Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Episode Summary

Episode: 09-09-25 – Who Saves Birthday Cards Like The One Trump Gave Epstein...
Date: September 9, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg (Rick), Fitz, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98KUPD

Episode Overview

This episode centers on the unexpectedly lasting consequences of seemingly innocuous jokes, signatures, and greetings in things like birthday cards, especially when such mementos resurface years later in legal or moral scandals. Using recent revelations about infamous figures (such as Jeffrey Epstein and Donald Trump) and the birthday cards they exchanged, the hosts reflect on their own questionable card messages, the pitfalls of social media, and the bizarre anxiety of being posthumously linked to scandals through signatures or photos. The result is a humorous yet cautionary take on public accountability in the digital age.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Joking About Taboo Topics and Audience Sensitivity

• The show opens with Rick addressing an upset listener about a previous segment involving an inappropriate age-gap scenario.
  • [00:46] Rick: “Every day we say something that could trigger someone... I’m sure you’ve laughed at something horrible that’s been said in the past.”
• The hosts note the weirdness and risks inherent in joking about sensitive or taboo subjects, acknowledging changing societal standards and the permanence of recorded media.

2. The “Birthday Card” Scandal: Trump, Epstein, and Company

• The crew discusses how a birthday card signed by Trump for Epstein, filled with questionable humor, is now being scrutinized decades later.
  • [01:35] Rick: “If those become legal fodder or some sort of a court case evidence, I’m doomed. I write horrible stuff in people’s birthday cards.”
  • Fitz: “But it was really funny at the time.” ([02:27])
• They reflect on how something meant as a joke, especially in the context of powerful people, can take on grim significance when the people involved are later accused of terrible acts.
• Memorable quote:
  • [02:31] Rick: “Especially a guy like Epstein. Why is he saving a bunch of stuff? Wasn’t he hiding? What are you doing?”

3. The Risks of Photos and Social Media

• Rick expands the topic to photos with strangers, public events, and social media, comparing it to carrying a “viper in your pocket.”
  • [03:23] Rick: “That’s why I hate social media. I always say it’s a viper in your pocket... 10 years from now, when I take a picture of myself with some guy — I took pictures years ago with the zombie killer, and I didn’t even know it.”
• Humorous anecdotes follow about mistaken identity and signing things as famous baseball players.
  • [04:30] “Avoiding STDs. That’s a pretty solid one. Rick Heller had some good advice all around.”

4. Cards & Signatures as Future “Evidence”

• The hosts riff off the anxiety of being connected, even peripherally, through signatures or greetings, to infamous people.
  • [06:20] Rick: “Birthday cards are now the new MeToo movement.”
• They jokingly advocate for only the blandest messages in cards, to avoid future misinterpretation.
  • [11:35] Rick: “Here’s the agreed-upon phrase to write in the birthday card: Everyone has a birthday. Congratulations. And then sign your name. That’s it. You cannot go to jail for that.”
• Notable quote:
  • [10:16] Fitz: “Who saves birthday cards?”
  • [10:20] Rick: “If you got Trump, Clinton, Obama—these are all in the birthday book... That’s worth millions of dollars.”

5. Reflections on Meaning and Generational Shifts

• There’s a running gag about older generations loving cards, even if they’re impersonal.
  • [11:44] Rick: “Oh yeah. They love cards. And the card says nothing of their own thoughts.”
• The hosts express skepticism about the point of cards, seeing them as relics and increasingly fraught with potential future consequences.

6. Yearbooks and Guilt by Association

• The conversation shifts to yearbooks, recalling dumb or heartfelt messages written to classmates who later ended up in jail or the news.
  • [13:55] Rick: “Imagine stuff you signed in yearbooks and stuff back in the day, too. Oh, man. Have a great summer, Jeffrey Dahmer...”
• They playfully imagine the fallout if mundane yearbook notes became court evidence.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• [01:35] Rick: “I write horrible stuff in people’s birthday cards... I drew a naked lady as a joke. Good Lord. I don’t know if Trump was joking or not.”
• [03:23] Rick: “Social media is a viper in your pocket... I’m just gonna stop. Native Americans, you were right. Pictures steal your soul. It’s time to stop doing them.”
• [06:20] Rick: “Birthday cards are now the new MeToo movement.”
• [08:52] Fitz: “If you got a birthday card from Jared today wishing you a happy birthday, what would you do with it?”
• [09:14] Rick: “I would probably keep [it]. I’d show everybody. Jared sent me a birthday card.”
• [11:35] Rick: “‘Everyone has a birthday. Congratulations.’ ...You can’t get wrapped up in anything for that.”
• [13:55] Rick: “Have a great summer, Jeffrey Dahmer. It was awesome to be with you in English... See you in jail, bro.”
• [14:53] Rick: “That’s bad. If it’s a pedophile or murderer later on. ‘I love you.’ What does this mean, Mr. Bogan?”

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:46-01:35] — Listener complaint about jokes and reflection on triggering content
• [01:35-02:31] — Epstein’s birthday card, dangers of mementos saved for decades
• [03:23-04:30] — Social media as a “viper,” hazards of old photos
• [06:20] — Birthday cards as the "new MeToo movement"
• [08:46-09:14] — Would you keep a card from a now-disgraced celebrity?
• [10:16-11:35] — Who saves birthday cards? Value and risk of signatures
• [11:35-13:55] — Generational differences about cards, neutral phrasing, and reflections on yearbook messages
• [13:55-15:26] — Yearbook signatures, guilt by association, the absurdity of hindsight

Overall Tone and Takeaways

• Irreverent, Self-Deprecating, Paranoid Humor: The hosts maintain their trademark blend of dark, self-mocking humor as they lampoon their own past, cultural shifts, and the unpredictable dangers of modern media permanence.
• Cautionary: The episode concludes with half-serious advice: keep your messages, photos, and jokes bland, because you never know who or what they’ll be linked to decades from now.
• Generational Commentary: There’s a clear divide noted between the previous generation’s love of cards and the hosts’ skepticism, offering a comedic critique on pointless traditions in a world of permanent receipts.

Bottom Line:
This episode uses the absurdity of Trump’s birthday card to Epstein and the fallout from past associations as a jumping-off point for a freewheeling, funny, and a little paranoid take on how even the smallest personal gestures and jokes can come back to haunt you—especially now that almost everything is recorded, saved, and searchable.