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Host
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Brady
Morning sickness radiate. There you go. Miles to nowhere. Thank you quite kindly for breaking us into this Tuesday morning. It's pretty solid. Gotta watch out for screw worms. Evidently that's a thing. Now I talked about this a couple months ago that they found one. Screw worms are now in the United States. And once again.
Host
The hell's that?
Brady
Right? Thanks Mexico. It's a flesh eating parasite that evidently the United States and you know, you can get mad about the jab that everybody calls it, the vaccines and the lies and this and that. They've done a pretty nice job. Whoever's in charge of this, cdc, World Health Organization, government, whatever, give them kudos. They're not always doing something terrible of keeping screw worms and Ebola out of the building. I think that's been a pretty nice run. A lot of places still have Ebola. The only time we had it was when we flew a dude with it here, put him in Atlanta for a few days. Screw worms have made it up here and they usually come from animals or flesh eating viruses, which I hate that phrase right away. And it says that researchers are increasing their efforts to spread awareness to protect the livestock from screw worms. Because we had our first human case of it. Now it's. Here's what, here's, here's what they say to look for. And by the way, I didn't need this. I didn't need this advice. If you have weeping sores that won't heal and you see stuff moving around under your skin, you might want to consider going to the doctor. I didn't need to know about screw worms for that. If I looked at my. And I saw this doesn't look right. This is nothing. If I saw alien in my. I see how that ends. It busts out of your tummy and it gets you. That doesn't look like. I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of pain. That looks pretty painful. Remember the dude was screaming when alien came out of his stomach. He was Alive for that does. Humans can be infected with screw worms when they travel to endemic or outbreak areas. Another reason for you guys to stop going to Mexico. Mexico, okay, New Mexico. I'm sure they've got it. It's the same as Mexico, only updated and not much. Not much. They're parasitic flies that burrow into warm blooded tissue. Most of the time they start in like if you've got a cut already and you think you'd have to have some gaping hole. It's not like an earthworm, they're parasitic. So all you have to do is have a cut, like a scratch that's just below the surface of your epidermis and it gets in there and they lay the eggs. And then you got stuff crawling around inside.
Brett
You just don't fall asleep next to the workshed outside or something, you know?
Brady
No, now it's in your food and then like it's around your house and stuff. Because Mexico doesn't care. And the US has been fighting the screwworm problem. We'd never heard of them before. That's how blessed we are to be American.
Brett
This is a first time for me. You might have mentioned.
Brady
Well, I mentioned it a while ago. Hey, they're talking about screw worms. I'm like, that seems like something we should probably fight. And we lost. They're here. And it's also another way, and you know, you want to get into the conspiratorial side. It's another way for them to raise prices on food. Yeah. Because they're like, oh, we gotta do some screw worm vaccines and keep an eye on that.
Brett
So it's affected the livestock.
Brady
The price will go up because we'll lose a couple of screw worms. Remember when bird flu killed all those chickens? And chicken wings were like $340 each. That didn't last forever because we can make chickens. I think they can make a million chickens in like two minutes.
Brett
I think they're printing them now.
Brady
When I was at 3D print. Yeah. When I was at the Native Grill last Tuesday or Wednesday, whenever it was Wednesday, and we had that eating contest, I looked at the poundage of chickens in front of me and I always do this, and there were six dudes up there and all of us had probably 150 wings in a bucket. And I'm looking at that and I'm like, how many goddamn chickens are there? Think of it. In all the nation of just every state, every city, there's a place that just has nonstop chicken wings. At least one now, major cities, there's six 700 different restaurants in Phoenix, at least that could will never run out of chicken wings. They're just like, you want more? Yeah. All you can eat. They'll pile them in. There's billions. There's Buffalo Wild Wings is dedicated to the idea that everybody that comes in there is going to have at least 12. That's six chickens.
Brett
And the tsunami season just started a couple weeks ago.
Brady
Oh, with football. Yeah. And we never like, we're short. How many chickens are there? I'm going to guess 10 trillion. I think that's about accurate. I think at any given time, there's 10 to 12 trillion chickens.
Brett
There's some hidden farms.
Brady
There has to be, by the way. There's people who just hanging around this the state that have them in their yard. They're not going to eat them. So there's even more chickens.
Host
As of 2023, they said 34.4 to 35 billion chickens.
Brady
I think that's low.
Brett
Is that a year that we consume?
Brady
Not that we consume. Well, we do eat them. I mean, if there's 34 billion chickens, let's say a billion of them aren't for eaten. That's a high guess. So we're eating 33 billion. We've got to replenish that regularly. How? I mean, we're eating. Because we're not making 33 billion chickens unless we're eating 30 billion of them.
Host
What's it's the ratio to humans? Approximately four to five chickens for every one human.
Brady
Yeah. I have this thing now that sprouts, puts shredded roasted chicken in a little tin bucket and has like a pound of chicken. And I hammer that. I eat that like, and there's like two of them at a time. I will crush it. And then I realize there's. That's more chicken. Like there's chicken all over the place. We have billions of them and we make them to eat.
Brett
We're consuming 34.
Brady
We're eating 30 billion chickens a year because there's eight.
Brett
Eight is eight billion. Close the mark of the population.
Brady
Well, for the world. For the world. The whole world's not eating chicken wings.
Brett
He's saying four to five chickens. Is that just in the U.S. that's gotta be.
Brady
Well, I don't think that's 34 billion, but still per person in the world. And I'm saying, is it 34 billion chickens in the world? Yes. Oh, okay. How many in the States? That's what I need to know. Because I don't think we're using world chickens.
Host
I'm sure we are.
Brady
I think there's. I'll. I'll go out to say there's a billion chickens that are just walking around.
Brett
You never know because for, you know, a while there we were. Who knows if we're importing chickens? I don't.
Host
That's what I think we are either.
Brady
But we can't be importing.
Host
I wouldn't doubt it.
Brady
We're not importing chickens. There's no way.
Host
Not bringing the whole chickens over here. They're killing them there and sending it over here just like they do with fish.
Brady
That's true.
Brett
But did it with beef for a while.
Brady
Boatloads.
Host
522 million chickens in the US in.
Brady
The US so we eat 520 million chickens. That seems low to me every year, because I'll give you that. There's 2 million of them just kind of hobnobbing around the States with the hobo pack and all.
Host
Billions of chickens are processed annually with nearly 9 billion broiler chickens raised for meat in the US each year.
Brady
9 billion each year for the state.
Host
It says if you figure.
Brett
If he's saying four or five per person.
Brady
Well, no, I'm just saying, like if you've got 9 billion and there's 34, currently there's got another 34. We just churn 30 million at a time. We keep that number at 30 million. And while we're eating one, the other ones are almost ready to be eaten and they're making more to be eaten later. So it's 30. 30 million in this cycle. We eat a lot of chicken.
Host
But think about it, you know, like when you go to native, they give those. Those trays were £4.
Brett
Yeah.
Brady
So.
Host
And it. He said basically, give or take, there were, I think, 40 wings, you know, flats and drums.
Brady
So it's 20 chickens, right? Well, no, flats and drums would be.
Host
Yeah, yeah.
Brady
I don't know how it works. I don't know how to do the math. Quarters.
Brett
But still, the United States does import chicken products from other countries.
Brady
I figured that. Bottom line is we're gonna end up with screw worms. So watch out for screw worms. Yeah. They're warning you that if you weren't before, but you've got wounds that won't heal and stuff crawling under your skin and it's visible. You might want to go get checked out. I'm not a doctor. I'd have told you that with or without the knowledge of screw worms. But they're out there. They're out there.
Brett
According to the, you know, AI, this is in 2002. This is most recent. They're saying 2002, the US imported approximately 3.8 billion pounds of meat and poultry products.
Brady
All screw worms are here now. That's because they did. And you know what? Tip of the cap to the US for keeping screw worms out and still bringing in a bunch of meat from somewhere else. I don't know what poison we put on our meat to make screw worms go away, but more of that, please. Let's get all the conspiracy theorists and lunatics. Look, you put so much in your food and the poisons, I'm like, yeah, to keep screw worms out. I'd rather do that than eat that organic crap and end up with parasites. I like my food full of steroids and additives. I love it.
Sally
It's terrible for you.
Brady
91 years old, then, with my additives, that'll make my bones hurt. That's it. I don't. I don't. Again. I go back to the idea that medical science is the worst thing that's ever happened to us because it makes us live longer. We're only supposed to go, like 30, 35 years.
Sally
That's.
Brady
That was what we were built to do. We started to preserve ourselves. I don't want screw worms. We're cleaner than we've ever been. That's the scariest part. Every day that goes by humanity is a little cleaner than it was before. Go back 100 years. We were filthy. Compared to today, we're so clean now. Screw worms have got to go. And thanks to Brady Scott for inventing the screw. What a great thing. That is powerful. It's a good idea. Here's something else. I want Van Dudes who want to entertain me on trails. I heard the story. I watched it last night. There's a guy who's been running up and down Piestewa Peak for six years, and he goes up and he plays a flute every morning. And then people, here's the thing that the story kind of was like, what a great thing. At the end of it, they're like noise complaints. Nobody's complaining. Anything at the top of Piestawa Peak. Unless you're annoying people with a pan flute. So he climbs up there and he thinks anybody's interacting.
Brett
It fits with that mountain.
Brady
No, it doesn't. It doesn't at all. Nobody wants to hear you and your desperate cry for attention at the top of the mountain. Entertain us with an acoustic guitar, a ukulele, a flute, anything. Leave us alone.
Brett
It's America, John.
Brady
No, it is America, and it's Time for you to stop annoying most of us.
Host
It's got nothing to do. The Renaissance festival isn't for a couple more months. I mean, yeah, exactly.
Brady
It's rehearsal has nothing to do with it. Every day for six years, he goes up there and blows a pan flute. Nobody wants it. They told him to be quiet. So even in the stories, like, I'm gonna do it a little quieter than I used to. Cause of noise complaints. No, that means everybody was telling you to shut the. No, no. Neighbors are calling the top of Piesta Peak. Nobody wants to hear your crap. It's not nice. It's not a moment. Go have your own moment. Play the pan flute for a second. Six years, you're just an attention. That's all you're looking to do.
Brett
So would that eventually happen if a guy went up there too, and he gets to the top and he sings a couple of songs?
Brady
Oh, yeah. Oh, push him off.
Brett
That's a noise complaint.
Brady
Yeah, push him up.
Brett
You know what you're talking to? Loud noise complaint.
Brady
You're exaggerating it. The noise can. Talking is expected. Some dude that breaks out and goes.
Sally
Hey, strangers, everyone look at me. I built a little castle.
Brady
Like, shut the up. What are you doing?
Brett
They should do a vote for people that hike piece to wall. Yeah, because the guy's been doing it for six years.
Brady
Brady, they did. He has got noise complaints.
Brett
There you go.
Brady
That's that. Nobody else got noise complaints.
Brett
It's like someone, you know, one person has a problem with the flute. There's the complaint.
Brady
Okay.
Brett
Something about it.
Brady
Brady, no one wants these do gooders to pop up there and make friends with them on the top of the mountain.
Brett
There's other mountains to hike. Get out of here.
Brady
Yeah, for him. And take your pan flute to your backyard. There's a reason why nobody goes to his concerts. If you have to bother people with your instrument and they didn't pay for it, you're annoying them. That's it. Bass players learned this a long time ago. You want to clear a room out real fast? Go in there and grab your acoustic bass and start playing for the patrons without them asking for it. They'll kick you out. You wander around with a guitar on the street. You're a lunatic. Stop it. With your instruments that nobody paid for. If you're good enough, people will watch you perform or they'll drop money in a bucket. You're an attention whore. You've got a problem at home. You're escaping your problems and you're trying to attack strangers. With your skills, nobody's interested.
Brett
Here's the key. If you do the flute, you just put the bucket out there.
Brady
Yeah, Right. And everybody would kick it down there and go, go get your bucket. It's on the bottom where you belong.
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Brady
Home birds, morning sickness. If I went up there and started to do a radio show, people like, shut the up. I didn't bring a ra. I didn't bring a radio because I don't want to listen to the radio right now. So I don't want you up here. Bother. Shut the upper. There's another guy who climbs up every day and gives people ice cream. It's the opposite of why you're hiking.
Brett
I heard about that.
Brady
Yeah, don't do that. He's bringing ice cream to be like, knock it off.
Brett
The good humor.
Brady
Stop trying to make pals at the top of the hike because you're lonely. And you know what never happens with these people? They never have, like, people with them. They hike alone. They've blown it here on the surface with the rest of us. They don't have friends, so they have to hike up and bother you in the hopes that you like the pan flute because they've wasted their time learning to play that thing. It needs to end. That crap is. That's garbage. If I got up to Piestewa Peak and I heard, like, what the. You ruined my hike. I'm here every day. No one hired you to do this. Go home. Go make friends. Go over the Windsor, grab a burger and annoy people there. You know how I know it's crap? Because if you and I were in a restaurant and you're like, hey, buddy, what's your name?
Sally
I'm Brady.
Brady
Hey, my name's John. How are you?
Sally
I'm good.
Brady
Are you gonna get some food?
Sally
I sure am.
Brady
Okay.
Sally
What the hell are you doing? You're playing pan flute next to me.
Brady
Yeah, I just thought maybe the people here would enjoy that.
Sally
Shut the f up.
Brady
That's exactly what you do any other setting, you say, knock it off. Some dude starts playing a guitar next to you at a restaurant, like, what are you doing? Just thought everybody'd love to hear what I've got. Nope. If that were true, you'd make records nobody wants to hear you. Shut. The upper bass players get it. They're the only ones. If a dude started to set up a drum set in a restaurant, the restaurant will kick him out. Nobody wants to hear you play your instrument without asking or hiring. You got to get hired to do that stuff. If you ambush us with your crap and he's getting all this credit, but if you look, read between the lines, people are complaining about this guy constantly going up there and wrecking the peace of their morning. Some people hike just for the peace and quiet of sitting on top of that thing and hearing the wind. They don't need, you know, some dude up there pretending to be like the Great Spirit, honking on them on some flute that they never. They don't want to hear it. It's fact. So stop it. Stop it. And just put the pan flute down. That's enough. Maybe if I paid to go to, like, Talking Stick and they had some sort of instruments or if I went to the Mim, I'd expect it.
Brett
But you're talking about private places, right?
Brady
You get hired to do that, right?
Brett
No, outdoors.
Brady
Stop it. Nobody wants to hear you. You're. You're.
Brett
I know you don't want it.
Brady
You're isolating people.
Brett
It stinks. There might be a guy that I don't like hiking up there. The time that I'm going, you're going to try to get them off.
Brady
Try to come. Yeah, because you have a common nobody. Everybody's trapped, and you're going to the same place, and he knows that. He's basically holding you hostage with his bull. That's what I'm saying.
Host
I don't want to hike with Zam Fear Master.
Brady
Nobody wants to. Freddie's trying to make it so. It's a beautiful thing. And I say, you and your remaining kidney. The reason there were noise complaints is because people go up there to breathe, have their own moment, and he's trying to entertain them. If he was doing it on his own, he'd go off in his quiet corner and play on his. He's trying to make people like him. It's a sad cry for help. You wouldn't go up there and start serving pork to people every day for six years when they say, hey, would you knock it off? Well, I'll do it quieter.
Brett
That's Pork Man.
Brady
Yeah, Pork man comes out, he's an idiot. Everybody hates him. Flag lady, Pork man, pan flute fella. They all end up the same in some sort of Internet scam. Trying to make friends with a colonel in Texas who makes them cut pages out of books and send money. They're lonely. That's all that is. It's a screen at a place where people are trapped, where you try to be the star attraction, the attraction atop a piece of peak. The views.
Brett
It's not you and Parrot man who hikes with the parrot for garage.
Brady
Those dudes. It's screaming out cries for the parrot doesn't want to be up there. You know what? The parrot would love you to have unclipped his wings and let him fly around and be a parrot. But no, he's trapped on your shoulder. Now he's got to go do what you want.
Sally
That sucks.
Brady
Yeah, he's funny that way. No, he's telling the truth. He's the only one honest about what's going on. Yeah, nobody likes that. And it has nothing to do with talk. And if somebody was talking so loud, it'd be like, hey, could you keep it down? People would say something. They told him this. And he still hikes up there. See him on the news last night, and he was like, nobody's celebrating. You do realize that you were told to be quiet, right? Yeah. Just gonna play quieter. No, no. They're telling you to stop. They're trying to be nice. Everybody loves the flute guy. Well, then how come nobody ever hikes with you? I have to do it alone. Six years you've hiked alone every day? Yep. You don't have any friends. That's all I get.
Brett
Well, I had my buddy with the rain stick, but he just too tough to hike. Quit?
Brady
Yeah, he quit. Something happened. He was either pushed or fell off the mountain. I can't remember exactly how it happened, but it's just. It's so. I don't know. Those dudes drive me nuts. Because it's like, oh, here's this guy. If you've got a guitar case and you're halfway up the mountain, I'm already mad at you. Oh, Christ. Let's turn around. He's gonna want to sing. Was the movie Role Models when it was the dude had the guitar, he kept breaking out, and everybody's like, oh, there's nothing. Paul Rudd said. Exactly what I'm saying. Oh, there's nothing worse then dude with an acoustic guitar. Or we can't Leave. And he starts singing Big City. And he can't get that. Wait, wait, wait. And he starts over. It's like, oh, the only time that's good is if you went into a restaurant and they had hired pan flute guy. No one will ever do that. I still believe so would I. Yeah, but maybe somebody would go in and go, oh, this is nice. Because it's atmospheric to the.
Brett
Yeah, they'll do it like botanical gardens.
Brady
Right? They hire people. If you walked into the botanical gardens, you started blowing your pan flute at people who were trying to look at the plants, and no one hired you, you'd be asked to leave. Stop terrorizing us with your crappy instrument. You know what? Nobody ever does hikes with a clarinet. They wouldn't know this is just too obnoxious and loud to do.
Host
Or bagpipes.
Brady
Bagpipes, yeah. There's all these instruments, but everybody hates all of it. It's a fact. If a dude just started blowing a clarinet at, you'd be like, I'm knocking this guy out. Like you're insane.
Host
All right, Benny Goodman, let's get a move on.
Brady
I'm gonna do a little string of pearls for you. Hope your hike went well.
Sally
What is this?
Brady
Thinking. He thinks he's gonna make friends and he's not.
Brett
It's like every once in a while the band's practicing in the garage or whatever in the neighborhood.
Brady
Not the same, because they're. They're in their own space.
Brett
Yeah, but they'll get a no noise if they.
Brady
If they're terrible. And they keep doing it every day, but you'll give them a break. Nobody practices in garages anymore. That's pretty much stopped, which is great. Everybody does it in their beat laboratories. In their bedrooms, though. You don't even need instruments. And there's no garage bands anymore. And that was also awful. But if they played in your garage when you came home from work, you'd ask him. You'd call the police. Yeah. Yeah. That's the same thing as these idiots chasing people around with their dumb instruments. Stop it. This comes from a guy who loves music. But I like music. That's good. It says Brady. That would be as bad as those goddamn sound bowls you've got. Oh, could you imagine? You're up on the mountain. You just hike.
Brett
They haven't been up there.
Brady
Just through a 40 minute run up Piestewa, and you're breathing heavy. And some broads up there trying to convince you sound bowls are what you need. Right. Like, I'm gonna knock you and your bowls out. Stop. I need to just hear my breathing and take a moment for myself. Stop it.
Host
Apparently there's some asshole up there with a guitar too.
Brady
Of course there is. He's lonely too.
Brett
But if it's good, you're okay with it.
Brady
I'm not. It's never good. If it was good, he'd be hired. It's the local artist problem. You know how I know you're bad? Artist. The word locals in front of it. Nobody wants your art outside of your region. And nobody wants it outside your region. If you're selling anything for less than $10 on First Fridays, you're not an artist yet. You're trying to be.
Brett
Gotta start somewhere.
Brady
If you took a few pictures and put them on Instagram, you're not a model. If you're playing guitar and you have to chase people to do it, you're not a guitarist, you're an annoyance. Go into a bar with your guitar and say, I'd like to play for the people. Do you want me here? And let the bartender say. Or the owner say, sure. And even say, I'll work for free. And then stuff yourself in a corner and play. But do not ambush us with surprise. Guitars, bass, drums, a horn. There's tons of instruments that. If people did it, you'd be like, this is a nuisance. Your pan flute is no different. No tuba. Guys in great shape, pumping it up to the top of Echo Canyon. And people would arrest him. You're an insane person. Has nothing to do with noise complaints. But if you get them, that means nobody wants to hear from you. That's the thing about a noise complaint. Read the room. If you go up someplace and they're like, noise complaint. To the point where you're like, I'll quiet down. They're just saying, stop it.
Brett
Is that a mariachi band?
Brady
You imagine how mad you'd be. Did you hike Sedona? And at the top, some mariachi band breaks out and there's. I mean, unless they were bringing first time chips and salsa.
Brett
No, like, for six years.
Brady
I guess I would stop hiking that mountain if there's a mariachi band.
Brett
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. The guy's on the flute for six years.
Brady
Once is too many. It's time to stop. And the news actually covered it the right way. I got to give them credit. He's playing quieter now due to several noise complaints. Well, nobody wants to hear from him.
Host
Does this guy think he's Jethro Tull.
Brady
Standing at the top of the Mountain. What if I'd went up there and he just said, hey, aqua lung. And he just starts singing? You'd be like, yeah, you'd laugh. But then you'd want it to stop. Then you'd never hike again. Another story I saw last night was they're saying that student scores in the United States have hit an all time low.
Brett
And math?
Brady
No, just everything. They can't do anything. They can't pay attention. They're terribly stupid. And I'm telling you, it's my quarterly plea to tell all teachers of public schools to quit your jobs. Cause they're gonna blame you for this. And it's not your fault. It's not the teacher's fault. I've been a teacher advocate for ages. It's the parents fault. If you're getting bad grades, they blame the teacher. It's the kid and it's the parent. I know for a fact, and I turn to you, Brett, you come home with a bunch of Ds. Is it the teacher's fault? Is your dad going to say, oh, these teachers, I'm so mad at them. Or is he going to tell you, oh, oh, I see. You expect a free ride and you don't have to do anything. If these aren't bees, soon you live outside.
Host
Yeah, he's not giving the teacher five across a mile. That's me.
Brady
They're saying that it's a new batch of student test scores indicate a college. The slump in the college and career readiness. Because the kids have zero attention spans. They can't learn anything. They can't keep track of anything. The results are quite sobering. And they're blaming the pandemic and everything else. That should have been the most best learning time ever. If parents cared about their kids at all.
Brett
It was pretty instrumental for Kirby, more or less. I mean, you know, it's always been, if you're gonna go to this school.
Brady
Right, one C, you're out.
Brett
Two Cs, we're moving.
Brady
Brady, that's called consequences. And I'm a little surprised you're bringing them to the party. Although we both know that if Kirby came home with these, she'd get to go to school still. But the fact you're hanging it overhead as a false threat is what a parent is supposed to do. It's not the teacher's fault. Your kids are stupid. My friend the other day said something about his daughter and he goes, my daughter's not turning in her homework. And I'm like, she's not doing her homework because there'd be no point in doing it and not turning it in. I'm like, you're. That's semantics. But that's your fault. Like, what do you mean? I'm like, if she's doing her homework and not turning it in, that's weird. That makes her dumber. But if she's not doing it and you're saying it's just she's not turning in her homework, then she's not doing her homework. That's if she's not doing the job.
Brett
And some of that turn in this house changed a little bit. Turning in your homework now on numerous classes enter. Right.
Brady
Holmberg's morning sickness Medicate KUPD Holmberg's morning sickness.
Brett
You don't even have to place anything on the screen.
Brady
That's different. That's only different for you.
Brett
Right? But I'm saying it's. It's a little more convenient or easy.
Brady
It's the easiest time ever. If you do your homework, it's simple. You don't have to write anything.
Brett
Yeah, but I can, you know. Okay. You forgot you thought you entered it.
Brady
No.
Brett
Thought I turned it.
Brady
No, you're an idiot. And at the end of the night, at 9 o', clock, the first thing my dad always said before he went to bed. Did you finish all your homework? Yes. Did you? I've got a little left. Get in there. Turn the TV off. It was every day and it was annoying, but he didn't want an idiot.
Lisa
In the case of what you're saying, it's even worse because all kids, even in Lisa's class at fifth grade, they can log into their studio and they know everything.
Brady
Yeah.
Lisa
So there's no way. And the other thing is, it takes away all the excuses. Like you were saying, I didn't turn in my homework. Yeah, you can see that. You didn't turn in your home.
Brady
Did you do it Right? You didn't do it. That's why you didn't turn it in. They're going to blame the teachers. Tell Lisa to quit. They're going to blame the teachers for this and it's not their fault. And the parents are saying things like what Brady said, which is, it's too difficult. I don't know. Why can't we just turn it. That's how kids work. It's not. You're not understanding it, but it's not their fault.
Lisa
Lisa had a kid in her class already this year that said. So he was kind of being rambunctious, so she sent him to another lady to help him out with math. He came back and he said she didn't know how to do it. How am I expected to know how to do it?
Brady
You hired a tutor who didn't know math to teach math. Yeah, I'm sure she's still. You should probably fire her or they were having an affair because I read that about in the news constantly. That's a thing. But they're going to start blaming the teachers and it's not the teacher's fault. It's 110% the parents fault. If your kids are getting bad grades.
Brett
We get an update every week on the grades.
Brady
Right. Every week.
Brett
They don't not. You know, you should get used to dread the progress reports would happen because you five or six weeks or something.
Brady
But Kirby's going to a private school. You pay extra to get extra because they assume and there probably aren't many kids at Kirby school that don't have both parents riding their ass a little bit. Gilbert's got a whole lot of mom wants to be friends but there's two parents for every kid at the Gilbert Christian. Probably 90% of that Cha Ching Chavez.
Brett
Probably 90%.
Brady
That's a totally different. Yeah. Cha Ching Chavez. Congratulations. Yeah.
Brett
I wonder if it is that high.
Brady
It's high because I've been to Gilbert. Nobody's happy. But they all go through the motions. They all stay together. Nobody's in it. Yeah.
Lisa
Go to Lisa school and watch the entire crowd change from day to day, day to day.
Brett
But every schools are probably doing the weekly update now that you have.
Lisa
Like I said, it's daily.
Brady
Like you can check on your own. If the parents want to take interest.
Brett
They can send it to the par. By the way, here's what they're doing.
Brady
They're not doing it and your kids are stupid and you're blaming the schools and it's your fault. 100% across the board. Your fault.
Sally
I don't have time for this.
Brady
Shouldn't have kids. Well, that's not the way it works. Well then step up.
Lisa
Lisa calls or emails. Parents weekly. Can you help me out here? Yeah, he's do. He's not even trying.
Brady
Yeah, he's not doing anything.
Lisa
He's. Yeah, he's not even looking at it.
Brady
This is work at home. Yeah, that's why I call it homework. Yep. Now it's on you. You got to help me out.
Sally
My son's not learning anything.
Brady
Well then he's either dumb or he's not doing the work.
Sally
How dare you call him dumb.
Brady
Well then he's not doing the work, that's your fault. You need to ride his ass.
Lisa
And then there's also a push in the state to. To not have as much homework. And then you're. You're like, okay, well then when are.
Brady
They going to do this stuff?
Lisa
When are they going to learn this stuff? How are they going to get practiced?
Brady
I'm telling you, it's. Again, it's my quarterly plea to public school teachers to all quit. Just quit. It's not worth.
Lisa
Keep bringing dependent.
Brady
Oh, absolutely. The pandemic showed completely, 100% across the board. The parents are like, I don't want this thing in the house all day. We got to do something about this. And they were begging teachers to open the doors of their own homes. Can you guys let them into your house?
Lisa
Some of them did.
Brady
Yeah. I don't want it here. I'm working from home now. And it's home. I didn't. I. I paid taxes, so it goes away for eight hours at least.
Lisa
This had to have happened in Brady's neighborhood, too. But there were people near us that would gather in the green belt and.
Brady
Do school outside just to get the kids out. Yeah, I pay taxes, damn it. To have it leave for eight hours.
Lisa
That's what took advantage of. And had a barbecue and lessons.
Sally
Bite and contest math. You don't. You guys don't need to learn any math. Sorry about all the smoke. I don't need to learn math. That's what your phone's for.
Lisa
Look at that smoke ring.
Brady
Who wants rare? These are ready to go.
Sally
Tiny little nummy nums. Pandemic wieners.
Brady
Ow.
Brett
My kidney.
Sally
Ouch. Back hurts a little bit. Probably nothing. I bet in five years that all goes away. Nummy nums for anybody who wants them. Phosphates. Free phosphates.
Brady
Your kids are dumb because of you. End of story. Stop blaming everybody else. You got a dumb kid. That's on you. And nobody wants to hear that.
Sally
My little angel. It's not his fault he's so bright.
Brady
I like when people say that he's not challenged enough. Oh, he's challenged, lady. Yeah, he is.
Lisa
He's challenged daily.
Brady
Your kid's challenged all right.
Sally
No, he's. He's bored at school. You know, Einstein got absolutely.
Brady
Okay. Quit throwing that bomb at everybody. He was fairly unique. You don't have an Einstein. You got a Braden. And he's dumb.
Lisa
Yeah, because Einstein I'm pretty sure, was doing things in his office, right?
Brady
Yeah. Your kid is not. Einstein wasn't interested with school. He was self teaching. You know, thermodynamics and quantum this and that instead of Bill Gates.
Lisa
It could have changed.
Brett
He's off to Instagram. Was around when Einstein was right.
Brady
And that's on the parents too.
Host
You don't think Talon's in there doing the same stuff Einstein's doing?
Brady
I mean, come on, Talon and yeah, you're right. And the other talent and then talent with an I, Talent with a Y. I met. I'm going through a thing. I watched that friends and neighbors show and I thought to myself, this is exactly how I feel. I want to rob my friends. Everything in the world is boring. Just absolute bull. Everybody's fake.
Brett
It was liberating form.
Brady
I met someone the other day whose kid had the dumbest name. And I just said, oh, what kind of is this? His name was Flagan.
Sally
What?
Lisa
Excuse me?
Brady
Flagan. Flagan. This is my son, Flagan. I'm like, that's a last name. What'd you do that for? Flagan is like, it was never his grandfather's name. Don't give me that. You made that up.
Sally
This is flagging.
Brady
Oh, Royce. Oh, come on, come on. You want attention? This is an accessory. At this point, your kid is horse. Put it back.
Lisa
You've chosen bling.
Brady
Just as you blinged him with a name. Flagon. Quit it. Why don't you just name him Swarovski? Make him a jewel.
Sally
This is.
Brady
It's just enough. And I'm like, oh, you pretentious garbage pile.
Brett
Flaky.
Brady
Yeah. What do you call him? Flag around the house. That's gonna end up bad at school. Flag and the boy. And if you're listening, you know, cuz I told him, I'm like, what kind of is that name?
Sally
We wanted him to be unique.
Brady
Well, he looks like all the others. He's dirty and he's picking his nose. Flagin's an idiot too. It's your fault. You got dumb kids. It's your fault. Teachers, this is again your only advocate in the city. Quit your job. Go get a job doing something else. Yeah, or hire an Asian kid in the neighborhood to help him with math and get to work. It's on you. Or flagging. Exactly this.
Sally
Hi, it's my husband, William. My name's Sally. This is our son, Flag and O. Flagon.
Host
Like, oh my, the dad agreed to that.
Brady
Of course he's. His nuts are in her purse.
Sally
She want him to be different than all the rest.
Brett
She opened up her Louis purse and there they were.
Brady
Yeah, and Flagan's probably spelled P, H, L, A, G E N. He's got to be the most unique thing in the world. He's a special little guy. Now tell him to get his finger out of his nose because he's 8. It's enough of that. Flag him. I hope he's listening right now because he. He hates his kid too. There's no way you can't like him. You can't love a Flagon. That's not a thing. Like Talon and Skyler are on the cusp of not being loved. You can't. As a man. You can't love your son Skyler a little bit, maybe, but you don't love him as much as you should because you named him something stupid. Black people got away with this a long time ago with the crazy names, but at least they were funny. Flaggin's just annoying. Robitussin adding a D and an apostrophe to Kevin. I mean, that's just funny. His name's Kevin, but not just Kevin. De Kevin. And I'm like, that's awesome. I don't know how you got. Well, that's great. He sounds tough. Flagging now. If I was a pregnant black family right now, Deflegan wouldn't be a bad idea. Because that's kind of cool. Such a white person's name anyway. Teachers quit your jobs, parents. It's your fault if you've got a dumb one. 100% across the board. Brett graduated from school with good grades. And Brett only thinks there's 24 letters in the Alphabet. That's a fact. It's not like you absorbed it all. But you got out because you'd have gotten killed at home. Yeah, teachers were never going to be mean to you. They didn't care if you passed or failed. Your parents should. It's a Good thing it's 729. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there, Burt? Wake up.
Host
Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop, of course. And it is time to get those bikes ready and ready to go for the trail. Or if you need a new bike, Action Ride shots the place to be. They got the best wrenches in town. They got all the gear you're gonna need to get you out on the trail. And again, if you need a new bike, no problem. They got the full line of Pivot. Santa Cruz, Rocky Mountain. You name it, they got it. If they don't, they'll get it. It is Action Ride Shop. Two locations. Gilbert Road in Southern. And of course, the OG is Gilbert and Southern. And of course, the brand New one right there on Power and McDowell right by the Haas trail.
Brady
Hey, it is Action Ride Shop by the way. Just got emailed the thing. Einstein excelled in school. It's an old wives tale that he failed anything. He might have been bored, might have had one grade. Yeah, he might have had a couple moments just like I'm not doing that Home ec. He got an F in Home EC and like maybe he took a hairstyling class or something. That dude wasn't gonna do well there.
Host
Tell Talon what a why to get back to work.
Sally
Einstein got all ass.
Brady
No, actually that's a lie, Talon. And I'm gonna hit you again if you say that. I'm gonna send you up to the top of Piestewa Peak to listen to the pan flute.
Sally
Oh, don't do that.
Brady
That's right. Do your homework.
Sally
Dad says I have to listen to the pan flute. Top of a mountain. If I don't do my homework, I'm doing my homework. I don't want to hear that. Idiot.
Brady
Bet you that guy got bad grades and that's why he doesn't have a job. And he can hike every day for six years. He's probably in great shape because he's chasing after friends all the time.
Host
He's got a job for two months a year at the Renaissance Festival.
Brady
That's about it. That's all people hire him for Turkey.
Host
Leg and a pan flute.
Brady
Right after he annoys you on the top of your hike, he runs out there to Gold Canyon and annoys people there too. But at least they pay him to do it. People expect it there. Everyone expects to be annoyed at the Renaissance Festival. It's what it is. I still don't understand celebrating the plague, but go nuts. What do you got, Bert?
Host
All right. On the list, a lot of pig songs. Green Jelly, Three Little Pigs, Nine Inch Nails, March of the Pigs, Cold Chamber, Pig 2, which was Rob Halford's industrial project. I'm a Pig and then Dope System of a Down Drowning, Pool Seven, Dust Tool, Stained Avenged.
Brady
I don't remember Halford having a secondary deal.
Host
Yeah.
Brady
Was it good?
Host
He teamed up with Trent Reznor.
Brady
Trent Reznor and Rob Halford did stuff together. Just music, right? Yeah. How about that? I don't think I've ever heard this or even heard of this. That's somewhat fascinating. There it is. And this is the. This is a little. It's kind of cool. Yeah. I mean it's Rob Halford kind of. Let's do it. All right. Let's do a lime and pick. Here you go. Good one. This for Brady's new kidney? Yeah, that's right, Brady is Pygmalion. There you go. It's 98. It's out of control now. 98. K u p.
Episode Theme:
This episode takes on a blend of wild current events, infectious threats (especially “screw worms”), a comedic deep-dive into chicken consumption in America, a fiery rant about an annoying pan flute player atop Piestewa Peak, and a soapbox plea over plunging US school test scores. Throughout, the crew shares their irreverent, combative, but oddly insightful takes.
Timestamps: 00:42 – 09:45
Key Points:
Timestamps: 04:01 – 09:45
Key Points:
Timestamps: 10:02 – 24:37
Key Points:
Timestamps: 24:37 – 34:37
Key Points:
On Disease Symptom Advice:
“If you have weeping sores and stuff crawling under your skin, you might want to consider going to the doctor. I didn’t need to know about screw worms for that.” – Brady (01:30)
On Unasked-for Public Performances:
“If you have to bother people with your instrument and they didn’t pay for it, you’re annoying them. That’s it.” – Brady (12:36)
On Parental Duty:
“Your kids are dumb because of you. End of story. Stop blaming everybody else.” – Brady (32:19)
On Bad Names for Kids:
“He’s a special little guy. Now tell him to get his finger out of his nose because he’s 8. It’s enough of that. Flagan.” – Brady (35:22)
On Teacher Accountability:
“If your kids are getting bad grades, … it’s 110% the parents’ fault.” – Brady (28:57)
For the Uninitiated:
This episode is a perfect snapshot of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness: irreverent, fact-flipping, and all about lampooning the absurdities of modern life—from flesh-eating parasites to the American urge for public performance, all the way to education’s decline (and why it’s your fault). You'll laugh, groan, and maybe rethink playing your guitar in public.