
Loading summary
Brett Vesley
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
John Holmberg
Hey everybody, it's John Holmberg from the Morning Sickness talking to Shane Orlando from Orlando Auto Body. Now, Shane, I take great pride in saying I stand with someone when I tell a listener to go to their shop. I know why. You tell me what's different for a KUPD listener to go to Orlando Auto Body than anywhere else? Well, first of all, we've been in the Valley here for over 34 years. We do a quality job. We work for you, not the insurance companies. So we can work together to make sure your listeners are getting the customer service they deserve. If your car's been wrecked and you need that thing fixed the right way, get on over there now. Orlandoautobody.com hey, you want to win $979?
HMS Podcast Announcer
Well, check this out. Handle the Heat is back with another chance to win and another chance to check out a Holmberg special on the menu at Native Grill and Wings. That's right. Join the HMS Crew at Native Grill and Wings during one of our four Uberus for a chance to participate in Handle the Heat. That's Holmberg's hot wing eating contest. For details on all the contest rules, head to 98kupd.com Think you can handle the heat? Well, bring your appetite and find out. It's all brought to you by Native Grill and Wings.
John Holmberg
At Native Grill and Wings, we bring the big flavors to match the big moments. Our fresh never frozen wings come in over 20 bold flavors served up hot and ready for every game winning Play football is back. Kick back with an ice cold beer or a handcrafted cocktail and catch all the action at Native Grillin. Wings. Need to feed the fam? Get two large pepperoni or cheese pizzas for just 20 bucks. It's a whole lot of flavor for one unbeatable price. Cold drink, great food, even better deals. Visit native grillinwings.com to find the restaurant nearest you all they show with none of the fluff. Let's get started. There's more of the best of homework's morning sickness. We do a little house cleaning this morning. Start it all up. Oh, what are we doing? I've been hearing a lot about this stuff. Not just from you. I get it and you're getting it. Toledo gets it. I don't know that Brady gets it as much because Brady doesn't really have to deal with it. Still pretty annoying. If you are an emailer of the show via my email. Brady's, Brett's, anybody else's, or the basic one, the admin one, the one that comes through as the whole show. Yeah. Have a succinct thought. Knock it down. If we get more than 95 emails from a single person in a, in the morning, that's too many. That's, that's, that's a couple too many, I'd say at max, try to limit your emails to like 10 to 12 a day. And that's full participation emails, not just your thoughts. A lot of the times the people we're talking about are borderline insane. Brett's got a guy who now and we don't have to block people. And that's the thing. It's like we're trying to figure out, I heard Toledo saying, click this, do that. Trying to figure out a way to get like no one word emails necessary. Don't do it. By the way, all you. I know, I know what I'm doing. I know what's going on. But it's weird because like there's a, there's like a group of five or six people and you know who you are that you're just hammering away. We appreciate you listening. We like that you're, you're playing along, but that's too many and that's too much. It's a certain time we have to sit down and go, you're a nice man. It's your cable guy. If you remember the movie, you're just, you're too much. Would it be think it through?
Brady
Could you say, like, if you're going to, I don't know, go on a trip or something on shrooms, Microdosing.
John Holmberg
Right.
Brady
Or drinking too heavy, maybe stay away from a computer.
John Holmberg
Well, that's going to be a time tough one to enforce. I agree with you most of the time, but telling people sober, yeah, you should stay away makes sense. When they're drunk, it stops making sense.
Brady
It's like taking the, you know, take the keys away.
John Holmberg
It's just a different language when, when somebody's plastered and they're like, you know, I got something to say. Especially because if you're listening on the podcast and you start talking to the podcast and we wake up the next morning to your emails about what you were thinking at 4:30 in the afternoons about what we were saying at 6:30 in the morning, we don't know, we don't remember what you're talking about. We have no idea what you're talking about. So yeah, the guy, I don't Know names and maybe we will shame them. There's a list of them. There's a list of you, and it's getting weird. And. And, yeah, and the last thing I want to do is start bumping you out, but if you got a billion emails or got a billion thoughts on your mind, you know, consolidate, you know, expedite your thoughts better. That's all. Just get them in there and get them out and think to yourself, is this a valuable thought? Maquette just threw up. Not an email. Not an email. This should Geico thing not. Not worth sending.
Brett Vesley
No emojis either.
John Holmberg
Dr. Rick. Yeah. No. One over one. Thumb up is not an email. Thumb up for what? Later on, bring it all together. You know what you could do is just. How about this? You put a timestamp on each one of your thoughts. Thumbs up, 5:45am and then just wait. Hit return and wait, don't send. And then your next thought. Brit's hair is not that great. All right, 6:12am and then, you know, like the 95. You're going to send it all in one email. We won't read it. Send it all in one email because we'll see how long it is. We'll be like, forget it. You know what else is another email that I want to. Oops, sorry, Excuse me, my cock went off. If you. If you start the email with, sorry, this is so long. That's all I read. Yeah, that's. That's. Oh, geez. Yeah, that's about it. If you start with, sorry, this email is so long. If the subject. Thank you. If the subject. Yeah, if the subject line says something about dogs, maybe I'll get a couple lines in before I realize for the most part. Sorry, this is so long. Is going to get like, ah, geez, I don't. I can't do it. We're trying. You try as hard as you can. We got text, we got Facebook. You got all that stuff. You got to be smarter with your thoughts. So to that guy. What's his name? Go ahead.
Brett Vesley
No, I'm not gonna say.
John Holmberg
All right.
Brett Vesley
Because he's gonna bury me with more.
John Holmberg
That's true. He knows who he is. Yeah. Yeah.
Brett Vesley
There's a list of them, though.
John Holmberg
We got like eight of them. William, who constantly, like every. Like, during. Like, we'll be during a break, he'll respond to me like he's in the room. Like, I'll be like, brady was at that. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I was at a place before. Okay. And yeah, that's an email. Like, I'VE been there. I've been. There's not an email. I've been. There's a inner thought. Like, I don't.
Brady
It's not that great.
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, that would be a. That would be an actual email. An email where you say, oh, I've been there. And it was a one out of five. That's an actual email. I've been there. Not an actual email, not an actual thing. I need to know if you finish up with a. An action thing. Oh, the place Freddy's talking about, I saw roaches all over. You're actually giving me some information. I've actually attended that place or I've eaten there before. So we understand other people have been there. We're not the only ones. Yeah, I don't care about that. Just gotta calm her down a little bit. We're getting into the 90s with a few people.
Brett Vesley
97 yesterday.
John Holmberg
97 from one guy. That's a lot.
Brady
It's a lot of time, too.
John Holmberg
You think so?
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
But Brady, when you read the emails, you realize that each one's taking about half a second. Yeah. So it's. It's not always in a conversation.
Brett Vesley
Sometimes you just get an emoji, like a smiley face. What the hell is this?
John Holmberg
And it's fine. You can. You can thumb through. But then when it kind of gets in the middle of all the other things, you don't realize you're not the only. You're not the only one doing it.
Brady
This is just 10 minutes of his day.
John Holmberg
Yeah, there's a lot of people emailing, and then you're kind of in the way. And then we just start. We see your name and we're like, delete. Next. We're not reading them anymore. There's nothing of substance. And maybe a few times you've got a good joke or a gem or something, and we're just skipping right over it because you're swinging at all the pitches, the hundred pitches a game, and you swung at all of them. The game's going to end quick for you. That's all I'm saying. So just a little house cleaning. Most of you are great. Most of you get it. But a few of you, this guy says, are you saying you don't like my drunken email sex pics and videos? What if I sent you 40? Would that be okay? I don't need to see 40 of your dicks, Tyson. That's about it. This one says, sorry, this email is so long. And it's a picture of a lady with a long. I Got the same one. Thanks, George. See George. George gets how to email. That's funny.
Brady
And the one said, get me the tragedy once or the drama that's going on that Catch me Brady. You're a good dude. My daughter is in the hospital right now on a respirator.
John Holmberg
And, yeah, you get a lot of condition.
Brady
And I'm going through this and you're thinking, that is horrible. Could I get Corn tickets?
John Holmberg
Yeah. Those are weird. Those are strange. When it's. My life is falling apart, so I can't afford tickets to Slipknot, but I need to see them. It's like, shouldn't you be, like, donating to KTR's Phoenix Children's Hospital? Or, like, shouldn't we do something else right now?
Brady
What would happen, though? How good would you feel if you were at the Corn concert and your daughter flatlined?
John Holmberg
Email that back. Yeah, I would. Dear friend, Dear friendo, I would love to give you tickets to Slipknot, but if your daughter dies and you're there, I'd feel responsible for that. So. No. And I don't like saying no to people, but no to you. Go tend to your dying baby. My son Sid, looks like tonight might be it. He would really want to see his daddy's last day at Corey Feldman and Limp Bizkit. No. So don't. Yeah, don't if you've got a tragedy. You know, I've read plenty of people like, hey, you helped us. We laughed. We had a moment, and we started laughing because you guys made me laugh after my tragic situation. That's. It's sad. But it's also nice to hear that they had a moment with us, that we. Our job meant something for a second, and that was a nice thing. If you ask for tickets to it afterwards, it immediately negates the death of your beautiful child. And she's gone. Now we're gonna get tickets. Tickets to Slipknot. You're like, oh, no, this isn't one of those, is it? Yes, but it happens, and it's very strange. So just don't, I guess, is the best way. It's the Joe Biden approach to Iran. Don't. Just don't.
Brett Vesley
Now your grinders are open.
John Holmberg
Sup? Sup, Sup.
HMS Podcast Announcer
Getting all these. One word.
John Holmberg
Yeah, and I'm fine with that. Like, you're gonna make jokes about it, which is hilarious, but, you know, have a purpose to your thought. That's all. That's it. You know?
Brett Vesley
And, like, when we're on Best Stuffs.
John Holmberg
Too, we always talk about it. I mean and I get it.
Brett Vesley
People just tune in and they don't. They don't realize we're on a best stuff possibly and they start calming commenting on things. When the hell do we talk about that?
John Holmberg
I like the ones where I have friends who have my text and they'll start firing off on best ups and stuff like that. And then I'll just be like I'm in bed or I'm sick or I'm whatever it is, dude, I totally got duped. Like it's not. It's the same people. It sounds like we're there. I understand how you could be fooled by this, but yeah. So the. Just a little house cleaning on the email 97 is too many. And you know, if you want to have 10, that's. That's fair. I probably could like Kyle Pierce. He pays attention all morning long. He's a fun one. Travis. I got a bunch of people who email that are fun and I don't count them because it seems like every email is enjoyable and content. Following along. Yes, and there's some engagement involved, not just shouting out my car has three wheels right now. I might answer back what happened? You were talking about. Oh God, you're not following the. You don't know how to have a conversation. You're going crazy. Just that. And then I get this. This is the type of email I want this as I'm trying to see this is the thing, as I'm trying to thumb through my emails and I find gems like this I gotta sift through. 97 ramen isn't very good. Okay, stop it.
HMS Podcast Announcer
Hey, you want to. $979. Well, check this out. Handle the Heat is back with another chance to win and another chance to check out a Holmberg special on the menu at Native Grill and Wings. That's right. Join the HMS Crew at Native Grill and Wings during one of our 4U brews for a chance to participate in Handle the Heat. That's Holmberg's hot wing eating contest. For details on all the contest rules, head to 98kupd.com think you can handle the heat? Well, bring your appetite and find out. It's all brought to you by Native Grill and Wings.
Brady
It's Brady from the HMS Crew for game Day Men's Health, the valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations. You should do what I did and schedule a complimentary appointment which is quick and easy. You'll meet with a board certified medical director and figure out what treatments that can help you, whether you need more energy, medical, weight loss or sexual health treatments. Game Day Men's Health Clinic is a true game changer. Go to gamedayphoenix.com and schedule your complimentary appointment today. Get back in the game with gameday Men's Health.
Brett Vesley
We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?
Byron
The choice is simple, Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact, right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have Ammo Inc. 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.
Brett Vesley
Well, it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.
Byron
That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at the northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School online at mmpguns.com.
John Holmberg
Sickness and you have to know when you're emailing something stupid. You have to. I don't think you do these. I don't know. Is it lonely? Is it a lonely person? Who would do that? Toledo knows. Toledo's guy. Toledo's one to do. There was another guy. You guys used to go, he's off his meds. Oh yeah, disappeared. That one. That guy went away. He pops up every now and then, but it's been weeks. Weeks. That guy was hundreds of emails. Yeah.
Brett Vesley
On a weekend we would just get slammed. We're not even on the air.
John Holmberg
But his messages were audio messages. You can do that in the app? Worse. And he's like working out characters or accents or stuff.
Brett Vesley
Sebastian was in there and you know.
John Holmberg
I made a super cutout. Are you sure?
Brady
I stopped calling a while man.
John Holmberg
B bogan at 98k video. These emailing people sound little. Sebastian, let me just say it been 15 minutes since you put out your message. It's not hitting. No. Well, I'm sure right now there's going to be a bunch of jackasses going, but the guy we're talking about. Yeah, still drilling. Yeah. Still not getting it. My question is, is like do you.
Brady
Text people like that?
John Holmberg
Would you like if you got 97 texts from a friend of yours in a day, would you block them? I mean if we're interacting, that's different. But if I'm just getting like unsolved, unanswered, solicited, I would probably just Call.
Brady
Them and ask what's going on this morning.
John Holmberg
No, no. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, you go ahead and do that in your office. You go standing. You take care of that on your own. Hi, buddy. Hey, Mr. Texalot. How are you? I was talking about. I have blue eyes. All right, all right. Enough with the random facts, Larry King. Let's get this together. It's. It's just. That's enough. That's plenty. We're done with that. That's enough. I was going to. You show those points for you. Brady's got sun on his eyes. But. Yeah. So I just. I wanted to clear that up. And of course, I'm getting people who like me, and I like them. It's not me, is it, bro? It says 95 emails in one morning. Does that include the 87 emails from Uber Eats receipts for Brady? Those don't count. Those are actual, like. Those are.
Brady
They know better.
John Holmberg
Those are called result emails. And those. Those are.
Brett Vesley
Those are receipts.
John Holmberg
We got a receipt. There's a call to action with those. There's actually. It's worth it. That's worth it. He said, how does Brett read emails? They don't have hands moving all over. It's a different language. And that's true. Brett's Italian emails have to have hands. That's why I just delete them.
Brett Vesley
I don't read them.
John Holmberg
I don't know what this guy's talking about. It's. Yeah. Very real. So. And of course, see, now people are smart. These are good emails. Sorry, this is so long. Is the title of my last sex tape. Yeah, I see now. That's good stuff. I'll read that. Would see how that only went for, like, it had a beginning, mid, and end. It had a punch line, and it was over. It was worthy. This guy says John. Kind of the same, but not. I have a few guys that follow me on Instagram that send me Instagram videos all the effing time. One guy's a firefighter, sends me literal a video every three to five minutes. One day I counted 150 videos, and the stuff he's sending isn't funny or interesting anyway. I had to block him. Play Slayer. Please. DB we. Maybe we'll play Slayer, but that's the problem is we don't talk to each other about it anymore. We don't have these moments. We just block instead of just going, excess. You're excessively bothering me. Remember times in my. When you get somebody that would call the house too much and, like, your dad would be like, tell him not to call here anymore. And you'd have to say, dude, you're calling too much. You'd have to actually confront someone and tell them, like. Like you didn't have the hoa of block. Like, the hands off. You used to have a phone call from the kid that wouldn't stop calling. Every two minutes. As he calls, that kid calls. Also, my sister had a guy that would. Of course, she had a few. That's what trollops do. Well, you didn't speak their language, right? Yeah, it was very difficult. We had to get the translator from. Yeah, it was very hard. My sister's boyfriends would call. Hola, Mr. Humber. Is Punta there? It's not a goddamn name. Jesus. But tell him to quit calling. I remember my dad grabbing my sister by her hair. Not hard, but grabbed her by the hair and turned her around. And he goes, tell him to never call my house again. And gave her the phone. And evidently, he'd called my dad, dude, a couple of times or something. Hey, dude, is your daughter around? Yes, but you need to respect me. Sorry about that, dude.
Brett Vesley
Sorry, bro.
John Holmberg
And it was like, all right, Spicoli, that's enough. You're done.
Brady
The car pulls up, and there's a fringe hanging down from the windshield.
John Holmberg
There's a couple. Oh, that's. That's. You're joking. That happened multiple times at my house. There were dice and the. And the weird fuzzy balls across the. My sister was into that with guys she liked.
Brady
Lady of Guadalupe on the dash, candles.
John Holmberg
Like, there were dudes who had cars that jumped before you knew about cars that jumped. I don't think that they were intentionally doing that. I think they said bad shocks because of all the sex that was going on in the backseat with that guy and one of my family members. But I remember my dad. I was playing ColecoVision with one of my sister's boyfriends once, and he was probably 20. My sister was maybe 16, and I'm 13, 12. We're playing ColecoVision and we're killing. My dad comes home and he goes, hey, whose car's in the driveway? And the guy goes, that's me. And he just keeps playing. He goes, move it. Get it out of my driveway. He just came home from. My dad was done. And he goes, I'll get to it in a second. Oh, no, you won't. Oh, no, no, no. My dad just throws his stuff down. I don't know who you are. Go move your goddamn car to my driveway. That's rude. Jesus Christ. Jeez. Bro. Goes Right to my sister. He's not allowed in the house anymore. Sure enough, you just an dad. They get in the car and they speed off. That same guy tried to run me over with that. It was an electric. It was a blue El Camino, dark navy blue with like water splash. Light blue on the side all the way down. He tried to run me down once because my sister. Damn. Didn't like him anymore.
Brady
She's like the original Tigra and bunny.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Oh, she like. Well, she like. She liked the cars that went. She didn't care about. Boom. It had to be a different language. I like the cars. I go plakita. Also, it is my dad's 77th birthday today. Happy birthday to Dan. So in honor of Dan, everybody tuck your T shirts into your underpants, please. That's what he would want. 77. He's right now probably in Texas doing something weir with his farm animals. Not like he could be. He could be slopping, mucking a stable. He's doing something weird. But he's got his T shirt. Guaranteed T shirt is tucked into his underwear right now as we speak. And that's the thing he does. So if you're. If you're interested in tipping one out to Dan Holmberg this morning, tuck those T shirts right into the underpants and put a pair of work boots on before you put your pants on and walk around the house for God knows what reason. That's Dan Holmberg in a nutshell. Used to come out of the. Like, my friends would be over and he'd hear us. We'd go swimming or something. At night we train. You know, you're a little loud. Come out. T shirt, tighty whities. T shirt tucked in. And a pair of work boots, usually a handgun. And he'd come out. I heard noises out here. Toast. Dad. Shut up. Which one of you gotta get up in an hour. Move your cars. Sorry. Get out of my house. Oh, he was. He. He would lose his mind. Fine. But the T shirt tucked into the underwear, man, everybody noticed that. That's like a noticeable thing. What's your dead. Took his T shirt into. I don't know what he's doing. That's weird. Not normal. He's not normal. But he's 77 and completely normal now, which is weird. As he got. He went from being a weird old man in his 20s, 30s, and 40s into a normal dude in his 70s. He's completely normal now.
Brady
Like spring break.
John Holmberg
I don't know. He could be. Maybe he's not tucking his T shirt into his underwear anymore, but he used to. It was in his 30s. There were times to just ask my mom, like, what did you see in this? Like, what. What did you see in this guy? Like, he's just nuts. Your dad is a very handsome man. Like. Yeah, okay.
Brady
Besides that, though, works high stress.
John Holmberg
Yeah. He's just constantly stressed out. It seems like he must be. He's not rich. I don't know what. Like, what is. What is it about the guy with the T shirt tucked into his shorts that you think is. I find your father very attractive. And that's all you need to know. All right. Want to buy a vacuum? Yeah, it's weird, but Happy birthday, Dan. And just realize that everyone on the planet thinks it's weird to tuck your T shirt into your underpants. It's just strength. You don't do it, do you? You tuck your T shirt into underwear. I don't wear underwear. So it's, like, open. You don't either? No. Did your dad. No, he never did yours. It's a weird. Your dad's a boxer guy. I could tell. Like, your dad is that or.
Brady
No, he was tidy, white.
John Holmberg
Were they tight or were they.
Brady
No, loose.
John Holmberg
Loose ones. Yeah. I can picture your dead one that he didn't want.
Brady
Well, as he got.
John Holmberg
Ah, you do. He's a T shirt. Tucker. You tuck your teeth. Oh, we're talking about fathers. Oh, sorry. I was asking. Sorry Toledo got mad. We were talking about having a dad. Yeah. Back to your dad. Then we'll talk about my dad, which all our dads, not only around all the time, living great, long, long lives. I mean, it's a wonderful thing. Yeah.
Brady
He always, you know, didn't have a butt. Didn't have, you know, chicken legs.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady
Those things were just baggy.
John Holmberg
He's just hanging on the guy. Yeah, right. But never tucked a T shirt into it. It was very strange, you know, Only.
Brady
Sometimes you'd have to if you're wearing the oxford shirt that button down all the way.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady
To look formal.
Brett Vesley
Well, yeah, formal is a different.
John Holmberg
You'd tuck, but he would go.
Brady
I don't know if he would. What I didn't know is when he'd go to work, you know, wearing a jacket and tie.
John Holmberg
Yeah. But he would tuck into his underpants.
Brady
I don't think so.
John Holmberg
I don't think so. Can't be. I think my dad's the only one who does that.
Brett Vesley
I never heard about it before.
Brady
Like a military thing.
John Holmberg
They don't do that. Military guys don't tuck into their underwear. I think they do. They do. Yeah.
Brady
You want that shirt tight.
John Holmberg
That tightens your shirt.
Brady
It keeps it from. Yeah, full. It keeps it straight.
John Holmberg
It seems like you just get pee on the bottom of your shirt.
Brady
Well then you got. You're buying too long of a undershirt.
John Holmberg
Well, if you got to tuck it in, you're buying too long of an undershirt.
Brady
It's about 2 or 3 inches and you get a little space.
John Holmberg
I don't know about you Brady, but those two or three inches you're gonna get pee on it now.
Brady
I can't.
John Holmberg
I'm getting mine. I'm getting all the way to. I'm getting to worry about that. I pull up to the waistband. If I had a T shirt tucked in there, it would touch the tip. If I'm pointing straight up. I don't like going down. I'm gonna start wearing underwear and tucking in there and see what this is all about.
Brett Vesley
Hey Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett.
Byron
I sure do. It's MMP Guns Customs MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up.
Brett Vesley
Well, can you do this to my gun?
Byron
We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or. We already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no weight.
Brett Vesley
Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscustoms.com alright, HMS Podcast, time again.
HMS Podcast Announcer
To let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Well, just in case you haven't been paying attention or if you've been mia, we'll let you know that Frank Caliendo is going to be performing at the Desert Ridge Improv this Friday and Saturday night. So tune in. Frank's going going to be in with the guys all week long and just maybe we'll have tickets for you to go catch Frank live up north at Desert Ridge for the complete lineups. And for tickets go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com.
John Holmberg
And tempeimprov.com it's John Holmberg here from 98kupd and I've got Bodhi from newac unit.com this guy is flipping the h vac world upside down. Bodhi, tell them what you're doing.
Byron
We've cut out the traditional process so.
John Holmberg
You'Re not paying for sales commissions or showroom markups. Just go online, pick the brand name unit you want, and boom, we show you the real price with install right there, a 100% money back guarantee. And we only work with a plus rated licensed contractors to complete the installation. We're local, we're honest, and we're all about saving you money. Visit new acunit.com and see your price before you buy. New acunit.com no pressures, no surprises, just savings. Holmberg's morning sickness. The old man. I do it today though. Do it for Dan. Tuck into your underpants. It's a weird thing and I've never. Is it a military thing? You're looking it up.
Brett Vesley
I'm looking@classicfella.com.
John Holmberg
This guy says, my dad's far too similar to yours. All my friends known for being in his underwear. He didn't care. Was his goddamn house. And he was right, albeit it was awkward. I brought girls over. Oh, he pulled a gun on me. And he pulled a gun on me a hundred times. He wanted to shoot somebody so bad. My dad's dream was to kill an intruder. I think to this day his life isn't complete because he never got to shoot an intruder. If he was a make a wish guy, that would be his wish. I want to kill an intruder. I want to shoot. Someone was trying to steal my stuff. Me and my girlfriend Jackie.
Brady
Dad, camo paint. We were on his face in the.
John Holmberg
Oh, he. If he could have done it in time, he would have.
Brett Vesley
Soldiers think he didn't have any monks living next door.
John Holmberg
He just shot. So Jackie and I are standing in the driveway, which is nowhere near the front door or the house. But it's springtime, so the windows might be open. 1238, giving her a little kiss. She's gonna get in her car and leave. Even though I wanted her to come in. I think that was what the conversation was. No, everybody's asleep. Get in there, stuff things inside you lay on top of you for a couple minutes. So we're talking my dad. Suddenly my dog Brandy. No, that was mugs at the time. Mugsy comes shooting out Weimer in her. It sees us and then recognizes me. And just the whole body starts wagging. And my dad's. I don't know. Then all of a sudden you hear, get him. Get him. Which is his code. Like if you're an intruder and he's going outside to kill someone, which is illegal, by the way. Just got to wait for the person to get in the house. Comes out with a huge handgun. I think it was a.357, but it was just this long barreled, super dirty gun. Underwear, T shirt tucked into it, work boots and sunglasses. Why? I don't know, like tack glasses.
Brady
They're the yellow lens.
John Holmberg
Yes. And he had those. He put those on to get a better head shot on whoever the mother was out in his front yard, which was me. And I'm standing and I didn't know Jackie well at that time. We didn't have parental. We'd met parents, but it wasn't like she was like, early on, it's your best gal. Bring her on in. It wasn't that yet. It was just some broad. I was popping by every once in a while at this point. So I got hands around her. Who's out there? It's me, dad. What's your name? I'm like, oh, my God, he's gonna quiz me. It's John. How do you know.
Brett Vesley
You named me?
John Holmberg
It's me, Dan. All right. All right, guys making a lot of noise. I just whispered, come inside. That's it. Come inside. That was about as loud as we got. But he heard car doors and who I could kill an intruder. I think there's someone outside. I hope it's not the boy. And he'd go. He'd go outside. He pulled a gun on me. Countless amount of time times. Countless amount of times. His dream probably still remains to. He's talks about it. There's gonna be a civil war, you know. No, there's not. There's yet. And we're already down here. You got hundreds of acres of land in Texas. You sit alone. Who's coming to your place? Nobody. God damn it. I'll take him. All right, Ted Nugent, calm down. Nobody's gonna come try to steal your donkeys in.
Brady
The apocalypse sweeps the property every, every day.
John Holmberg
I think he wants land. Land. And he bought a big thing of land in Texas. So there's more opportunities to shoot someone. They were on my land. Like if he gets more and more land and somebody's on it, he has an excuse to shoot an intruder. It's his dream. So maybe for his birthday.
Brady
His wife's a spotter.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady
She's out there with a 15 mile an hour wind.
John Holmberg
He's got the gun. Two clicks left. He's about half mile downrange.
Brady
You just tell me when he steps on the property.
John Holmberg
Once he puts his foot over the bottom. Barbed wire. He's ours. So he wants that. Maybe one of these emailers. That's nuts. Could wander onto my dad's property and make two dreams come true. Don't say that. They'll. Don't fly down. Go do it. He's in. The hell's the name? Fredericksburg. Go down to Fredericksburg, Texas and look for Dan Holmberg. Take a step out of your cards. He probably owns the land. The dude's buying it all up. It's nuts. Well, if I buy more land, there was more chances to shoot a stranger.
Brady
Your son said you have some lemonade for us.
John Holmberg
What's your email address? Oh.com. yeah, he love. He'd love to shoot one of you. He would love to shoot. I had. I can't tell you the amount of times guns were pulled on me. I was just sitting there watching TV one night and I dropped a fork, went to pick it up and dropped the plate. I'm making a hell of a lot of noise and I remember picking it all up. Turn around and there's. There he is. T shirt tucked into the underwear. Handgun. What's going on? I dropped a plate. Sorry. You all right? I'm fine. Nobody's in here, right? We're good. Everything's fine. Go back to bed.
Brady
Go to bed.
John Holmberg
Check your daughter's room. But yeah, there's a. There's a team of Mexicans in there and. So you might hear them. Yeah, he never pulled guns on her and her. Or maybe. I don't know. Stuff. I don't know. I was usually up.
Brady
They got home at a reasonable hour.
John Holmberg
New Mexico. And your daughter, he was very. Yeah, they were very respectful. Dropping her off. Yeah, a few times she was late, but for the most part they would be like, I'm all done. Let's go home. It's only 9:30. We can do it again. Nah, your dad's crazy.
Brett Vesley
I'm spot at Home Depot in the morning.
John Holmberg
He wanted to shoot everybody. He had to get up at 3. I'm done hosing you, blondie. I'm going to drop you off with your crazy old man.
Brady
10Pm I start at the taco buggy.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I gotta go. The gay bar closes in a half hour. My dad will kill me if I don't get to the buggy. Okay. Maybe I can just get in the buggy with you. You could, I suppose. And blow me under the deep fryer. Okay. I never say no to that. Yeah, you could work at La Pinata and have less Mexican in you than my sister did through high school. That's A fact, anyway. Surprised my dad didn't shoot somebody there. He was close to that. He never pulled the gun on any of them. You know, it was just me. Pull the gun on me a lot. Never really threatened by it either. I was never scared of it because I knew. I don't even know. He just always had it.
Brady
Laughing.
John Holmberg
He couldn't wait to pull that gun. His dream was like. I'm sure he just got real excited. And boys in the hood. When Furious blasted at that dude and put a hole in the door. And he wouldn't have the talk like Furious and Trey did when he's like, you should have blasted him. No, that would have just been another brother killing another brother. My dad wouldn't have had that. We got him. Boy, look at him bleeding out nuts. Somebody said the Mormons tuck into their underpants, but that's magic underwear. That's different. That's. I don't think that counts as underwear. That's just an outfit. Unless the article I found here. And it's a single piece. If I remember right, Mormon underwear is like a jumpsuit.
Brady
I think they separate. I think it separates now.
John Holmberg
Wow. It's a whole article on classic fella. Should men really tuck their undershirts into underwear? Tucking undershirts into underwear. A study often overlooked aspect of men's attires. Proper layering of undergarments let their undershirt hang loose. However, tucking your undershirt into your underwear can have several benefits if you choose a streamlined silhouette. Maybe that's what my dad was going for. I'm sure he wanted to look good.
Brett Vesley
When he's blasting you.
John Holmberg
Yeah, when the cop showed. Yeah. Maybe no bunching or bulging. It may occur when the undershirt is left untucked. Also, visiting the men's room. Tucking becomes much easier with a second undershirt. Oh, a second under. Oh, secured. I'm sorry. Secured undershirt allowing only one piece to be tucked versus fumbling with two garments requiring tucking prevent your undershirt from riding up. Well, I guess there's a whole bunch of benefits my dad figured out with Enhances layering the classic fella ensuring each garment lies flat. Whether you're wearing a dress shirt or. Ah, it just seems so uncomfortable to tuck into your underwear. But what are you gonna do? Happy birthday, Dan. I hope you get to kill that weirdo. Hopefully somebody wanders onto your property today and you and your friend hi Yella. Can go out there and shoot someone. And by the way, he still won't admit that's a racial. That's right. Hi, Yellow.
Brett Vesley
I was thinking of Yellow Hand.
John Holmberg
No, I worked with Yellow Hand. Hi Yellow is my dad's farmhand who introduces himself as High Yellow. And I had to look that up. And hi Yella is a slur. And everyone calls him hi Yella is worse than. It's so bad. We'll get High Yellow to do it. Like, can you just call him like, Trent or David? What's his name? His name is High Yellow. Oh, Christ, don't say that in public.
Brett Vesley
He probably doesn't know his real name.
John Holmberg
I bet she doesn't. Hi, Yellen. I helped a donkey, all right? Quit saying hi, Yellow. And then I told him what it was and he goes, I know. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, no, I figured that out later. He doesn't care. Like, well, you should. That's not good. You're. You're borderline gonna get canceled doing that. And I don't care about that either. He asked me to call him High Yellow, and I respect that. I had to. I thought I knew them all. I thought Brett knew them all. On I yell it and it's really a slur between dark skinned blacks and lighter skinned blacks. They call them High Yellow. I got to take notes. I didn't.
Brady
An Asian thing.
John Holmberg
No, that's what you'd think. That's what I would have thought. Yeah. And I just. It's just his name. And it's hard because you want to say something like, please stop it. You're making. You're putting me in a bad spot here. It's like singing Drake lyrics out loud. I can't do it. But hi. Lifting donkeys and pushing horses. He's a big dude too. You don't want to piss Hyla off. I don't know if Haella is 35 or 104. I think he's just my dad's super creation that will never die is Green Mile. Cuz sometimes he, like, you see pictures or videos of them doing something. Hi. Ella's walking around like 108 year old man, but he's just gargantuan. It's like Tom Robinson from To Kill a Mockingbird. He's like, does he have polio? Why does he move like that? And then. And then he. Then he'll start jogging. You're like, oh, he could be an Olympian. I don't know. He's either 35 or he's 180, but he's called that. My dad's farm. Hi yell. And I built some barn stuff today. Stop it. And then he sends me A picture. And the two of them put together the most beautiful eight stable barn I've ever seen in my life.
Brady
In a week, there's probably 18 structures on that property.
John Holmberg
All they do is build fence. Another project got a fence around the vineyard. Are you running a vineyard? Yeah, that. What are you doing? Got an eight foot fence around 50 acres to keep the deers away from the grapes. Like, what is going on down?
Brady
Do you have that high yellow chardonnay yet?
John Holmberg
Hi, yellow. Take this in, Brady. High yellow. Harvested the whole goddamn vineyard in a day. That's 50 acres. Link in a day. Is he alive? Yeah. Hi, yellow. Don't sleep. It's got sniper towers built and everything over there. It's insane. Oh, I'm sure he's got a. A. A predator blind. He slept with a donkey. Not like that. It was. He has a donkey that he like, really liked. It was. It was his buddy and it got sick.
Brady
Arnold Schwarzenegger and his donkey.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Yeah. He got. He was buddies with this donkey and the donkey got ill and fell. And he couldn't find him. And he was out in the field and they'd have found him and stayed out there with him in case. So coyotes didn't kill him or wolves or whatever. So I'm like, well, why wouldn't they kill you? You're an old man, man. I got my gun. Oh, so that's what you're. You've resorted now to just like animal. Animal predators that may come in and try to steal the things.
Brady
Little fire, maybe build a little fire.
John Holmberg
Leaving bait all over. So he and hi Ella picked up this giant donkey and stuffed it in an F150 and stayed out in the field for a day. Nick. You and hi Yella getting a little broke back, Aren't you a good friend? Okay, Andy Dufresne, calm down. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.
Brett Vesley
Hey, Byron. I was looking@mmpguns.com's website. You have everything, and the prices are incredible.
Byron
Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys, and more. The best part is, if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.
Brett Vesley
Wait, there's no backorders?
Byron
Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state. We can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.
Brett Vesley
Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP. Guns.com it's John Holberg here from the.
John Holmberg
Morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and doughopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this, though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house house cash. As is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1, 800, now it's John Holberg and Brett Vesley from the Morning Sickness coming at you. For our pals at Action Ride Shop.
Brett Vesley
It'S summertime, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the outdoors here in Arizona. You just have to be smart about it.
John Holmberg
That's a fact. Bert. Action Ride Shop is step one in the smart department. They've got awesome deals on all their E bikes right now.
Brett Vesley
They also have specials on their mountain bikes and neighborhood commuters.
John Holmberg
And just because it's hot out doesn't mean you can' Grab a light and ride the glorious Arizona trails with an awesome setup from Outbound lighting and Knight Rider.
Brett Vesley
Get to Action Ride Shop on the 60 and Gilbert or their new location on McDowell and Power. ActionRideshop.com.
Date: August 28, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesley, Dick Toledo
This episode is a laughter-filled conversation centered on "dad rules"—from strange rituals like tucking shirts into underwear to no-nonsense approaches to life, personal boundaries, and, hilariously, a penchant for brandishing (but not using) firearms to protect the homestead. The crew shares family stories, listener etiquette gripes, and nostalgic reflections on old-school ways—anchored by a particularly colorful celebration of John Holmberg’s father on his 77th birthday.
The episode brims with irreverence, self-effacing humor, affectionate ribbing, and sharp, observational comedy about family, etiquette, and the idiosyncrasies of manhood across generations.
This episode is a perfect showcase of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness: sharp, relatable, and very funny navigation of everyday weirdness, blending personal stories, listener interactions, and off-the-cuff social commentary. From family nostalgia to poking fun at both listeners and themselves, the crew keeps things moving with energy and affection.
If you haven’t listened, you’ll come away with a vivid picture of a Type-A dad in his underwear, email etiquette lessons you didn’t know you needed, and stories that leave you laughing—and maybe a little grateful for your own family’s quirks.