09-02-25 - BR - TUE - What Types Of Kidneys Would Brady Take - Survey Finds Millennials Can't Read Wall Clocks w/Hands - Man Busted Recording Upskirts At College Library

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 09-02-25

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98KUPD, Arizona)
Date: September 2, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Overview

This episode blends the show's signature irreverent humor with discussions spanning kidney donations, generational differences in reading analog clocks, unusual viral recipes, crime stories, and viral festival content. The hosts riff on everything from organ transplant offers to bizarre internet videos, all while delivering the local flavor and camaraderie regular listeners expect.

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Key Topics & Insights

1. Kidney Donation Offers and Preferences (02:00–11:00, recurring)

• Theme: An ongoing comedic exploration of who Brady would accept a kidney from, ranging from daring daredevils to hypothetical homeless donors.
• The hosts read tongue-in-cheek offers from listeners, including trades involving generators and jokes about “homeless thoughts” transferring through organs.
• Memorable Panter:
  • Holmberg speculates on what traits a kidney from a Phillies fan might transfer, referencing organ recipient stories.
  • The crew jokes that Brady would start pushing carts, making signs, or hoarding if he got a kidney from a homeless person.
  • Offers from daredevil Spanky, people suggesting offers including "one night with Brady's wife," and more.
• Notable Quote:
  • John (02:09): “Sure would be a shame if like 50 or 60 people got in wrecks this weekend... You’re going to watch the news different.”
  • Holmberg (05:30): “Brady wants a credit report before he takes a kidney.”
• Diversity of Donor Discussion: Debates whether Brady would accept kidneys from various demographics (homeless, Hispanic, OnlyFans models, gay porn stars, redheads, Michigan Wolverines).

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2. Celebrating National Days & Fun Facts (10:11–14:30)

• National Live Fearless Day: Encouragement to live courageously, with John joking that Brady is “trolling for a new kidney."
• Telephone Tuesday: Discovery that the Tuesday after Labor Day is the nation’s busiest phone call day.
• Population Trivia: Comparing populations of Canada, California, and Tokyo, leading to astonishment at Tokyo’s density.
  • John (12:41): "Good thing they’re small... you imagine if they were Americans?”
  • Discussion of Japanese capsule hotels and the joke about Godzilla keeping Tokyo’s population in check.

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3. Generational Gaps: Reading Analog Clocks (17:02–18:00)

• Survey Insight: Most millennials and Gen Z can’t quickly read analog clocks.
  • 95% of Boomers and over 80% of Gen X can, but only about 43% of Millennials and Gen Z.
• The group riffs on uselessness of grandfather clocks, their aesthetics, and vintage timepieces as ironic decor for younger generations.
  • John (18:15): “I never got those [grandfather clocks] either... too much to tell.”

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4. Strange & Viral News Stories (19:12–29:43)

• Luggage Theft Foiled by AirTag (19:12–20:10): Man tracks his suitcase and catches the thief in an abandoned building, retrieving 90% of belongings.
• Pancake Soup Recipe Viral on TikTok (24:39–25:10): The team reacts in comic disgust to the “traditional” German dish, imagining how even Brady’s post-surgery cravings might react.
• Redhead Days Festival (28:05–29:04): Holmberg jokes about genetic “mutation” and the dangers of too many redheads congregating.
• Guinness Record for Croc Shoe Collection (29:23–29:43): John Doogie Sand Tiger owns over 3,500 pairs.

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5. Ethics and Humor in Organ Donation (20:18–32:56)

• Debating Donor Types: Would Brady take kidneys from a variety of “groups,” including OnlyFans creators, porn stars ("Think of all the stuff that’s filtered out"), gay porn stars, or women.
  • Speculates whether organs carry personality traits.
  • Uptick in jokes imagining Brady’s psyche altered by his donor’s lifestyle.
• Holmberg: (30:16) “No kidding. Think of all the stuff that it’s filtered out. That blood has been filtered. That’s a good point.”

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6. Bizarre Viral Videos & Stunts (32:24–36:09)

• Wild Clips: Soapbox derby crashes, Barbie Jeep downhills, and viral content showing everything from nose beer drinking to surprise gender-reveal pranks.
• Rednecks and Paychecks: Tournament with Barbie Jeep crash races, noted for drawing crowds “the Cardinals would kill for” (35:32).

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7. Crime, College Pranks & Social Oddities (25:28–27:21, 37:49–41:13)

• Upskirt Recording Case at UCF: Asian student busted for recording up women’s skirts, leading to a side discussion about jobs, privacy, and cultural stereotypes—with comedic exaggeration.
  • John (26:13): “Nobody’s job is to do upskirt shots. You get a selfie stick for that.”
• Weird Bathroom Humor & Shock Videos: A parade of gross-out videos—unexpected penis shots, “Boba tea” kidney stones, toilet humor—pushing the bounds of taste as only this show can.
  • John (40:05): “That isn’t a blumpkin, that’s just a lady eating poop... would you take her kidney?”

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Kidney Screening:
  • Holmberg (05:30): “Brady wants a credit report before he takes a kidney.”
• On Generational Clock Skills:
  • John (17:26): “The clock face just destroys 'em. Wow.”
• On Redhead Mutations:
  • John (28:23): “If you get redheads together, you’re gonna have a few of them genetically mutate more redheads.”
• On Donor Qualifications:
  • Brady (32:47): “You’d rather have some good years left.”
• On Taking Kidneys from Different Groups:
  • Toledo (30:46): “You would take anything?”
• On Upskirt Crime:
  • John (26:13): “Nobody’s job is to do upskirt shots.”
• Re: Viral Festival Videos:
  • John (35:24): “The Cardinals don’t get crowds like this—the Diamondbacks would kill for this.”
• On Pancake Soup:
  • John (25:10): “Even up in heaven, think that’s the grossest thing I’ve ever heard.”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |------------------------------------------------------|----------------| | Kidney Donor Bidding & Homeless Donor Speculation | 02:00–10:00 | | National Days, Populations, Tokyo | 10:11–14:30 | | Analog Clock Illiteracy | 17:02–18:00 | | Luggage Theft, AirTag Detective Story | 19:12–20:10 | | Pancake Soup Reaction | 24:39–25:10 | | Upskirt Recording Story | 25:28–26:22 | | Redhead Festival, Croc King | 28:05–29:43 | | Donor Group Ethics Jokes | 30:13–32:56 | | Viral Crash Videos, Rednecks and Paychecks | 32:56–36:09 | | Gross-Out Video Parade | 37:49–41:13 |

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Conclusion

This entertaining episode traverses serious and absurd terrain, featuring biting humor, outrageous hypotheticals, and rapid-fire pop culture references. It epitomizes "Holmberg’s Morning Sickness"—pushing boundaries while pulling laughs from even the touchiest topics, all centered around Brady’s tongue-in-cheek kidney search. Whether riffing on generational divides or the perils of organ donor traits, the team delivers sharp, often irreverent takes with their trademark chemistry.

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Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here seeing clear as a bell thanks to my friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Let the experts at the Schwartz Laser Eye center do that. Book your complimentary consultation with the gang at the Schwartz Laser Eye center and have Dr. Jay Schwartz talk to you about the best plan to make it so you don't need contacts or glasses ever again. Great eyesight is something you should not procrastinate getting. And all you have to do is go see the team at the Schwartz Laser Eye center today. Schwartz Laser Eye center, the official eye center of your diamondbacks and sons. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk again about my friends at Trajan Wealth. I always talk to you about the will and trust. The estate plan that I put together with Kent at Trajan Wealth. Kent was unbelievable. And man, you want to make sure medical power of attorney and power of attorney are established because if something bad happens and you don't have anybody speaking for you, somebody you don't know will keep control of your life even when you're not in control. All you have to do is get it done. Today at Trajan Wealth. 480-990-3300. Trades and wealth legal services are offered through trades in the state law firm llc. Morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98 Eve of pull these evil. All these precious listeners volunteering kidneys. We just had a fire truck and a ambulance go by. Watch Brady light up. Ooh. Take another guy off the list.

[Toledo]

Wait a minute. They that on purpose?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think so too. I think the fire department was listening and they're. They're going to they're going to throw the. The reds on and drive by with the sirens going every once in a while to get Brady's hopes up. Sure would be a shame if like 50 or 60 people got in wrecks this weekend. Did it over Labor Day weekend. It's usually when a lot of people are on the roads. Count on a couple of accidents. You're. You're going to watch the news different. This guy says, I'll give Brady my kidney for one night with his wife.

[Toledo]

Okay. All right.

[John Holmberg]

If she loved you. Yeah, she'd do that. I wonder if that. Yeah, I think I'd go with that.

[Toledo]

I'll ask.

[John Holmberg]

I got a 33 year old kidney that Brady can have. I'm in great shape. Minimal drinking, had a healthy diet. I've maintained this thing wonderfully. Going rate is 5k and a used generator. Sauce not accepted. 5k in an old generator? I think that's something. You have to go ask that guy to get the generator back. What do you think will happen? Brady will get his kidney or a generator first. I'm going neither, actually. But kidney's probably the safer one out of the two kidneys. Easier to get than that generator from that guy, Brady's mean friend. He wanted to pop us all in the chops for stealing something from Brady. Yeah, I stole from him. You got a problem with it, just give it back. I'm gonna pop you in the chops, big mouth. All right, nut bag. This guy says, would Brady accept a homeless person's kidney? I'm gonna answer that for him. No, he won't. And the reason why I went to one of those. After my uncle died, he gave up all of his insides. And I went to one of those parties where people, the recipients of the organs are still alive. Well, yeah, they would have to be. That would be terribly depressing.

[Toledo]

Are alive and the donors alive?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Toledo]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the other way. My uncle didn't make it. They gutted him like a trout and then they gave all of his stuff away. And we didn't know for sure where all of his things went, but one of the ladies was pretty sure that my uncle Bob gave his. Might have been a kidney or a liver or something, I don't remember. But she came by, started like getting all weepy and then they have stories and one of the guys went up there. I think I told you this before, he went up there and said that his. Her husband was not a fan, was a huge Phillies fan, and he passed away. I think it was a car wreck. He passed away Just a massive Phillies fan. The way I am with the Steelers. This guy was with the Phillies. He had a whole part of his house decked out. She's given the speech and then you meet the person through a video that was the recipient of his organs. And the dude knew a bunch of Philly stuff. He didn't know. He didn't like baseball at all. And after the kidney transplant, he. He like retained Phillies information, not knowing at all his donor and became a Phillies fan. After the surgery, it was like this weird draw to the Phillies. Now I don't know how much they made that up for people to become organ donors in the crowd, but it was really kind of. So the last thing Brady needs is some homeless guys having his thoughts transferred through his kidney transfer. You don't need that. You need somebody who. Who's had a normal life. A homeless guy. The next thing Brady.

[Toledo]

That's a nice looking grocery cart.

[John Holmberg]

He's pushing carts around. And Brady wants a credit report before he takes a kidney. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Would you. Would you. What's that? If I wouldn't trust their credit. Do I trust their organs? No, thanks. Yeah, you gotta be 750 or higher. I need to see your credit karma before I take your organs. There's no way. And Brady doesn't want some homeless kidney looking around with. You know, every once in a while Brady's. I'm covered in leeches. I'm covered in. No, you're not. It's your homeless thoughts back in again. He starts asking you for money every.

[Toledo]

Once in a while.

[John Holmberg]

What are you doing, Brady? Making a sign. For what? I don't know. I'm compelled to make signs to stand by the road with.

[Toledo]

Don't throw that cardboard away.

[John Holmberg]

Give me that. That's a good house. That's a box for a washing machine. I could use that. No, you can't. He already has hoarder in him. Imagine got a shopping cart full of beer cans that he thinks have value. He's insane. Come on. Our friend Brian Spangler. Spanky, yeah. Just sent me a picture of a semi truck that he's. That he's jumping. He said next year I'm jumping a semi truck for the world record. If for some reason I don't make it. And this guy's not kidding. This is what he does for a living. Some reason I don't make it. I'll write it down on a napkin and a Sharpie that Brady gets my kidney. That's nice. Daredevil's kidney. Thanks, Frankie Jr. And then he's got this. Look at this picture of this semi truck here. Oh man, he's leaping a semi truck. Yeah, you might want to get on. I want to see if Mr. Spangler is available. Cuz I don't think those kidneys are going to last long. Man. Oh man, how does that land? I need to see more than just a photo of a flying semi truck. How does that thing land?

[Toledo]

You might see him briefly at the Halloween party.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, when he shows up dressed as an Indian and then gets cacao. Yeah, I'll wave to him next time. This one says tell Brady I got a kidney for him. And for Ronnie, some bone marrow. Signed Rico Blades. All right, nice. Anyway, got a kidney for Brady so he doesn't have to watch the news badly anymore. You know, it's available for a fee. Name your price and Brady will pull a kidney out of you. Brady would take that homeless guy's kidney. You guys would come to work and all the copper would be missing in the walls. Yeah, that's true. We'd start doing homeless guy stuff. I want maybe young hot girl kidney in Brady. And then watch him start doing TikTok dances and come to work in those tight shorts with the.

[Toledo]

You know. Now I'd be doing a R for fall.

[John Holmberg]

Those videos for the sorority videos.

[Toledo]

Sorority rushing.

[John Holmberg]

Some of the bottom of Brady's ass hanging out of his shorts a little bit.

[Toledo]

Watch.

[John Holmberg]

Ask Caitlin if she'll give you a kidney. I mean you took her on vacation, you paid for a room. That's not bad. She owes. Hers are probably functioning at a hundred percent. Stuff them in your carcass, get them up to about 70. That's still great. We gotta get Brady back in. Back on the. Everybody's asking. Yeah, don't order. We're not. This guy says order pizza in front of him, see how mad he gets. No, don't do that. That's. We're not going to be mean to his bad kid. Get him a new kidney. Start eating pizza again and abuse it. Brady, it is time now for you to give us all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady report and it's good to have it back. Brought to you by our [e-mail]. if you have your shades and you had like I had that haboob that blew through last week. I had opened up this gigantic umbrella. You know my umbrella tail over at the rental house. I left it open, seen McLaughlin said it out loud. No chance of rain tonight. It's going to be a Nice mild night. Maybe tomorrow. So I left it open, and then that thing blew through the city. I had to drive all the way over there and put that dumb umbrella down because Scene doesn't do his job. It would have been great with All Pro Shade because when the wind gets going, they retract themselves. They've got sensors, so if they start going now, we're moving around a little too much. They retract themselves. You don't have to worry about that nonsense of find your awnings, you know, all bent up or in the pool or even worse. So check it out. AllProchade.com it's the only way to get shade in that yard of yours. Check it out. Allprochade.com Brady report.

[Toledo]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi, Brady.

[Toledo]

Happy National Live Fearless Day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

It'S also Telephone Tuesday.

[John Holmberg]

Not you. Brittany should live in great fear that this is it and just kind of take it easy. Let's not get you jumping over lakes and semis.

[Toledo]

It basically urges people to live fearlessly, encourages individuals to appreciate the people in their lives that have been there to support them. It also calls for people living without the best of or fullest expression of themselves to pursue activities that inspire courage. See what Brady's doing?

[John Holmberg]

What he's doing?

[Brady]

Trolling for a new kidney.

[John Holmberg]

Kidney.

[Brady]

Be fearless, people.

[John Holmberg]

If you're afraid of it, change your mindset. Do whatever it is you're afraid of. Like give a kidney away.

[Brady]

Put your buddy Brady down as a recipient.

[John Holmberg]

You got an igloo cooler and some ice. That's all you need. Has anyone offered that you've said no just based on who they are that.

[Toledo]

I've said no to?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

No one that wasn't honest with a minute ago. Yeah. Switzerland. You would take Switzerland's kidney?

[Toledo]

Not saying no to anyone, Right?

[John Holmberg]

You're just saying no to Swiftburg. Your eyes said no.

[Toledo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Your body says yes, but your eyes say no. If Switbert wants to hand you a kidney, you're gonna be like, I'm doing all right. I'm hanging 20 right now. It's doctor says I got a couple of months. Good enough. 22 is better than double deuce. I'll take it. I'll take a 220 versus a 80 22. Swiftbert. Magic man.

[Toledo]

And being Telephone Tuesday because Tuesday following Labor Day is the busiest business day for phone calls.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. People get back on board.

[Toledo]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

We hit in that because the next stop is Halloween. Thanksgiving. We don't have any breaks till then. It's so hard to believe we're two months away from that. That's mind boggling.

[Toledo]

Couple of basis fun facts. Canada, California and Tokyo all have very similar populations. Canada's current population estimated at 41 1/2 million. Tokyo's metro area is 41 million. It is in California it's 39.4 million.

[John Holmberg]

Tokyo's bigger than California. I didn't think it was that big. I'd have guessed maybe 25 like New York. But 40 million.

[Toledo]

It's amazing.

[John Holmberg]

Good thing they're small. Good Christ. You imagine if they were Americans and.

[Brady]

They are crammed in every single space.

[John Holmberg]

That's why now it makes sense that they sleep in drawers and stuff. And people can call that racist, but I've seen the 60 minutes where they're stuffing them in drawers like her. They'd made a joke about it on Seinfeld. Their hotel rooms are pods. They don't have any room.

[Toledo]

You can't legally get married in Ohio if you have syphilis.

[John Holmberg]

That's why they're just wondering.

[Toledo]

I didn't. I was gonna see what states then I was it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well they used to blood test you first.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe they. It might be too soon to say this, but maybe Godzilla was beneficial to the Tokyo area to kind of keep that population at bay and pop up every once in a while and clear out a million or so. 41 million people. Phoenix's traffic is 5 million.

[Toledo]

Yeah. They must just laugh.

[John Holmberg]

That's bigger. We are show low compared to them.

[Toledo]

That's mind boggling.

[John Holmberg]

I can't put my head around that. Is there a bigger city than that?

[Toledo]

Than Tokyo?

[Brady]

Mexico City maybe?

[John Holmberg]

No, Mexico city is like 25.

[Brady]

You think it's only that much?

[John Holmberg]

I don't think it's. Yeah, yeah, maybe. Is Tokyo the biggest city in the. It's got to be like India. Yeah, but do they even count if they don't have homes? Like it's like 42 million people in Calcutta are just walking around. I don't think they actually live there, so to speak. They're just kind of lost, stuck there.

[Toledo]

You're counted. You still count.

[John Holmberg]

Does the census go through and go Nahim voodoo did a vedu. I'd lived here for a long time. You don't live anywhere. You're standing outside. Morning sickness medicate, can you?

[Brady]

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[John Holmberg]

Job site with Dale, who's a framing contractor. Hey, good morning. Dale traded up to Geico Commercial Auto Insurance for all his business vehicles. We're here where he needs us most. Yep, they sure are. We make it easy for him to save on all his insurance needs, all in one place with coverage that fits his business and bottom line.

[Toledo]

Oh, I shouldn't have looked down. It's all right.

[John Holmberg]

We're so far up here. Look at me. Take a deep breath. Good. So good. Get a commercial auto insurance quote [e-mail] and see how much you could save. Get more with Geico Homburg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

Tokyo's the biggest Delhi. India's the next one.

[John Holmberg]

Old Delhi.

[Brady]

New Delhi, Delhi Deli.

[John Holmberg]

Did we get rid of the new Delhi? Has it been around long enough? We don't call it noon Delhi, just Delhi.

[Brady]

Total population, including the city and urban area, 32 million of Delhi.

[John Holmberg]

Tokyo. Tokyo's a full Chicago Bigger.

[Toledo]

Wow. Yeah, Wow.

[John Holmberg]

I had no idea.

[Brady]

Shanghai. Sao Paulo is fourth.

[Toledo]

You'd think that little island would sink.

[John Holmberg]

With 40 million people in one spot. Just seems so small. 41 million.

[Toledo]

Remember the bird from Twitter's logo?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Its name was Larry.

[John Holmberg]

Elon killed it.

[Toledo]

As in Larry Bird. That's because the co founder of Twitter Biz Stone grew up in Massachusetts. He was a huge Boston Celtics fan.

[John Holmberg]

Larry's out to pasture now.

[Toledo]

A new study found Most people under 30 can't look at an old school clock and tell what time it is right away.

[John Holmberg]

How many?

[Toledo]

95% of boomers can tell and over 80% of Gen Xers and sleep. But when it came to the millennials and gen zers, only about 43% can look at a clock.

[John Holmberg]

And no, you know what's most disappointing about that? 5% of boomers can't tell time. That shouldn't have. That they were using sundials and stuff. They should be great at telling time.

[Toledo]

It takes a while for most zoomers to figure it out. 45% said a few seconds. 6% said more than that, that they're.

[John Holmberg]

The clock face just destroys Dym. Wow.

[Toledo]

It says 56% of Americans still own an alarm clock. 54% have a wall clock. 33% have a smartwatch. 11% still have a freestanding or a grandfather clock.

[John Holmberg]

I never got those either. That's just too much to tell.

[Toledo]

My sister has one.

[John Holmberg]

It's, it's, it's.

[Toledo]

That's been the family for.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're just dumb. They take up a huge chunk of space just for the time. And they're not that good looking either.

[Toledo]

And there it's got a. Yeah, it goes well with her house.

[John Holmberg]

Other than that, she's got old.

[Toledo]

Yeah. A lot of woodwork.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And does it make noise?

[Toledo]

Yeah, it's nice little.

[John Holmberg]

Most people with grandfather clocks break them so they don't wake them up at midnight.

[Brady]

You think the cuckoo clock is still around?

[John Holmberg]

It's still around. But yeah, in Sun City, all that kind of stuff. Old weirdos who can't hear.

[Brady]

Anybody younger than do you think?

[John Holmberg]

Young people maybe. Just as sort of a novelty, there's a hot girl with a cuckoo clock in her kick ass apartment over in Scottsdale. You'll occasionally catch it in one of her Easy Kill dance video. Oh, all you have to do is buy her something vintage.

[Toledo]

Man in the LA area flew home on Friday. Couldn't find his luggage at the baggage claim. Had an air tag inside. So he checked to see where it was. Saw it was moving away from the airport toward the rideshare area. That's when he realized it had been taken. He started chasing it. Eventually saw it stop at a boarded up abandoned building about a half mile away. His partner called the cops and they responded. The officers shined flashlights inside the building, saw some movement, went outside. They found some people inside, then lined them up and one of them was wearing the dude's clothes. Wow, that was quick. The guy was allowed to collect his things, which were stolen or strewn throughout the building. He says he was able to get about 90 of his stuff back. Sounds like the police are still investigating because there's no word on any charges.

[John Holmberg]

Yet isn't that coming to America where they stole all their clothes and walking around Louis Vuitton chest? Yeah.

[Brady]

John, can you watch Brady's face as Toledo reads this text?

[John Holmberg]

Okay, Brady, you don't have to look at me.

[Brady]

How do you feel about a Hispanic kidney?

[John Holmberg]

You take one of those.

[Toledo]

See.

[John Holmberg]

They'Re bean shaped food possibilities.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Bean shaped kidney. How ironic. I'll take it. Ideos mio. Freddie would just say that all the time. Start going to the dentist at a day's end. I don't know. I just feel compelled to get my teeth done here at this hotel.

[Toledo]

You have tong Jorge. You'd have all the other guys in your. Just certain projects around the house. You know what? I can fix that.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's just doing yard work. I don't even know why I have to. Speaking of, on vacation I stay up all. I do it anyway. I stay up all night. So I had some solar lights to build. I'm being rolled really productive. So I had them at the rental house. I built their big it's. I'm putting lamp posts up. Giant ones for my basketball court. So I'm building these lights tied to the top. And I got dead tired at like one. I don't know what was going on. So I fell asleep kind of halfway. TV's on 2 in the morning. Somebody started weed eating.

[Toledo]

What? Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Two in the morning.

[Toledo]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

And I came up with the character of Mexter. He kills and does your yard work. He cleans up after by doing his Mexican serial killer. Whose calling card is that? Your perfectly manicured lawn is what the cops will find before they find you.

[Brady]

Are those his murder weapons? To all the ones.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. Kill. He kills with all of his materials. But he started to weed eat to cover up the fact that if you heard weed eater at all at 2 in the morning. Killing the person inside. Who does that? And then some guy just screamed shut the up. And I started laughing. It's like my God. And he stopped. How drunk are you?

[Toledo]

Must have old school. Like he finally was able to thread the new spool maybe.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He might have started at noon and finally got the pull through. I thought at first somebody was just revving a weird little motorcycle and then. But then it became unsee.

[Toledo]

It sound like almost like a remote.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. After a while you just realize like somebody's doing yard work. It's two.

[Toledo]

The 1.3 billion dollar Powerball jackpots in play this Wednesday. Tomorrow.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I gotta get it on that.

[Toledo]

12 tickets won a million dollars and last night's Powerball.

[John Holmberg]

12 of them, man. Gotta get on that million. A billion three, they said. Right. For tomorrow's drawing.

[Toledo]

Billion three. That's an estimated cash value of 589 million.

[John Holmberg]

What? That's well over half. That's not normal. Usually they take about 40%. That's 60.

[Toledo]

Yeah. And by the way, I thought that was about. I think that that's what I figured the payout would be out right around that. More than 40%. That's. There's.

[John Holmberg]

That's giving you 40%. They're taking 60.

[Brady]

Well, and then don't you have to pay on.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's your taxes.

[Brady]

That's your tax.

[Toledo]

Right. And then I assume gaming tax.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, I think that's all included. I think. I don't think they're taking 60 as a fee. And then you go pay another 36 plus. Plus 10 as a capital gain.

[Brady]

That would seem heavy.

[John Holmberg]

And one more. Yeah, exactly. Wouldn't be surprising. But we'll find out. Hopefully one of us will find out. That'd be great.

[Brady]

We're gonna have that office email. Would you like to get in on the $1 billion pool? No. Wintermeyer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Wintermeyer's not here. That's true. That's a good point.

[Brady]

Brady, would you take a kidney from a Shady.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God, sure. Not what you'd say, though. He's a doorbell ditching at midnight now from either because he didn't know it was Shady McCoy he thought was still playing, so he picked him to, like, have 100 yards. My favorite one. Like what? Shady retired. There's another Shady? No, there's not.

[Toledo]

For some reason. There's this recipe from 1975. It's gone viral online. It's a recipe for pancake soup.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Toledo.

[Toledo]

Tiktokers are taking to this recipe. It's a traditional German soup recipe. Sounds awful.

[John Holmberg]

It does.

[Toledo]

You make the pancakes and then you cut up into strips and then you.

[John Holmberg]

Put it in a broth Spidey.

[Toledo]

Even I up in heaven think that's.

[John Holmberg]

The grossest thing I've ever heard in my life.

[Toledo]

And I'll eat anything. Flower dumpling.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, Brady, when you said pancake, your little broken dick got hard.

[Toledo]

For a second there. Even after the cat got tugged out.

[John Holmberg]

Brady told us about his penis.

[Toledo]

Says his balls are all swelled up.

[John Holmberg]

Like a couple of eggs.

[Toledo]

Got a grapefruit. That's right.

[John Holmberg]

Don't talk about pancake soup no more.

[Toledo]

You make Toledo run around the room. We got a guy that's accused of recording oh, see, Ravi, this dude's accused of recording up a woman's skirt at the University of Central Florida's library.

[John Holmberg]

What's wrong with people?

[Toledo]

But he said his name's yonSu William Lee, 23 years old.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we just had a camera. That's racist.

[Toledo]

He's like, that was my job to.

[John Holmberg]

Take pictures of women's vaginas because the.

[Toledo]

Girl was sending those videos and getting paid for.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he got caught.

[Toledo]

He got caught.

[John Holmberg]

And the girl ran away and said, I'm not with him.

[Toledo]

They didn't get in touch with the one accuser saying, now she's saying, yeah, no, he didn't have permission. Yeah. It's like, wait a minute. This is my job.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody has that as a job. Nobody's job is to do upskirt shots. You get a selfie stick for that. If you're taking pictures of your snooch and you're throwing it out on the Internet, you're not having a. Although, if you're gonna hire anybody, have an Asian, you're gonna get thousands of pictures. There's Yun Su Lee, Yeon Su William Lee. I gotta say, I don't think that's his real middle name.

[Toledo]

Bill Miracle Hat. Looks like a Bill.

[John Holmberg]

He looks like. Yeah. Ah, my name Yunstu. Call me Bill. No. Stop taking pictures. Did my job. I take pictures of Snitch. Knock it off. William Bill Yansu Billy. I like Wild west character from China. Yansu Billy. Hee Haw.

[Toledo]

Had a Frito Lay truck rolling down Northern California River Canyon highway. It was 199 Route 199. Went over the edge, fell 150ft, end up landing upright. The guy got out of the truck.

[John Holmberg]

Was Spangler driving it?

[Toledo]

I don't know, but the pictures of.

[John Holmberg]

It were the Fritos. Safe is what you're concerned about.

[Toledo]

Chips were still packaged.

[John Holmberg]

Whoa. That's what. That's that classic shot that they go to in every movie of a car shooting off a cliff. It's that same.

[Toledo]

It does look like that.

[John Holmberg]

Holy smokes. Wow. Yeah, the whole thing's intact, like the box with the Fritos in it. It all looks good.

[Toledo]

Jeez, you missed out on this weekend. The 2025 edition of the Redhead Days Festival happened in the Netherlands.

[John Holmberg]

I had to go crazy.

[Toledo]

Hillburg, Thousands of redheads celebrate this festival every year. Get together.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not a fan of this. Because if you get redheads together, you're gonna have a few of them genetically mutate more redheads. What? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. When redhead you know, it's a mutation. It's not a. It's not a good thing. There's something wrong with you. And so when two of them get together, they're guaranteed to make a third. And we need to. We need to make it illegal for redheads to date humans. At the very least just wipe them off the planet.

[Toledo]

Wasn't Brady gingery at one point?

[John Holmberg]

Not gingery. He was leaning. He was one more speed bump on the way to the hospital to being a redhead. Also down syndrome.

[Toledo]

98.

[John Holmberg]

KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Toledo]

I've got great genes. Oh, thanks, Sydney.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they just threw half of them. Some of them are at a trash can in the hospital.

[Toledo]

This is your guy, John Doogie Sand Tiger, known as the Croc king. Earned a place in the Guinness World Record with his collection of crocs. 3569 pairs of crocs. Congratulations. Doogie Sand Tiger.

[John Holmberg]

That's good stuff. So John, how hilarious would it be after all these years if you were riding your bike over there in Sodomy Gulch and saw Brady given. Given hand jobs and BJ's in the parking lot cuz they got a kidney from a homeless gay. Tears streaming down his moon faced cheeks. From the prednisone. I'm so sorry. Jesus. I just have to do it. It's your plan. Gulp.

[Brady]

Somebody else asked if you take a kidney from an only fans person. Male or female?

[John Holmberg]

Yes. What about a porn star?

[Toledo]

Oh sure.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. Yeah, Think of all the stuff that it's filtered out. Oh, that's a good point. That thing's seen at all that is true. That blood has been like filtered. That's a good point. What about a gay porn star? Nope. Would you not take a homosexual porn star's organs?

[Toledo]

Look, kidney. Right now it's all skate.

[John Holmberg]

You would take anything?

[Toledo]

Yeah, if it's a healthy.

[John Holmberg]

As long as it tests.

[Toledo]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Boy, I don't know. But knowing what I know that part of the organ donation is that you can take on some of the traits of your organ donatee. Donate to her. What if that was guaranteed?

[Brady]

Yeah, you have a hankering for that.

[John Holmberg]

That it would. That it would creep into your brain a little.

[Toledo]

That might change things a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

The gay porn stars out most likely you wouldn't want and he died in a terrible like train wreck. You wouldn't want his legacy to live. No, no, no. It wasn't like on the rails. It was a train wreck in his world. Yeah, he got stuck in the middle of a train and they pulled his insides out.

[Toledo]

But his kid jammed up. He got jammed up.

[John Holmberg]

He got jammed up.

[Toledo]

I got two quick pretty videos.

[John Holmberg]

What about the worst of all? A woman.

[Toledo]

That'd be a tough one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you get all emotional and I'm not saying that as like women kidneys are no good. If we took on the traits of women.

[Toledo]

Well, in the flip side of it, I'd know everything.

[John Holmberg]

No, that is true. You'd never be. You never have to apologize again. They don't do that. That's good. Maybe you should take a lady's still.

[Brady]

Be heading toward menopause at that point because of his age or would it matter?

[Toledo]

That would be rough against those and baby fever stage.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and start wanting a kid in you. I don't know if it's that precise. I think you just might start liking the Phillies or something.

[Toledo]

First one, this guy gets shoved by two dudes. Kind of push him to the side and he reacts.

[John Holmberg]

Timeout. Before you hit play. Michigan Wolverine from last year's team.

[Toledo]

Like I said, right now you'd take.

[John Holmberg]

A Michigan Wolverine kidney.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What if he said that's the M logo? Yeah. What if he said. What if he said you had to start supporting Michigan and he's the only kidney that matches?

[Toledo]

Yeah, Flight that. Yeah, that'd be out. I'd be out.

[John Holmberg]

You die before you support them.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't believe you. I think you'd be wearing that.

[Brady]

You'd rather have some good years left.

[John Holmberg]

Tom Brady should have won that job. All right, go ahead. We're just in some sort of weird. A coffee shop or something. Guy just front kicked the person. This guy just little tiny person. Oh, doesn't matter. This turns whammy.

[Toledo]

How quick that happened.

[John Holmberg]

Five foot guy walks.

[Toledo]

I'm like, is that a high? I don't think it is.

[John Holmberg]

It looks just like him, right? He gets kicked by. I think it's fake too.

[Toledo]

They set that up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because why would you kick him in the first place? And then he walks back to the table where two dudes are sitting. He does two high kicks. Right. So that second looks pretty real, that first one.

[Toledo]

That dude. The second reaction is really good. I mean like stumble.

[John Holmberg]

They just pushed the guy. Yeah, he overacts the first initial push. You're right. And instead he's walking away. Pretty ridiculous though. Hey. Just being able to do that's pretty impressive. Then he took a picture up their skirts. That's William. That's Billy. Billy Singhai.

[Toledo]

Next one's some kind of. It's not a pinewood Derby. But it looks like they've made these vehicles race down the track.

[Brady]

The Red Bull Flug top.

[Toledo]

I don't know, because there's no wings on it either. I didn't notice.

[John Holmberg]

Some homemade cars out of boxes. Just goes into the crowd and kills many. Look at all those kidneys available, Brady.

[Toledo]

It's called jackpot.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That is Brady's dream. Is that unintentionally a speeding Soapbox kills 15. Oh, yeah. That's not a good thing. I need to put some. Look at the barriers. They're just tiny little sandbags. You've seen those hillbillies do the Barbie Jeep races and stuff back in the. No, like Arkansas. Oh, man. What's that? Oh, they get those Barbie Jeeps. I see what you're saying. Yeah. And they get in them. Oh, they race them downhill. Yes. These hillbillies are back there.

[Toledo]

Serious injuries.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah. You got some Pluto. See a Brady.

[Toledo]

Understand they're hurt.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my goodness. That's a video. Huge Barbie Jeeps. Oh, geez. That's no good. That one just kept spinning into the crowd. Here they come. Oh, this guy's face down on his. Into the crowd. Yeah. How many hillbillies show up for this? That's a broad, girl.

[Toledo]

Back up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's got so many STDs. There are.

[Toledo]

There's.

[John Holmberg]

Look at this.

[Toledo]

That's one of those pink ones. Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. We almost made it all the way to the mud puddle, which is the finish line. Thousands of rednecks show up to watch this.

[Toledo]

What is.

[John Holmberg]

Look at the crowd. I've never seen this in my life.

[Toledo]

Is that success when you make it. When you make a goal?

[John Holmberg]

If you're curious, it's called rednecks and Paychecks. You can Google search that.

[Toledo]

The Barbie Jeep downhill.

[John Holmberg]

Look at the crowd. The Cardinals don't get crowds like this. The Diamondbacks would kill for this.

[Toledo]

Rednecks with paychecks.

[John Holmberg]

All right, that's tough.

[Brady]

Can we organize one of these?

[John Holmberg]

No. We can't even have a golf tournament. You think you want to crash rednecks into each other.

[Brady]

Sorry, I lost my mind for a second.

[Toledo]

It.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Yeah. We're not allowed to do anything. Imagine. Hey, we got an idea. To the lawyers at Hubbard. And they pick up. They'd be, how about some nose beer? Hold on. They call the lawyers, and they'd be like, hold on. I'll call our Hubbard lawyers. Hey, guys, it's John out in Phoenix. We wanted to have a contest out here. Golf tournament. No, no. We want to do we want to smash rednecks into each other? That's when you call the executives at Hubbard. Here's a new way to drink beer. Asian guy is drinking beer through his nostrils.

[Brady]

Is he? Or is it pouring out?

[John Holmberg]

No, look at him. It's going right in. He's not spilling a drop. His face is so flat he can drink with his nose. He's not even sure it's not going in his mouth. Oh, my God. Wow. Kim Jong Un can pound beer through his nose. That's amazing. Holy cow. Maybe we should start listening to North Korea. They. They may have some new ideas. Oh, boy. Little video for you. Here's a girl. Oh, looks like she's performing oral on another girl.

[Toledo]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's a tiny little fella. So her face is over the genitals to make it appear to be girl on girl action. And then she lifts her head off in a 1 inch. It's almost girl on girl at that point. It is. I'd rather be. Oh, my God. Would you take that guy's kidney, Brady?

[Toledo]

Yep. There you go.

[John Holmberg]

Here's the girl walking through the. Oh, she's out in the up. She's been hooked by a fisherman and he's got her shirt. Oh, he's accidentally taking her shirt off with his fishing hook. He gives her his fishing vest because he's.

[Brady]

Show me your fish.

[John Holmberg]

There's her. Oh, my God. It turns out it's a fella. And the fellow with Kansas now raping the fisherman in the woods. This beautiful penis having. It's got the Kai music going too. Is she tied on? She's strapped on. No, no. If you. Oh, yeah. That's a big hand. That's a fella. That's a big feather. That was unexpected. I did not. You could have given me a thousand guesses. If you deposit that and said, what happened? We had to play that. Pause it. Oh, what happens? And then. And then we'll have a little thing on what happens. None of us would have. Well, that's a fella.

[Toledo]

I'm not feeling too good right now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think you need to turn away or take some pain pills. All right, little shooting action. Here's a penis. We're. Oh, God. It's got like salmon eggs in it. Peeing out. Yes, like little salmon egg.

[Toledo]

Boba tea.

[John Holmberg]

Boba tea.

[Brady]

What kidney stones look like, Brady?

[John Holmberg]

That's what I was wondering. No, these are perfect circles. What's in there? I don't know. They. It said BB's, but those aren't babies. Rubber BB oh, those little nerf BBC how to get them in there? Wow, how many videos have we seen? And. Yeah. Did they send over a blumpkin? I bet they did. Morons. It's just entitled. You asked for it. Oh, it's a blumpkin, isn't it? Oh, God. Oh, gosh. She's got it all over her face. Oh, she's covered in poop. Why aren't. Oh God.

[Toledo]

This is again. I can't watch. It hurts. It hurts. You asked for it.

[John Holmberg]

Turn it on. Enough.

[Toledo]

That mask isn't helping.

[John Holmberg]

There's still like two minutes left. What are you doing?

[Toledo]

That's good.

[John Holmberg]

That isn't a blumpkin. That's just a lady eating poop. That's not a plumpkin. Oh, God.

[Brady]

Definitely is not.

[Toledo]

We didn't ask for that.

[John Holmberg]

That was not what we asked. Oh, my God. And she took a little one out. Ate it. She just ate it. Would you take her kidney? Well, I'm there. Bathrooms make me hungry now. Oh my God, my eyes. This guy says about our earlier conversation about ding dong ditching. He says maybe that's all Toledo's dad did to his mom like 50 something years ago. He's just hiding. That could be. It was just a really elaborate doorbell ditch. He rang her bell and then disappeared for half a century. Wow. Oh my God. That one got me. There you go. Everybody. That is your Brady report. It's 98 KUPD. Ugh.

[Toledo]

Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard have of this.