09-08-25 - FULL SHOW - MONDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 09-08-25 FULL SHOW (Monday)

Podcast: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness, 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio
Air Date: September 8, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Overview

This Monday, the Morning Sickness crew dives into a jam-packed episode celebrating a wild NFL weekend, John’s misadventures in DIY concrete work (and resulting ER trip), viral Philly baseball “Karen” drama, questionable role models in sports, and the hilarity of amateur construction—all with their signature irreverent, honest banter. John rides a euphoric high after the Ravens' loss (“true joy!”), shares his harrowing brush with blindness while installing backyard solar lights, and the guys riff on everything from DIY trades to WNBA TV annoyances, aging, strange haircuts, and relationship conundrums in their "What Would Brady Do?" segment.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. NFL Week 1 Reactions & “The Joy of Hate”

• (03:24–08:53): John revels in the Ravens' loss, sporting a “crying Lamar Jackson shirt” and explaining how true happiness comes from watching your most-hated rival lose, rather than even your own team's victory.
  • "Your kids, meaningless. Steelers stupid. Today I married my wife. No, that's not happy. You don't know happy. So you hate the way I hate and watch the thing you hate fail." – John (04:38)
• Brady and Brett relate, recounting past rivalries (Packers/Bears).
• Quick recaps: Steelers win, Cardinals beat Saints, Bengals' bizarre seven-yard half (“record for least yardage in a half to win”), and appreciation for Bills killing Raven hopes.

2. John’s DIY Solar Light Project (And Emergency Room Visit)

• (08:54–22:13): John narrates (with glee and humility) his weekend “do it yourself” project: installing massive solar light poles for his basketball court, including:
  • Eyeballing all measurements (“dig two perfect holes”)
  • Accidentally using a mix of deck mud, mortar mix, and actual concrete (and not realizing until later)
  • Pouring cement, no gloves/goggles (“pussies use gloves”), enhancing pride in “just doing it”
  • Medical Scare: A concrete splash in his eye leads to frantic online searches (“This is one of the most major medical emergencies you can have”), urgent care, and a harrowing eye flush.
    • "Is it bad to get wet, mixed concrete in your eyes? Is that bad? Should I be concerned? Rinse your eyes for the next 30 minutes. Never stop rinsing your eyes. Go to the doctor immediately.” – John, recounting the panic (15:17)
  • End result: perfect lights, “even with concrete in them, I still managed to put up two”

Notable Quotes

• "Eyeball things. Maybe I'm gonna say it better than anyone in the world." – John (09:38)
• "Pussies use gloves. That's not me. I don't use gloves. I stir with my hands and go dip it in the pool." – John (21:14)

Timestamps

• (20:15) – “Amazing” lighted court moment: “Played basketball last night…my feet hurt so bad…an awesome day of DIY projects.”
• (22:04) – Recounting the ER flush for concrete-in-eye crisis.

3. Trades vs. White-Collar Skills

• (38:52–39:07): John muses: Future belongs to people “who can do things.” Promotes trade school over traditional academics.
  • "The future belongs to people who can do things. Computers are going to do therapy and doctor and lawyer…Dude who can actually construct and fix something—that’s the future." – John

4. DIY, Machismo, and Construction Guy Stereotypes

• (24:31–30:58): Riffing about “real” men, construction guys, car repair, and pride in DIY projects.
  • "You know what fixes things? A nice swing to the broken thing." – John (35:30+)
  • Construction envy: “You think you got a snowed with your tool belt and your measuring tapes…I am Jesus. I work with wood and hand—wait, my hand and my wood, I've been doing that for years.” (33:43+)
• Discuss dangers of not grounding solar poles (“lightning rod”), and DIY shortcuts.

5. Viral Sports Moments: Phillies Ball “Karen”

• (70:31–81:39): Rundown of viral Phillies–Marlins home run drama: a woman (with a “Cruella de Vil” haircut) yells at a dad, demanding a home run ball he gave to his son.
  • Multiple angles: Her righteous anger, social media innocence, and the family getting showered with gifts in response (even an RV!)
  • "You out the horrible people [with viral videos]…but sometimes you feel bad for some folks who did something dumb..." – John (81:38)
• Wry observations about “fun haircuts” and social cues they trigger.

6. Sports Role Models: Michael Vick Debate

• (60:23–68:09): John rants about Lamar Jackson’s idolization of Michael Vick (“shouldn't be anyone's favorite, given the dog fighting past”). Draws analogies to other tainted athletes (O.J. Simpson, Ray Lewis, Deshaun Watson).
  • “You can't say Michael Vick’s your favorite…He shouldn't ever be brought up as a decent person again.” – John
• WNBA as sports filler in YouTube TV’s NFL multiview gets roasted.

7. Modern Annoyances: TV, Apps, and Streaming

• (56:05–59:50): The group bemoans the cost of cable-cutting (“al la carte TV is costing us thousands more”), overlapping streaming bills, and algorithm misfires, with hilarious asides about commercial targeting.

8. What Would Brady Do? (Relationship Advice Segment)

• (137:44–147:47): Monday’s “WWBD” presents listener dilemmas:
  • Should a man keep financially supporting his ex’s kids’ private schooling after a nasty breakup? (Consensus: if already paid, let it finish; don’t continue indefinitely—John: "You got to dump the whole family, break your own heart, and then stop dating people with kids.")
  • 16yo son dating a 20yo woman—proud or worried? (Hosts: There's something off with a 20yo woman dating a 16yo boy; reversed scenario more usual but still “touchy.”)

9. Miscellaneous Banter & Tangents

• Buying half a cow directly for freezer beef
• (129:33–132:21): Glee over discovering/using propane flamethrowers for weed and bug control.
• “Fun haircut” rants (how wild/unconventional haircuts often signal emotional baggage)
• Generational ribbing on handiness, trades, and masculinity
• (157:44–160:45): Entertainment drill: VMAs, Ozzy tribute, Charlie Sheen publicly acknowledging having had sex with men, Tom Hanks "deplatformed" at West Point, and commentary on celebrity downfalls.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On DIY pride:
  “My eyes are a natural level. They're perfect. Absolutely. Thanks to Dr. Jay Schwartz. Even with concrete in them, I still managed to put up two.” – John (19:16)

• On hate as joy:
  “You hate the way I hate and watch the thing you hate fail. It is unreal joy. It's true joy. It's relaxation. Brady, you should try this. When you find hate and aim it at something...you can't experience joy like I'm experiencing.” – John (04:38)

• On single moms:
  “This is why you don't date a single mom...You gotta dump the whole family. It's gonna cost you a few bucks. But you were playing house, you paid for the kids.” – John (145:06+)

• On the viral Phillies "Karen":
  “She's a human Subaru Outback...She is a human Subaru Outback.” – John (71:09)

• On Michael Vick as a role model:
  “Michael Vick should not be in the public eye...the fact they turn a blind eye to all the things that guy did because they never really made it back public...there's about seven pages that'll make you want to throw a punch through a concrete wall.” – John (65:57)

• On men and handiness:
  “People who can hands on things...that's the future. Computers are going to do therapy and doctor and lawyer, you're all done...If I knew it, I wouldn't need you. Stop being a dick about that and just fix my car.” – John (38:52, 35:30)

• On concrete in the eye:
  “This is one of the most major medical emergencies you can have. This will burn your eyeballs out in a matter of hours...I was a bit of a scared bitch. I kept my cool pretty good.”— John (15:17, 41:32)

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Important Timestamps & Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | Description | |---------|-----------|-------------| | NFL Week 1/Euphoria | 04:00–08:53 | John rants/raves about NFL, joy of hate | | DIY Light Pole Story | 08:54–22:13 | Full saga: mistakes, ER, triumph | | Lightning rod/Construction banter | 23:17–33:41 | On grounding, short cuts, manliness | | Trades value/AI future | 38:52–39:07 | “Future is trades” riff | | Viral Phillies “Karen” breakdown | 70:30–81:38 | Play-by-play and social commentary | | Michael Vick rant | 60:23–68:09 | On role models and morality in sports | | WNBA/YouTube algorithm gripes | 56:05, etc. | Rants on streaming irritations | | WWBD: Ex’s kids’ tuition | 137:44–147:47 | “What Would Brady Do?” advice saga | | Entertainment Drill | 157:44–160:45 | Closing segment: celeb, pop culture notes |

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Language & Tone

• Frank, irreverent, playfully crass, loaded with sarcasm, gleeful self-deprecation, rapid-fire wit, and an undercurrent of old-fashioned “dad” humor.
• John takes particular joy in mocking both himself and the world, especially when he feels vindicated (e.g., Steelers win, Ravens lose).
• Unfiltered honesty about health scares, family, sports fandom, blue-collar pride.

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode is a prime slice of raw, unfiltered morning radio, equal parts sports therapy, blue-collar comedy, and “DIY: Don’t Try This At Home.” You’ll find:

• Hilarious and cringeworthy stories from the hosts’ real lives (John’s flirtation with blindness; installing lights “by eye not tape”)
• Real debates on relationship ethics, modern masculinity, and social phenomena (viral “Karen” drama)
• Roasting of sports figures and modern life (streaming TV, “fun haircuts,” WNBA placement)
• A cast that never spares themselves in their own jokes, and tackles even serious topics (like cancer or addiction) with irreverence and authenticity.

Whether you’re looking for football therapy, DIY encouragement (or warning), or just need a laugh at the messiness of modern life, you’ll find it here—as always, delivered with KUPD’s signature Arizona edge.

Transcript

[Brett]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

Live it.

[John Holmberg]

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[Brett]

Hey, mine's working.

[John Holmberg]

Yours is working today.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We had that problem on Friday where yours stopped working out this thing. Whatever it wants. I don't know. We'll figure it all out as we go. Yeah, there it goes. I can't touch that. That button. If I touch that does crazy stuff.

[Brett]

Don't touch it.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta just not touch it. Yeah, it's. And I've been accused of punching things in the building. Plead the Fifth on that. I have not. Although I do believe thoroughly in the idea that if something's broken and no one at your office fixes it, punch it, break it completely. So then they have to fix it. That's usually a thing. But that in this particular case, this has been broken for a long time.

[Brady]

You can also credit it a little bit to happy days when Fonzie would fix things.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, maybe there is some truth to that, Brady. Maybe Fonzie did kind of teach me that when things weren't working properly. Give it a swing and it usually pops right on. Although you did have to have the powers of Fonzie to make those things.

[Brady]

Actually believe they have that mojo.

[John Holmberg]

I think I might be one of those people. I gotta be. I gotta be honest with you. I've done it before. There. I put another room there. I just switched it. That should help. All right. There you go. Yeah. Again, guys, I just want to tell you, I've. I've never been happier in my entire existence. And it happens here and there the last two times the Ravens have played football. And you'll see that I'm wearing my crying Lamar Jackson shirt today. I found a way to hate him even more yesterday in a pregame interview when he was. He was questioned about his intelligence. And he said, people question my intelligence, but we be all right. I'm like, that's perfect. Thank you. Great answer. Excellent answer. We be all right when it comes to intelligence, too.

[Brady]

Was that the sit down interview?

[John Holmberg]

Were two of them. There was a one on the other one.

[Brady]

They definitely had to. Let's keep it about 90 seconds.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, you can't get him talking. Cuz he'll. Especially when you want to talk about his smarts. Cuz he will we be all right. All right. I guess that you're an idiot. He's an idiot. And he played great last night. If you recall last January when the Ravens went to Baltimore and Mark Andrews dropped that pass on the goal line and lay lost. And I, I, I swear have two children this year, nine months apart. Ironically, I've never felt joy like this in my life. The Ravens losing is so much more, especially when they do it that way. So much more than any victory the Steelers have. Any victory, anything. All you people that are like, oh, it's the happiest day of my life. The birth of my children can't compare to the joy that courses through my veins. Your kids, meaningless. Steelers stupid. Today I married my wife. No, that's not happy. You don't know happy. So you hate the way I hate and watch the thing you hate fail. It is unreal joy. It's true joy. It's relaxation. Brady, you should try this. This out because your blood pressure would be nearly perfect with no pills. You'd get off the CPAP when you find hate and aim it at something that. That. That when it fails. You can't experience joy like I'm experiencing. You just can't. You probably had it for the packers for years. You didn't have a lot of joy with your team.

[Brett]

No, not since 85.

[John Holmberg]

But your joy comes from hate. Hate brings so much to the table, and we just. We keep dismissing it and try to bring all this love to the party. It hasn't worked. For 2000 years, it has not worked. But, boy, when you hate properly and the things you hate, do what you want them to do. My God, you can't feel. Feel better. You cannot.

[Brett]

Last season for me, Bears were terrible.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

But they beat the packers in the last game of the season.

[John Holmberg]

All good, dude. Yeah. It's the way you do. You walked out of the season with that win, pushing the packers around, and it was just. It's. Yeah, you can't. Thank you, Buffalo. Thank you, Buffalo. I've never said that phrase before. Thank you, Buffalo, for driving a steak into that and bringing, like, I. Heroin, cocaine. No match. No match for the joy that has been brought to me by Raven's hate. And I looked for my. I have a black shirt of Lamar crying. I have a yellow shirt and a white shirt of Lamar Jackson crying. I went with yellow today, even though I don't want.

[Brady]

The sun is shining.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the sun is. The sun's different. The food's gonna taste better. It's just all good. Yeah. Yeah. Steelers won. Great Cardinals. Nice job. Cardinals way. Although he toyed with it, you know, you had a little. He gave the Saints team a little bit more of a chance than they deserve. Yeah. You got Brady's Bengals. I don't know how you.

[Brady]

What a great win.

[John Holmberg]

You get seven yards in the second half. I don't know how that off. I. I know for a fact that you could, you could Lucas me, you could Rudy me and jam me in a uniform that doesn't fit properly and say, John, you've got 30 minutes to go 8 yards and I'll give you $60 million because that's Joe Burrow. I would throw pop flies until someone caught one for nine yards and I'd walk off the field. Seven yards and a half is the record for least amount of yardage in a half to still win a game. I don'. How many. The battle for Ohio is exactly how I would fight it. I wouldn't want it either. Neither of those teams wanted the. The Ohio.

[Brett]

Congrats, Brady. You guys broke a record yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, The Bengals record breaking win had wangs in their heads. The Browns had wangs in their heads and the Ravens had wangs in their heads. I just, you know, and the Steelers didn't play a great game, but it was, you know, fine. They walk away with a win. It's. But the Ravens blowing it. Not just losing, but like completely blowing it. Oh, my God. Come here, Brady. I love you, Brad. I love you, Toledo. Welcome back. Anyway, it's just such a great morning. It was a great morning. Great. Football's back. Week one was amazing. Eric's family barbecue. Anthony, the guy who runs the place, brings over just the most delicious stuff I've ever had in my life. It was just a perfect. It was a perfect Sunday. Perfect Sunday. Perfect, perfect Saturday, not so much. I had to go to the emergency room on Saturday. What? Well, DIY projects, boys. DIY projects there. I get a little wild.

[Brady]

Nail your hand to something.

[John Holmberg]

Well, now, no. I'm pretty proud of myself for what I ended up accomplishing. There was a hospital visit in the center of it. But on Saturday, my day Saturday, I was supposed to go see the world's nicest man, Jim Manley's band play. And I had it all mapped out like I was gonna do. I have two giant light poles and solar lights that I've built for my basketball court that I decided to say, I'm going to do this myself. I'm going to dig the holes. I'm going to put in quick crete. Yeah, Brett, post it. Post. I'm going to put these posts up. These things weigh about 90 pounds and they're all top heavy. One direction. They're about 19ft tall. And so I'm feeling pretty good. So I get out there Saturday, you're.

[Brady]

Like, I'm the postmaster.

[John Holmberg]

I am going to be.

[Brady]

I could post this.

[John Holmberg]

Brady. I eyeball things. Maybe I'm gonna say it better than anyone in the world. A lot of people say that I can eyeball something and I know exactly how to do it. So I looked. I had these two posts and I looked, and I just kind of eyeballed where I'm gonna put them. And without a measuring tape, I dug two perfect holes that happened to be just eyeballed exactly the distance from the basketball goal left and right. So one is about 17ft to the right. One is about 17ft from the left. Did no measuring. Perfect hit. Then I'm like, how far off the court do I need these? About here should do. And then I just looked from the other side. I'm like, that's about right. And I dug the other side. Symmetrical. Each one sounds good. Was 13 and a half inches from the edge of the court, each one zero. Measuring out here will do.

[Brett]

I'm sure Dan built stadiums that way, too.

[John Holmberg]

You know what's crazy, Brett? I was at Bank One Ballpark when they opened it. And when I watched that dude sledgehammer the train tracks that roof's on just to make it, I'm like, they make this up as they go along. There's no. This isn't like some meticulous group of engineers out here. You got to remember, a lot of those construction guys are, you know, just see students who are willing to stand outside with the tools. They're picking it on paper. Those dudes, the dudes in the offices, they're drawing some stuff up. The guys on the. On the deal are looking at a lot of things just going, this'll do. I learned from that. Dig the holes. And I've. And I've got till about 5 o', clock, then I gotta stop.

[Brady]

Say your deadline, wash up.

[John Holmberg]

I'm heading up to Cactus Jack's. Well, in the middle of the day, I get a call from a guy who I haven't talked to forever. He was with a friend of mine the night he passed away. And I get a call from him. He's working with Lincoln park now, and Lincoln park was here Saturday. And he's like, you want to have dinner with us, the reps? And he said, I got to talk to you. I got to see you. It's been years since our friend passed away and this and that. And he's like, and I want you guys to do this. And he's and he's telling me about Linkin park and the record and all the stuff, and. And he's basically throwing this bomb at me that if you have dinner with us, there'll be huge things in return from the label and all this. And I'm like, holy cow. Great. Okay, Chris, I'll do this. So I called the world's nicest man, Jim, and I'm like, look, I got this opportunity, Linkin park things in my lap now. So I think I'm gonna head that direction. If I can get out of the dinner early enough, I'll come down and see you. This. And I'm so mapping my night out. Anyway, five o'.

[Brady]

Clock.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta get done with this whole thing. So I got my holes dug, Brad. I got my holes dug deep. Two and a half feet. And you know how I measured that? I stood in the hole I dug and I said, that's about the top of my calf knee area. Let's see how the other one goes. Dug that one. I'm like, pretty damn close. So I go over to the Home Depot and I grab a couple of things of Quikrete.

[Brett]

A couple of Mexicans come help you?

[John Holmberg]

Nope. All right. Didn't use any Mexican stuff. I believe in this. This was Mexican free. Great work, Johnny. Great work. That's the way America's got to be bagging some water. So that's all you need. So I get a couple of. Oh, actually, I went to Lowe's. Lowe's Buckets. I'm gonna mix this in the buc. Like the ground is a bucket. Just pour it in there. It's exactly what I did. So I poured. Well, at first. Here's the other thing. And I don't know how good this is going to work or not. We'll find out in a few years. I used deck mud. I. I didn't read. I grabbed the wrong bag. It's not concrete mix. It was deck mud. But then I looked it up. I'm like, deck mud is basically close enough.

[Brady]

Smoother.

[John Holmberg]

It's gonna get hard. No, it's supposed. It's only for, like, heavy tiles. It's not supposed to. But it's in the ground. I mean, how hard? Anyway, so then I put in some other. And then. And then the other bag I grew because they look Lowe's. You got a problem over there with your quick creek section where it says concrete mix. If the person me doesn't read the bag, you have deck mud in where the concrete mix sign is. So I'm just grabbing that. And then when I got home, I realized it. And then the other one I grabbed was mortar mix.

[Brady]

What a pain.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty close to concrete as well. So that. So then you got two.

[Brady]

You got a variety.

[John Holmberg]

And then a third one of actual concrete mix, which was. So when I grabbed the top one, it was concrete mix, and I just grabbed the two underneath, not realizing that they're also, by the way, totally different colors. And, like, one was brown, one was yellow, one was gray.

[Brady]

You're on time.

[John Holmberg]

I just assumed, I'm afraid. Right. I didn't know Quikrete made all that stuff. I thought with the name Quikrete, all you do is concrete. Anyway, so I pour in the sand. I got my bucket of water there looking good. Pour in the water, makes the oatmeal. I'm mixing it up with this thing I got. I put it on the drill, making the mix starting to harden up pretty nicely. I get my. My stand for my post that I'm gonna put the lights on. I drive that into the ground right where it says to, like, this is going too well. Have a trowel. Because I'm just gonna. I'm not even gonna smooth it out too much. It's underground, so it's like one of those dad posts later when somebody else pulls it out of the ground. It's just this weird, like, boat anchor.

[Brady]

That conglomerate.

[John Holmberg]

What does that mean? Just.

[Brady]

Just a. Oh, it's just a mess of rock.

[John Holmberg]

It's a. It's a. On the post, the hunk that usually.

[Brady]

It's like rock candy.

[John Holmberg]

You're pulling out somebody's old basketball hoop and you see the. Oh, dad did this. And he just. He half assed it. But it's. It's going really well. So I'm sitting there. I. I put the. The little. I had a little gardening hoe there to edge the edge of the hole to make it a perfect circle. Put that in the ground, take my glasses off, run the wet cement. Pretty proud of myself. And the trowel goes in and splashes wet concrete into my eyes. Like, that can't be good. And I looked online, and it's like, this is one of the most major medical emergencies you can have. This will burn your eyeballs out in a matter of hours.

[Brady]

You still maintain enough vision.

[John Holmberg]

It didn't even hurt. Didn't even hurt. It just. I'm just like, is it bad to get wet? Mix concrete in your eyes? Is that bad? Should I be concerned? Rinse your eyes for the next 30 minutes. Never stop rinsing your Eyes go to the doctor immediately. And I'm like, but it doesn't hurt. And I'm like, what if it doesn't hurt? I'm asking chat GPT. It's like, doesn't matter. It's alkaline or whatever. Something's in there that just torqued. Chemical burns your eyeballs out.

[Brady]

Flesh eating.

[John Holmberg]

Then on the bottom it scared me because basically it's like a flesh eating vector. Then the bottom of the thing it said, especially if you've had Lasik or lens replacement surgery. I'm like, I've had that. Into the car I go. And now it's like five o'. Clock. It was quitting time. So I'm supposed to go do two things here. And now I'm sitting in at the urgent care down by my house. Like is this gonna be something they can take care of or do I have to go to the hospital? Hospital going to the urgent care. They black light my eyes. They got all this stuff and like this is really serious. And then the doctor told me that a guy was in there yesterday, which was Friday, cuz how, and I don't know how, he got a whole can of oven cleaner in his eyeball. Oh. And I'm like that sounds worse. And she goes, we, we had to flush that for about four hours. Oh man. I'm like, oh my God. So yeah, she numbs my eye. She takes this thing to it, she's looking, she goes, I don't see any injuries. And then for about 13 to 15 minutes she poured a pitcher of water in my open eye. It was the weirdest sensation of all time. Just non stop water being poured into my eyeball for. Yeah, for like half a TV show. So I'm sitting there kind of laughing like thinking of you, Brett. Brett's gonna get a kick out of this DIY project to put me in the emergency room for like an hour. No harm, no foul. Really worried at this point, not so much about my eye. How's that Quick Creek set Firmino. We're setting that up pretty good. I had to leave that come back to a perfectly. It almost like somebody went out like some sort of concrete.

[Brady]

Concrete angel.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, a concrete angel. Or his name was angel. But he went out there and he made it like completely flat like a sidewalk. And I didn't do that. Then I'm like, that's just the glories of how good my hole was. I got a good hole folks.

[Brady]

So one's up or both posts are in.

[John Holmberg]

Brady. I poured both. I was up till Because I couldn't go to my dinners, and I couldn't do anything at home. I'm like, I'm just gonna finish the lights. And. And both were perfect, like, at the end of the night. So about midnight, I'm out there with the poles, and they're kind of top heavy. The light itself up top is probably about 40 pounds. The pole's another 50. And I'm trying to put these on four posts in the. And, oh, by the way, here's the other thing I did to make construction guys really mad. I didn't even wait for the concrete to get fully dry before I just started to put dirt on it. That it's gonna cover it. It's gonna get hard in there anyway. Right. And then I just.

[Brady]

It'll just take a little longer.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Can't see it. So I'm pretty sure. And I'm jiggling the posts they put in there, and they're not moving, which is the whole goal. So I put dirt on that and I buried it. And then I sprayed the bottom of it with some sort of compound that keeps it from eroding the pole. Bought the gray paint instead of the black. I'm gonna have to fix that later, but that's okay. Okay. And I put that back up, and I start working this pole. Well, I realized that that pole is way too heavy to do by myself because it's. You guys stand this 20 footer up there. Anyway, bottom line is timber. End of the day, gentlemen.

[Brady]

Thought maybe you'd finish that last pull helping the boys from Lincoln park or something.

[John Holmberg]

By the by, each one is straight as an arrow. Each one that looks good. Each one is perfect.

[Brett]

Jesus did a good job at that.

[John Holmberg]

No, there were no Jesuses. There were no end hells. I'm telling you right now, that is a John DIY project. Come on. I put levels on it after I didn't even know I owned a level. They're completely perfect.

[Brady]

Give out the number to your side job now.

[John Holmberg]

I will give out the number now. Wait a minute. Careful with that. I will give out the number to my side job. That's. No, I don't want to hand that away. That's mine. No, they're perfect, Brady. And to all you construction guys who always roll your eyes. You don't know about everything. You guys go way too far with that whole measuring thing and all the work you put in. You need a set of eyeballs. Like, my eyes are a natural level. They're perfect. Absolutely. Thanks to Dr. Jay Schwartz. Even with concrete in them, I still managed to put up two. Now here's the other thing. I lost four of the bolts. So each pole's only being held up by two. Cause you know, gotta get em both up and I only had four. That's fine. It'll do for now. And then I'm gonna bury the bottom of this thing in the ground. It's just gonna be two perfect posts sticking out of the ground. And I gotta figure that gives me a good 10 to 12 years. I don't plan on living much longer than that. So it's the next person who owns the house's problem.

[Brady]

So how's the lighting?

[John Holmberg]

Amazing. All right. Played basketball last night with two of my feet hurt so bad from all this work, work and digging and running back and forth to the hospital. And it was an awesome day of DIY projects in my yard.

[Brett]

Is it like the first time the lights went on at Wrigley?

[John Holmberg]

I'm telling you what it was. Yeah.

[Brett]

A tear came to you.

[John Holmberg]

I want to tell you. 8888 is the day the lights went on in Wrigley. It got rained out. 8988 was the first game. It was very much like. It was very much like August 9, 1988. Wrigley tears. I don't. When I was done, I stood in the center of the basketball court looking at These perfect lights 17 and 6ft inches away from the right side of the basketball goal. Left side. 17 and six and a half. I missed by half an inch. There were no tape measures used until I was done. After I finished, I measured. It's an unbelievable project. I almost died. I didn't even know concrete could do that to you. Cement mix is evidently super dangerous. You guys shouldn't be toying around with it that horrifying. And I just took my glasses off for half a second. My elbow hit that. That the handle of the thing splashed right down into my puddle, right in my face. I was on my hands and knees hovering over the. Oh, by the way, also read later. Evidently that dust from concrete's pretty terrible too. I heard that inhaling that all weekend. It was great. It's bad for your hands. Who used gloves? Pussies use gloves. That's not me. I don't use gloves. I stir with my hands and go dip it in the pool.

[Brady]

Mr. Gecko, you're a huge inspiration to us all. But who was your muse? My dear old nan.

[John Holmberg]

She would tell me, always remember to.

[Brady]

Be true to yourself and to use.

[John Holmberg]

That fast and friendly Claim support on the Geico app. I follow her advice to this day. Get more than just savings. Get more with Geico Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

Always wondered why they're always booted up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Got masks and glasses on. Because they don't know what they're doing, Brady. They don't know what they don't trust themselves to. Not now. I'm probably gonna end up with some sort of horrible wrist cancer from all the concrete that was on my hands. And then I just plopped them out, stuck it in a bucket of water, went and got in the pool. I tried to wash my eye out with the pool as well, by the way. I don't know if that's a good idea. Is it? Yeah, a lot of chemicals in the pool, too. Might have counteracted each other. I've been through a science class where one touches another and there's a fire.

[Brady]

It frols up like the volcano.

[John Holmberg]

Well, and it. After I got way under and opened my eyes and did some. Some strokes getting up and around the pool, and I'm like, this might not be good. Because whatever I didn't know was in concrete mix was also probably counteractive to the shock and chlorine. I don't know. Hey, look, it's Stick Toledo. Look who's back. Hi, Richard. You see my. Want to see my lights? I got pictures. We'll put it up online. There's a few. Look at that. I don't want to hear all their solar lights. You bastards. I'm not crazy. I didn't do any electric. No, they're not worried about that.

[Brady]

They're congratulating you on your new lightning rods.

[John Holmberg]

Thank. Oh, yeah. No. Did you.

[Brady]

Did you ground them is what they're.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even know what that means. Yeah, they're in the ground. And no more questions. Did I ground them? Well, so all you tell me that now. A little worried about that question because I don't know. Does that mean anything?

[Brady]

Apparently they're. They're congratulating you on creating lightning rods. The next monsoon that rolls through, your.

[John Holmberg]

Whole court is going to be electric. But it's. But it's just into the ground. It's not even on the court. It's in my grass.

[Brady]

They're saying, did you put the copper stake in.

[John Holmberg]

In the.

[Brady]

In your concrete?

[John Holmberg]

What does that mean?

[Brady]

I don't know. I'm just relaying what they're. Solar light.

[Brett]

Yeah, but if they're solar lights, I don't think.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think you have to Worry about that. There's no wires at all. Right. Are your poles metal? Sure. Okay, but what does that do?

[Brady]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

All I'm doing there is allowing it so I can play basketball outside when it's raining. Cuz those lights will attract the lightning and I'm not even. It won't hurt me.

[Brady]

Go back. Yeah, just throw a couple of pennies around.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I think will work. Well, the. The hole still is there because I gotta. Oh yeah. Do some work today to get those other two bolts. I think a bunch of pennies will work. Brady's right.

[Brett]

Should have called Dan and hi Yellow to help you out.

[John Holmberg]

This is Dan and. Hi Yella. I gotta call. I called my dad on Friday because Toledo told me that the winning lotto ticket was sold. Where my dad lives in Frederick. Fredericksburg, Texas. So I text him yesterday morning. I'm like, hey, dad, did we win the lotto? Should take care of that. Said, evidently, last ticket was sold in Fredericksburg. And he texts back like it didn't matter to him at all. Nope. What do you think the Steelers are going to do today? And I'm like, did High Yellow win the lotto? Because technically I think he's your property, so that's ours. And he goes, I don't know. I haven't seen him for a couple days. I'll ask. And we're like, all right. Do you have any interest in winning a billion seven or is this like, what are you doing? Dan is fine. I learned from Dan Holmberg on projects like this. Now he would have measured this way too much and bored me to tears. Now I realize why my dad did that. There was a lot of math. He had paperwork, he wrote equations down. And then things looked terrible. This all eyeballs, not a goddamn tool in sight. Oh, by the way, the thing I stirred the concrete with. Brett.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I went over to when I was at Lowe's. I'm like, I need something to stir this concrete with and I don't know if I want to use the drill. So I just bought a long drill bit and used my hand. Hands. Oh my. Stirred it like a pot of stew. Hey, man, it's perfect. You gotta. Everybody look. All of you are welcome. There's an open house at 5. You can come see the lights. We'll just do a quick tour.

[Brett]

I can't wait till Dan comes vacation next time.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, look, I'm scared of the idea that. But if lightning hits one of these things, it's just going to go into the ground.

[Brady]

So what radiates out from the ground.

[John Holmberg]

But I'll be on concrete. There probably was.

[Brady]

That has rebar in it.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, okay. But it's not. It's not connected. I'm fine. How often is there lightning in this city?

[Brady]

Electricians are screaming.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. And I'm. But the electricians have nothing to do with it. The whole reason I did solo, it's to avoid guys like that.

[Brady]

So you're telling me that people put copper even on the poles? That they hang their like Australian, like a basketball hoop, you know, they put the dinner poles? Yeah, I have no idea. You put copper in those?

[John Holmberg]

Cuz I've got a few poles in the back for cafe lights. I don't think those are. Are. Look, I got lightning rods all over. I'm the safest person in the backyard. There you go. That's great. Anyway. What's wrong? Why'd you come rolling in and try to wreck it? It was perfect. Telling you guys, I don't know what I did, but I did it. Well, this one says you don't have to worry about copper. Line of the poles are already in the ground. That's what I figured. That's what grounding is, right? The ground.

[Brett]

Call Dan, let's find out.

[John Holmberg]

He won't, trust me. I've built stuff with that guy. He's. Come on. My dad does not have construction in his veins and he made a 50 year. How did he do what? Wait, he was a high VP at this company too? I have no idea. Anyway, since I wonder if Dan Holmberg is listening to this going, good God almighty, what a wuss. No, he's probably listening, going, that's how you get it done. By the way. I also, because I was like, I got another foot and a half to fill here after the concrete of ground. And I'm like, what is a dope? You know what it is? Mud. Mud. Mud, grass and water.

[Brady]

Yeah. Or hay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So I went, got some grass out of the alley, stuffed it in the Lowe's bucket, put in a bunch of dirt, made mud with grass in it, poured that in the hole. So now I got two pieces of cement and I'm thinking maybe I'm one more slab of cement on top of that just for fun. I enjoyed it.

[Brady]

Thought maybe you made a little cabin or making bricks.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not. And my friend Mark came over yesterday because he was helping me hold the pole while I screwed in the bolts. And you know what Mark said? Because he's equally as stupid as I am with this stuff, he's got a whole big tool room. I don't think these tools, it's. It might as well be the. The aisle where they sell tools. Oh, it looks amazing. But the price tags hanging off them. It looks like a hardware store. None of this stuff's ever been used. And he looks at me, goes, you know what? I'm inspired. And I'm like, that's what I'll do. That's what my construction projects will do. They'll inspire you. Because I'm thinking about building a gazebo in my backyard. I'm like, I'm your guy. We have just enough tools in this backyard. With my shovel, trowel, drill bit with no drill. My hands and eyes currently in their state. I might wear goggles next time. That did kind of scare me. And I'll help you build things. I am Jesus. I'm.

[Brett]

Watch this, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, jesus, I'm a carpenter now. Unreal. And look, if those are things tipped over. Odds of anybody being on that court at the time other than me. And I think you'd hear it ripping out of the ground. We're all right here, folks. I'm so proud of myself. One hospital visit, Normally a DIY project for me. You can count on an ambulance. I even drove myself to the hospital this time.

[Brett]

So you can put the lights up at wrigley. But didn't hang a bike rack anything.

[John Holmberg]

No. And I still don't understand how that went so sideways.

[Brady]

Where was the job super the whole time?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I was worried about that popping out every once in a while. Because if it's crooked, the first thing that one's leaning to the left, you'd hear about it. So I made sure. And just eyeballing them, like, I nailed this. You know how I. You know how I know it's straight? Because the h block on the cement wall behind it on the. On the mortar or what do they call that? That block?

[Brady]

The slump block.

[John Holmberg]

The slump block wall. The h block. The middle part.

[Brady]

Where it up?

[John Holmberg]

Well, afterwards, I did that one squinty eye and looked at it, and I'm like, that and that. Like, there's no lean. Perfect. Then I went and looked in the. And while I was in the garage Looking for something to stir cement and get a better little. I. I have a little shovel that I didn't even know I had, like, for mining gold or something. I don't know why I even have this. I'm like, that'll be better because I can be on my knees and dig. I. I'm like, oh, look, I have a level. And then I went out and I put it up against the pole. They're perfect. It's am amazing. I am a man who builds things with his hands.

[Brett]

Jonathan wants to know, during the next lightning storm, let's just have Toledo stand out there and test it out for you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we'll strap Toledo to it. But I swear, as I stood back and admired my work, I thought to myself, at this point, there should be hysterical laughter. There should be this outrageously obvious, flawless of funny. And it wasn't. It looked.

[Brady]

It looks great.

[John Holmberg]

It's professional. I. I'm so proud of myself and you guys.

[Brady]

And then I go, what the crew think. Show the.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it wasn't. It wasn't done for football. I had to wait for all that. So the polls went in yesterday, but I was trying to get them up there on late Saturday night with my concrete eye display. And, yeah, it was rough. Next Sunday, rough doings by yourself to pick up a pole that top heavy that if you're on the wrong side of the middle of holding the pole, one end or the other starts to fly around. So it was. It was a lot. And I'm like, this is going to end in tragedy if I try to stand this thing up straight and lose it. So I didn't. And I just had Mark kind of balance with me. So he came by yesterday, and then I went inside and I watched the ravens each at the. And I was like this. You know, anything get better than in this? And normally I do a project that big, not only is there a hospital visit, there's. There's a cast a patch over. Like, I thought for sure I'd walk out of this with a patch on my eye. Like when I was going to the hospital, laughing, I'm like, yep, this is. This is par for the course for a DIY, Johnny, because there's gonna be. I'm gonna have to wear a patch for, like, a month. Nope. All good.

[Brett]

I can't believe you did all this.

[Brady]

Now with the poles across from each other, you can string up a pinata center.

[John Holmberg]

Put a hammock. I'm so confident I could put a hammock between this, the both of them. This probably looks straight because his long Jew nose is blocking the view now, Gabriel. I know why you're upset, Gabriel, is because I didn't hire you and your family to do this. Gabriel.

[Brady]

Rod.

[Brett]

Dug the holes yourself, huh?

[John Holmberg]

Dug the holes myself, and that was not easy. Digger. Nice job, buddy. All right, all right.

[Brady]

Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody had Told me to do that one. You got dared to do that? I am a good digger. Dug two great big holes and you run into some like bleachy and all that other stuff.

[Brady]

Use the post. No digger.

[John Holmberg]

Just straight up and shovel. Just wow. Shovel feet. Got it done. Get it with a spoon at the end there. I was just using my hands to get the big rocks out of it.

[Brady]

I'll chop over.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I. I was really good at it. And I've never been good at that. And it was a pretty remarkable amount of time too. Normally something like this would take months. Months for me to accomplish. I. Every single. Everything just started to fall in line almost perfectly. Pretty much knocked this one out of the yard from start to finish.

[Brady]

Is there a switch on the pool for the lights or the lights?

[John Holmberg]

I have remotes and there's. There's auto.

[Brady]

But I was wondering.

[John Holmberg]

And they were so bright. I forget. I think it's a company called Langley or something like that. They're outrageously good solar lights. If you're looking. I can build them for you.

[Brady]

But four or five hours, right?

[John Holmberg]

What? Oh, they stay on for 10 hours. As long as you're not burning them at the highest level. But I don't do. Yeah. I don't need that. Amazing. So. Yeah. To all you handymen out there. You think you got a snowed with your tool belt and your measuring tapes and your tools. I am Jesus. I work with wood and hand. Wait a minute. My hand in my wood. I've been doing that for years. No wonder I'm good at this. I am like a carpenter. I've been working with wood in my hands for a long time. Time. Anyway. It was pretty remarkable. And I know. I can hear the city's impressed. I can also see all you construction guys rolling your eyes and stuff. But you know what? You came over to my house. You'd be like, who did you work? You're looking at him. Chief. Construction guys and car guys are exactly the same. Brett knows. Go over and drop your car off. I don't know. It's like revving the engine. It's like I can't quite get us. Feels like it's struggling to shift gears. And the guy will go at you. Transmission. The egonculators crushing the. The side soupy. And then the thing. And he looks at me and I don't know what you're talking about. He goes. You don't know any of this stuff. And I always say it to every car guy. Always say this to a car guy. I'm like, if I knew it, I wouldn't need you. Stop being a dick about that and just fix my car. If you don't know what the gonculator is to the side swoops, the side swoops Control the pressure mount. You don't know any of this. I'm like, no, that's why I bring the car to you. Construction guys are the same. Same. What do we need to do here? I want to move this wall. You get a lamb beam in here. Probably get three, eight or five, eight or six, eight of this. And then we'll probably throw a fisher hook on that and 10 pound test at something over here. I'm like, you're just saying words. You don't know any of this. No, I don't. That's why I hired you. Otherwise I'd be doing it myself.

[Brady]

Now when the computer guy comes in.

[John Holmberg]

They'Re the same move. Well, then they look at you and they go, who punched? And I'm like, I know. So you know what fixes things so deep down? You know what gets things fixed? A nice swing to the broken thing. And I am known around the building as the guy who will absolutely slug the thing that's kind of broken to break it officially. So somebody does their job. In this particular instance, this broke long before I could ever swing at it. Whatever this machine is doing in front of me, you know, I should give it a try. Brett, this thing on the board here in front of me has been broken. Broken. Nobody's stepped up here and fixed it.

[Brett]

It's your screwdriver over here, man.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? Now that I'm super handy, I might want to dig into this thing and see what it's give a deal. What for?

[Brett]

If this morning thing don't work for you, you can always become our.

[John Holmberg]

Get old drill bit. Fish around in there for a second. And some grass and some dirt and some water, and I'm pretty sure I can make anything work. That was awesome. Thank you, Steve. Steve has nicknamed me the Jew construction master. Said what you're describing on a weekend project makes me cringe. However, you should be proud of yourself. I believe your Jew ancestors built pyramids in Egypt the same way. And they're still standing. Your poles will stand for eternity. Go, you Jew idiot. I don't know why that ended that way.

[Brett]

John the Tool man Juber.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Yeah. That's pretty great. I was pretty proud of myself. Yeah. This one says I have six stadium lights 50ft tall for my horse arena with lights on them and they didn't put copper in those concrete though. You'll be fine. Thank you. Justin. Did you do that yourself? Let me go. I'll come by with my level. Justin. And see if those lights are as good as mine. They're a little taller, but still want to make sure those 50 footers are. And I also want to be friends with a guy who's got a horse arena. I think that's kind of awesome. Anyway. Well, there you go. That's the story of my week and one hospital visit. Technically two projects because each light I considered its own project. One hospital visit, that's pretty good for me.

[Brady]

If you do go into business, you'll just package that in the bids.

[John Holmberg]

One hospital visit? Yeah, it's part of the. Yeah, it's part of it. Why is this $3,800. It seems like it should be about. Well it's going to cost me about 1200 at the hospital. What do you mean? Trust me, you'll see. I'm gonna open a vein on your property. There's no doubt about it. If not that one of my eyes is at risk. So. Yeah, says H Vac people are the same. What you got here? Looks like solenoid connects to the transistor flux. Is that wired right? You got to get your compressed air through these coils here. You don't know any of this stuff. Like I hate when blue collar. Because blue collar guys, you are the future. You're going to be billionaires. You're. You're the ones in the future. The people who can hands on things. And part of that was my mentality of doing this. The future belongs to people who can do things. Computers are going to do therapy and doctor and lawyer. You're all done banking, you're all done radio. We're all finished. A dude who can actually construct and do things. Fix something, something. That's the future.

[Brady]

That's trade stuff to protect you from the computers.

[John Holmberg]

So you got that daughter of yours that's about to go to college for some dumb reason. Get her in a trade school and let her learn a skill.

[Brady]

Buy some bags of Quick Creek today.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? Make sure it's not concrete. I don't know the difference. Deck mud.

[Brett]

Send John with her.

[John Holmberg]

He'll.

[Brett]

She'll figure it out.

[John Holmberg]

Well then when I was pull after I poured the deck mud in the hole, I looked.

[Brady]

We'll be wearing goggles.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's. You know what? Good tip tip, pro tip. Handy tip from the pros. Put some goggles on. Or at the very Least don't take your glasses off. Yeah, my meta glasses would have saved the day. Ironically, the very thing I took off that got me splashed, I put back on and started to ask questions. Is it bad to get concrete in your eyes? Meta. And it was like, so adamant. Yes. This is an immediate hospital visit. Do not waste time. Do not assume you don't have it in there. I'm like, really? It can be like a five hour chemical burn that lasts forever. And I see all these. Hey, look, kudos to my other, my concrete brethren because I think I'm in the union now. Oh, look at you. My dad ran a company, a subset company of his company called Hunt Crete. For a while he was like in charge of that thing or I don't know what he did actually. He was one of the higher ups in that Hunt Crete thing and he knew nothing but concrete. I never saw him wearing goggles. He didn't do any of the work work, but he was around a lot of them anyway. See another man. I see these dudes handling concrete like crazy. Never once goggled up or. I mean, they do wear gloves. I avoided that. My hands aren't even dry and moisturized after. I think that's the key. Get in a. Have a pool handy. Hop in the pool, moisturize after. Here's another thing. I learned a little science. Whatever chemicals are in your pool mix real well with concrete. And actually washed it off my shorts. It didn't make concrete. So if you ever get concrete in your eye, just dive into a pool. It washes it right out. I guess I'm kind of also a doctor. It's a big weekend. And then better than any of you with your stupid kids and your happiest day ever being born and all that, the ravens, they go off. And with that and what I think may be the greatest weekend of my life, outside of missing a couple of things I want to. To go to, and I very rarely want to go to anything. Two things on the docket I wanted to go to. Couldn't go because I had concrete in my eyes. But look, Brett, not even red.

[Brett]

Pretty impressive.

[John Holmberg]

You're right. That's my story of the weekend. That's my story. So tell Kirby if she wants to come by and learn a skill, not to waste her time with you over there. Jesus awaits over here in the Biltmore area. I built things with my hands.

[Brady]

I'll let her know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Jesus didn't wear gloves. Jesus mixed his mud. Mexicans don't wear gloves in their houses. Those Adobe houses have been up forever. You just go out in the middle of the woods sometimes and like these mud and brick.

[Brady]

Guadalupe.

[John Holmberg]

Look, Sedona. It's a tourist attraction. You go drive out to those ruins. Those are from like the year 500. Half those houses are still up. I basically did that with my basketball.

[Brett]

Zuma's castle over there and the ones in Casa Grande.

[John Holmberg]

Just mud and grass. It works better than concrete. I don't know what deck mud is, but it got hard. So like a. All I said was, all I need this to do is get hard and I start working. And it did. 625.

[Brady]

Stop tiling.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Johnny, on the house. If you guys have any questions. 585-9800. That's the number. You can give us a song to play. Sure. That's easy. But I'm here to help you with your DIY projects around the house. I'm good at him. I'm good at him. I just need a quality medical plan.

[Brady]

A good eye.

[John Holmberg]

I got one good eye is all I really need. Still good. It's great. Dr. J. Schwartz did yeoman's work putting that shield over my retina too, because it unaffected.

[Brady]

Next week on the leveler.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And also, I don't think I'm human. I might be a little bit above you all because I had concrete in my eye. And the doctor's like, there's no problem here. This is a really bad thing too. Doctor backed up what Chat GPT said, oh, yeah, don't mess around with that. We get that every once in a while. That's bad. I'm like, no. Kinch goes, oh, it can. It's real bad. I'm like, okay. She goes, but you got it in there. I don't see any trouble. Like, gave me a little antibiotic. She said, that's just to calm you down. I was a bit of a scared bitch. I kept my cool pretty good. Give us a Wake up song. 585-9800 and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. I am Jesus. Wake Up. It's out of control now. 98 KUP Colberg's Morning Sickness. Morning sickness radiate k u p. That's how I roll. There you go. Thank you, Miles. Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Brett]

What are you doing over here?

[John Holmberg]

He's like, I should. I should punch this thing. Somebody will fix it. Good God.

[Brady]

Is that a rave?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Suddenly we're at Abercrombie and Fitch trying to buy jeans. Music so loud you can't hear each other it is 652. A lot of people following up on what I did. A guy named Alexander Herrera. These are the people I take the most serious about. My kids, my self. DIY construction project. That went perfectly. I will put the picture of what I did up on Facebook. And you will notice my tools are in the picture. And they are. I don't know if the wrench is in that picture. It's in the grass. Lowe's Buck. Geez. I don't think anything else is in that photo. That's all you need. My hands. They're not in the photo. Great.

[Brady]

You gotta get some goggles.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I don't listen for future projects. Look, Cracker. I'll take it from the experts here in the emails with the vowels in their last name. This is from Alexander Herrera. Let's say just tip my hat to you, John, for doing the work in your backyard yourself. But for God's sakes, where's your goggles? Safety first, Jack ass. Can't have America's sweetheart going blind. We almost lost Brady. We can have you going blind. Where's the just fix it mentality you used to live by? I used to scream that at just fix it. Sometimes I get a little bit of a wild hair. I try to do things myself and it usually ends badly this time. Just one trip to the er.

[Brady]

Would you do it again?

[John Holmberg]

Yes. I guarantee you it would be an absolute show of hilarity. Like I so expected to step away from what I thought I'd done and laugh like, this is terrible. Perfect. This one says, did you use your nose to mix the concrete? Gabriel Roa again. There, he's back again. Just better. He didn't get the job. This guy says, my dad retired from doing concrete. Ramon Lopez Ramos Lopez. My dad retired from doing concrete. Retired. Deported. Yeah. 40 years. Never once did he think about using eye protection. Gloves. Yeah. Yes. Safety glasses. No. Reylo. Yeah, that last guy told me goggles. Goggles are for people who don't know what they're doing or don't have swimming pools at the ready to counteract what everyone is. Casey says construction is a. This is the phrase we used to say. My grandpa taught me. It's good enough for who it's for because it's not for us. So you just get it done to where the people who you're building it for think it's good. Another one. Gloves. We call those pussy mittens where I work. Yeah, mittens, a good band name. This guy says, juice Bluberg, man of many talents. Shock Jock Mason. Doctor, Scientist, Jew. You guys are just jerks. Not a job to be Jewish. It's hard work.

[Brett]

Gene Simmons would disagree.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's not a job. It's an obligation. This one's from Ryan Weber. John, it's time you quit this radio garbage and start your own construction on the spot. Spectrum channel. I think that's not a bad idea. You know, they have those shows like Cake Boss and people like structure on the spectrum. Just dudes who don't know what they're doing show masterpieces and then just use the. You know what would be a great show? Internet builder. You know, AI Builder. And it's like a dude like me and Brett and we breach into a bucket and there's a project and we gotta figure it out, and they send us all the supplies and no instructions and we have to Internet build. Build it. O. Hilarious, though. At the end, the fireplace. Homer Simpson tried to build a fireplace once. And they show him, and he's looking at the picture at the end and then he moves the picture out of the way and this. This Tim Burton machine is in his backyard. And then it just crumbles and lights on fire for no reason. It's hilarious. That's what I expected. Perfect. Anyway, let me just fire that over to you. Photo of my glorious yard. My lights straighten out. What a beautiful sunset that was as well. I caught this. Perfect. You can put this up on the. On the page. I'll send it to. I'll send it to the HMS thread. Y' all get a good shot of that. Send me my Christmas card this year. I did that. Anyway, what you do. England. And this is good for everybody. England is usually kind of a bellwether thing for how we move. Next. Europe. Europe is something we usually follow after a judge in Europe just ruled that it's calling your boss a dickhead isn't a firing offense. Isn't that Fantastic?

[Brady]

Get you 40 grand.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. $40,000. Ladies called it boss. And you're a. And they're like, well, you're fired. You can't do that. That's insubordinates. And the judge was like, nope. So that's going to leak over the pond and come over here soon.

[Brady]

And, well, there's. You know, the other good side of it is how he. He fired her. He and his wife. The response. At least it was only 40 grand. Yeah, well, look, don't call me an effing D head.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady]

Or my wife.

[John Holmberg]

Wife. Your wife's a though. That's it.

[Brady]

Pack your Kit and F off.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, you know, you're using salty language back and forth, but that's allowed. But it isn't in. In this situation. And I'm not sure what brought it on, but this lady named Carrie Herbert worked at a scaffolding and brickwork company. I'll be starting one of those soon, so she can come work for me. Said, you know, that's gonna be.

[Brady]

That language is flying around there on that company.

[John Holmberg]

It might be a guy. Carrie. Oh, yeah, it's construction. You can say this. And you and Dick had this. And it's not enough to get fired. It was an emotional response. You can't be emotional at work. The boss can't be emotional. The employees can't be emotional, running around calling each other names and emotions, stirring it up. But give it a try today. And if you get fired, I know it's an English court case at this point, but you can use it as the precedent to say, now hold on a second. You know, if you work at national bank of Arizona, please try it with the CEO. He's a good friend of mine. We'll test him out. I've been calling him a dickhead since the fifth grade. You're not wrong. Yeah, that's a pretty good run right there. I think that's a pretty. A pretty nice thing. Now, in this place, we've had employees that have actually taken swings at bosses before and showed up to work the next day. We had one guy come up. Up and grabbed the vagina of a coworker's wife. And he still stayed here for a little bit.

[Brett]

Flying that one.

[John Holmberg]

He decided to get really drunk. And when he's drunk, he says the NW a lot. And he did that about nine times at the Christmas party. And he was still here the next day giving away dusty bottles of alcohol he wasn't allowed to have in the house anymore because his wife put a stop for that. Greatest moment ever. She made him take all the dusty bottles of Jack Daniels and give them away. His Christmas presents. The day after the N word tirade at the Christmas party. That was my. That's probably my favorite moment working here was that. That was pretty outstanding. So, yeah, give it a try today. It's not enough. Your boss gets emotional. An emotional reaction. I just go in there and just go. Morning, dickhead. What? What? What? What? Larry, step into my office. Did you just call me a yes, sir, I did. I can't fire you for that, but I got my eyes on you, McFeelings. Anyway. Try it today. I'm not going to call Trip a. That's crazy talk. He calls me that all the time. So fair enough about, you know, turnabout's fair play. You're nothing but a. You're an idiot. He says it to me all the time. Yesterday at the Steelers game, my friend John Sharp neck has grown a blonde Hitler mustache. And he doesn't realize he's done it. He thinks it's a cool mustache, but it isn't. Cuz it only shows right where Hitler's does. And then the outsides of it are blonde. Tripp sitting, and he's got a recliner there and John standing next to me. And we're kind of behind Trip. And for some reason, the conversation started, it's like, hey, Shard McHalloween's right around the corner. You should actually go as Hitler. And then everybody started to talk about what he needed for a Hitler costume. And I'm like, I don't want to say guys, but usually I'm not the voice of reason in any situation whatsoever. Pretty much this conversation might be the worst ideas I've ever heard in my life that are being considered. And I said, you can ask this guy here. I'm never the dude who puts this in the right perspective. And Tripp goes, yeah, I can back that up. He wouldn't. If he's the voice of reason, it's bad. But they had this. And then so we. So then because I've had such a great weekend of decision making and skills, I compromised and said, you need to go out as Charlie Chaplin.

[Brady]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

That is. That makes the other people racist. It's a trick.

[Brett]

It's a top hat and a cane.

[John Holmberg]

Take the top hat off for a little while. You walk around with Chaplin. Yeah. The derby's in his hand, though. Yeah. And then you just kind of smash your cane into the ground. Do the waddle black suit. Yeah, you could do the waddle if you want. Or you just walk into the party dressed as Charlie Chaplin. Lots of folks are gonna think you're the other guy. Lots of folks. And then they'll be like, how dare you? And I'm like, it's America's little clown. Like, what are you talking about? We loved Charlie Chaplin. He was cinema's first comedian. Who's Charlie Chaplin? You have a real hang up on things. Jew hater. And then walk away. Waddle away after that. If you get to say Jew hater and then do the Charlie Chaplin walk and spin after, it's the greatest day of your life. You came to my party as Hitler. I did no such thing. Jew hater. Did they just walk away? Practice the walk though. Because if you screw that up, it does kind of look. It might be goose stepping, but yeah. So a lot of that stuff went down also on the weekend, I have to say I'll be the one who pushes back out loud on this. Hey, YouTube TV, you this weekend you got a great operation here. You're overcharging everybody for not only your service, but this football package, right? My bill came and I'm like, I'm. It's astronomical. My TV. TV used to be. It was better. John McCain was wrong a la carte. TV is costing us thousands more. It's crazy how much TV costs now with all your apps and when you add it all up, when it's a bunch of ten dollar bills, you don't think it's much. But my bill came. YouTube TV was like 400 because it came half of the NFL package show. So I'm like, all right, I'm pretty happy with that. That's fine. Then I started to do the math and I'm paying a lot for TV and like I've got Hulu, I watch one show on that. I've got Apple tv, I've watched one show on that peacock only for op Live. I have something called Philo to watch old TV shows. I've pretty much seen them all now. It's a ton of tv. So I expect the one that cost me the most, which is my YouTube TV, to be catering to me. If algorithms are really a thing and you know what I like based on what I watch, then don't put the mother WNBA in my multi view because after the Steelers game was over, I took a little break and I'm like, I'll put four on the screen. You can do four games at once, right?

[Brady]

Yeah, the quad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I had to. I had to build my own to get it right. Because the Indiana Fever game or the Mystics or Valkyrie or whatever the they call themselves somehow got mixed up into all the multiviews. It's sports. It's Sunday sports, sports. The WNBA is not included. Anybody interested in the WNBA is not keeping their eye on it with football. They're watching that and maybe like Melissa Etheridge on a loop. Nobody wants that in their multi view. How dare you? It's the worst because it was multiple times and different ones I could mix in like what was it? The Broncos and Titans and that was in there. And then that went away and they moved in a different wnba. Game. Instead of giving me four football games. I always had this WNBA thing to wrestle there. Yeah, yeah. Show me like the bears of the 50s. If I'm a Bears fan, that would have meant something to me. Get a 30 for 30 up there. NFL Network, where they're just doing game day highlights all day as a show me. So nobody wants the WNBA in the multi view. This thing's supposed to be learning me as much as I'm paying for tv. And you know what it does learn me? Goddamn commercials. My Apple TV through that YouTube connection knows when I look something up on my phone because I get commercials for it on TV just for me. I have four TVs in my bar and each one is connected to the apple. If they're all on the same channel. Channel. The commercials are different because each one has its own apple. So each one's feeding me something.

[Brady]

Every lubrication company out there, tons of that.

[John Holmberg]

Cherry lube. Goggles. Don't you need goggles? It's like the closest, you know, honor health gloves. Like it's tons of stuff.

[Brady]

J date.

[John Holmberg]

Totally. Yeah, totally. There's tons of stuff. I bought a. One of those una beds, whatever those interlock locking frames are. And by the way, I put a Verlo mattress on them. Go to Verlo.

[Brady]

Good combo.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. The mattress is a Verlo. I used to do tuft and needle stuff. Then they got bought by Serta. These Verlo mattresses are ridiculous. Jonathan. Who runs furlough?

[Brady]

Jonathan.

[John Holmberg]

Jonathan. We're also going to buy half a cow together. So I've gotten. I've gotten close with Jonathan. This is the beef guy. But the mattress, the pillow with the cutout for your. If you're a side sleep sleeper, you can't. This is an unsolicited moment right now, but these matches are ridiculously good. And you can redo them. He builds them right there in the shop. And they're layered. So if you're like, this is a little too firm. He opens it up, pulls out the thing, puts it in another thing, and then when it wears out, open it up, pull it all out, put in new stuff. It's the last mattress.

[Brady]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, it's incredible. It's. It's awesome. But he won. John and Jonathan's, you know, local Arizona got guy bought into this thing. He just wants it to work. I'm telling you right now, it's outrageous. But. And now they've talked about that. I'll probably get commercials for Berlo anyway, so I Gotta get one. Oh, run. It's. It's over there in Glendale. I got two of them. That's outstanding. Like they're really good. Any in dog beds bought little dog bed, dog matches and you open it up and you can just see what's in there. You're like, oh, this all changes. And there's springs and all that. You can just change them out. It's a great technique, technology. But my TV will now advertise to me those beds because they know I was interested. And I've looked since it like maybe I'll get another bed frame and put it in there and have the rental house has. I need frames for that. So loading up on that stuff in the tail. But it hasn't learned yet. Even though it's catering to my needs for advertising. That WNBA action does not need to be in a multi view. Go yourself. You YouTube. Wasn't Trump just sitting there with all those tech giants a few days ago where they were kissing that dinner? Couldn't it. Could you just get it to where the WNBA isn't on multi view? I think that's a make America great again. And start by getting rid of the WNBA and my multi view.

[Brett]

Maybe your phone picked up how much we were talking about green dildos a couple weeks ago.

[John Holmberg]

That could be one hit. The hit the turf in Indianapolis yesterday.

[Brady]

If you saw that in Cleveland.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they throw in a Cleveland.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that was the most entertaining part of that. In fact, that's the longest play of the game. If somebody threw from the crowd to the field a green dildo and it went longer than 7 yards, that's longer than the Bengals had all through the second half. That had to be horrible to watch. Just horrible. Anyway, here's another thing. In the pregame interview with the. With Lamar Intelligence Jackson. That's what they call him. That's his new nickname. IA Internal Affairs. This guy gets it done. He's the smartest guy in the room. They asked him who his favorite player was growing up. I'm out of my game after Michael Vick. He was. He loves Michael Vick. Isn't that sort of the same as a running back saying I just love O.J. simpson? Isn't it off limits to say Michael Vick's your favorite? Shouldn't that be frowned upon? Like the dude did horrible stuff. Isn't it also kind of like saying Ray Carruth was a great route runner? Like you just can't say it anymore?

[Brady]

Yeah, but I guess if you match up his game.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, fine. It's similar but there were a lot of running backs who were similar to O.J. and after 19, 95, 96, you stopped saying O.J. was your favorite.

[Brady]

But Vic's back in the.

[John Holmberg]

No, I know, but you still don't say he's your favorite. You know, what's that guy's name? The. The murderer? Hernandez. Aaron Hernandez. You don't hear a lot of tight ends going. I model it all after Hernandez. Like, you just know better. After a massive felon felony and horrible killings of anything, George Kittle's trying to step up. Yeah. If Kittle said it's like, look, I know it's gonna fall on some deaf ears here, but nobody ran routes like Aaron Hernandez like, does. You just don't bring him up anymore. You ignore it. Justin Tucker can't even talk about.

[Brady]

I mean, one of the interviews was talking about there's gonna be a documentary coming out about the black quarterback.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's great. That's fine. But. And Michael Vick will be in there. But isn't it time, like, even the bills, when OJ. OJ's innocent, by the way. Or not guilty. OJ wasn't convicted. He ended up going to jail for something else. So he's. He's a pariah. The Bills took him off their ring of honor. You know, the hall of Fame had some. What do we do? Like, there was a whole lot of stuff that they just stopped. I still love when the Bills give out number 30, because I can't not see it. Like, when he's out and some dude jogs on the field, there's number 32 for the bills. You're like, that's awesome. That is the last number I would take if I was a Bill. I mean, you could have a hundred players on the team. You'd be like, what number's available? Only 32. I'll be double zero.

[Brady]

What are the chance of you making it?

[John Holmberg]

You're not making that team. No. If they give you 32.

[Brady]

Got it for three weeks.

[John Holmberg]

You're a preseason cut. Give him number 32. He won't be here long. We can't put that on the field. That's insanity. But Michael Vick should. Like, somebody should get in his ear and whisper, hey, dummy. Because that's how you have to start all conversations with him. No, you're talking to him and say, you can't say Michael Vick's your favorite. But again, they turned a blind eye to that whole thing. And before anybody emails and said, he did his time for racketeering, he dodged it. He did a terrible deal to get his time done for racketeering and maybe I think obstruction. That's what Ray Lewis did. Obstruction of justice. Ray Lewis got away with it.

[Brady]

He crashed the party.

[John Holmberg]

He got away with it last night. Yeah. And people still are like, but he didn't like, look as much as I think Ray Lewis did terrible stuff. He never got caught. Like he got in there. He got. He went to jail for obstruction of justice because he lied to the cops about who was there. Essentially. Ray wasn't a murderer. He is. But Michael Vick did reed the book. Michael Vick should not be in the public eye.

[Brady]

Justin Tucker's not guilty yet.

[John Holmberg]

Not yet. And he's completely banned Deshaun Watson. Nobody's going to say, oh, Deshaun Watson was my favorite quarterback. People don't associate him with being a great quarterback anymore. All I'm saying, Lamar, but you're dumb as a stump. So it's hard to stop saying, Michael, Vic's your favorite quarterbacks. There's been a lot of quarterbacks in the past of the best. Go with Doug Williams, Dante Culpepper. If you want to go down the or moon or moon the black quarterback route, just say so many have come before me to set the way. I mean Donovan, look, Donovan McNabb. There's. He's not like Michael Vick, like Lamar Jackson and Michael Vick do have that commonality. That stuff he did last night late in the game when he did that scramble and he was. It was a 70 yard run to get 19 yards on third and only 11. And it was just, it was a men amongst boys. He was toying with the defense. I, I text LSR at the time. I'm like, how is he that much more athletic than the NFL's defenses? Like any of the worst team in football. He shouldn't be able to just kind of, you know, like whenever you played street football with the one kid that was better than how quick. Remember when you played flag football and there was always that guy that just had that one little side move like we could. We can't catch him. We just can't catch him. He does that in the NFL. He's remarkable. He's dumb and I hate him with a passion. But there's no denying that some of, some of the stuff he does is beyond fast. His instincts are unmatched. Maybe the best of all time. Like it's unmatched to watch that guy do stuff to where he just subtly moves and guys fall down. It's incredible what he's doing, but he is dumb as a stump. And saying Michael Vick's your favorite player should be the same. Here's a fun fact.

[Brady]

It's a tough favorite.

[John Holmberg]

I understand Michael Vick used to take dogs that were suffering and pick them up by the legs and smash them into the ground until they were dead. Oh, Michael Vick used to like to take dogs and put them in puddles when they were incapacitated from the fights he made them do and attach electrodes to him and electrocute them in puddles of water to kill them. That's the Michael Vick that nobody talks about. That's the dude who did that regularly. He used to like to pick up the back legs and of a dog while another guy picked up the front legs of a dog and smashed their spines over posts. That's the Michael Vick that people don't talk about. That's the dude everybody's like, he did his time. No, he didn't. I know I'm a dog freak, but he shouldn't be mentioned in that kind of stuff at all. He shouldn't ever be brought up as a decent person again. He has to go live his life with that, rebuild it some other way. But the fact they turn a blind eye to all the things that guy did because they never really made it back public. You read that book, there's about seven pages that'll make you want to throw a punch through a concrete wall. So for him to sit there and nobody said, like, if I was the interviewer, like, who. Who do you model your game at? Who's your favorite player? Oh, growing up, Michael Vick was the best. He's my favorite. I'm like, you know, he smashed dog spines in half for fun. You remember that. Now, let's not bring up Michael Vick anymore because I don't associate him with football anymore. He. He kind of lost that right. And anyone else there got on his knees with about four minutes left, opened his mouth, and let the Bills have at that little face of his for 4 minutes and 23 seconds because he blew it again. Last two games he's played, the Bills have absolutely made him kneel. Oh, it's so good. I've got pictures of it from last night as he was walking off the field. My favorite one was Derrick Henry after the kick went through because he. He blew it. He's the one who fumbled the game away last night, which was great. And there's sad Lamar in his stupid skull cap that he wears. I hate that. There he is. I Took pictures of him every time he's sad. I love sad Lamar Jackson. Anyway. Yeah, go ahead and say Michael Vic's your favorite player.

[Brady]

He wears that. It reminds me of the Willy Wonka.

[John Holmberg]

In the safe room. In the clean room. Yeah, that's what. When he wears the white uniform and Lamar puts the safety hat on and his dumb little face pokes out of the hole. I can't stand him. But I will say this. He's no Michael Vick. And that's a good thing. Nobody should ever aspire to like that. He ruined the privilege of being mentioned as a great. Just. He could run. That's great. O.J. you can't really bring it up. Dude had 2,000 yards in 14 games. One year. We don't talk about O.J. nobody ever goes back. He's one of the greatest of all time. Yeah, he is. Let's ignore it. I think they kind of snuck him into that 100th anniversary season of the best players that ever played. He was like 16th or something like that. I was like, I know Jay Simpson's in there too. Next. They don't show. They're not showing a lot of highlights. They're not getting in on that thing. Let's do the same for Michael. Even though he does a pregame show and he's, you know, he's not even very good at that. Holmberg's morning sickness Medicate K U p D Holmberg's morning sickness. To get that, two things. Michael Vick needs to never be mentioned as like, oh, my favorite. And the WNBA can't be in multi views anymore, ever. So, yeah, spread the word about Michael Vick. Whenever somebody tries to say, oh, he didn't do anything, talk about it, read about, get to know what he did. Get to. Because he did it a lot. He oversaw an awful lot of horrible stuff and had no problem with it till he got caught at all. The other thing in sports that happened.

[Brady]

I was gonna say in the wnba, Caitlin Clark is out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she has been since July. Nobody knew.

[Brady]

And she'll still have the second most assists this year in the.

[John Holmberg]

She played two weeks.

[Brady]

Two weeks.

[John Holmberg]

She's like the assist leader for the whole season. Nobody caught her. Oh, I don't know that she stopped playing like July 15th and then just announced, I'm not coming back. And by the way, I'm probably going to win the triple Crown or whatever crap league this is. The other thing in sports that I want to talk about is the viral Phillies home run. Did you see that? Yeah. Horrible. Harrison Bader Hits a home run out into the outfield. There's Phillies. Yeah. There's some ups. There's some seats not sold. There's some people not there.

[Brett]

Harrison Miami.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, yeah, it's not fair. And the ball bounces around a little bit in there. And a guy runs over from his section and sees the ball bouncing, gets in front of this slow woman with a car. I mean, the ultimate Karen haircut with that lesbian gray. I think that's the name of it on the Clairol box Lesbian gray. And it kind of. It's more a bob, but it's also a. It's like a bi level. It looks like she's. She just jumped out of a 1988 yearbook. If, if, if you were to find a like Brady. If you had a fairy godmother back when you had your Subaru Outback.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And she came by and she said, I'll make you a mate. And then she tapped her magic wand onto your Outback. This is the woman that would have appeared. She's a human Subaru Outback. Look at her. She is a human Subaru Outback. So this guy goes over, he gets the ball that's rolling around in an aisle, picks it up, goes over and puts it in his kid's goal of Drew felt. Well, it was a kid's birthday. Here you go. Belated birthday present for you son. Happy birthday. Gives it to us. So what a great moment. Dad and son have this Subaru Outback. Human being comes over and goes, that's mine. Freaks out. And the dude literally jumps when she yells because I would yell at her.

[Brett]

He had his fists up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, cuz there was going on crazy angry little man. Absolutely. She thinks she's got a manageable haircut, but she looks like a little. That's my ball. You can't just go running over to another section. It's like you can't. Since when? So he just goes, you know what? Eff it pulls the ball out of the kid's glove, hands it to the lesbian. He just goes, look, son, that's the way we handle altercations. This meant a lot more to her than it does to me. Well, I don't know if you saw was in Philadelphia, but they were playing the Marlins, right?

[Brett]

Yeah, I thought it was in.

[John Holmberg]

It was in Philly because then the Phillies went up.

[Brady]

I think it says in Marlins game. It was in Florida.

[John Holmberg]

No, it wasn't Florida. Okay.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So anyway, they. They start giving them all sorts of stuff like this got viral immediately. Like everybody. It Was like that CEO got to meet Harrison Bader. The kid did.

[Brady]

Got a gift bag.

[John Holmberg]

They gave the family an rv.

[Brett]

Wait, what?

[John Holmberg]

That was on the Internet? Yeah, they had some sort of fundraiser thing and some RV went their way. They like got a car. I don't know if they're keeping it, but it was donated. Like. Like here. You need to travel the country in style now. Like what in the world?

[Brady]

And his final quote was amazing.

[John Holmberg]

What was that?

[Brady]

I hope that ball means a lot to her.

[John Holmberg]

Well, we get asked him, what do you feel?

[Brady]

You know, here's the play.

[John Holmberg]

This is a big. So the guy walks over and gets the ball. I mean nobody else even tried. Puts it in his son's glove. They hug the guy and then she runs over and grabs the him and he. He's like what the hell? And she is shouting him down. He's like, oh, it went right over there. I'm allowed in that row. And then the lesbian is furious. Oh, the. The Cruella de Vil hairstyle is a terrible idea. I want the top to be gray and I want underneath to be. Yeah. Right out of the kid's glove. And she seems okay with it.

[Brady]

Show the beginning again. I don't even see like where her justification for the scramble.

[John Holmberg]

There isn't any. It's just she's the closest one that couldn't get to it. She Dr. It. He came over and took it.

[Brett]

It's a scramble which is every home run or foul ball.

[John Holmberg]

And she flipped out cuz it fell out of her. I've watched a ball bounce off of a guy and get caught by someone else. And that's who keeps the ball.

[Brady]

The guy who catches it doesn't know how it works.

[John Holmberg]

No. Cuz she's crazy how many times it.

[Brady]

Gone out of three or four hands.

[John Holmberg]

You know what I hope? I hope that the dad turn to his son and say and that is why we hate lesbians. I mean what, the angry lesbian? Yeah, she's. She's out of her mind and we need to find. So there they are giving them cameras. Guys. Was a kid being his homer involved? So the Marlins went and gave him a bunch of prizes. Sure that he had a little price pack and some baseballs to make. And they put that up on the big screen too. And the crowd was all happy with it. Show the mean lesbian though excited. He's got a baseball there for both himself and his sister. As well as a. A goodie bag full of Never forget, don't trust a lesbian. And then they walked away. It was an amazing moment in Miami. Fans all around here. They put him up on the big screen. Meanwhile, Cruella DeVilla is one section over going by the Marlins. Nice. This is good stuff. Good things happen to good. I mean both kids brought their gloves.

[Brady]

Look at that.

[John Holmberg]

They both have their gloves. They're Phillies fans. It's one of their favorite players doing a real good job to hold it in.

[Brady]

Cuz.

[John Holmberg]

Wouldn't it have been better had it turned other way done that. Oh no.

[Brady]

If it was a Marlins family.

[John Holmberg]

Look, if that happened in Philadelphia, it would have been handled in the stands.

[Brett]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Would have got that far down in Miami in that resort town. That wouldn't happen. Yeah. I was reading last night on online that there was like some sort of weird gofundme that started. I don't even know if the family's involved in it. And they got an RV and some money and what the hell. But there he is at the end meeting Harrison Bader. Like they took him down into the. Yeah, this kid. Best thing that ever happened to him is that that lesbian went insane. And right now, ladies, if you're headed towards the hairdressers and you're like, oh, I'm getting the underneath part of my hair shaved and it's gonna be black and then I'm gonna have this weird gray mop on top top of it. You're going to look insane. No one looks good with that haircut. No one looks good with Cruella deville's hair. Do something smart about. Have you never seen the Disney movie? She's the villain. Don't go half black, half white. Sia got away with it cuz she's talented. You're not going to. You're an accountant or a lady who works at a title agency. You're not doing it. It's not working.

[Brady]

This ball thing catching at games or events is getting out of hand. And what CEO she.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, all CEOs. They're all. She will find out who she is. But did they get a name for the crazy.

[Brett]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What's her name?

[Brett]

Is it. I gotta find it.

[John Holmberg]

But. But then the dad went on some show.

[Brady]

No, they, they, they don't say it in this article.

[Brett]

It's out there though. Cuz I've.

[John Holmberg]

But you know, they just call her the Phillies.

[Brett]

From what I heard, she, she actually lost her job and everything like because of this. That's what I heard.

[John Holmberg]

Fantastic.

[Brett]

I'm looking into it right now.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not all for people losing their jobs for their reactions at a ballpark you don't know. She might have been. Been drunk. I don't think she's a fun.

[Brady]

That guy said everything right about, like, look, controversy. Son, Let me teach a lesson here.

[John Holmberg]

Well, in my opinion, he taught a lesson to his son to not stand up for himself. They should have kept that ball. In the end, it worked out better for him. But at that moment, you barked at lesbian.

[Brady]

His lesson, you know, to him saying, I wanted to set an example. How to de escalate a situation in front of my son.

[John Holmberg]

It's a woman at escalate. So you had to go through the metal detectors, too. Pretty sure you're gonna be right. And if she throws the first punch now you've got a lawsuit and a ball. It's a smart move.

[Brett]

It's got one of those hyphenated names, too. Cheryl Richardson Wagner. According to the Sporting.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Cause her and her partner had to marry, and they got hyphens. The hyphens come with a wedding ring. The. Yeah, my dad, Dan. Kurt, probably, too. The de escalation would have been, go yourself, lady. The ball's the kids now. You want to take it out of his glove, you do it. And then you get her pulling that out of the glove. I'd be like, look at this woman stealing my son's baseball. That would not have been a de escalation. The way he did it. That would have been. I would have definitely tried to escalate with that little lady. I wouldn't have punched her or anything, but she brought it over to me.

[Brett]

Well, they were booing her, and she was throwing the fingers up and everything.

[John Holmberg]

She's a horrible human being. Just Cruella De Ville. She's got the haircut, but yeah, I mean, in. In a way.

[Brady]

In the Phillies.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. She was a Phillies fan, too. I went to Kansas City last year to watch the Phillies and Royals play. The Phillies fans are loud and awful. Philadelphia people are 100% across the board that. But they were fun. Like, if a ball came their way, like, what they are is that terrible, like, loud person. But they protect children, like, in the weirdest way ever. Like, if anybody tried to take a ball from a kid, the whole place was. Would erupt. Not in Miami, evidently. They're a little calmer. But, man, she's a horrible woman.

[Brady]

Not enough people there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that must have been it. But there's no way. I know. Kurt would have probably fought.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The lesbian. My dad. I don't. Your dad probably would have been like, you know what? You can go yourself. It would have been awesome to hear Torp do that. Go ahead, try to take the ball out. It's like stealing a grilled cheese from my son. Good luck. This ball's mine, ma'. Am. That would have been a fun fight to watch. Brady's built a little like a lesbian. This lesbian is a lesbian.

[Brady]

She wouldn't have taken away.

[John Holmberg]

No, she wouldn't have gotten me. She wouldn't have gotten. At 10 years old, your eyes just looking up at her like, go ahead, make my day. Hey, look at that lady wrestle him. He's strong as an ox.

[Brett]

Here's another angle that somebody just posted because apparently she starts saying the ball was to me or something like that.

[John Holmberg]

It wasn't to you. It didn't have, like, a ribbon on it.

[Brady]

She missed her opportunity.

[John Holmberg]

She dropped it it. Yeah. And then ran over to him. That's her man she's screaming. You took it from. Maybe he did. You weren't in the same.

[Brett]

Move faster.

[John Holmberg]

Y be better.

[Brady]

Oh, hope that's not her husband that was next to her.

[John Holmberg]

Don't worry about that. Oh, geez.

[Brett]

Not anymore.

[John Holmberg]

Ready?

[Brady]

Oh, I'm not.

[John Holmberg]

That wasn't her husband. Her brother, maybe as a co worker. That woman doesn't have a husband.

[Brady]

No chain.

[John Holmberg]

There's no way. There's no maybe.

[Brady]

It used to be she bought a single ticket.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she. She was there by herself. Her. Her mate was probably outside protesting something. They're. They're those active, horrible people speaking. It's the haircut. I just. That haircut has to go. You immediately announce yourself as the world's worst, worst person. I love the act of lesbianism. I think it's a fantastic and beautiful thing given to us by Brady's God. But when the haircut happens and then that starts to go. You just went to, like, sports clips for lesbians. And then you walk out of there and you look like Cruella de Vil. Don't do it, Skunk. Yeah, you say skunk. I'm with the skunk look. And so many women in their 50s and 60s do that. They're mad at men. They've gone through their second divorce. They don't. The future looks dim. And they get that weird gray and black hair on purpose. And you know what happens? They sit at Postinos with their friends. I don't know. I just needed a change since Greg. I think I'm just going to go to women. Well, you got the right haircut for it. And then all their friends go, oh, it's great. Yeah, I just think it's fun. It's fun and it's easy. Yeah, well, you're neither of those two things now.

[Brady]

Give me my ball.

[John Holmberg]

Give me my ball back. I like it though, because that's the one good and bad thing about, about all this. Cameras everywhere. You out the horrible people and then sometimes you feel really bad for some folks who did something dumb and because.

[Brady]

The other one was at the US Open.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that year, stole that hat. Who first came out and said, oh.

[Brady]

Yeah, I'm doing it for my kid. But then he goes. He had two excuses right off.

[John Holmberg]

Look, he, he. All that guy needed to do, he stole the hat from that little boy. Cuz they're from the same country. The tennis player and the, the guy. Poland.

[Brady]

Poland, right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And he just swiped it. He got fanboy. He got too excited and he just. Everything was. Went blank. Yanked it away and he yanked it away. And that little boy's like, I think he was giving that to me and he just. And he stuffed it in a bag like he acted like it wasn't there. And then instead of just saying, dude, I lost my mind. I got so enamored and I screwed up. So whatever that kid needs, I'll. I'll get him one. I'll give him the hat. I feel horrible. But he came out with excuses. And people are like, you're just a jerk. He was a CEO. CEOs are horrible.

[Brady]

Well, that's the thing that they're coming out with now. CEOs. CEOs.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's just not nice. Every time they're on TV outside of their jobs, they're doing terrible stuff to children. Or you can't have affairs anymore. Yeah, you can't even have a good CEO affair anymore because Coldplay will show you. And of all of them, that's the only one I kind of feel sorry for. Because we don't know their story at home. We don't know their true lies.

[Brady]

Well, you have, you know, two, and it's like three in a row. I think someone left. It was McDonald's last year. The CEO for an affair.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Like you just can't have.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, no, you can't have on tv. That guy got caught on screen. It's one thing to get caught in an affair. It's another to have the world get you and then you lose your job. That's not fair. Taking baseballs and hats and stuff from kids at sporting events, that's just never. It doesn't matter what you're going through. At home. You can't do that if you're at the front row of the US Open. Happen you're not as downtrodden and you can't use excuse Life's got me down. It's like, no, you were having a nice day.

[Brady]

And you see it. I mean, when, you know, even shooting those T shirts back in the day. Oh my God, it's like you're shooting them.

[John Holmberg]

I watched a gold bar, a mountain of a woman at a Coyotes game back when they were at the arena downtown and they had a blimp that used to float tickets from movies.

[Brett]

I remember that.

[John Holmberg]

And a big fat lady. And I mean before everybody was fat. This is the late 90s when people were still sort of okay, in shape. Not like today, before bbls. And she had one naturally, it was massive. And she did a tumble two, like bounced off of a row and fell a row ahead of that and picked up the ticket. And a little kid was standing next to her like, you can have it. Like she was the rock from. But because of Raiders of the Lost Ark, she just kept rolling down the hills. But she took it and picked it up. You know what it was for? 1 admittance to a movie that wasn't special engagement at AMC Theaters. So it had to be a movie that was out for a little while. It was like $4 turn around. At the time it was like a 4.

[Brady]

Get into it.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, you could get in. You're getting in. There's no sellouts on these. It was every movie that's like, we're. This is about to leave the theaters, but you can go to it.

[Brett]

It's about to hit the dollar theaters.

[John Holmberg]

Remember when it was like the first couple weeks, movies that came out were Special Engagement. You couldn't use coupons or anything like that. They were given and they're floating down like. Like they. They like little kites and they're flying all over like butterflies. And this fat lady fell two rows and there's a little kid there. I thought she was going to kill him. She didn't care.

[Brady]

And because of that, a blimp. Canceled the blimp.

[John Holmberg]

They stopped doing the blimp. They're like, there's. We're gonna have some fat American's getting too fat to have them chase flying paper through the air like butterflies. She got lost. That was hers. Like in her mind, she's like, I'm catching that and I'm moving heaven and earth to do it. And kids had to move and people got like, she fell down ahead of them. Thank God it was a Coyote's game. No one was there. She felt two solid, empty aisles ahead. And then, of course, me and I think I was with my friend Marca. We were laughing the whole time, because watching a fat lady fall two aisles, that's hard to do. There's only space for one fall. She bounced off the one set of seats and went another aisle ahead. And then still managed to. She got her ticket. And then everybody's like, what is it? What is it? What a dream. Admittance to an AMC theater. Non special engagement film. Not on a weekend. This sucks. And she had bruises all over. And that wasn't from the fall. It was from the 10 pound, 10 foot sticks people used to poke her with, keep her away.

[Brett]

Anyway, apparently there's somebody on Facebook with that name, and she just posted. Yeah. Saying that.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, everyone, I'm not the crazy Philly mom, but I sure would love to be as thin as she is. What? And move as fast. I'm a Red Sox fan. So. Cheryl Richardson Wagner, the Red Sox fan, admittedly.

[Brett]

And then she posted.

[John Holmberg]

So that.

[Brett]

I guess that's her.

[John Holmberg]

That's what she looks. Oh, that looks just like her. She's got that same hair.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They all look like Beth McDonald's. Everybody looks like Beth with her husband. Everyone is Beth. Oh, my God, the whole world, all women in their 50s and 60s are turning into Beth McDonald from Kez. Yeah. And if I'm talking to you right now, and you're a lady with the gray hair with the shaved underneath that's black. We'll get that fixed. Everybody.

[Brett]

Right now.

[John Holmberg]

Right now. Nobody thinks that looks good. It isn't fun. You're gonna. It's fun. No, it isn't. I think it's just fun. It's easy and it's fun. I just get up and I go, it's not fun. You look crazy. And you're gonna. You're gonna go crazy. That hair makes you crazy. Certain haircuts immediately make you crazy. So even if you do something a little bit off, it amplifies it by, like, a thousand. So keep saying that. Oh, it's fun. People think it's fun. It's not. Nobody thinks it's fun. Nobody just has the courage to be like me and say, you look like a crazy lesbian.

[Brady]

It's fun.

[John Holmberg]

Now give me my ball. Yeah, it's fun because that hair will make you crazy. It's like. It's like that monkey paw, you know? You think it's fun that you're gonna go nuts. By the third wish. I don't know. I just went in there and I told him. I said, rahul, just do something fun. Greg and I aren't together anymore. So I just want to be fun. Make it easy. Make it simple. Make it black and white. Make me cruel. I'm gonna steal from children. Fun. If you say that about your hair, deep down you know it's not fun. Cuz that just basically means you cut off all your femininity. It's fun. Is the minute you gotta divorce your wife. If Mathias ever came home with a fun haircut, it's over. Yeah.

[Brett]

Cordell and Cordell.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. Where'd your hair go? I cut it off. It's fun.

[Brady]

Don't leave your house, Brett.

[John Holmberg]

Fun for who? It's not fun for me. I'm dating a boy. It's fun. You look like the Beatles. What happened to your hair? Never cut. If you. If you have short hair. You can have short hair. If it's thin started short. If you've ever had long hair, don't cut your hair. It's not fun. You look like a fraggle or a beetle when it's over. And you're the one who has to convince everybody you're having a good time. That's why your hair became fun. Hair's not fun. That's you feeling fun. It's so much fun. It's fun. Yeah, that's what you keep saying that out loud. It's never going to be true. Then you look at women with beautiful hair and you get men mad at him. And then your stupid fun haircut turns you into a nut bag who starts stealing baseballs from kids. It's the haircut. What did this. Not to mention probably Greg, her ex husband that pushed her towards lesbianism. Whatever that guy did. I don't need a man. Oh boy. Here we go and get a fun haircut. And I don't need a man. Oh God. She's intolerable. None of. None of you have fun hair. Nothing's fun. Unless it's like. It's like hair sprayed so heavy. It's like motorcycle handlebars. That's the only hair I can think of that would be fun. No guy's ever said that. My wife. She's got fun hair. It's never been a thing. It's not. There's no such thing. It's fun. Fun is a swing or a slide. It's never your hair. Ever. Ever. Don't ever cut it. You look like a nut. Brett. What do you got on the big Board of musical truth.

[Brett]

All right, Action Dried shop. Bringing you guys the wake up song. It looks like we're out of the hundred and teens.

[Brady]

Does it?

[Brett]

Yeah, that's. That's what I'm hearing.

[John Holmberg]

So weather lied all week. Last week Brett was supposed to be under 100 for the next two weeks. And it's 101 today, 104 yesterday, 101.

[Brett]

Not in the teens.

[John Holmberg]

Miserable.

[Brett]

Get those early morning bike rides in, get those evening bike rides in and go to Action Ride Shop and get everything you're going to need for those rides. New bike, you need the gear, whatever. They got all the things that you're going to need at two locations over there at Gilbert Road and Southern the OG and of course the one right off the Hawes trailhead at power Road in McDowell.

[John Holmberg]

It is Action Ride Shop.

[Brett]

ActionRide Shop.com.

[John Holmberg]

Sean Phils asked what's the guy equivalent to that haircut? And he suggests it's the flat top. I think he might be on to something there. If a dude just goes from like having nice hair to a flat top, 50s buzz cut, looks like a shooter from the 50s and like a clock tower guy or. Yeah.

[Brett]

Or he's got a haircut like, like Thriller.

[John Holmberg]

Thriller like went Lee Harvey Oswald with his hair. Yeah. It's just drastic. Yeah. Look, if you ever meet a guy and he's like, well, I really like her. She's got fun hair. It's like it's that we're basically calling you crazy. Never describe it. Brett, I want you to date this girl I know. Oh yeah, describe her. Oh, she's got a great body face. Good job. Fun hair. No dude ever. What's wrong with her? Fun hair? What do you mean? Oh my gosh. She just got a cut because her last boyfriend was drove her through. She's mentally insane. So she cut her hair real short and then she dyed it gray and then underneath bleached like all the shaved parts black or dyed that black. Great.

[Brett]

I gotta go meet her at Title 9 for our first date or wants.

[John Holmberg]

To meet you at the arena and wait for autographs from the WNBA players as they leave on their tricycle or whatever they go their transport. I know it's not nice cars. They all leave and like opals.

[Brett]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

On the list.

[Brett]

Salt and pepo. What a man for John Juno's Villa.

[John Holmberg]

I like that. Juno's Villa is a good name for me.

[Brett]

Rollins band Liar for your story. Cuz nobody believes you put those light bulbs.

[John Holmberg]

It should be up on Facebook right now. I did it myself. And you can see my equipment.

[Brett]

Sleep Token, the warning. Pantera. Five minutes alone for the Phillies. K, Karen, A.C. d.C. Metallica, Del Shannon, Handyman. I don't know that song. Judas Priest, Electric Eye for your lights, Lightning crashes.

[John Holmberg]

Handyman is James Taylor, isn't it? I don't know.

[Brett]

That's what that guy wrote.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't look.

[Brady]

Yeah, yes, that one.

[Brett]

But I didn't look into it. But I think Primal concrete wedge is pretty appropriate for your concrete worth this weekend.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Handyman is. I. I'm pretty sure that. I mean, I can look it up. Taylor Handyman. I don't know if that's a. I'm pretty sure that's James. Yeah, that's James Taylor. That's the. Hey, guys.

[Brett]

Well, there is a.

[Brady]

There is a Del Shannon version too, for Del Shannon.

[John Holmberg]

Del Shannon's got a handyman as well. I don't need a handyman anymore. Self sufficient, DIY guy. Jesus. I've never heard Del Shannon's Handyman. Same song? Yeah, the same one as James. I didn't know this was a remake. How old is our audience? Play a little Del Shannon this morning. Like, okay. How are you still alive? How old are you? I'm 108. I just wanted to hear a little Del Shannon this morning. Great conversation about the fun air. I thought that was funny. All right, see you. My wife did that back in the 30s. All right, whatever. Whatever. You want to pick.

[Brett]

Well, a couple came in for your primal concrete sludge, so.

[John Holmberg]

All right, let's do it. Primal concrete sledge. It's a little loaded up or you loaded? I don't know who's got it?

[Brett]

It's probably not in the system.

[John Holmberg]

Is that a cussy mess, too? I don't think so. I don't remember. Boy, oh boy. Yeah. And I'll put. We'll post the pictures of my work this weekend. You will be blown away. And I know what's going to happen. Happen in the comments. Well, you didn't do some blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All right, look, you're just jealous you didn't get hired and that I did such a great job. So pipe it. Is what I say to you. Zip was amazing.

[Brady]

So the song Handyman was written by Jimmy Jones and Otis Blackwell, and then Del Shannon recorded it.

[John Holmberg]

Jerry Jones. Who?

[Brady]

Jimmy Jones and Otis Black.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay.

[Brady]

In 1959.

[John Holmberg]

I like the James Taylor version. Listen to what I'm putting down. Hey, baby, I'm your handyman. I should sing that as I'm finishing Up the lights later today. Yeah, I'm not the kind to use a pencil rule I'm handy with love and I'm no fool yeah. This is all. I think they wrote this for me. Perfect. You got it loaded? Yep. Let's do it. In the meantime, we'll jump into a modern era rather than the Del Shannon days. While you drive around your woody looking for the closest surf contest. I don't know who that guy was. Is Brian Wilson alive again and just calling in requests. It's time for a little Pantera here. Primal concrete sledge. Knock it out. Arizona's most powerful rocket out of control now. 98K, you PD morning sickness. I'm getting you guys asking me about the mattresses. Cuz I went over to that Verlo place, talked to Jonathan over there and then other people emailing me about what? About that side of beef you were talking about. He's. Jonathan gave me a delivery. Delivered. He should include that. He delivered the mattresses to the rental. And he goes, hey, I just want to give you the. He gave me some. He buys a half a cow like from some farm. I don't know. He's related to the guy. He's been in the city forever. He's native, so he's not native American, but native to the city, which I guess makes him native in his own way. He brought me this ground beef and I'm thinking about getting half a cow with him because that was the best. He should just give you beef every time you get a mattress. Jonathan, you should think about that. Buy a mattress. I'll give you some of my freezer.

[Brett]

Sounds like a car dealership.

[John Holmberg]

You'll be blown away. You'll sleep like a baby with a belly full of Alice Cooper guitar. Don't do that. People. You want people to actually show up. It was delicious. So yeah. Anybody who's got. Have you ever done that? Brady? A year. The one I should ask. Have you ever been bought a half a cow before? You would do that back before?

[Brady]

Not a cow. A pig.

[John Holmberg]

You bought a whole pig or half a pig?

[Brady]

Half.

[John Holmberg]

And just kept it in the freezer?

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Not allowed to do that anymore. You're done with that?

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

But it was worth it was this half a cow thing. Seems reasonable. I have to buy a freezer for it, but I can't put it in the house.

[Brady]

And I've. And I know I have a couple of friends that do that every year on the cow thing.

[John Holmberg]

Man, this stuff.

[Brady]

I swear by.

[Brett]

Oh I one it go for I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. Jonathan, I will tell you this.

[Brady]

You know, if you hear from the person, the person that buys it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Make sure it's good. The processing of it, the butchering and the.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, no, trust me. He gave me some.

[Brady]

Cuz. Cuz a couple people have gotten it before and it was. Oh, I got a great deal on.

[John Holmberg]

It, but there's like a snout in it. Hair. Yeah. This is perfect. He brought me some ground beef and it comes in one of those.

[Brady]

Like, don't skimp on that.

[John Holmberg]

It's like that tube. And I opened up the top and I start to squeeze it out and it's good for like three or four patties. I just started to make one and I can't handle raw ground beef. I eat it, I don't cook it. It feels good in my hands and I love the smell of raw meat. So I just started to funnel it out of that tube into my mouth like it was cake icing. Yeah, cake icing. Or those frost. Yeah, Like, I just put that meat in my mouth and I squeezed. No, but it was those little freezy pops. I was squeezing and I realized what I was doing was, like, disgusting. I ate a pound of ground beef right out of the package and it was amazing. So then I flash fried the other two just because I don't like. I. I like raw meat. And I hit it on the grill. It's the. It is literally the best meat I've ever had. And it's from the mattress guy.

[Brady]

Not cheap, but it'll last you. It's a couple grand for.

[John Holmberg]

Is it two grand for half a cow? Yeah. We were going to go 50, 50 on half a cow. And then I told Stebbings about it. My buddy Mark's like, I'm in on that. And he just turned to his wife and he goes, you want to buy half a cow? Why do you got to ask her? Just bring home a half a cow. She should be thrilled. It's. But again, two people, Brady and Brett were asking about the mattresses. Yeah. I'm telling you. Also ask Jonathan over there about the meat. They don't sell that at Furlough Mattress. But he's a. He's good at it and he knows where to get it.

[Brady]

Is there a special on one or the other? If you.

[John Holmberg]

The meat? Yeah.

[Brady]

Well, if you buy a mattress, do you get a special on the meat?

[John Holmberg]

And if you buy meat, do you.

[Brady]

Get a special on the mattress?

[John Holmberg]

Laying on all the mattresses were just slabs of cow. He's over in Glendale I'm telling you, man, my tuft and needle deal dried up because they got bought out by Sealy. So then they just became. Which is fine, but I getting close to needing a new one because it's been a long time. And then I started to get these for the rental property, and they are awesome. Look into it. If you're in the area, go to the store because they've got all the beds laid out. And get one of those side sleeper pillows. You can't. Anyway, I'm done with that.

[Brett]

I need to get one of those.

[John Holmberg]

Grab some meat. Oh, it's the best. Got that cutout in the center. You just jam your shoulder onto it.

[Brady]

It's good.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my. Oh, yeah. Cuz you. You don't. Yeah, you don't have to, like, jam. It's.

[Brady]

I don't need it. I want it.

[John Holmberg]

You don't need it. You can't sleep on your side. You sleep on your back.

[Brady]

Kick that hose.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You'll suffocate. You sleep on your side.

[Brady]

I. Yeah. I started this. Not the last two weeks. Didn't have that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, you're on your back right now. I know your side sleeper. You look like a guy did a little.

[Brady]

Try a little side thing.

[John Holmberg]

Not ready.

[Brady]

Almost there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. A little more stomach muscle inside sleeper. And then you think you got to tighten up.

[Brady]

You feel like things are. You feel like you just got a open bag of innards just rolling around.

[John Holmberg]

That's disgusting. Don't say that. No, you don't. I've never felt that way, but okay, you know how. Did he say n words?

[Brett]

No, I would have been laughing if that was true.

[John Holmberg]

You know how. You know you're a little out of shape? As if you disguise your. Your stomach is described as.

[Brady]

It goes through your mind. You're wondering things. How loose is stuff.

[John Holmberg]

It's not strapped down anymore. You lost a couple anchors in there. Well, you look good. Feeling good. Yeah. All right. We're two weeks away. Tomorrow's two weeks from when you got your kidney ripped. Feeling good. Brady brought this up. I'll talk about it. Brady's a cancer survivor. Like, that's cancer. Right. You had cancer in that kidney. Right. And you struggle with that phrase.

[Brady]

It doesn't feel that way because you.

[John Holmberg]

Didn'T go through anything. Yeah. Yeah. You had, like, you feel. Yeah.

[Brady]

I don't put myself in the category of people that went through hell on.

[John Holmberg]

Recovery, but right though you're.

[Brady]

They excised it before it got to you.

[John Holmberg]

And, you know, this. This. This building here not one email. Not one, like, hey, Brady's in there. Let's all root for Brady or if you want to contact him or whatever. I know if Chat, GPT or Iswal did something like that, they'd have, like, parties. And, like, I want to rub salt.

[Brady]

But I got a nice card from them for my mom.

[John Holmberg]

Did you really? I got.

[Brady]

I got a card last. Oh, you did?

[John Holmberg]

From who?

[Brady]

Monday, from Emily and the sales staff, and I heard people from the station.

[John Holmberg]

From Emily. Emily threw it. Yeah. The higher up should have known about this. Should have gotten a call from the owner. Should have gotten a call from the owner. I'll say it. You can be nice about it. I don't have to be, because I know if the KSLX show had something going on, first off, they'd had, like, candlelight vigils for each other the whole morning. You're selling hot dogs out front. I've been doing some sort of fundraising.

[Brett]

Old hot dogs.

[John Holmberg]

You know why they were do. Yeah. You know why we don't get that kind of love is because we treat things like men. Brady went at this like, I got cancer and my kidney's got to come out and I might not make it. And I got a whole bunch of stuff. I need a transplant, blah, blah, blah. And we took it, and we grabbed Brady by the legs and we smashed him into a wall and joked about it and had fun with it instead of making it some sad. You know what? What? To remember Smiley and Sims at the Zone, the new guys. Imagine how they had a whole week's shows of crying because Smiley broke up with his girlfriend. Anything happened to them, a little bit adversarial. And it was a whole week's worth of sobbing and bosses calling ahead of the curve. Oh, they were ahead of the curve when it came to being women on the air. I just lost my. This was an exact phrase a grown man used on the radio in 2000. I'm having a rough go. What is it, Dave? That's. That's my Greg Sims impression. I lost my. My sweetie baby pumpkin pie last night, and he started to cry because his girlfriend left him the night before. Brady comes in with a ball of death inside his kidney. Gonna get my kidney removed. Need a trip transplant. Not changing my diet, not doing anything about it. And this company's like, just let him go. He'll be all right. I'm not telling the bosses about this. Brady needs a trip. Was good trip. Checked in. He was nice. The owners of this place needed it. You needed a. You need A little bit more sympathy, like hugs and sit downs and we love yous and stuff. Like, I was handing out. I was handing him out like crazy. Also trying to keep an eye on his diet.

[Brady]

Listeners were amazing.

[John Holmberg]

Listeners were awesome. Yeah.

[Brady]

I don't know what that feels like.

[John Holmberg]

Should have been an email welcoming you back. And you too. Like, yeah, Toledo had that. Yeah. Listeners don't like me. They care that you. That's just my personal opinion. If I get cancer and then I come out of it smelling like a rose, like Brady is over there and he's still got work to do. I'm calling the owner. I'm like to hear about my cancer.

[Brady]

Shaking his head when you said he's got work to do.

[John Holmberg]

He does.

[Brady]

He knows not only work, but, you know, you say the cancer, who knows what happens?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You don't know if there's more.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That and the fact you're facing this whole transplant situation.

[Brady]

The fact that it is cancerous.

[John Holmberg]

Someone has to die for you to live. And here we do. Selling that show every day. Yeah, that's a fact. Brady's watching the news for rollover car wrecks.

[Brady]

Are we gonna have the family in when? Oh, yeah, when he gets that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's gonna be a SOB festival. No, that's what other shows would do. We're gonna dodge those people like the plague. They can't come in here. That's just creepy. Taking advantage of it. Yeah, you should go. Hey. Hey, owners. You hear about my cancer? Yes, we did, Brady. Thanks for the card.

[Brady]

About als, Matt.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, als Matt got more support. Sorry I'm on a tirade for Brady. I think the. The crew up north should send down some flowers at the very least. Or some of those Christmas turtles they got laying around. Those are kidding. You can't have any anymore. But I'll eat them in your stead. Oh, my God. It's 8 11. Hurry up, Brady. It's time for the break. Brady Report. All Brady's dying talk has got us.

[Brett]

Way to go, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's late.

[Brady]

Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

It's time for the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends at allpro/allprochade.com that is where you get your shade taken care of all. Boy, last night I had that big umbrella in the backyard. I was so happy with it. Created all that shade. And at the end of the night, what did I have to do? Go outside and hump that thing back to normal? Place it in its spot manually? Brady's got it figured out out there too. Last work you put the umbrella up, it puts itself back. That's awesome. Do you have timers on yours? No. You can get them. You can? Yeah, sure. You can say, I want these out there till like six at night. Then we're gonna be inside. Oh, it's perfect. All pro shades got you covered in a world of comfort and shade. Now that it's like 99 degrees outside, you can dump it down 15 degrees and have perfect weather in your yard. Thanks to your [e-mail] get it done today. Hey, Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Hello, world. Howdy.

[Brady]

Happy National Ampersand Day.

[John Holmberg]

The ampersand made a strong comeback in the last few years. The AT symbol and the ampersand have been.

[Brady]

Has been used since the 1st century AD flat.

[John Holmberg]

What's the first thing you think of with an ampersand in it? Usually it's a company.

[Brady]

Like right now, I think a penance Teller.

[John Holmberg]

Pen and Teller. They use it. Yeah. Mine is Laverne and Shirley. I always think of their little. The ampersand. Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

When you said it right away, it. It's not even in there, but I don't think so. Buck and Rider, but nope.

[John Holmberg]

You'Re just hungry. Yeah.

[Brady]

You just want some food.

[John Holmberg]

You could actually eat. Eat that.

[Brady]

Some of it, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Fish. Yeah. You're good at that. I'm proud.

[Brady]

Baseless fun.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, I'm proud of you. You've been doing good. As far as I know, you're putting on a good show. At least.

[Brady]

29 of male gamers prefer playing as female characters, particularly older male players. Overall, 48 of the guys prefer playing as males. 20, 22% have no preference.

[John Holmberg]

Do any? No. Nobody in this room watched Black Mirror. No. There's an episode where two friends are it's future. So they're playing games online, but you have this chip and it sends you into the game, and one of the dudes is playing as a girl, and it's the other dude's best friend. And they start making out in the game and. And you get all the feelings and sensations of what's happening in the game. And then they realize, is this because we like each other so much or because our characters are hot? So they give gay a chance and realize it's wrong for them, but it ruins their lives.

[Brady]

On the other side of it, it says 9% of female players prefer playing as male characters. Overall, 76% of women prefer playing as females. 11% have no preference.

[John Holmberg]

I just got a text from your Dr. Brady. It says Good news. We have a donor. A kidney donor. And we can put it in, right? Oh, hey, wait. Oh, oh. A lady from Philadelphia just took it. Oh, that's terrible. Philly lady just stole Brady's kidney.

[Brady]

It takes 27,000 trees to make all the toilet paper the world goes through in one day. If you expand that out, it's 9.8 million trees per year for toilet paper. That's mind boggling.

[John Holmberg]

It's big paper. I've been talking about it for years. South park did their episode about it. We need to get rid of it. Everything needs to be bidets, showers and soap. By the way, Scott Blamer just fired off of Mice and Men for his ampersand, which drastically makes me look stupid compared to him because he went Steinbeck literature and I went Lowell Gans and Babalu Mandel's classic Laverne and Shirley.

[Brady]

The world record for the most people on a commercial flight is 1088. The number also included two babies that were born on the flight. What?

[John Holmberg]

Calcutta to where?

[Brady]

Yeah. El Al Airlines helped evacuate Ethiopian Jews in 1991 and flew them to Israel. They had to. They fit that many people in there.

[John Holmberg]

Sro. They removed all the seats just standing.

[Brady]

Packed them in, and I have to buckle up over Las Vegas. Are you're still taking that flight, right, to get out of there?

[John Holmberg]

Me? Yeah.

[Brady]

I mean, like, if you're in that thousand people on that flight, I'm like, I think we can make that spirit.

[Brett]

No, I'm good.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm basically. Look, I'm an Ethiopian Jew in the 90s. I'm pretty sure I've hung myself already. That doesn't seem like I'm already Ethiopian, which means I'm starving. And I've also chosen being Jewish as my faith, and that's frowned upon over there. Last thing I'm gonna do is cram onto a plane and they took him to Israel. Yeah, Just dropped them off. Off.

[Brady]

They had to jump. They all had to jump.

[John Holmberg]

Even the babies. The newborns strap little. All you need is like a bash's bag for that. Put it on his shoulders and throw them out. This little parachute.

[Brady]

According to food and wine.

[John Holmberg]

I want to test that.

[Brady]

Here's what your go to drink order says about you.

[John Holmberg]

Basically, water, your go to drink, your go to group. Yeah, I got you.

[Brady]

If you order water, waiters will assume you're either focused on hydration or wanting to save money. You're cheap, but there's a range. If you order tap water, you're down to earth. Sparkling water says you're up for an adventure. Cosmopolitan with Brett.

[John Holmberg]

It.

[Brady]

If you order a Cosmo, this you're extra fancy. Possibly a huge Sex in the City fan like Brett said.

[John Holmberg]

Brett was right. Right.

[Brady]

Say about Midori sours.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, don't do that to Larry. He doesn't need that right now.

[Brady]

Hot tea.

[John Holmberg]

What does it say about. Can we get all the drinks?

[Brady]

No, it just. It gave me four or five. Hot tea says if you order hot tea, it says you're introspective, sincere, and you know how to take care of yourself.

[John Holmberg]

You're British.

[Brady]

Tito's and Vodka.

[John Holmberg]

That's me. Tito's is vodka.

[Brady]

If you order Tito's and Vodka.

[John Holmberg]

You bought Tito's is vodka.

[Brady]

I know. This is the point. They're saying people will order Tito's and vodka.

[John Holmberg]

No, they don't.

[Brady]

No, it's not Tito's and Vodka. If you order Tito's and vodka, according.

[John Holmberg]

To them wine, it's a misprint.

[Brady]

Your bartender will make fun of you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Because it's already vodka.

[John Holmberg]

It's not an order. Yeah. If you say Tito's and vodka, you're. You're 19 and you're trying to basically.

[Brady]

Order a double vodka.

[Brett]

You're getting Tito's and then Kamchaka.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't know what that is. Well, stuff is. If anybody orders Tito's and Vodka, the bartender goes, what do you mean, soda?

[Brady]

What does Yoohoo say?

[John Holmberg]

I'm curious about if you drink a lot of Yoohoo at a restaurant. Want. Yeah. Spectrum one. Yeah.

[Brady]

Probably not at a restaurant.

[John Holmberg]

They read it a fourth grade level. You're 12.

[Brady]

The term clock botching is trending. People who don't seem to agree with what it means, though you got a writer in the UK coined it last month and said it was when you work more hours than you, you should because you can't get through all of your work. But a writer for Forbes defined it as when you're stretching small tasks into entire afternoons just to fill your day avoiding work. Here's something off your Averlo mattress deal.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

According to this report, 47% of Americans would pay more for a vacation that helps them sleep.

[John Holmberg]

They'd fly somewhere else to sleep, huh?

[Brady]

Yeah. They basically would look for places to go that would are. Yeah. You could have more sleep. Even if it's a camping trip where it's based upon getting rest and relaxation.

[John Holmberg]

The whole point of a vacation.

[Brady]

That's. That's the point of it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

But you ask people most of the time on their vacation.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's why I don't like vacations. They're more stressful than just staying home.

[Brady]

If you're looking for a sleepy getaway. The report named Portland, Oregon the most well rested city.

[John Holmberg]

Cuz they're high all the time. The whole city smokes pot.

[Brady]

Madison, Wisconsin, St. Paul, Min. Minnesota scored West.

[John Holmberg]

Well.

[Brady]

Philadelphia ranked as the sleepiest city. And not in a good way.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because they never get any rest because they're always busy being jerks, throwing batteries. Yeah. Thinking of horrible things to do to somebody.

[Brady]

Uber has started testing a new form of payment. Cash.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brady]

That's how Uber says the idea is to expand access to people without bank accounts. No, but drivers are concerned because they.

[John Holmberg]

Get a lot of cash. Now they're robbed. That's stupid. There's going to be those.

[Brady]

So they're cash acceptors in there.

[John Holmberg]

I still don't get a machine. Full account still bad.

[Brady]

La, San Diego, Dallas and Orlando.

[Brett]

All the places you shouldn't do that.

[Brady]

Well, and so if it passes there.

[John Holmberg]

Here's the thing.

[Brady]

Back to being a cat.

[John Holmberg]

What kind of company is catering to the people with no bank accounts crowd? Like, why in the world is your company like, you know who we need to really go after people with absolutely no money. Let's. Let's start spending marketing cash on that. People with no bank accounts aren't taking Uber people.

[Brett]

Uber is not driving to Compton anymore.

[John Holmberg]

So anytime soon, it's like, who doesn't have any? Like, if you don't have a bank account, where are you going?

[Brett]

Which is. It's crazy because it's the opposite. Like a lot of the venues now don't accept cash at all concerts and everything else. So like Uber's going the opposite.

[John Holmberg]

That's. Yeah. I don't understand. Catering to people who aren't using your company and because they don't have any money, it's not because you've made it hard. I would use Uber with all of this cash I have. You're just going to get robbed.

[Brady]

Got a Florida man that in trouble. Roman Rai is his name. 50 years old. He was arrested this week on several charges. Attempted murder, false imprisonment, criminal mischief, battery, and discharging a firearm at a residential property. This woman walked up to his house, started walking up the driveway. Roman thought an intruder after firing 17 shots. None of them hit.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brady]

He then grabbed the woman by the arm, pulled her in, held her down, called the police.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. 17 misses. Yeah. Morning sickness. Holg's morning sickness. Wow. That is.

[Brady]

He thought it was a hooker.

[John Holmberg]

Hard to Watch, boys. I've seen this. Night of the Living Dead, The Spirit, Halloween. Phillies Ma or Phillies Karen.

[Brady]

That'll be big.

[John Holmberg]

No, it won't. By the. We'll have forgotten about her by October 31st. She has to do something else.

[Brady]

Not a bad callback, though. There's nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's a funny. Somebody will do it, but it's. It'll be forgotten. You have to explain yourself. Not like that Charlie Chaplin costume. That guy.

[Brett]

Is that what you're doing this year?

[John Holmberg]

No. Sharp neck is, evidently. I got an email from my friend John Sharpnick's former co worker. John's a very funny guy, but in a real subtle way. And he liked Eminem so much. When Eminem was big, he made his co workers call him Shady for a while, and then, like, just out of the blue started to think. So please stop calling me Shady. Don't do it. Like something happened or one of the employees, like not calling you that, man.

[Brady]

Target is facing some backlash. They're selling some women's champion sweatpants. And the design. There's a design flaw.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brady]

According to some camel toe.

[John Holmberg]

What is it?

[Brady]

It's beyond that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sweet Jesus. There's a pleat right in the front. It's a gynecologist. Don't open you up that much. What is this?

[Brady]

What?

[Brett]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

That is a mistake in the sewing thing. It's meant to be a little vent, evidently, but it's right where the vagina.

[Brady]

Mannequin or is that actually on a person right there?

[John Holmberg]

It looks a little hippie. It's on a human being, man.

[Brady]

Yeah, I just took those two photos. It is a person. It's not a mannequin. Now, I think if you're a little bit thinner, it might not expand as much like the pleat, that center pleat even.

[John Holmberg]

Want to risk it?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because if you sit down, it might open up and look like a change pouch in the middle. It's disgusting. You don't put a cut there, especially one that thick. I want to wear those, too, though. That would actually be hilarious as a guy. My vagina pants.

[Brady]

I've got two radio videos.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady]

First one's always good. Opening weekend of football.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

This is an opening week. It wasn't. Your teams didn't play? Oh, they didn't play. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

My team.

[Brady]

I haven't seen this posted fight. I've seen a lot of them.

[John Holmberg]

Seahawks and Rams.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Or the Niners and Rams. Where are we? We're at so far. The Niners are playing the Rams. We're dancing around the concourse. A couple dudes bow up. A girl comes up, takes a swing at a Puka Nakua fan. And now the 49ers fans who love fighting just go after. Now. Oh, now the guy's fighting the girl who won't stop swinging at him.

[Brady]

Drop the guy back there. They'll go back to him.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's a huge. The ramps are winning this.

[Brady]

That's the second time that guy's.

[John Holmberg]

Now the girl goes to fight the dude that just knocked a guy out. He can't punch her. He'll go to jail. The other guy. Oh, that first punch is solid. That sounds good. A straight right.

[Brady]

This had to have been maybe preseason. Or it could have been.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, it was last year. In last year.

[Brady]

Last year.

[John Holmberg]

It's just leaking out now. Girl hits the dirt.

[Brady]

Ox and Niners played.

[John Holmberg]

Man. Most Niner fans have a good reputation of being classy fans. Every stadium in the country has fought the Niners off the Cardinals fans. That's their most contentious game. Those Niner fans are for as much success as they've had. They're mean.

[Brady]

That's another death by bull.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy. Bull in a just in somebody's yard. It's just outside the house. Oh, it's just. Oh, it's got him by the heart. Oh, it's spinning him around by the heart.

[Brady]

Watch this finishing gourd.

[John Holmberg]

His heart. And now he's got him on all the pickup and throw. Yeah, that guy's all done. Well, that's what you get for living in a country where bulls are in.

[Brady]

Your front yard and your water is delivered by cube.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you got cubes of water in a truck.

[Brady]

It's the first time event I don't think they'll be doing.

[John Holmberg]

Is this an event. I don't care. No, I don't know if this is just an accident that happened with the neighborhood bull. By the way, in another perfect moment in sports this weekend, I mean, you had Lamar losing, which means I spent an hour ejaculating the way they lost Steelers. It was. And it was Bellagio. It was gorgeous. People came over.

[Brett]

Peter north out there.

[John Holmberg]

People were in there like it was a one of those wedding fondue things, just dipping marshmallows in it. And then, you know, steelers win. I had fun with that. And I don't know if you saw what happened to the Dodgers on Saturday. Eight and two thirds, no hit. Right. They're down to the last out in the ninth inning. This guy for the Orioles hits a home run. Jackson Holiday Yeah. And then they put a couple boys in on base and they win the game.

[Brady]

Oh yeah. They walked in too.

[John Holmberg]

8 and they walked the runs in. It was like is was there. If Brady's God was like had a speech on Friday, it would be like. And I'm going to give John Hornberg the greatest sports weekend he's ever had. You don't mind the Dodgers to eight and two thirds having to eat that.

[Brett]

Trip must have been losing his mind.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't bring it up to him yesterday at the Steelers thing cuz I didn't want to but I was.

[Brady]

You knew better.

[John Holmberg]

No, I didn't. I just was thinking of other stuff.

[Brady]

You had to get past your session first.

[John Holmberg]

We so perfect. Yeah, I couldn't start doing that like cuz he leaves at halftime. If the Steelers got trounced or something then he would have had it. But I'm not going to lay into him. But now that the perfect weekend is over. And I'm sorry for ASU fans but Dale hell couldn't be more right when he's like, can't we. We can't have nice things. ASU is not going to be good two years in a row. It just doesn't happen. All right, Bert, what do you got?

[Brett]

All right, we got. We're a little light today.

[John Holmberg]

It's Monday, so. Yeah, Monday. It's an easy. We're easing into the week. By the way. Alvina has chimed in with her ampersand memories of Mike and Molly and Will and Grace so far. Scott Blamer, who I'm not supposed to talk about, he just told me don't bring my name up. My boss hears is is the smartest one in the room. I wouldn't get rid of him if I was his boss. That kid's. He's a reader.

[Brett]

We may have seen this one before. I can't remember, but.

[John Holmberg]

Check this out. Right. No, sorry. There's a guy saying to check stuff out.

[Brett]

I wouldn't use the video.

[John Holmberg]

He walks into a convenience store. Guy drops all of his clothes, spreads his butt.

[Brett]

Don't use the volume.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not.

[Brady]

He poop. I think he gets taken out.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's a guy coming in. This door behind him has got his pants off in the. Oh, a black guy just comes in and sucker punches him and knocks him out and then goes. And then Lavelle Crawford just goes shopping. He just walked in.

[Brady]

Casual walk.

[John Holmberg]

You're my way bad move. I got time for you standing on here like. Yeah, Lavelle just pops this dude with Pants down in the, you know, the doorway of the. The place.

[Brett]

I don't know what he's doing, if he's dropping a deuce or what.

[John Holmberg]

He's mad at somebody. And then he just. And then Lavelle comes.

[Brady]

Guy in the green just didn't even care.

[John Holmberg]

Why you do this. Move out of my way right now. Both ends it. I gotta get some Funyuns. He just strolls right through. Knocked the dude out of business and then went right back to get his natty light and Funyuns Friday. Move. Nice job, Lavelle.

[Brett]

Here's a little show on the bus for you.

[John Holmberg]

There's. Oh, geez, that's just a deformity. Oral sex on the people one row behind you on the bus. And her pants are all the way off. And the dude is just taking one. She's mouth hugging him right there. Oh, now they're doing it. Nobody is stopping this. The guy just filming away. This has to be. They're in good shape too. These are. This is an attractive couple. This must have been. Now they're just standing up, having sex.

[Brady]

Holding on to the bar. Nice.

[John Holmberg]

That was great. Makes me want to take the bus once. But I know people on the bus don't look like that normally. That was a setup.

[Brett]

And then we'll just end with this one. We're running a little bit more. Grammy's dying, but you got to make that only fans money.

[John Holmberg]

This is too soon. Toledo shouldn't be watching this. There's a woman in a hospice bed and a 400 pound woman in a doggy position. Oh, good lord. Oh, she picked up one of her hangers and put it on her face. That thing's hanging down two feet. Oh, quit it. Oh, it's like a sack of flour.

[Brady]

If she loses balance, there's a dance.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God.

[Brett]

I wish that concrete would have already be.

[John Holmberg]

I wish the concrete would have blinded me this weekend. Good, good lord.

[Brady]

So I was thinking the video before that. John, your stat of. Just think there's 70 people doing that. That's not happening on the bus.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no, because that was pre arranged. That's different. That's for porn. I mean, there's been attempts, sure, but.

[Brady]

And there might be some attempts this.

[John Holmberg]

Morning, but I don't think on public transit. No.

[Brady]

Well, there'd be some arrests.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's. You don't want. There's no good looking people on the bus. More. More than just the sex. There's sex on buses, sure. What are there maybe 1100 buses in the whole city? So it's not even a.

[Brady]

There's only so many good trains.

[John Holmberg]

Joel, you say that like it's 4.5 million people taking the bus. We're down to like the last 50,000. And now Uber wants those people to pay them in cash so they can have sex in the Uber for $43.

[Brady]

It's not happening right now. On their way to sky harbor now.

[John Holmberg]

The sky train is sex free since. Since 2009 remains. Got a little sign in there like tornadoes. Zero acts of sex on our train since 2008. That was a good one, though. There you go, everybody. That is your Brady Report. It's 98K upd. It's out of control now. 98K. Bloomberg's Morning Sickness. Morning sickness. Oh, baby, there's some gods mech for you. Whatever. After the happiest weekend in the history of week one of the NFL and sports. And then the Dodgers ate crap too. And Lamar Jackson cried on his way off. Oh, it's just such a great weekend if we're gonna get one good. This was like. I think we just saw the game of the year last night. By the way, all already we've seen game of the year. That was outstanding.

[Brady]

Strong opener.

[John Holmberg]

Unreal. And then the way it ended for me, maybe game of the decade. Game of the century. Oh, so good to see that. So good. And then I had, you know, just such a. What a great weekend. Other than the hospital visit for the concrete in my eye, fantastic. Now I just got an email from a guy and Brady, you and I are kind of scientists as chemically figuring this out this weekend. Deck mod with mortar mix and quick cre. Dude just emailed me and he goes, dude, you just created like the most unbelievably bond hybrid. Yeah, it's like the super. You're not supposed to mix them though evidently for some reason. Why?

[Brady]

Chemicals.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not going to burst into flames. It's underground. Anyway, what am I fracking? And again, I think have the pictures, the pictures gone up on Facebook yet? You got to get that. Just the work that I did. My. I'm so proud of my diy. Also whilst whilst I waited for that concrete to set after I got back from the hospital, I had nothing to do because I was supposed to be at other things, but. So it's nighttime. So highly recommend. This is not an endorsement, not a paid endorsement. This is just what I do now with my spare time as a handy person. Everybody today spend $50 and go get yourself a flame king propane torch. It's a flamethrower, Brady. I got one of those. You do? Yeah, yeah, it's awesome.

[Brett]

Like weeds and stuff like that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, at first. Well, I know. And then it turns into bugs and.

[Brady]

Like my neighbor does it with the scorps.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta. This thing is incredible.

[Brett]

Got a little cart for your propane tank and everything.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I don't have that. I don't have.

[Brett]

Oh, I got one that. That uses the five gallon one. And then you just hook it up and just.

[John Holmberg]

You get to. Totally.

[Brett]

Yeah, I got unlimited.

[John Holmberg]

Like one of those weird vacuums. Yeah. How big is the flame? I gotta come over to your house. Yeah, mine's. Mine's. Here's a picture of mine. It's like.

[Brady]

Let me see.

[John Holmberg]

It's like a weed eater.

[Brett]

It's kind of portable.

[John Holmberg]

It's like a weed eater. Oh, it's. It's just by hand. Just one hand. It's like a.50 bucks. $50 and you can start burning stuff all over. My whole backyard is just torch marks everywhere. Because one problem you do have. When you put rocks over where grass was or turf over where grass was, some spots the grass sneaks back. And this grass has been there for 70 years. So.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's my.

[John Holmberg]

That's the one you've got. It's got the long hose on it. Oh, you're not kidding around. That's got the big. Mine's just got a little baby flame. It's a good flame. Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

I mean, it's got the big old nozzle on there.

[John Holmberg]

That looked Nazi ish to me. Did your dad bring you that after the war?

[Brett]

It was a present.

[John Holmberg]

It's one of the Mussolini's gifts. Okay. Yours is awesome. Mine makes a flame similar to that. But you've got that canister end on it. I'm telling you.

[Brady]

That's only 39.99.

[John Holmberg]

What? How was yours only 40 bucks?

[Brady]

Well, you got to have a.

[Brett]

You got to have your own tank.

[Brady]

Oh, there's where the money is.

[John Holmberg]

You still have to get the. The one gallon propane thing.

[Brett]

I just use like. Like what you use on like a.

[John Holmberg]

Like a. A grill.

[Brett]

Like a five gallon.

[John Holmberg]

Five gallon?

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. And I just put it on a little cart and I just roll around just burning stuff. Death at the Vesley house.

[John Holmberg]

Man, I want to come over and do fire too. Come on over. Can I bring my torch? Sure, cuz mine is.

[Brady]

Oh, there's a couple options.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, mine's 10. 10 more.

[Brady]

19 bucks for the gun with the tank.

[John Holmberg]

It's a pistol. It's a handgun of fire. That's cool. That's for bugs.

[Brady]

Chicago Electric.

[John Holmberg]

That is for bugs. I had the most manly weekend I've ever had. And you know what else I did? I sprayed some of that grass and weed. Weed killer. You're not supposed to do that because you got dogs and stuff. But I need something good for plan this is good. Was to spray all that stuff all over the weeds and then go, then start the fire. And I didn't know it's gonna be.

[Brett]

Chernobyl in your backyard.

[John Holmberg]

I wondered. I wondered about that. Turns out, makes a hefty fire. I'll bet. And what you don't think about is the stuff, that underlayment that's under the rocks. So at nighttime I'm burning up the grass that I had all that stuff. And I got one good eye.

[Brady]

There's going to be some missing kidneys in a year.

[John Holmberg]

You're probably. Well, I've seen you do it. If you're doing it. I'll be fine.

[Brady]

Had a good run?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's a nice run. I'm not sticking around for kids graduations or anything. So if I dropped out tomorrow, it wouldn't bother anybody. So in fact you didn't get a card from the owners. There'd be like a party if I died. But the finally saving from the radio station. Oh my God, the other radio stations, the ownership group, everybody'd be thrilled if I croaked. So. But I'm out there and I put all those chemicals on the weeds and the grass and I started to light them up and I was thrilled. And I'm running. I turned around and the whole ground's orange and I'm like, oh yeah, the stuff under the rocks that, that tarp that they put under rocks, the green well, no, there's like this black stuff that's supposed to be just like when they, when they re cover everything and put rocks down. You're supposed to put that under cloth stuff. That stuff burns quick. And the whole ground under the rocks was glowing orange. It was pretty neat, but I had to go get some water, pour that out. Oh, just torch and stuff. And I'm surprised that didn't send me the hospital burn. That's what I kept telling myself. It's like, I kept saying it's like a controlled burn. I'm walking through with my little canister of fire making fire. I had the best hillbilly weekend ever. I'm digging holes, splashing around and made up concrete. Going to the hospital, getting my eyes washed out, going back, starting fires. Steelers win, Ravens lose, Dodgers get embarrassed in a hilarious way. It's just all. It's per. It was a perfectly. I can't top this. I might as well check out the best. And then you see Trump asking everybody for $15 so he can get into heaven. You see that one? He's officially gone. We've officially lost Donald. He started to talk about how that bullet was supposed to kill him, but God saved him to make America great. And we all owe him 15 bucks now. And so he's doing a fundraiser.

[Brady]

I sent mine in a while ago.

[John Holmberg]

Did you?

[Brett]

Was he Donald Olsteen now?

[John Holmberg]

He basically said Everybody gave me $15 as, like a thank you gift or something because he's. Because I need to get into heaven, and I think that'll do it. So he's just raising money for the homecoming. They can't quite tell why. They're pretty sure he's just asking for 15 bones from everybody so he can get into heaven. I can't get around that one. But it's funny. I was. You know what? I was sent here by God. He's basically a blues brother. I'm on a mission from God and I need 15 bucks from everybody. If you just kick in, put it in. In the bucket, and then I'll get into heaven. And that's exactly what we all want. I can't quite get the read on why he's doing that. Is it to make Democrats say I'm not giving him $15? Then they don't like heaven. Then they're not forgiving. They're awful people. I don't know what that is, but I kind of halfway want to send the 15 bucks. I got a letter, and I don't know why. From him. Did you get the letter, too?

[Brady]

No, it's.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't get a letter from Trump?

[Brady]

Text?

[John Holmberg]

No, it was an email and it said. Where is it? Oh. Last year I came millimeters from death when that bullet pierced through my skin. My triumphant return to the White House was never supposed to happen, but I believe God saved me for. Well, now I've got a McAfee virus from the letter.

[Brady]

Jesus.

[Brett]

Shocking.

[Brady]

I think that's been out for a while, hasn't I?

[John Holmberg]

Don't think so. No. This goes over the story again. Now the thing's gone, says I want to try to get to heaven if possible. I'm hearing I'm not doing well. It's really at the bottom of the totem pole. But if I could get into heaven, this would Be one more reason. And so he's asking for some money. Anyway, the virus has hit me, but then Snopes backed it up and they're like, legit. That's from his thing. Because everybody's like, this is fake. This is not. And it's real. I didn't know you could do that. And just said, how about you get me 15 and you get a couple fivers, some change laying around the house. Throw it my way. Help me get into heaven, because I'm. I'm doing you guys a favor. And nobody even really knows what he's doing with the. With the money. So it's a weird weekend. The simulation is shattered and broken, but at least it's shattered and broken in my favor. This Lamar Jackson took one in the trunks last night on tv. Again, so happy. And to Bill's fans across the nation, we all owe you a debt of gratitude.

[Brett]

Did you hear from Sura?

[John Holmberg]

I text sir last night and I said, the second you walk into work tomorrow, I'm blowing you. Oh, nice. And he just text back, Paul's never happy. Woohoo. Like big capital letters. Which when he screams, it sounds like a racial slur, but it just. It was still a woohoo. It's nine o' clock on the dot. We got a what would Brady do? Coming up in just moments after the greatest weekend ever. Get yourself a flamethrower. It's 98 Kup. It's out of control now. 98 KD. Holberg's Morning Sickness. Morning Sickness. 98 KPD. What would Brady do? Yes, that's right. It's time for the world's most moral, single kidneyed man to solve your problems. He's doing it despite him not being at a hundred percent. But when was he ever really, truly Brett? But he'll still look at your life and judge it. You people are making a mockery of yourselves. Couple of good ones today too, Brady. And it's brought to you by our friends at Mo Money Pond. 12th street in Indian School. MMP guns right inside Mo Money Pond will take care of you. If you have any needs for weaponry, they've got it. Guns. They've got ammo, they've got vests, they've got tack gear. They've got everything you could ever imagine. If they don't have it, they can get it for you lickety split. You got something that's hard to find, they'll find it and they can work it right there. Not to mention you walk through the beautiful showroom of Mo Money Pond. While you're heading Back to. To MMP Guns which is right there in the store. Momoney pawn.com. 12th street and Indian School. And check out m and p guns.com as well. Ready, Brady? To solve their issues.

[Brady]

Ready.

[John Holmberg]

We've got here. I got two good ones. I don't have a third one was stinky and I didn't really search out more. Here we go. And everybody's very nice in the beginning too. This guy says dear Brady, first off, happy to hear you're doing. Doing okay. It's something to survive that C word. Think of that, Brady. Survive the C word. I'm happy for you. You're in my prayers.

[Brady]

Nice. I still have that little category. If they're a miracle on my left kidney, John.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Brady]

I don't know. It's out there.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's. It's not a thing. You rely on medical science, my friend. If you were looking for miracles, why'd you go through the first half of this? Right.

[Brady]

I didn't have time to stick around. I got a little time on this. I got a little more time.

[John Holmberg]

So you're looking for miracles. As long as it's convenient.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I see convenience of miracles.

[Brady]

There are. I'm putting conditions on it and I would have been. Probably shouldn't.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't have in the first place. But let's just go with the doctors on this one and not I did.

[Brady]

I could have rolled the dice and like you guys don't know what you're talking.

[John Holmberg]

I'm waiting for a miracle. I'd prefer a doctor than wizardry. That specifically beside the point.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

This one says should I still pay for my soon to be horrible ex girlfriend's son and daughter and their private school? I don't hate them. I just hate their miserable mom. We've lived together and I have been the only steady presence in everyone's life for the last eight years. Especially the kids. The dad killed himself with prescription pills. Not really. But it would have been better off if he had because he's just a disaster. I'm a successful person. And at one point I was in love with. With this woman. But over the last couple years, she's been different. It's just gotten worse and worse. All I care about now are those kids. But I want her out of my life so bad. I don't know if I should just abandon the entire group. Should I pull the money for the school? I'm trying to be a decent person, but this is an awful situation. By the way, I caught her snorting Adderall with her, quote, friend from work who had the nerve to look at me when I walked in and said, get out of here, man. It was my bedroom. I didn't pummel the dude because I didn't want to go to jail, but, man, did I want to. I just got rid of the shady. Please don't use my name, Gary. Oops. So don't sign it.

[Brady]

What is the real. I mean, you know, so pulling the money from the kids.

[John Holmberg]

They can't go to the school.

[Brady]

I know they can't go to the school. So what. How does that fix for you?

[John Holmberg]

I think what he's asking is, I dumped her. I want her out of my life. This is why I always say never date a single mom.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And now I love the kids. They're in a bad situation. I've been paying their way to this nice school. I'm paying their way for this, that and the other. Do I just cut it all off or do I try to hang on to the kids and let them have a decent life or at least continue what they can say.

[Brady]

I'm sticking with the kids.

[John Holmberg]

You are?

[Brady]

Yeah. I mean, because beast with the mom, not the kids.

[John Holmberg]

But you don't want her in your life anymore.

[Brady]

Now if they.

[John Holmberg]

What if she starts getting some other.

[Brady]

Dudes haven't done anything to you.

[John Holmberg]

This is why you don't date a single mom.

[Brady]

Because originally he agreed to do that. What is the only reason he did?

[John Holmberg]

As long as he's around when the fan.

[Brady]

That's what I'm saying is the original reason that he did that was because the mom. And like. Yeah, I'm winning her over.

[John Holmberg]

It's gonna be the dad. Not even winning her over. It's just like we're playing family, we're playing house. We're not married. But I'm taking care of everybody here because that's what I do. And he put them in a better situation.

[Brady]

I don't think it's. I mean, like, if you decide I'm not gonna do it anymore, that's fine. I would say give them enough time because there are ways. You know, there's those programs that you can get the tax, you know, to private schools.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Up to a certain amount.

[Brady]

No, you can get the full amount. Not. Not the esa. Oh, oh, there's a separate one where people you can write up to. It's a 2100.

[John Holmberg]

You're looking for that write off.

[Brady]

Well, it would cost. Cause the kids to have to go around.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And raise some cash and ask People. But then you got to stay in contact with her to tell the kids how this happened. I'm cutting it off, man.

[Brady]

That's what I'm saying. At least give them. I mean, and maybe not. You're cutting it just cold turkey.

[Brett]

I would just. Because you're always going to be attached to that broad.

[John Holmberg]

Then college sucks for the kids.

[Brett]

I'm sorry, but you know and I understand.

[Brady]

I'm just saying I'd probably give them.

[John Holmberg]

Say it again, Fred. You're What?

[Brett]

I'm sorry, but your mom's an Adderall Snorting.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're already screwed up. You're not going to help them out. You're just going to pay for a school so they can start doing snorting Adderall and getting pregnant when they're 17 too. And then you're going to pay for that. When does it end?

[Brady]

Two, two or three months.

[John Holmberg]

Like just finished this year.

[Brady]

How about. How about the semester? That's fair.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, already paid for it now. Yeah, I think that's it. But you don't keep paying for that after.

[Brady]

Yeah, unless he paid it all up front.

[John Holmberg]

Tell. I don't get out of here, man. To pay for their school because that's who. She. She didn't resp. Like that's bad. And the drugs thing is worse. And he didn't. He didn't even mention, like, if there was like a sex thing going on. But more than likely, if she's in your bedroom with some guy from work snorting at. Or all there's.

[Brett]

Get out of here.

[John Holmberg]

Not word. Yeah. And he had the nerve. Get out of here, man.

[Brett]

I'd be in jail.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. I would be in jail. Yeah. That guy's head would have come off. That would have been bad. And probably. You know, I've seen a lot of Dateline specials where everybody in that room gets chopped up. OJ probably had that happen. He's kind of lost it. That's a tough one.

[Brett]

Like Brady said, if they've. He's already paid for it. Okay, fine, let it roll. But after that, cut it.

[John Holmberg]

Whatever you've paid for is the last you're paying. Yeah. And then Gary, whose name we won't use. Run. Yeah, that's probably the best.

[Brady]

The kids also would have to understand extent. I mean, if I was in. If I was.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it doesn't matter if the kids, you know, but it doesn't matter.

[Brady]

Nothing to do with this guy anymore.

[John Holmberg]

But if your kids understand or not, it's. It doesn't matter. It's just whether or not you want to. Like he's in love with the kids too. Like that's why you can't date a mom and kids. Oh, you can't date a mom with kids because you got to break up with the whole family. And most of the time the kids didn't do anything. And if they did. And sometimes the kids will wreck it for a good relationship. This is the other way around. Yeah. You gotta dump the whole family. It's gonna cost you a few bucks. But you were playing house. You paid for the kids.

[Brady]

If you can't afford it, that's.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think that's.

[Brady]

Sure, that's an easy.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think that's an issue.

[Brett]

It doesn't sound like it.

[John Holmberg]

He basically was saying, should I keep doing it or not? And you were. You know, this is an easy out. Had you been married, you'd have been paying for all this and you'd have had to keep paying for it. And you had to pay her an Adderall snorting friend spousal maintenance. This is the best thing for you. They just. I think one of the finished for me.

[Brady]

There'd be one other caveat.

[John Holmberg]

What's that?

[Brady]

If it was like their senior year.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's easy. But then college comes around.

[Brady]

But I'm saying I would. I would let them finish the senior year out rather than changing schools midway through.

[John Holmberg]

You have to do that thing like in those movies when a kid tries to like ET at the end of E. T. When Elliot told him go get out of here. Like it was breaking his heart. What's the. There's like movies with dogs. Go leave Shane. One of the great movies from the fishing is screaming for him. You tell the thing you love to leave and it doesn't understand why you do it, but it's for the best. You have to do that to those kids. You have to make it so they hate you. Cuz otherwise they'll start calling you and hitting you up for cash on the side knowing that you've got a soft spot for them. Mom's in the bedroom with that Adderall guy again and we don't have any money for food.

[Brady]

Short another 1500.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

On rent.

[John Holmberg]

You got to dump the whole family, break your own heart and then stop dating people with kids you got to pay for. That's a disaster. Stop dating people with kids. Oh boy. Here's another one. I'll just get a third one.

[Brady]

Just tells me the thing not to be the. Is that if you really love the kids or like I love them, that's why I'm doing it. Yeah, then you'd continue doing it. But if you're questioning it, would you though?

[John Holmberg]

Because you can't. I mean, because like there's people.

[Brady]

That scholarship, you can do that.

[John Holmberg]

If you want students to begin with, like, don't let them know it, hear.

[Brady]

About the kid, like, you know what? I'm gonna pay for his college.

[John Holmberg]

That's great. But if mom finds out and she's gonna start using them as ways to get money for her. She's a drug addict.

[Brady]

That's, that's the ugly part of it, which I think is get out of there. Get out.

[John Holmberg]

Dear Brady, I just found out my 16, 17 and 4 month old son, or 4 year old, he's not 16 months old. That changes the story completely. He'll be 17 in 4 months. My son's girlfriend is 20. On one hand, super duper proud of him, but on the other hand, I'm worried if he found himself a Britney Zamora. Should I put an end to this or let it go? He's got 16 months before he's an adult and none of this will matter. Doug, he's 16, she's 20.

[Brady]

I'd be okay with it to an.

[John Holmberg]

Extent with the girl being 20 and the guy being 16.

[Brady]

It all depends on what kind of, you know, I'd just be monitoring it pretty close.

[John Holmberg]

I think I'd be more concerned if it was the guy who was 20, swished around.

[Brady]

No, no, I, like I'm saying I.

[John Holmberg]

Wouldn'T be 20, right. I wouldn't be as concerned if it was the, the girl who was 16 and the guy was 20. Like that's, for some reason, like that's touchy. But that's about right.

[Brady]

It's close.

[Brett]

That's Benny Mardona.

[John Holmberg]

As you know, girls who are 20 dating guys in high school, something's wrong with them. Guys who are 20 dating 16 year old girls is about the age gap you shoot for in life. Three, four years, right?

[Brady]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

It's, it's touchy either.

[Brady]

Four years, I, I could see it.

[John Holmberg]

But how many girls, either way, how many girls in high school are like, oh, my boyfriend's in college and she's 16 and he's nice. That's normal.

[Brady]

There's definitely more girls.

[John Holmberg]

That's normal.

[Brady]

Older and older again.

[John Holmberg]

A 16 year old boy dating a 20 year old girl says there's something wrong with that 20 year old girl because they very rare, want to go back. So she's probably one of those.

[Brady]

But there's always one or two.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but she's probably. Yeah, but there's something wrong with them. It probably wanted to be the high school cheerleader life again. And colleges. She's not getting the attention she used to get when she was in high school. And so she's. Something's wrong with her. 20 year old girls don't want 16 year old boys. That's not a status symbol for a sophomore in college to be dating a sophomore. Sophomore in high school.

[Brady]

Unless she's.

[John Holmberg]

They always go up.

[Brady]

Yeah, and if she's not, you know, you say sophomore college. Is she in college?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know, I'm just throwing them. Well, even if she isn't, I'm just saying the age of someone, 20 year olds with 16 year old boyfriends for girls, that's not looked on as normal. No 20 year old guy with a 16 year old girl is like, yeah, cutting it close, don't you think?

[Brady]

How, how long have they been dating too? Like was he senior? Freshman?

[John Holmberg]

That's a tough one. I think I'd get to know the girl and find out what's wrong with her. Something's wrong with her. What would Kurt have done? You're 16, you got a 20 year old girlfriend coming around the house.

[Brett]

Oh, he'd be like, nice kill kid.

[John Holmberg]

That's what my dad would have done. There was a girl named Sherry that I worked with at Tony Romas. That was nice. 19 when I was 16 and she started to hang out with me and my friend Mark and I think she liked Mark. But then I started making her laugh and stuff and then I think she started to like me. But my dad met her, he's like, something's wrong with her. Like really goes, yeah, she shouldn't want to hang out with you. And my dad was basically c blocking me on it. He's like, why is she like you? I'm like, I don't know, she's pretty. Yeah, I know, it's weird, right? He goes, yeah, it is. I don't like this at all. Something's wrong with her. Like she could do better than a boy. Yeah, something's wrong with this chick. You can't be 20, you can bone some kid like, oh my God, what have I just done? But you don't date him unless you're a mental basket case. If you were 16 and had a 20 year old girlfriend, Torfen Bunny would have stepped in. Something's wrong with her.

[Brady]

16, 20.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, something wrong with that girl. Now if you were 20 and had a. 16. You had a. You were in college and didn't you go to.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You had a high school girlfriend.

[Brady]

Two and 19, I think.

[John Holmberg]

Well, she's. When she was in high school.

[Brady]

No, she was a. I. No, she was a freshman in college.

[John Holmberg]

That doesn't count. I'm talking, like, if you go back to.

[Brady]

And I was 25, that's pretty good. 25 and 19.

[John Holmberg]

19. That's pretty good. That's a weird age, but that's for a guy that's normal. Little strange. This one says, dear Brady, much love player. Hope you're recovering well. I just had my TV flash an Apple code on the screen, and then the screen switched to a screen mirror of my roommate's phone. And I stared at it like, what's going on? There was a quick flash of an email or a text or something that said, no one will know, but that was the best night of my life. I love you. And it was to our mutual friend Jimmy. I don't know if my roommate is gay. I don't know that that would even surprise me. But I've had feelings for him for. For a while, and I'm wondering if I should make my move with this information. Should I still do it? Sign Shauna. So Shauna is watching tv. Screen comes up, as it will when you screen mirror and says, put this code in. Yeah, but if he doesn't have to do that and just flips through it, it'll just pop right up on whatever screen. If he's already pre done, she sees a message that. And it goes away. And it was to a dude. So it's two dudes saying they love each other. Jimmy and her roommate. And now she's like, ooh, I'm gonna lose to a fella. Should I try to bone him before he gets a taste of the dark side?

[Brady]

Before he converts?

[John Holmberg]

By the way, how old are you, Shauna? This is an awful lot of roommates going on.

[Brady]

Well, read the title on that one again then. Then prepare for looking for enough a roommate. You think the downside of it, if you don't hit it off and. And it backfires.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. Boning your roommate can always go bad. Yeah, don't c block him, Shauna. You should go in there immediately and try to blow that guy. Don't even talk to him. Just get in there and start with your mouth open and just start pointing to it. Say that. Do it like the. Like the. The monsters from Mars attacks. And point to the hole in your face and hope that he jumps in.

[Brady]

She does have the. You know, they've been roommates for a while it sounds like or a couple of months you're making so that's out of the way. I'm just saying like there's no they.

[John Holmberg]

They're roommates. Who knows?

[Brady]

How long are they getting along as roommates?

[John Holmberg]

Not as long, not as well as they could, Brady. And if he goes blazes then you'll know he loves Jimmy. Yeah, a good girl roommate will do that. They'll hop right in the room and just go, are you dating anybody? Nope.

[Brady]

It's so powerful it can help rent.

[John Holmberg]

I was going to say he's going to pay your rent. You're going to have pockets full of cash on, you know. Yeah, yeah. You keep that jaw dislodged, you're gonna be paid. Everything's free.

[Brett]

American Express payments.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm having trouble with bills. Oh yeah, I could help you with that. Run right into that room right now. If you're both at home, Shauna, and get to work. You're gonna lose him to Jimmy. If you don't.

[Brady]

It sounds like Mars attacks.

[John Holmberg]

It's a good thing I gotcha time. An email that says a 20 year old girl dating that 16 year old must be a big fat hog. Yeah, something ain't right there. Nobody thinks that's a normal deal. There you go everybody. That is what Brady did and he solved all the problems easily. It's out of control now. 98 to you. PD Hallberg's morning sickness. Morning sickness plenty. There you go. It's the cult everybody. She instill in that sanctuary. It is time now at 9:50 for Brandon to entertain us all. We call this the entertainment drill. And it's brought to you by our [e-mail] the Home Tactical Black self defense training. Didn't have a defense for splashed concrete mix in my eye, but I tried. Had the goggles on, didn't wear the gloves. Should have or should have had the goggles on, Didn't. They can teach you to defend against everybody but yourself. Really? I think that's the key to that whole thing. If somebody else wants to make a mess of your life, well they'll teach you how to stay out of those situations. And maybe you got some crazy lady with Cruella deville's hair trying to steal a baseball out of your kid's glove. They teach you how to do that too. De escalation is the proper way to do it, but in that situation, Ella the face, well she she did technically commit battery. She grabbed him by the arm. So once you make contact, you can be kind of a puss about the whole thing and say it's battery, but it is. Somebody lays hands on you, you got a right to defend yourself. He didn't know what the hell that lady was up to. She's crazy. Uh, they do. They go through scenarios like that all the time of what to do. Given the baseball tour, I'm not so sure that was the best possible way to get through that situation. However, it did deescalated. It calmed her down, she left. And. And what did they get? De escalation their way. Put your pride aside and just let it walk away. Gets to meet Harrison Bader. He gets to hang out with the team afterwards. The Phillies are giving him World Series tickets. There's somebody who online gave him an rv. The story has gone viral for a reason. It's because the kid won. So de escalation works. Yeah. Dad's pride took a punch. Big deal. I got to hand it to him. I'm not sure I would have done it that way, but he did, and he won in the end. So de escalate. That's the better away. And do it. Learn how to do that immediately. Become a sheepdog. Stop being a sheep. React. Defense.com the home of Tactical Black Brady. Entertain me quickly.

[Brady]

Kenny G kicked off the VMAs last night.

[John Holmberg]

What? Awesome.

[Brady]

The Video Music Awards. Kenny G. He did a collab with Doja Cat.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's good.

[Brady]

The other highlight was the tribute to Ozzy. Yeah. Young Blood and Nuno Betancourt teamed up, and then Steven Tyler and Joe Perry did another song.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds great. I was watching the Ravens lose.

[Brady]

I didn't know it was happening.

[John Holmberg]

I don't care at all about anything else.

[Brady]

Charlie Sheen admits he has sex with men.

[John Holmberg]

Had or has had.

[Brady]

It sounds like he said it was a phase. I was doing crack. And he's like, you know what? It happens.

[John Holmberg]

That's not why you're gay, though. Let's straighten it out. Crack does not lead you to being gay. You know who's upset about this or has to be or should be, is the LGBTQ community. It's because this is an admission of a guy who's got HIV that he dabbled with gay. Now everybody just thought it was through a bunch of dirty decisions he was making with dirty women. And I had. And then. So it kind of pushes along the agenda of everybody that thinks, see, you're. You gotta be gay to get that stuff.

[Brady]

You can read More about it in the book of Sheen. His memoir comes out out tomorrow and then Netflix has documentary coming out on Wednesday.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and it is to sell books, you know, but still, if he dabbled in homosexuality and got hiv, it perpetuates the stigma and stereotype of how you get hiv.

[Brady]

Now we know.

[John Holmberg]

Now we know.

[Brady]

I guess West Point has decided not to honor Tom Hanks after all. He was supposed to get an award at West Point this month for his work with veterans, but they canceled the ceremony. They won't admit it. But now people are saying it's because he wasn't a Trump supporter.

[John Holmberg]

Who knows you can't support the troops and be a left.

[Brady]

He hates Trump told by or Trump told West Point.

[John Holmberg]

Dude. Band of Brothers by itself should get him in. That's amazing stuff. Stuff for sure.

[Brady]

That whole series, the other two he did the, the Airborne series.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, everything he's done about that has been give him a little, give him a medal or something. It doesn't matter if he voted another way. That's America for it.

[Brady]

Doesn't mean it's not done. They just had to cancel that ceremony.

[John Holmberg]

Still, you think Trump got involved?

[Brady]

Oh, the other thing was when we left, I, I don't know. Talk about on Friday, that news that came out on Chuck. John Reap.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, the comedian John Reap. He's the one from the Dodge commercials that would pull up and he's a hillbilly and he'd go they hammy in there. You got a hemi under there?

[Brady]

Been in here a couple times.

[John Holmberg]

He's been here a few times. And then John Reeves, kind of rednecky guy and got in trouble for having like kitty pictures on his phone or something and solicited.

[Brady]

12 counts.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And that's how we end today. Show minor ending and some late. Yes. All right. Some lady emailed and she was mad saying that I was all four 20 year olds dating 16 year olds. I didn't say I was for it. I said it's more socially acceptable for a 20 year old boy to have a 16 year old girlfriend. Doesn't mean it's right. Just means it's more socially acceptable than a 16 year old boy with a 20 year old girl. Something's wrong with everybody but the high school cheerleader dating up. People don't look down on that as much as a 20 year old girl dating a 16 year old boy. Right. Just wanted clear lady emailed over and she was very upset at me thinking that I was promoting pedophilia. That's Brady. Brady did that. We're done. You guys have yourselves a fantastic Monday, and we'll see you tomorrow right here in the morning sickness. So long. Go bear his honest, most powerful rock radio station. He's had a conference. Control now 98.