09-04-25 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Episode Summary

Episode: 09-04-25 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY (September 5, 2025)
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dale Hellestrae (guest), Dick Toledo (absent, discussed)
Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 98 KUPD, Arizona

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Overview

This episode is classic "Holmberg’s Morning Sickness": an irreverent, freewheeling, and highly comedic take on daily national news, pop culture, true crime obsession, football season, American hypocrisy, and personal anecdotes—with a local Arizona flavor. The show balances football fanaticism, true crime media, neighborly paranoia, wings-eating competitions, kidney ransoms, and conspiracy theories, all delivered with sharp banter and plenty of inside jokes.
Special guest Dale Hellestrae, former NFL player and current Arizona radio personality, joins the crew for the football segment.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. NFL Season Kickoff and Football Obsession

• [04:08] John declares the real start of the year: football is back.

  "Goodbye, ladies. Goodbye, wives. Goodbye, Friends. Goodbye, normal society... Football's back."

• Entire crew discusses how the NFL’s return hijacks their lives and relationships.
• Light-hearted jabs at couples with reversed sports interest:

  “You’re married, you got a beard, how come nobody told you [your husband is gay]?”

• Anecdotes about “Lottery Dream House” and identifying obviously closeted house hunters, segueing into male affection and shifting social norms around male hugs.

2. Reality TV, Escapism, & Gender Roles

• [05:08] Ongoing riff on “International House Hunters” and “Lottery Dream House”:
  • Dissecting house-buying habits of lottery winners.
  • Humor about men being too excited about meeting host David Bromstad.
  • "Every time I watch, I’m like, how come nobody tells her her husband’s gay?" (Holmberg)
• Jokes about displays of male affection, generational changes, and hetero-normative discomfort.

3. True Crime Fascination & Local Murder Paranoia

• [13:12] Ongoing obsession with murder media:
  • John describes neighbors being suspicious of his odd hours and suggests it’d be “honorable” if people suspected him of the neighborhood's murder.
  • Reflections on America’s morbid fascination with murder:

    “Nobody ever starts a tour of places where people didn’t get murdered.”
    “The best movies ever made are all about murders.”

• [21:01] Discussion of the show "Man in a Van"—using real van as murder van, mocking the religious impulse to give “second chances” to serial offenders.

  “That’s one thing, I don’t care how much you believe Jesus can help... You gave him a van?!”

4. American Hypocrisy: Gluttony & Charity

• [28:54] Wing-eating contest stories:
  • John participates for the Humane Society, reflects on how disgusting competitive eating is.
• [33:54] Passes “Feed My Starving Children” charity en route to all-you-can-eat wings event.
• Large segment on America’s abundance versus global hunger, mocking U.S. hypocrisy:

  “America is just loaded. And I mean loaded with hypocrisy.”
  “No other country has Feed the Americans!”

• Thought experiment: combining food-eating contests and charity for hungry children—both sincere and satirical.

5. Who Starves in America?

• [40:12] John argues “starving in America, it’s your fault,” suggests most true starvation is due to family/friends using funds for drugs.
• Lighthearted but pointed attacks on Sally Struthers:

  “Sally Struthers went over there, a little plump, telling everybody, you know, they’re not eating, but... she wasn’t missing any meals.”

6. Charity Pay Scandals & College Sports Graft

• [45:24] Switches to expose of charity CEO salaries (e.g., $330K for Feed My Starving Children, $1.7M for another Holocaust-related charity), Susan G. Komen, etc.
• [46:14] Rant on commercials begging to "save college sports" despite enormous revenues and athlete payments.

  “Ohio State paying their football team $30 million a year. You save college sports!”

7. Epstein Files & Institutional Secrecy

• [57:54] The hosts dissect the newly released “33,000 pages” from the Epstein files:
  • Jokes about who is redacting all the files.
  • Pointed:

    “Get to the dude in the room with the files. He’s tired of it. His job’s too hard. He’s ready to talk.”

  • [61:00] Discussion on what it would be like to be the actual redactor, E.g. “Redaction Jackson.”
  • [64:36] Conspiratorial speculation on government secrecy, threat of death/ruin for leaks, and the mechanics of hiding vast scandals.
  • [76:52] Ghislaine Maxwell nude photos’ trivialization of actual horror:

    “I’m not there for the articles… show me the pictures.”

8. Global Political Conspiracies

• [78:26] Riffing with stories of sovereign citizen/black ops contacts, Hollywood as predictive programming for real-world events, and the "Manchurian Candidate" theory.
• Minor tangent into Marvel movies, quantum physics, and conspiracy comfort.

9. Audience Kidney Ransom Offer

• [137:17] A bizarre email from “Henry” offering Brady a “non-rejectable” kidney if he buys Henry a 2026 Chevy Silverado, $25K, and 5% of his business.
  • Hosts ridicule the “hostage note” nature of the offer and debating more reasonable takes on donor expectations.

10. Calls, Messages, and Other Interactive Moments

• [125:25] Emailer wants to know which behavior Brady would be more ashamed of: being watched by an invisible friend while masturbating, or sleeping with a prostitute.
  • Opens into earnest reflection on “sin” and compromise.

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Notable Quotes & Moments by Timestamp

• Football Returns
  "Goodbye, ladies. Goodbye, wives. Goodbye... Goodbye, normal television viewing. Goodbye, Netflix... Hello, NFL Network. Hello, scrolling through every stat in the world. Football’s back." – John Holmberg [04:08]

• Murder & Media Fascination
  “All we do is watch murder shows. All we do is listen to murder podcasts. People are fascinated by murders. The best movies ever made are all about murders.” —John Holmberg [13:08]

• On American Hypocrisy
  “America is just loaded… with hypocrisy. Giant pigs going back and forth to wing-eating contests and hot dog-eating contests. Meanwhile, we don’t even notice that we passed a charity for all those hungry people in the world… we’re just crushing wings…” – John, [35:32]

• Feed My Starving Children vs. U.S. Gluttony
  “No other country has ‘Feed the Americans.’ No place in the world will you go and your Waymo takes you down a road of a store that says 'Feed the Americans.'” – John [36:52]

• Competitive Eating Solution
  “We take all of these contests we have of gluttony and overeating and we just get like 10 starving Africans to stand there with Joey Chestnut and crush…Now that’s a show.” — John [37:35]

• On Charity CEO Pay
  “You start looking, you’re like…a lot of those charities, the… you know…and they’re good work. But then you start looking, you’re like, ah…” —John, [46:05]

• Epstein File Redactors
  “Get to the dude in the room with the files. He’s tired of it. His job’s too hard. He’s ready to talk.” —John, [59:37]

• Epstein File Comedy
  “If you want to give your kidney to Brady out of the kindness of your heart, you can’t nail him for an $80,000 truck, $25 grand in cash, and 5% of what Brady makes.” – John [140:52]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:17] Morning roll call; Dick Toledo absence explained.
• [04:08] Football season returns; societal football obsession.
• [05:08] Lottery Dream House, reality TV commentary.
• [13:12] Local murder, fascination with true crime, American murder obsession.
• [21:01] Church van murder/true crime shows.
• [28:54] Holmberg relates a wings-eating contest; proceeds go to Humane Society.
• [33:54] "Feed My Starving Children" and American hypocrisy.
• [40:12] Argument: “If you’re starving in America, that’s your fault.”
• [45:24] Exposé on charity CEO pay.
• [46:14] College sports graft satire.
• [57:54] Epstein Files: The mechanics of government-level redaction and secrecy.
• [76:52] Jizzy Maxwell: Nude photos in files as click-bait distraction.
• [78:26] Conspiracy/black ops rants, fiction foreshadowing real events.
• [125:25] Audience question: which shame is greater, masturbation or prostitution?
• [137:17] & [140:52] Kidneys held hostage: Audience member’s ransom offer to Brady.

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Segment: Football Deep Dive with Dale Hellestrae

• [150:57] – [177:04] Special football preview
  • Dale returns, reflects on his time with the Cowboys.
  • AFC/NFC breakdowns, Super Bowl picks.
  • Riffs on alumni appreciation (Cowboys vs. Ravens) and franchise loyalty.
  • All hosts pick Buffalo for the Super Bowl, acknowledging this might be the year for the Bills or… not at all.

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Segment: Brady’s Barcelona Brothel Story

• [101:05] Brady shares his story of backing out with a prostitute in Barcelona.
  • Details uncomfortable atmosphere, his guilt, and social pressures.
  • Refrains from the act, pays for the hour, hangs out at the brothel’s bar.
  • “I was peer pressured to pick.”
  • This anecdote is repeatedly referenced as a “good story, sad, but a story.” (e.g. [107:19])

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Segment: Absurd News & “Fun” Facts

• Macadamia Nut Day noted.
• U.S. vs The Netherlands government-assigned sex for the disabled:

  “That’s more than married guys get.” (Holmberg, [97:22])

• Reaction to medical oddities, President Garfield being fed through his ass, and other bizarre medieval health tips.

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Tone and Style

• Language: Direct, coarse, fast-paced, and heavy on local slang, inside jokes, and “guy humor.”
• Tone: Satirical, darkly comic, self-deprecating, with long-running gags built into serious analysis.
• Energy: High-octane, with no topic off-limits but always skewed for maximum comedic effect.

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For New Listeners

This episode offers:

• Classic “HMS” interplay: quick-witted banter between John and the team, spinning from football to true crime to neighborhood weirdos like a comic tornado.
• Real discussion about football, sports journalism, and American culture, but always leavened with self-aware humor and skepticism.
• Skewering of American hypocrisy around food, charity, and the allure of sensational crime media.
• Recurring bits: lottery winner house-hunters, “Feed My Starving Children,” local murder suspicion, and kidney transplant negotiations-turned-blackmail.
• A parade of quotable moments and rants that lampoon both pop culture and the news of the day.

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Listen For:

• [04:08] – John’s epic “Goodbye … Hello football” monologue.
• [13:08] – Murder fascination and the American psyche.
• [28:54] – John’s wing-eating contest and thoughts on U.S. gluttony.
• [37:35] – Brilliant/absurd idea: Combine eating competitions and charity for kids.
• [57:54] – Deep dive on “who does the redactions” for the Epstein files.
• [140:52] – Kidney ransom letter and hilarious breakdown.
• [150:57–177:04] – Football preview with NFL vet Dale Hellestrae.

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A must-listen for local sports fans, lovers of dark comedy, and anyone who wants a sharp, irreverent take on the American condition—with enough bizarre true stories, pop culture rants, and neighborhood weirdness to keep you laughing (or wincing) all morning long.

Transcript

[Brett]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Byron]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday. It is 5:45. This is the morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. Toledo's gone again. He's got to go back to his mother's service. So Paula Proc is happy. The Toledo hater once again, for all the wrong reasons. Because that was just. She's just mean, but she's just happy Toledo's not here and he had to go back. She said she doesn't care for what reason so long as he's not here. Horrible. But still, what are you gonna do? And that's fine by me. It's. Toledo's gotta go do his thing. I'm just excited because. Yeah, who cares what's going on with Toledo or anyone else?

[Dale Hellstrait]

It's happening.

[John Holmberg]

It starts tonight. Goodbye ladies. Goodbye wives. Goodbye Friends. Goodbye, normal society. Goodbye, normal television viewing. Goodbye, Netflix. Goodbye, Amazon Prime. Hello, NFL Network. Hello, scrolling through every single stat in the world. Football's back. Hello, water cooler on Monday mornings. Monday, we got Thursday, we got Friday, we got Saturday, we got Sunday, we got Monday, then we got Tuesday. Wednesday off. We start all over next week. I hope you kissed your wives goodbye. And to those weird wives that think they're into it as much as we are, okay, I hope you kissed your husband's goodbye. What are you doing with that guy? It is always weird when you see a wife that's into football and the husband's like, I just. It's sportsball. Doesn't interest me. I'm like, you're married. You got a beard. How come nobody told you? Those are always weird relationships when we all know your husband's gay and you don't. I can see it on TV every time I watch. If you. And this is a little bit gay to admit, too, but I watch a lot of that International House Hunter stuff.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Sort of a lottery. It is a little gay. It's sort of a lottery dreamscape your brain gets into when you're like, what would I do if I was just gonna leave? Like, it's an escapism. And you're like, oh, is Costa Rica someplace I'm interested in?

[Brady]

You're seeing places that. What would it be like here? I'm in Amsterdam.

[John Holmberg]

1250, like $1200. Like, what? It's like a 7,000 square foot house on the beach. Yeah, it's $12. I'm like, oh, my God. How close is the cartel to that? And so you watch that. But every time I watch, I'm like, how come nobody tells her her husband's gay? Like, there's like a hundred episodes where she doesn't know her husband's a homosexual. Like, this is obvious. The lottery dream house. Some of those dudes are way too excited to meet David Bromstead. Way too excited.

[Brady]

There's a lot of hags, too.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there's a lot of lesbians and there's a ton of hags. That makes sense to me. Hags love something that rhymes with that.

[Brady]

And that's fun to see that because. And the husband is the opposite way. He's going along for the ride.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I like when. Well, I don't think a husband gets on that show if he's against what David stands for. David is outwardly like, he even asked one couple the other night. I get mad on the lottery Dream show, when he comes in, he goes all right, you've won $7.7 million. How much you giving me to spend? 300,000. I'm like, why would I watch this? This is an average price of. I can watch anybody buy a $300,000 house.

[Brady]

What?

[John Holmberg]

We want to be really conservative. Okay. I admire that. And he said, we're showing them a three bedroom, two bath, 1800 square foot. Like, that's everyone's house. This is not fantasy at all. This is dumb.

[Brady]

They've gotten a little smarter because some of the ones that won a chunk of money, they come back and buy a second house.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they get second houses. Yeah. But I always watch that. And then sometimes the husband's like, oh, my God, so mean. David. It's so nice to me. I'm like, that husband's too excited to meet David. Somebody's got to tell that wife, let's go eat. Who wants coffee? After each house you have to go stop and get a coffee. But he told one couple the other day who was watching, and he goes, I forget what city it was he was in. Oh, Charlotte. He's like, I love Charlotte. And he said, these houses are spectacular. He goes, where's the gay section? And the real estate agent meets with him again. She goes, that's the south side. Like, the lady was, like, surprised. He asked, that's the south side. I'm gonna find a place in the south side. I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ. A matter of time before this guy's just on all fours on one of these episodes. And I don't think he'd be. I don't think he'd care about it. But he. Yeah, he. Like. I watched him show two older twinks a house in Palm Springs. And that show got really, like, it started getting tense. Like, I think they're gonna pile. I think we're about to have a lemon party on the old Lottery. Yeah. These dudes had crushes on David. And he shows up dressed in like a blanket and pink shirt, green shorts, knee high boots. And I'm like, man, nobody tells this guy anything about, like, tone it down.

[Brady]

He loves the. When they go over to Europe to buy a house. I saw one of those.

[John Holmberg]

He's taking them to Europe.

[Brady]

One of the most. I think that's a newer episode of the Lottery.

[John Holmberg]

Dream house.

[Brady]

Yeah, they went overseas.

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't have a license over there. He can't sell houses in Europe.

[Brady]

Pick the guy out and there he is. He's wearing a boa on the streets.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man, I gotta see that one. Did he have A wife. Because all I want to do is tell you, husband's too excited to hug David. Whatever happened to that? By the way, My grandfather would roll. He's probably doing it right now. The way that men greet each other with giant hugs. Now, like on. There you go, there's David Frost giant picture of his rainbow coat. Wow. Actually, he's getting so tattooed up, it's weird. That show is, for some reason just fascinating. And he has a lot to do with it. Well, yeah, that, that part. But sometimes it's like they're just buying a eighty thousand dollar condo because their uncle died. And I'm like, this isn't. This doesn't qualify as a lottery. This is just. Yeah, I fell into some money. Yeah. Last night it was like 11 o'. Clock. I was watching $7.7 million. They won a $400,000 house. I'm like, well, this is just flat out stupid. I don't why you got $7 million. I got to watch you buy a house.

[Brett]

Look at his naughty tattoo on his arm.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's got naughty all. He's. He's got tattoos everywhere now. He's got him up to his throat. Yeah, this dude is up to his throat indeed. Oh, there he is with his shirt off.

[Brady]

Limited edition.

[John Holmberg]

Brett, turn it off. Yeah, it used to be that men used to greet each other with a. How, you know, in a hearty handshake.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Remember?

[John Holmberg]

In a laurel. I believe that was it. A laurel and a hearty handshake. That's what you gave him. And now it's just, hi, cupcake. And then he gives him a big hug. And like heterosexual men are like, I gotta do it. If I don't, I look terrible. Would it be offensive? All right, all right, all right. Yeah. I'm just gonna shake your hand. There's no reason for us to. To tangle up like a rat king.

[Brady]

So with that in mind, 1.7 billion.

[John Holmberg]

That's coming up in a couple of days. I won. I won. Last lottery dream. Oh, I did it. I did it last night. I won. No, no, no.

[Brady]

Would you do the show now?

[John Holmberg]

Like have Dave Brady for $1.7 billion? I would, David. All over every house he showed me. I have $1.7 billion. You think I care at all what anyone thinks of me? I would. I would guzzle every drop of his bodily fluids on television and wave goodbye to society would be it. And I'd get on my awesome yacht and the only person I'd talk to that was outside of my immediate family would be my Boat captain. Oh, and my servant Raul. That's right. I go old school with my servant. Might be Central American. I'm not even going to Mexico for it. I'm going way beyond that. At $1.7 billion, I would.

[Dale Hellstrait]

You see what he did with David.

[John Holmberg]

Bromstead on the lottery show? He blew him like every house. It's like, yeah.

[Brady]

And then bought a three hundred thousand dollar house.

[John Holmberg]

Dude, that's the one thing I wouldn't do, is lowball a stupid house. If I go on there, I'm making. I know how to like. The entertainment value for that show is not watching people shop for a regular place. I saw a couple that won a couple million and they bought a house for a million dollars. Like, that's how you do it. They spent it all. Another dude was homeless when he won his million bucks and he bought a house in Florida. And he was a Florida homeless, and he had a. Just a trashy wife. And I'm like, whatever neighborhood they're gonna end up in is gonna hate them. Sure enough, they're like, we want a pool, we want a kitchen. Like, all houses have kitchens. I want bedrooms. Okay, you're just describing a house.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Indoor plumbing.

[John Holmberg]

I want plumbing. I don't want to have to wipe myself with leaves. Like, all right, all right. I've got the perfect place for you. It's in Ponte Vedra. And then he drove him around, and the dudes, they were. He was just happy to be inside. And again, he's looking around going, oh, look at that, there's nothing. And I'm like, you need to look up and just be grateful there's a roof because you haven't had that for a while. And then he hillbillied his way into this neighborhood, and it was a neighborhood. Hilarious. Yeah. The worst thing in the world is hillbillies.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Who.

[John Holmberg]

You know, it's the Beverly Hillbillies theory. My. My fun is. And I was telling Brady about this, is that in my neighborhood where the rental is. Brett, there's been a murder. Yeah, right up the street there. It's over by 68th street in Scottsdale, or McDowell in Scottsdale, and it's some condo complex. The news did a story and people are talking, and the odd hours I keep at that place, they gotta think it's me because I'm sure I just did it again. I just showed up to roll the trash out. I. I do, I go in, I come out, it's like five in the morning, it's two in the afternoon. And, you know, ins and Outs and ins and outs. And wasn't there one more.

[Brady]

Pretty late and the guy's just walking by.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there was a guy, five in the morning when I was pulling out of there, and he came out with his dog to say hello. Well, he was walking his dog. It's nice. So. And there's a, you know, there's a green belt kind of walkway.

[Brady]

I thought there was sometime like, it was earlier than that, like 2am Due.

[John Holmberg]

To 2am that was doing weed eating the other night. But I was up making noise in the backyard. So I think they might. If I keep it up, they might start questioning me. And I told Brady, and I think it disturbed him that, like, being a murderer, that would be an interesting. Like, I. I don't have it in me. Kind of wish I did. You know what I mean? Like, to have that mindset to be so drastically different to society and then just go out and put on a happy face because. And we'd all be hypocrites to say that's crazy. All we do is watch murder shows. All we do is listen to murder podcasts. People are fascinated by murders. The best movies ever made are all about murders. The best TV shows are murders. We love it. Dexter is like, some reason. People gravitated towards Dexter because I think deep down we like. It's interesting for some reason to think, how does your brain work and how do you have that? So I would be kind of honored if people are like, I think he did it because I'm not doing it. I don't have. It's like being gay, being a murderer, and I don't want to come. Yeah. I'm just not born that way. Go ahead and do whatever you need to do. One's illegal, one's not. Or as Brett would say, one's illegal. One should be Make America great again. But the. Yeah, the. The, like, the mindset has to be. You have to have it, right? Yeah. If you just don't have it.

[Brady]

Psychopathic.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what it is, but.

[Brady]

It'S a. I thought they were saying, like, it's one gene that's removed.

[John Holmberg]

If they knew that, they could fix it. The sociopath part is that you can. That you can go do this and then still appear normal in society. You just don't have any emotional connections to things. And it's creepy. I don't have it in me, but I am fascinated by it. And I am like all of us. It's just such a. Nobody ever. Like I said to Brady, nobody ever in a Big city starts a tour of places where people didn't get murdered. You go to la, there's like multiple tour buses of just places they found bodies. Like you can get on a double decker bus and it's full most days. TMZ does one where you're driving around looking at places. This is where this guy died. And this is where death. They get this one. And this is where the murders were. And this is the Wonderland murders. And if I start rattling it off, they get nicknames. You know, this is Black Dahlia. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Nobody ever says, this is where Stephanie got away from her murderer. Nobody's doing a tour of that. We're creeps. We're just. As a whole society. We're. Yeah. The. Bianca doesn't matter who the murders. We know who the murderer is more than we do the murdered.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Sharon Tate.

[Brady]

Sharon Tate.

[John Holmberg]

And we know more about that than we do the people who were victims. We're disturbingly fascinated with it. And my neighborhood because I was over there yesterday for five minutes. Guy next door said, got a lot going on around here. Seen the police or anything like suspicious activity. And I'm like, I'm hardly here. And he goes, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we know. Yeah. Anyway, I'm like, ah, he's got his eyes on me. This guy thinks I'm doing it. You seen anything weird? No. Everything in this neighborhood seems fine by me. I've got to go buy more plastic bags.

[Brady]

Bye.

[John Holmberg]

I might make them like. I might make them think I'm doing it.

[Brady]

I gotta sickle the backyard.

[John Holmberg]

I might walk around with just like blood on me and then run back in the house.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I just.

[John Holmberg]

I want to. I don't want to waste the cops time. I want to waste the neighbor's time because I'm not going to live in that neighborhood where I care. I want them to think maybe it was me. Like I was standing out in the driveway just covered in blood, gargling it with like elk horns on for no reason. And then I run back in the house.

[Brady]

They would go nuts.

[John Holmberg]

He lives there by himself, but he's like. He's only there for like eight minutes at a time. He's. It's creepiest thing. And sometimes he gets in a waymo and he goes somewhere else. It's. He's doing it. Yeah, I think that would be awesome. And to see the Brady's of the neighborhood who just like to walk around and look into your windows and there's the. Just stand in front of the Window just covered in blood with plastic bags. Shut in a blind. I would. I want people to think that getting.

[Brady]

The power tools at 1 2am American Psycho style.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. We all remember those guys. Patrick Bateman. We know his name. And that's just a movie. He's sort of. We're so freaky weird about it. And to act like we're not interested, it's just either have it or you don't. I certainly don't. I couldn't. It's gross. You know, I agree. I don't like handling raw chicken, so I don't know what I would do with a dead body. But I do like the idea of being thought of that way. Just to kind of make the neighbors. And they're gonna leave you alone, even though they'll be kind of eyeballs on you. It would be more fun. I might do that this weekend. Just coat myself in red liquid and stand outside and howl. And then go back and then leave. Just leave the area for like two days just to see how many people it was. Holmberg. He's an. Don't. He's doing it to mess with you. I think he's the killer. Yeah. The only dangerous thing is, is that they're shooting doorbell ditchers now. So dude standing in his front yard covered in blood with elkhorns on, probably might catch an arrow or something. He'd be a little touchy. Yeah. I just might run some power tools in the middle of the night. Now that the neighbors are worried. I just have a saw for no reason at two. Just. And then like a scream. I might scream. I'll run the saw for a second, then I'll scream.

[Brady]

Drilling's always good, too.

[John Holmberg]

Drilling is always good because it's confusing. It seems like kind of quiet, but you could be doing some serious damage. But a drill and a scream. Could you imagine in the middle of the night? See, this is where I can't be a normal human being. It's like if I just start. Shut up. And that's the last you hear. I'm hearing some crazy stuff. And then I leave. Then immediately I leave. And there's no evidence in my house at all that I've done anything wrong. That would be a waste of the cops time. And that's the last thing I want to do anyway. I'm fascinated by it because there's a murderer on the loose. And the way the news presents it, a murderer's on the loose by 68th Street McDowell. They think it's a targeted murder. Then you read about it and it's kind of seems like a dude mad at another dude and he took him out. I don't think he's just walking up and down the canal waiting to kill again. Maybe. Maybe he lives right next to you in a rental house, that he's only there occasionally.

[Brett]

You're gonna have all the Brady's of.

[John Holmberg]

The neighborhood all over you. That would be the best.

[Brett]

As soon as you pull in the drive. Hi, neighbor.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, friend. I saw you howling at the moon last night. How's it going? You want to be next? What? You want. You want to join me in my house for some lemonade? I would like to meet your family.

[Brady]

Got a new set of drill bits.

[John Holmberg]

I would like to see your tools. May I borrow your tools, please?

[Brady]

Sure, friend. I straightened him out, but he's running that generator late at night.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the generator sound. That's a good one. Just fire that up for no reason. I needed more power, that's all. What happened last night? You're running a generator. Did you lose power? No, I just needed a ton more. It was hard getting through the thing I was doing. I wouldn't. I wouldn't mind that, but. Yeah. And I watch id. I watched the show yesterday just for a little bit while I was about ready to go out to the wing eating contest last night. Called man in a Van. It's on the ID channel and it's just. It's a series of shows. Huh.

[Brett]

Sounds gay.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. All right. Your brain went the wrong place.

[Brett]

Well, you started talking about David a.

[John Holmberg]

Little bit earlier, so I was like, here we go. Not man in a lottery. No, no, no. Man. And that's how it all started. That sound gay. That's gay. What's gay about man in a van? I automatically think molestation or murder. Why do you think man in a Van is gay?

[Brett]

Twink running around in a windowless van and stuff?

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. Man in a van that's gay.

[Brett]

Started the show with the gay part.

[John Holmberg]

So you're.

[Dale Hellstrait]

You're.

[John Holmberg]

You're hypersensitive? Pretty much. Man in a Van is about a dude who just drives around. It's about multiple guys with vans who have killed. So it's just. We have so many murders with vans that they can start a show about.

[Brady]

The movie Brad Pitts in a van.

[John Holmberg]

Well, not all. That's. That's an SAT question. Not all people with vans are murderers, but a lot of murderers have vans. So much so that they can do a whole show of man in the van and have multiple topics. Man in A van is. The dude was driving around yesterday. He had a. It was like a purple van with the word hope on the side of it and a phone number because it was the church's van, and he'd been accused of rape and murder in the past. This is why I don't like religious people. It's because they hired him at the church. And the pastor's like, I believe in forgiveness and giving someone a second chance. And the cops are like, well, he's been using your van to kill and rape women. Well, that. That we didn't expect. You should have. You're dumb as. You're dumb as a stump, Mr. Jesus will fix this. You gave him a van. What were you thinking? He had keys to a van. He's been accused of rape and murder three times in his life. And you're like, yeah, he'll get better because of me. It didn't work. Well, we just thought we'd give him a second chance. Well, you did. You gave him a van and a second chance of. The thing he loves more than anything is raping and killing ladies. And he did it in your van. Who are these cameras here for? Cause we're filming man in a van, and you're the idiot who gave the rapist a van. That is one thing. I don't care how much you believe Jesus can help Allah. Anything you believe. Dude comes in and he's got rape and murder on his resume. And you're like, well, the only position we have open is driving around our van. He's not qualified. I don't care. Jesus isn't helping that dude. Stop. You're way too into yourself to think that. You're like, well, I can fix him. No, you can't. He wants your van. He's not listening to you. I'm here for the van driver position. You've got any rapes and murders under your belt? I've been accused. Okay. No, thank you. No, thank you. We'll see you later. It's a simple process. Jesus brought me to you so I wouldn't rape and kill no more. Can I borrow your van? That's. He's going to rape and kill. He wants the van. He doesn't care about your beliefs. And that's exactly what this dude did. Took a. What do they call that? A recipe. Reciprocal recipe. Saw, like a little horseshoe. Reciprocal. Yeah. Reciprocating. There you go. Smashed a woman in the head. And he had the church's van. So a lady's sitting there, and she looks sad, and he goes, you need help with Jesus. And it's like, oh my God, do I ever need Jesus. Now hop in the van. And he wrapped her up in a shower curtain and blew her up. All she thought was the hope van had come for her. Oh, boy, did it, yeah, check out man in a van. I might buy a van and park it at the rental and just drag carpets out of it constantly in and out with carpet.

[Brett]

Just some windowless chomo van and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

With the word hope and a phone.

[Brady]

Number on the side wrapped in a shower curtain.

[John Holmberg]

Shower curtains, constant shower curtains just coming in and going out just so that one dude with his big stupid thermos stands in his yard, goes, what do you got going on there, huh? Nothing.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Bye.

[John Holmberg]

And then just leave and don't come back for like four days. They've got to be so confused. And now they're all worried there's a murderer in the neighborhood and I get to come and go. It's awesome. It's flat awesome. And again, we can be hypocrites all we want. If the top 30 podcasts weren't all murder podcasts, I wouldn't be. I mean, we make comedies out of it. Our friend Jimmy Whisman, they do that small town murder show and it's a comedy show that tours the entire nation where they talk about nothing but murders in small towns. Real ones. We love that stuff. We're, we're thrilled by it. We love crime. We, not all of us can commit it, which is a good thing, but we absolutely kind of, we are morbidly fascinated by that. And a huge. If it, if it weren't for football, that would be the number one thing. Football will take over here over the next few months. But when society gets bored, we watch murder shows. Lawyers, murders.

[Brett]

We love watches.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's because it's great. Documentaries. What are they all about? Murderers.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

Medicate. This is Larry McFeely and it's Prime Toyota time. With cooler mornings, those desert sunsets, and weekends floating down the Salt river with your friends, that's when you need a truck to haul tubes, coolers, and still look sharp after the all new 2025 Toyota Tacoma is built for Arizona Life that I force. Max hybrid engine is perfect for pulling gear up canyon roads with 465 foot pounds of torque. When September calls for the Salt River, a mountain getaway or just cruising around the valley, the Tacoma's ready to roll. Visit your valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com toyota let's go places.

[Brady]

It's Brady from the HMS crew for game Day Men's Health, the valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations. You should do what I did and schedule a complime appointment which is quick and easy. You'll meet with a board certified medical director and figure out what treatments that can help you. Whether you need more energy, medical weight loss or sexual health treatments. Game Day Men's Health Clinic is a true game changer. Go to gameday phoenix.com and schedule your complimentary appointment today. Get back in the game with Game Day Men's Health.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holberg and Brett Vesely from the morning sickness coming at you. For our pals at Action Ride Shop.

[Brett]

It'S summertime, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the outdoors here in Arizona. You just have to be smart about it.

[John Holmberg]

That's a fact, Bert. Ride Shop is step one in the smart department. They've got awesome deals on all their ebikes right now.

[Brett]

They also have specials on their mountain bikes and neighborhood commuters.

[John Holmberg]

And just because it's hot out doesn't mean you can't grab a light and ride the glorious Arizona trails. With an awesome setup from outbound lighting and night rider.

[Brett]

Get to Action Ride Shop on the 60 and Gilbert or their new location on McDowell and Power.

[John Holmberg]

Action rideshop.com Hol's Morning Sickness it's been 30 years. We're still like, if I say OJ, you're like, it was the trial of the century. Not because everybody loved OJ.

[Brett]

When that last documentary came out about him 30 years later, number one show on Netflix.

[John Holmberg]

It was huge. We don't as a society talk about the same things at all anymore. When that OJ documentary came out, that's all people were chatting about. We had Cato Kalin on the show, for God's sakes. We need to call Cato. He was fun. And get Cato back in here. Anyway.

[Brady]

It's died down a little bit for him.

[John Holmberg]

For Cato?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You think?

[Brady]

Yeah, a little bit. I mean, he was riding the wave of the documentary.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

He's been doing that for 30 years.

[John Holmberg]

I was gonna say he just has to go. Well, he has to go with the waves.

[Brady]

Yeah, for sure.

[John Holmberg]

Whenever the. And he's got a root for it. Like people need to get interested in OJ's murder again. For Cato to have an extra. Yeah.

[Brett]

Once high tide comes in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Then it sucks him back out. He's like, well, I gotta wait a couple more years, but make hay while you can. Oh, Geez. I said, hasn't Brett confessed about a few things? And he drives your van? Actually, we have a truck now.

[Brett]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

So that doesn't count because it's an exposed bed. If he pulled up next to a. Like, a cement truck, they could see his work in the back, and he wouldn't want that man in a van. Last night, I was at the Native Grill for the finals of the wing eating contest, the Holmberg. And so I get there, and Evan is the guy who runs the thing, right?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So Evan is there, and he said, last year, Evan and I toe to toe in a wing eating contest. He challenged me before the finals to have a wing eating contest, and I obliterated the guy. It wasn't. He's a pro. No, no. Evan, he's just.

[Brett]

We work. I mean, that's what he does.

[John Holmberg]

He just hangs around wings. He doesn't eat them fast at all. He's not. He's just there a lot. Dude was terrible at it, and he threw the challenge at me. I'm like, I can eat. I'll do. And I hadn't eaten last year. I didn't eat. So I was like a 1.8 pounds of wings. I was. Had I been in the finals contest, I think I'd have come in third. And it was close. And just the contest I had with him. So last. Last night, I get there, and I just had a nice burger guy named Jonathan at. He. He buys sides of beef. I just met him at Verlo Mattress. It's. The mattresses are great. Go talk to him about where he gets his beef, because that's even. So I got this, like, all natural beef from him. And so I've been making these hamburger patties, and they're amazing. So I had a big, fat, delicious, all natural. Oh, just eating the meat out of the package, just raw. I flash fry it and just eat it raw. And then I stand in my front yard with elkhorn. So I had one of those, and then I went to the thing, and he goes, hey, one of our contestants isn't here. Will you get in the contest this year? I'm like, oh, man, I just ate. There's no possible way I'm gonna be. And he goes, come on. We got the wings all made. I'm like, you do it. And he goes, nobody wants to watch me eat. And I'm like, nobody wants to watch me eat. This is. And he said, you did great last year. He said, if you do it, I'll donate the money to the Humane Society. If you win this thing, the whole thing goes to them. And the Humane Society was there last night with two of the most adorable puppies. Honey and Teriyaki.

[Brady]

Nice.

[John Holmberg]

Unreal. So great. So. And all the money's going to the humane side. I'm like, all right, you hit me in the heart. I'll get in this contest. I was not prepared for breaded wings en masse flying into my stomach in a contest. And I started to go, and I got about a third of the way through, and one of the people in the front row says, it's a lot like an Asian eating flies off of flypaper. He remembered the thing that made me throw up. Brett's videos.

[Brady]

But that thought, in your mind, all.

[John Holmberg]

I could think about was that Asian lady chewing flies off that paper. And I was like. So I came in second to last.

[Brett]

Did you use the bucket? Do you have to use the bucket?

[John Holmberg]

No, I didn't go to the bucket. All right. Okay. I did not go to the bucket. And they were so breaded, and it was just so. And people were screaming, do it for Brady. Like, they were like, this is gonna stop. It's, like, laughing the whole time. So I didn't choke or anything, but I didn't do as well as last year. I maybe ate a pound or so. It was brutal. So he gave some money to the main society, which is great, but I was dying, and I feel horrible, like, eating all those wings, plus having on a full stomach. Oh, and then I make the mistake at the end of the night because my friend Craig was there, and it was his birthday, and then I bought shots for Craig, and then next thing you know, we're dropping crown shots, which I'm not good with at all. I got a belly full of wings. I didn't ask for crown shots. Our listener, Pamela Anderson, was there. Remember her? She played this. She was there. She was super sweet. It was awesome. We had a great time last. The guy from Vet Tix was there, the. The place that gives veterans tickets. He was awesome. It was a great group of people.

[Brady]

And maybe Brad will have a video this morning that you can purge.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I would. I. I wanted to go. I asked out because I was with our sales girl, Jen Gardner last night.

[Brett]

She showed up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she actually showed up to one of her events, which is rare.

[Brady]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. We're all surprised. Did she go to any of your. No, no, she didn't go. She went to the final Jen Garden. She works here sometimes, so. But she's real thin and from California, so I was like, hey, show me the way of getting rid of this faster. The way you do it to stay thin. Like, what did you learn at UCLA that made it so you. How fast? Because I can do the fingers in the throat, but what about. What diuretics would you take after pounding all this? It's so hard. But the guy that won crushed it. His name was Mersa. And, yeah, like the disease. And it was. It was a. It was a killing. It was an absolute. It was a bloodbath.

[Brady]

Yeah. Mercer's one. That one of them my week one.

[John Holmberg]

Mercer's a big dude. And he took it down four point or what point was like a half a wing divided first from second place. It was like 0.8 ounces. It was an amazing. It was actually fun. But all these people watching us eat, it was gross. It's just gross to watch us all slobbering and getting wing juice all over. It's gross. Watching people eat is gross. But people show up to do it. But, yeah, he won that. So congratulations to him last night. It was. It's pretty great. On a full ironic take I way mode over to the. To the native Ron Ray and i10 last night, so on. And it takes all surface streets. And it took a weird little route through Tempe. And I went by a place called Feed my starving children. And I immediately felt horrible about what I was about to do. We. I had to pass this giant charity to feed the hungry. Kirby and I went there. You've been to Feed my starving Children?

[Brady]

Yeah, we packed up a bunch of meals.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's just wrong for you to do it for me. For me to go to a wing eating contest and pass feed my. It's wrong for you to go to Feed my Starving Children and then go to Wendy's and get frosties after. No, it's just wrong. It's just wrong. Waymo did that on purpose. Like, they drove me past. And by the way, change the name of that, because when I see the word my, I'm like, you do it like they're your kids. If it was Feed the starving children, I'd be like, yeah, that's probably a good idea. Feed My starving Children Feed sounds lazy.

[Brady]

That's the whole thing they bring, you know, you go over there as a group. So her. Her basketball team went over.

[John Holmberg]

It's very nice.

[Brady]

You put this assembly line together and you put together all these meals that go to all over the place, right?

[John Holmberg]

And then you go to an all you can eat wings contest and realize how I live in the most hypocritical world ever.

[Brett]

Why do you feel bad? I mean, you got, you got those wings left over. You should just flung the tray out the window when you're driving home and.

[John Holmberg]

Left it in the parking lot. There you go. They closed it. Doing my part. I should have gone over because I saw that they closed at 9 o'. Clock. I could have just knocked on the door and said, there's some bones that are. But you just wipe those away. There's plenty of good wings in here. Yeah, I'd like to see your part. Like to feed your kids? Yeah. The word my threw me off from like feed my kids. That's what some broad Nepachi junction would say on a street corner. Feed the starving children. That's different. Now I gotta go to an all you can eat wing eating contest with five other dudes and then throw away about 17 pounds of wings afterwards. But yeah, you, you feed those kids. It was. Punched me right in the guts. And it's a nice charity, but being part of an all you can eat wings contest and passing Feed My Starving Children, you wrestle with that.

[Brady]

The name says it all.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, you know, I get it from the name. But then I'm over there staring at 60 wings and we're just laughing. And then I had to think about that place, thinking, those sons of bitches. Like, I wonder if anybody from Feed My Starving Children was there. Just if I didn't notice somebody just shaking their heads going, you know, that's where Mercer works. That would be awesome if he was a power eater and he worked at Feed My Starving Children. America is just loaded. And I mean loaded with hypocrisy. Just giant pigs going back and forth to wing eating contests and hot dog eating contests. Meanwhile, we don't even notice that we passed a charity for all those hungry people in the world we're just crushing wings for. And people win money for doing it. It's the two things the nations that that place benefits don't have, which is money and food. I went, I was at a. I was in a room last night where six people were competing for a thousand dollars to eat as much as they could. America. Meanwhile, these pricks are up until 9 o' clock every night packaging boxes for places that have no money or food. Mercer drove away with a check and a belly full of food he didn't even need. And that's. You know what? That makes me proud to be an American. I'm. That's good stuff. We live in a Nate. No you know what no other country has Feed the Americans. No place in the world will you go. And your Waymo takes you down a road of a store that says feed the Americans. We're the only ones in the world doing that. You don't go to Mexico and see Feed the hungry American store. It's not there. You don't even go to Canada and see Feed the Americans. We're the only ones we would feed hungry Canadians. That's how much food we've got. You know what I think we should do? Incorporate the two ideas. We feed the starving children with wing eating contests. We like stuff them.

[Brady]

It's a good idea.

[John Holmberg]

We take all of these contests we have of gluttony and overeating and we just get like 10 starving Africans to stand there with Joey Chestnut and Crush. They drop dead.

[Brady]

They would.

[John Holmberg]

That's what we like to tell ourselves. We like to think, oh, if we fed them so much, they'd end up getting real sick. Like, no, they'd be thrilled. You gave them 70 hot dogs just on a plate in front of them and just said, you. You got 10 minutes to eat these. They devoured every. There wouldn't be any hot dogs in all of the boardwalk. You just. That's what we need to do. This is a great idea. Combine this misery of starving people with food eating challenges. Now that's a show.

[Brady]

And we take them to the next level.

[John Holmberg]

That is a show. We flew to the Sudan and we found 10 starving kids and we'd play hot ones with them and like, we ask them about their day and just make them eat hot wings. Get through the gauntlet, through all the Scovilles.

[Dale Hellstrait]

They would eat it.

[John Holmberg]

They wouldn't care. It's chicken. They love it. They'll just crush it. What is this one? Oh, that's the hottest one. Oh, my God. You ate the bone. I have not eaten in days. The last thing I ate was my friend's feces. All right, we can have a feces eating contest around here. These people eat it anyway. That is a great television show. And who's frowning on that? What group gets mad if Native Grill and Wings and me fly over to some starving nation? Plop down those same five trays. What if we took this idea to feed my starving children?

[Brady]

Nothing goes to waste.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing goes to waste. Would they be alright with it? And we give $1,000 to the winner and he becomes king of whatever country that is because they.

[Brett]

Zamunda.

[John Holmberg]

He's the king of Zamunda. We make kings. It's King making. This is fan. But we're too. I don't think everybody, like, clutch their pearls over this. Meanwhile, nobody cared last night, while five fat guys crushed wings and left, like, 20 pounds behind, and I had to pass feed my starving children on the way home and go, sorry, I'm. I'm too full. I'd stop, but I'm. I am so full. Yeah, I bet you there are.

[Brady]

The crazy thing is, we could do it here.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean? Oh, we could help America.

[Brady]

You know what's amazing? That all this gluttony and all the food that we have, we still have.

[John Holmberg]

Look, I don't think we have much. I don't think we do.

[Brady]

It seems like it's hard to find.

[John Holmberg]

If you're starving in America, it's your fault if you're.

[Dale Hellstrait]

If you're.

[John Holmberg]

If you're starving in America, Usually.

[Brady]

At least that's what we're told.

[John Holmberg]

Usually someone in your immediate. Whoever's supposed to be supplying food is buying drugs. That's probably a fact. If you're starving in America. I'm saying if you're hungry in America, that's different. If you're starving, like, you don't see that. That's not a thing. Like, there's nobody in Mississippi right now just, like, emaciated with flies all around them, and somebody just give him a sandwich.

[Brett]

We got flies around them. Yeah, it's Mississippi.

[John Holmberg]

There's flies around because they're Mississippians. But, like, you know, an excessive amount of flies. You know what I mean? Like, noticeable. Yeah. Like, not just Mississippi flies, but like.

[Brady]

Not like the UNICEF commercials that you've seen in the.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Growing up with.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. With Sally Strothers.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No, we don't have that. We could feed hungry kids here. There's a few kids that are like, I haven't eaten for a day.

[Brett]

She should feel bad. Look how big that broad was trying to feed the hungry.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Sally Strothers went over there, a little plump, telling everybody, you know, they're not eating, but, you know, she was. Yeah, she wasn't missing any meals over there.

[Brady]

Commercial goes over to craft services.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Eats a donut. What is that? It's a pastry. Get your hands off of it. You get rice and paste. I will eat the rice and paste.

[Dale Hellstrait]

But that looks very good.

[John Holmberg]

Get away from her. She gets really mad if she doesn't get her dozen hands off my Pop Tart. That's mine. Get over here and give me that back. She said my name very accurately and yelled at Me for touching her giant Long John.

[Brady]

That was a good take there. But we did. We need more flies.

[John Holmberg]

All right, bring in the flies. You on the right, quit eyeballing Sally's donuts. Those are hers. She needs those. Hands off the donuts, Africans. All right, look hungry. The cameras are rolling.

[Brady]

Like, we got a problem. The flies are all over the donuts.

[John Holmberg]

We can't get them to move. Sally won't come out for the filming until he gets flies off her donuts. All right, we need the exterminator over here. What is an exterminator? Not for you guys. No, don't worry about it. We're just here for the flies. Don't worry about it. You're good. This is a great idea. And again, if you're starving in America, listen to a radio station in every city in the country and find out who's having an eating contest and just show up. Radio's free, so if you're hungry, you can get one of those and just. Just scan the dial for a contest and then take your hungry ass over there to the native. And none of the dudes there last night looked hungry, but they figured it out. It was awesome. I could change the world and entertain them at the same time. Could you imagine if Sally Strothers was like, we're here in Africa and they are starving, so we have 14 buckets of wings and the winner gets $1,000. You would watch that. Maybe you'd be sad, but you'd be watching that for sure. That would be the number one show in America for at least a month.

[Brady]

Take over for Survivor.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. It would be the number one show for a month for sure. If that's how we fix the hunger problem in the. And they'd be puking. You can't puke. You lose the money, you can't have it. You want to be king of Zamunda, you have to keep it down. Yeah.

[Brett]

Freaking sitting there pounding wings and drinking Stellas.

[John Holmberg]

Nice. I have never had this before. What is this? It's a Stella Artois. This helps the Humane Society.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Why? What about us?

[John Holmberg]

Just eat your wings and shut up. We're helping dogs.

[Brady]

You let those in your house?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Wouldn't they be delicious? See, this is why you can't have it. We got to have Humane sight to keep them away from you guys. Anyway, it's a good idea. And don't act like you wouldn't watch it. Cause you would. That might be. That might beat football numbers. We might get, like, a 40 share. Rolling Africans out In an eating contest. Sure. It's classic.

[Brady]

Midway through the season.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You get into the doldrums, like week nine, and you got to watch the Buccaneers and Jags play on a Monday night. I bet you African eating contest would beat that starving wing eating contest right there. Look at you. You're laughing like that's the name of it.

[Brady]

I gotta watch it.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta see how this ends. Anyway, it was kind of a dichotomy. My mind split in two last night as I pass. And good work, by the way, to the folks over at the place. I don't like the name of Feed My Starving Children because my cynical brain just said, do it yourself, because they seem. You seem to have taken ownership of them. What do I have to do with it? Just change the the and the my. Just get rid of the my. Feed the Starving Children. And then I looked it up online, and the CEO of Feed My Starving Children made $330,000 last year because they had some new rule. I think Obama did that, where he made it like, you have to be transparent with the. With the money that, like, how much people get paid at charities. There's like a whole site of all the charities, and what CEO gets paid?

[Brady]

Because that one that you saw the commercial. Or Feed the Starving Jews.

[John Holmberg]

That's not exactly how they say that's.

[Brady]

The name of it.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. It's sort of close. Feed the Holocaust Survivors. And all I'm saying is how many of them are left?

[Brady]

That guy was making 1.7 million.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right? A million seven off of like eight people.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

How was it 80 years ago if you're still hungry and still blaming the Holocaust?

[Brady]

And they're. They're taking in millions.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

How much is Susan G. Komen's president?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that was huge. That got out of control. Yeah. A lot of those charities, the. You know, and they're good work. But then you start looking, you're like, ah, I think we all kind of want the charity to get all the money, but you have to realize you got to have somebody running the show, and it ain't an easy job.

[Brett]

Well, look into your charity is what you say.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Brady]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And if you start to notice that the CEO's pulling 17 million a year. Right. And they're still begging like, college football has the nerve right now to run commercials saying, you gotta save college sports. Please save college sports. I'm like, save college sports. You're pay. Ohio State is paying their football team $30 million a year. You save college sports. You're asking Me for money? Are you out of your minds? Take some of that TV billions. Save your own sports. Well, we won't have women's basketball. You're not getting any money from me for that. If that's what we're saving, I'm fine letting her go. What about swimming? There's a reason it needs saving. No one watches it. How can these people swim without college? There's pools. I didn't go to college. I can swim. Yeah, that's a garbage. That commercial is hard to watch because it's such a scam. During the Ohio State Texas game, I got a guy trying to cry and tell me that college sports are dying. They're in the red every year. Then you're just mismanaging the money. We can't. We can't keep wrestling alive. Looks like nobody cares. You're not selling tickets to wrestling. That means no one likes wrestling, so it's over. Let them start their own business. I say the same thing about the wnba. If it can't stand on its own, don't beg me for money. College sports is in trouble. TCU only played 19 million for their entire football roster. Can you imagine how poor it would be? They don't have a chance at a national championship. Texas Christian is hurting to keep the wrestling program alive. Sounds like we should close that down, start eating contests. Now, that is a kid. I get a. You could get a scholarship doing that. That's a thing they're trying with the esports. Esports is a real thing, and people buy tickets to it, and it has, like, a value. They sell out Deluxor, like, regularly for esports. It's a. It's a financial winner. If swimming and wrestling and girls badminton aren't cutting it. Don't beg me during a football game to keep that alive. I'm watching this game. I see 16 advertisers every eight minutes. I think you guys should kind of maybe recirculate that money yourselves. They'll do it again Saturday during a college game. Did you even notice that while you were watching? 10 times it ran during the Texas Ohio dudes walking on a field. College sports are in trouble. Really? Because this game's gonna pull 20 million people, and I'm pretty sure the advertising revenue is massive for it. Tell me again how you're in trouble. We can't keep swimming alive. All right, well, drain the pool.

[Brady]

Highest viewed opening game for Fox Sports.

[John Holmberg]

And you think Fox Sports is like, geez, we didn't make much, or for Fox, basically, for the Big ten, for Texas For Ohio State, it was a huge win for everybody. Dudes wandering around the stadium at Texas Tech, which just bought a player for $8 million telling us the high we can't keep. We don't know how to. Where's the money?

[Brett]

I mean, they bought a player for $8 million.

[John Holmberg]

That's what they're doing now. They can. They're paying college players. So the football players, they recruited a kid. It cost like 8 million bucks.

[Brett]

So what's the difference between that and the NFL now?

[John Holmberg]

Not much. That's why everybody's twice that way. What's the point?

[Brady]

Point.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you. Make it a farm system and just stop with the college law. Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

Yes. Well, the difference is they're up front with the money now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

They can talk about.

[John Holmberg]

They used to lie about it and now the only difference. Exactly.

[Brett]

So now it's like regular football.

[Brady]

That's why a couple of the players like should I go out now or my nil money might be more than my.

[John Holmberg]

It'll keep players in there for like seven or eight years. That's what it's going to do. Guys who can't quite break into the NFL but are pretty good in college can find loopholes through that portal. You can play like seven years, play.

[Brady]

For five different colleges.

[Brett]

Failed social studies.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I didn't make it through this. Until you get drafted. It's crazy. Anyway, football is back. Who cares about college? The pros are back. It's awesome. At 6:30. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 5 8, 5 9, 800. A good one. To celebrate the big wing eating contest and feed my starving children in the same day. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. It's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.

[Brett]

Hey Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.

[Byron]

Brett, I sure do. It's MMP Guns. Customs M and P Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[Brett]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Byron]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with. No wait.

[Brett]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the Northeast COR of 12th street and Indian School or online at MMP gunscustoms.com.

[John Holmberg]

It'S John Holmer here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. Getting used to chronic pain is something that we can all find ourselves doing and not realize we're doing it. And I needed four procedures. I had a lot going on. Two shoulder replacements and yes, at my age, even two hip replacements. But you know what? I'm better today than I've been in 20 years. And now I'm back. Basketball, pain free. Running, pain free. Throwing a baseball or football, pain free. And I can box again. It's exciting because I look forward to the things I love. You don't have to live with pain anymore. Go to the Core Institute.com Audible's Romance.

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[John Holmberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. There you go. Thank you, Katie. And the Hobbs that is miles to nowhere getting it done for us on a Thursday morning. Football again. I'm not gonna stop. This just has to happen every once in a while. Oh, on the Brazilian tundra tonight, the Los Angeles Chargers and perennial AFC champion Kansas City chief battle in front of some of the nicest asses Earth has to offer. But be careful. Some of those Brazilian hotties have dicks. It's true. For Carnival means nothing compared to what the NFL is bringing to Brazil. I think Brazil just goes to the NFL games for the crazy party. Oh, yeah. They don't care about them American football. It's totally pointless.

[Brady]

Yep, another party.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it screws up a lot of stuff too. I know. The Steelers play in Dublin in week four and the game starts at six in the morning. The only thing you're doing is hurting Steelers and Vikings fans. I think it's the Vikings. They play. There's nobody at like it's nine at least in Minnesota or eight in the morning, six o' clock here. I don't know how any Hawaiians are fans of football because it'll be 3am there to watch a football game. Alaska, it's way late. But that's just dumb. But tonight at least you got a regular time. You're pretty much in the time zone down there in Brazil. Is it Sao Paulo or is it Rio? I don't even know where they're putting it. That's all the same. Wonder how many people will be murdered. That's a murder capital. After the game, Patrick Mahomes murdered 13 Brazilians and walked right to the bus. Because that's what they do there. I can't wait.

[Brady]

So tonight's game is the one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh no, tonight's Phil. Yeah, that's Friday. Yeah, that's Friday. That's right. But still I'm excited about that one. That's the game I want to watch. I want to watch. I don't care about Philly and Dallas.

[Brett]

That's in Sao Paulo.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's Sao Paulo. Okay. Yeah.

[Brady]

And it says at 5, 501 start.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because that's, you know, we're in the same start time. South America and the United States are on the same times. But you start rolling over to the UK or wherever else they start. They have a game in Australia, God forbid it'll be tomorrow. Football's back. Yeah. Tonight's the Eagles Cowboys. So everybody will watch that just cause it's on. Eagles fans will be excited. It's a good matchup, but it's just marquee teams. I'm excited, excited to see the Chiefs in charge because I think, you know, Chiefs are going to have one of those years that are maybe finally the announcement that it's over. That's what I'm seeing with them. Maybe so, huh? They get a run left in them, but I think everything's kind of caught up. I don't think the Chargers are the team to catch them, but they play them tight. We'll see. We'll see. I'd like to see them getting battered around a little bit. It's time for the Chiefs to. To step away. It was a nice run. The Eagles took it last year and kind of showed them. Hey, you guys are now second tier as far as championship teams go.

[Brett]

Decent matchups this first week though too.

[John Holmberg]

It's awesome. Yeah, because it's all even. Yeah. Like the parody in the league is ridiculous right now. Nobody knows anything. What's going to happen. It's going to be great. Oh, I'm very excited. Yeah. Eagles and Cowboys tonight opening up with.

[Brady]

The Battle of Ohio.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Nobody cares. And nobody. Nobody cares about that. Not even a little bit. No one outside of Ohio says it's the Battle of Ohio. I got into an argument once about with a guy who said Arizona State and Arizona is the biggest rivalry in college football. I'm like, are you crazy? Shortly answered after by the Battle of Ohio. When people think that the Bengals and Browns draw eyes at all, that is a. What else you want to do Monday night? What's the Monday night game? Browns. Bengals. Oh, it's like we're going to dinner Monday. I'll peek in. I'm not going to watch that whole thing. I don't know how Jacksonville. Jacksonville and the Bengals are the same to most people. The Browns are funny. At least they're comic. Like the Browns should wear. They should just change the name. It rhymes. Just call them the Clowns because they're just put them in, like, jester outfits.

[Brett]

Big red nose and floppy shoes on.

[John Holmberg]

Every year they go out there and clown it up. Brown's going to Brown. They're browning right now. They're gonna Brown up this season, and that hadn't even started yet. There's some things that are constant, and one of them is Brown's gonna Brown. Bengals gonna Bengal. Brown's gonna Brown. Ohio gonna Ohio. At least in the NFL. The best NFL team in Ohio is at Ohio State. The best professional football team for years has been the Ohio State Buckeyes. And they should take a lesson because it's costing the Browns $200 million a year to suck, and it's only costing Ohio State 30 million to win championships. 30 million on paper. Well, that's true. Good point. Well, then the Browns can learn from that, too. Yeah, they should start scamming. All right, it's time we talked about something much more pressing. The Epstein file. And I know it's got people up in arms and stuff, but yesterday, things.

[Brady]

Going all over the place.

[John Holmberg]

All right, exactly 33,3000 pages were released, and they finally got through them. And they said it's just the tip of the iceberg. I know how we get to the bottom of this. Exactly. How we get to the. Somebody will spill. There's all the stuff that came out in 33,000 pages. Think of that. I could buy eight houses a year, fill out the loan paperwork for years, and wouldn't Come close to having seen 33,000 pages. And those are huge. Like 150 page. Think of how big it is when you buy a house or a car, the documents. And you're like, jesus, look at that pile. Where do they put all this? Now multiply that by 300 or 3,000 and you've got 33,000 pages. And it's just a little piece of it. Whoever the dude is who has to file, that is the guy we need to talk to. He's got to be ready to spill.

[Brady]

Give us the. The Reader's digest version.

[John Holmberg]

There isn't one. Yeah, this is it. You've got the Reader's digest version. That's the 33.

[Brett]

33, 000.

[John Holmberg]

It's the little bit.

[Brady]

If that. Is that the chunk that they've accumulated over the. You know, when he went to court.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady]

The first time that.

[John Holmberg]

There's a lot there. 33, 000 pages were released from the files. It's not all of it. It's a bit.

[Brady]

Little.

[John Holmberg]

Little bit. So there's a million pages. Who's writing it? Who's going through the notes and documenting and then, you know, transcribing and where is it? Because whoever's typing with the carpal tunnel is ready to get bribed. What have you been.

[Brady]

You've.

[John Holmberg]

You've written the whole thing. I know, and I'm absolutely tired of it. It just keeps pouring in on me. That dude's under so much stress. That's the real hidden underbelly of this. There's a group of people filing this. There's a lot of people who know what it is, and they're under lock and key with a gun to their head to not say a word. Because I know for a fact if you gave me a job that said, file those 33,000 pages. And I'm like, if you don't tell me right after that. If I don't, you'll kill me. I'm telling everybody about what I found. We went through KUPDS when we closed the old building in Guadalupe, and we found a few old file cabinets. We went through and found out how many old employees and what they made. Like, we. And we spilled our beans, like, immediately about people who were still there. Like, we found some. If you're in the Epstein filing business and you're just rolling through the computer, I gotta click this and put this here. You've seen all of it. And there's another dude who has to go through and go. Better black that out. There are multiple people Reading all of these. Somebody needs to get to them, pay them and say, come on, speed this up a little bit.

[Brett]

Someone pay the guy with the Sharpie.

[Brady]

This says, or is that the design of it? Or it's just going to be buried. So much stuff.

[John Holmberg]

But there's somebody doing the work, right? Get to that guy. Quit asking Trump, quit asking Biden, quit asking Democrats and Republicans and get to the dude in the room with the files. He's tired of it. His job's too hard. Spengler just emailed over and says according to AI, 33,000 sheets of paper is 10 and a half feet to 11 and a half feet tall. That's, that's two Bradys on top of each other of paper. And that's just a little piece of the file. Nobody thinks about the poor slums that have to sit in a computer room and type it all in or input the data or take all the information from the hearings and the documents and the depositions and then put it in. Somebody's typing all this stuff and somebody's reading all of it to say this is okay to release. We better not do this. What's that dark underbelly that we don't talk about? Everybody says, oh, Trump's hiding this, this guy's hiding that. What about the people who do the work?

[Brady]

Work, yeah, whatever nicean group put the ones to put the one that this is approved out there.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Brady]

The Apocrypha.

[John Holmberg]

They're the ones. We want the whole damn thing. Like, no, no, you ain't ready for the whole thing. You should see some of the stuff I've read. Doesn't that make that the worst person involved?

[Brady]

A lot of it repeats itself.

[John Holmberg]

Like if Brady was filing the Epstein files and I'm like, hey Brady, have you seen anything? Oh, oh brother. Some of the things I've seen, the things they did to those kids. Kids, aren't you a bad guy? Now wouldn't that make Brady a bad guy for having seen it and going, I gotta blow the whistle on this whole deal.

[Brady]

But evidently I wasn't part of it. I saw some of this stuff.

[John Holmberg]

I. Because I'll get killed otherwise. That's the real the Clintons. The Clintons will kill you. Game over. I don't know why we get involved in that, but we will kill a for telling anybody about Epstein Island. The bad dirty stuff just keep floating out all the non sense. Yeah, they drown you in this. But somebody's got to be doing that work. And what we don't talk about while we sit and go, they're covering it up. They're covering it up. Is the dude who had nothing to do with it who gets murdered if he says what he sees. And there's an entire government agency of that. I sound like Alex Jones right now. But that's true. Because when they said yesterday, 33,000 pages. We've gone through them. Nothing new here. We're waiting for the rest of it. No, I'm like, how in the world is there. The rest of it? You couldn't cover it in 33,000 pages.

[Brett]

How is there nothing new in 33,000 pages?

[John Holmberg]

That stuff we already knew, like. Well, you went through all 33,000. Yeah, I knew all that. Like, I don't think I have 33,000 pages of knowledge in my head about everything. That's just one topic. So what we really should be talking about is the truth that lies underneath the surface of this weird story is that there's a whole group, paid for and under the threat of a blade to say, read all this, put it in a computer, and if you say anything, we're gonna cut your heads off. And they do it. Who knows who they are dealing with.

[Brady]

Something that was just that put people in positions that there's so much money involved. You open that can of worms.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Reylo said, the Epstein files. Why did they release 33 black sheets of paper from all the redactions. Exactly. But if there's tons of redactions, somebody's got to go through and black that out. There's somebody going through all these. Find that dude. He's tired of his job. I guarantee you he's ready to talk.

[Brett]

But doesn't want to die.

[John Holmberg]

Then you protect him. Like, get the mob back involved. Get Brett's people back.

[Brett]

I've been saying that for years. And everybody looks at me like, come on.

[John Holmberg]

On. The mob would go in and fix stuff like this. They could be the ones doing it.

[Brett]

That's when Vegas was better.

[John Holmberg]

Vegas was awesome.

[Brady]

When the mob ran, they were off. It was 33 pages, but you got.

[John Holmberg]

To think about that. Yeah, we missed by. We don't know where these numbers come from. These. That somebody moved the decimal. It's a small children's book. There's nothing going on. And I don't say, like, a children's book like that. Epstein had some problems with that. Nothing to see here.

[Brady]

These pages have pictures.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's. Well, it's just crazy. Whatever's on them. Somebody sits in a basement somewhere with a group of employees saying, all right, guys, every page, you Go through. If this word's in it, black it out. And they have to read it. Somebody still has to read it. A computer can go through and say, all right, we'll black out all these. If this word's on the page, black out the page. But somebody has to see that. And somebody knows the list of keywords to tell the computer to get rid of that are too detrimental to it. And then it comes back a full black page. And that guy's got to have some curiosity. Curiosity to go, whoa, I want to go peek at this page and see what we just blacked out. Because this is all. The computer blacked the whole thing out. Somebody like, who isn't important knows all this stuff and that makes them as bad as anyone else. Like if I was.

[Brady]

How about all these, you know, companies or businesses that are yelling how crooked Epstein is, which is how it looks. But yet they took.

[John Holmberg]

That's hindsight. Everybody always comes out and said, why are you doing.

[Brady]

They took the money donated to the charity.

[John Holmberg]

Anybody who makes a ton of money is going to have some enemies that they feel like they got rooked by the guy. That's just part of having success. The success you have competition. He made a billion. The other guy didn't. Epstein stole from me. That's natural.

[Brady]

But if I'm, I'm not even talking about that. I'm talking about that Epstein helped them out in their business or charity and all that.

[John Holmberg]

And then, well, they have to distanced themselves. So yeah, he was, you know, he, he was like a sociopath. He went about, yep. The city of New York as the king of New York for a little while and everybody took his money and got in bed with him and, and did business and stuff. But I'm talking about. Who's the group? Tell me. Nobody asked that question. I never watched any of the news sources goes, who's doing the redacting? Like, that's who we need to look into.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Who's the wor.

[John Holmberg]

Like if it's Brady down in a basement just reading, ho ho. You can't do that to a kid. Better black that out. That guy's just as bad. Because I know if I was reading that and it's like, and then Clinton, Obama, Trump, Biden and Kamala Harris gang banged a five year old. Like, oh my God, I gotta tell everybody about this. That dude's just like, no, black that up. Cause he'll get. He's gotta. It's gotta be like a guillotine over him all the time.

[Brady]

And is that part of the whole thing. When was it Christy Dome who came out like, hey, boy, to we're releasing this Pam Bond. Pam Bond?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She said, we'll release it all. It'll all be out.

[Brady]

Oh, you're going to see.

[John Holmberg]

No, you're not. Somebody is like, the COVID up.

[Brady]

That's it.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think the COVID up is. I don't think. And everybody wants it to be their side is winning and the other side isn't. But the bottom line is that's all. Everybody's covering it up. But who's doing the work? Because I know Trump's not in there reading, like, no. Nope, nope, nope. Because I know if it was me that was being accused of this and they gave me access to those files, I'd be the one blacking stuff out. I'd be protecting my own ass. I wouldn't trust Brett. You're gonna read some things in there, Brett, but I trust you. Black it out for me, buddy. Like, I'm gonna make sure I'm doing this myself. So I don't see him doing it. There's a group of people that are hired to do this.

[Brady]

I'm picturing it's like Willy Wonka when he looks out the factory door, morning down at all the tables, all these people are reading the files. It would just take a thousand.

[John Holmberg]

You're hungry, aren't you? That was a candy ride. You compared the Epstein files to Willy Wonka, which is.

[Brett]

It's got to be.

[Brady]

Have we found anything yet?

[John Holmberg]

You know, of course.

[Brett]

Come on. You can't read 33, 000.

[Brady]

I know.

[Brett]

It's not like they got one dude there.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's right with that. Well, somebody's doing it, though. Somebody's telling the computer, the AI it's gotta be what to redact. Well, that's true. Right, but so, like what I'm saying, when those files come out and a whole page is redacted, and I know what words get blacked out by AI And I see like eight pages. I'm curious enough to go back in and go, what happened here? Somebody does. You would have that keep your mouth shut. If you and I were in a room and I'm like, did you read that last page? We just blacked out Clinton. Let's just say he loves ketchup. I didn't expect that. I love ketchup. I pour it on my body and I just let the children lick it all.

[Brett]

And you know what happens?

[John Holmberg]

All right. Then you get killed. Yeah, exactly. So the two of us have to.

[Brett]

Keep Their eyes shut.

[John Holmberg]

It's like the scene in. What was that? New Jack City where Pookie went into that room and everybody was naked doing the cocaine. Because if they had clothes, they had pockets, and that means they could steal some. And they got could. They got paid well. But they also knew anything happens, they're getting offed. Yep, that's what it has to be. A room of naked people.

[Brett]

Oh, look at Epstein.

[Brady]

He knew too much.

[John Holmberg]

Good point.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Goodbye.

[John Holmberg]

But it just doesn't seem like the journalists are doing their jobs and saying, where are these files? Like, where do you hide them? Oh, they're in the hidden file room. Like now that seems fishy right there. Who's in there? Who's the like. Dig down into that and you know what would start happening? You'd hear, hi, how are you? My name's Bill Clinton, former President of the United States. And I guess you've been fishing around in that room a little bit heavy, haven't you there? All right. Major Garrett, you are a pain in the ass.

[Brady]

That's why they all have their libraries when they finish up a presence.

[John Holmberg]

Where does it go?

[Brady]

The Clinton library.

[John Holmberg]

I want the job where you go in there. How do you apply for that job? I want to be the guy who files the Epstein stuff. Sure. That's great. All right, let's get you down there. Now we're going to kill you if you say anything. Oh, I know. I'm. I'm highly aware of that. Like who still wants that gig?

[Brett]

Well, I don't think you go on. Indeed. And fill out a resume for that.

[John Holmberg]

It'd be great if you did. Wanted Epstein filer. I give a sharpie here. Our quick fingers. I can file all this stuff. So that's the real like everybody keeps looking for the conspiracy and the angle and everything else. The real one is is what group is this that is that is hiding it, that keeps it in the government's basement. And I know you'll say the government, but who? All of them.

[Brady]

But then wasn't there an outside committee?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Because the government. Government's got to be the one that releases the papers to be investigated. There's a whole underbelly of weird that we're not talking about because when they said 33, 000 pages, I thought of that poor SAP with just those weird little things on his fingers. Remember the people used to wear those paper cut.

[Brett]

Oh yeah, the little thunder looking things.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just going through files, going, I can't take it because they release it as papers. They don't release it in a computer file. They always show that here's the bill for the blah, blah, blah, and they just plop it down. And then congressmen pretend they've read it. I don't know. There's an Epstein file guy out there.

[Brett]

This guy figured out the hours it would take to read that and everything.

[John Holmberg]

That's the other thing they always say we read it. Who? Not one guy read that. Nobody's actually even read the Bible. It's too confusing and long. Nobody's read 33,000 pages.

[Brett]

This is longer than the Bible.

[John Holmberg]

So I mean, yeah, for an average adult reading for comprehension, 33,000 pages would take 1375 hours of continuous reading. Reading doesn't account for break sleep or daily activities. That would be start reading and 1375 hours later you're done. Which would extend a total time to many months or even years. The calculation is based on the following assumptions. The Average reading speed, 200, 250 words a minute. Conservative estimate of 240 words per minute is used for the calculation. Words per page, standard page, about 500 words. It would take you, you months. And they did it in three days. The news is claiming we looked through it in three days. There's nothing new here. 33, 000 pages. And maybe there's a lot of pictures. Maybe it's a pop up book. But if you plop that down in front of me and say, read this. No, you read it. I'm not doing that. If you don't read it, the Clintons will kill you. Greg has a good one. He says, you think every time Bill kills someone, he has like a cool phrase, it's time to pay your bill. I'm gonna kill this guy. I'm not gonna do it. I don't blow my hands. But I got people for that. It's gonna be great. Hillary doesn't kill as much as I do now. She's taken some time off since the losses. I won twice, tried twice, won twice. She tried twice, got blasted two times. That's hilarious. Yeah. This guy said, if you've seen. Oh yeah, I've got two people in a row saying, have you seen the movie Severance? The, the TV show? I said same things. And then Rochelle says, those people that go through the severance procedure, it must be real. It is. It's. That's what I really want to know. That's where my conspiracy brain starts spinning. Because when I see all this stuff, I'm like, all right, everybody keeps talking about who's covering it. Up, but it's covered up long before it's released. There's an entire like division of it and I want to meet one of those people. I'd be like, what do you do? I work in the operations department at the CIA. And you don't have nobody ever asked them any more questions because you know what will happen to you. And that's a good group of people. That's a group of brets times 10.

[Brett]

I don't want to know.

[John Holmberg]

They haven't. Not one of them's come out about Kennedy, about moon landings, about this. They keep it kind of quiet. Keep it. Keep us guessing. That's weird.

[Brady]

Don't put me in that mix. Nope.

[Brett]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Byron]

The choice is simple, Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact r right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have ammo ink 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[Brett]

Well, it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Byron]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or [e-mail] did you.

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[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness So, John, maybe it's a group of people on the spectrum and they tell them it's a special game to see who can make the most black lines. There's a surprise at the end. That's true. But eventually somebody has to spill, right? Somebody has to get wordy. You would think, because, you know, it's not just one dude down there. It's a team of human beings monitoring 11ft of paper.

[Brady]

Ghislaine needs some help.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They said there were naked pictures of her in this file release.

[Brett]

I will release those. You know, I'm okay with that.

[John Holmberg]

You know what that keeps?

[Brett]

It's like Playboy. I'm not reading the articles. Show me the pictures.

[John Holmberg]

It's salacious. Yeah. I'm not there for the joke. Right. Little Annie Fanny was not funny at all. Not even a little bit. The articles, occasionally you get a good interview. Like, for the most part, it was after I was done jerking on. Yeah, but you released some nudity. It's salacious. People are Enter. Ooh, there's just Lane's boobs. She's not bad. That's all we really care about. The truth is laying under that somewhat says, what would Trump's murder catch phrase be? Good one right there. You're fired. Probably. It's like, you just keep the same one from the Apprentice. I don't know. It's just.

[Brett]

He's already branded. It's good. It's a good idea to keep that.

[John Holmberg]

You know, My life changed when I met that dude who was a sovereign citizen, and he was a black ops military guy, and I didn't know what any of that meant, and I didn't believe him for years. And then finally he started to say stuff, and I'm like, that actually happened. Like, the things he was telling me started to actually happen. And I'm like, this is weird. And then I. And then he's like, you don't want to know half the stuff I know. Which is why he became a sovereign citizen. And then he told me the one time he started to look into a certain. Certain case as a sovereign citizen, he woke up in Greenland and they left him at an airport without any ID and said, find your way back and knock it off. I don't know who it was. Whatever. I'm like, you're a liar. And it happened to him again.

[Brett]

So, like, the A team, they gave him some milk, he passed out and jumped. Flew on a plane somewhere.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if it was real or not, but again, I always tell that story of the time he called me and said, hey, I can't work out this. I worked out with him. I can't work out out this week. I gotta go to Mexico for a job again. I was too stupid to understand it because he's a contractor. So I thought there was just some plumbing that went bad in Mexico. I'm like, he's going to stay busy in Mexico for years if he's a plumber. He was a contractor. And he said, we called in tanks, so that's weird. See, if anything talks about. I'll be disconnected for a few days, see if anybody talks. And that happened to be the weekend that Gabby Giffords got shot in the head. And on the scroll underneath, skirmishes on the Mexican boys with the United States. You know what? And he goes, didn't anybody report it? And I'm like, yeah, there was a scroll, but, I mean, some bigger news happened. He goes, yeah, I know. And I'm like, is that real? And he goes, he just shrugged his shoulders. And I'm like, oh, dude, I'm not talking to you anymore. This is weird. Stuff's happening, and you're kind of predicting it the day you leave. Everything feels fishy since I met him. And I don't want to be crazy, but it does feel that way.

[Brady]

I don't know if it's conspiracy or not, but the theory of that. A lot of that information is leaked or given to Hollywood before that.

[John Holmberg]

The Manchurian Candidate theory. Yeah. Is that they enter, they indoctrinate us through movies, so we're used to it when it actually happens. We've seen it before. The Manchurian Candidate was the first one where people raised their eyes and said, wait a second. Is this actually happening? Whose idea was this? This is weird. And now when it happens, you're like, oh, well, that makes sense. And we get introduced to a ton of stuff by movies. Wag the Dog was one. They've had a ton of them where it's like, when this happens, you'll. You'll have already seen it. We don't want to surprise you with it in real life. We'll give it to you in form of art first, and then. Then we're gonna do it. It's crazy, and it does sound nuts. And by the way, I'm not smart enough to ever figure it out. So keep me fat and happy and I'm fine. Don't kill me, and I'll be a worker bee all day long. Hey, I got off easy. I tell fart jokes for a living. If this is how bad it is that I have to stay quiet and not know anything. Okay. I'll go to TMZ and start caring about what the Real Housewives are doing. Keep my brain busy with that rather than look into this. But sometimes this happens and my brain says stop for a second. What's going on over here? Crazy.

[Brady]

I met. I might watch Dancing with the Stars this season.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely gonna watch that. That. That cast is amazing. Feldman alone and then he started adding in some of those hot Mormon wives cuz they're on there now too. Of course that's going to take my football and Dancing with the Stars. The Epstein files will be back in my mind tomorrow. Just.

[Brady]

I mean.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Again, you want to see something that'll make your brain hurt? Watch the documentary about the Pat Tillman story. Story and what his family had to go through just to find out how their kid died. And, and what they gave them was years of reading material with redacted lines out. And they hired a guy who again, this is where I kind of got the idea for what's going on with the Epstein file. They hired a guy who somehow got out of the system and knows what redacted lines are, why they would black this out. And they give you a little piece and he goes, okay, this clearly. And he, he deciphered the entire thing and they showed it in the documentary and it's almost all black lines. He knew exactly what those papers said. He figured it out. He could. It's like reading hieroglyphics to him. He's like, I got this. And it took him a long time because they didn't count. The government never counted on Tillman's family reading those papers. They just kept throwing it at him, drown them in paperwork. And they effing read it and then went back to.

[Brady]

And every one of those generals to stay in line. Mind like never got it.

[John Holmberg]

That's when I knew. Because when Harry Waxman and Donald Rumsfeld, enemies for their entire careers, shook hands and said, nothing we can do here. And he's like, yep, this is all locked up. We don't know how to even. And then Rumsfeld went over to Tillman's dad and said, hey, sorry, we did all we could. Untilman's dad goes, go yourself on camera. It's one of the best moments ever because they figured it out. And then they all claimed, claimed every general in the military, Rumsfeld and Waxman said our emails were down that day and they were all in different parts of the. All of their emails happen to just get lost. Oh, well, no reason to look at any further. Pound the gavel. I find it all fascinating. But tonight I will stop caring. At 5 o' clock when Al Michaels and the boring Kurt Herb Street. Is that on? Is that a Prime game? Thursday nights are usually. It might be NBC. This might be a big one. This might be the NBC game.

[Brady]

Really? They take it away from.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, cuz it's. They want big ratings. Prime is not getting those. Maybe it is a Prime game, but who cares? Whoever's voice I hear if it's Collinsworth, it's NBC. Okay, Toriko, give me whoever. All this gets washed away. It's perfect. Perfect. And the guy says, are you telling me that Marvel might be real someday? Yeah. Interplanetary wars at multi dimensions. They're coming your way. The multi dimensional stuff to me might be something they're trying to tell us.

[Brady]

Especially bringing in that quantum physics a lot.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, and notice that it started in like the 50s and 60s when movies started to tell us about aliens coming. Coming in. When it happens, we'll know. We'll be like, oh yeah, I've seen this before. There's an asteroid headed directly towards Earth. Oh yeah, yeah, that's probably gonna happen.

[Brett]

Send up a bunch of oil riggers. We'll get that handled.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. We have to send up people who aren't scientists and train them to kill an asteroid. It would be a lot easier to do that. Then we'll teach them to fly the shuttle rather than just teach astronauts how to kill an asteroid with oil rigging stuff. That's a good point. Plot.

[Brett]

Let's go. Buscemi.

[John Holmberg]

Worst plot in movie history. Who's best qualified to take care of this space rock? Probably roughnecks. Yeah, that's good. That's better than astronauts. We'll teach them to fly. We'll make them astronauts first. That'll be a lot easier than training astronauts to work a drill. Dumbest movie ever anyway. Well, good luck. If you want to read the 33,000 pages, it's available. Yeah, they're out there. It's available right now. It's Oprah transcription scripts. If you want to look, I think she was there. You know what would put an end to this? I should work for the government. And the 33,000 pages? 11,000 of them are nudes of Oprah. No one would look into it anymore. It would have been like, oh, good lord, we've got 11,000 pictures of Oprah and Gail Scissoring. So if that's available to the public, now that is be zero. Just your funniest friends would be sending those out in memes naked. Oprah. That puts an end to all of it. We've got Rosie o' DONNELL performing oral sex regularly on our. No, thanks. You want to see that? That's there. Yikes. It's horrifying. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there, Bert?

[Brett]

All right. Wake Up Song brought to you by, of course, Action Ride Shop. And that sale is still going on over there. So Josh decided to extend the Labor Day sale out for you guys. And. And he's got tons of stuff going on. I know it seems like a ways away, but ski season is going to be coming up on us. And right now, big sale going on at the Gilbert store. 20 to 50 off on items. Plus, you know, if you're not into the skiing thing, biking, man, they got used demo bike sales going on. All bikes new and used in stock on sale. Headlights, helmets, all the bike gear you're going to need at pretty much anything. Action Ride Shop is the place to be. Check out their socials because they're running all kinds of specials right now. I was telling you that full carbon Rocky Mountain Bike, 3300 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

You can't. They're clearing. They're clearing the decks over. Right. So great sales. ActionRideshop.com just got an email from a guy and he's right. He goes, I want to see those cans of Jizzies. That's just Lane. That's her nickname is Jizzy. She has nice hangers. I think so too. Just Lane's. You know, you take aside her friends and stuff. Stuff. If you met Just Lane at a bar, you know, if you're at the. If you're on some sort of a business retreat. Look at that. She's pretty good. And she's, you know, hanging around the bar at a courtyard in.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So. Oh, there she is. Naked.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's all blurred. Japanese porn.

[John Holmberg]

Is that the one that was. Just came out?

[Brett]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Brett's pulled up some nudes of jizzling. She's got a body on her. She's curvy. Like in a good way. More than I thought. Hot. Yeah. And her name is Jiz Lane. I mean, that's awesome right there. Yeah. You. You keep me interested with these naked pictures of her. Yeah. I'm going to start release those.

[Brett]

I don't care what the words are saying in those files. Come on in the pictures.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Anyway, what do you got on the.

[Brett]

All right. Deftone. Judas Priest, acdc, Allison Chains, White Stripes, the Cult, Pantera, Dying Fetus and then Terror. Keep your mouth shut for the files. Destroy everything from Hate Breed for the Epstein files. Operator. The guy reading it's got nothing left to lose.

[John Holmberg]

So tell us. Yeah.

[Brett]

And then eventually Buried Alive for the guy that's doing the files too.

[John Holmberg]

So.

[Brett]

Got both sides.

[John Holmberg]

All right, let's do Operation Later. Nothing to Lose. Such a great song.

[Brett]

And I'll pull that up.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if I have it or not. That is such a good song. The band I wanted to be awesome. That get kind of fizzled out. I was mad at him at first, but two lose. I don't have it in mind. Do you have it? I can get it right now. Gotta get that. Yeah. That band came and went. Johnny Strong. Great songs. Yeah. Yeah. Well. And everybody was mad at first because they sounded so much like. Like Chris Cornell. Yeah. Why is that bad? And at first I was a little grumpy about it. I'm like, he's doing a. He's doing an impression.

[Brady]

This.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's a good impression. And it's a great voice.

[Brett]

Keep doing it. If that's.

[John Holmberg]

That's it. That's what you got. Bring it to us. Nothing to lose for the Epstein filer. We're thinking of you, man. Somebody buy that guy a Twix. You got it ready? Knock it out. It's 98k. You P@ your Wake up song. Love this one. Hey, it's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude.

[Dale Hellstrait]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

It is Stone Temple Pilots there, Plash. And I have to do this because a guy gave me a one minute window here. Says Donovan, who emails us all the time, says all this football talk going on and I have to brag about my son. He just turned 13 on July 28th. 59168. 13 years old. Tonight is his first varsity football game and he's an eighth grader. I'm a proud papa. He's so amazing. He makes me start to think maybe I'm not completely worthless. I take him to school from 7:30 to 7:50. We're just under the wire there. Donovan. Do a shout out to Dylan for me. Thanks. Just a proud dude now. Hopefully your 13 year old boy keeps growing because my friend Mark in sixth grade was 6ft tall, probably about 150, and we thought he was going to be a behemoth. And guess what? He's six feet tall. And he put on a little weight, but never got any bigger. So take advantage of this 13 year old and get some, I don't know, illegal peptides or something, start coursing through his veins. That's a payday waiting for you right there. Congrats, Donovan. Nice job. You're not completely worthless. You might have felt that way, but you're not. Also, I like the idea that Sean Phils just sent over. He said, I bet you there's a guy in that Epstein filing division that's a, that they hired a black guy and his nickname is Redaction Jackson. And I'm like, that is, that is a great high picture. Seth Rogen writing this movie. Craig Robinson is Redaction Jackson. And they just get high all day and start talking about what he reads and all the horrible things he has to black out every day. And Seth Rogen is secretly a government agent. So then it turns into just this big caper of weed and redaction and terrible, horrible crimes.

[Brady]

Craig would be all over.

[John Holmberg]

Only Craig knows. Yeah, well, he wanted to be the Quantum Leap. Yep. When I introduced him to my idea of the Quantum Leap, which I think.

[Brady]

Bro, I'm taking that.

[John Holmberg]

For the last 30 years I've talked about the Quantum Leap leap and Dave Chappelle kind of wrecked it. And then Louis CK did a joke about it and Black Time Traveler, I, I'm pretty sure I was the first to hit the air with that was back in 1996. I actually got a talking to from Bill Pugh when I brought up the idea of the Quantum Leap on a Sunday at like 4 in the morning. And he goes, what? Nobody wants to hear you talking about nonsense. Play the songs. I was new in radio, so I was talking, talking about a black time traveler and he got real nervous because black time travelers, they don't want to travel through time. It's the worst. Even Indians. I thought of this the other day because I thought of the Quantum again. Even Indians don't want to travel through or would love to travel through time because the further back it goes, the better it is for them. Right? Yeah. I mean, other than it's never good to be a black time travel skirmish with another.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

You're going to end up with. Everybody's got every, Every culture's got a war. You're going.

[Brady]

Someone you don't want in the neighborhood.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody it's the. After the war, right? Yeah. There's. There's always going to be something where the Indians are like, oh, I went back to the, the early 1900s, late 1800s is going to be trouble. There's going to be problems. But I mean, most of the time the Indians go back. It just gets better and better and better for them as they go back in time. It's not true of the blacks and the States, for God's sake. So the Quantum Leap showed up that his. He kept having to solve mysteries and stuff and he kept going back in time and it was always bad, bad. But Craig Robinson wanted to be the Quantum Leap and I think he wants to be Redaction Jackson too. He just doesn't know it yet. My favorite joke he ever did was in a terrible movie called. I think it was Used Cars with Jeremy Piven or what was that thing called?

[Brett]

Wasn't Used Cars.

[John Holmberg]

That was Kurt Russell. It was. Anyway, it was a. Jeremy Piven ran a car lot and they did a thing where Craig Robinson was a dj. They were trying to, to have a hyped up weekend at the car sales and he's up on the roof spinning songs and his name is DJ Request. And a guy screams up to him play Ace of Bass or something like that. And he goes, you got it. And then under his breath go. He says, nobody tells DJ Request what to play. And I laughed for 10 minutes because that joke is so funny and layered. It's hilarious. It pissed him off. I love that. So Craig's going to be Redaction Jackson. Count on it. Count on it. In the meantime, Brady's going to give us all the news that only he knows. We call this the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends at All Pro shade all pro shade.com again. Wind, rain, all that stuff whipped up that dude that emailed us about the umbrella that went in his pool and he had to become. He needed that Titan submarine to go down there and try to pull that thing up. He would have been safer on the Titan submersible than he would have trying to get that umbrella out by himself. If you ever have any sort of shade product that can be moved and you forget to put it down, when the winds are whipping up in these monsoons and you have a pool, it's inevitable that the umbrella finds the pool. All Pro Shade fixed that they put those shades in, you get the delicious shade that you always wanted, and if it gets too windy or rainy, they retract themselves. You don't Even have to think about it. You can be out at dinner and have one of those surprise monsoons, and you wouldn't look at your wife or husband and say, oh, boy, we left the umbrellas up. Takes care of its own business, which is awesome. Brady has it. Told us the other day, watched them come back in on their own. That's magnificent. Stop screwing around with the old way. It's like having a horse instead of a car. Get the all Pro shades in your patio right now. AllProchade.com that's where you go. Brady reporting.

[Brady]

Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix.

[Brett]

Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brady]

Happy National Macadamia Nut Day. And then National Wildlife Here Day.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Seem more excited about one than the other. By the way, the movie was called the Goods.

[Brett]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

Damn it. It's terrible. That's a funny part, though.

[Brady]

Early 2000s. 90s.

[John Holmberg]

No, the goods was. Yeah, maybe 90s. No, it was 2009. 2009 or 10. I remember we sent Toledo to the junket and Jeremy Piven found out that the reviews sucked and then stopped doing interviews right when Toledo was supposed to do it.

[Brett]

It's a Piven movie. I mean, what do you piv.

[John Holmberg]

Broke down, though, because this was his chance coming out of Entourage to be like a leading man. And he thought everybody loved him from Entourage and they'd go rush to the theater just to watch him work. And the reviews came out like, this guy sucks. And they hated it. And that he had like a mental breakdown and ran away from the press junket. Really?

[Brett]

He was there and then.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, he didn't want to. Toledo called and he goes, well, I'm out here to do the pivot thing because they sent him out. Yeah. And my friend Colin was doing movie reviews at the time too. And he's like, yeah, this. This did not go well. This guy, he did not like. The ego hit and he ran away from us.

[Brett]

The only thing I liked him in was pcu.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, cuz he. Well, that and old school. Yeah, cuz when he plays a guy you want to punch, right? Yeah. Yeah. He was trying to be someone you liked. That's not a thing.

[Brady]

Couple of basis fun facts. McDonald's has one fewer hamburger. A businesswoman named Zoe Hamburger just left. She stepped down from her post as chief restaurant officer for the McDonald's in the UK.

[John Holmberg]

That wasn't Brett sighing. That was the whole city. Go ahead.

[Brady]

She previously worked for McDonald's in the U.S. that's disabled people.

[John Holmberg]

That's news.

[Brady]

That's a fun fact.

[John Holmberg]

No, it isn't.

[Brett]

The word fun isn't even taking his oxy.

[John Holmberg]

No. Yeah. Will you get on the oxy? Yeah. You're a lot more fun like that.

[Brady]

Disabled people in the Netherlands get money from the government up to 12 times a year to spend on prostitutes.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Brett]

That's good.

[John Holmberg]

That's to keep everybody happy because they. Because what they're saying out loud is. Is what we won't say because of political correctness. It's hard for disabled people to get laid. Right. That's essentially what the government's like. Look, they're doing what we've been saying for the longest time. Somebody blow the freaky guy so he doesn't lose it. We. We say it be like, that's terrible. Mental health is a problem. Like, they're doing it and wherever that is. What'd you say?

[Brady]

The Netherlands.

[John Holmberg]

The Netherlands?

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

If you're a little bit off, kind of disabled, they'll send over a professional blowjob for you to calm you down. 12 times a year. That's more than married guys get. If I was in the Netherlands, I just smash into a wall every once in a while and get a concussion and dopey way. Wander up to a government agent, just go, think I need a blow job.

[Brady]

They got posters up there. It says, uncle.

[John Holmberg]

Huh?

[Brady]

Uncle Huggy Bear wants you.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brady]

In the Netherlands? Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, a pimp.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He needs his pills. This is sober Brady. Whoa. Uncle Huggy Bear wants you.

[Brett]

Starsky and Hutch reference.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody get this guy a blowjob. I think he might be retarded. So they get how disabled, though? This is interesting. I want to. I want a documentary about that.

[Brady]

Yeah. What qualifies?

[John Holmberg]

How disabled before the prostitutes are, like, no know, like Stephen Hawking disabled.

[Brady]

Well, I don't think. I mean, though they still can find a prostitute.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean? Yeah. Oh, probably. I'm just saying, like, at what point.

[Brady]

Qualifies to get government money?

[John Holmberg]

Like, what's the minimum? Because I'll go, I'll do that. And yeah, like. Like the maximum is like you're just a vegetable. Like, Nathan Sutherland would have been treated as a government worker there. He was just doing the work of the Netherlands government. Like, she needed this.

[Brady]

If they get a placard, you know, or like an ID card saying, yeah, it's okay.

[John Holmberg]

I'm here for this. Well, I think it's legal there, right?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, if the government's pushing you around and you can apply for that job to be a government prostitute and do the work that even regular prostitutes don't want to do which is to go blow a cripple. Sure.

[Brady]

You could probably put yourself on the list.

[John Holmberg]

Lays it like what doctors have, that's guaranteed money. Like doctors every once in a while have to work a county hospital just to give back good prostitutes have to blow.

[Brady]

Yeah, I'm sure there's a certain level. Oh, you got a government.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the cleanliness. Pretty regulated, I bet you. Well, no, I'm not talking about that. I'm not talking about the hookers. I'm talking about the. The. The species to go in there and try to blow.

[Brady]

I'm sure a bath isn't.

[John Holmberg]

They have to give him a bath first.

[Brett]

Yeah, in a silkwood bath.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. With a hose in the front yard to scrub that r words buttigate. KUPD.

[Brett]

Hey, Byron. I was looking at mmpguns.com's website. You have everything, and the prices are incredible.

[Byron]

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys, and more. The best part is, if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[Brett]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[Byron]

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[Brett]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP guns.com.

[Ad Voice]

Why does every recipe I try need 18 ingredients, including a jar of something paste I'll never use again, but will sit in my fridge for nine.

[John Holmberg]

Nine months.

[Ad Voice]

I just want dinner in the oven fast. That's why I love Blue Apron's new One Pan, assemble and Bake meals. They send you fresh ingredients that are already chopped. All you do is put it all together and bake. That's it. No chopping, no weird leftovers. Just delicious, easy to make meals. Get 20% off your first two orders with code apron20. Terms and conditions apply. Visit blueapron.com terms for more Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

They.

[Brady]

I mean, that was what it was in when I was in Barcelona.

[John Holmberg]

You got a hooker and they scrubbed your ass. Here we go.

[Brady]

Get in the shower.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, they clean up.

[Brady]

That's what I want you to wash up, too.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Like, before we start. Let's get the shower.

[John Holmberg]

How many hookers have you been with?

[Brady]

That was the only one I didn't get in the shower. That was one. I'm sorry, I thought the one that.

[John Holmberg]

You were in Amsterdam, too.

[Brady]

No, I didn't. Only the two buddies I with ordered.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know, but you. So in Barcelona, you had another one?

[Brady]

No, that was the first. That was first and only where I went with them in Barcelona to the brothel.

[John Holmberg]

Right. I thought that was in. Didn't you do that in Amsterdam? That was in Barcelona. That was in Spain.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I thought you did that up there in Amsterdam. No, it was only the one time you've been in a brothel. Did they make you bathe to talk? Did you have to get.

[Brady]

No, I followed her down the hallway to the room. You get to the bedroom.

[John Holmberg]

At what point in that walk did you go, I need to get out of here. Here.

[Brady]

It wasn't. Well, when she answered her phone and started talking in this.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no.

[Dale Hellstrait]

When she.

[John Holmberg]

Did you pick her? Yeah. Okay.

[Brady]

So they're like, come on, you got to pick.

[John Holmberg]

You got to pick one. So you had to pick one. And then she goes, follow me.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

At that point, your hand. Did Brady Bogan down the hallway tell himself, this is awful?

[Brady]

Not there. I think when the door shut and she's like, all right, get undressed. Get over there. They. Oh, it was an open shower.

[John Holmberg]

She told you, get showered up and take your clothes off.

[Brady]

Get. Yeah, get undressed.

[John Holmberg]

This was like utilitarian. This was not like it was. Okay, yeah, get your clothes off. Let's get this over with.

[Brady]

Yeah, let's scrub you up first.

[John Holmberg]

Did she think you were a government.

[Brady]

And I started. And she was a smoker, too, which I didn't know that at the time.

[John Holmberg]

Would you have phoned her if she wasn't a smoker? She's pretty. What made you pick her up? Yeah, her looks.

[Brett]

Yeah, her hands, but.

[John Holmberg]

So at one point you were like, maybe.

[Brady]

Well, I was peer pressured to pick.

[John Holmberg]

So at that point you're like, I might as well bone this.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So you were thinking about it, the walk down the hall, Dirty Brady.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. Because if I. I mean, if I thought, oh, all right. Win in Barcelona.

[John Holmberg]

Bang a local horse. So you got to the room and she lit up a cigarette.

[Brady]

You're like, no, she never lit up a cigarette.

[John Holmberg]

I just smelled it.

[Brady]

She got on her phone, was. It sounded like she was arguing with someone on the phone.

[John Holmberg]

It was a pimp. So you had to go, no way.

[Brady]

Because she has a. Mad at the brothel.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but they still have people that they talk to that cover them up for protection.

[Brady]

A guesser yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And she's arguing with somebody.

[Brady]

Could have been a client saying.

[John Holmberg]

No, clients don't call and are. She's not answering the phone for a client unless you had already told her, this isn't going to happen.

[Brady]

No, this was before.

[Brett]

So did you have to pay even since you wasted her time?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

You paid the full.

[John Holmberg]

Full bang.

[Brady]

Yeah. Just for. Not down the hallway. The bottle fee.

[John Holmberg]

Did you stay for the whole hour with her?

[Brady]

No, I thought I. You know, I tried to communicate the best. Okay. She understood what I meant. Like, this is an apple happening.

[John Holmberg]

I have no dick. That's probably what she said.

[Brady]

And it's like, okay.

[John Holmberg]

When she was already down the hallway.

[Brady]

And figured, I'm gonna sit in this bar upstairs.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't stay in the room alone for a little while. You paid for it.

[Brady]

You had to get out of the room.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, you have to leave the room if you're not. You paid.

[Brady]

Well, I. I just felt like, no, I'm not gonna hang in the room.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Brady]

I just figured because there was the bar at the end of the. That all. Like the waiting room.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you got to stay in the room to let everybody in the bar know that you didn't just two pump it. You stayed in there for like a half hour. Right.

[Brady]

People in the bar wouldn't know that. They don't see all brothel. Yeah. I mean, because it was enough. I mean the hallway. Because you go to the separate room where the girls introduce themselves.

[John Holmberg]

Should have bound her.

[Brady]

But I figured I've been waiting on.

[John Holmberg]

My buddies and they were already at the bar. They closed us. That's what you should have have done.

[Brady]

Yeah. Couldn't.

[John Holmberg]

Do you regret it?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You should. Good. It's a good life story. Not doing it is sad. You know who doesn't regret it for sure is her. She was a little time off quick.

[Brady]

Buck 50 right there.

[John Holmberg]

It's like a buck 50 from a guy who just sat there and went, you smell like 50 bucks.

[Brady]

Whatever. How do you got to split it with the house?

[John Holmberg]

You're going to get cancer of the ovaries, whore. Step aside, Marlboro.

[Brady]

Maybe she did curse me.

[John Holmberg]

She probably hated.

[Brady]

No way. I was.

[John Holmberg]

No, you gave her an hour off. Yeah, you were perfect. You paid. She didn't have to open up for your sweaty, gross body. She didn't have to touch you and pretend it was fun. I've seen you lift your shirt up. That's. You don't want to get. You don't want to get that the first.

[Brady]

Give him the Shower.

[John Holmberg]

Did you even start to shower? You started to take your shoes off. No, I'm not doing this.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

How far did you get? Yeah, you took your shoes off.

[Brady]

Going to happen.

[John Holmberg]

Were you at least a little aroused? No. Did you make out or hug or anything? No. Just sat with your shoes off and said, I don't want to be with you, Demetri.

[Brady]

Standing.

[John Holmberg]

You kicked him off? Kicked him off.

[Brady]

And like, ah, I'm going for the sauce. You know what?

[John Holmberg]

What? You're gross.

[Brady]

And I can't. You know, there was one thing that did it and like, I just can't do this.

[John Holmberg]

I love this. What? Just the smell or just a click?

[Brady]

That. That was one of the things in the phone conversation.

[John Holmberg]

And then you're conscious. Brady, what are we doing here?

[Brady]

Definitely a factor.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus. Watching was a factor?

[Brady]

I think so, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You think?

[Brady]

No, I know that that played into it a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Bit. Brady, you should her I gave you this gift.

[Brady]

God, I already gave her 150.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Did you ask for some of it back?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Good move. Strong. Anyway, that's Brady's good.

[Brady]

Loser. And walked out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just with your head hung low. That's a weird one. Congratulations. You got a hooker story, though.

[Brady]

Good story.

[John Holmberg]

Sad, but it's. It's a story.

[Brady]

Limping on purpose was a popular Trend in the mid-1800s in the UK. The Princess of Wales had a rheumatic fever. Rheumatic fever. And it gave her a limp. And because she was such a huge fashion icon and trendsetter, her. The other women started limping too.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's an influencer.

[Brady]

After President James Garfield was shot in an assassination attempt.

[John Holmberg]

What's this?

[Brady]

Then he couldn't hold down food, so for the last month of his life, the doctors fed him through a rectal cavity.

[John Holmberg]

They fed him in his ass?

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Boy, they made a lot of mistakes.

[Brady]

Because it didn't really work.

[John Holmberg]

No. Well, Garfield didn't die from the bullet. He died from the infection from people digging around in it at the train station. He got shot. Shot in. To this day, the coolest thing ever said when you get shot.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Watch this.

[John Holmberg]

He's plunked in the back. And then their hands were so dirty trying to help him that the hole got infected and he ended up dying of the infection. Oh, man, I didn't know they fed him through his ass.

[Brady]

He didn't finish the speech there. That wasn't.

[John Holmberg]

No. Roosevelt got shot and finished the speech. Garfield just screamed, what's this? And then. Then dropped to the ground. And he was like and they he was tough guy in it out. But then people tried to pull the bullet out with their fingers. They were dirty.

[Brady]

A new survey found that one in eight Americans are overthinkers and that the average second. The average person second guesses 41% of their daily decisions.

[John Holmberg]

We're designed to do it it fear rules the day.

[Brady]

They say we make about 50 decisions in a day. Which is roughly 1.5 million choices made in a lifetime.

[John Holmberg]

This somebody just emailed and said please someone make the sounds of Brady giving it to a Barcelona spunk sponge.

[Brady]

Take that, sponge.

[John Holmberg]

Sponge. She didn't speak English. You could have called her anything you wanted. Roll over, spunk sponge. Sponge. Sponge is a pretty good band name.

[Brady]

Someone shared a list of medieval health tips that sound like Tik Tok hacks. One of them is vinegar. A vinegar mask. Mask for glowing skin. You mix vinegar, flour and oil, rub it all over your face. Supposed to give you a your skin to glow. Basically the original juice cleanse. An ancient year long detox plan had people downing different herb infused drinks each month featured a different herb things like cinnamon sage and ginger. Ginger to cure your ills. This one, a barley water. This one was actually it pops up on TikTok sometimes. You basically just boil a bunch of barley, strain the water and drink. A text from over a thousand years ago claimed it helped with digestion.

[John Holmberg]

Huh. I'm sure some of that stuff very real still, that's what RFK wants us.

[Brady]

To get back to dead vultures as a cure all. First you got to catch a vulture.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Well, if it's dead, that's easy.

[Brady]

Then they say a special prayer while you decapitate it. People claim that the vulture's skull bones would prevent migraines. Their eyeballs could help sore eyes.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta eat them. Or just cut its head off and kind of hold it.

[Brady]

Capitate it. Yeah, but it sounds like it says their eyeballs could help with sore eyes.

[John Holmberg]

You're eating?

[Brady]

I think so.

[John Holmberg]

You can't just hold the head.

[Brady]

You could induce labor by tying their feathers to a woman's legs. Okay, goat poop is the last one. It's a health hack from the 11th century to dissolve dung and water, filter out the chunks and drink up. Supposed to help with chest pain.

[John Holmberg]

This one says. Hey Noseberg, ask Brady what was the spread at the bar that made him bail on the Barcelona. Didn't even have a buffet. No buffet.

[Brady]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No, no.

[Brady]

There's no food that I knew of.

[John Holmberg]

Well, and if there was. Yeah, exactly.

[Brady]

I would have Smelled something.

[John Holmberg]

We were smelling the hooker. Too much sugar.

[Brady]

A 65 year old name. 65 year old man in Florida named Daniel Kennel tried to cut in line at a Publix grocery store. But the couple ahead of him declined the offer. Daniel tried putting his stuff on the checkout belt. Anyway. There's an argument that ensued. He got upset, left his cart, stormed out of the store. And then the couple checked out. And as they're leaving the store there he was. There he was with his bug spray and sprayed him in the face.

[John Holmberg]

Who's a exterminator or something?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. So he took it right out of the truck. Like a Truly Nolan guy went nuts.

[Brett]

And a raid and.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Down.

[John Holmberg]

That would be awful.

[Brady]

One of the victims was hospitalized. But it sounded. Sounds like they're both okay.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady]

About this. There's a story making the rounds about the man in Oregon who won the Publishers Clearinghouse sweepstakes back in 2012. Which pays him 5000 a week forever. Sounds great. Technically they paid him 260k per year this year. Check never came and never will past April. Publishers Clearinghouse filed for bankruptcy.

[John Holmberg]

They don't owe him any more money.

[Brady]

10 former winners or of the Forever Prizes will no longer get payments. But at least some of them got some free money throughout the years. But.

[John Holmberg]

But there's no one to sue.

[Brady]

How about the guy but the guy's that went for the lump sum?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They got it.

[Brett]

They got all their money.

[John Holmberg]

How about the guys though that said I'll take the lifetime payments and then went into their bosses and just threw fingers at him. You know what you. I never want to talk to you again. You pile of. I don't care. This is the only place that I'm qualified to work in the entire country. I don't need money anymore. You're a piece of Never see you again. This point is then you have to go back. Sorry about all that. I won the Publisher's Clearinghouse. But they're gone now.

[Brady]

And this is your forever money. So the guy went out and bought a house.

[John Holmberg]

Right. And told his boss that now that's cut. Got a house. Well.

[Brady]

And so he's having trouble to pay on. On the house now that that money.

[John Holmberg]

He's got no money coming in. Right. So he just sell the house. That's fine. It's trying to get a new job now. It's going to be tough.

[Brady]

This is just another reason John not to get on and scroll on their phone when you're going to the bathroom. New study found that People who take their phone to the bathroom are 46% more likely to have hemorrhoids.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my. You say that like I struggle with it.

[Brady]

I thought you said you scroll a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I scroll on the can. Yeah.

[Brady]

I've had like, don't do it for a long time.

[John Holmberg]

Three hemorrhoids my whole life. One was possible to avoid them. Yeah, No, I don't think it was because scrolling. Because it was way before phones. When I popped the first one on my mom's carpet. Oh, it did.

[Brett]

Were you like a dog just scooting across?

[John Holmberg]

No, I didn't know what it was. I thought I had a zit on my anus and it hurt. And I reached back there, kept playing with it. I pulled my pants down. It was the middle of the night. I was watching TV and I pulled my pants down a little bit. I was. I was laying on the floor and I'm squeezing it. I'm like, oh, this thing's killing me. It's a huge zit. And I popped it and it just erupted all over her white carpet.

[Brett]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Mom scream like a baby. And I'm down there scrubbing, making the carpet pink with. And I'm dumb. So I didn't even get like goods. I got like dish soap and water.

[Brady]

Last story, we got the 46 year old employee wearing an inflatable dog costume outside of a floor a puppy store. Allegedly strangled a bike riding juvenile who had a beef going on. I guess the kid was riding by on his bike taunting. The guy's name's Rodney Plathy. He works at Sunshine Puppies in Clearwater, Florida. Was outside the business Friday evening in his inflatable puppy costume. And the owner came out front because the kids were going by on the bike. Kid stopped and that's where Rodney came up from behind him and put him a chokehold. The problem is Rodney is a registered sex offender.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brady]

And as a couple other arrests under his belt. That's not good, you know, and who hire that guy, put him in a puppy again.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I said about that church guy with the voice van. Two rape accusations and a murder accusation. And the church was like, we believe in second chances. He took the van out, started raping. Of course he did. Second chances for rape porn, child porn, stuff like, no.

[Brady]

Rodney's going back in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The only reason people do that whole second chance for rapes and murder murderers is to pat themselves on the back. I'm a good person. I took someone no one wanted. There's a reason no one Wanted them. You don't take in a guy who used to rape. He used to have a little problem with some rape, but I got over that. Can I borrow your van? No, you can't ever borrow a van again. That's part of the rules. All right, you got it?

[Brady]

I have one radio video. I sent it to.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady]

This is. I know you like watching the air disasters.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I love.

[Brady]

This is flight 961.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. In Ethiopia. This is off the coast.

[Brady]

Didn't realize how much a plane would. You know, it makes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it explodes. Half the people. Sully did an amazing job. Well, this plane, they couldn't keep straight. It was out of gas. This is the one that was hijacked?

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

And they're flying along and the dude told them to go there to a. To a certain place and they were over the ocean. He's like, we're gonna run out of gas if we try to go where they are. So let's fool them. And. And we're flying over the ocean and try to keep it close. And he knew they were getting close to a. And people on the beach just filmed this. They were like tourists. And this plane, he tried 25, 125. It coasted in and yeah, some people made it. And you know how they. A lot of them died. They tell you that we're going to make a water landing and to put that thing around your neck, the inflatable thing. Don't inflate it. They say till we're. Till the plane's officially crashed. Cuz if you do the. When the water gets in the plane, it's gonna. You're not getting to the top. You're gonna drown you in the plane. You're not getting out. Yeah, well, yeah, you. Well, you have to get out of the plane.

[Brady]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[John Holmberg]

Cuz otherwise it's just going to push you to the top. When the water gets in, if you're just swimming along, it's different. That is.

[Brady]

It looks like that plane splits open.

[John Holmberg]

It does, maybe. No, cuz the engine hits and then it spins it and then it just blows up. It's an amazing story. The pilots actually did an incredible job keeping some of that alive. You haven't ever seen that?

[Brady]

No.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Oh, I haven't seen that.

[John Holmberg]

Google. That whole story is amazing. Was it Air Egypt?

[Brady]

Ethiopia.

[John Holmberg]

Ethiopia was Ethiopia Air. They've got planes. Yeah. Was that racist or is that just what everybody did? I think what everybody's thinking.

[Brady]

A967.

[John Holmberg]

Do they serve meals on Ethiopia? Air. That would be no meals. Huh? Did they just drop meals onto the people down below? That's what. Maybe it's some sort of bigotry that I feel, but Ethiopia air? It seems like they got other fish to fry rather than tourism. I have to worry about an airport in Ethiopia before. Let's just get everything buttoned up here before we build a Runway.

[Brady]

It's funny. I. I scroll on that. See that?

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady]

It's a basing. I go two more, and it's Singapore air and it's this luxury cabin.

[John Holmberg]

Glorious. The new planes are amazing. It's getting hard to fly anywhere, though, because you gotta sit in a regular chair and then seeing all the bar and the shower. The Emirates has showers, bedroom and a tv. A refrigerator. All right, Brett, what do you got?

[Brett]

I'll just start out with just this.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy. Okay, there's a. Oh, my God, those calipers. Oil change. You can call that thing a speculum or a. It's open to woman's bottom, and you can see way into her butt.

[Brady]

Does that look like it's just.

[John Holmberg]

It's dancing around in there pretty good. Whatever's going on inside of her. What is that?

[Brett]

I don't know.

[Brady]

It's her and.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she has a humongous fake stuff in there. God. And then she's enjoying it. Like she's having a nice sexual experience with. Well, her anus tries really hard to close up, but she's got that. Yeah, it's not opener there. Like, people get open heart surgery and they crack you and hold them. Ugh.

[Brett]

All right, we'll change gears a little bit. Here's some. There's some bull fighting for you.

[John Holmberg]

It's a bull with clothes or something on its horns. Oh, is it picking up a fella? Oh, it's got a guy on its horns and his. He's out cold and nobody's helping. Oh, his pants have come off. Bulls are great at taking guys pants off.

[Brady]

Oh, he's just.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, right.

[Brady]

He's got it. He's got it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Oh, I agree, lady. Oh, my God. Oh, that horn went right into the. Oh, yeah, but we watched it. We watched it actually pick him up. Oh, my Lord. That's the worst bull one I've seen. That was awful. Worse. Here's a big fat lady getting on a trampoline. She's huge. Oh, she's trying to do the trampoline a little. Oh, she's lifting up her big fat belly.

[Brady]

There's not really a payoff.

[John Holmberg]

It's just. It's just a fat lady.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Gigantic.

[John Holmberg]

Look at that. Oh, God, she's so fast.

[Brady]

Is that real?

[John Holmberg]

It's out there, Brad. She's on that trampoline in her apartment. Who bought her a trampoline?

[Brady]

That's real. That tramp's hardly bowen.

[John Holmberg]

That's brand new. Tight springs, man. You want a tight spring trampoline?

[Brett]

How about some candle action?

[John Holmberg]

All right, There's a guy with his penis over some candles, and he's folded up his testicles over the top of his wiener. As he hovers above six candles, he's putting them all out with a scrotum. Oh.

[Brady]

I thought he was doing like, the Mr. Joshua from.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Big Gary Bu. Szel. Oh, it makes a little sizzle every time it hits it. Oh, he put all six. That's pretty good. All six candles are out. America has talent, for sure. And now he's dipping it in the hot wax. Oh, God. Oh, he's getting the hot wax all over the tip of this thing. I don't even want to. Oh, man. And then what is going on out there?

[Brett]

I don't know. And then this one will just end here.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, there's a girl. She's attractive. She's in a. Two really fun toys. Got a naked guy on the ground. He's blindfolded already. There's a little blood. He's got his penis in some sort of a vice. Hands away.

[Brady]

Oh, maybe that was just.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's just hitting them in the balls while they're. They're in, like, a rack. Oh, God, please. It cuts the Steve rough. Oh, my God. She just keeps taking a baseball bat with a little foam. Yeah, it's got to end. That's got to end. Make it stop. Oh. Oh, she. Lord, he's smiling. This guy's taking a beating. I can't watch this anymore. No, that's horrible. Okay? I don't want to meet anybody. Like, last night, I was that. The videos have changed me. As I'm at Native Grill and people are coming up, wanting to shake hands. And, like, all of Brett's videos flash before my eyes. I'm like, he could be one of them. Just fist bump the supplier. You meet normal people, and you're like, hi, how are you? My name's Pamela Anderson. Hi, Pamela Anderson. How are you? And then my brain goes, oh, the thing she might be doing. Let go of her hand. Go wash. Go wash. Gosh.

[Brady]

Holds up the calipers.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's got the. I bought this next door at the JCPenney. They sell those there. Wow. All right. Well, there you go. There you go. That's your Brady Report. It's 98 KUPD. It's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fees. I've heard enough of this.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here.

[Brady]

Here.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. And before we get into this letter that was just given, I just went through quickly and there's some things in there. It's just the extra. But Brady's Reddit and there's a nice offer and I'd like to ask a few questions. First question emailer asked Brady, what would you be more ashamed of if your invisible friend watched you squeeze it out in front of a fish tank? Or if you actually followed through and had sex with the $150 hooker?

[Dale Hellstrait]

What?

[Brady]

I struggle with more.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The invisible friends is seeing you doing hooker. You think?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Wow. And that's because. Both bad in the eyes of your.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's kind of. Well, it was legal there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You weren't breaking any laws.

[Brady]

Law. But. And I wasn't married.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Right. He hates that. It was.

[Brady]

Well, it would be worse if you were married.

[John Holmberg]

Well, sure, but he hates. Well, not to her, though. Like, what you're saying is you weren't married to her. It was out of marriage sex.

[Brady]

No, but I'm saying it wasn't in a relationship.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's. Yeah, that's. That's going down two bad lanes.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then of course, the. The dirty thoughts thing and the. The grubby gross sex.

[Brady]

Yeah. I guess the fact that you're paying for. But you know.

[John Holmberg]

But you're still just. Now you're whacking off, watching other people do it or thinking about other people do it. It's pretty much the same thing.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

In the eyes. If you're invisible, as this guy said. Interesting. An interesting idea. Something this guy emailed in and said. You're talking about the Epstein thing. The government makes anyone associated with the redaction stuff signed 50 year non disclosure agree agreements. They're punishable by life in prison or death for treason. It's the same thing employees at Area 51 have to sign. How do you know that? And also, wouldn't somebody spill the beans? Eventually you would think, here's the real.

[Brady]

Some of those guys already starting to talk a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, none of the people who actually worked there Are. It's just a bunch of people who talk to somebody who worked there. Like, here's the thing that makes me kind of leave the conspiracy stuff. Everybody would have to be on board, which is nearly impossible to get people to be without one leak. Also, maybe, just maybe there's nothing there. There's nothing to tell. Yeah, there is no. There is no there, there. The Kennedy thing that my conspiracy is, it was Lee Harvey and he acted alone. And people are like, I can't take it. I can't. That's not.

[Dale Hellstrait]

And I.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm like, there might have been some stuff that led up to it that was a little crooked, but this dude took it upon himself to finish the job. Very, very capable possibility. And we want it to be so much more. So we start adding things in that don't make sense or do make sense. And there's no real evidence of it, but there's thoughts and speculation. Same thing maybe with the Epstein's. Maybe there is literally nothing there and we have it in our heads there has to be something there and there isn't.

[Brady]

Maybe, maybe, or you haven't found the right person. There was only a few people that maybe not traded with the assassination that you're talking about.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, look, I mean, there was a lot of people that would have seen or heard something and. And come out later. Maybe, just maybe, it was one guy. The Epstein thing. 33,000 pages of several visitors and all this other. Nothing's coming from it. Maybe we've blown it up in our own heads.

[Brett]

I've gotten to the point where I don't care.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Because I don't care. Because you're never going to know. Right.

[Brett]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

There's a certain, like, aspect of just accepting that it's never going to be told to you. They're like, ask. Screw it. What am I wasting my time with this for? And by the way, if something does come from that, that's huge. It's going to screw with all of us. I can't fix.

[Brady]

Cleansing will happen.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I can't fix it.

[Brady]

Of the people that were in power.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe not. I can't fix it. I can't start it. I can't stop it. I have no access to this. So everybody's screaming at each other. Us screaming at each other is all part of the design of, you know, power to make us go crazy over topics that can't be solved. We don't have access to figure it out. We never will. If Kennedy's any lesson to us, we can Sit and scream into the wind all we want. Never gonna know. They're never gonna tell you. Yeah. Ever. And by the way, Brady, one full. I'm 24 hours in. Brett, you. I don't know if you've had any water. I see you drinking tons of water over there. Oh, yeah. I give up. You've already broken your. Your promise to Brady to give up.

[Brett]

That's my confidence level.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You did not. You did not follow through on giving something up for Brady. Cuz Brett chose to give up water. And he literally had said, I'm throwing it away. Literally has two waters in front of it. There's no.

[Brett]

There's no Tito in this building, so I couldn't.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, there is. Where? My office.

[Brett]

I'm going to get it.

[John Holmberg]

All right, you go guzzle the Tito. I will. And replace the water like you said.

[Dale Hellstrait]

All right.

[Brett]

I'm going right.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Now, I, on the other hand, am drinking nothing but water. Now, I. I will drink other stuff, but I've given up my soda pop addiction. And one day later, it's. It's. My brain's like, hey, man, remember what we used to love to do together? It wants it, but I'm feeling all right. I'm doing okay. No caffeine. 24 hours. No.

[Brett]

I'm going to get that bottle.

[John Holmberg]

No. Delicious. Delicious. Coke Zero or Dr. Pepper. Zero. All because we. Brady has to give up food in order to survive. Like the food you love so much, you know, it's kind of not gonna be fun. So in some sort of a sympathy strike, we're doing it with him. And a lot of people are emailing in. A guy emailed in and said that 24. He was the one who drank 4 liters of Coke a day to dry and had energy drinks and all that.

[Brady]

Two bowls of chips.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And he's like, I know. That was a different guy.

[Brady]

Oh, that was a different guy.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. This dude's a driver. Four liters of coke. Coke. A couple of energy shots. He's like, I gave it up, and already I'm feeling like garbage. And Lace got. You got a detox. And it's also sweet. Brady can live. And Brady's not on the oxy this morning. He's weaning himself off of it. He actually drove today. Right?

[Brady]

I did.

[John Holmberg]

Are you supposed to do that? Did I just spill the beans to a doctor? They tell you these things. You do know that they give you instructions.

[Brady]

Yeah, I'm good to go.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no. What did the doctor say? Say don't drive for a few days.

[Brady]

No, no, because I asked him. I mean, the last thing I asked him about, you know, going to work.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady]

When I was leaving the hospital.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady]

And he's like. I go, what about, like on Tuesday? Like, you're not lifting. You're basically standing or sitting and talking.

[John Holmberg]

For it if you didn't, like, exert.

[Brady]

And I said, what about driving again? That's up to you.

[John Holmberg]

You know, there's no way. He said, that's up to you. He said, there's no way. The doctor said, that's up to you.

[Brady]

If you're doing the. If you're doing the oxy or anything like that. No driving.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No driving.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

While you're on drugs and take it easy. They don't want you driving with that split down the center of your gut either. They told you not to drive.

[Brady]

I'll confirm it on the 8th.

[John Holmberg]

They told you. So he's got to drive until the end, regardless. Just knock it off with what you wanted to hear and actually listen to the people. I guarantee he told them not to drive. I'm all for you driving, but there's no way. The doctor said, yeah, get out there. Tool around, speed. There's no way a doctor with any. Any good doctor is going to tell a guy.

[Brady]

One yesterday, Kapoor saying, you know, get out there. You know, start getting more active.

[John Holmberg]

Right. That's not driving. They don't want you. I guarantee a doctor's probably like, maybe just lay off that. You've been through a lot. Your brain fog's probably still, I can tell. Your brain fog, no lifting for sure.

[Brady]

You know, for like.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Yeah.

[Brady]

Four weeks.

[John Holmberg]

You know better than that. But, like, you know, one day off the oxy and you're back out there. Now I understand. I would do the same thing.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because there's probably, you know, 10% of the population is on something illegal and 70% is on something legal, and they're all driving. So you're a day removed from your oxy. You're not supposed to be driving.

[Brett]

Well, maybe. Maybe Ronnie drives like Megan.

[Dale Hellstrait]

No, I.

[John Holmberg]

Look, I'm all for not riding with a wife.

[Brady]

No comment.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she can't drive. I guarantee you she can't. I saw a thing on Instagram yesterday where a donkey backed a cart into a spot between two cars and it said, it's official. Women are in third place driving now. Donkey parallel parked is. It was perfect. I'm not riding ever again. Ever again. Give me the keys. Give me the keys. So I understand why you drove. But don't lie to us like that. The doctor told you not to drive for time. A long little while. You didn't hear it.

[Brady]

You don't ask, you know, if they don't tell you. Yeah, I don't want you to do that.

[John Holmberg]

He did, though. And you just passed it off. Yeah. I was in the room with you when you started to tell me what the doctor said. And you said that your numbers needed to get lower, which would have resulted in your death if that were true. You just didn't hear it right. Like, nope, those numbers don't need to get lower. If those get lower, you die. Nope. Doc said. Frank goes, no, he's right, because that was your percentage of kidneys. You were excited.

[Brady]

No, I needed that. I need that to go higher.

[John Holmberg]

We know in the beginning you told Frank and I that went down for that. So we need that number to go low, lower. Nope, you don't.

[Brady]

I reversed around.

[John Holmberg]

I gave you the excuse that you were in a brain fog because it was a day after that. But you said, the doctor said that you're a day removed from your surgery. You shouldn't be driving. Driving. You are winking a nod. I got your back. You shouldn't.

[Brady]

Eight days after, I should be able to.

[John Holmberg]

I know. They told me six weeks off work after my surgery, and I'm like, you're out of your minds. I'm going back two days from now. Like, that's fine. But for legal reasons, we as doctors have to tell you not to do anything like that. Because if you do, you can't come back and sue us. If your gut splits open from hitting that steering wheel, stopping too fast, they'd tell you, we told you not to drive. There's no way with that gash you have in the center of your belly that they're like, yeah, we're totally comfortable with you bumping into stuff. And, yeah, it's great. And you're on.

[Brady]

That's gonna happen. Even if I was a passenger. If you got an.

[John Holmberg]

Not necessarily. There's no steering wheel in front of you, and you're. Yeah, you're riding around. You're right. That's why I'm fine with you doing it. But I'm saying no, doctor. I'm telling you, I'm on your team. But no doctor told you. Yeah, get out there and drive. Would you go over to that. What do they call Bondurant now? Let's get him out in a speed racing. Let's get out there to Radford and get you In a car. Nobody told you to drive.

[Brady]

No one told me not to drive.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, they did. You just didn't listen to them. Take it easy is a big thing. Probably no driving. I want to get out there doing all that. You're on drugs. They wanted to get up, so it.

[Brett]

Was rose colored glasses again.

[John Holmberg]

This guy says, I do lines of hydrocodone mixed with Xanax and I drive towards work. Pussy. Yeah. And Brady Nicholas puts it perfect. He says, a medical professional has never looked at you in any way, shape or form and said, well, whatever you do next is up to you. You decide that's not what doctors would do looking at you after that surgery.

[Brady]

And it certainly feels that way.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because you made it feel that way. That's you. We've. We've heard what you say doctors say, and you're very rarely saying the correct thing. Remember the diet change changes. Don't have to change a thing. Except for line two where it said, except if you've got kidney failure, then you're in big trouble and you got to change pretty much all of it. You argued about it because you heard no. You also don't know the difference between low sodium diet and your less than sodium diet. When the doctor told you you need to cut the sodium back, it wasn't from what you're eating. It's from what the standard amount of sodium would be, which is less than a teaspoon. Every day you have to cut back from that, not from your current situation. That's the pain of it. But what did you hear? Just a little less salt. Wash it down with some water. No, that's not low sodium. Did you ever see how much sodium we're supposed to eat in a day? And I know there's an argument that sodium is really good for a healthy body, but for an unhealthy body, it's. It's not. The amount of sodium we're supposed to eat every day is so small. It's just a tiny bit of a teaspoon. And they want you to cut back from that.

[Brady]

And after the operation, which is funny, is they're loading you with saying, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They level saline is different. Yeah, that's different. Yeah.

[Brady]

But I go. It's interesting because it's the iodized sodium too. That's the.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there's a whole bunch of different white flour. You get into the specific ways that sodium works out. It's brutal. This guy just dropped this off this morning. I know Brady's read it. I want to. To read it to all of you. It says dear Brady, my Name's Henry. I'm 54 years old. I don't smoke, I don't use drugs. Throws in what he is Irish, English, Scottish. Like he's a setter. Also something very important to your situation. I am typo negative. RH negative. Do you know what that is, Brady? Do you know what that means? It means that no anti rejection medicine would be necessary. When I give you my kids me and I want to help you live. But if I do this, your life will change. And so will mine. He writes just like you. Same handwriting. Terrible. This is what I want. And it's non negotiable. You're being held. You're this guy's. He's holding his kidney hostage. I want one 2026 Chevy Silverado. Basic model. What? Don't care what color. Two $25,000 cash or check. 3. 5% of your business every month while you and I are alive. So ransom note he's holding? Yeah, he's got it. Like Brady's got to say yes.

[Brett]

Cutouts from magazines with the letters 4KUPD.

[John Holmberg]

Swag and tickets every once in a while.

[Brett]

How we do that?

[John Holmberg]

This is a serious offer. It says there is no question his blood is universal to anyone. There are no non rejections. Think about this and think fast. This will be this offer is going to it rescinds after a certain time.

[Brett]

This message will self destructive.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. If you choose to accept once compatible by doctors. Poof.

[Brady]

Proof.

[John Holmberg]

P o o o F. I think that's in our proof. 30 days till surgery. Let me know if I die on that table. I will have to set up my family. So everything's up front.

[Brady]

I need to set up my family.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's from Henry. And he wrote this this morning. He dated at 9425 Brady. Would you like to buy this man a Chevy silverado? Give him $25,000 and 5% of your business dealings every month. Along with a few tickets from KUPD for his unrejectable kidney. Which by the way tells me he's been to the doctor a few times to see if he can give this kidney away.

[Brett]

Do you think he's pulled the scam a few times, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He wants the stuff up front. Would you like to tell Henry what all of us are thinking? Hard pass. That's not what I was thinking. I was thinking either, but yeah, hard passes. That's Brady's for go yourself, Henry.

[Brett]

That's what I was saying.

[John Holmberg]

It's sort of a nice offer. Until he starts with the hostage demands. Hamas is like, geez, that's. You guys are really horrible about the demands there. If you want to give your kidney to Brady out of the kindness of your heart, you can't nail him for an $80,000 truck. 25 grand in cash, and 5% of what Brady makes. Makes. Would you rather do that or just go on dialysis for a while and wait for somebody nice to come along?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think so too. Here's how this works, Henry. You give Brady your non rejectable kidney and then afterwards start leaning on him a little bit about the car. Well, I did give you a kidney. Brady's nice enough that he'll be like, you're right. All right, let's go get you a Silverado and you can negotiate it down from a 2026. Brady will probably kick in on a 2023. He doesn't want to go full new prices, but he'd wander over there to Sanderson Ford and talk you out of the Silverado and into something he can get you into for a deal. Those F150s are nice. So you're not going to get exactly what you want, but you still get a new car, which is part of the game. 25 grand. After you drive the Silverado for a while. While. Having some trouble making ends meet, Brady. Oh, yeah, that's rough, Henry. Sure could use a little help. You know how I helped you? I gave you life. How much do you need? 25k. I'll give you 10. Deal. You'll get him. You're doing this all wrong. You blackmail him after you give him the kidney.

[Brett]

Rookie moves.

[John Holmberg]

Big time rookie moves. If you're gonna hold a dying man hostage for organs, you gotta do it smarter than this. Henry. This was just one rude.

[Brett]

But then on the flip side, Brady, just like, go after yourself.

[John Holmberg]

I already got it. Exactly. And then what? You got Henry chasing you around with a knife, trying to get his kidney back. Then he goes to jail and Brady's free and clear You. Henry. This is the bad idea. This was poorly handled. And by the way, next time, don't scrawl it out on a me paper. And now I know why teachers used to get so mad when you just tore the thing out of the spiral notebook and handed it in with the fringe, who still has spiral.

[Brady]

I'm not sure about the no smoking thing either either.

[John Holmberg]

It smells a little smoky to you?

[Brady]

It did when it first came in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you can peel off the little fringy parts of this from the spiral notebook.

[Brady]

He was doing it Just before.

[John Holmberg]

No, he did it in the car.

[Brady]

A little rushed.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because he's a psychopath. I'm gonna go down there and do this right now. Type the letter out. Spell check. Don't make us read through your chicken scratch to hold Brady like ransom and blackmail him with a kidney. By the way, I work in medicine. This guy says you'll always need anti rejection medicine. The guy's wrong. So you're even lying. You didn't even do your research before you started to hold this guy hostage. So hard pass or Brett. What did he say? I can't believe. What was it again? Henry, go F yourself. Yeah, that's right. Thanks, but no thanks.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Douche.

[Brett]

He feels bad.

[John Holmberg]

That's why I'm doing it. Brady actually feels bad. You don't feel bad about this? This guy didn't make a nice offer.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, so you can call him a douche. Henry, you douche. You might be being hilarious. I find it very funny, but still a huge douche move. I want to do something out of the kindness of my heart for you, Brady. But first I want a truck. 25k and 5% of all your earnings. And maybe some Lincoln park tickets. Saturday. Go on. Are you. Jesus?

[Brett]

Sounds like Liam Neeson taken or something. Jesus.

[John Holmberg]

I'm coming for you, Brady. And I want to give you my kidney. But first, what you're going to do is give me some things. $25,000American. 12026 Chevy Silverado. Any color of your choice.

[Brady]

Base.

[John Holmberg]

What a great thing. He gave him that. I just want the base model. Don't go out of your way and pick the color yourself.

[Brett]

At least he didn't want Denali or something. I mean, I guess you lucked out.

[John Holmberg]

I want a 2026 Chevy Silverado, fully loaded. Puke bronze. Yeah, why don't you get a custom paint job?

[Brady]

Color didn't matter.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what I mean. That's. Get a custom paint job on this thing.

[Brett]

Wheels, tires, a stereo.

[John Holmberg]

On that. What are you. Why are you pulling back on that? Your offer's unreal. It's ridiculous. You come in hot there, Henry. Nobody's interested in that. People try to be nice. This one says I have the same blood and RH factors as Henry. And all I wanted was to play in Brady's foursome. Next Heat Stroke Open, if you guys ever have one. Would you like Dean's offer? He'll give you a kidney if you give him.

[Brady]

Sounds pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

Re Round of golf. Yeah, Take it.

[Brett]

Because we're never going to have One of those again.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. And you get Henry. Look how hard you overshot this. What? Is Jerry Jones your agent? I think we blew it here. I think MACA needs less. I don't. I don't think we should offer him any money at all. Green Bay's like, we'll give you all of that for whatever. I don't know what Jerry's talking about. Maca wanted a 20, 26 Chevy Silverado, and I said, forget it. That's too rich for my blood. Anyway. Sorry you have to deal with these kind of things, Brady. These terrible, sideways, crooked backroom deals. Thanks. And you don't know him from Adam. He might have been a crackhead. He writes like a crackhead. And he sits in parking lots and scrolls out kidney ransomware.

[Brett]

Has a ME notebook still.

[John Holmberg]

He's still got a ME notebook he uses for communication, not just for his random death thoughts. And he'll fire back. Hey, I was being nice. I'm like, were you? What part was nice? The part where you strip Brady and his family 5% of their income, or the truck, or the 25 grand with your magic. Jesus. Kidneys. They do not ever get rejected by magic kidneys. If that were true, wouldn't people with his blood type and whatever RH is be like, top of the line for the kidney donation people? And they'd be getting paid all the time, like you. You make it so we never have to have rejection. That's not true. There's rejections all the time. Make a second offer, Henry. So John, is Henry's last name Berg or Stein? No, that's not unnecessary. And we already know why Brady would reject that kidney anyway. It's 902. If you want to donate a kidney to Brady, do it with kindness. And then later, hold it over his head, crying out loud, what are you doing? You're functioning right now. You're fine for a little while longer. You don't need this crap from people. You're going through enough.

[Brady]

Not right now.

[John Holmberg]

No. Not right now. No. Ever. You never need that 25k out of your pocket to survive. That's just rude. That's like seeing a guy just got hit by a car. I'll give you mouth to mouth. But if I do this, here's what's going to happen. Happen, you live. You give me ten grand, I get a brand new Pivot bike from Action Ride Shop and maybe, you know, a couple tickets from your office. You also get nudes of your wife. I want nudes of your wife. I'm not going to blow into your mouth until 8. Not affirmatively. Give me a thumbs up. Do something. I can't move my legs and arms. Tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm not gonna move you around, but I'm gonna give you a cool wheelchair like Stephen Hawking had. But if I do this, that's rude.

[Brady]

So let me understand. 10 head of cattle.

[John Holmberg]

I get to live with you for eight months. Just eight months. That's not very long when you think about it like a gestation period. I have to stay in your house from January all the way through August up till Labor Day. I get to use your toilet. Even if you're on it. You gotta give it up to me. If I have to pee and you're going to, you have to move for me. That's my toilet while I live there.

[Brady]

Pay for your EOS fitness for five years.

[John Holmberg]

Third, I get to. I get my feet rubbed by you, the wife and the kid every day. Every day, out of the kindness of my heart. I want you to live. But these are my standards. Every night I need you to tuck me in. And really, when you're tucking me in, I need you to kind of just put your face over my balls like an Ohio State doctor and just breathe on it.

[Brady]

Check.

[John Holmberg]

What's the matter with you? Just say what a guy said. Brady, you can't have my. Kidding me? I'm too scared. It's horrifying. If it came down to it and I was the only one, I'd give it to you. Or if ever if it started to look like you were on a deathbed. Nah, even then I think I just let you go. I can't do that, cuz I can't imagine how bad I'd feel if you started to abuse it or if you just dropped that after be like, oh, I want my kid. Do I get that back? It's like putting cans in abroad. And then she divorces you a month later. It's like, well, I got to get some money back for that, right? I'll get all up D. Maybe that's what I would do. I would give you a kidney. If you put in your will, like a bunch of money for me, you know, the first five years. So if you last longer than five years, then it's for the good. But if you check out early or start doing dumb stuff or he gets hit by an asteroid, I should get something for the effort. You know, you give a guy a kidney and it lasts like, it's like your wedding thing. You're not given a gift until you show that it can last for seven months or more. Right? Same thing with the kidney. You shouldn't get a kidney until I get something up front for that. Not like Henry.

[Brett]

How about a little for the effort here?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, give me something that kind of, you know, balances this out. Wow, this guy's on top of it. Toledo didn't check to see if his mom's a kidney donor. You sons of bitches. They're all just sons of bitches. Dale Hellstraight's gonna join us because guess what, Everybody, everybody, it's football talk. And we can talk to him about real stuff now. We'd have to listen to him drone on about country music anymore. Dale joins us next on football Thursday. It's 98. It's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this. You PD Converg's morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. Can you please, Dale. Hell, I'd be fine. Dale. Dale, look. Hella Straits here. Three time super bowl champion from way back in the day with the miserable Dallas Cowboys, host of the main event. Main event with Steve McCollum, your fellow Dobsonite Mustang.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Tell me to give you a hug.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Don't do that.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I won't.

[John Holmberg]

And then of course also co host, one of the lesser known people on a podcast that has just begun. Gun. It's getting its training wheels. You know, it's called the sports thing or that sports thing. Doesn't really have a name yet.

[Dale Hellstrait]

No name. But. But we've had a lot of people offer up names.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, plenty of them.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrait]

But you guys tell me Beauty and Dale. You, you, you, you tell, you tell me this. So. So John originally was just going to.

[John Holmberg]

Be like a guest, but no, this is not what.

[Dale Hellstrait]

He was going to be a guest. How about if I just be a guest?

[John Holmberg]

I don't.

[Dale Hellstrait]

And now he takes over the whole damn show.

[John Holmberg]

Because I saw where she was going. Now here's the thing. You and Dave Nash, the other guy on the podcast. Yes. Had a show at KD West.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Just knocked it out of the park.

[John Holmberg]

If the park. Yes, if by the park you mean the two lines you put a car in. It was terrible.

[Dale Hellstrait]

It. It was the best rated show KD US has ever had.

[John Holmberg]

Smartest R word in the room.

[Dale Hellstrait]

It doesn't Matter.

[John Holmberg]

Congratulations. You won a gold medal in the special award list. Best show on kdos.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

That's your ever. That's your calling card.

[Dale Hellstrait]

You let me be fired.

[John Holmberg]

You put that on your resume. Okay.

[Brett]

You let him be fired?

[John Holmberg]

Well, I wanted. I wanted him fired the whole time. But finally it happened on his own volition. He did it to himself. And if it was such a great show, they wouldn't have let you go.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Well, the way it's run, sometimes it's their fault.

[John Holmberg]

Typical bitterness. I see. So I originally was just kind of to pop in and kind of help you. Yeah. And then I saw this thing was a complete tragedy. It needed guidance that needed help. So I'm like, you know what? And I went and talked to Tripp, and I said, look, I don't want to get involved in this thing and start stealing money from, like, make it look like if I've got advertisers that I brought over that I took money from, like, what do we do about this? And he goes, yeah, go ahead. Do your thing. Is it any good? And I'm like, it is now. And it is. Is. It's actually pretty good.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I. I have to ask this too, John, because I got here, and obviously Toledo's not here, so he's usually who comes down, opens the door for me. So he gives me Brett's number. So I, I. Is it Brett?

[John Holmberg]

Bert? Okay, put it in your phone number.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I texted. I said, I'm parking now. He goes, I'll be down when we're done.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrait]

And so I turned on kpd. Like, he's already done. All he does is breathe in the microphone, please.

[John Holmberg]

Sorry. So you want him to leap up and go get you? On the off chance during the break, Brett could have been formulating the greatest joke or story of all time and waiting for us to get through it. And he's like, no, the timing's not right. He might be a tactician of words. You don't know.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I do know, because I've now known him enough and know you guys enough. He goes, my people.

[Brett]

That's how you sound every day.

[Dale Hellstrait]

That's his contribution.

[Brady]

My people.

[Dale Hellstrait]

My people.

[John Holmberg]

He's not wrong. Dale kind of nailed that one. That's the best Dale impression I've ever heard. Yeah, that's pretty good. But when he. But he does it with meticulous timing. He hits the my people right when it's necessary. Like, we'll be talking. Be like, my people. Like, I went, brad, he just has his barbs, you know, He's Throwing jabs.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Were your people involved in jfk?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, come on.

[Brett]

I don't know about that.

[John Holmberg]

Of course they were. But, yeah. Bottom line is, it's the sports thing. It'll be on our Instagram and all that stuff. You can pick it up in a podcast. Only been, what, three or four episodes of that thing, and so far, so good.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I think it's going all right.

[John Holmberg]

Well, last week, we. And you just showed us a picture. Now listen to this. This is good NFL info. This is great, actually, especially for Cowboy fans. I mean, football is on everybody's mind right now.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Correct.

[John Holmberg]

Last night at the. The Wings Native Grill. Oh, I. I just said to the crowd, I'm like, let's get out of here. Football starts tomorrow. And that's all. And the whole room just went, yeah. And I'm like, whoa. That was a visceral reaction to just saying football's tomorrow without, like, having any of this about football. So Dale played for the Cowboys, obviously, and triumphantly played for a team that was very good. So you got a couple of trophies out of that. Yeah, Right. You got three of them. You were there for, what, eight years?

[Dale Hellstrait]

Eleven years.

[John Holmberg]

Eleven years. Okay. And then you also played for the Bills.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Bills for five.

[John Holmberg]

Ravens.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Ravens for three games.

[John Holmberg]

And. And we were terrible with the Ravens. We've gone over that. And the Raiders for a little bit.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I've never played a regular season game. I was on their injured list.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. So you ir'd with the Raven or the Raiders at the end. You're on the couch. The Ravens need a long snapper. They call you up. You. You.

[Dale Hellstrait]

And I. I'd been on the couch.

[John Holmberg]

You hump that football all over the field. Screwed up for a couple of games.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Games.

[John Holmberg]

And they boot you. Three terrible games with the Ravens, or two out of the three were terrible. A luxurious, beautiful career with the Cowboys. Were very few mistakes. Three trophies. You were an integral part of the locker room friends. Still very good friends with Troy Aikman, Michael Irvin. Like, you were in the mix with the triplets.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Which was a tight little knit group there of guys who were. You know, they talk about those three having, like, a real unified feeling.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Well, there.

[John Holmberg]

There.

[Dale Hellstrait]

There was a push to be called the quad.

[Brett]

Quadruplets.

[John Holmberg]

No, there is not.

[Dale Hellstrait]

There was no.

[John Holmberg]

There's a push to be called the Siamese twin or the. The dingleberry or hemorrhoid of the triplets, but you are in the mix of this.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

All that said, the Cowboys don't. The season starting tonight, technically, and the Ravens sent you merchandise with your number on it.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Correct?

[John Holmberg]

70.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And a thank you for being part of the franchise at any point at all.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Ever.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Even a bad part.

[John Holmberg]

Even. Even. Even the crappiest memory the Ravens have probably. You got a hat that said if you're watching in the sun. Here you go. If you're watching in the snow, they give you a ski cat.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And a nice little letter with your number on it.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All embroidered and, and personalized.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Just for being a part of their team. Paid by them once for three games.

[Brett]

They hook you up.

[John Holmberg]

Cowboys with the highest 11 years. The. The. The highest value valued franchise in the world.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Sent you what?

[Dale Hellstrait]

They. They sent us an email that said that we can get 10% off $500 tickets. We want to come see a game.

[John Holmberg]

You're good for being an alumnus. 10% off the five of the Dallas Cowboys game. And that's the tickets they're offering you.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Which aren't high end.

[Dale Hellstrait]

No.

[Brett]

They're no middle suites or nothing. I mean, you're not sweet.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Are you kidding me?

[John Holmberg]

$500 ticket at. AT&T Stadium is upper level.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yeah. It's at least mid level.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh yeah. You're third. And because there. Yeah. Things huge. Like where most stadiums end, there's another.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Bank on this. You've been inside Dallas's stadium. It's mind bogglingly large.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I'm gonna add on to this real quick. So a year ago, Jimmy got inducted into the ring of honor. Jim Johnson. Yeah, we all got emails and I thought maybe it was just me, so I checked with the J Nova checks with the John Geese with the Mark Stepnowski, some of the super, Daryl Johnson, Johnston. We got an email stating you are cordially invited by Jerry Jones and Gene Jones to the ring of honor ceremony for Jimmy Johnson.

[John Holmberg]

Nice.

[Dale Hellstrait]

You get one ticket to the ceremony.

[John Holmberg]

Just you.

[Dale Hellstrait]

One ticket to the ceremony. And one standing room only ticket. 1.

[John Holmberg]

So you could have just stood in the back somewhere.

[Dale Hellstrait]

No.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Dale Hellstrait]

To the game. One standing room only.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I mean.

[Dale Hellstrait]

So they want us to stand on the. The fifth deck with all the other schlops. Are you serious? So I texted, I mean, I contacted, I said, is it only me who got this? And you know, we all got that.

[John Holmberg]

And so that tells me something deep down inside you kind of know your value. Like for a little while you thought to yourself, this is only me because I wasn't that important.

[Dale Hellstrait]

No, I. I don't put myself Troy Michael Amit at all. But I put Myself, Geek Stepnos. No way.

[John Holmberg]

They still are ahead of you.

[Dale Hellstrait]

No, they're not.

[John Holmberg]

You're level five, please. Yeah, they're Brady's kidneys. You're the one. Yeah, exactly.

[Dale Hellstrait]

They get a chair anyway to finish the story. So word starts spreading. Nobody's going.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrait]

And so they start calling. People go, well, are you coming? It's like, no, If I can't bring my wife or my girlfriend, I'm not gonna go freaking stand for four hours in the stadium to watch the damn game that I don't really care about anyway. And so on the Thursday before the Sunday game or whatever was Saturday game, Cherries made one more ticket available to you for Jimmy's for half price and one extra standing room only ticket.

[John Holmberg]

And you know what a Cowboys fan would say right now? You pricks made it so Micah Parsons had to go. You drained him just enough.

[Dale Hellstrait]

He's.

[John Holmberg]

I can't pay another dollar because I gave Dale Hellister, his wife a ticket to that. Well, it looks like Mike is a packer.

[Dale Hellstrait]

A standing room only ticket. Can you.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks to you, Frank Clark is a cowboy and draft picks are all they can shoot for his rookie contract.

[Brett]

So did you go?

[Dale Hellstrait]

No, nobody went. But then you found there were people there.

[John Holmberg]

You found Troy and Michael were there. Right.

[Dale Hellstrait]

You found out, really, the only people that Jimmy and Jerry wanted there were. I don't think Troy was there. Well, yeah, he was. Troy, Michael and Emmett were there with Charles sailing. And so. Hey, give. Yippee, yippee, yippee.

[John Holmberg]

We're gonna talk football. Yeah, we gotta talk football. I'll get to that. We gotta take a break here.

[Dale Hellstrait]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Before we go listen to this. You're gonna like this. I'm gonna leave this break with these words from our blind listener, Sean Rockefeller. He listens carefully. He's very blind. Said listening to the sports thing podcast. Let me tell you this. Dave Nash on that podcast makes me want to commit murder. The victim was. Would be Dave Nash. What is he so mad about? Says, I can't believe I'm saying this, but Hellistry is sharp, composed, articulate, and well thought out. He's professional by comparison. That's right to Dave Nash, which again, it's like saying we had good ratings on KD being a professional next to Nash, the third member, you're kind of even. It's the same as Stepnoski and you. It's like it's interchangeable. 4 and 5.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I was the best at what I did. He was the best at what I did.

[John Holmberg]

I am the Aikman of the podcast. And you are somewhere what you like. You get standing room only on the podcast.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I think you're the Neil o'.

[John Holmberg]

Donnell. No, I know. Super bowl legend.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You should be so happy on that. All right, we'll take a break. We're gonna talk football for real with Dale. Cause it's here tonight. We get it going and Dale's here as a sort of expert, I guess, in football. He was on the field for a while. He. He smelled Troy. You've seen Troy Aikman naked and he seemin. Well, that's not important. One of those things is memorable.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

The other is scarring. We'll leave it to them. It's 98 KUPD's morning sickness. 98 K U PD Holmberg's morning sickness down on. No, it's brilliant. Don't do it. Don't do it. That's glorious.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Come on, John and snails.

[John Holmberg]

That's a 20 year old. It's a classic from 20. Who's that? Trent Reznor, Nine Inch Nails and Dale. I golfed with Dale over the break and we pulled up on a house at the course and there was country music blaring in the backyard and he got real excited and I'm like, oh, can't imagine the troll that's in that backyard. Sure enough, within seconds, this gigantic woman in a wheelchair goes rolling over and starts. And I'm like, exactly. You didn't see hey, Dale. Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrait]

You didn't see the five' eleven blonde?

[John Holmberg]

There wasn't one. I would have seen that. No, no. I would have seen her hostage. Dale. I did not. It's Tyler. Let's stop talking about stupid stuff. I know that's hard for you to do. Very excited that football is back. Did you say goodbye to your wife? Because you're not going to talk to her for probably about 20 weeks.

[Dale Hellstrait]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Dale Hellstrait]

When I used to announce games, I would be gone for 20.

[John Holmberg]

You don't leave. But mentally you're checked out. You don't have any interest in her stories for a while. You got stuff. I don't have interest in her stories. At least he's honest.

[Dale Hellstrait]

What about you?

[John Holmberg]

Well, you got a feign interest in the off season. Now you can just go bab. They're talking about the Steelers on NFL Network. That's it. Steelers are on all day at my house starting today.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Are they really?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. I, I the, the app. A bunch of podcasts that guys and I don't listen to podcasts, but podcasts. Steeler stuff. I'm on it.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Do you do preseason or. Yeah, preseason.

[John Holmberg]

I watch every classification, like.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Well, like, what do you think they're going to go? Well, what do you think they're going to do this year? Oh, yeah, seven.

[John Holmberg]

Do I watch those guys or do I think you. Oh, I think they're. I think they're better than they were last year. Same exact results as last year. 10 or 11 wins if they stay healthy. That's huge. That's everybody.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Everybody.

[John Holmberg]

10 or 11 wins bounced out in the first round.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Again, do you think Aaron Rodgers can have a decent season?

[John Holmberg]

They're a bet he's a better quarterback than what they've had. Okay, so automatically if he stays healthy. Healthy just on the pure talent alone, not necessarily his age or anything else, they will have as good or better season than they had with Kenny Pickett, Duck, Hodges, the mess with Russell last year who came and went as good and then bad. I mean, they were 10 and three last year when Russell got solved and they had. He just turned into Russell Wilson.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Then who's their running back?

[John Holmberg]

Well, they got three. Jalen Warren is the guy who's been their backup for years and he's now their one. But they also got Kenneth Gainwell from the Eagles. Eagles. And then this Johnson kid from Iowa is their rookie draft because they're real high on him. Okay, so they got a good. They get. They get players everywhere. You got Metcalf, Cap, dk, Calvin, Austin. We're in good shape and you could use it better, too, but we're in good shape. Defense is going to be strong, but again, health is the key. 11 wins is my state word signed. He's playing. He's got a year left on his deal.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I know he does.

[John Holmberg]

They kind of held him out. Like, you're not pulling this. They'll pay him during the year somehow, or they've already made a promise for after. But they're good. Defense is good. Okay, we're all good.

[Dale Hellstrait]

So you're saying 10 or 11.

[John Holmberg]

10 or 11 wins. That's what they do every year. 10 or 11 wins, barring injury. Healthy team bounced out in the first round, probably by the Bills. Again, like everything in the AFC to me, looks like it's all the same as last year, save for maybe the bungles win one more game and sneak in because that's all they needed last year.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Well, and at some point point, Kansas City's gonna. They're gonna regress and I'm not so sure it's this year.

[John Holmberg]

This is their last hurrah.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I think so.

[John Holmberg]

This is it. Like, you can see the age on the way the wheels are worn.

[Dale Hellstrait]

And it's interesting because obviously they've been dominant. They remind me a little bit of our 90s run in Dallas. The fact that, I mean, we were better, but we won three out of four. Yeah. And made that championship gain the year we didn't win the Super Bowl. But what the extra playoff games and the high intensity. It just takes a toll.

[John Holmberg]

Even a long snapper, or as you would call the Brett of the operation who didn't do much even, still got tired. That's you. Here's a fun fact about the Chiefs. They've been in the AFC championship game every year since 2016. Think about that. That's how many extra games they've played since 2016. They've made it to the AFC, at least the AFC Championship.

[Dale Hellstrait]

That's why Mahomes drafted.

[John Holmberg]

No. Yeah, that was. That was the year he got picked and I think. Was it Alex Smith took him in. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrait]

It's crazy. That's crazy. That's a lot of extra high intensity.

[John Holmberg]

A lot of games. Yes. Yeah. So then you start getting to that. You realize, oh, my homes has been here for nine years. Kelsey's on his last legs.

[Dale Hellstrait]

And here's one other thing people don't really pay attention to. But your offseason starts at least a month later than every other team.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrait]

And so you take a month off of your off season for eight years, nine years.

[John Holmberg]

Is it true, though? And I think you, Brett and Brady would answer this better than Dale. The Chiefs might be unlike the Patriots and Cowboys and even the Steelers to a certain degree. Chiefs might be the most palatable dynasty that's ever done this. You're not mad? I would agree with.

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody.

[Brett]

I don't think anybody hates.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody hates the Chiefs except for maybe Raiders, Broncos. But what do they got to watch? They're miserable people.

[Dale Hellstrait]

You mean people hated the Cowboys?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Dale.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Puke festival of how much people hated that Cowboys. Absolutely. And then you get into the Patriots, and obviously there was so much hate towards them. It's ridiculous. Yes. And then, you know, the Steelers in the 70s were so dominant and there were beating teams that were good that fan bases started to hate each other.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

So that kind of created it because.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Like, I remember when Golden State became good and they were cute and everybody loved them, and then it got really right.

[John Holmberg]

Then we got to know Draymond Green.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

They were like, oh, I hate him.

[Dale Hellstrait]

But even still, to sleep and Whatever.

[John Holmberg]

But they're still. They were so good. You hate them, but you didn't like, hate the Warriors. You just know that they're probably going to kick you.

[Dale Hellstrait]

You're telling me there's different levels?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. The Cowboys would come and they were so good. You're probably going to get beat by them. And then they're gonna talk about it. You guys were dicks across the board. The Patriots just flat cheated, broke the law, did anything else and looked at you like, what are you gonna do about it? And then they'd raise their rings that you're like, you guys are dicks too. The Chiefs are just kind of like, yeah, adorable. And they stayed that way.

[Brett]

Cowboy hate or Patriots hate more?

[John Holmberg]

That's fairly even. That's pretty even.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I mean, the 90s were so long ago. At least the Patriots are more recent.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I hate the Patriots a ton. Ton.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I hate the Cowboys a ton, too.

[Dale Hellstrait]

How about your boy Belichick and his.

[John Holmberg]

That was pretty nice. Most points he's ever given up.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Did you see his girlfriend was on the sideline right before.

[John Holmberg]

Was she calling place?

[Brady]

I thought that was during the.

[John Holmberg]

She had the headset on, so all by design.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Calling cow herd. I listened to every once in a while. He said the Bill Belichick 2000 would fire the Bill Belichick today.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, absolutely. That would have been a one game outing. Yeah, I totally agree. That was bad. Anyway, let's get right to it. Dale, tell Brett how his Bears are going to do as a professional football player. How will the Bears and Caleb Williams do?

[Dale Hellstrait]

Well, I. I'm just curious. What. Have you checked with his people? See what colors fingernails are going to be on?

[Brett]

It still remains to be seen.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yes, I think that has a lot to do with.

[Brett]

As a former player, lucky colors.

[John Holmberg]

Let me ask you this. If Troy Aikman was in the locker room painting his nails before a game, what would have happened?

[Dale Hellstrait]

No.

[John Holmberg]

No, wouldn't have happened.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Oh, no, it would not have happened.

[John Holmberg]

Too gay.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yeah, I don't. I don't know if he does it. Whatever. No, that's not. That's not happening.

[John Holmberg]

Question made him nervous, but let's be honest. It's too gay.

[Dale Hellstrait]

His ass would be ripped.

[John Holmberg]

That's what he's hoping for. That's kind of his dream.

[Dale Hellstrait]

You know what I'm saying? Verbally, orally, and maybe even maybe a little physically. No, you're not paying your freaking fingernails. So you would have you.

[John Holmberg]

That would have been put a. A stop.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Oh, yeah. Heartbeat.

[John Holmberg]

What if it was like Deion Sanders. Yeah. A little different.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Well, it's a little different because. Yeah, because he has more flamboyant. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Jerry Jones let him do whatever he wanted.

[Dale Hellstrait]

He would yell and scream.

[John Holmberg]

So you think, what's the record for the Bears at the end of the year?

[Dale Hellstrait]

I think they're going to be improved. I think he has a chance to be good again.

[Brett]

New coach, which was needed regardless.

[John Holmberg]

Playoffs. No playoffs.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Well, that division.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's tough.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yeah. I think everybody's counting out Minnesota. I think Minnesota is going to be pretty. The people that I've talked to, like this JJ kid. They say real deal.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrait]

And then you got Green Bay, who's probably going to be a playoff team, and then Detroit, I mean, they're the.

[John Holmberg]

Worst in that four. The Bears.

[Dale Hellstrait]

The Bears, yes.

[John Holmberg]

So they don't make the plan.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I could see them win seven or eight games.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty good. Seven or eight games. All right. What about Brady's crappy bungle?

[Dale Hellstrait]

So you pick them over the Browns, huh?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yeah. Because you live close.

[Brady]

It's been pretty good the past.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's been better than being a Browns fan. I mean, wallowing in feces is better than being a Browns. That's true. I don't know how people do it.

[Dale Hellstrait]

It's so interesting because you brought it up. They were a game away from winning it last year from getting in, and now they. Hendrick had Hendrickson's back. They got their playmakers offensive. If I'm looking at that division, I'm thinking that Cincinnati has a decent chance to challenge Baltimore to win that. To win that division. And I could see them both double digit wins. And again I could see the three teams, Bengals, Ravens, Steelers, all coming down. I see three playoff teams in that division.

[John Holmberg]

10, 10 and 10. One.

[Dale Hellstrait]

The Ravens going to have 11.

[John Holmberg]

Ravens probably end up with 12 or 13. Their schedule's brutal.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I don't think they're get to 13.

[John Holmberg]

You don't think so? Their schedule is evil. And then the Bengals show up and they'll. They'll have to score 50 points a game to win. And the Steelers are right there. I agree. And then of course, your cruddy Cowboys. Well, do they make the playoffs after this Micah Parsons thing? Everybody's saying they're out. They were. They were super bowl contenders a second ago because their offense was so powerful. And now people are like, oh, they might win six games.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I don't think he's worth that. That much.

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't either.

[Dale Hellstrait]

And obviously he can rush the passer. But when you look at it, 12 sacks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrait]

That's what he had last year. He has 12 sacks.

[John Holmberg]

But he was disruptive the entire season and caused some turnovers.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Except for the four games he missed.

[John Holmberg]

Well, maybe 12 sacks with four games.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Missed is huge stack a game.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrait]

That's worth $27 million. You get paid 47, you get $2 million of sack.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Oh, crazy. That's insane.

[Dale Hellstrait]

As an offensive lineman, you give up a sack a game, you're gone. You're gone.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Dale, it's time for you to shine. Super Bowl February, who's in it? And put your money on this hundred dollars. Dale has to make this bet on fanduel.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I'm not. I'm not so sure. Well, I think that when you look at the nfc, I think Philadelphia. Philadelphia is the best team.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Unless something happens to Barkley.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Saquon gets hurt. Right.

[Dale Hellstrait]

And obviously, every team you talk about, if an injury like that happens.

[John Holmberg]

And it will.

[Dale Hellstrait]

It will.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I think Philadelphia is the best team in the nfc, and I think it's come down to Buffalo and Kansas City one more year. I think Kansas has got one more year, one more run in them.

[John Holmberg]

The only bad thing about this football season to me, is there's not going to be any new teams that kind of rise up. The old guard is in place. But here's the thing.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Every year, you can count on two things happening in the NFL. First of all, there'd be six to seven head coaching changes every year.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Dale Hellstrait]

And there's going to be two to three to four new playoff teams every year. And the whole thing is, who are those new teams?

[John Holmberg]

I don't see two or three this year. So maybe one on each conference have.

[Brady]

Been mentioned about Detroit.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I think. I think Detroit's being overlooked because people forget 11 players on their defense were out.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

They're all back.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And new coaches. New coaches are tough.

[Dale Hellstrait]

And that's what I'm saying, because we saw. I felt that in Dallas to where after he won the first Super Bowl. Juan. Stat. The defense coordinator leaves and we won the second Super Bowl. North Turner leaves and. And they take assistance with them.

[John Holmberg]

And then coaches leave. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the coaching thing's big, but I still think Detroit's going to make it. I hate to say this. Oh, I might puke.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Detroit. Pittsburgh.

[John Holmberg]

No, that would be awesome. Win again. I don't want this to happen. It's the worst super bowl ever. Detroit. Buffalo. Actually, the worst super bowl ever is Detroit. Baltimore. But I think Detroit, Buffalo are in this year. I do. I think Buffalo finally has to eventually climb that hill. Right?

[Dale Hellstrait]

That's what you think. But at the same time, it's like. I think you and I have talked about. Talked about it. I don't think the Valley can have nice things in sports.

[John Holmberg]

You're right.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I promise you something's gonna happen to the Cardinals this year.

[Brady]

Do you think this would be the last hurrah for Buffalo?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, this is it.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They gotta. It's over after this one. If they don't. If they do it again or whatever. And.

[Dale Hellstrait]

And again. When you look at Buffalo, it's like. I still. I still give them credit. I think it's harder to get to four Super Bowls and lose than it is to win three Super Bowls.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I do believe so.

[John Holmberg]

I think it's harder to get there. It's easier to lose them. You can lose a Super bowl real easily. They showed it.

[Dale Hellstrait]

But to get back four straight resilient idiots, that's all.

[John Holmberg]

They'll win this one. They're going to beat the Lions this year. Oh, Bills are the Super Bowls.

[Dale Hellstrait]

That's your pick.

[John Holmberg]

I'm putting it in my phone right now. We got to take a break. Dale says Eagles, Bills.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good one. I'd watch that.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Eagles, Bills, Chiefs, all three of them.

[John Holmberg]

Are going to play in the.

[Brett]

You got to pick one. You got to put your 100 bucks down.

[John Holmberg]

Wins Eagles, Bills or Chiefs, who's the champ?

[Dale Hellstrait]

I think the Bills overcome.

[John Holmberg]

Bills are the Super Bowls. We both think the Bills will take it all. We're going to be made fools. If one thing's true about this showing, bet against it. We'll do the entertainment drill coming up next. It's 98. It's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Nice guy, though.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Oh, don't talk over the music, John. Rule number one in radio.

[John Holmberg]

We'll get to that in a second. I accidentally played a song. Dale was talking about getting booed as a cowboy and I got half heart. I had to leave the room. We're just. Just about out of here with this. But. But, yeah. Super bowl is interesting. Brady, who do you think is going to win it?

[Dale Hellstrait]

Ohio State?

[Brady]

No, I. I'm with you as far as Detroit. Buffalo.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think that's a good pick.

[Brett]

I'm with Dale actually on this one.

[John Holmberg]

Eagles, Bills, everybody's got Buffalo in there, guaranteed.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Oh, I.

[John Holmberg]

We just Buffalo into the ground picks that you can guarantee it. My pick last year was the Ravens and Cowboys.

[Dale Hellstrait]

You picked the Cowboys last year because.

[John Holmberg]

We had a thing. It's like what would be the most nightmarish Super Bowl.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

For me. And it was Ravens, Cowboys. I'm like, that's actually a pretty good possibility. That happens. Thank God not even half of it happened.

[Dale Hellstrait]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Ugh. Yeah. I don't know that I'd watch that. And Brady, you chose the Chargers and I forget who you're. It might have been Detroit. Yeah. It's unlocked, watchable Detroit. Nobody cares if Detroit wins or loses. That's the thing. There's no hate.

[Brady]

Just the Michigan factor.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. You hate the double Michigan. Yeah. What was yours? The Packers. And that was.

[Brett]

Maybe the packers thought, oh, yeah, it was the Chiefs.

[John Holmberg]

Either way, none of us had the packers in after all those moves. Oh, football's gonna start in about eight hours. This is awesome.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Let's go Cowboys.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Let's go, John.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Give me a Jimmy. Can you do a Jimmy Johnson?

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't do Jimmy Johnson.

[Dale Hellstrait]

You don't? How about just give me one. How about them Cowboys?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man, come on now. You know what? After the show, I'll take you to a gay bar. They scream it all the time. Things he loves to hear. I think there is one called how about them cowboys? And then you get served by a dude in chaps and no pants. His name's Troy. He's a pass and the bar.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Hobbs. Dale.

[John Holmberg]

Dale is behind the bar for sure. He's a bar back. He's always bent over picking things up. Yep. Yeah, real people do the serving. It's time for the entertainment. Drill is brought to you by our [e-mail] the Home Tactical Black self defense training. You want to get out there and defend yourself from the world which is out there every single day and so are you. So you might as well be aware of it and know if you've got skills and how to hone them. They will do that day one. And the price is unbelievable. It's personal training. It'll get you in shape. You'll look good, you'll feel good, you'll be smarter, you'll be stronger and just more aware and best of all, more confident. That's the best part. Bad guys don't pick on confident people. They look for victims. Don't make yourself one. Be a sheepdog, not a sheep. Reactdefense.com the home of tactical Black Brady and Dale. Entertain me.

[Brady]

Coleman Domingo plays Michael Jackson's father Joe in the new biopic Michael. And he's been claiming that Michael's kids Paris and Prince have been supportive, but Paris is denying that hard. He said no.

[John Holmberg]

Doesn't want that to be a thing.

[Brady]

Yeah. The narrative is being controlled and there's a lot of inaccuracy and there's a lot of just full blown lies.

[John Holmberg]

Still gonna watch.

[Brett]

They all have that.

[Brady]

24Th theaters.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, next year.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I mean, you make a movie of Holberg's life. How many people are lying about him?

[John Holmberg]

None.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Popular is how much they like him.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. It would be non stop. Last night at the neighborhood of. My God. The line around the block of Praise.

[Dale Hellstrait]

This the one that used to be Tony Roma's.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, that's a different one. That's down. That's in Mesa. Yeah, that's. No, this was up the road away. Okay, but I'm like, please, everybody sit down. Let me talk. And the applause was so loud.

[Brett]

I'm just like letting you have a receiving line outside.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, well, it was weird because they all got on their knees like they were taking communion. I'm like, you don't have to do this. But I really appreciate it. It was amazing. And then. And they had something like they would throw holy water on other people and go away. With Dale away, I'm like, I understand.

[Dale Hellstrait]

He struts into Moon Valley and you know, he thinks everybody knows him.

[John Holmberg]

They do. I didn't say a word. Are you kidding? The whole staff was like, told them.

[Dale Hellstrait]

They listen on Thursdays from 9 to.

[John Holmberg]

They listen their whole lives.

[Brady]

Dale's got a great story.

[John Holmberg]

All right, go ahead. Dale. You're an idiot. What did he do?

[Dale Hellstrait]

He gives me these idiot stories.

[John Holmberg]

It's a good story.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Morgan Wallen says there are some days he hates making records.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Cuz he makes country music. He's not wrong.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Some days.

[John Holmberg]

That'S sexy. Later. It's your golf course.

[Brady]

You're going to burn on that.

[John Holmberg]

Quick wheeling around listening to this.

[Dale Hellstrait]

You also were looking over a fence and you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Dale Hellstrait]

You basically said, I don't care how old she is.

[John Holmberg]

When I told her I would dump her in the pool.

[Dale Hellstrait]

No, no, no. The. When the girl.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we b. We all froze. There was a girl in her bikini that got up on like the third hole and started to walk around with all like.

[Dale Hellstrait]

And John's like, I don't care how old.

[John Holmberg]

I did not say that. Oh. Because we were debating whether she was 18 or 30. Yeah. Not. You make it seem like if she was 4, I'd have hop the wall.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Well, clear it up like that.

[John Holmberg]

A four. Well, she looked like that at four. We changed the laws, that's for sure.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Morgan Wallen just got honest about the music industry and how he struggles at times. He was asked if he enjoys making records. Records. Just like anything else. There are days where I think I hate it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Just because it's hard. And some days it happens like it's.

[Brett]

Supposed to and it shows the Alphabet for him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. He's a country.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, no. See, that's where he sits. He lies in wait and he nails you. That's what we wait for. From Brett. That's gold.

[Dale Hellstrait]

He said, I can't imagine all that. Limelight is good for anyone. I, I, it's not. I mean, I, it's sucks. Everyone knows. And in the video, looks like Morgan might be on his way to go hunting.

[John Holmberg]

That's not limelight. That's lime and calcium buildup.

[Brady]

CDs and vinyl albums will be exempt from President Trump's tariffs because they're considered information materials.

[John Holmberg]

Ah.

[Brady]

Also cover publications, films, photographs, posters, and a few other things.

[John Holmberg]

I could change that with one stroke of the pen. Brady, by the way. And I'm not going to get on this bandwagon because it's late in the show. The Trump death hoax that happened over the weekend. Everybody thought he was dead and stuff. And he came back and said he's healthier than ever. He doesn't look good. Like, I think he's on some medical condition. Super puffy. Like, his eyes are. Like, something's not right.

[Brady]

I thought there's something going on with his legs.

[John Holmberg]

Well, his veins. He's got that thing. But they said, they kept saying, oh, he's clear. He looks, you know, he's fine. He's perfect health. He's just got this little vein thing. But he's on medicine. Medicine. He's getting that moon face from something.

[Brady]

And then it's not good news for Bruce Willis either.

[John Holmberg]

They're saying he's, he's about done.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's not good. You know, Bruce Willis is right.

[Dale Hellstrait]

I do.

[John Holmberg]

You do know that one. Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrait]

He's in Die Hard.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. He was the star of it. Dale knew one, guys.

[Dale Hellstrait]

He was married to that one actor, Demi Moore.

[John Holmberg]

That's. Oh, my God. It's like he's on Jeopardy. Yes.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Hit me with something else, Johnny. Hit me with something else.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. How Well, I think we can all think it right now. And to quote Jerry Jones, give me some of that glory hole. It's going to be awesome. Football starts tonight. Eagles. Cowboys. Eagles are going to win tonight by a lot.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Double digits.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's right. And you can listen to that sports thing that we'll be doing later. We'll have another podcast up before the weekend's football games begin. A beautiful thing. And this time probably without Nash because I don't have any idea how to include him. And he's out of town. No clue how to get him on the phone.

[Dale Hellstrait]

Probably a better show with.

[John Holmberg]

It's going to be great. It's going to be awesome. That's it. Larry's coming up next. You guys have a great Thursday. We'll see you tomorrow in the morning. S. It's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.