Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona #1 Morning Radio Show

Episode: Full Show - Tuesday, 09-09-25
Date: September 9, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Podcast: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio

Overview

Tuesday’s episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness features a signature blend of sports banter, irreverent humor, social commentary, and the show’s always-raucous take on trending topics. Kicking off with reflections on NFL week one and spiraling into topics like gendered relationship humor, pig organ transplants, and the dangers of taking in homeless strangers, the show blends playful roast, local color, and a sharp eye for the absurdity of current events. Underneath it all, the hosts deliver their recurring lessons about sports heartbreak, marital jokes, and the perils of modern life in their distinct comedic style.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. NFL Week One Recap & Bears Fan Suffering

Starts: 01:11

• The crew pokes fun at Brett, the show’s resident Bears fan, after yet another crushing loss.
  • Holmberg: "Being a Bears fan, it's got to be difficult...As a Bears fan, it's just time to quit. That's just. It's. That had to be awful." [01:11]
  • "Never quit. But, man, never get your hopes too high." – Holmberg [01:56]
• General sentiment: Football fandom is a mix of fleeting hope and recurring heartbreak.
• Riffed on superstitions: banning unlucky friends from attending games.

Notable quote:
Brady: "Anyway, football's back. Week one is in the books. It was awesome. Except for Brett." [02:16]

2. Relationship Jokes and Double Standards

Timestamps: 05:50 – 12:06

• Holmberg recounts NFL broadcast banter between Kevin Harlan and Kurt Warner about their wives not liking their voices at home.
• General riff on men’s jokes about their “miserable” home lives—a double standard if women said the same.
  • "It's way too common for dudes to talk about how miserable their home lives are with great big guffaws and laughs in the middle of it…Because if you tried that WNBA broad Doris Burke…" [07:01]
• Critique of ‘check in with the boss’ and ‘ball and chain’ language; discussion of how ‘humor’ masks legit relationship dynamics.
• Return to the joke: “Happy wife, happy life” and gender expectations for social freedom.

Notable quotes:
Holmberg: "If a woman says, like, yeah, I don't know if I can go have drinks with you guys, I gotta ask my husband if everything's okay...We do it all the time. Let me check with the warden." [09:03]

3. The "Coldplay Cam" Cheating Scandal & Spectator Judgments

Timestamps: 13:47 – 16:45

• Revisiting the viral “cheating” couple camera incident at a Coldplay concert.
• Discussion about relationship privacy, spectator outrage, and unfair labeling—sympathetic to the idea that people don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.
  • “We don't know if both of them are going through horrible separations at home.” [14:38]
  • “You don't know people's home situations. To get stuck on the Coldplay cam and have the whole world hate…” [15:04]

4. Pig Organs, Medical Science & Brady's Personal Journey

Timestamps: 19:31 – 28:25, 30:08 – 32:55

• Recent medical news: “They have mastered the pig kidney transplant.” [19:31]
• Entertaining riff on what sauce to put on your own pig kidney; future of 3D-printed organs.
  • “If you're willing to be a guy who says, I'll take pig parts.” [21:10]
• Brady shares health updates: cancer free, huge kidney surgically removed, potential future candidate for pig kidney transplant.
• Running joke: Brady as “Pigman” — the logical endpoint of his lifelong pork addiction.
  • "It's your story arc. I mean, you've been trying to put pork inside you for your whole life..." [24:04]

Notable moment:
Holmberg: “Now your blood is literally filtered by pig parts. Brett, you're just gonna glow anti-Muslim. This is great for you. Oh, my God. They're gonna aim planes directly at you. You're gonna be the trade center of Pigman.” [86:17]

5. Social Commentary – Letting the Homeless Into Your Home

Timestamps: 30:28 – 40:54

• Horrifying local story: A church housing outreach suggests letting a homeless man live with a parishioner—ending in tragedy.
• Strong warnings not to open your home to strangers, even in the name of charity or religion.
• Digs at church logic: "God's plan is for you to be murdered by the homeless man you put in your house? Nope, nope, don't let them in." [31:08]
• Frequent use of dark, absurdist analogies: feeding the stray cat, feeding the friends with benefits, etc.

Classic quote:
Holmberg: "Never in my life... Life got better when I let that homeless guy start living with us. It's never been said. No one ever, ever, ever, ever." [38:48]

6. Gross-Out Science: Screw Worms and Food Fears

Timestamps: 44:56 – 51:27

• News about “screw worms” (flesh-eating parasites) now in the US.
• Mocking CDC recommendations: “If you have weeping sores that won't heal and you see stuff moving around under your skin, you might want to consider going to the doctor. I didn’t need to know about screw worms for that.” [45:32]

Chicken statistics tangent:

• Wonders at America’s bottomless appetite for chicken and how many billions are consumed per year.
• “We have billions of them and we make them to eat.” [49:46]

7. Pan Flute Guy Mania & Other Trail Annoyances

Timestamps: 53:39 – 67:08

• Feature story: A man has been hiking Piestewa Peak daily for six years, playing a pan flute at the summit.
• Deep annoyance from Holmberg: “Nobody wants to hear you and your desperate cry for attention at the top of the mountain.” [54:22]
• Rant about public musicians, sound bowl practitioners, and random “do-gooders” disrupting peace on hiking trails.
  • "If you ambush us with your crap and he's getting all this credit. But if you look, read between the lines. People are complaining about this guy constantly going up there and wrecking the peace of their morning." [58:56]

Notable quote:
"Nobody ever does hikes with a clarinet...They would know this is just too obnoxious and loud to me." [63:12]

8. Dissing Dumb Kids, Parents, and the American School System

Timestamps: 67:17 – 77:50

• News reports on the decline of American test scores.
• Holmburg’s quarterly plea: public school teachers, quit your jobs!
• Lays responsibility strictly at parents’ feet: “If your kids are getting bad grades, they blame the teacher. It’s the kid and it’s the parent.” [68:13]
• Jokes about unique child names (Flagan, Talon, Skyler) and their parents' delusions.

Quote:
“You don’t have an Einstein. You got a Braden. And he’s dumb.” [75:06]

9. Birthday Card & Social Media Evidence Gone Wrong

Timestamps: 115:03 – 128:42

• Discussion of how old birthday cards and social media can be weaponized in public scandals.
• Relates it to the new Epstein files dragging up old “birthday books.”
• Absurd fear: “Careful what you write in a birthday card. You may be working with the next Epstein or next serial killer.” [123:09]

10. Hot Releases & Miscellaneous Local/Entertainment News

Timestamps: 135:00 – end

• Gaming, music, and TV segment—reviews and tangential banter.
• Local news, celebrity trivia, and the economic impact of product recalls.
• Musical Nonsense: AI-generated parody tracks and a new round of “N word or F word,” a controversial segment guessing which word Ice Cube will use next.

Notable Quotes

• "It's a great. It's been. Sports. Been fun right now. It's just fun right now. It is. Well, I mean for everybody, but make you miserable about it and you should be. But I mean it's just flat fun." – Holmberg [03:05]
• "It's time for you to stop annoying most of us. Nothing to do." — Holmberg on Pan Flute Guy [54:23]
• "Your kid's challenged all right. No, he's. He's bored at school. You know, Einstein got Fs, okay? Quit throwing that bomb at everybody...You got a Braden. And he's dumb." [75:06]
• "Never in my life...Life got better when I let that homeless guy start living with us. It's never been said. No one ever, ever, ever, ever." [38:48]

Engaging, Dark, Irreverent Tone

Throughout the show, the tone stays quick-witted, self-deprecating, and sharply irreverent. The crew lampoons themselves, each other, and nearly every news topic they touch, blending real concerns (health, family, social norms) with outrageous running jokes and Arizona-flavored skepticism.

Key Lessons & Takeaways

• Sports will always break your heart, so laugh or you’ll cry.
• Stop making tired gendered jokes about miserable marriages—double standards abound.
• Don’t judge strangers’ relationships from afar; you don’t know what’s going on.
• If given the opportunity, Brady will literally become "Pigman."
• Never, EVER let a homeless stranger live in your home.
• Watch out for flesh-eating parasites and other literal and figurative bugs in the system.
• Respect public quiet; nobody wants unsolicited flute performances on their hike.
• When America’s kids falter, start by looking in the mirror—not at teachers.
• Anything you write (cards, texts) can come back to haunt you.

Timestamps: Key Segments

• [01:11] – NFL Week One Recap, Bears Lamentations
• [05:50] – Relationship Jokes/Double Standards & Broadcast Tales
• [13:47] – Coldplay Cheating Cam & Relationship Privacy
• [19:31] – Pig Kidney Transplants & Brady’s Medical Journey
• [30:28] – Homeless House Guest Horror Stories
• [44:56] – Screw Worms & Food Fears
• [53:39] – Pan Flute Guy Rant
• [67:17] – America’s Failing Schools, Parental Responsibility
• [115:03] – Birthday Card & Social Media Evidence
• [135:00] – Hot Releases & Entertainment Roundup

This summary captures the main themes, insights, signature jokes, and the all-important warning: Don’t let a homeless guy or a pan flute player into your life—or your home! Football, pigs, and local Arizona news have never been funnier or more disturbing.