Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show

Episode: 08-29-25 – FULL SHOW – FRIDAY
Date: August 29, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Podcast: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio

Episode Overview

This Friday’s episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness delivers a characteristically wild, irreverent, and darkly hilarious take on Arizona’s local news, weird history, personal listener stories, relationship scandals, and signature riffing among the hosts. The episode veers from crowd-pleasing absurdity—like the “Ugly Law” of early America—to deeply personal and awkward listener drama, all delivered with the show's tag-team banter. Classic segments include off-the-rails science news, entertainment headlines, and the “Guadalupe Squares” with a guest turn by Brady doing impressions.

Key Discussion Points & Segments

[03:49] Absurd History: America’s Ugly Law

Theme: The bizarre “ugly laws” that once banned people with disabilities or unattractive features from public spaces.

• John recounts a real historical law—nicknamed “the ugly law”—which banned “unsavory-looking” people from public for “health reasons.”
• Banter about how societal standards of beauty and ignorance about disease fueled these laws.
  • John: “Back then they didn’t know about germs … There weren’t soaps. Women’s hygiene wasn’t invented ‘til the mid-30s. They just stuffed socks and potato sacks in there.”
• Improv sketches: The crew act out old Irish cops enforcing the ugly law; talk about how radio would’ve been the only job for “ugly” people.
• Impacts: John brings up how the law affected disabled street vendors, and famous historical figures (FDR, Rocky Dennis).
• Memorable segues: Jokes about “Noseboy,” circus sideshows, and 1930s feminine hygiene.
  • [08:40] John: “What can he smell? You’re menstruating. He’s a heretic! He banged the Noseboy!”
• Punchline: Speculation that “ugly laws” morphed into today's social prejudices.

[21:59] Recurring Listener Saga: Gary, the Brain Tumor, and the Cheating Wife

Theme: An update on the ongoing saga of “Gary”—a listener diagnosed with a brain tumor who discovered his wife’s affair.

• Background: Gary recently found photos proving his wife was cheating with their neighbor—who had also heroically driven Gary to the hospital after a dizzy spell related to his tumor.
• The story escalates: Holmberg reads Gary’s emails describing how the cheating neighbor apologized and explained how he was actually waiting for Gary’s wife, not to help Gary.
• [24:42] John: “If it wasn’t for your wife constantly blowing the neighbor, dude would have been in his house ... while you wandered into traffic. Whoring saves lives.”
• Extensive riffing: The hosts joke about sad silver linings ("at least you lived"), proper etiquette for cheating neighbors, and brainstorm podcast ideas like “Whose Mouth Was That?” and "Gary & Matt."
• [28:36] Advice to cheaters: “Delete the pictures of you eating wang in your phone, like, immediately!”
• Listeners email in character, escalating the saga with jokes about “GoFundMe” accounts vs “Go F Me” accounts, and brainstorm titles for Gary’s story.
• Ongoing engagement: The crew encourage Gary to keep updating and consider pitching the saga as a podcast or radio reality show.

[39:30] Other Listener Letters: Voyeur Stories and Neighborhood Nudity

• A father’s “confession” about his teenage son pleasuring himself while watching the neighbor’s naked daughter in the pool.
  • The dad admits he "almost joined in," sparking jokes about suburban voyeurism and boundary-setting.
• Advice and mockery: The hosts advise not to confront neighbors and enjoy the “show” while summer lasts, unless photographic evidence warrants police action.
• [61:04] John recounts: “My buddy…[said] the neighbor’s daughter and her boyfriend just cut down all the trees. He sent me pictures. I might get no work done at all.”

[64:45] The Brady Report: Fun Facts, Dumbest Historical Moves, and Science News

• Quick Facts:
  • [65:18] Vancouver’s Stanley Park is 10% larger than Central Park (“They gave them…squirrels. That is the most ignorant thing…”)
  • The first recorded “tailgate” was at the battle of Bull Run, 1861.
• Science News (73:53):
  • Black rings in the Virginia sky spark UFO panic; more likely smoke rings.
  • Excessive caffeine and energy drink use linked to heart damage.
  • Super roaches—cockroaches adapting to pesticides.
  • NASA’s proposal for a “hover train on the moon” (and the panel's skepticism).
  • “ChatGPT doesn’t pose a serious threat to society—yet!” (Mocking tone: “That’s what ChatGPT would tell you!” [75:09])
  • Gel developed that can prevent you from getting drunk (crew jokes about the dangers and consequences).

[92:00] “Slur of Passion” Segment: Sports, Insults, and Outrage

Theme: The suspension of a Boston Red Sox player for using a homophobic slur at a heckling fan.

• John proposes nuance in how society responds to slurs said “in the heat of the moment”—suggesting a “slur of passion” category (like “crime of passion” in law).
  • [93:41] John: “When will we have a slur of passion? Forgiveness of the slur of passion. It wasn’t premeditated.”
• The hosts lambast the “outrage industrial complex,” especially in Boston, ribbing the hypocrisy of suspensions, and the way Boston fans use slurs as a form of greeting.
• “Everybody needs a word” riff—how groups turn slurs into community identifiers, referencing racial and LGBTQ terms.
  • [96:31] John: “Boston is the home of the slur. The original House of Slur is Boston, Massachusetts.”
• Broadening out, they play out scenarios where if car rage was monitored (“slur of passion insurance tax”), most people would be penniless and permanently suspended.
• [111:51] John: “That is the crime of passion. That is...the slur of passion. It needs to be called that.”
• The cast riffs about how everyone, in private, says outrageous things, especially in traffic.

[122:59] Entertainment & Pop Culture Stories

• Heated discussion of local ad campaigns—obsessing over the plot (or lack thereof) in a commercial featuring “Tasha and the genie.”
  • [124:14] John: “I can’t tear myself away. I’m in on Tasha and the genie...You’ve hypnotized me...”
• Jennifer Lopez’s vast “engagement ring collection” from multiple exes (tabulated and ranked).
• Top actors who fizzled after an initial “next big thing” splash (Taylor Lautner, Liam Hemsworth, Shailene Woodley, etc.).
• Ted Lasso Season 4 announced; hosts bemoan how the last season “sucked so bad.”

[135:01] The Bradalupe Squares (Guadalupe Squares Special)

• Brady, usually not the impressionist, hosts and performs a gauntlet of celebrity impressions, including:
  • Joe Biden, Fat Elvis, Hulk Hogan, Donald Trump, Transparent Brady (a joke on transparency), “Lil Sebastian Maniscalco,” Kamala Harris, and Tripp Rabe.
• Banter ensues as John critiques/improvises alongside Brady’s attempts, with frequent callbacks to bits from the rest of the show.
• The “game” meanders, focusing less on correct answers and more on riffing and lampooning.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On America’s ugly laws:
  John (03:49): “I would never be in a restaurant in my life. To radio—like radio wasn’t even invented yet—I’d have just had to…Doordash didn’t exist, so I’d have to do takeout constantly in like a mask.”
• On Gary’s saga:
  John (24:42): "If it wasn’t for your wife constantly blowing the neighbor…you might be dead today, right?” Brett (28:44): “Did the guy apologizing say he was ever going to stop? Or at least, at the very least, wait for Gary’s tumor to finish the job before he goes back for his next blowy?”
• On modern outrage:
  John (93:41): “When will we have a slur of passion? [...] Bad words hurt people’s feelings. I should be above it. I’m not. None of us are.” John (96:31): “Boston is the home of the slur. The original House of Slur is Boston, Massachusetts.”
• Realism on relationships:
  John (48:02): “She’s got a ‘Go F Me’ account and evidently it’s been open for a while.”
• Science segment satire:
  Brady (75:06): “That’s what ChatGPT would tell you!”
  John (80:16): “We’re soon gonna have a nuclear expert on the show—bring out the best baby, bring out the Hellman’s!”
• Brady’s impressions:
  (various, [135:01] onward) – “Joe Biden,” “Fat Elvis,” “Lil Sebastian Maniscalco,” and more.
• On voyeur neighbors:
  John (61:04): “My buddy… said the neighbor’s daughter and her boyfriend just cut down all the trees. He sent me pictures. I can’t get any work done at all.”

Timestamps for Memorable Segments

• 03:49 – Absurd U.S. Ugly Laws Segment
• 21:59 – Gary’s Cheating Wife/Brain Tumor Saga
• 39:30 – Listener Letter: The Voyeur Son and Naked Neighbor
• 64:45 – The Brady Report and Science News Segment
• 73:53 – Science: Super Roaches, Hovertrains and Mayonnaise Power
• 92:00 – “Slur of Passion”/Boston Red Sox Outrage Discourse
• 122:59 – Wild Ad Campaign Banter & Entertainment Drill
• 135:01 – The Bradalupe Squares (Brady’s Impressions)

Tone & Style

Unfiltered, dark, and playfully offensive. The hosts riff openly about life’s ugliest realities, history’s oddities, and listeners’ misfortunes—mixing improv, sarcasm, compassionate advice, and relentless mockery.

Takeaway

This episode is a masterclass in comedic radio chaos. Whether it’s riffing on obsolete “ugly laws,” dissecting modern outrage culture, wading into wild listener confessions, or failing (gleefully) at impressions in The Guadalupe Squares, the Morning Sickness team embraces the messy, raunchy, and painfully real—always with Arizona flavor.

Missed the episode? With this summary, you’ll know all the wildest stories, darkest jokes, and signature riffing that make Holmberg's show a Phoenix institution.