand Fs the bacon right into his mouth. I'm eating that if that's. And then he goes, why didn't he eat that? That's a little soft soggy for my taste.

[Brady Bogans]

No, the. It was the hash brown.

[John Holmberg]

I know. And he pointed because you were pointing to the hash browns. Why didn't you eat that? Yeah, they're a little soggy for my taste. Deflated him. It was like dig dug when you.

[Brady Bogans]

Went on the backyard and cried. That was your Winston moment with me.

[John Holmberg]

You like them? No, that was different.

[Brady Bogans]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

You don't like. You don't like the way I made those for you? Not really. I was gonna toss them in the trash, so I walk up behind. And I said, that's all right. I'm gonna have the decency to at least throw it up when Brady's not paying attention. And you did probably. You know what that might have been what got me a day later.

[Brady Bogans]

Keep thinking you were throwing up, but that's not the case.

[John Holmberg]

No, I did a little.

[Brady Bogans]

Did you?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I think I was. Well, I tried to force that out because I thought that was what was going on. And then I realized shortly after the nausea turned into. I felt like, I mean, Nicole Brown Simpson and didn't get stabbed as hard as I. My stomach was hurting.

[Brady Bogans]

I don't think Nicole Brown Simpson drank as hard as you did over the weekend.

[John Holmberg]

That could be too, but I don't think that has anything to do with it. I know you don't like alcohol. That had nothing to do with diarrhea. You don't. Only that I. I've been much worse than what we did this weekend.

[Brady Bogans]

The survey asked which travel habits people are worried they picked up from their parents. The top five were getting to the airport way too early, forgetting something at home, wanting to find the gate before doing anything else.

[John Holmberg]

This is like traveling to find out like one of the travel like your parents, not just turning into your parents.

[Brady Bogans]

Going to the bathroom right before or during the flight boarding process and making friends at the airport.

[John Holmberg]

So it's less about turning into your parents at 30. It's traveling like you're Paris.

[Brady Bogans]

Well, those are just habits. They're asking about traveling. But there's other habits.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sure, it ends up being that, but that particular stuff. I hate those people that go to the bathroom as soon as they get on the plane. Great. Now everybody's trying to board. You're trying to sneak through. It's a. It's a broad jerk. They should have a demand that women are on the aisle. You put a woman in a window seat, she's going to make a mockery of a 45 minute flight twice. I don't know what it is. I take it we were at the beer place before. So I had a beer and now I have to pee. You should have peed before we got on. Yeah, but we were in line. Okay, so pee in the plumber if they're gonna let me up. Oh, you're gonna wait till it's in the air, aren't you? The ding is gonna happen. You're gonna start unbuckling. Nothing worse than a. I'll say it. A broad and a window seat. That's right. I knew it. Make bread, broaden the window seat. And you hear that unbuckling of the bell. Oh God, she's gotta pee. The friggin light goes on. Yeah.

[Brady Bogans]

Pause. Movie.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, I'm not doing that. You do movies together on a plane.

[Brady Bogans]

No, but I'm saying like.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're gonna stop. You're doing your whole thing. Yeah, I thought you're saying that you were with. No.

[Brady Bogans]

The whole process to get up.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. No. And I usually sit on the aisle too, so I hear that clicking.

[Brady Bogans]

God damn it.

[John Holmberg]

Here we go. First class, not flying. I gotta fly with the rubes here in a couple of weeks. I gotta fly. Why? I can't wait for the report on this one. Oh, I'm telling you, I'm gonna. That show's gonna write itself when you come back. We don't. We ain't gonna have to do nothing. What's worse is my flight's like at 11:30 in the morning on Friday. So it is out show and go. I'm leaving right after this ends and I'm gonna shoot to the airport. I'm still. I already pre bought a. So I'm 1 through 15. Cuz I spent an extra 45 bucks on that. Which now me, trust me. Anything to make it easier on myself. And now that the stock market's crashed, I want that money back. But the yeah. So I'm down 968 by the way. The yeah. So I'm gonna have to sit with them in a little bit. And I'm looking forward to that. It's like a greyhound in the sky now. Oh, the general public. Brady.

[Brady Bogans]

Almost all the wasabi we eat in the US Is actually a mixture of horseradish, mustard, starch, and food coloring. Real wasabi is usually too expensive to import.

[John Holmberg]

Really? So that glop of wasabi isn't wasabi?

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah, well, yeah, it's that horseradish and no kidding. Yeah. And I always understood. Understood that the. That I knew there was coloring added to it. It's not green to make it natural. It's like clear.

[John Holmberg]

Right? Clear. That would be awesome. Why would you know where it is?

[Brady Bogans]

Well, a little more transparent, I guess.

[John Holmberg]

See through. I don't think you're saying that right. You think wasabi is completely see through?

[Brady Bogans]

Not completely see. More colorless. Let's say that White. Not even white. It's more like.

[John Holmberg]

Is it like Wonder Woman's plane or not?

[Brady Bogans]

Not. I thought it was more like. I always thought it was horseradish.

[John Holmberg]

Get up and hit him. Well, horseradish is white.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah. And so that's what I thought.

[John Holmberg]

That's not. That's not clear.

[Brady Bogans]

So. I don't think I've ever had real wasabi. Cuz sometimes.

[John Holmberg]

How would you know?

[Brady Bogans]

Gone to.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you could be eating it right now. Could be floating around where it's not.

[Brady Bogans]

The wasabi wasn't green.

[John Holmberg]

You have.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah. And then. Then there was that place in.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going to try again for a while. What color was it?

[Brady Bogans]

Wasabi. They colored it blue.

[John Holmberg]

What was the one that you. That wasn't green? You're like, hey, I didn't know this was for. What color was that that you think is real wasabi?

[Brady Bogans]

Like, if you say clear again. Skin color.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, like a peach. Like white people skin. Yeah.

[Brady Bogans]

Not Irish.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Not albino.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Not Mexican. You hear yourself, right? You know how hard it is to talk to you sometimes. Food was clear. No, no, I meant transparent. God damn it.

[Brady Bogans]

Like ginger.

[John Holmberg]

It looked. That's a color.

[Brady Bogans]

Ginger. No, the ginger root is a color.

[John Holmberg]

Really? It's brown. You think that's trans?

[Brady Bogans]

The outside of it. The inside is more.

[John Holmberg]

Yellow.

[Brady Bogans]

It's more yellow. I would say it's jaundice.

[John Holmberg]

That's a color, too. How is that not a color?

[Brady Bogans]

Do you not see colors? Let me suck that, please. What if I took ginger and I made it? A lampshade light would go through it. Very nice.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And it would still have a color filtered through it.

[Brady Bogans]

But it's transparent.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not. That means see through. Doesn't mean that light.

[Brady Bogans]

I look through my ginger all the time.

[John Holmberg]

Is your shirt transparent? Because if I put it over a lampshade light would still get through. Through.

[Brady Bogans]

Then technically it would be trans.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna take a thousand laps.

[Brady Bogans]

See you tomorrow.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Go. Go kung fu yourself and walk until you figure out what you've done wrong.

[Brady Bogans]

Please tell me Kirby hasn't picked up that gene. Today is supposedly the most dangerous day of the year.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. Because there's transparent food runner. I could shoot in your throat and choke you to death.

[Brady Bogans]

A dash cam cam company called Next Base crunched the numbers and found August 7th is the deadliest day of American roadways.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Brady Bogans]

They didn't explain why this isn't news.

[John Holmberg]

God damn it. Breaking news. This isn't how it's supposed to work. The information. Give it to me straight.

[Brady Bogans]

They didn't explain why random Wednesday in August is so dangerous. But based on data from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, they also did a poll.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Brady Bogans]

They also did a poll and found 62% of drivers feel like the roads are more dangerous than they were five years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe it's because the cars are. The cars on August 7th are translucent. They're clear. Well, that's not clear. That just mean light passes through. But still.

[Brady Bogans]

Hold on, Brady, what color is that?

[John Holmberg]

It's wasabi. That's actual transparent. Is that the transparent stuff?

[Brady Bogans]

No.

[John Holmberg]

What is the color of the one on the left before? Food coloring's at green.

[Brady Bogans]

That's not food coloring.

[John Holmberg]

That's the actual root. Oh, that's the root of wasabi all the way through. Okay, so the whole story was bunko because that's as green as wasabi that I've ever seen.

[Brady Bogans]

Right. So that's why they put the coloring in here in the United States for.

[John Holmberg]

The ones on the left.

[Brady Bogans]

It was too expensive. Expensive because it actually is green.

[John Holmberg]

It's right because it's. Was that an emission? Did we just hear an admission that the whole story was.

[Brady Bogans]

It actually.

[John Holmberg]

It actually is green. So why would they put green food color?

[Brady Bogans]

Because I've had a different color wasabi before.

[John Holmberg]

Starting over. What color was it Transparent? It was clear. So you've had one of those three wasabis. It's what you're saying because the story said it's not green, and we just saw a picture.

[Brady Bogans]

I was. It was me that I thought the under was not green. They just colored it that we don't have. Majority of the United States does not have.

[John Holmberg]

They just use. Right.

[Brady Bogans]

They don't use wasabi, radish, mustard, starch.

[John Holmberg]

And then you said, wasabi is not green. You've been to places that it isn't green. And I said color. And you said transparent. And then you said. Said what? Was the first one clear? He said clear. Was the more like clear. Like our hair is clear. We have clear hair. If our driver's license said what color is your hair? It would be clear.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah, I would say that. My license said that.

[John Holmberg]

My license says hair cl. Clear.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It'S there.

[Brady Bogans]

Put that down. Eyes, too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Your eyes aren't clear. Your eyes are there. Your hair is not. You understand the joke, right?

[Brady Bogans]

I hear the commercial. Clear eyes.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. You don't have clear eyes. That's to clear the red out of. Like you can clear a desk. It doesn't mean it disappears the stuff on top of it. Nope, don't. Don't.

[Brady Bogans]

But then there's that wasabi root right there. That looks white.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, That's a. You can see it. Right here's the white.

[Brady Bogans]

So it's up. You just said it was white, though.

[John Holmberg]

That was clear. You were eating that gelatinous glob of invisible stuff.

[Brady Bogans]

It was. It glowed a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogans]

It reflected the light a little more than that. It wasn't like a solid white. Is translucent the word that breaks?

[John Holmberg]

Translucent is the word. Yeah, I said that just now. It's translucent. Translucent as light passes through. Correct?

[Brady Bogans]

Correct.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Transparent is completely see through.

[Brady Bogans]

Completely see through.

[John Holmberg]

I need a drink. Let's go, Brad. I'm gonna blow bread for his birthday real quick just to get out of this. True.

[Brady Bogans]

Japanese wasabi is 60 bucks a pound, says Ray.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you know what? You're gonna need a pound. I have a pound. Look, I have a pound of it in my hands right now. Oh, look at that. Wow. I can see right through. Wow. It's clear. You want a bite?

[Brady Bogans]

It's invisible.

[John Holmberg]

$45 for a bike. That's clear, my friend.

[Brady Bogans]

No, you can still see.

[John Holmberg]

You can see things that are clear.

[Brady Bogans]

Yes. You would say. Would you say glass is clear?

[John Holmberg]

It's clear.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah, but you can see the glass, so it's not invisible.

[John Holmberg]

I can't see the glass. That's the point of the glass.

[Brady Bogans]

You can see the glass.

[John Holmberg]

No, I can touch the glass. I currently can't. I can't see that glass. I can see the dirt on the glass. But a good piece of glass I will walk through.

[Brady Bogans]

But if you. Oh, you can.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Why?

[Brady Bogans]

But because there's times that it's not reflecting.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. So the reflection is what you would.

[Brady Bogans]

See, but it's still not invisible.

[John Holmberg]

Says why? Because it's an actual product.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah, right.

[John Holmberg]

That can reflect back. It's reflective.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What's wonderful, Wonder Woman's plan is technically invisible, like wasabi.

[Brady Bogans]

But you can touch it.

[John Holmberg]

Is wasabi reflective? Glass is a reflective surface.

[Brady Bogans]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you.

[Brady Bogans]

I would say yes, it is.

[John Holmberg]

You think wasabi is a reflective surf?

[Brady Bogans]

You can see it.

[John Holmberg]

It's reflecting. Going home.

[Brady Bogans]

Wouldn't it be reflecting light for us to see it?

[John Holmberg]

You. Okay, now you're being idiot. No. Do you think wasabi on a plate will show you? What do you mean a reflect? A reflection.

[Brady Bogans]

Oh, you mean like a mirror, a reflection?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, not a reflection.

[Brady Bogans]

Reflecting light.

[John Holmberg]

Right, Brady? I think so. Then it would be. Time out. Then it would be invisible if it's reflecting light. No, you just said it's not reflecting anything because it's not pushing back.

[Brady Bogans]

Reflecting light.

[John Holmberg]

In what way?

[Brady Bogans]

In order for us to Making a.

[John Holmberg]

Prism, we can't see it. That's the point of the clear part. Absorbs some light wavelengths, but in order.

[Brady Bogans]

To see, it wouldn't have to be reflecting light for us to see.

[John Holmberg]

Doesn't air reflect light?

[Brady Bogans]

The atmosphere. I think it collects light.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah, but it's.

[John Holmberg]

Would you say it's invisible air? Yeah, yeah, for the most part.

[Brady Bogans]

I know there's part particles in the air.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. That doesn't mean you can see them. Oh, really?

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah. If we took a magnifying glass in the air, we'd see air.

[John Holmberg]

If you had a big enough mag.

[Brady Bogans]

You know when you see that?

[John Holmberg]

No, no, that's sunlight. That's. That's different.

[Brady Bogans]

It's reflecting light. That's.

[John Holmberg]

That's dirt.

[Brady Bogans]

And we can see that because it reflects light.

[John Holmberg]

That's not air.

[Brady Bogans]

No, no, but that's not air.

[John Holmberg]

That's the things in the air.

[Brady Bogans]

Right? Okay, so the actual air you're saying.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God, how old are you that you just are telling me. Okay, you're saying air is invisible.

[Brady Bogans]

Science. Gotta love this show.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. But just know that if you've got a plate and the guy goes, here you go, your sushi. Like, where's the wasabi? Everywhere.

[Brady Bogans]

Just touch it.

[John Holmberg]

Don't feel for him. It's clear. Is it possible?

[Brady Bogans]

Brady, the word you're looking for is opacity. Opaque.

[John Holmberg]

Opaque of the. That's Irish. That's Irish curls. Irish girls coming out of a Jewish guy's hat. Opaque.

[Brady Bogans]

Opacity. So you're. You're judging an item's opacity? Yeah, on how opaque it is.

[John Holmberg]

Because opaque is completely darkness.

[Brady Bogans]

Opaque.

[John Holmberg]

Complete darkness. Like it. Like lack of vision. Black. John, you.

[Brady Bogans]

Please stop.

[John Holmberg]

That's not what I meant.

[Brady Bogans]

Please come up with a disclaimer.

[John Holmberg]

Stevie Wonder is not opaque. That's not what I. Lack of vision. Black is. I gotta. I gotta read. Reword that.

[Brady Bogans]

John, please come up with a public service announcement.

[John Holmberg]

Because driving on a morning like this.

[Brady Bogans]

Makes me want to drive into Tempe.

[John Holmberg]

And that's what Scott Haynes just said. This is why August 7th is the most dangerous day today. Because you're gonna have an aneurysm.

[Brady Bogans]

Brady, I don't think that was a wasabi you ate. That was someone's yummy yummy.

[John Holmberg]

Which is not clear either. No, but it is opaque. Well, a lot of it. I don't even know if light pack passes their mind. I think I could put that on a flashlight and dull it. Hair is invisible. For those of you just tuning in.

[Brady Bogans]

Robot dentists are about to become a thing. An AI company called Perceptive pulled. Pulled off the what you ask. I said I'd be okay with that. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

The robot. Jesus Christ.

[Brady Bogans]

And a lot of people testing out. Well, I can't go anywhere.

[John Holmberg]

No, you bring up interesting things and then we ask questions. No, you get mad like you invented the sentence. You're the one who said the thing is clear. And I'm like, wow, really?

[Brady Bogans]

As I'm talking about these.

[John Holmberg]

That's fine. But you got grouchy over the thing like you did ask, you didn't write the goddamn story. We have questions, man. Go ahead. Robot dentist.

[Brady Bogans]

This 46 year old dude in Texas is facing charges for booby trapping the toilets at two different car washes to cause explosions when people sat down.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy.

[Brady Bogans]

Doesn't sound like they're big enough to destroy the bowl of the toilet. But you put them under the seat and the firework would explode when there was enough pressure on.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna tell you, Brady, I don't care about the toilet bowls after an exp. Really the thing we're worried about, does it blow up a butthole?

[Brady Bogans]

The first incident happened on July 20th at a place called Washtub near San Antonio. The woman who sat on the toilet was injured, but no word how badly. She was very shaken up, but her.

[John Holmberg]

Honeyhole is hanging over the explosive and.

[Brady Bogans]

Left before the cops got there.

[John Holmberg]

Part of the story is not strong enough to blow up the ball. Yeah, but that's not what they're trying to blow up.

[Brady Bogans]

Six days later, there were two more toilets exploding. You know, you never hear Washtub location.

[John Holmberg]

You never hear this. Is the toilet functional still? I'm not going anywhere. Named Wash Tub. You know, mitt in the washtub.

[Brady Bogans]

The woods house, they got him. The dude's name's Paul Alden.

[John Holmberg]

He's a Vietnam vet.

[Brady Bogans]

They showed security footage showed him walking into the bathrooms right before the explosion. After happen, he hung around outside until he heard the blast. Charlie.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And the guy that was laughing is the one that they thought he might have done this.

[Brady Bogans]

There's Paul. Mug shot?

[John Holmberg]

No, he might be of Afghanistan. Not of it. Like the war. Not. He's not Afghani.

[Brady Bogans]

The second explosions, two toilets. It was a woman and her daughter. And the other one, he had a.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they had both of them.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah. Minor injuries. They're both okay.

[John Holmberg]

So it was just sort of.

[Brady Bogans]

I see it like a giant snap and pop.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what that is.

[Brady Bogans]

The pressure, you know?

[John Holmberg]

Are you talking about the ladies I thought you were calling her genitals a snap and pop.

[Brady Bogans]

No, that would be something.

[John Holmberg]

I see it like a giant snap and pop sometimes too. Depends on the angle. If the light hits it just right. Look at her. Snap and pop, please. Actually, that's a good nickname. The front one's the snap, the back one's the pop.

[Brady Bogans]

There's a promo video for a new product called Friend. Oh, it blew up on social media this weekend. It's a virtual companion you wear like a necklace. The pendant has a built in microphone and listens and responds to whatever you say. People are mostly mocking it for being dystopian and weird, but some people like the idea. One person, you know, compares it to that Tamagotchi.

[John Holmberg]

Huh?

[Brady Bogans]

The Tamagotchi.

[John Holmberg]

Now you and I both don't know what that is.

[Brady Bogans]

That's the virtual pets from the 90s. You know, where you have to feed it and take care of it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was a computer pet.

[Brady Bogans]

It always listens and tosses out comments when it wants to. But it can totally replace a real friend. No, don't say that.

[John Holmberg]

There's some friends I'd replace.

[Brady Bogans]

He doesn't toss it texts you the comment back.

[John Holmberg]

So it's.

[Brady Bogans]

It's a ad shows a woman eating and watching a show on her phone when a message pops up. Fabulous. Show is completely underrated.

[John Holmberg]

Couldn't get a date. Oh my God. This is worse than Cat Ladies. JD Vance might be right about these people.

[Brady Bogans]

It's. You can pre order it for 99friend.com it's stupid.

[John Holmberg]

We already have phones in our pockets that listen to us all the time anyway way it's already been done. That's what I'm thinking is like your friend is your phone. That's the deal.

[Brady Bogans]

Recent study at Stanford found that virtual friends can be helpful for people who live alone.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you Cat Ladies and I'll tell you why is because virtual Friend never goes, no thanks. Like it's always going to be up for whatever you want to do. And compliments gives you advice even that. It's just like being beautiful is hard work, isn't it? Like it's going to make these, these lonely people have confidence. Confidence. It's a. It's an affirmation tape. They used to do these things for like Stuart Small. Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live. It's like people like you, it's gonna say nice things to somebody who doesn't feel good enough, you're smart enough, and you know what it should say. You know What? It should start with Larry. Things are going great. You need to leave the house, buddy. Even the thing around Larry's neck would be like, are we ever gonna go anywhere, Larry? Look, Nicholas, it's hot out this listen. And there's a lot of weirdos. Larry. Take me off, put me on somebody else's neck. This is ridiculous.

[Brady Bogans]

A lot of things can happen.

[John Holmberg]

Larry. Would he break up with that thing? I don't know. It just started acting all weird.

[Brady Bogans]

Someone else.

[John Holmberg]

Not the weird one. Man, get out of the house. We try so hard to get Larry's so much goddamn fun. Like, let's go somewhere. I can't. I made were the days and they come to lunch with us. I made a PB&J. Throw it away. It's 7 cents worth of food.

[Brady Bogans]

Also.

[John Holmberg]

It'll keep until tomorrow. It's in a bag, Bridget. I better not just give it to Brady. How many preservatives are in there? Don't worry about it. And then Larry had like one of those Italian horns on his neck and it started to light up and it goes, I want to go to lunch. So just take me off and give me to a fun guy. I don't want people to have access to that because I worry about my friends that don't like society. Ready? Already having a buddy on their chain tells them they're awesome all the time. Now why would you ever leave? The necklace is going to teach you how to tie a noose and just hurt yourself. You know what? The necklace just gets tighter. Doesn't this feel right? This feels right for both of us, right? We should put tight things on our neck, don't you think? You look so good with something tighter. You. You know where you look good. Six, seven inches above the ground.

[Brady Bogans]

Someone asked if wearing it while having sex qualifies as a threesome.

[John Holmberg]

You're not having sex with that on.

[Brady Bogans]

He said maybe no.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you don't have a partner. If you have a necklace best friend, you're not having sex. In fact, the necklace will probably just say, you're not going to use me for payment, are you? Arizona's most powerful. He said fully erect. We're here with Byron from M and P Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Brady Bogans]

The choice is simple, Brett. M and P Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection. Handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition accessories and even training. In fact, right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have ammo ink 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it sounds like MMP Guns is committed, providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Brady Bogans]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at the northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at mmpguns.com.

[John Holmberg]

The best of the morning sickness is on the air. 98 KUPD. Do any of you people do any actual work? The rest of Homburg's morning sickness Also big news for eels in the world. A couple days ago there was a. There was a thing. Wondering about how they're doing this. I got eel news a couple days ago. There was a Japanese dinner and like 14 or 15 people just started puking up after eating the eels. And it was some, you know, bigwig dinner and all that. I'm like wow, eel news. That's new. And then the next day, because I think I was reading so much about the eels, this story comes up. There was a guy. I'll just say. Vietnamese doctors removed a live two foot long eel from a man's abdomen that had chewed through his intestines after he. He put it in his own anus. Two feet's a little aggressive. I think you could have found a smaller eel. The nauseating discovery was made when 31 year old Indian national was admitted to Viet Duke hospital in Hanoi. Kill me if I'm ever admitted to the Viet Duke Hospital in Hanoi. Excruciating at we do a fundraiser every year for him. Oh yeah, over at kta. Yeah, that. That Vietnamese kids. Doctors learned that the adventurous patient had slipped the phallic shot shaped fish into his butt earlier that day. And it tried to escape, but not the route it came in. It tried to chew its way out. The eel had bitten through the patient's rectum colon trying to escape the abdominal cavity. Immediately examined and underwent several imaging tests including an X ray that showed the eel skeleton laying inside his abdomen because it had been rotted out.

[Brady Bogans]

Once he broke through, he was done.

[John Holmberg]

The doctors attempted to remove the foreign object through the man's anus but discovered a large line that he had inserted to block the eel's exit. So not only did he put the eel in there once he got him all the way in and then the.

[Brady Bogans]

Line just lodged up.

[John Holmberg]

It's just a lot. Yeah. Just you. Well, it's. You can't pass by a lime.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If eel figured out how to turn around.

[Brady Bogans]

But then he Couldn't get the lime out because it was too small.

[John Holmberg]

Roadblock. Right. Well, and I think he was no longer worried about the lime. He's like, something's going on way up here. Yeah, lime's the second story.

[Brady Bogans]

Breaks through my.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not reaching in going, well, at least I got the lime time. The eel bit its way through the man's intestines and into his abdomen. Instead, doctors opted for an emergency surgery. They sliced open the patient's torso and found the live eel. Good God. It's a real thing. They found the live eel still cooking along.

[Brady Bogans]

Oh, I thought they said the.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, it's an X ray. See a skeleton.

[Brady Bogans]

Oh, gotcha.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. And so I didn't know I'd have to come up. Follow along. You're better than. Anyway, so they got him out of there. And I don't know what you do with eel after that. I mean, he is definitely traumatized. It's 25 inches long and 4 inches in diameter. So, you know, it's like what the girls go through on black2.com. Here's a photo of the line that they had pulled out of his ass. The opposite direction, if you're interested.

[Brady Bogans]

Oh, I'm sure.

[John Holmberg]

I got a video of it later. There's the eel. And next to the line, two and a half. They're two feet long.

[Brady Bogans]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

25 inch eel heel. And he decided to say, hey, this thing's perfect. Sushi tonight. Yeah, no kidding. After checking for any additional foreign objects because they didn't believe the patient was like, okay, that's all. Don't look any further. They stitched him up. Surgeons perform a colonoscopy, a colonoscomy to prevent fecal matter from passing through the cut. You know, because you can't have poop going into that or get an infection. Like swimming river. Yeah, I was gonna say swimming in the Paris Olympics. The doctor said to Vietnam News they've dealt with patients recently a lot. Typical young men who are putting objects in their bums for sexual pleasure. Bottles, cups, adult toys. That's pretty common. This is the first case involving a. Live eels can survive in anerobic conditions for a long time and have the ability to bite through gastrointestinal tract. That's a warning to all of you with an eel thinking about this. People should never insert live animals through the anus. That's also a warning that has to go out. This is why I don't fly. This is exactly why I won't fly with you people.

[Brady Bogans]

Well, there goes the Party I'm going to tonight.

[John Holmberg]

If you're seeking sensations due to the eels maneuvering, you must think first of the unforeseeable consequences of doing such an act. Not the first time doctors have removed an eel from someone's backside at that hospital. This year In March, a 12 inch eel deal more reasonable. Oh yeah. Slid up a 43 year old man's anus. He was rushed to the hospital in the Haha district, of course the Haha hospital and Quang Ninh province where the sea creature was then removed. He said it was an accident. Then he flew home on Spirit Airlines and sat next to me going to Kansas City in two weeks. So what do you do for a living, friend? Oh, I make baby caskets. Oh that great. I run a fish stall. Oh no. So yeah, don't do that.

[Brady Bogans]

I always remember the the champion of the sumo wrestling would get like a thousand pounds of eels as one of their.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You used to be able to eat them. It's a delicacy. But you're supposed to eat them in your mouth. But I gotta say if you've gone 2ft feet of eel 4 inch diameter, you worked your way up to that other. And the lime, he had the lime handy. So this was not the first time he's gone eel and ass and recognized it. Go crazy when you first couple time I do it, he slid out. So I put braca in in a film of a citrus. What do I have a big enough to brock eel from a coming out? All right. He shoved a lime up his ass and then the eel was confused like ah, there's no way out. I'll show Richard Gear how it's done. There's no easy way out that's in the eel's head. There's no short and he just starts chomping down trying to eat its way because he realized, oh, he put a line behind me. I can't get out. So yeah, Richard Gere nothing on this guy. 2ft 4 inch diameter. He's had some stuff in there before and he's gotten away with it. That that eel grew up in his hands and has grown to 2ft and 4 inches in diameter. That is not that eel's first venture into the intestine. And for any you out there with something up your butt right now, consider, you know, at least do the thing with a butt plug. They've got a built in blocker on the other end so it doesn't slide all the way through. You should look for him on grindr. I'LL bet he's on your app. Let's take a look. Let's see eels away. Do you like eels? Do you eel like a dude? Let's see if anybody's on there. Oh, I got a message. Let's take a look at that. Right? Oh, guy just says f me. Yeah, there you go. Right off the bat.

[Brady Bogans]

Right to the point.

[John Holmberg]

Seven hours ago, 11 o'. Clock. That's bedtime. Calm down. F stranger. I didn't see anybody on my messages holding a snake or an eel. But yeah, that's the way it works now. And that's why I don't want to fly next to anybody. I want bigger seats, I want more space. I want elbow room because I don't know what you guys have been doing, but I bet you I've been on a plane before. The guys had something with an eel effort living in his ass. Bigger seats, bigger eels, this guy says. Keycuster says. How long do you go before you end up at the hospital once it starts biting your tummy from the inside, Are you going to remove it yourself first? Oh yeah. There's a whole slew of stuff I'm trying to get in there to get that out. Me personally, I don't think I go to the hospital for this. I think I let it kill me. Kind of like the Grand Canyon argument. There's no reason to put doctors through this. This is. And you're not coming back from that story. I'd let it kill me too. Although the pain would probably be fairly brutal. That the eel is just eating its way. It's alien. It's. You've got alien inside you.

[Brady Bogans]

He's got to be lucky to be alive. Well, is he breaking through the lining?

[John Holmberg]

Is he lucky? The other one was. One died. And 12 people were sickened at a Japanese department store from roasted eel. And they had a nice little sit down shindig. And then. And then the owners of the department store came out and apologized profusely and then probably committed Harry carry for embarrassing themselves. They had a press conference where they all bowed. Very embarrassed. But if you were in the grocery section of this department store last week and had some roasted eel, it was evidently rotten. Say killed one, hospitalized 12. Eel news. We don't have a song for that, I guess. Do you eel like we do is the only one as close as we can get. Don't put things in your butt that shouldn't be in your butt. Do not put things in your butt. I guess we should just say we've.

[Brady Bogans]

Been saying that for Years.

[John Holmberg]

I hate saying that. Women. This is not information for you, but men don't put things in your butt. Oh, don't do it. We have a counter, I think. Rico Blazing. Hey, man, what's going on? It's nuts. A lot. Officer Rico Blaze up in this. I got a couple of bones to pick with you. And they are big bones, baby. Cuz I'm a big bone man. All right? I like my big bone. And I like putting it into women who call themselves big bones. You know what I'm saying? Cuz I leave them big boned. All right? So nutsil. I've got a problem with that. Telling girls not to put things in their mind. Butts, of course. You got to put things in your butts, girl. How do you know if you like it or not? You can't just assume it's going to hurt you. I have a twoot moray eel that is dark black. It ain't got no teeth, girl. It'll go right in there. And it ain't eating you from the inside out. That's my job. You're going to wish I was in you. Chowing down, girl. Another thing. Yesterday this show was going on and on about what a black job was. That's easy. Find me a girl with blonde hair, albino skin, that weighs about 235. I'll show you what a black job is. Because I'm gonna do it. And don't think I'm not gonna drop a little eel sauce down her throat. Rico Blaze knows what a black job looks like. If I see a girl who can't fit in one seat on Southwest Airlines, why, that's a black job I'm going to do. I don't see any white guys lined up to do it. So every time you hear Trump or Kamala. Kamala putting on a little weight too. I can tell you right now, Kamala's not getting what she should be getting. I don't seen her husband. That man's eel is a goldfish. My eel's worried right now though, because he's out of his cave. And that's the only place he feels.

[Brady Bogans]

Safe for a warm cave.

[John Holmberg]

I'm looking for a nice, warm, white fat cave. Guess what the primaries were on Tuesday. My dick just won mine, Inspector.

[Brady Bogans]

Congratulations.

[John Holmberg]

That's right, Brady. Because big fat girls, what's yours is mine. And I'm inspecting it. Goddamn right. I got some police work to do. You know what I'm saying? We gotta search deep holes for missing kids. And there's only one man that can search as deep as I can, girl. Let me get a ruler and see if you fit into my. Oh. Oh, 12 inches. All right, let's see what we can do with that. Now let's get a yardstick and see how wide your ass is to see if you fit into my criteria. Do a little police training right now. You know what I'm talking about, bro. Remember those little lost soccer players? Yeah, I found them. They said they couldn't be found. I said, let me throw them a rope. I've been in bigger, fatter holes in this cave. Don't you worry about that, Miles.

[Brady Bogans]

That's amazing.

[John Holmberg]

It was pretty impressive, I have to say, even for myself. But I looked at that big, gaping hole, and I thought I met her at Bottle Blonde. I've done this before. It was about 1:56 in the morning, and she looked sad, but she wasn't sad much longer. She also didn't poop right until fall. Oh. Anyway, watch what you say in here, Homburg, about what white jobs and black jobs are. We know what a black job is. Every big, fat white lady out there smiling, going, oh, thank God for black jobs. I don't see Mexicans hopping over that fence, jumping in here to bang us white women. Now, I have to go right now because I got some police. Police work to do. Evidently, they've called for a rope at the Grand Canyon to pull someone out. I'll be gone. All right, boys, I'll see you later.

[Brady Bogans]

See you, Officer Rico.

[John Holmberg]

He's knocking. Stupid. Don't put eels in your ass. Let Rico do it. He could have saved him at the Grand Canyon. He probably could have flicked. Hang on. Step aside. Yeah. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Grab some protection. Here comes the best of Homburg's morning sickness. I'm 98 KUPD this weekend. I. I think I invented something amazing. And I've always talked about this. When an old man or an old lady dies alone, they're in a house alone, usually, like, for days, dead. And the thing that always tips off the neighbors is cats showing up at the house. Like, a lot of cats showed up. Or even, like, animals just show up to eat the dead old person. And I used to say, why don't they make cat food that tastes like old dead people? Because cats, like, they tell the other cats there's communication. Like, not one. Like, street cats will find the house with the old dead man in it. And very rarely does a dead young person have a house load of cats. Usually that's newspapers or something, mail, something starts piling up, but old people catch them. So I started thinking that was a good idea. It's kind of, you know, not a lot of takers on that at the Ken El Ration Company. Then I realized that I'm watching TV this weekend and I saw six or seven different ads for dog food food. And all of it looked good to me. Like the farmer's choice and nom nom and. And I get it.

[Brady Bogans]

It's like a plate of hash.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it looks amazing. Well, I. That's what we get farmers choices for. And it's expensive and you get it because it's supposed to be healthier and dogs get cancer now. And everybody says it's because the food's all processed up and weird and you know, have. But I think that. And this is true, like they always try to make it look like little raw, rare pieces of meat. Meat on the bag. Like it's appealing to us. Right. So we spend all this money on dog food. I'm in the hallway at my house the other day and no, I got five dogs. There's thousands of dollars going out the door at my house for dog food. The best you can get. And when my dog Dutchie got sick, discovered this, this pre packaged meal that was specific for her needs that would show. It was like we had a chef for the duck dog that was packaging of food and it was great. She was, it did wonders for her. But it was also looked. It also looked very good to me. So all the commercials were at least things like they poured in. Like you said, it looks like a thing of breakfast hash with eggs in the middle and little potatoes and like, man, that looks delicious. So. Oh, sneeze.

[Brady Bogans]

Bless you.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you. I'm in the hallway the other day with bus and we're wrestling around in the hall and there, there's a. The door that goes into where the cat eats is kind of this little. It's a corner room. So there's at the end of the hall, it turns to the right. You can't really see in that little spot. So we're wrestling the hallway and I leave for a second and I just hear, ugh, what is that? I go out in the hall and there's a mound cat puke in the hall. And he is just at it like it is the best thing that's ever hit his he. That he doesn't. He was devouring that like somebody dropped a butcher's cut filet in the middle. And he's looking at Me. And it's on his cheeks. And he's like, I don't know where this ambrosia came from, but thank you, God, for dropping this little bomb. Loving every second of it. Like, fast enough. I pushed him away. And then I hear, like, who else is in there? One of the little dogs went in and just. Just walked around the corner. And Frank's got a mouthful of cat right out of the litter box.

[Brady Bogans]

And I'm like, they eat puke the nut fluster.

[John Holmberg]

I'm spending thousands of dollars on food that, you know, that I think is good for me. And what we need is cat flavored dog food and puke flavored dog food. That would be the best. That's what they want. They go out of their way. There's a gate into the cat's room to keep them out specifically, because they'll eat all the. They can't get enough of the cat crap.

[Brady Bogans]

Oh, it's. It's gold.

[John Holmberg]

It's non stop. You have to put barriers between the dog and the litter box because whatever's coming out of that cat is so much more. And sometimes they don't eat and it doesn't reciprocate either.

[Brady Bogans]

Cats don't do it.

[John Holmberg]

No. Cats don't go outside and go, dog, this is great. It's. They bury their poop. Like, ugh, dumb dogs. We need to have. I'm starting a company that's gonna just say, with the rich, delicious flavor of cat. Your dog will never be happier. Like, I've never seen my dogs happier. Frank was chewing on it with his eye kind of half closed with half his mouth. Big old turd with the kitty litter on it. Like, I'll get past all the rocks. This is good. He could. And I'm thousands of dollars. And sometimes those little pricks have the nerve to just look at the bowl and go, nah, I'll go eat some cat.

[Brady Bogans]

Purina Cat Club now with flavor crystals.

[John Holmberg]

Dead old people, cat puke and cat. That's what they want. That's what our dogs crave. But it's not healthy for them. I'm not so sure. I don't know. My dogs are all living the same amount of time. I'm pretty sure that my thousand dollars worth of dog food is just the same as any sort of kibble that I'd buy at Safeway. Although you're ashamed out of that. And all they want is cat. That's it. They. They break their necks trying to get into that room.

[Brady Bogans]

I could see the commercial now. Remember the old commercial for the. The chuck wagon, where it comes out of the cabinet. Well, you got the cat clump or the cat yak.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogans]

And the box makes a sound of the puking into the bowl.

[John Holmberg]

Then the dogs start tearing around the corner, sliding on the tile. You smell the cat. Come on in, boys. That would be great. My cat yak. Delicious cat yak. Made from real cat gut. They can't get enough of it. And then. So another one would be women's flavored panties. Like they have puppies especially. Puppy food is just women's panties because they can't get enough of women's underwear when they're puppies. They eat it. You have to keep it off shoes. Just. We're wasting our time with wings. Steak and chicken.

[Brady Bogans]

Oh, dead carcass.

[John Holmberg]

I told you the story the other day when Gordon, my little angel Gordon had a pigeon in his mouth, and he's just. Eyes are tight. Crushing its head. Little part shot out of the other side of his mouth like he's enjoying a delicious fruit. All he wanted was bird brains. And there I am going, oh, it's got chicken and. And rice and vegetables. This, because it looks good to me. I've been fooled. I'm duped.

[Brady Bogans]

I pulled Coco off a desert toad yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's.

[Brady Bogans]

It was. Someone ran over it. A bike. So it was smashed. Had been there for overnight.

[John Holmberg]

Probably pick it right up the ground.

[Brady Bogans]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

So basically what dogs are telling us is that, hey, this you're feeding me, I don't want it. I want dead things I find or, you know, cat puke or poop. We. We waste our. I don't know how much you're spending on dog food. You got a couple of dogs, too. Both of you. It's like you. You go out of your way to get the best ones because they say, oh, the stuff at the store is senior. It's.

[Brady Bogans]

It's a senior formula.

[John Holmberg]

Dog cancer's on the rise.

[Brady Bogans]

Old cat poop, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yes, Just senior cat. Give me some more of that. That, like. I'm thinking maybe I'll just stop ordering all this dog food and collect Elgato Diablo's crap and put it in a bag and every day give it to him as cookies. Every couple days at my house, a box of chewy toys and snacks show up like it's better than, like. My house for food is mostly dogs, Mike.

[Brady Bogans]

Their pantry is full.

[John Holmberg]

My pantry is empty. My pantry is like flour. Ours, too. There's nothing in there. But the dogs have a whole cabinet in the kitchen of, you Know, dry snacks, little fake burgers that look like I want one of those. Like they're little grill marks. And I'm like, wait a second. I've been falling for the grill marks on dog food. Like, they've got. It looks like it just came fresh off the grill. I'm like, the dog doesn't care. Matthia came home with this bag of cookies that looked like Oreos. I mean, double stuffed and everything else. And she had right on the bag like, dog, don't eat this bread. I'm like, oh, look at that. Because I would have. Yeah, I don't think I have it. The little grill mark burgers, they're horrible. And I took a bite, like, oh, that looks like a little slider. I'm gonna put some bread on that. And it's awful. It's just awful. But I fell for it. And I'm spending a fortune on this stuff when really all they want is a bunch of catch puke. That sounds great to them. And I got grill marked cookies. And oh, I also have the sauce soft grill marks. And then the. The ones are a little harder that are thinner, also have grill marks on them. I'm like, who's that for? And how have I missed this? It's all for me.

[Brady Bogans]

It is. Boy, that looks good.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm sitting there going, they're gonna love this because I want to eat it. And then the little cookies that are shaped like gingerbread, but the dogs don't care. Just it's. Make it shaped like a turd and taste like a turd. And you're gonna have. This is. I don't know who's out there right now who has the ability to do this? Freddy. You know, guys who make all your sauce, there has to be like a little space in that warehouse where they can start making cat. Cat flavored food out of real. And just say it like authentic cat, not simulated. Like real stuff. There's so much cat crap in the world. All these, you know, shelters and stuff that clean up the poop and throw it away. Stop throwing it away. We'll put it in the mix. Your dogs will go bananas. And I don't think it's kosher. Yeah, yeah. Blessed by a rabbi for all the dogs. I don't know what you're saying, but thanks. Cat poop for my Jewish dog.

[Brady Bogans]

It is amazing how much they go out of their way on dog and cat food as far as organic, natural. And meanwhile, to the humans, here's your bag of Doritos.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Because we'll suck them down. Really? We should be feeding them. And, you know, I. I'm a avid soda consumer. I suck down loads of pop. If I spill it, I push them away so fast. Don't drink that. That's poison. I'm pouring it in my body like I'm a receptacle for it, but I won't let them lick it up at all. Like, they're not allowed to touch soda. Like, ah, get away from there. That'll kill you. That's horrible.

[Brady Bogans]

You don't want any of that.

[John Holmberg]

And I got their dogs just because I know what I'm putting in my body is poison. And I love it.

[Brady Bogans]

You're like grandma. Grandpa with a pack of cigarettes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Don't do this. Don't stay away. Do as I say, not as I do. Yeah, it's crazy. So I was. I've been thinking about that since it was Friday night. And, I mean, bus was just. It wasn't just eating it. He was, like, squishing it between his teeth. I don't even know dogs could do that. He's, like, loving having it in his mouth. And it was orange, and I saw it as I walked into the bathroom. Like, I get to that, right? Actually, what I said was, somebody needs to get to that again. Oh, Frank threw up a size of Frank the other day. He's. He's 12, 15 pounds. He threw up the other day, and I think, like, eight pounds of him came out and all the other dogs, like, ran towards it. They're at my house right now. If you don't clean the poop up fast, Bus has become a poop eater. I don't care. I'll still let him lick me. It doesn't bother me. You're really making Brady right in the mouth right after. Actually, I like it when there's chunks left and I just shoots it in there. That just makes Brady crazy. But it's. It's impossible. Like, he sits and waits. I think he'd eat it right out of the tap if. If the other dogs would hold still enough. He didn't.

[Brady Bogans]

I need a police tape sometimes. So that yak comes out. It's a sprint before. If the dogs discover it, it's.

[John Holmberg]

It's gone.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And sometimes, actually, I've allowed that to be the cleanup.

[Brady Bogans]

I just hate the fact that.

[John Holmberg]

Fact.

[Brady Bogans]

You know, the worst is when they get into the box. The litter box.

[John Holmberg]

The litter box.

[Brady Bogans]

Because the trail of the litter.

[John Holmberg]

See, I got a good litter system that doesn't trail. So you got to get on that Tiny little pellet you got. See, I couldn't deal with.

[Brady Bogans]

But there's a door close. I mean, it, It. It doesn't happen all that often, but you can.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, if they get a chance, they get a chance. They're going after it. Yeah, there's a gate with just a hole big enough for the cat to get through. And the little guys will figure out a way if that door stays cracked big enough and there's cat poop in there. They just. There's two gates, actually. One keeping them out of the hall, one keeping out of the cat's room and the hallway. You'll just hear every once in a while, like, God damn it, they just knocked the gate over. And then it's a free for all to the cat. Crazy. When they. And they know. They tell each other, when the gate's down, I'm going in. And one will distract the other. It's like you'll be in the room and the dog will stand next to you, like looking at you. And if you stop paying attention, they turn. All right, the cat. All my. I'm gonna check for more of that. They never, ever stop.

[Brady Bogans]

The look when they get busted is hilarious.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, like, stop. And they get a mouthful. Like, Frank had that, but he didn't stop. It was a Tootsie Roll. They're just chewing. He's looking around like, put that down. Drop it. You gotta buy more of this. Just buying grilled burgers. What's wrong with you? Are you stupid? I don't care about grill marks. And perfect grill marks, by the way, on these little sliders. It looks great. If I put those little things, those little dog codes, cookies on little buns, Hawaiian rolls, and served them to you. You'd open it up and go, nice job on the grill mark. Yeah, I know you'd be blown away at its authenticity.

[Brady Bogans]

Cross marks.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sometimes they're cross. Sometimes. Yeah, I got the straights. I saw the others that are. They're crisscross. I'm like, Those are probably $10 more to make me the. And then I just think of the guy at the factory just laughing himself to sleep. We're putting grill marks on the dog food. The idiots are sucking us up. I've been eating that alive for the longest time like a moron. So, yeah, start a company where it all is just what dogs actually want. Women's underpants, shoes, cat puke and cat crap. And I'm convinced because Yardley, my three legged dog, was the only one that used to eat the poop. And. And here's the thing. I asked a dog trainer, I'm like, what do I do? Like she, she, we can't keep her away from it. Like if they poop, she runs to it. He's like, hot sauce. Put hot sauce on. Like, all right. Well, evidently she's got a taste for that because that made her run faster.

[Brady Bogans]

Living in the Southwest, man.

[John Holmberg]

She grew up in Guadalupe or something. Because that dog loved little Sriracha. You couldn't get it hot enough. We were like putting like raw capsaic on the poop. The hotter the better. It was like ty poop at that point.

[Brady Bogans]

He was just gotta get her on the hot ones.

[John Holmberg]

She could, she could take it. They're just looking at you like nothing. Like you got more hot sauce than put some salt on this. You know, it'd be great is if this had grill marks on it. I think if you grilled up the dog poop. So I think Yardley, who used to be the only one that ate the poop, told bus, you gotta try this stuff. And then bus gave it a try. Like, that's great. You're right. I'm going in. And now he just stands behind Frank. When Frank starts to do the walk, like, oh yeah, soft serve. And he goes after it and you got to shoo him away. It's a, it's a. I'm telling you right now, it's a billion dollar business. For one of you guys who has some ambition. This one says you want him to stop. How about Brady's Barbecue Sauce? Nobody wanted that. Oh man. It'll go out of business. Maybe. This one says, my dog's a poop eater too. She's not allowed in the complex's dog park because of it. Don't need her getting sick. I don't know. It depends on how much they. It's terrible for your dog to eat other dog's poop. Like strangers. Dogs poo. It's just like us. You can lick your wife's butt, but you start licking too many butts and you're going to get a stomach ache. Like right now if Toledo was like with Lisa like on the back end and my ass. And he's going to be fine, cuz all of the germs and stuff have been transferred back and forth already. What if he starts being, you know.

[Brady Bogans]

Flipped up a tolerance?

[John Holmberg]

Maybe goes to a park and just starts, you know, anal Angus and somebody. He's gonna probably. He's gonna end up sick.

[Brady Bogans]

It's busy on someone in the zone.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no different with Your dogs, they're. They're used to each other's butts and what comes out of them. They're eating the same foods and stuff. It's a foreign element of another dog. It's like a candida. Like a lot of times the ladies with a new partner will end up with some sort of a thing inside of them because the bacteria doesn't mix yet your body's, it's a foreign substance to have your wiener banging around inside of them. And then their bodies go, hey, what was that? I'm not sure I like that. And then they have a couple days of like down there and then it goes away. And then you get used to you. Matt said he thought his cat was sick because for three weeks there was no poop litter box. Still, the greatest practical joke I've ever heard in my life was George Clooney and his roommate. Oh yeah. When he kept cleaning the poop and his roommate got nervous. My cat hasn't pooped in three days. And he didn't realize that Clooney was the one cleaning the cat box. So Clooney didn't tell him. And then a week later took, he took himself in the cat box. A man sized poop was in there. Like, I think your cat's okay now. But yeah, it's just, it's such a. What a racket. And we fall for it. And I don't consider myself too stupid, but man, is that stupid. Buying grill mark dog food, I mean, what's wrong with me? And then on the COVID it's like the pictures of the things like on the bag of food. The pictures of the stuff that's like, it's got like little steak cuts like a. It's got steak and it's a tri tip. And it's like, it's a New York steak. It's the butcher cut, but it's the picture of the T bone. And I'm like, that's only for me. Fancy feast served in the champagne glass.

[Brady Bogans]

It's got a little peas and corn.

[John Holmberg]

In it and stuff.

[Brady Bogans]

And you're like, oh, that must taste way better.

[John Holmberg]

That's great for the. That's good in it. Holberg's morning sickness. Holberg's morning sickness. Morning sickness. It's Dick Toledo.

[Brady Bogans]

And this best of content is brought to you by our [e-mail].

[John Holmberg]

If you've got AC issues, you need.

[Brady Bogans]

New AC unit.com where you can save thousands. Save time by buying [e-mail].

[John Holmberg]

This one, Donovan says that's on you spending all that money on dog food for an animal that will lead a of ton own poop. You're a bad Jew. Has nothing to do with being a Jew. It's caring. And then there is the other hand is the, the epidemic of dogs being less healthy now with the cancer is rampaging and it has to be processed cruddy foods that you buy. So it makes sense to go natural and all. You know, I, I know a lady who cooked a burger every morning for her dog. Dog every day. That was the dog's food. It's like a lean burger and then some chicken sometimes. And it was like that dog lived to be like 19. And I don't know if it had something to do with the diet or not, but it always ate lean, delicious meat. But our meat's full of stuff, so who knows what the hell's going on. But I just know that they love a dead old people cats. If you had dead old person chow in a cat bag. Oh, and just a picture of a cat dead. A dead old man. And then like his ribs like, oh, this part like just pictures of what's in there segmented out.

[Brady Bogans]

Like the beef that Freddy used to.

[John Holmberg]

Have in the restaurant. This is the brisket. A dead old man laying on his back. And it's got, yeah, it's got each, each area. Like, this is the, the rump roast. This is dead old man chest. Cats would just be like, you see them with little napkins in their collars and forks and knife. It's, it's a legitimate idea and it's a. But, but, but the commercials would turn people off, even though we all know deep down I could. The commercial would be, you know, hey, hey, it's John Holmberg here for a cat chow. Look, you're spending too much money on. I've got free tons of it from the shelter. I've got loads of cat crap. I've mixed it up with some whey, I don't know, protein. And we put it in there and watch this. Watch the dog what he chooses. Put a bowl of thousand dollar dog food down next to a bowl of cat crap. Guess which one your dog's running to.

[Brady Bogans]

Maybe we can get Tom Selleck in some new ads.

[John Holmberg]

Colonial doing a reverse mortgage also put.

[Brady Bogans]

Yourself into the cat food business.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogans]

Oh, Colonial Pen's dog food.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's brilliant. It is truly brilliant. It's gross, but it's brilliant. They eat all sorts of disgust. Like, yeah, dead, I found dead stuff chow. Like, I found a dead thing chow. Dead bird in the backyard. Chow.

[Brady Bogans]

With real feathers.

[John Holmberg]

If I put a dead bird. Bird in the backyard, I have to worry the dogs will fight over it. Never worry about them fighting over dinner. Ever. But if the dog. If there's a bird back there, it's going to look at each other like we might be in the scrap here. Because that's the most delicious thing in the house. I just think about, what was it?

[Brady Bogans]

Your uncle laying dead on the table. And like there's a guy that shows up in a van with a set of knives. The harvester.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you can put it on your driver's license. You want to donate to science or what do you want to do with.

[Brady Bogans]

The rest of it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I want to be able to. Benny Hanna shows up with his knives. All right, let's get right to it.

[Brady Bogans]

Get Susan all up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Uncle Doug's dead.

[Brady Bogans]

At least do the onion volcano, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

It's not a show for you, for the dogs, for Chrono. See, you're falling for it again. But that would be in the commercial as he's chopping the dead uncle up. You're gonna love this Fido. But that's it. You throw some eggs in there, make it at least pleasant looking.

[Brady Bogans]

But it's just cat.

[John Holmberg]

That's what they want on. They don't want any of the crap we're doing. Grill marks, dumbass. Watching bus. Just crush that puke. And I mean corrupt. Yeah, Dead animals in the back. That snake Gordon caught and tried to. He was going to eat that.

[Brady Bogans]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That was going to be his. Like it was a four foot beautiful. I called him Sammy. He picked that thing up and smashed it around like hey, hey, hey, hey. And Sammy was dead and gone immediately. Like Gordon did a number of on him. And then Gordon looked me like, I'm gonna eat the snake now. I'm like you. You're the 14 pounds of wimp. You're gonna eat a snake. You killed it. I'm gonna eat it now. I don't want what you give me. And that just means they're hungry for other things. They. Anything they find.

[Brady Bogans]

They go under a tree that has birds that roost in at night and all the poop is on the ground. Coco will lick the side.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, there's bird poop. I think that. Yeah, it's probably.

[Brady Bogans]

It's not even. That's. I know it's not the loves pigeons. No, it's those arrows and starlings.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, those boat crackers. See what it does with paint on cars? Yeah.

[Brady Bogans]

Greyhound park out in the.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, the one off the i10 that they couldn't go into because the pigeon poop. Pigeon poop is toxic. Taking it down, they just pushed it. Goose poop is definitely a delicacy for dogs. My dogs once fought my dog Katie and Chili long past rest of their son. I had a turtle, a little turtle I found on the side of the road. And I'd let him walk around. And the dogs loved the turtle. Like, this is the neatest thing ever. They weren't obsessed with it, but they watched it. And the turtle would just walk and then stop for a second and fire out this gelatinous brown. And it would just come out of him and then he'd just start walking away again. Well, Katie and Chili at the same time. And chili was about 15 pounds. Katie was about 70 at the same time. What? Went nose to nose on the poop. And I watched them look at each other like, son, bitch. And then Chili went. Chili went back down to eat it. Katie picked her up by the neck and just shook her. He was gonna kill her. They never had a beef in their lives. But turtle was too delicious not to fight over or try to kill your best friend over. And here I am. What if the farmer's choice. A thousand dollars for that and it's. And it comes to your house. It's got your dog's name on it for each specific diet. They have loads of that stuff in the Healthy Choice in little packages with each dog's name on it. Because this dog has gastrointestinal issues. This dog has valley fever. It doesn't matter. That dog wants turtle and will kill his best friend to have some disturbing. But if you're. If you. But you know, the economy's going to crash today. We're all going to lose our money. I better start feeding a cat poop. It's down 900 points right now. I'm not screwing around.

[Brady Bogans]

I already looked at crypto.

[John Holmberg]

Don't. Don't. Crypto isn't a thing. Don't look at that and compare it to like, I've been waiting for it to come back. It's not. And it's never. Well, it will someday, but it has nothing to do with the economy. It's just. That's gambling. Nasdaq's down 500% points. Market's down 900. You're going to lose all your money today. Just start collecting cat. Yeah. No more Farmers Fresh. Yeah, no more Farmers Fresh. That's. That's the stuff. Farmers Fresh. And I'm not Going to stop getting it. Because I'm still mentally convinced that I'm putting good. Putting good product in my dog's bowl. Meanwhile, the finest. They don't care dead stuff in the. I've had rabbits. I've had like desert rats, pigeons. Like, you just see them. And I know pigeons heads don't just fall off, but I found whole bodies before with no head. And I'm like these little sadistic. Not only find it, they decapitate it and chow down on brain. And I never find the head. And then occasionally cleaning up poop, you'll see remnants of some sort of. Sort of animal. It's a delicacy. It is. And yeah, it's like. Yeah, it's like a fois.

[Brady Bogans]

So we've had a. We came back from Thailand and we.

[John Holmberg]

Had that mama cat that had three.

[Brady Bogans]

Kittens in our backyard. Mama cat's still back there. And every ever, about every other day, she'll bring a bird around.

[John Holmberg]

Really just murdered. Yeah, they just. You can feed them all you want. They're still hungry for something else.

[Brady Bogans]

Actually appreciate because there's a lot less bird poop in my backyard now because she's taking care of him.

[John Holmberg]

Your dog's out. Your dog at home is a lot like Brady. You can have him over and give him a meal, but on the way home, he's gonna grab something, he's gonna pick something up and then add one more thing.

[Brady Bogans]

Second lunch.

[John Holmberg]

That was good, but I don't look like a pig. One frosty, please. You know what I like? What's the thing? When I've been waiting for you to throw it out there, they keep saying like, sauce rageous or something like that. That. And I'm like, oh, that's going to be. Brady's going to have T shirts with that on. Yeah. Wendy's has new catchphrase. I'm like, if Brady doesn't have a closet full of shirts that say that, I will lose all the bets. But, yeah, so just think about that next time you're buying all that stuff. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said, fully erect all they show with none of the fluff. Let's get started. There's more of the best of Hombre's morning sickness. It's time for Brady to entertain us all. It's brought to you by our friends, reactdefense.com, the home of Tactical Black. Which just dawned on me that if I'm going to that game tomorrow, I'm not going to be able to make it in there. Again tomorrow. Damn it. I've missed the last few times. And it's the suckiest part of getting a busy life is trying to find time to get in there and do the thing these guys have have. They're at it from 8 in the morning until 10 at night. They're always there. Their schedule is to keep it going. So if you're like me and you're like, jesus, my time. I just realized I'm not gonna be able to make it tomorrow because of this game and all the stuff that I. Well, you know what? Pick another time during the day, because they got classes all the time. They've got all sorts of stuff. It's on. It's very convenient, I'll tell you that. They've got everything offered to you. Cardio. They've got self defense. They've got, you know, the bag classes. Unbelievable. Teach you how to punch, kick, maneuver, footwork, all that stuff. You're getting great shape while you do it. And you don't have to have any skills coming in at all. You can be completely like. You could just land here from another planet and say, I've got nothing. I'm a lump of nothing. And you go in there and that starts you. And you. By the end of that class, you'd be like, okay, I got a little something. What else can I add to this? Every time you go, you will add something to your arsenal. And that's the best part about it. While you're getting in great shape, you'll look good, you'll feel good, you'll be good. Sheepdog. That's what they're looking for. No more sheep. Got a. Oh, I never read this. I gotta read this this morning before we forget. Speaking of things for Dave Grohl, before we get to the entertainment, just to say, hey, boys. And this is that moment again where airing your dirty laundry is so weird. Last month, guys, I got a DNA test and just found out I'm raising my wife's old college boyfriend's son. He's one in December, not even a year old yet. We've been married for six years. This prick's been hanging around the friend group for the last two years. And I had absolutely no idea, but evidently my. And we said it before. That's why I brought this up. My wife raw dogged the guy and then told me we were preggers. And despite me having little or no sex with her at the time because I was in a leg cast, we did, in fact have sex. So it wasn't impossible, but questionable. The timing. Anyway, I told her adios last night. Her ex boyfriend is a complete loser. So good luck with your bills. Now this gravy terrain is gone. And I know people will think I'm cold hearted, but I'm out completely not living the Maury loving lifestyle. I'm devastated. But I now know what I won't do for one more day. Be involved in that disaster. No DNA tests. I usually agree with you and I listen all the time. But in this case, it saved the day. Happy 9 11, Marcus. How about that one? And he caught it in under a year. Which means the love for the child hadn't kicked in yet. He could walk away. Good for you, Marcus. That's great. You abandoned that woman and that child that you thought was yours. You knew your life. DNA tested, found out it's his. See ya. And then it begs the question, at what age does the DNA test mean? Well, I still gotta stick around. I love the kid. Mine's 45. If he makes it through 45 years of me as his father, then maybe I'll stick around. Man, that's a tough one. Because he's here at. What is it? December's the birthday. So it's 10 months old. Yeah. Nine. Can't be too attached. You can walk away from that. Be out. Yeah. Yeah. If there's a time to not be attached. And better still, the baby doesn't know anything yet. Right? Right. So now it's time to disappear from those lives. It's tough. Can't believe I'm saying it, but. Pull a full Toledo. But it's not even a full Toledo. It's a half Toledo. Because it's not even your kid. Just kiss the baby on the forehead. Tell them goodbye and tell them your mom's a. And just leave. Whisper. Yeah. Before you leave, whisper in the baby's ear. Mama's a.

[Brady Bogans]

Play this. When you turn 18, you. There you go.

[John Holmberg]

You are the baby that grew in her loins. That is not of my ilk. Because your mother's a. Your real father's name is Gavin. And he's fat. Poor. Yeah. Make a little tape for. For him. Wow, that's tough. Nine months. You could walk off of that, couldn't you? Yes. I liked you. Too bad. I don't know. You could do it. Nine months. You could walk away from that. So what is the age? What do you mean? How old? It has to be how old before you can leave and feel okay about it or not be part of that day after the first year. What are you talking About? No, no, I'm saying. Saying, like, let's say the kid's six, and you do this.

[Brady Bogans]

Okay, that's. That's makes it tough.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Then you're like, loved it and stuff. This is why I always say never date a single mother, because you're gonna fall for the kid too. And when you break up, you gotta dump the whole family. Oof. Peace out. Good job, Marcus. Happy nine. Eleven to you as well. Nine months. I'm with Brad. So you'd. You'd say six years old, you'd kiss the kid? That was fun while it lasted. You're not kidding. I'm not staying with your mom. I'm not saying that. What? Do you stay. What are you doing? What? I love that. Because, like, well, could. But then you just immediately dismiss the kid from your life forever. You Toledo it. Yeah, you could do that.

[Brady Bogans]

Six years, so.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's got plenty of years ahead of him. That's true. It's only 74 more years. Yeah, look, he did six with you in, 74 out. It's like a prison sentence, right? Not too tough. Not mine.

[Brady Bogans]

He might be curious later. Later on.

[John Holmberg]

About what? If his mom's a. I'll confirm it.

[Brady Bogans]

What happened? So where'd that guy go? Yeah, did she tell him the story?

[John Holmberg]

Better hope she doesn't find Brett. He'll tell her. Oh, yeah. Oh, he's gonna blame his mom. That's an easy one. Your mother's a whore. What do you mean? Yeah, you're not my kid. I was only there under the pretense. And then once I found out that you're bait, I left immediately.

[Brady Bogans]

Your mother fell and skewered herself on some tea.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, your mom couldn't stop hopping on strange D. Because that's what who is do. Anywho, enjoy your life straight, Nash. I'm out the door. Yeah, it would be easy to do in the hospital. Oh, yeah, I could still do it. Do the. The highly suspect Baby's not the right color. Hey, hold on. I asked Johnny about that, and I said, did that actually happen? He goes, yep. I said, that song 16 is true. He goes, Every word of it. Sixteen years to find you. One second to love you. Or what was it? Sixteen years. Seven years to hold you. One second to love you and then it would leave you and it was over. And he said, the baby's a brother and I'm not. He failed. Crushing blow. Anyway. That's interesting. Thanks for the email, Marcus.

[Brady Bogans]

Entertainment Weekly put together a list of the top ten medical shows ever of all time.

[John Holmberg]

ER has to be.

[Brady Bogans]

It was number one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you know what?

[Brady Bogans]

1994 to 2009, a great one.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody pays attention to that. Should get more accolades than it was Saint Elsewhere and St.

[Brady Bogans]

Elsewhere is number four.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That was one of the best shows that's ever been on. You look at the people that were on it. Denzel Washington, Ed Begley Jr. Howie Mandel, William Daniels. Like it is a cast loaded.

[Brady Bogans]

Number two, Dr. Kildare.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's British.

[Brady Bogans]

1961. Oh, that's way back to 66.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogans]

I never did make the top ten list. At number nine, it was.

[John Holmberg]

Does mash make it? I mean, that was.

[Brady Bogans]

Mash was number six.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogans]

It made it scrubs five. Saying elsewhere four. Like we said another one on HBO. Getting on 2013 to 2015 on HBO. Chicago hope was number eight. And house.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and then Nurse Jackie, which is number 10. Grey's Anatomy's not on it.

[Brady Bogans]

It is number three.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah. That's the only one we didn't hit.

[John Holmberg]

That's like 20 years.

[Brady Bogans]

The south park guys are tired of presidential politics. That's one reason why season 27 is being delayed until next time year.

[John Holmberg]

They've pretty much iced out Garrison as Trump. They did that back in 16, and it was hilarious. His running mate was. Caitlyn Jenner was nuts. They did it again in 20, and they've done it before. They did it with McCain and Obama. They always do the. The crap sandwich versus the douche. That's what they always say that. And it's. I can see where they're tired of. It's got to be draining.

[Brady Bogans]

Matt Stone says we've hit south park through four, four or five presidential elections, and it's such a hard thing to do. Such a mind scramble. It seems like it takes outsized importance, kind of takes over everything. We just. And when we have less fun doing it.

[John Holmberg]

That's kind of how I feel about this, which is. I don't. I don't want to get. We have to talk about politics sometimes. I don't want to become political. You know, it's draining. You see it.

[Brady Bogans]

You see yesterday, man, you guys are talking a lot more politics.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, this.

[Brady Bogans]

This year, it's.

[John Holmberg]

It's the pop culture of our generation. It's unfortunately the thing we all know. Again, I can sit and talk to you guys all day until I'm blue in the face about serial killer versus the savior, but you haven't seen. It's not on at the same time for you. It is. So we can't talk about. But no I know for sure. I can tell you see what Trump said and you're going to pretty much be on it. It's the only thing we're all up to date with. And that's sad.

[Brady Bogans]

Derek Lee Cardello Smith just was that one person or more. That's one dude. And he took Diddy to court.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah.

[Brady Bogans]

Over sexual assault allegations against guys in prison. Takes Diddy to court. The judge award him 100 million dollar default judgment. What Diddy do to him and this guy? You know, Diddy's lawyer basically says this guy's a convicted felon, a sexual predator who's been sentenced on 14 counts of sexual assault and kidnapping over the last 26 years. His resume now includes committing a fraud on the court from prison. As Mr. Combs has never heard of him or let alone been served by any lawsuit. Mr. Combs looks forward to having the judgment swiftly dismissed.

[John Holmberg]

So Puff Daddy allegedly raped him. $100 million worth.

[Brady Bogans]

The guy took him to court, said, yeah, just took a huge L. Is.

[John Holmberg]

It just a day of rape? Come. What's the time frame of rape here for 100 million? Cuz sign me up. What are you kidding me? 24 hours?

[Brady Bogans]

I had to think of the numbers.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. 100 million for a single rape. I mean, if it was a prisoner suit.

[Brady Bogans]

Diddy drugged him and sexually assaulted him at a party in Detroit back in 1997.

[John Holmberg]

Just once.

[Brady Bogans]

It is unclear. Yeah, it sounds like it's the one.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna get a tramp stamp. A boom boom room. Right, right. Right above. There is no I'd get a pup tattoo. I'd be one time. Let me show you my boom boom room. I've had awkward sexual exchanges once. Hundred million dollars. That's scary because it's 27 years later too. It's like, ah, when. When does that go away?

[Brady Bogans]

According to the lawsuit, Smith said the two were drinking, smoking weed at a party, got naked with a bunch of women. And he said he was performing oral sex on a woman when he felt a male hand on his left butt. He says it was Diddy's hand. A short time later, as Diddy offered him a drink, which was spiked and he passed out.

[John Holmberg]

And then did he did him. Did he did it.

[Brady Bogans]

Hours later he woke up. Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Rubber stamp. 100 million.

[Brady Bogans]

He woke up and saw Diddy having sex with a woman. And Diddy said, I did this to you too.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. He got $100 million for that. Slept through the whole thing.

[Brady Bogans]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Knock me out and go crazy. Give me A pill that puts me out for 24 hours and have at me for $100 million. That's like a Japanese game show. I'm in. I'm in. And I don't. I kind of remember it, but the only thing I really remember is waking up seeing Puff Daddy banging a girl, going, you. You were last. I did this to you. Like, no kidding. How about that? All right.

[Brady Bogans]

Shaq was on a podcast.

[John Holmberg]

Some people have all the luck.

[Brady Bogans]

And Rod Stewart sang it. Well, it's not a done deal.

[John Holmberg]

I know, but even. Even if they cut that into thirds, I've had some awkward sexual exchanges in 1997. I can go back. I didn't rape anybody, but I'm sure I owe a few girls, like, eight or nine thousand bucks. If that's the going rate for an awkward exchange change, 100 million.

[Brady Bogans]

And the big news in the music world, Chester Bennington's son lasts. Mike Shinoda for replacing his dad. Late dad.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady Bogans]

With Emily Armstrong. There's a Scientology.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She's a science.

[Brady Bogans]

Part of it, that she was backing Danny Masters, Masterson and the whole thing.

[John Holmberg]

Thing.

[Brady Bogans]

And then, I don't know, he's just not real happy.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he's not happy because Chester had come out and been very vocal about having had sexual abuse in his past, physical abuse in his past, was an advocate for all sorts of that, you know, speak up kind of stuff. And this girl backed a rapist after his conviction with one of those letters like Mila and what's his name from.

[Brady Bogans]

Him punked and Brett. He said, I can't believe you went with a broad.

[John Holmberg]

And that's the other thing. It's like it's abroad. But again, you know, devil's advocate on that. Unfortunately, your dad killed himself and left that band high and dry. You don't have a say. My dad's job. I never. Hey, I'm Dan's son. And I can't believe you're like, they wouldn't like. I don't care who you are. You're Dan's. Stop building. Yeah. You don't. Yeah. You don't know what you're talking about. You weren't in the band.

[Brady Bogans]

So you want this to be successful, son, because you're still going to get your race.

[John Holmberg]

There's money, right?

[Brady Bogans]

Toledo.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's the rake. That's. You got to get the rake. Brady learned that this morning. He's going to start throwing it around a little bit more. I want my rake. That's just money off the top. The fig. The rake. That's a poker table term. Yeah, but. Yeah, this is about money. This isn't about his. I can't believe you've hired that girl. He must. He must have a bad deal with the name. And they're going to make money off of his dad.

[Brady Bogans]

Kind of hypes it up a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. I'm here on the job site with.

[Brady Bogans]

Dale, who's a framing contractor.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, good morning. Dale traded up to Geico Commercial Auto Insurance for all his business vehicles. We're here where he needs us most. Yep, they sure are.

[Brady Bogans]

We make it easy for him to.

[John Holmberg]

Save on all his insurance needs, all in one place with coverage that fits his business and bottom line.

[Brady Bogans]

Oh, I shouldn't have looked down.

[John Holmberg]

It's all right. We're so far up here. Look at me. Take a deep breath. Oh, I'm good. So good. Get a commercial auto insurance quote [e-mail] and see how much you could save. Get more with Geico. How do you make an Airbnb? A VRBO picture a vacation rental with a host who's showing you every room like you've never seen a house before.

[Brady Bogans]

Now get rid of them.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. No host ever. Now it's a verbo. Make it a verbo.