Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98KUPD)

Episode: 08-27-25 – Brady Report – MIX – 8x – There’s A New 6 sec Kissing Hack Going Around
Date: August 27, 2025
Panel: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

Overview

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness features the ever-popular Brady Report, mixing offbeat news stories, comedic commentary, and listener interaction. The team’s tone is conversational, irreverent, and often edgy, targeting a morning audience that thrives on humor, local Arizona color, and the absurdities of daily life. The episode covers viral relationship advice, bizarre crime stories, food-related antics, the economics of modern life, and unique promotional stunts—always with the crew’s signature banter.

Key Discussion Points

1. Viral 6-Second Kissing Hack for Relationships

[02:46 – 04:20]

• Topic Intro (Brady): “Have you seen the six second kissing hack that's supposed to be good for your relationship?” [02:46]
• The Gottman Institute research says kissing for a full 6 seconds daily increases oxytocin and builds connection, even reducing cortisol.
• Discussion morphs into the potential awkwardness, with jokes about applicability to relatives (“Wouldn’t that apply with your grandmother?”) and the difference between hugging and kissing’s effects.
• Memorable Quote:
  • Brady: “It helps us bond with babies, pets, and each other.” [03:16]
  • Brett: “He’s trying to be gay about it... Now I have no. It has to be a full six seconds.” [03:11-03:30]
• The group riffs on forced affection (“That’s a rape hug.”), bemoaning cheesy relationship tips and finding innuendo everywhere.

2. “What Color Was That Crime?” Game & Notorious Chicken Wing Heist

[06:17 – 08:55]

• Story: A Chicago area school food service director convicted for stealing $1.5 million in chicken wings during COVID meal programs.
• The team plays their recurring, non-PC game “What Color Was That Crime?”—guesses abound about the perpetrator based on names and location.
• Memorable Quote:
  • Brett: “That is a good point. Not with a million dollars in chicken wings. No way.” [07:20]
  • Brady: “Bootlegging the wings to maybe restaurants.” [07:46]
• Segment highlights playful, provocative speculation on crime and identity.

3. More Food Crimes: Ravioli Assault and “Revenge Pizzeria” Scandal

[09:06 – 15:13]

• Ravioli Story: Woman arrested in Florida for attacking her sister with a plate of ravioli after a food dispute. Re-ignites the “What Color Was That Crime?” debate (concludes as white trash).
• Pizzeria Impersonator:
  • Man in Florida impersonates a rival pizzeria, distributes fake flyers, then delivers subpar homemade or frozen pizzas to ruin their reputation.
  • The panel marvels at his dedication (“That is brilliant… That’s hustling…”), riffing on all the ways he could sabotage the food, and invents “Brett’s Revenge Pizza” with insult-filled deliveries.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • Brett: “You know he’s doing terrible things to those pizzas too… hair, pubes.” [13:00]
  • Brady: “I want to start a revenge pizza place.” [18:13]

4. News Oddities: Texas News Anchor Domestic Assault

[20:16 – 22:43]

• Story: Anchor Heather Kovar arrested for punching her boyfriend twelve times and breaking his nose after a drunken argument at a Tex-Mex restaurant.
• The panel turns it into a mock UFC event, questioning the boyfriend’s lack of defense, referencing boxing etiquette, and Mills Lane’s famous pre-fight instructions.
• Memorable Quote:
  • Brett: “A woman hits me once, you know, that's usually because I wasn’t in my defensive stance. You start that second haymaker, I got…I’m in the guard.” [22:05]

5. Modern Economics: “What’s Too Expensive” Survey & Fast Food Pricing

[23:13 – 24:43]

• Survey Findings: Gas named most overpriced necessity, followed by fast food, meat, and smartphones. Yet, despite high cost, many see these as “still worth it.”
• Bret shares his shocked reaction to a McDonald’s meal’s price: “$11.70…That isn’t terrible. It’s not great. That’s not bad.” [24:19]
• Panel debates what fast food offers better deals, with nostalgia for McDonald's $5 meal deal, and personal sandwich preferences.
• On deals: Post-purchase “glow” lasts over 3 hours for most consumers—a 36% discount considered a “good deal.”

6. Ridiculous Promotion: Doritos “Zero Gravity” Chips for Space

[27:33 – 29:34]

• Story: Doritos creates “mini Cool Ranch zero gravity chips” for an upcoming space mission; limited edition chips require a $200 St. Jude’s donation for a chance to win a bag.
• The cast mocks the concept, from anti-gravity cheese dust to the cash grab for “space Doritos.”
• Memorable Quote:
  • Brett: “You’re bad with your money if you spend anything on this. These are some chips that go against…” [29:23]
  • Brady: “My space Doritos make me Liza feather stuff as a board. It’s not weird.” [29:34]

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• Brady: “Happy National Glizzy Day.” [02:42]
• Brett: “The love drug.” [04:23]
• Brett: “Everybody poops £100 a year.” [05:23]
• Brett (on pizza scam): “He’s doing terrible things to those pizzas too… covered in hair and semen.” [13:00]
• Brady: “God’s revenge pizza. We don’t have long. We’ll deliver it. Hopefully before we die, your pizza will get there.” [18:23]
• Brett: “I get really high… Makes you feel good. I would like that feeling. I don’t think I possess that.” (about the post-purchase buzz) [26:17]
• Brett: “You’re bad with your money if you spend anything on this. These are some chips that go against…” [29:23]

Segment Timestamps

| Segment | Start | End | |-----------------------------------------------|---------|---------| | Kissing Hack & Relationship Science | 02:42 | 04:20 | | Poop Statistics & Chicken Wing Heist | 05:00 | 08:55 | | Ravioli Assault & “What Color Was That Crime” | 09:06 | 11:03 | | Pizzeria Impersonator / Revenge Pizza | 11:11 | 20:05 | | News Anchor Domestic Battery | 20:16 | 22:43 | | “Too Expensive” Survey & Fast Food Pricing | 23:13 | 24:43 | | Post-purchase “Buzz,” Deals, and Doritos PR | 25:29 | 29:34 |

Episode Tone and Style

• Edgy and irreverent—Hosts freely riff and improvise, with running jokes, mock outrage, and off-color asides.
• Grounded in current events and pop culture, often circling back to food, crime, and bizarre social studies.
• Aimed squarely at listeners who enjoy local flavor, taboo-busting humor, and the weird side of morning radio.

For New Listeners

If you missed the episode, you’ll walk away with:

• A laugh-out-loud look at odd news and everyday absurdities, anchored by a cast that never takes themselves—or the stories—too seriously.
• Recurring games and in-jokes (e.g., “What Color Was That Crime?”) that make the Brady Report a highlight for regular listeners.
• Takeaway: Even the most mundane news stories can inspire wild speculation and hilarious tangents when Holmberg’s crew is behind the mics.