08-27-25 - Needing Deodorant John Stopped At CVS Only To See A Homeless Guy Put On Some And Put It Back On Shelf BO

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness (08-27-25): Deodorant, Homeless Encounters & “Pre-Gooed” Hygiene Woes

Podcast: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona
Date: August 27, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Episode Focus: John’s run-in with a homeless man “sampling” deodorant at CVS, leading to a larger, hilarious (and mildly disturbing) debate on hygiene, public spaces, and the perils of modern shopping.

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Main Episode Theme

This episode revolves around John Holmberg’s need to buy deodorant, which escalates into a bizarre and comedic reflection on personal hygiene, homelessness, and the unexpected hazards lurking in everyday drugstores. The centerpiece is John witnessing a homeless man applying deodorant from the shelf and putting it back—leading the crew to riff on “BO roulette,” the realities of street life, and the questionable safety of every shrink-wrapped purchase.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. John’s Sketchy CVS Experience

• Location Anecdote:
  John shares his long, odd history with a specific CVS on 16th Street & Camelback, sandwiched between “a decent area and a cruddy area.”
• Late-night Past Encounter:
  Years ago, during a 2 AM Gatorade run (for sick girlfriend Megan), John notes the “seagull” metaphor for the people hanging outside:

  “They’re like seagulls. Gimme a gun. I got nothing for you, seagulls.” (04:06)

• Daytime Return:
  He returns to the same store in the daylight, needing deodorant after an embarrassing realization…

2. Deodorant Disaster—Admitting to a Funk

• Mistaking Josh Blue’s Funk for His Own:
  After a studio photo with comedian Josh Blue, John notices a lingering stench:

  "I put my arm around him like, ‘Jesus Christ. Josh Blue smells horrible…’ But then I looked and I got palsy. Maybe his hand doesn’t reach over and do deodorant." (04:27)

• After interrogating his own BO, he realizes he only applied deodorant to one armpit:

  “I only did my right arm. I only did one armpit...I stunk.” (05:07)
  He texts Josh to apologize.

3. The Homeless Deodorant Sampler

• Live Hygiene Horror:
  John watches as a homeless man opens a fresh stick of Dove deodorant, applies it under his shirt, replaces the cap, and puts it back on the shelf:

  “He’s taken Walmart samples of the Dove Extra Dry…applied a little deodorant, put it right back on.” (06:12)

• Hosts’ Disgust and Jokes:
  • Brett: “Can you imagine that after that dude just put it on?” (06:47)
  • John: "He rubbed his smell on the bar. Not the other way around." (07:01)

4. Contaminated Consumer Goods: Are You Ever the First User?

• Audience Paranoia:
  The crew riffs on how many items (not just deodorant) get “sampled” in stores, leading to the horror of unknowingly using “pre-gooed” items.

  “How many times…have you purchased a brand new Old Spice and you weren’t the first one to use it?” (10:43)

• John’s Office Deodorant Gets Borrowed:
  An office mate admits to using John’s deodorant stick:

  “She goes, ‘Yeah, I use that every once in a while, too. I hope you don’t mind.’ Of course I mind! That’s disgusting!” (11:06)

• Rationalization:
  John shrugs off the female coworker using his stick, but draws the line at “dudes with armpit dreadlocks.”

5. Hygiene Drives and Homelessness

• Deodorant as Essential:
  Brady observes deodorant is a staple at food banks; John wonders if easy drugstore access makes it moot.
  • Brett floats: "Maybe we should do a deodorant drive." (08:29)
• Keeping “Them” Away:
  John’s take:

  “The bigger problem…isn’t finding a place for [the homeless]. It’s keeping them away from us. That’s the bigger things… How are they getting in and using our stuff?” (08:24)

6. Gross Out Escalation—Skin Tags & “Pre-Chewed” Produce

• Body Horror:
  The crew gets graphic about the possible conditions in a “community” deodorant stick (skin tags, lesions...):

  “If you pop that up, 'cause a lot of times I pull that last plastic piece off with my teeth. And then a little skin tag pops in your mouth. And now you’re chewing his gum. Oh God.” (12:12)

• Bulk Foods and Shared Samples:
  John recalls eating from the old Bashas’ bulk peanuts bin—next to a stranger spitting chewed shells back in.

  “It’s cud going back in there with the other peanuts.” (16:59)
  The crew bemoans the advent of communal candy barrels and germy kids:
  “What are you thinking giving those away? I think we’re gonna pay for that.” (17:20)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|------------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 04:06 | John | "They're like seagulls. Gimme a gun. I got nothing for you, seagulls." | | 04:27 | John | "Jesus Christ, Josh Blue smells horrible… What a hippie. Like a bag of corn nuts and mayonnaise in the sun." | | 05:07 | John | "I only did my right arm. I only did one armpit...I stunk." | | 06:12 | John | "He’s taken Walmart samples of the Dove Extra Dry…applied a little deodorant, put it right back on." | | 06:53 | Brett | "Can you imagine that after that dude just put it on?" | | 07:01 | John | "He rubbed his smell on the bar. Not the other way around." | | 10:43 | John | "How many times…have you purchased a brand new Old Spice and you weren’t the first one to use it?" | | 11:06 | John | "She goes, 'Yeah, I use that every once in a while, too...' Of course I mind! That's disgusting!" | | 12:12 | John | "If you pop that up...and then a little skin tag pops in your mouth. Now you're chewing his gum. Oh God." | | 17:20 | John | "What are you thinking giving those [bulk candy] away? I think we’re gonna pay for that." |

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Segment Timestamps

• [01:40] John’s “sketchy” CVS story background, past late-night visit.
• [04:06] “Seagull” metaphor & the Gatorade emergency.
• [04:27] Encounter with Josh Blue and the deodorant stink.
• [06:12] Witnessing the homeless man using deodorant and putting it back.
• [06:53] Reaction to shopping and post-use contamination.
• [10:43] Office deodorant borrowed; sharing hygiene horror stories.
• [12:12] “Skin tag gum” and body horror escalation.
• [16:40] Bulk foods and shared-sample memories.
• [17:20] The risks of communal food and modern hygiene.
• [End] Wrap-up on the perils of buying/using hygiene products.

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Tone & Overall Vibe

In classic “Morning Sickness” fashion, the tone is irreverent, relatable, and graphically funny—mixing real world concerns (public cleanliness, homelessness) with gross-out anecdotes and rapid-fire banter. The hosts have fun stretching minor observations (needing deodorant) into wider, hilariously hyperbolic cultural commentary. For those who haven’t listened, expect a blend of true-to-life horror stories and no-holds-barred humor about the everyday grossness lurking just out of sight.

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Transcript

[Brett Vesley]

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All right, HMS Podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Well, just in case you haven't been paying attention or if you've been mia, we'll let you know that Frank Caliendo is going to be performing at the Desert Ridge Improv this Friday and Saturday night. So tune in. Frank's going to be in with the guys all week long and just maybe we'll have tickets for you to go catch Frank live up north at Desert Ridge for the complete lineups and for tickets go to standuplive.com Desert Ridge Ridge, improv.com and Tempe improv.com grab some protection.

[John Holberg]

Here comes the best of Homburg's morning sickness. I'm 98k upd. I will say I told you weren't there yesterday. We went and had. Well, we are the election team of County Super Nintendo for Schools. Shelly Boggs. We put her over the top. She's convinced of it actually. And because we supported Shelly Boggs in her Primary Super Nintendo Bo decided to say, will you go to dinner with me and say, and so I can say thank you. So we did. And Broomhead's a big supporter too. So Broomhead was in on it from ktar. So Broomhead's there. Super Nintendo box. Soon to be Super Nintendo. Boggs, me, Brady and Toledo enjoying ourselves, having a nice thing. Well, prior to me going there, I stopped over at the. I think it's a cvs. I think CVS is the one that I got. I confuse CVS and Walgreens. But it's the drugstore in 16th Street, Camelback. It is the most hit or miss drugstore in a decent area butted up against a cruddy area you've ever been to in your life. And I've been there. Years ago, Megan got food poisoning in the middle of the night, laying in the bathroom with her shirt off, throwing up like crazy. Must have lost 12 pounds. And I've never seen her body look better, by the way. It's like it. She was ready for a flex off. Like her stomach muscles were shredded or throwing up all that stuff for at least the time being before she rehydrated was absolutely spectacular. Cans up in the air, they were just. But her face looked a little auschwitzy. She'd lost too much and her teeth were all puke stunk. But she's crying in the bathroom, goes in gain her, rained. I'm like, well, her last words are Gatorade. That's. Oh, you want me to go get that? I see. Okay. So two in the morning, I go over to the CVS and outside of it there's like just people like hanging out. Just like five, there's. And there's. They're not doing anything and I'm like sketchy. So I pull up my lights hit and immediately they're like seagulls. Give me a gun. Like, I got nothing for you, seagulls. And I go into the CVS to grab the Gatorade and there's just a dude laying down in there. The employee is like calling the cops. He's like, I got surrounded by these awful seagull people get the Gatorade and I leave them. Like that is one sketchy. Nothing good happens on 16th street in Camelback at 2 or 3 in the morning. So yesterday. So, you know, more daytime, it's okay. So I pulled in there yesterday because I had an issue yesterday. I have to apologize to Josh Blue. Josh. And then this might be bigoted towards people with handicaps. I just assumed Josh Blue can't put on deodorant. So we did our talk with Josh yesterday. He's one of the. One of my favorites. He's a great comedian. And he came in and so at the end, usually the guys from the club said, can we get a picture for social media? So we stand in front of the KUP wall and do a picture. I put my arm around him like, jesus Christ. Josh blue smells horrible. What a hippie. Like, a bag of corn, nuts, and mayonnaise in the sun just stunk. And I'm sitting there like, get me out of this picture. I don't know why Josh. But then I looked and I got the palsy. Maybe his hand doesn't reach over and do deodorant. So he's all. And he's from Denver, so it's this all natural thing. So I'm like, he stinks.

[Brady]

Rolls of stone under his armpit.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. So I smelled my left armpit, and I'm like, no, I'm good. It's not me. I don't have it. But I smelled my right, and I'm like, josh, blue stink got on me, and I. I smell horrible now. From this side over, he kept asking.

[Brady]

Me, and I was checking.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Like, yeah. I'm like, did he get on you?

[Brady]

I was smelling.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. So then I realized that I. I only did my right arm. I only did one armpit. Then I gave a whiff to my armpit, and it was brutal. I'm like, that was me. Like, Josh. So I text Josh. I'm like, hey, not for nothing, but I thought you stunk earlier today, but it was me. So if you smelled something, I apologize. I only did my deodorant. One arm. I don't know why. And it's. And I didn't have enough. I was down to where the plastic scraping against your skin. So I think I did the one and just threw it out. I thought I did both. I didn't. And I stunk. So on my way to go meet Super Nintendo Boggs and you guys, I stopped off at the same creepy cvs, and again, there's a dude standing outside. And he eyeballs me up and down. And I kind of looked at him. I gave him a look like, don't like. I mean. And then I'm like, look away. You're causing enough trouble. Well, I go, anyway. He follows me right in. So I'm going through the. I got a couple things I wanted to grab, and I had to get deodorant as well. Well, so did he, evidently. So he's in the aisle. This is why they're locking up antiperspirant. Deodorant. He's putting it on and he put it back. Oh, that's sampling. Yeah, he's taken Walmart samples of the Dove extra dry. He popped a little protective, which is easy to get off. Pop that right off of there. Applied a little deodorant, put it right back on, twisted it back down, popped the cap. And I'm. I'm watching as I walk towards him, I'm like, is that dude going to do what I think he's going to do? And he had under the shirt, looking around like, am I? And nobody said a thing. And I didn't rat him out. And I wanted to really bad, but somebody's gonna buy that.

[Brett Vesley]

And sometimes you go to the store and you see somebody like opening the deodorants up and smelling it, see if it's their fragrance. And can you imagine that after that dude just put it on?

[John Holberg]

Oh, because I can't imagine the antiperspirant won that fight. Like, more of him got on that. Yeah.

[Brady]

Homeless. A little center homeless.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, more of the homeless got on the antiperspirant than got the antiperspirant got on him. Like, expecting saddlewood. He rubbed his smell on the. On the bar. Not the other way around. Because I put it on. I smell like a sandal. I smell like flowers. Oh, it's dirty old. Smells like an old floho sandal. Yeah. Floating in the river. But I put it on. Not the same one, but I put deodorant on. I smell like. I smell good today. Like, this is a strong stink. I can only imagine that. That thing smells like corn, nuts and sun mayonnaise.

[Brady]

Now you gotta look at that cabin.

[John Holberg]

Like, I gotta wonder how many. And so that's the first time I thought to myself, at least he went dove. They need to. They need to lock up the deodorant. And I never thought that. I always thought. But he was. At least he's trying to clean up. But still they lock it up. They got it.

[Brady]

Everything will be locked up.

[John Holberg]

I'm good. Yeah, maybe just. You know what? That's what. But ordering now, because I do a lot of groceries online and stuff, the person buying I can be like, if I get deodorant or something, are they putting it on? Like, I don't trust anybody to touch the odor. And it's too easy to break into. Like, they gotta. They gotta shrink wrap the deodorant, plastic wrap, all they do. And then deodorant's gonna be $14 a. Ah. And the bigger problem with having to do something about the homeless isn't finding a place for them. It's keeping them away from us. That's the bigger things. Like we got. How are they getting in and using our stuff? I get it. It's a tragedy we're giving you water. I mean, is that enough once the water drives over?

[Brett Vesley]

Maybe we should do a deodorant drive.

[John Holberg]

Well, I think they got that covered. I don't think that they're not stealing water, but they're just, you know, using things. Like, you're gonna go in there and the bag, M&M's gonna be open. There's gonna be a couple missing. You just had a snack.

[Larry McFeely]

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[Larry McFeely]

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[Byron]

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[John Holberg]

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[Brady]

Definitely an item for those, you know, food banks and stuff that are collecting like toiletries.

[John Holberg]

Oh, sure. It's a need.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Oh, yeah. But evidently not anymore. You got nowhere to keep it now.

[Brady]

You got your sources.

[John Holberg]

You just wander into one of the. And they're outside of drugstores a lot. There's a lot going on in a drugstore. But how many times you have to wonder, have you purchased a brand new Old Spice and you weren't the first one to use it?

[Brady]

That's why I go to Costco and buy a pallet.

[John Holberg]

That's because it's all in that stuff. Shrink wrap. Yeah, you gotta. You gotta start thinking like that. Oh, I had some deodorant in my office for a while, and then Amy told me she was using it here and there. I'm like, you what? She goes, yeah, I use that every once in a while, too. I hope you don't mind. I'm like, of course I mind. That's disgusting. That's. But then I started thinking, ah, it's a girl. It's different if it was a dude.

[Brady]

Like this Old Spice with Marlboros.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. It smells like cigarettes and girl acids. Like that weird girl sweat. That straight. Yeah, it's got a. You're leaking some. Some latte and some Marlboro. How come my deodorant smells like an ashtray? But it's. Yeah, it was. So I didn't mind it. And she can use it. At first I was taken aback, but I'm like, ah, it's a girl. I. I don't. For some reason that doesn't bother me because there's no hair. This dude, he had dreadlocks in his armpit. I'm sure. But he hasn't washed the. You gotta wash them every once or you can't just. You can't. You can't just apply. Apply deodorant to your dirty body. But he did.

[Brady]

Rolling over, 30 or 40 skin tags.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, but. Oh, you. Yeah. Oh, and lesions.

[Brett Vesley]

All right, a little much.

[John Holberg]

And lesions. He's not wrong. It's. A couple of them had fallen off, so there was probably 30 or 44. And there's two or three. One stuck before. Imagine if you pop that up, because a lot of times I'd pull that last plastic piece off with my teeth. And then a little skin tag pops in your mouth. And now you're chewing his gum. Oh, God.

[Brett Vesley]

You thought my videos were bad.

[John Holberg]

This is terrible.

[Brett Vesley]

I draw the line.

[John Holberg]

But I thought of you, Brett, because I'm like, I'm gonna rat this. I'm ratting him out. And I did it would have. You ratted him out? No. You wouldn't have told. I see. I. I'm.

[Brett Vesley]

It's none of my business.

[John Holberg]

Kind of, though.

[Brett Vesley]

It's none of your business. You knew which would grab a different one.

[John Holberg]

I did grab a different one. There you go. Well, he didn't. He wasn't into my stuff. And by the way, he used the deodorant. Not an antiperspirant. Idiot. You're standing all day. At least try not to sweat. But yeah, I went down, too, to the.

[Brett Vesley]

I say which one it was so you can warn people it was an Old Spice Fiji.

[Brady]

You should have done the right thing and buy that.

[John Holberg]

Oh, and thrown it. Some bleeding heart would have thought that. And it didn't even to be honest with you, it didn't cross my mind.

[Brady]

Share it with all his friends.

[John Holberg]

Just rubbing a lesion pit juice all over each other. Anyway, yeah, it was the Old Spice Fiji. And it was the first. It was. There was only two left, and it was the, you know, mix and match now.

[Brett Vesley]

So switch brands, basically.

[John Holberg]

So basically, buy the dove. Don't even bother with. Let those Old Spice things rot. And in, like, 30 years, people be like, look, it's the old Old Spice logo. Still. They're. Still haven't sold them yet. Yeah, don't touch those. But I can't imagine, like, oh, sharing a stick with a homeless. I can't imagine. Todd Linkus in junior high used to always ask me for deodorant when we were pe. You go to Yoda. I'm like, yeah, but is that okay to chew? And he'd just grab it on my hands because he was huge. And he'd start using my. My band roll on.

[Brett Vesley]

Everybody did that in school. But that's. That's when you. That's when you buy the. The aerosol.

[John Holberg]

The spray ones were great, but they.

[Brady]

Do it, you know, clumps, like, around the village.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, they have the community spray can. There's the thing. Homeless. Brett's right. They have a spray version of this. Steal that.

[Brett Vesley]

Use the right car that nobody's used since the 80s.

[John Holberg]

Nobody sprays that into the air because Greta Thunberg told us not to. For some reason. That was something we listened to. Those are bad Ax homeless. They did have Axe body spray, too. And I thought, well, what are we doing here? Why you? He was probably doing. It pissed me off.

[Brett Vesley]

He wasn't going on the west side. He didn't need the Axe.

[John Holberg]

And he just walked through the parking lot over towards Total Wine and swamped up. But he felt pretty full of wine. They've had doing over there.

[Brett Vesley]

They don't sell Thunderbirds.

[Brady]

No, but they've had a cabinets over there as well.

[John Holberg]

If he smells better, maybe his begging goes better. I don't know.

[Brett Vesley]

God damn it, John. I'm driving a dry heaving right now.

[John Holberg]

I had to see it. Brady's fault. He brought up the skin tags that are probably real. I mean, I'm thinking of the times that he's all scarred up and, like the open, open seeping wounds that are in that armpit of his.

[Brett Vesley]

Injecting himself.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, he's probably injecting through the pits. Yeah, he's got pit herpes going on. Scabs. Well, anyway, so if you're at that one, just fair warning, I didn't rat him out at the store. I should have. I still regret that I didn't. So I'll rat him out here. That if you're at that particular cvs, if you work at that cvs, go pull out the Old Spice Fijis and toss. Toss the front two, or there were only two when I looked. And I recognize it because Old Spice Fiji is the stuff I used to use, but it smells a little too.

[Brady]

You can tell the one that's been popped off.

[John Holberg]

I don't think you can, because you know what I do.

[Brady]

You have to break the seal.

[John Holberg]

No, no, no. You just put that little plastic thing with the tab and roll it back in. It sucks right back down. I could do it right now because I brought extra deodorant into the office again, because I like having it here. Pop that cap off. You can put that thing right back on, roll it back down to nothing. You would never know because you're not suspecting someone's already used this when you buy it at home.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

There's no seal.

[Brady]

Bought a couple of those.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, there's. Yeah. You've probably rubbed up against the home leg. Yeah. God knows. And here's the other thing that I'll never do, because I watched this happen once, and I was kind of in on this. I used to go to Bash's and they had that big bucket of that box of peanuts and. Yeah, vegetable. I don't know if they still do that. Probably don't. But I remember I was eating the.

[Brady]

Stuff you buy by a pound or whatever.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, you scoop them out and get it in the bag. But they just have peanuts. Big bulk, giant box. And when I was bored, I'd stand there and I'd eat a few of them. Just throw the shells back. But I'm not cracking them with my mouth.

[Brett Vesley]

You're not sucking all the salt off.

[John Holberg]

Dude next to me was. Dude next to me grabbed a couple.

[Brady]

It was a regular gathering.

[John Holberg]

And he popped it and he threw it back in. And I'm like, it's cud going back in there with the other peanuts.

[Brett Vesley]

You see that it sprouts sometimes with the big things of candy, the big barrels. And you just see the kids with their gross hands.

[John Holberg]

Since the 60s that's been something.

[Brady]

That's been a trail mix.

[John Holberg]

People used to hit their kids and make them wash and stuff. And now that's just not even those Brock's candies that reach in the gummy bears for Christ's sake. What are you thinking giving those away? I think we're gonna pay for that.

[Larry McFeely]

You're insane.

[John Holberg]

Anyway, so be careful as you put your deodorant on this morning. Just realize that it could have been gooed already. Pre gooed and you have something. Probably how covet started. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.

[Brett Vesley]

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[Byron]

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[Brett Vesley]

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[Byron]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School [e-mail] Men, you take care.

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[John Holberg]

It's John Holberg and Brett Vesley from the morning Sickness coming at you. For our pals at Action Ride Shop.

[Brett Vesley]

It'S summertime, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the outdoors here in Arizona. You just have to be smart about it.

[John Holberg]

That's a fact, Burt. Action Ride Shop is step one in the smart department. They've got awesome deals on all their E bikes right now.

[Brett Vesley]

They also have specials on their mountain bikes and neighborhood commuters.

[John Holberg]

And just because it's hot out doesn't mean you can't grab a light and ride the glorious Arizona trails with an awesome setup from outbound lighting and night.

[Brett Vesley]

R. Get to Action Ride Shop on the 60 and Gilbert or their new location on McDowell and power actionrideshop.com.