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Brett Vesley
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
Larry McFeely
This is Larry McFeely and we all know August in Arizona is brutal. We're talking triple digit temps that'll melt your flip flops. But Toyota trucks? Don't sweat it. The tacoma tundra and 4Runner are built to handle that kind of heat. I've taken Tundras across the valley and up into the mountains. No issues, no drama, just pure performance in the blazing sun. Right now is the national sales event at your Valley Toyota dealers, so it's the best time to gear up. Whether you're escaping the hot weather or working in it. These trucks are made for the Arizona heat. Visit your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com toyota let's go places.
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Comedy Announcer
All right, HMS Podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Well, just in case you haven't been paying attention or if you've been mia, we'll let you know that Frank Caliendo is going to be performing at the Desert Ridge Improv this Friday and Saturday night. So tune in. Frank's going to be in with the guys all week long and just maybe we'll have tickets for you to go catch Frank live up north at Desert Ridge for the complete lineups and for tickets go to standuplive.com Desert Ridge Ridge, improv.com and Tempe improv.com grab some protection.
John Holberg
Here comes the best of Homburg's morning sickness. I'm 98k upd. I will say I told you weren't there yesterday. We went and had. Well, we are the election team of County Super Nintendo for Schools. Shelly Boggs. We put her over the top. She's convinced of it actually. And because we supported Shelly Boggs in her Primary Super Nintendo Bo decided to say, will you go to dinner with me and say, and so I can say thank you. So we did. And Broomhead's a big supporter too. So Broomhead was in on it from ktar. So Broomhead's there. Super Nintendo box. Soon to be Super Nintendo. Boggs, me, Brady and Toledo enjoying ourselves, having a nice thing. Well, prior to me going there, I stopped over at the. I think it's a cvs. I think CVS is the one that I got. I confuse CVS and Walgreens. But it's the drugstore in 16th Street, Camelback. It is the most hit or miss drugstore in a decent area butted up against a cruddy area you've ever been to in your life. And I've been there. Years ago, Megan got food poisoning in the middle of the night, laying in the bathroom with her shirt off, throwing up like crazy. Must have lost 12 pounds. And I've never seen her body look better, by the way. It's like it. She was ready for a flex off. Like her stomach muscles were shredded or throwing up all that stuff for at least the time being before she rehydrated was absolutely spectacular. Cans up in the air, they were just. But her face looked a little auschwitzy. She'd lost too much and her teeth were all puke stunk. But she's crying in the bathroom, goes in gain her, rained. I'm like, well, her last words are Gatorade. That's. Oh, you want me to go get that? I see. Okay. So two in the morning, I go over to the CVS and outside of it there's like just people like hanging out. Just like five, there's. And there's. They're not doing anything and I'm like sketchy. So I pull up my lights hit and immediately they're like seagulls. Give me a gun. Like, I got nothing for you, seagulls. And I go into the CVS to grab the Gatorade and there's just a dude laying down in there. The employee is like calling the cops. He's like, I got surrounded by these awful seagull people get the Gatorade and I leave them. Like that is one sketchy. Nothing good happens on 16th street in Camelback at 2 or 3 in the morning. So yesterday. So, you know, more daytime, it's okay. So I pulled in there yesterday because I had an issue yesterday. I have to apologize to Josh Blue. Josh. And then this might be bigoted towards people with handicaps. I just assumed Josh Blue can't put on deodorant. So we did our talk with Josh yesterday. He's one of the. One of my favorites. He's a great comedian. And he came in and so at the end, usually the guys from the club said, can we get a picture for social media? So we stand in front of the KUP wall and do a picture. I put my arm around him like, jesus Christ. Josh blue smells horrible. What a hippie. Like, a bag of corn, nuts, and mayonnaise in the sun just stunk. And I'm sitting there like, get me out of this picture. I don't know why Josh. But then I looked and I got the palsy. Maybe his hand doesn't reach over and do deodorant. So he's all. And he's from Denver, so it's this all natural thing. So I'm like, he stinks.
Brady
Rolls of stone under his armpit.
John Holberg
Yeah. So I smelled my left armpit, and I'm like, no, I'm good. It's not me. I don't have it. But I smelled my right, and I'm like, josh, blue stink got on me, and I. I smell horrible now. From this side over, he kept asking.
Brady
Me, and I was checking.
John Holberg
Yeah. Like, yeah. I'm like, did he get on you?
Brady
I was smelling.
John Holberg
Yeah. So then I realized that I. I only did my right arm. I only did one armpit. Then I gave a whiff to my armpit, and it was brutal. I'm like, that was me. Like, Josh. So I text Josh. I'm like, hey, not for nothing, but I thought you stunk earlier today, but it was me. So if you smelled something, I apologize. I only did my deodorant. One arm. I don't know why. And it's. And I didn't have enough. I was down to where the plastic scraping against your skin. So I think I did the one and just threw it out. I thought I did both. I didn't. And I stunk. So on my way to go meet Super Nintendo Boggs and you guys, I stopped off at the same creepy cvs, and again, there's a dude standing outside. And he eyeballs me up and down. And I kind of looked at him. I gave him a look like, don't like. I mean. And then I'm like, look away. You're causing enough trouble. Well, I go, anyway. He follows me right in. So I'm going through the. I got a couple things I wanted to grab, and I had to get deodorant as well. Well, so did he, evidently. So he's in the aisle. This is why they're locking up antiperspirant. Deodorant. He's putting it on and he put it back. Oh, that's sampling. Yeah, he's taken Walmart samples of the Dove extra dry. He popped a little protective, which is easy to get off. Pop that right off of there. Applied a little deodorant, put it right back on, twisted it back down, popped the cap. And I'm. I'm watching as I walk towards him, I'm like, is that dude going to do what I think he's going to do? And he had under the shirt, looking around like, am I? And nobody said a thing. And I didn't rat him out. And I wanted to really bad, but somebody's gonna buy that.
Brett Vesley
And sometimes you go to the store and you see somebody like opening the deodorants up and smelling it, see if it's their fragrance. And can you imagine that after that dude just put it on?
John Holberg
Oh, because I can't imagine the antiperspirant won that fight. Like, more of him got on that. Yeah.
Brady
Homeless. A little center homeless.
John Holberg
Yeah, more of the homeless got on the antiperspirant than got the antiperspirant got on him. Like, expecting saddlewood. He rubbed his smell on the. On the bar. Not the other way around. Because I put it on. I smell like a sandal. I smell like flowers. Oh, it's dirty old. Smells like an old floho sandal. Yeah. Floating in the river. But I put it on. Not the same one, but I put deodorant on. I smell like. I smell good today. Like, this is a strong stink. I can only imagine that. That thing smells like corn, nuts and sun mayonnaise.
Brady
Now you gotta look at that cabin.
John Holberg
Like, I gotta wonder how many. And so that's the first time I thought to myself, at least he went dove. They need to. They need to lock up the deodorant. And I never thought that. I always thought. But he was. At least he's trying to clean up. But still they lock it up. They got it.
Brady
Everything will be locked up.
John Holberg
I'm good. Yeah, maybe just. You know what? That's what. But ordering now, because I do a lot of groceries online and stuff, the person buying I can be like, if I get deodorant or something, are they putting it on? Like, I don't trust anybody to touch the odor. And it's too easy to break into. Like, they gotta. They gotta shrink wrap the deodorant, plastic wrap, all they do. And then deodorant's gonna be $14 a. Ah. And the bigger problem with having to do something about the homeless isn't finding a place for them. It's keeping them away from us. That's the bigger things. Like we got. How are they getting in and using our stuff? I get it. It's a tragedy we're giving you water. I mean, is that enough once the water drives over?
Brett Vesley
Maybe we should do a deodorant drive.
John Holberg
Well, I think they got that covered. I don't think that they're not stealing water, but they're just, you know, using things. Like, you're gonna go in there and the bag, M&M's gonna be open. There's gonna be a couple missing. You just had a snack.
Larry McFeely
It's Larry McFeely. Just had my annual Mission Beach San Diego vacation. Full of sand, sun, and yes, Toyota trucks. Mission beach lifeguards don't mess around. They roll with Toyota Tacomas, Tundras and four runners as their official lifeguard vehicles.
John Holberg
Why?
Larry McFeely
Because they capability, dependability, and the power to protect the coast. And right now, it's the national sales event at your valley Toyota dealers, which means it's the perfect time to grab a Toyota truck built for adventure. Whether you're hitting the beach or the Arizona back roads, visit your valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadeealers.com toyota let's go places.
Brett Vesley
Hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.
Byron
Brett. I sure do. It's M and P Guns customs. MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our mast trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.
Brett Vesley
Well, can you do this to my gun?
Byron
We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no wait.
Brett Vesley
Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at MMP GunsCustoms.com It's John Holberg here.
John Holberg
From the morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new real estate her all the time. I do know this though. They Wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house, cash. As is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online@doughopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1, 800, now Holmberg's Morning Sickness.
Brady
Definitely an item for those, you know, food banks and stuff that are collecting like toiletries.
John Holberg
Oh, sure. It's a need.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holberg
Oh, yeah. But evidently not anymore. You got nowhere to keep it now.
Brady
You got your sources.
John Holberg
You just wander into one of the. And they're outside of drugstores a lot. There's a lot going on in a drugstore. But how many times you have to wonder, have you purchased a brand new Old Spice and you weren't the first one to use it?
Brady
That's why I go to Costco and buy a pallet.
John Holberg
That's because it's all in that stuff. Shrink wrap. Yeah, you gotta. You gotta start thinking like that. Oh, I had some deodorant in my office for a while, and then Amy told me she was using it here and there. I'm like, you what? She goes, yeah, I use that every once in a while, too. I hope you don't mind. I'm like, of course I mind. That's disgusting. That's. But then I started thinking, ah, it's a girl. It's different if it was a dude.
Brady
Like this Old Spice with Marlboros.
John Holberg
Yeah. It smells like cigarettes and girl acids. Like that weird girl sweat. That straight. Yeah, it's got a. You're leaking some. Some latte and some Marlboro. How come my deodorant smells like an ashtray? But it's. Yeah, it was. So I didn't mind it. And she can use it. At first I was taken aback, but I'm like, ah, it's a girl. I. I don't. For some reason that doesn't bother me because there's no hair. This dude, he had dreadlocks in his armpit. I'm sure. But he hasn't washed the. You gotta wash them every once or you can't just. You can't. You can't just apply. Apply deodorant to your dirty body. But he did.
Brady
Rolling over, 30 or 40 skin tags.
John Holberg
Yeah, but. Oh, you. Yeah. Oh, and lesions.
Brett Vesley
All right, a little much.
John Holberg
And lesions. He's not wrong. It's. A couple of them had fallen off, so there was probably 30 or 44. And there's two or three. One stuck before. Imagine if you pop that up, because a lot of times I'd pull that last plastic piece off with my teeth. And then a little skin tag pops in your mouth. And now you're chewing his gum. Oh, God.
Brett Vesley
You thought my videos were bad.
John Holberg
This is terrible.
Brett Vesley
I draw the line.
John Holberg
But I thought of you, Brett, because I'm like, I'm gonna rat this. I'm ratting him out. And I did it would have. You ratted him out? No. You wouldn't have told. I see. I. I'm.
Brett Vesley
It's none of my business.
John Holberg
Kind of, though.
Brett Vesley
It's none of your business. You knew which would grab a different one.
John Holberg
I did grab a different one. There you go. Well, he didn't. He wasn't into my stuff. And by the way, he used the deodorant. Not an antiperspirant. Idiot. You're standing all day. At least try not to sweat. But yeah, I went down, too, to the.
Brett Vesley
I say which one it was so you can warn people it was an Old Spice Fiji.
Brady
You should have done the right thing and buy that.
John Holberg
Oh, and thrown it. Some bleeding heart would have thought that. And it didn't even to be honest with you, it didn't cross my mind.
Brady
Share it with all his friends.
John Holberg
Just rubbing a lesion pit juice all over each other. Anyway, yeah, it was the Old Spice Fiji. And it was the first. It was. There was only two left, and it was the, you know, mix and match now.
Brett Vesley
So switch brands, basically.
John Holberg
So basically, buy the dove. Don't even bother with. Let those Old Spice things rot. And in, like, 30 years, people be like, look, it's the old Old Spice logo. Still. They're. Still haven't sold them yet. Yeah, don't touch those. But I can't imagine, like, oh, sharing a stick with a homeless. I can't imagine. Todd Linkus in junior high used to always ask me for deodorant when we were pe. You go to Yoda. I'm like, yeah, but is that okay to chew? And he'd just grab it on my hands because he was huge. And he'd start using my. My band roll on.
Brett Vesley
Everybody did that in school. But that's. That's when you. That's when you buy the. The aerosol.
John Holberg
The spray ones were great, but they.
Brady
Do it, you know, clumps, like, around the village.
John Holberg
Yeah, they have the community spray can. There's the thing. Homeless. Brett's right. They have a spray version of this. Steal that.
Brett Vesley
Use the right car that nobody's used since the 80s.
John Holberg
Nobody sprays that into the air because Greta Thunberg told us not to. For some reason. That was something we listened to. Those are bad Ax homeless. They did have Axe body spray, too. And I thought, well, what are we doing here? Why you? He was probably doing. It pissed me off.
Brett Vesley
He wasn't going on the west side. He didn't need the Axe.
John Holberg
And he just walked through the parking lot over towards Total Wine and swamped up. But he felt pretty full of wine. They've had doing over there.
Brett Vesley
They don't sell Thunderbirds.
Brady
No, but they've had a cabinets over there as well.
John Holberg
If he smells better, maybe his begging goes better. I don't know.
Brett Vesley
God damn it, John. I'm driving a dry heaving right now.
John Holberg
I had to see it. Brady's fault. He brought up the skin tags that are probably real. I mean, I'm thinking of the times that he's all scarred up and, like the open, open seeping wounds that are in that armpit of his.
Brett Vesley
Injecting himself.
John Holberg
Yeah, he's probably injecting through the pits. Yeah, he's got pit herpes going on. Scabs. Well, anyway, so if you're at that one, just fair warning, I didn't rat him out at the store. I should have. I still regret that I didn't. So I'll rat him out here. That if you're at that particular cvs, if you work at that cvs, go pull out the Old Spice Fijis and toss. Toss the front two, or there were only two when I looked. And I recognize it because Old Spice Fiji is the stuff I used to use, but it smells a little too.
Brady
You can tell the one that's been popped off.
John Holberg
I don't think you can, because you know what I do.
Brady
You have to break the seal.
John Holberg
No, no, no. You just put that little plastic thing with the tab and roll it back in. It sucks right back down. I could do it right now because I brought extra deodorant into the office again, because I like having it here. Pop that cap off. You can put that thing right back on, roll it back down to nothing. You would never know because you're not suspecting someone's already used this when you buy it at home.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holberg
There's no seal.
Brady
Bought a couple of those.
John Holberg
Yeah, there's. Yeah. You've probably rubbed up against the home leg. Yeah. God knows. And here's the other thing that I'll never do, because I watched this happen once, and I was kind of in on this. I used to go to Bash's and they had that big bucket of that box of peanuts and. Yeah, vegetable. I don't know if they still do that. Probably don't. But I remember I was eating the.
Brady
Stuff you buy by a pound or whatever.
John Holberg
Yeah, you scoop them out and get it in the bag. But they just have peanuts. Big bulk, giant box. And when I was bored, I'd stand there and I'd eat a few of them. Just throw the shells back. But I'm not cracking them with my mouth.
Brett Vesley
You're not sucking all the salt off.
John Holberg
Dude next to me was. Dude next to me grabbed a couple.
Brady
It was a regular gathering.
John Holberg
And he popped it and he threw it back in. And I'm like, it's cud going back in there with the other peanuts.
Brett Vesley
You see that it sprouts sometimes with the big things of candy, the big barrels. And you just see the kids with their gross hands.
John Holberg
Since the 60s that's been something.
Brady
That's been a trail mix.
John Holberg
People used to hit their kids and make them wash and stuff. And now that's just not even those Brock's candies that reach in the gummy bears for Christ's sake. What are you thinking giving those away? I think we're gonna pay for that.
Larry McFeely
You're insane.
John Holberg
Anyway, so be careful as you put your deodorant on this morning. Just realize that it could have been gooed already. Pre gooed and you have something. Probably how covet started. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.
Brett Vesley
We're here with Byron from M and P Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to M and P Guns?
Byron
The choice is simple, Brett. M and P Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact, right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have Ammo Inc. 9 millimeter hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.
Brett Vesley
Well, it sounds like MMP Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.
Byron
That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School online@mmpguns.com Men, you take care.
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John Holberg
It's John Holberg and Brett Vesley from the morning Sickness coming at you. For our pals at Action Ride Shop.
Brett Vesley
It'S summertime, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the outdoors here in Arizona. You just have to be smart about it.
John Holberg
That's a fact, Burt. Action Ride Shop is step one in the smart department. They've got awesome deals on all their E bikes right now.
Brett Vesley
They also have specials on their mountain bikes and neighborhood commuters.
John Holberg
And just because it's hot out doesn't mean you can't grab a light and ride the glorious Arizona trails with an awesome setup from outbound lighting and night.
Brett Vesley
R. Get to Action Ride Shop on the 60 and Gilbert or their new location on McDowell and power actionrideshop.com.
Podcast: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona
Date: August 27, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Episode Focus: John’s run-in with a homeless man “sampling” deodorant at CVS, leading to a larger, hilarious (and mildly disturbing) debate on hygiene, public spaces, and the perils of modern shopping.
This episode revolves around John Holmberg’s need to buy deodorant, which escalates into a bizarre and comedic reflection on personal hygiene, homelessness, and the unexpected hazards lurking in everyday drugstores. The centerpiece is John witnessing a homeless man applying deodorant from the shelf and putting it back—leading the crew to riff on “BO roulette,” the realities of street life, and the questionable safety of every shrink-wrapped purchase.
“They’re like seagulls. Gimme a gun. I got nothing for you, seagulls.” (04:06)
"I put my arm around him like, ‘Jesus Christ. Josh Blue smells horrible…’ But then I looked and I got palsy. Maybe his hand doesn’t reach over and do deodorant." (04:27)
“I only did my right arm. I only did one armpit...I stunk.” (05:07)
He texts Josh to apologize.
“He’s taken Walmart samples of the Dove Extra Dry…applied a little deodorant, put it right back on.” (06:12)
“How many times…have you purchased a brand new Old Spice and you weren’t the first one to use it?” (10:43)
“She goes, ‘Yeah, I use that every once in a while, too. I hope you don’t mind.’ Of course I mind! That’s disgusting!” (11:06)
“The bigger problem…isn’t finding a place for [the homeless]. It’s keeping them away from us. That’s the bigger things… How are they getting in and using our stuff?” (08:24)
“If you pop that up, 'cause a lot of times I pull that last plastic piece off with my teeth. And then a little skin tag pops in your mouth. And now you’re chewing his gum. Oh God.” (12:12)
“It’s cud going back in there with the other peanuts.” (16:59)
The crew bemoans the advent of communal candy barrels and germy kids:
“What are you thinking giving those away? I think we’re gonna pay for that.” (17:20)
| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|------------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 04:06 | John | "They're like seagulls. Gimme a gun. I got nothing for you, seagulls." | | 04:27 | John | "Jesus Christ, Josh Blue smells horrible… What a hippie. Like a bag of corn nuts and mayonnaise in the sun." | | 05:07 | John | "I only did my right arm. I only did one armpit...I stunk." | | 06:12 | John | "He’s taken Walmart samples of the Dove Extra Dry…applied a little deodorant, put it right back on." | | 06:53 | Brett | "Can you imagine that after that dude just put it on?" | | 07:01 | John | "He rubbed his smell on the bar. Not the other way around." | | 10:43 | John | "How many times…have you purchased a brand new Old Spice and you weren’t the first one to use it?" | | 11:06 | John | "She goes, 'Yeah, I use that every once in a while, too...' Of course I mind! That's disgusting!" | | 12:12 | John | "If you pop that up...and then a little skin tag pops in your mouth. Now you're chewing his gum. Oh God." | | 17:20 | John | "What are you thinking giving those [bulk candy] away? I think we’re gonna pay for that." |
In classic “Morning Sickness” fashion, the tone is irreverent, relatable, and graphically funny—mixing real world concerns (public cleanliness, homelessness) with gross-out anecdotes and rapid-fire banter. The hosts have fun stretching minor observations (needing deodorant) into wider, hilariously hyperbolic cultural commentary. For those who haven’t listened, expect a blend of true-to-life horror stories and no-holds-barred humor about the everyday grossness lurking just out of sight.