08-29-25 - Gary w/The Inoperable Brain Tumor Has Given A New Update That He Found Out One Of The Guys His Wife's Boning Lives Two Houses Down BO

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode Summary: The Saga of Gary – Betrayal, Black Comedy, and Neighborhood Drama

Airdate: August 29, 2025
Key Participants:

• John Holmberg (Host)
• Brady Bogen
• Brett Vesely
• Dick Toledo (briefly referenced)

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Overview

This episode centers around "Gary," a regular listener with an inoperable brain tumor whose personal life has devolved into a remarkable saga of infidelity, neighborly betrayal, and emails to the show. The hosts provide biting, darkly comic commentary as new, shocking details emerge—most notably that one of the men Gary’s wife has been involved with is a neighbor who lives only two houses away. The segment stays true to the show's irreverent tone: it’s unfiltered, often crude, but always maintains a thread of gallows humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Gary’s Latest Update: Neighborly Betrayal Revealed

• [01:45 – 03:53]
  • Brett recaps Gary’s ongoing saga: After taking advice spurred on by a similar listener (ALS Matt), Gary searched his wife’s phone, discovering she was sexting with three different men (including explicit photos involving “devouring”).
  • The plot thickens: One of the men, after being warned that “drama was unfolding on the show,” apologizes directly to Gary—and turns out to be the neighbor who lives two houses down. Surreal twist: This same neighbor previously took Gary to the hospital during a medical episode.
• [03:53 – 04:59]
  • Discussion about the timeline: The affair seems to have been ongoing well before or concurrent with Gary’s diagnosis. The hosts darkly joke that if the neighbor hadn’t been outside hoping for a rendezvous, Gary might not have gotten urgent medical assistance.

“So, I mean, if it wasn’t for your wife constantly blowing the neighbor, that dude would have been in his house minding his own business while you wandered off into traffic.”
– Brett [04:14]

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2. Cold Comfort and Dark Humor

• [05:30 – 06:21]
  • The hosts riff on what might be the “silver lining” for Gary—his wife’s affair inadvertently helping him get medical help.
  • Jokes escalate about “whoring saving lives” and the bizarre morality of the situation.
  • John and Brett plead for more updates, recognizing the ongoing “soap opera” quality (“As the Gary Turns”).

“Let’s celebrate the fact that whoring saves lives. And in this case, God knows what would happen to Gary.”
– Brett [05:33]

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3. Speculation on the Affair Timeline

• [07:15 – 07:46]
  • The hosts speculate whether the infidelity started before Gary’s diagnosis. They suggest there’s little chance it only started after Gary got sick—his wife seems very practiced.
  • Brady notes, “You don’t just find out your husband’s got a brain tumor and go knock on the neighbor’s door,” punctuating the group’s consensus.

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4. Advice for Cheaters & Further Satire

• [07:46 – 08:15]
  • Practical (“horrible”) advice from the hosts: If you’re cheating and your spouse gets deathly ill, for God’s sake, delete your incriminating photos.
  • Brett, tongue-in-cheek: “Why do you have that [photo]? Because it’s beautiful. Sometimes, Brady, it’s art.”

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5. Making Light of Tragedy and Possible “Curses”

• [08:15 – 09:18]
  • The segment explores the possibility that maybe Gary’s wife is a “cancer succubus,” and the act itself brings some cosmic, dark justice.

“Maybe it’s your wife’s mouth that causes brain cancer and she’s getting it. You know, you got the worst of it. But now your neighbor’s going to have it.”
– Brett [08:43]

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6. Brainstorming Spin-offs: Reality Shows & “Whose Mouth Was That?”

• [10:57 – 12:03]
  • Audience suggestions for call-backs to old show bits merge with brainstorming on possible reality shows (“Gary and Matt: True Life with the Ghouls”, “Whose Mouth Was That?”).
  • The crew facetiously discusses bringing Gary, his wife, and the neighbor on air for a “very special” episode.

“That’s right, his wife is giving new meaning to giving dudes brain. She’s brainin’ guys like crazy. And maybe she’s some sort of a cancer succubus.”
– Brett [11:07]

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7. Neighborhood Signals

• [17:18 – 18:22]
  • The team jokes about how the neighbor and Gary’s wife may have signaled each other (windows, smoke signals, garage door routines), poking fun at both white trash and suburbia stereotypes.

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8. Listeners’ Interactions and Feedback

• The show reads in listener emails suggesting things like GoFundMe for Gary (“his wife has a Go F Me account, and evidently it's been open for a while.” – Brett [24:44]), keeping the running gag going.
• Several listeners encourage the podcast or TV show idea—“Whose Mouth Is That?” earning particular praise for both potential and as a podcast title.

“Whose mouth was that? I’ll just pretend to be Keith Morrison the whole time.”
– Brett [19:20]

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9. The “Gary’s Wife” White Trash Character

• [28:03 – 38:17]
  • The last stretch of the segment is occupied by elaborate, recurring jokes where Brady and Brett roleplay “Gary’s wife” as a trashy, crass, Southern stereotype, further lampooning the situation—replete with jokes about Confederate flags, potato salad, and “cleaning up with my stars and bars.”
  • They debate what kind of neighborhood Gary really lives in and have fun at the expense of various socioeconomic stereotypes.

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10. Final Reflections and Offers

• Offers of concert tickets (Creed vs. 311) as ironic sympathy for Gary, with recommendations that he not leave his wife alone if he attends.
• Continued macabre humor: “Let’s just hope that thing gets real aggressive. Kind of like your wife around a dick.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [04:14] Brett (on Gary's wife’s infidelity):
  “If it wasn’t for your wife constantly blowing the neighbor, that dude would have been in his house minding his own business while you wandered off into traffic.”

• [05:33] Brett:
  “Let’s celebrate the fact that whoring saves lives.”

• [08:43] Brett:
  “Maybe it’s your wife’s mouth that causes brain cancer and she’s giving it … his ultimate punishment will be her mouth gives people brain tumors.”

• [11:07] Brett:
  “That’s right, his wife is giving new meaning to giving dudes brain.”

• [19:20] Brett:
  “Whose mouth was that? I’ll just pretend to be Keith Morrison the whole time...”

• [24:46] Brett:
  “How about a GoFundMe for Gary? We'll raise some money for him. You know what though? Those inoperable brain tumors are just really throwing bad money after good.”

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Important Timestamps

• [01:45] — Start of Gary’s update and neighbor revelation
• [03:53] — Timeline & “silver lining” discussion
• [07:15] — Was infidelity pre-existing?
• [10:57] — Callback bits, reality show ideas
• [19:18] — “Whose mouth was that?” podcast concept
• [24:44] — Listener feedback, GoFundMe for Gary
• [28:03–38:17] — Roleplaying and neighborhood satire
• [36:21] — Offer of concert tickets and final jokes

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Tone and Style

• Highly irreverent, gallows humor: The hosts are unfiltered, with jokes that range from darkly comic to outright crude, but with a running current of empathy for Gary’s plight.
• Interactive: Reading, riffing on, and integrating real listener emails and suggestions.
• Satirical and self-aware: The show continually lampoons its own segments and sensibilities, aware of the absurdity and real pain in Gary’s story.

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Bottom Line

This installment of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness showcases the crew’s unique approach to listener interactions: turning jaw-dropping real-life stories into comedic set pieces while never losing sight of the underlying tragedy. The episode is a wild ride—by turns outrageous, bleakly funny, and genuinely compelling, with Gary’s predicament serving as both soap opera and dark cautionary tale. If you’re a fan of candid, boundary-pushing radio, you’ll find it peak HMS.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brett]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Byron]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Byron]

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[Brett]

I'm Maddie Akupd. Now one person that can't peel themselves out of the mess is the theme for the week. Gary who is emailed again. Again Gary's Gary's story is unfolding based and it's us boys. We did this. This is us and ALS Matt's fault. One week ago Friday we met ALS Matt and sparked the mind of brain tumor Gary to go through his wife's. His wife's phone on Monday. And when he did it, he found three dudes have been talking to her in a picture of one with his pee pee being devoured. And yeah, as he says in this next email, devoured by his wife. So things have started to unfold. Then wife gets tipped off by somebody that we're talking about. Gary, the brain tumored guy. How many of those are there that are going through this? Tells the wife, hey, I know what's going on here. We think we have assessed that it's probably one of the dudes that she's bone and said, oh. So then he emails back, said, hey, Holberg, insult to my brain injury. The one guy whose penis was being, like I said, devoured by my wife in that picture has come forward. He evidently got tipped off by a friend that this drama was unfolding on your show. So the guy text me and said, gary, I need to apologize. He and my wife are doing that. He that me and your wife are doing what we were doing. He goes on, ready for this dude lives two houses down, and he was the guy who took me to the hospital when I first felt bad. After my diagnosis, I got diagnosed with the brain tumor and had some trouble one day and started to walk around in the front yard, and there he was. Happened to be standing by my driveway, saw me staggering around, and offered me a ride to a hospital. He confessed that he was at the time, in fact, looking for my wife to come down the street to signal her that he was alone in his house. When he saw me, he pretended to be my savior, actually bought that son of a bitch a bottle of tequila, and me and the wife went over to his house to thank him for being a good neighbor. Boy, he's that. Indeed, he has been. Full service, back to treatment. Signed Gary. Wow. Wow.

[Brady]

So that was going on before everything?

[Brett]

No, he had been diagnosed and he wandered outside in a little fugue state. The guy happened to be standing there. Now, Gary, gonna give you a little silver lining. Your wife wasn't being a. That guy wouldn't have been standing out there. He might be dead today, right?

[Brady]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

So, I mean, if it wasn't for your wife constantly blowing the neighbor, that dude would have been in his house minding his own business while you wandered off into traffic.

[John Holmberg]

Boy, what a lucky guy.

[Brett]

What a lucky man Gary is.

[Brady]

Tell you, he just doesn't want to go any further with his wife, just wants to bang her. Because if he would have wanted to.

[Brett]

Be with her, from the sounds he would have left him Sounds of that email Brady. He had to wait until his house was empty too. That's when you go down and you signal the lady for coming home. I'm alone. He was getting her on the thing. So evidently they had been texting or something back and forth. And if I'm standing in front of the house, then you can walk right in, drive by your place, put it in wherever you got to put it, and then I'll put it wherever I got to put it. But I don't know what Gary did, though.

[John Holmberg]

Like, did he thank him for being there or.

[Brett]

That's what he said. He bought him a bottom of tequila.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, I mean, like after finding out or to go over there and beat his ass or what?

[Brett]

That's a good question. What do you do as much power behind that? Well, we don't know that. Let's not. I don't say either. He's staggering around, a little dizzy. Pre meds. When he's getting his meds right, he's having some trouble with balance. And dude standing outside, wife was gonna blow him. Gary comes tumbling out of the house, a little bit dizzy, like, oh, I gotta. Gotta get to the doctor real quick.

[John Holmberg]

I'd call Marcellus Wallace and send over some hard pipe hidden.

[Brett]

But again, let's, let's. Let's celebrate the fact that whoring saves lives. And in this case, God knows what would happen to Gary. And if it was just 10 or 15 minutes later, wife would have seen the neighbor outside, concocted some strange story, and they'd have both been in the throes of blowjobs while Gary's wandering around with nobody to help him.

[John Holmberg]

Concocted being the main word.

[Brett]

There's. There's a part of that word that actually applies beautifully. So, Gary, I'm gonna tell you right now, find the bright side of this. You got a lot of downside. When I read that email, the first thing I thought was, well, whore wife actually kind of saved your life that day or maybe even, you know, and it all is unraveling. Gary, I don't think I want any more emails from you. I'm starting to get to be we're almost an accomplice in this thing at this point.

[John Holmberg]

I want to know what happened.

[Brett]

I want to know Gary did as the Gary turns. Yes. All right, Gary, email back. Brett's not done with you yet. Email Brett, for God's sakes, email Brett about what you did afterwards. I don't think he did anything. I think he just probably. Dude, Gary has been. Somehow or another, he took over the. The Matt Als story as the saddest story I've ever heard of. Matt just. I mean, Matt bringing in the kids this week was a little bit rough, but Gary versus Matt, and I'm with that guy. That said they need to have a podcast. Suddenly I'm all in on that. The Gary and Matt podcast needs to occur. Gary, if you're up for it, I know you don't want to leave your house too long because your wife will go nuts, so you got to keep your eyes on her. But if you want to bring her along as, like, a producer too, so probably blow. Matt sounds like she's at. Actually, Gary, bring your wife down to the station. Let's take a look at this. She's in high demand, and in eight months, she's available. So let's just make sure you think.

[Brady]

It was going on before the diagnosis.

[Brett]

Probably sounds a little bit comfortable.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah, that. That one seems like she's not just. Yeah, you don't just find out your husband's got a brain tumor and go knock on the neighbor's door. Neighbors are available.

[John Holmberg]

And so is Gary's wife.

[Brett]

And so there. There goes my theory that she was just so sad that she had this drug and alcohol kind of outlet with sex. She was just being a whore before, and then so happened while she was being a whore.

[Brady]

Oh, this looks worse.

[Brett]

Now. What do I do? Well, the first thing you should do, man or woman, if you're being a whore and your spouse gets stuck with a. Gets. Gets, you know, jammed up with a brain tumor. Delete the pictures of you eaten wang in your phone, like, immediately. Yeah, you know, I mean, cut it off.

[Brady]

Why do you have that?

[Brett]

Well, you know, why do you have that? Because it's beautiful. Sometimes, Brady, it's art. That's why you have that.

[Brady]

Especially if it's a look alike.

[Brett]

He's a little lazy. And then your. Your story of the look alike was terrible. It's pretty impressive, though, that she's come up with those so quickly. But poor Gary, two houses down and this one says, did the guy apologizing say he was ever going to stop? Or at least at the very least, wait for Gary's tumor to finish the job before he goes back for his next blowy. That would be the decent thing to do and include that in the letter. Gary, I want to apologize to you. My conscience has gotten to me. I'm sorry for what your wife and I have been doing. In eight months, I'm gonna Knock on her door and I'm gonna start courting her again once you're in the ground. But now I'm gonna let you die in front of her without one time Krispy Kreme in her face. It's just wrong to do, and I apologize, Gary. Hey, here's another bright side, Gary. Maybe it's your wife's mouth that causes brain cancer and she's getting it. You know, you got the worst of it. But now your neighbor's going to have it. And those other two dudes. Maybe she's just passing along. His ultimate punishment will be her mouth gives people brain tumors. That would be nice. Anyway, good luck, Gary.

[John Holmberg]

The neighbor brings him a bottle of tequila now.

[Brett]

Yeah, Don Julio.

[John Holmberg]

Some Don Fellatio.

[Brett]

You know what I mean? Something. Don Fellatio. That's the greatest Godfather character I've ever heard. Don Fellatio. What are you doing? Get up off your knees. Act like a man. Why is Don Fellatio down here anyway? What is he doing? Godfather, Don Fellatio would like to talk to you a little bit about something. He's gotten himself wrapped up in it. You don't go after a guy with a brain tumor's wife, Don Fellatio. But I'm Don Fellatio. I can't help myself. I love the fellatio. That's why you're naming me this. We should have given him a name like Don. Calm down. He. Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Brady]

Cooney Lingus.

[Brett]

You're a good earner. Yeah, it's a. It's weird. This one. This one says, can we bring back the time call outs? Remember, it's 552, Larry hates fat chicks kind of thing. Kara hates the blacks. Gary's wife is a. Can we just bring that back? Yeah, we used to do that a lot when that Carol lady was yelling and screaming about black people because she was dating one and mad at me for something and I don't know what. What she was doing. And. And then she said. And then that she was the one who called Larry thinking he said it and screamed at him the whole time. And then so, you know, saying that he hated fat ladies. And it was me that said it, but she was like, Larry McFeely. I've been listening. She yelled at him. So Larry hates fat chicks, Cara hates the blacks, and Gary's wife's a. Well, we'll go Back to that. 5:55 in the morning, about 78 degree beautiful morning. Not always a reminder. Larry hates fat chicks, Gary hates the blacks, and Gary's Whites a whore. Gary's neighbor's an asshole. I mean, we could go. The whole show would be just calling out every.

[Brady]

Just another great bit for the Shame Network.

[Brett]

Yeah, the Shame Network has. That's our reality show is Gary and Matt's. And how much is go. How much of that is going on?

[John Holmberg]

Hubbard's always looking for new podcasts to throw on.

[Brett]

We got one right here, right now. If our sales staff could sell, would be an unbelievable thing to put together. I mean, it's not worth your time right now. You're just going to hear all about, like, how they can't get any money out of it. But if you got a good podcast going, I should. That's a podcast. I might just Oprah Winfrey Network. Start me talking to you people about your lunacy. Get Gary down here. Matt's no good on the air, but his friend is. I just hear about your stories and just sit down and just go, you know, true life with the ghouls, we would call it. And man, oh, man, you people have got some stuff going on. And that's right, his wife is giving new meaning to given dudes brain. That's right. They're brain. She's brain. And guys like crazy. And maybe she's some sort of a cancer succubus. Poor brain tumor Gary.

[John Holmberg]

So Michael wants to know.

[Brady]

He's.

[John Holmberg]

He's heard about Don Fellatio over there, but what about the other two? Does he know anything about them?

[Brett]

It didn't say. Okay, I'm sure. I'm sure he's piecing his life together one email to me at a time. But he did get. I mean, maybe he does know, and those two guys were just like some nobodies. But the dude that took him to the hospital to help him out, who was standing outside half hard, waiting for his wife to blow him again. And then there comes Gary. That's my dad. What's wrong with you, man? I got a brain tumor. You do? You do? Jesus Christ. This makes everything I'm doing 10 times worse. Can I. Can I give you a ride to the hospital? Why were you in my driveway? I don't know. I heard some noises, I guess. I don't know.

[Brady]

The neighbor texts her and says, I took Magoo to the hospital for you.

[Brett]

Looks like we're gonna have the whole night to ourselves now. I just dropped off your old man at the hospital. He doesn't look good. Oh, boy. Don't worry.

[John Holmberg]

I'll give her a ride to the hospital.

[Brett]

You know what? I'll go Back and pick up your wife. We'll be back here in a couple hours. Why it takes so long? Hey. Paperwork okay? Pretty much. Tell Gary at that point, anything. He's worried about his own head. So anyway.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Byron, I was [e-mail]'s website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.

[Byron]

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys, and more. The best part is, if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, there's no backup orders?

[Byron]

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP. Guns.com It's John Holberg here from the.

[Brett]

Morning Sickness for Life. Changerloan.com A guy I know is going through a divorce, which stinks for him. He's trying to figure out how much it's going to take to pay off the future ex wife. You got bills you want to consolidate. You got some stuff you want to take care of, Go ahead and do it. Or if you're just really good with money and you want to get out of that mortgage as fast as possible, Life Changer Loan is the way to do it. Average Customer saves about 250,000 in interest. House is paid off in about five years. Life changer Loan. It's not magic, it's just math. Lifechangerloan.com It's John Holmberg here for turfmonstersaz.com if that yard of yours doesn't look great all of the time, if it is work all of the time, it does not have to be. Turf Monsters can come to your house and make your yard a beautiful showcase place for you, your family, your pets. Yeah, it's pet friendly as well. Anything you can dream up in that backyard, they can do. Tell them Homeburg sent you. Get 10% off turf monsters. A dot comberg's morning sickness. Boy, Gary. I mean, again, I remind you. And he's probably apologizing because he heard me say you got a dude with a brain tumor. It's inoperable. He's emailing it. He's not long for the planet. He's got nothing to lose now. He knows exactly who and where you are. He's a dangerous sort, that Gary right now. If his. If his body works, and I don't know what kind of physical condition Gary's in.

[John Holmberg]

We got Robert Fiser, part two, possibly here.

[Brett]

Only just going to walk to the hospital. I did this.

[John Holmberg]

Except eventually we'll find Gary again.

[Brett]

When a life sentence in jail isn't even two seasons. Don't mess with that guy. Says from the sounds of it, the other dude's married. I'd be snitching to his wife. Kids, dog, fish. Everyone's gonna know. Only seven more months of awkward neighbors, Gary. Well, you cut off a month from my diagnosis of 8. And what do you get? I mean, aside from that? What do you get your neighbor who drives you to the hospital when your brain doesn't work? Bottle of tequila is nice. Get some tequila and a little pop over and just go, hey. Meds were off. I was. I was in a state. I was wandering about.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the wife probably wants to thank him too. A little back door.

[Brett]

And then there's probably something that happened there while Gary was sitting. Where's your restroom? Oh, it's right down the hall. Like you don't know. You go head down there. I'll. I'll walk you to it. Walk my wife to the restroom, please. You got it, Gary. Just have another glass of tequila. I'm sure that's good. Doctor said I shouldn't drink. Why? What can happen?

[Brady]

Take a nap.

[Brett]

It's this one. When Gary found out it was his neighbor banging his wife, did he go out in the front yard and act like Gus, sobbing, screaming, that's my neighbor? No, he didn't ask. Like Gus Walls, my neighbor. Anyway, that's the saga of Gary has been all week. And I'm sure it'll continue as he finds out more that after Gary story. John, I'm just going to start accusing my wife of blowing everybody. It's always easier to apologize later if I'm wrong. Like Gary's neighbor. Like Gary's neighbor. I'll just text my wife and say, I'm sorry. It's not true. I overreacted. And then we'll have makeup sex. That's true. Not a bad idea.

[Brady]

You think? The signal in the house when she. He was coming over there, she like, was in the second story window putting a little heart sign with her hands up there.

[Brett]

She could have been come on over. Yeah, they had signals there. Well, they're two houses down, so I don't know how that works with window signals. Unless she's got the. You're right. Like she could have the second story window in those. One of those Gilbert neighborhoods where the houses are a foot apart. And then you look over one house into the other, which is the exact same model as yours. So the only. It's reversed so your windows are facing. They might have a little window flashlight.

[Brady]

Probably two houses down. That takes a signal out. Probably just a simple. Just a giant suck on her more cigarette and a puff of smoke out the window.

[Brett]

What is it, like Indian signals? Okay.

[Brady]

Vaping.

[Brett]

Or you assume she's just awful.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

You've got a real. You know, tell me she's not stereotype. It doesn't mean she doesn't look. I know. Amazing. It doesn't mean she's smoking more.

[Brady]

Oh, no.

[Brett]

Necessarily. Have to be a trailer trash. It could be. You know, it happens in wealthy neighborhoods too, Brick.

[Brady]

They just put the garage door up a third.

[Brett]

That could be one of those things. Stack a rock, do one of those deals. You know, your neighborhood back in Columbus, as blind as you were, had to be loaded with stuff like this.

[Brady]

There were smoke signals loaded with stuff.

[Brett]

But you had that naked neighbor in the window. I wonder as a kid, because I had.

[Brady]

We knew Bob Ray signal.

[Brett]

Bob Ray's signal was just to rub his window when the kids were in the backyard. And then we knew raw dogging in the window. And we knew how your neighborhood handled it. No cops. We go. We face to face, talk to everybody. Kind of like Gary and his neighbor are doing. Writing letters.

[Brady]

Knock it off.

[Brett]

So Gary's probably gone full scorched earth. Knocked on the door, told the wife, shown pictures. I don't know if he. I don't know if he has the photograph of. You recognize this penis? Yeah, that's my husband. Whose mouth is that? And that's the name of the autobiography. After Gary Kills Everybody tonight on Tapeline. Whose Mouth is that? Indeed.

[John Holmberg]

Great name for the podcast too, actually.

[Brett]

Whose mouth was that? I'll just pretend to be Keith Morrison the whole time. And that's when Gary went outside and saw his neighbor with his mouth wide open. Usually it was the other way around, but he was surprised to see Gary. Gary needed a ride to the hospital and he just needed a ride. Yeah. Oh, it would be even better to have Gary in the neighborhood on the podcast. Oh, yeah. The guilty neighbor, the brain tumor sufferer. The wife. Tonight on was Whose Mouth Was that? A hovered exclusive, available for limited time only. Yeah, I don't know if I want to hang out with all those people. The podcast could be fantastic.

[John Holmberg]

Very special. Whose mouth is it?

[Brett]

Very special. We have the neighbor tonight. I would do it like Frasier. Hello, neighbor. We're listening. What were you thinking? Did you know Gary's brain tumor was as bad as it was? I really didn't. I mean, who leads with that? How long were you boning his wife before the tumor? Quite a while. Quite a while there. John. The podcast would win awards. John, Gary, Matt, zombie killer. The dude dating a girl with the twins having. Oh, geez. I forgot about how the twins that had sex and the couples that. Remember that one. I forgot about that one where the guy walked in and his. Were they twins? Were they step. I don't remember, but it was the brother and sister were getting it on when he came home from work. Remember that one? I don't think it was his daughter and his new wife's son, which I. Oh, yeah. I think that was it. I don't remember that story too.

[Brady]

That threw me for a curve, brother.

[Brett]

The other one was the one where the. The two that found out they were related. There was that email and they're not gonna quit. Yeah. And they'd stay. Yeah. They surprise guests all the way through this. This is the truth.

[Brady]

And if there's two or three more waiting, just go ahead and send it in.

[Brett]

If you're thinking about telling us your tale, open up. It's a safe place. Nothing. Obviously. We keep it all real private. We don't make fun of any of this stuff. We've put Matt on the back burner. His story is boring now. Got diagnosed with severe als and his wife's banging somebody at her job.

[Brady]

It doesn't go on any other station. It's safe.

[Brett]

Safe right here. Safe just in this little. This little nest of trust.

[Brady]

Tree.

[Brett]

Yes. You guys can trust us with your terrible stories. It's pretty good stuff, though. So, Gary, good luck to you. And if you happen to going to Kansas City this weekend. So I'm gonna miss some local news, but if you happen to hear about a guy who. I don't know, that dude over there in Scottsdale just walked right in and shot his wife twice while there were people at the house and just sat down. Said the cops gonna get. And he works over at asu. I know somebody who works with him.

[Brady]

And I'll take a beer.

[Brett]

Just have a pop real quick. I just killed her. She drive? I don't know. I haven't read further on why that dude shot his wife, but he just was. They just did. And it's a really nice neighborhood, so she wasn't outside sucking down. Moore's wearing, you know, Daisy Dukes, waiting for a light to flash in the neighbor's window. Hey, Gary, I'mma go next door real quick, get some sugar. Okay, let's do that. I'll be laying down. Yeah, that's where you always. Lazy mother. All right. Not lazy. I have brain tumor. That's a great excuse. Get my log.

[Brady]

There she goes out in the front yard, hoists up the rebel flag.

[Brett]

He throws the confidence signals off. Gary, do I have to put this flag up every day? You ever gonna do anything afraid to him? I have a hard time getting around. It's getting old, Gary. You know what's not getting old, Gary? You ever.

[Brady]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Brett]

Yeah, well, I needed those 20 minutes ago. The neighbor got. The neighbor took care of my oral fix. Gare Bear.

[Brady]

You're lucky Cletus took you to the hospital.

[Brett]

Gary, did the neighbor in Brady's scenario of stereotypes throw you in the back of the hog truck to take you to the hospital, or did it get you in the front? In the front bench seat? Brady automatically just, well, if you're acting like this, they look a certain way. I won't allow it to look like my neighborhood drop off at a Gatorade. Oh, but it does.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, it's obviously we were going to hell, but now I think Brady's joining us automatically. Be there now.

[Brett]

Brady just stereotyped him into a hole. I'm glad the guy's name wasn't Lamont. Well, she's probably standing outside smoking Parliaments. He's stereotyping the hell out of these people over there. Chicken was better next door. So one's a braid joke. Okay. Oh, boy. Oh, man. I told you, Andrew, be ashamed of yourself. Said, hey, baby. Just dropped off your husband at the hospital. Let's just say we can do it at least two more times. Two more. Two more times. All right. Anyway, thanks, Andrew. This one says, what about a GoFundMe for Gary? I mean, his wife has a Go F me account, and evidently it's been open for a while. That's right. That's right. She's got a Go f me. How about a GoFundMe for Gary? We'll raise some money for him. You know what, though? Those inoperable brain tumors are just really throwing bad money after Good.

[Brady]

Just kicking it down the road.

[Brett]

It's a. Yeah, you're just. Yeah, you're just. That just means Gary stays around a little longer to deal with this. Gary. Let's just hope that thing gets real aggressive. Kind of like your wife around a dick. Oh, geez. You know what the difference between a neighbor's penis and Gary's tumor is? You can take the penis out of the wife's head.

[Brady]

Oh.

[Brett]

Sorry, Gary. He does have a good sense of humor. We did share some emails yesterday about what's going on with his head. And then like words like blastoma and all sorts of stuff going on. And he had constant nosebleeds, you know, headaches and things like that. And then that patch where he said he couldn't see out of his eye. We chatted yesterday for a little bit on each mail. Then I just. I had stuff to do so we couldn't cut it off. We got functional and got a lot going on. Steve says I like it. You could have your podcast start tonight on a very special blowome non Blossom Blows. Yeah, there you go. That's what we deal with on our emails every day. Does any. Does Beth get. Does Beth acknowledge these moments on her show? No, she just wants to know how to make homemade ice cream with the friends. I know one lady that's mixing up a little cream. Gary's wife. And we're gonna get her in here before it's all over. Gary's wife, we need to talk to you pd.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.

[Byron]

Brett. I sure do. It's MMP Guns Customs MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[John Holmberg]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Byron]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with. No wait.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpguns customs.com why choose a sleep.

[Brett]

Number smart bed Can I make my sight softer? Can I make my sight firmer? Can we sleep cooler?

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[Brett]

If you know a lady who's married to a Gary and that Gary happens to have an inoperable brain tumor and you work with her and don't think a lady with a husband with an inoperable brain tumor has kept that under wraps. She came into work with the sympathy card being flashed about, I can't. I just can't. Everybody's been like, oh, poor Sarah. She's had such a rough go since her husband. No, she hasn't. She's been having the time of her life while Gary's laid up. I know, guys. It's just been so hard since Gary's brain tumor. We can't imagine what you're going through. How's your mental health? Oh, my head's taking a beating.

[Brady]

She was upset the other day because she's like, my lover was coming over, and my stupid husband was staggering in the front yard. I've had a bad day.

[Brett]

See, Brady just brought her right back to the white trash lady that would just talk about her affair out loud before her husband's tumor. He can't handle that they can keep it together, that she might be amazing, that he might fall for it. There's the danger.

[John Holmberg]

No, we're not gonna play creeds with mouth wide open for Gary's wife. All right, Gilbert, please.

[Brett]

Well, I just heard the news today. Gary's wife is gone and got a dick in her face with mouths wide open, mouth wide open, the legs behind them. Welcome to her face. You. Every place would be worse if, like, she's in the middle of that and he's just by the window and he's got his hand on top of her head. Hey, not for nothing there, sir. I don't want to interrupt this. It's pretty great. Your husband's outside wanting to run on the road again. Oh, God damn it. I go get my Confederate flag. I'll wrap him up, we'll tie him to something so I can finish up on this one. Yee haw. I'll flop the pegs. I like Brady's Cletus, and they're just horrible white trash. I want to know what they do. Gary, email me again and tell me if you live in a nice neighborhood. If Brady's right, I'm leaning towards Gary being in an all right situation because never once has he said he needs money or, like, he seems like he's got good insurance. He's two trailers down. He took trailer down from it. I used to trust him with my house. Let me come on over There. If you can find my song, I'll let you take it off. Ew. Anyway, that's our lives. That's what we do. That's how this world works. I like with mouths wide open. That's a concert. Psyching rock. Yeah. The Creed is going to be here in a little bit. Yeah. I feel so bad for.

[John Holmberg]

We should send Gary to that show.

[Brett]

Gary, if you want to go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we'll hook it up.

[Brett]

We'll give you some Creed tickets. I don't know if you got an appointment that day or whatever. You should probably take your wife. Cause just in case you don't want to leave for three hours, you know what she's gonna do 25 steps down the road. Just wipe it off with my stars and bars. Let me clean my face here with my confed flag. Project 2025. I'm all in. Gary. Gary's wife, according to Brady, will be front row tonight at the Trump rally over there in Glendale. I would so blow you, Dr. Trump. Not a doctor. Don't know what's wrong with you. Please take off that Confederate flag. That makes me look like a real weirdo. It's not good. Anyway. Yeah, Trump's here again today, and I don't know what he's doing to clog up traffic, but we're mad at Kamala the other day. I know he flew into Sierra Vista and the Trump. Trump won. They dropped that. That thing at Fort Huachuca yesterday. Then he's wandered around on the. On the border.

[John Holmberg]

Should be at an Air force base.

[Brett]

I mean, I'm not clogging up traffic for that, but I'm fine with that. And so, yeah, I don't know where he's taken. I don't think you can fly. I don't know that you can fly. Trump 1 from Fort Huachuca to Phoenix. I don't think you take a big plane for that short a ride.

[Brady]

Yeah, they're driving.

[Brett]

Yeah. They're probably hoofing it or taking a baby, maybe choppering up. Yeah, something. But. But hopefully Trump's not clogging up traffic the whole way. I'm not a fan of that.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think do that for the candidates too, like.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, well, Trump's a former president, so he's got extra. They got. Made me talk about you. You've been watching the news, the social, the Social Security. The Secret Service has been kind of under fire, so there's probably a few.

[Brady]

Extra stepping up their game.

[Brett]

They're showing up now. Yeah. So he's Going to be out there in Glendale today, so you guys can go watch him talk. And hopefully Gary's wife will be there and saying hello and goodbye to everybody at the door. Vote Trump 24. Hi. Thanks for coming. I mean that. Thanks for coming. See what I did there? Okay, thanks. Bye. Vote Trump.

[John Holmberg]

Wonder if he's got that Melissa McCarthy Secret Service agent with him again. The one gun and holster.

[Brett]

I can't get this thing out of my. I can't.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, she talked to Gary's wife.

[Brett]

She knows how to hold shrimp. She didn't know how to handle a cylindrical object like me. Starts with cigarettes, works its way up to a dildee and then the neighbor's tea. I need my medicine. Need, need, need. We all have needs. I'm going next door. Brady, I'm gonna be in your brain.

[Brady]

For this potato salad in the fridge.

[Brett]

It's not good anymore, but what does it matter to you? Just do it, Gary. Jesus. Wine, wine, wine. When's it all gonna be over? The mayonnaise ain't going bad. So have you. And I keep you around. No reason to throw away perfectly good potato salad. You wouldn't eat it? I'm healthy, Gary. You can eat whatever. Now you don't have to worry about getting fat. Chemo gonna take care of that? This is Brady's character. I'm just manifesting her into reality. See, the reason that she's so great is she's got no feelings at all. Evident. Gary just can't get anything.

[Brady]

You're too hot. Just take a swim in the above.

[John Holmberg]

The ground pool in the cement pond.

[Brett]

Gary, I mixed up a pot full of that Tang you're supposed to be drinking. Just come in here and ladle some into your mouth. I'll be next door. What's next door? Oh, health and fitness. Let me tell you. I just can't tolerate looking at you bouncing around this house all retarded. I'm going next door.

[John Holmberg]

Just going to West Hightower's house.

[Brady]

I looked at the pantry. I'm going over there to borrow some Twinkies.

[Brett]

We got Winnie Twinkies in your weird Tang. I know who's got some of that. I'm gonna bring some Tang to the neighbor, if you know what I'm saying. Your hands. You have nothing in your hands. I didn't say let's bring him the powdered version. Geez, so stupid. Since the tumor. Poor Gary. Gary, if you want to come down here, you're welcome to polish off the show for last couple months that you're able. He did joke a little bit about dying, like he's comfortable with it. Yesterday on the email seat, we were. He's like, what do I care? I've got four months to live. Like four. He goes, well, early estimates, like, how bad is this? It's not good. It's the same thing McCain had. He said gastoblastoma or whatever that's called. It's like a big old frontal lobe tumor. He doesn't have much longer before he starts not making sense. I wish it stopped making sense now. Mr. Observational all of a sudden. I was told his cognitive sight and memory were bad. It turns out this guy's like a sleuth all of a sudden. He's like Sherlock Holmes of Dick.

[Brady]

Where are my Springer tapes?

[Brett]

Just don't need you bre. All day.

[John Holmberg]

I was on season three.

[Brett]

Yeah. Could you please stop smoking it? I'm blowing it right in your face. Gary, let's speed this up. It's good for the both of that. I had to leave the locker room when you said, wipe it off with my stars and bars. I belly laughed. I couldn't breathe. Coughed laughed. Sound like I was choking. Sort of like Gary's wife said. Chancellor, I heard you give him Creed tickets if he wants them. But wouldn't 311 tickets be better? Just so Gary knows that even as bad as it is, things could get worse. Yeah, I don't need.

[John Holmberg]

He might want to end it earlier. You know what?

[Brett]

It might push him over the edge, which is maybe a decent idea. And that is true. And Gary's condition. When is Creed? Brett? September 4th. This weekend is 3:11. September 4th.

[John Holmberg]

Make it to September 4th.

[Brett]

I know we'll make it. But you know what? Yeah, you can have those, too. Just be sure not to leave them laying around in case, you know, be inevitable. And then your wife takes the neighbor. Hey, I found some free tickets there at Gary's funeral. Would you like to go see Creed? Let me ask my wife if I can get out. Okay. I'll be in the backyard firing a bow and arrow. We are so trashy. Anyway. Gary. Gary's wife. Horrible. This is terrible. This is a terrible morning. I did not expect this to. Yeah, John, you're doing a perfect. Misconduct is Garrison. It's true. Look, kids, this is the way things are going to go around here from now on. Your daddy's dying and your mom is hungry. There's a thirst trap next door. And I'm going to go over there and knock that down every once in a while. Don't you Dare tell your dad I can keep pictures. You want to see the neighbors wiener? I have it. At least some of it you can see. Most of it's hidden in my lips.

[John Holmberg]

Go to the store and buy another pack of cigarettes. I'm almost out of Mars.

[Brett]

Moore.

[Brady]

Who'S got my Inquirer?

[Brett]

I have literally transported myself here from 1991. I got VHS, I got National Enquirers. Moore.

[Brady]

Gary, you look like Bat Boy.

[Brett]

Gary's making me sick. I think he might be that Appalachian Bat boy. I'm gonna call the authorities. Have Gary resting his Bat boy. Boy, is Gary dumb now. I bet you she probably just picks the phone up. Hi, neighbor. How you doing? It's Alicia. Yeah, what's going on? Hey. Gary's so stupid now. I think you just come over and blow. You right in front of me and you remember nothing. You think that's a good idea? I'm a hillbilly. I don't know what good ideas are. Get your ass over here. I'm hungry.

[Brady]

Girl, you're not going to believe this. I got a letter from Zack. Bagging it.

[Brett]

Gary, I swear to God, if you haunt me after this, I will be so pissed off. Don't you dare. If you haunt me, I don't care what you do. Just don't move my smokes. That's all. I need to know where those are 24 7. I wake up with a craving. I gotta have something in my mouth. She has stars and bars. Beach towels. Clean herself. Yuck. Gary, you should leave. I don't know. You want to stay at Brady's house? Brady will take. I'm not taking any of this. That's just sad. But Brady will do it. He's a good person. I'm not. You can stay in my pool shed. It's pretty hot though. No air conditioning. Dog's room's nice, but I'm not caring for you would do it. Would you take Gary if he asked?

[Brady]

He could stay with Eva and Coco. Rather get the cup Comfort there.

[Brett]

What if it's contagious? And like you're like, geez, ever since Gary moved in, I can't stop blowing laser. Like you just want your neighbors more. When Gary's around, she gonna change the lock.

[Brady]

My signal.

[Brett]

Oh, this is bad. This is not good. Anyway, that's enough of that. It's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool actually.

[Brett]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.