← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
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You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
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You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98 Friday football season it's good to see neither of you participating in football season or caring at all about your teams. I however, look like a 13 year old boy got my hat on. No, you are in a bear's hat. Yep, you did nothing. Brady, you forget my game's not till Monday, so I'll be dressed on Monday. Oh Yeah, you get yours on Monday. All right, that's true. You didn't. You're going to Monday night game. You have to do the weekend. It's football Friday. Oh, it's so good. So good.
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I thought I had my black osu.
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You don't pull over.
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I gotta check. It might be in there.
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Bangles. Well, he just reminded him. By the way, we don't care about your boyfriend's letter sweater with some football. Some real football I got pinned. But I'd rather watch your OSU stuff on than that ugliest.
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C
I got a good Bangles jersey this year.
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Ghetto skin that you've gotten is a.
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Horrible Bengals big food will be beyond Sunday.
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Oddly enough, the two coolest cats in the entirety outside the Lions in the entirety of the NFL's nicknaming thing have the two worst uniforms by monumentally bad the Jags and the Bengals. Two predatory cats, badass cool colors. And they managed to screw it up and make it look like Panthers is. Panthers is pretty good. I don't. I don't.
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I like the. I actually like the Jags better than the Panthers.
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The multicolored helmet thing and the. And that light blue and gold garbage. And they're kind of that sissy little picture of that little puma. God hates Jags, Brady. We both know that at 7:58. Let's get right to it. It's time for the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends@allproshow.com. our wicked weather people have told us today is going to be a nightmare of hurricane residue. It's going to rain all day and all night. Yep. So you never know. You can't trust the weather apps of the weather people in this town. They just don't know that giant storm that rolled through last week. If you'd have believed what they said prior to that 0% chance of rain, you'd have left your awnings out. You'd have left your umbrellas up. If you were to listen to the weather people, well, you'd have been wrong. And you'd have had stuff all over the backyard. Unless you had all pro shades because they're self retracting. I love that feature. I think that's awesome. They put some shade in your backyard. You drop the temperatures up to 20 degrees. And as beautiful as it is now, this week in the 90s, oh my goodness. Dropping it down to like 75 because that shade will bust out all those UV rays. You got yourself a little pleasure palace there. And if the wind starts whipping up even though scene McLaughlin said it wouldn't. They take care of themselves. You don't even have to be home. They'll suck themselves right back in Buddha judge style. That's how it works. All prochay.com that's where you go. Brady Reporter.
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Good Friday morning to you. Phoenix. Hello world. We've made it.
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Hi.
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C
Happy National Cheese Pizza Day and National Lazy Moms Day.
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Good for you moms. Take a day off. Let that kid run all over.
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A couple of baseless fun facts. California has the most billionaires of any US state with 124.
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Wow.
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New York is second with 93. Texas followed by Texas 48. Florida 44. Who's got the least? Florida will probably go up too.
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People are moving from California.
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The tax.
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Texas and California.
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Yeah. There are eight states with zero billionaires.
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Mississippi. I was just going to say that they might have a couple because they've got that college.
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Incorrect.
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They don't have zero. Idaho. They're loaded with Idaho. Idaho's loaded with them. I would for Alabama maybe, but they got Alabama. Really? Because they've got that college. You know, they got the. The space thing too. That like Huntsville is a monster of really wealthy people. And I learned that because there's a stand up live there that our guys own again.
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So you have a half a half a billion.
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I don't know. 500 million is a lot of money, but still 100 million probably. West, by God. Virginia.
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Yes.
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On the list. Maine. No billionaire wants to live in Maine. What they. What are they doing up there? You had a billion dollars. Why would Maine be where you land? It's all the lobsters and stuff up there. There's some lobsters. Yeah.
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Fishery.
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Really? You can't get lobsters anymore.
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Lumber? I don't know.
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You wouldn't just scoot down to New Hampshire at least? Oh no. There's cars now. They can move the lobsters to you. Your question?
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They can.
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But yes, I am. He's in a food crisis. Brady is as good as Ethiopia right now as far as food's concerned. And the other ones would probably like Wyoming.
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New Hampshire.
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New Hampshire doesn't have a billionaire. That place.
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Delaware.
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Wow.
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Yeah.
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Again. Why would you settle in an ice cold place?
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New Mexico.
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Oh, that. They don't have millionaires.
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North Dakota, Vermont and West Virginia. Where do you name that one?
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West. By God, Yeah. New Mexico is always on those lists.
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Ireland won its first Olympic medals in 1924. They got a silver in the painting competition and bronze and literature.
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And we'll do it again. If you ever bring those events back. You stymied us on those when you took them away and made everything about running with blacks. I didn't know they could read. Well, we can't read, but we can. We can rhyme real good limericks. We invented them, you bastard. But then everything became like, race a black guy and suddenly we couldn't win anything. That's the worst phrase in the world. In Ireland, who wants to race a black guy? Oh, get, you bastard. You know we've got tiny little eggs. I'll fight one. Yeah, you're gonna lose that too. Yeah, but I'll still do it.
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The sounds from crunchy foods are comparable to tiny sonic booms because the food is breaking up at the sound of the speed of sound.
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That's the same with knuckle cracking. Something about that. About. I remember reading it.
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The USPS made stamps with the Statue of Liberty this in 2011. We. We kind of talked about it when it came out. The picture they used was a Statue of Liberty outside New York. New York casino in Las Vegas.
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Oh, really?
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Whether it was the best picture or. Either way, they had to pay 3.5 million for copyright.
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Oh, my God. Don't screw around with that. Can you imagine how bad that meeting had to be at the Irish Olympic Center? Right? They just canceled poetry. And they're looking to get rid of painting as well. What are we gonna do about our sports? What is it we can do, Seamus? Looking down the list here, not much. Most of it's racing. The blacks. Tug of war and a tug of war. But we're gonna lose that one to those gargantuan Bulgarians.
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Days are numbered.
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Don't look like we're gonna be winning many golds anymore. We've got to get them to bring back painting. That doesn't look good. I think we're just gonna have to. We're gonna have to raise blacks now.
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Look up the 1924 silver metal painting.
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It's probably a black guy. Guy like, what are we painting? I erase you. We're not racing. We're not insane. Paint something. Painting. The Irish are dominant in the painting category of sport.
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Were they on the clock?
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Did you have to do it nude like the original Olympics? I just. I can't imagine that. It's a dark day here for Ireland. Sports. And. I mean, it's the darkest of all. We have to race blacks now. Well, I'll do it. Ah, don't even bother with it. You'll get killed out there.
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Katy Perry's mother once dated Jimi Hendrix.
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Patrick had a heart attack trying to run the hundred yard dash. Cause for the black guy, it was like seven strides. For the Irishman, it was over 3,000. So much work to run a hundred yards. That's where tiny little eggs get going.
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The big drawing for the Powerball tomorrow, 1.7.
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Bill, I'm in. What's your number to get in? I know you don't play every. I know you don't play every time the Powerball goes up, but. Yeah, what's your number? Is it a billion or is it a billion? I'm that stupid. I'm that stupid. I'm not even gonna bother for the $900 million billion dollars, though. That's. I'll go after that. Yeah, I start paying attention around a billion. Okay.
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A website analyzed all the Powerball drawings from the past 10 years. That's 1246 drawings since October 7, 2015. Over the past decade, Powerball drawings. The number that's most likely to come up of all numbers.
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7.
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61.
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Oh. All right.
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First five numbers of the Powerball drawing can be 1 through 69. 61 has drawn 115 times.
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61 is what Travis, Kelsey and Taylor Swift do in the bedroom because she's a stick.
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The least likely to be drawn. 13. It's only been drawn 66 times in the past decade. But the one that is most overdue. 26.
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That's my birthday number.
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Last time it was drawn April.
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I'll tell you, you guys are lucky because I almost. I. I won Wednesday. 200 in tickets. And I pulled back a cool 19 bucks on that. I got half that.
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I got eight Chavez.
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200 in tickets. And I looked, I'm like, you gotta get at least the money back, right? No, 19. I won. I'm doing it again because I'm stupid.
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Same amount.
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I'm like it. Yeah. I'm like an Irishman.
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I cut mine down to whatever. I rolled it over.
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Yeah, well, I'll take, though. I'm not taking 19 bucks and betting that there's no chance. I'm like an Irishman in the 1930 Olympics. I'm still trying. What are you doing here, man? Ain't no more painting. Ah, I'll show you. Kimber.
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There's a new kid friendly WI Fi phone called Tin Can. It's all over social media. Social media. The target market is nostalgic parents who don't want their kids to have a real phone yet. No texting or apps. It's like an old school landline with a cord. It works over Wi Fi only approved people can call it. And you can control outgoing calls, too. It's a nod to those old tin can phones. Yeah, See with the string on it, the handset even is curved with, like a can and has little ridges. It's basically for 10 year olds who want a phone.
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No, it's not.
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Not old enough yet.
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Nope. It's for wives buying their husbands they don't trust in the 80s and 90s. This is not going to be for your kids.
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Pre sales right now. Yeah, the first shipments go out next month. Yeah, originally five bucks.
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It's going to be for kids. And then when wives figure it out, like, hey, wait a second. The dude who's got an I love my wife bumper sticker is going to have one of these weird can phones in a few days. You're like, hey, got a new phone there, Pete? Yeah, my wife got a new phone for me. It's just. It's only allowed to call, like eight people. And she loaded it. Was that broad worth it? That's going to be the next question. I'll go read my back of my car. It says I love my wife.
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The lame part is it's not one and done deal. 75 bucks.
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Gotta walk around. There's a free plan phone to prove it's the Scarlet Letter. You've been identified. I'm not allowed to have a big boy phone anymore. I screwed up. Morning sickness. Medicate. KUPD Holmberg's morning sickness.
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There is a free plan that lets you call other tin cans. Jesus Christ. But if your kid wants to call grandma cell or dial 9. 1 1. Yeah, you need the party line plan, which is 10 bucks.
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None of this is about kids. It's. That's the. It's gonna be sad. You're gonna see sad dudes with cans on their desks. You're not allowed to text or call. I can't. Hey, give me a call. I'm not allowed. My wife's got to put you in my phone and, like, clear it. I got like eight people I'm allowed to call. You go downstairs and Moynihan's got a can on his desk. Got a burner can. I just pictured this. Now this is a fun thing, too. This guy wanders up. All right, I'm here to. I'm here to sign up for the hundred yard dash for the Olympics, 1930. What's the approving time here? What do I have to do? Like, most people have been doing about nine and a half seconds. Nine and a half seconds? I thought you'd say about a half hour. How are they doing it? What? I got jet packs? No, it's just Jamaicans. I'd never seen one move like that. I. I'd see it to believe it. I'll get out there. I'm the fastest Irishman. I finished a hundred yard dash in about 38 minutes. I'm a lightning quick Irishman.
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Now it's time for science news.
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Does the earth move that fast? Does he reverse time with that speed? I love that they painted. I can't get enough of that. On the gold medalist from last Olympics. I'm here for the new ones where we get trounced by the blacks. Oh, good. Sign up here. Seamus McShamus. Wonder who got the gold in painting. Yeah, the Irish.
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No, they got silver.
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Oh, we only got. I thought you said the only time they wanted gold was the first metal Italians. I can't get enough of that one. You think the Italian. It's probably da Vinci. You know, they had some good ones. Picasso.
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The Greeks were strong.
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Nah, they were sculptors. Yeah, I guess if there was an Olympic sculpting or Maryville would have too. Their graffiti is great. Yeah, okay. The Mexicans could have come in on this painting. Depends on the medium. If you had to use brushes, the Italians. Yeah, if it's Krylon Cryon, that's almost as unfair as the Irish race and the Jamaicans. Hey, player. I'm an Olympic champion. Let me guess.
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And now it's time science.
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I can spray paint. Art on chain link, my friend. You got it. You're impressive. That should be an Olympic sport. Graffiti art. Oh, yeah, that's break dancing is. I know. Might as well. I mean, that was kind of racist that you compared the two, but sure, you're right.
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C
It's tag competition.
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You ever see beat, street or breaking? It's all graffiti. And I've only seen breaking. Too electric. That's right. The search for Curly's boogaloo.
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Size things.
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Go ahead. All right, calm down. We'll get to you when I feel like it's. God damn it. You don't push me around. I'm having fun with this Irish Olympian. My brain is running wild with him. What about the longer events? How long does it take him to like, run a marathon now? The Kenyans are doing that in two hours. Two Earth hours. Don't you get a break in a hotel card in the middle of that thing? How are they doing it in two hours?
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Maybe they can paint while they run.
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Slow us down. Even Brady. Kenyans just be blowing by Us, we should make them paint while we run. Even it out a little bit.
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C
A team in China figured out how to make Glow in the Dark plants. They injected the succulents with the same compound used in Glow in the Dark toys, and it said it could be used on larger plants too. Imagine glowing trees replacing street lights. Sweet. It's like Avatar, except for.
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Yeah, I guess it is. Did they have glowing trees in Avatar? They kind of have that. Weird. Yeah, that's true. They start to kind of.
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Cuz you're like, turn off the. Turn off your. He had a flashlight or something.
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I'll tell you the only time I've ever felt like I was on another planet. I was in the Virgin Islands, and the lady that was running the show there at the resort at Canal Bay, which is gone hurricane away. It was a beautiful place. Said, oh, you're lucky you're here at a perfect time. You can go into the shallow water at night and the phosphorescent jellyfish are out. And I'm like, I'm not getting around them. She goes, they don't hurt. And she goes in there everywhere. I'm like, what are you doing? She goes, stand in the water. Like, okay. So I walked out in the water at night and I put my hand in, and the motion of the water made them glow, just glow. And the whole thing around me was yellow, like, bright. And it was already crystal clear water blue as you've ever seen. And you don't see them. You don't see them. So your hand brushes across and it's making yellow lines. Like you put your fingers in like a rake and it would make. It was unreal. And I never once. Like, you occasionally see. Oh, there's. It's like sea monkeys. Like, they see them. It was the coolest thing I've ever seen.
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C
Researchers taught a robot dog how to play badminton. One science writer describes as being really good at it. But it maxed out at just 10 shots in a row before it missed. Still pretty good. A study found that kids with helicopter parents have a harder time when they leave home and face life on their own.
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That seems kind of common sense. What's scientific about that? I was gonna say that's not science. That's like. Yeah, I kind of knew that. Well, what's the dilemma there? What was the. Like, the study revealed that want to.
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Know if helicopter parents would have an effect on kids?
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That they're. They're.
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It did.
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Yeah. That they're gonna have a harder time not being guided.
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C
Yeah. Mildly stressful things are more likely to seriously stress them out.
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Yeah, because mommy was always right there.
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Yep.
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Yeah. The helicopter kids are 100 across. This is science. They're right, that's all. Yeah, all of them. That's not science either. No, that's. Yeah, that's just what I. That's just observation, I guess. It's science.
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C
The Harvard researcher, Avi Loeb, he's the guy that still thinks the interstellar comet zipping through the solar system could be an alien ship. Experts think it could be 20 miles across, and he thinks that's even more evidence it's aliens. He wrote in a blog that bigger is better for interstellar stellar spacecraft.
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Could be like a city coming up.
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Basically, you'd want it to be big so it could fit lots of people, create artificial gravity and not get torn apart by radiation along the way.
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All right, let's cut to the chase. How far away is it?
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They didn't say how far away it was.
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Can Elon get to it yet?
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C
Well, the only thing they said was the biggest spacecraft we've ever built is the space station, which is about the size of a football field.
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Yeah, but if they're interstellar traveling, we can expect them to have better stuff. Can we crash something into it and see if it pisses them off? Just send Goldblum up there. His MacBook. Exactly. Let's get something up there and smash into it. And if it doesn't fight back, it's a rock. If it does, then we were gonna die anyway. 29.
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C
I need to wear my aluminum foil hat.
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A
Yeah. I'm not fighting back. I'm not in that army. If the twenty Mile City lands on Earth, I'm pretty much like, they win. I'm pretty sure their technology is gonna kick the. We're gonna throw rocks at them.
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C
That's your science news. Got a 21 year old chick in Florida named Alexandra Dominguez. She's con. Been convicted of two counts of domestic battery, one by strangulation after a violent dispute began over a missing PlayStation game.
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A
That'll happen.
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C
The case must have been convincing. The jury only needed 20 minutes to.
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Well, she strangled somebody over.
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C
You know, the charges came from the incident back in April. Alexandra freaked out over missing PlayStation game, and the victims were her own family. She shoved her mother to the ground and started choking her.
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A
How old was she? 21.
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C
21. Her younger brother tried to break up the fight, and that's when she turned on him and grabbed his groin, Squeezed it. Oh, Striking him multiple times. Both victims suffered visible injuries you don't miss those. But they're both okay.
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A
You don't. Man, they'll stab you in the neck.
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C
Alexandra is facing up to five years in prison.
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A
She was playing Grand Theft Auto. There's no way she wasn't. She was kind of cute. I wonder. Man. She wasn't up close. Never mind.
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C
Not bad.
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A
It's okay. It's a mug shot. I'll give her break. She got good hair. I almost strangled my ex wife playing Grand Theft Auto one time. That motorcycle race. I remember. Yeah. It's only a game. You don't know. You don't know. Oh, man. I. Controllers flying against the wall. I stuck a PlayStation controller in my wall because of that. That particular motorcycle race. That was the most frustrating thing I've ever done with a. I took it. Megan was. It was in the bedroom and I'm playing along and she's doing whatever she does when I'm playing games next to me. In fact, that was when it came with a big giant, like, book that could guide you through. So Megan was trying to navigate, and all I had to do was win this race. There were like no tips or hints or anything. I would get to where. Almost the end. Remember how horrible that was? Oh, yeah. When you'd have a good race and then somebody go, think you had to win. Yeah. No second place. No second place. It starts all over. And it was the hardest race ever. I remember taking the controller and throwing it so hard it buried in the drywall. And the last thing I needed to hear was said, real nice, super mature. Oh, somebody's gonna get killed. You. Are you familiar with domestic violence? Because it's coming your way. It's just a game. Life is a game.
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C
Did Dima from Rockstar Games, did he ever pull that up when we were watching?
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A
No, this. This thing came out of nowhere. It just. Suddenly we're in this motorcycle race and you hadn't ridden any farther. Could not do anything except that race. Oh, it was so frustrating. I'm frustrated thinking about it. That was 18 years ago.
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C
Got some Lego news. You see this lady? That Gabriel Wall from New Zealand broke a world record by running across 100 meters barefoot of Legos.
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A
Thank you, Heather.
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C
Oh, she did it. 100ft, 100 meters and 24.75 seconds.
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That should be an Olympic event. That'll slow them blacks down. They have to run on Legos. Oh, man.
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C
They had some company donate 661 pounds of Legos.
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Some company she trained. Every mother in America would donate those. Oh, my God.
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C
And she Trained a couple of months to build up calluses on our feet. They're still kind of cut up afterwards.
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But walking on Legos, the worst were the.
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C
What was it like? The windows.
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A
A certain piece of Legos, Corner windows. The. The worst part about it is if you know you're walking on Legos, it's probably easier than when you accidentally step on a Lego. Intentionally walking on Legos, like if you stepped on a hot coal in your house, it would hurt, but if you want to walk across hot coals, you're mentally prepared for it. So I think walking across legos, even though 100 meters is an impressive feat, pardon the pun, stepping on one Lego unexpected is harder than walking across a hundred meters of Legos when you are doing it on purpose. Morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness.
- [26:08]
C
I mean, when we saw that radio video couple of weeks ago where they did the treadmill where they put down. Yeah, finally the guy bailed out on the tax.
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Brutal. Oh, on tax.
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C
Yeah, yeah.
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Step on attack. And it's horrible. Step on a thousand of them intentionally and you can prep yourself for. It's still going to hurt, but you at least expect the pain. So this is less impressive than anyone who's ever stepped on a rogue Lego.
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C
The other LEGO story. Star wars fans, get ready to drain your savings account.
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A
Nerds.
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C
They just announced the most expensive set ever for a thousand bucks. It's the Death Star, and it's part of the ultimate collector series. It has 9023 pieces, comes with 38 characters, including three versions of Luke Skywalker, two versions of Han Solo.
- [27:00]
A
But, like, nerds don't put those together. They keep them in the box.
- [27:03]
C
It's a cross section of the Death Star, so it's like you sliced it in half and you can hang it on a shelf. It has like 38. 38 different compartments, like the trash compactor room.
- [27:17]
A
Yeah, nothing hot chicks love more than walking into a dude's place and he's got half a Death Star hanging from the ceiling. That's. That is. You're getting laid for sure.
- [27:27]
C
The Death Star comes out October 4th. You can sign up for early access@lego.com.
- [27:35]
A
Yeah, look, enjoy your celibacy. But. And it's neat, but you're not getting laid a lot. At least at all. You gotta find a special lady. John Gordon found a special. Maybe Dominguez here or something. That lunatic who fights you over, she'll grab your nuts. I mean, she won't be. You won't like it, but she'll definitely touch you. There. Yeah, the girl that fights over video games. She's. Wow.
- [28:01]
C
I just have two brainer videos, actually. The first one's not even a Brady video. It's just a still shot of guy with a ass problem.
- [28:10]
A
I don't know what that means. It's Pete Buttigieg.
- [28:13]
C
Yeah, I don't know if it's a hammer.
- [28:16]
A
Oh, my God. What year is this from?
- [28:19]
C
Don't know. It looks black and white.
- [28:20]
A
Yeah, it looks like he sat on the world's biggest cruller and it just stuck to his ass. It is a massive. What is that thing? Okay, well, thanks for that. Brady's videos are a still photo from the 1800s. It's a sepia ass.
- [28:36]
C
Then the last one is for you, John. It's a foot taco from India.
- [28:39]
A
Oh, the guy's. Oh, Jesus. He's just sitting in the street. He's got his bare feet out. He's making tacos on the ground. What does he take out? He scratches his scratches. Dirty, barefoot, reaches into some sort of muck water and then finishes the taco with those same bare hands. And his feet are coated in whatever the hell that is. Oh, leaves and trees. How do they have a billion plus people in that nation who's having sex with these filthy animals? All the. All the smart ones moved here and became doctors. Like, if you still live there.
- [29:22]
C
Do you think his setup is. Hey, when we're out, we're out. Like a good barbecue place.
- [29:26]
A
Yeah, like, little mess.
- [29:27]
C
We're out of foot tacos.
- [29:28]
A
Sorry. He got till 11. Dead in line. Sanjay's feet. Next time we see him, is he. Is he using that as ingredients or is that just happenstance? I think he just had an itch. Yeah.
- [29:41]
C
And then I'm wondering, because I. When I get on that one, there are a couple more, and I'm like, this one can't be real. The guy's got his foot in the juice.
- [29:51]
A
Well, is he? Is the juice? Yeah, the juice is a splash.
- [29:54]
C
Like, the other one is a bigger. I saw he has a foot just soaking in there.
- [29:59]
A
Oh, man. That's enough. I'm banning all curry food videos from India. I'd much rather watch those videos where people's heads get cut off by trains. I got some for you. Oh. All right, Brad, it's time for your Friday. It's Friday Friday videos. Yeah, you could. It could be kidney friendly. Eat off that Indian's toes. Here's some tactical black for you, all right? Lady is putting her hair in a ponytail standing on a sidewalk barking at some guy. Oh, sweet. Beautiful. Right cross. Picks him up by his shirt after she knocks him out. I think it might be a man. That was manly move. Not this dude cold. And then picked him up off the ground by his T shirt. She's got feminine. Oh, that punch is all man. And then to lift him off the deadlift his corpse. Don't take her PlayStation game. That's what happens to you. What happens when you.
- [31:02]
C
That was a fight in the line of the foot taco.
- [31:04]
A
Yeah. Oh, man. Brady's stuck on that foot taco. He's. Ah, here we go. Talk about some here we go. Indian food. Oh, my God. It's a woman pooping in a man's mouth. Oh, it's a big one. Oh, God. Oh, my God. It's an Italian sausage size. Boo. Oh, he's got. Oh.
- [31:24]
C
And replay.
- [31:26]
A
Now the slow motion replay. It's clay colored. Oh, my God. And it is all the way down. And There's a good 6 inches left to go in. She pinches it off and she's peeing too. Oh, then it flops down down into his eyes. She pinched it and it flopped into his eyes. And he's just laying there with a. A big one laying across his face and deep in his throat. And by the way, he's covered in someone else's feces. Oh, she's taking the remaining log.
- [31:57]
C
He's dead. He's dead.
- [31:58]
A
Here we go. He's deep throating. Deep throat in the pool. Want me to replay it?
- [32:05]
C
No, no need.
- [32:07]
A
Oh, man. She started to use it like a. Like a churro. There's a new meaning for snail trail. Oh, my God. What is that?
- [32:19]
C
Snail in a snail.
- [32:20]
A
There's a snail inside a woman's body in her most important part. Yeah, we get it.
- [32:26]
C
I got the shell, too.
- [32:27]
A
She got the shell. Is she birthing it? She's put it in and now she's birthing a snail. Here comes the push. Just push a little more. It's like you're dilated just a little. That noise was the snail coming out. Why are there more in there, Brett? I didn't get that far. She put it right back in. Oh, no. She put it on top like some sort of a barnacle when she doesn't have a lot of salt in her body. No, because we know that. Because the snail isn't popping and sizzling. All right, what's this one? Oh, here we go. There's some homeless action. All right. Homeless. Oh, there's homeless oral sex. One's got a McCafe and the other one is going down on this homeless lady. Oh, yeah. You're going viral. Oh, my God. Guy filming him. They just noticed there's a dude filming him a foot and a half away.
- [33:24]
C
You wanted that to play.
- [33:26]
A
No, I didn't. I didn't realize it said that. He's not wrong, but there was a terrible word in there. I'm gonna save that one. All right, homeless people doing oral sex on the sidewalk. What would you rather do, The Indian tacos, the foot taco, or her? Which one do you take a bite of first? Give me the foot taco. No kidding. I am too. I think I go for the homeless lady.
- [33:55]
C
You go viral, bro.
- [33:57]
A
Yeah, I will. It's a campaign to stop smoking. Oh. Oh, she put a cigarette out inside her vagina. Oh, my God. Oh, they're snuffing out a cigarette. Yeah, me too. Oh, Lord. Oh, that's enough. It's out. It's out.
- [34:18]
C
That's it's biggest. Look at those fingers.
- [34:21]
A
Oh, she's a fat lady. She's got fat fingers. Oh, yeah. There's only somebody. That's the noise I'm making. Why are you making the same one? You volunteered for the. This. Holy smokes, man. Pardon the pun. Oh, that's a tough one there. Don't do that. Little toilet action for you. Oh, we got somebody. Caliper speculum again. And it's peeing.
- [34:43]
C
Is that peeing?
- [34:43]
A
Yeah, it's opening up a butt with this speculum thing. And then somebody's peeing inside the open hole.
- [34:49]
C
They're missing, man.
- [34:50]
A
They're not. Well, it's a girl. She got no aim.
- [34:53]
C
There we go.
- [34:53]
A
No, they can't pee outside for this reason. It goes everywhere. Look at her. She's got a gaping hole to hit. She's terrible at it. If this was miniature golf, she'd be on her fifth shot. Oh, she just tore her stuff up. There we go. Now it's full of the other lady. All right, that's. And then that's happening right now somewhere outside Brady, Somewhere in this town. Yes, sir. All right. Oh, there's an old naked lady. Contacted me for a gum job. A gum job. Oh, she's gonna take her teeth out, isn't she? Oh, here comes the cup to take her teeth out. Oh, she's got a speech. Should I listen to the speech? I think this one's clean. Yeah. Okay, now you can proceed. Oh, this lady's hangers are down to her hips. Those are her teeth going in the glass. Oh, God. Oh, she's putting the teeth on the penis. She's rubbing the teeth up and down the penis with her hands. They're out of her mouth. Oh, God. Now she's taking her walker into another room. And she's nude with the walker. This filthy animal gonna bang this old lady's walker. Come on. Oh, God.
- [36:04]
C
There's nothing funny about this.
- [36:05]
A
Yes, there is. Oh, my God. Okay, they. They have her. Her name is Rena May. And they put her quote up there like she's, you know, Benjamin Franklin. I just love the teeth dropping in the glass. Yeah.
- [36:21]
C
Kind of a tease.
- [36:23]
A
Oh, man. Look for the silver lining. Okay, now you can proceed. The teeth going in the glass. That's pretty good. And that noise where kind of that death exhale. And the bad thing is she's probably like 20. She's in her walker, too. She's in her walker while she rubs.
- [36:43]
C
The teeth on there.
- [36:48]
A
Old people shouldn't do that. Hey, Brady, this is going on too, right now a lot. Yeah, yeah. There's an old lady with a walker coming out of the shower because the old. This is going on too. Oh, God.
- [37:00]
C
All right, give me a number.
- [37:02]
A
Oh, my God. That's your future, brother. If you have one, that's it. If they get you a kidney, that's what you've got to look forward to. That's my future.
- [37:11]
C
That's looking bright.
- [37:13]
A
Oh, my God. See, that's why I'm kind of against modern medicine. I like Brady's God's original plan where we all kind of died around 30. There's no reason for us to drag on into that drop our teeth. Putting teeth in a cup and eating weens. That's not supposed to go down. Neither was he. No, no, no, no, no, no. You're absolutely right. Old lady or homeless lady. Which one are you doing?
- [37:47]
C
Oh, old lady.
- [37:49]
A
You do that? I think so, too. At least it'd be an experience. These sons of. That's somebody's grandma. I don't care.
- [37:55]
C
It's my future.
- [37:57]
A
No, you're gonna do it eventually. You're gonna be doing that soon. We all are. Everybody, if we're lucky. That's what we have to look forward to in the future is some old lady coming out of the shower. She go. Go wash that thing up and come back to bed, Gladys. And she comes naked, rolling back with that walker. And you're. Yeah, get those teeth out and give me a goodie. Yeah. She's gotta slowly walk that weird, droopy double butt back to bed. And you see it the whole. Turn the lights out. What's wrong with you? I'll trip and fall if the lights are out. Edward, just shut your eyes. I can't. Look away. Marion. She already looks like the melted Nazi at the end. Oh, my God. Was she burned badly, or is that just what our skin turns into?
- [38:45]
C
That's her skin.
- [38:48]
A
I don't want to get old. We're not supposed to. There you go, everybody. That is your Brady Report. It's 98. You're all getting older. It's not weird.
- [38:57]
C
It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.
- [38:59]
A
I have heard enough of this.