09-02-25 - FULL SHOW - TUESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98KUPD) – Sept 2, 2025: Full Show Summary

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Episode Overview

This post-Labor Day episode marks a poignant and lively return for the crew of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness. The team—John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo—reconvenes after personal health crises and loss, discussing recovery, mortality, pop culture, football, and the unvarnished realities of daily life with their signature Arizona bluntness. The show weaves heartfelt updates with irreverent humor, philosophical tangents, and plenty of offbeat banter.

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1. Team Health Updates: Brady’s Surgery & Toledo’s Loss

Main Discussion (00:37–17:16)

• Brady’s Kidney Surgery:

  • John details Brady’s recent kidney removal due to a cancerous tumor—”bigger than they thought it was” and compared humorously (if disgustingly) to a bad restaurant meatball.
  • Brady describes improved energy, color, and reduced swelling post-surgery.
    • “You look different… You look healthy.” —John (02:01)
  • Post-operation, Brady’s kidneys are at 22% function, which, though better than feared, signals lifestyle changes and weight loss for future eligibility for a kidney transplant.
    • “Your goal weight is 180… doctor said, get that weight under control.” —John (10:05)
  • Diet talk: Boiled chicken and green beans in the hospital, plus healthy home-cooked meals from wife Ronnie.
    • “I had a turkey sandwich… liking the rye.” —Brady (11:26)
  • Entertains with dark humor about his new health journey and impending transplant timetable.

• Toledo’s Family Loss:

  • Recently lost his mother; details the emotionally complex experience of being present for her passing.
    • “When it’s over, the sense of relief and a little sense of guilt… So happy she was gone.” —Toledo (13:58)
  • Dark, oddly comforting humor emerges about his stepdad’s odd detachment:
    • “If she was a dog, I would have taken her out back and shot her.” —Toledo's stepdad (14:42)
  • Shared reflections on grief, relief, and the strange relief of end-of-life care.

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2. Classic Morning Banter & Signature Segments

• Coyotes Mating in Holmberg's Yard (18:07–22:44)

  • John relates hilarious bewilderment at seeing two coyotes copulating in his front yard after a storm; ponders Native American symbolism and runs through possible meanings and absurd futures.
    • “I’m like, is that my dog? Two coyotes just banging away in my front yard…” —John (18:07)
    • The crew riffs on the spectacle, cultural superstitions, and John’s comic dismay.

• Football & College Sports Chat (27:23–34:41)

  • John's anticipation for the NFL season, skepticism about college football rankings, and a digression about over-hyped preseason numbers.
    • “How do you have the number one team in the country with a quarterback you’ve never seen play?” —John (29:06)
  • Dallas Cowboys’ management decisions and Jerry Jones’ press habits are lampooned.
  • The ongoing friction of age in professional sports (Tom Brady’s late-career successes) gets the usual “Holmberg take.”

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3. National Lampoons: Doorbell Ditching, Etiquette, and Blunt Realities

• Modern Pranks Gone Wrong (66:48–78:55)

  • The team reminisces about “doorbell ditching” (ding-dong ditch) and the grim reality that pranks now sometimes end in violence or tragedy.
    • An 11-year-old killed in Houston for doorbell ditching sparks a conversation about how these pranks used to be innocent fun.
    • “If you’ve ever been shot at doorbell ditching, you’re terrible at it.” —John (80:34)

• Bathroom Boundaries in Relationships (53:38–61:36)

  • Extended comedic debate about couples’ bathroom habits, privacy, and relationship taboos.
    • “There’s great shame in our poos. You can’t complain that your wife doesn’t blow you anymore if you leave the bathroom door open.” —John (60:27)
  • ‘Training’ a partner to behave a certain way draws heated responses—especially from the men on the show.

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4. Organ Donation, Kidney Candidacy, and Morbid Practicalities

• Brady Kidney Donor Segment (84:03–92:51)
  • Comically dark negotiation for Brady’s kidney future: Who’s eligible, whether he’d accept kidneys from “homeless guy,” “gay porn star,” or even a “Michigan Wolverine.”
    • “If I wouldn’t trust their credit, do I trust their organs? No.” —John (98:03)
    • Listeners call in with odd/bragging offers for kidney swaps—“I got a 33-year-old kidney… 5k and a generator.”
    • Candid, irreverent, and empathetic for those navigating real-life organ donation.

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5. Pop Culture, TV/Film, and New Releases

• Hot Releases (157:15–174:41)
  • The crew previews streaming debuts & shows like:
    • Netflix’s “Wednesday,” “The Paper” (an Office spin-off), “The Runarounds,” new Spike Lee & Denzel movie “Highest to Lowest,” HBO’s “Task and Mercy,” and more.
    • Commentary centers on aging actors, diversity, tropes in media, the rush of “influencer”/cult documentaries.
  • New music features Glenn Hughes, David Byrne, Testament, Scorpions, Soul Fly, and AI-generated oddities like “Lick It Till I’m Done.”

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6. “N-word or F-word” and Listener Interaction

• Returning Game: (171:02–172:16)
  • The crew plays the “N-word or F-word” game, guessing which explicit lyric will crop up first in an early ‘90s King T hip-hop track.
  • Characteristic blend of irreverence and nostalgia.

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7. Unfiltered Advice, Offbeat Observations, and the Show’s Heart

• Random high points and off-color but heartfelt outbursts:
  • “I’m the biggest pussy in the world. I couldn’t even see it.” —John on dogs in pickup beds (138:39)
  • Brady’s high-on-oxy antics, chicken wing temptation, and ongoing struggle to balance humor with health.

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• On Recovery & Friendship:
  • "You look. You look a little more awake, I guess, would be the words I'd use." – John to Brady (03:55)
• Gallows Humor on Grief:
  • "If she was a dog, I would have taken her out back and shot her." – Toledo’s stepdad (14:42)
• Surgery & Food:
  • “The real work begins now. Your goal weight is 180.” – John (10:00)
• Coyotes in the Yard:
  • “There’s just two coyotes just banging away my front yard. Hey, hey, hey!” – John (18:07)
• On Bathroom Etiquette:
  • "There’s great shame in our poos. You can’t complain that your wife doesn’t blow you anymore if you leave the bathroom door open.” – John (60:27)
• On Organ Donation:
  • “Would you... accept a homeless person's kidney?... If I wouldn’t trust their credit, do I trust their organs? No.” – John (98:03)
• Football Fandom:
  • “I hate when old people do good at things. Hate it. I like my sports to be extraordinary and young.” – John (33:51)
• On DIY Pranks:
  • “If you’ve ever been shot at doorbell ditching, you’re terrible at it.” – John (80:34)

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Memorable Moments

• Brady displaying his (healing) surgery scar, launching a wave of disgust and jokes from the crew (03:10–03:46).
• The show’s mixture of heartfelt sincerity and radio shock-jock irreverence, especially around death, illness, and organ donation.
• Hokey but genuine offers from the audience to donate organs—and John’s skepticism of their “poor people kidneys.”
• Sprawling, un-PC debates on etiquette, tradition, and what it means to “grow up” in Arizona.

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Conclusion

This episode careens from medical scares and raw discussions about mortality and grief, into uncensored comic relief, sports and pop culture chat, and the anxieties/absurdities of daily life. It’s signature HMS—a testament to gallows humor, camaraderie, and a refusal to sanitize real-life struggles, all offered up with both heart and gleeful offense.

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For New Listeners:
This summary captures both the gravity and comic spirit of Holmberg's Morning Sickness. If you missed the full show, you’ll come away with the crew’s updates, their outlook on life/health, and plenty of the signature banter Arizona’s morning radio is known for.

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Transcript

[Announcer]

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[Brady]

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[John Holmer]

It's John Holmer here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk again about my friends at Trajan Wealth. I always talk to you about the will and trust. The estate plan that I put together with Kent at Trajan Wealth. Kent was unbelievable. And, man, you want to make sure medical power of attorney and power of attorney are established. Because if something bad happens and you don't have anybody speaking for you, somebody you don't know will keep control of your life even when you're not in control. All you have to do is get it done today at Trajan Wealth. 480-990-3300. Trajan wealth legal services are offered through Trajan Estate law Firm, llc. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday. It is legal to punch someone who says it feels like a Monday. It's 5:45. This is the morning sickness. And boy, we're living up to the name. Look who's back. My name's John. There's Brady. He's up and running and all right. Sorta. Toledo's back from his bounce back holder. He's gotta leave again. Brett's here. Good lord, this place a mess. Feeling pretty good. We move forward and first things first. Brady. I saw him at the hospital over the last week. He's feeling good. He's upright. Your skin's a better color. Like you look. I didn't realize.

[Toledo]

Good.

[John Holmer]

You may not have looked healthy before and I. You know, when you're around somebody all the time, you're like, oh, I didn't even see it. You look different. Your eyes look better. You look healthy. You look. Yeah, I'm sure you do, but you look vibrant.

[Toledo]

Interesting.

[John Holmer]

It is interesting because it was only, you know, hospital. You don't expect much.

[Toledo]

Yeah, I mean, I can tell little things like my difference in my legs.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

They're not as swollen as they had been.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, your body's got a function without that glop in it. For those who don't know, Brady had a kidney removed that had a disgusting meatball in it. It was black. It looked like a. Like something you'd send back. He sent me a picture of the kidney, something you'd send back at a restaurant. Oh, let's see it. Oh, nice. You're shaved up. Scar. Look at this, by the way. Never ever lift your shirt up like that again without warning me first. You have to tell everyone. No, it isn't the only way you can pull. Pull it off, but it is like. Yeah, you need to. You need to not do that twice again. He's pulled his shirt up, but, yeah, they cut you right through the center there and got your kidney out. And they pulled that thing out. I saw a picture, and it was like, blech. That was disgusting.

[Toledo]

Bigger than they thought it was.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, it's nasty. But all is well with the cancerous part of the kidney. They didn't see it anywhere else so far. So far, they're keeping.

[Toledo]

I meet with them tomorrow, go over the pathology and how everything's going.

[John Holmer]

Yep. Okay, good. And you're feeling good. But it is weird to see. I'm not kidding either. It's like, do you before and you now. It's a different look. Like you're. You look. You know when you see somebody who's like, sure. And then you're like, they're not healthy, but. Because you haven't seen them forever. Yeah, we see him every day.

[Toledo]

You got a part removed from you.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, but. But when you see somebody every day who's getting sick, you don't notice the difference because it's subtle.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

But this is. There's a drastic change.

[Toledo]

Well, I hope that's a good one.

[John Holmer]

It's a good change.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

You look. You look a little more awake, I guess would be the words I'd use.

[Toledo]

Have been off the oxy for you.

[John Holmer]

Took them 10 hours. Yeah, it's not. Well, don't, for our sake. You're not driving, so it's all right. Just.

[Toledo]

Yeah, I know. I got it with me just in case.

[John Holmer]

But right now, it's ahead of that pain. You start taking it after. It hurts.

[Toledo]

Like, even getting up in this chair. Thought, oh, how's that gonna go?

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Well, you slice open a stomach, and the next thing you know, there's some. There's some pain probably involved. Well, that's good. And so all that's good. And then now we start the real hard work of making sure that you get a kidney stuffed in there where the old one was, right?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. And that's next. And they go through your back on that one. You're gonna get some cool scars.

[Toledo]

Yeah, I think they can do it either side.

[John Holmer]

You think they'll cut you open in the middle, go back in through that first scar. Oof.

[Toledo]

Yeah, I'm not sure. We'll go.

[John Holmer]

We'll find out. Yeah, you'll. He should have done some reading, but, you know, you'll figure it out as you go.

[Toledo]

Well, I asked him what. He put it on the same side or, you know, in the mission. He's. He said, there's a front area that we can put it in. And then, you know, obviously there's a. The space is still available.

[John Holmer]

There's an open. Yeah, there's some real estate. You had a.

[Toledo]

You got some real estate in there.

[John Holmer]

You evicted a guy, so.

[Toledo]

Yeah, but two guys, really.

[John Holmer]

Well, yeah, because that third thing was in there disgusting. So. Yeah, they don't. They don't tell you, like, right away whether you've. Like, they can't test and say where else it might be. That's got to be off.

[Toledo]

You have to. Yeah, you gotta follow up. You know, I'll do some more labs and then.

[John Holmer]

But they couldn't, like, right off the bat, biopsy that, say. Okay, we gotta. This is one of those aggressive ones. And we're gonna look here and here and here. Like, I've seen your blood and stuff.

[Toledo]

Well, I think they have it, but I. I guess the results don't come in overnight or something.

[John Holmer]

Man, doctors got to get on that. Everything should be overnight. I agree. Everything they should, like. They should never put anything in a tube and not test it right away. There's got to be something. Anyway, we're good. Welcome back.

[Toledo]

Yeah. It'll be eight days since the removal. Yeah, that's that. We're finding that, you know, tomorrow at 11.

[John Holmer]

And you have to show up for that. They can't just call you sometime along the way?

[Toledo]

Yeah. We meet face to face.

[John Holmer]

It's just a dick move to get some cash out of you.

[Toledo]

Well, that and they're checking everything over.

[John Holmer]

I make sure you're all right.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

You feel better, though? Well, I mean, obviously, the surgery Part makes you feel like crap.

[Toledo]

Definitely. You know, you could feel it was the first set of stairs.

[John Holmer]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Stairs yet?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

How's that? A little winded.

[Toledo]

Felt a little bit for sure. Like if I had to go three. Three more sets.

[John Holmer]

Oh, yeah. Oh, you weren't gonna make it. Yeah. You're not gonna do that stair climb. You were hoping to do a couple. We're gonna be there. Well, you might be there. I didn't say we would up. I am. I am shocked, though, that you're not having to wear the compression socks. The. The circulation.

[Toledo]

Maybe that'll change.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, but they would. But they would have made.

[Toledo]

You should have left with them.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, they would have made you wear them. Usually they make you after anesthesia. You have to wear those for weeks.

[Toledo]

Yeah. And I think they were, you know, we were taking. Drawing blood every.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

A couple times a day because usually.

[John Holmer]

They make you wear those weird thigh high stockings for like four or five weeks. They tried to get me. I only did it for a couple because they're like. Yeah, you've been through anesthesia. You sat. You know, you're gonna be. You're gonna be sedentary for a few days, and you were, you know, up and down, but not a ton. And that's the more dangerous thing.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

You can clot and then get up and drown yourself in blood. So I was kind of looking forward to you wandering around in shorts and those beautiful thigh high stockings that they make you wear, but nothing yet. All right, well, good.

[Toledo]

Maybe tomorrow.

[John Holmer]

No, they won't. They wouldn't do it now if they didn't do it yet. They won't just go. All right. By the way, we forgot this. There's. You'd sue them immediately.

[Toledo]

Yeah. If I think of were, you know, swelling up a lot, you definitely would wear them.

[John Holmer]

But that's a strange thing, especially with that. That your blood flow. I. That shocks me a little because that seems like now I'm mad that they made me do it the whole time. If you lay in a hospital bed for two days, they always tell you, you got to wear these socks for the rest of your life.

[Toledo]

Was that also for the shoulder?

[John Holmer]

And all of them, every time they put you under anesthesia and that. And then you lay there for.

[Toledo]

Because for sure, you know, you're messing with joints too.

[John Holmer]

No, it's just your anesthesia and your blood and just being said clot and get up and get drowned by your blood, which is. I don't know. But he's better. That's a good thing.

[Announcer]

A bunch of people welcoming you back on email. And a few people want to know. First meal after surgery.

[John Holmer]

That's right. Oh, I jinxed him. I told him. I said, enjoy your boiled chicken, buddy. And what'd you have? When I showed up at the.

[Toledo]

At the lovely chicken breast with green.

[John Holmer]

Beans, this thing was the plague. To Brady, it was. I walk by, I see two asparagus sprigs sticking out of the. You know, the little cap on top of the thing. I'm like, oh, you got your meal, huh? And he goes, you jinxed me. Because it was boiled chicken. And I opened the top of it, and it was untouched. This guy's not touching that. It was not. What's the first thing you eat out of the hospital?

[Toledo]

Out of the hospital.

[John Holmer]

Did you stop off something on the way home?

[Toledo]

No.

[John Holmer]

All right.

[Toledo]

No. What did Ronnie make? She made a chicken noodle soup.

[John Holmer]

There you go. Yeah, that's. That's pretty good.

[Toledo]

Yep.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Can't go out of the can. That's a lot of salt.

[Announcer]

Tong didn't sneak a meal in.

[John Holmer]

Is anyone at your window?

[Announcer]

That's what we're wondering.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, we're wondering if that much. Just quiet down, Tom. Window opens. Give me that. That's good stuff, buddy.

[Toledo]

Had the buckeye boys over for the game on Saturday.

[John Holmer]

Yep.

[Toledo]

And I had sliced cucumbers and some hummus.

[John Holmer]

Hey, that's good for you, Brady. Yeah, I know it sounds terrible.

[Toledo]

Couple of pita chips.

[John Holmer]

That's good. Low salt chips. Good on you. The real work begins now. I told Ronnie, your goal weight is 180.

[Toledo]

Ronnie's been cooking up a storm.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, Good. Your goal weight is 180. Because that's a first. I talked to your doctor, by the way. When we left the hospital, Frank Caliendo went with me, and we went out there, and Brady was a little confused because he kept looking at the. We were very worried about him because it said, pre surgery, your kidneys were running at 34.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

And then after, with just one, you were at 22. And the doctor said, hey, that's better than we thought. And Brady's like, 22, which is good. And I'm like, no, it is not good. It's just better than dying, which is the next thing. And Frank looked at me, and I'm like. I just took my head. I'm like, he's on drugs. And then Brady said to us later, we just gotta keep that number going down. Like, no, no, no, no, no. That's. That's death. Any lower Than this. You need that number to stay right where it is. Which is a good thing that it wasn't at 15 like they expected. So I talked to your doctor after. Or a doctor, not the guy who did the work. And I said, all good in there on this thing? He said, yeah, I think so. He said, he's got a long road ahead of him. And I'm like, what's the most important thing? He goes, get that weight under control. And I said, all right, what's the goal weight? And I threw it out before he even answered. I'm like, 185. He goes, that would be a dream. I'm like, awesome. That's what we're doing. Brady's dropping a 185. A healthy weight makes it a lot easier on that single kidney. And then the new kidney gets introduced to this beautiful new house. It's gonna be great.

[Brady]

The texters sound a little skeptical about the vegetables too.

[John Holmer]

Oh, yeah. No.

[Brady]

Were there nibbles or were there actual portions?

[John Holmer]

I'll just take tong will be in the window in an hour. We're good.

[Brady]

So you can tell the doctor I ate the vegetables.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Not the full portion now. Did you eat? I had a turkey.

[Toledo]

I had a turkey sandwich.

[John Holmer]

Okay.

[Toledo]

Each day, Ronnie made that wheat bread. Rye.

[John Holmer]

Rye bread. Better. All right.

[Toledo]

And I'm liking the rye.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, you gotta stay off that white flour now. That's gotta go.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You know what I mean? I see the health that you're talking.

[John Holmer]

About now he looks different. Yeah, it's good. It's like your face. You do. You must have looked horrible, and we didn't even know it.

[Toledo]

Well, you look like a. I'm probably down 12, 15.

[John Holmer]

No, you still look really fat. I'm just saying you look healthy. Well, what a dick. I'm just saying. I mean, he's gonna have to take some punches, right? Just can't hit him in the tummy. And we're not saying you look like you've lost weight here. It's not. You're not a tick tock model. But we're just saying your eyes and your skin look different.

[Toledo]

That's good.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, we want.

[Toledo]

We want the color in there.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, yeah. That's the thing. And I. You know who said it to me is Frank came in once, and he goes, he doesn't look good. And I'm like, really? Said, I haven't noticed any, like, visible change. He goes, no, he just. It just looks tired and unhealthy. I'm like, wow. And you don't today. So that's great. That's great to see.

[Brady]

So the kidney and tumor weighed 10 pounds.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, it was big. Did you see a picture of that? Holy smokes, man.

[Toledo]

It was enlarged, ugly.

[John Holmer]

It looked like if you go to, like, an Italian restaurant, somebody tells you, like, if Larry said, oh, you got to try this Italian restaurant, you're like, okay, what do you get? You get the lasagna, and it shows up in, like, one of those little bowls, like, I was serving gravy dishes, and it just looks a little like the cheese is burned and the sauce isn't exactly the right color. And you'd be like, oh, Larry, he likes Italian restaurants. Don't look at that. It looks like a bad Italian dish. Brady's showing the picture now. Disgusting. You'd send it back after a bite. You'd be like, oh, this meatball tastes like a tumor.

[Toledo]

It was a brisket.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. It's disgusting. And then Toledo's back as well from his mother passing a week and a half ago, which stinks. But welcome back to you as well. And you got to fly out Thursday. Thursday for a service.

[Brady]

For the service on Friday, man. The adoptive side of the family is Seventh Day Adventists. They go to church on Saturday. So my stepdad's like, nope. Want to knock it out on Friday because they all got church on Saturday.

[John Holmer]

They're not willing to, like, double dip.

[Brady]

I'm sure they're willing to do whatever.

[John Holmer]

It's.

[Brady]

My stepdad's like, I don't want to mess with it.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. So, yeah. I just want to deal with these. Why even do it, then? Just have a private one and let them have theirs.

[Brady]

It is kind of, but, you know.

[John Holmer]

Not a ton of it just is. So you got to fly back on Thursday. Yeah. Say that you're doing all right.

[Brady]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Toledo]

It's.

[Brady]

I think I told you guys in text. It's weird, the sense of maybe you felt it, Brett.

[John Holmer]

But when.

[Brady]

When it's over, the sense of relief and the little sense of guilt. You feel that for being really glad that they're gone.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Like, I was so happy that she was. She was gone.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Because it wasn't going the wrong way. Was going to be suffering.

[Brady]

Everything we talked about on this show, it's the worst thing to ever see a person pass away.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. It is there when it happened. Yeah. Oh, my.

[Brady]

She is holding my hand, and I kind of looked at my stepdad, and.

[John Holmer]

I'm like, that's it.

[Brady]

I think she's gone.

[John Holmer]

Wow.

[Brady]

And so surreal. She has A little finger monitor for her. Her blood oxygen.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So we're putting that on there, and it's detecting a little. A little murmur.

[John Holmer]

Something, maybe. Yeah, something.

[Brady]

So I was kind of like, all right. And we called the. Called the hospice nurse, and we're like, I think she passed. And my stepdad. You gotta understand him, he comes over and he's so happy. He was like, I'm so glad all this BS is over, really. And he says, if she was a dog, I would have taken her out back and shot her.

[John Holmer]

Well, that's not. That's not what you say when the body's still there.

[Toledo]

I know you'll understand, boy.

[John Holmer]

You're married. I know you know what love feels like, and you just want to kill him a lot of the times. And, man, did I ever want to shoot this one. Anyway, sorry you lost your mom. Wow. You know what? Your stepdad's worse than your real dad.

[Toledo]

I would have done it three years ago.

[John Holmer]

I should have shot this woman 10 years ago.

[Toledo]

Wahoo.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Can I still shoot her? She's not going to feel it now and just let me have this. Wow. Well, there you go. Sorry to hear that. Especially that last part. Rich, maybe on second thought, he shouldn't do the eulogy.

[Toledo]

Oh, I don't think he is.

[John Holmer]

What's his name? Rolly. Rolly.

[Brady]

Roland Rolly.

[John Holmer]

God, so Hillbilly Montana. I love Rolly already. Well, I'm sorry I lost your mother there, boy, but I'd have killed her years ago. It's up to me. This lasted a little longer than we thought. Well, good. And I'm glad. And those are those moments when I understand what Rollie's saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's better ways to euthanize. Yes. But he's saying, wouldn't it have been nice to have.

[Toledo]

We had to wait and watch?

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Yeah. You gotta sit and watch somebody pass away.

[Brady]

For me, it was 25 hours from when I touched down Wednesday to when she passed.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And so for him, it had been about eight days from when she really took a turn.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And it was.

[John Holmer]

And he's been watching this go that direction all the time. You actually. Your text came in and said you wouldn't recognize her when you first looked. I didn't even know that was. That's terrifying. All right. Yep. Brett, you're doing all right.

[Announcer]

As well as can be.

[John Holmer]

Worst thing I got going on is that I have that low tire warning on my Jeep. And I know you guys have problems. I didn't think of me doesn't no one ever think of me.

[Announcer]

What are you going on?

[John Holmer]

I don't know. So I put air in it. It's still there.

[Toledo]

Let me take a look at it.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, let's get Brady down there to start even tires around the high lift. Yeah, yeah. Let's get you pumping that up. You do anything anymore? You look all healthy now. Would you just sit there like a lump? The. Yeah. And I can't. I'm like, God damn it. I just spent a bunch of money on this thing to get her, and I put air in it. And then I hit the curb this morning and I heard, and I'm like, do I have a flat tire? I can't even tell. Everything seems to be just fine. But that's my. I mean, you guys can sit and cry and bitch about your problems all day long. Think of me.

[Announcer]

I don't know how you do it.

[John Holmer]

I don't need. Thank you. Thank Brett for the alternative.

[Brady]

Is Megan driving you in?

[John Holmer]

No, I got two cars for that reason. One breaks, I got the second one, and then I need Native Americans to help me out last night. Yes. What? No, I'm not writing any checks for that. I didn't say engines. I said Native Americans. Well, Toledo's a jerk for even acting like I have to pay a fine for that. Who knows what you have to pay fines for? But I was last night. That storm rolled through. I went to dinner with Megan's fake grandma Paula, who's lovely, Just one of the nicest. We love hanging out with her. She's 94 years old. She's so quick and so, like, you feel like you're just talking to one of us, except maybe Brady. She's a little quicker than Brady. Like, Brady's going through a thing. So let's not compare them yet. We'll find out who's healthier in a day or two, but.

[Toledo]

Good morning.

[John Holmer]

Hey. Just now figured out it's morning. So we get back, and I'm in the front yard after that little storm rolled through, and I looked over, and I'm like, what the hell is that? And, you know, front yard's kind of long. It's a big, long front yard. And I'm looking at him like, is that one of my dogs? I'm like, he's got something. What's going on over there? So I start walking over, and there's just two coyotes just banging away my front yard. Hey, hey, hey. I'm like, get out. Then I got nervous because I recognized one of the, like, a tail and I'm like, that's coyote. And he's got something. And I'm like, oh, boy. They have neighbor dog, a cat or something. Like, oh, this isn't good. Didn't hear any squealing or anything. And then the one on the bottom looks over at me like, hey, pervert. And so I'm sitting there and I'm staring. I'm like, what does it mean to see two coyotes in your yard after a storm? And then. So I got in my car and I, like, drove up on the edge and put the lights on them because they weren't budging for me. I'm like, I don't know what to scream at a coyote. It makes. They're looking at me like, knock it off. We're getting banging. I'm getting laid, man. Who's this guy? What are you, Dean Stormer? Get out of here. So I get the car and put the lights on them. They're jogging down the road, looking at me like, come on. Are you kidding me? It was right in mid thrust, buddy. And they. They ran down the road a little bit. And I have pictures of them. I've got every light on my Jeep. It's 360 degrees of light. This thing is a UFO. It's glowing on its way down the street. And they stop in the middle of the road and look at me like, nah, he's just gonna follow. Just starts humping her again, like, what in the hell is going on? I don't even know. It's breeding season.

[Toledo]

Gotta get it done getting it out.

[John Holmer]

But I need Native Americans to let me know what the. What does that mean? Yeah, when you see two coyotes banging in your yard. Oh, no. Trying to hold back in a bit for so long. I think he can see us. That turns me on like a baby. Yeah, it was weird. I should have. I should have turned the stereo a little bit. Hey, guys. Keep it moving. I actually had it half.

[Toledo]

Someone's gonna be moving in at your place.

[John Holmer]

What?

[Toledo]

That. That's what it means.

[John Holmer]

That means that I get another. Isn't that up to me?

[Toledo]

No, this is the symbolism.

[John Holmer]

The symbolism is that someone will.

[Toledo]

They're procreating. They're. It's creating more people.

[John Holmer]

No, that's not how you make people, Brady. Somebody needs to talk to you.

[Toledo]

You're gonna knock on the door. Like, I need a place to live.

[John Holmer]

You think a person's coming out of that coyote? I don't think I. Give me some of those pills, all right? The drugs are gonna make comments like that fairly Common.

[Toledo]

Just wait.

[John Holmer]

Well, it doesn't mean that just because two coyotes banged in my yard. If it is a Native American tradition that a guy's got to move in with me, I can't say no or what? You saw two coyotes have sex in your front yard? I live here now. No, you don't. Get out of here. I'm gonna call the police. Nobody's gonna, Grace. Not to me. I just saw coyotes banging. That doesn't mean you get to stay here. I am chief Two dogs. I am the one who. You see two dogs in the front yard. It's called to me now, I would hope that it's one of those ancient traditions where some 40 foot, you know, ancient spirit has to come live in my backyard. That would be pretty cool. Not some Indian with a hobo sack. He's not getting in. He's not staying. He's going to jail if he starts hanging around the property too much. It was weird because normally they just scattered. You know, these two fearless. They had no. I do like that song.

[Toledo]

They didn't go in at it for a while. That's why evidently I had to just. And couldn't stop. Had to finish.

[John Holmer]

The funny part was he. And that's kind of what I regret not. I should have just watched that because I've never seen that before.

[Announcer]

Just wait for the coyote. O face.

[John Holmer]

And then he just goes to sleep in my lawn. And she just puts her little coyote hands on her hips. Really turns the TV on. Go get me something to drink. She goes and gets him a towel out of the bag. You know, it would have been awesome. Hey, Johnny, you got a smoke? Yeah. Come over here, kid. Thanks for letting us use your yard. That was outstanding. Yeah. I don't know, but it was weird because she was on the ground like normally.

[Toledo]

Almost like laying flat.

[John Holmer]

She was like on her side on the ground and he had her down. And I thought he was missionary style. What are they doing over there?

[Toledo]

Sort of like side door.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, kind of side door in that. Like, one of her legs was up by her chest and the other one was straight.

[Announcer]

All right.

[John Holmer]

Hit her from the side.

[Toledo]

From behind.

[John Holmer]

It was. Yeah, he was kind of. He was cutting into the ways. Tong. I'm just going to call it the tong where he delivers through the window and nobody knows was. It's weird to. To have seen that. And then I wanted to, like, I wanted to. Well, I chased him down the road and then they kept trying to run back. Like I'd get down the street and I went and I was like a. Like, it was city slickers. The only thing I knew how to do is, yeah, that's the only thing I thought would wrangle them and push them down the road. And I'm, you know, 10 at night, driving around the neighborhood chasing coyotes. Yeah. Morning sickness.

[Brady]

Holmberg's Morning sickness podcast is sponsored by Better Help. Back to school. Workplace upheaval. Relationship stress. Deadline anxiety. We all go through these moments in our daily lives that leave our mental health and wellness on shaky ground. It's Dick Toledo from Holmberg's morning sickness for BetterHelp. I personally have felt the benefits of therapy to get through a rough patch and to give me a way to navigate that tough time and a strategy to recognize when I'm not handling situations my best. And with over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform. With BetterHelp, you can join a session with a therapist at the click of a button and switch therapists anytime to help you fit therapy into your life where it's best. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a broad array of expertise. So give yourself a helping hand and talk it out with Better Help. Morning sickness listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com Holmberg that's betterhelp. H E-L-P.com Holmberg Holmberg's morning sickness and.

[John Holmer]

They finally get to this other front yard, and I pulled into the guy I know the. He's a cop. It's Rob. And I pulled into his driveway. This giant just all lit up Jeep. Every light I have on the big KC lights. Oh, it's crazy how bright it gets. And so, Rob, if you're listening, sorry about that. I was the one shining lights into your window.

[Toledo]

It wasn't an alien.

[John Holmer]

No, you didn't have to worry about an abduction. Although soon, evidently, Indians are just going to move into our homes. But then they started to run back to my house. I'm like, no. So I had to go all the way back to the cul de sac, chase them out of there. And yeah, that's all I knew. But way to go, Curly. Yeah. Says that means that you're just gonna have to have sex with a coyote ugly pig very soon to get. Oh, I have to reverse the problem. Okay. Thanks, Kelly. But maybe, John, wouldn't it be great if Jeffrey Holder from the old Coyote radio station had to come live with you? In the spirit of Jeffrey Holder, good morning. I would love Some coffee on the coyote. You have seen true coyotes? Yeah. I don't know. It was weird.

[Toledo]

Boy, you're shooting hoops. He's just watching.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Great shot. Excellent work. You've really developed a good day. Thanks. Jeffrey Holder's ghost. I appreciate that, but. Yeah, it was weird. It says, control your property. This one says, and you see two coyotes banging in your yard, call ice. That's a very clever way to handle that. That's. I got two coyotes in my front yard and they're having at it. We're on our way. I'll get that. Tom Holman standing outside would be awesome. Yeah.

[Toledo]

Let's check your backyard. Patrol it. See if there's any kind of potential den. Like anything. Just in case.

[John Holmer]

Back there, I've. Our dogs would spook them enough to be. Yeah. You know, they bark at them. Jack goes right out. They've been in the backyard before. Not. Maybe not these two, but they're. Coyotes have been standing in the yard, and Jack is the lab. And he immediately just beelines with all the noise in the world and they take off. I mean, they're. If. Unless they're rabid. And these two weren't. They weren't aggressive other than. I mean, maybe the girl should be. I could have. I could have broken up a coyote rape, but she seemed to want to stay with him. You can't. You can't talk sense into these ladies.

[Announcer]

In this case or something with her.

[John Holmer]

They always say a tactical black. When you see, like a couple fighting, don't involve yourself. Because most of the time the lady ain't going anywhere. She's just gonna be like, he loves me. So it's just. Don't. It's domestic violence in the coyotes. Let him have it. But not in my yard. But, yeah, I've seen him in the back before. And usually the rabid ones will stand there and you kind of know. But if they're rabid and just standing in your yard, usually they're going through trash or tearing something up. So I haven't seen it. Most of them do have something not to worry about, but it was kind of weird to see. That is for sure. And then, of course, who cares about any of this in two days. We got football, boys. Like real football begins Thursday night.

[Announcer]

Quarterback, too, don't you.

[John Holmer]

I got a new quarterback. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Toledo]

There's some new people in the lineup.

[John Holmer]

And if your quarterback could tear himself away from a YMCA concert, maybe we'd have. He's got a little Village People in him. What color is he gonna paint his nails for the game. Do you know Red, white and blue? He's all American. When the opener. Yeah. Football starts officially Thursday. Kind of started this weekend with college. But what are you going to do? You. Your Ohio State one. Yeah. Was it? You don't know. Maybe Texas sucks. You don't know. All arbitrary nonsense at this point to say who's good and who's not. Texas has a quarterback.

[Toledo]

You know, it is the first game. You don't know what you're going to get offensively. But you know, to hold Texas earning those 27 points.

[John Holmer]

How do you know? Maybe Arch Manning. Horrible.

[Toledo]

Both teams have weapons in the offense.

[John Holmer]

How do you know?

[Toledo]

Right.

[John Holmer]

One of them hasn't played but one game in his entire life. How do you know he's any good? That's one thing about hate, about college.

[Toledo]

Just like, you know, you had unseated no Miami take on Notre Dame, who came in right, ranked at 8. And they.

[John Holmer]

Florida State Beach, Alabama. They keep saying, oh, they upset them. No, because you told everybody they were good. We don't know. Their recruits might actually suck. You don't know. You got to let it all pan out. That's the good thing about college football now is that none of these preseason rankings actually matter. They're just in.

[Toledo]

That first loss doesn't take you out of that.

[John Holmer]

But it's for television. It's all it is. One versus three. Yeah, sure, because they pretended when they saw the schedule. We get some big name schools here, let's just rank the hell out of them and fool people into thinking their teams are doing something.

[Toledo]

How good does the team look?

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Don't know.

[John Holmer]

Don't know.

[Toledo]

You just want.

[John Holmer]

You got to wait, like, better three weeks. The one good thing college used to do was just bludgeon. Poor schools like Ohio would play Daytona School for the Blind and they would batter them all over the field like, you know, like a trailer park wife. This week, oh, you got what you got to make up. So if you don't put 70 on Grambling, you got to worry.

[Toledo]

Yep.

[John Holmer]

That's when you don't know what happened with Tex. You got to win. So it's on the schedule. You put the win on the board, but neither team look. I watched that game. I'm like, this is awful to watch. There's like, nobody's doing anything good that.

[Toledo]

Other than the defense.

[John Holmer]

Well, the defenses look good, but that. That could be because the offenses were inept. Completely.

[Toledo]

Combination.

[John Holmer]

Neither of them look like it could do it. There's no preseason there's no. But they're one versus three. I'm like, who are you kidding? How do you have the number one team in the country, have a quarterback you've never seen play at all?

[Toledo]

That's like saying he came in really?

[John Holmer]

Of course. His last name's Manning. It's great hype. It's like saying Tennessee's gonna win the Super Bowl. They're the best team in football because they've got the number one pick. That. And we know this. He's not played a whole game yet, but man, oh man, do we know. No, you don't. You don't know anything. ASU struggled a little with nau. They didn't look too good. That was an average to okay performance. They were 28 point favorites and they won by like 13. College football. Let's get to the real stuff. Yeah. Let's start on Thursday with stuff that we actually can quantify with something other than some weird orb structure guess, like some magic eight ball telling you who's good.

[Announcer]

That's what. Eagles. Cowboys.

[John Holmer]

Right. Eagles. Cowboys. Thursday. And then he's going to be running.

[Announcer]

Around here, running his mouth the whole time.

[John Holmer]

And then the Cowboys making their move, which was huge. Jerry Jones being completely our word about. I got no problem with him not paying Micah Parsons at all. That trade was huge. But don't go on afterwards and tell everybody your team's better because that's what he did. He did a press conference after he traded him. We've had a problem stopping around for a few years now. You didn't draft a defensive lineman this year until the seventh round. So you've had that problem for a few years and just now you address it by trading your best player away. That. Don't, don't, don't bull the fans just, just go out and go, I'm not going to pay him. He was asking for too much. And we're not doing that. So we'll get some more people later. And we're taking a step back to go a step forward. Just be honest with everybody then all that.

[Toledo]

Yeah. You see these articles. No one liked Micah Parsons.

[John Holmer]

Oh, everybody liked Micah.

[Announcer]

Everybody says, oh, he's a cancer.

[John Holmer]

He was no cancer. He was fine. The cancer was if they paid him $45 million, he'd have been the third highest paid player on the team. And those three players would have amounted to 55% of the Cowboys salary cap. That means you got to pay 50 guys the other, you know, 45%. That's nearly impossible to run a team that Way. So Jerry made the right decision financially for once. Well, no, he's been pretty good, but it's just this one just hurts the team and he could have done this months ago. The bigger problem is he could have traded. If this was the thing, he could have traded him for a lot more. Ah, it's football's back. I start turning into Chris Collinsworth early in the morning. I tell you what, football's back, Mike. All right. I'm excited about it. It's going to be a fun season no matter what happens. And I do have a new quarterback and we'll see what my 41 year old quarterback. I don't like looking at quarterback. I'm 53. I don't like looking at quarterbacks and the pros and saying I was 12 when he was born that he should not still be playing. He should be long done. And I also have made it very clear in sports that I hate when old people do well. I hate it. So I have to change my mindset a little bit to have this 41 year old quarterback because he's got to do well or they're screwed. I hate it. Tells me that the sport's in trouble. When Tom Brady won the Super Bowl a few years ago, I'm like, well, the sport is in flux. You cannot have a 45 year old quarterback win a Super bowl and not tell me that there has. Not that the younger players are not getting it done. And then Mahomes comes along, finally gets through that, you know, over the Tom Brady hump. But the fact that Patrick Mahomes was the in that super bowl and watched Tom Brady and they just dismantled it like something's wrong with the league. When Phil Mickelson won the whatever tournament that was a few years ago. Or he was like, I was like 50 and he won the US Open or something. Like, what the hell is this garbage? It's nonsense. It just makes fat other 50 year olds sit on a couch going, we could, we could still do something and you're not gonna. So don't act like it's motivated you. It's. You might go out and play golf twice and realize that's too expensive. I'll just go back to the couch and watch good people play it. Nobody ever does anything. I hate when old people do good at things. Hate it. I like my sports to be extraordinary and young.

[Announcer]

The rumor of Sanders going from the Browns to the, to the Shadors.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, I heard that rumor.

[Announcer]

I don't know.

[John Holmer]

They're putting Shador everywhere. Yeah, I'D take them. Why not take a flyer? Yeah. Ain't gonna start. Stuff him in there and see what he's got. I don't see them making that move at all. We'll see. Shador ain't staying in Cleveland long, though. That is not a good marriage, but hilarious football. Some guy just sent me a thing. It says, let's just get this out of the way now. And it's a picture of Dak Prescott from the Cowboys. And it says, cowboys officially eliminated from the NFL playoffs. Yeah, I think they're out, I think in that division and everything else, but it's back. Very excited.

[Toledo]

Watch that Cowboys documentary. It's pretty.

[John Holmer]

So good. Yeah. Watch the whole thing. And it's just. You just walk away saying, Jerry Jones is kind of cool. He's a drunk. I also know that that was what he ran. Alcohol. He ran hard. Some days he's still doing it. Yeah, he's drinking the whole time. You notice he always had a drink with him during. He couldn't not film that. He's an alcoholic. Like, he's a functioning alcoholic. I took. That was a big takeaway from that. I watched another documentary you must watch. And I'm not even going to give it away if you've watched it already on. On out there listening and stuff. It's called Unknown Number. Did you watch that?

[Toledo]

No.

[John Holmer]

Oh, my goodness. It's about an hour and a half. You will if you don't yell at your tv. You don't have any human emotion. You have to yell at your television. It has a great twist in it. A girl gets cyber bullied at school. A girl and her boyfriend starting in seventh grade. And the twist is remarkable. And you will yell at your television. You'll be like, I'm just start shouting at the people on the scre. Because it. Yeah. Not only is the twist remarkable, the follow up is even better. It's the strangest documentary I've watched in a while, but it's called Unknown Number on Netflix. Just kill two hours.

[Toledo]

Check it out.

[John Holmer]

You got nothing until Thursday anyway. There's no good tv. You don't have to listen to your wife anymore talking about, what do you want to do? You've got all your nights covered. It's like, that's it. The logging in right now. Yeah. Oh, it's football widows. I mean, get your black veils out because we are going away for the next 20 weeks and you don't have any more. Why do you guys always have to watch the Thursday game?

[Announcer]

Because it's on Other than that, you're running your mouth.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, what else am I gonna do? Exactly. Right? Come on, let's get it together.

[Toledo]

You know when you can run it.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. You know when you're messed. You want to stay busy while the game's on. You could fill that gobbledy trap of yours.

[Announcer]

But keep your head a little low.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Drop down. I want to see over. Good place. Let's get a wake up song. Welcoming Brady back. Welcoming Toledo back. Brett's still here. I got a low tire light. I got a lot of problems. Right?

[Announcer]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmer]

And we'll get a good one. 585-9800 and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up.

[Toledo]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmer]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of SA Himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Thank you. Miles to nowhere. It's good to hear that again. Off and running, Katie and the hobs. 6:43. And I'm getting a lot of emails about my tire light, which, of course is the most important thing going on in this room by far. I didn't know this guy said. Have you checked your. I put air in the tires. Still giving me the warning. Have you checked your spare? Normally people don't test that. Is that on a monitor too? Must be, you know, cars. Is my spare tire, Brett, on.

[Toledo]

Have a valve in it?

[John Holmer]

Got a monitor that would say I've got low air pressure.

[Announcer]

Yeah, it should.

[John Holmer]

It does.

[Announcer]

Newer car. Newer stuff does.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Not.

[Announcer]

Not all cars do because, like, I had a flat a while back on mine and mine didn't. So the light was going on when I was riding the spare. But some of the. Some of the newer cars, they do.

[John Holmer]

I didn't know that. Oil. Check the spare. Thank you, Ian. That's. That's actually a listener giving me good advice. Not saying something about two illegal Mexican coyotes in my front yard or your.

[Announcer]

Junos or something like that.

[John Holmer]

It didn't even start with hey, Juno's. Have you checked your spare? Ian, I appreciate the. The classy nature. What in the world happened to you people? We were gone for a week. Don't you know to start all emails that are helpful with hey, Juno's. We can't. I can't live with this.

[Toledo]

But I don't think it detects. Like the spare doesn't. Check in. Like it would say, oh, your spare's low.

[John Holmer]

But why would it have a monitor if it's not gonna have a thing that says it's reading?

[Toledo]

It's on there. So it has it. So it doesn't go off.

[Announcer]

No, it would still. It would still read.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Why would it kind of like a.

[Announcer]

Radio signal that sends it back to the.

[Toledo]

Because you don't have the spare on. Right.

[Announcer]

But it's still on the car. So it still says there's air pressure even if it's under the truck or on the back of the jeeps and stuff like that.

[John Holmer]

I mean if they've got. I didn't even know they had a monitor. But if it has a sensor on it, it would be pointless to say, yeah, there's a sensor, but it's never going to tell you. That does make sense. I would have never assumed the spare had one. Yeah.

[Announcer]

When Matthias. Her trucks are 17 and when she got a flat, we had to change it out. It was, you know, the lights going off and everything else. Because the spare doesn't have it.

[John Holmer]

Ah, all right.

[Announcer]

But some cars do and sometimes it's.

[Toledo]

Wealthy and the sensor can fall off sometimes. Right.

[Announcer]

It depends on the sensor in the tire. Cuz sometimes they're on like a band on the wheel and sometimes they can break off or something like inside.

[John Holmer]

Interesting. And then a lot of people emailing about Toledo's situation with his stepfather saying that horrible thing about shooting his mother right after she passed. I wonder if he did it old, you know, stepdad style. When he went up and patted Toledo on the back right before he said, eh, I had it my way. Had a shot her days ago. Which is the terrible thing to say over a corpse.

[Announcer]

Sometimes you just gotta make light of the situation.

[John Holmer]

I think he was dead serious.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Announcer]

But he's been dealing with. For how many years? You know, I mean like been watching her constantly go down. He's probably.

[John Holmer]

I remember finally like, oh really? But it's farm people too. Yeah. And it's like the. It's that way of life. When I was at my. My grandparents put things down. Oh yeah, my grandparents. There was a guy when times were tight and I remember being a little kid at my grandpa's farm and somebody rapped on the door one day and I open. Of course you were a kid. I was like, brady, I was like, somebody's here, open the door. And everybody was like, why'd you answer that guy's on the other end, he's got a shotgun at the door and he didn't even flinch. Is. Is Elvar around? Hey, hang on a second. I didn't say anything. Man with a gun at the door. Cuz that wasn't scary at all in Mount Jewett, Pennsylvania. So I go over and get Alvar, and he goes, we're good. And I asked my dad, I'm like, what was that? And he's like, oh, that guy's having some problems. So he's asking all the farmers if there's any animals that need to be taken care of. He's walked around with his gun, door.

[Toledo]

To door, picking up some spare.

[John Holmer]

Do you have a dog or anything that needs shooting? Because I'll do it for a couple bucks. And how bad would you feel if you're like, you know what? Yeah, Heidi's not doing so great. She's down in the doghouse. Here's five bucks. Go kill my dog. And they're just farm people. They have that weird kind of like. But not for their. Not for each other, though.

[Toledo]

You think about it, though, you don't. You don't have the vet. Sure you do that. You know, sometimes it. At the time, give the shot.

[John Holmer]

They always had that old doc. What's his name? Yeah, but if you're. If you're on the brink of putting your animal down, very rarely is it, you know, like, oh, thank God, that guy showed up right on time. My grandpa was in the kitchen making a sandwich. Like, if his dog needed to be put down, he didn't care at all. It's like, yeah, we got a knock on the door, says, yeah, go ahead, kill her. I was gonna do it later, but we don't have a vet. He didn't. It was. It wasn't top of mind to kill any animals.

[Brady]

Well, Valvar's neighbor was around last week. I'm sure my stepdad would have considered it.

[John Holmer]

Yep. You know what? It's time. I do have one animal needs to be taken out.

[Announcer]

If only O.J. lived in Mount Jewett, Pennsylvania, you know, it would have been taken care of. That we've never had this big. That, you know, bronco chase would have.

[John Holmer]

Been incre had OJ Just shown up. Hey, little fella. How you doing? Hey, Mr. Simpson. Hey, your granddad around? I've got. Why do you have a gun? Oh, I don't. I don't. That's a prop problem from movies. Anyway. Could you get Alvar real quick? I'm. Hey, Alvar. I've hit hard times and it would be nicer. Do you have anybody around the house that Needs shooting a wife, maybe. Come on. Isabelle's asleep. Perfect. I hate when they fight back, leaving all those scars on your fingers. So when you're in chicag, that's the first thing the cops see. Hey, Raleigh, how are you? Is everything good? Mr. Simpson, I understand your wife's not doing real well. Hospice is an unnecessary expense, Raleigh.

[Toledo]

Let your friends and family know. The Juice will do it.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, the Juice will do it. How many days has she been here? It's got to be 150 bucks a day. Let's eliminate that. OJ Simpson's euthanasia service is pretty fantastic. Anyway, thanks, OJ appreciate your stopping in. Out. All right.

[Toledo]

I'm just saying.

[John Holmer]

There he goes.

[Brady]

Sounds like a gun there.

[John Holmer]

Well, he's got a shot. Launch OJ Also, another condolence that says, tell Toledo we send our console. Our condolences. My brother and I know exactly what he's going through. We know what it's like to lose a mother. Signed, Lyle and Eric. That's terrible. See, this is the. That's what I missed about this for the last week. Touching stuff like that. And then before we left, the Guadalupe squares Friday. I don't know if you heard him, Paula, the Toledo hater was on as a contestant.

[Brady]

Yeah, I was texting.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, well, she didn't know your mother had passed. The day before, she sent me an email, so I know she told me, too. She emailed me, and she goes, I hadn't. I came across as the biggest bitch in the world because she's like, I don't even care why Toledo's gone. It's great. Whatever happened, do it again. And she was going on and on, not realizing that your mother had passed. And she said, I was just playing. I'm like, well, it's not my fault the city thinks you're a bitch. And so, yes, evidently, she reached out to you to apologize, which had to feel great. Apollo, the Toledo hater, has been swinging at you for years.

[Toledo]

Of all the drafts, I drafted a.

[Brady]

Few responses and decided not to send any of them.

[John Holmer]

Ah, that's good stuff. But it was. Yeah, it was a nice way for her to reach out to me. And I'm like, I don't know what to do about this. You're the. I. I said nice things. I.

[Toledo]

It was interesting. He's not backing down. During the Guadalupe Square. Stuck with it.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, she stuck. No. Yeah, she didn't. Yeah, she didn't pull back. I'm like, jesus. She really likes the. Toledo's gone and is celebrating his absence Not. And then we didn't realize that she didn't know. She was having fun. Fun with it. But it was a. That was a treat.

[Announcer]

Yeah, I thought she knew.

[John Holmer]

So. Yeah. Wow. All right. There you go. Has a big bat and she is not afraid to swing it. But yeah, the. If people are saying, oh, this one says, hey, Juneau's tire sensor batteries go dead and automatically light up on dash low pressures. Oh, okay. Thanks. That's helpful.

[Announcer]

Now they're back again.

[John Holmer]

Hey, Juno's. Yeah, that's better. This one starts. Morning, John. Look, I don't even want to read those. All your kindness, it says, does the low tire light flash for the first few seconds and then stay on? That's a sensor issue. That's exactly what's happening because it's flashing at me. Normally it just pops on and I put a little error and it goes away. Now it's flashing. Okay, so I've got a sensor problem with my tires.

[Announcer]

You can just bring it to any of the discount or Costco or whatever does tires. They can change them out.

[John Holmer]

The sensors.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

Oh, no kidding. Oh, yeah. They'll change your sensor.

[Announcer]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmer]

Does it cost? I was going to cost. It's not just that drive through where everybody clogs up the road to get their tire pressure. No, no.

[Announcer]

If it's. If it's out, they'll dismount the tire and.

[John Holmer]

No kidding.

[Announcer]

Yeah. Change the sensor out.

[John Holmer]

How about that? And somebody's named OJ's. OJ's. Happy stabbings, not happy endings. Yeah, that's good. I like that. Well done. We'll get it all figured out sooner than later. Yeah. The tire pressure thing. Stranger. I don't know what to do. I had no idea there were sensors in the spare. That's why I don't want a new car. It's the very reason I'm not getting a new car. It's got so much crap that can break. I sat in a new Jeep. It's. Oh, it's a touchscreen. This, that. And I'm like, what happens when that breaks? Like, oh, I got to replace this whole thing. Like, I'm not. That's. That's going to break. I once. I like the old. Like, I might be going backwards because I like the old CJ7. And you should just have a speedometer, something to tell you if your car was on fire. And gas gauge. That was about it. And then a tachometer because it was a stick shift, but don't need that anymore. Three gauges, a radio And a glove box. That was all you had, and it worked just fine. Now you got all that crap in there. I sat in a. Was it one of those. Who has that. That Porsche?

[Announcer]

Oh, the Cayenne. Isn't that Heather's?

[John Holmer]

Right? Heather's got one of those. Yeah. Maybe Frank had it.

[Toledo]

It's not electric, though.

[John Holmer]

No, it didn't have to be.

[Toledo]

Oh.

[John Holmer]

The inside of this thing has 6,000 buttons around the driver. The whole arm of it is just buttons and switches and toggles. And I'm like, that's all one breaks. You got to take that. That's. That's thousands of dollars of goofs right there. I like simplicity. Tire pressure on my spare. Come on. Before we move on, I just have to say, okay. Remember the guy I ran over his car a few years ago? Jim Manley.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

The nicest man in the world. And I left a note that said, I think my tire hit your car in the parking lot. Evidently, I climbed his Acura. I had no idea. My Jeep just kind of rolled over the edge of it and tore it up. I didn't even feel it. It felt like a bump. And then the valet guy told me, you just hit that car. I'm like, all right, we'll leave a note. Turned out to be the nicest human being I've ever met in my life. I should have run him over years. So, Jim, is this how nice he is? I ran this guy's car over in a parking lot, and he was just happy I left a note. Next thing you know, we're talking. Super kind. Seen him a few times at little events here and there. We talk on the text now and again. He's like, hey, I want to do something nice for the charity. You. You go through that Lost Our Home Pet rescue. And I'm like, but I ran your car. You still are still. You're still making me feel bad by being so damn nice about this. And he said, so he's going to be at Cactus Jacks. He's got a band. He's a music guy, a big time music guy. And that's how. Remember, we talked about him on the air? And everybody's like, oh, I know him from asu. He's always doing this. That everybody loves this. He's got a band, and they're gonna play his band was decided. It's called Don't Tell Mandy. And they're gonna play at Cactus Jacks on Saturday and give the money to the Lost Her Home Pet rescue. Just because he's, like, doing that Because I ran his car over, essentially. That's really what it comes down to. So it's only six to eight. It's a. It's an old man fun time. And then you go and you get a ten dollar donation on the way. And you don't have to, but if you do, it all goes to that. I thought that was awesome. You run a guy over and the next thing you know, he starts doing charity work for you. It's the way Brett's people used to always do it. Only I did it with kindness and ignorance. You guys run people over, so they pay, you know, they know what. There's, you know, repercussions, there's consequences. I run Jim's car over and he's. He's acting like, you know, I'm a mob boss or a made man. He's doing stuff for. This is very nice. Very nice. So it's all for the puppies once again. And that's fantastic. And the van's very good. And so from 6 to 8 at Cactus Jacks, which is over on Elliot Road out in Chandler. I guess that's Chandler, right? Tempe Chandler.

[Announcer]

I would too.

[John Holmer]

It. Oh, it might be out. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. So it's over there. Cacti Jack's. Pretty cool place. So he'll be out there this Saturday. So thank you to Jim and his band. Don't tell Mandy. He text me. He said, one of the Mandy's in my band just found out that her husband is a big fan of yours. And they've only been together for 20 years. He said, hashtag things you don't tell your wife. So not only am I brand liability, I am now marital liability. This Guy's listened for 20 years and married to her the entire time. And she has no idea. He keeps us. We're like a side piece to him. I'm the same with Dale Hellestray. I golfed with Dale Hellestra a couple times over the break just to see if I can still play. And he had a Labor Day gathering of some sort Sunday, I guess. And we're sitting there talking at the end and he says, all right, so you're gonna get. He's talking to his nephews. There's. He's like, you're gonna get subs. And he points to his son in law and he goes, and you guys are gonna come by it. And I'm like, what time does this all happen? And Dale just starts shaking his head, no, no, Johnny, not you. I'm not allowed to go to his house because he never wants me to meet his wife.

[Announcer]

Cause I cuss you invite him in here every week and he want to.

[Toledo]

Let you to his house.

[John Holmer]

Morning sickness medicate Holmberg's morning sickness. That's exactly what I said. But I'm not allowed to ever meet her because this prick. If you say that C word in front of her, I'll never. I said, what would happen if you said the C word to your wife? Not calling her that, but just set it around like you're in traffic or something and somebody cuts you off. And Dale just goes, got my way. And he starts going, Dale crazy. He goes, she wouldn't talk to me for like weeks. I'm like, if you called someone else the C word. And he goes, yep, wouldn't talk to me for weeks. I'm like, you got to get that under control. You got it. You got to man up a little bit around the house. You got Kim Jong un dictating your speech and your language around the place. You got to say, you know, sometimes.

[Toledo]

The temper gets you.

[John Holmer]

Well, look, if you ask me, the C word needs to be aimed directly at the fact that he can't cut us. Stop being a. I'll say when I want. That needs to happen at Dale. Here's the thing, kind of on the same page. I read this, see if you guys catch where the problem with this is. And I do this. This is the thing I do. Cuz I'm going to hop in there. It says, a lady went on social media and said that she didn't understand it, but every time her and her boyfriend have home dates, they're going to watch a movie, they're Netflix and chill. She goes, you know, it always probably leads to more as the home date does on the couch. We're probably going to do some, some sexy time. And so she goes in and has a quick shower. Well, a good woman will do that. And she gets up and cleans herself off. We're just gonna have a couch date. So she takes like a five minute shower, cleans up the. She's just washing the. The box. Really? That's all she's doing. She doesn't maybe put some deodorant on. She's a good woman. She's a good woman. Keeps her hair out of the water so it's, you know, not disgusting and all over. So then she comes out and then she says, and then he'll get in the shower. She goes, but he's in there for like 25 minutes. And then she said, and I. And I busted in on him to see what was going on. And she said, as I was opening the door, I heard the toilet flush, and the water's been running for 10 or 15 minutes. And the guy's dropping a bomb before he gets in the shower because he's. He's recognizing we got sexy time, too. I don't want to have this thing floating around in my gut the whole way. And I've done that. You run the water in the shower so no one knows you're dropping a deuce because that's not conducive to sex. A sexy night to know that you just dropped a turd. And then he hops in the shower and he cleans up. Well, she comes in, and she said, I didn't realize it, but that's why his showers have been so long, is that he always takes a poop before.

[Toledo]

Before he showers.

[John Holmer]

But she goes, why are you running the hot water at all during that? And he goes, I don't know. I didn't want you. You barging in here in the first place. Second, what's the big deal? And then she said the phrase that ended it for me. She goes, I finally trained mine to stop doing it. Oof. Brett's eyebrows did what mine did. You say that. You say that word, you're gonna have no tan lines on your fingers.

[Toledo]

Been trained? Yeah, numerous times.

[John Holmer]

Two things. You're either gonna be a dude who eventually says, go to hell. Ask the warden anytime you do anything, which is disgusting, or the woman is going to be a woman with no tan lines on that finger and well into her late 40s. If you even say you're training us, any direction and one of us. And you get it to me. If I. If Matthias said, oh, I've got Brett trained to do that, and it was something simple, I'd be like, brett, you got to get rid of her. She's got to go. She's telling people that she's training you. You're her puppy gooses. And then the next thing you know, Brett's gonna be wearing, like, Merlot turtlenecks and all sorts of clothes that she's dressing them in. You are a waste of human space if you allow your. Anyone to say, well, you've been trained by me to. I trained you as a spouse. Oh, boy. And if a man says it about a woman, he's right. That's our job. You can't do it to us ladies. That's crazy talk. I trained mine. He doesn't turn my water on anymore. When he does things, he was thinking of you. If you think about it, you just made it so that door is going to be closed. There's going to be no water running. You're going to hear horrible things happening in that bathroom, and you're not going to know. I thought we were going to have a nice night. And you went in there and you just. Oh, God, I had the water running before. You just thought I was taking a long shower. But you trained me to turn the water off. That's why you turn water on.

[Toledo]

She loves the sounds.

[John Holmer]

Well, then you got to get out of there for another reason. Yeah, you got a chick who likes deuces?

[Announcer]

Yeah, she's a pig.

[John Holmer]

She's a pig. Oh, my God, that smells so good. I knew a girl a long time ago that liked her uncle. Had to do a number on her. She got turned on by, like, dirty body odor. Like, we'd play basketball. The boys and I would play basketball and go back and come into. It was at Tony Roma's. You go into Tony Roma's after, and if she was there, she'd be like, oh, that's so hot. I'm like, what? She goes, just the smell of men. I'm like, we stink. Like, this is gross. There's rust butts and dirty pits and just body.

[Toledo]

Love it.

[John Holmer]

She wanted it. I'm like, what kind of a dungeon did your uncle sweat all over you? And that made you think, that's good. I trained mine to stop that habit. I just couldn't take it anymore. What are you talking about? Had nothing to do with you. And then she goes barging into the bathroom to see what he's up to. And maybe he was tugging one out so he'd last longer on the couch. Everything that guy was doing was for you. End of story. All of it. He wasn't. You think he does that when he's home alone? He's not running the shower water and taking a dump. He doesn't care. That was all for you. So you didn't hear anything gross or hear him moaning, just in case. And if he was tugging one out, it was also for you.

[Toledo]

I practiced with other women for you.

[John Holmer]

I did this. I know what it's like, and that's true, too. You can't go with someone. I'm a virgin. It's not gonna know. He's. He's bounced on other broads, and he knows his way around here, his system. You have basically taken away good training and considered yourself in charge. I hated that reading that because I Read it. I'm like, yeah, that makes sense. And. And then so she did some Internet research on TikTok and found out that it's like 40% of men do this. If you go on a date. I'd never dump in someone else's home. That's. That's kind of animal in itself too. But if you're at your girlfriend's house and she wants to have sexy time time, I'm definitely gonna wash my ass for a while. And if it's been a minute since sexy time, I might throw one in her shower floor just to be ready to go for the second, you know? So I. So I act, you know, another two pump chump. You know what I mean?

[Announcer]

Oh, you just.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, you give yourself.

[Announcer]

I thought you were talking about waffle stomping in the shower.

[John Holmer]

I'm like.

[Toledo]

Sure.

[John Holmer]

No, no, you guys. You guys aren't thinking. Not thinking. I was like, whoa. No, no. I. I just said prior to that. I'd never take a dump in someone's house. It doesn't mean that I can do it in their shower and on their toilet. I mean, I'll take huge in their shower. Sure, I'll smash it into her plumbing, but not the proper way. If I was gonna poop, you guys think I would. I'm not doing it in the toilet. She'll know, I better take a huge. Right here in her shower and then get away with it. Gross. So, yeah, it's. Ladies, you have to just leave guys alone. If he's in the bathroom for 20 or 25 minutes, he's coming out spotless. That's a good thing. But she just couldn't leave well enough alone. Had to get up off the couch. What is going on? And started yelling at him. You're running my hot water. I bought you dinner. We're even. Her comments on TikTok, though. 12.6 million views.

[Toledo]

Wow.

[John Holmer]

I know. 860,000 likes. And it says the more I'm on this app, the more I'm learning we all have the same marriage. I trained mine to stop this habit. Someone else said I walked in to scare him, and I kept asking how come he's running our water bill up. You're really concerned about the water bill at that point, or is it just that he wasn't out there in your time? It's very normal to want to have a clean ass and an empty stomach before sex. It's very good. Imagine if he didn't.

[Toledo]

Best way to operate.

[John Holmer]

Imagine if he just went in there and took a Dump and left the water and then just came out to you. He rust butt you right there on the couch. Doctors need to start telling people to wash their asses more and not be afraid of it. And ladies. And lock the door in the bathroom also. So if the door swings open and you're on the toilet. What's wrong with you? Shut and lock the door.

[Announcer]

Should be barging in anyway though.

[John Holmer]

Both sides are wrong.

[Announcer]

You know.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Announcer]

You shouldn't need to lock the door if somebody else is in there. Don't go in.

[John Holmer]

And I'll get an email from somebody that says I've been married to her for a long time. There's nothing she hasn't seen. And I bet you you're the same guy that complains she doesn't blow you anymore. You don't have sex anymore because you leave the bathroom door unlocked or open while you're being disgusting. The worst thing your human body can do. And you're. You're letting other people have free access to that space. That's ridiculous. We need to have great shame in our poos. Great shame. Because you can't complain that your wife doesn't blow you anymore if you leave the door open. Because would you go down on her if she's sitting there with the door wide open just turning away? Imagine that.

[Toledo]

I'd move.

[John Holmer]

I. I'd burn the house down. I'd do what Toledo's stepdad would do. Up. Looks like it's time to put her down.

[Announcer]

Maybe that's what Robert Fisher was thinking.

[John Holmer]

I've been thinking about doing this for a while there. Honey. But you left the door open during a turd. I'm sorry I had to put you away. Yeah. I'm Raleigh and I'm single again.

[Toledo]

You wouldn't have to open the door. Just the story is that Bathroom.

[John Holmer]

You know what? Go. Oscar Pistorius. She didn't even put a towel down by the bottom. Right. We got it. Sorry about that. I thought there was an intruder. You know. Oscar Pistorius would have had a better court case. Hattie said she was taking a huge dump and she was ruining the house. So I just shot into the bathroom. There's no way that was my girl. And turned out I was wrong. She's got all sorts of problems. He's a hero. And if it's girlfriend boyfriend and you're not locking the door during turd. You're off to a terrible maybe six months before you guys start you know noticing that there's a fall off in the physical relationship. You Fart on her and you turd with the door open. She's leaving.

[Toledo]

She's Stu Shock.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, she's. Yeah. I don't understand. I don't want a cute name for it for you. Don't cute name it. Stu Shock. Stop it.

[Announcer]

I'm going back on vacation.

[John Holmer]

He looks healthy, but he's still. He's still the same. There. So crippled man deep down inside now, do you. You shut the door.

[Toledo]

Sure.

[John Holmer]

You don't sit there with the door open and talk to her or anything, right?

[Toledo]

No.

[John Holmer]

Right.

[Announcer]

I've never even checked if the door is locked on my thigh. If she's in there, she's in there. I'm not going in.

[John Holmer]

Right. Yeah. Soft limits. There's no reason. There's stuff you don't want to see. Exactly. You walk in and ever see somebody putting a tampon where it goes. That's. That's a horror movie. Yeah. The body's contorted into this weird upside down sea. They look like Monty Burns that. Nothing attractive at all. Their cans are doing things they shouldn't be doing. Their hands are upside down. Like. What is this? Get out. Like. Ah. Shut the door. I didn't know you were home. It doesn't matter. I could come home at any minute. You shut the door when? That day. Or watch him shave. That area. You ever seen that? No. The knee goes up on the edge of the shower and there's like some weird. Like some of those Japanese contortionists. Like they're doing something, but it's not a good act. Just buzzing away on top.

[Toledo]

She straightened the blade with a leather strip.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Announcer]

She's got a strap in the shower.

[John Holmer]

Are you straight razoring? Get out.

[Announcer]

An old school barber. And it just feels good.

[John Holmer]

This. Yeah. Guy with one of those curly mustaches.

[Toledo]

Look at the mug.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Got a cream all over it. I like that. That it's foaming. You got the rabies. Be done here in a minute, friend. Have a seat. Or worse yet, ice cubes in there to barbershop in it.

[Toledo]

Can you hand me the hot towel?

[John Holmer]

What? Yeah. Terrifying. But shut the door when you're in the bathroom. Knock it off. You're ruining your relationship. If you're an open bathroom couple and I am not the friend you want to talk to about. Well, you know, the sex life is just the first thing I say. You farted owner. We've been married for a long time, so. Yeah, that's very funny to fart on her. Well, there you go. I've answered all your questions. You Dump with the door open. I mean, you know, or. We've been married for a long time, right? And so everything you're talking about is the reason why she's not blowing you. Knock it off.

[Announcer]

Surprise. You're still married.

[John Holmer]

Oh, yeah, Exactly.

[Toledo]

That commercial was so funny on SNL back in the day. We had the.

[John Holmer]

The love toilet. Yeah, yeah, the two. The two. You do everything together. You're not doing that. It's gross. Come on, man. It's the PTA bath, John. The pits, the blanks, and the ass. It's true. You gotta have that. It says, welcome back to Brady and Toledo both. It's been a rough week. Yeah, that's true. Thank you for caring and telling us about your pta. The good thing. This guy says if she barges in while you're taking a dump, you look her dead in the eye and say, okay. Ready to give me a blumpkin? Because if you're not, you need to go. One of the things will happen. Either get the blumpkin. I don't want a girl who's willing to give blumpkins either. I don't want a girl. And if you don't know what a blumpkin is, you're classy. Thanks to this show. I'm far too familiar with the blumpkin. Thanks to Brett's videos. Although we haven't seen a blumpkin video, have we?

[Announcer]

Don't ask. Now we're gonna challenge. Crandall and Bailey are gonna have, like, four of them on.

[John Holmer]

On tap now. Challenge a standing blumpkin. I want to see a standing blumpkin. I don't want to see even a toilet involved.

[Announcer]

Asking shall receive.

[John Holmer]

But if you've got a girl who's like, oh, a blumpkin like you, this is the biggest piece of trash alive. My old boyfriend used to love blumpkins. In fact, heck, if you're about to date a girl for the first time, after you ask her what her credit score is and how she likes her dad, because those are two dead giveaways on whether or not you should keep going. Ask her if she's familiar with blumpkins. If she says yes, it's not cool, Move on. Just say thank you and have a nice day. Extend her some courtesy, pay for her coffee and leave. I drink coffee because it makes the blumpkin easier. Oh, God. Anyway, and then I saw. You know, we used to doorbell ditch all the time when I was a kid. It was the best.

[Announcer]

The best we did, too.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, I know.

[Toledo]

Is that what you called it?

[John Holmer]

Yeah, no, not in Indiana. And probably not at Brett's house. Nope, Indiana. I'll say this, there was a black kid we used to do it with in Indiana and he's the one who said it the most. Doorbell ditching. That's what it turned into for us. I wasn't saying that. I'm not barking that out at any time. I didn't realize how bad it's gotten. There's been like several shootings. I never once worried about getting shot. And then an 11 year old boy got killed in Houston. He rang the doorbell and ran away. He'd been ringing doorbells as a prank. It was late Saturday night. Houston police department said commonly doorbell ditching results in frustration, but very rarely in murders. Although it's been happening a lot around the country. There's been like five or six incidents where your kids are doorbell ditching and the guy comes out armed, like he's, he's ready to kill. Which tells me one thing and one thing only. Your kid's fat and slow. We never even. I was, by the time that door is open, we weren't close. Yeah, you're not shooting me. And if I'm still running down the middle of the road, I'm just bad at doorbell ditches. You found the near. You had a plan, right? You went and said, okay, well run. I'm gonna hit behind the rv. You're gonna go over in those bushes. This dude isn't gonna know where we are. And if he sees us and he starts firing wildly into the bush ditches, I'm on my horse, man. I'm getting out of there.

[Toledo]

First timer tell me you gotta wait till he opens the door and you're gonna say, hey, you were doorbell ditched, right?

[John Holmer]

Yeah. You don't ding dong. Ditching is not something you should. If you get spotted, you're horrible at it. If you get shot, you're the worst in the world at it. But this kid, now one of them, that I did admire, the wherewithal of the guy who had been doorbell ditched. It's a terrible story, but you know, if you run the risk. It says, in May in Virginia, a man was charged with second degree murder for shooting an 18 year old kid who did a tick tock video about the prank. So we got doorbell ditched, kid does the video and he's like, oh, there he is. And he went and found him and killed him. I don't know how mad you can be about your doorbell. That's why I don't have a doorbell belt. Just the kids may have been ridiculous. Then another guy got in his car, found him, and ran him over. So evidently, people are a whole lot less tolerant of doorbell ditching as they were when I was a kid.

[Announcer]

Things have changed.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, we'd get yelled at.

[Toledo]

That's teaching them there.

[John Holmer]

Like the next. Yeah. The next day, my. You know, there'd be a knock on the door from the people that. We did it multiple times. And you can't do it now with ring doorbells either. That's the problem.

[Announcer]

New technology and stuff. There's cameras everywhere.

[John Holmer]

Getting caught doing this.

[Announcer]

I mean, you're getting nailed before you even ring the doorbell.

[John Holmer]

I don't even understand it. But. Yeah, you're still really bad at it, though. If somebody has time to draw and kill you, that's just. You're just a bad doorbell ditcher. I mean, I don't want to go with you. I went with a kid named Tony Richards in California, in San Diego. Tony held the record. He was a black kid, too. He held the record for. And he used to have a very funny way of saying dorveltitching. He said it with, like, a funny accent, which was a riot. I can't say it, but he did. And we all like, let's do me and a guy named Sean Orr. And Tony did this thing that he goes, you guys want to do a little beep Beep? Like, yeah. Cause you can say that. And so he did this kid named Travis's house. The record was seven times without getting called. They would. They stood outside and waited for him. And he could get to the door. They'd stand in their driveway and get away. They knew it was him. He was the only black kid in the neighborhood. So they knew which. And we're in the bushes, like, he's doing it. They're right there. And he was so fast. It was like a Woody Woodpecker cartoon. They're just. They're swinging it. Air. Tony would duck him and get fly. I know who you are. And they'd go tell his parents the next day. Like, your kids doing this and this and this. And then the dad would be like, I know why you're here. No, he's been ringing our doorbell and run away. I know what you're doing. One black kid in the neighborhood, and all of a sudden you want to blame him for everything. And then the people are like, oh, we're sorry. Yeah, you're right. We're sorry. Tony had the best out ever. Seven times. He got Travis's head. He was a Legend like Ricky Henderson on the base patch. Yeah, he let up. Poway, California. That record still has not been broken. Legend. Tony Richardson, Richard, 1982. Guarantee you nobody's hit seven in the same house with them standing in the front yard. Still managed to get up there and get to the doorbell. And I remember we were in the bushes across the street at a kid named Billy's house. And Tony said, I can do it again. I can get to that doorbell. Like, they're outside. He goes, if I ring that doorbell, I'll get to the doorbell. And he jetted around the corner. They're standing up. We know you're out. They were hillbillies. Travis's family. We know you're out there. We know what you're doing. We know who you are. It's that black kid and that candy apple boy with the blonde hair. That was me. I look like a candy apple. I was a stick and a. A head. And then Sean was a little bit thick, a little chubby one. We know who you are, Tony. Ding dong. How the hell. And then. And he ran out of their yard like, Tony's a legend. Tony is a legend.

[Toledo]

Black in that twink again.

[John Holmer]

And the twinkle. The black and the fat kid ringing our doorbell. That family was so hillbilly that because of our constant harassment of doorbell ditching, they made all of us fight their son, Travis the nerd. What? Yeah. Travis always wanted to play football, but he was like a drawing of a nerd. He was the. He's the nerd from Family Guy. Red hair, freckles, glasses, just dopey. And we didn't want Travis to play with us. He was on the same street, and he's like, travis wants to play football. You boys should let him play football. Like, Travis sucks at football. So no. And then we'd knock him down. And so I didn't because I was smaller than Travis. But we all had to fight Travis in the front yard while his mom stood in the door. And Travis got the crap kicked out of him by three dudes. I slapped him a few times because I started. He was bleeding like crazy. You guys want to get this out of your system? Go ahead. You want to pick on Travis, Go ahead. And she put him out there as best. And I hit him a couple of times. Travis didn't fight back much. He was kind of crying. And then this kid Billy just finished it. I think he broke his nose. Mom was fine with it. Hillbillies, Poway, California. Seven times. Tony Richards.

[Toledo]

Get the time. My mom said, sweep the leg yeah.

[John Holmer]

You imagine your mom going, just fight my boy. And. And you just watched him get beat three times in a row. And the last kid just cleaned the decks with him. Billy was mean. That was it. But that was that family. But doorbell. If you've got a doorbell ditching injury, you're bad at it. But nowadays, don't do it. You get shot like days later and certainly don't tick tock about it. That's stupid.

[Announcer]

Morons do tick tock about everything.

[John Holmer]

All they do, they tick tock their own crimes. Isn't the fun of it like the camaraderie of the other guys you're doing it with? Because nobody ever does that by themselves. You'd have to be a psychopath to do that alone. You go out, you doorbell ditch. You guys giggle like crazy, like, oh, my God, you think you got away with it. I knew. I knew that this country was in trouble about 10 years ago when I was at my mom's house. It was a little longer now, and the neighbor kids rang the doorbell and asked my mom if they could toilet paper the house. Like, what? We were just going around, seeing if there's any. You've got a great tree in your front yard. Would you mind? We'll come back and clean it tomorrow. No, just do it, you morons. Why are you asking? We just didn't want to get in trouble. Well, then what's the point? What's the risk? Go chuck toilet paper at your own trees.

[Announcer]

We'll clean it up when we're done.

[John Holmer]

And they did.

[Announcer]

Yeah, that's. So what's the point?

[John Holmer]

They would toilet paper their own homes in my mom's neighborhood because the parents were like, well, I wanted to do it, so we thought, might as well just.

[Announcer]

These kids are.

[Toledo]

Why?

[John Holmer]

Why do you know that your kids wanted toilet paper? Something.

[Toledo]

Yeah, well, we were wondering if we could egg the house.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Would that be all right if we egged her home? No, it wouldn't. Oh, shoot.

[Toledo]

We'll clean it up.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. They come back the next day and what's the fun in that Earth vessel.

[Announcer]

Would have gave me 5 across the mouth of CH just for mentioning tping our own house.

[Toledo]

Stupid.

[John Holmer]

If my dad knew I was going out to TP anything, permission or otherwise, that would have been the end of me. This guy says, I recently asked some people I work with if they've ever participated in the act of ringing a doorbell and running. And they all said yes. And then I said, what did you used to call this heinous act? And a bunch Of Johnny tight lips showed up at work. They had to reveal what we used to call it. It isn't a pretty thing. Nope. It became. I, I. I was always a little uncomfortable with the kids that were. But Tony used to say it in the funniest way. Well, he can because he was totally. It was his. It was his to say. Right. It wasn't even a hard r. It was some sort of weird twang he put on it. And I thought it was hilarious. And I never asked him if he wanted to do it. Like you guys want to do the. If it was nighttime, we were gonna do it. But Tony was big on it, and it was hilarious, man. He was lightning fast. I bet you he plays pro ball. I, I lost touch with him after, like Ford's bird. I bet you he's. I bet you there's a Tony richards playing some professional sport or he was in track and we don't even know it. That kid was light. Happening fast. So quick.

[Toledo]

I've had it happen twice.

[John Holmer]

You got doorbell ditched.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

You have a camera, like, I mean, talking.

[Toledo]

Maybe three months ago.

[John Holmer]

No kidding. Yeah. You got to change it.

[Toledo]

Yes.

[John Holmer]

Well, you know.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

Who did it?

[Toledo]

Three girls. Young girls.

[John Holmer]

This doorbell ditching your house?

[Toledo]

Yeah, they were, they were there earlier, like, selling girl scout cookies.

[John Holmer]

Really?

[Announcer]

You didn't buy any?

[Toledo]

I didn't buy any.

[John Holmer]

That's why you got torches.

[Toledo]

That's why I got this.

[Announcer]

Yeah, that's on you.

[John Holmer]

See, I always thought.

[Toledo]

I mean, I thought it was funny, but I'm like, oh, there they are.

[John Holmer]

Did you show Kirby and go. Do you know these kids?

[Toledo]

Yeah, she didn't. She. They were younger than her.

[John Holmer]

You've got to go to that person's house and scare the hell out of those kids.

[Toledo]

I've seen them one time on the, on their bikes.

[John Holmer]

And you got a holster up.

[Announcer]

Chase them down.

[John Holmer]

That's the key to doorbell ditching. Ending, which is the best part. Holster and go over to the parents house with the show. You know that you're carrying your daughters did this. Show them the video. Oh, my God. It's a crazy guy with a gun on her front. He wants to talk to the kids. Can't do it. This one says we're two years away from AI doorbells. It'll tell you the person who is at your door. Their social media. That's probably true.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

I start reading your eyes and facial recognition. Find your TikTok page and your Facebook. Tell everybody what you do. I had my doorbell taken out when I remodeled the house. Like, there is no need for one of these. And the guy that was doing it's like, I think you have to have one. I'm like, it says who? My house. No, you don't. And I took it down and I watched several people touch where the doorbell should be and nothing happens. And they just stare at it. And then they'll knock, knock. They just touch my house. And I'm. I'm not coming to the door ever. Answering the door in 2025. You're a crazy person.

[Toledo]

Just makes me think about if you had the doorbell camera and you had the old doorbell, but it just has like the 9 volt shock.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Oh, it would be more than 9 volts. I would put a couple hundred volts. And everybody wants to unexpectedly come to my house. You deserve it. If you're popping by and you want to touch my doorbell, you deserve a good Uncle Sparky. Morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Announcer]

I don't think you can read this one.

[John Holmer]

All right, let's see. Okay. I can't. Thunder Horse is one of our African American listeners. And he said even we. He said Negroes. And he did. Called it with a hard R. Knocking. I never called it that. I participated in it, though. You grew up in Indiana. That's what it's called. And it's just awful. I don't know why that. Then ding dong ditching started. And that seemed more reasonable because. Yeah, like you can't go to. Can't lose your job for that. You might lose your life, though. So be careful. And again, if you've ever been shot at doorbell ditching, you're terrible at it. You shouldn't. The key to it is not being spotted. Those dummies that came to your house and rang the ring doorbell and ran away might be the three dumbest people in Gilbert. That's. You know what you should have replace the doorbell with a shotgun sound.

[Toledo]

That's a great idea.

[John Holmer]

They touch it, the kids just drop dead on your front patio from heart attacks. Hey, let's clean these up and get them back to their families. Yeah. I would have found those kids and gone to that house. Your kids. I'm not mad that they're doorbell ditching. I'm mad that you're raising the three dumbest kids I've ever met in my life. What the hell is this? It's a ring doorbell. It's got a camera on it. Not hiding anything. They're just having fun. Teaching to be smarter. That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Those are dumb kids. Are they young and staying young?

[Toledo]

Like, are they probably 10 or 11?

[John Holmer]

That's too old to be. That's stupid. That's a stupid kid. That is a really dumb child. Anyway, what do you got on the big board of musical treats there, Bert?

[Announcer]

All right, wake up, Tom. Brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And, well, Josh has been running a huge Labor Day special over, obviously, Labor Day used bike demo sale. All new bikes in stock are on sale. 30% off. All the snow gear over at The Gilbert store. 50% off. Goggles, 30% off. Action gear. They got all the helmets at 20 to 40% off. You name it, they got it.

[John Holmer]

And they.

[Announcer]

Actually, I was gonna show you some of the stuff he's got. He's got on sale right now. Check this one out. You may be trading in.

[John Holmer]

Damn it. Come on. I'm emotionally attached to my bikes, so I can't do any trading in. I just.

[Announcer]

You might want to get a new.

[John Holmer]

One here, add to the party. Oh, are they the new pivots?

[Announcer]

Yeah, here's the new Pivot shuttle.

[John Holmer]

Oh, bone white. I love it.

[Announcer]

Retails for 12. 5. On sale right now for 93. Oh, yeah, it's got all carbon fiber. Rocky Mountains going out for 3,300.

[John Holmer]

Well, yeah, yeah, that's the new.

[Announcer]

That's the new one of yours.

[John Holmer]

Oh.

[Announcer]

So check out their Instagram. They got a bunch of sales on different bikes and stuff. Like, smoking deals, too. I'm actually thinking about going down there right now.

[John Holmer]

It sounds like a crazy price to pay until you actually use it. Yeah. And you're like, oh, there's a massive difference here.

[Announcer]

New Santa Cruz's. I mean, you name it, they got it. And some great deals.

[John Holmer]

The Haas one. Yeah. Yeah.

[Announcer]

Well, at both stores. Both stores. Everything's on sale at both stores.

[John Holmer]

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Yeah.

[Announcer]

Full carbon, Rocky Mountain. Under 3, 300 bucks. As long as you mention it to Josh.

[John Holmer]

Oh, boy.

[Announcer]

So actionrideshop.com but again, follow them on all the socials because all the sale prices are right up there for you.

[John Holmer]

Rochelle says our bougie doorbell ditchers used a golf court cart, rang the bell, and then took off around the corner. The ring camera just shows kids with hoodies pulled over their faces. Lazy dicks. It's true. You're just being lazy. Fat little pig. You can't doorbell ditch with transportation idiots.

[Announcer]

All right, on the list, Anthrax, Indians. For our conversation earlier. Motley Crue, gnr, Lamb of God beating on death's door for Brady Electric Callboy Kenny Loggin. Celebrate Me home for Brady. Yeah, Another anthrax tune. New mud vein here. Hurt people. Hurt Danzig. Long way back from hell for Brady.

[Toledo]

Surgery.

[Announcer]

Iron Maiden, White Zombie, The Hives Walk Idiot Walk for these new doorbell ditchers. And Metallica's Escape.

[John Holmer]

I like that walk idiot walk song. And let's not. Let's not celebrate Brady quite yet. The journey has just begun.

[Toledo]

It has.

[John Holmer]

This was just step one of several steps. I don't want him all relaxing and shoving pizza in his mouth while he's got this crippled kidney floating around in his back trying to do yeoman's work. This thing's doing way too much. I'm going to nickname that kitty kidney Lionitis because he's doing the work of Thousands with only 300 men. You've got a mess going on back there, and we're going to fix it. How fast can we get you a new kidney? Like, if we come up with a guy, can they put it in there? Like, in a week?

[Toledo]

If we get the parts I'm still about. Well, according to what I hear, six months out.

[John Holmer]

Six months? Why are they waiting so long?

[Toledo]

Because they want to make sure everything's.

[John Holmer]

Out as far as, oh, it's cancer.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Announcer]

Maybe we should call Jim Manley.

[John Holmer]

Manley.

[Announcer]

He'll probably give you one.

[John Holmer]

He's like the Mikey of organs. Yeah. Hey, Manly will do it. All right. Manly.

[Announcer]

Need a kidney, buddy.

[John Holmer]

Need a kidney, my friend? Do your dog charity thing this weekend. That's fantastic. And then later, we're gonna have to ask you for a kidney. You're the only one nice enough. That'll do it. That looks past what Brady's gonna do to it. I'm not putting one of my good kidneys inside of him. I'll kill it. Jim will do it. Everybody knows Manley. He'll do it. He's a good guy.

[Toledo]

And then I also. I heard. And I gotta ask that tomorrow. But like, anyone, like, over 60, you.

[John Holmer]

Know one of theirs.

[Toledo]

Yeah, they don't.

[John Holmer]

Yuck. That's like having sex with somebody that old. That's disgusting. You don't want anybody's organ in you after 60 hurt.

[Toledo]

But I.

[John Holmer]

Any sort of organ transference over 60 is. Should be against the law. Yeah. You want a kid, you're now on that thing. We always used to joke about that list of. You watch the news different now.

[Toledo]

That one's four to six years. If you're on.

[John Holmer]

If you're on that list. But people who need, like, new lungs, hearts, they need a new Body part like that, the news changes. You see a car accident, everybody make it. Like, how old were they? You don't watch because you have empathy for the car accident anymore. You watch to see if there's any organs.

[Toledo]

Oh, Brady stopped by.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, because even if you're on that list for four to six years, the more car accidents you see, faster you're getting through that list, I would think, right? So you watch car accidents different. I bet you drive home now, looking.

[Announcer]

Around like, oh, even a business card.

[John Holmer]

Give my number to these people just in case somebody didn't make it. No, those transplant people you get, you give me that news at the doctor. Sorry, you're gonna have to get a new heart. We'll put you on the list. I'm watching the news. Every day there's another one. How close? How much? How high have I gotten? How many hearts are ahead of me? You're number 17. That's the worst thing. The docs here. 17th after about 16 car wrecks. I'm calling them. Hey, I've seen channel three showing me 16 car wrapped wrecks. I'm counting fatalities. Where are we at here?

[Toledo]

Yeah, you guys are just looking at the listings. I found this Fizbo here.

[John Holmer]

Right here. He's filling it on his own, but yeah, car accidents, 17 on the list.

[Announcer]

I'd be calling Toledo Stepdad, him. Take care of a few, drop a few people ahead.

[John Holmer]

I mean, I don't think they need hearts. I think they need a talking to. Have Raleigh wandering around getting you up on that list.

[Toledo]

Maybe Frank has an uncle. Could be in Oregon. You gotta go through me.

[John Holmer]

You're gonna feel bad next time you see a car accident on the news, because your brain's gonna do it. Did everyone make it? That's gonna. That's how people who need organs think. That's the way you need to think. That's survival. Nobody who needs a kidney or a heart for survival is gonna sit back and go, I hope everybody lived. That isn't a thing. Not anymore. Terrible. How many people were in that wreck? 16 was a bus full of kids. How old were they? Thirteen. Hot dog. Everybody's gone. Most of them. What's wrong with you? I need a kidney.

[Toledo]

Why are you heading to Frisco, Texas?

[John Holmer]

What were the cowboys?

[Toledo]

That's where the accident happened. The bus accident.

[John Holmer]

I think you're just gonna follow ambulances around for a while. Who's in there? How they do it?

[Toledo]

Not good.

[John Holmer]

Looks bad. Weirdo.

[Toledo]

Got a lot of friends that are EMTs.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Just hanging around the Old fire department. See what you guys are up to. Any massive accidents, a school bus? Kid censored, you sadist. Hey, I gotta live, man.

[Announcer]

Throw a finder's fee out there.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Will you pay somebody five grand for the first kidney? Yeah, if somebody gives you a kidney.

[Toledo]

For a good leaf?

[John Holmer]

No, for their kid. Like if they give you a kidney, like, you kick in, is there a fee?

[Toledo]

I'll figure out something, you know, like a, you know, at least a hundred dollar certificate.

[John Holmer]

No, we've tried this silly joke before and it's not a thing. You got to give somebody like five grand at least to wash away some of the constant guilt of them owning you forever. That's a lot. So if you had five grand in your hand right now and somebody's willing to do it, would you? And you can just go to the doctor and go, I got a guy. When we're clear, he's in, right? You can just drag somebody in there.

[Toledo]

I think so.

[John Holmer]

Okay. What do you mean?

[Toledo]

Well, they. I mean, you have to go through the procedures of the matching up and still this looks like it'll work.

[John Holmer]

But don't you. If you bring a guy willing to give a kidney to the party, don't they find somebody else for you? It's kind of like a. Like the way like if you brought me and I said I'll give a kidney. And they're like, but you're not a match. We'll still take your kidney though. And that moves. Brady's the top of the list because we got another not match over here. I don't think we can swap these out.

[Toledo]

I don't think.

[John Holmer]

Oh, sure they will. Oh, they'd love to if you're will.

[Toledo]

I mean, but I understand the person, like I want to donate it to him. Well, we don't match then. I'm not donating my kid.

[John Holmer]

But I bet you they'd ask you like right away if you like, we've got somebody else. Like Brett's got a guy he doesn't match with that matches with Brady, but we're gonna need your kidney.

[Toledo]

Maybe they do this.

[John Holmer]

They do a swaparoo with the people who are willing to do it. Like if I was gonna give you a kidney and Toledo was gonna give Brett a kidney. But Toledo didn't match with Brett. I didn't match with you. But they had some third party out there. We could just do kidney swap.

[Announcer]

Yeah, a three way trade.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. You get this player to be named later. A kidney. A kidney to be. Yeah, we get some third Party. I am the third kidney. Like, cool. I'm not. Don't get your hopes up. This isn't happening. You're going to find somebody else. I'm not doing that. That scares me. What if my other kidney goes bad? Then what? And I got this pristine teenage kidney floating around in my back. I put it in him. I wouldn't. I. I'd hate you the second I see you around firing food into your gullet. And I'm like, you're wrecking it. You put on weight. I'm like, I can't believe he's doing this to my kidney. I would be so angry that you're abusing. It's like borrowing a car. Comes back with dings in it. You're unhappy. This guy says, two podcast appearances on my podcast and three boxes of sauce and I'll give Brady my kidney. Swiftbird.

[Toledo]

Nice.

[John Holmer]

The magic man's kidney.

[Toledo]

This young man.

[John Holmer]

I'm gonna speak for Brady and his Scioto Country Club upbringing. He doesn't want your poor people kidney. I can tell you right now, the thing your kidneys. He can't handle the rich food spread he's gonna put on top of it. Don't do it. His blood's thicker than your poor blood. It's like they're running on 90 weight. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You can't just go pouring that heavy stuff in there. You're light 30 weight away. Thank you for the offer, but. Sorry. Brady says you're too poor for him to take your organs. He'd rather die.

[Toledo]

I'd sooner die than have Swiss Franc kidney inside me.

[Announcer]

What if you needed one in, like, Guy Fieri or Pratt offered their kidney up to you?

[John Holmer]

Do they die in. The only reason why is because I would kind of hope they might die in the surgery. Nope. If he offered up a kidney, I wouldn't even. I'd be like, you dick. Absolutely.

[Announcer]

Give me dialysis.

[John Holmer]

Dialysis cut me off. Earth is over. I don't want anything to do with that world. Hey, we got a bunch of people out here listening, though. And I bet you they would. This guy says, as a recent transport recipient, they told me the opioid and fentanyl epidemic has made organs much, much more available. Good news, Brady. Every time you see a story about the opioid crisis going up, that's good for you. That's great. I didn't even think of that. Phil, thank you for that great info.

[Toledo]

I thought he was threatening my supply of oxy right now.

[John Holmer]

No. You're on it, right?

[Announcer]

You could probably trade that for a kidney.

[John Holmer]

Actually, Brady's gonna watch the news. Totally different now. A few druggies over in Tempe dropped out.

[Toledo]

Finally a reason. Watch the news.

[John Holmer]

Are they donors?

[Announcer]

He's gonna be an AJ Trading oxy for kidneys.

[John Holmer]

He does that little roundup with the pill bottle. Did you guys hear that? The Apache Junction mating call.

[Toledo]

That'd be a good little five minute segment for the news. Organ roundup at the end.

[John Holmer]

Well, to put a little positive spin on it and say, well, five new organs are available here at this car crash. When it's terrible for the people who lost someone. But in a way the circle of life, the way we do it now. What are you gonna do? It is time now for we'll do the hives walk. Idiot walk. I like that one. It's a great song. And that's for you. Doorbell. Bitching kids. It's already 7:40. See, we haven't talked for so long. It just went. I've gone late. It's 98K. But here's your wake up.

[Toledo]

Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool actually.

[John Holmer]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He a bit rude. All these. All these precious listeners volunteering kidneys. We just had a fire truck and a ambulance go by. Watch Brady light up, take another guy off the list.

[Toledo]

Wait a minute. They're doing that on purpose?

[John Holmer]

Yeah, I think so too. I think the fire department was listening and they're. They're gonna. They're gonna throw the reds on and drive by with the sirens going. Every once in a while they get Brady's hopes up. Sure, it be a shame if like 50 or 60 people got in wrecks this weekend. Did it over Labor Day weekend. That's usually when a lot of people are on the roads, count on a couple of accidents. You're. You're going to watch the news different. This guy says, I'll give Brady my kidney for one night with his wife.

[Toledo]

Okay.

[John Holmer]

All right. If she loved you.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

She'd do that. Wonder if that. Yeah, I think I'd go with that.

[Toledo]

I'll ask.

[John Holmer]

I got a 33 year old kidney that Brady can have. I'm in great shape. Minimal drinking, had a healthy diet. I've maintained this thing wonderfully. Going rate is 5k and a used generator. Sauce? Not accepted. 5k in an old generator. I Think that's something. You have to go ask that guy to get the generator back. What do you think will happen? Brady will get his kidney or a generator first.

[Announcer]

I'm going neither, actually. But kidney's probably the safer one out of the two.

[John Holmer]

Kidney's easier to get than that generator from that guy, Brady's mean friend. He wanted to pop us all in the chops for stealing something from Brady. Yeah, I stole from him. You got a problem with it, you just give it back. I'm gonna pop you in the chops, big mouth. All right, nut bag. This guy says, would Brady accept a homeless person's kidney? I'm gonna answer that for him. No, he won't. And the reason why I went to one of those. After my uncle died, he gave up all of his insides, and I went to one of those parties where people. The recipients of the organs are still alive. Well, yeah, they would have to be.

[Toledo]

That would be terribly alive. And the donors alive.

[John Holmer]

No.

[Toledo]

Oh.

[John Holmer]

Oh, the other way. My uncle didn't make it. They gutted him like a trout. And then they gave all of his stuff away. And we didn't know for sure where all of his things went. But one of the ladies was pretty sure that my uncle Bob gave his. Might have been a kidney or liver or something. I don't remember. But she came by, started, like, getting all weepy, and then they have stories, and one of the guys went up there. I think I told you this. He went up there and said that his. Her husband was not a fan, was a huge Phillies fan, and he passed away. I think it was a car wreck. He passed away. Just a massive Phillies fan, the way I am with the Steelers. This guy was with the Phillies. He had a whole part of his house decked out. She's given the speech, and then you meet the person through a video that was the recipient of his order organs. And the dude knew a bunch of Philly stuff. He didn't know he didn't like baseball at all. And after the kidney transplant, he. He, like, retained Phillies information, not knowing at all his donor, and became a Phillies fan. After the surgery, it was like this weird draw to the Phillies. Now, I don't know how much they made that up for people to become organ donors in the crowd, but it was really kind of. So the last thing Brady needs is some home homeless guy having his thoughts transferred through his kidney transfer. You don't need that. You need somebody who. Who's had a normal life, A homeless guy. The next thing. Brady.

[Toledo]

That's a Nice looking grocery cart.

[John Holmer]

He's pushing carts around and he wants.

[Announcer]

A credit report before he takes a kidney.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Would you. Would you?

[Announcer]

What's that?

[John Holmer]

If I wouldn't trust their credit, do I trust their organs? No. Thank you. Thanks. Yeah, you got to be 750 or higher. I need to see your credit karma before I take your organs. There's no way. And Brady doesn't want some homeless kidney looking around with. You know, every once in a Brady, I'm covered in leeches. I'm covered. No you're not. It's your homeless thoughts back in again. He starts asking you for money every once in a while. What are you doing, Brady? Making a sign. For what? I don't know. I'm compelled to make signs to stand.

[Toledo]

By the road with. Don't throw that cardboard away.

[John Holmer]

Give me that. That's a good house. That's a box for a washing machine. I could use that. No, you can't. He already has hoarder in him. Imagine got a shopping cart full of beer cans that he thinks have value. He's insane. Come on. Our friend Brian Spangler. Spanky.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

Just sent me a picture of a semi truck that he's. That he's jumping. He said next year I'm jumping a semi truck for the world record. If for some reason I don't make it. And this guy's not kidding. This is what he does for a living. Some reason I don't make it. I'll write it down on a napkin and a Sharpie that Brady gets my kidney. That's nice. You can have a daredevil's kidney.

[Toledo]

Spanky.

[John Holmer]

Human. And then he's got this. Look at this picture of this semi truck in here. Oh man, he's leaping a semi. Yeah, you might want to get on. I want to see if Mr. Spangler is available. Cuz I don't think those kidneys are going to last long. Man, oh man, how does that land? I need to see more than just a photo of a flying semi truck. How does that thing land?

[Toledo]

And you might see him briefly at the Halloween party.

[John Holmer]

Oh yeah, when he shows up dressed as an Indian and then gets us. Yeah, I'll wave to him next time. This one says, tell Brady I got a kidney for him and for Ronnie, some bone marrow. Signed Rico Blaze. All right. Anyway, got a kidney for Brady so he doesn't have to watch the the news badly anymore. You know, it's available for a fee. Name your price. Brady will pull a kidney out of you. Brady would Take that homeless guy's kidney. You guys would come to work and all the copper would be missing in the walls. Yeah, it's true. He'd start doing homeless guy stuff. I want maybe young hot girl kidney and Brady. And then watch him start doing TikTok dances and come to work in those tight shorts with the. You know.

[Toledo]

Now I'd be doing a fall.

[John Holmer]

Those videos for the sorority videos. Some of the bottom of Brady's ass hanging out of his shorts a little bit.

[Announcer]

Caitlyn, if she'll give you a kidney. I mean you took her on vacation, you paid for a room.

[John Holmer]

That's not bad. She owes hers are probably functioning at 100%. Stuff him in your carcass. Get him up to about 70. That's still great. We gotta get Brady back in. Back on the. Everybody's asking. Yeah, don't order. We're not. This guy says order pizza in front of him. See how mad he gets. No, don't do that. We're not gonna be mean to his bad kid. Get him a new kidney and start eating pizza again and abuse it. Brady, it is time now for you to give us all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady report and it's good to have it back. Brought to you by our [e-mail] if you have your shades and you had like I had that haboob that blew through last week. I had opened up this gigantic umbrella. You know, my umbrella tail over at the rental house. I left it open, seen McLaughlin said it out loud. No chance of rain tonight. It's gonna be a nice mild night. Maybe tomorrow. So I left it open and then that thing blew through the city. I had to drive all the way over there and put that dumb umbrella down because scene doesn't do his job. It would have been great with all pro Shade because when the wind gets going, they retract themselves. They've got sensors so if they start going, ah, we're moving around a little too much. They retract themselves. You don't have to worry about that nonsense of finding your awnings, you know, all bent up or in the pool or even worse, worse. So check it out. AllProchade.com it's the only way to get shade in that yard of yours. Check it out. Allprochade.com Brady Reporter Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix.

[Toledo]

Hello world.

[John Holmer]

Hi, Brady.

[Toledo]

Happy national live fearless day.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

It'S also telephone Tuesday.

[John Holmer]

Not you, Brady. You should live in great fear that this is it. And just Kind of take it easy. Let's not get you jumping over lakes and semis.

[Toledo]

It basically urges people to live fear fearlessly. Encourages individuals to appreciate the people in their lives that have been there to support them. It also calls for people living without the best of or fullest expression of themselves to pursue activities that inspire courage.

[Brady]

See what Brady's doing.

[John Holmer]

What?

[Brady]

He's trolling for a new kidney.

[John Holmer]

Kidney.

[Brady]

Be fearless people.

[John Holmer]

If you're afraid of it, change your mindset. Do whatever it is you're afraid of. Like give a kidney away.

[Brady]

Put your buddy Brady down as a recipient.

[John Holmer]

You got an igloo cooler and some ice. That's all you need. Has anyone offered that you've said no? Just based on who they are that.

[Toledo]

I've said no to?

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

No.

[John Holmer]

No one that wasn't honest with you would take Switford's case. Kidney.

[Toledo]

I'm not saying no to anyone.

[John Holmer]

Right. You're just say notice with your eyes said no. Your body suggests but your eyes say no. If Switbert wants to hand you a kidney, you're gonna be like I'm doing all right. I'm hanging 20 right now. It's doctor says I got a couple of months.

[Announcer]

Good enough.

[John Holmer]

22 is better than I'll take it. I'll take a 22. 0 versus a 80. 22. Swiftbert. Magic man.

[Toledo]

And being telephone Tuesday. Because Tuesday following Labor Day is the busiest business day for phone calls.

[John Holmer]

Oh no. People get back on board.

[Toledo]

Yep.

[John Holmer]

We hit in that because the next stop is Halloween. Thanksgiving. We don't have any breaks till then. It's so hard to believe we're two months away from that. That's mind boggling.

[Toledo]

Couple of bases. Fun fact. Canada, California and Tokyo all have very similar populations. Canada's current population estimated 41 1/2 million. Tokyo's metro area is 41 million.

[John Holmer]

It is.

[Toledo]

And California is 39.4 million.

[John Holmer]

Tokyo's bigger than California. I didn't think it was that big, but I guess maybe 25. Like New York work. But it's 40 million.

[Toledo]

It's amazing.

[John Holmer]

Good thing they're small. Good Christ. You imagine if they were Americans and.

[Brady]

They are crammed in everything.

[John Holmer]

That's why now it makes sense that they sleep in drawers and stuff. And people can call that racist. But I've seen the 60 minutes where they're stuffing them in drawers like they'd made a joke about it on Seinfeld. Their hotel rooms are pods. They don't have any room room.

[Toledo]

You can't legally get married in Ohio, if you have syphilis.

[John Holmer]

That's why I'm just wondering.

[Toledo]

I didn't. I was gonna see what states. Then I said, yeah, well, they used.

[John Holmer]

To blood test you first.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

Maybe they might be too soon to say this, but maybe Godzilla was beneficial to the Tokyo area to kind of keep their population at bay and pop up every once in a while and clear out a million million or so. 41 million people. Phoenix's traffic is 5 million.

[Toledo]

Yeah. They must just laugh.

[John Holmer]

That's bigger. We are solo compared to them.

[Toledo]

That's mind boggling.

[John Holmer]

I can't put my head around that. Is there a bigger city than that, than Tokyo?

[Brady]

Mexico City maybe?

[John Holmer]

No, Mexico city is like 25.

[Brady]

You think? Think it's only that much?

[John Holmer]

I don't think it's. Yeah, yeah, maybe. Is Tokyo the biggest city in the. It's got to be like India. Yeah, but do they even count if they don't have homes? Like, it's like 42 million people in Calcutta are just walking around. I don't think they actually live there, so to speak. They're just kind of lost, stuck there.

[Toledo]

You're counted. You still count.

[John Holmer]

Does the census go through and go Nahim Voodoo did. If I do, I'd lived here for a long time. You don't live anywhere. You're standing outside. Morning sickness. 98 Kupd Hol's Morning Sickness.

[Brady]

Tokyo's the biggest. Delhi. India's the next one.

[John Holmer]

Old deli. Noon deli.

[Brady]

Deli deli.

[John Holmer]

Did we get rid of the news deli? Has it been around long enough? We don't call it noon deli, just Delhi.

[Brady]

Total population, including the city and urban area, 32 of Delhi, Tokyo.

[John Holmer]

Tokyo's a full Chicago bigger.

[Toledo]

Wow.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, Wow. I had no idea.

[Brady]

Shanghai Sao Paulo is fourth.

[John Holmer]

You'd think that little island would sink with 40 million people in one spot. Just seems so small on that 41 million.

[Toledo]

Remember the bird from Twitter's logo?

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Its name was Larry.

[John Holmer]

Elon killed it.

[Toledo]

As in Larry Bird. That's because the co founder of Twitter Biz Stone grew up in Massachusetts. He was a huge Boston Celtics fan.

[John Holmer]

Larry's out to pasture now.

[Toledo]

A new study found Most people under 30 can't look at an old school clock and tell what time it is right away.

[John Holmer]

How many?

[Toledo]

95% of boomers can tell. And over 80% of Gen Xers and sleep. But when it came to the millennials and gen zers, only about 43% can look at a clock and know.

[John Holmer]

You know what's most disappointing? About that. 5% of boomers can't tell time. That shouldn't have. That they were using sundials and stuff. They should be great. Great at telling time.

[Toledo]

It takes a while for most zoomers to figure it out. 45 said a few seconds. 6% said more than that that they're.

[John Holmer]

The clock face just destroyed. Wow.

[Toledo]

It says 56 of Americans still own an alarm clock.

[John Holmer]

Clock.

[Toledo]

54% have a wall clock. 33% have a smartwatch. 11% still have a freestanding or a grandfather clock.

[John Holmer]

I never got those either. That's just too much to tell.

[Toledo]

My sister has one.

[John Holmer]

It's. It's. It's.

[Toledo]

But that's been the family for.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. They're just dumb. They take up a huge chunk of space just for the time. And they're not that good. Good looking either. And there might.

[Toledo]

It's gotta. Yeah. It goes well with her house.

[John Holmer]

Other than that she's got old.

[Toledo]

Yeah. A lot of woodwork.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. And does it make noise?

[Toledo]

Yeah. Oh, it's nice.

[John Holmer]

Most people with grandfather clocks break them so they don't wake them up at midnight.

[Brady]

You think the cuckoo clock is still around?

[John Holmer]

It's still around. Yeah.

[Announcer]

In Sun City. All that kind of stuff.

[John Holmer]

Old weirdos who can't hear.

[Brady]

Anybody younger than do you think Young.

[John Holmer]

People maybe Just as sort of a novelty. There's a hot girl with a cuckoo clock in her kick ass apartment over in Scottsdale. You'll occasionally catch it in one of her Easy Kill dance video. Oh, totally nitty kill. All you gotta do is buy her something vintage. Yep.

[Toledo]

Man in the LA area. Flew home on Friday. Couldn't find his luggage at the baggage claim. Had an airtag inside. So he checked to see where it was. Saw it was moving away from the airport toward the ride share area. That's when he realized it had been taken. He started chasing it. Eventually saw it stop at a boarded up abandoned building about a half mile away. His partner called the cops and they responded. The officers shined flashlights inside the building, saw some movement, went outside. They found, found some people inside. Then lined them up and one of them was wearing the dude's clothes.

[John Holmer]

Wow.

[Brady]

That was quick.

[Toledo]

The guy was allowed to collect his things which were stolen or strewn throughout the building. He says he was able to get about 90 of his stuff back. Sounds like the police are still investigating because there's no word on any charges yet.

[Announcer]

Wasn't that coming to America where they stole all their clothes?

[John Holmer]

I don't know.

[Toledo]

Louis Vuitton chest.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

John can you watch Brady's face as Toledo reads this text.

[John Holmer]

Okay Brady, you don't have to look at me.

[Brady]

How do you feel about a Hispanic kidney?

[John Holmer]

You take one of those.

[Toledo]

See?

[John Holmer]

See they're bean shaped food possibilities. Yeah. Bean shaped kidney. How ironic. I'll take it ideos meal. Freddy would just say that all the time. Meats start going to the dentist at a day in. I don't know. I just feel compelled to get my teeth done here at this hotel. You have tong Jorge. You'd have all guys in your.

[Toledo]

Just certain projects around the house. You know what? I can fix that.

[John Holmer]

Brady's just doing yard work. I don't even know why I have to. Speaking of, on vacation I stay up all. I do it anyway. I stay up all night. So I had some solar light lights to build. I'm being really productive. So I had them at the rental house. I built their big It's. I'm putting lamp posts up. Giant ones for my basketball court. So I'm building these lights tied to the top. And I got dead tired at like one. I don't know what was going on. So I fell asleep kind of halfway TVs on 2 in the morning. Somebody started weed eating.

[Toledo]

Come on.

[John Holmer]

2 in the morning. Morning. Wow. And I came up with the character of Mexter. He kills and does your yard work. He cleans up after by doing. He's a Mexican serial killer. Whose calling card is that? Your perfectly manicured lawn is what the cops will find before they find you.

[Brady]

Are those his murder weapons too? All the ones.

[John Holmer]

Oh yeah. He killed. He kills with all of his materials. But he started to weed eat to cover up the fact that if you heard weed eater at all at 2 in the morning. Killing the person inside side who does that. And then some guy just screamed shut the up. And I started laughing like my God. And he stopped. How drunk are you?

[Toledo]

Must have the old school. Like he finally was able to thread the new spool.

[John Holmer]

Maybe. Yeah. He might have started at noon and finally got the spool through. I thought at first somebody was just revving a weird little motorcycle. And then. But then it became unmistakable.

[Toledo]

See it sound like almost like a remote.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. After a while you just realize like somebody's doing yard work. It's two.

[Toledo]

The 1.3 billion dollar Powerball jackpots in play this Wednesday. Tomorrow.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, I gotta get it on that.

[Toledo]

12 tickets won a million dollars in last night's Powerball.

[John Holmer]

12 of them.

[Toledo]

Yep.

[John Holmer]

Man. Gotta get on that million. A billion billion three they said right for tomorrow's drawing.

[Toledo]

Billion three. That's an estimated cash value of 589 million.

[John Holmer]

What? That's well over half. That's not normal. Usually they take about 40%. That's 60.

[Toledo]

Yeah. By the way, I thought that was about. I think that that's what I figured the payout would be right around that. More than 40%.

[John Holmer]

That's giving you 40%. They're taking 60.

[Brady]

Well, and then don't you have to pay on the.

[John Holmer]

Well, that's your taxes.

[Brady]

That's your tax.

[Toledo]

Right. And then I assume gaming tax.

[John Holmer]

Oh, no, I think that's all included. I think. I don't think they're taking 60% as a fee. Fee. And then you go pay another 36 plus. Plus 10 as a capital gain.

[Brady]

That would seem heavy. And one more.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, exactly. Wouldn't be surprising. We'll find out. Hopefully one of us will find out. That'd be great.

[Brady]

We gonna have that office email? Would you like to get in on the one billion dollar pool? No. Wintermire.

[Announcer]

Yeah, Wintermeyer's not here.

[John Holmer]

Oh, that's true. That's a good point.

[Brady]

Brady, would you take a kidney from a shady?

[John Holmer]

Oh my God, sure. Not what you'd say though.

[Announcer]

He's a doorbell ditching at midnight now.

[John Holmer]

From either because he didn't know it was Shady McCoy he thought was still playing, so he picked him to like have a hundred yards. My favorite one. I'm like, what? Shady retired? There's another shady?

[Toledo]

No, there's nothing for some reason. There's this recipe from 1975. It's gone viral online. It's a recipe for pancake soup.

[John Holmer]

Oh, Toledo.

[Toledo]

Tick tockers are taking to this recipe. It's a traditional German soup recipe.

[John Holmer]

Sounds awful. It does.

[Toledo]

You make the pancakes and then you cut it up into strips and then you put it in a broth Spidey.

[John Holmer]

Even I up in heaven think that's the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life. And I'll eat anything.

[Toledo]

Flawless dumpling.

[John Holmer]

By the way, Brady, when you said pancake, your little broken dick got hard for a second there, even after the.

[Toledo]

Catch got tugged out.

[John Holmer]

Brady told us about his penis.

[Toledo]

Says his balls are all swelled up.

[John Holmer]

Like a couple of eggs.

[Toledo]

Got a grapefruit.

[John Holmer]

That's right.

[Toledo]

Don't talk about pancake soup. Noise make Toledo run around the room. We got a guy that's accused of recording. Oh, see Ralphie, this dude's accused of recording up a woman's skirt at the University of Central Florida's Library.

[Announcer]

What's wrong with people?

[Toledo]

But he said his name's yonSu William Lee. 23 years old.

[John Holmer]

Oh, we just had a camera. That's what racist.

[Toledo]

He's like, that was my job to.

[John Holmer]

Take pictures of women's.

[Toledo]

Cuz the girl was sending those videos and getting paid for him.

[John Holmer]

Oh, he got caught. He got caught and the girl ran away and said, I'm not with him.

[Toledo]

They didn't get in touch with the one accuser saying now she's saying, yeah, no, he didn't have permission.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

It's like, wait a minute, this is my job.

[John Holmer]

Nobody has that as a job. Nobody's job is to do upskirts shots. You get a selfie stick for that. If you're taking pictures of your snooch and you're throwing it out on the Internet, you're not having a. Although if you're going to hire anybody, have an Asian, you're going to get thousands of pictures. William Lee. I gotta say, I don't think that's as real.

[Toledo]

Middle name Bill Miracle Hat.

[John Holmer]

Looks like a Bill. He looks like. Yeah. Ah, my name Yan Su. Call me Bill. No, Stop taking pictures. Did my job. I take pictures of snatch. Knock it off. William Bill Yanu Billy. I like wild west character from China. Yanu Billy. He.

[Toledo]

Had a freelance Frito Lay truck rolling down Northern California River Canyon highway. It was 199 route. 199. Went over the edge, fell 150ft, end up landing upright. The guy got out of that truck.

[John Holmer]

Was Spangler driving it.

[Toledo]

I don't know. But the pictures of it were the Fritos.

[John Holmer]

Safe is what you're concerned about.

[Toledo]

Chips were still packing.

[John Holmer]

Whoa. That's what. That's that classic shot that they go to in every movie of a car shooting off a cliff. It's that same.

[Toledo]

It does look like that.

[John Holmer]

Holy smokes. Wow. Yeah, the whole thing's intact. Like the box with the Fritos in it. It all looks good. Jeez.

[Toledo]

You missed out on this weekend. The 2025 edition of the Redhead Days festival happened in the Netherlands.

[John Holmer]

Had to go crazy.

[Toledo]

Hillberg. Thousands of redheads celebrate this festival every year. Get together.

[John Holmer]

I'm not a fan of this. Because if you get redheads together, you're going to have a few of them genetically mutate more redheads. What? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. When redhead, you know, it's a mutation. It's not a. It's not a good thing. There's something wrong with you. And so when two of them get Together they're guaranteed to make a third. And we need to. We need to make it illegal for redheads to date humans. At the very least just wipe them off the planet.

[Toledo]

Wasn't Brady Gingery at one point?

[John Holmer]

Not gingery. He was leaning. He was. One more speed bump on the way to the hospital to be in a redhead. Also down symptoms.

[Toledo]

I've got great genes.

[John Holmer]

Oh, thanks Sydney. Yeah, they just threw half of them. Some of them are at a trash can at hospital.

[Toledo]

This is your guy, John. Doogie Sand Tiger. Known as the croc king. Earned a place in the Guinness world record with his collection of crochet crocs. 3569 pairs of crocs. Congratulations Doogie sand tiger.

[John Holmer]

That's good stuff. So John, how hilarious would it be after all these years if you were riding your bike over there in Sodomy Gulch and saw Brady given. Given hand jobs and BJ's in the parking lot because they got a kidney from a homeless gay, tears streaming down his moon faced cheeks from the prednisone. I'm so sorry. Jesus. I just have to do it. It's your plan. Gulp.

[Brady]

Somebody else asked if you take a kidney from an only fans personally, Male or female?

[John Holmer]

Yes. What about a porn star?

[Brady]

Oh sure.

[John Holmer]

No kidding.

[Announcer]

Yeah, Think of all the stuff that it's filtered out.

[John Holmer]

Oh, that's a good point. That thing's seen at all that is true. That blood has been like filtered. It's a good point. What about a gay porn star? Nope. Would you not take a homosexual porn star's organs?

[Toledo]

Look, the kidney right now is. It's all skate.

[John Holmer]

You would take anything.

[Toledo]

Yeah, if it's a healthy.

[John Holmer]

As long as it tests.

[Toledo]

Okay.

[John Holmer]

Boy, I don't know. But knowing what I know that part of the organ donation is that you can take on some of the traits of your organ donatee donator. What if that was guaranteed?

[Brady]

Yeah, you have a hankering for that?

[John Holmer]

It would. That it would creep into your brain.

[Toledo]

That might change things a little bit.

[John Holmer]

The gay porn stars out.

[Toledo]

Most likely.

[John Holmer]

You wouldn't want and he died in a terrible like train wreck. You wouldn't want his legacy.

[Brady]

Not that kind of train.

[John Holmer]

No, no, no. It wasn't like on the Rails. It was a train wreck in his world. Yeah. Got stuck in the middle of a train and they pulled his insides out.

[Toledo]

But his kid jammed up. He got jammed up.

[John Holmer]

He got jammed up.

[Toledo]

I got two quick pretty videos.

[John Holmer]

What about the worst of all? A woman.

[Toledo]

That'd be a tough one.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. He's get all emotional. And I'm not saying that as like women kidneys are no good. If we took on the traits of women.

[Toledo]

Well, in the flip side of it, I'd know everything.

[John Holmer]

Oh, that is true. You'd never be. You never have to apologize again. They don't do that. That's good. Maybe you should take a lady still.

[Brady]

Be heading toward menopause at that point because of his age or would it matter?

[Toledo]

That would be rough and baby fever stage.

[John Holmer]

Oh, start wanting a kid in you. I don't know if it's that precise. I think you just might start liking the Phillies or something.

[Toledo]

First one. This guy gets shoved by two dudes. Kind of push him to the side and he reacts.

[John Holmer]

Timeout. Before you hit play Michigan Wolverine from last year's team.

[Toledo]

Like Leia said right now it's an awesome.

[John Holmer]

You would take a Michigan Wolverine kidney.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

What if he said the M logo? Yeah, what if he said. What if he said you had to start supporting Michigan and he's the only kidney that matches?

[Toledo]

Yeah. Flake that. Yeah, that'd be out. I'd be out.

[John Holmer]

You die before you support them. I don't believe you. I think you'd be wearing that.

[Brady]

You'd rather have some good years left.

[John Holmer]

Tom Brady should have won that job. All right, go ahead. We're just in some sort of weird coffee shop or something. Guy just front kicked the person. This guy just little tiny person. Oh, doesn't matter. This turns how quick that happens. Five foot guy walks.

[Toledo]

I'm like, is that a high? I don't think it is.

[John Holmer]

It looks just like him, right?

[Toledo]

That's fake.

[John Holmer]

He gets kicked by. I think it's fake too.

[Brady]

They set that up.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, because why would you kick him in the first place? And then he walks back to the table where two dudes are sitting. He does two high kicks, right? So that second looks pretty real.

[Brady]

That first one.

[John Holmer]

That dude.

[Toledo]

The second reaction action's really good. I mean like the stumble.

[John Holmer]

They just pushed the guy. Yeah, he overacts the first initial push. You're right. And instead he's walking away. It's pretty ridiculous though. Hey, just being able to do that's pretty impressive. Then he took a picture up their skirts. That's William. That's Billy. Billy Singhai.

[Toledo]

Next one's some kind of. It's not a pinewood derby, but it looks like they've made these vehicles race down the track.

[Brady]

The Red Bull flug top.

[Toledo]

I don't know cuz it's not. There's no wings on it either.

[John Holmer]

I didn't some homemade cars out of boxes. Oh, it just goes into the crowd and kills many. Look at all those kidneys available, Brady.

[Toledo]

It's called jackpot.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. That is Brady's dream. Is that a. Unintentionally a speeding Soapbox kills 15. Oh, yeah. That's not a good thing. I need to put some. Look at the barriers. They're just tiny little sandbags.

[Announcer]

You've seen those hillbillies do the Barbie Jeep races and stuff back in the.

[John Holmer]

No, like Arkansas. Oh, man. What's that? Oh, they get those Barbie Jeeps. I see what you're saying.

[Announcer]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmer]

And they get in them.

[Announcer]

Oh, they race them downhill.

[John Holmer]

Yes.

[Announcer]

These hillbillies are back there.

[Toledo]

Serious injuries.

[John Holmer]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Announcer]

You got some Toledo.

[John Holmer]

See, Brady, understand they're hurt. Oh, my goodness. That's a video.

[Toledo]

Holy smokes.

[John Holmer]

Huge Barbie Jeeps. Oh, geez. That's no good. That one just kept spinning into the crowd. Here they come. Oh, this guy's face down on his. Into the crowd. Crowd. Yeah. How many hillbillies show up for this? There's a girl.

[Announcer]

That's a bronze girl.

[Toledo]

Back up.

[John Holmer]

Oh, she's got so many STDs. There are. There's. Look at this.

[Brady]

That's one of those pink ones.

[Toledo]

Oh.

[John Holmer]

Oh, he almost made it all the way to the mud puddle, which is the finish line. Thousands of rednecks show up to watch this.

[Toledo]

What is.

[John Holmer]

Look at the crowd. I've never seen this in my life.

[Toledo]

Is that success when you make.

[John Holmer]

If you're curious, it's called rednecks and Paychecks. You can Google search that. The Barbie Jeep downhill. Look at the crowd. The Cardinals don't get crowds like this. The Diamondbacks would kill for this.

[Brady]

Rednecks with paychecks.

[John Holmer]

All right, that's.

[Brady]

Can we organize one of these?

[John Holmer]

No. We can't even have a golf tournament. You think you want to crash rednecks into each other.

[Brady]

Sorry, I lost my mind for a second.

[John Holmer]

All right. Yeah. We're not allowed to do anything. Imagine. Hey, we got an idea. To the lawyers at Hubbard. And they pick up. They be.

[Announcer]

How about some nose beer?

[John Holmer]

Hold on. They call the lawyers and they'd be like, hold on. I'll call our hubard lawyers. Hey, guys, it's John out in Phoenix. We wanted to have a contest out here. Golf tournament. No, no. We want to do. We want to smash rednecks into each other. Other. That's. That's when you call the executives at Hubbard.

[Announcer]

Here's A new way to drink beer.

[John Holmer]

Asian guy is drinking beer through his nostrils.

[Brady]

Is he? Or is it pouring out?

[Announcer]

No, look at him.

[John Holmer]

It's going right in. He's not spilling a drop. His face is so flat he can drink with his nose. He's not even sure it's not going in his mouth. Oh, my God. Wow. Wow. Kim Jong Un can pound beer through his nose. That's amazing. Holy cow. Maybe we should start listening to North Korea. They. They may have some new ideas. Oh, boy.

[Announcer]

Little video for you.

[John Holmer]

Here's a girl. Oh, looks like she's performing oral on another girl.

[Toledo]

Nope.

[John Holmer]

Oh, it's a tiny little fella. Oh, my God. So her face is over the genitals to make it appear to be girl on girl action. And then she lifts her head off in a one inch and it's almost.

[Announcer]

Girl on girl at that point.

[John Holmer]

It is. I'd rather be. Oh, my God. Would you take that guy's kidney, Brady?

[Toledo]

Yep.

[John Holmer]

There you go. Here's the girl walking through the. Oh, she's out in the up. She's been hooked by a fisherman. And he's got her shirt. Oh, he's accidentally taken her shirt off with his fishing hook. He gives her his fishing vest because he's a.

[Brady]

Show me your fish.

[John Holmer]

There's her. Oh, my God. It turns out it's a fellow. And the fellow with Kansas now raping the fisherman in the woods. This beautiful penis having.

[Announcer]

It's got the Kai music going too.

[John Holmer]

Is she tied on? She's strapped on. No, no.

[Announcer]

If you.

[John Holmer]

Oh, yeah. That's a big hand. That's a fella. That's a big. That was unexpected. I did not. You could have given me a thousand guesses. If you deposit that and said, what happened? We had to play that. That. Pause it. Oh, what happens? And then. And then we'll have a little thing on what happens. None of us would have. Well, that's a fella.

[Toledo]

I'm not feeling too good right now.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, I think you need to turn away or take some pain pills. All right.

[Announcer]

Little shooting action.

[John Holmer]

Here's a penis. We're. Oh, God. It's got like salmon eggs in it. Peeing out. Yes, like little salmon egg boba te bot.

[Brady]

Kidney stones look like Brady.

[Announcer]

That's what I was wondering.

[John Holmer]

No, these are perfect circles. What's in there? I don't know.

[Announcer]

It said bbs, but those aren't babies.

[Toledo]

Rubber bb.

[John Holmer]

Oh, those little nerf BBC. How to get them in there? Well, you don't want. How many videos have we seen?

[Announcer]

And.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Did they send over a blumpkin? I bet they did. Morons.

[Announcer]

It's just entitled. You asked for it.

[John Holmer]

Oh, it's a blumpkin, isn't it? Oh God. Oh, she's got it all over her face. Oh, she's covered in poop. Why aren't. Oh God.

[Toledo]

Oh, this is good. I can't watch. It hurts. It hurts. You asked for it.

[John Holmer]

Turn it on. Enough.

[Toledo]

That mask isn't helping.

[John Holmer]

There's still like two minutes left. What are you doing? That's good. That isn't a blumpkin. That's just a lady eating poop. That's not a bumpkin. Oh, God.

[Brady]

Definitely is not.

[Toledo]

We didn't ask for that.

[John Holmer]

That was not what we asked for. Oh my God. And she took a little one out. Ate it. She just ate it. Would you take her kidney?

[Announcer]

Well, I'm there.

[John Holmer]

Bathrooms make me hungry now. Oh my God, my eyes. This guy says about our earlier conversation about ding dong ditching. He says maybe that's all Toledo's dad did to his mom like 50 something years ago. He's just hiding. That could be it was just a really elaborate doorbell date. He rang her bell and then disappeared for half a century. Wow. Oh my God. That one got me. There you go. Everybody, that is your brother. Freddy report. It's 98k upd. Ugh.

[Toledo]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually.

[John Holmer]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. Man, Brady people sure do love the idea of your kidneys being on their mind. I think that's awesome. I think it's fantastic. Everybody asking. Brian Hansen just emailed and says Brady said he's a pike, right? Beta Theta PI. Beta Theta PI. Not a pike. You were in a fraternity. He's like, well, I didn't get one of them frat brothers to get in there. I thought you guys were supposed to be brothers for life. And Brady points out too old and useless. That's like putting his own kidney back in himself. You don't want some 60 year old banged up kidney. No, think about it. If you were getting a new in.

[Toledo]

A couple, couple of already stepped up, you know.

[John Holmer]

Oh, they'll say so. But they know their six year old kidneys are not going in and out. They're not meaning it. They're just saying the Right thing. Brady just took a pain pill. It's the first time Brady's ever been. All right.

[Announcer]

I can't wait.

[John Holmer]

Heavy drugs while doing the show. Nice job. He's on an illegal red cap. He broke out the red caps. Apache Junction. If you see Brady walking around, he's got a pocket full of your dream dreams. He's gonna get rolled. Oh, you're gonna. It won't be hard. Knock him down. Ouch.

[Toledo]

A little bit.

[John Holmer]

What are you doing?

[Toledo]

Easy target.

[John Holmer]

Why are you attacking me, dragon? Oh, he's got some in his pocket. Brett, you were at the last couple native grilling wings contests and pounding the. Getting the wing people in there tomorrow or. Yes, tomorrow. Tomorrow. Out at i10. And Ray, I'm gonna go host the finale of this thing. Holmberg's handle the heat finale. Somebody's gonna walk out of there with 979 bucks just for eating something phenomenal. It's gonna happen there. And if you want to go there, get the Hombergs. Handle the heat special. You get the wings. Ten hot wings and a Stella for 1979. And a Buck from each special goes to the Arizona Humane Society, which is not bad at all.

[Announcer]

We've had some good.

[John Holmer]

You got good eaters. Some. Really? What, what was your. You went to two in a row? Yeah. Yeah.

[Announcer]

What was your surprise in the one out, Gilbert?

[John Holmer]

This Brady's guy was like 2 pounds. He had 2 pounds of wings?

[Toledo]

Yeah, it was something like.

[Announcer]

Yeah, 2.1 or ours was at like just under 2, like 1 point.

[John Holmer]

Okay, well, whatever.

[Announcer]

I mean, it was. I can't remember the exact numbers.

[John Holmer]

And.

[Announcer]

And surprise. Last year's champion is back in.

[John Holmer]

Oh, he's back in.

[Announcer]

He's back in. So he. He won. Surprise.

[John Holmer]

He won by a hefty margin last year.

[Announcer]

Boy can eat.

[Toledo]

So have some competition this year.

[Announcer]

There's going to be competition for sure.

[John Holmer]

Were they all giants? Get any skinnies in there that surprised you, Joey Chestnut style? No, no.

[Toledo]

I had two.

[Announcer]

Some average, average looking dudes, but like there wasn't any like Joey Chestnut like Larry sized people.

[John Holmer]

Tomorrow you can show up at the native location on i10 and Ray and tell them you want to be in on this thing and I ought to take a few of you and you start pounding those wings. You get pounds and pounds of wings put in front of you. You take them home.

[Toledo]

So is this the last qualifying?

[John Holmer]

This is the finale, my friend. This is the end game. Wow. All done quick. I know. Four weeks, bam. We're all done tomorrow. So if you Want to head out there? We'll get her going about 5:30, but you got to get there a little early if you want to be part of it. We need all the people cheer, and we'll have all sorts of stuff to give you as well. So coming out there, I definitely like watching the. I don't like to waste my time with contestants. I want the champions, the winners from each one to come rolling in.

[Announcer]

You're gonna have some good competition, have.

[John Holmer]

Some strong guys there. Yeah, it would be great to have a qualifier and then do the finale and have the dude have to do it back to back. Man, that would be fantastic. Anyway, speaking of Humane Society and of course, our good friend of the show, Jim Manley, world's nicest guy, doing his little benefit show Saturday over at Cactus Jacks with his band, don't tell Mandy. And he's just doing it because he's a kind person. Who does that? Jim Manley, that's who. The world's nicest man. I realize that as much as I complain about how pussified America has become, I occasionally catch myself in the. That sort of Karen mode. The. Oh, my God, what is this moment that I had on Saturday driving up the 51 when I was behind a pickup truck, an F250. And in the back was some sort of beetle beagle mix, big old flappy ears.

[Toledo]

Unleashed.

[John Holmer]

Unleashed in the back of a pickup truck. Now. Now, I'm from Indiana. That's where dogs go. When I. When I grew up in Pennsylvania, the dog. The dog jumped into the bed of the truck to go. You saw dogs in the back of pickup trucks all over the place. This is the first time I've seen it in years. And I had to stop myself from calling the police. I was. I was in full Karen mode. They have a dog in the back, and even if it is on a leaf, should you hit a bump, it's going to hang itself. I was freaking out. I. I stayed behind it the whole time. Then I just thought, if he comes out, dogs don't fall out of the backs of trucks. I've never met anyone in my life said, well, we're driving along the freeway, and he flew out, hit a big bump. It doesn't happen. And yet I'm so scared of it. And we put a stop to it. Kids used to ride in the backs of pickup trucks as a treat.

[Announcer]

No, we used to.

[John Holmer]

It was a blast. Can we ride in the back? Can we ride in the back? All right, fine. We'll just. We'll just go up and down these speed bump faster. And your dad would dick around and make you bounce like it was fun. We have become. I've become such a baby. I can't even see it. I almost started crying. I was helpless. This poor dog was so happy. And then the dog did something like he.

[Toledo]

Was he doing the back and forth?

[John Holmer]

No. He was standing in the middle of the window. And I'm like, just stay there kid. Just stay there. And I'm. And. And in my mind I'm overreacting. He's staying there because the wind. He can't breathe. If. If he stands in the wrong spot.

[Toledo]

It's.

[John Holmer]

Now it's going to take in all the air. So he's finding the one spot he can. This is horrible. The dog then does the walkover on the freeway. Puts his head around the corner and those ears start flapping. And he was in heaven and I was in hell. I was. I was about to start sobbing.

[Toledo]

Why has it turned in so tough to watch?

[John Holmer]

It's. It's impossible to see. And I realized, oh my God. I got off on sh. And I'm like. I'm the biggest pussy in the world. I couldn't even see it. That dog will be fine. When did it happen that we all. In our brains.

[Toledo]

You're mad at the person?

[John Holmer]

Yes.

[Toledo]

How dare you let a dog.

[John Holmer]

Of course. But I've never once seen even videotape of the dog flying out. Dogs are. I went four wheeling once with a dude in a jeep who didn't have doors or top or anything. The dog rode in the back seat. Were you there that day?

[Toledo]

I feel bad with the horse. Horses in the horse trailer.

[John Holmer]

Horse trailers make me upset in case somebody hits them. But at least they can't fall out. But this dog was like this. This Aussie healer kind of thing.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

And he just. He rode like leveled himself. He had no seat belt or anything. We're off roading and this dog would lean. He'd put his. He'd put his front paw up on the back seat when he'd have the. It was unreal how good he was at like. And then he'd hop out of the jeep when we'd stop for a drink and hang around and he'd hop right back in. And I. I realized the dog is not. Not gonna jump out. It's never happened. But it still needs to be against the law. And I. I hate you for doing that to me. The dog's fine.

[Announcer]

Remember years ago. Oh, Mesa Drive in Southern. There was a truck stop and there's a dog in the back. And he had his leash on. Well, the dog jumped at the stoplight and the dog fell down.

[John Holmer]

No.

[Announcer]

And was hanging from. He still had his back paws on the neck. But the light just turned green. Everybody's just laying on his horn. Some dude jumped out of a car. Lift them up and put them back in the back of the truck. But it could have been like vacation. And I'm not trying to be funny with that.

[John Holmer]

Like literally your story just made me. My pants. Yeah.

[Announcer]

I mean it was.

[John Holmer]

Wow. I hate that story. Yeah. So. Okay. So now it's elite. Now my. My brain makes sense. I've never even seen it. No. I've never seen a dog.

[Toledo]

Horrendous story years ago where the family was camping and the dog was on the bumper of the fifth wheel dealer and forgot about the dog.

[John Holmer]

That is the vacation story. Oh my God. All right, well then. Yeah, well that's different. That's just being jerks.

[Toledo]

Yeah, it's a different.

[John Holmer]

But the back of the pickup thing. I used to never thought it'd be a problem seeing kids in the back of a truck. Wouldn't bother me, I don't think at all. I'd be like, oh, that's the old fashioned. Maybe a little.

[Toledo]

But you just told you don't stand.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Sit down.

[Toledo]

Sit down.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Or your dad would break check if you stood up and smash you into the back window. And you're like, all right, all right. Right, all right, I get it. But it kind of used to be the thing is like if you're so stupid, you fall out of the back of this truck, it's kind of on you. And I feel the same way about the dog, but it. I couldn't see it. I just could not see it. And I'm sure it's happened, but it's probably h. Like people fight. They fall out of cars too. Not even if they're sitting in the back. Sometimes people just shoot out windows if the thing goes haywire.

[Toledo]

We had in high school.

[John Holmer]

Awful.

[Toledo]

Someone out of the pickup bed.

[John Holmer]

Sure. You know, but they were probably drunk or stupid. Yeah. I mean stop.

[Toledo]

They were standing in the back.

[John Holmer]

You're in dumb go out of it. Yeah. Oh, this kid we called double O.C. out of control. His name was Dave. He fell out of a truck on Guadalupe right off by Dobson. Just fell out of the back of a 40 mile an hour truck and rolled to a stop like he was the terminus. Got up, shook his head. Double O.C. was just fine. He was so drunk he didn't. It didn't hurt. But, yeah, drunk is dumb, so it's kind of true. But anyway. So if you're thinking about it and you're loading your dog up in the back of a truck, please stay off the 51. I might be out there, and I will full. Karen. The next person I see doing this, I will call the police. I was so close. If I hadn't gotten off on Shea, another street I definitely would have been on, not 91 1. There had got to be a law against it, right?

[Announcer]

I don't know. I would. There should be if there's not.

[John Holmer]

Because we just stopped. It was a whole society of people that used to do it all the time, and then we just stopped doing it. I can't. I can't take it. It's not for me. It's my heart. Can't do it. Please, for God's sakes, put your kids back there. So no one cares. Your dogs, my God, they don't know any better.

[Toledo]

There's things you can clip in, like seat belts.

[John Holmer]

Pet.

[Toledo]

Seat belts?

[John Holmer]

Sure. I have a seat belt for my dog. Strap him up in the back seat. Absolutely. You never know what's going to hit you. My God, it's terrible. So if you're out there and you're laughing at me right now. I know what you. Next time. If I had to go to Cactus instead of Shea, you would have been done, man. You'd have been. You gotten pulled over for sure. I'd have stayed with you the whole time, too. I went full career.

[Toledo]

And on my way up the flag.

[John Holmer]

Oh, my God. Oh. And it just started swinging at his truck. Horrifying. So please don't do that anymore. And not for the sake of the dog. People like me. I lost my mind. Lost my mind. Put a child in the back of the truck. That's where they belong. The dog needs to be inside, buttoned up. A kid flies out. How many of those? It's one less annoying thing on an air airplane. And then Brady needs a kidney. Dog flies out. Brady can't take that kidney. Put your kids back there. Put your teen kids in the back truck and drive around so Brady lives. Do it for Brady. Let's stop with the dogs. That made me nuts. We got the hot releases coming up in just moments. Let's get to that. It's 98. It's not weird.

[Toledo]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmer]

No membership fee. I have hood. Enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. I am now going through all of the news differently. We'll get to the hot releases in a second, boys. But I just saw another potential kidney for Brady. Here's fun. Here's a fun one. Brett, you're gonna like this. All right. I didn't know that this was a thing, but do you know that there's never been a Vietnamese woman to circle the globe? It's never happened. We can't, we can't fire one down all the races. Evidently there's still, they still have not mastered circumnavigating the globe in Vietnam for the women. Evidently there's a couple of dudes from Vietnam who have done it. Well, an Thu Huynh, 44 year old, she, she took it on. Now you know the rumor about Asian female drivers. She made it to Greenwood, Indiana. It was the second leg of her flight. So I don't know where she started, but it was 650 miles west of Greenwood, Indiana. Then she landed in Greenwood. This is what I don't understand in 2025. And I don't want to see, you know, we know what happens in the end. Let's just say Vietnam's got their own Amelia Earhart. They found her though. She. On the 27th of July, she took off right leg one.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

Lands in Indiana on the 30th of July, she starts leg two. What's with the three day wait? Well, you couldn't have been worn out from that.

[Brady]

You're, you're trying get some shopping in.

[John Holmer]

She's flying. So I think she got lost trying to find the airport. So 1 minute and 30 seconds into leg two, she threw it into the ground. She didn't make. She's trying to get from Indiana to Pennsylvania. So the first Vietnamese woman that tried to make it all the way around, around the world solo flight, made it to a Greenwood, Indiana and probably started in like Denver or something. It wasn't too good.

[Announcer]

I crashed my plane too, going to Indiana.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Well, I don't understand, like if your goal is to go around the world, is it in 80 days because it's at 600 miles a pop and three day breaks in between. It's going to take forever. Well, good thing for her it didn't. It took her, took her three days through the tally. Well, sort of, yeah. It says she was on her second leg of the journey to become the first Vietnamese woman to complete A solo flight around the world when her plane suddenly fell out of the sky. That's not what happened. Her plane crashed on a hill near a small creek behind a Circle K, about a mile from the airport. She was the only person killed in the crash. That's just bad reporting, because if the solo flight. Of course, she's the only person killed in the crash. Crash. They revealed new details, but didn't provide any information on what may have caused the crash. Speculation. Pilot error. We can't speculate too loudly that the Asian woman crashed, but we know what happened.

[Toledo]

Speculation.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, specul speculation was that she didn't quite. Which one? Gas. Which one, Gas? Oh, geez. She's not gonna make it. It. Which one? Gas. Are you serious? Which one? Gas? Anyway, I hate to make fun of it, but it's hilarious.

[Toledo]

Paying attention, taking too many pictures.

[John Holmer]

All right, that's enough.

[Announcer]

Is he wrong, though?

[John Holmer]

No. I've seen a lot of movies about that war, and I know that they were big into tunnels, so maybe she was just digging one. Anyway, it's time, ladies, to knock it off. If you're. I don't care what nation you're from, becoming the first person to go around the globe in a solo flight is no longer impressive. In fact, I looked this up. There's already been a Vietnamese woman in space. Your accomplishment is moot.

[Brady]

How did we miss that?

[John Holmer]

Well, I mean, she didn't do it on purpose. They threw her out there. She was just cleaning the ship, and.

[Toledo]

It took her cleaning the satellite.

[John Holmer]

Oh, I hit wrong button. We go into space. Racist. But, yeah. So that's enough. Is anyone even impressed?

[Announcer]

Nope.

[John Holmer]

I mean, planes will autopilot around the world. I've been to Australia. I've almost gone all the way around the world, and I just sat there the whole time.

[Toledo]

Most time you think, well, it just takes money.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, I guess. But look, the bigger thing about this, and it is tragic, that it, you know, I guess to a certain degree, should have never started this thing. Well, I still don't understand the three day break. You land in Indiana. Like, oh, I need three days. I can't do this twice. Three. You're going around the world. You're going to be in a plane for a while. Get used to it. What's with the weekend? I take a little break, stop my worldwide travel. I make it to Pennsylvania. I can drive to Pennsylvania in less than three days. You're not impressing me at all.

[Announcer]

First Gump ran across the country in less time. This broad took to get to Indiana. I Mean, Jesus, look, there's.

[John Holmer]

You know, I'm done running.

[Toledo]

Not trying to break a time or a record, clearly.

[John Holmer]

Well, it is. No. Was she trying to set the time? She's the only one who's done it. So even this failure is the. As far as I know, the longest anyone's ever been in the air as a Vietnamese woman.

[Toledo]

Did Greta Turnberg take her out?

[John Holmer]

Yeah, Greta shot her down with a nerf gun. What happening? Oh, environmentalists. Those were her last words. Goddamn environmentalists.

[Toledo]

It said, doom goblin.

[John Holmer]

Doom goblin shooting at me. Oh, pirates of bombardier. Pirates of Bombardier. Oh, I have no bombardier. I'm on my own. Anyway, it's been a month or so. There was no fanfare about this going into it.

[Toledo]

Bad pr.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, that was just to. Everything about it is bad. Like, we should. Like this should have been like some sort of of a. I gotta pray now. And then she gets in her plane. Everybody's like, yay, good luck, Vietnamese lady who's never done this. I become first. Okay. I'm not sure I'd get on a plane with you if you were qualified.

[Toledo]

Here's the key to our city now.

[John Holmer]

Good luck. Gosh, this is great. This first time ever, a Vietnamese woman is looking to go. There she goes. All right. Oh. Oh, no, no, no. All right, put the tubas down, everybody. Take down the bunting. She didn't make it. Is there a brave second Vietnamese pilot going? Good. My turn waiting in the wings.

[Brady]

Has to be right.

[John Holmer]

I become first Vietnamese woman. I told her, I don't think we should let that happen. I don't think there's a lot of call for.

[Brady]

What do you mean you don't think you should let that happen?

[John Holmer]

We shouldn't let Vietnamese women fly planes. Clearly, I've heard of one. And she died a minute into flying. No more. We're. We're over all of them.

[Toledo]

I told you this was gonna happen.

[John Holmer]

Any Vietnamese broad get a wild hair and start wanting to go around the world? Let me buy a ticket on United. We'll get you there. You just stay out of the front. I hate to sound all 1960s and stuff, but back of the plane, Quan Lee, we don't want you up by the controls. They say that her last words back to the tower was, what this do? That's not true. I made that up anyway. Well, good luck. And if you're a Vietnamese woman out there, you have goals. You get to Pennsylvania and you've won.

[Brady]

I was gonna say no. You just told them no.

[John Holmer]

No. If you could. Look, that's all you're shooting for. I'm not saying go around the world world. Get from Denver to. To Pittsburgh and the whole. There's going to be parades. You're going to be on Vietnamese money. So good luck to you. And maybe we'll see on one of those HGTV International Home Hunter shows at one point when you finally get back home. I just don't know. Like, she was going to start in like, greenbrier.

[Toledo]

Maybe they turn the plane into the house, you know, because it never gets off the.

[John Holmer]

That could be. Let's just bolt this to something something before she gets another wild idea. Anyway, the hot releases are coming up next. I just want to point that out to all of you. And if we have any men married to Vietnamese women, like, you know what I want to do? Oh, no. Fry her out a world. No. The answer is no. Good luck to you, though. And Vietnam. You're. You're still celebrating stuff we did in the 30s. It's been a hundred years since the last guy did it. And like, it was a big deal deal when Lindbergh knocked that out. You're pretty much. He's made it across the Atlantic and everybody flipped out. It. Was he the first one to go around the Earth?

[Brady]

I believe so.

[John Holmer]

He did it then, too? No, no.

[Brady]

Across the Atlantic. Right.

[John Holmer]

He just crossed the Atlantic.

[Brady]

He didn't go around the world.

[John Holmer]

No, no.

[Announcer]

Just.

[John Holmer]

But that was like eight years after they invented planes.

[Brady]

Yeah, it was early on.

[John Holmer]

Like, they didn't really have.

[Brady]

He didn't have windshield.

[John Holmer]

Yes, he did.

[Brady]

No, I don't think he did.

[John Holmer]

I'm pretty sure he had a windshield.

[Toledo]

No, I don't think he did.

[Announcer]

He's flying by gauges and stuff, right?

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

He didn't have a windshield.

[John Holmer]

I thought it had a bubble. No, it was blind.

[Toledo]

You just had the side. Side window.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Barely that he.

[John Holmer]

Wait. In 1930. Something. This dude made it without, like. Without new vision. Autoglass in front of him. Yes.

[Toledo]

The Spirit of St. Louis.

[John Holmer]

She couldn't get out of Indiana.

[Toledo]

Nope.

[John Holmer]

All right.

[Brady]

She could see the whole way around.

[John Holmer]

She's got to fly the spirit of St. Louis to be. To impress me. Yeah.

[Announcer]

There's no windshield.

[John Holmer]

That's not the Spirit of St. Louis.

[Announcer]

It's not.

[Toledo]

Is.

[John Holmer]

That thing's a piece of crap. Leave it to a man.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Announcer]

He had to hang out the window and flew my gauges.

[John Holmer]

Right. Yeah. I'm gonna take this all the way to Paris. Watch me. I don't even have a top. Watch this. Watch my baby by the way, I'll be back in a couple of days. Limberg joke. Still timely. Yeah. Here's.

[Announcer]

Here's the cockpit.

[John Holmer]

I should get more credit for that. That was a very funny joke. People know history, baby. She crashed a modern plane, right? And he flew that to Paris. Yeah. They named an airport after me. Will they do that for her? I doubt it. Dozed off a couple of times, according to the movie. I think that was just for hype, John.

[Brady]

So you're telling me.

[John Holmer]

Kind of sleepy. I think I'll just drop out.

[Brady]

You're telling me she made it all the way in the end and forgot to gas up?

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Maybe that was.

[Toledo]

Yeah, I go.

[John Holmer]

We are not go. Bye. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Nuts. You guys. You guys.

[Toledo]

On the other side of earth, it was the hose. All the gas tank that drug down the plane.

[John Holmer]

Too much weight. Anyway, even if she'd have made it, what's the end result? I first Vietnamese woman to make it around the world in a solo plane. So what? 4,200 flights an hour going on. What are you talking about? That's easy. I think you give me a couple weeks at flight school. Jesus. Al Qaeda made it through. Embry riddle. I'm not impressed by this at all. Makes me wonder if Pearl harbor was just an accident. We're trying to rant. We can't see how we can do it. Good. Anyway, I digress. Fun stories happened while we were gone. The hot releases will quickly happen after this.

[Toledo]

Is that weird? It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmer]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this Morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. It's time now for the hot releases. That's all. The new movies, music, tv, whatever you got. Games, I guess. It's brought to you by our [e-mail]. if you got an AC unit that's on its last legs, boy, you got a month left of this. Everybody feels like, okay, Labor Day, it's October. We all know the drill. Last you start hearing your air conditioner spit out air October, you're still going to be running it here and there. But all through September, even though it's favorable, still going to need it. So let's get through it. Make sure you do it right. And if you've got one that's kind of barely made it through the summer, think about next year. Get ahead of the game. You can do it the best way possible. Follow the three easy steps [e-mail] next thing you know, you got a professionally installed air conditioning unit that, by the way, has a 100% guarantee. Nobody else does that. And they make sure all your warranties stay in place by doing it the right way and a lot cheaper than everybody else. Say thousand. Save time. Buy online new ac unit.com who goes first? Whoever you want. Toledo. I'll let you go.

[Brady]

Believe this is out tomorrow. Wednesday Season 2, Part 2 on Netflix.

[John Holmer]

Second half of season two a few.

[Brady]

Weeks ago, we debuted the start of season two. Now the second half of season two where desperate to avert her prophecy and save Enid's life, Wednesday reopens a dark chapter in her family's history with direct ties to Tyler. So if you're aware of the film or the the movie series. Yeah, the show, then that's how it's playing out.

[John Holmer]

I'm shocked Jenna Ortega hasn't started some sort of hot girl weirdo dark gothic new spirit guide.

[Brady]

It's not like it's not out there.

[John Holmer]

But yeah, I thought it would be huge. Yeah, I thought it would become normal.

[Brady]

Might have been too much of a gap between season one and season.

[John Holmer]

That could be. He has plans to kill both of us. I'm going to fix it because for some reason this is something that you'd think. She's got a point. It would become like a Now what? Maybe it'll be strong for Halloween. Oh, yeah, but I'm talking about like just girls wandering around on Tick Tock with that hair and being all dark. Like hot ones. Not weird.

[Brady]

Fred Armisen is Uncle Fester.

[John Holmer]

We don't solve anything in this family with words. We do it with deeds. All right, that's fine. I get it.

[Announcer]

What's some new ideas?

[John Holmer]

Well, this thing evidently is kind of a new twist, but it is the atoms.

[Brady]

Yeah, funny you mentioned new ideas because the offshoot of the Office is finally here. The paper.

[John Holmer]

And it's just Oscar. It's one guy from the Office. They tried to tie it. Everything needs and it's like the least interesting person in the office.

[Toledo]

Toilet tissue, toilet seat protectors, and local newspapers. And that is in order of quality.

[John Holmer]

Are they in England? I don't know. They're in Toledo. Here is one of my articles. I already hate it. And yes, I hate it because it's too diverse on purpose. I feel like I'm being punched in the face with a DEI program.

[Brady]

This one seemed to come out of nowhere. The Runarounds on Prime Video. It's like some kind of high school punk band or something like that. The Runarounds from the creator of the Outer Banks follows a group of recent high school graduates who form a band in the hopes of escaping the mundane futures that are laid out before them.

[John Holmer]

So seriously, all the time I'm not going to college. This band is do or Die. It's Josie.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmer]

I wish I went to more parties.

[Brady]

That's a dude band. So you can drop the cats.

[John Holmer]

Is there a girl memory?

[Toledo]

We got a really cool bond going on.

[John Holmer]

So it's dudes in a band and the chicks they banged through high school.

[Toledo]

Yeah, apparently.

[John Holmer]

Don't you want to see it through?

[Brady]

And of course, it's all dudes that are college age.

[John Holmer]

Look at them. They're not going to do anything with their lives. All right.

[Brady]

Come back around.

[John Holmer]

We need somebody to murder. Brady's right?

[Announcer]

I hope so.

[John Holmer]

Brady saw teenagers. He's just wishing for one of them to die. And get those kidneys.

[Toledo]

Spike kicking in.

[Brady]

Spike Lee's latest joint debuts this week on Apple TV and in theaters highest to lowest. Denzel's fifth Spike Lee film, I think.

[John Holmer]

Oh. Direct to streaming.

[Brady]

It's on Apple and it's in theaters.

[John Holmer]

I'm backstacking his records.

[Toledo]

It's a lot of money.

[John Holmer]

There's more to life than just making money. It's integrity. That's what you stand for. What you think? I think you got to be a little crazy sometimes in this world to get what you want. That might be great. King David. Now ain't this something? I got your full attention now, huh? You finally listening to me?

[Brady]

I think it's asap. Rocky playing the bad guy.

[John Holmer]

This might be interesting. He's been Denzel gets my attention no matter what. Oh yeah.

[Brady]

Friendship. Starring Paul Rudd and Tim. What's his name? Robinson.

[John Holmer]

Robinson. Hello. This dude is. Did you like this, Larry? Good. Oh, it's weird. Honey. Paul Rudd's got my attention. For a drink at 8 tonight. I said you'd go. You don't know my scandal. You sit there every night. Might be nice to have a pal. What's that girl? That's that Mara girl.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

No, it's the other one. It's Kate. Yeah, he's the best. What's her head shaved? I was a spiraling them and I.

[Brady]

See the way the guys look at her.

[John Holmer]

I'm just. This is interesting. What's this called? Friendship.

[Brady]

Called Friendship.

[John Holmer]

You liked it? Larry McFeely saw it. I Liked it.

[Announcer]

It was like a couple hours of.

[John Holmer]

Just watching him be weird. Which one? Tim Robinson Johnson. No kidding. Which is what he is. Yeah. Dude's a strange man. All right.

[Brady]

Ruby and Jody, the cult of sin and influence is out on Discovery id. It's about Ruby Frankie and the weirdness that she had going crazy kids in Utah.

[John Holmer]

If you don't know that story, Ruby Janky's story is unreal. It is unreal. Ruby Frankie was one of the early Mormon mom influencers. It's what you think is wholesome content. So didn't they do it? They did the big documentary.

[Brady]

Big documentary?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

This one's out on Discovery id.

[Announcer]

What the hell?

[Toledo]

And then the older lady that has the money.

[John Holmer]

Churches. This is probably who. This is more about the lunatic that tried to help her through the trainer. Okay. Ruby and Jody, cult of sin and influence. I don't know if I want to sit through that again, because I felt horrible when I saw that little emaciated kid escape to the neighbor's house. I'm like, I don't know. This is.

[Brady]

Last one I have is a new crime drama on hbo. It's called Task and Mercy.

[John Holmer]

Well, it's not your loss. Who's that?

[Brady]

Mark Ruffalo.

[John Holmer]

There's been a spade of home invasions. They weren't putting together a task force now. Not a great no. I don't have any choice. Wait, Martha Plimpton is 70 now? When did that happen? Oh, my God. She's ancient. All right. I don't want to watch that. It made me feel old. Wasn't she in Goonies? Yeah. Oh, my God. Like a kid.

[Announcer]

She's the other kid.

[John Holmer]

Is she the same age as us? Yes, I think so. Maybe a little bit older. Even Brady, who just had part of his body sucked out, looks better than Martha Plimpton. My God. Goodness. Just how old? Ratio. How old is Martha Plimpton? 57, 54.

[Toledo]

Oh, she's younger. 74.

[John Holmer]

No. Take a shot. Okay. She's a year older than me. That's my.

[Toledo]

Josh Broland's older. I think. I think he's, like, 60.

[John Holmer]

Okay.

[Announcer]

He looks better, too.

[John Holmer]

He looks great. There goes Brett's theory, that wine milk thing. All right, Brett, what do you.

[Announcer]

She's expired by.

[John Holmer]

Oh, by ages. Brolin's in his prime.

[Announcer]

All right, start off with new rock from Glenn Hughes, bass player extraordinaire. Played with Deep Purple, Black Sabbath.

[John Holmer]

Everybody knows him. Does he sing in. Yeah, Boom. He's in this.

[Toledo]

David Lee Roth. Can you help?

[John Holmer]

Let me tell you this There's a reason why you're 60 and you're still putting out albums. Singing for the reason Deep Purple said, why don't you just play the bass and shut up. Get to it. Does this have an awesome bass solo?

[Announcer]

I didn't get that far.

[John Holmer]

Well, no. The answer is no, because there is no such thing.

[Announcer]

All right, so there's that. David Byrne putting out a solo track. This is. Everybody Laughs.

[John Holmer]

He looks like Martha Plinton now.

[Toledo]

Looks better.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, he does. I bang. I'd bang David first. He's been doing that Broadway show for a while. His songs. Everybody laughs and everybody cries. Everybody lives and everybody. It's called Everybody Poops. Everybody knows what everybody does Everybody going through the changes Whoa.

[Brady]

Menopause.

[John Holmer]

It's a menopause song for everybody. Even men. David must be going through some hot flashes.

[Announcer]

All right, here's new stuff from Testament.

[John Holmer]

Here we go. Kind of know what you're expecting with Test John Gordon Erections. This isn't the beginning of the song. Yeah, it is. It just started in the middle. Well, I skipped a. Oh, first.

[Brady]

You didn't skip a bunch.

[John Holmer]

No. Here we go. They're getting there. There's Testament for you, feeling.

[Brady]

Testament fans are gonna love that.

[John Holmer]

Oh, yeah. Veteran country.

[Announcer]

How about Scorpions?

[John Holmer]

Oh, no.

[Announcer]

Mind Like a Tree.

[Brady]

Oh, God, Is that concert film that's going around about them real? Like their last performance? He looks ancient.

[John Holmer]

Oh, he is ancient.

[Brady]

But I mean, like, he looks. My mom looked better.

[John Holmer]

All right, fair enough. Yeah, he can say it, folks. The gates have opened. Oh, yeah. So your. Your mother's corpse.

[Toledo]

Yes.

[John Holmer]

Much more attractive than Clous Mina. Wow. You'd rather see her on tour? Yes. Would Raleigh put Clouse out of his.

[Toledo]

Misery five years ago?

[John Holmer]

Those of you just tuning in, Toledo's stepdad said he wanted to kill his mother years ago to put her out of her misery, because that's how it works in Montana.

[Announcer]

Here's a new track. It just got released four days ago. This video, Storm the Gates from Soul Fly.

[John Holmer]

Okay. I'm doing Everybody still in the. I think Max is.

[Announcer]

I don't know if his brother's still in there or not.

[John Holmer]

I don't. It is what it is. Yeah. All right.

[Announcer]

As long as Max is there.

[John Holmer]

Sure.

[Announcer]

I got some stuff I could save for next week, but there's some other stuff here, so let's do our AI song.

[John Holmer]

Oh, this is.

[Announcer]

Lick It Till I'm Done.

[John Holmer]

All right.

[Announcer]

From Moonbeam Muffin.

[John Holmer]

Very hot girl called. She Looks like what I was talking about with Wednesday Adams. Oh, yeah, here we go. Lick it till down real slow Put those lips where the warm winds blow they do Hum me like a tune on your tongue I'll be singing sweet Til my craving's gone Lick it, lick it till I'm done this is hot breath like honey dripping in morning sun. Hey, I wrote this.

[Toledo]

Yeah, you got a book here for Country Thunder.

[Announcer]

It's from Moist Records.

[John Holmer]

I might lick my computer slow, wet and fun Lick my baby all right.

[Announcer]

And then right before we get into N Word or F Word, this one came up. This is Back in Black as a Soul version.

[John Holmer]

I've heard this. This has been phenomenal. I loved it. This is so good. I just want Stevie to sing it. This would have been a smash hit. So good. Yeah. Bruno Mars and the Boys. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah.

[Announcer]

Silk Sonic can do this.

[John Holmer]

Silk Sonic would. Was this AI? I believe so. Yeah. It's on.

[Announcer]

Fake music is what it's called.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. There you go. Okay, that's great. I really like that.

[Announcer]

So, all right, so that brings us to the game. To sweep in the nation. N word or F Word?

[John Holmer]

I believe I was the champion going in.

[Announcer]

This is King T. Act a fool.

[John Holmer]

Never heard of King t, man.

[Announcer]

Early 90s act.

[John Holmer]

Oh, okay. Early 90s, late 80s, early 90s, late.

[Announcer]

80S, late 80s, early-90s, pre NWA way.

[Brady]

Same time, right?

[Announcer]

About the same time, maybe a little bit, but not. Not much around the same time as ice tea and everything else.

[John Holmer]

Boy, that was really a strong time for the nword in songs. I'll say. I'm gonna stick with my original thought. Angry F word. All right, Brady.

[Toledo]

Angry N word.

[John Holmer]

Okay, man.

[Brady]

Damn it. All right.

[Toledo]

Get the colloquial.

[Brady]

Friendly N word.

[John Holmer]

Friendly one. Okay, now I'm off the move. Got a grand in my pocket Reach for my phone Plugged it in the socket Hollow dial tone so I dialed up Aladdin he answered the phone and said, what's up? I said, what's up? I said, what's up? What are you saying?

[Toledo]

I've been trying to get in touch. The party's in Once I said I don't give a.

[John Holmer]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Late 80s Houdini. And then they started wanting to get a little me wiener. He had the two Life crew. Yeah, it didn't get crazy till tea and Cube and all the boys got going. Hey, it's not weird.

[Toledo]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmer]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. All right. There it is. All right. Let's just get the heck out of here. We'll do the entertainment drill and leave at this point. Nice job. There's some good stuff on there. That Paul Rudd show. Look. Yeah.

[Brady]

Friendship.

[John Holmer]

And I watched Friends and Neighbors with Jon Hamm. Man, oh, man, this audience.

[Brady]

Did you like that?

[John Holmer]

I loved it. It was so relatable to the. Like, the human experience. Being fake.

[Brady]

Oh, that for sure.

[John Holmer]

Like, that whole thing is just like. You just keep faking it. Like it's the imposter complex on steroids. I. I thought it was great. It got a little shaky at the end, but I. Yeah, I saw the salad. No, everything's good. Are you okay? Yeah. Oxy's eating you up.

[Announcer]

Better get to it, man.

[John Holmer]

This is gonna last. You say salad. I heard salad.

[Announcer]

Yeah, this isn't gonna last.

[John Holmer]

You are on drugs. Yeah, but that's not you.

[Brady]

Hold on. Jen Gardner just sent a picture of the wings that are downstairs.

[John Holmer]

Oh, we gotta get you out of here.

[Toledo]

He's got the. No threat. No threat.

[Announcer]

Them out the back door.

[John Holmer]

We got. Now he's going to be.

[Brady]

Is Ronnie on her way now?

[John Holmer]

The ride.

[Brady]

Almost.

[Toledo]

Here she is.

[John Holmer]

You don't look good either.

[Toledo]

I'll go take a little nap, man.

[John Holmer]

Wow. That's it. Show done.

[Announcer]

We're done.

[John Holmer]

Thank you. It's time. Time for the under.

[Toledo]

Tell you this.

[John Holmer]

Oxy. Hey, man, I told you not to take all the oxy, man. Come back home, man. I can't take it.

[Brady]

Are you gonna make him stretch?

[John Holmer]

Kirby's gonna. Yeah, I'm. I'm staying as long as he stays awake, and it's not much longer. Man, what are you doing, man? The red caps are mine.

[Brady]

With his belly.

[Toledo]

You're killing me, Smoltz.

[John Holmer]

Oh, that walrus is funny.

[Brady]

He's just blurted out salad.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, salad. What's going on? I must be high. All right, it's time for the entertainment drill. And this should be okay. Are you sure? Brought to you by Tactical Blonde.

[Toledo]

Face.

[John Holmer]

What? You got a dart in your neck, man. Reactdefense.com is the home of tactical black. And you can defend yourself, unless you're Brady, which right now, you should not even be thinking about defending yourself. Just get in the back of the ambulance and go home. However, can't we all get along? No, we can't, Brady. It's been a proven fact that we can't get along. And that's proof that you need to maybe think about taking care of yourself. Get involved in their classes. Get in great shape while you do it. Become smarter. Become stronger. I mean, what about. What am I saying that is bad? Smarter. Stronger. Faster, better, healthier. Tell me why you're not doing this after all that. It's great. And the price is amazing, too. 199 bucks for two months of training. You're not getting that anywhere else. For personal training. Ridiculous. Become a better version of you. A sheepdog, not a sheep. It is reactdefense.com the home of tactical Black Brady entertainer.

[Announcer]

It's got to be that.

[Toledo]

Ethan Hawke says that falling in love on a movie set, like he and Uma Thurman did when they filmed the movie Gattaca, isn't the best idea. He compared it to, like, falling in love at summer camp. Camp doesn't have any connection to the dailiness of real life.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, well, that's what being a movie star is, isn't it? Isn't that part of being in the world of make believe that sometimes it bleeds over into your real life and you're like, oh, Mom, I'm believing the script. And, um. And I have chemistry.

[Toledo]

Got another list of jobs that rock stars had before they were famous.

[John Holmer]

Okay.

[Toledo]

Ozzy had a brief stint in a slaughterhouse.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Chris Cornell was a fish handler for a seafood company.

[John Holmer]

Seattle. Very Seattle.

[Toledo]

Kurt Cobain, janitor.

[John Holmer]

That does not surprise me. That's what he would have been had he not found music. That was all he was qualified to do.

[Toledo]

Axl Rose, professional manager at Tower Records.

[John Holmer]

Professional. These guys were always Corey Taylor. He probably had a regular gig.

[Toledo]

Sales associate at a porn shop.

[John Holmer]

Oh, you see that one coming. Account executive. They call it.

[Toledo]

Love. Which section?

[John Holmer]

Well, was it a job? Being a stripper? Yeah. Prostitute. Stripper. Same thing.

[Toledo]

Rob Zombie. Zombie. Production assistant on the set of Peewee's Playhouse.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. We knew that.

[John Holmer]

I didn't know that. I remember.

[Brady]

I think he's had that one before.

[John Holmer]

No kidding.

[Toledo]

Fred Durst, tattoo artist.

[Brady]

I didn't know that.

[John Holmer]

Didn't he do Stevo's one of Steve O's?

[Toledo]

That was Post Malone.

[John Holmer]

Oh, that's right. Okay, wait a minute.

[Toledo]

But he might have.

[Brady]

Post Malone did.

[Toledo]

Did the. The penis on Steve.

[John Holmer]

Steve's face.

[Brady]

Oh, but Fred Durst didn't do a tattoo.

[John Holmer]

I don't think so. Okay. I kind of remember them doing something.

[Toledo]

I remember he might have because he had a lot of people putting tattoos on his body.

[John Holmer]

That's True.

[Toledo]

MTV will play music video again 24 7.

[John Holmer]

He is flying.

[Brady]

Do you see the text? You gotta end this, man.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

All right. We'll end it with this.

[John Holmer]

Ronnie is like, I'm on my way to get him. Now she's hearing it, too.

[Brady]

There was an emergency, you know, beacon.

[Toledo]

That she could fly.

[Brady]

It'd be on its way.

[Toledo]

A dude got kicked out of the corn concert at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey last Wednesday for buttering his cob. He was whacking off.

[John Holmer]

What? Buttering his cob.

[Toledo]

It's lunchtime, man.

[John Holmer]

You saved. Is that. Is that in the story?

[Toledo]

It is.

[John Holmer]

Okay. Thank God. God. Wow. Buttering is.

[Toledo]

And I want to make sure I hit that.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, you knocked it out of the park. Thanks. Sh.

[Announcer]

You really killed that one.

[Toledo]

You guys are cool.

[John Holmer]

He's kind of. The funny thing is, you may not hear a difference between, you know, stuttering Brady and stroke, but seeing him kind of float around while he's reading, he looks happy. Anyway.

[Toledo]

Good times, man.

[John Holmer]

Good times. Good, good. Fun having you. All right. Let's get you out of here. Get a little nervous about this. A little? That. That kidney is barely functioning as it is. And now he's high, too. We gotta lay him down. And there's chicken wings coming in. How he goes.

[Toledo]

Hot fudge.

[John Holmer]

We'll get you down to 180. 185. I need to do it by Christmas.

[Brady]

I'm gonna do an AI version of you at 160.

[John Holmer]

160.

[Announcer]

Angry and mad.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Auschwitz Bogan is gonna be. I can't know. I can't even. That's a picture. Just get him some striped pajamas because it's the only way I'll see him. It's 10:10. We're done. You guys have yourselves a glorious Tuesday. We'll see you tomorrow in the morning. Sickness solo.

[Toledo]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmer]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.