08-26-25 - Seeing His Dogs Love For Cat Puke And Poop And Cats Love Of Dead People John Has An Idea To Make A New Tyoe Of Kibble BO

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – 08-26-25

Episode Title: Seeing His Dogs Love For Cat Puke And Poop And Cats Love Of Dead People John Has An Idea To Make A New Type Of Kibble
Air Date: August 26, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Notable Guest: Frank Caliendo (brief appearance)

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Brief Overview

In this episode, the HMS crew dives into the strange and hilarious reality of what pets truly enjoy eating, sparking a running gag about new, bizarre pet food flavors. Inspired by his own dogs’ obsession with cat puke and poop, and cats’ infamous taste for dead things, John Holmberg leads a discussion lampooning the pet food industry and the disconnect between what owners buy and what their animals actually crave. What starts as classic morning show banter quickly becomes a satirical brainstorm for “authentic” pet food—think cat yak, dead old man chow, and women’s underwear puppy treats.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Spark: Animals’ Real Food Preferences

• John gets candid about finding his dogs obsessed with cat vomit and feces, despite his investment in expensive, healthy dog food.
• Points out the disconnect between “gourmet” commercial pet foods (heavily marketed to humans) and what animals naturally seek out (often disgusting to us, like dead things or cat byproducts).

"I'm spending thousands of dollars on food that, you know, that I think is good for me. And what we need is cat flavored dog food and puke flavored dog food. That would be the best."
—John Holmberg [05:06]

Dogs’ Love for Cat Poop and Cat Puke

• The team shares stories:
  • John’s dog devouring cat puke with ecstatic pleasure.
  • Dogs breaking physical barriers (baby gates, doors) to get to cat litter.
  • Multiple dogs at John’s home ganging up to get at the litter box.
  • Brady notes that cats don’t reciprocate—they aren’t interested in dog poop.

“You have to put barriers between the dog and the litter box because whatever’s coming out of that cat is so much more... They break their necks trying to get into that room.”
—John Holmberg [05:31]

Parody Product Brainstorm

• Satirical takes on new pet food products:
  • Cat yak dog food: “Delicious cat yak... made from real cat gut.”
  • Women’s underwear puppy treats: “Puppy food is just women’s panties because they can’t get enough of women’s underwear when they’re puppies.”
  • “Dead old person chow” for cats, complete with different body parts segmented on the label.
  • Cat Club with flavor crystals (Brady’s joke).
  • Bird carcass treats, turtle droppings, and even “snake” as gourmet dog food options.

“Your dog at home is a lot like Brady. You can have him over and give him a meal, but on the way home, he’s gonna grab something, he’s gonna pick something up and then add one more thing.”
—John Holmberg [30:27]

The Absurdity of Pet Food Marketing

• The crew riffs on the lengths pet food companies go to make pet food visually appealing—to humans!
  • Grill marks on dog “burgers.”
  • Cookies shaped like Oreos or gingerbread men.
  • Fancy food in champagne glasses (Dick) and “butcher cuts” on packaging.
• John admits he’s bought into the marketing, even tasting a dog treat once because it looked so good.
• Underlines that dogs do not care about the presentation or ingredients as advertised.

“I've been falling for the grill marks on dog food... Like they've got—it looks like it just came fresh off the grill. Like the dog doesn't care.”
—John Holmberg [09:01]

Morbid but Funny: Cats & Dead People

• John’s long-running idea: cat food flavored like old dead people, based on the idea that stray cats flock to homes where someone has died, drawn by the scent.
• Imagines horrifying but hilarious marketing—complete with body-part segmentation on the label and tongue-in-cheek commercials.

“Why don’t they make cat food that tastes like old dead people? Because cats...tell the other cats—there's communication—like, not one. Like, street cats will find the house with the old dead man in it.”
—John Holmberg [01:41]

The Truth About Pet Diets & Pet Health

• John and Brady debate whether "going natural" (home-cooked meals) is better for longevity, referencing owners who cook hamburgers for their dogs.
• Discusses increased rates of cancer in dogs—wondering if it’s the processed foods, but ultimately points out all the money spent on premium food doesn’t stop pets from hunting for gross stuff.

“I know a lady who cooked a burger every morning for her dog... that dog lived to be like 19. And I don’t know if it had something to do with the diet or not.”
—John Holmberg [22:51]

Hilarious Personal and Listener Anecdotes

• Stories include:
  • A dog who loves “hot-sauce on poop” (Southwest flair!).
  • Brady’s dog fighting over turtle poop in the backyard.
  • Listener texts about their own “poop eating” pets and practical jokes (e.g., George Clooney’s legendary cat box prank).
• Running theme: Pet owners spend fortunes while pets long for the weirdest things.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dogs and cat puke:

  "He's looking at me and it's on his cheeks...I don't know where this ambrosia came from, but thank you, God for dropping this little bomb."
  —John Holmberg [03:50]

• On the most honest pet food commercial:

  "With the rich, delicious flavor of cat, your dog will never be happier."
  —John Holmberg [05:42]

• The dog food industry’s real target:

  "Who's that for? How have I missed this? It's all for me."
  —John Holmberg [09:18]

• On training dogs to avoid poop:

  "They like hot sauce. Put hot sauce on. Like, all right, well, evidently she's got a taste for that because that made her run faster."
  —John Holmberg [17:14]

• Ultimate comparison:

  "It's just like us. You can lick your wife's butt. But you start licking too many butts, you're gonna get a stomachache."
  —John Holmberg, humorously comparing pet behavior to human relationships [18:33]

• On the futility of premium food:

  "If I put a dead bird in the backyard, I have to worry the dogs will fight over it. Never worry about them fighting over dinner, ever."
  —John Holmberg [25:08]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |------------|------------------------------------------------------| | 01:41 | John introduces the “dead old people” cat food idea | | 03:30-05:06| Stories about dogs eating cat puke and poop | | 05:30-07:00| Satirical brainstorm of dog food flavors (cat, puke) | | 07:38 | Women’s underwear as a flavor for puppies | | 09:00-10:00| Grill marks and marketing tricks in dog food | | 14:48-16:33| More on dogs sneaking into litter boxes | | 17:14 | The “hot sauce on dog poop” routine | | 19:10-20:00| Listener anecdotes and practical jokes | | 23:53 | Imagining “dead old person chow” for cats | | 25:07-26:00| Competition over dead animal “delicacies” | | 28:47 | Economic crash riff—“start feeding cat poop” |

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Tone & Style

• Informal, irreverent, and loaded with dark humor
• Satirical edge—mocking pet industry, poking fun at themselves and each other
• Relatable stories—common experiences for pet owners, shared with exaggerated comedy

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

If you’ve ever questioned why you’re buying boutique dog food, or if your pets have a taste for the bizarre, this episode is a must-hear. John and the HMS crew lay bare the comedic yet surprisingly true divide between what we buy for our pets and what they really want. Expect raucous laughter, a bit of gross-out humor, and enough oddball business ideas to make your next trip down the pet food aisle...unforgettable.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Mo]

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[John Holmberg]

Here comes the best of Holmberg's morning sickness. I'm 90AKUPD this weekend. I think I invented something amazing and I've always talked about this. When an old man or an old lady dies alone, they're in a house alone. Usually like for days dead. And the thing that always tips off the neighbors is cats showing up at the house. Like I said, a lot of cats showed up or even like animals just show up to eat the dead old person. And I used to say why don't they make cat food that tastes like old dead people? Because cats like they tell the other cats there's communication like not one. Like street cats will find the house with the old dead man in it. And very rarely does a dead young person have A house load of cats. Usually that's newspapers or something, mail. Something starts piling up. But old people catch them. So I started thinking that was a good idea. And it's kind of, you know, not a lot of takers on that at the kennel ration company. Then I realized that I'm watching TV this weekend, and I saw six or seven different ads for dog food. And all of it looked good to me. Like the farmer's choice and nom nom. And I get it.

[Brady]

It's like a plate of hash.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it looks amazing. Well, that's what we get farmer's choices for. And it's expensive. And you get it because it's supposed to be healthier. And dogs get cancer now. And everybody says it's cause the food's all processed up and weird and, you know, but I think that. And this is true, like, they always try to make it look like little rare pieces of meat on the bag. Like it's appealing, right? So we spend all this money on dog food. I'm in the hallway at my house the other day, and no, I got five dogs. There's thousands of dollars going out the door at my house for dog food. The best you can get. And when my dog Dutchie got sick, discovered this. This prepackaged meal that was specific for her needs, that would show. It was like. We had a chef for the dog. It was packaging of food, and it was great. She was. It did wonders for her. But it was also looked. It also looked very good to me. So all the commercials were these things like they poured in, like you said. It looks like a thing of breakfast hash with eggs in the middle and little potatoes. And like, man, that looks delicious. So, uh. Oh, sneeze. Bless you. Thank you. I'm in the hallway the other day with bus, and we're wrestling around in the hall. And there's the door that goes into where the cat eats is kind of this little. It's a corner room. So there's at the end of the hall, it turns to the right. You can't really see in that little spot. So we're wrestling the hallway, and I leave for a second and I just hear, ugh, what is that? I go on the hall and there's a mound cat puke in the hall. And he is just at it. Like, it is the best thing that's ever hit his he. That he doesn't. He was devouring that. Like somebody dropped a butcher's cut filet in the middle. And he's looking at me and it's on his cheeks. And he's like, I don't know where this ambrosia came from, but thank you, God for dropping this little bomb. Loving every second of it. I'm like, fast enough. I pushed him away. And then I hear like, who else is in there? One of the little dogs went in and just walked around the corner. And Frank's got a mouthful of cat right out of the litter box. And I'm like, they eat puke.

[Brady]

The nut cluster.

[John Holmberg]

I'm spending thousands of dollars on food that, you know, that I think is good for me. And what we need is cat flavored dog food and puke flavored dog food. That would be the best. That's what they want. They go out of their way. There's a gate into the cat's room to keep them out specifically because they'll eat all the. They can't get enough of the cat crap.

[Brady]

Oh, it's gold.

[John Holmberg]

It's non stop. You have to put barriers between the dog and the litter box because whatever's coming out of that ca cat is so much more. And sometimes they don't eat.

[Brady]

And it doesn't reciprocate either. Cats don't do it.

[John Holmberg]

No, Cats don't go outside. Dog. This is great. It's. They bury their poop like dumb dogs. We need to have. I'm starting a company that's going to just say with the rich, delicious flavor of cat. Your dog will never be happier. Like, I've never seen my dogs happier. Frank was chewing on it with his eye kind of half closed. Would have his mouth. Big old turd with, with, with the kitty litter on it. Like, I'll get past all the rocks. This is good. He could. And I'm thousands of dollars. And sometimes those little pricks have the nerve to just look at the bowl and go, nah, I'll go eat some cat.

[Brady]

Purina Cat Club now with flavor crystals.

[John Holmberg]

Dead old people, cat puke and cat. That's what they want. That's what our dogs crave. But it's not healthy for them. I'm not so sure. I don't know. My dogs are all living the same amount of time. I'm pretty sure that my thousand dollars worth of dog food is just the same as any sort of kibble that I'd buy at Safeway. Although you're ashamed out of that. And all they want is cat. That's it. They break their necks trying to get into that room.

[Brady]

I could see the commercial now. Remember the old commercial for the truck wagon where it comes out of the cabinet. Well, you got the cat clump or the cat yak.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And the box makes a sound of the puking into the bowl.

[John Holmberg]

The dogs start tearing around the corner, sliding on the tile. You smell the cat. Come on in, boys. That would be great. That's my cat yak. Delicious cat yak. Made from real cat gut. They can't get enough of it. And then. So another one would be women's flavored panties. Like, they have puppies, especially. Puppy food is just women's panties because they can't get enough of women's underwear when they're puppies, they eat it. You have to keep it off the shoes. Just. We're wasting our time with our bird wings. Steak and chicken.

[Brady]

Oh, dead carcasses.

[John Holmberg]

I told you the story the other day when Gordon, my little angel Gordon, had a pigeon in his mouth, and he's just. Eyes are tight. Crushing its head. Little part shot out of the other side of his mouth like he's enjoying a delicious fruit. All he wanted was bird brains. And there I am going, oh, it's got chicken and rice and vegetables. This, because it looks good to me. I've been fooled. I'm duped.

[Brady]

I pulled cocoa off a desert toad yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's.

[Brady]

Someone ran over it. A bike. So it was smashed. It'd been there for overnight.

[John Holmberg]

Probably pick it right up the ground. This is good.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

So basically what dogs are telling us is that, hey, this you're feeding me, I don't want it. I want dead things I find or, you know, cat puke or poop. We. We waste our. I don't know how much you're spending on dog food. You got a couple of dogs, too. Both of you. It's like you. You go out of your way to get the best ones because they say, oh, the stuff at the store is senior. It's.

[Brady]

It's senior formula.

[John Holmberg]

Dog cancer's on the rise.

[Brady]

Old cat poop, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's just a senior cat. Give me some more of that. Like, I'm thinking, maybe I'll just stop ordering all this dog food and collect Elgato Diablo's crap and put it in a bag and every day give it to him as cookies. Every couple days at my house, a box of chewy toys and snacks show up like, it's better than, like, my house for food is mostly dogs.

[Brady]

Their pantry is full.

[John Holmberg]

My pantry is empty. My pantry is like flour. Ours, too, man. There's nothing in there. But the dogs have a whole cabinet in the kitchen of, you know, dry snacks, little fake burgers that look like I want one of those. Like they're little grill marks. And I'm like, wait a second. I've been falling for the grill marks on dog food. Like they've got. It looks like it just came fresh off the grill. Like the dog doesn't care.

[Brett Vesely]

Matthiah came home with this bag of cookies that looked like Oreos. I mean, double stuffed and everything else. And she had right on the bag.

[John Holmberg]

Like, dog, don't eat this bread. And I'm like, oh, look at that. Because I would have. Yeah, I don't think I have it. The little grill mark burgers, they're horrible. And I took a bite, like, oh, that looks like a little slider. I'm going to put some bread on that. And it's awful. It's just awful. But I fell for it. And I'm spending a fortune on this stuff when really all they want is a bunch of catch puke. That sounds great to them. And I got grill marked cookies and oh, I also have the soft grill marks. And then the ones that are a little harder, that are thinner also have grill marks on them. I'm like, who's that for? And how have I missed this? It's all for me.

[Brady]

It is. Boy, that looks good.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm sitting there going, they're gonna love this because I want to eat it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Cumbers Morning.

[John Holmberg]

Culberg's Morning Sickness 28 KUBD hey, you.

[Frank Caliendo]

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group. And Doug hopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this, though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house, cash. As is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1, 800, now Holmberg's Morning Sickness. And then the little cookies that are shaped like gingerbread. But the dogs don't care. Just it's make it shaped like a turd and taste like a turd and you're going to have. This is a. I don't know who's out there right now. Who has the ability to do this? Freddie, you know guys who make all your sauce, there has to be like a little space in that warehouse where they can start making cat. Cat flavored food out of real. And just say it. Like authentic cat, not simulated. Like real stuff. There's so much cat crap in the world. All these, you know, shelters and stuff that clean up the poop and throw it away. Stop throwing it away. We'll put it in the mix. Your dogs will go bananas. And I don't think it's kosher. Yeah, yeah. Blessed by a rabbi for all the dogs. I don't know what you're saying, but thanks. Cat poop for my Jewish dog.

[Brady]

It is amazing how much they go out of their way on dog and cat food as far as organic, natural. And meanwhile, to the humans, here's your bag of Doritos.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Because we'll suck them down. Really, we should be feeding them. And you know, I'm an avid soda consumer. I suck down loads of pop. If I spill it, I push them away so fast. Don't drink that. That's poison. I'm pouring it in my body like I'm a receptacle for it, but I won't let them lick it up at all. Like, they're not allowed to Touch soda. Like, ah, get away from that. That'll kill you. That's horrible. You don't want any of that. And I got their dogs. Just because I know what I'm putting in my body is poison. And I love it.

[Brady]

You're like grandma. Grandpa with a pack of cigarettes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Don't do this. Don't stay away. Do as I say, not as I do. Yeah, it's crazy. So I was. I've been thinking about that since it was Friday night. And I mean, bus was just. It wasn't just eating it. He was like, squishing it between his teeth. I don't even know dogs could do that. He's like, loving having it in his mouth. And it was orange, and I saw it as I walked into the bathroom. Like, I gotta get to that. Right? Actually, what I said was, somebody needs to get to that. Oh, Frank threw up a size of Frank the other day. He's 12, 15 pounds. He threw up the other day, and I think, like eight pounds of him came out and all the other dogs, like, ran towards it. At my house right now, if you don't clean the poop up fast, buses. Become a poop eater. I don't care. I'll still let him lick me. It doesn't bother me. You're really making Brady nausea's right in the mouth right after, actually. I like it when there's chunks left and he shoots it in there. That just makes Brady crazy. But it's. It's impossible. Like, he sits and waits. I think he'd eat it right out of the tap if. If the other dogs would hold still enough.

[Brady]

I need a police tape. Sometimes that yak comes out, it's a sprint before. If the dogs discover it, it's.

[John Holmberg]

It's gone. Yeah. And sometimes, actually, I've allowed that to be the cleanup.

[Brady]

I just hate the fact. You know, the worst is when they get into the box. The litter box.

[John Holmberg]

The litter box.

[Brady]

Because the trail of the litter.

[John Holmberg]

See, I got a good litter system that doesn't trail, so you got to get on that. Tiny little pellets you got. See, I couldn't deal.

[Brady]

But there's a door. I mean, it. It doesn't happen all that often, but you can.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, if they get a chance, they get a chance. They're going after it. Yeah. There's a gate with just a hole big enough for the cat to get through. And the little guys will figure out a way. If that door stays cracked big enough and there's cat poop in there, they just don't there's two gates, actually. One keeping them out of the hall, one keeping out of the cat's room and the hallway. You'll just hear every once in a while like, ah, damn it, they just knocked the gate over. And then it's a free for all to the cat. Crazy. And they know. They tell each other, when the gate's down, I'm going in. And one will distract the other. It's like you'll be in the room and the dog will stand next to you, like looking at you, and if you stop paying attention, they turn. All right, the cat, all mine. I'm gonna check for more of that. They never ever stop.

[Brady]

The look when they get busted is hilarious.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, like, stop. And they get a mouthful. Like, Frank had that, but he didn't stop. It was a Tootsie Roll. Just chewing. I was looking at me like, put that down. Drop it. You gotta buy more of this. Just buying grilled burgers. What's wrong with you? Are you stupid? I don't care about grill marks. And perfect grill marks, by the way, on these little sliders. It looks great. If I put those little things, those little dog cookies on little buns, Hawaiian rolls, and served them to you, you'd open up and go, nice job on the grill marks. Yeah, I know. You'd be blown away at its authenticity.

[Mo]

Cross marks.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sometimes they're cross. Sometimes. Yeah, I got the straights. I saw the others that are. They're crisscross. I'm like, Those are probably $10 more to make me the. And then I just think of the guy at the factory just laughing himself to sleep. We're putting grill marks on the dog food and the idiots are sucking it up. I've been eating that alive for the longest time like a moron. So, yeah, start a company where it all is just what dogs actually want. Women's underpants, shoes, cat puke and cat crap. And I'm convinced because Yardley, my three legged dog, was the only one that used to eat the poop. And, and here's the thing. I asked a dog trainer, I'm like, what do I do? Like, she, she, we can't keep her away from it. Like, if they poop, she runs to it. They like hot sauce. Put hot sauce on. Like, all right, well, evidently she's got a taste for that because that made her run faster.

[Brady]

Living in the Southwest, man.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus. She was. She grew up in Guadalupe or something. Because that dog loved little sriracha on there. You couldn't get it hot enough. We Were like, putting, like, raw capsaicin on the poop. The hotter, the better. It was like typh poop. At that point, she was just.

[Brady]

Gotta get her on the hot ones.

[John Holmberg]

She could. She could take it. They're just looking at you like nothing. Like, you got more hot sauce. There's a little. Put some salt on this. You know what would be great is if this had grill marks on it. I think if you grilled up the dog poop. So I think Yeardley, who used to be the only one that ate the poop, told Bus, you gotta try this stuff. And then Buss gave it a try. Like, that's great. You're right. I'm going in. And now he just stands behind Frank. When Frank starts to do the walk, like, oh, yeah, soft serve. And he goes after it, and you gotta shoo him away. I'm telling you right now. It's a billion dollar business. For one of you guys who has some ambition. This one says, you want him to stop. How about Brady's barbecue sauce? Nobody wanted that. It'll go out of business. Maybe. This one says, my dog's a poop eater too. She's not allowed in the complex's dog park because of it. Don't need her getting sick. I don't know. It depends on how much they eat. It's terrible for your dog to eat. Other dogs poop like strangers. Dogs poo. It's just like us. You can lick your wife's butt. But you start licking too many butts, you're gonna get a stomachache. Like, right now. If Toledo was, like, with Lisa, like, on the back end and my ass. And he's gonna be fine because all of the germs and stuff have been transferred back and forth already. But if he starts being, you know, flipped up a tolerance. If he goes to a park and just starts, you know, anal Angus and somebody, he's gonna probably. He's gonna end up sick.

[Brady]

It's busy on someone in the zone.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No different with your dogs. They're. They're used to each other's butts, and it's what comes out of them. They're eating the same foods and stuff. It's a foreign element of another dog. It's like a candida. Like, a lot of times the ladies with a new partner will end up with some sort of a thing inside them because the bacteria doesn't mix yet. Your body's. It's a foreign substance to have your wiener banging around inside of them. And then their bodies go, hey, what was that I'm not sure I like that. And then they have a couple days of like block down there and then it goes away and they get used to you.

[Brett Vesely]

Matt said he thought his cat was sick because for three weeks there was.

[John Holmberg]

No poop litter box. Still, the greatest practical joke I've ever heard in my life was George Clooney and his roommate. Oh yeah. When he kept cleaning the poop and his roommate got nervous. My cat hasn't pooped in three days. He didn't realize that Clooney was the one cleaning the cat box. So Clooney didn't tell him. And then a week later took, he took it himself in the cat box. A man sized poop was in there. Like, I think your cat's okay now. But yeah, it's just, it's such a. What a racket. And we fall for it. And I don't consider myself too stupid, but man, is that stupid. Buying grill marked dog food, I mean, what's wrong with me? And then on the COVID it's like the pictures of the things like on the, on the bag of food. The pictures of the stuff that's like, it's got like little steak cuts like a, it's got steak and it's a tri tip and it's like, it's a New York steak. It's the butcher cut, but it's the picture of the T bone. And I'm like, that's only for me.

[Dick Toledo]

Fancy feet served in the champagne glass. Yeah, it's got a little peas and corn in it and stuff. And you're like, oh, that must taste way better.

[John Holmberg]

Great for the. That's good morning sickness.

[Frank Caliendo]

All right, HMS podcast time again. I'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Well, just in case you haven't been paying attention or if you've been mia, we'll let you know that Frank Caliendo is going to be performing at the Desert Ridge Improv this Friday, Saturday night. So tune in. Frank's gonna be in with the guys all week long. And just maybe we'll have tickets for you to go catch Frank live up north at Desert Ridge for the complete lineups and for Tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com we're here with Byron from MMP Guns.

[Brett Vesely]

Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Byron]

The choice is simple, Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training in fact, right all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have ammo ink 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Byron]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at mmpguns.com hey, what's up?

[Mo]

It's Mo and my friends at the University of Advancing Technology has been ranked the number one best college for computer science for not one but two years in a row. Which makes total sense because UAT are always on the lookout for those who don't just embrace, they live it. From advancing computer science and robotics to cybersecurity, gaming and artificial intelligence, UAT is where innovation thrives. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution, visit uat edu mo and don't just study tech, live it.

[Dick Toledo]

It's Dick Toledo and this best of content is brought to you by our [e-mail] if you've got AC issues, you need newacunit.com where you can save thousands of save time by buying [e-mail].

[John Holmberg]

This one Donovan says that's on you. Spending all that money on dog food for an animal that will eat its own poop. You're a bad Jew. That has nothing to do with being a Jew caring. And then there is the other hand is the the epidemic of dogs being less healthy now with the cancer is rampaging and it has to be processed cruddy foods that you buy so it makes sense to go natural. I know a lady who cooked a burger every morning for her dog every day that was the dog's food. It's like a lean burger and then some chicken sometimes. And it was like that dog lived to be like 19. And I don't know if it had something to do with the diet or not, but it always ate lean delicious meat. But our meat's fish full of stuff. So who knows what the hell's going in there. But I just know that they love dead old people cats. If you had dead old person chow in a cat bag. Oh and just a picture of a dead, a dead old man and then like his ribs like oh this part like just pictures of what's in there.

[Dick Toledo]

Segmented out like the beef that Brady used to have in the restaurant.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. This is the brisket. This is a dead old man laying on his back. And it's got. Yeah, it's got each. Each area. Like, this is the. The rump roast. This is dead old man chest. Cats would just be like. You'd see them with little napkins in their collars and forks and knife. It's a legitimate idea and it's a. But. But the commercials would turn people off, even though we all know deep down I could. The commercial would be, you know, hey, hey, it's John Holmberg here for cat chow. Look, you're spending too much money on. I've got free. Tons of it from the shelter. I've got loads of cat crap. I've mixed it up with some whey. I don't know, protein. Some whey. And we put it in there. And watch this. Watch the dog what he chooses. Put a bowl of thousand dollar dog food down next to a bowl of cat crap. Guess which one your dog's running to.

[Dick Toledo]

Maybe we can get Tom Selleck in some new ads.

[Brady]

Colonial.

[Dick Toledo]

Doing a reverse mortgage also. Put yourself into the cat food business.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Colonial pens. Dog food.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's brilliant. It is truly brilliant. It's gross, but it's brilliant. They eat all sorts of disgusting. Like, yeah, dead. I found dead stuff. Chow. Like, I found a dead thing. Chow. Dead bird in the backyard. Chow.

[Brady]

With real feathers.

[John Holmberg]

If I put a dead bird in the backyard, I have to worry the dogs will fight over it. Never worry about them fighting over dinner, ever. But if the dog. If there's a bird back there, it's gonna look at each other like, we might be in the scrap here. Because that's the most delicious thing in the house.

[Dick Toledo]

I just think about, what was it? Your uncle laying dead on the table. And like, there's a guy that shows up in a van with a set of knives.

[Brady]

The harvest.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you can put it on your driver's license. You want to donate to science or.

[Dick Toledo]

What do you do with the rest of it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I want to be able to.

[Brett Vesely]

Benihana shows up with his knives.

[John Holmberg]

All right, let's get right to it.

[Dick Toledo]

You can sue them all up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Uncle Doug's dead.

[Brady]

At least do the onion volcano, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

It's not a show for you, for the dogs, for Chrono. See, you're falling for it again. But that would be in the commercial as he's chopping the dead uncle. You're gonna love this, Fido. But that's it. You throw some Eggs in there make it at least pleasant looking. But it's just cat. That's what they want. They don't want any of the crap we're doing. Grill marks, dumbass. Watching bus. Just crush that puke. And I mean crush. Yeah. Dead animals in the back. That snake Gordon caught and tried to. He was gonna eat that. Oh, yeah, that was gonna be his. Like it was a four foot beautiful. I called him Sammy. He picked that thing up and smashed it around like, hey, hey, hey, hey. And Sammy was dead and gone immediately. Like Gordon did a number on him. And then Gordon looked at me like, I'm gonna eat the snake now. I'm like, you're the 14 pounds of wimp. You're gonna eat a snake. You killed it. I'm gonna eat it now. I don't want what you give me. And that just means they're hungry for other things. Anything they find.

[Brady]

They go under a tree that has birds that roost in at night. And all the poop is on the ground, though Coco will lick the side.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, the bird poop, I think that's. Yeah, it's probably.

[Brady]

It's not even.

[Dick Toledo]

That's.

[Brady]

I know it's not the doves, pigeons. No, it's those starlings and.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, those things.

[Brett Vesely]

You see what it does with pain on cars?

[Dick Toledo]

I mean, Greyhound park out in the.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, the one off the i10 that they couldn't go into because the pigeon poop. Pigeon poop is toxic. How they end up taking it down? They just pushed it. Goose poop. Goose poop is definitely a delicacy for dogs. My dogs once fought my dog Katie and Chili, long past rest of their souls. I had a turtle, a little turtle I found on the side of the road. And I'd let him walk around. And the dogs loved the turtle. Like, this is the neatest thing ever. They weren't obsessed with it, but they watched it. And the turtle would just walk and then stop for a second and fire out this gelatinous brown. And it would just come out of him and then he just start walking away again. Well, Katie and Chili at the same time. And chili was about 15 pounds. Katie was about 70 at the same time. Went nose to nose on the poop. And I watched them look at each other like, it's on, bitch. And then Chili went. Chili went back down to eat it. Katie picked her up by the neck and just shook her head, was gonna kill her. They never had a beef in their lives, but turtle was too delicious not to fight over or try to kill your best friend over. And here I am. What is the Farmer's Choice? A thousand dollars for that. And it says this. And it comes to your house. It's got your dog's name on it for each specific diet. They have loads of that stuff in the Healthy Choice in little packages with each dog's name on it. Because this dog has gastrointestinal issues. This dog has valley fever. It doesn't matter. That dog wants turtle and will kill his best friend to have some. It's disturbing, but if you. If you. You know, the economy is going to crash today. We're all going to lose our money.

[Brett Vesely]

You better start feeding a cat poop.

[John Holmberg]

It's down 900 points right now. I'm not screwing around. I already looked at crypto. Don't. Don't. Crypto isn't a thing. Don't look at that and compare it to like, I'm waiting for it to come back. It's not. And it's never. Well, it will someday. But it has nothing to do with the economy. Me. It's just. That's gambling. Nasdaq's down 500 points. Market's down 900. You're gonna lose all your money today. Just start collecting cat.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, no more Farmers Fresh.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no more Farmers fresh. That's. That's the stuff. Farmers fresh. And I'm not gonna stop getting it because I'm still mentally convinced that I'm putting good. Putting good product in my dog's bowl. Meanwhile, the finest. They don't care. Dead stuff. I've had rabbits. I've had, like, desert rats, pigeons. Like, you just see them. And I know pigeons heads don't just fall off, but I found whole bodies before with no head. And I'm like, these little sadistic. Not only find it, they decapitate it and chow down on brain. And I never find the head. And then occasionally cleaning up poop, you'll see remnants of some sort of animal.

[Brett Vesely]

It's a delicacy.

[John Holmberg]

It is. And yeah, it's like. Yeah, it's like Foqua.

[Dick Toledo]

So we've had a. We came back from Thailand and we had that mama cat that had three kittens in our backyard. Mama cat's still back there. And every ever, about every other day, she'll bring a bird around. She's just murdered.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they just. You can feed them all you want. They're still hungry for something else, actually. Appreciate.

[Dick Toledo]

Because there's a lot less bird poop in my backyard now. Because she's taking care of him.

[John Holmberg]

Your Dog's out. Your dog at home is a lot like Brady. You can have him over and give him a meal, but on the way home, he's gonna grab something, he's gonna pick something up and then add one more thing.

[Dick Toledo]

Second lunch.

[John Holmberg]

That was good, but I don't look like a pig. One frosty, please. You know what I like? What's the thing? When I've been waiting for you to throw it out there, they keep saying like sauce rageous or something like that. And I'm like, oh, that's gonna be Brady. Brady's gonna have T shirts with that on it. Yeah, Wendy's has new catchphrase. I'm like, if Brady doesn't have a closet full of shirts that say that, I will lose all the bets. But yeah, so just think about that next time you're buying all that stuff. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. It's John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the core. He's not gonna be court immediately, but in a few months time he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain you've been living with. The core Institute's celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do again. Go to the Core Institute dot com.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett.

[Byron]

I sure do. It's M and P Guns. Customs M and P Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polish, polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Byron]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or. We already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no wait.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscustoms.com. hey, it's Brett Vesely. Look, your AC has been working hard for you all summer long, so give it some love with Patrick Riley. Heating, cooling, plumb and drains. Right now you can get a 59H VAC system check, which includes a full equipment inspection, refrigerant level check and free electronic leak detection. And that's a 99 value. Need a new system.

[John Holmberg]

No problem.

[Brett Vesely]

Score 1500 dollars off right now. Hot and stuck. Well, they offer emergency same day service. And before you commit, get a free second opinion with no pressure. Go to Patrick Riley services dot com. That's Patrick Riley services dot com. Patrick Riley. One call does it all.