Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (09-01-25)

Episode Title: Bad Acting In The Bible - Jesus Needs Better Magic - Would Brady Smoke Weed w/Jesus BO
Date: September 1, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Mark, and others

Episode Overview

This episode features the usual irreverent banter of Holmberg and the crew as they riff on everything from mischievous holiday traditions to pop culture depictions of Jesus. The crew dives into the authenticity (or lack thereof) in TV portrayals of biblical stories, imagines what Jesus would be like with more charisma and stage presence, jokes about world religions and their calendars, and wraps up with a hilarious hypothetical: would you do drugs with certain celebrities — or even with Jesus himself?

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Mischief with Christmas Nativity Scenes

[01:41–04:36]

• Listener emails about a childhood game in Wisconsin called "Baby Jesus Hunting" where people would steal baby Jesus figures from outdoor nativity scenes at Christmas, then return them on Easter.
• The hosts reminisce about their own household traditions:
  • Mark kept baby Jesus hidden in a drawer until Christmas morning to be authentic.
  • Discussion about whether outdoor nativity scenes should include the baby ahead of Christmas.
• Notable Quote:
  • Holmberg, joking about the theatricality of nativity setups:

    "We're celebrating. It's not Christmas Day. There's no reason to put up the Nativity scene at all until like the day before with your realistic, you know, Daniel Day Lewis style of nativity scenery." — Holmberg (03:36)

2. Bad Acting in The Bible TV Series & Jesus’ Lacking Charisma

[04:36–09:01]

• Holmberg and Brady rib a recent "Bible" TV series for its cheesy, wooden acting, especially the performance of the actor playing Jesus.
• They lampoon the portrayal: Jesus is too gloomy to have been a popular figure, and if he really could do miracles, he'd have wowed people — and possibly avoided execution.
• Notable Quotes:
  • "He's the worst actor I've ever seen. Chris Cornell is terrible... I mean, he is gorgeous. He's like the Brad Pitt." — Holmberg (04:52)
  • "If you're the king of kings, you can do all these miracles. I would have put on a hell of a show a lot better than that. All this subtle crap nonsense." — Holmberg (06:47)
• They theorize that if Jesus had more showmanship, today's religious iconography would be more fun:

  "We wouldn't have that, you know, sad crucifix thing. We'd have like a picture of Jesus around our neck doing cool things." — Brady (08:06)

3. Why the World Uses the Christian Calendar

[09:01–11:01]

• Brady and Holmberg ponder why non-Christian cultures (Muslims, Buddhists, Jews, Asians) use “AD” years for business and international affairs.
• Theorizing about Roman power and Western global dominance leading to calendar adoption.
• Memorable Insight:
  • Holmberg attributes it to pragmatism:

    "For business, it's all business. Because we, you know, the Western came down. The business." (09:16)

4. Comparing Religious Figures: Jesus vs. Buddha

[11:47–12:52]

• The crew jokes about Buddha’s image as a lucky symbol in casinos and on jeans, in contrast to Christianity’s solemnity.
• "I like that Buddha lost his job. He said, ah, forget it, I don’t care. I go sell jeans. He’s a lucky jeans guy." — Holmberg (12:00)
• Imagines a world where Jesus replaces Buddha in other cultures’ pop symbols.

5. Festival Talk & Smoking Weed with Celebrities

[12:52–16:13]

• Discussion pivots to hypothetical festival plans, potential for legalized marijuana, and which celebrities would be fun to get high with.
• Holmberg isn’t a fan of weed—gets paranoid—but says he’d make an exception for certain iconic musicians (Cypress Hill, Snoop Dogg, Keith Richards, Paul McCartney).
• Notable Quotes:
  • "If Snoop Dogg's around, I'm smoking weed." — Holmberg (13:36)
  • "Would you get high with Paul McCartney?" — Holmberg (15:51)
• Brady jokes about how you’d have to say yes if "Jesus" offered you drugs, given the divine circumstances.

6. The Ultimate Hypothetical: Would You Do Heroin with Jesus?

[19:00–20:29]

• Hilarious tangent about whether you’d refuse a hard drug if Jesus himself invited you as a test.
• Notable Exchange:
  • "You wouldn't do it if Jesus said, be a heroin?" — Holmberg (19:25)
  • "If Jesus said that? Yeah." — Mark (19:26)
  • "That was your test. You failed." — Brady (19:33)
• The bit escalates: if Jesus floated in on a cloud, offered you heroin, and promised lotto numbers—would you refuse?

Memorable Moments & Quotes (with Timestamps)

• The Authentic Nativity Scene Debate (03:36):

  "It's not Christmas Day. There's no reason to put up the Nativity scene at all until like the day before with your realistic, you know, Daniel Day Lewis style of nativity scenery." — Holmberg

• On Cheesy Jesus Acting (04:52):

  "He's the worst actor I've ever seen... I mean, he is gorgeous. He's like the Brad Pitt." — Holmberg

• If Jesus Had More Stage Presence (06:47):

  "I would have put on a hell of a show... I've built the city of the future. This is a new car. You're going to love this stuff." — Holmberg

• Calendar Confusion and Global Business (09:16):

  "For business, it's all business." — Holmberg

• Comparing Buddha & Jesus in Pop Culture (12:00):

  "I like that Buddha lost his job... He's a lucky jeans guy." — Holmberg

• Celebrity Weed Hypotheticals (15:51):

  "Would you get high with Paul McCartney?" — Holmberg

• Would You Do Heroin if Jesus Asked? (19:25):

  "You wouldn't do it if Jesus said, be a heroin?" — Holmberg
  "If Jesus said that? Yeah." — Mark (19:26)
  "That was your test. You failed." — Brady (19:33)

Episode Flow & Tone

• Highly conversational, irreverent, and comedic.
• The crew riff and escalate each other’s jokes, often turning philosophical or religious topics into absurd or pop-culture-infused hypotheticals.
• The episode veers quickly from lighthearted memories to satire on religious media, to stoner humor with playful what-if scenarios.

Conclusion

This episode is a quintessential outing for "Holmberg's Morning Sickness": playful, sometimes pointed, and always pushing the boundaries between irreverent humor and cultural commentary. Whether they're debating the authenticity of nativity scenes, criticizing wooden TV portrayals of Jesus, or imagining doing drugs with famous musicians (or the son of God himself), the humor stays sharp and unexpected.