08-28-25 - Entertainment Drill - MIX - 3x - Kirby Takes Her Driving Test Today On Her 16th BDay Reminding Us Of Our Drivers Tests BO

Summary

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Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Entertainment Drill: Kirby’s 16th Birthday & Reflections on Driving Tests

Episode Date: August 28, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Crew: Brady Bogen (“Ronnie”), Bret Vesely, Alex, Byron, Dick Toledo

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Episode Overview

This episode of the Entertainment Drill is a lively and nostalgic look at teenage milestones, inspired by the show’s own “Kirby” turning sixteen and preparing for her driving test. The crew shares amusing and exasperated personal stories about their own experiences getting driver's licenses—the hoops, the hassles, and the evolving rules. The discussion is peppered with playful ribbing, generational compare-and-contrast, and more than a little mock anxiety about new drivers on the road. The show closes with some pop-culture chatter, including a spirited debate about musicians who "aren't great singers."

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kirby Turns 16: Modern Realities of the Driver’s Test

• [03:01] John announces Kirby’s 16th birthday, jokingly warning, “clear the streets. The Kerber herbs big ass feet are going to be hitting those pedals today.”
• [03:12] – [04:39] The crew discusses changes in how teens get their licenses now:
  • You can’t just show up at the DMV on your birthday anymore; appointments are required.
  • Driver’s education and defensive driving school now often take care of the actual driving test.
  • Ronnie notes: “You can take a defensive driving school and a lot of them qualify for the driving part.”
• Nostalgia factor: John laments, “I just went to DMV that morning, did the three point park and left. Got my license.” ([03:39])

2. Stories from Their Own Driving Test Days

• [04:01] – [05:00] The crew reminisces:
  • John drove his own car, a Jeep CJ7, for the test—“I’m killing this. This is easy.”
  • Byron jokes about running errands with a grumpy instructor: “He’s like, okay, I gotta drop tapes off at Blockbuster.” ([04:25])
• John happily admits to “messing with” today’s student drivers just for his own entertainment, simulating real road threats and chaos ([05:00] – [06:36]).

3. Parental Agony & the Pressure of Teenage Driving

• [06:36] – [07:49] The stress of having a young driver in the house:
  • John: “I’ll be at the Tap Dragon. Kirby, keep your phone on. Daddy doesn’t want to stumble into a problem on his way back.”
  • Debate about whether walking in and waiting at the DMV on your birthday is still a thing. Consensus: No, now it’s appointment-based and much slower.
  • Ronnie: “She has to wait. ... If she fails, we come back.”
  • John: “If she fails, she walks back ... you get the brain of a ... of a squirrel if you fail your driving test.”

4. Is the Driving Test Too Easy—Or Too Hard—Today?

• [07:49] – [09:35]
  • Parallel parking: Some tests still require it, some don’t.
  • Most current tests use cones instead of real cars, making it far less stressful.
  • John puts emotional pressure on Kirby: “You might be half a brain if you can't get through a driver's test. ... If she fails that test, she should walk home. She should walk everywhere.” ([08:21])
• Parental perspectives: Getting that license frees up parents after years of chauffeuring. “You don’t realize the freedom you’re about to receive. It’s probably going to hurt you.” ([09:24])

5. Kids Today: Lack of Interest in Driving?

• [09:37] – [09:58]
  • Alex notes his own experience: “He wasn’t really into it. Got him his car. He’s gone every day.”
  • John agrees: “That’s all I did was drive around.”

6. Comic Relief: Driving Fails, Family Mishaps, and High Expectations

• [10:00] – [10:29]
  • Jokes about family members who can’t navigate basic car maneuvers, even after getting licensed.
  • John: “The door has to be up. It’s a simple rule, lady. And she got a license?”
  • John to Kirby: “If you fail that thing, you’re never going to get a car. You’re walking everywhere because that means you’re the dumbest person on the planet. Don’t fail the driver’s test.”
  • Huge pressure, but all tongue-in-cheek.

7. Brief Note: Kirby Still Has to Wait

• [10:41] – [11:02]
  • Ronnie reveals Kirby actually can’t take her test until the next day because her temporary permit isn’t quite old enough—bureaucratic snags even on your birthday.

8. Entertainment Drill: Celebrity Mishaps and Musicians Who Can't Sing

• [11:21] – [14:10]
  • Elizabeth Banks had a choking incident on set—bravely saved by a coworker.
    • John: “I have choked, and Toledo has thrown me around a room until I stopped choking. Actually wasn’t choking.”
  • Debate: Great Musicians, Not-So-Great Singers
    • Rancor poll—top five include Bob Dylan, Tom Waits, Neil Young, Paula Abdul, Jennifer Lopez.
    • Crew disputes definitions—are some even musicians?
    • Hot takes: “Ozzy can sing!” (John, [13:43]) // “Age does get us all.” // “Most unique voices in all of music. Take that back.” (John on Mick Jagger, [14:02])

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• [03:01] John Holmberg: “Happy birthday to Kirby today, 16 years old so clear the streets. The Kerber herbs big ass feet are going to be hitting those pedals today.”
• [04:39] John Holmberg: “I just went to DMV that morning, did the three point park and left. Got my license.”
• [05:00] John Holmberg: “I have a blast with student drivers. … If you were doing your student driving, I help you fail. I’m a learning tool.”
• [08:21] John Holmberg: “You might be half a brain if you can’t get through a driver’s test.”
• [10:14] John Holmberg: “The door has to Be up. It’s a simple rule, lady. And she got a license?”
• [10:29] John Holmberg: “This is real pressure from a real father figure. You fail that thing, you’re never going to get a car. You’re walking everywhere because that means you’re the dumbest person on the planet. Don’t fail the driver’s test.”
• [13:43] John Holmberg: “Ozzy can sing!”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:01] Kirby’s 16th birthday, starting the driving discussion
• [04:01] – [05:00] Crew’s own driving license stories
• [06:36] – [07:49] Family stress, jokes about DMV trips, Kirby’s test
• [09:24] Freedom for parents after the kid gets a license
• [10:14] – [10:29] Heightened (mock) pressure and license consequences
• [11:21] Entertainment drill: Celebrity mishaps and musicians/singers debate

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Tone & Style

HIGH-ENERGY, irreverent, affectionate, and peppered with both nostalgia and snark. John’s comic persona shines—equal parts proud dad, sardonic observer, and mischief-maker.

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For listeners:
Missed the episode? You’ll get a blend of funny family drama, memories of getting on the road, and the bewilderment adults feel at today’s ever-changing rules for teens. Plus, classic Entertainment Drill banter to round out the segment.

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Transcript

[Byron]

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[John Holmberg]

Hey, everybody, it's John Holmberg from the Morning Sickness talking to Shane Orlando from Orlando Auto Body. Now, Shane, I take great pride in saying I stand with someone when I tell a listener to go to their shop. I know why. You tell me what's different for a KUPD listener to go to Orlando Auto Body than anywhere else?

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[John Holmberg]

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[HMS Crew Announcer]

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[John Holmberg]

It's good to be on top, isn't it? Yeah.

[HMS Crew Announcer]

So get on top and ride.

[John Holmberg]

With the top morning show in town.

[HMS Crew Announcer]

And the best of Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

It'S time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] a home of tactical black. Get on out there. Like I always say, become a sheepdog. Stop being a sheep and start learning ways around it. I guarantee you they're working on something for this hypodermic Needle nonsense that's hit the news so hard. They got a plan for everything and they usually take it right out of what's going on. That's why it's ever evolving. There is no standard way to get stabbed, get attacked or anything else. So they kind of go oh my God, this is new. And they devise plans and methods around that. Ground fighting, stand up punching. You got to learn how to do all that stuff. And you will. And you'll find out how much fun it actually is. It's a blast. Not to mention all the self defense and all the seminars that they have available all the time. Reactdefense.com that's where you go find out all about their schedule and then just realize for two months you'll be paying 199 bucks for all of it. That's amazing. Personal training at that price is unheard of. Reactdefense.com it's the home of tactical black Kerbert Herb's birthday celebration Happy birthday to Kirby today. 16 years old so clear the streets. The Kerber herbs big ass feet are going to be hitting those pedals today.

[Ronnie]

I already got a from Alan CRE said is it red Mustang. I live in Gilbert. I just want to be on keep away.

[John Holmberg]

Wake up at dawn to go get her license.

[Ronnie]

Did not.

[John Holmberg]

Have she gotten it yet?

[Ronnie]

She's just been up for probably a half hour.

[John Holmberg]

Is she there getting it now?

[Ronnie]

I have to the first thing. No, you can't schedule until you're 16 to take the driving part so she needs to call what's today to set up an appointment.

[John Holmberg]

Basically you can't just show up on your birthday like the olden times. I didn't schedule anything.

[Ronnie]

Well you, you could but you'll just be subject to.

[Alex]

Schedule a time.

[Byron]

I did mine. Driver's ed club.

[John Holmberg]

I just went to DMV that morning.

[Alex]

And got my third party dmv.

[Ronnie]

So yeah, you can take a defensive driving school and a lot of them qualify for the driving part.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't do any of that. I drove to the DMV at 6:37 in the morning, did the three point park and left. Got my license.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, I think I did mine after school cuz it was.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you just showed up. There wasn't a schedule or like a class.

[Alex]

I had to take out it on the three point park.

[John Holmberg]

Mine was tight. I got to drive my own car too at a 1986 Mine Jeep CJ7. Backed her right in, pulled out. We're driving around the neighborhood. The guy's like Good job. Stop. And I'm like, I'm killing this. This is easy. We just went around once, went back in, took a picture and I was done.

[Alex]

Plus, with the three point turn, if you got a parent that has a car with a backup camera, well, now.

[John Holmberg]

Three point turns are nothing. Too crazy. That's weird.

[Byron]

We did ours in driver's ed class. Like, I had to run errands with the guy that was like, we had to go off for an hour. He's like, okay, I gotta drop tapes off a blockbuster.

[HMS Crew Announcer]

We gotta do this.

[Byron]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Byron]

Good enough.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't like drivers. That only happened for us in a classroom. And it only counted for your insurance.

[Byron]

Oh, yeah. No, we didn't do anything count for insurance too.

[Alex]

We did.

[John Holmberg]

We did no driving. You had to sign up to do the student driving thing. Which by the way, had the time of my Life yesterday on 16th street coming up. I got student drivers all around my house and I love effing with them. And this lady, I saw her two cars up, she was older, getting her. I don't know what's going on. Student driver and this thing's bouncing off each line of the center lane on 16th street right up there by. I guess it was close to Missouri. And so I pulled the jeep right up next to it and drifted into the. Just. I mean, I was. I could have touched the car. I'm really good. And she's drifting all the way over and the guy in the passenger seat sitting there looking at me and he's got us. And then so I just went right with her right over the other side. And then like I hit my brakes. So she goes and gets a little ahead and then I'm right on the quarter panel. I have a blast with student drivers. I welcome that. I see one at least every day. I play with one once a week. The most fun for us for you guys want to play along. Student driver and this is true of old people as well. Get in front of them and don't hit your brakes. Downshift into first gear your carries itself into the road. No brake lights. The panic that ensues in a student driver and an old person behind you is one of the funniest things you'll ever see in a rear view mirror because then you throw it right back in drive and hit the gas and you're gone. They can't hit you. Your time is just right and you create great chaos in somebody's head. Student drivers. That's me. If you were doing your student driving, I Help you fail. I'm a learning tool. A learning tool. And I'm sure the guy in the past said that's gonna happen. You got people like that all over the road. So I'm helping you with a little bit of adversity on your student driving day. And if I see Kirby out there today, I'm gonna do the same. Downshift. No brakes. Great. Used to be easier with a stick shift. You go from fourth right into second. Throw it into first, you're barely going. And then drop it into second and take off again.

[Byron]

Best part is now she can pick you up at the Tap Dragon when you're tying one on.

[Ronnie]

Yep.

[Byron]

You got a ride now.

[John Holmberg]

I'll be at the Tap Dragon. Kirby, keep your phone on. Daddy doesn't want to stumble into a problem on his way back. Okay. Happy birthday, Kirby. Derps. Why not just take your chance and head on over to the DMV and say, I'm 16 and win a license?

[Ronnie]

We can.

[John Holmberg]

Well, why? Why not? I don't know why she's not doing that. I don't understand kids today. Get your ass over to that DMV and sit in line and wait.

[HMS Crew Announcer]

Well, you.

[Ronnie]

You turn in your. You know, they give you a. The temporary driver's license, then, yeah, turn that in to get the new one. They'll give another piece of paper. But she's getting that travel ID license. Same.

[John Holmberg]

Can't just do that all in one hit.

[Ronnie]

I did it. I set up an appointment. Though it helped because I didn't want to sit in that.

[John Holmberg]

But you're not 16. Of course you don't want to sit in the DMV. You've got a lot.

[Ronnie]

No, but I'd still be sitting in the DMV if we didn't set an appointment right now.

[John Holmberg]

Still, it would have taken weeks.

[Ronnie]

Well, no, If I go there. If we just drive there. Yeah, she still. She has to wait.

[John Holmberg]

Drop her off.

[Ronnie]

I have to wait.

[John Holmberg]

No, you don't. She has a car by the end of. If she does any good.

[Ronnie]

No, she doesn't.

[John Holmberg]

Sure she does.

[Ronnie]

They drive it and they don't. You don't use your car.

[John Holmberg]

You drop it in the parking lot, you and Ronnie, and you go about your day. There you go.

[Ronnie]

But then if she fails, we come back.

[John Holmberg]

If she fails, she walks back. Because you get the brain of a. Of a squirrel if you fail your driving test.

[Byron]

You see some of these idiots out there.

[John Holmberg]

If I ever. Yeah, I mean, look around and tell me that if she's not capable of getting A license. And they are. You need to terminate this one. There's no going forward if you fail a driver's test. And it's not like a big rig test.

[Ronnie]

I think the toughest thing is still. And some of them that I. What I hear some do, some don't.

[John Holmberg]

It's parallel park again.

[Ronnie]

There's a couple of them that won't. That don't have that anymore.

[John Holmberg]

You might be half a brain if you can't get through a driver's test. We got to be careful. She fails that test, she should walk home. She should walk everywhere for.

[Alex]

Because I think the one that Alex did was between cones. So you don't have to worry about cars.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Alex]

So you just got to get it.

[John Holmberg]

Between the cones parallel parking style. What do you. You're not driving like a 78 Regency Brome. You're gonna be fine. You know, wouldn't make her do it in the Navigator.

[Ronnie]

No, I had. You know, again, it'll come down to how they do under pressure or something. You know, she's had plenty of pressure between Ronnie and I. I don't understand what.

[John Holmberg]

That's a lot of pressure on your daughter. Oh, okay. What?

[Ronnie]

The wheel is at no pressure.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. Ever.

[Ronnie]

Be careful, angel. Yeah, exactly.

[John Holmberg]

Precious cargo.

[Alex]

Have you raised your voice to her?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Ronnie]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

16 year lie. Another lie. That was a terrible lie. See, my song shoulders lies in a big way. Well, congratulations, Kirby. I don't know why you're not at DMV now. Kicking back and waiting your turn with that little number.

[Ronnie]

She might be good.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good kid right there.

[HMS Crew Announcer]

Free.

[John Holmberg]

Your parents of all the burdens of the last 16 years are driving you all over. You don't realize the freedom you're about to receive. It's probably going to hurt you because.

[Ronnie]

You like driving right now. Are you at the dmv?

[John Holmberg]

Glorious.

[Alex]

It is very freeing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's got to be the best watching my friends faces change when their kids. Their last kid gets a driver's license. Amazing.

[Alex]

And I was worried because like you had told me right around the time Alex got his. They're like kids don't want to drive anymore. For a brief period of time. He wasn't really into it. Got him his car. He's gone every day.

[John Holmberg]

That's all I did was drive around.

[Alex]

Gone every day.

[John Holmberg]

I love it. I still wanted to real quick.

[Alex]

Oh, John, can you have Kirby come to my house? My stupid wife has trouble pulling forward into the driveway to park without hidden goddamn garage door.

[John Holmberg]

The door has to Be up. It's a simple rule, lady. And she got a license.

[Byron]

She's got to be hard, okay?

[John Holmberg]

If Kirby fails, this guy's wife can't figure out when to get in and out of the garage. When the door's down, she got a license. Everybody should be able to get a driver's license. It's dummies fail those tests, Kirby. I'm putting that heat on you right now. This is real pressure from.

[Alex]

Hit the garage door.

[John Holmberg]

This is real pressure from a real father figure. You fail that thing, you're never going to get a car. You're walking everywhere because that means you're the dumbest person on the planet. Don't fail the driver's test.

[Ronnie]

Evidently, she failed it. Nope. She's saying, I guess I can't make an appointment until tomorrow. And I go, well, we can just go in, can't we?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

She says, yeah, but I guess my six months isn't up until tomorrow.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's her birthday.

[Ronnie]

Sixteen.

[John Holmberg]

She's fine.

[Ronnie]

So she says, I don't know. We. We could. Maybe they'll make an exception.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, there's no exception.

[Byron]

Fight for it.

[John Holmberg]

You're 16. Get your ass in there. You got a birth certificate? You're fine.

[Alex]

Brady, you need to start getting used to the phrase go to. Go to the store and pick up some milk. Go fill up my car. Go pick that up for me. Go pick up your mother.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's ready. Go to hell. Wow. What? Yeah, get used to this.

[Ronnie]

Elizabeth Banks was choking and had to be saved by a co worker.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my.

[Ronnie]

You can relate to her.

[John Holmberg]

I have choked, and Toledo has thrown me around a room until I stopped choking. Actually wasn't choking.

[Alex]

Co worker help her?

[Ronnie]

She was working on.

[John Holmberg]

Did the co worker help me?

[Alex]

No, that's why I was asking.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, he really was drinking. A co worker came through. She came out of her trailer, and she was choking, and she gave him the signal somehow, you know, turned her back. Guy gave her Heimlich. Out came the pee.

[John Holmberg]

A pee, A pee.

[Alex]

What did she say yours was? Steakhouse.

[John Holmberg]

Steakhouse syndrome.

[Alex]

Syndrome.

[Byron]

It was. Well, it was that hot potato, hot potato. I saw somebody dying. I just took a drink and looked the other way.

[John Holmberg]

Brett wasn't involved in that either. Oh, this guy's not doing too great. You and the waitress at Texas Grill?

[Byron]

Yep. Give me another vodka soda while I'm.

[John Holmberg]

Waiting the drinks off. While I was getting the Heimlich, she.

[Byron]

Reached under Toledo's arms and put him on the table.

[John Holmberg]

And all I remember was my the last words I would have heard if I had continued to choke would have been, oh, my. Because that was it. That lady was just like, wow, you guys are kind of in my way.

[Ronnie]

People are voting on Rancor right now on which great musicians aren't really great singers.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, geez. There's a lot of those.

[Ronnie]

The top five right now.

[Alex]

Musicians. So they're playing an instrument.

[John Holmberg]

Also currently someone who's just a good musician but doesn't sing well.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Top five right now. Bob Dylan.

[John Holmberg]

I was gonna say Bob Dylan is the all time.

[Alex]

Neil Young.

[Ronnie]

Paula Abdul's number four.

[John Holmberg]

She's not a musician.

[Ronnie]

That's how they're.

[Alex]

She doesn't put them on there.

[Ronnie]

Tom Waits, number three. Neil Young, number two.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Ronnie]

Jennifer Lopez, number one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. But is she a musician? She doesn't play anything. She just.

[Alex]

I know.

[Ronnie]

That's what I'm thinking, but I guess.

[John Holmberg]

Sir, people are just currently really mad at her.

[Ronnie]

Your voice is an instrument.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, it's not. Trust me.

[Alex]

Disagree.

[John Holmberg]

Pick up a guitar and start singing and see which one you can do faster.

[Ronnie]

Trying to think. Dave Mustaine's number eight.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, that's. That's about right.

[Ronnie]

Brian Johnson, number 11.

[John Holmberg]

No way. I had to do Back in Black on Friday. That's a. That's a killer, man.

[Ronnie]

Ozzy 16.

[John Holmberg]

Ozzy can sing.

[Byron]

He used to be able to.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's true. Okay. Age does get us all, Vince. Neil's got to be on there now.

[Ronnie]

Yeah, they don't have him on there.

[John Holmberg]

Back in the day.

[Ronnie]

Mick Jagger, Jack White.

[John Holmberg]

Mick Jagger. Most unique voices in all of music. Take that back.

[Ronnie]

Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this.

[HMS Crew Announcer]

Hey, you want to win $979? Well, check this out. Handle the Heat is back with another chance to win and another chance to check out a home bird special on the menu at Native Grill and Wings. That's right. Join the HMS Crew at Native Grill and Wing during one of our 4U brews for a chance to participate in Handle the Heat. That's Holmberg's hot wing eating contest. For details on all the contest rules, head to 98kupd.com think you can handle the heat? Well, bring your appetite and find out. It's all brought to you by Native Grill and Wings.

[Byron]

Hey, Byron, I was [e-mail]'s website.

[John Holmberg]

You have everything.

[Byron]

And the prices are incredible.

[MMP Guns Representative]

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys, and more. The best part is, if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[Byron]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[MMP Guns Representative]

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[Byron]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP guns dot com.

[HMS Crew Announcer]

All right, HMS Podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Well, just in case you haven't been paying attention or if you've been mia, we'll let you know that Frank Caliendo is going to be performing at the Desert Ridge Improv have this Friday and Saturday night. So tune in. Frank's going to be in with the guys all week long. And just maybe we'll have tickets for you to go catch Frank live up north at Desert Ridge for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive. Com, Desertridgeimprov. Com and tempeimprov.com.