Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Entertainment Drill: Kirby’s 16th Birthday & Reflections on Driving Tests
Episode Date: August 28, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Crew: Brady Bogen (“Ronnie”), Bret Vesely, Alex, Byron, Dick Toledo
Episode Overview
This episode of the Entertainment Drill is a lively and nostalgic look at teenage milestones, inspired by the show’s own “Kirby” turning sixteen and preparing for her driving test. The crew shares amusing and exasperated personal stories about their own experiences getting driver's licenses—the hoops, the hassles, and the evolving rules. The discussion is peppered with playful ribbing, generational compare-and-contrast, and more than a little mock anxiety about new drivers on the road. The show closes with some pop-culture chatter, including a spirited debate about musicians who "aren't great singers."
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Kirby Turns 16: Modern Realities of the Driver’s Test
- [03:01] John announces Kirby’s 16th birthday, jokingly warning, “clear the streets. The Kerber herbs big ass feet are going to be hitting those pedals today.”
- [03:12] – [04:39] The crew discusses changes in how teens get their licenses now:
- You can’t just show up at the DMV on your birthday anymore; appointments are required.
- Driver’s education and defensive driving school now often take care of the actual driving test.
- Ronnie notes: “You can take a defensive driving school and a lot of them qualify for the driving part.”
- Nostalgia factor: John laments, “I just went to DMV that morning, did the three point park and left. Got my license.” ([03:39])
2. Stories from Their Own Driving Test Days
- [04:01] – [05:00] The crew reminisces:
- John drove his own car, a Jeep CJ7, for the test—“I’m killing this. This is easy.”
- Byron jokes about running errands with a grumpy instructor: “He’s like, okay, I gotta drop tapes off at Blockbuster.” ([04:25])
- John happily admits to “messing with” today’s student drivers just for his own entertainment, simulating real road threats and chaos ([05:00] – [06:36]).
3. Parental Agony & the Pressure of Teenage Driving
- [06:36] – [07:49] The stress of having a young driver in the house:
- John: “I’ll be at the Tap Dragon. Kirby, keep your phone on. Daddy doesn’t want to stumble into a problem on his way back.”
- Debate about whether walking in and waiting at the DMV on your birthday is still a thing. Consensus: No, now it’s appointment-based and much slower.
- Ronnie: “She has to wait. ... If she fails, we come back.”
- John: “If she fails, she walks back ... you get the brain of a ... of a squirrel if you fail your driving test.”
4. Is the Driving Test Too Easy—Or Too Hard—Today?
- [07:49] – [09:35]
- Parallel parking: Some tests still require it, some don’t.
- Most current tests use cones instead of real cars, making it far less stressful.
- John puts emotional pressure on Kirby: “You might be half a brain if you can't get through a driver's test. ... If she fails that test, she should walk home. She should walk everywhere.” ([08:21])
- Parental perspectives: Getting that license frees up parents after years of chauffeuring. “You don’t realize the freedom you’re about to receive. It’s probably going to hurt you.” ([09:24])
5. Kids Today: Lack of Interest in Driving?
- [09:37] – [09:58]
- Alex notes his own experience: “He wasn’t really into it. Got him his car. He’s gone every day.”
- John agrees: “That’s all I did was drive around.”
6. Comic Relief: Driving Fails, Family Mishaps, and High Expectations
- [10:00] – [10:29]
- Jokes about family members who can’t navigate basic car maneuvers, even after getting licensed.
- John: “The door has to be up. It’s a simple rule, lady. And she got a license?”
- John to Kirby: “If you fail that thing, you’re never going to get a car. You’re walking everywhere because that means you’re the dumbest person on the planet. Don’t fail the driver’s test.”
- Huge pressure, but all tongue-in-cheek.
7. Brief Note: Kirby Still Has to Wait
- [10:41] – [11:02]
- Ronnie reveals Kirby actually can’t take her test until the next day because her temporary permit isn’t quite old enough—bureaucratic snags even on your birthday.
8. Entertainment Drill: Celebrity Mishaps and Musicians Who Can't Sing
- [11:21] – [14:10]
- Elizabeth Banks had a choking incident on set—bravely saved by a coworker.
- John: “I have choked, and Toledo has thrown me around a room until I stopped choking. Actually wasn’t choking.”
- Debate: Great Musicians, Not-So-Great Singers
- Rancor poll—top five include Bob Dylan, Tom Waits, Neil Young, Paula Abdul, Jennifer Lopez.
- Crew disputes definitions—are some even musicians?
- Hot takes: “Ozzy can sing!” (John, [13:43]) // “Age does get us all.” // “Most unique voices in all of music. Take that back.” (John on Mick Jagger, [14:02])
- Elizabeth Banks had a choking incident on set—bravely saved by a coworker.
Notable Quotes & Moments
- [03:01] John Holmberg: “Happy birthday to Kirby today, 16 years old so clear the streets. The Kerber herbs big ass feet are going to be hitting those pedals today.”
- [04:39] John Holmberg: “I just went to DMV that morning, did the three point park and left. Got my license.”
- [05:00] John Holmberg: “I have a blast with student drivers. … If you were doing your student driving, I help you fail. I’m a learning tool.”
- [08:21] John Holmberg: “You might be half a brain if you can’t get through a driver’s test.”
- [10:14] John Holmberg: “The door has to Be up. It’s a simple rule, lady. And she got a license?”
- [10:29] John Holmberg: “This is real pressure from a real father figure. You fail that thing, you’re never going to get a car. You’re walking everywhere because that means you’re the dumbest person on the planet. Don’t fail the driver’s test.”
- [13:43] John Holmberg: “Ozzy can sing!”
Timestamps for Important Segments
- [03:01] Kirby’s 16th birthday, starting the driving discussion
- [04:01] – [05:00] Crew’s own driving license stories
- [06:36] – [07:49] Family stress, jokes about DMV trips, Kirby’s test
- [09:24] Freedom for parents after the kid gets a license
- [10:14] – [10:29] Heightened (mock) pressure and license consequences
- [11:21] Entertainment drill: Celebrity mishaps and musicians/singers debate
Tone & Style
HIGH-ENERGY, irreverent, affectionate, and peppered with both nostalgia and snark. John’s comic persona shines—equal parts proud dad, sardonic observer, and mischief-maker.
For listeners:
Missed the episode? You’ll get a blend of funny family drama, memories of getting on the road, and the bewilderment adults feel at today’s ever-changing rules for teens. Plus, classic Entertainment Drill banter to round out the segment.