09-01-25 - Guy Emails New Girl At Work He's Banging Had Pic Of His Dad On Dresser - Talking Body Maladies w/People BO

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (Arizona)

Episode Air Date: September 1, 2025
Main Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Episode Title: Guy Emails New Girl At Work He's Banging Had Pic Of His Dad On Dresser - Talking Body Maladies w/People BO

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Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness is a wild ride through accidentally hooking up with your cousin, awkward family histories, and the gross-yet-fascinating realities of body lumps and maladies. With their characteristic brash, irreverent style, the hosts take listener emails and live stories, riffing proudly with their Arizona audience. They navigate everything from taboo family encounters to the dark humor of medical oddities and the passing of a memorable golf personality.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Accidentally Hooking Up With Your Cousin

[01:41–06:30]

• The morning's first big email involves a listener ("Terry") who details an exciting week of hooking up with a new coworker—only to discover, at her place, a family photo with his estranged father.
• The shocking realization: The "love of his life" is almost certainly his first cousin.
• Terry admits:
  "I believe the love of my life is my first cousin and is, by the way, the best sex I've ever had. Without question.” (Terry, 02:20)
• Laughter and commentary ensue:
  • Co-Host: “That’s a very royal relationship.” (02:58)
  • Main Commentator: “This is why I don’t want to fly in coach with you people.” (02:59)
• The hosts riff on Terry’s predicament, the awkwardness of family estrangement, and how modern, scattered families increase the odds of such accidents.
• Memorable Moment:
  Holmberg’s dark quip about birth control:
  "I'm just going to tie a little hanger to my penis every time I have sex and just let it go in there and do the damage before I can do anything else… You might be my cousin, I don't know." (06:06)

2. Family Disconnection and Unintended Consequences

[04:27–05:17]

• The hosts discuss how split families, divorces, and moves can result in never knowing your relatives—and thus accidentally dating or hooking up with cousins.
• Co-Host: "It has to increase that... you’re running into cousins you’ve never seen." (04:42)
• Bizarre solutions are tossed around: hoping she was adopted, refusing to return to work, etc.
• Undercurrent: lots of laughter about the frequency of similar emails received.

3. Body Maladies Show-and-Tell

[06:31–12:29]

• Holmberg recounts a conversation with coworkers about odd lumps and bumps on bodies—his own included.
• His own story: a skull lump that looked like a "boneless chicken wing" when removed. Insurance only paid for it if considered "cancerous."
  • “The thing that was in my head … looked so much like a boneless chicken wing. I would have taken a bite just to see.” (08:14)
• Jennifer (with a G), a sales lady, has a bump in her elbow with a pulse—cue jokes about “the baby in her elbow.”
  • “It is a living creature with a heartbeat and a soul. And Kari Lake would never let her remove it. It has to come to term…” (09:19)
• Other attendees at the event try to one-up one another with gross-out body stories:
  • A guy can “shoot” a lump in his forearm out like a water balloon. Another displays a shoulder hollow big enough to fit a fist.
  • Reflections on how everyone hides physical imperfections but everyone has something weird:
    “None of you are flawless, for God’s sakes.” (11:04)
• High school stories:
  • One kid had a permanent crater in his chest and could eat soup out of it, another had a sunken chest that Holmberg found “so gross.”

4. Brief Tribute to Chichi Rodriguez

[13:50–16:04]

• A listener’s email notes the passing of golfer Chichi Rodriguez, leading to reminiscence of televised golf, playful ethnic humor, and 1970s nostalgia.
  • Main Commentator: "Chi Chi Rodriguez was more like just a… he was the charro of golf.” (14:24)
  • Jokes about how Rodriguez was the “fun” guy in a very stiff, white sport, often remembered more for his sword dance than his play.
  • Co-Host:
    “He was well known for … not a goat by any means.” (15:03)
• Sidebar: references to Lee Trevino and 1970s/1980s TV culture.
• Commentary on how bigoted humor was common on TV and the “fun” in being different was more accepted.

5. Sports, Excuses, and Faking Injuries

[16:04–19:22]

• The hosts share a quick take on athletes feigning injury after losses, referencing track runner Noah Lyles and gymnast Simone Biles—comparing it to kids making up excuses to avoid admitting defeat.
  • “When Noah Lyles pretended he was dying after the 200 … I could run 200 meters, not as fast as him obviously, but ... I don't need a wheelchair to leave.” (18:25)
• Relates to their own childhoods:
  • Holmberg tells a story about a kid named Sammy who would feign injuries whenever he lost.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On accidental cousin romance:
  "This is why I don't want to fly in coach with you people ... that's how you find out—a family picture at her place while you're picking up panties for her to get whored out at your dump again tonight." (02:59–03:29)
• On family disconnection:
  "The whole thing about divorce and split families … Stepdad this… You're running into cousins you've never seen." (04:34–04:44)
• On body oddities:
  “The thing that was in my head … looked so much like a boneless chicken wing. I would have taken a bite just to see.” (08:14) “It is a living creature with a heartbeat and a soul. And Kari Lake would never let her remove it.” (09:19)
• On sportsmanship and faking:
  “When Noah Lyles pretended he was dying after the 200 … That’s not that far… This particular time, you gotta wheel me out of here. It's... I think I've lost all the... I think my spine snapped.” (18:25)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:41–06:30: Terry's accidental cousin story and reactions
• 06:31–12:29: Body maladies at the work event—lumps, pulses, and contesting the grossest physical oddity
• 13:50–16:04: Chichi Rodriguez tribute and golf/TV nostalgia
• 16:04–19:22: Riffing on athletes faking injury after losing and related childhood stories

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Tone and Style Notes

• The episode is signature Holmberg: irreverent, raw, and laced with shock humor and camaraderie.
• The crew’s banter feels inclusive for the long-time Arizona audience but is peppered with enough universal oddities and stories to entertain new listeners.
• Quotes reflect their unfiltered, explicit comedic style—topics are handled with gleeful insensitivity.

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Overall

A classic episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness, where real emails spark taboo debate, medical oddities become fodder for gross-out humor, and there's always room to joke about nostalgia—for better or worse. If you’re squeamish or easily offended, this is not your morning show, but for their rabid Phoenix fanbase, it’s another laugh-filled broadcast.

Transcript

[Host]

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[Main Commentator]

There's more of the best of homework's morning sickness. 98 KUPD and then I got this email this morning. Guys, after a week of absolutely awesome nights with the new girl from work, we had drinks the first day she worked there, hit it off immediately, drinks again the next night. I went to dinner and then back to my apartment to just get the tension out cut loose. She stayed at the house on Wednesday. We went to work together. Friday morning, left together or Thursday morning. Sorry, I misread that. Left together, stayed at the house again till Friday. She went back to her place, got some clothes. I went with her and as I was leaving her house I saw a picture of my dad on her dresser. She was with him and a few other people and I Said, how do you know this guy? Oh, that's my uncle. I haven't spoken to my dad or his side of the family in almost 20 years. I am not going to work anymore. I told her I'm sick, I don't feel well, and I just can't believe what's going on. I believe the love of my life is my first cousin and is, by the way, the best sex I've ever had. Without question. I have no clue how to go to work today, Terry.

[Co-Host]

That's a very royal relationship.

[Main Commentator]

This is why I don't want to fly in couch with you people. The reason your dad's not talking to you. Yeah, you can go about your business there, Terry. I'm gonna take off, dad. I'm pulling a full Toledo here. You ain't right. So that is how you find out a family picture at her place while you're picking up panties for her to get whored out at your dump again tonight. And then he immediately says, I don't feel good, and leaves and skips work today.

[Host]

He already did it.

[Main Commentator]

He already did it.

[Co-Host]

He'll be back here.

[Main Commentator]

You think?

[Co-Host]

Oh, yeah.

[Main Commentator]

He goes back to the cousin. I don't know.

[Co-Host]

He's got to tell her, though. That's my dad.

[Main Commentator]

I don't think he did. From what it sound like, he just escaped. Ran away. Because he can't break up with her like that. He can't end it that way. He's had a great week. Couple drinks Monday, couple drinks Tuesday, get it together Wednesday, boom, boom, boom. You close the deal. Thursday, you go back to her house. Gag, gag, gag, gag, gag. She picks up panties to go back to your place for Thursday night. And you see the picture. Oh, boy, does he hit it again. That's the question. No. You have so much all done. All done? Yep. Including DNA. We got too many of these emails. How many people don't tell us that they're banging their cousins? I mean, we've had probably 30 that have told us, yeah, I nailed my cousin. It's an accident. It's like we got five days of.

[Contest Promoter]

What would Brady do?

[Main Commentator]

Yeah, every day I get an email from somebody's doing something stupid.

[Co-Host]

Just imagine, you know, hasn't talked to his dad in 25 years or been around the family.

[Main Commentator]

That's the whole thing about divorce and split families. You never know if they all start taking off and we're scattered all over the place. Stepdad, this.

[Co-Host]

It has to increase that.

[Main Commentator]

You're running into cousins you've never seen.

[Co-Host]

Yeah, up separated families.

[Main Commentator]

Not real close to your aunts and uncles. Never got to know your cousins because you had mom met Roger and Roger moved you down to Phoenix and they live over in, you know, Dallas, so you kind of lost.

[Co-Host]

There's only one thing you could hope is she was adopted.

[Main Commentator]

Yeah, well, good luck. Yeah.

[Host]

Well, you can open one hand, an.

[Main Commentator]

S in the other hand, see what exactly. You're gonna have a handful of ass is what Brett's saying.

[Co-Host]

Man.

[Main Commentator]

Yeah, don't. Why do you email us with this? Why call a therapist or. Because he can't call his dad and he can't call his family. He's got nobody.

[Host]

I'm guessing by next week he's gonna be like, don't ask, don't tell.

[Main Commentator]

I don't know. I don't like seeing rogue pictures of my old man at somebody's house I just boned. He'd throw it into somebody. Look around. Why is. How do you know Kirk Fetchley? That's my uncle. Oh, crap, then. Worst part is she's probably in that weird little holdout C spine position getting the rest out of her belly button. Oh, that's my unc. Here's five plan Bs. Kill it dead. Kill it dead.

[Co-Host]

Let me call it.

[Main Commentator]

Let me call Ducey's kid. Let me get. Let me get a supply over here. Some Plan Bs. Plan B, C, D and E. And we're eat them all together. I'm going to have a couple just in case. That's why my new plan for the 2024 election makes abortion an irrelevant topic. I'm just going to tie a little hanger to my penis every time I have sex and just let it go in there and do the damage before I can do anything else. Just have the thing just get torn out to begin with. Graham cracker Sprite. I'm out the door.

[Host]

Right on the nightstand.

[Main Commentator]

Yeah, just right there. What are you doing? I'm tying a little tiny hanger to the end of my wiener. Why? I think we both know why. I don't want a baby that works. You might be my cousin, I don't know. But it's certainly is not conducive to a healthy environment for the egg and sperm. So I'm pretty sure you'll be all right. Look, you're going to bar feel this either way crazy. Speaking of stuff going on, one of our sales ladies was at the event last night. Her name is Jennifer with a G. Jennifer comes over and we start chatting. I'm talking with Jennifer with a J and Jennifer with a G. And we were talking about body maladies. So I had that lump on my head for years. It was removed. I've got a little one. Everybody's got something. I've got a little bump on my shoulder. We were talking about people who have bumps on their bodies, and it's no big deal. Like, I watch Dr. Pimple Popper, and they're constantly pulling out chicken cutlets from people's bodies. It's disgusting. I love it. The thing that was in my head, that was on my skull, that I had removed, looked so much like a boneless chicken wing. I would have taken a bite just to see. It was weird. It looked exactly. You put it in with boneless chicken wings. You would have never questioned it. And it lived inside my head, and I had it removed. So I'm telling my story about that, because in order to get that thing removed from my head, which was a big bump, it was considered plastic surgery by insurance because it's part of my face, because I don't have a hairline. So technically, I learned that day that my face ends right around the top of my ass because it never stops being faced, according to that. So I had to get a doctor, say it was cancerous or they had to look into it for that. So I had to complain that it hurt to a couple other doctors. I had doctors visit, say, oh, my eyes hurt. This thing's aching. Something's going on. And they're like, all right, we'll do that. And then I had to go into the test, and then the test came back, and they're like, I'm not real worried about it. Like, damn it, you got it. So then I finally got a doctor that said, I'll cut it out and test it. So they did that. Jennifer with a G standing next to me says, I've got one right here. And she points to her elbow, the crook of her elbow, and it's a little bump you can kind of see, right? So I'm like, cool. So I had one on my shoulder that I let her touch, and then Jennifer with a J touched it, and they're like, oh, that's nothing. I'm like, yeah, but someday it'll grow. It'll have to get it cut out, because that's what lipomas do. And Jennifer says, mine has a pulse. And sure as it does, she's got a little baby heart. And, I mean, it's a strong pulse. I felt my wrist.

[Co-Host]

Is that because it's on the vein?

[Main Commentator]

I don't know. Yeah, Something ain't right. There's a little pulse in your. I mean, you have to really find it in your elbow.

[Co-Host]

This thing, you think it has a separate heart?

[Main Commentator]

It's growing inside of her and it's alive. Yeah. It's a Mike's Hard Lemonade in her elbow. It is a living creature with a heartbeat and a soul. And Kari Lake would never let her remove it. It has to come to term, and they have to eat. The whole thing has to be done. It was the creepiest thing. And she. And, I mean, she's trying to promote aliens. That's what she said. It's like the aliens movie. She. When she made her arm fully straight, and I watched, you can see the heartbeat move. Oh, it's creepy. And then she just laughs. Very pretty lady. Like, all that normal stuff. And now all I care about when she talks to me is, how's the.

[Co-Host]

Baby in the elbow, that arm out.

[Main Commentator]

And we all have something. So it turns into this deal after where I tell a guy on the patio, I'm like, I was just one of our sales ladies, and she's got a heartbeat in her elbow. Guy goes, that's nothing. I think his name was Keela Keely, Something like that. I don't remember. But he pulls this thing out of his arm that is in there, and he reaches into, like, his same area. It's down by his forearm. Reaches down by his forearm, and. And, like, pushes and this, and his whole thing goes bloop. Like it isn't there. And then if he pushes in the right spot, it shoots out from his.

[Co-Host]

Muscles like you're squeezing a water balloon.

[Main Commentator]

Yeah. And it comes out about an inch and a half. I'm like, how did you even find that? And he goes, I don't know. My arm hurt. And I felt in, like, felt it in there, and then I pushed, and it shoots the skin up. I'm like, oh. Then another dude comes over, rolls his shoulder out of its socket, and in the back, he had a tank top on. On the back of his shoulder, there's a hole you can put your fist in. And I'm like, this is gross.

[Host]

Every.

[Main Commentator]

It's the Jim Rose Circus. No, scapula's back here. It was his shoulder socket, and it was just this weird. He had an accident, and I swear to God, you could put your fist in there. It was just. I had a thing, and it swelled up, and then the swelling went away, and it left me with this. And he just moves his shoulder forward, and his whole thing just caves in. I'm like, we're all so body, you know, conscious. And everybody wants to filter out all their issues. And then you get into the what's wrong with you deal. And everybody started to, like, show their problems. And none of you are flawless, for God's sakes.

[Co-Host]

Remember high school John Lewis had his chest right in the center.

[Main Commentator]

All of our chests caved in. Oh, yeah, I've seen caves.

[Co-Host]

And he'd eat soup out of it.

[Main Commentator]

Yeah, I've seen. I've seen those concave chests. They're the creepiest things in the world. There was a kid in school named Davey. It was a perfect circle. He didn't even have to, like, roll his shoulders forward. His chest always had this crater in it.

[Co-Host]

Yeah.

[Main Commentator]

Ugh.

[Co-Host]

That was it.

[Main Commentator]

He was my sit ups partner in PE in like 8th grade, 7th grade. And you could watch him go, yeah. And he thought, oh, so gross.

[Co-Host]

Lewis played football, didn't.

[Main Commentator]

Yeah. It was so weird. Yeah. But it was a. She said when you touch the bump on her arm, did it go blonde? Yeah, yeah, it was. It was very. It was. It's alive and it was weird. I was wildly creeped out by that whole thing. So if you've got something like that, show it off. Let's go crazy. It was awful.

[Co-Host]

That's nothing.

[Main Commentator]

Let me show that was what it turned into.

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[Host]

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[Main Commentator]

And then the other one, a guy just emailed me. This one, Chai Chai Rodriguez has passed away, which is a brutal one. That's a. I know him more for the joke on wkrp. Unless Nessman couldn't say his name. Machichi Rodriguez. The golfer.

[Co-Host]

The greatest ambassadors of the game.

[Main Commentator]

Is that right? Yeah.

[Co-Host]

As far as entertainment.

[Main Commentator]

Oh, well, he was funny. I know.

[Co-Host]

Yeah.

[Main Commentator]

But I think he was funny to us because we were bigoted white kids in white neighborhoods. And his name was hilarious because I've seen clips of him before. I mean, he wasn't being funny. He was just. He did the little.

[Co-Host]

You know, he put a sword dance.

[Main Commentator]

When he'd sink a pot, he'd sink a putt. And he did a little like. Like fencing, and then he'd sheath his putter. Oh, that's kind of fun. But outside of that, Chai Chai Rodriguez was more like just a. It was like he was the charro of golf.

[Co-Host]

Well, in both of them.

[Host]

How many times was he on Love Boat?

[Main Commentator]

Yeah, probably a couple. Just so they had that word Chai Chai Rodriguez on the screen. Yeah, he was sort of like, all right, we like you. Cause you're different and you got a funny name. But he didn't really do anything that was that great. He just played some golf and then had a couple moments where he was kind of knocking.

[Co-Host]

I think he won some tournaments.

[Main Commentator]

Sure, he was a good golfer, but the reason. He just wasn't a stiff white dude.

[Co-Host]

He was a. He was well known for. Not the. You know, not a goat by any means.

[Main Commentator]

Oh, no, just. It was the name. Yeah, we like Chichi Rodriguez. That's a man called Chi Chi. And then he'd do, like, funny things where he'd just lose his mind and dance for a second. And in golf back then.

[Co-Host]

And break down the third wall. He was interactive with the look.

[Main Commentator]

If Toledo played golf in the 70s, he'd be considered the clown of golf. I mean, there was nobody that was doing any. He would have been the Max Atkins of golf, but he's basically just Jack Nicklaus was the most energetic and fun interview you could get in golf in the 70s. And then chi Chi Rodriguez comes along. Hey. And he starts doing the dance with the sword. You're like, this is great. He might kill someone. Look at him out there. That Rodriguez guy's pretending to stab people. They can't help themselves. Said 70s America. Now if he played today, we'd probably try to get him deported or something. I don't know what we do. It was a good run.

[Co-Host]

It is amazing because, you know, then you have the Lee Trevino.

[Main Commentator]

Yeah.

[Co-Host]

Who they call the Mary Max.

[Main Commentator]

Super Max. The Mary Max had multiple nicknames where the word Mex was involved at the end. Can't do that anymore. Hey, Super Mex. Call me the Mary Max. Now he's doing commercials for like knee arthritis and he can't even say it. Arthritis. I have knee arthritis. Can we cut this and teach him how to say arthritis if he's gonna be a pitch man for it? When I have struggles with arthritis. Who's arthritis? Doctor? I went and I said, I believe I have arthritis. Where is he? What? In my knees. Oh, he's gone crazy. Thinks he's got a guy named Arthur in his knees. Hey. But Chi Chi Rodriguez is gone. That's. That's a tough one. It's a tough one to eat because I thought he was dead 10 years ago. I had no idea Chichi Rodrigo was still alive. But I always remember when Dr. Johnny Fever on WKRP in Cincinnati said les, what's the name of that golfer that won that tournament? Chai. Chai Rodriguez or Rodriguez. Yeah. And I pissed myself cuz that was the other one. The. What's the name of that little Mexican dog? Chihuahua. America loved being bigoted. And that's what we're trying to get back to. Evidently the fun of it all. This one says, I hope you don't have a fireside chats today because you're gonna get a bunch of angry one sided people and a bunch of conspiratorial nutbags. Well, that's a good side. We don't have one today. Adam Farrar is gonna come in here, fill in comedian that was supposed to be here has Covid. Adam's the last second replacement. So. Yeah. And other people emailing about the whole. The sprinter yesterday that, that faked dying after he came in third. Noah Lyles. It does bug me because you all. There was a kid named Sammy Armijo in New Mexico when I lived in Albuquerque. And he was a. He complied pretty well if things did not go his way. Sammy like faked broken bones. We were playing basketball in his front yard and I beat and was getting competitive. Yeah. Then I beat him probably 10 to 8. It was close. I don't know when that big a deal played again, I beat him again. Played again. I beat him again. And the next thing you know Sammy, like he's paralyzed, like he's laying in the. Ah. What happened? I don't know. It's been bothering me the whole time. And he couldn't walk. I'm like, oh, and that one, he was the first person I learned. Oh, when you lose, you can't. You always have like an excuse or an injury that's kept. You can't just go, man, I got beat today. Oh, I've got this. I've got. I hate those people. So that's kind of what I saw. And I think everybody knew a kid like that. So when Noah Lyles pretended he was dying after the 200. Look, I'm not in great running shape by any stretch. I could run 200 meters. Not as fast as him, obviously, but I could run 200 meters. And at the end, even if I had a cold, I don't need a wheelchair to leave. And he's a pristine super athlete. They put him in a wheelchair. He ran 200 meters. That's not that far. It's a quarter of the track. He does it every day to train. Constantly training and training. This particular time, you gotta wheel me out of here. It's. I think I've lost all the. I think my spine snapped. Him too.

[Co-Host]

He stole Simone Biles thunder from the previous four years, right?

[Main Commentator]

Simone's got a little bit of that. When she loses, she limps like she did it the other night when she lost that Brazilian girl. And I watched her walk over the Brazilian girl. And as she walked away, she started limping. And I'm like, maybe you got something, maybe you don't. But that's the time when you fake it the most. That's the time when you walk away going, hey, I, I want to let you know you beat me fair and square. This Bill, who said, it's only poor people that are going to be troubled. Don't bother yourself with it. He says, hey, make no mistake, I'm one of the poverty stricken West Siders that's going to get hit by that. Well, all right, Bill. Well, at least you're. That you're still a prick for throwing it out there, that it's only going to affect the pores. It's hilarious that you did it, but. Oh, there he is. This is our tribute to Chichi Rodriguez. This is. Winner of this week's Gulf Coast Golf Classic was Chai Chai Rodriguez. Chai Chai finished with a nine under par score.

[Commercial Announcer]

Chichi Rodriguez.

[Main Commentator]

Hopefully Mr. Rodriguez will play up to next competition. There you go. Thanks Les. More news lesson. Esmen. Hey. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.