09-04-25 - The Brady Report

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – The Brady Report

Episode Date: September 4, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

---

Episode Overview

This Thursday's Brady Report segment delivers the usual mix of offbeat news, fun facts, pop culture banter, and irreverent humor the show is famous for. From odd government programs in the Netherlands to a deep dive into Brady's awkward Barcelona brothel adventure, the episode swings between snapshots of global weirdness, listener shout-outs, and wild viral videos. The team's unscripted banter keeps things moving quickly, ensuring a lively blend of laughs, disbelief, and the occasional cringe.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Listener Email Shout-out and Quick Banter

• Donovan’s Shout-Out: Brett reads an email from a proud dad, Donovan, to shout out his 13-year-old son, Dylan, who’s playing in his first varsity football game. Brett riffs:

  "Congrats, Donovan. Nice job. You're not completely worthless. ... Take advantage of this 13-year-old and get some, I don't know, illegal peptides or something start coursing through his veins. That's a payday waiting for you right there." (03:00)

• "Redaction Jackson" Movie Idea: The group jokes about a fictional government redactor, leading to a whole bit about a potential Seth Rogen/Craig Robinson caper comedy.

  "Craig Robinson is Redaction Jackson ... they just get high all day and start talking about what he reads and all the horrible things he has to black out every day." (03:15)

Quantum Leap & Black Time Travelers

• Holmberg’s Comedy Genesis: Brett discusses how his long-standing “Black Quantum Leap” comedy bit was ahead of its time, joking about the assumed difficulties of time travel for black characters.

  "Black time travelers: they don't want to travel through time. It's the worst. Even Indians ... the further back it goes, the better for them ... It's not true of the blacks in the States, for God's sake." (04:30–05:19)

• A brief, lighthearted digression on minority time travel hardships.

The Brady Report: Fun Facts, Offbeat News, and Absurdities

• National Holidays:

  • National Macadamia Nut Day
  • National Wildlife Day (07:57)

• Fun Facts:

  • McDonald’s HR update: "McDonald’s has one fewer hamburger: a businesswoman named Zoe Hamburger stepped down from her post as Chief Restaurant Officer..." (09:25)
  • Sex and Disability in the Netherlands: Discussion about the Dutch government subsidizing sex work for disabled individuals, leading to a string of tasteless but comedic hypotheticals.
    • Brett: "If I was in the Netherlands, I’d just smash into a wall every once in a while and get a concussion … think I need a blow job."
    • The group riffs on what qualifies as a disability and bureaucratic logistics of sex work programs. (10:09–13:03)

• Brady’s Brothel Story (Barcelona):

  • Brady recounts his only visit to a brothel in Barcelona, pressured by friends, where he ended up paying but leaving before anything happened due to awkwardness and the prostitute’s smoking and distracting phone call.
    • Brett: "Did you even start to shower? You started to take your shoes off. No, I'm not doing this."
    • Brady: "Yeah. ...There was one thing that did it and like, I just can't do this." (14:14–19:28)
  • Brett teases: "Sad, but it's a story."

• Bizarre Historical Trends:

  • Victorian women imitating the Princess of Wales' limp as a fashion trend. (20:21)
  • Medical oddities: U.S. President James Garfield being fed rectally after his assassination attempt. (20:50–21:28)

• Modern Survey:

  • 1 in 8 Americans are “overthinkers,” second-guessing 41% of their daily decisions. (21:45–22:04)

• Odd Medieval Health “Hacks”:

  • Vinegar masks, barley water for digestion, dead vulture remedies, and drinking goat poop water to cure chest pain—poking fun at the resurgence of ancient wisdom on platforms like TikTok. (22:43–24:40)

Weird News Stories

• Florida Man Attacks Couple with Bug Spray:

  • After getting denied for cutting in a grocery line, a man attacks a couple with bug spray as “revenge.” (25:13–26:06)

• Publisher’s Clearing House “Forever” Prize Winners Lose Out:

  • The sweepstakes’ bankruptcy means winners no longer get their “$5,000/week forever” payments.
  • The pain of quitting jobs or buying houses, now needing to return to work.

    Brett: "You... I never want to talk to you again, you pile of. ...I don't need money anymore. ...Then you have to go back." (27:00)

• Science & Health:

  • Study links phone-scrolling in the bathroom to a 46% increased risk of hemorrhoids. (27:44–29:00)
  • “I thought I had a zit on my anus… and I popped it and it just erupted all over her white carpet.” – Brett, on his childhood hemorrhoid. (28:13–28:45)

• Florida Puppy Store Incident:

  • Employee in a dog costume strangles teenager after taunting altercation; revealed to be a sex offender.

    Brett: "That's not good, you know." (29:44–30:19)

  • Riff on the bizarre logic of giving repeat offenders second chances in sensitive jobs.

Viral Video Segment: Visual Radio

The team reacts live to extreme or bizarre viral clips:

• Ethiopian Airlines Crash:
  • Footage discussion and curiosity about water landings and aviation safety. (30:50–32:19)
  • Brett: "The pilots actually did an incredible job keeping some of that alive. You haven't ever seen that?"
• “America’s Got Talent” for Oddballs:
  • Man puts out candles with his scrotum, then dips it in hot wax.
  • Woman uses speculum on camera in explicit footage.
  • Bullfighting carnage: a man’s pants are removed by a bull.
  • Plus-size woman exercises on a trampoline.
  • Girl hitting a man’s privates in S&M video. (33:29–36:37)
• The hosts’ reactions mix awe, disgust, and playful mockery, especially concerning personal hygiene and questionable online pastimes.

---

Notable & Memorable Quotes

• Brett, joking about neurotic listeners:

  "You're not completely worthless. You might have felt that way, but you're not." (03:00)

• On the Dutch prostitution subsidy:

  "They're doing what we've been saying for the longest time. Somebody blow the freaky guy so he doesn't lose it." (10:09)

• Brady on his brothel experience:

  "I just can't do this." (18:24)
  "I was a good loser and walked out." (20:04)

• Brett on Publisher’s Clearing House bankruptcy:

  "How about the guys, though, that said I'll take the lifetime payments and then went into their bosses and just threw fingers at them?" (27:00)

• On modern plane luxuries versus economy reality:

  "It's getting hard to fly anywhere, though, because you got to sit in a regular chair and then seeing all the bar and the shower. ...You want a tight spring trampoline?" (33:11 & 35:17)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Listener email & "Redaction Jackson": 02:13 – 04:10
• Quantum Leap/time travel comedy: 04:10 – 05:19
• Brady Report intro & fun facts: 07:55 – 10:09
• Disability & sex work discussion: 10:09 – 13:03
• Brady’s Barcelona story: 14:14 – 20:04
• Historical oddities (limping trend, Garfield’s feeding): 20:21 – 21:28
• Health hacks & TikTok trends: 22:43 – 24:40
• Florida spray incident & PCH bankruptcy: 25:13 – 26:59
• Bathroom phone/hemorrhoids, quirky medical tale: 27:44 – 29:00
• Puppy store/sex offender story: 29:00 – 30:19
• Viral videos & reactions: 30:50 – 37:46

---

Overall Tone

The episode is marked by irreverent, rapid-fire banter, often crossing the line between playful and provocative. The crew’s chemistry and willingness to riff off each other's stories ensure laughs even when the subject skews bizarre or gross. True to Holmberg's Morning Sickness tradition, the off-color humor is balanced with moments of genuine curiosity and social commentary, all delivered in a relaxed, conversational style.

---

Recommended For:
Fans of boundary-pushing morning shows, lovers of oddball news, or anyone who enjoys genuine radio chemistry and story-driven comedy. If you missed this Brady Report, you'll still get every awkward, wild, and hilarious moment right here.

Transcript

[Brett]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Dick Toledo]

Touchdown deals are happening now at hooters, starting at $10.99 per person. You can grab a Hooty's Pick 3 your choice of an appetizer, entree and a drink. Dig into crispy fried pickles, juicy wings or a cheeseburger and wash it all down with an ice cold fountain drink or upgrade to a cocktail or buzz balls for just a few bucks more. Don't forget to pick your player with Big Daddy drafts of Michelob Ultra or Bud light for only $4 or DOS Equis for just 5 do dollars. Hooters has the food, drinks and Game Day vibes. Hooters, where the party always kicks off.

[Brady]

It's Brady from the HMS Crew for Game Day Men's Health, the Valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations. You should do what I did and schedule a complimentary appointment which is quick and easy. You'll meet with a board certified medical director and figure out what treatments that can help you, whether you need more energy, medical, weight loss or sexual health treatments. Game Day Men's Health Clinic is a true game changer. Go to gameday phoenix.com and sk. Schedule your complimentary appointment today. Get back in the game with Game.

[Dick Toledo]

Day Men's Health, Football is back and this NFL season FanDuel wants to boost your bets even more. It's Dick Toledo from Homework's morning sickness and right now all customers can double their winnings with a 100% profit boost. Yes, that means you can get two times the payout on NFL Sunday Moneyline bets. So I'll be using my profit boost token on one of these four games. I'll take Caleb Williams at home to defeat the Vikings on Monday Night Football. I'm going to take my Seattle Seahawks to defeat the 49ers. I've got Houston upsetting the Rams and I'll take Joe Burrow to get his first win of the season against Cleveland. But you can use your profit boost token however you'd like. Just visit fanduel.com kupd to get into the NFL action with a chance to win even bigger. FanDuel official sportsbook partner of the NFL 21 and President Arizona opt in required bonus issued as non withdrawable profit boost tokens. Restrictions apply including any token expiration and Max Wick wager amounts. See [e-mail] gambling problem call 1-800 next step or text. Next step to 5, 3, 3, 4, 2.

[Brett]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. There you go. It is Stone Temple Pilots there, Plash. And I have to do this because a guy gave me a one minute window here. Says Donovan, who emails us all the time, says, all this football talk going on and I have to brag about my son. He just turned 13 on July 28, 59168. 13 years old. Tonight is his first varsity football game and he's an eighth grader. I'm a proud papa. He's so amazing. He makes me start to think maybe I'm not completely worthless. I take him to school from 7:30 to 7:50. We're just under the wire there, Donovan. Do a shout out to Dylan for me. Thanks. Just a proud dad. Now, hopefully your 13 year old boy keeps growing because my friend Mark in sixth grade was 6ft tall, probably about 150, and we thought he was going to be a behemoth and guess what, he's six feet tall. He put on a little weight but never got any bigger. So take advantage of this 13 year old and get some, I don't know, illegal peptides or something start coursing through his veins. That's a payday waiting for you right there. Congrats, Donovan. Nice job. You're not completely worthless. You might have felt that way, but you're not. Also, I like the idea that Sean Phil's just sent over. He said, I bet you there's a guy in that Epstein filing division that's a, that they hired a black guy and his nickname is Redaction Jackson. And I'm like, that is, that is a great high picture. Seth Rogen writing this movie. Craig Robinson is Redaction Jackson. And they just get high all day and start talking about what he reads and all the horrible things he has to black out every day. And Seth Rogen is secretly a government agent. So then it turns into this, this big caper of weed and redaction and terrible, horrible crimes.

[Brady]

Craig would be all over.

[Brett]

Only Craig knows. Yeah, well, he wanted to be the Quantum Leap.

[Brady]

Yep.

[Brett]

When I introduced him to my idea of the Quantum Leap, which I think.

[Brady]

Bro, I'm taking that.

[Brett]

For the last 30 years I've talked about the Quantum Leap and Dave Chappelle kind of wrecked it. And then Louis CK did a joke about it and Black Time Traveler. I'm pretty sure I was the first to hit the air with that. It was back in 1996. I actually got a talking to from Bill Pugh when I brought up the idea of the Quantum Leap on a Sunday at like 4 in the morning. And he goes, what? Nobody wants to hear you talking about nonsense. Play the songs, those new in radio. So I was talking about a black time traveler and he got real nervous because black time travelers, they don't want to travel through time. It's the worst. Even Indians. I thought of this the other day because I thought of the quantum again. Even Indians don't want to travel through or would love to travel through time because the further back it goes, the better it is for them, right? Yeah.

[Brady]

I mean, other than it's never good.

[Brett]

To be a black time travel skirmish with another. Sure. You're going to end up with. Everybody's got every. Every culture's got a war.

[Brady]

You're going to run into someone you don't want in the neighborhood.

[Brett]

Everybody. It's the. After the war, right? Yeah. There's always going to be something where the Indians are like, oh, I went back to the early 1900s, late 1800s is going to be trouble. There's going to be problems. But I mean, most of the time the Indians go back, it just gets better and better and better for them as they go back in time. It's not true of the blacks in the States, for God's sake. So the Quantum Leap showed up that his. He kept having to solve mysteries and stuff and he kept going back in time and it was always bad. But Craig Robinson wanted to be the Quantum Leap and I think he wants to be Redaction Jackson too. He just doesn't know it yet. My favorite joke he ever did was in a terrible movie called. I think it was Used Cars with Jeremy Piven. What was that thing called? It wasn't Used Cars. That was Kurt Russell. It was. Anyway, it was a. Jeremy Piven ran a car lot and they did a thing where Craig Robinson was a dj. They were trying to have a hyped up weekend at the car sales and he's up on the roof spinning songs and his name is DJ Request. And a guy screams up to him play Ace of Bass or something like that. And he goes, you got it. And then under his breath go. He says, nobody tells DJ Request what to play. And I laughed for 10 minutes because that joke is so funny and layered. It's hilarious. It pissed him off. I love that. So Craig's gonna be Redaction Jackson. Count on it. Count on it. In the meantime, Brady's gonna give us all the news that only he knows. We call this the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends at allpro shade. Allproche.com Again, wind, rain, all that stuff whipped up that dude that emailed us about the umbrella that went in his pool, and he had to become. He needed that Titan submarine to go down there and try to pull that thing up. He would have been safer on the Titan submersible than he would have trying to get that umbrella out by himself. If you ever have any sort of shade product that can be moved and you forget to put it down, when the winds are whipping up in these monsoons and you have a pool, it's inevitable that the umbrella finds the pool. All Prochade fix that. They put those shades in, you get the delicious shade that you always wanted, and if it gets too windy or rainy, they retract themselves. You don't even have to think about it. You can be out at dinner and have one of those surprise monsoons, and you wouldn't look at your wife or husband and say, oh, boy, we left the umbrellas up. Takes care of its own business, which is awesome. Brady has it. Told us the other day, watched them come back in on their own. That's magnificent. Stop screwing around with the old way. It's like having a horse instead of a car. Get the All Pro Shades in your patio right now. All Pro shade dot com. That's where you go. Brady reporting.

[Brady]

Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[Brett]

Hi.

[Brady]

Happy National Macadamia Nut Day and then National Wildlife Day.

[Brett]

All right. You seem more excited about one than the other. By the way, the movie was called the Goods. Oh, okay. Damn it. It's terrible. That's a funny part, though.

[Brady]

Early 2000s. 90s.

[Brett]

No, the goods was. Yeah, maybe 90s. No, it was 2009. 2009 or 10. I remember we sent Toledo to the junket, and Jeremy Piven found out that the reviews sucked and then stopped doing interviews right when Toledo was supposed to do it. It's a Piven movie. I mean, what do you even broke down, though? Because this was his chance coming out of Entourage to be, like, a leading man, and he thought everybody loved him from Entourage and then go rush to the theater just to watch him work. And the reviews came out like, this guy sucks, and they hated it. And that he had, like, a mental breakdown and ran away from the press junket. Really? He was there and then. Oh, yeah, he didn't want to. Toledo called and he goes, well, I'm out here to do the pivot thing because they sent him out. Yeah. And my friend Colin was doing movie reviews at the time too. And he's like, yeah, this. This did not go well. This guy, he did not like the ego hit and he ran away from us. The only thing I liked him in was pcu. Yeah. Cuz he. Well, that and old school. Yeah. Because when he plays a guy you want to punch. Right. Yeah. Yeah. He was trying to be someone you liked. That's not a thing.

[Brady]

Couple of basis fun facts. McDonald's has one fewer hamburger. A businesswoman named Zoe Hamburger just left. She stepped down from her post as Chief Restaurant officer for the McDonald's in the UK.

[Brett]

That wasn't Brett sign, that was the whole city. Go ahead.

[Brady]

She previously worked for McDonald's in the.

[Brett]

U.S.

[Brady]

That'S disabled people.

[Brett]

That's news.

[Brady]

That's a fun fact.

[Brett]

No, it isn't. The word fun isn't taking his oxy. No. Yeah. Will you get on the oxygen? You're a lot more fun like that.

[Brady]

Disabled people in the Netherlands get money from the government up to 12 times a year to spend on prostitutes.

[Brett]

No kidding. That's good. That's to keep everybody happy. Because they. Because what they're saying out loud is what we won't say because of political correctness. It's hard for disabled people to get laid. Right. That's essentially what the government's like. Look, they're doing what we've been saying for the longest time. Somebody blow the freaky guy so he doesn't lose it. We say it be like, that's terrible. Mental health is a problem. Like they're doing it and wherever that is. What'd you say?

[Brady]

The Netherlands.

[Brett]

The Netherlands?

[Brady]

Yep.

[Brett]

If you're a little bit off, kind of disabled, they'll send over a professional blowjob for you to calm you down. 12 times a year. That's more than married guys get. If I was in the Netherlands, I just smash into a wall every once in a while and get a concussion and dopey way wander up to a government agent and scraaa. Think I need a blow job.

[Brady]

They got posters up there. It says, uncle.

[Brett]

Huh?

[Brady]

Uncle Huggy Bear wants you.

[Brett]

What?

[Brady]

And then the other ones. Yes.

[Brett]

Oh, a pimp. Yeah, he needs his pills. This is sober Brady.

[Brady]

Whoa.

[Brett]

Uncle Huggy Bear wants you. Starsky and Hutch reference. Somebody get this guy a blowjob. I think he might be retarded. So they get how disabled Though this is interesting. I want to. I want a documentary about that.

[Brady]

Yeah. What qualifies?

[Brett]

How disabled before the prostitutes are like. No, like Stephen Hawking disabled.

[Brady]

Well, I don't think, I mean, though they still can find a prostitute.

[Brett]

What do you mean? Yeah. Oh, probably. I'm just saying, like at what point.

[Brady]

Qualifies to get government money?

[Brett]

Like, what's the minimum? Because I'll go, I'll do that. And yeah, like, like the maximum is like you're just a vegetable. Like Nathan Sutherland would have been treated as a government worker there. He was just doing the work of the Netherlands government. Like, she needed this.

[Brady]

If they get a placard, you know, or like an ID card saying, yeah.

[Brett]

It'S okay, I'm here for this. Well, I think it's legal there, right?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I mean if the government's pushing you around and you can apply for that job to be a government prostitute and do the work that even regular prostitutes don't want to do, which is to go blow a cripple.

[Brady]

Sure. You could probably put yourself on the list.

[Brett]

Like what doctors have to guaranteed money. Like doctors every once in a while have to work a county hospital just to give back good prostitutes have to blow.

[Brady]

Yeah, I'm sure there's a certain level. Oh, you got a government pro.

[Brett]

The cleanliness pretty regulated, I bet you. Well, no, I'm not talking about that. I'm not talking about the hookers. I'm talking about the. The species to go in there and try to blow.

[Brady]

I'm sure bath is.

[Brett]

They have to give him a bath first.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Silkwood bath. Yeah, with a hose in the front yard to scrub that R word's butt. Morning Sickness 88k u p d Audible's.

[Audible Announcer]

Romance collection has something to satisfy every side of you when it comes to what kind of romance you're into. You don't have to choose just one fancy a dalliance with a duke or maybe a steamy billionaire. You could find a book boyfriend in the city and another one tearing it up on the hockey field. And if nothing on this earth satisfies, you can always find love in another realm. Discover modern rom coms from authors like Lily Chu and Ali Hazelwood. The latest romantasy series from Sarah J. Maas and Rebecca Yarros, plus Regency favorites like Bridgerton and Outlander, and of course, all the really steamy stuff. Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30 day trial at all audible.com wondery that's audible.com wondery Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Brady]

They. I mean, that was what it was in when I was in Barcelona.

[Brett]

You got a hooker and they scrubbed your ass. There we go.

[Brady]

Get in the shower.

[Brett]

Well, yeah, they clean up.

[Brady]

That's what they want you to wash up, too.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Like, before we start, let's get the shower.

[Brett]

How many hookers have you been with?

[Brady]

That was the only one I didn't get in the shower. That was one. I'm sorry, I just thought the one.

[Brett]

That you were in Amsterdam, too.

[Brady]

No, I didn't. Only the two buddies I with ordered.

[Brett]

I know, but you. So in Barcelona, you had another one?

[Brady]

No, that was the first. That was first and only where I went with them in Barcelona. To the brothel.

[Brett]

Right. I thought that was in. Didn't you do that in Amsterdam? That was in Barcelona. That was in Spain.

[Brady]

Yep.

[Brett]

Oh, I thought you did that up there in Amsterdam. No, it was only the one time you've been in a brothel. Did they make you bathe to talk? Did you have to get.

[Brady]

No, I followed her down the hallway to the room. You get to the bedroom.

[Brett]

At what point in that walk did you go, I need to get out of here?

[Brady]

It wasn't. Well, when she answered her phone and started talking in this.

[Brett]

No, no, no, no. When did you pick her? Yeah. Okay.

[Brady]

So they're like, come on, you got to pick. You got to pick one.

[Brett]

So you had to pick one. And then she goes, follow me.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Brett]

At that point, she grabbed your hand. Did Brady Bogan down the hallway tell himself, this is awful?

[Brady]

Not there. I think when the door shut and she's like, all right, get undressed. Get over there. They had. Oh, it was an open shower.

[Brett]

Oh, she told you, get showered up and take your clothes off.

[Brady]

Get. Yeah, get undressed.

[Brett]

This was like utilitarian. This was not like it was. Okay, yeah, get your clothes off. Let's get this over with.

[Brady]

Yeah, let's scrub you up first.

[Brett]

Did she think you were a government?

[Brady]

And I started. And she was a smoker, too, which I didn't know that at the time.

[Brett]

Would you have phoned her if she wasn't a smoker? She's pretty. What made you pick her? Yeah, her looks. Yeah, her hands. Butt. So at one point you were like, maybe.

[Brady]

Well, I was peer pressured to pick.

[Brett]

So at that point you're like, I might as well bone this.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

So you were thinking about it, the walk down the hall. Dirty Brady.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. Because if I. I mean, if I thought, oh, all right. When in Barcelona.

[Brett]

Bang a local. So you Got to the room and she lit up a cigarette. You're like, no, she didn't.

[Brady]

She never lit up a cigarette. I just smelled it. She got on her phone was. It sounded like she was arguing with someone on the phone.

[Brett]

It was a pimp. So you had to go.

[Brady]

No way. Because.

[Brett]

Yeah, but they still have people that they talk to that cover them up for protection.

[Brady]

A guesser. Yeah.

[Brett]

If she's arguing with somebody, could have.

[Brady]

Been a client saying.

[Brett]

No, clients don't call and are. She's not answering the phone for a client. Unless you had already told her, this isn't going to happen.

[Brady]

No, this was before.

[Brett]

So did you have to pay even since she wasted her time? Yeah. So you paid the full. Full bang.

[Brady]

Yeah. Just for. Not down the hallway. The bottle fee.

[Brett]

Did you stay for the whole hour with her?

[Brady]

No. I thought, you know, I tried to communicate the best. Okay. She understood what I meant. Like, this isn't happening.

[Brett]

I have no dick. That's probably what she said.

[Brady]

And it's like, okay.

[Brett]

And she was all right.

[Brady]

Down the hallway and figured, I'm gonna sit in this bar upstairs.

[Brett]

I didn't stay in the room alone for a little while. You paid for it.

[Brady]

You had to get out of the room.

[Brett]

Yeah. Oh, you have to leave the room if you're not okay.

[Brady]

Well, I. I just felt like, no, I'm not gonna hang in the room.

[Brett]

Why?

[Brady]

I figured because there was the bar at the end of the. That all, like the waiting room.

[Brett]

Yeah, but you got to stay in the room to let everybody in the bar know that you didn't just two pump it. You stayed in there for like a half hour. Right.

[Brady]

People in the bar wouldn't know that. They don't see all brothel. Yeah. I mean, because it was enough in the hallway. Because you go to the separate room where the girls introduce themselves.

[Brett]

Should have boned her.

[Brady]

But I figured I've been waiting on.

[Brett]

My buddies and they were already at the bar. They closed us. Yeah. That's what you should have done.

[Brady]

Yeah. Couldn't.

[Brett]

Do you regret it?

[Brady]

No.

[Brett]

You should. It's a good life story. Not doing it is sad. You know who doesn't regret it for sure is her. She was. That was a little time off.

[Brady]

Quick buck 50 right there.

[Brett]

It's like a buck 50 from a guy who just sat there like, you.

[Brady]

Smell like 50 bucks. Whatever. How do you got to split it with the house?

[Brett]

You're gonna get cancer of the ovaries, whore. Step aside, Marlboro.

[Brady]

Maybe she did curse me.

[Brett]

She probably Hated.

[Brady]

No way. I was.

[Brett]

No, you gave her an hour off. Yeah. You were perfect. You paid. She didn't have to open up for your sweaty, gross body. She didn't have to touch you and pretend it was fun. I've seen you lift your shirt up. That's dusk. You don't want to get. You don't want to get that the first time.

[Brady]

Give him the shower.

[Brett]

Did you even start to shower? You started to take your shoes off. No, I'm not doing this.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

How far did you get?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Were you at least a little aroused?

[Brady]

No.

[Brett]

Did you make out or hug or anything? No. Just sat with your shoes off and said, I don't want to be with you.

[Brady]

Dimitri, they're standing.

[Brett]

You kicked them off.

[Brady]

Kicked them off. And like, ah, I'm going for the size. Oh, you know what?

[Brett]

Your gross.

[Brady]

And I can't. You know, there was one thing that did it and like, I just can't do this.

[Brett]

I love this. Well, just the smell or just a click.

[Brady]

That. That was one of the things in the phone conversation.

[Brett]

And then your conscious. Brady, what are we doing here?

[Brady]

Definitely a factor.

[Brett]

Jesus. Watching was a factor?

[Brady]

I think so, yeah.

[Brett]

You think?

[Brady]

No, I know that. That played into it a little bit.

[Brett]

Brady, you should her I gave you this gift.

[Brady]

I already gave her. 150.

[Brett]

Yeah. Did you ask for some of it back? No. Yeah. Good move. Strong. Anyway, that's Brady.

[Brady]

I was a good loser and walked out.

[Brett]

Yeah, just with your head hung low. That's a weird one. Congratulations. You got a hooker story, though.

[Brady]

Good story.

[Brett]

Sad, but it's. It's a story.

[Brady]

Limping on purpose was a popular Trend in the mid-1800s in the UK. The Princess of Wales had a rheumatic fever. Rheumatic fever. And it gave her a limp. And because she was such a huge fashion icon and trendsetter, the other women started limping too.

[Brett]

Oh, she's an influencer.

[Brady]

After President James Garfield was shot in an assassination attempt.

[Brett]

What's this?

[Brady]

Then he couldn't hold down food. So for the last month of his life, the doctors fed him through a rectal cavity.

[Brett]

They fed him in his ass?

[Brady]

Yep.

[Brett]

Boy, they made a lot of mistakes.

[Brady]

It didn't really work.

[Brett]

No. Well, Garfield didn't die from the bullet. He died from the infection from people digging around in it at the train station. He got shot in. To this day, the coolest thing ever said when you get shot. Watch this. He's plunked in the back and then their hands were so dirty trying to help him that the hole got infected and he ended up dying of the infection. And I didn't know they fed him through his ass.

[Brady]

He didn't finish the speech there.

[Brett]

That wasn't no. Roosevelt got shot and finished the speech. Garfield just screamed what's this? And then dropped to the ground. And he was like. And he was tough guy in it out. But then people tried to pull the bullet out with their fingers. They were dirty.

[Brady]

A new survey found that one in eight Americans are overthinkers and that the average second. The average person second guesses 41% of their daily decisions.

[Brett]

We're designed to do it. Fear rules the day.

[Brady]

They say we make about 50 decisions in a day. Which is roughly 1.5 million choices made in a lifetime.

[Brett]

This somebody just emailed and said please, someone make the sounds of Brady giving it to a Barcelona spunk. SpongeBob.

[Brady]

Take that, SpongeBob.

[Brett]

She didn't speak English. You could have called her anything you wanted. Roll over, spunk sponge. Spunk Sponge is a pretty good band name.

[Brady]

Someone shared a list of medieval health tips that sound like Tik Tok hacks. One of them is vinegar. A vinegar mask for glowing skin. You mix vinegar, flour and oil, rub it all over your face. Supposed to give you a your skin to glow. Basically. The original juice cleanse. An ancient year long detox plan had people downing different herb infused drinks each month featured a different herb. Things like cinnamon, sage and ginger to cure your ills. This one, barley water. This one was actually. It pops up on TikTok sometimes. You basically just boil a bunch of barley, strain the water and drink. A text from over a thousand years ago claimed it helped with digestion.

[Brett]

Huh. I'm sure some of that stuff. Very real still. That's what RFK wants us to get.

[Brady]

Back to dead vultures as a cure all. First you got to catch a vulture.

[Brett]

Sure. Well, if it's dead, that's easy.

[Brady]

Then they say a special prayer while you decapitate it. People claim that the vulture's skull bones would prevent migraines. Their eyeballs could help sore eyes.

[Brett]

I gotta eat them. Or I just cut its head off.

[Brady]

And kind of decapitate it. Yeah, but it sounds like it says their eyeballs could help with sore eyes.

[Brett]

You're eating?

[Brady]

I think so.

[Brett]

You can't just hold the head.

[Brady]

You can induce labor by tying their feathers to a woman's legs.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Brady]

Goat poop is the last one. It's a health hack from the 11th century to dissolve dung and water, filter out the chunks and drink up Supposed to help with chest pain.

[Brett]

This says. Hey, Noseberg, ask Brady what was the spread at the bar that made him bail on the Barcelona whore. Did they have like a good.

[Brady]

Didn't even have a drink.

[Brett]

No buffet.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

No, no.

[Brady]

There's no food that I knew of.

[Brett]

Well, and if there was. Yeah, exactly. All right.

[Brady]

I would have smelled something.

[Brett]

We were smelling the hooker. Too much smoke. Morning sickness. 98 k. You p. D. Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Brady]

A 65 year old name. 65 year old man in Florida named Daniel Kennel tried to cut in line at a Publix grocery store, but the couple ahead of him declined the offer. Daniel tried putting his stuff on the checkout belt. Anyway, there's an argument that ensued. He got upset, left his cart, stormed out of the store, and then the couple checked out. And as they're leaving the store, there he was. There he was with his bug spray and sprayed him the face.

[Brett]

Who's a exterminator or something?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Oh, so he took it right out of the truck. Like a truly Nolan guy went in a raid and. Yeah, that would be awful.

[Brady]

One of the victims was hospitalized, but it sounds like they're both okay.

[Brett]

Wow.

[Brady]

How about this? There's a story making the rounds about the man in Oregon who won the Publisher's Clearinghouse sweepstakes back in 2012, which pays him 5,000 a week forever. That's great. Technically, they paid him 260k per year this year. Check never came and never will past April. Publishers Clearinghouse filed for bankruptcy.

[Brett]

They don't owe him any more money.

[Brady]

10 former winners or of the forever prizes will no longer get payments. But at least some of them got some free money throughout the years. But.

[Brett]

But there's no one to sue.

[Brady]

How about the guy but the guys that went for the lump sum.

[Brett]

Yeah, they got it.

[Brady]

They got all their money.

[Brett]

How about the guys, though, that said I'll take the lifetime payments and then went into their bosses and just threw fingers at them? You know what?

[Brady]

You.

[Brett]

I never want to talk to you again, you pile of. I don't care. This is the only place that I'm qualified to work in the entire country. I don't need money anymore. You're a piece of. Never see you again.

[Brady]

This point is.

[Brett]

Then you have to go back. Sorry about all that. I won the Publisher's Clearinghouse, but they're gone now.

[Brady]

And this is your forever money. So the guy went out and bought a house, right?

[Brett]

And told his boss that.

[Brady]

Now that's cut. Got a house well, and so he's having trouble to pay on the house. Now that that money.

[Brett]

He's got no money coming in. Right. So he's just sell the house. That's fine. It's trying to get a new job now. It's going to be tough.

[Brady]

This is just another reason, John, not to get on and scroll on their phone when you're going to the bathroom. New study found that people who take their phone to the bathroom are 46% more likely to have hemorrhoids.

[Brett]

Oh my. You say that like I struggle with it.

[Brady]

I thought you said you scroll a little bit.

[Brett]

Oh, I scroll on the can. Yeah.

[Brady]

I've had like don't do it for a long time.

[Brett]

Three hemorrhoids my whole life. One was.

[Brady]

Well to avoid him.

[Brett]

Yeah. No, I don't think it was because scrolling because it was way before phones. When I popped the first one on my mom's carpet. Oh, it did. Were you like a dog just scooting across? No, I didn't know what it was. I thought I had a zit on my anus and it hurt. And I reached back there, kept playing with it. I pulled my pants down. It was the middle of the night. I was watching TV and I pulled my pants down a little bit. I was, I was laying on the floor and I'm squeezing it. I'm like, oh, things killing me. It's a huge zit. And I popped it and it just erupted all over her white carpet.

[Brady]

Oh.

[Brett]

Mom scream like a baby. And I'm down there scrubbing, making the carpet pink with. And I'm dumb. So I didn't even get like goods. I got like dish soap and water.

[Brady]

Last story, we got the 46 year old employee wearing an inflatable dog costume outside of a Florida puppy store. Allegedly strangled a bike riding juvenile who had a beef going on. I guess the kid was riding by on his bike taunting. The guy's name's Rodney Plathy. He works at Sunshine Puppies in Clearwater, Florida. Was outside the business Friday evening in his inflatable puppy costume. And the owner came out front because the kids were going by on the bike. Kid stopped and that's where Rodney came up from behind him and put him a chokehold. The problem is Rodney is a registered sex offender.

[Brett]

Oh.

[Brady]

And has a couple other arrests under his belt.

[Brett]

That's not good, you know.

[Brady]

And who hire that guy, put him.

[Brett]

In a puppy again. That's what I said about that church guy with the van. Two rape accusations and a murder accusation. And the church Was like, we believe in second chances. He took the van out, started raping. Of course he did. Second chances for rape porn, child porn, stuff like. No.

[Brady]

Rodney's going back in.

[Brett]

Yeah. The only reason people do that whole second chance for rapes and murderers is to pat themselves on the back. I'm a good person. I took someone no one wanted. There's a reason no one wanted them. You don't take in a guy who used to rape. He used to have a little problem with some rape, but I got over that. Can I borrow your van? No, you can't ever borrow a van again. That's part of the rules. All right, you got it?

[Brady]

I have one radio video. I sent it to. Yeah, I got it.

[Brett]

All right, that's ready.

[Brady]

This is. I know you like watching the air disasters.

[Brett]

Oh, I love.

[Brady]

This is flight 961.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. In Ethiopia. This is off the coast.

[Brady]

Didn't realize how much a plane would. You know, it makes.

[Brett]

Oh, it explodes.

[Brady]

Half the people.

[Brett]

Sully did an amazing job. Well, this plane, they couldn't keep straight. It was out of gas. This is the one that was hijacked.

[Brady]

Yep.

[Brett]

And they're flying along, and the dude told them to go there to a. To a certain place, and they were over the ocean, and he's like, we're going to run out of gas. We try to go where they are, so let's fool them. And. And we're flying over the ocean and try to keep it close. And he knew they were getting close to a. And people on the beach just filmed this. They were like tourists. And this plane, he tried 125 of the 125 it coasted in. And. Yeah, some people made it. And you know how they. A lot of them died. They tell you that we're gonna make a water landing and to put that thing around your neck, the inflatable thing. Don't inflate it, they say, until we're. Until the plane's officially crashed. Because if you do, when the water gets in the plane, it's gonna. You're not getting out. You're gonna drown. You in the plane. You're not getting out. Yeah, well. Yeah, well, you have to get out of the plane. Yeah, that makes sense, because otherwise it's just gonna push you to the top and the water gets in. If you're just swimming along, it's different.

[Brady]

It looks like that plane splits open.

[Brett]

It does, maybe. No, because the engine hits, and then it spins it, and then it just blows up. It's an amazing Story. The pilots actually did an incredible job keeping some of that alive. You haven't ever seen that?

[Brady]

No.

[Brett]

Oh, I haven't seen that. Google that whole story is amazing. Was it Air Egypt? Ethiopia Was Ethiopia Air. They've got planes.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Was that racist, or is that just what everybody did?

[Brady]

I think what everybody's thinking, blowing a 967.

[Brett]

Do they serve meals on Ethiopia Air? That would be no meals. Huh. Did they just drop meals onto the people down below? That's what. Maybe it's some sort of bigotry that I feel, but Ethiopia Air, it seems like they got other fish to fry rather than tourism. Have to worry about an airport in Ethiopia before. Let's just get everything buttoned up here before we build a Runway.

[Brady]

It's funny. I. I scroll on that. See that? Wow. It's amazing. I go two more, and it's Singapore air and it's luxury cabin.

[Brett]

Glorious. The new planes are amazing. It's getting hard to fly anywhere, though, because you got to sit in a regular chair and then seeing all the bar and the shower. The Emirates has your own showers, Bedroom and a tv, a refrigerator. All right, Brett, what do you got to start out with?

[Brady]

Just this.

[Brett]

Oh, boy. Okay, there's a. Oh, my God, those calipers.

[Brady]

Oil change.

[Brett]

You can call that thing a speculum or a. And it's opened a woman's bottom, and you can see way into her butt.

[Brady]

Doesn't that look like it's just.

[Brett]

It's dancing around in there pretty good. Whatever's going on inside of her. What is that? I don't know.

[Brady]

It's her. And.

[Brett]

Oh, she has a humongous fake stuff in there. Oh, God. And then she's enjoying it like she's having a nice sexual experience. Well, her anus tries really hard to close up, but she's got that. Yeah, it's not opener there. Like when people get open heart surgery and they crack you and hold them. Ugh. All right, we'll change gears a little bit. Here's some. There's some bull fighting for you. It's a bull with clothes or something on its horns. Oh, is it picking up a fella? Oh, it's got a guy on its horns and his. He's out cold and nobody's helping. Oh, his pants have come off. Bulls are great at taking guys pants off.

[Brady]

Oh, he's just.

[Brett]

Oh, right.

[Brady]

He's got it. He's got it. Oh.

[Brett]

Oh, I agree, lady. Oh, my God. Oh, that horn went right into the. Oh, yeah, but we watched it. We watched it actually pick him up. Oh, my Lord. That's the worst bull one I've seen. That was awful. Worse. Oh, here's a big fat lady getting on a trampoline. She's huge. Oh, she's trying to do the trampoline a little. Oh, she's lifting up her big fat belly.

[Brady]

There's not really a payoff.

[Brett]

It's just a fat lady. A gigantic. Look at that. Oh, God, she's so fast.

[Brady]

Is that real?

[Brett]

It's out there, Bridge. She's on that trampoline in her apartment. Who bought her a trampoline?

[Brady]

That's real. That tramp's hardly Bowen.

[Brett]

That's brand new. Tight springs, man. You want a tight spring trampoline? How about some candle action? All right, there's a guy with his penis over some candles, and he's folded up his testicles over the top of his wiener. As he hovers above six candles, he's putting them all out with a scrotum. Oh.

[Brady]

I thought he was doing like, the Mr. Joshua from.

[Brett]

Oh, this Gary Buses. Oh, it makes a little sizzle every time it hits it. Oh, he put all six out. That's pretty good. All six candles are out. America has talent for sure. And now he's dipping it in the hot wax. Oh, God. Oh, he's getting hot wax all over the tip of this thing. Oh, man. And then what is going on out there? I don't know. And then this one will just end here. Okay, there's a girl. She's attractive. She's in a. Two really fun toys. Got a naked guy on the ground. He's blindfolded. Already there's a little blood. He's got his penis in some sort of a vice.

[Brady]

Your hands away.

[Brett]

Oh.

[Brady]

Oh, maybe that was just.

[Brett]

Oh, she's just hitting them in the balls while they're. They're in, like, a. A rack. Oh, God, please. It cuts the steep rough. Oh, my God. She just keeps taking a baseball bat with a little foam. No. Yeah. It's gotta end. That's gotta end. Make it stop. Oh. Oh, she. Lord, he's smiling. This guy's taking a beating. I can't watch this anymore. No, that's horrible. Okay? I don't want to meet anybody. Like, last night, I was at. The videos have changed me because I'm at Native Grill and people are coming up, wanting to shake hands. And then, like, all of Brett's videos flash before my eyes. I'm like, he could be one of them. Just fist bump the supplier. You meet normal people and you're like, hi, how are you? My name's Pamela Anderson. Hi, Pamela Anderson. How are. And then my brain goes, oh, the things she might be doing. Let go of her hand.

[Brady]

Go Wash. Go Wash holds up the calipers.

[Brett]

Yeah, she's got the. I bought this next door at the JCPenney. They sell those there. Wow. All right. Well, there you go. There you go. That's your Brady Report. It's 98 KUPD.

[Brady]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[Brett]

I've heard enough of this.