Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – August 27, 2025

Podcast: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness (98KUPD, Arizona)

Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Main Topics: Driving rules for Kirby, Toledo’s son moving out, parenting milestones

Episode Overview

This episode revolves around family milestones and parenting decisions: Brett’s daughter Kirby is about to get her driver’s license, prompting talk of parental rules for teen drivers. Meanwhile, Brady’s son Alex is moving out to Tucson with no job lined up and minimal funds, sparking a candid, comedic exploration of how (un-)prepared young adults can be for independent living. The hosts debate the consequences, rules, and wagers around these two coming-of-age situations, mixing practical advice with characteristic banter and storytelling.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kirby Gets Her Driver’s License

• Status update: Kirby, Brett’s daughter, is eligible for her license after a six-month permit period; she missed qualifying by a day but finally gets the go-ahead.
  • “They had to hold her... it’s a law. You have to have your G permit for six months. Okay, so she got it on Feb first.” – Brett (02:01)
• Debate over celebrating: John asks if Brett will do a family night to commemorate the event, referencing how TV families mark these milestones.
  • “Are you gonna do that family thing where it’s like, in Happy Days when Richie got his license and everybody went to dinner and Richie drove?” – John (02:19)
• Preparedness and monitoring: Discussion turns to parental tracking apps like Life360, and whether parents set driving rules or just react to incidents.
  • “We had that on Alex’s and he was driving my car before we got his. Tracked him doing 90 on the 202.” – Brady (03:16)
• How many strikes until the car's taken away? No firm rules, just warnings about insurance price hikes or suspended licenses.
  • “I’ve told her…when you first get your license, you’ve got to be really careful because one ticket…your license [can be] suspended.” – Brett (07:25)
  • “Is there anything she can do to have that car taken away that isn’t just costing you money? Like did you have the rules set?” – John (07:37)

2. Toledo’s Son Alex Moves Out (Ready or Not)

• No job, few funds: Alex is moving to Tucson without work secured and only $260 to his name—a recipe, the hosts agree, for a quick boomerang home.
  • “He’s jobless. He’s moving out of town. He’s got no money.” – John (03:40)
  • “He’s got $260 in his account and... He’s got to figure out how to pay rent in 30 days.” – Brady (03:47)
• Advice (or lack thereof): Brady nudged Alex to leverage prior work at school programs, but doubts linger over his initiative.
  • “Smartest thing you could do, walk into a school down there and they’ll hire you… background checked, you’ve got your fingerprints in. Do that, you start earning a check right away.” – Brady (04:54)
• Host predictions and wagers: All express skepticism about Alex making it through the lease; John and listeners place tongue-in-cheek bets on when he’ll return.
  • “He’ll be back minus before Halloween. Before Halloween, there’s going to be talk of ‘how do I break this lease?’” – John (04:04)
  • “People want in on the action. We do a little FanDuel over/under on Toledo’s kid and when he’ll be back. I have Halloween as my over, man.” – John (13:58)
• Parenting strategy: John jokes that parents pay kids’ bills to keep them out of their house, not out of trouble.
  • “Parents don’t pay your bills to keep you out of trouble. They pay your bills to keep you from coming back.” – John (04:22)

3. Parenting, Consequences, and Independence

• Punishments and incentives: The group discusses the lack of hard and fast driving rules at home, with most punishments being more inconvenient for the parent than the kid.
  • “The last thing I want to do is take that car away. That means I have to drive her there.” – Brett (12:17)
• Cost of insurance: Car insurance—a constant theme—is used as a lever for discipline, with rates and financial pain always in the background.
  • “210 a month for Alex... if I pay six months at a time.” – Brady (07:01)
• Job requirements for keeping the car: While John’s dad turned him into a “landscaper” in exchange for car privileges, Brett’s household is laxer so far—at least until free rides threaten parental convenience.
  • “I ended up becoming his landscaper. Like, every day he’s like, 'all right, car’s mine if that yard ever needs to be mowed.'” – John (08:47)

4. Comic Relief: OnlyFans and Grindr as Job Alternatives

• Tongue-in-cheek desperation: With Alex’s financial straits, the hosts ripple with creative, risqué ideas for making rent, joking about OnlyFans and Grindr as last-ditch sources of income.
  • “Have him get an OnlyFans page.” – Listener suggestion (15:14)
  • “There’s where Alex can start making rent. I’ll pay you to perform one on you. He’s not asking me to do anything but close my eyes and imagine it’s not a dude.” – John (16:02)
  • “I kind of want to email back: how much? Because I think I can grin and bear that one.” – John (21:32)
• John’s exploits on Grindr: John shares stories of setting up a Grindr account for fun, marveling at men’s directness compared to traditional dating apps, and reading out some of the unsolicited propositions he’s received.
  • “This is, I'll pay you to give you a BJ. And I actually considered that one. Hey, wait a minute...” – John (16:02)
  • “Truly is cooler than trying. Not one of them has said, ‘Would you like to go to dinner and get to know each other?’” – John (15:56)
  • “These guys are not messing around...” – John (16:13)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the likelihood of moving back:
  “He’ll be back minus before Halloween. Before Halloween, there’s going to be talk of how do I break this lease. You know it, I prepare for it.”
  — John (04:04)

• On the parental insurance racket:
  “Parents don’t pay your bills to keep you out of trouble. They pay your bills to keep you from coming back.”
  — John (04:22)

• On teen driving punishments:
  “The last thing I want to do is take that car away. That means I have to drive her there.”
  — Brett (12:17)

• On insurance shock:
  “210A month for Alex. If I pay six months at a time.”
  — Brady (07:01)

• On OnlyFans & Grindr as solutions:
  “Have him get an only fans page.”
  — Listener (15:14) “There’s where Alex can start making rent… I’ll pay you to perform one on you. He’s not asking me to do anything but close my eyes and imagine it’s not a dude.”
  — John (16:02)

• On Grindr's directness:
  “Truly is cooler than trying... Not one of them has said, ‘Would you like to go to dinner and get to know each other?’ It’s like everything you want from a woman happens on a gay website.”
  — John (15:56)

Timestamps for Notable Segments

• [02:01] – Kirby’s driver’s license status and technicality
• [03:16] – Discussion of Life360 and parental oversight
• [04:04] – Predictions on how soon Brady’s son will return home
• [04:54] – Advice for Alex about finding a job in Tucson
• [07:01] – Insurance costs and teenage car privilege rules
• [12:17] – The inconvenience of disciplining by taking the car away
• [13:58] – Hosts and listeners bet on Alex’s “boomerang” date
• [15:14] – The OnlyFans solution joke
• [16:02] – John’s reflection on Grindr as a “job” alternative
• [18:49] – Grindr’s “bewitching hour” and user behaviors

Tone & Dynamics

This episode is delivered with quintessential HMS irreverence, affectionately roasting each other, their kids, and societal parenting standards. Serious parenting concerns—financial independence, responsibility, rule-making—are lampooned with sharp wit and self-deprecation, yielding a tone both relatable and riotous for listeners familiar with family transitions.

Conclusion

For listeners: Whether you’re on the cusp of sending a kid off to college, nervously handing them car keys, or just enjoying the chaos of “adulting” gone wrong, this episode is packed with laughs, real talk, and the kind of honest, sideways advice only Holmberg’s Morning Sickness delivers.