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Host
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
Mo
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Brady
What would Brady do? Hmm. Yes, that's right. It's time for the world's most moral single kidneyed man to solve your problems. He's doing it despite him not being at 100%. But when was he ever really truly Brad? But he'll still look at your life and judge it. You people are making a mockery of yourselves. Couple of good ones today too, Brady. And it's brought to you by our friends at Mo Money Pond, 12th street and Indian School. MMP guns right inside Mo Money Pond will take care of you. If you have any needs for weaponry, they've got it. Guns. They've got ammo. They've got vests. They've got tack gear. They've got everything you could ever imagine. If they don't have it, they can get it for you lickety split. You got something that's hard to find, they'll find it. And they can work it Right there. Not to mention you walk through the beautiful showroom of Mo Money Pond while you're heading back to MMP Guns, which is right there in the store. Momoney pawn.com. 12th street and Indian School. And check out M&P guns.com as well. Brady Brady. To solve their issues.
Co-host
Ready?
Brady
I got two good ones. I don't have a third. One was stinky and I didn't really search out more. Here we go. And everybody's very nice in the beginning too. This guy says, dear Brady, first off, happy to hear you're doing okay. It's something to survive that C word. Think of that. Brady survived the C word. I'm happy for you. You're in my prayers.
Co-host
Nice. I still have that little category. If they're a miracle on my left kidney, John.
Brady
Why?
Co-host
I don't know. It's out there.
Brady
No, it's not a thing. You rely on medical science, my friend. If you were looking for miracles, why'd you go through the first half of this? Right?
Co-host
I didn't have time to stick around. I got a little time on this. I got a little more time.
Brady
So you're looking for miracles. As long as it's convenient. Yeah. I see. Convenience of miracles.
Co-host
There are. I'm putting conditions on it.
Brady
And I would have been.
Co-host
Probably shouldn't.
Brady
You didn't have in the first place. But let's just go with the doctors on this one and not I did.
Co-host
I could have rolled the dice and like you guys don't know what you're talking.
Brady
I'm waiting for a miracle. I'd prefer a doctor than wizardry. That's beside the point.
Co-host
Yes.
Brady
This one says should I still pay for my soon to be horrible ex girlfriend's son and daughter and their private school? I don't hate them. I just hate their miserable mom. We've lived together and I have been the only steady presence in everyone's life for the last eight years. Especially the kids. The dad killed himself with prescription pills. Not really. But it would have been better off if he had because he's just a disaster. I'm a successful person and at one point I was in love with this woman. But over the last couple years, she's been different. It's just gotten worse and worse. All I care about now are those kids. But I want her out of my life so bad. I don't know if I should just abandon the entire group. Should I pull the money for the school? I'm trying to be a decent person, but this is an awful situation. By the way I caught her snorting Adderall with her, quote, friend from work who had the nerve to look at me when I walked in and said, get out of here, man. It was my bedroom. I didn't pummel the dude because I didn't want to go to jail, but, man, did I want to. I just got rid of the shady bitch. Please don't use my name, Gary. Oops. So don't sign it.
Co-host
What is the real. I mean, you know, so pulling the money from the kids.
Brady
They can't go to the school.
Co-host
I know they can't go to the school. So what? How does that fix it for you?
Brady
I think what he's asking is, I dumped her. I want her out of my life. This is why I always say never date a single mom.
Co-host
Yeah.
Brady
And now I love the kids. They're in a bad situation. I've been paying their way to this nice school. I'm paying their way for this, that and the other. Do I just cut it all off or do I try to hang on to the kids and let them have a decent life or at least continue what they consider.
Co-host
I'm sticking with the kids.
Brady
Kids. You are?
Co-host
Yeah. I, I mean, because beast with the mom, not the kids.
Brady
But you don't want her in your life anymore.
Co-host
Now if the.
Brady
What if she starts getting some other.
Co-host
Dudes haven't done anything to you.
Brady
This is why you don't date a single mom.
Co-host
Because originally he agreed to do that. What is the only reason he did that?
Brady
As long as he's around when the fan.
Co-host
That's what I'm saying is the original reason that he did that was because the mom, like, yeah, I'm. I'm winning her over.
Brady
Gonna. Dad not even winning her over. It's just like we're playing family, we're playing house. We're not married. But I'm taking care of everybody here because that's what I do. I need to put them in a better situation.
Co-host
I don't think it's. I mean, like, if you decide I'm not going to do it anymore, that's fine. I would say give them enough time because there are ways. You know, there's those programs that you can get the tax, you know, to private schools.
Brady
Yeah. Up to a certain amount.
Co-host
No, you can get the full amount. Not, not the esa. There's a separate one where people you can write up to. It's a 2100.
Brady
You're looking for that write off.
Co-host
Well, it would cause the kids to have to go around.
Brady
Yeah.
Co-host
And raise some cash and ask people.
Brady
But then you got to stay in contact with her to tell the kids how this. I'm cutting it off, man.
Co-host
That's what I'm saying. At least give them. I mean, and maybe not. You're cutting it just cold turkey.
Host
I would just. Because you're always going to be attached.
Brady
To that broad, then college for the kids.
Host
I'm sorry, but you know.
Co-host
And I understand. I'm just saying I'd probably give them.
Brady
Say it again, Fred. You're right.
Host
I'm sorry. But your mom's an Adderall. Snorting.
Brady
Yeah, they're already screwed up. You're not going to help them out. You're just going to pay for a school so they can start doing. Snorting Adderall and getting pregnant when they're 17, too. And then you're going to pay for that. When does it end, is the question.
Co-host
Two or three months.
Brady
Like, just finish this year.
Co-host
How about the semester? That's fair.
Brady
I mean, you already paid for it now. Yeah, I think that's it. But you don't keep paying for that after.
Co-host
Yeah, unless he paid it all up front.
Brady
Tell.
Co-host
I don't.
Brady
Get out of here, man. To pay for their school because that's who. She. She didn't resp. Like, that's bad. And the drugs thing is wor. And he didn't. He didn't even mention, like, if there was, like, a sex thing going on. But more than likely, if she's in your bedroom with some guy from work snorting at her, all there's.
Host
Get out of here.
Brady
Not where it ends. Yeah, and he had the nerve. Get out of here, man.
Host
I'd be in jail.
Brady
Oh, my God. I would be in jail. Yeah, that guy's head would have come off. That would have been bad. And probably, you know, I've seen a lot of Dateline specials where everybody in that room gets chopped up. OJ probably had that happen. He's kind of lost it. That's a tough one.
Host
Like Brady said, if they. He's already paid for it. Okay, fine. Let it roll. But after that, cut it.
Brady
Whatever you've paid for is the last you're paying.
Co-host
Yeah.
Brady
And then Gary, whose name we won't use. Run. Yeah, that's probably the best.
Co-host
The kids also would have to understand accent. I mean, if I was in. If I was.
Brady
Well, it doesn't matter if the kids, you know, but that.
Co-host
It doesn't matter. Has nothing to do with this guy anymore.
Brady
But if your kids understand or not, it doesn't matter. It's just whether or not you want to. Like, he's in love with the kids, too. Like, that's why you can't date a mom with kids. Oh, you can't date a mom with kids because you got to break up with the whole family. And most of the time the kids didn't do anything. And if they did, you know, sometimes the kids will wreck it for a good relationship. This is the other way around. Yeah. You gotta dump the whole family. It's gonna cost you a few bucks. But you were playing house. You paid for the kids.
Co-host
If you can't afford it, that's.
Brady
I don't think that's an issue.
Co-host
That's an easy.
Brady
I don't think that's an issue.
Host
It doesn't sound like it.
Brady
He basically was saying, should I keep doing it or not? And you were. You know, this is an easy out. Had you been married, you'd have been paying for all this, and you'd have had to keep paying for it. And you had to pay her an Adderall. Snorting friend. Spousal maintenance is the best thing for you. They just. I think one of the finished for me.
Co-host
There'd be one other caveat.
Brady
What's that?
Co-host
If it was like their senior year.
Brady
Well, that's easy. But then college comes around.
Co-host
But I'm saying I would. I would let them finish the senior year out rather than changing schools midway through.
Brady
You have to do that thing like in those movies when a kid tries to like E.T. at the end of E.T. when Elliot told him, go, get out of here, like it was breaking his heart. What's the other's like movies with dogs.
Co-host
Go.
Brady
Leave. Yeah, Shane. One of the great movies from the fish. Shane. He's screaming for him. You tell the thing you love to leave, and it doesn't understand why you do it, but it's for the best. You have to do that to those kids. You have to make it so they hate you, because otherwise they'll start calling you and hitting you up for cash on the side, knowing that you've got a soft spot for them. Mom's in the bedroom with that Adderall guy again, and we don't have any money for food.
Co-host
Short another 1500.
Brady
Yeah.
Co-host
On rent.
Brady
You gotta dump the whole family, break your own heart. And then stop dating people with kids you gotta pay for. That's a disaster. Stop dating people with kids. Morning sickness. Medicate.
Mo
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Brady
Did she go somewhere?
Geico Advertiser
Extended quilting trip.
Host
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Brady
Get more with Geico Holmberg's morning sickness. Oh boy. Here's another one. I'll just get a third one.
Co-host
Just tells me the thing not to be the. Is that if you really love the kids or like I love them, that's why I'm doing it. Yeah, then you'd continue doing it. But if you're questioning it.
Brady
Would you though?
Co-host
Because you can't. I mean, because then like there's people. That scholarship, you can do that if you want students to begin with, like.
Brady
Don'T let them know it.
Co-host
Hear about the kid. Like, you know what? I'm going to pay for his college.
Brady
That's great. But if mom finds out and she's going to start using them as ways to get money for her. She's a drug addict.
Co-host
That's. That's the ugly part of it, which I think is get out of there. Get out.
Brady
Dear Brady, I just found out my 16, 17 and 4 month old son, or 4 year old, he's not 16 months old. That changes the story completely. He'll be 17 in 4 months. My son's girlfriend is 20. On one hand, super duper proud of him, but on the other hand, I'm worried if he found himself a Britney Zamora. Should I put an end to this or let it go? He's got 16 months before he's an adult and none of this will matter. Doug, he's 16, she's 20.
Co-host
I'd be okay with it to an extent.
Brady
With the girl being 20 and the guy being 16.
Co-host
It all depends on what kind of, you know, I'd just be monitoring it pretty close.
Brady
I think I'd be more concerned if it was the guy who was 20 switched around.
Co-host
No, no, no, I, like I'm saying.
Brady
I wouldn't be as concerned if it was the, the girl who was 16 and the guy was 20. Like that's for some reason. Like that's touchy, but that's about right.
Co-host
It's close.
Host
That's Benny Mardona's.
Brady
You know girls who are 20 dating guys in high school, Something's wrong with them. Guys who are 20. Dating 16 year old girls is about the age gap you shoot for in life. Three, four years, right?
Co-host
I don't know, it's touchy either way. Four years, I, I could see it.
Brady
But how many girls, how many girls in high school are like, oh, my boyfriend's in college and she's 16 and he's nice. That's normal.
Co-host
There's definitely more girls.
Brady
That's normal.
Co-host
Older and older.
Brady
A 16 year old boy dating a 20 year old girl says there's something wrong with that 20 year old girl because they very rarely want to go back. So she's probably one of those.
Co-host
But there's always one or two.
Brady
Yeah, but she's probably. Yeah, but there's something wrong with them. They probably wanted to be the high school cheerleader life again. And colleges. She's not getting the attention she used to get when she was in high school. And so she's. Something's wrong with her. 20 year old girls don't want 16 year old boys. That's not a status symbol for a sophomore in college to be dating a sophomore in high school.
Co-host
They always go up. Unless she's not up.
Brady
They always go up. Yeah.
Co-host
If she's not, you know, you say sophomore, college, is she in college?
Brady
I don't know, I'm just throwing numbers.
Co-host
If she is, then there'll be.
Brady
Well, even if she isn't. I'm just saying the age of someone, 20 year olds with 16 year old boyfriends for girls, that's not looked on as normal. No 20 year old guy with a 16 year old girl is like, ah, cutting it close, don't you think?
Co-host
How long have they been dating too? Like was he senior? Freshman?
Brady
That's a tough one. I think I'd get to know the girl and find out what's wrong with her. Something's wrong with her. What would Kurt have done? You're 16, you got a 20 year old girlfriend coming around the house.
Host
Oh, he'd be like, nice kill kid.
Brady
That's what my dad would have been. Yeah. There was a girl named Sherry that I worked with at Tony roma's that was 19 when I was 16. And she started to hang out with me and my friend Mark and I think she liked Mark. But then I started making her laugh and stuff and then I think she started to like me. But my dad met her, he's like, something's wrong with her. Her like really goes, yeah, she shouldn't want to hang out with you. And my dad was basically C blocking me. He's like, why Is she like you? I'm like, I don't know. She's pretty. Yeah, I know, it's weird, right? He goes, yeah, it is. I don't like this at all. Something's wrong with her. Like she could do better than a boy. Yeah, something's wrong with this chick. You can't be 20. You can bone some kid like, oh my God, what have I just done? But you don't date him unless you're a mental basket case. If you were 16 and had a 20 year old girlfriend, Torfen Bunny would have stepped in. Something's wrong with her.
Co-host
16, 20.
Brady
Yeah, something's wrong with that girl. Now if you were 20 and had a.16, you had a. You were in college and didn't you go to a high school? You had a high school girlfriend, 22.
Co-host
And 19, I think.
Brady
Well, she's. When she was in high school.
Co-host
No, she was. No, she was a freshman in college.
Brady
That doesn't count. I'm talking like if you go back to. And I was 25, that's pretty good.
Co-host
25 and 19.
Brady
19, that's pretty good. That's a weird age, but that's for a guy that's normal. A little strange. This one says, dear Brady, much love player. Hope you're recovering well. I just had my TV flash an Apple code on the screen and then the screen switched to a screen mirror of my roommate's phone. And I stared at it like, what's going on? There was a quick flash of an email or a text or something that said, no one will know, but that was the best night of my life. I love you. And it was to our mutual friend Jimmy. I don't know if my roommate is gay. I don't know that that would even surprise me. But I've had feelings for him for a while and I'm wondering if I should make my move with this information. Should I still do it? Signed Shauna. So Shauna is watching tv, screen comes up as it will when you screen mirror and says, put this code in. Yeah, but if he doesn't have to do that and just flips through it, it'll just pop right up on whatever screen. If he's already pre done, she sees a message, then it goes away and it was to a dude. So it's two dudes saying they love each other. Jimmy and her roommate. And now she's like, oh, I'm gonna lose to a fella. Should I try to bone him before he gets a taste of the dark.
Co-host
Side, before he converts, by the way.
Brady
How old are you, Shauna? This is an awful lot of roommates going on.
Co-host
Well, read the title again then. Then prepare for looking for another roommate. You think the downside of it, if you don't hit it off and it backfires.
Brady
That's true. Boning your roommate can always go bad. Yeah, don't c block him, Shauna. You should go in there immediately and try to blow that guy. Don't even talk to him. Just get in there and start with your mouth open and just start pointing to it. Say that. Do it like the. Like the monsters from Mars attacks and point to the hole in your face and hope that he jumps in.
Co-host
She does have the. You know, they've been roommates for a while, it sounds like. Or a couple of months, so that's out of the way.
Brady
I'm just saying, like, there's no. They're roommates. Who knows?
Co-host
How long are they getting along as roommates?
Brady
Not as long. Not as well as they could, Brady. And if he goes blazes, then you'll know he loves Jimmy. Yeah, a good girl roommate will do that. They'll hop right in the room and just go. Are you dating anybody? Nope.
Co-host
It's so powerful. It can help rent.
Brady
I was gonna say, he's gonna pay your rent. Yeah. You're gonna have pockets full of cash, you know? Yeah, yeah. You keep that jaw dislodged, you're gonna be paid. Everything's free.
Host
American Express payments.
Brady
Oh, I'm having trouble with bills. Oh, yeah, I could help you with that. Run right into that room right now. If you're both at home, Shawna, and get to work. You're gonna lose him to Jimmy if you don't.
Co-host
If it sounds like Mars attacks, it's.
Brady
A good thing I gotcha. By the way, you got an email that says a 20 year old girl dating that 16 year old must be a big fat hog. Yeah, something ain't right there. Nobody thinks that's a normal deal. There you go, everybody. That is what Brady did. And he solved all the problems. Easily Arizona's most powerful rocket out of control now.
Date: September 8, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Main Theme:
In this “What Would Brady Do?” edition, John Holmberg and the crew field awkward and raw listener dilemmas: Should you keep supporting your ex’s kids if you hate her? What to do when your teenage son is dating a 20-year-old woman? And should you make a move on a roommate who may secretly be gay? The team mixes humor, blunt assessments, and some unexpectedly sincere advice, staying true to their irreverent Arizona tone.
[02:45 – 11:00]
The Situation:
Listener (accidentally outed as "Gary") has been the steady provider for his girlfriend’s kids—private school tuition and more—for eight years. Now he wants the girlfriend out of his life after discovering her snorting Adderall with a coworker in his bedroom. He cares about the kids, but doesn’t want further entanglement with the ex.
Team’s Take:
Moral Dilemma Explored:
Practical Advice: Let them finish what’s already paid for (semester/year), but after that, “run and cut your losses.”
[12:21 – 16:16]
The Situation:
Listener “Doug” writes in: His son, nearly 17, is dating a 20-year-old. He’s torn between pride and concern about the age gap and legal/ethical implications.
Team’s Take:
Practical (& Sarcastic) Advice:
[16:39 – 19:44]
The Situation:
“Shauna” accidentally sees a suggestive message pop up via Apple TV mirroring, implying her male roommate is romantically involved with their friend Jimmy. She has feelings for the roommate and wonders if she should make a move.
Team’s Take:
Underlying Message:
Throughout the show, the tone is raw, comedic, and sometimes intentionally harsh, but sprinkled with genuine life advice. The team is unafraid to provoke or ridicule, all while sharing their takes with a sense of Arizona-realism that fans expect.
If you want wisdom sugar-coated, this isn’t the show for you. “Holmberg’s Morning Sickness” listeners get straight talk:
If you need more harsh love, brutal honesty, or a bit of cathartic laughter at life’s messes, tune in for more “What Would Brady Do?”