Holmberg's Morning Sickness – August 29, 2025

Episode Title: "There Used To Be An Ugly Law Where Ugly People Weren't Allowed In Public Places BO"
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Main Theme:
The episode dives into the bizarre and now-defunct “ugly laws” that prohibited people deemed "unsightly" from public spaces in the US, exploring their historical context and how concepts of beauty, privilege, and exclusion persist in society. The hosts discuss the cruelty and absurdity of the laws, riff on the social dynamics of attractiveness, and riff humorously and irreverently on historical and pop culture references.

Main Discussion and Insights

The Existence of "Ugly Laws"

Timestamp: 01:43–06:00

• Brett brings up an old US law that banned “ugly” people – those with visible disabilities or diseases – from public places, supposedly for public health.

  • “Did you know that...if you were too ugly, they could kick you out of places? That was a law in America, the ugly law. That's a real thing.” – Brett (01:43)
  • It was rooted in society’s harsh standards and conflated aesthetics with health fears.
  • Ugly business was taken literally – if someone seemed “unsightly,” police could be called to remove them.

• Both Brett and Brady point out that ignorance about medical science at the time contributed to such laws.

  • “They didn’t know about medical anything. They didn’t know about germs until like the 1800s.” – Brett (03:21)
  • Poor hygiene, lack of knowledge, and social elitism fueled the cruelty.
  • Wealth could sometimes shield people from the law, but only to an extent.

Absurd Scenarios and Social Commentary

Timestamp: 04:03–07:20

• The hosts parody what enforcement might have sounded like, with Irish cops shooing people away for being ugly, and how people would have to live secluded lives.

  • “Mr. Holmberg, I see you found daylight again. Please remove yourself from our vision. You are unsightly and loathsome.” – Brett, parodying (04:29)

• These laws impacted livelihoods, targeting especially disabled street vendors and performers, forcing marginalized people into isolation and poverty.

• John quips about being like Sloth from Goonies, chained in a basement, while FDR’s presidency is discussed in this light (his visible disability would have made him a target).

  • "FDR even was like considered in the 30s...he would have fallen because he was in that wheelchair.” – Brett (06:04)

The Last Ugly Law Arrests

Timestamp: 06:16–07:20

• The last known ugly law-related arrest occurred in 1974 in Nebraska, shocking the group with how recently these prejudices were codified into law.

Pop Culture References and ‘Mask’

Timestamp: 12:58–15:57

• The hosts compare the ugly law’s impact to the life of Rocky Dennis (subject of the film Mask), joking about how even someone like Rocky could have been targeted.

  • “Rocky Dennis…he wasn’t arrested for being ugly, he was just really ugly.” – Brett (13:01)
  • They recall Mask scenes, especially where the blind character feels Rocky’s face:
    • “Even her eyes were like, whoa, what is going on here?” – John (13:37)

• They joke about how rare Rocky Dennis’s condition was, riffing on doomsday scenarios for people with unique conditions.

  • “If they didn’t name it that, they’re idiots.” – Brett, about cranio-diaphyseal dysplasia (14:38)

Humor About Attraction, Space, and Isolation

Timestamp: 18:08–20:53

• Discussion shifts to two astronauts stranded in space for a year, with the hosts riffing irreverently on how physical appearance might be viewed when options are limited.
  • “If you got trapped in an elevator... you might have sex with Skeletor…” – Brett (19:40)
  • They speculate about “space goggles” (lowering standards due to isolation) and joke about Deep Roy being an astronaut.
  • “I got the space crazies and I’m thinking about banging Deep Roy!” – Brett (19:18)

Gender Roles, Relationships, and Finances

Timestamp: 20:57–21:39

• Banter about relationships and money:
  • “When a bill comes, he'll look at his lady Madea and say...she pays for it with her own money.” – Unknown male guest (20:58)
  • John and Brett revel in the fantasy of reversing traditional financial expectations.
  • “Oh what a dream. Pretty amazing.” – John (21:36)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the cruelty of beauty standards:

  • “It was called the rise of pretty privilege. They would say only pretty people or people that were acceptably visibly acceptable could come in.” – Brett (02:33)

• On historical ignorance:

  • “Women's hygiene wasn't invented till the mid-30s. Like, they just stuffed socks and potato sacks in there to stop the bleeding.” – Brett (03:39)

• On enforcement absurdity:

  • “Call somebody and get him off. Hey, you, sir. Yes, you. Get indoors immediately. Why? You're breaking the ugly law.” – Brett (04:29)

• On how even historical figures might have suffered:

  • “FDR even was like considered in the 30s. Like he would have fallen because he was in that wheelchair. Which is why they always stood him up.” – Brett (06:04)

• On the human impact of the law:

  • “Disabled street vendors, panhandlers and performers were forced out of work.” – Brett (05:00)

• On Rocky Dennis and Mask:

  • “Touch my face. Yeah, I am. When does it end?” – John on the blind character meeting Rocky (13:37)
  • “Cranio diaphyseal dysplasia. Very rare. He's the only one who had it. Really. Truly is kind of the only one who had it.” – Brett (15:57)

• On being stranded with someone unattractive:

  • “If you got trapped in an elevator with somebody for two days, you might have sex with Skeletor…” – Brett (19:40)

Timestamps: Important Segments

• 01:43 – Introduction to the original "ugly laws"
• 02:31–04:29 – Enforcement, social class privilege, and hygiene history
• 06:00–07:20 – Ugly laws' effect on livelihoods, last U.S. arrest (1974)
• 12:58–15:57 – 'Mask' and Rocky Dennis discussion, social exclusion
• 18:20–20:53 – Astronauts in space, isolation, and shifting standards
• 20:57–21:39 – Relationships, finances, and role reversals

Overall Tone and Style

The hosts blend shock, humor, and irreverence to address serious historical prejudice while exposing its absurdity and lingering effects today. Jokes about pop culture, relationships, and modern equivalents keep the discussion light despite the topic’s dark past. The conversational, rapid-fire banter is full of satirical asides and over-the-top hypotheticals, characteristic of “Holmberg's Morning Sickness.”